#im going to start posting on Friday!!!
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Hey, yeah so it's slau's anniversary and I wanted to do something but I got something else going on rn so .... next week maybe
#im also like... so close to being done with the new pages#i just gotta color in the background#which i can do in a single sitting but i havent been able to sit down and do that#hopefully sunday or monday i can get that going and start posting the chapter next friday#dg rambles
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in honour of the dlc dropping today
click image for better quality
#also the words in runes and ancient greek say ghost of sparta#im not sure if the ancient greek is correct so if it isn’t don’t worry about it sweetheart#i encourage you to zoom in and stuff because a lot of the finer details got lost in the colouring#this and something else was supposed to be done for the anniversary but i kinda didn’t finish it in time#i started this in OCTOBER with the mimir portait😭😭😭#there are two more things to go with it#but since the other two have to go together i’m fine with just posting this on it’s own#rendering saves lives people#i’m actually so proud of this you don’t understand#in my mind i thought dec 12th was FRIDAY 😟 and not tuesday#the reason is only something the gods can answer#gow kratos#gow fanart#kratos#god of war ragnorak#god of war valhalla
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#dont know who else to talk to about this because it feels so personal but i feel anonymous on here#yesterday i had an ultrasound of my chest and they found something abnormal and ordered a biopsy#and its been on my mind every minute since then#the mass looks uncomfortably similar to the google images that pop up when u search 'malignant tumor'#and ive been doom scrolling on the breast cancer subreddit lmao#and im aware that its just stressing me out more but i couldnt stop and almost started crying#like the results could come back completely normal but.... im terrified of that not being the case#and i dont know how to deal with it until the actual procedure#its on friday but time is going so slow#all day ive been wanting to just blurt out my feelings to everyone ive talked to#but it feels so embarassing at the same time#so thats why im posting abt it on here i guess#i just literally dont know how to process my feelings rn
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The only thing bringing me comfort is the fact that I'll get holiday pay next week since I work Christmas + a little bit of Christmas Eve. So there's that I guess. But man missing a full week of work still fucking suuuucks
#shut up max#doing the math its like $420 (after taxes) im losing out on. plus how its gonna affect my bonus next month#siiiiigghhh#i kinda wanna try working tonight even tho i normally have Fridays off. but i know I shouldnt cause im not 100% better yet#just like 85% better#might just go workout at the gym tonight now that our gym is 24/7#technically its been 24/7 for a few months now i just didnt know until recently. anyways#*$420 is how much im missing out on because im still gonna get like roughly $80 post tax#because i took a vacation day Sunday coincidentally before i got sick and those are paid#plus two hours this Sunday that technically count for this week in terms of the pay period even tho its the start of MY work week#tho the vacation day got paid out weird since it was for a Sunday#instead of two hours going to one week and six going to the other like it normally pays for a Sunday#it paid four hours last week and im gonna get the other four hours this upcoming paycheck. so a little weird but still
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good news and bad news.
good: did get in to see the doctor on friday, got some meds, attacking this shit from many angles, feeling much better already!
bad: feeling perhaps a little TOO better, considering it's 1AM and i'm fucken WIRED lmao
#text#personal#forreal i need these to kick the inflammations ass but i do NOT!!!! need to run a marathon about it!!!!!#im taking this one with lunch tomorrow instead of dinner 🤣#the antibiotics do make me nauseous on the recommended No Food (weird right????) so ive started doing With Food#i was also given an inhaler which ive been too scared to try because the third side effect is. DEATH.#on the plus side my heart rate IS significantly down from the baseline 1-fucken-30 it was on friday#unclear if that was period related in addition to being Illness And AnxieTea Related (yeah period started too)#anyway i no longer want to die about it but i do want to go climb a tree so.#ALSO THE X RAY RESULTS SAID NO ABNORMALITIES except hyperinflated lungs slightly lmaoooo#anyway heres a bunch of personal howling into the void dont mind me#i fucken hate infections 🫠#p sure this is post covid bullshit
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seriously though if you want to look into vtubers, or are looking for new or more vtubers/streamers to watch, or if you're just looking for something to watch in general, please check out the holostars. there's 10 of them in the english branch rn and they've all got such different personalities and senses of humor and streaming styles that its pretty likely you'll find at least one whose streaming content and community you vibe with. plus they're all very close so whenever they collab with each other those streams are always entertaining, and they stream with others outside of stars pretty often as well
since they're part of hololive productions that means they're also virtual idols as well, so if you like music they have several original songs and plenty of covers to check out! (axel and hakka have the most, octavio is catching up to them, and all the others have at least one cover each except ruze and goldbullet, though both of them are in armis' debut original and new year's cover (also i think one of them hinted recently they're working on a cover? but now i cant remember if it was goldie or ruze omg both of them i usually listen to at work so now i cant remember who said it))
also also the second generation, tempus vanguard, are getting their 3D models now, it's very exciting! bettel's showcase was the other day and is a very great example of the kind of show he likes to put on so check that out if you're interested (he was exteremly nervous at the beginning but did hit his stride by halfway through so keep that in mind, haha). flayon and hakka's showcases will be this weekend and are sure to be a blast as well, with shinri's showcase and the celebration collab with all 4 of them (and mostly likely some other guests) are going to be the following weekend!
