#im gonna change this in the morning lol
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day 4 of @foxquinweek with the prompts after the war and night on coruscant
it's not quite after the war, but they're just on the rooftops, imagining what it would be like without the war what they could do after the war.
#The buildings are a little ass im rushed guys#im two mins away from missing the day so imma add the details in a bit#im gonna change this in the morning lol#foxquinweek2023#commander fox#quinlan vos#star wars#clone wars#nhyhu.art
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its official !!!
#camera talks#we got the certificate late last night and my mom showed it to me this morning#im totally crying#im so happy#im so proud#god im struggling to put words together honestly this is crazy#i know ive been posting about it a lot sorry but its such a dream ?#if i could go back into time and tell my past self we were going to get to change our name i think he'd cry too#we didnt think we'd get to until we were eighteen at least tbh#i keep tearing up every time i look at the certificate lmao dear lord#this is too much to be happy about at 8:40 in the morning but <33#and i still have to go to work today gah </3#also thank you to everyones super kind words last time i posted about it. yall are so cool and sweet mwah <3#anywayss#we're gonna get a cake lol
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I will be forever grateful i can be on this new med. it's one a lot of folks also need and can struggle to have access to! It's important i be on it, especially if i start doing any vid collabs
(some of which, really, all of which, i unfortunately actually need to cancel that were in the preplanning stages, bc the election results have me wanting to wait and see how the general atmosphere of the country is before i agree to meet up with anyone. I feel bad for cancelling, but also i just can't know for sure how safe things are/might be going forward and I'd rather avoid the potential of. ya know. various not great things that could happen at a meet up, tho i would certainly hope they wouldn't. i don't feel like actually addressing them rn, u guys know what i mean)
That said, if the truvada initial side effects could fuck off asap would be so lovely. three weeks at worst, then they should be gone/much better or so i am told. really hope that's true bc losing my mornings to being dizzy and nauseous is Not Working for me lmao. im on week two, and now understand why my new doc said to call if i needed any 'cheerleading' and support to get thru the side effects, bc apparently she's done that for several ppl to make sure they actually make it thru the three weeks and keep on it (lovely of her!!)
#text post#not going to get into the other painful smack of this morning#suffice to say that medicaid does not in fact fully cover vocal therapy/training for trans ppl#even if ur docs feel incredibly certain it is#if i was making a decent bit over minimum wage at consistent hours and already had my current debts paid off mostly#then I'd happily consider paying the chunk Medicaid won't cover but as of now#it would literally be basically two paychecks if not three to cover the estimate for this first visit#and that's only if the poll would have us polling every week like we did before the election#otherwise we're guesstimating it would be upwards of 4 paychecks to cover it#I'm actually gonna get into in here bc nobody reads all my tag essays (fair valid and correct)#im really sad abt this. my voice gets me clocked a lot and while i can mostly handle like. visually being clocked#my voice giving me away genuinely makes me feel a pain in my chest. i can't get my customer service voice to go lower yet#and even if it's my usual voice I've made minimal progress on my own self done vocal study stuff#so like. no one knows how high it was compared to how it is now tho so no one actually hears it as anything near deep#which it isn't but like. there's been a slightly barely there drop of it per at least a couple ppl in my life#i was probably going to be able to learn how to sing again and find my new range. I'd fix my customer service voice#even if it would only ever be a teeny bit lower than how it is now. it would be lovely#im not gonna get too down tho bc someday hopefully I'll be able to make it happen/afford it#and for now...im doing the bad thing of not cancelling the appt yet#i will bc they're booking out for months and it isn't right of me to take a spot i know i can't keep#but. let me pretend i can for another day or two. maybe until monday. then I'll call or msg them on mychart#and let them know i just don't have the funds rn tho i do deeply appreciate that Medicaid at least pays part of it#im just not at a point where i can cover the rest but that I'll reschedule/have a new referral sent whenever that changes#...and hopefully things in this country will be of such a state that such care is still available to ppl like me.#but that's all we're saying on that bc im already having a pathetic little cry over this#(im fine the med side effects have me crying over everything lol i see a sad commercial and Instant Tears like someone died lmaooo)
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It took me, ugh, MONTHS (2), to get to cleaning the two shrimp tanks I have... I had IRL issues going on that would have made it extremely difficult to do a water change especially while injured, and I just had to keep putting it off. It's just shrimp, so it wasn't like, the worst situation, especially since I have established plants and the tanks are a couple years old. There was just a lot of algae build-up on the glass, and, well... Let me just say it was not contributing to my mental health and well-being while the tanks were in that state.
I tested the water before I started cleaning and the parameters were fine (like, I could have left the tanks even longer if I would be okay with selling my soul to the Algae Collective), and the plants and shrimp look fine, too (I mean, I've obviously been keeping an eye on the tanks bc I sit right next to them). Actually, I'd wager to say that the plants are looking really great (the lilies haven't died off [yet? This is the longest period of time I've seen them stay... foliage... fol... foliated? Idk.] and the cryptocoryne in the 10gal is fucking huge and needs to be rearranged, just not right now). That fucking algae was a motherfucker to get off the 10gal (it's a plastic tank and I think that makes the algae grip harder than the glass 5gal).
[Also, fyi, depending on the tank's needs and stability, recommended water changes are a small one every week or every other week. My parameters don't seem to do anything dramatic, so I usually aim for a 20-30% water change every third week (just depends on how much vacuuming needs to be done and how cooperative the shrimp are with moving aside). So 2 months is still a lot. I still did the normal 30% ish amount, since doing more will risk the shrimp's well-being if there's a sudden change in everything, and my water parameters indicated a change was unnecessary - but I don't test for more than the minimum freshwater tests, so there could be a buildup of some mineral I'm not testing for, which is why the change IS actually necessary regardless of what my test kit says - because these tanks were evaporating a lot in summer, it condenses the minerals added with each water addition, even tho I usually top up with R.O. water.]
My back is fucking killing me lol. It has been killing me since spring when it 'went out' for the first time, and I'm not getting any relief, it sucks. But this had to be done.
