#im gonna be honest. i am not... super proud of this. but i finished a piece which is more than ive done in a long long time!!!

[revolutionsingingintherainnn]

sigh

i’m not going to lie, my heart is feeling a lot of different things right now.

P1 — George ‼️‼️‼️‼️ fuck yeahhhhh he deserves it for sureeeee!! i loved it, i am sooooo happy for him, especially when he did the pose. it was an absolutely amazing race for him, and im so proud of him

P2 — Lewis ‼️ BRUH. dude went from p10 to p2 and reminded toto about his shelf life, didn’t he? fuck yeah, man. lewis is such a phenomenal driver and i loved him his race for him.

P3 — Carlos ‼️‼️ dude’s fighting with his own team, as he should. i was so mad at the swap positions, but he really said, “fuck your team” and performed beautifully.

charles, the radio message was just plain fucking rude. i love him as a driver, but i have been liking him less as a person, because that radio message was just not acceptable. otherwise tho, he performed well, he defended well, and im gonna give him a thumbs up of good job, but nothing more.

max is the world champion once again ‼️‼️‼️ while the championship “fight” was fun, let’s be honest, that the gap was too big and mclaren kept fucking up with strategies throughout the year. i’m really proud of him, i love him. i just don’t like his fans.

lando, my sweet baby. the car clearly did not have the pace today. i mean, we saw that. i know the antis are going to blame lando, but i really think it’s the car. neither oscar, nor lando had the pace today and it was honestly sad. he finished his race, he did good. i hope he doesn’t beat himself too much about this. he can and is contributing for the wcc.

oscar, again, the pace was terrible. i mean, the gaps just kept on increasing. i did love the few overtakes he did. wcc has always been mclaren’s main goal, so i guess, all they have to do is out score ferrari now for the last two races.

i’m super happy for the top three and max, and i’m really sad for lando, not because he didn’t win, but because we know he’s going to beat himself up for it.

i suppose it’s time to stay off socials again, because obviously, the fans are going to throw the wdc in our faces, and i’ve got exams, i don’t have time for that shit.

[quigzahhutt]

um hey hi hello how are you doing on this fine day my dude (struggling how to type normally bc i JUST woke up from a nap and i should really be restrained from my phone)

so um i wanted to ask for a trick or treat if you wouldn't mind!

BUT i did also want to give you a little treat myself if i may :)

so when you reblogged and put in the tags that your favourite fic is 'please turn those headlights around' but it's your least popular and obviously i had to RUN to read it and i unfortunately cannot say anything remotely intelligent in my 'still in bed' state of mind but im literally sobbing while typing this. i fear you have made a lump in my throat that will never go away and every time i try and swallow i'll feel it as a constant reminder of sorts of the devastating beauty that is your writing. like everything abt it. as of rn it feels like its been FOREVER since the logan news dropped (its been like 2 months) but reading this made me go right back to that very day purely bc of how well you captured the emotions. and the way logan was feeling SO MUCH and you still managed to fit it in all there like what can't you do bro???? like ur literally so cool omg. and. and. and the way logan's mind looked so empty but at the same time so much was going on and just yeah like i cant really describe it properly but YEAH. and also first time switching, that's so scary but you still managed to subtly weave it so beautifully in this narrative with the little awkwardness and apprehension with alex, they were so raw and vulnerable and honest with eo emotionally and physically in this SOB im gonna start crying again. AND the way the sex in the smut bit, it like basically represented, it wasnt just sex, it was also like a little symbol of like his ability???? and his own attitudes towards things in his life (his racing)???? like how when it said smth like 'gathering more data to improve his performance, ensuring a chance at a better finish.' or how he gets 'one track minded'. it's just. alot. yeah. ur like so super duper smart bro. yeah this piece of writing is like fucking poetry man i was literally reading a poem please hang it in the louvre and everything. never die pls and thanks. BYE sorry that was so long SOB

i hope you have a lovely day/night 💕

oh my word, FIRST OF ALL. THANK YOU? this inspired me to go reread it and it reminded me just how proud I am of that fic so THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the kind words on it. it's to this day one of my favorite pieces of work I've done ever and it has always bummed me out that it's my second least popular fic bcuz it's very dear to me, so hearing you say all this is just like. very very validating THANK YOU!!

because you have been so kind, you get an extra long and extra sweet treat from the 3rd part of Outgoing call! (which I will hopefully have finished . Soon) :)

Once he finally drags himself from bed and freshens up, Logan is already giving him an amused smile from the couch, the same one he would always give Alex when he was doing something unabashedly stupid, a slip of the fine-tuned and smug identity that Logan so carefully constructed. “What,” Alex deadpans, rounding the corner and trudging his way to the kitchen, opening the fridge and staring at the flickering innards like it'll magically give him all the answers to life. “What, I don't get a good morning?” Logan snarks, and Alex can hear the suppressed laugh in his voice. Alex has to fight with himself to keep a neutral face as he turns around, mindful not to let all his sickly sweet feelings translate into his expression. “What, will you want a kiss, too?” Alex retorts, pouring himself a glass of orange juice (Florida grown, the bottle proudly declares), his joints still stiff and not quite awake yet. Logan falls unusually quiet. He had been the one to start this whole interaction, and yet now he's freezing up. Alex chances a look at him, and finds Logan chewing the silky insides of his bottom lip, his eyes trained intensely on the juice and the way it sluices around the glass as Alex takes a calculated sip. There's a flush on his cheeks, and he finally forces his eyes away once he notices how purposeful Alex is being.

ahhh again thank you so much it actually means the world to me to hear such kind words :((❤️

send me a trick or treat and I'll surprise you with a trick or a treat ;)

[obsequence]

hi so this is for if you care about my writing ! my new blog is @suturism and im gonna be posting updates about my wips on there alongside my other mainblog shit :) i also have a twitter by the same username but i really just tweet abt random shit on there lol , but feel free to follow me if u want !!

im about to ramble a bit so if tail lights is your concern that's below here

obviously , i barely wrote last year , especially compared to the year before that . i didnt really make an effort in my writing at all after about march or so . and it wasn't lack or motivation or ideas

for a lot of people , it's really easy to write TO cope with like difficult situations but for me that's just . not it . im a very tunnel-visioned person and i can really only focus on one goal at once , and my goal for 2023 was literally like: survive . because of life situations plus my own health . i also didnt know whether id have to get extended care , so i didnt want to start any like big fics or anything during that time because i didnt know if id be able to update . thats the primary reason i didnt write much

the second is literally just insecurity and posting anxiety which sounds stupid LOL but it's super real for me . im really trying not to be so self conscious about what i post and to be content with the fact that i have progress to make , but it's hard at times . esp because (imo) tail lights was lackluster and i REALLY want my next multichapter to be better and something i can be proud of . so up to this point ive kinda been too anxious to post much if im being honest ! but i can feel that ebbing and it's simultaneously exciting and scary !

the third reason is just that like up til recently i didnt see a point !! my perspective towards writing has been really negative for a while but now im like rediscovering my love for it in my own and others' works and im just so . it makes me gush and also ANGRY because i feel stupid for neglecting it for this long LOL

so yeah with that: tail lights haha . im sorry but this the official funeral :| better now than holding out hope .

its status is basically: i have no PLANS to finish part two and i dont WANT to finish part two , so dont anticipate anything . not saying it wont ever happen if one day my feelings change but like i really dont see that happening so

i just have too many ick feelings associated to continue it and also enjoy it , so i really am sorry about that

BUT just because i am less invested in tail lights doesnt mean it isnt important to me still !! i appreciate everyone who read it/kudosed/commented/holds it dear 🖤 more than you can ever know . writing that showed me that people WILL actually read what i write , and that they care about it too , and thats a priceless sentiment i cherish

and with THAT: new writing !