#there's also 13 members of the japanese branch but since i dont know japanese i dont watch them /as/ much#i'll watch as many special streams as i can (meaning.... when they aren't in the middle of the night or like ass o'clock in the morning)#and also when one of the en boys raids one of the jp boys i'll stick around an amount of time depending on what time it is#but definitely check them out as well they're also all really hardworking and cool. at the very least there TONS more originals#and covers from the jp boys and you dont need to know japanese to appreciate music so definitely give some of them a listen#rikka does have an english version of his first original song re:hello world#so that may be a good place to start (his voice is beautiful. we love rikka)#speaking of ass o'clock the 5th anniversary concert is this saturday at 4am and hhhhhhh#imma try to go to bed early friday so it doesnt suck so much to wake up that early but im def gonna watch that live!#gonna be spending this week looping all their orignals so im more familiar with them cuz ive been slacking on doing that lol#vtuber posting
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well i finished rereading snuff! next is going postal
#my post#discworld#im reading going postal next#although i also need to get started rereading priory bc my friend book club meeting is friday
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Pulling an all nighter trying to hard reset the circadian rhythm on the one (1) day off of closing shift.
#nia post#i need to start going to bed as soon as i get home. so my goal is that if i reset myself and sleep good this night#then wake up at a reasonable (not 3pm) time. then when i get home at 3 30 thurs night ill be ready to crash#plus im not closing on friday#trying to de nocturnalize here#i need to go get milk i need a cup of tea so bad
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📺
#im watching fireball friday vods and lexiemarie...... she is so beautiful#her and harry are so funny they always make me wish i went out more often#u can tell i have a bunch of shit to do when im starting to watch streamers more again#avoiding the deadlines and all#i cant wait to be done with all of this uni stuff#i feel like lately ive been like. shutting down all the time i either do school stuff#avoid school stuff#or try to motivate and bribe myself to do school stuff#which means. spending too much money on food delivery or little treats or energy drinks or alcohol#not healthy at allll and i rly should leave the house more often#but it feels like all my energys going into these fucking deadlines#2 weeks and then its all done. hopefully#this post started as lexiemariex appreciation post and ended up as a vent post#ah well its been a while since ive overshared here anyway#my post#like. all of my energy is spent thinking of finishing the coursework. when im avoiding it or trying to do it#exhausting#anyway shes so beautiful#im watching coypiso fireball friday her shirt is gorgeousssss
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im so frustrated im about to rip all my (ugly) hair out
#ive been trying to fix my laptop's problems all day with no result. it just seems to be getting worse#thanks microsoft. thanks windows update.#i guess i gotta do a factory reset#and yeah i still hate my hair. i still haven't started packing bc of all this. i was supposed to do that today#guess im gonna try to fix my hair by myself which is probably not wise but idc at this point...#anyways im hoping that resetting my laptop would somehow get rid off all the pre-installed mcafee crap#bc ive been trying to remove it with no success#ok but maybe I'll just go to sleep and continue worrying in the morning#my flight is on friday i rlly don't need all this shit that's trying to ruin my plans#my posts
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i cant make polls still but just pretend this is one. did you miss me this past week
- yes
-no
- didn’t notice you were gone
- please fuck off again its been nice without you here
#i was going through it for a couple of days and then football just had me really pissedoff i didnt feel like posting#then i was gonna come back the other day but my mates cat died so i spent all evening crying as if it was my own cat#but im back and feeling better#going for a meal with my mates next friday which will be nice#still feel like i need more human interaction though lmao im gonna do an alex here and try and make plans on the dash#if anyones around in february and would like to do something please let me know jhdsghasgdhsgd#literally would just be happy going for a nandos i just wanna get out the house#but i also started studying for my work exam and erm. its not going well so thats also been getting me down tbh#but anyway! im back#stacey speaks
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fm funk fursday: jan 5th 2023
ok yeah its fm funk fursday now. ive decided because i can decide these things and what the hell am i supposed to do. not be insane about the new album i found yesterday? i am transfem; it's vital to my mental health that i do this. also im still on the initial wave of energy i get from my adderall. either way here's the song
#tooies favourite songs :3#fm funk friday#there i am making a sorting tag for this too. because im planning on doing more of this#it wont be like completely random songs but it also wont be like intentionally and carefully selected#its just gonna be a song ive been listening to lately that i like and feel like posting#especially songs i am listening to in the wee hours of the morning when i am high energy from adderall#so expect a lot of this album at least for a bit#though i might try to vary it a bit more. whos to say really!#i guess probably expect more variation between me getting new albums#ok im going to cut myself off now because i realize i have started to rambling. goopbye. have a tooie#wait also let me know if i should add commentary on the songs#cant add any on this album yet because im still learning and getting a feeling for it. but i might in the future#might also go back and edit this. wait FUCK im still rambling ok goopbye for real this time
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...