The 5gal is looking pretty cloudy still, since the filter was super gunked up and I accidentally spilled gunk back in, so I may need to retest the 5gal parameters tomorrow just to make sure I don't have to do another water change, but it'll probably be fine, right? Shrimp love mulm and detritus. I did give both tanks a big ole algae tab for their trouble, tho. (I need a fuckening dish for the big tank. I really wanna clean off that white quartz rock again, but being white means it's an algae magnet, and it's just gonna go green again after a month or two.)
Anyway, shrimp tax:
I lov thees widdle oange bebies.
Wish I could take better pictures rn, but I am. Like. Dying. My recommendation: never live in an A-frame style room if you have the option. The wall above my tanks is slanted, and NOT fun for my back to bend underneath the wall for maintenance. (My only flat wall in the room is for my TV/PC.) Also, treat your back nicely, in general. I unfortunately have not had the option to treat my back nicely since spring (fall now), because 'when it rains it pours,' and heavy shit that needs to be moved will not move itself. Once I get a few more things in my room in order, I will hopefully be done with the IRL chaos, bc I have Halloween socks to knit, and I'm not putting that off for another year. (I'm still mad that I couldn't make the ones I planned last year. And I found more Halloween yarn I forgot I bought, so I'm gonna try to make multiple socks.) And I just really need to fucking chill and knit and stop having panic attacks and meltdowns.
#me earlier today: oh i should bleach my hair since i havent been able to shower for 2 days it wont damage it as much#me now: i dont know if i can even stand long enough to shower after this#anyway im gonna try to eat something and then shower and pass tf out.#maybe i shouldve taken a before picture to show how much i did...#...but i do Not want to remember 'that one time i didnt do a water change for 2 months' the algae was gross lol i couldnt even get it all#but honestly idc ab the back wall having algae as long as the front and most of the sides are clear#seriously the algae was textured like sandpaper tho. does algae do pearling? if it does then its calcium buildup too#edit while typing bc i looked it up. yes algae pearls. so the bubbles it was making were drying enough to cause calcium deposits#oH also lmao i found the tiniest pinch of hornwort left in the 10gal. idk why the hornwort doesnt like that tank but its hilarious that...#...that one little fingernail sized piece is still alive floating in there. i stuck it next to the lily but the shrimp will prob dislodge it#the hornwort in the 5gal is just freefloating i cant get that shit to stick#the shrimp love that stuff and they look like little birds in a pine tree#im in so much pain im procrastinating food lmao 'order pizza' crossed my mind but my jaw wont let me eat pizza so fml#anyway. just wanted to show an accomplishment even if its not a praise worthy one since i didnt go the extra 10 miles to water change sooner#awwww tho i love seeing them glide around the tank and now i can see them clearly its so chill#shrimp#aquariums#crustaceans#bugs#Cori.exe#Post.exe#Image.exe#also my therapist started cracking up this morning when i said like 'i can finally rest now tht i dont have a Saw trap bathroom to navigate'#seriously tho it was bad and then another issue in the bathroom came up 2 days ago but theyre both fixed now. my br is normal now.#im not normal tho (normal for myself i mean) and unfortunately thats not gonna be an easy fix but im trying#man can i ever make a post where i dont type a million words lmao. inability to focus and then i start typing more stuff#oh ab the hair bleach man my roots are so dark i just trimmed off the last of the bleach from last time so i got 2tone hair rn#idk when ill get to that. dependsnon my back. i already wasnt in a great state of being when i did the aquariums but i needed to clean them#ok i rly need to try n make food and shower before i start growing algae on myself
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#i am at my fucking limit lol#i need to leave this fucking town and this fucking state the very second i can nail down both a car and a remote job#the fucking ''''affordable'''' housing company i rent from has once again opted to start harassing us#and we're once again gonna have to be in a fucking fight with landlords who think that we're making too much money to live in a $1200 apt#and want us to pay $2000 a month for this rathole we live in despite taxes and deductions literally absorbing a quarter of our earnings#so they want to absorb half of what we have left when ive yet to be able to even afford a car that isn't a fucking beater destined for scrap#at least not without using p much all of my current life savings in the process#so we have to instead get around by buses that refuse to actually show up take us on huge detours for no reason have lead feet that-#-exacerbate my chronic pain and - oh! how could i forget? is also horrifically mismanaged to the point where they're now canceling entire-#-bus routes including the one i take to work and ALSO GOES TO THE AIRPORT lol#and nothing will fucking change about the highway robbery rent hikes bc the entire state legislature is filled with and bought by-#-landlords NIMBYs and property management firms.#that's not even getting into the fact that ive got too many traumatic memories too many enemies and not enough good things to show for it#the only thing I've got in this fucking town is my partner bc not even our home can be considered safe anymore.#i want to take them and the home we dream of and get the fuck out bc i can't keep doing this shit#and i can't even fucking talk to them about this bc they need me to be the strong one for once#im so tired. i feel like im in danger even though i know we'd be able to tank the hit to our finances. but i would like to escape.#i know of a city in ny where our $1200 rent is considered the norm. there's also so much more to do within reach that isn't just. drinking.#i wanna go there. i may have had a desire to live there since our vacation there this past March.#but for now im stuck here dreaming of the future and fighting off desperation and despair in the present#this breakdown brought to you by: the bus purposely avoiding my stop this morning after learning my landlord wants to ruin us again#vent
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lemme put it this way
im not mad if oc drops the title at some point cause obviously thats inevitable. hes already been the champ for so long so its happening sooner or later and i will accept it come the time no matter who or where
however. my issue with this is that i need it to have a story. i dont want this 'oh i challenged you a day before and won the title yay' stuff, i want them to actually fight for it. write up for something for oc to lose more than just a title, something for his challenger to win more than just one title match they randomly got
like no offense to any challenger so far but it just needs to be more than that you know? Like i get that this is being built like a workhorse title rn but it needs something more if its going to change hands, or its not going to feel like anything with the new champion to me. you know what i mean?
