#im genuinely still so surprised how far this account has come? i posted my first Vox headcanon thinking itd get like maybe 1 or 2 likes and

[rubra-wav]

Hi!! Not the usual kind of ask I send here but I thought you’d maybe find it funny because I did-

I showed your Vox stuff to my friend who’s absolutely obsessed with him and they proceeded to say “what is this guy? The elder of Vox simpage?” Then they asked me if you ran a Vox ask blog because they thought your impression would probably be good judging by your headcanon posts on him

Also I think I forgot to send another ask after it but I literally loved the sketch of Vox and Atlas you did with him all tiny to my last ask 😭

Anyways, you have a good day or night or whatever it is where you are!!

HDHSNXJSNDBSJXBB BRO PLEASE 😭

Call me fucking president of the Vox simp club 💀/j

I mean may as well, my brain has thought more about him just on his own rather then in an x reader context more then it probably should have haha

God I should draw Atlas with a sign saying that and Vox's reaction to it NSBSN - damn there's sm i want to draw rn

Also I've never really thought about RPing as Vox? I like writing him and thinking of him in different scenarios with how I think he would act but never really thought about roleplaying him.

I take it as a compliment that your friend thinks i would portray him well but 🙏

[dreamerwitches]

RIGHT! I'm going to judge everyone with their doppel choices!!! Get ready for long post

In all seriousness, you're entitled to your own opinions and this is just a bit of fun. I'm genuinely interested to see the most popular doppels and I KNOW there are no set rules for the votes as the account has stated so peoples choices may be for gameplay etc etc. So, no meanness, right? It's all in jest (m-mostly...)

Giovanna time! I agree very muchee, I'm not a big fan of swimsuit Giovanna. Yeah she's cute but I dunno I just don't like the sail and that's such a big part of it. I understand why og and anime are equal cause anime Giovanna was FIRE and the new take on it in-game works well. Og deserves well because duh, its the og and anime deserves well too cause it's on par. But Infinite Giovanna ough, left the girls in the dust. Beautiful colours, beautiful combination of Giovanna and Shitori Egumo. She's beautiful and she knows it!

The first disagreement. Tanabata Campanella falls into the 'its too busy i dont have a clue whats going on and thats not a good thing' camp for me. Yes the colours are pretty but damn there's too much going on. And the colours on her spine bit are way too much overall. I get it but it's not for me. I'm glad my choice is second though. Historia Campanella is.... is not Campanella that's the eiffel tower and anime Campanella is just ugly. They removed the lantern which is such a good part of the og. the hint of red works so well and the ugly four shoes are a) large and ugly and b) dont fucking fit! The only thing i like is the hat but do i like it more than og? Not really, its on par

Alright THIS is my first 'um hello, what are you guys doing?' Tiracchana is awful, what are you on? I definitely feel the magis are affecting choice here cause I know Yuna is popular. I'm sorry but her doppel is shit. So ugly and such a mishmash of bad aspects. I'm sad Merkava is so low in comparison cause her theming is cool and she actually looks good. Done dirty... But like, how the fuck is halifax winning? She's just a fucking guillotine for petes sake... Im not a fan because it irks me but come on this is not the best design. Lakehurst done dirty waaa... she's such a cool mix of animal and machine and she works so well. Not too busy and has a clear theme. I suppose the only thing that isnt so great is the tongue since its colour sticks out so much. Very disappointed in everyone...

W-Why none of y'all like Marguerite?? What's she done wrong?! She'd be my second choice. I think Cuauhtitlan is fine but I struggle judging her since Im not knowledgable on the culture. But she does look very nice and the colours are good. I like Marguerite for her kinda castle/tank-y feel. The colours are nice and the structure is interesting! She kinda falls into 'this doesnt look like a witch and moreso an object' bracket but its not that bad... im so sad she's unpopular... Now im surprised at Halomonas. Its just boring man... and she's definitely 'this doesnt look like a witch and moreso an object'. Just nothing in it is particularly fun or cool, I just find her so boring. I suppose Alexandra's integration is good though, but otherwise... Unbased. But I'm very happy with Vlastenske! I looooove clowns!!! And she's super creepy and fun! You should be winning, sweetie

Sigh. Hepialidae is shit, what are you on? Moths are so important to the theme and story magireco and yet this rando has a moth witch? It's so out of left field and doesnt suit her theme as far as I know. I wanted her to be a vampire witch so bad back in the day... The colours are ruined by the leg parts too. Like hello? Where do those ugly purples and greens come from?! I suppose Kushu's integration is nice though. I understand Henrietta's low score. She falls into the object category but at least she's pretty. Sad about Don Rocinante though... I get she is a little boring but I do have metal bias... (looking at my fave Gisela... ) But compared to the others I still think she should be higher And man, I know Konomi is popular but... it... it's just flowers... c'mon...

Yeah, shitty magirepo deserves to be last... I think all (not you rena-chan) are very good here and deserve to be equal. A little surprised Elfriede is lower... I suppose her theme is a little all over the place... the fingers at the bottom kinda come out of nowhere and the head is a little out of place. Cendrillon is very good but feels a tad like a number of things patched together. I think the neck and headpiece could be improved. I must admit I have a bias for Zola as Ive rather fallen in love with her (heehee oops!) I think she's so spooky and cool and the colours are great! It was kinda hard to choose out of three great doppels Oh uh, Cendrillon-chan... I forgot you were there... yeah Magirepo doppels are just lazy and awful, NEXT!

Kogetsu winning as she should be... im furious the shitty Blot is not losing though... Komatsu falls into the mishmash category and there's a little too much going on. I wish she was more insect-like. I love Kogetsu though, the dragon is super cool as well as Chizuru's integration. It's just so satisfying to have such a circular silhouette too, she pulls it off well. Drekka Minni... sigh... does not deserve to be second. ITS A FUCKING BOAT. The only part I like is the dragon head but even then it doesnt fit in with ANYTHING else on the witch. I can barely even call her a witch... ugh... Oh and dear sweet Blot. Her witch is pretty good! But the doppel... The doppel is like 1/6th of the witch and they didnt even choose a good bit. Ugly, boring, lazy, and Gunhild has a shit utilisation. If you voted for her we are not friends.

Cassandra deserves to be first for sure and I totally see why Vimala is low. Im not a big fan of Apebis but the design is still pretty good, deserves to be high. I see why Vimala is unpopular as she really just looks like an object. A very pretty object but just an object. Everyone is pretty good here so Im glad most are pretty equal. Magatsu is spooky and cool and so is Cassandra. Maybe they can be spooky gfs from across time

What do you fucking mean no one likes Gosirsa??!! I'm mad Oaji is high hissssss Tara is very pretty and I love a Yokai cameo but she's a little too busy for my liking. Oaji.... Oaji is an object c'moooonnn... she's way too simple why is she top??? There are aspects I like like the reflection and stark red but not enough there. Marita is beautiful so im glad she's at least second. The theme is creepy and the colours are so pretty. But why no love for Gosirsa?! She's teetering on mishmash but I dont think she's that bad! The colours are nice and I love the mechanical bull theme! I get the wheels look a bit weird and not great but that's only one part... Poor girl...