so i dont wanna say anything super concrete but what im posting next is PROBABLY going to be yellowjackets related , but it may be saltburn or even tlou !! ill probably write a fic or two related to tlou after the remastered comes out depending on how much content we get and if its anything i can work with :)

but yeah if u read this far thank u for caring about my writing i love you

[eternalwritess]

Hiya !! Hiya !! I hope you are doing good <33 ,, i really enjoy your matchup style and um well imma here for one !! For Creepypasta specificlly !! <33

Orientation // gender // prns

She//ish - ehhh kinda between nonbianary and demi girl atm - kinda always flutuating on if im ace or not !! Iyghugjyh ik for sUre im queer tho lol

Personality // just how i am !! <33 !! <33

Personally I find myself to be a very paradoxical/ contradictory type person hgfbufht like I'm very kind And ADORE socializing but I don't really do it that often due to past experiences and losing friendships/connections but honestly if I get comfortable with someone I'm a total Chatterbox and Goofy Goober UGGHGHG ,, i am super anxious tho as i do have a disorder when it comes to that ,, paranoia comes very easy ,, oh !! I am Autistic aswell !! And I'm currently in a place where I'm learning to unmask basically just being more open about stimming and such + you know being honest when I need a break and I'm overwhelmed ,, as for my hobbies and things that I'm passionate about that would definitely be classified as media !! // analyzing it ,, I also very much enjoying learning about how the human Mind and Body Works + im a HUGE art lover <33 ,, for more of a dislike portion it would most likely be bugs and insects along with people being unnecessarily mean - also a hUge pet peeve of mine is when people talk over me that sucks

!! Now for my Appearance !!

Ask for how I look I'm a pretty short person who considers themselves chubby ^ - ^ I have very long very thick wavy brown hair and hazel eyes along with pale skin ,, style wise I love wearing my hair and pigtails pink is the favorite color in all of my outfits hgfhhvhg

!! !! Love Language !!

My love language is most definitely words of affirmation combined with physical touch as with my paranoia and anxious tendencies being reassured that someone is there and loves me is very nice and comforting and well when it comes to physical touch I am very touch starved ugghgghg

Now I just want to say before I finish any gender is fine in a character for me also thank you so much beforehand I love these jhcjygigh

Ok byeeeeeeeee ^_^

i match you with... 𝓙𝓪𝓷𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓚𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓻 ██ 20% _ ████ 60% _ █████ 80% _ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ 100% ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ!

♛ When you first came to the mansion you were most likely overwhelmed, and for a good reason too. You were in a mansion full of serial killers, where every wrong step could lead to you getting killed. Luckily though Jane found you and saw that you were anxious and took you away into the woods to step out for a moment to calm you down

♛ You two walked around and talked for a bit, she helped to calm you down from your anxiety and told you that she would help you feel more relaxed in the place as jumping around a lot was more than likely gonna get you killed sooner or later

♛ When you both walked back in she showed you to your room which was right next to hers and said that if you ever needed anything you could come on over and just talk to her and she'd help calm you down if you needed it

♛ Slowly over time you found yourself coming over to her room more and she would come to yours to see you ramble and slowly grow more and more into yourself over time, she felt proud of you and slowly began realizing that she had started liking you

♛ She was scared at first, her first love was killed and she was never really the same after that, so she wasn't entirely sure if she wanted to have another relationship with someone at the moment but as time went on it became harder and harder to deny

♛ One day when the two of you were out of a mission she confessed to liking you, it was short and sweet and she said that you didn't have to accept and that it would probably be better if you didn't. that being said you still accepted and to this day she is dumbfounded by it

(*∩ω∩)

♛ She loves and adores your energy, you give her back some of her own life that she's been missing ever since Jeff stole it and she loves you for that all of the way, you're the best thing to happen to her since then and she's totally protective of you

♛ Jeff tries to go near you sometimes to mess with Jane and she always ends up shouting at him and getting into fights with him because of it, both of them know that he wouldn't actually do anything but that being said she doesn't want to risk it

♛ She constantly gently touches you, your shoulder, your wrist, pressing her hand against yours and holding your hand. She cups your cheek whenever she can too, she adores your body and its features and tells you that every time when you kiss

♛ She hates bugs too and will always kill them for you, a spider? That's nothing, its already dead so don't worry about it. If there are any bugs that freak you out then she'd be more than happy to deal with them

♛ She never talks over you, letting you finish your sentences before starting her own and laughing along to your words. You really are the most important thing in the world to her

[argent-sz]

I'm healing.

My life for the past 8 months has been... shaping up to change a lot about me.

I like how calm and empty this place can be sometimes. Especially with this desert town almost in the middle of nowhere, it's been getting worked on with new buildings and infrastructure.

But I'm missing out on human relationships; the only people I can physically talk to are coworkers, family members, and customers, with the latter not counting because c'mon, that's not me, that's customer service masking.

I keep meeting my father's friends, who are good people at that, but my father keeps insisting that "friendships are inherited" and. No. The fuck they don't.

I don't know them, and the generational gap is too large to have Anything in common.

"Oh, but they also have kids your age!" True, very unlikely that we share interests though. It isn't me saying I have super high standards, no, i don't.

I gotta be honest, there Is a little bit of disinterest out of a preconceived idea of this town being only old people a little kids, and the whole stereotypes that go for the generation i'm from (even more so here with narco corridos or corridos tumbados and other shit like that)

He has also been trying to convince me to sign up for the local university to "make friends" but knowing myself, i would just revert back to the asocial, weird kid that is almost non-verbal unless asked.

I didn't come here to make friends just to abandon them the moment i finish my work year and move back into the city. That would be unfair to them and to me.

He worrying about me is understandable, but I'm literally built differently. i have a strong sense of autism, I don't know which one, but it has been medically diagnosed.

I've always been a loner kind of person, keeping myself physically away from others in shared spaces, traveling alone since i was 7, and getting lost and walking for hours back to whatever place i recognized (which im proud bc my legs are nicely shaped).

I'm comfortable with being physically alone,

But.

I can't help but feel i've missed out on so many experiences, i never got to do a lot of stuff others did when growing up.

I feel alone, and I'm not gonna lie. I kinda crave some sort of platonic contact without any commitments, just some really good friends carnally exploring each other kind of deal, y'know?

I'm jealous of some of y'all, fr fr, but i couldn't be happier for you. Reading your posts and stories just makes me so happy.

I'm glad people are experiencing the things i didn't do.

Aside from all that, I'm glad i get to be more in touch with nature, the physical activity, the road trips, the hikes, the adventures of getting lost in the middle of the desert.

I mean, come ON, i make knives on the daily!! How cool is that???

But at the end, i Am alone

[kdipshit]

Money ;

I show up for myself every single day, I wake up and the first thing I do is try to better myself, I wake up and im grateful, I wake up and im happy I’m alive. I wake up confused as hell as well though don’t get me messed up, I’m running out of weed and I haven’t been to work in a month. Its getting a tad out of hand, just like my situation, lol, seems to be out of my hands, do I need to pull up to my job and confront the entire establishment or do I keep being patient…. Its like they get annoyed when I ask about my hours… like ma’am? Anyways, saying optimistic and using my time wisely, how ever I would love some fkn cash right now, don’t we all? It fucking sucks without money doesn’t it?

Yes… yes it does, but ultimately I’m the one who out myself in this position…. Right? I couldn’t keep up with juggling work and mental health at once, it became too much, it became unbearable, but on the days I could handle it all, I was the fucking man. I hit my numbers, go above and beyond, coz once I’m focused, its pretty easy to get into the flow of it. I have so many new techniques to use once I go back to work, and I shouldn’t be worried weather or not they’re even going to roster me at all, but I am. I am worried, and I’m a little upset I couldn’t stick it thru on my last rostered day. But I chose myself, that day, even though the better choice would have been to put my head in the game and just finish the day, I couldn’t bring myself to do it, I was fine physically, but my mind was racing and I might have gotten violent if I didn’t watch myself, so I got in an uber and left.

