#im gonna freak out CAN HE DIE???? SOMEONE SHOOT THIS MAN RIGHT NOW

[tinynap]

lord take all of the world's pain and suffering and give it to donald fucking trump

[ididntwantthisacount-blog2]

Headcannons for a(nother) dumbass au

EDIT: AHHHH, FORGOT THAT SOME OF THE SCREAM CHARACTER HAVE THE SAME FIRST NAMES AS RE CHARACTERS GONNA PUT THEIR MOVIE IN BRACKETS IM SORRY SIRUHDFHJJUJUSDJKSD

(I may or may not be watching scream 5 and thinking of the absolute shit-show of what would happen if I just ploped a bunch of ghostfaces((+ Sidney)) in with the RE crew. and I may or may not be on a roll tonight and gonna write that shit)

this is just bcs I love the scream movies lmaooooo

SPOILERS FOR ALL SCREAM MOVIES

(this blog has become the land of the stupid and impossible AUs)(might turn into a series and add more good guys like Gale and Dewey and Randy, bcs I can bring back whoever I want in my own dumb au)

I mean, if its all current ghostfaces then there's some geeking out from the Scream 5 ones about the others(but im not here for that, im here to stick them in with zombies, so we can all just imagine them freaking out about one another and get straight to the au stuff)

Also, gonna ignore the Stab movies and just say we dropped the ghostfaces and Sid in a universe where that isn't a thing.

Sidney is involved how? I think im going with current Sidney from 5, so she's being chased about by the 9 killers she thought were all dead, so im just sending her to the RPD for help.

so yeah, like in the AvP au, the STARS crew is pretty busy. but someone saying that they are being attacked by serial killers might be taken more seriously that someone talking about aliens. so ima say they believe her.

they still might not have time though.

I would say they put her in a safe house or something, but that's boring. so to the mansion she comes

she's survived enough to know how to follow horror rules, so she may surprise them with how good she is.

that being said, there's a huge difference between klutzy teens in costumes with no peripheral vision and a fucking hunter.

she's not gonna let herself trust anyone because of her previous problems being part of a group.

even so, she probably gets attached to the STARS crew pretty quick. especially cause Dewey was a cop(and she married Mark from scream 3, also a cop) so she is used to trusting them

so it's gonna hit hard when Wesker turns on them.

she's used to it, and knows it wasn't aimed at her(probably very refreshing for her, it always seems to be targeted at her) but she's mad bcs she really has decided she likes the STARS crew

she thinks Rebecca is the most wholesome smol bean and wants to kill Wesker for shooting her.

when the Tyrant does its thing she's like 'fucking n o p e'

she fully understands that they always come back, so she rlly wants to go shoot Wesker in the head to make sure, but what can she do while being chased by the Tyrant. (if I make a series out of this, there will be a lot about how she's finally gonna face an actual semi-immortal villain after so long of just humans and tons of talk about supernatural monsters like Jason and stuff, blah blah they always come back, and now she's gonna wish she'd listen to Randy a bit better)

oh yeah, I forgot the ghostfaces

lmaoooooo. this whole thing was kinda about them, and I forgot about them.

(off topic as shit, but Richie was right. thinkin about having to address hate comments and yeah. how can fandom be so toxic when its about love?)

ok, back to the ghostfaces.

Wesker wants Sid out of the picture bcs she might fuck up his test data or something.

that's just an excuse for me to have him bribe all the ghostfaces to help him in return for him capturing Sid for them.

if they all came to the mansion I think we lose Amber, Charlie and Stu right away. they might be the weakest of all the ghostfaces

Richie is sticking to Billy[scream] in such a way that it might become a problem. after they both lost their partners right away they might just decide to hang out

Jill[scream 4] isn't really upset about losing Charlie, but she's gonna die next.

its possible that Wesker killed her bcs he's sick of her drama queen bullshit.

Roman is like 'wtf ok mr corrupt cop man' - I also think Roman might last longer than most

Chris or Jill runs into the group of bumbling idiots and I think we lose Mickey and Mrs. Loomis (she tried to offer him up and they both got shot)

so that leaves us with Billy[scream] and Roman and Richie

im thinking bcs they r my favorite 3 ghostfaces they get to live by just kinda dipping after that.

If this becomes a series I might retcon other deaths I stated here.

Ima imagine a funny scenario where the 3 I let live knew Wesker got stabbed by the Tyrant and he shows up and they freak the fuck out.

omfg ghostfaces in a full on outbreak is such chaos.

stay tuned for more bullshit

holy shit that was long

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Diego Hargreeves’ child

Diego Hargreeves x child!reader

warnings: knifes, blood, guns, death mentions, mental hospital

a/n:

prompt: anonymous: “Hi! Could you please write a “The Umbrella Academy” Diego Hargreeves x daughter reader headcanon? I always think Diego is such a overprotective softie dad ♥️♥️”

deigo really said “?????”

how dad

but also he’d just the most loving dad anyone could ever ask for

✨it’s because he was never loved by his dad✨

“hi cutie, i love you, i love you, i love youuuuu”

he locked away all his weapons so that you couldn’t hurt yourself on them

but he always missed a few and he’d turn around and see you holding throwing knives and just FREAK OUT

“no, no, no, you may not have those! knives are for big boys like me, not babies”

“give back”

“‘give back?’ are you nuts?”

diego has conversations with lil you as if you know what the fuck he means dhshshhshs

as you got older, you became more interested in his “career”

“no, i dont care if you have powers or not! you have a bedtime, that means no vigilantism, you hear me?”

“if i say ‘no’ can i be a vigilante?”

“you know what? how about you clean up the gym for al so he doesn’t evict us?”

you did not sign up for this

you really wanted to meet your aunts and uncles, but you weren’t exactly sure they knew about you

i mean, you knew you had a cousin but everyone knew about her because aunt allison was a goshdarn celebrity

“dad, i want to meet the family!”

“no you don’t”

end of discussion

despite having a bedtime, you still watched movies late at night with your dad

he really liked marvel movies

“come on, that would never happen!”

“you come from a family of superpowered kids, a robot mom, and a monkey, and you’re upset about...a guy that shoots arrows?”

“maybe i am, what’re you gonna do about it?”

you ask about umbrella academy stories a lot, you your dad usually makes it about him

“and then i punched that guy in the face! and then i stabbed him in the leg because he was a dick! bet you’re friend’s dads arent as cool as me”

*yawning bc you’ve heard this story a million times*

you go to public school

you do have your dad’s last name

which occasionally gets recognized

“woah! wasn’t your dad a superhero?”

“i have no idea what youre talking about” :)

practicing your knife throwing while diego is away, him coming home to find his knifes stuck through various targets

so proud but he had to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself

you actually had to learn how to patch him up because he did come home a bit battered and bruised several times

“im okay, y/n. no need to freak”

“dad, there is literally blood dripping on the floor will you just sit down and stay still for five goddamn minutes?”

“woah, who the fuck taught you to cuss?”

watching the news at home when your grandfather was reportedly dead

you were actually very upset because you wanted to meet him so bad

even if he was a dick

your dad came home silent and you knew he knew

“you okay?”

“oh, yeah, im better than okay!”

finally getting the chance to meet your family

“who are you?” -allison

“im, uh, y/n. diego is my dad”

*jaw dropping*

and you know what? that happened four more times (plus ben but you didn’t get to see that)

“and you are?” -luther

“who’s the...the little one?” -klaus

“well, what do you know? diego’s a dad” -five

“don’t tell me that’s...no way” -ben

“you’re diego’s? wow, i can’t believe he didn’t tell anyone” -vanya

“i...i know who all of you are” -you

diego bragging about how perfect you are while everyone simultaneously rolls their eyes

“well, y/n, maybe one day we’ll schedule a playdate for you and claire” -allison

“‘playdate?’ how old do you think i am?...but yes i wanna meet her”

“god, you’re so much like diego, it’s unsettling”

you had been secretly training at al’s gym during your dad’s late night activities

so when trouble came your way, you were able to handle yourself pretty well

“where the hell did you learn that?”

“al showed me a few moves!”

“that old man? you’re kidding”

you met your grandmother, grace, who was tasked with keeping you safe at all times

you actually loved her sm

but there was something a bit off about her

besided the fact she was a robot

klaus snuck you out so that you two could have BoNdInG tImE

it wasn’t all bad

ben was a lil choked up that he got to meet one of his niblings

“they’re perfect”

“they just stabbed someone, buddy”

“who are you talking to?”

FIVE EVEN SCHEMED WITH YOU

“okay, y/n, i need you to curve something when i throw it, got that? right at that security guard”

“what are you throwing?”

“you’ll know when you see it, make your uncle five proud”

“IS THAT A GUN”

<3 family

running into patch!!

“hey, kid, i just saw your dad. i thought i told you to handcuff him to the radiator when you were away?”

“yeah, well, he wouldve chewed his hand off so here we are”

that was the last time you saw her :/

well, your dad was now a wanted man

“what happened to your arm?”

“no”

you actually didn’t expect this family reunion to go south like this

wait—yes you did

vanya has powers????

“i thought vanya was the one without powers?”

“yeah. so did we.”

diego straight up did not want you anywhere near that

but you, again, were his child and also fuck authority you do what you want

the vibe is almost getting shot several times

by hazel, cha cha, and “commission” guys?

going 2 ur auntie’s concert 😌✨

“y/n, hide in the bathroom and stay there until i come get you”

“dad, i love you, but no”

“y/n, i love you too, but yes”

“no”

“yes”

“NO”

“YES”

you won

but in the end (or not so much) you time traveled to...1961?

without any of your family

“this is...this is not good”

understatement of the year(s)

what was a kid like you gonna do in dallas, texas in 1961

no seriously, what

it was rough, but you managed to survive on your own

and open a paper in 1963 to find a mugshot of your dad

“son of a—”

visiting dad! (two years later)

“y/n? oh my god, y/n! shit, i missed you so much! why do you look different? you’re bigger, oh god. how long have you been here?”

“2 years, dad. you?”

his hair was so LONG

“2 months”

“christ, that’s it?!”

“i have to stop jfk from being assassinated”

“what makes you think that’s a good idea???”

“its the right thing to do, wanna help?”

“shit, i guess. as long as i dont end up here”

“no promises, people in the 60’s are crazy”

diego: 👁👄👁

you: 👀

running into five on the street soon after

“uncle five?”

“no time to talk”

“okay, asshole? i’ve been here for 2 years and you dont care?”

“two years, huh? i spent 45 years in a post apocalyptic world as a 13 year old and beyond”

“i didn’t say it was a competition, dude. you kinda dropped us all at different times. at least, me and dad. he—”

“is trying to kill lee harvey oswald, i know. come with me”

finally running into your other aunts and uncles, who were so excited to see you

you ran into their arms and they picked you off the ground and you felt closer than ever after only knowing them for 10 days

dad broke out

lila too

“im your new mom!”

“you’re what?”

diego dragged you along with him almost everywhere

he had missed you so much, but he keeps forgetting you kinda grew up without him for a while longer

meeting grandpa :)

“a grandchild, huh? how unfortunate”

“bitch”

“what did you just call me?”

“a bitch.”

your dad and basically the entire table trying to hold back laughter

reggie was stunned

cold hearted just like him <3 he didn’t know if he was offended or proud

this is so confusing

diego just disappeared off the face of the earth

and assassins were on your case

“the goddamn swedes are back oh shittt im gonna die”

“y/n, just curve their bullets”

“it’s not as easy as it sounds, klaus!”

you were doomed

theres too much to go over

apparently you died on a farm????

and then you didn’t??????

and your dad was almost apart of the commission

“hey, you okay, y/n?”

“i would like to take a nap please”

“yeah, me too”

“me three!” -klaus

yeah it was never that simple 😌💕 the end

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @cullens-stuff // @lotsoffandomrecs // @takethebladeawayfromme // @that-nerd-tessa // @teenwaywardasgardian // @spidergirla5 // @sheridans-dynamos // @freya-xo // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @jay-is-groovy // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @abbiesthings // @thereagles // @ofthedewthesunlight //

[imagines-mha]

How they turn you on in public

Fandom(s): my hero academia

Characters: Hawks, Endeavor, Aizawa, Toshinori, Fatgum

❤️ Bold of you to assume you aren’t gonna be turned on everytime this man does so much as w i n k at you

❤️ He has a knack for making you feel like the only person in his entire world with his subtle movements

❤️ Like shooting you a smirk when he says something that could be interpreted as an innuendo

❤️ WANDERING HANDS!!!! ALL THE TIME!!!!

❤️ He has no shame with performing pda. None. Nada. Rien.

❤️ He’ll have his arm slung around your waist while he talks to someone, but he’s gonna be squeezing and groping your skin whenever he can and he knows damn well how crazy it makes you

❤️ Tbh he loves physically teasing you

❤️ Tugs on the ends of your hair to spring back memories of the night previous in the bedroom

❤️ Calls you certain names too

❤️ Like this man will openly call you baby in front of a group of successful pro heros and you’re lying if you say you wouldn’t MELT

❤️ Also, the way he says ‘kid’ has the ability to fuck you up lmao thanks yagami yato

🧡 Stares

🧡 HARD.

🧡 He has no shame in keeping his icy-blue eyes glued to your figure while you’re in the middle of doing something simple

🧡 And no matter how many warning looks you give him, he ain’t gonna look away

🧡 Part of him loves the fact he can get you riled up so easily, another part of him loves to exploit his power over you

🧡 So once that gaze is locked on you, there’s no way it’s coming undone

🧡 At the start it’s intimidating, but after a dirty explanation from him one night you realise he just loves to eye-fuck you in public

🧡 And see you squirm

🧡 Also has no issue resting his hand on your ass while you’re walking somewhere

🧡 Man wants everyone to know that cake is HIS lmaoo

🧡 And he won’t give in until you get home. He loves building your neediness up until you’re practically begging for him the moment you walk through the door

🖤 His voice. Thats it thats the headcanon.

🖤 And if THAT isn’t hot enough, he knows how to perfectly lower his tone in a way that gets you on your knees in seconds

🖤 Am I saying Aizawa shamelessly uses his bedroom voice to you in public when he wants to tease you? Yes. Yes I am

🖤 “Kitten, bring me over that bottle of water,” he’ll stay, stern as ever

🖤 It makes you just DIE because kitten’s the name he only uses in the bedroom so you know he’s saying it for a reaction

🖤 Also dirty talks into your ear??? All the time???

🖤 “If i were you i would stop acting like such a needy little slut or else daddy’s gonna have to punish you right here-“

🖤 And then he’ll just?? Pull away?? And act like he said nothing??

🖤 He is THE world's biggest tease

🖤 And no one would even guess he was saying it- the only evidence is your blushing face

💓 Do you honestly think this man is going to ATTEMPT to turn you on on purpose??

💓 He can barely hold eye contact with you long enough before his face starts heating up smh

💓 But he is the MASTER of accidental touches

💓 He’ll reach past you to grab something, knuckles brushing your inner thigh when he does so

💓 And he’ll freak the fuck out, which makes the entire situation even WORSE

💓 “O-oh! Sorry y/n ,,,, didn’t mean to uh… touch you there…!”

💓 Awkward as fuck.

💓 It’s his height yall he just towers over you and u just k n o w he could RUIN you

💓 Other than that im sorry bro but hell probably NEVER purposely turn you on

💓 He’s too sensitive smh

💛 Yall think this man ain’t a tease???

💛 Like he’s ur big soft marshmallow boyfriend, of COURSE he is.

💛 but bro he could split you in half like i just KNOW his dick is big I JUST KNOW

💛 Keeps a hand on your thigh when you guys are sitting close together and OOF

💛 His favourite thing to do is text you shameful words while you’re both in a crowded room

💛 His texts are overflowing with so many details of things he wants to do to you when you both get home and it cuts a lot of nights out short

💛 “Darlin’ if i had my way right now you’d be bent over that desk and i’d be fucking you endless til i have to carry you home again-“

💛 And ur just like????? TAI WHT THE FUCK????

💛 And he’ll just shoot you a wink with the HOTTEST smirk

💛 When he’s in the mood, he KNOWS how to get exactly what he wants from you. And fuck is it MINDBLOWING.

[gwoongi]

best years

jeon jeongguk / reader genre: best friend au, bff-to-lovers au, fluff, angst, guk is pining rating: general words: 2.6k warnings: its a short little fic, sort of like one chunk of a big chocolate bar and im gonna slowly feed u one chunk at a time until you’re sick and full a/n: a squint into the mind of bff jeongguk who will star in an eventual “idol best friend” series that i routinely dream about but have always felt it disrespectful to write about but at the end of the day everything i write is fiction and jeongguk would probably be less offended by a “canon divergence bff au” than he would reading my drug addicted rockstar au so :-) read it & weep folks

Jeongguk’s always been scared of the rejection he might receive from you. He might be a dream for fans across the world, but there’s a split second where Jeongguk feels like he might not be good enough for you. He’s the world to other people. But you deserve the whole galaxy, and he’s afraid that’s something that he might not ever be, even with the money, and the fame, and the doubts he tries to hide.

Jeongguk was taking a pretty big risk, he knew that. It was risky taking any step out of his house at any moment, even on the days where it was pouring outside; he’d think he was safe until he made it to the end of the road, earphones snug in his ears, and the flash of a camera behind the shrubs in the corner of his eye blinds him back to his front door in a twisted shame. 

Granted, he’d expected it to be worse as he booked a plane ticket and made a rather hasty, in-the-moment journey to the airport and on a plane with no layover. Usually when Jeongguk takes a journey overseas, there’s at least one or two fans hiding in the corner of the suites waiting for him, or someone on the plane who’d recognise his face. For this, he’d suck it up and take a photo. It was better to have good PR, and be a little bit pissed off that he’d been discovered, than to have bad PR and to be known as the member of BTS who didn’t give a damn when the ‘real’ reasons for travel were taken away.