No Aztekium love... yeah, she's not great... the cactus rail gun is not made very well. It's just two objects splortched together... Glad Abigail is high cause she's super fun. Nice colours and fun theme. I'm surprised 9daime is so high since she kinda falls into mishmash... at least the colour scheme is pretty good. I dont like how most of the pieces just don't really go together. Makes sense that Oxford is second cause this isnt a very strong bunch. I hate Miyuri's shitty feet theme but at least Oxford has nice colours and although the legs are busy, I think its pretty okay and the mass of patterns are fun.

WHAT ARE YOU ON JING IS BEAUTIFUL!!! Very unbased. I think the magi chose this one... >:( But... most of these are pretty good... but that doesnt mean Jing can be so low! Catacombe is very cool and has a good overarching theme and colour scheme. Im not so fond cause her colours are a little drab. I think Totentaz is a little boring, not enough going on I suppose and I dont think the wispy arms work. Otherwise she's fine, pretty but a little boring. But mannnnn Jing is so beautiful! I dont understand... the Chinese opera theme is BEAUTIFUL! I love her flowers and the trailing parts and how creepy she is when you look close... sigh... Casuarius is my least favourite here. Dunno, just don't get with her. The colours are very good and I love the symmetry and how Mikage is framed but I don't know if I like how the head part is put together, feels a little like separate things smooshed together without much thought.

When I first voted Frederica was so high and I was SO mad. She's awful, one of the most boring witches. It's just eyes and a jpeg of flowers man... I'm so glad she's at the bottom now. I like the patterns of Hevelius but she is just a lump so I get why she's low. Etteilla is super pretty but I definitely prefer her witch. She's on equal par to Gibdaughter to me. I only chose her cause of my silly metal bias :)c heehee I love Gibdaughter, the metal punk bird is great and I love Kanae's unique hood. These two deserve to be equal

This was a hard pick between ED Catacombe and Totentaz. The first two definitely fall into 'too detailed' for me. Like, man, look at Catacombe she has a whole party going on on her. Dunno if Elfriede deserves to be so low but they're all good. I like her pumpkin theme. I only chose Catacombe because Im not so fond of Totentaz. Does she deserve to be so high..? Eh, no... I think she's only so popular because she's the one that hurts your eyes the least. I think she's good, I LOVE the head cage thing but her bone scythe is too ugly and lumpy looking. I know ED Catacombe does look a little silly with her Papyrus Undertale skulls but I just love the colours and theme. She just works better for me.

These are all pretty equal to me, no idea why Nenemu is so low. Do people just not like Nemu lol? Nolde is pretty, love her colours and matchstick theme. So is Nenemu though I get that she feels a little more busy. I love the eye hands and head, she's more spooky. I dont think Shitori Egumo deserves to be so high. She's nowhere near as cool as her witch but she's still good. Maybe my least favourite? But otherwise they're still pretty on par. I chose Sukhavati because I love her patterns, especially when she opens up. It's a bit of a disservice not showing that aspect. Plus I love a rafflesia lol

Hmmmmmm. You want some controversy? Charlotte's doppel isnt that good guys. You know what the best part of Charlotte is? Her face. Her eyes and her huge mouth. And here..? Um... tiny mouth and no eyes. They took away her best parts! So sorry not sorry she isn't that good. Doppel Oktavia is way too stout for me. Why did they make her so fat? (not fatshaming at all, a plus sized oktavia would be beautiful but she usually isnt) Her head is so iconic why did they remove it and totally change her visor? I just think they ruined such a good witch. And Candeloro absolutely does not use enough of the witch. Its so painful cause I love Candeloro and Mami... She does not need to be that small and insignificant. I chose Ophelia cause um, the witch is actually there!! And I think the horse utilisation is actually smart! This definitely looks more like a witch popularity contest and no one actually looked at the doppels...

Ehh... swimsuit doppels are hard... They're just always so... busy... Meh... Why does no one like Ophelia though??? You're lame... Oktavia is fine. I like the surfboard and colours. I think the different kind of fish is cool but she barely looks like Oktavia anymore... Swimsuit Candeloro is pretty and has nice colours but MAN its way too busy. Swimsuit Ophelia is a bit all over the place. Some colours dont fit in and the turtle looks kinda bad. Swimsuit Charlotte is probably my second fave cause the colours are nice and the mishmash theme kinda suits her but man, some of the pieces look so out of place. Stick with a consistent art style...

Why is Luca so high? Egh... I think Luca's shape is overall so ugly and not good looking. The decorations a kinda okay but way too messy to see what you're looking at. I find her so hard to judge cause I know there's a deeper meaning I dont quite get so she's always on the fence for me. Im a Breadman hater. Why is she so unique? Why is she separate to Sudachi? What makes you so special??!! Too weird, feels like they're trying too hard to be cute. Gothel is pretty. Love the colours and the rapunzel spin. And I love me a set of ribs!! Valentines Breadman is a little better to me, I think a mishmash really suits the chocolate theme. Should be higher than regular Breadman.

Naomi is one of the first doppels I saw so maybe im biased lol. Broiderie is too grey and complex for me. But otherwise she's very beautiful and suits the mushroom theme very well. Not a fan of her weird foot though. Sigh... Heide Jekyll (shit name). I get it, I really do. But you could have made the design better!!! I know its a sensitive topic but you've still gotta make something that looks good! Naomi is beautiful, beautiful colours, I love the dual heads and stark red between the bodies. I kinda wish the arms matched the rest more but otherwise a clear winner. Yeah, Ganni deserves to be last. It's just a helmet man... A very beautiful helmet but just a helmet.

Theresia at the top like she deserves! I LOVE how awful and grotesque she is! You go girl! Go torture someone! Yu Hong is good but a little boring to me. Wish there was more than just the balloon. Beatrice is very good but I kinda hate the bright purple and fleshy pink. Ouch that hurts the eyes. She's a little tooo weird for me (not a good overarching theme) but I like how grotesque she is (wow second time saying that, gross girls forever!) Also how was I today days old when I realised Beatrice-chan is differently coloured... fake fan... but still not great... Theresia sweep is deserved.

Hrrnngghhhh Old Dorothy isn't that good guys.... It's just a bunch of circles c'mon... and the Nightmare-esque creature is so out of place. Why does she have it? You know, the things Homura made in her isolation field? Eh... Sad McDougal is so low, she was my second choice. How dare you put her next to the shite that is Hund Balou. But... she isn't great... very object-y and what is going on with that pink thing? I think Im biased cause i love her magical witch. Winchester is a great translation of the witch. Love her, no notes (well...) Only critique is that the colours are boring but that's obviously her shtick. Hund Balou... is like one of the only doppels that just look so badly drawn. The hands are awful, the hair is awful and the headpiece looks stuck on. BUT... the colours are very pretty and I love her dress. Oh and Hanna's utilisation is so unbearably lazy.