#also yes this is why kip challenging was such a big deal cause they actually built that up#hell at this point i'd say give it to garcia hes gotten story bits down with oc with him it could actually change hands#i just. want it to mean something. idk if this makes sense but to me just title changing hands based on just a random challenge is just :|#even swerve had like something going on tho minimal. same with buddy#there needs to be a story at this point if theyre gonna make cassidy lose or its not gonna mean anything. at least not to me#im just rambling now my head hurts i need to sleep#i'll deal with this one when we get there. so sunday morning for me lol. cheers#wrestling musing
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hi im venting in the tags don't mind me đ
#i've been having a decent week and this morning i woke up and it's like my whole brain just switched off like#i barely got out of bed today and my anxiety was so incredibly bad yesterday and today i just felt so miserable and#i think part of it is because of new years and it's freaking me out a little#cause i've been trapped inside of my house ever since i graduated and i'm worried it's not gonna change next year#trapped is a dramatic way of saying it but it's close enough at this point#how am i 24 yet i haven't had a chance to be an adult no license no job nothing#this is why i post and get to requests so fast because i literally sit and browse the internet for pocket change all day#idk if im like this for another year that may just be it for me idk if i can handle another year of just sitting and waiting#i've tried to make things happen i've tried to change everything i've tried to talk to my parents but nothing gets through to them#literally writing is all i have now#idk#im just having a bad night#i could say so much more but idk what the tag limit is#anyway#if u read this .... lord im sorry lol
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Hello you know what time it is time for a work update no one cares about except maybe Catherine and Beth my beloveds
#so our pos system changed i think#but they've been having problems with it#also i have to do some training videos for it that i didn't have time to get to last week and now i havr to do them today lol#the manager said he was coming in this morning to try to fix stuff lol and his car is still here so :) probably a bad sign#that things are Not Going Well so far#whatever tho. as long as i can clock in i dont have to deal with it till the end of the day lol#oh and :) my mom and my sister are probably bringing harley in to give her a bath today#bc we have a cool self serve dog wash thing#that'll be fun :)) i love seeing Harley more than normal skfjdk i love her#otherwise. no too nervous for the day? but kinda feel like. smth is gonna happen :/#hopefully im wrong skjhskbdj#swifties give me strength!!!!!!!#see yall at lunch!!!!#she was a baker girl#harley#my dog#mutuals đ
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#i am not doing well girlies#disclaimers that i am fine i'm always fine i will always be fine but hooo boy i do not feel fine lol#everything is always overwhelming i am always sad everything feels itchy#every single morning for weeks ive woken up with an anxiety bellyache and no matter how tired i am still i just have to get up#everyone i look up that i used to know is like. married and having babies or working their dream jobs and i just. im happy for them. i am#but where do i belong in all of this?#i know everything feels worse lately bc we're moving house and the routine changes and empty rooms feel Bad#plus my mom has not been doing well mentally which i feed off so it's just. you know#but will i ever Not feel like im so far behind? will i ever Not be deeply unsettled by even the mildest changes?#everything is so slow and so fast at the same time and it makes my head spin and we have a new friend who has a son my age and i was hoping#idk. that he'd be somewhat similar to me? falling behind a little bit too? maybe i could make a friend irl that understood a little?#but then i casually ask about him and oh no ofc he has a partner and family of his own etc etc#right. that's what i'm supposed to be doing at this age.ha#so many ppl i went to school with are married now. im turning the age this year that my mother was when she HAD me#meanwhile ive never even kissed anyone never even held a boy's hand never had any attention like that ever and#i wonder so often what it's like to be wanted by someone but ive never felt more undesirable#i cant imagine anyone looking at me and Wanting me. and at this point as romance obsessed as i am idk if i could even handle it#and the other night i was having anxiety dreams over the fact that i rly want kids but even waiting until im 30 thats only 5 years??#and 30 is already fucking five years away from being considered a GERIATRIC pregnancy?? but im not even done being a kid myself!!!!#and also who the fuck is gonna have a kid with me?? and who knows if i can even get pregnant when i rarely have a period ??#and i cant imagine not liiving with my mom and sister but does that mean i'll live with them forever??#will i be 30 35 40 45 still feeling like a kid? or worse.. will i not feel like myself at all?#will i be married to someone i dont love madly simply bc im so terrified to be alone?#or will i hold so tightly to my stories and fantasies that i will be alone bc nothing could ever live up to them?#will it even matter what i want? will anyone ever want me to even give me the option? or will this all stay hypothetical forever#im just. stressed. and i thought i'd be more by now.