But Jeongguk thought the risk was worth it this time. The plane touched down in Manchester, and from there, it was an hour long train journey to a station he didn’t know anything about to meet a friend of yours he’d only seen in Instagram pictures. You were at University now, a face he saw on a screen rather than a face he quite literally woke up next to months before. It had been four months since Jeongguk had seen his true best friend, and fuck anybody who was going to make him wait a second longer before seeing you again.

You were his greatest risk, but it was worth it. You were worth it.

“Fuck, it’s insane to actually be meeting you right now.” Frank is a good guy, ginger with circle glasses rested on the end of his roundish nose. He led Jeongguk out of the train station, offering to pull his suitcase for him. “I mean, I’m a huge fan.” Followed by a sigh and a quiet, “Who isn’t…?”

Jeongguk smiled at him, squinting in the sun as it hit his eyes in the direction of Frank’s face. “Thanks. I hear a lot about you, too.”

Frank grinned, whipping his head towards Jeongguk. “All sexy and scandalous things, I hope. You know, none of us believed Y/N when she said she knew you. We thought the pictures were Photoshopped, you know how she is.” They both paused by the side of the road going one way only, “Shit, she’s gonna freak out when she sees you.”

That was three minutes ago, but Jeongguk’s still playing that sentence on a loop. He walks alongside Frank down one of the streets, past a redundant furniture store that quirks his brows. A man stands in the doorway, a cigarette out of his mouth and ash dropping to his toes bare in sandals. It smells like doughnuts, and weed, and he smiles brightly. He’s missed the UK, and how unbelievably shockingly awful it is when you’re not looking at picturesque photos of London online.

“I thought you’d know that Y/N’s my best friend,” Jeongguk says thoughtfully. He pauses as Frank does as a car zooms past when they’re about to cross. “I mean, people know. The photos got leaked, all of them.”

“Hey, give me a break,” Frank says dramatically. “I only became a fan three months ago. And yeah, I figured. Finally, I understood why all the white girls studying Korean here wanted photographs with her and to be her best friend…”

Jeongguk frowns. “Is it bad? She doesn’t tell me this stuff on the phone. I mean, they go crazy on Twitter when she posts pictures and we interact, but I didn’t…”

Frank shakes his head and grins at Jeongguk until the words die out. “Nah, don’t panic. It’s not that bad. If anything, she might get a kick out of the fame. Trust, there’s always gonna be the girls who hate her because she’s friends with you and that’s like, what, threatening to their fantasy? But she loves you a lot, and a friendship like yours...it’s kinda like family, you know?”

Jeongguk feels his stomach flip, kind of like butterflies. These butterflies are sour, his heart racing that extra bit quicker. He likes the sound of family. He doesn’t like the way Frank implies it, because if Jeongguk is ever going to consider you as family, it won’t be as his sister. You’ve never been his sister, even when you were part of his family growing up. There were times you came to all of his Korean family events, the times his family called you their own, but you were never his sister. It was different to that, you both knew it but never acknowledged it.

Frank makes small talk until they make it to the student accomodation you currently live at, and because Frank knows basically everybody, a student comes to the gate to let them both in. They’re nice, big and pretty-skinned, wearing an Aston Villa shirt that Jeongguk remembers looks a lot like your Dad’s back in the day. Might be the same, might be a vintage.

He smiles at him, because maybe this guy knows Jeongguk, but the guy just turns back into the common room and doesn’t come out again. Frank doesn’t live here, he lives in a flat of his own around the corner, but Frank might as well be a resident here. He lets himself in towards the lift and shoots a text to one of your flatmates.

“Apparently she’s in the shower,” Frank says casually. He locks his phone, taps his foot as the lift rises, “Let’s hope she doesn’t stride out completely stark naked as you’re in there.”

He almost blushes, “Ha, yeah.” He declines to mention the times you two have showered together, the time you went skinny dipping together when you were fifteen. Those were things that might end up getting misunderstood, and those are his memories he’d like to keep hidden and secret. He says nothing, nothing but a thank you when he enters your flat with Frank and takes a different turn to the left as Frank goes right, towards the kitchen.

Your room is at the very end, your name on the door in stickers from a set you got from the 99p store, and from inside, he hears the music in the bathroom. The door opens silently and closes with the same volume, and Jeongguk manages to wheel his suitcase to the end of the bed and plonks himself down. As expected from pixels on the screen, your room looks better in person- white walls and a bed set that’s white with a peony pattern. Above your desk, Jeongguk recognises all your photos together, new polaroids of you and the friends you’ve made at University who Jeongguk always felt kind of threatened by. He smiles to himself, and rests his neck at a strange angle against the wall your bed is literally attached to. From here, he can see the bathroom door in the mirror on the opposite wall, but he knows you’ll only see his feet when you come out.

Speaking of which; the Fleetwood Mac song ends suddenly and the shower water has stopped running. Jeongguk hears the toilet flush and his heart starts to race. Four months of falling asleep on Facetime and texting when there was no time left in the day, and now, here he is, on your bed, waiting for you to step out and...and, then what?

Maybe you didn’t even want him here. Maybe you were happier now that Jeongguk was in Korea and you were still at home, in a new city with new friends and a new life. Maybe the memory of Jeongguk was burdensome. Worse, maybe he was something you felt you had to remember but didn’t really want to.

Jeongguk’s always been scared of the rejection he might receive from you. He might be a dream for fans across the world, but there’s a split second where Jeongguk feels like he might not be good enough for you. He’s the world to other people. But you deserve the whole galaxy, and he’s afraid that’s something that he might not ever be, even with the money, and the fame, and the doubts he tries to hide.

The bathroom door opens and in two seconds, the light is shut off and he hears you sigh.

“Frank, you gotta stop letting yourself in here without telling me,” your voice says. “Good thing I’m semi-decent. Usually I’m not.”

“No fun,” Jeongguk teases, and silence follows. There’s a pause in the room, and Jeongguk cocks his head with his left cheek on his shoulder, waiting for you to click and appear in front of him. Suddenly, there’s small but quick thuds across the carpet and Jeongguk feels his chest tighten with a nostalgic feeling as you come into view with wide eyes, damp hair and nothing but a bra and those stupid black worn leggings you refuse to throw out.

The grin that reaches Jeongguk’s eyes now aches as he laughs at you, at the way you gape in his presence. It takes a moment, a moment of what feels like could be the rejection that Jeongguk absolutely fears, but then you smile so wide that Jeongguk feels it in his stomach.

“Holy shit!” you exclaim loudly, bringing a hand to your mouth as you hurry towards the bed. It dips beneath your knees and Jeongguk rises up to a sitting position. “What the fuck!”

He laughs out loud, and when you’re next to nothing away, Jeongguk wastes zero time in bringing you into his arms, tightly hugging you.

“Careful, my hair’s all wet,” you squeak.

“Don’t care.”

He really doesn’t. There’s probably going to be a damp spot on his clothes after, but that’s okay. You groan loudly with happiness as you hug him in return as tightly as he is hugging you, your weight on his lap and your arms around his neck. Jeongguk smiles so wide, sighing with content into your neck. Here, he smells the marshmallow wash on your skin, the fragrance of your hair that kind of reminds Jeongguk of cabbage patch babies.

“You smell good,” he mutters. You laugh quietly, squirming when his nose sniffs across your neck like one would kiss. “I don’t.”

“You do, you always smell good,” you reply. One sniff, he laughs, “See!”

“Mmm,” he plays along, “the sweet smell of planes and trains and jetlag.”

That makes you laugh, and at the mention of jetlag, Jeongguk realises he could probably fall asleep like this given the chance. He has missed this, missed you, so fucking much. The emotions are overwhelming. 

Jeongguk kisses behind your earlobe, and just underneath your jaw. That’s new. Jeongguk was a cheek-kiss kind of best friend, but never this. You’re not complaining. Your head drops to one side, almost giving him more access to the space free, and he occupies it. Those fucking butterflies; Jeongguk feels sick with nerves as he kisses you, under your chin and across your neck, on that spot on your collarbone you found out tickled after Seven Minutes in Heaven in Year 8. Maybe your fingernails in his hair are a way of you telling him to stop- it’s something he can think about tonight if he can’t fall asleep, something he doesn’t care to think about when he kisses on your actual jawline, to your cheek and the corner of your mouth, your cupid's bow.

He moves away with a blush that matches your own, but maybe you can’t see his in the colour of your fairy lights. He plays with the confusion as he moves the hair that's across your face around your ears, smiling and raising his eyebrows. Jeongguk convinces the role of casual to perfection and bites back a sour taste when he notices you’re the same. Casual, unmoved, maybe even like it didn’t mean a thing.

“Your hair is so fucking wet,” he sniggers boyishly.

“I told you,” you shrug. You shrink, relaxed, “Fuck, Guk, why are you here? I mean, I’m literally so happy, but...Are you gonna get in trouble for this?”

“I dunno,” he admits. “Maybe, probably. I mean...the guys know I’m here. Hoseok drove me to the airport with Jimin.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

Jeongguk sighs loudly. “Yeah, I know. Frank told me all about the girls.”

“Little fucker. Is he here? I’ll punch him for mentioning it to you. It’s honestly fine. Girls will be girls.”

“You’re my best friend for life, it’s important to me that you’re not uncomfortable by it-”

“I’m not,” you assure him, hands trapped in his hair. “Damn, this got long. Didn’t look long over the phone.”

“Was growing it out,” Jeongguk replies. “Heard you fancied Keanu Reeves, couldn’t handle the competition.”

“Ha!” you retort. “Simp.”

“For you,” frowns Jeongguk dramatically.

Conversation fizzles comfortably, to the point where you both forget that Jeongguk’s underneath you and your legs are wrapped like a koala around his middle. The fact that this is normality for you both is ignored. You’ve done worse things together. Jeongguk even knows that the bra you’re wearing now is one he bought for you. That could be why Jeongguk feels the way that he does, why this confusion wraps around his body and traps him. Jeongguk knows that the butterflies in his stomach don’t just appear because you’re his best friend he hasn’t seen in a while. He knows what they mean when they flutter when your name pops up when you’re calling him, when an interviewer tries to catch him out by bringing you up in another interview that you don’t need to be mentioned in.

Jeongguk knows that coming here was worth the confusion, and the nerves, and the fact that this will be a headline when it gets out. JEON JUNGKOOK GOES TO UK TO VISIT HIS BEST FRIEND...BUT ARE THEY MORE? Or worse, NETIZENS HAVE PROOF THAT BTS JUNGKOOK IS DATING HIS BEST FRIEND Y/N…

He doesn’t want to hurt you. That’s how he feels scared. For you to be scandalised by an article online that caught him out in his feelings, he knew it wasn’t fair. Jeongguk might be too afraid to say he’s in love, and too afraid to find out if you feel it too, but he’d risk those feelings and the headlines if it meant spending one more day with you.

Jeongguk’s got a week and a half with you. Something’s gotta give within this week. He doesn’t want to go back to Korea with more regrets than he came with, and for now, he’ll just have to swallow those butterflies back down when they pour out of his mouth. Right now, he can’t afford to be caught out. It has to be known on his own terms, when the timing is perfect. It has to be perfect, because it’s what you deserve. It has to be perfect, because if it isn’t, then Jeongguk doesn’t think it will be worth it.

Losing you to a headline and a butterfly is out of the question. One tries to escape when you hop off him and shrug on a jumper from out of your wardrobe. If you noticed his unease you didn’t mention it. He wants to cry, wants the confusion to go away for the night so he can enjoy it.

Fuck.

For now, he thinks as he follows you with an arm around your shoulders out of your bedroom and towards the kitchen to meet the others, he’ll just have to fake it til he makes it. Just like always. Put on a face, put on a show, until it all feels worth the spillage. He can’t let the butterflies escape yet.

It has to be perfect, and he’ll have to be patient.

[hazbincalifornia]

Amount of writing I’m getting done for OT and my IZ fic: Some.

Amount of writing I’m getting done for self-indulgent bullshit: Somewhat more.

Anyway, wrote out Bella meeting Sir Pentious because I was bit by the muse bug. This is written for the four people who know who they both are, f.

Wordcount: 2075

The second she saw the airship soaring through the red-tinted sky, shooting anything that looked at it funny, Bella knew she had to get inside of it. Let Kit flirt with their host (or, if she was honest, fail to flirt with, man, she didn’t even like flirting and even she knew that he turned into a pile of goopy mush when he was around a guy he thought was cute) and let Vee attempt to kidnap yet another animal to try and smuggle home, she wanted to find out who the heck made a steam-powered airship in the twenty-first century.

Or maybe Hell was actually stuck in the year 1900, who knew? Time probably passed funny in the afterlife, but the fact that nobody had shot them out of the sky yet said that there was something else afoot- the pilot had to have some way of warding off attacks considering rivals probably had, like, grenade launchers, and she wanted to find out how. Style merged with substance, ruling the air with confidence- and she wanted in. 

“Hey! Hey you!” She flagged down somebody with four arms and purple fur who looked short enough to be less likely to punt her into orbit- Mom had warned that most people down here were mean as, well, Hell- and pointed up at the ship. “What’s the deal with those?”

“You a newly dead?” The demon raised one of their four eyes, and Bella nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, newly dead. Anyway. Story?”

“They’re made by Sir Pentious, one of the Overlords. He’s some kinda inventor, I’unno. Never blew up anything that mattered to me, so I never cared that much.”

“Sir Pentious…” She rolled the name around in her mouth, plucking the ‘T’ in the middle thoughtfully along with the rubber bands wrapped around her braces. “Got it. Thanks!”

“Er- you’re welcome.” They darted off, but that was fine. Now it was just a matter of actually getting onboard.

____________

She couldn’t find a rocket pack anywhere- lousy Hell lagging behind Earth technologically- but ended up stumbling across the next best thing in a warehouse that had an extra ship that had clearly been in some sort of accident. This one was only partially-reassembled, and there was a lot of burn damage sustained to the aluminum and copper outside, but that just meant that she could see the skeleton without having to slice through a lot of layers, so it was almost better- and a lot easier to crawl in one of the big holes in the front window via a pile of parts in front of it.

The interior was decorated like a mansion, with vivid yellows, reds, and blacks- she could respect the commitment to the aesthetic, especially with torn-open snakesheds and red eyeballs plastered everywhere. It looked like something out of Mom’s old comic book collection, toxic and yet intoxicating, every detail chosen for maximum dramatic potential. It must look even better with all the lights on and more than her phone’s flashlight illuminating bits at a time.

It was the best playground that she could imagine- nothing but her and a massive ship the size of an apartment building. Oddly enough, there wasn’t much dust- maybe it had crashed recently and was being held here for repairs? It was certainly of a similar design to the one that she’d seen from the ground, so she couldn’t imagine that it wasn’t just an iteration or two away.

Her fingers ran over the sleek machinery like it was sacred- some of it looked like it belonged in a museum, but the rest was cutting edge, and the seamless way they blended was like something out of a dream. A genius indeed- if she’d been born a hundred years ago and was suddenly thrust into the modern day, she could only hope that her tech would look this good. There was room for improvement of course, there always was, but it was loads better than most of what she saw digging through the junkyard, and a lot closer to the stuff she made with Grandpa Zim using his irken tech. Impressive for someone who’d clearly been dead for some time, considering he’d made enough of a name for himself that some rando off the street knew it.

“Genius inventor, huh…?” Bella pulled out her screwdriver, starting to work on freeing the control panel. It had a touchscreen and levers, what was that about? She had to know what it looked like underneath- did Hell even use cables and wires or was she going to need to drag Kit in to do his magic business here?

It took some doing- whatever had taken this particular ship down had welded the panel into place and it took a crowbar to pry off, ha, take that Venus for saying she ‘didn’t need to bring it’- but eventually she got into the guts of the thing. Sure enough, it was wiring, spiraled all into itself in a knot- it must have gotten all messed up at some point, maybe that was what caused the crash on top of whatever burnt the outside? 

She was about to start taking it apart when she heard a pitter-patter behind her.

“I’ve got a gun and I know how to use it, ya know,” she said, rummaging around in her pocket before pulling it out. “Mom insisted I bring the one that can vaporize people since apparently half of you can’t even die the normal way anyway? Bunch of freaks.” Her finger twitched towards the trigger as the pitter-patter became a shadow as the thing scrambled up towards the same hole she’d come in. “I’m warning you, I’m a great shot. Won’t take two to blow your brains out.”

“Whoever you are, bossman says you gotta go!” 

It was an egg. Not like some kind of insult, it was literally an egg, and probably a third of her size. It was also wearing a little hand-tailored suit and top hat. She stared down at it, and it stared up at her. 

“Who’s bossman?” Bella asked after a few very long seconds of silence.

“You know… bossman!” It blinked. “He doesn’t like people pokin’ around his cool, cool stuff and you tripped the motion sensor. Hey, is that a ray gun?”

Bella’s finger eased off the trigger. “Yeah, it is. It can probably scramble you.”

“Oooh! Fun! Not as good as boss’s, I’m sure, but-”

“Hey, what say you take me to this boss?” Bella crouched down, knowing this was incredibly stupid but also already entirely committed to it. “Then he can decide what to do with me in person.”

“Hmm… alright, but no funny business!” The egg looked her up and down before turning heel, starting to clamor down the pile of parts. She had to hold back a snort when she saw that it had ‘#69’ written on its back.

Some things never changed no matter where you went.

____________

The egg blabbered on all the way back to the ship, mostly about jazz music oddly enough, but soon enough they were nearing a different ship that had settled behind a building. It was either the one she’d seen before or a duplicate, and she felt a shiver run up her spine as she got close- it looked a lot cooler in one piece and lit up bright yellow. Her phone buzzed, and she discreetly pulled it out as the egg launched into a diatribe on the importance of the saxophone. It was a text from her sister. 

dolittle 🐭: bells where ARE you

dolittle 🐭: kits distracting clove so I could grab one of those bugdog things but moms gonna be asking how were doing soon, what should I say

Bella thought for a moment before sending back a reply. ‘im checking out that airship we saw earlier. have weapons. ill be fine. meet you back at the cafe later’

dolittle 🐭: be careful ok? know you can handle it but still

Bella smiled a little at that, sending a thumbs up before tucking her phone back into her pocket as they ascended the bridge.