Since then, I have not wasted a day. I don’t think, and I have blossomed into something I am extremely proud of, because Instead of showing up to work, I showed up for myself, which has made it easier to show up for the rest of life. I am ready and willing to do the mahi, I’m no better than anybody else. I work to sustain my life, independently.

Tbh if you ask for my snapchat thats so gross. Y’all I used to pop my pussy on snap for HELLA bands…. I aint tripping on snap, but the tiktokers took over. I would never make a personal snap EVER again its like my snapchat when I was younger was just me getting super fucked up like every single day and looking super cute doing fkn lip syncs and getting hundreds-thousands of views I was DEFINITELY a snapchat bitch, but that me was so young, like mind set wise, its childish idk. Ill use it to make money tho lmao, the hustle stays. I really don’t want to prepare myself to start dancing again but shit I will if I have to. Stripping can be VERY fun, but i think the alcohol might win in that fight scenario.

The writing really slows me down, and I’m here for it, it helps me so much, with every single letter, every word, every sentence bring me closer and closer to unravelling our mind. Its like a spell I cast, only I have the password, hidden amongst my writings, flooded within hundreds of thousands of words, because I know how much I like a challenge.

Any substance that I use, I abuse, its like do I really need that fkn much to sedate myself? Like shit bitch… why so damn much, I didn’t even know addiction didnt have to be a choice. Its like every 2nd heart beat is for the substance. Or for the feeling it gives me, or for the feeling it takes away, who knows, I just know that I THINK I need it, look at the consequences, its gonna have to effect me physically, and I’m going to have to get through that, without the substance to save me. Only myself, as I am fully capable. Okay I’m going to save my last cone for life threatening emergencies only. Day 4, starting tomorrow, 28th March. Substance deficit. I’m using my medication for the wrong reasons, I’m abusing them, and I know that, so, this is my moment of change. most important thing to remember is to show up for yourself. Be honest with yourself. Sit with yourself, write it all out.

Am I TMI for the internet? Lmao idk, I barely fucking read. Im the type of person who hears someone fart and looks around seeing if I catch anyones eye, but my question is why I even heard the fart in the first place, in this massive room full of distractions, I get so fixated and kind of zone out on the background noise, sometimes its all I can hear, I’m done so much embarrassing shit when I’m focused on something I don’t mean to be focused on, like other peoples conversations or other people movements… I focus too much on other peoples movements. To make sure no one comes into my space, and if they do, that Im ready for it, but its gotten me to trip up ALOT . I wonder why I do this?

[peachbloods]

guess who’s trying to draw again!!!

[hazzabeeforlou]

Hi, I’m Toni.

Got a slew of new followers and I’ve been almost inactive the last half a year (at least) so wanted to do an update/intro so you know who I am LOL and so my long suffering fandom besties know what the fuck’s been going on (if anyone still cares rip sorry it’s been forever)

Currently writing this from my sick bed of ear cellulitis? That I got from wearing my mask? It would literally only happen to me. Had to go to urgent care and get a butt shot of antibiotics so it didn’t, you know, spread to my bloodstream :)

Anyways I say that to say that I probably got sick in the first place because I’m incredibly run down right now. The classical music world (im a professional musician) FINALLY opened up again, and to meet gig demands I only work my pandemic retail job once a week. I have been traveling the last four weekends in a ROW, which, due to my chronic pain (which has seen SOME improvement over the last year!!) makes me super duper exhausted and I have to admit tik tok has been getting most of my brain numbing time.

Life post-happy drugs has been tough. I’ve seen improvement in the areas I wanted to, physically, but mentally god. Drugs were nice. Anywho, I’ve done a ton of witchy/ancestral connecting/herbalist kinda things the last six months, and I now have an alter and a spiritual practice that has really brought me a lot of growth and meaning. It’s hard healing from your past when you’re still living IN it… and there’s no improvement with my parents. They’re still homophobic as hell and Republican as fuck, despite screaming matches. The threats of physical violence prevent me from confronting my dad any further. I’ve kind of given up hoping they will ever change.

It’s funny though, I would classify this year as the year I started to “feel” things, and of course that happened physically post the drugs, but also emotionally once I started to let myself FEEL emotions, god what a train wreck. Who knew humans could CRY so much? That emotional revelation led to the probably overdue realization that I’m likely Autistic and high masking, and have been suffering from that classic 30’s wall that “gifted girl high masking autistic children” eventually hit wherein they are no longer able to just push through and ignore. That’s been tough.

Writing has always been how I process and understand emotions, and now that I’ve started to actually FEEL them, it hasn’t become as essential to my functioning as it had been the last six or so years. I miss it, and I plan on finishing all my projects I left behind… as I’ve said many time The Garden part 3 IS coming I promise lol. But! Hopefully. And no promises. But I have the most delightful Christmas fic tucked into my head that I would love to publish this year, if I can find the time to get it on paper.

Okay as for fandom… I did a “growth thing” earlier this year and deleted all the bbygate stuff I’d been saving for the inevitable end. I just can’t anymore. All the photoshop, the blatant exploitation of it all… yeah I think the best option is just not to care. If they’re gonna drag this out for the rest of my life then I’m going to ignore the shit out of it. Speaking of ignoring, I also noped out of the H and O nonsense. God. What a MESS. I liked HH, truly, but the fave for me was Matilda. To be honest with you all, I listened until I grew naturally full of the album and I moved on with my life, it wasn’t world changing to me the way FL was. HOWEVER. FITF? Lord save me i didn’t even know it was coming out and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m fucking obsessed. I’m planning a MP. I genuinely think it’s Louis’ finest work and I can’t get enough of it. Every time I listen I like it MORE. I theorize it’s going to be a slow blooming album that smacks everyone’s expectations in the face. I’m so fucking proud of Louis. I bawled real ugly tears at Common People.

And lastly as always, I believe the boys were in love but I make no claims about their lives now. I enjoy the hints and speculation and love larrying along, but I think they’ve established these personas that are bulletproof to fan speculation these days, and I feel that’s how they truly want it. And that’s cool, won’t stop me from writing Larry because it was the truest gayest baby Star crossed lovers story out there and still makes the best fan fic.

Apologies for the novel but nice to meet you if you’re new HI I’M TRYING TO BE BACK to my old chums, and feel free as always to talk to me, my ask box is always open ❤️

[tarantulas4davey]

HELLO BESTIE I am currently having Ralbert Brainrot and you're the best person go come to for this, obviously,, so PLEASE share! I would like to hear about ufc albert or youtuber race, or dancing partners!! I love them smm

HI YES HELLO USING THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO WRITE UFC FIGHTER AL PART 2 THANKS BABES

i just witnessed a literal crime and i’m Feeling The Rage (boxing judges at mma events can catch these hands) so here is. my brain on anger.

also the first half of this is pretty fight-talk heavy but the second half is more al/ralbert central so message me/send me an ask if i don’t explain something well enough <3

here is the ask i sent to @we-are-inevitable (thanks jac i’m in love with you mwah) and here is part 1 for this au if you haven’t read that one yet !!

also,,,,, this is fairly obvious. but trigger warning for violence/physical fighting, as well as blood. (it’s a rough gig y’all fjdhdb) oh and swearing but that’s pretty much just me LMAO

here i am, bein mad and writing ralbert. therapy time with chandler ig

OK SO

this is after his debut. duh. continuation

i think he’s probably 5 fights in with 5 wins. he’s been running people through, especially with four full camps after a short notice start, and he’s never even seen a decision in the ufc

let’s just say the hype train is moving FAST and it’s moving LOUD

everyone has to have those people that watch their fights just to see them lose, on top of the majority male fan base that have to have a little bit of toxic masculinity and homophobia in there

so there’s A LOT of people that are waiting for him and his hype train to get derailed. but there’s also a fair amount of fans, so you win some you lose some (the way i would die to see this be a real fighter pls)

now albert’s not always the most confident guy, and he’s never been cocky, but none of this shit gets to him. he’s got his coaches, he’s got his friends and he’s got race behind him. he knows he’s got the skills, and he’s got his support system, so who gives a shit what a bunch of cowards on the internet have to say?