#i truely have so much anger built up inside me about my job. ive done a very good job of making it unbearable#and after taking a 10 day vacation. plus 2 days of not working bc im sick. i really dont wanna go back#i was planning to take 3 days to not do fucking anything but my boss just emailed me with some time sensitive#logistical things. so like i guess i gotta fucking do that tomorrow. i started reading the email and it made my head hurt#and she started it off like. hopw ur feeling better and i dont wanna cause stress but...#like bro. listen. if u tell me these things u put them in my head and i csnt stop thinking abt them until theyre done. and its not her#fault bc im the one that put myself in a place where im barely keeping it together. its just frustrating#bc it feels like hope u feel better but also kill urseld 💖 but again thats just how it feels bc im so. idk how to describe it im like in a#state of post burnout. im sitting in the ash. alone in a desolate landscape and its like jesus how tf do i fix this?#and i cant even run out my anger rn bc im sick. and i mean i have the energy to run i dont feel lethargic but like i doubt that would aid#recovery lol. ugh. 2 months. thats all. then i move away. assuming i find a place to live lol. bc i currently haven't yet#but whatever. assuming i get better quickly and dont get worse and dont get covid on top of this cold bc my dad got covid#it will have been a bit of a blessing i came back sick bc i have a clear justification for not working and for telling people to fuck off#when they ask for things from me. like today a lab mate asked if i could sample Monday. which it technically#a holiday but i probably would have said yes if i wasnt sick. and i would have had to teach undergrads some bullshit friday if i wasnt sick#instead i just did nothing all day bc i almost moved bsck my flight and didnt leave home until the weekend anyway#i guess its good i didnt bc then i would have been stuck in ohio bc my dad found out he had covid yesterday#idk its all just frustrating bc im halfway in a transition and im not doing very well but i cant do anything to fix things until i leave#the southwest. like i dont even kno if i have health insurance rn. my benifits change request was processed but like does thst mean it was#approproved? fucking idk. so everytime i do anything i imagine a worstcase scenario where i end up hospitalized and damned to an empty#bank account or eternal medical debt. tho my mum said they passed a law where they arnt allowed to do thst to u anymore 🤷♂️#whatever. im annoyed. i dont wanna work 😫#unrelated
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I try not to be mean but anytime that one employee does anything I get the overwhelming urge to just b like You Stupid Bitch
I'm so fuckin sick of her
#speculation nation#i could not go over every single instance of this bc it would take all day#like As Soon as we can hire smth else we r going to be firing her. already gotten confirmation from manager#its so hard to make me sick of someone like this but man she sure has done kt#this post brought to u by tbe fact that she claimed a cover from under me that i was hoping would let me switch shifts#so i could go to a family thing#and she messaged me again this morning like 'hey uh do you think you could cover after all? just realized i work that morning'#and im overwhelmed with tbe You Stupid Bitch bc a: why didnt you CHECK THAT B4 AGREEING????#and b: MESSAGE THE PERSON U WERE GONNA COVER INSTEAD OF MESSAGING ME. THE FUCK????#if she wants to take me up on it after all thats her choice!!!#but fuck dude it's not up to me to act as leeway between you!!!!!!#god. fuck. im. sofucking sick of her#and she didnt do any cold brew teas friday night so we ran out of green tea yesterday and had to emergency hot brew some#im still annoyed about that. and a million other things. like shut the fuck up girl ur inflated sense of ego has no place here#'i deserve to be a supervisor' lmfao right of course bc ur refusal to finish ur kitchen test so u can even start making drinks#is SOOOO appealing for ur ability to be a supervisor#'how soon can i be promoted“ YOU STUPID BITCH THERES A PROCESS!!!! YOU FINISH YOUR TRAINING FIRST#I HAVE NO IDEA WHY ITS SO HARD FOR HER TO WRAP HER HEAD AROUND IT. WE'VE TOLD HER MULTIPLE TIMES!!!!!!#so fucking sick of her. i am so fucking sick of her. i cant wait to hire someone else so she can be gone.#anyways hi im awake and complaining. hello.
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aight i think i can get another thing started tonight. i have two on my idea list im vibing with rn so im gonna throw them on the doc and see what happens
#i also might have to scrap this one thing from my idea list cause i have absolutely already forgotten what it was about lol#but yeah with that last thing posted thats one wip finished. so i can work on something else#keeping it within the belt corruption arc for now tho so stay tuned#probably wont be finishing anything else tonight since i cant go for too long tonight i have places to be tomorrow again#but im gonna get stuff started. i just like writing tonight idk#but anyways. feel free to come vibe into the ask box in the meantime. its friday lets talk#night is an absolute mess on main
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me, confidently strutting in 2 hours late because i didn’t check that there had been a time change and the service i went to was an outlier: i am here for services
#ive started to go to Monday services at my shul when i can because they’re so sparsely populated so im not worried abt covid like i am on#fridays or saturdays (which is when i go virtually)#and i didn’t realise that the one i went to two weeks ago was an outlier#it was not my best moment. it was slightly embarrassing#jumblr#my post
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