“And then, then he saysss to me, he sayssss- Ah, there you are! Good, good.” She heard him before she saw him, voice booming as he welcomed his hench-egg back. “And what was poking around the warehouse?”

“This, boss!” The egg tugged at her jeans by the knee around the corner before pushing her forward with surprising force. “They said they wanted to see you!”

“Well well well!” 

Bella’s antennae twitched as her eyes widened. The man in front of her was a jet black snake, with fangs, a top hat, a bowtie, and eyes on his face as well as nestled on the open space on his chest and hood. Best she could pin from Venus’s nature lectures he was a cobra of some sort, and there was a smug fang-y grin on his face as he slithered up to her, taking advantage of the height that his tail gave him- he’d probably be seven feet easy to Bella’s mere five foot one. 

It took her only a moment to shake off her awe. “So you’re the famous Sir Pentious!”

His grin widened. “Ah! You’ve heard of me, little tresssspassser?” 

“Obviously, considering I knew your name, right?”

“Er- yes!” He faltered for just a moment, and she went in for the kill.

“Your work’s fantastic, but you really need a way to keep the gutty stuff in order in case of a hit- that’s probably part of why that other ship went down, y’know? But your sense of design and how you mold your century-old designs with the new stuff- it’s fantastic, I just want to cut it all open and see how it works.”

“What did you do?” His hood flared, and she twirled the gun in her hands.

“I only touched the control panel, and your little egg boy got at me before I messed with anything, but I’d give anything for a couple of days working on the interior of this place- I bet I could make it run faster and with less fuel.”

The eye on his hat rolled itself as he narrowed the eyes on his face. “Who are you to come in and think you know better than I about my own shipssss? I should end you right here for your insolence and your trespassing!”

Bella folded her arms, glancing around. “Hmm… far left column, the one with a yellow eye instead of a red one.”

“What about it?” He folded his arms as well, waggling his head. “Are you-”

“It’s welded weird. Something went wrong with the metal when it was being forged, so you put it in the back so you wouldn’t have to look at it. You didn’t want to waste a perfectly good column because somebody screwed up one little part. And that’s just what I see looking around in, like, five seconds- gah!” The end of his tail had wrapped around behind her while she’d been talking, and struck before she finished her sentence, lifting her up to his eye-level with her arms pinned to her sides.

“Little wrench! How dare you?” 

“I’m…” Her legs kicked a little, ribs feeling uncomfortably bendy at the moment as his scales pressed against her chest and back. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

His tongue darted out as he hissed, just barely brushing her nose before sliding back into his mouth.

“What do you really want, missy? I don’t like competition, you know.”

“You to let me breathe, for one,” she wheezed, fingers turning to try tickling what she could reach, and his cheek twitched funny before she dropped bodily to the floor, only managing to roll in time thanks to muscle memory from combat training. Thanks, Grandpas. “I really do just wanna see how all your stuff works. The ways I could improve my own inventions if I just could figure out how to blend different functionalities the way that you do...”

“I am quite impresssssive, aren’t I?” He puffed up his chest a bit. “And you have no intention to-”

Bella drew an X over her chest. “Cross my heart. You’re the bossman.”

He looked her up and down. “Hmm. Get back to me when you have a proper uniform and not those ragssss, and I suppose I could show you around a bit, if- if!- you show me something of yourssss.  ”

Bella’s grin slipped into a smirk as she gave a bow. “Bella Donna at your service, then, Sir Penny.”

[llendrinall]

So i got another fic idea in my head The dates are very important. 1 (May 1998) Percy was a Ministry spy and he worked closely with Albus. He saved a lot of lives no matter their blood or if they were creatures. And at the battle of Hogwarts he saves Freds life but hes in crit condition George is a total ass (He's angry and takes it out on Percy) going off at him saying nasty things along the lines of that Percy isn't welcome at the Weasley home anymore.

2 When he tries to go to the House to talk to them he's not treated very well ("Dont wanna hear excuses Percy"). He just give up, packs his things in his flat, & the next morning he goes, gives his mission reports that date from the start of his Ministry career along with his resignation letter on Shacklebot's desk. Then he's off to America to start over he snuck into Freds hospital room & used Snapes healing charms as a way to 'set things right' before leaving.

3. Percy is now in New York, gets a job, and then spends the next 6 months working diligently and whatnot. Then he meets Audrey Smith, they end up going on a few dates and she introduces Percy to her local gym and they become gym buddies and soon start dating. (Aug 2000) After 2 years together (They're married) Percy and Audrey find out they're expecting. And then the twins are born on the 2nd of May 2001. Percy laughs a bit as Audrey pats him the shoulder and says "They sure chose the date"

4. Sep 11 2001) Audrey dies in the 9/11 attack (she was a muggle) & Percy is left a widow with 2 daughters to look after. (June 2002) He bumps into Oliver who's on a quidditch training exchange. They catch up. (Oliver doesn't bring up the fact that Percy's fam has been looking for him for years and that he's saved so many lives) As December rolls around Oliver spends it at Percy's, meeting the kids and hearing Percy tell him everything (His wife, his family and the war)

(I think this is part 5? Idk its 2am here) (Jan - May) They spend a lot of time together after Xmas and slowly Percy begins to heal a bit more after Audrey's death. Oliver ends up going back to the UK and Percy misses him. (July) Oliver comes back with news that he's transferred to an NY team "They might not be big on Quidditch here but they're extremely good, Perce" (Its not because Oliver has been inlove with Percy since Hogwarts. Neither is it because he loves Molly & Lucy to death either)

6 (Feb 2004) The UK Papers get a picture of Oliver, Percy the twins out and it BLOWS UP. Charlie (The only one who even heard Percy out back after the war ended, He knows the others did wrong by him) floos in and then warns Percy about everyone knowing he's here and that they're gonna be coming in 2 days. So He ends up having Charlie take the girls. He ends up meeting with his fam and it takes a long long time for them to heal and fix things.

7. His Fam only get to meet Molly and Lucy when they're 6. When they're 7 he and Oliver gets married. Idk why but i seem to only send you these fic ideas when im hella tired and at 2am. T_T Why am i like this? So Audrey named Molly and Perce named Lucy (After each others moms)

 Honestly, What can I say at this point? You have the whole story thought out. Go for it and write it!

It’s not the kind of story I write, though. But since you dropped the materials here, I can share how I would assemble it.

I would avoid New York. Big cities have a character. They are characters and you have to treat them as such. In Life skills, London is a character, complex and big and hard and beautiful. In Secret language of plants, even though Draco and Harry end up in London, I had them stay in the house because London was too big of a character for that stage of the story.

So, no New York. If I had to use a well-known city I would go with Boston, I think. Otherwise, a small one with a nice name.

Audrey doesn’t die on 9/11. Well, she dies on that day, but not on the attack. It’s something as simple and dull as a traffic accident. Percy wasn’t with her, not that it would have mattered. Yes, wizards have potions to mend bones instantly and protective charms and spells to stop the momentum, but Audrey died instantly, and no one could have seen the car until it was on her.

The driver was an old man, fumbling with that new invention, a mobile phone, trying to call his daughter who worked in New York.

Magic Law on the States is a bit… over the place. It would be extremely simple to put a curse or a hex that man. If Percy was clever about it, it wouldn’t be too illegal. But he doesn’t. Percy realizes it wouldn’t make him feel better.

 Percy doesn’t particularly like the States. The tea is terrible, the coffee is weak, the spelling is painful and people are entirely too talkative. But it’s sunnier than England and the orange juice is good, so he stays.

He goes to Romania every summer to visit Charlie. The girls love it there and it was always easy to talk to Charlie. Charlie who had such a promising career in Quidditch and rejected the fame and fortune for a thankless career working with dragons. Not even training dragons for bank security, which is a cool and profitable career, but fighting that very same use.

Charlie only goes back home for a week during Christmas, so he gets it. They don’t have to talk about it, never mention that weird state of loving your family and not wanting to be with them, to fight, to have to explain and justify your very existence and your life decisions.

He meets Oliver in Romania. Supposedly Oliver is there to see the sights and rest his left shoulder, that was injured at the end of the league. But he is not the first Quidditch player who has a crisis of faith and comes to Charlie with questions. So far, none of them had taken up dragon-protection, but one became a broomstick racer and another is the head coach of an Italian team.

Charlie only thinks about dragons. Oliver only thinks about Quidditch and is in the middle of an existential crisis. So it’s perfectible understandable that the topic of Percy, his war heroics and his semi mythical status is never brought up. To be fair, Charlie doesn’t know much about it because he doesn’t read English newspapers and his family never talks about Percy when he is around. Oliver just thinks that Percy is the first Competent Adult he has ever met and is much more interested about this Figuring Life Out than any hero status.

So it’s fair to say that the headlines come as a surprise.

Someone snapped a picture of Oliver and Percy sitting very close together in a park, with twin stupid loving smiles. It was all perfectly innocent. Molly was doing something cute out of frame and they never kept any physical distance between themselves, not even in Hogwarts. But it doesn’t matter. The picture is sold as proof of the mysterious war hero and the dashing sport star carrying a secret love affair. It’s a beautiful story, powerful. Percy is the tragic handsome hero and Oliver the right person to bring love back in his life after years nursing the wounds of war. Or perhaps Oliver is the sweet and honest good boy, the boyfriend every mother wants for her daughter, seduced by the man living a life of exotic and daring adventures.

Whatever it is, the world wants to believe in it. So much so that bloody Draco Malfoy pops up to warn them that there is a dozen of rabid, ruthless, paparazzies coming their way. He knows because Malfoy owns the most read magazine in England and has put a bounty on a photo of the two of them kissing.

Paparazzies don’t have a concept of trespassing, but breaking and entering into a dragon reserve has certain difficulties that can’t be bypassed with an alohomora and a lack of morals. Percy and Oliver spend the rest of the month in the reserve, not daring to go out. Twenty-two days in each other’s company, hiking in the mountains and playing with the girls. Molly and Lucy have decided that Oliver is similar to Charlie in all the right ways, so they like him.

On day nineteen, they kiss. Someone gets a picture of it, but, in his excitement, the photographer wanders into a nest of young dragon carps. He is recued three hours later sans pants or shoes. The photo of their first kiss is lost.

Oliver says he is almost done with his existential crisis but now Percy has one of his own.

You see, there is something Oliver hasn’t said. Something he didn’t mention at all. And Percy doesn’t know if Oliver just hasn’t noticed (it took him two years to realize all the Weasleys were siblings) or if he noticed but… doesn’t care?

There is more than one reason why only Charlie has met the girls.

Even now that Percy has received letters from every family member (including Freaking Aunt Muriel) and even a surprise visit from them (he has a life debt with Charlie for the heads-up) and they have begun the unpleasant work of fixing their relationship; even now, they haven’t met Molly and Lucy.

It’s because of the Weasley cousin they never talk about. The accountant.

Percy knows that it’s perfectly normal. Many wizarding children don’t exhibit any magic until they are at least seven. But he also knows that every single person in his family was levitating toys (Bill, Ron and Ginny) or stopping spilled milk in mid-air (him) or shooting sparks (Charlie and the twins) by the time they were three.

Molly and Lucy had done nothing magical so far. Nothing at all. And Percy knows, in his heart of hearts, that if anyone makes them feel inferior, if anyone dares to say anything against them, he will go the Dark Lord route and kill every single person prejudiced against squibs. He might kill every single wizard and witch and eradicate all magic, so his girls won’t feel inferior to anyone. He found in himself the strength to forgive the man than took Audrey’s life, but he won’t do the same for the person who speaks against his children. He can’t.

 On Christmas Percy reluctantly agrees to go to England with the girls because Charlie promises he will be there too. It is not easy. It is, in fact, very, very difficult and tense. He is forever grateful at Lee Jordan, who is glued to Fred’s hip cracking jokes and defusing tension. Also, Angelina Johnson takes George and Ginny to the kitchen and informs them they are the biggest idiots she has ever had the misfortune of meeting and that helps to avoid anyone saying something unforgivable they will regret their whole life. On Christmas’ Eve Harry Potter takes everyone’s wands because he is Harry Potter “and I do what I want” which means no one hexes anyone and they can overindulge the punch.

Oh, why bother? The whole thing is terrible and awkward and it hurts. But it is a necessary painful step, either to fix things with time or to say that he tried, actually tried, and never look back at this moment with regret.  

Also, he gets to meet with Oliver. It turns out that Oliver hadn’t noticed the girls’ lack of magic, but he also doesn’t care. Why would he care? Are you- are you supposed to care? Is this another thing Oliver missed because he only thinks about Quidditch? What’s wrong with not having magic in any case? Oliver’s mother is muggle and it is agreed that she is wonderful.  

(Even Potter says so. Percy has no idea of when Harry Potter met Oliver’s mum, but he speaks of her in the highest terms).

 You can read about what happened next on issues of 32, 33 & 34 of Alakazam as well as special issues 17, 21, 22 and 25. Draco Malfoy earns 1.5 million galleons with issue 33, setting a record for most successful print in wizarding history. Then he obliterates that record with a single stolen picture of Percy and Oliver’s wedding. He committed around a dozen crimes to get that picture, got drunk on champagne and victory and asked Harry Potter to marry him.

(He also donated all the money to a newly created society for the support and trade education of squibs, but only two people in the world know that).

[internalsealpanic]

I Will be Your Tim Drake for Tonight (3) (Jason Todd/ Reader)

Summary:  Preferring to do anything but your physics project, you decide to accepts Tim’s proposal. It’s simple. He does your project, you try to figure out whether Jason Sionis is criminal. Easy, right?

masterlist

A/n: This takes place in a world where Jason is adopted by Black Mask. Inspired by Building Interest by Zoeleo.The events and characterization in this story are very heavily based on Zoeleo's Long Term Investment series. It is fantastic and I really highly recommend all of her fics.

a/n: For clarification, Reader does have psychic powers but it only lets her sense people's emotions physically. No mind-reading. Her power is more like an overactive sense of empathy which may force her to dissociate into someone else.

There will be violence and mentions of alcoholism (used as coping mechanism for physical pain) and chronic pain.  

As for the additional warning, an animal is harmed but it is barely described. I could not bring myself to actual describe it but the aftermath is described.

I also just converted this from an OC so I apologize for any grammatical mistakes.

Without further a do:

Your stomach drops.

Fuck.

Of course, Damian just had to be the one to pick up.

"Hey baby bro, could you pass the phone to dad?"

"I'm sorry who is this?"

This little shit.

"You're such a kidder! Dami, it's me, Tim. "

“Ah yes, Drake-” You can hear Tim choke in the background. “What do you want?”

“Please Dami just pass the phone to dad, I- I really need to talk to him”

“Very well,”

“Tim?” The voice sounded like Bruce’s but the intonation was all wrong. The voice changer Tim and Babs were working on seems to have made progress.

“Hey dad, I- uh. I might have gotten kidnapped.”

Tim makes another choking noise. “Might have?”

“I was at the party. I think I had around 13 drinks. 13 ! Can you believe it? I felt like a right sailor after that, like the harbor workers, y’know? Anyway, I was taking a smoke-”

“Enough!” The large man roared, snatching the phone from you. “Send us $100 million by tomorrow or your kid’ll be shark bait!” Who says that anymore?

“Of course! Of course! I’ll have the money sometime this evening. Please don’t hurt him.”

Tim, God bless him, does not laugh. Tim’s acting needs some work but he sure does know how to act worried.

The line dies and they tie you back up to the post.

“What the hell?!”

“We have to make sure you don’t just runoff.” The large man says tightening your bonds. Truthfully, you’ve felt far worse. After all, corsets exist. However, this was still a close second.  

“Do I look like I could outrun a snail?”

“He’s got a point boss. He looks like he hasn’t even seen the sun in ages.”

This, you decide, is true for Tim. When was the last time he went out before dark? Maybe he got sunlight when he stayed over at Eddie’s place.

The large man grabs Jason by the collar and throws him to his men.

The 3 men kick and curse at him. They mock him and beat him down. They wail on him with their fists, their steel-toed shoes, and sometimes brick. Jason takes it all with a crooked grin and a sharp tongue. You watched in awe. Even on the floor, Jason looked sturdy, ferocious, and indomitable.

"They all break, sweet girl."

Jason is on a tiled floor. No, he should be on concrete. His blood is on the tile. They’re hitting him. They’re hitting him with a bat. No. They aren’t supposed to be holding a bat. They were kicking him but now they’re holding a bat. No, She’s holding a bat. There's supposed to be three of them, three men,  but their forms coalesce into her .  You can hear his ribs cracking. Next are his legs. His legs are always next. Then his arm. She'll break each bone in his arms and his hands.  He’s wheezing. His voice sounds hoarse. His voice is too hoarse. He sounds like he’s been starved and dehydrated for at least a day. They’ve only been here for an hour. That isn’t right. Oh God! Now she had a cleaver in her hands.

No!

No!

He doesn’t need to die. She can’t.

no.

No.

No!  

 The scene crescendos as the tall, dark, sinewy silhouette towering over Jason raises the butcher's knife above her head.

“Harder, daddy!”

“Son?”

The scene of the kitchen fades and the shit-eating grin on Jason melts into view which shifts from amusement to confusion then back to amusement.

You blink seeing his stupid grin far too clearly.

You let a bark of gut-busting laughter out as you strain against the rope. Your brow pinches with concern but based on the scowls you’re receiving they're more focused on the fact that you were laughing like a mad man.  