This was kinda a battle of the worst for me... Only chose Winchester cause I like main Winchester. Old Dorothy is too busy, Yu Hong is just green with barely any additions, Cuauhitlan is WAY WAY too busy (but aside from the centre she is very pretty). Man, no one served at this party...

Huh, another battle of the worst... Can we please not have a variant doppel that is unbearably busy? I chose Oktavia cause her colours are really pretty as well as the additions. But... w-why is she fat again??!! (see before, nothing wrong with large Oktavia but she... she isnt in the anime so where has this come from?!) Totentaz is finneeee... but its just a little boring... The green is ugly and the arm bits detract too much from the rest of it. (though i like the repeated red stripes). Tara is just WAY too busy and so is Henrietta. It's so hard to see what's going on... They are pretty but man... tone it down a bit!

I hate Carola so so much its unbelievable. Its such a bad doppel... I need the full description to tell you how awful she is. I am so passionate about how much I hate this doppel (this is from a wip doppel ranking)

Final Carola is... better... I wish this was her usual but im so weighed down by its previous shitness that I didnt vote for her... The colours are pretty and so are the patterns. Caterina isnt a win for me. I have no idea why she has a butterfly theme and I wish it was more like a book. Its beautiful... but not Umika. Im biased for Antonio cause I just think he's so cool???? It's... it's not Kaoru (like hello?? Where is the football theme?) but I just like him aaaa... this was kinda another battle of the worst. I think Final Carola is the best here. (Kazumi Magica you deserve so much betterrrr)

I LOVE SYLVIIIEEEEE! :) ah, where were we... Im very on the fence with Vayu. My opinion changes every time I look at her... I like the shape and the utilisation of Shizuku makes sense but Im not so sure about the colours and the uhhh bag head..? Doesnt make sense to me. Her main witch works so much better. Gela is high for me cause I love cloowwnnnsss! Just kinda wish she wasn't 60% huge beige bag. Love a dual jester hat and two faces but the colours juusstt dont match so well. Tongue and wings dont work so great with everything as a whole. Mmmm heehee Sylvie!!!! I love wind up monkeys, I love maids, I love body horror, I love purple... hello? This diva has no flaawwssss! Why is Paparazzo so high.... its pretty lame... The colours are alright and I love the repeated circles theme but eh the camera body isnt doing it for me. And the eyes feel a little lazy. She's just a little lazy overall...

Forget battle of the worst this is battle of the best! A-and Kriemhild-senpai... Doppel Kriemhild is sooo good... it is a total shame she kinda isnt Kriemhild but a Portable reference wins brownie points in Kit's book! Original is great! No notes. Swimsuit is also very good but it wasnt the winner for me cause she is just a liiiiittle too busy... otherwise the colours are GORGEOUS and she is very good. Haregi Kriemhild is also so beautiful. I think the green is integrated well (they could have fluked that so easily) and the circular background works so well with her overall. Deserves to be on par with the other two, not that low :( And uh Kriemhild-senpai..? Oh look, we've run out of time!

Hrrnnnnnn...... okay Homulilly is great, very good interpretation of Portable Homulilly. Only gripe is that she's kinda one-note on colours. She could've used the red of Portable homu. Now... guys... cool Homulilly isnt that good... Rebellion Homulilly is such a good design and what did they use here?.... oh... oh uh... n-nothing... Where's the spider lily? Where's the gramophone? WHERES THE SKELETON?! It just doesnt do it for me, champ (and i know, this isnt specifically Rebellion Homulilly but c'mon! They were going there with everything else, why not go the whole way!) I think the Lotte are way too busy, if you were gonna do the Clara Dolls, do the fucking Clara Dolls, you have ALL the assets for them! No, she does not deserve to be top y'all are liars and skanks Swimsuit Homulilly... COME ON THE COLOURS ARE LOVELY! This was before variant doppels were stuffed to their britches with too much shit. She's so cute, I love the contrast of the blue and the cute spotty arms aarrghhh y'all are missing out... Haregi Homulilly is too busy and the colours are kinda wack. The 7 Gods of Fortune Lotte just don't work for me... it's too messy and ugly... very unbased here...

Wow that's all up to date! So? Did this make you hate me? I dont really mind lol Im half looking-forward-to, half nervous about what the rest of the results will be...

[grippingbeskar]

goodbye 2022– a love letter

okay, so i am not one for long, sappy posts. in fact i think i can count on one hand the amount of times i’ve written about personal stuff on this blog, because i wanted it to be a space for me to just escape life and write for the first time.

i just wanted to make this post to say thank-you. i think i have written that word out about 1,000 times since making this account, but it will truely never be enough to express how greatful i am to have this space, and that all of you have been so fucking welcoming and kind to me.

when i started this account nine months ago, i genuinely had no idea what it would turn into. i’d been reading fanfic for most of my life, and the last few years i’ve been obsessed with the punisher and the mandalorian (not much has changed). i’ve always been the type of person to make stories in my head, especially with how much i read, it’s almost like i can’t help it. i also have taken a very big interest in writing recently, so i thought why not have a bit of fun with it and write a few chapters of a story and see where it goes.

my first official post on this account was the first chapter of the element of surprise series, and i remember getting my first few notes, and even a comment, and i nearly jumped out of my skin. every single one since then has been so special, and i still get all giddy and excited when i see someone interacting with my stories. after that i posted my first frank castle story, looking to tomorrow. i was so insecure about it, but at that point i think i had literally 0 followers, so i had NOTHING to lose.

after a few more chapters and frank one shots i started to get a little more inspired, and that is all thanks to the lovely people who cared enough to encourage me. i would have 100% stopped writing if you all hadn’t been so welcoming and amazing, and my life trajectory has seriously changed for the better. not even exaggerating.

now i’m here nine months later. i’ve finished my first series and nearly completed my second, both of which are over 85,000 words in length, which is fucking WILD. i have also written 30ish (im counting my drafts in this lmao) stand alone fics, and did my first ever celebration, writing out a bunch of requests (which i still actually have three or four in my drafts. trust me they are coming i’m just slow pls).

i am just so so greatful to have this space where i have so many encouraging, kind people that share the same interests, and find genuine enjoyment in the shit that i write. i’ll never be able to type out in words how much it means. every time someone reads my fics, i just want them to know how much it means to me. even if you don’t interact (i’d love to reply personally if you do!) i just love that people are reading my writing. so thank you. THANK YOU.

now. i have a few ppl i wanna mention who have made this experience all the more incredible.

@everybirdfellsilent for being my first tumblr friend and my longest. you are so, so incredible, and i genuinely don’t know where i would be if i hadn’t found you on here. thank you for your constant support, editing help, beta reading, screaming about sexy fan art, obi-wan thirsting and everything in between. i appreciate you more than you know and i love u for it.

@buckymcbuckbarnes BITCH you know i love you. do i even have to SAY!!!! thank you for everything— you are such a special person to me, and i literally can’t tell u how glad i am to have found you. watch out 2023 bc we have big things COMING. and they will be cumming if you know what i mean. thank you for your incredible playlists and every single fic and tik tok you send me. i love every single one. i love you. we say it all the time and i mean it.