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also how is it that spanish love songs has such good merch??? i don't think I've ever been to a show before where I had to struggle so hard to pick just one thing, like in a lot of cases there's only really one thing that appeals to me or I just get something bc i love the band and need to have them on me regardless of what the design looks like. but i was spending ages just staring at the merch stand trying to pick one out of alllll the things i wanted
#i got one shirt with 'stay alive out of spite' on the back and i love it#i thougt super long and hard about the brave faces everyone shirt because it is literally one of my favorite songs#but i decided not to go for it bc i have their baseball hat with the exact same words on it anyway#also they had this really awesome zip up hoodie that I was staring at for ages#but alas it was 60 bucks and i do not have that kind of money lol#at first i was looking through their merch like omg theres so much good stuff i need to get this shirt and that shirt and that hoodie and#then i saw the prices and remembered I'd probably have to narrow it down to just one shirt lol#I'm not actually really about it though i freaking love this shirt im actually wearing it right now lol#it's definitely gonna be one of my favorite shirts to wear#also i need to do a revamp of my wardrobe#all my tops are black band tees which is fine but most of them are from hot topic and of mostly big bands that i don't listen to super often#and like that was fine when i first got them#but it is not enough now i I need several shirts for the same bands that i am Obsessed with bc one shirt per band is not enough#i am a very normal person with very normal ideas about clothes and music and a very regular amount of interest in bands#anyway all this to say i might end up getting a bunch of sls merch anyway in the future#just so i can wear them while also listening to them which would be all the time#anyway i think this shirt is gonna be super good for my mental health bc every time i wear it im gonna be thinking of the lyrics on the back#also im definitely washing this (and my whole outfit) tomorrow morning so i can wear it again right away and show it off to everyone#if ur wondering about the washing part its bc i have a general routine when it comes to getting merch at shows#where i go to the merch stand right away so i can get a good size before its sold out#and i put it on over my t shirt so i don't have to worry about carrying it#and its also the outermost layer so the band gets to see me wearing it like hiii i love ur stuff so much i got it and wore it to see you#now this does have the unfortunate side effect of getting absolutely drenched in sweat after the show#one time i was wearing three shirts at once along with a hoodie tied to my waist bc i got a bunch of merch and it was sooo warm#i have no intentions of changing this routine though i like how efficient it is#oh also the shirt is green!! another thing that made me choose it over the others#i literally do not own any green shirts#so i am very happy that i have a very nice shirt that i like in a new color#mine#my shows
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#the sky speaks#i need to word vomit ^_^#and maybe actually vomit. or possibly cry#i was literallyfine this morning and then i took a shower and went to work w my mom and the dysphoria has hit me like a fucking freighttrain#i read my coming out letter to my therapist last week#idk i think saying it all out loud changed something in me. i feel like im constantly going to burst if i dont tell my famyiky soon#i want to rip my chest out and curl into a ball and scream#think i am Finally (after like a decade of wanting one) im gonna get a binder#it sounds so silly now like. idk at first it was a survival thing but.#i couldve safely come out like. 5 years ago?#but i was too afraid of change! and still hoping i would change my mind for good#i still dont know when ill tell my family but my step number one is gonna be gwtting a binder and boxers like ive wanted for forever lol#on another note my dad told me my outfit was giving divorced 35 yr old man who sees his kids twice a week#love to see it đ
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im un sure if i should sleep in tomorrow bc i have homework to do but i also have 3 events happening tmrw back to back..........decisions decisions
#.txt#help#im at work rn nd wont be out till like 10:30-11pm#tmrw i got 2 cup sleeve events back to back starting from 2:45pm#the second cupsleeve i should get home ideally no later than 5:45 nd im leaving the house again to see spiderverse live in concert#like at 6:30#so not a lot of down time at all#prob just enough time ti grab a bite nd change my clothes#nd so my first thought was ok sleep in nd take the moring easy since ill be booked from 2:45 to like 9-10 nd ill be dead after#but i also have a whole 20 pages to read for my engloish class and an assignment based on the reading#and i have an insanley long studyguide to fill out for a big test on tuesday#and i dont have to do the study guide tmrw bc i have the test tuesday but idk im stressesd its gonna b a very hard test so i wanna study#but i made these plans all way before the sem started lol#im very excited for tmrw i just am not sure if i should take a break tmrw morning or not#im leaning towards taking a break honestly nd just grinding on sunday
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Watching vids of the new phone Iâm gearing to get and YT recommendations introduced me to more MVNO phone plans that have me like đ
So fuck it, if I can save even more money per month on my phone bill then hell yea! New phone, new carrier babey đ
#mine#its gonna be a brand new year this szn for me B)#fall is usually my ânew yearâ in a lot of ways so to speak#anyways i probs might lose my morning job later this year anyways#so its good to save up now and get that shit squared away#so that later when i return back to being broke again#i can just⌠be broke with my brand new phone and cheap phone plan lol#i also sorta feel like#i am justâŚ. preparing for smthn#like so many changes are happening in general lately#that i feel like im gearing up for New Moments n shit#i hope this winter doesnt suck absolute ass like last year#and that these will be good changes :â)
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all yours if you want me | s.r
pairing: spencer reid x bau!fem!reader
a/n: i think i really like this but if i proofread it one more time im gonna hate it so im just putting it out now lol. this is the full version of the sneak peak i posted last week woohoo ! also this is my first time writing smut so im sorry if it sucks but i hope y'all like it <3
summary: bau's got their first day off in weeks, and you're heading straight to the club to have some fun, you just didn't expect your coworker/crush to also be there while you're trying to forget him.
cw: 18+ minors pls dni, smut, p in v (dont be silly wrap ur willy), munch!spence, lowkey softdom!spence, suggestive dancing in public spaces, minor insecure reader, reader is afab and wears a dress and heels
wc: 4.6k
pls let me know if i forgot anything and let me know your thoughts pleaseee xx
it was the first friday night off you and any of the team members of the bau had in a long time, and you all were determined to spend it well. jj and hotch immediately went home to their families, penelope and emily decided they were going home to get some well needed rest, rossi went to a cigar club, not really sure what derek and spencer ended up doing, but you knew what you were doing tonight.
youâd had a long standing invitation from one of your college friends for a club night, and at first youâd decline because youâd get swept away on a case, and because you were hopelessly pining after your hot nerdy coworker dr. spencer reid.
spencer was smart in many ways, three PhDs, countless published papers, not to mention that eidetic memory of his. there was one thing that spencer was just fucking dumb at, and it was your shameless flirting at him.
like it annoyed you how clueless he was. youâd bring him coffee in the mornings with hearts drawn on it, fall asleep on his shoulder on the jet rides back, even complimenting his outfit or looks which made him flustered, but still nothing. your harbored crush seemed to stay just that, a crush. and while youâd hope he would get the hint he just hasnât.
so you pull out your phone to text your friend.Â
âbarryâs at 9?â
âoh my god FINALLY. iâm there i'll pick you up at 8:30.â
you grin to yourself, this was good. you needed to get out and unwind for once.
you drive home quickly to hop in the shower before your friend comes to get you. throwing on a silk slip dress as your outfit of choice, you slipped your heels on and met your friend in the car.
walking into the club, youâre met with the thumping bass of the music playing and the staunch smell of alcohol, sweat, and sex.
it made you think about the last time you got laid, which was a really long time ago. and honestly you wanted to sleep with spencer so bad you hadnât been making advances elsewhere. but that was going to change tonight, you were determined to have good slutty fun, and hopefully get laid.
your friend grabbed your hand and beelined to the bar, ordering two tequila shots each. once you downed them you moved to the dance floor and started preying for a target. as youâre scanning the room, you notice a familiar looking mop of brown hair standing next to bald headed man. a combo you knew all too well.