Jason looks like he’s about to laugh from the absurdity as well when the man in charge picks him up again tossing him into a chair. The other men tie him down binding his wrists and ankles.

"I've had worse." He spits out.

The phone rings again, the dial tone echoing. Jason looks like hell with his face swollen and bruises beginning to bloom on every surface but he still looked like he was 5 seconds from starting a fight.

The large man punches Jason hard in the gut knocking the air out of his lungs as the dial tone cuts off.  “Hear that, Sionis? Your little bitch is pretty soft.”

Oh God, are they serious?

“Who is this? Nevermind. You ok there, sweetheart?” Roman Sionis’ ‘concerned’ voice carries over the line.

They are.

“Nothing I can't handle, daddy.” Jason chuckles with the utmost casualness. You, on the other hand,  instantly want to disinfect your brain. Thankfully, before your mind could wander somewhere it can't return from,  the big man growls into the phone.

“Don't you recognize the voice of the man whose life you've ruined?!”

“You've gotta be more specific than that. I've ruined quite a few lives but I would like to know whose brain I need to put a bullet in.”

“IT'S ME  BRUNO HARDIN!”

“Doesn't ring any bells.” Roman deadpans almost sounding completely disinterested. “Sweetheart, you remember anyone like that?”

“Nope,” Jason replies letting the p pop. It seemed like a strange sort of triumph before it all crashes down with another swift punch to the ribs.

You stare at the strange scene torn between amusement and horror.

“Take this seriously!” Bruno roars.

"I'm taking this about as seriously as it deserves."

A part of you thought 'yeah this is ridiculous enough to warrant nonchalance' while the other part wanted to scream.  On one hand, even you found his identity anticlimactic. Doesn’t he know just how many small-time businesses Roman has ruined? He’d be lucky to get into the top 50. It’s not like he was running a pretty ethical establishment either.  On the other hand, your freaking kid is getting the shit kicked out of him. Emote damn it.

“Jason. Don’t you worry. Daddy’s going to take care of this. Your Uncle D happens to be in town. He’s on his way to pick you up. Love you, baby. See you soon.”

The line dies. Your stomach sinks further somehow. You don’t know if the nausea is due to the fact that the line died, the threat, or the number of times the word ‘daddy’ came up. Who the hell is Uncle D? How is he supposed to help? Your gaze trails to Jason who is now lowering his head to the floor seemingly tired. Maybe that last punch finally drained the fight from him.

“You're all so fucked.” Jason barks out in a fit of laughter. The men around him, jumping from the volume of his voice.  

Bruno grabs Jason by the collar and begins to shake him as if the  “Shut the fuck up you little bitch! Whoever your Uncle D is he's-”

“Deathstroke”

You feel like someone kicked you in the chest. First of all, Uncle D? Really? You guess that there are worse hills to die on. This was somehow weirder than hearing Faust and her siblings call him pops. Second of all, Fuck. You'd never gotten your asshanded to you by Deathstroke but based on how banged up the Titans looked after fighting him this wasn't gonna be pretty.  All you could hope for was that you wouldn't get caught in the crossfire. Although, the image of Deathstroke grudgingly letting a kid call him Uncle D lightens your mood a bit.  

Bruno throws Jason on the floor hard enough for his body to bounce. Like Jason earlier, Bruno is radiating murder.

Just run, you thick motherfucker.

You, being the ‘nice’ Wayne kid that you are,  try to tell him as much but sadly that was halted by shattering glass. A flurry of black, orange, and metal crash through the glass and cut through the crowd of men.  

They fire at him, panic making their faces even paler. They hit him, bullets sinking into his flesh, blood splatters but none of it fazes him. He skewers and cuts them down with ease. His swords and suit are liberally decorated with their blood when it’s all done.

He steps over Bruno’s body. From the grunt that comes out, Bruno is still alive. Dumb bastard doesn’t know how to play dead. He’ll die from blood loss anyway.

“Hey, kid-” Deathstroke greets tersely,  picking up Jason’s nearly limp body.  “We’re gonna get you home.” He slings Jason’s arm over his shoulder.

“Wait!”  

Deathstroke stops sounding slightly annoyed.

Jason turns to you, who’s still unhappily tied to a post.  “We gotta get him out.” He rasps.  

“Kid, you’re the only one I’m getting paid to rescue.”  Deathstroke helpfully informs as he carefully adjusts his hold on the struggling young man. You blow out a breath somehow more irritable than scared.  “Just cut me out. I can make my way back just fine.”

“Walk in Gotham, are you stupid?” Jason hisses. The concern bleeding through.

“Which one of us charged at their captors while they were armed?”

Jason scowls at you with a petulant twist in his lips. “Yanno what,  Leave ‘im.”

“Ok, ok, I’m sorry and yeah I’ll be fine. I know where to avoid. Just please don’t leave me with them” you plead, throwing away any pride you held as you glance at the most likely dead bodies. Deathstroke cuts you out. Your skin feels raw but you’re otherwise unharmed.

You walk out of the warehouse and Dick practically throws himself at you. “Oh thank god, they didn’t shoot you in the head.” He mumbles into your wig.  

"Why would you think they would shoot me in the head?"

Dick pulls back and frowns at you through the domino mask.  “You aren’t exactly the most pleasant-”

“ We were model hostages.” you squawk.

Jason snorts far too loudly to be helpful.

You glare at him but you weren’t about to say fuck off to him while he has one of the world’s deadliest assassins right next to him.

Deathstroke coughs.  “Well if you don’t mind we’ll be taking our leave.”

Dick holding you protectively, glares but says nothing. Maybe he does but you faint before you can hear it.

A/n: Thanks for reading!

[star-mum]

LIVE REACTION TO NIGHTMARE TIME EP 1

Idk if anyone would even be interested in reading this but as I was watching the show last night I kept writing down my reactions on my notes so here we are

*this is all in caps idk why just roll with it*

THE OPENING SONG IS SUCH A BOP OMG NICK LANG HIMSELF ?????? MONSTER FUCKER RIGHTS ???? HIDGENS ENTRANCE HOW ICONIC "LUCY IS HAVING NONE OF IT" I LOVE THAT OMG JOEY PLAYING KONK (?) IS SUCH A POWER MOVE I LOVE THAT THE BEGGINING IS JUST TARZAN FANFIC SKSKSKSKS MARIAH IS TEXTING JOHN (?) AND HES LAUGHING SM WE LOVE A COMEDY QUEEN I LOVE THEM USING THE ZOOM BACKGROUNDS SKSKSKS KONK IS AWFULLY CLOSE TO COCK AND I THINK ITS ON PURPOSE ?? SPECIALLY WITH THE LAG I HAD TO DO A DOUBLE TAKE SOMETIMES SKSKSKS SOMEONE JUST SAID "TED'S ORIGIN STORY" ON CHAT AND I LOST IT !!!!! COULD YOU IMAGINE ???? HANDSOME LADY ? I MEAN SURE TIGHT JOHN IS LOSING IT FUCK MAN, SAME CURT OMG THAT ACCENT OOOOOOOOHHHH BOY I KNEW IT WAS HER FIANCEE SHIIIIT WE CANNOT TRUST HIM I KNOW THIS !!! "ENTAGLED" SKSKS WHAT SIR HES GAY CHILL OUT WHATS THE YEAR, IT FEELS SO OLD TIMEY "I'D SAY YOU HAD FEELINGS FOR THIS APEMAN" OOOOOOOHHHH DONT U SAY JONATHAN IS A PUSSY BITCH I CAN TELL LUCY JUST DROP IT OH SHE ACTUALLY DID ????? FUCK IT UP BABE

(I JUST ACIDENTALY DELETE HALF OF WHAT I WROTE SHIT, ILL HAVE TO REWRITE IT FROM MEMORY) WHAT THE FUCK THEY WERE TRICKING US??? THEY CALLED IT, WHAAAAAAAAT WDYM "PLAY THE PROFESSOR" IS HE NOT A PROFESSOR WHAT ALTERNATE REALITY IS THIS I NEED TO KNOW

ARE THEY GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM WHAT??? SINGING LONDON BRIDGE WHILE CHASING SOMEONE IS MY FAV SCARY TROP HAHAHHA YEEEEESSS "TOOK OFF WDYM" GIRL HE IS HOLDING A GUN WHAT DO YOU THINK "WDYM" WHY DID HE KEEP THE KONK ACT AFTER LUCY LEFT SKSKSKSKS TED WTF SKSKSKS "I DO SOME OF MY BEST THINKING WHEN IM ERECT" HAHAHAHA TED LIKES TO BE A HIMBO THATS GREAT IS HE GOING TO KILL TED ?? AAAAAAAHHHHHH TED HE HAS A GUN PLZ DONT TEST HIM HE HAS ALREADY KILLED A MAN OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUCK RECAST???? WHO IS TAKING TED'S ROLE ????? OH SO ITS NOT OLD TIMEY AFTER ALL RED SOMETHING???? OH TED'S GONNA PROPOSE IS SHE GONNA SAY NO? SHES GONNA SAY NO RIGHT ? FUUUUUUUUCK HAHAHHAHA WHY IS HE NAKED ??? JAHAHHAHA WHAT WHAT IS HAPPENING TED WHAT ? "PROFESSOR SHOULD GO FUCK HIMSELF" HAHAHAHA PORNHUB PREMIUM ACCOUNT HAHAHAH "OOOoooOOoOoOoOoOohhHhhHh BUT IT IS" FUCK NO DONT KILL HER OOOOOOOOOHHHH TED'S DEAD SHIT OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH ROBERT'S ACTING IS *CHEF'S KISS* DAMN OH SHIT TED *NOW* TED IS DEAD FUCK HIDGENS IS HERE NOOOOOOOOOOO IS HE GONNA KILL HER ??? OH SHIT OH FUCK LUCY'S CAUGHT IN  A BEAR TRAP WHY ARE PPL SAYING WORKING BOYS IN THE CHAT ??? OH THATS WHY !!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHH MINE IS A LITTLE BEHIND IS SHE BROKE ??????? OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHA I KNEW IT HIDGENS GOT PLAYED THATS ON YOU BUDDY OH FUCK HIM UP LUCY ! BECKY BARNES ????? HATCHFIELD LORE ???? WAS SHE RUNNING AWAY FROM HIS HUSBAND IS THAT WHY SHE CLIMBED A TREE APE MAN SHOW UP PLZ WHO IS IT THO ?????? JEFF HELL YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK JESUS CHRIST APE MAN YEEEEAAAHHH WOOLY FOOT ?????? IS IT CHUMBY???? OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH HAHAHA YEEEEAAHHH HOW DID HIDGENS KNOW ????? OH IS IT OVER ?????? NOOOOOOOOOOOO I WANTED MORE ;-----; THIS WAS SO GOOD THO OOOHHH FUCK ANOTHER MUSIC NUMBER JAMIE YOU LOOK AMAZING !!!!!!!!!! I CANT WAIT FOR THESE SONGS TO BE AVAILABLR FOR US (IN LIKE 3 YEARS CAUSE IM BROKE SKSKSKSK) HE DANCES THE CAN CAN ?????? OKAY I SKIPPED A BIT TO BE ON TIME WITH EVERYBODY "ARE YOU FUCKKING HIGH????" YEEEEEEEEEAH PART 2 BABEY !!!!! NICK'S HAIR LOOKS AMAZING OMG OH ???????? BILL AND ALICE !!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD I MISSED THEM !!!!!!!!! OH THE TEEN ANGST I LOVE BILL SM HE'S SUCH A GOOD DAD DEB ????WHY WOULD U HURT BABY ALICE LIKE THIS ???? "I MIGHT NEVER SEE DEB AGAIN" GOD ALICE CHILL OUT LET HER BE A PLAY WRITER BILL CMON "MY BUDDY PAUL" AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH BLINKY ??? I DONT TRUST THAT AT ALL FUCK NO JOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHNNNN I DONT TRUST HES CHARACTER THO OOOOHHH LOVE DISCOUNTS I DIDNT LIKE THE WORKER CALLING HER PRINCESS THO, SHES BILL'S DAUGHTER NOT YOURS OOOOOOHHHHHH NO OH NONONONOONO BILL IS GOING TO DIE I JUST KNOW IT BLINKY IS EVIL I CAN FEEL IT ALICE NO NO LITTERING WHORE JAMES !!!!!!!!!! ALICE IS ALSO GOING TO DIE MAYBE RIGHT NOW WHO KNOWS BLNKY WTF SHE IS A MINOR WTF AAAAAH I DONT LIKE IT HERE JAMES ILY BUT THIS CHARACTER IS CREEPY AS SHIT I DONT LIKE IT HAHAHAH TIGHT LOVE THEME PARK STUPID SHIRTS "I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE FUNNY" HAHAHAHAH DROWSY TOWN ? THE CHAT PULLED MY ATTENTION TO THAT BUT I DONT GET WHY ? IS THIS BAD "I'D FOLLOW YOU ANYWHERE" THIS IS SUCH A DAD THING TO SAY OH ALICE CMON DONT SAY THAT BILL CUT IT OUT WITH DECIDING YOUR KIDS FUTURE THATS NOT FUN OH GOD I DONT TRUST THAT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO NO NO NO "AHOY BOYS AND GIRLS" NO NONONONONO UNCLE WILEY FUCK OFF THE SNIGGLES NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUUUUUUUUUCK NOOOOO AHHHHHHHHHHHHH "WE'RE THE SNIGGLES DONT BE SCARED" YOU KNOW WHAT SNIGGLES I AM SCARED BUT HELL YEAH SONG TIME OOOOOOOHHH FUCK IT UP JAMES OH ARE THEY GONNA LIKE GIVE THE AUDIENCE A SLEEP INDUCING DRUG OR SOMETHING ??????? "DONT BLINK" AHAHAHA I DONT TRUST THAT AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH "GREAT WE'RE DEAD" HAHAHAH THE SONG WAS A BOP THO "WHAT ARE THE SNIGGLES?" GREAT QUESTION ALICE "NOW U KNOW HOW I FELT WHEN I HAD TO SEAT THROUGH DEH" HAHHAHAHA "SEE U IN A SNIG" HAHAHA SNIGGLETTE ???U OKAY BBY??? OOOOOOOOHHH MORE SONGS HELL YEAH I LOVE ANGELA'S VOICE SM THE SNIGGLE PUNS ARE KINDA CONFUSING ME NGL WHY WAS THAT SO SAD OMG OOOOOOOH SHIT OH FUCK THEYRE GONNA KILL HER I JUST KNOW IT OMG "PRAISE THE WATCHER" OH MY GOD PLZ DONT KILL HER "UNTIL HE'S SEEN EVERYTHING" W H A T LAUREN'S VOICE SKSKSK SO CUTE PAPA SNIGGLE I DO NOT TRUST YOU THOSE ARE ALIVE ARENT THEY ????? OH FUCK SNIGGLETTE IS SHE OKAY ????????? "ANGELA R U ALRIGYT" WHAT "SHUT UP JEFF" OH MY GOD I DONT LIKE WHEN THEYRE SELF AWARE SKSKSKSK " U CAN SHUT THE HELL UP LAUREN" HAHAHAHA BILL OMG HE'S SUCH A DAD HAHAHAHAH ALICE IS SO NICE DO THEY NOT KNOW "ARON AROOON" HAHHAHA OH CHURROS I LOVE THOSE THE GIRL SHE DOESNT LIKE ?????? OH NON BINARY RIGHTS LOVE IT "IS THIS A FRIEND OF ZIGS" OH LOVE RESPECTFUL DAD DEB NOT COOL OH ALICE SHIT ALICE BBY IF SHES CHEATING ON YOU THATS NOT ON UR DAD STOP SHITTING ON HIM LIKE THIS "ITS UR MOTHERS FAULT" OH MY GOD HAHAHHAHA GREG AND ALISON ? AND BETH ?? DOES BETH LIKE HER ????OH NOOOOOO GREG NO U SHITTY SON OF A BITCH GOD FUCKING PUNCH HIM OH  NO HAHAHA FUCK NO THEYRE ALL POSESSED ARENT THEY THATS THE TEEN FROM THE MOVIE THEATER HAHAHHA "it lagged ;-; now we wait" A MAN IN A HURRY HAHAHAHHA OH SHIT BILL IS MAD IS HE POSESSED TOO ??????? OH SHIT WHATS HAPPENING BLINKY ????????? OH NO OH NO SHES GONNA HAVE A PANIC ATTACK THEYRE GONNA BE FINE RIGTH ??????? RIGHT ???? BREATHING EXERCISES BABY CMON OH NO PLZ DONT DO ANYTHING STUPID BILL NOOOOOOOOOOO BILL PLZ DONT DIE AGAIN I LOVE YOU SM PUT UR SEATBELT BACK ON PLZ NOOOOOOOOO OH THEYRE BOTH GOING TO FALL ARENT THEY OH NO OH MY GOD OH SHIT PHONE IS BROKEN OOPS AWN IM GONNA CRY PLZ LET THEM SURVIVE I BEG YOU NICK LANG OOOOOOOOH TWILIGHT BUT GAY I AM *HERE* FOR IT OOOOOH THANK GOD THEYRE SAFE THANK YOU NICK LANG BILL YOURE SUCH A GOOD DAD OH GOD SHIT ALICE CHILL OUT ITS JUST A PHONE BABE "SHE KNOWS IM WATCHING HER" I DONT TRUST THAT IS *SHE* POSESSED OR IS THIS JUST TEEN ANGST ALICE UR DAD IS TRYING HIS BEST PLZ CUT HIM SOME SLACK OH MARIAH TURNED HER CAMERA OFF OH DEAR GOD WHAT DOES THAT MEAN HAHAH I LOVE LIVE BLOOPS OH MY GOD BLINKY IS TERRIFYING FUCK NO DO NOT GET THAT WIGGLY JUNIOR BILL DONT HOW ??????? OH MARIAH IS BACK WHAT DOES THIS MEAN ??????? WHY CANT BILL GET THE MALLET THING DONT TAKE IT YES SMART LAUREN ? SKSKKSS WHAT MADAM IRIS I DO NOT TRUST YOU WHAT ?????? IS THAT ALICE'S PHONE ???? BILL DONT GET SCAMMED OH ITS AN ALL SEEING IPHONE ALICE CHILL PLZ IS HE GONNA DIE ????? PLZ NICK DONT DO THAT ALICE DONT DONT KILL UR DAD 49.95 AGAIN BILL PLZ TRY ANOTHER GAME JAMES DAMN THATS RUTHLESS BILL WHAT AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH IS THAT REAL ???????? IT CANT BE ??????? OH ITS NOT REAL ARE THEY MAKING THEM HATE THEIR FAMILIES AND KILL EACH OTHER ?? A TENDER KISS ON THE CHEEK FROM A DEMON HOW NICE GUYS PLZ JUST GO TO THERAPY I BEG U WHAT ARE U GONNA DO BILL? KICK HER HEAD ??????? (SORRY I HAD TO) BLINKY'S FUNHOUSE THAT SOUNDS WARM AND COMFORTING THIS IS LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF NOT UR SEED FIGHTING IN THE MIRROR PART OF A FUN HOUSE IS ALWAYS A GOOD HORROR MOVIE TROPE OH FUCK ARE THEY GONNA WAKE UP OH FUCK PLZ WAKE UP ESCAPE THIS ALIVE YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH OH SHES GONNA SHOOT HIM ISNT SHE ????? SHES GONNA SHOOT HIM I JUST KNOW IT HES AWAKE SHES NOT IS BLINKY GONNA KILL THEM ?? OOOOOOOOHHHHHH FUCK I KNEW IT OH HELL YEAH ALICE FUCK IT UP ARE THEY GONNA DROW ?? OH NO OKAY DID THEY SURVIVE ???? IS SHARED TRAUMA GONNA SAVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP SKSKSKKS THEY SURVIVED !!!!!!!!! THANK YOU NICK LANG (AGAIN) WAIT HOW DID SHE GET HER PHONE BACK ? OH MADAM IRIS DID GIVE HER PHONE BACK AWWNNNNNNNN ALICE THIS ONE HAD A HAPPY ENDING YAY WELL IG THE OTHER DID TOO BUT NOT FOR THE CHARACTERS WE KNEW

THIS WAS SO GOOD I LOVER STAKID !!!!!!!!!!! I JUST WISHED I WASNT BROKE SO I COULD PAY FOR THE NEXT ONES KSKSKSKSK WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU GUYS TO DO YOUR REACTIONS FOR THE NEXT ONES !!!