@tea-and-wine for all our chats, even though sometimes they are few and far between, i always appreciate your messages and kind words. i hope you make 2023 your bitch!!

@marvelswh0re for your thirsty frank and matt thoughts and all your kind words. i still think about that convo we had about how frank is receiving a bj. it’s just always in my mind. i need him to **** ** ***. sorry got off track. THANKYOU!!!

@lemon-world1 for being SO lovely, and for all the amazing words you’ve left on my frank series and everything in between. it means so so much to me. i can’t explain it. also congrats for sharing your frank fic, it was incredible and i can’t wait to see what else you have in store!

@castlesnchurches i will never be able to express how much i love reading your comments on my fics. probably one of my fave things ever. you motivate me so much just by being so lovely. thank you thank you. xx

@dinahmadanimybeloved for your amazing messages and supportive words, i hope 2023 is a good one for you xx

@hellskitchenswhore FOR GENERAL KINDNESS!!! thankyou so so much. it means the world ❤️

and to every single person who has interacted, liked or read a fic of mine/ followed along for the journey— and reading this right now!!! i’ll never be able to tell you how happy you have made me. thank you for making a pretty shitty year that much better ❤️

get ready for more fics, more series, and more SEX in 2023. YEHAW.

[machine-gun-casie]

tavern music

synopsis: corpse hears tavern music coming from your room (gn!reader)

warnings: rpf, reader gets cheated on, kind of unrequited feelings, mostly hurt/comfort and physical affection tho (what im trying to say is that this is mostly self indulgent)

wc: 1.7k

a/n: havent written in a while but i found this in my arsenal, fixed it up a bit and viola. original plans for this was definitely something longer that would end with them being together but im not up for writing rn. been feeling really shitty lately and ive been needing something like this in my life. hope u guys like it ♡

He couldn’t hear it at first. His headset was on and everyone was being so loud on the discord call. When he started the stream, he really thought it was gonna be a long one. But he’s only two hours in and he’s ready to get the hell off because something was definitely wrong.

“Corpse?” His name being spoken finally broke him out of his trance, he only hummed in response. “You’ve been really quiet. Are you sure you’re up for another game?”

“Actually,” he starts as he closes a few tabs, “I think I’ve gotta go. Today was fun, though. Thanks for having me guys.”

After a chorus of ‘goodbye’s and ‘see you later’s, Corpse disconnected from the discord call. “Thank you guys for being here,” he addressed the chat, “sorry I’m ending so early today. I promise I’ll make it up to you next time. Take care of yourselves. Later.”

After hanging up his headset and getting out of the chair he’s been sitting in for far too long, Corpse made the short trek to your room. 

You had only been roommates for less than four months, but Corpse could confidently say that you have become one of his closest friends. Getting a roommate was the last resort that he never wanted to actually resort to. But alas, medical bills were piling up and youtube and music don’t make half as much money as people think they do. So cutting rent in half was the best plan he could come up with. He did have an extra guest room that no one ever stayed in. Of course having someone move into his personal space was terrifying to him. He didn’t just want to post an ad on craigslist or something. So he asked a couple trusted friends to ask a couple trusted friends… And that’s when you came in.

You were the trusted friend of a trusted friend of a trusted friend. When you met, you didn’t make a comment about his voice. Your face sure as hell showed your surprise but you didn’t say anything. To Corpse, this meant one of two things. You either knew who he was but didn’t want to freak him out, or you didn’t know about his online persona and were just genuinely shocked by his voice. It only took a few minutes of knowing you to know that it was the latter. Thank god. You were like anyone your age with social media. You had a few accounts, followed a few people, but mostly used it to stay in contact with friends. 

It only took you guys a week to realize you had way too much in common. After many a late night when he wasn’t streaming, and many an early morning when he was just done streaming, you two became inseparable. Nothing could keep you apart.

Except for one thing.

You had a boyfriend.

There was nothing wrong with your boyfriend, per se. Just the fact that he was your boyfriend and Corpse was not. 

Yeah, Corpse definitely had feelings for you. 

But right now, feelings didn’t matter when he could hear tavern music coming from your room.

He knocked lightly and pushed the door open slowly. “y/n? Can I come in?”

No response came, just sniffles and sobs. The lack of refusal on your part gave him the courage he needed to open the door wider and step into your room. He had only been in your room a couple of times since you had moved in. But he had never been in a room that gave off the feeling of a person so well.

You were curled up on your bed, facing your open laptop screen and the tavern music coming from its speakers. With every sob shaking your chest, Corpse felt his heart break. “y/n,” he murmured softly, “what’s wrong?”

“It’s not working.” Came your reply, heavy with tears. “You said it would make you feel like you're going on an adventure but I still feel like crap.”

“What happened?” Corpse asked as he sat down on your bed, facing you. You slowly sat up and crossed your legs at your ankles in front of you.

“He-” You sighed heavily. “He cheated on me.”

“What?”

“He cheated on me -has been cheating on me- with my best friend. My little brother found out.” You groaned and dramatically dropped your head onto Corpse’s thigh. His hand immediately came in contact with your cheek as he brushed a few stray tears away.

There was rarely any physical contact between you and Corpse. Sometimes you’d give him a high five, sometimes he’d give you fist bump. And there was that one time you came up behind him at the grocery store and hugged his arm to your chest. You immediately whispered something along the lines of ‘creep won’t leave me alone’ followed by a loud ‘hey babe!’

Corpse could barely admit to himself how much he liked that.

But this? This felt good. Corpse’s large warm hand on your face somehow made you want to cry more but in a good way. The tenderness with which he held your face made your heart squeeze as it remembered moments like this with your boyf- ex boyfriend. But then it remembered your brother’s words.

“Hey, what’s up?” You spoke as you answered his call. Your brother wasn’t much of a caller, so it made you worry. 

“Hey, where are you right now?”

“I’m home, why?”

“y/n… There’s something I gotta tell you.” He sighed and you could clearly hear the guilt.

“Did you break my DS!” It was your first thought as you had given it to him the last time you had seen him. “Dude! I’ve had that since I was seven!”

“No no, I called about something else.” He cut you off mid-whine. “But also I did lose the pen.” You huffed out a sigh of frustration but stayed silent so he could tell you what he wanted to tell you. “I saw your boyfriend at the park today.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “And?” How did this warrant a phone call? 

“He was with Bob.” 

When you had met your best friend, your brother was only a toddler. He had decided that her name was Bob, so it stuck. You always called her Bob, she was saved as Bob in your phone, your whole family called her Bob. But you still didn't understand. Why was he calling you to tell you that your boyfriend and your best friend were at the park? 

“Why are you calling me about this? You know that they’re friends, right?” You let out a chuckle, albeit still pretty confused. “They’re allowed to hang out without me.” 

“They weren’t hanging out.” You could hear your brother push out a strained sigh. What wasn’t he telling you? “They were making out on the swing set. As in, both of them on one swing. And I double checked, it was definitely them. I-I told mom and she said not to tell you, but I couldn’t not tell you when I’m the one who saw it!”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say a word.