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derek morgan was a player. and before heâs a player, heâs a damn good friend. which was his reasoning for dragging spencer out of his apartment to come out to the club and have fun.
âbut i can have fun at home by myself morgan.â
âkid, you need to let loose once in a while. you are young, iâm just helping you take advantage of it.â
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so now spencerâs at the club (a sentence he still struggles to believe) wearing trousers and navy button down shirt to which morgan had popped the top buttons open because âit gives the ladies a sneak peekâ. he just rolled his eyes and went with it. heâs nursing a shirley temple at the bar, perusing the environment when he comes across a pair of eyes he knows like the back of his hand.
when you recognize the amber eyes you couldnât believe your luck. of course, on the one night youâd decided to explore other options he shows up in the least expected place for him to be. so much for getting over him, you think. shyly raising your hand to wave, spencer returns the gesture. morgan takes note, âwho are you waving t- oh, pretty girl is here huh pretty boy?â he nudges him.
a blush raises on his face. spencer thought you were attractive, like really attractive. you were a great addition to the bau and he admired your work ethic a lot, the day you walked into the bullpen wearing a fitted pantsuit had his own pants growing real tight. he still remembers when you introduced yourself and he couldnât even get up without exposing himself. you thankfully didnât think it was weird, and spencer was relieved when it was finally time to go home. heâd be lying if he said he didnât have nights where he wished you were the one finishing him off and not his rough hands. he didnât think youâd like someone like him, and took all of your âadvancesâ as morgan calls them, as acts of kindness.
morgan laughs as he watches spencerâs iq deteriorate to below 50 staring at you, âdo you what you gotta do man. but you better be going home with someone tonight okay?â
spencer nods and nurses his drink a bit and looks back to morgan to realize heâs already off dancing with some girls in the corner. damn.
after your distanced encounter with spencer, you decide itâs time to move on and have some fun on your own. you couldnât be hung up on him anymore, at least not tonight. tonight was for bad decisions.
good thing bad decision walked up to you asking to dance, whatshisname leads you to the dance floor and puts his hands on your hips, swaying to the beats of t-pain and pitbull.
you didnât know, but spencer was watching every move you made. he watched you get led to the dance floor, the way he placed his hands right on your ass and squeezed, and how he turned you around so you were dancing on his front with your back. he gripped his glass so tight the bartender had to tell him heâd have to pay if it breaks.
he gets it, youâre attractive. this is the kind of thing that happens to people who look like you. who wouldnât want you? but then he watched it happen a second time. and a third. and a fourth and fifth, till he just stopped counting at nine for his sanity.
spencer was not used to the green monster taking over him, but oh god was he fucking seething with jealousy.
you realized spencer was watching you by whatshisname number five. he hadnât moved from his spot and he was constantly staring in your direction. deciding to do a little experiment, you played up your dancing a lot more, acting more flirtatious, dragging the guyâs hands further down, and letting out open mouthed moans that you knew spencer couldnât hear but could definitely see. you watched as his jaw shifted and his knuckles turned white as you danced with each guy, realizing the growing effect that you now had on him.
by whatshisname number nine, you casted your hook. making sure to face spencer and meet his eyes, you watched as they darkened when he realized you were looking right at him. spencer mightâve brushed it off as a coincidence, but then you winked at him. and he realized what you were doingâyou were taunting him, and fuck was it working for him. the bulge in his pants grew uncomfortable that he had to stand up to not draw so much attention to it under the bar lights.Â
you watched him stand up and adjust himself and you threw your line. when he looked back up at you, you made a come here motion with your index finger and a bite of your lip. spencerâs eyes darkened impossibly more, he paid for his tab and strode over to you.
sinker.
he pulled you from the man behind you, who muttered a âwhat the fuckâ and moved away. spencer pulled you flush to his chest and with a low voice in the crest of your ear he whispered, âwhat do you think youâre doing?â
âi donât think i know what youâre talking about dr. reid, could you explain it to me?â
spencer tightens his hold on you and ghosts over your ear once more, âthis is a dangerous game youâre playing, sweetheart.â
âa game you joined the second you walked over here.â
he looked at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes, and matched the small smirk on your lips. game on.
the song changed to something with a more sultry beat, and you used the opportunity to wrap your arms around his neck and let his hands guide your hips to the music. while he wasnât much of a dancer, he could definitely keep a beat. it didnât prove to be so difficult when your chest was pushing up on his own that he was just waiting for them to spill out. he realized he could feel your hardened nipples through your slip, the nubs rubbing friction through the fabric of their clothes. he moaned internally while he gripped your hips to pull you even closer. it was clear spencer seemed to be getting comfortable with moving your body and holding you close, but you couldnât let that happen.
before the second chorus you turn around in his arms so your back is pressed up against his front, and you start dancing on him.
spencerâs taken by surprise, something you felt when his hands faltered the confident rhythm it kept up, and while he watched you dance just like this with all those guys itâs like his mind is blank now.
you recognize the song playing, collide by justine skye & tyga, and use the sultry beat to your advantage. you move your ass hard on his front, feeling his length pressed between your cheeks. you gesture for him to lean his head down and he lets out a low groan as you whisper in his ear, âall that for me?â.
a primal instinct starts to take over spencerâs being, and he grips your hips to meet his rutting from behind. spencer was desperate for any friction that could soothe the growing ache in his pants. you grinned as you felt take what he needed from you. it was quickly wiped off your face when you felt his hands inching dangerously close to where you really wanted him. you place your hands on his with surprise and look at him, âwhat are you doing?â
âi donât think i know what youâre talking about, sweetheart,â he threw back at you, âbut if thereâs something youâd like me to do, iâm all ears.â spencer grazes his fingers under the hem of your dress, toying with the lace band of your panties and slipping his fingers below it to stroke your inner thighs.
fuck. he turned it on you so fast it almost gave you whiplash. the provocative dancing was something you could handle, hell everyone on that dance floor was doing the same thing as you both. what you werenât sure you could handle was him about to touch you in a public space. but, your body betrayed you as it turned you on to another plane. you look up at him with lust filled eyes and let out a breathy moan of his name. spencer collapses internally and stands his ground, âif you want something, beg me.â
spencer thinks heâs won the upper hand, and heâs feeling so smug behind you. he still thinks he has the upper hand until you reach down and place his middle and index finger in your mouth, circling your tongue around the digits.