I HEARD GREG AND IT WAS CRAIG SKSKKSSK OOPS

*from this part on is reactions from after the show when starkid was answering questions from the chat*

YEEAAH VOTE FOR BIDEN HELL YEAH STARKID

"THE WITCH IN THE WEB" WEBBY ???????? DO WE GET TO SEE HANNAH AGAIN ?????

A THEORY ON TUMBLR FROM REDDIT ON A INSTAGRAM ACC ON YT OH MY GOD SKSKSKSKKS

THE STORIES ARE CANON !!!!!!!!! THEORIES LETS GO GANG

STARKID FANS WHO CAN DONATE TO STARKID PLZ DO I WISH I COULD DONATE TO THESE TALENTED PPL G O D

I WAS CORRECT IT WAS KONK WITH A K

NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE YES!!!!!! WORKING BOYS !!!!

"NICK LANG IS A BOSS"

MARIAH: SAYS FUCK AS ALICE ALSO MARIAH: GEEKED THE *FREAKED* OUT

TIP JAR HAS BEEN OUT FOR 11 YEARS HELL YEAH

HOW TF DO YOU SPELL ZIGGS BTW

OOOHHH THEYRE FAKE THAT MAKES SENSE OK NOT FAKE COMFIRMED BUT PROBABLY FAKE LETS HOPE DEB DIDNT ACTUALLY CHEAT

"WELL I WAS BORN IN 1989" HAHAHAHA

BECKY CLIMBED WHILE RUNNING FROM HER HUSBAND I FEEL LIKE THATS WHAT THATS ABOUT

OH GOODIE I GET TO WATCH THEM LATER IDK WHEN BUT AT LEAST IK SOMEDAY

BLINKY VS WIGGLY

OH CMON NICK I WANTED TO KNOW ;-;

THIS WAS SO NICE I MISSED THEM ;-;

[ultraklll]

Tony Miller as a Gun For Hire! Tagged by the lovely @envyfelled ! Ty! This was super fun! Also, I'm on mobile, so sorry for the garbo formatting! (Fun fact, tonys voice claim is laura bailey as fiona/fem!boss)

Paired With Fangs For Hire:

Boomer - "Heya buddy!" followed by excessive scratching behind the ears | "Fuckin' love this dog, can sniff out a peggie like shark sniffing out blood. Good trait to have! Awfully convenient too…" | [patpatapatptpataptap] | "Atta fuckin' boy Boomer!" When she sees him get a kill | "Who's a good boy! Who wants to kill some cultists!" | "Wanna play fetch? Rip out their necks?"

Peaches - "Good girl…" | stealth gang stealth gang | peaches: mows down peggies/tony: a baby!" | "I jus' think it's funny that when we went to the Henbane, we picked up a cougar, Addie, an actual cougar, Peaches, and joined a crew called the Cougars… Just'a thought," 

Cheeseburger - "This reminds me'a Vegas pride, saw plenty'a bears there too" | "Kinda ironic to find you in Jacob's region, all things considered," [snickers to herself] | [PATPATPATPATPATPAT] | "Get outta my pockets! These snacks are mine, not yours!" | "You remind me of those like, beware of dog signs, but the dog is always a sweetheart who'd rather play with a home invader rather than attack them," 

Paired With Other Guns For Hire:

Jess - stealth gang stealth gang stealth gang | Jess has a MASSIVE crush on Tony. Everyone can tell. Tony knows | jess: guns are fucking lame and the sniper rifle is the cowards weapon/ tony: uses a sniper rifle/ jess: actually sniper rifles are cool as fuck | "Good shot Jess!" "S-shit, um, thanks, Tony," 

Grace - sniper gang sniper gang!! | [steals a headshot Grace was lining up] "Cmon Gracie, thought you were meant to be Olympic level!" | highly competitive, do a shot whenever they get a perfect headshot to die instantly | smug top solidarity | also heavily depressed solidarity 

Adelaide - [acts like she's not sleeping with her nephew even tho Addie knows she definitely knows] | Tony is either constantly laughing or constantly face palming over the shit addie says | have gotten into an argument once bc addie said john was a top 

Nick - "What's up eye in the sky?" | [flirts over radio] [flirts over radio] [flirts over radio] [fli | Nick: speaks/Tony: god I just love the way you fucking talk | often talk about kim together | "Can we have a barbecue at your place once these fuckers are dealt with?" | [pretends not to be bitter the Deputy got to help deliver Carmina and not her]

Sharky - "Heya baby!" | [constant back and forth flirting. It's embarrassing] | any second they're both not talking is a second they're making out | Can and Will go john wick on some peggy ass if he gets hurt badly | "Do you wanna have a sleepover?" "Lemme ask my momma," | she calls him Charlie :> | loves him so so much they're just constantly talking about anything and everything | literally like A Comedic Duo. Have together for certified funnies

Hurk jr. - "Junior! This'll be just like Kyrat!" | competitions about who can shotgun a beer faster every 4 seconds | WILL tell you stories about their time in Kyrat together | Tony has punched Drubman sr in the nose before and she'll do it again | "Hey Tony? You still in contact with Ajay?" "He sends me a royal postcard every now n' then. Apparently it's boring being king, and his only solace is that his new bodyguard is cute," 

In Combat: 

Seeing an enemy - "Fucker in my sights," | "I got a bullet with your name on it… actually I don't, who the fuck has time to carve names in bullets, but you get the idea- im just gonna shoot you now" | "You're dead on arrival, shithead," 

Sneaking - "You'd think me sneaking is counter productive because I'm 6'4 and have a very loud gun, but you're the boss Dep," | "Shhhh… we're huntin' shitheads… Heard it in a game," | [shoots alarm boxes] "You ain't allowed to call your friends, you're all grounded," | *peggy triggers alarm* "Fuckin snitch!" 

Killing an enemy - "SKULLCRACKER!" | "I just don't miss!" | just fucking headshot after headshot after headshot | [sucks in breath through teeth] "God damn I'm good," | when shes not using her Wifle (wife rifle, a 45/70) she's being FUCKING EFFICIENT with her ak-ms or just blasting ribcages open with her shotgun

Reviving - "Up you get, baby," | "You ain't dying on me that easy, Dep" | "Not today Satan!" | "You gonna let some unwashed asshole kill you?" 

Hurt - "Motherfucker!" | "That's another scar I'll tattoo over," | "Thank god people find scars sexy," | "God fuck that's smarts!" 

Downed - "Dep! Give me a hand?" | "Clean up on Aisle 4 needed!" | "Don't worry about me, just bleeding out over here, no rush," 

Revived - "Drinks on me when this is over Dep," | "Thanks babe!" | "I'll kiss you when we get outta this mess," | "I owe ya!"

Driving: 

Entering a vehicle - "Lemme take over I'm a way better driver than you," | "Floor it!" | "Hang on I've got a mixtape, just hope I havent fuckin' crushed it," | [takes the opportunity to roll cigs] | *peggies roll up* "Keep her steady!" [leans out the window and headshots the peggie on their ass, causing them to crash the car, like that isnt the coolest shit you've ever seen] "Aight cool,"

Reckless Driving - "Watch the fuckin' road asshole!" | [desperately tryna grip the wheel so she can take over driving] | "STOP THE CAR! I'LL JUST FUCKING WALK!" | "Are you tryna kill us?! Fuckin' swap seats now!" | tony is the designated driver bc one she's fucking good at it and two shes also a really bad backseat driver. Just let her drive 

Changing Radio Stations - "Now don't tell Charlie I said this but some of the peggies music is actually good,"| "John's a prick but his music taste is fuckin' good," | [punches radio in when Only You comes on] "...Sorry… Force'a habit…" | "Bold and brave my ass, John looks like he needs help getting spiders out of rooms and wears fuzzy pink bathrobes," 

Idle: 

"Man, John's a freak, and yeah I mean that in the sexy way. Someone who demands so much outward control whilst being a shithead little brat likes to get trussed up like a thanksgiving turkey and stuffed like one too. Don't give me that look Dep, I'm right and we both know it," 

"That dude Jacob ate was called Miller?? God, that could've been me if I was much older and way uglier!" 

"Faith just makes me fuckin sad man. She's been manipulated and groomed into this life by fuckin Joseph- she's so goddamn young too. I'm not gonna tell you what to do Dep, but that's just my two cents,"

"Joseph's the worst kind of man- a manipulator. He tells you what you wanna hear, targets the misfortunate who have nothing left to lose, builds a fucking army out of em. The other heralds I'm ok with arresting, but Joseph's got to go,"

[Lights cig with either her fancy lighter or by striking a match on the bottom of her shoe] "Don't start smoking, Dep,  bad for your health," 

Location Specific: 

Testy Festy Aftermath - [pinches bridge of nose] "Not again…" | "Anyone got a water and like, 3 aspirin?" | "Ain't the first time I've woke up passed out in a field, won't be the last," | "Did we at least get a photo from the night? I've won the competitions here for the last 3 years in a row now, I'm not fuckin missing one cuz of these peggies," 

Falls End - "Fuckin shame to see Falls End like this, but Mary May and Jerome will take good care of her now weve got it back, they always do," | "Think we'll get free drinks for life at the Spread Eagle when this is all over? Actually, we probably won't even get free drinks for week, so for life is wishful thinking," | she enjoys playing with the singing fish on the front of the speed eagle and keeps tryna convince Mary May to let her take it for herself bc tony goddamn miller has the biggest singing fish collection in the entire county 

Seed Ranch - *loud whistle* "this place is swanky as fuuuuck… Not that big a fan of all the dead animals though…" | "IS THAT WEED ON THE TABLE? Johnny boy you fuckin' hypocrite!" | "Oh he's definitely got a secret room behind one of these bookshelves, like a home torture room? Oh my God, what if he has more than one...?" [starts frantically pulling books off shelves] | regarding his shelves with peggie memorabilia [takes baseball bat to it] | [pretends she's never been here as she frantically stuffs any of her own belongings she might've forgotten here into her bag]

Entering the Henbane - "Don't trust a goddamn thing you see here. You think you see something you're not supposed to, hit it," | [swinging at bliss induced angel/animal/faith visions] | "Can we try savin' Faith? Don't feel right killin' her, she's so young…" | "Can we go to Sharky's place? I left some stuff there that could be worth picking up,"

Hope County Jail - "Sheriff Whitehorse has always been a good man to me, Dep. Would appreciate it if he lived through this," | "I always feel like a giant whenever I come here, everyones like 5'3. Virgil, Tracey, Charles, all shortasses," | "I think it's cute they gave you a little pin! You're part of their Pride now! Or whatever the cougar equivalent is to a lions pride… do Cougars even travel in packs? Aside from when Addie used take the girls out for drinks,"

Entering the Whitetails - "Always feels like something's watchin' you in these woods. Keep your eyes peeled," | "Always felt like there's something in these woods that there ain't supposed to be…" | [Shifting from foot to foot] "Can we get a move on? Aint'a big fan of standing around waitin' to get shot by some fuckin' sniper with a bow," | [watching Jacob's video punishing Pratt] "I'll fuckin' get you outta here, Stace… you just gotta hold out a second longer," | [about all the dead bodies and 'you are meat' graffiti] "Love what Jacob's done with the place," 

The Wolfs Den - "Eli Palmer is a good fuckin man. Kind, smart, careful and ruthless against peggies. We've made a good friend here, Dep," | "Heya Wheaty! Got a few more vinyls for your collection! They're all my own though, so be careful with em," | "I don't think Tammy likes you that much Dep. I don't think she likes much of anything anymore, other than attaching jumper cables to Peggy's nipples… Oh god, my piercings hurt thinking about it," 

Joseph's Island - [hand firmly on rifle grip] | "Creepy, evil motherfucker, had him pegged right from the start. Well, not pegged. I'm not pegging Joseph. I'd rather stick my dick in a ceiling fan then go anywhere near him- I'm just gonna stop talking," | "You know what? No one else has asked it so I'm gonna- where the fuck does Joseph sleep.  In the church? In one of these houses? In the dirt somewhere? What if he hangs upside down from trees like a bat?" 

[starwars2490]

random ep 8 thoughts

i love/hate these troopers, they’re fuckin idiots and mean but funny

IG’s on the warpath baby! You’re all dead now fuckers

fuck you moff gideon you creep how do you know their names !?!/

why is he giving them an option to surrender? is he just a dramatic bitch hoping they’ll pull some shit so he can have fun??? why? does he just like the idea of prolonging their misery?

Seriously hearing Dyn’s name from an Imp is traumatizing I feel sick

this flashback is too much, too sad god my poor boy

is..is that Death Watch??

yes dyn’s on the warpath too!! my idiot son picking up a freaking CANNON he’s so dramatic

god dont kill cara please no

baby yoda saves the day again so cool

You shot at dyn AND blew him up!!! How dare you!?!?

No! No dyn you’re not gonna die don’t say that

i can’t believe I had to watch my son almost die. leave my boy alone he just wants to save his little green boy!!! 

the bonding moment with IG! 

oh god it’s too sad the first time someone sees his face is when he thinks he’s gonna die. I think he just kinda gives up a little and also he probably cause he’s like “oh right droids aren’t people i guess it’s ok” (but they’re sentient Dyn they're alive you speciest(?) jerk

god he looks so sad and hurt and a little bewildered at being without his helmet 

the totally done look he gives when IG makes the joke like “ i can't believe i was wasting my dramatic flair on this stupid droid joking about brain damage”

nononononon his clan is gone

the armorer lives! i love her- this is your son now get out so i can go my job and also murder stormtroopers in the most badass way. goddess

i’m kinda afraid of the boat droid he’s too...long

Carga that's not how the force works even Cara knows that

stop trying to kill yourself IG! dammit Kuill’s already gone and Dyn almost died i can't do this

“I’m NOT sad” yes you are you, dumb boy, he’s your friend

IG is a hero i’m sad he’s dead

why is Gideon shooting them? does he not want the baby? wtf

Dyn’s badass jetpack yes!! 