“I’m sorry, y/n.”

There was no lying to yourself, you had doubts about your best friend and your boyfriend. But you constantly brushed it off. He wouldn’t hurt you like that. Hell, she couldn’t hurt like that. Not after everything you had been through together. 

But you had seen his call log by accident one time, he called her more than he did you. She face-timed him one time to ask his opinion about a dress she was going to buy while you were in the changing room. She had done a handful of things since your relationship with your boyfriend started that made you uneasy. If this was their first kiss, which was something you doubted, then they’ve both been emotionally attached to the other for far too long.

All those tender intimate moments, all those dates, throughout everything, he wasn’t faithful. Not emotionally, at least. None of those moments that you cherished meant anything to you anymore. He had played you. With none other than your best friend since middle school. You didn’t know who to be more mad at.

The thoughts of betrayal from someone who you considered a sister and the hurt of being cheated on made you nauseated.

So when the large warm hand on your face stroked your cheek again, you didn’t mind it. This was Corpse. Not your cheating boyfriend. Not your lying best friend. Corpse. And you knew that he would never hurt you.

“He’s been cheating on me for a while I think.” You mumbled against his sweatpants. “Maybe a couple months. I don’t know.” 

Corpse furrowed his brows in thought. You had told him you were going to visit your boyfriend for your one year anniversary next week. “Weren’t you go-”

“Yeah.”

“And Bob’s been your friend since-”

“Yeah.” Your chin wobbled as you answered. You brought your arms up around Corpse’s thigh and hugged it. It was a strange position, but you didn’t care. He was so warm and nice and hugging him properly required more movement on your end than you were willing to do.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Corpse sighed and reached out to untangle your arms from his leg. He gently pulled you across the few inches of bed between you and sat you in his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, immediately sobbing into his shoulder. “Do you want me to turn off the music?” You shook your head no against him and he chuckled before he solemnly sighed. “When did you find out?” 

“When I came home.”

“But you came home hours ago. Have you been in here this whole time?” You nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were streaming, didn’t wanna interrupt.” You shrugged.

“y/n,” he sighed disappointedly, “you’re my best friend. I can end a stream if you need me.”

“Okay.” Your voice, broken and weak and tired, made him feel so guilty. You had been crying your heart out for over two hours just down the hall from where he was.

He gently grabbed you by your hips and tried to push you away, but you only held on tighter and whimpered. “I just wanna get you some water.”

“I don’t want water.”

“Then what do you want?”

“You.” You whispered. “Please stay.” 

Fuck. How could he say no to that?

So he stayed.

[spencers-renaissance]

Shovel Talk

Summary: Hotch and Emily find out about Derek's relationship with Spencer and decide it's time for a chat.

Tags: fluff, humour, est. rel., protective!derek, emily, and hotch, relationship reveal, mentions of past hurt spencer

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 1.5k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

Inspired by this post by @penemily that I couldn't stop thinking about. Honestly I love this fic so much lol.

Derek isn’t quite sure how he’s found himself in a vacant office after hours, crowded into an office chair with broken wheels as the two most intimidating FBI agents he knows stand over him.

“Either of you want to tell me what the hell’s going on?” Derek asks, bewildered by how quickly his evening had changed. One minute he’s sneaking looks at Spencer over his computer screen, and the next he’s hauled off to a private room like some sort of hostage.

He’s not scared, but he’s definitely a little pissed off. It’s nearing 10pm and all he wants to do is go home with Spencer, curl up on the sofa and eat take-out in front of the TV as they celebrate closing a case in their own way. He used to celebrate by going out for a drink, falling into bed with a stranger if the opportunity arose, but a quiet evening on the sofa with his boy in his arms is surprisingly satisfying these days.

Hotch raises an eyebrow. “We know,” he says simply, something fierce behind his words.

Derek’s heart skips a beat. It’s not hard to figure out what it is he’s talking about. He and Spencer had started dating a couple of months ago but had decided to keep it under wraps for now; something so young and beautiful was too precious to expose to all the inevitable eventual complications just yet. They’re so ridiculously smitten, though, that he’s not exactly surprised two profilers paying close attention had figured it out.

Ignoring the quietly humming nerves starting up in his stomach, he mirrors Hotch’s raised eyebrow, trying not to look as affected as he feels. “So… what? You wait for Spencer to go to the bathroom to lure me to an empty office to beat me up?”

“Maybe,” Emily replies, voice dry.

Behind the nerves and the posturing, Derek can’t feel a small twinge of hurt. “Look, guys, we expected it to be a bit of a shock, but we thought you’d at least be happy for us—”

“It’s not a shock,” Hotch interrupts.

“What?”

“It’s not a shock,” Emily repeats. “Everyone saw this coming a mile off. We’re not surprised.”

Now, he’s even more lost. “Look, can you guys just sit down? You towering over me is creeping me out, man.”

“Good,” Hotch says easily.

Irritation takes over, and he stands up. “You know what, if you’re gonna be funny about it, I don’t actually have to be here.”

Before he can actually make to leave, though, Hotch is shoving him back down into the chair, old metal and plastic creaking under the force of his caught-off-guard body hitting it again. “Stay.”

“What is going on?” Derek explodes. Maybe under different circumstances he’d be able to profile the situation but as it stands, he’s stressed and confused, desperate only to be allowed to leave this dark, cramped room and take Spencer back to his place. It almost surprises him that all he craves in such a weird and unfamiliar situation is cuddles and a nature documentary, but he’s been with Spencer long enough for it to be approaching normal. The younger man’s probably back at his desk by now, wondering where he is, and Derek would hate for him to be worried. He just wants to go home.

“Derek, we are happy for you and Spencer,” Emily finally explains. “But we couldn’t in good conscience let this go on without having a… chat.” Her face twists into the faux charming expression he’s watched her use to disarm unsubs countless times. It stings a little that she’s using it on him.

He splutters a little as a realisation dawns on him, equal parts bemused and offended. “This is… this is a shovel talk!”

“Yes,” Hotch says with a straight face, his expression tight and intimidating as he tilts his head to the side slightly, clearly entirely unaffected by Derek’s emotions. “This is a shovel talk.”

Derek feels himself relax, tension easing slightly. “Guys, I appreciate the sentiment, but Spencer’s my boyfriend; nobody wants to protect him more than I do. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“I’m pretty sure we could give you a run for your money,” Emily says, her expression quickly transforming into something far more dangerous and challenging than only moments previously. “Spencer has something every single member of this team would die to protect. And if you get in our way, then we’re going to have a problem.”

“Emily, what, we’re friends.”

“Yeah,” she agrees, shrugging easily, “and I love you. But Spencer is my little brother, and I would do anything to stop him from getting hurt. As long as you don’t interfere with my primary mission, we’ll be fine.”