âtouch me.â you moan out, releasing his fingers.
spencer is dumbfounded how heâs the one about to burst out his pants when he made you beg for him. it should make him feel embarrassed at how close he was, but he couldnât find it in him to care. not when you in his arms pleading him to do something. you sounded so pretty, and who was he to deny a pretty thing like you?
his fingers continue their journey down, outlining the lace trim resting on your thighs. he hooks his fingers on the fabric to pull it aside and slips into you, going at an aching pace to gather the wetness and groaning out, âjesus, youâre so wet, was this all for me? you needed my attention that bad, baby?â
you whimper and grip his hand even tighter because youâre not sure if your legs are holding out any longer. itâs all so overwhelmingâhaving his hands down your panties in the middle of the dance floor, the lewdity of the noises in your ear, the hard length pressing desperately on your ass. this is all youâve ever wanted from him, to want you. and now itâs happening, and your brain canât fire the neurons fast enough to process the moment. instead your body responded with your skin heating up with anticipation, heart beating out as much adrenaline to keep up. the daze is getting foggier by the second as he trails his fingers up and down your slit, spreading the wetness and circling your clit on the way up. and you think youâre about to get accustomed to the pace heâs set, when he delves between your folds and you moan out loud so abruptly that the nearby patrons looked around wondering where it came from.
you can feel spencerâs shit eating grin behind you as he moves his head down to leave love bites on your neck. if he can feel your bluff dissipating, heâs not saying anything. his fingers set a painfully slow rhythm, and you grind down trying to get any more friction to reach your peak. heâs hitting you in all the right spots that make you see the stars and beyond, leaning your head back on his chest as you barrel towards your climax. you feel yourself mere seconds away from reaching, and spencer suddenly pulls his fingers out, making you whine out in protest, âwh- what are you doing?â
spencer grabs your wrist and starts dragging you through the sweaty bodies surrounding you, tightening his grip with a small smirk as he passes a few of the guys you were dancing with earlier. suckers.
he pushes the doors open with a force and while the cool air is attempting to return your body to homeostasis, the anticipation of where heâs going overtakes you, âspence, where are we going wh-â you cut off your sentence with a gasp as he handles you flush to the door of his car. then itâs just silence for a few moments. no loud bass or weird dudes, just the two of you. the only sound that can be heard are your breaths competing for prominence. you look up at him and focus on the details of his face illuminated by the moonlight, trying to read his expression. his honeyed eyes have fully darkened to a lustful hickory, and suddenly you felt like a gazelle being preyed on by a lion.
he reaches into his pocket and unlocks the car with a soft beep. itâs the focused eyes on you that drive you to open the door, but itâs the subtle silent nod of his head towards the car that makes you move inside waiting for him to join you. he climbs in after you, shutting the door and locking it.
spencer moves to the middle seat and allows his legs to spread open, he taps his thighs and faintly says, âcome here.â
you shuffle closer and swing your legs over him, your dress rising up a little as you fully sit on his clothed crotch. and now you realize the corporeality of the moment. itâs like, really real now. all this time pining after the boy genius with no luck and now heâs got you in the backseat of his car and your panties crooked, waiting for you to move. the bravado you wore and so tightly held onto for a majority of the night comes crashing down like a shattered vase, and youâre not sure if you have any more in you to salvage the pieces. you may be a profiler, but try as you might you are not a mind reader, yet you so desperately want to know what heâs thinking. is it too much to ask what this means? will it overwhelm him to say youâve dreamt about this moment for many nights, and how those dreams went on till the early morning when heâd stay and brush your hair back with a temple kiss. the whispers of sweet nothings sticking to you like honey as you got ready for the day. are these questions you even want to know the answer to?
you may not be a mind reader, but he is dr. spencer reid, who noticed your demeanor change after too long of a silence.
âhey,â he holds your chin delicately to your eyes, âitâs okay if you want to stop, iâm sorry for tak-â
itâs your turn to cut him off, âno! no i, i still want this, i just,â you falter.
âjust what, baby?â he coos softly.
it makes tears well up in your eyes, you hope he canât see them, âiâve just wanted this for so long, and itâs probably embarrassing that iâm admitting this now of all times, but i donât know if i can handle this meaning more to me than it does to you.â you confess quietly.
spencer listens to your admission and gingerly resecures his arm behind you, a position he thinks is starting to become second nature. he rubs soft shapes into the small of your back, âwhat makes you think that?â
âbecause i basically threw myself at you tonight, and it seems to be the first time you noticed me.â you say halfheartedly.Â
âyou think i donât notice you?â he whispers, leaning in to leave soft kisses in the crook of your neck. spencer is dumbfounded, confused at how you reached such a conclusion. but as a man of science, he feels thereâs only one way to prove himself. he breathes your name out, âcan i show you how much i notice you? please?â
you nod, at least you could commit this moment to memory if it was all youâd have left of him. he presses his lips to yours for the first time that night, your breath faltering as he becomes more feverous with his attacks. slotting his tongue with yours, your hands move up to his silky hair to take purchase in. he lets out a groan as he pulls back from you, âi need to taste you.â
he guides your body to lean back on the center console, the only way his tall figure would be able to accommodate this position. your legs are still split on either side of his legs, using your hands to prop yourself up to watch his movements. he hooks his fingers on the sides of your panties and slowly slides them down, moaning at the way your slick causes resistance as he pulls them off your legs. wrapping his arms under your thighs to lift you up to face level, he places small kisses on your inner thighs as he makes his way to your core. he places a final kiss on your center before licking a long stripe up to your clit. moaning out wantonly, he continues his ministrations and kitten licks all over you, circling back up to your clit after each round.