Gideon’s so not dead his tie didn’t blow up 

no don’t seperate! cara please stay! give dyn friends faverau!!

aw, baby yoda wants his dad. and the way dyn stares down at him until Carga gets his attention and then he’s immediately like yeah nah man i’m a dad now bye!

the parallels between Dyn and his boy im gonna cry

oh baby yoda has the Mandalorian signet how sweet

fuck you Gideon that’s not yours!!! give it back you fucker. oh my god Dyn has got to kill this guy

[achieveandhunt]

live typing extra life 2019

part 2

warning: this was a mistake and i’m in the grapes

this starts right at Facilities vs AH. link to first post

let’s fuck some shit up babEY

oh what the fuck they’re playing a prerecorded video

last year was a fuckin doozy, nobody forget that

“legends of the under achiever” i didn’t know someone wrote my biography

why do i hear geoff screaming “FIVE FUCKIN FOUR” in my head, like in the legends of the hidden temple minecraft videos

jeremy looks. so dead inside on this fine november evening

ryan buzzing while they’re trying to explain the rules

my video quality went down so much that i thought i was watching someone playing roblox for a second

ryan “salty mother fucker” haywood has made a lovely appearance. he’s my favorite

michael and lindsay looking so domestic makes me so happy,, they’re my parents

someone donated under the name “ryan goes feral” uh??? yeah? you say that like it’s a bad thing??

oH FUCK MICHAEL GO DRIVE WIN PLEASE

jeremy HAS BROKEN OUT THE GLASSES SHIT’S SERIOUS

NO THEY’RE LOSING GOD DAMMIT

ʳʸᵃⁿ ᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵃᶜᵏᵍʳᵒᵘⁿᵈ, ᵠᵘᶦᵉᵗˡʸ: ʰᵉˡᵖ

JEREMY IT’S TIME TO TEST OUT THAT NONEXISTENT GAG REFLEX AND SWALLOW THE OPPONENT’S CONTROLLER

oh nvm they’re winning again lmao

OH FUCK thEYRE LOSING

oh nvm

OH FUCK

oh nvm they unplugged his contoller lol

OH FUCKING TH EY LOST MICHAEL JONES MY HEART IS BROKEN

the amount of people watching has gone up from 32k to 40k in the past fifteen minutes

michael “hurry up you dumb cunts” jones

“oh don’t worry about destroying our cabinet, it’s essentially matchsticks”

“how are you feeling john? are you ready for this?” “MM M M Mmm mM”

TEAM NICE DYNAMITE IS NEXT AND IM READY FOR PERMANENTLY RINGING EARS FROM ALL THE LEET DONATIONS

oH god here we go

“hopefully they haven’t been saving them all day” oh honey. you’ve got a big storm coming

if xavier slaps gavin i think gav might go up in a puff of smoke

i did the math, they went up 45k+ within five minutes of team nice dynamite showing up on stream

GAVIN AND MICHAEL ARE GOING TO DIE

THERE’S GONNA BE A MOONBALL SIZED HOLE IN GAVIN’S CHEST

ryan and lindsay both donating a grand during this segment... so good

the day gavin free successfully gets a tattoo is the day i drop dead

lindsay saying she didn’t want the TND tattoo on michael but she agreed because gav is michael’s boi :((( 

i’m too sleep deprived for this i might cry

oh god michael’s punching the floor

i’m too sober for this

EIGHTY EIGHT LEET DONATIONS IN TWENTY MINUTES HOLY FUCJKIGN SHIT YOU GUYS ARE GONNA BE THROWING MOONBALLS FOR FUCKIN SIX YEARS

on a sentimental note- i love how much collective love we have for gav and michael,, they deserve it all

milk boarded has some not-so-great connotations attached to it

gavin “the bullshit bitch” free

a mark nutt reference?? in my 2019 extra life????

this just in: sarah is going to obliterate gavin

oh. oh my god. that was the sound of a wet fish smacking a wall

why is jeremy the liquor goblin walking like a crab that has a bird attached to its back??? see: flapping arms

that beer and milk concoction... gag

“drink that milk yard”

“YOU GOT MY TOES MILKY”

no. nO MICHAEL NO YOUR INTESTINES NOO

michael “the milk’s in my brain” jones

“stop pouring it on people!” “iT’S HARD DICKHEAD”

lindsay is now. taking a milk shower

*caiti brings a small roll of paper towels* *gavin gently places a single paper towel on the massive puddle of milk*

no LINDSAY NO THINK OF THE CHILDREN

gavin: this has gotten way out of hand. she’s... she’s swimming in an inch of milk! everyone knows you should swim in at least two!!

the fajita seasoning will solve everythinG everyone calm down

fiona: yeah this is my first extra life. jack: and what were you expecting? fiona: this. exactly this.

ah yes. the bunny suits have arrived and michael is ready to tackle gavin

aaaand here comes the AH fanfic. it can only get worse from here so buckle up fuckos

“holy fuckeroni”

“re-reanimated trevor”

michael is so fucking smashed and god i wish that was me

“cum-ductor”

fiona “this is a white man” nova

“bone-ating” *leet donation* *leet donation* 

“ready set blow” made me genuinely bust a lung laughing

aaaand michael’s licking the floor which is to be expected

jeremy “i’m gonna actually harm you” dooley

IF ONE MORE PERSON BRINGS UP RANCH IM GOING TO WALK TO AUSTIN AND PROJECTILE VOMIT ON THE OFF TOPIC SET

no JEREMY NO YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE I THOUGHT YOU WOULDN’T DO THIS GET OFF THE F  L O O R

don’t get close ups on jeremy’s tongue. don’t do that to me. i don’t want nightmares

“fuck root” “let’s just fucking fuck”

1 2 3 CONSENT

michael has gone full gerkie

alfredo’s look when larry is reading the part about trevor choking him is how i feel about everything that’s happened in the past twenty minutes

almost 300k in less than an hour 

fiona saying “i don’t want this” overlaying michael humping a trash can

“TAKE THE TACO CHAD”

aaaand michael’s in the trash can

nO why is there a triangle is this a POETRY READING ALL OF A SUDDEN

oh thank god it’s over

OH FUCK THERE’S A N EPILOGUE

aaand trevor’s dead again. poor treyco

DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS EVERYONE PUT A CUP IN YOUR PANTS

people singing along... what goes on

why am i downloading this fuckin song asap

jeremy turning his phone flashlight on and waving it like he’s at a concert god dammit i love these people so much

those are my BOYS

oh my gosh they’re still singing the song. why is my heart so happy from this i need to get slapped

“come on you’ve never been waterboarded before gavin?”

everyone standing in a circle shining their flashlights at gavin

someone surprise them and instead of a moonball just yeet a whole gallon of milk at them

actually, on second thought, no

OH god GavIN Is GOING to Die 

gavin “i forgot to breathe” free

several milk explosions

gavin “my brain is cold” free

michael has milk dripping from his ears

i’m about to pass out i don’t know what’s happening

michael is in the grapes right now man

how many moonballs? oh, only 107. :)

i’m not writing this part- you guys have to watch the moonball segment yourself, if you didn’t watch it live!

team nice dynamite finishes up with over 300k!! holy shit, that’s so cool! this community is awesome

werewolf is up next!

xavier is such a gentleman can we keep him

alfredo: *chooses to kill miles* trevor in the audience: *silently freaking out*

xavier is about ruin another man on stream

miles has no self preservation instinct

barbara is now smelling fiona

this just in: i love alfredo and 100% would have done the same thing

trevor running up to film alfredo getting smacked. what an icon

alfredo SCREAMING oh my god i felt it in my soul

the high-five of the backs in solidarity of intense pain

miles choosing alfredo is so fucking good

and also, i feel so bad 

his heart might shoot out of his asshole this time guys

oh NOOO HE’s so bruised :(((( fredo nooo :((

oh my god it’s gotten to the usual point in the stream where you start to question whether someone is going to die this time

rip blaine but at least i think he can take the hit

he can but ouch it still hurts me 

barbara “i’m participating in the game” dunkleman

yo miles might win this game

the crowd when someone needs to shoot barb: TREVOR TREVOR TREVOR! trevor, with the strength of a thousand suns: N O

people are now chanting about shooting an unprotected trevor. the man already died once this stream god dammit

alfredo is about to throw hands for fiona

that’s a big F in the chat for miles, but his loss is well deserved

xavier’s hands could serve as a defibrillator

alfredo showed jeremy his chest and jeremy shied away as if he was looking at the sun

 --- i’m taking another break to finish an assignment---

i’m barely alive and it’s ready set show time 

oh god please no more shock collars

i’m so fucking tiiiiredd please take thge res t of this post  wigth  a grain of salt lbecasue i can hardly type at this ponitn 

“do you want to control the shock collars” “will there be repercussions” “no” “fuck yeah i’ll do it then”

“smother the children. steal the baby” “DONT STEAL THE BABY TREVOR”

lunging forward “s c a r e  t h e  b a b y” “OKAY I’M PASSING THIS ONE”

“you can’t bake popcorn????” jeremy hits the floor

alec and matt clearly = dream team

oh thasnk god the shock collars are on their arms now i was stressed out for chris earlier

this stream does not promote recreational nyquil usage 

i don’t even know how to explain the pure insanity of what ready set show has become

alec has become this whole segment

i would write more but i have no thoughts because my brain doesn’t work

larry “makes people fuck other people besides their wife” insert last name that my brain can’t come up with

anyways. marbles

oh. no marbles

i’ve blacked out idk what happened during backwardz compatible

i mean i was awake but does that really mean anything at this point

SPPOKU PSOOKY SPPOKKKY SPOOOKY !!! FUCL YEAH 

cole is so good during this segment

oh so many 1337s right away 

the real scariest thing during the segment: being genuine

oH my god the scream being pitched up. i have fucking dogs outside of my house now

i don’t fuck w/ ghosts no thank you

“aba-jail” wow if u guys weren’t gonna get haunted before you will now

okay i’m about to pass out i have to take a nap

oH fucking I SLEPT until thirty minutes before the en d  fuck

conclusion: this community is incredible and raised an unimaginable amount of money for charity. the fact that rooster teeth does this every year is awesome, and honestly, it makes me feel hopeful in times when things aren’t so great. so yeah! for the kids & stuff 

[florida3exclamationpoints]

Hey fam here's a deep dive of AoS 7x04 including justification of the time travel by a branching timelines believer and lots of Peggy Carter love & appreciation

I definitely feel better about this whole situation now that we've seen 7x04 than I did when we just had the preview. But still. Ughhhhhh I'm just. Conflicted.

They're not sticking to Endgame's time travel rules at all and ik some people didn't like Endgame's time travel but I don't really have issues with it. And even still there's the debate of whether or not Steve (does this debate expand outside Steve arguments? Idk but you get it) is in a branched timeline. Personally, I think he is. For people who think he's not, Shield's time travel, especially with Sousa, is probably easier to take. But for a while I was willing to go with the theory, my own theory idk if it's been mentioned here or not, that since they're using a different time travel method in AoS, and one that was invented by space robots Chronicoms, then they have different rules that limit them to a looped timeline. But now, idk does bringing Sousa into it disprove that?

So he was supposed to die. That's in the history books. They saved him. Which means we're in a loop that can be altered. Ok fine, but that's only because we're using Chronicom time travel. Tony Stark time travel still created branches. So what branch are we in? We have two choices right? Timeline A, which we see throughout the entire MCU, and timeline '49 B, the one Steve created when he went back to Peggy. If it's in the history books that Coulson and the team read that Sousa died, I would assume we're in timeline A. But where's Peggy? Personally I'm not the biggest peggysous stan (basically I ship steggy and in timeline A where she can't get him back, as long as she's happy I'm happy. If that means Daniel, great.) but I'm sure those who are aren't super happy with Shield basically confirming that they didn't make it. I'm sure the only reason they did that was to be able to pull him out of 1955 so I'm not really mad at it. If they had just had him pop in real quick in the 50s and left him there I would have rathered they leave it ambiguous but since that's not what they did I'm not too bitter.

Anyway, I saw a close up of the fake id they made for Jemma when she was undercover as Peggy. It listed her rank as 'agent.' You could say that's a prop mistake but I also noticed that no one has referred to her as 'director.' But she absolutely should be. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Peggy was the first director right? That's always what me, my brother, and my dad, aka everyone in my household who are Marvel fans, thought and we're pretty sure they said it at some point somewhere. And in the Agent Carter one shot (which admittedly has a lot of continuity issues anyway but i think the principle of it stands) Howard said about Peggy "tell her she'll be running Shield." I've always gotten the impression that she was director from the time Shield launched. If someone could give me solid proof that she was or wasn't I'd appreciate it. But as long as there's no proof I'm assuming that she was. That's what I'm going with in the rest of this post anyway lol.

Overall im just confused as to what the writers think they're doing lol. From what I've seen, they started shooting season 7 two months before Endgame premiered so it was written even further before. That sucks because at the time of the writing they didn't know they had all of this to deal with. At least I assume they didn't know bc it seems like there's no communication behind the scenes since no one got dusted before and now we're messing around with time travel. But I also wonder if Endgame hadn't premiered by the time they were shooting the 50s episodes. I have no idea though. If it had, were there changes? Did they have to take out mentions of Peggy, or did Enver maybe act it with the Steggy ending in mind? Because I personally don't want the writers or anyone thinking that Steve was always in a loop therefore this season is jumping around in the same loop and Daniel was left by Peggy for Steve. I can deal with a looped timeline in AoS bc of the Chronicoms and them being in a loop of timeline A but I'm gonna be annoyed if they try to imply that that's not what's happening. But again it was written before Endgame came out so I don't think they'll really go that far.

This is what's really annoying me. Do they seriously think Peggy's not director? Are they saying Peggy's not director? Because they want me to believe that Daniel noticed that Shield had been infiltrated by Hydra and Peggy didn't and then one of three things happened. 1. He told the CIA but not Peggy, 2. He told Peggy but she didn't believe him, or 3. He told Peggy and she looked into it but didn't find anything. I take issue with like all of that. In scenario 1. Daniel Sousa personally knows the Director of Shield and, regardless of any awkward breakup they may of had, doesn't tell her that her government organization may be hijacked by freaking HYDRA? In scenario 2. The Director of Shield is told by the Chief of her LA branch and an agent that she worked alongside for a considerable amount of time that her government organization may be hijacked by Hydra and she doesn't listen to him, because, what, they had a messy breakup? In scenario 3. The Director of Shield, Margaret Elizabeth Carter, has reason to believe that Shield is infiltrated by Hydra, she investigates, and finds absolutely nothing out of the ordinary? None of those sound even almost reasonable. So are they not mentioning that Peggy is director because it makes Daniel's storyline more believable and convenient or am I missing something? I've lost hope that she might make an appearance but I'd appreciate some Director Carter content even in passing mentions or at least tell me who the Director is if it's not her.

Also, Daniel's death, real or not, is gonna hurt her really bad and I'm not a fan of that. I'm glad I didn't have to watch him die and I'm excited to see more of him but it's really gonna mess with Peggy. We've already seen her struggle with feeling like everyone she gets close to dies and even though at this point she's married and maybe has kids, that doesn't take away from what they had in Agent Carter, that goes beyond the romantic and into the fact that he was one of the few men who showed her even the smallest amount of respect. It's gonna hurt her and I don't like when she's hurt. Also also, I don't care about whatever Coulson said about his death being ruled an accident, Peggy is a critical thinker and 100% would have looked into it. Especially as the Director of Shield if I keep saying that maybe AoS will hear me or it'll become canon lol she wouldn't let that slide.

Basically what I'm saying is: I can talk myself into the time travel making sense, I just did lol, but while I love Daniel and getting to see him again and continue to see him in the coming episodes, it stretches the imagination a bit too far concerning Peggy and his dynamic with her. Either that or I have to be to ticked off at the writers for not knowing that Peggy is director in 1955. Or I have to be ticked at the entirety of Marvel for not making Peggy director as soon as the thing was up and running. But. That doesn't mean that this hasn't been a good season so far, it's been pretty great. And I'm very excited to see them in the 70s. And to see Daniel in the 70s. And to see my man Enoch make another appearance. I have my issues but I'm still highly enjoying all of this absolute tomfoolery sldjskdjksksjk that is all

[twilightofthe]

Chapter Four liveblog of The Mandalorian!  Let’s go!!!

This title is just “Sanctuary”, it bothers me that this one doesn’t start with “The ___” like the other ones do ;p

Fish shrimp things!!!

Aww village!!!!

Oh no this is too peaceful when are they gonna get attacked

Aaaand there go the birds 

What’s coming?

Surprise surprise bad guys

Pirate raiders of some sorts

Clever mom, tho I’m guessing she’s gonna die

Oh they look like Tolkien orcs

Oh boy Mando Man’s gonna come save them!

BABY YODA IT’S BABY YODA

LOOK AT THEM PRESSING BUTTONS

CUTE BABY I LOVE THEM

Man-dad-lorian: “stop touching things”

LITTLE SHIT TOUCHED SOMETHING AGAIN I LOVE BABY YODA

HE’S HOLDING THEM OH MY GOOOOOSH LOK THAT’S ADORABLE

HE’S TALKING TO THEM

US

LITTLE WOMP RAT

THIS IS IT I HAVE DIED.  TOO CUTE.  

FAR FAR FAR TOO CUTE IMMA REWIND AND WATCH THAT WHOLE THING AGAIN

I MELTED

HIS VOICE IS SO TENDER

L I T T L E  W O M P  R A T

I wanna marry him, I just adore how he talks to the baby, this is killing me

Jeez look how much I’ve typed and we’re only 5 minutes in

BABY VOICE.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE HIS BABY VOICE HOW HE SPEAKS TO THEM

Ok ok ok I’m done

NO I’M NOT BABY FOLLOWED HIM

GAHHHH LOK AT BABY TODDLING ALONG

Mmm that kebab looks pretty good

Hey shiny butt you stick out like a sore thumb

THIS EPISODE WANTS TO KILL ME THAT IS A MOTHERFUCKING.  LIVE ACTION.  LOTHCAT/TOOKA.  RED ALERT.  RED ALERT.  HOW DID THEY KNOW I FUCKING LOVE LOTHCATS.  THIS IS A PERSONAL ATTACK

I’M SUING

Oh hey it’s pretty girl!!  His girlfriend!!!!

Or she’s gonna be his girlfriend anyway.

She’s so pretty!!!

Awww boi’s asking about the pretty girl xD

Wait so this dude doesn’t eat in public when does he eat

LOOK BRO NICE STRANGERS DO NOT NECESSARILY MAKE GOOD BABYSITTERS NO MATTER HOW FRIENDLY THEY SEEM MR CHILD ENDANGERMENT

Ok Mando Man absolutely has to have some Force Sensitivity, I’ll bet money on it, the way he just senses stuff about her.

Awww love at first kick

Yo she’s beating up on Beskar pretty well noice

BRO WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND FLAMING PEOPLE

THE FUCKING BABY SLORPING I’M WHEEZING

YOU WANT SOME SOUP?

THAT’S IT THEIR NEW SHIPNAME IS SOUP BUDDIES

So she’s a mercenary

“Another round” ohohohoho ;) ;) ;)

Awww poor dudes do want him to help!