Hotch speaks before Derek can get a word in. “Derek, I knew Spencer long before you did. I remember the first time Gideon brought him to one of our lunches, and I saw something in him that made my heart ache. It didn’t take me long to realise that what I saw were the scars left by incredible deep-seated pain. Spencer has been through hell and back throughout his life, and he’s been hurt repeatedly by people who were supposed to protect him, including Gideon. I would do anything to prevent him from getting hurt by someone like that again, you hear me? Anything.”

As confusing as this all is, Derek can’t help but feel touched by Hotch’s earnest, emotional speech. Most of his nightmares these days revolve around Spencer getting hurt, and it’s kind of reassuring to know that he has so many people in the world who will stop at nothing to prevent those horrible dreams from spiralling into reality.

He can’t help but smile a little. “I’m glad he has you two,” Derek says honestly, looking between them, “but I can assure you that if I ever hurt Spencer for some unfathomable reason, your services wouldn’t be needed. I would hate myself enough for all three of us.” Even just considering the hypothetical possibility of hurting Spencer makes his stomach turn: it’s enough for him to know that he wouldn’t need Hotch and Emily to hold him accountable to that, his own self-loathing would be punishment enough.

It seems to appease Hotch and Emily, who Derek realises look sort of like intimidating twin mafia bosses standing over him like this, and they finally step back a little, posture relaxing.

“Well, what are you waiting for then?” Emily says, smiling for real this time. “Get your boy and get home. It’s getting late, you know.”

He rolls his eyes at her as he makes his way to the door.

“Oh, and Derek,” Hotch says, laying a hand on his shoulder, turning him before he can leave, a genuine smile on his face too, “I am actually happy for you and Spencer.”

Derek grins at that. He really is a lucky, lucky man. “Thanks, Hotch.”

“What was that about?” Spencer asks, his features twisting in curiosity as Derek makes his way across the bullpen to his boyfriend, Hotch and Emily emerging from the same room moments later.

Derek doesn’t answer properly, laughing instead. “You got some good friends, you know that?”

Spencer nods, still looking a little confused, but clearly deciding to let it go as he slings his messenger bag across his body, standing up from his desk. Derek slings an arm around Spencer’s shoulders, leading him towards the exit as his insides twist at the adorable blush that colours Spencer’s cheeks so prettily.

“Derek,” he hisses, “shouldn’t we be leaving separately?”

“I think it’s a little late for that,” he chuckles, looking over his shoulder. Spencer does the same, blushing even fiercer as he spots Hotch and Emily leaning against the railing, overlooking the bullpen with all-knowing looks on their faces.

“Oh my god,” Spencer mumbles, clearly embarrassed, but Derek just laughs again as they leave the bullpen and approach the elevators.

“Come on, pretty boy,” he sighs happily, sliding the arm around his shoulders to rest at his waist, fingertips pressing into the small frame of the boy he’s already falling in love with. “Let’s get you home. That penguin documentary awaits.”

“You’re gonna watch Emperors and Kings with me?” Spencer’s happy exclamation and the delighted expression on his face only warms his heart further, and in that moment he decides that he wants a happy Spencer and another nature documentary within his reach for the rest of his life.

Surprisingly, it’s not as terrifying a thought as it might once have been.

(If Derek thinks the shovel talk from Hotch and Emily is bad, though, it’s nothing compared to the one he gets from Penelope. By the end of the next day, he’s somehow reduced to tears that are both happy and the product of extreme terror, on the receiving end of a ‘baby girl’ ban for keeping it from her for so long. In the end, he decides that it’s probably an alright price to pay for everything beautiful that his life has blossomed into over the last few months.)

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @negativefouriq @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @livrere-blue @hotchseyebrows @jellejareau @reidology @i-like-buttons @spencerspecifics @bau-gremlin @hotchedyke @tobias-hankel @goobzoop @marsjareau @garcias-bitch @oliverbrnch @im-autistic @anxious-enby @queerminalminds (taglist form)

[anxiouspotatorants]

heyy first off im obsessed w your account and the underdog quartet but also i feel like, with your new jess/paris playlist post, we need to acknowledge paris and jess’s first interaction when paris went into luke’s diner in “Richard goes to stars hollow” they had a very subtle interaction but he was clearly memorable enough to her to remember him and his name. I wonder if whenever paris when to stars hollow in the future she would look for jess what do you think

Thank you so much for this ask and the kind words!!! I’m obviously obsessed with UQ too, so finding more people who love that dynamic is just amazing!

Also yes we only had about two direct interactions between Paris and Jess but holy shit was the platonic chemistry there!! Paris bothering to remember him is something I would love to take as a sign that she was a Jess gal (especially since if you combine that with Keiko Agena saying she and Lane are team Jess, that means all my faves support my ship!)

Now for Jess and Paris specifically, I could honestly give you three different types of answers for this. First is that ASP and company didn’t feel like exploring that dynamic, so Paris probably doesn’t think about Jess or seek him out in the future, especially not after Rory’s break up. But that take is boring so let’s go for wild headcanons!

The second approach is on the more realistic side. I bet that Paris would avoid bringing up Jess every time he popped into her mind in front of Rory, but she would be too desperate to finally have that decent conversationalist to not bug Rory about him. She probably wouldn’t head over to Stars Hollow of her own accord considering how disappointed she was with the research results for that article, but she would ask about when Jess could come over to Hartford so she could rip his literary takes to shreds at a nearby cafe or at the elder Gilmores. Once Jess and Rory were a couple, Paris would double down on her requests but probably only have them met once or twice (Jess has work, Rory still has a tendency to compartmentalize parts of her life etc.). Post-breakup Paris would take Rory’s side, but secretly be sad to see a potential friend go. She probably felt like this guys really could be something, not just for Rory who seemed to finally get decent taste in boys, but for Paris who was finally starting to get more true friends. She carries a secret team Jess torch for the rest of the series but hides it in general criticism of any and all guys Rory is involved with.

On to approach three, aka balls to the walls whatever I want!! Hold on to your hat because this will be a long and windy ride:

After the diner-meet, Paris is intrigued by the guy who played along with her interrogation and eye-flirted with Rory. She doesn’t think she’ll see him again, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t want to.

After the dinner at Rory’s, Paris is honestly elated to finally have a great literary conversation with a guy her age. The only one to have come close is Rory, and that doesn’t say much for the «opposite sex» in Paris’ eyes. But she’s also furiously disagreeing with Jess’ «Austen loves Bukowski»-take, so she writes a whole several page argumentative essay and forces Rory to deliver it to Jess the next school day.

Jess responds not with a letter, but by having Rory hand Paris an annotated («blasphemy!») copy of a Bukowski work. There are no arguments from Jess notes, just underlines of quotes he thinks Austen would approve of, and excerpts from different Austen works put in the margins for comparison. Paris despises him for how much she is seeing his point.

At some point Rory get’s sick of being a carrier pigeon and drags Paris with her to ST after school so the two can fight in person. All three stay until Lorelai pops over for dinner, and Paris realizes she needs to haul herself over to the bus. She’s hungry and worried about the time she should have spent on homework, but ultimately really happy about the day.