âspence..â you whine out. he moves his focus to your clit, circling and sucking till youâre squirming in his arms so much has to grip your thighs. your hands are fussing through his hair, gripping and pulling to find something to ground you. spencer then slips his fingers into your core for the second time tonight, and you lose it.
heâs pumping his fingers in and out, that all you can hear is the squelching noises of your cunt. adding another one, youâre unable to stay still anymore, as if you were before.
âoh my fuck, spencer. iâm gonna cu-, cum. please donât stop, donât stop, donât stop.â you moan out filthy.
spencer unlatches his mouth for a moment, âcome for me, baby.â
your orgasm crashes down on you like a wave breaking on the shore. itâs all consuming, leaving you shaking and breathless and he lifts his head from between your legs and you see his chin glistening with you in the moonlight. the sight itself is so pornographic, you canât help but shuffle back onto his lap to crash your lips back to his, tasting yourself on his tongue. he tangles his hands in your hair as you move yours between you both, unzipping his trousers to palm him through his boxers.
he breakily moans in your ear as you slowly pull back the band to take him out. the sight takes you by surprise, you knew he was big, you felt it on your ass while you were dancing. but seeing how it compared to your hand had you bulging your eyes.
âyouâre so big,â you whisper. how the hell was that fitting inside of you?
spencer the mind reader places his hand on top of yours as you lazily stroke him, âweâll go slow, donât worry.â he canât help but feel his ego inflate to the skies, he canât remember the last time he had someone look intimidated by him.
nodding faintly, you gather the spit in your mouth and let it fall between you both to land on the flushed pink tip. you spread it up and down his length, setting a slow pace that had him moaning expletives in your ear.
âoh-, ohhh, fuck baby. youâre so good at that holy shit,â he says trying to hold himself together. you give him a few more pumps before lifting your hips up to guide him inside you. you move his tip to your entrance, rubbing it teasingly before spencer places his hands on your sides to stabilize you, and slowly sink you down onto him.
the second his tip pushes past your folds, you both moan out in harmony. placing your hands on his shoulders you leverage yourself to sink down further inch by inch, until your core is flush with the base of his thighs.
spencer is a man of many words, maybe too many. but right now the only word he can remember is your name as he watched you take his length whole inch by inch slowly losing any restraint he had left. the pressure his cock had inside of you was heavenly. youâd never felt so full, and you could tell he was trying so hard to stay still as you adjusted above him.
when you bottom out spencer throws his head back against the seat, âoh thatâs it, good girl,â you clenched around him. âyou okay?â
you nod in response, ignoring the way the term of endearment sent flutters to your heart, and attempt an experimental rock of your hips, causing spencerâs head to whip up and meet your lust blown eyes with his own. he adjusts his hands on the sides of your thighs and starts helping you move up and down on his length, setting a brutally slow pace.
you rest your head and moan into the crook of his neck as he continues his movements, âspencer, please, more, i can take it.â
he still canât believe whatâs happening right now, all those days he spent thinking about you in the bullpen, at home, everywhere really, and here you were begging on top of him to fuck you good.
âyou still think i donât notice you?â he says into your ear, âi have dreamt about what youâd look like bouncing on my cock, and you are blowing any idea i had out of the water.â
you whimper as he continues, âand when iâm not thinking about ruining you, i am in awe at how you walk through life. you bring so much joy everywhere you go, itâs a blessing to be able to experience you.â he says through shaky breaths.
the praise goes straight to core, with some traveling to your heart again, and youâre not sure how much longer you can hold on before you unravel physically and emotionally.
his hands are guiding you up and down at a harder pace now, âso,â thrust. âyou still think,â thrust, âi donât notice you?â he thrusts into you once more and holds you down, making sure youâre looking directly at him, âit was never an option to brush past you, you are everything to me. i didnât know how to show that without overwhelming you. iâm sorry.â
tears well up in your eyes again, spencer notices this time and presses a small kiss on your forehead. all your senses feel like theyâre in overdrive, unable to comprehend anything right now. your skin feels like itâs on fire as he rolls your hips faster to meet his ruts.
âspence, i- iâm so close.â you whine desperately.Â
he slips his hand between you both to rub your clit, âi know baby, iâve got you. let go for me.â
his words were enough to break the dam, your second climax of the night hurling towards you. the white hot feeling overtook your whole body, shaking and clenching above him. your grip on him was threateningly vicious, probably leaving deep crescent marks in the nape of his shoulders. you wish the euphoria would last forever if it meant having spencer like this. as you came down from your high, the two of you were still moving together, slowly rocking your hips to meet each other. once you were grounded again, you pushed through the sensitivity in your core to rise up on his length, just barely leaving the tip in before you slid back down fast and hard, now focusing on spencer reaching his peak.
âoh jesus, fuck.â spencer moaned out brokenly.
âcome on spence you can do it,â you taunted as you clenched down, âcome inside me, make a mess of me please.â a rush of confidence flowed through as you whispered into his ear, and spencer held your hips to help you bounce faster on him.
spencer let out a loud groan as you felt the hot spurts coat your insides, he was leaving matching crescent marks on the sides of your hips as the ones on his shoulders, making sure all of him was left in you. feeling him soften inside, you remained on his lap with him sheathed in you. you both are breathing heavily, leaning back to hopefully give you both some relief from the sex filled air. looking around the car you realize that all the windows are fogged up and let out a tiny giggle.
âwhatâs so funny?â he looks up at you slightly amused and very out of breath.