and then they put him against someone known for his grappling and stamina. and the “it’s a wrap for dasilva!” bandwagon starts. it happens every time a rising striker and early knockout artist fights a well known grappler with any semblance of later round power (even if al has a background in wrestling and has gone 5 rounds and won outside of the ufc. it’s a bandwagon for a reason)

and it’s not Upsetting, it’s not really getting into his head in any way that’ll make him do worse, but it’s kinda pissing him off. which is bad for his opponent

the last person on earth you want to be fighting is an annoyed albert dasilva who thinks he has something to prove

he works his ass off in camp, and the press tour is a self-assured albert vs. a loudmouth who thinks he’s hot shit cause a few people on twitter think he’ll sweep

and, to be completely honest? it’s starting to look that way 2 rounds in.

it’s a 5 round fight, co-main event on a big card, and so far all al’s opponent has done is pinned him to the cage and kept him there. a few strikes worth anything - at least enough make al’s cheek bleed, no takedowns, which would at least give him some activity, and so submission attempts, so he can’t even gain any ground that way. he’s just- Stuck. and if THIS is how he loses, he’s gonna be pissed

the bell for the second round sounds, and you can actually see al’s chest heaving on camera as he walks to his corner - not because he’s tired or out of breath, but because he’s MAD, and fuck if he’s not going to do something about it

not only that, but he can not only see race and jack standing up by the cage - plus race’s expression, which is slightly annoyed and super anxious, which hurts his chest to think about - but he can hear them too

jack is yelling profanities, as per usual. he doesn’t that regardless of how the fight is going, but it’s less encouraging when you’re the one losing.

race though,,,, race isn’t really yelling, he’s more talking to himself than anything, but he’s close enough to cage and al knows him well enough to figure out what he’s saying. and if the muttered almost-prayers while he paces back and forth weren’t enough, the shiny gold engagement ring on race’s hand definitely is

round 3,,,, let’s just say it goes a little differently than the first 2 had gone.

he opens with a spinning back kick, of all fucking things, and that truly sets the pace

he’s the taller guy by a few inches, like usual, which makes his arms longer. the only reason crushing his against the cage worked is cause the guy he’s fighting cuts weight like a wrestler, so he’s easily got 20 pounds on albert come fight night

but once he finds his rhythm and starts throwing, he starts connecting too. he manages to stay out of range of his opponent and stay his comfortable distance to start t-ing off

this isn’t a one punch power ending. this isn’t a beautiful head kick, or a giant knee, or even just a clean right hook.

this is albert, who’s arms are starting to feel the 3rd round a little bit, hitting this guy with everything he has cause he refuses to lose this fight.

i mean- everyone watched him get up at the start of the round with a set jaw and a scary determined glint in his eye. he’s not a person you fuck with, and he’s definitely not a person you publicly ridicule before being locked in a cage to fight with

the guy he’s fighting is absolutely battered, but he manages to survive until round 4. the first of the championship rounds, something al’s never seen in a ufc fight before, and it feels like the arena is holding its breath

so when al comes out and does the same thing as round 3 to better results - fight ending results - everyone’s a little shocked, honestly

the commentary team’s in disbelief, cause albert is NOT a slow starter, regardless of what this fight would tell you, and the fact he managed a win at all, let alone such a phenomenal one, is fucking astounding

he gets his hand raised, obviously, but the really interesting part is the post fight interview

“albert, man, what changed between round 2 and 3? what second gear did you find?”

“bro, i just— it was pissing me off, honestly. i don’t come in here to get pinned down for 25 minutes. and, y’know, my team gave me good advice. i had all the pieces, straight from the jump, someone just had to force me to put them in place…”

and then he looks over at race, who gives al one of those half grin, half smirks and winks at him, and al just chuckles to himself and finishes answering the question

“the thing that really forced my hand is race. i won’t get cheesy on you, but watching someone who loves and supports you through everything panic cause he’s scared for you - it’s a big motivator. everyone would figure out a lot more of my motivations if they went and watched race’s expressions back instead of whatever the hell i’m doing in here. he’s always been the brains, i’m just the brawn.”

and that’s a better answer than anyone was expecting, plus he’s just had the fight of a lifetime that’s probably earned him a title shot, so he’s done soon after that and gets to have his little in-cage celebration

he hugs his team and jack, who razzes him a little bit as per usual, and makes some dumb quip about going over tapes later like he’s a coach. and then comes race

he hugs him, all tender and cute and also very sweaty cause That’s How It Works, and the camera’s focused on him, so they can tell they’re whispering back and forth. but there’s no mics on them, so what’s said is missed entirely on the audience, but it’s their usual cheesy, in love mess

“congrats, baby. i’m proud of you.”

“oh please. it was 90% you anyway. i meant what i said, it wasn’t just for the cameras.”

“i know that. i’m gonna have to get you back somehow for telling everyone to go back and watch my awful anxious expression. i’ll think of something.”

“i’m sure you will, sweetheart.”

and then al does that awful, adorable lil nose bump thing, and then kisses race. and then jack covers his eyes and whines until they stop like the actual 12 year old boy he is inside

and then they leave the octagon, race and al holding hands, and al throws his arm over jack’s shoulder and shoves his head down and pushes him, cause even though he was just in a literal cage match he’s still a roughhousing teenager at heart

and he’s got interviews and press shit that separates him from his people, and he’s gotta slide that bulletproof mask back down over all the happy and in love shit he’s feeling so he can not smile like an idiot on camera constantly

but every once in awhile he’ll catch jack giving him the finger and laugh before returning it below view of the camera

or he’ll catch race’s eye from where he’s standing behind all the studio lights and do a little wave under the camera and return the wink from earlier, and the unbothered fighter facade will crack a little bit

but he’s not completely convinced that’s such a bad thing

GOD THIS POST IS SO MUCH LONGER THEN I MEANT IT TO BE IM SORRY

but Yeah. Them.

i love this au a helleva lot more than i should but that’s Fine cause i’ve got thoughts for days on it

[ljbrary]

2021 fic review 🤠

tysm for the tag AB!! @anxiety-banana 😊

now sit tight while i overshare 🥰✨

total number of completed works: 18! wow i know thats not a lot in the grand scheme of things but its more than i was expecting considering last January i was proud of myself for posting 2 fics 😭

total word count: on ao3, 65,292! but thats not including wattpad or wips ive done this year, so hold on one moment.... 

oh... oh wow... i have more words in wips than i do in posted works and it comes to about a whopping 67,271 words but thats not including stuff in my notes app or on paper because im too lazy to go through that lmao

but anyway that puts the rough total at... 132,563 words holy crap i need to get a life-

looking back did you write more, less, or the expected amount of fic this year?: MORE DEFINITELY MORE LAKSDJLJDS,F i didnt really expect to write at all really so yeah definitely a lot more

your own favorite story of this year?: dont- dont ask me to choose something i am the most indecisive person i know- especially when all the options are bad ones

okay in all seriousness id say weighted words hurt more than loaded fists (if you know how to use them) because its three of my all time favorite things: rex and ahsoka brotp, pure and unrefined angst, and modern aus. 