She’s bummed to see Jess go after the car accident, but doesn’t have much time to think about it between school and… well, school. She does end up being one of the few Rory can talk to about Jess without getting the whole «bad bad boy»-speech she gets over in ST and at her grandparents’.

Rory doesn’t tell Paris Jess is back until the very end of their Washington trip when Paris finds the unfinished letter and Paris is boiling. She does cool quickly, but only to constantly bug Rory about when the three of them are going to meet up again for coffee and verbal war. Rory gets so stressed about it that at some point she gives Paris the number to Luke’s and tells her to go on her own for all Rory cares.

Paris does. Jess is surprised, but they get in the groove quick. What doesn’t go as smoothly is Paris asking what the hell is going on between him and Rory. His non-answers pretty much spell everything out, and in a rare moment of comradery, Paris decides to turn the conversation in to hating on Dean. Jess appreciates it. It doesn’t happen again, but Paris firmly puts herself in the team Jess camp from then on.

Paris is releived once Jess and Rory finally are together and it is great! More cafe talks! Study sessions! Movie nights! They even sneak both Paris and Lane out into concerts! Paris feels like for the first time in a very long time, she has real friends her own age. The kind who actually like you for you and want to spend time with you for you, not just to get better grades or a better reputation.

Paris sucks at being strong for Rory when Jess leaves. Like, she takes it really personal. This was supposed to be the one good guy, and he decided to be just like everyone else. But with time she learns to coach Rory into speaking her mind about the whole thing, and to support her in her own Paris-y way.

What she doesn’t tell Rory is that at some point after summer break (either because she gets hold of Jess for some scolding or because Lane does and spills to Paris or even if Jess gets in touch himself) Jess starts sending Paris beat up books he collects on the road around the country. None of them feature letters (at first), but annotations at the beginning declaring his safety and momentary location, as well as his general style annotations of the book inside the text. Paris starts responding with letters, and with time they start talking on phones and through email.

Paris helps Jess with his GED. They make it an equal study-buddy thing because Paris needs help taking certain writers seriously in her essays. Most of their sessions are over the phone, and a lot of it is just them daring each other to actually try. Paris gets actual stars on her improved essays, and Jess passes with flying colours.

Paris doesn’t know about Truncheon until Jess stands in front of her place ages later, dressed like a Kids Bop version of himself and holding a messengerbag with his debut novel. Paris tears through it in two hours (forcing Jess to sit on the couch next to her the whole time) and then spends another half hour furiously trying to tear it to shreds but actually praising it. She gives him their first hug ever, and hopes this afternoon is a sign they’ll slowly get back to being close friends in person.

Paris sucks at hiding how team Jess she is. So. Much. She does have genuine critiques of Logan and other guys, but her gut-defenses of Jess at random times in the day and weird reminiscing back to the «good old days» of diner talk after school gives her away immediately. Rory is uncomfortable, but Paris doesn’t even change her mind after Rory still picks Logan.

What she does do is invite Jess over for grown up evenings with Doyle. Whenever Rory is scheduled to be out and Jess needs to visit Luke anyway, Paris extends her invitation. They test wines based on price and taste, watch cult classics, eat takeout (in honour of Paris’ very first Mac and Cheese night) and talk for hours. One day wires cross and Jess gets in while Rory is there/Rory gets back while Jess is there and things get awkward.

Paris invites Jess to the graduation. Yes she has a limited amount of tickets and yes it’s weird to invite your friend who has barely been around ever but damn it she wants him there. He came to her when he was celebrating his accomplishments, she wants him to be there for hers.

They actually grow even closer as adults; emailing, texting and calling regularly. About 70% of it is general banter and picking on everything and everyone around them, but it’s a far more loving kind now — not that anyone who isn’t them would know, from the outside it looks like they want to kill each other. Regardless of outcome, Paris remains forever team Jess, and the two end up having each other’s backs for life.

So this went long and away from the point (and I only went through Paris’ pov!) but it was fun to write! I hope you like rant answers!

[omegawolverine]

I know you posted it days ago but you said something about wanting to rant about either karl or his fanbase and its been itching at my brain. Ive no clue whats happening or what is happening at all cause no one seems to be making clear points?? Or explaining anything?

Obviously you do NOT have to talk about it im sure it might be a sore point to rant because people can get SO needlessly rude to others over it. But if you want to idk explain? Just rant? Im definetly curious what it was over or about.

The "you dont need to talk about this" is amplified by the fact i am DAYS late and you are probably over it by now.

okay hi yes im happy to talk about this but i think i should preface with two things:

1) even tho it may seem like im biased towards him or being very defensive of him im actually a super casual karl viewer and the only reason i am super defensive of him sometimes is bc we act a lot alike irl and that is mainly because of our neurodivegency. when i say a lot i mean we share traits like "annoying" stimming (jumping around, making loud noises, repeating the same phrases until everyone is sick of hearing them), the difficulty reading situations, the very obvious issues with volume control and not just bouncing from subject to subject to subject as we fucking please. basically anything you've seen karl do on stream that is Very Neurodivergent ive done the same in my own way which is why i get defensive when i see people calling him annoying or saying they dont like him, usually for these types of reasons. that being said, when i say im a very casual karl viewer, i fucking mean it. i usually only watch him when he's streaming with other ccs i like or when he's doing chill alt streams bc even with the annoying donos, he's pretty relaxing and comforting when he's just fucking around by himself and he isnt trying to get as hype as he would on a main channel stream. so yeah, it may seem like im biased and sure, i guess i am on some level, but it's not coming from a place of me hyperfixating on him or me even loving him as a cc, it's coming from me being a neurodivergent who likes him just enough to get upset when i see people basically being casually ableist towards him.

2) i dont have all the facts or even a great understanding on what the fuck has been happening recently with his "drama"...mostly bc he talked about it on his priv, which im not on, and people are gatekeeping the tweets, as they always do, and basically making you "dm to see them" (which is already a problem in and of itself bc apparently in these tweets he said he didnt want them being ss and shared, yet they are being shared thru dms over and over and over again like. at that point just stop withholding the information and post the fucking shit, you clearly dont care that he said "dont share"). additionally, most of the threads ive seen on this situation havent actually explained the initial issue, just talked about his apology (a lot of people have said "it's bad" but havent said why and with no screenshots ((i havent asked for someone to dm me them and i still havent seen them posted, which is mildly surprising, but incredibly frustrating at this point)), i only have a few basic details i can actually assess it on) or they talked about the initial issue in very vague details so um. excuse me trying to explain this now, but ill try and make it make sense with how little ive actually pieced together.