Space krill?  Huh

Oh yea guilt him over it he’s a real softie xD

Theeeere we go

MORE FLIRTING

Ohhh she’s ex-shock trooper

I get you Baby Yoda, I third wheel a lot too

Oh yeah us too kiddos we all love the Babu

Awww he’s so polite <3

...uuuuuntil he scares a ten year old nice going xD

THE MUSIC IS SO STAR WARS-Y

ALERT ALERT THE BABY HAS A CRIB I’M DYING

Oh!  She’s feeding them/him?  I’m mellllllting!!!

CONCERNED PAPA ;_;

Oh so he does actually wash his hair thank goodness Pedro is too pretty for greasy helmet head

Oh nvm he must be so pale under his helmet xD

Oh wow so he wasn’t an official Mando until he was taken in there goes my theory

HELMET! IS! OFF!

Wait which ones are the AT-ST’s again?  Are they big big ones?

C’mon lady a bunch of Ewoks beat a walker before, give ‘em a chance!

“Unless we show them how” ah so this is another Seven Samurai-inspired ep like that one TCW one, RIP Kurosawa

Yay Home Alone booby traps!

OH YOU GO LADY SHOOT EM

See Anakin, it is actually possible to teach a bunch of villagers stick fighting without twirling it around like a showoffy dumbass xD

omg I’m so freakin’ proud of these people already

Wait oh nooo I kinda ship Mando Man with village lady too hlep

OT3 TIME YEET

Aight ppl let’s get em

Ooo what’s cookin’?

So these bombs make music huh?

Yussss kick ass babes

OH JEEZ THAT WALKER SCARED ME IT LOOKS LIKE A DAMN DEMON

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S ASS SHIT WHAT THE FUCK EXCUSE ME

Baby Yoda Will Protect The Children

Ugh The Cinnamontography

It’s actually like an old monster movie I adore this

And of course it’ll miss the trap

Yep there it is

Wait is that thing fucking sentient

Shit it is

IT’S AN ACTUAL MONSTER I LOVE THIS IT’S LIKE JURASSIC PARK MEETS PIRATES

Hmm a Jedi would be useful for dealing with the walker rn

Take out the legs

GET ‘IM GIRLIE

Oh I think brave village lady is gonna help get it

“Choke on this you ugly-”

Got em!

Gah I loved everything about this episode

Look out froggie Baby’s gonna eat ya

Yup

No!  Don’t bully Baby out of his food!!!

She’s so considerate of his culture I love this

DON’T YOU LEAVE BABY ALONE HERE MANDO MAN

Hmmm someone’s a little interested in Mando Man’s love life... >:3

GOD DAMN IT MANDO MAN NO I KNEW IT

DON’T LEAVE YOUR BOY

NOOOOOOOO

Can’t believe I’m saying this, I feel atrocious, but as long as there’s bounty hunters after Baby, Mando Man has to keep him!!!

Awww honey no they can’t be together but now I’m sad this lady deserves all the happiness ;_;

Oooooof ouch secondhand embarrassment rejection oof oof ouchhhhh

OH NO THAT SNIPER BETTER NOT SHOOT HER

STAY AWAY FROM BABY YOU FUCKING SHIT

Ok phew phew he’s fine

THANK YOU SO MUCH ROGUE LADY I’LL MARRY YOU

Guess Baby just has to stay with Mando Man for a bit! :D

Isn’t her name Cara or something?  I like her ^.^

Awww kiddo, I’d miss Baby Yoda too :(

Oh honey I’m sorry your mans is leaving, I’ll marry you instead!!!!

Awww wave bye bye!

Bahaha here I was comparing this to Jurassic Park and freaking Bryce Dallas Howard directed this ep, omg I love her

This ep was amazing yus

So I loved everything about this episode because I am ridiculously easy to please and I love the old samurai flicks and I love monster movies and the Clone Wars ep (why the flying fuck can’t I remember the name it was the one with Obi + Ani + Ahsoka on Felucia with the farmers and then Hondo fuck what was it called) that went kinda like this is one of my favorites and gah merc lady! (Cara?  Her name is definitely Cara, right?)  Omg I know we haven’t gotten any info on Cara yet, but I love that she’s got some softness too, that she doesn’t fall into the new “Strong Woman(TM)” trope where a woman can have no heart and must just beat up and shoot stuff and look hot while doing it.  I’m super excited to see more of her!!!

Just overall, great ep, loved it, can’t wait for more <3

[umikawa]

Pumpkin

Pairing: Maria Hill x Reader

Warnings: Mentions death, smudge of angst and a tiny suggestive part.

A/n: If you're wondering all of my imagines are for female readers. I deeply apologize for the males who really wanna read these. It's jokey with a touch of serious. This is literally so stupid I HALF ASSED THIS. There's a quote from the office :)) Soft maria uwu. I love Maria and she's underrated in my book so if you know any Maria imagines TELL ME i need some. Definitely not proofread.

Your pov

You get hurt come see me

Her words rang my mind, not surprising though. Steve's pep talk was just terrible, you get hurt? Hurt em back. You get killed? Walk it off? How do i walk off death? The better pep talk should've been like, Try not to die you've got someone waiting at home for you, or something like that. These were some weird thoughts going on because you were currently ripping a robots head off.

'Y'know I'm kind of tired of the whole post apocalyptic series we have going on here.'

'Y/n just kill the damn things.' Steve yelled over to you.

'I wouldn't say we're killing them. More like destroying.' You remarked.

He didn't answer so you just continued slicing the heads off with a blade your lovely little pumpkin gave you. Everyone was inside the little chapel thing, in the center was the supposed key of extinction. Ultron was floating right outside and Thor stepped up,

'Is that the best you can do!' He yelled. Ultron put his hands up and in came, a bunch more robots. You groaned and slumped your shoulder, Steve turned to look at thor and said,

'You had to ask'

'This is the best i can do,' he said gesturing to the many robots, 'This is exactly what i wanted, All of you against all of me. How could you all possibly hope to stop me.' He finished.

'Well, like the old man said,' Tony started, making Steve glance back at him, 'Together.'

And that my friends is how all hell broke loose. Hulk roared, bots were coming in, your stomach was growling, not fun at all. You all were fighting, you were slicing robo heads off like it's nothing, Thor was whacking them with his hammer, Nat was shooting and tazing, Clint was shooting arrows, Steve was... Being Steve, Tony was doing the same, Hulk was... Jeez hulk is tearing them apart. This went on for a while, up until Steve started talking.

'We need to clear out, i can tell the airs getting thin. I'm going to look for stragglers, You three get on boats.'

'What about the core?' Clint asked

'I'll protect it' Wanda intervened causing Clint to look at her, 'It's my job.' Clint nodded his head and went out.

'Uh what about the big guy?' You reminded as you saw him try to attack some of the bots.

'Romanoff, lullaby' Steve ordered. She ran off leaving you two, and Wanda standing there.

'Y/n you get on a ship, Maria would want you in one piece.' He said.

'Oh yeah i know she does, but does she listen to me? No. Do i listen to her? Yeah. So yes i will get on a boat ship thing, but not cause you told me too because Maria did.' You explained pointing and poking at the air. You walked off muttering poud enough so they could hear, 'Be an Avenger they said, it'll be fun they said.'

'Don't mind her.' Steve reassured Wanda then left. You ran to the ships but you heard a little boy, you looked around and saw him struggling to get up. You ran over to him and pulled him up,

'I got you kid, i got you. Hold on okay?' The little boy nodded and you held him close. When you started going towards the ship you heard rapid firing, you looked towards and saw Ultron shooting in the quinjet. You looked down to the kid then back to Ultron and pressed your comm,

'Hey, I love you guys.' You said

'Y/n? Y/n what happening, what are you doing!'

You turned your back just as Ultron started firing at you. The firing passed and you felt... Nothing, no pain. You looked to your left and saw Pietro, covered with Bullet holes, and he fell. You set the kid down and knelt down to Pietro,

'You didn't see that coming.' He whispered.

'Oh no you aren't dying yet.' You said. You put your hands on his heart and felt you powers doing their thing. You had healing powers, not sure how you got them but when you got a cut it would always heal on spot. You heard him suck in a deep breath before coughing. You collapsed next to him feeling to weak to even sit or hold your eyes open. You heard footsteps running towards you guys,

'What happened!' Steve yelled. That was the last thing you saw before... Darkness.

Maria's Pov

When they brought everyone to the air ship i was only looking for one person, Y/n. I saw Steve carrying someone in and the med team putting them on a gourney and i jogged towards them to see if it was Y/n. But before i got there they started rolling away,

'Steve who was that?' I asked.

'It was Y/n.' He said with his head down.

'What happened to her.' He didn't answer. 'Steve what happened to her.'

'She was trying to get a littlw boy back to his mother. Ultron started shooting towards her and the kid, Pietro saved her, but died i guess. She resurrected him and it drained her, she's still unconscious.'

After he finished talking i took a step back, i ran to the direction of the med bay. I looked left and right to find her but i couldn't, i did the logical thing and asked where she was and they said she was in a room. When i got in speedy and his sister was with her.

'This is my fault.' He said. He was looking at her while holding his sisters hand.

I walked over to the side of the bed where they weren't occupying and sat, 'I don't think so. You shouldn't blame yourself, that was her choice i know it.' I said looking at her pale face and moving her hair out of her face.

'How?' He asked.

'She's the type of person who's willing to sacrifice herself for others. I got my firsr glimpse of this when she took a shot to the leg to save a kid. She's reckless but she does it for a reason.' I explained.

Your Pov then it just goes random

It was still dark, i couldn't see anything. Am i dead? Wait, do dead people breath? What the hell is that beeping? Oh wait, beeping. That could only mean one thing, a hospital. I slowly opened my eyes but was only blinded by a bright light.

'Jeez turn the freaking brightness down jesus.' You groaned out reaching a hand to soothe your eyes. You heard people moving and a chair scooting.

'Y/n?' You knew that voice, it was your lovely little pumpkin. You opened your eyes and saw the twins and Maria. You smiled at her and said in a cheerful tone, 'Hey Pumpkin.'

'You're an idiot.' She said crossing her arms, standing up in her disappointed pose.

'But I'm your idiot' You said with a lovesick smile. You turned your head to the twins and smiled at them. 'Hey there kids.'

Wanda smiled at you, while Pietro stood with Maria. 'I agree with her, you are an idiot.'

You scoffed, 'Okay, wow thank you so much for saving my life Y/n i owe you, oh no prob Pietro just wanted to get you back to your sister. Jeez guys i don't need a thank you sure. Just insult me for trying to do something right.' You ranted, turning onto your side facing away from them, tears starting to prick your eyes for no reason. Wanda saw and looked towards you,

'Can i speak to her alone please?' Wanda asked. You heard them walk out and shut the door. She scooted over to you and smiled, 'Hi, i know what you are feeling. You feel guilty but content with what you did. May i ask why?'

You turned onto your back and stared up st the ceiling, 'My best friend, back before i joined shield, was killed by some freak. I tried to do the same thing i did for Pietro but it didn't work, i always feel bad that i couldn't bring him back to his family, to his wife, his kid. So when i did it for Pietro i felt happy that i brought him back to you, i feel guilty because i couldn't do the same for my best friend, and because that if i didn't make it... I'd think that i disappointed my friends.'

Wanda sat there in shock, she could see that you were replaying the day your best friend died over and over in your head. She saw the tears rolling down your cheeks and how you didn't even bother to wipe them. On the other side of the door she knew that they heard her story. There was a knock on the door and it opened, in walked Maria with no facial expression painted on her face.

'Can i... Can i have a second with her please?' She asked. Wanda got up and walked out and shut the door. Maria sat down on the bed and took your hand, 'Why didn't you tell me.'

You used your free hand to wipe the tears from your face, 'I didn't think it was important and i didn't want you to worry about me, you have a lot to deal with.'

'You know half my worries are about you.' She said rubbing her thumb against your hand

'Thanks? I think.' You said confused.

'No im serious, i worry about you a lot because i care about you a lot. Because i love you... A lot.' She admitted.

You reached your free hand up to cup her face, she leaned into your touch and you smiled. You brought your foreheads together and kissed her nose lightly, 'I love you too Pumpkin.' You brought your lips to hers, her soft lips tasted like strawberries. But like all sweet sweet moments, they have to end.

'Yo L/n that was pretty dumb- Oh yeah get some!'

'Tony i swear to god you are such a fu- freaking annoying little shit!' You yelled

'You love me.' Tony sassed.

'I'd love you if you stopped walking in on us.' You complained. He blew you a kiss and walked out. You brought her lips to yours again, but before you could taste them someone walked in,

'Aghhh!! Im gonna kill myself!' You yelled, 'I'm gonna kill myself and it's your fault!'

Director Fury stood there in shock, blinking or winking? 'Wow' he deadpanned, 'Well i guess you don't want to be bothered right now so I'll leave.'

Maria blinked at you, 'Did you just get Fury to leave?' You didn't answer, you smashed your lips onto hers and felt her sigh into it. She pushed you down to lay and swept her tongue against your bottom lip, before she could do anything wink wonk someone had to walk in,

'Oh my god! Can you fu- Oh hey doc!' You corrected yourself. The doctor chuckled and shook her head,

'Ms. L/n I'd ask if you could do that when you get out in a few minutes instead of on our clean sheets.'

'Oh dang Pumpkin hear that? Keep it in your pants!' You chidded.

Maria facepalmed and looked at the doctor. 'You see what i have to deal with.' She nodded her head and handed Maria a release form. You tried ro reach for it but she held it away from you, 'No.' You tried reaching for it again but she hit you with it, 'Y/n, No! You are not in the right mind to fill this out.'

You crossed your arms and tilted your head up, 'I bet you, you can't fill out that whole form without asking me for help. If i lose i will give you the sexy times, if i win you will give me the sexy times.'

'You are worse than Tony.' You gasped and put a hand on your heart, 'You take that back!'

'I'm sorry i can't hear you over me winning this bet.'

You raised your eyebrows, sat up and put your hand on her thigh, 'So you do want me to give you the sexy times?'

She swatted your hand, 'You're obnoxious'

You laughed and fell back, 'Love you too Pumpkin. Hey did you know that-

'I'm gonna stop you before you say anything, and i finished the form.' She interrupted. She leaned towards you and took your bottom lips between her teeth before going to you earlobe, 'I want the lacy black lingerie.' She whispered into your ear. She walked towards the door with a sway of her hips,

You grinned, 'Oh yeah baby!' You threw the sheets off of you and ran to the bathroom with your clothes. When you finished changing, into your zip up hood jeans vans and Maria's T-shirt, you ran out of the room and saw Maria walking off. You ran towards her and smacked her butt, 'I'll meet you at home Pumpkin!' She watched you run off to get home as soon as possible and continued waking. Steve walked up to her with a confused face,

'What was that about?' He asked.

'She lost a bet, so she has to do something at home before i get there.' Maria explained. Steve nodded his head understanding what your bets were like. Maria continued walking, a little faster than she expected, maybe because of what was going to be waiting for her at home.

Masterlist

[yoshimickster]

RWBY Volume 6 Episodes 12/13 “Seeing Red” and “Our Way” Micksterecaps: TWO RECAPS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO doggie, youse KNOW I can’t wait to talk about the finale, so you get not one but TWO recaps! Also doing the same thing with Gen:Lock as they released the first two eps of that on the same day-EITHER WAY LET’S GET TO DANCIN’!

THE EP STARTS OFF WITH-

-the ARGUS MILITARY-watching their boss waste military hardware, while being away from their FREAKING STATIONS-where a threat the Colossus was MADE to fight is coming close to the city. ALL WHILE RUBY-

-HANGS-in there? EH?! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEH?!

After a nice little cliff climb, Oscar informs the team that the shields go down EVERY time Cordo fires missiles, which is the time to STRIKE! Ruby while on board-DOES-point out the difficulty of it though.

Ruby:-I’d have to be practically staring down the barrel of her canon.

FORESHADOWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

Ruby than jumps onto their legitimately stolen airship, while Maria does what she does best-

Maria: HEY CORDO-your mother wears NON-combat boots!

Cordo: SHUT UP I HAVE ALL THE MISSILES!

SADLY-though-

-sheeeeeeeeeeee catches on.

*BANG*

*TING*

*CLOSE*

Cordo: SURELY you know Atlas perfected missile launcher door quick-closing technology!

Ruby: BITCH YOU GOT LUCKY AND YOU KNOW IT!

Cordo: FUCK YOU I HAVE A LIGHTNING CANON!

OOH-and she WINGS them even, DAMN that’s gotta smart!

OOH-spoke too soon, Maria got the worst of it! MAN-that’s gotta sting.

Looks like its up to farmboy to SAVE THE DA-

*CRASH*

...EH-he’s a 14 year old farmboy, did the best he could with no fly knowledge or help (WINK).

See that? A NICE clean crash, Launchpad McQuack would be proud!

Ruby realizing how fucked things are, decides to pull a make or break move-RIGHT BEFORE-this scene-

Qrow: Ruby, stop!

Ruby: I need you, to trust me.

And he then lets go of her hand. Its a small yet powerful scene, and I really loved it, just wanted to point that out.

Ruby then makes a passionate speech to Cordo about how they only stole from her because she gave them no choice, especially since their supposed to be on the same side, and hopes she listens to reason.

Cordo: Hm....

Cordo:...NAH-I’ll just kill you.

CAROLINE CORDOVIN FOLKS-the defi-NITION of excessive force!

But does THAT scare Rubelubes?!

FUCK NO-she dashes herself RIGHT in there! SEE-foreshadowing!

She sees the target-

-LINES up the shot-

-while Cordo reevaluates recent life choices-

-gives herself a nice SNIPER breath-

-SHOOTS THAT FUCKER-and with-in a SECOND-

-PETALS HERSELF AWAY! Ace huntress right here! ALL right before-

-THAT FUCKER GETS CRYSTALIZED-good on you Ruby!