did you take any writing risks this year?: um id say posting my writing to begin with? considering im mortified of people finding out about this lmao (eg. this summer when my older brother sent this text to me after finding my wattpad, tumblr, and ao3: “so I just found out you’re a fucking nerd. the jig is up.” with a screenshot of my tumblr page and i wanted to either kill my brother or myself but unfortunately chose to do neither and just panicked by digging up blackmail to hang over his head 🤩

do you have any fanfic goals for the new year?: idk, nothing too big probably, but i really really really want to finish some of the wips im super excited about, like this angsty modern au one shot i started like last feb/march featuring anakin and ahsoka that i have sitting in my google docs with no discernible plot yet and 16,110 words 

most popular story of the year?: in terms of kudos/hits, lean on me (but let me laugh, first). basically, ahsoka purrs in her sleep, and everyone finds it very amusing (except for her). ill be honest i dont like this one; i dont like the writing but ig people seem to like it well enough?? somehow the only angst-free fic i wrote is my most popular and idk how that tracks but it does ig

in terms of how people have received my fics, ive been told by people that they like it’s not good grief (but it’s better) which is just anakin and ahsoka post wrong jedi arc (and angst, per usual)

story most under-appreciated?: id say weighted words hurt more than loaded fists (if you know how to use them) because its pretty much at the bottom of my stats on ao3 for both kudos and hits yet it if i had to choose one i like the best it would probably be that one

most fun story to write?: OOOH DEFINITELY MY CRIME AU SERIES JSKDHFS

trust goes both ways (or neither) its not the most glorious of writing but hey it was so so so fun to plan and write and- oh hey author look! its not done yet! (im sorry i promise i havent forgotten about it skjdhfdsljfk sorry AB @anxiety-banana 😭)

most unintentionally telling story?: idrk what this question is supposed to mean in all honesty but maybe im just dumb but im still gonna pretend i know how to answer it

maybe when there is nothing left but us (and of course it had to be you)??? because its my first fic on ao3 and yeah i guess thats kind of self explanatory. its basically an order 66 au where (spoiler alert), rex sacrifices himself for ahsoka to escape, and in the process maul tags along -- uninvited, as always. 

biggest disappointment?: myself

sorry i couldnt help it it was asking for it.

i guess id say the road to hell is paved with good intentions because i planned it all out and then never worked on it again which sucks because its totally something i want to read but ig thats not happening anytime soon 💀

biggest surprise?: all of them. im not kidding. none of them were planned and all of them were the product of both poor life decisions and even poorer executive functioning skills.

but maybe i’m not here to save you (you will save yourself)?? because its a six of crows fic and id only written star wars stuff until that point, which was in fact like four weeks ago so-

no pressure tags: (sorry if youve already been tagged haha) @ashgryff @ahsokryze @lynnpaper @hannah-schooler @dashedwithromance and anyone else who wants to do it!! 😊

[dripkingpetey]

love-e.pettersson

ive been working on this for a few days and im kinda proud of it! would love some feedback from you or requests for other story lines, i promise i’ll stop doing the friends to lovers storylines haha. i also accidentally deleted this and i was so sacred i couldnt get it back but here it is! i hope you enjoy.

*lowercase intended!*

2.2k words

he loves you, you know that right?

“why did you drag me here, i really don’t like hockey and you know that.” you said as you sighed to your bestfriend lucie while she pulls you down to your seats in rogers arena. 

“i know you don’t.” lucie said with a bright smile on her face. “but, you’re gonna learn to like it.” you look at her in confusion. “so, this is your way of torturing me as if you don’t already torture me enough by bringing me to parties.” you said while sitting down and looking at the players who are starting to get on the ice. “maybe.” lucie said with a wide grin and a mischievous look on her face before puck drop starts.

you’ve never been big on hockey, which is surprising considering you have lived in vancouver your whole life and your family is super big hockey fans. you also aren't the most extroverted person. sure, you’d go out to bars sometimes but mostly just with your close friends.

“what part of this sport do you even like?” you said as the game is going into the third period the canucks are now up 4-1 against the opposing team which you don’t even really know who they are. “well, if I’m being honest some of them are really hot but mostly cause of the sport.” you scoffed at her response. “none of them are hot from where i can see.” lucie looked at you with a shocked look. “oh you’ll get it once you get to know the players more.” you give her a confused look and put your full attention back to the game.

-

canucks ended up winning the game 5-2, lucie was very happy about it and you could tell cause she wanted to go out for a couple drinks and you didn’t want to say no so you agreed to go.

you had been at the bar for about twenty minutes and lucie was already gone which isn’t surprising, she was probably sleeping with some guy right now.

you started to panic a little when a creepy old dude came up to you and started hitting on you. “hey pretty girl, want to come home with me?” he started putting his hand on your arm which was resting on the table. you look around for lucie in panic but she’s no where to be found. 

you then feel a pair of arms sneak around your waist and you get even more freaked out. 

“hey babe, sorry i was gone for so long.” elias says to you with a smile but then proceeds to give the creepy dude the alien death stare which worked. after the dude leaves elias faces you and starts speaking. “sorry i touched you like that, it looked like you were alone and that guy was creeping you out so i thought you could use some help.” he shoots an apologetic smile at you. 

“its okay,” you give him a smile back. “thank you a lot actually, i have no idea where my friend went.” you take another look around the bar before looking back and him. 

“i’m elias by the way.” he smiles at you while holding his hand out for you to shake it. “y/n.” you say before shaking his hand. 

“so elias, what are you doing in this bar on a thursday night?” you gesture for him to sit down next to you. “if i told you, you wouldn’t believe me.” elias lets out a soft laugh while sitting down across from you. “tell me, i wanna know.” elias sighs lightly before he starts speaking again. “i’m with them,” he gestures over to brock, jake, quinn, thatcher and troy. you look over to see them all waving at you and laughing at elias, you laugh softly and wave back at the before turning your attention back to elias. “ah, so i’m guessing you’re on the canucks?”

elias lets out a nervous laugh. “yeah, why don’t we go somewhere else where the boys aren’t up my ass?” you take another sip out of your drink. “i would love to.” he holds out his hand for you and as you guys walk out you can hear the guys chirping, but when you look over to elias you can see him giving the death stare to the boys and it makes you laugh. “you have a scary death stare jeez.” elias leads you to his car. “that’s surprisingly what the fans love me for.” he smiles at you before opening the car 

door for you.

-

“…and that’s all what led me to being on the canucks.” elias said to you while eating a chip out of the chip bowl you had prepared. it had been a couple hours since you guys left the bar and went back to your apartment, you don’t know why but it felt like you and elias had such a strong bond already that you both felt like you can talk for hours and hours and never get tired of each other, he felt the same way too. “jeez, i kinda sound like a douche. i’ve been talking about myself all night, please tell me more about you.” elias said to you while you laughed at his words. 

“it’s all good, i’ve been the one asking questions anyways.” you smiled while responding to him. “no seriously, tell me something about you before i have to go which i really don’t want to by the way.” 

you look at the time and realize its almost twelve am so you proceed to give him a quick response. “well, i’ve lived in vancouver my whole life. and i’m currently going to ubc as a nursing student.” you smiled at his now very amused face. 

“see, that’s something i wouldn’t have known if you didn’t say it,” he laughs a little before he finishes his sentence. “can i get your number? i have practice early tomorrow morning but i’m free for the rest of the day if you want to hang out.” 

you smile at his words and take his phone from him. “of course you can, i’m free tomorrow too just give me a call.” you said while handing his phone back to him after you’ve entered your number. elias gives you a wide grin and you both get up so you could walk him to the door. “goodnight elias.” you look up at him with a smile as he’s standing in the doorway. “goodnight y/n, sweet dreams.” he said and then started to walk down the hallway towards the elevator. “pettersson!” you called out at him and he turns around confused. “text me when you get home.” he gives you the thumbs up and you close your door and head to bed. 

no ones ever shown this much attention to elias before, at least no one he’s truly cared about. 

he smiled to himself on his drive home cause he was excited to text you again.

*contact name changed to “y/n<3”* 

text message to y/n<3:i just got home, thank you for the awesome night :).

-

it’s been a couple weeks since you and elias had met at the bar, you basically hung out with each other anytime you could. 

you were each others best friends at this point, sure the guys would make fun of elias for being in love with you but you couldn’t see it, elias knows he has some feelings for you but he wasn’t sure about it yet. he also didn’t want to risk the amazing friendship you guys had started.