âno itâs just, the windows are such a dead giveaway for what we just did in here.âÂ
âeh, i donât really care what people think.â
âgasp, dr. reid wants to let the world know he has car sex with random girls?â
he leans in to bite your neck playfully, ârandom? did nothing i said during all that register for you?â
you yelp and attempt to play dumb, âactually i donât remember a word, you might have to jog my memory. maybe even recreate the circumstances to help with cementing it. i read about situational memorization where certain scenarios are easily remembered when thereâs a big event to anchor it to.â
he swears he couldâve melted on the spot at you explaining a concept youâd read about to him, âcareful sweetheart, calling it a big event might inflate my ego a little too high.â
âi mean, i can tell it worked,â you tease as you feel him harden inside of you again, âso tell me genius, how many times does a scenario have to happen for me to remember the information?â
âi guess weâll have to find out, donât we?â
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid smut#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#mgg#spencer reid fanfic#dr spencer reid#bau team#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid one shot
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Hi! could you possibly write something about a fuckboy!soap and shy!reader that he uses for sex, and she keeps letting him? im craving angsty angst ANGST that just keeps hurtingâŚyou donât have to if you donât want to and thank you if you do! Have a great day!
Okay, one thing you all should know about me? Is that Iâm a weenie lol so I canât help but make things a little hopeful most of the time. Alsoâ gonna make this like a college type AU
Soap clocks you from a mile away when he sees you at a party. Thereâs a cup of beer in your hand that youâve been nursing, just sipping to have something to do while you cling to the side of the friend who forced you to come.
Heâs seen you in his classes before. Youâre good. Not the type to be seen in a place like this. And that kinda whets his appetite. He wants to fuck you, break you, make you fall apart for his own amusement.
He nudges Gazâ they have the routine down to a scienceâ splitting up the birdies that are a little too huddled together so they can have their way with them. Gaz runs interference this time, Johnny mouthing an âI owe yeâ his wayâ chatting up and pulling your friend away to talk a bit more. Youâre alone now, and Johnny swoops in, weaving through people on a warpath.
He corners you expertly, and youâre a pathetically easy read. Easy to tease, to coax, to push. He just has to throw in a few lines about how pretty you look, peppered between him saying heâs always wanted to talk with you, always admired you in classâ he gives just enough detail to lull you into thinking this is courting. That heâs going to fuck you because he likes you.
Works like a charm. Always does. You clumsily follow him to his roomââYe didnae ken? This is my fraternityâs house, bonnie,ââ as he pulls you along by the hand.
He enjoys pulling you apart. Like the birds taking Prometheusâs liver. Heâs not a complete animal, he makes you cum, but he doesnât give you kisses the way youâd probably hoped he would. Heâll tell his mates laterâ it was kinda cute how fucking bad you were at giving head, too.
He lets you stay the night even though your clinging is a bit annoying. Pushing you out would burn this bridge, and heâs not ready to do that just yet. Not when he could keep having fun.
Come morning your clothes are tossed your way (sans panties, those are going in his trophy collection), and he has the decency to drop you off at your place with the promise of further contact.
Come your next class, heâs back to acting like he doesnât know you. Youâre shy, but youâre not stupid. Itâs easy to see that you were played, and you curse yourself for falling into it.
So why do you show up when he texts you, asking you to come over?
Promethean indeed.
And it keeps happening.
Itâs not like he treats you badlyâ thatâs what you tell yourself. Youâre just the idiot for expecting more than orgasms. Itâs nice to feel wanted. Itâs not nice to put your clothes on and get out right after, but youâre willing to ignore that. You shouldnât be. But you are.
Youâre not the kind of girl who gets asked out. So why refuse the one source of attention you have? He makes you cum, right? Thatâs more than a lot of guys do, so it would be unfair to expect more. High maintenance. Right?
If Johnny can see the hurt behind your eyes when you turn to check behind you when you leave, as if heâll suddenly change his mind and call you back into bed to hold you, he doesnât do anything about it. Heâs content to tug on his jeans and brush past you with a cigarette in his mouth.
You steel yourself as usual, double checking the straightness of your clothes as if itâll make you feel like less of a cheap whore when his housemates glance your way as you leave.
The door across from Johnnyâs is almost always open, despite how closed off its occupant seems. Youâve never met Simon. Well, you really havenât met anyone in Soapâs life. Thatâs not what he keeps you for, is it? Fucktoys donât get introduced to the friend group. Doesnât stop Simon from staring holes in your back every time you leave. Must think youâre easy. Must wonder if Johnnyâll mind if he has a go. Or maybe he just thinks youâre pathetic. You certainly do.
But itâs happened one too many times. Apparently, even a worm will turn. His stare itches and crawls up your skin when you already feel like such a piece of meatâ chewed up and spit out. And you must be losing flavor. Before long you wonât even have this. You turn to look at him instead of walking on as usual.
âWhat the fuck are you looking at?â You spit in a tone that surprises you. Youâve never said anything like that to someone, not in earnest, anyway.
âLemme take yâout somewhere.â
What?
What?
#writing#cod fanfic#cod#soap x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#john soap mctavish x reader#johnny mactavish#john soap mctavish x you#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#college au#Promethean
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I was looking through my Instagram for a picture of some of my art and came across these from the week I got harley (and also got distracted watching videos of layla and mercedes)
Notice the dates lol
#''lol look at this baby calico thats sleeping in the same position as mercedes''#*two days later* ''soooo this is harley''#i wanna be clear that the picture of her sleeping was taken on the second day in a row of me going there to see her#also. do i come out to my parents and tell them i wanna go by riley and THEN change my insta handle#OR do i just change my insta handle and switch out the profile pic to a trans flag or something and see how long it takes my mom#to notice#she barely uses instagram so probably awhile#i would do facebook but then EVERYONE would know and while the most openly transphobic relatives are dead#and i know my parents and my moms parents will be chill about it#its the rest of them that idk about#my dads parents were pretty hardcore trump supporters so they are a MAJOR question mark for me#if they werent on there i might just change it rn and go to sleep and deal with the fallout in the morning#fuckin transphobic relatives gotta ruin all my fun man#anyways thats my insta if you wanna follow me for whatever reason before i change it#im literally never on there but i am probably gonna start uploading my art there again just to have an organized place for it#also!!! pictures and videos of mercedes and layla!!!! i go on there just to watch them sometimes cuz i miss them#harley#mercedes
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