OOH-still got that aftershock crackle though! Thankfully Weiss uses her reverse gravity glyphs to slow her down ‘cause she’s a GOOD girlfriend, either figuratively OR literally(Bumblebee is canon fo sho, but STILL not sure on Iceflower, BUT still hopeful).

Qrow then catches her, and Ruby smugly replies with-

Ruby: ...toldja.

Oh Ruby, you SASS!

End the scene with a bit of Maria sass-

Maria: OH-don’t tell me I MISSED it!

AND CUT TO OUR FAVORITE NEW POWER COUPLE!

7:25

BEHOLD the holding of the hands, FEEL the gay energy it creates, while pissing off Blake’s creepy predatory ex, who was probably a creepy senior like Daniel Tosh when they started dating and needs to die(WINK).

Blake then says she and Yang are gonna KICK HIS ASS, because she made a promise to stick with the people she cares about-PROMPTING ADAM-to say this-

Adam: Y’know, she made a promise to me once, that she’d always be at MY side. HA-and look how well she’s kept it.

Your ex likes girls dude, GET OVER IT!

Either way it prompts Yang to say THIS badassery:

Yang: Did she make that promise to you? Or to the person you were PRETENDING to be?

Fuck yes. Either way, time for talk is over-ITS ACTION SCENE TIME-

-OOH-start out with a splitscreen, NICE!

Blake and Yang keep hitting him from both sides-

-and uses her shot-gauntlets to get distance, as a STRATEGIST does!

Blake goes in on the offensive, but ADAM ATTACKS-

-HER SHADOW-because he keeps forgetting how her semblance works like the dirty bitch he is!

Blake somersaults over him-

-KICKS-him back in the best pic I could get, because it happens in like a MICROSECOND-

-to a Yang Xiao Long that’s RARING to go with her shaunt-gauntlets-

-AND YANG KNOCKS HIM BACK...trust me, she did, this fight has a LOT of quick action and getting the pics I want is a nightmare.

The battle is INTENSE y’all, either way Blake gets ENOUGH distance-

-to get her partially broken gunsword back-

-tttttttttttthrows it over to fuckface magee-

-OOH-but he blocks it, no goal for you Blake-BUT-

-YANG GETS CONTROL OF THE BLADE-they may just make this count-

-she flings her over withe classic “infinitely stretchy band of stretchiness” to INITIATE-

-BATTLE CLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH-but WAIT-

-OOH-knock back on both sides-

-Adam lands on his feet while Blake-

-OOH-she got crackle folks, we’re nearing the endgame (copyright Marvel studios...nah just kidding, RWBY’s a DC property). It ALSO almost knocks her off the cliff-

...I feel there’s a joke about a cat poster I can make here, but I’m not sure if right now is the right time to say it.

Yang is of course READY to save her-

-WHILE giving Adam an obvious deathglare for obvious reasons(MURDER HIM).

SADLY though Adam uses his greatest power of all-

Adam: MOMENT of truth Yang, do you think your faster than you were at Beacon?

*GASP*

EMOTIONAL manipulation( MURDER HIM, MURDER HIM). ALSO-sorry for the arrows, they wouldn’t go away and I couldn’t edit them out without ruining the gravitas of the shot.

Then a punch, A KICK, Yang’s on the ropes, will her aura hold out? CAN BLAKE HANG ON?!

OOH-apparently she can! MAN-the endurance these young women had, she lost a forcefield and now she’s climbing a MOUNTAIN, made of STEEL that one!

Adam than acts like the most OBVIOUS psycho-ex ever-

Adam: What does she even SEE in you?!

Yang: A person who doesn’t let their psychological baggage be an excuse to be an abuser!

Blake: Someone in my own age group who isn’t a creep who peaked his senior year of High school!

Adam: YOU SHUT UP I’M A PERFECT SUNFLOWER!

Adam then uses MOONSLASH on Yang but if you don’t know our girl-

Yang: Gotcha.

-you’d know it’d be NOT very effective y’all-SUPER SAYAIN YANG ACTIVATE!

FUCK YEAH-punch him OUT!

-AND HE GOT THE CRCKLE Y’ALL-its aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallmost over!

OOH-but so does Yang, BUT she’s got his sword so ADVANTAGE Bumbleby!

EITHER WAY-everyone’s running on fumes, its SUDDEN DEATH SMASH TIME Y’ALL!

And dear lord...its amazing-

-Yang THROWS that shit off a cliff-

-Adam goes after it-

Blake: SHURIYUKEN!

Yang: Wait I saw you climb UP the mountain, how’d you get back there-

Blake: WHATEVER-let’s kill this guy!

She sees the broken sword at her feet-

-she grabs ONE half-

-Yang graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabs the other-

Yang: RAH!

Blake: EYAH!

YANG/BLAKE USED DOUBLE STRIKE-

Adam:...oh-

*SPLASH*

-and its SUPER effective-CRITICAL HIT! RPG BUZZWORDS! AND THEN BUMBLEBY-

-gives themselves a tender cry scene while both promise to be there for each other. DAMN that was a fight scene, emotion, action, DEATH, I love this show!

Blake: *SNIFF* I just really really-REALLY-hope he stays dead!

Yang: Don’t worry, he can’t get maiden powers so he’s gone for good.

Blake: I love you babe.

Yang: I love you to.

A THEN CUT TO-

-CORDO-dealing with the consequences of her actions in MORE ways than one!

Nubuck: HEY UH M’AM-

-Godzillallegory is on the horizon- 

- and it brought a BUNCH of friends, we could REALLY use the giant Collossus mech made SPECIFICALLY for fighting giant Grimm!

Cordo:...I am SO fired.

AND THAT’S ep 12, SEE YOU...in 2 SECONDS for the next Micksterecap as this is a DOUBLE feature!

The FINALE starts off WITH-

-with a VERY nice airship! Look at that woodwork, now THAT is craftsmanship! The ship opens TO REVEAL-

-NEO-and her SNAZZY new look! Look at that jacket, just FULL of snazz! SPEAKING OF SNAZZYNESS-

-HOT DAMN-I never thought wearing a cape the wrong way could look GOOD but Cinder proved me wrong! After the minor fashion show-ITS SHIP SHIFTING TIME!

Cinder:(DAMN I am im-PRESSED by this, SO glad we’re friends now!)

We get it Neo, your semblance is OP, QUIT SHOWIN’ OFF!

Either way, our girls are looking fly as hell and are READY to fight Team FWBYQOMJNR....NEXT volume. Yeah, turns out it was one of THOSE build-ups where its for next season. I know, I’m pissed of too.

But enough about that-A CUT TO-

GOJIRA-slowly making his way to Tokyo bay to REEK ATOMIC TERROR!

This is the time when one could REALLY use a giant robot with a laser canon-

-if not for the fact that a senile old racist wasted it on minor offenders like a crazy person.

After the team realizes that they had a SLIGHT hand in ruining Argus’ defenses against a kaiju level threat, they decide to FLY OFF! Right before CORDOVIN-

“This is YOUR fault, your fault....

....your...fault”.

-ADMITS her own guilt in this to herself! Didn’t expect character development from her, NOW all she has to do is apologize to Blake for casual racism and it’ll be AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL good!

MEANWHILE-on the ship-

-Blake apologizes for her psycho Ex stalking them, ALL while only her, Yang, Nora and Maria(off panel) are sitting down. YOU ARE IN A PLANE-I do not believe that they are hogging all the seats!

Despite the obvious chaos, Maria basically suggests this-

Maria: Okay...what if we just BAIL?!

Everyone:...

Maria:...YEAH I know, gotta be superheroes and what-not, I just REALLY want Cordo to die.

They then all decide to get up close and personal with the thing, Ren and Jaune plan to do their combo move a.k.a. the ONLY semblance Jaune will boost this season-BUT THEN-the monster resurfaces!

*RESIN COATED GLOVE AGAINST A BASS GUITAR!*

Look it up bitches. Its ALSO at this point that Mrs.Terra Cotta-Arc-

-regrets recent life choices that inadvertently lead to her brother in-law and his entourage to destroying Argus’s last defense...also what’s up with that girl in the background? The one with the diamond logo and the bare mid-riff? She a superhero or something? If so...GET TO WORK-there’s a monster to fight!

AW-she’s there for her family and...I’m sorry I just can’t get over that background character’s design, I mean LOOK AT HER-does she have ANY hips to speak of?! I know its just a background character, but STILL bad design.

BUT LUCKILY FOR ARGUS-

-THE SHIELDS GO UP-which I’m sure won’t be damaged at all!

SEE-look at that, COMPLETELY impenetrable!

BAM-even blocks the beast’s elemental attack, NOTHING can break this shie-

*BOOM*

...w...WAIT A MINUTE-the SHIELDS are impenetrable but the pylons MANAGING the shields AREN’T?! That is...a HUGE design flaw, DAMMIT CORDOVIN, this is what you get for spending your defense budget on your Gundam hobby!

This is when everybody just wants to get the HELL out of there but Ruby calls it in-

Ruby: EVERYBODY-me and my scrappy team of rogues is gonna take on that beast, we JUST need you to back us up!

Nubuck: UH-no thank you, we’re nameless soldiers in a fantasy story, WE KNOW what happens to us in this situation!

Either way Ruby is ready to use her magical laser eyes to slow down the beast, by her OWN dang self!

Ruby: Fine, we’ll do it alone if we have to.

Ruby: Let me repeat, I-A SIXTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL-am going to fight a monster ALL by myself...with NO military support...alone.

Look at Cordo, see the GUILT emanating from her!

Either way the plan is set-SUPER TEAMWORK COMBO-

-EMOTION MASK TIMES TWO! Seriously, the ONLY semblance he enhances this season.

They then fly undetected through the chaos while ONE plane gets hit! Exactly ONE...no lie, maybe this army isn’t as bad as I thought if only one plane got knocked down so far.

After just NARROWLY avoiding the blast-

-the beast takes out the SECOND barrier due to the worst design flaw in the world-

-DESTROYING THE TOP TO EXACTLY ONE BUILDING! DAMN-lucky Argus, this is a generally destruction free monster attack!

OOOH-but also RIGHT at the moment Ren and Jaune get crackle, CLOAKS DOWN PEOPLE-cloak is DOWN!

But have no fear-OUR LEADER HAS A PLAN!

Weiss:...giant bee?

Ruby: GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIANT BEE!

Yang: You rang?

Blake: Oh YOU!

Nora and Yang give cover fire while Blake just...stands there, because her weapon broke. Hey, sometimes your ex smashes your gun-sword in half, it happens.

SEE BLAKE-you just upgraded yourself to Weiss...holder, way to seize the initiative and HOLD THAT WEISS!

Ruby: I know this is stressful but riding a giant bee is still FREAKING AWESOME!

Nora: I CALL NEXT!

Yang: Aw man, I wanted to fly next.

Qrow: QUIT YAMMERING AND KEEP SHOOTING!

Rubalubes than squares up with the great beast and then-

-STARTS A CLIP SHOW TO PSYCHE HER POWERS UP! She ALSO-

-throws that PESKY earpiece RIGHT into the ocean...because turning it OFF is impossible apparently(freakin’ Atlas tech, TOO many design flaws). Either way-CLIP SHOW TIME!

What NICE memories, nothing that would trigger feelings of doubt which would mess with her hea-

SHIT-memories of the dead almost girlfriend-SHIFT FOCUS!

YES-memories of the vomit boy-FOCUS ON THAT!

Nooooooooooooooooooo-

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

Focus focus focus FOCUS!

NOT ON THAT!

NOR THAT!

Stay calm, STAY calm-

-AND she’s boned.

Ruby: DAMMIT silver eyes, WORK WHEN I WANT YOU TO WORK!

The beast is in her sights, her powers aren’t working, only ONE thing that can save her now!

Ruby: JINN!

*SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW*

Yang: Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuubyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

DEUS EX MACHINA-because TELEVISION! Also really wish I could show the illusion of time slowing down better in simple pictures

Pouty Jinn is pouty. Either way she tells her that she’ll only allow her to summon her this this ONE time without asking a question.

Jinn: I must admit, this WAS clever.

Ruby: Heh, yeah, to be FAIR I wasn’t sure if you ACTUALLY slowed down time, or if that was like a “Bill Cipher” style illusion, but yeah I’ll have a real question next time.

Either way-CLIP SHOW RESTART!

Time re-starting is ALSO hard to show with still pictures.

*WAVES MOVE SLIGHTLY FASTER*

You enjoying this so far? You COULD be re-watching the show instead of a slow clip-show of it but O-kay!

Yes, GOOD memories of Pyrrha, GOOD ones!

*MORE SUBTLE TIME RESTARTING*

OH YEAH-she’s still in front of a monster! DAMN-that’s a good timestop, full on ZA WARUDO!

That’s right, good memory of Penny, DON’T PSYCHE OUT!

And just when you thought they weren’t gonna hit us with a feelsbomb-

SUMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER! ALSO-confirmation that Ruby knew what her mom looked like, I wasn’t sure as she died when Rubes was REALLY yong, either way HUZZAH! ALSO-this shot-

Summer’s eyes-

RUBY’S EEYS!

“THERE’S A LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT THERE TO SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE-

- “ AND ITS POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWER IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!”

Bless you Casey Williams, BLESS you!

Look at the well designed background characters being showed off by Rooster Teeth, THEY ARE PLEASED! Also, look at that glasses wearing mother fucker in the purple jacket, he a WIZARD or something? We coulda used a WIZARD y’know, just saying.

Nubuck1: YEAH-that girl we refused to help stopped the beast!

Nubuck2:...are we terrible at our jobs?

Nubuck3: Just shut up and keep cheering!

Ruby then marvels at the site of a major city that SURVIVED a kaiju-class Grimm attack for once-BUT ALL IS NOT WELL-

*CRACKLE CRACKLE*

*ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!*

Ruby: DAMMIT-I meant to fire DISINTEGRATING beams, not FREEZING!

Maria: I now, its LITERALLY the most fickle super power.

But worry not-FOR ALL IS NOT LOST!

Cordo: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE I COME, TO SAVE THE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Ruby:...okay, thanks for the help, but HOW did you rip your mech’s arm off?

Cordo: HM?! Oh nothing fancy-

Cordo: JUST A BAD ASS DRILL THAT I WILL USE TO PIERCE HEAVEN!

Ruby:...why the HELL didn’t you use that on us before?

Cordo: Honestly I forgot it was there...as well as SEVERAL functions on this mech. Really I shouldn’t be in charge of anything.

Either way-

-she drills the FUCK out of that thing! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH SPINNING!

Man, that’s some NICE dusting! 

Once again, the background characters are pleased, including lady hipless over there! Oh lady hipless, I will NEVER understand you.

And even 2/3rds of the Cotta-Arc household are completely enjoying it, while Terra is REALLY hoping this mess won’t come back to her.

Ruby then thanks AND apologizes to Cordo because she’s a NICE young lady, while Cordo gives her team the go ahead to fly out tho Atlas. DOESN’T make up for her mean comment to Blake, BUT progress is progress.

A THEN CUT TO-

-BEAUTIFULLY PAINTED CLOUDS! MAN this show loves to show off and I LOVE IT!

INSIDE the ship-

Ruby’s mentors give her WELL deserved props and Qrow celebrates BY-

-NOT drinking! GOOD ON YOU Qrow, PROGRESS!

D’aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw.

The mentors than have a NICE quick moment.

Maria: For a depressed drunk, you make a great uncle and huntsman.

Qrow: That is...LITERALLY the best compliment you can give me.

Speaking of sweet moments-

FUCK YEAH-hand holding! Now let them KISS dammit!

ALL WHILE-

-RUBY deflects praise like a body does, EVEN points out how Oscar landed a clean crash...OR DID HE?!

Oscar: I...DIDN’T land the plane on my own.

YUP-Ozpin helped him, in a scene that’s BASICALLY this-

Oz: The force Oscar, USE the force!

The team briefly discuss the fact that their creepy wizard principal is most DEFINITELY spying on them before Qrow points out-

THE UNIVERSITY OF CAROLINA IN THE SK-I mean-THE CITY OF ATLAS! Anyone...old enough to get that reference? Scott Pilgrim? Its a story about a guy who dates a 17 year old, dumps her for someone cooler, and we’re supposed to see him as the hero? WEIRDLY good read despite the what the synopsis will make you believe.

We also briefly see-

-THE UNDERCITY OF MANTLE...which...looks like its near an active volcano I think! NO WAIT I see, that’s where the floating city came from...still feel BAD for the poor people of Mantle though.

Either way, they get up there and EVERYTHING is fi-

-ZOOP military blockade, never mind. And we end the adventure of Team RWBYQOMJNR with a MYSTERIOUS line-

Voice: Manta 5-1, welcome home.

Oooooooh, Weiss is in TROUBLLLLLLLE!

And that’s it for them, credits start rolling-NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVERMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE- and then a we get a TEASER because Joss Whedon!

Mercury: I like being depressed in here, it makes me look DEEP!

Emerald also walks in to slightly foreshadow her defection from the Legion of Doom but notices how FREAKED he is...why?

Cause Salem’s making flying MONKEYS that’s why! We ALSO-get a Hazel cameo!

Hazel: There’s an old saying, if you want something done right-

-do it yourself.

WELL-team RWBY’s boned. EITHER WAY, a fantastic season, personally I feel episode 12 had better finale energy than episode 13, BUT outside of a malfunctioning force field still good. I’m also KINDA mad that Neo and Cinder, and pretty much EVERY member of Salem’s faction didn’t get many times to really shine, BUT there’s always next season! 

AND WITH THAT-I’l see you either next season of RWBY, or on my Gen:Lock recaps on MICKSTERECAP! Peace out folks.