“hey, are you coming to the game tonight?” elias asked over the phone to you.

you let out a sigh before you start speaking. “i’ll try, schools been really hard lately but i should be able to finish studying tonight.” elias could hear the tiredness in you voice and it hurt him to see you like this. “y/n, its okay. you don’t have to try and make it, focus on school its way important. you have many more games of mine that you can watch.” he left out a soft chuckle at the end of his sentence. 

“i’ll still try though, i’ll give you a text if i can make it.” you said to him as you looked at the last large text book you had to read through and look at the giant pile of coffee cups surrounding your desk. 

“okay, love you, i gotta go.” “love you too e, good luck.” you both quickly exchanged goodbyes as you started reading your last text book. you knew there was no way you were going to be able to make it to his game tonight and you felt really bad, you sighed it off as you put your attention back to studying and occasionally looking at the canucks game that was now playing on your tv.

-

the game had ended, canucks lost by one but petey is a sore loser so obviously he was sad, which made him show up at your apartment, he brought pizza from your favourite place downtown.

you were passed out on the couch though, which resulted in elias having to pull out his spare key and sneaking into your apartment.

“elias?” you mumbled out as you felt him sit next to where you were laying on the couch, he motioned for you to lay you head on his lap and you did.

“hey sleepy girl, i brought our favourite pizza.” he said to you with a smile. no matter how bad of a day elias was having, you could always make him smile.

you positioned your head so you’re now facing up at him and you give him a big smile. “thank you, can we snuggle and watch a movie?” elias starts rubbing your cheek softly. “of course we can y/n.”

the night ended with you and elias falling asleep on the couch together while watching a movie he had picked out, you both forgot about all the stress from today and just enjoyed the moment.

-

“he loves you, you know that right?” brock said to you as he came by and sat next to you.

it was the start of summer, tanev decided to host a little barbecue for the whole team before everyone left vancouver and went back to their home towns for the summer.

you were sitting in the backyard watching elias talk to huggy. “what?” you said to brock with confusion. “no he doesn’t.”

brock scoffed at your response. “dude, you can’t be serious. how do you not see it.”

you thought about what brock said for awhile before you gave him a response. “does he talk about me?” you looked at brock while taking a sip of your drink. 

“does he talk about you? of course he fucking does y/n, all the time. especially when you don’t show up to our games, it’s worse when we’re on the road.” 

you smile to yourself at what brock said.

-

you were quite tipsy by the end of the night and elias didn’t want to let you go home alone, so you spent the night at his place.

“elias?” you said in your sweet drunken tone as you both settled into his bed, and you faced your body in his direction. 

“yes?” he said while playing with your hair softly. 

“brock said something to me earlier,” you said while pulling your body close to his.

 “of course he did,” he said with a sigh. “what’d he say this time?” 

“apparently you talk about me a lot?” you said with a soft laugh and your fingers now tracing up and down his back.

“yeah, yeah i do. i talk shit about you all the time.” he says sarcastically knowing where this conversation was going.

“hey!” you said as you playfully punched him. “i was going to do something but i guess not anymore.” you said with a huff.

he lifts your chin up to face him. before you knew it you guys were kissing each other, it was a soft, long and sweet kiss.

elias pulled away with a big grin on his face and you did too. you talked to each other for the rest of the night, you ended up falling asleep before elias did but he did too shortly after.

you woke up to the smell of elias making waffles, you hugged him from behind and he didn’t even notice you were awake until you did that.

“it smells really good,” you said to elias before kissing his cheek and begging for him to hug you. 

he pulls you into his grip and whispers in your ear. “do you wanna go to sweden with me for the summer?”

you look up at him with slight shock. “yeah, why not.” you said to him with a smile and he gets very excited and spins you around, you kiss for awhile until you smell something burning and you pull away.

“shit.” elias mumbles as he deals with the burnt waffles and you’re both laughing your asses off.

[sevenincubistolemyheart]

I saw you call yourself a teen wolf slut so with that in mind who is your favorite/least favorite teen wolf character and why👀😏

Gasp!

You...ooh this is so hard!!

Teen Wolf is actually my favorite show of all time so...I can't help myself I'm doing top 3 favorites and top 3 least IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER i can't choose between my 3 loves-

Okay, here we go! Hope this is to your liking anon!

Favorites:

Stiles Stillinski(but especially Void):

Ohhh Stiles. Dylan O'Brien is still my favorite actor of all time to this day for this role. The one actor I follow and watch every movie he's in. What a genius. I'm serious.

His body language? Spot on. Expressions? Memorable as heck. Line delivery? Amazing. Acting ability? Astronomical.

Normal Stiles already had such a fucking RANGE; from sarcastic and funny to depressed to excitable to hateful. Ugh. Brilliant. And then Void came in and it was like something in him literally snapped. I've still never seen anything like it. He looks so...so at home in his role as Void. Part of what makes him unnerving as shit in my opinion.

Truly masterful.

...and yet another one to owe my fear kink to after Scream and Billy Loomis. Blame him for Void being in Tainting Purity. Important to note that although his name is Void and he uses Dylan O'Brien as a face claim he actually isn't the one from the show. He's still his own character. I just...had to use Dylan because he was so perfect. 😅

Allison Argent:

I made the tough decision to replace Aidens spot on this list with my girl. She's...so me it hurts. Her monologue about not wanting to weak is still something I'll go watch when I feel lost. All the female characters of this show helped shape a lil piece of who I am but she had the biggest relatability at first and damn did it stick. Right to the very end. 😭

Issac Lahey:

So...Issac was a BIG self comfort for me. Nearly every character in this show can and is that for me but him especially shhh. Isaac's story deeply touched me with his father. I went through some stuff as you guys may have seen earlier today although not physical or half as intense as Issacs. It still served as this reminder that I wasn't alone.

And seeing him develop connections, slowly open up, fight through his trauma to create HIS family?

Damn. That shit got me.

Also; I may have been desperate to be ler'd and/or absolutely reamed by him and Aiden since that one scene in the track field. Curse my love of Bully/Bullied but sign me tf up- give me a protective, friend Issac which Aiden picks up on and then wants her for himself. Competition endues until eventual threesome at Readers behest.

Least Favorite(This kinda turned into a second fave list whoops-)

Little note that I find something to like in nearly every character so even the people here have good in some regard!

Gerard:

Ah Gerard. There from the beginning there to the end. What a crafty son of a gun...lucky for us Scott was craftier and had his friends to back him up hn?

His first use with the Kanima was probably my favorite but he was just...so evil ugh. And not in the good way. It was between him and Monroe and he won out since he was around so much longer.

Peter:

...Peter is that guy everyone hates to love but does anyway XD. His dry sarcasm and banter with Stiles are iconic- BUT his morals are grey as shitttttt. And he's selfish as Hell. Which I mean, fair. But still.

Theo:

Okay I needed to get my evil sadist baby on the list somehow okay-!? I fear him and I love that he makes me scared and feeds my filthy fear kink gonna be honest. Was in love from the very first twist scene with his "parents". Need to be wrecked by him and Void yesterday!

...maybe I have a lil bit of a villain threesome need with this show whoops 🤷‍♀️

Honorable mention to Ducalion because Gideon Emery is another fave of mine(him, Cody(Theo) and Tyler(Derek) actually just worked together on FF7 remake fun fact. I screamed and was so proud they all killed it!) And his ark was AMAZING. That ending with Scott? PLEASE.

Same to Ethan, and more begrudgingly Jackson. Didn't really earn it thanks to the lack of screen time but I'll give it to 'im cause of Ethan and that iconic scene from the last season as well as their chemistry.

Let's see...oh Derek and Lydia of course. Scott as well as Melissa. Gods, Chris too...too many good characters like I said 🤣.

...Also Danny. My baby boy deserved better. Much as I loved my 2nd gay baby Corey Danny was the OG and we never got any explanation for why he knew about supes. I headcanon that he's a Seer personally!

Okay this got super long! Hope you like it dear anon like I said it's my fave show so fee free to ask anything you like! I have tons of fandoms guys so chat me up about Miraculous Ladybug, Undertale, Xenoblade Chronicles 1 and 2(haven't finished 1 yet but have 2), Scream(horror in general), and Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts and Zelda games! Oh and The World Ends With You of course!

Okay have a great day y'all gonna doze but I'll answer everything when I'm back up at 7!

I'm looking forward to lots of asks hopefully~

[patchofsunlight]

what got you into writing, what's your favourite piece you've written so far and hows your day going bb!!

hey!!! okay so!!! when i was really young (think 7, 8 years old, literally just after learning how to write) my school had mandatory creative writing classes for thinking and writing skills development, right? and we were writing random stuff like twice a week and we could choose the topic and everything and there was no restraints it was just for us to write more and train writing yk??? and i thought it was fun and all but at the same time i didn’t really care about it UNTIL when i was in fourth grade and we had to write a piece about brazilian folklore and i wrote about a native legend that related to thunder and lightening and shit like that and then my teacher was like “anna that’s an amazing story!!! how did you think about that!!!” and my 9 year old self was like “idk” and she was like “it’s great!!!! read it for the class!!!!” and i said no because i was shy so my best friend read my story for the class in my place LMAOOO and idk after being told that i was actually good at writing i just got super into it and started writing all the time about many things and i wrote some bad poetry at some point and short stories ALL THE TIME and i even started some real books but never finished them because i was literally 11 LMAOOOO and a while later i started writing character x ocs fan fiction and i wrote that for literal YEARS until july of this year when i tried my hand at x reader stuff and??? i guess that was it??? and i just ended up keeping the hobby for a long time and i really like it even tho im not the best and still think i have a lot to work on regarding my writing. this got super long i’m SORRY but yeah!!! sorry for talking too much oof

i’m gonna be brutally honest right here i don’t have a favorite piece of writing because i don’t really particularly like anything i write LMAOOO like it’s not bad it’s just also not amazing and i’m okay with it. HOWEVER i’m working on a bakugou series and i have so little for it but there’s this one part where the main character is rebuilding a house of cards that her brother knocked over and the symbolism?????? i’m proud of myself for that one i love it

my day has been good!!! i went to the doctor earlier but everything’s fine and then i played among us a bit and am writing rn!!! i had a bit of a problem during the morning but i’m okay now. i’m just HUNGRY AF because i didn’t eat all day besides lunch LANEJJFIWKDKWOS

what about you??? how has your day been?????

ask me 3 things you want to know about me!!!

[lucifers-trash-stash]

Hello, Merry Christmas! How are you doing and I hope you are having a good Christmas. How is RFM going?

Hey anon, thank u for ur kind wishes! Not gonna lie things have been super stressful this holiday season but im trying not to dwell on it too much. A lot of it is trying my very best to take care of myself mentally and physically during this time.

As for RFM, I will be honest and say I haven't touched it in a long time. One of the main reasons was simply because I got burned out on it as well as burned out on the MCU in general. I wish I was able to write more of the fic before Endgame came out because that movie kind of just let so much down for me plot and storytelling wise and really bothered me for a while. And thats ultimately why I needed to take a breather from it, and while I still am going to say I will finish RFM I REALLY genuinely don't know when that will be. And considering the state the world is in and me trying to figure out what I'm doing in my life, I'm just trying to focus on what makes me happy and follow what does that.

I'm a lot more active on my horror sideblog, @lucifers-horror-harem and I've let a lot of lovely people and honestly getting back into horror movies has been one of the best things for me lately. I've always loved horror movies and going back to my roots makes me feel a lot better as well as revisiting those characters that made me so happy before and finding new ones. I actually finished my entire kinktober prompt list (in December but I still finished) and it made me feel so accomplished and proud of what I had written.

So im sorry thats probably not the answer you want but thats the answer for now. Like I said I won't say RFM is dropped because I never know how my interests will suddenly spike or not, but I will say that it probably won't be any time soon. Sorry to the people that have been waiting. I hope I have a better answer in the future. But taking care of myself and my mental health is first and foremost and im going to do everything I can to keep me happy.

[rosalesbeausderholle]

congrats on finishing ur degreee!!!! ive had to take like 3 breaks form mine bc mental illness and im still in undergrad @ 23 and sometimes i feel like it's never going to fucking end but seeing you finsh your degree is AMAZING!! it's corny but i feel inspired lmao.

Thank you!! But honestly, don't worry, and do your best to enjoy the ride, I wish I could have more time at uni tbh!!

This is hard to fully internalize because our culture is obsessed with the idea of success and higher education = success, but the way we need to look at it is that, other than because of economic concerns, it really doesn't matter WHEN you finish university. It's one thing to be worried that you can't afford to take more time to finish, either bc you need a job now or bc you can't pay to stay longer, or bc of what scholarships are available to you, etc; and another to worry about feeling like a failure because you didn't finish "on time".

If me and my two closest friends had done uni "right" we all should have finished by now. Instead one friend dropped out of one degree to start another and then got stuck and took another whole year to finish her dissertation; and then the other one didn't even finish our last two years of high school (here school is compulsory until you're 16 and the next two years are basically uni preparation) and instead decided to take the long way round to university by doing vocational training, which took her another four years, but now she's gonna be arriving at her teaching degree, starting it at 23, with some teaching qualifications ALREADY under her belt.

Then I also have a cousin for whom high school was super hard, and he also arrived two years "late" to starting university. Well guess what? He got two degrees! Law AND Philosophy, which are both super hard! He's probs one of the most accomplished people in our family and he was a "failure" at high school (he wasn't, he was just bad at some subjects which he failed but very good at others, aka like... everyone in the world). My own father didn't even finish high school at first, just decided to go straight to work as a field laborer, but then he thought that knowing more about growing vegetables would help him, so at 26 he decided to finish high school by taking night classes while working to finance all his studies and THEN he went to university and graduated with honors and THEN he got not one but TWO master degrees (the second of which he finished when he was 40!!).

So really, don't ever feel bad for being "already" 23 and still being undergrad!!! I am too. I just finished (well have some exams left but after my dissertation those will be a breeze) my own bachelor's degree. University is hard, by definition, and it gets extra hard when you have problems with mental health. Focus on yourself, on doing this for your own fulfillment, but also having the best time of it!! Me, my break was very hard on my self esteem, still now it's hard thinking about it for too long because it was such a hard time in my life, but I know if I had forced myself to not drop out that year that a) I wouldn't have switched schools, so I'd have stayed in the same school where most of my bullies were while being depressed. When I switched schools I still had that reputation but I ended up in a class of really really nice people, and that helped A LOT not only with actually finishing high school but with getting into university on my chosen degree with a really really high grade (which I needed). Plus, I wouldn't have been in the same year as my uni friends, and I'm so glad I met them. When life closes one door at you it always always opens another.

You need to be proud of yourself, not only are you getting a degree, which is hard by itself, but you also are getting one despite having already taken several breaks due to mental health! Just ONE was traumatic for me and had me reassessing my whole life! The fact that you've done that three times but still have the strength to go out is honestly, inspiring. You deserve a standing ovation imo and I mean that.

You'll get your degree friend, I know it, just do your best to have the best time of it and to take care of your mental health as much as possible. It'll be a lot more satisfying and you'll feel a lot happier in the long run if you do it slowly but surely than if you hurt yourself by trying to do more than you can. I believe in you! Good luck!!!

[vivienna-vivid]

The masters of Red have no personalities so I made them up.

Feend vor Sembren

Ah yes, Nasuverse!Edgeworth

Strict AF college professor who actually cares about his students. They affectionately call him “Professor Fiend”.

W O R K A H O L I C

A total romantic who loves his wife and son. If only he made a habit of actually coming home…

Did you know this man is 52??? Did you know his son Fezgram is 24???

The only one here who knows how to be a functional member of society.

Pretty heavy smoker, so he has a raspy voice.

Surprisingly, Feenie’s a connoisseur of wine. Kayneth introduced him to a lotta high-end alchohol in their college days.

Yes, he knew Kayneth. They were good friends before Kayneth bit the dust.

I dare you to make vore jokes in front of him. I dare you. You’ll die but at least it’ll be fun.

Listens to a lot of 70s-80s bands. In case you’re wondering, he’s a big fan of Queen and Fleetwood Mac.

Pretty technologically advanced for a mage. His pragmatism towards technology was inspired by a certain gun-wielding magus killer.

Was married into the Vor Sembren family. Since he was born a poor boy, he’s always trying to prove himself.

His parents were Chinese Singaporeans, so he’s fluent in Mandarin.

Feenie’s magecraft focuses on transmutation. With select materials, he can transmute one thing into another. He mainly uses his magecraft to heal wounds and create pseudo organs and flesh.

Has at one point intimidated a person by showing them a transmuted heart and lying that it’s theirs.

His wish for the Grail is… Well, he plans to give the Grail to the Association, so he doesn’t particularly care about the Grail.

It’s to run away from mage society with his family

Rottweil Berzinsky

OH BOY LOOK AT THIS DISASTER.

Australian. Because of that, he has a noice Australian accent.

S H A R P   T E E F S

Man’s been in too much explosions

His Crowley-esque shades hides his lizard eyes.

“If I’m gonna do horrible things, at least I can make them FUN”

Think: Steve Irwin but borderline psychopath.

Is surprisingly good with kids! Rott’s the kinda guy who’d chastise a child for being mean and/or rude, but would teach them how to stab assholes. “Y’see a weird man offering candy from his van. Wha’dya do? Shank ‘im!”

Man’s a natural prankster. He’ll prank E V E R Y O N E and A N Y T H I N G.

Likes: Sunbathing. Hates: Cold weather and winter.

Thinks Gene Rum is a cooooooooooooold bitch with a stick up her arse.

Gene and Rott has some history. Both tend to be employed by the same people.

Rott may be a murderer, but he has standards! No killing children, no harming children, if employer does anything to children he will kill them.

Has killed more employers than actual hit targets.

In the manga, Rott can change into silver lizard form. He doesn’t like changing his form since the more he uses that ability, the more monstrous and mindless he becomes.

Rott is indeed a Chimera, a mage who is able to turn into an animal to some degree. He didn’t become a Chimera from his own volition, so that’s also a reason why he rarely uses his ability.

As a Chimera, he’s gained some lizard perks even in his human form. For starters, his saliva is toxic and has lizard eyes. He also can shed his skin to heal certain wounds. In Chimera form, he’s covered in nigh-indestructible scales.

Rott was an orphan who was adopted by a mage named Zagreus Berzinsky. The man wanted to create mythical beast of yore by forcefully fusing children with all kinds of beasts. Rott was one of those children.

Rott was able to escape with a few kids. Eventually, they made their way to the Clocktower. While he himself never went to school, he 100% made sure his “younger siblings” are enrolled in the Clocktower. It’s for their safety.

His wish for the Grail is for an antidote for Chimeratization. Oh! And to kill off Zagreus too!

Gene (Jean?) Rum

Gene, short for Genevieve. (Or Jean, short for Jeanette)

Straight-laced lipstick lesbian.

Likes books because, unlike people, they’re actually engaging. Nah she’s just a bit awkward and self-conscious.

Grew up reading Shakespeare, Arabian Nights, and Grimm’s Fairy Tales.

Since she’s broken into Ivan the Terrible’s library at least once, I can tell you that she’s a professional lock-picker. Wizard who took a level in Rogue.

Fluent in many languages due to her time abroad.

Favorite Genre: Russian Literature

HAS PUBLISHED HER OWN POETRY BOOK!! Though, it’s under a pseudonym and bringing it up will make her really embarrassed.

Thinks Rottweil is a bITCH-ASS MOTHERFUCKER.

Gene doesn’t care much about the morality of her employers. As long as she gets paid, she won’t stick her nose in her employer’s business.

You’d think she’d have Mystic Eyes what with her chilling side-eye.

Loves puns but you’d be hard-pressed to get her to laugh at one in public.

Finished her education in the Clocktower but chose to lead a life of a mercenary. Her family was… pretty miffed.

Never attends family meetups.

Org Rum is her little brother and his presence turns on her latent Cain instincts.

Do you have your rival family’s documents? Do you want to ruin them by exposing these documents but they’re encrypted? HIRE GENE RUM TODAY!

Gene’s magecraft focuses of aeromancy, the control of wind.

Her most famous technique is the ability to make thread-thin tornado chakrams. Anyone who touches these tordano-wheels will get sliced. If she focuses a bit harder, she can imbue her chakrams with lightning.

She makes those storm-threads with a small buckler-sized spinning wheel she bring along. It’s her mystic code and she’s very protective of it.

Cabik Pentel

The current patriarch of the Pentel Clan, a family of esoteric assassins/mercenary group.

Hardly ever emotes so it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking.

But he’s usually very honest and won’t sugar nor exaggerate his words.

The only reason he’s can understand other people (to a degree) is because his brother is such a good person.

Yeah, Cabik loves his brother very much. And as such, he loves his brother’s twin daughters. He’s somewhat of a cool uncle to them.

Doesn’t quite know how he feels about being patriarch since the clan is awful as all hell. He’s good at being an assassin, so he’ll continue the work in the meantime.

BOY ONLY KNOWS HOW TO KILL PEOPLE HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO HUMAN, BLESS HIM.

Proud father of houseplants and a cat

Q: Weren’t you and your brother called “The Gum Brothers” in college?

A: ………………………………………Ah. So you’ve chosen death.

How many daggers does this man have? A LOT

Seriously, you’d think he has a limit to how many daggers he can carry but. No. He just… fucking pops out another pair if the ones he’s using are lost.

His twin knives are called Rahu and Ketu and he loves them very much.

The Pentels specialty magecraft is body modification. Cabik uses this to make his body pliable as fuck.

This bitch can basically make his body have the consistency of a ferret’s.

Need to dodge? Fuckin’ dislocate your spine! Gutted? Move your organs upwards to not make them fall!

Deimlet Pentel

The older brother of the Pentel siblings. Supposed to be the next family patriarch but left that position for his brother.

Big teddy bear man. Big teddy bear wrestler man.

“HAHAHA!! I AM HERE!!” -Deimlet (and totally not All Might)

Divorced man of two daughters. BUT!! HE STILL LOVES HIS EX-WIFE VERY MUCH!!!

“I may want to remarry my ex-wife. Or not, haha……. Unless…;)?”

Stronk dad to stronk daughters. He taught them how to wrestle and….. he’s so proud of them ;’)

MADE OF LITERAL SUNSHINE!! IF YOU SEE THE SUN IN MIDNIGHT, YOU MIGHT BE LOOKING AT DEIM!!

Super protective of his mustache. It’s his magnum opus so do nOT MESS IT UP

Legitimately hates the Pentels, but still loves his baby bro.

Q: Weren’t you and your brother called “The Gum Brothers” in college?

A: What? I didn’t hear you there! Mind *cracks fingers* saying that again?

While he married out of love, his responsibilities as heir-apparent (and assassin) made him incredibly distant to his family. 

When he was tasked to kill his then-wife’s brother’s family, he did so with much hesitation. Because of that, his brother-in-law nearly killed him and ended up dying anyway.

His wife was… not happy, to say the least. That’s why they divorced and she took the kids.

And that’s how he left the family! Killing, as it turns out, sucks ass!!

Good ending tho: he moved to Finland and started tutoring the Edelfelt kids in wrestling.

He’s… actually a masked wrestler there. He’s been on TV a bunch of times!

Joined the HGW mainly to make sure Cabik is doing fine.

Uses his family’s magecraft to super harden his body. 

You can’t gut this man ‘cause he made hIS BODY INTO LITERAL STONE!!

Man is just Indian Alex Louis Armstrong. Thatse it! He cannot change this!