(oh, also, here's my first rant about the ableism in this fandom which is way more broad. this is a pretty different rant from that one, but they're both pretty big reasons why i hate this fandoms treatment of karl)

so basically the problems started with mr beast being apart of a charity stream that donated either to autism speaks or to a similar company, im unsure on that part. im also unsure on if the people participating in the stream actually knew of this or not bc, from what i remember, the money was being donated to a separate organization that was like. under the bad company or some shit like that, idk how stuff like that works and also i read about this shit months ago bc this originally happened months ago and just sorta came to a head recently.

anyways, i think karl was supposed to be apart of this stream but pulled out of it right before (that or these were two separate streams and karl was supposed to participate in the first but pulled out while mr beast did both?? idk. regardless karl did not actually participate, just mr beast). from there people started doing the guilt from association bullshit they always do, this was also doubled by the fact that the chris being racist stuff came out sometime around then and basically he got dragged all over twitter for "being ableist" and "supporting racists" and i cant remember if he actually apologized when this originally happened or not. i vaguely remember him apologizing about something back then but i genuinely dont know if it was this or something else.

basically that died down eventually, a good chunk of people unstanned him but him and honktwt didnt end up getting the lovely lil technotwt treatment and they still havent yet, surprisingly. good for them honestly ajsksk

but now we get to the past few weeks and apparently something happened with him "laughing at someone saying the r slur" (it was mizkif, i believe), specifically when it was directed at other people, which is a big yikes, obviously, but when karl was called out for this a lot of people kind of. made this into a situation that it wasnt bc um. basically karl didnt laugh at it, he gave a few nervous giggles, as people often do when in a situation like that (and karl specifically said he does this in the one part of his apology tweet which i did stumble upon, although it wasnt the important part of the apology thread bc why would it be) and people fucking crucified him for it. they quite literally dragged a neurodivergent man for supposedly "laughing at the r slur" when he can literally reclaim it and also he was just nervous laughing.

and this is where the situation just gets really bad because they. basically forced him to admit that he was autistic on his priv to apologize for this. i havent seen the screenshots of him saying this, but i saw people discussing it and i am frankly so fucking pissed about this because sure, it was a bad situation, and i understand people wanting an explanation, but an apology? for a neurodivergent man nervous laughing at a slur he can reclaim? and then forcing the man to admit something he literally said in that tweet he didnt want people to know which is why people were being so gatekeepy about it while also LOUDLY discussing the situation, as if that wouldnt drive MORE PEOPLE to look for screenshots and ways to get ahold of this information? and then people had the audacity to call it a "bad apology" when they had quite literally just violated his privacy by forcing him to admit something that he shouldnt have needed to share in the first place if he didnt want to, which he didnt.

and this is why im so pissed off. karl is already constantly picked at and made fun of and called annoying for his neurodivergent traits, things which he literally cant help, things which are generally harmless, and now he was forced into a situation where he can now be further picked at and made fun of and called annoying bc they forced him to admit something private instead of just understanding and accepting that he had been nervous laughing at someone using a slur he has definetly been called for his neurodivergency.

tldr of my thoughts: yes i think karl needed to address this situation, it definetly looked bad, but twitter stans have this sense of entitlement with their ccs and because of that, they consistently take it way too far and harm the people they claim to care about so dearly. we've seen it happen time and time again with dream, but this is the first time ive seen them basically force someone to out themselves to make their apology "valid" and most of them still seem to not want to accept it anyways, which just makes me feel bad for him bc now that info is out their and people are just disregarding it to continue "holding him accountable".

anyways, i think that's all i can really say on this topic rn tbh, if anyone else knows this situation better please feel free to lmk clarifications and ill add them in since, like i said, i know fuck all thanks to twitter being so goddamn hush hush about the important details while simultaneously being the loudest mfers about how much they hate karl now instead of just fucking unfollowing and moving on.

thanks for the ask and im sorry if this is confusing!! i just think this is one of those weird situations where like. i think karl deserved some criticism for what happened and how he handled it or at least he shouldve been asked to address it but that just. isnt what happened, at all. he was harrassed. karl got harrassed and because of that he handled this situation even more sloppily than he probably wouldve and exposed private info about himself that he didnt feel comfortable doing and it just. fucking sucks tbh.

[catrasredemption-moved]

I'm really struggling and hurting with what's going on in the fandom right now as im losing the only comfort i had in quarantine. could you please write something happy post-s5 catradora based on noelle's statement that once Adora realises she's in love with Catra she'd be SO into the reslationship?

((I get you, Nonners <3 *hugs* Again, white af, so I’m going to limit my comments, but - it isn’t all downhill from here. Try not to give up)) (((Disclaimer it’s almost 4am and my sleeping meds are kicking in, so I’m sorry if this isn’t completely coherent)))

Adora had never half-assed anything in her life.

And she’d be damned if she was going to start now, at a time when being fully on her game was more important than ever.

“I just want to do something for her!”

Bow practically had hearts in his eyes. Glimmer was a little less impressed. “I’m pretty sure if you just stayed in bed and napped together all day, she’d be happy.”

“I know, I know.” Adora sighed. “But that’s not - I want to do something good. Like, really show her that I love her.”

“Take a vacation.”

“Glimmer!”

“What? I’m serious,” Glimmer insisted. “If you just like... took an entire week off to do nothing but spend time with her, she’d probably be speechless. Which I would pay to see, by the way.”

Adora frowned, thinking it over. It was true that Catra would probably be floored by Adora taking a week off, no need for She-Ra or anything, just for her.

“I don’t know. Do you think it’s enough? What should we do? What do people do on vacation?”

“You could just travel?” Bow suggested. “You know, get as far from Bright Moon as you can then call Glimmer for a ride back or something when you’re done.”

It was... actually a good idea, Adora thought. They’d spent their whole lives in the Fright Zone wondering what was beyond the Whispering Woods. They could actually see things now. They could see a world full of magic!

The happy thoughts died almost as quickly as they had started. “I... I dunno. I mean, it sounds great, but that would take more than a week, and-”

“Take a month,” Glimmer encouraged. “Take six months, honestly. You guys saved the universe. If anyone’s earned time off, it’s you.”

“That’s a lot of time.”

“And you’ve earned it,” Bow assured her. “Maybe not six months - I mean, you should take six months but I know that would drive you nuts. But take a month. Go places. Spend time together. I think it’d be good for you guys.”

Adora chewed on her thumbnail for a moment before slowly nodding and smiling. “Yeah. Okay.”

This whole thing had started with Catra not feeling like a priority in Adora’s life, after all. A month together would be the perfect way to show Adora she was invested and she cared. Perfect. * * * * * * * * * * * * Catra didn’t get back to Bright Moon that night. “Your cat passed out on my couch,” Mermista informed Adora flatly, turning the screen so Adora could see Catra curled up in a tight ball, sleeping.

“Is she... okay?”

“She’s dumb. Sea Hawk found her almost sick with heat stroke and had to drag her away from the house she was working on.”

Adora’s heart jumped to her throat. “She’s... She’s really trying hard to help with Salineas.”

“And I appreciate it,” Mermista admitted in a rare moment of genuine honesty. “But I’ll appreciate it less if she kills herself in the process. If she’s going to die, I should at least get the first shot.”

“Glimmer can come get her, if you want.”

“Nah, she already feels like hell. She can sleep it off on the couch.”

Adora scrubbed her eyes, smiling weakly. “Thanks, Mermista. Sorry, I guess I should’ve warned you, she gets really intense when she actually puts effort into things.”

“She’s not someone I would’ve pegged for a workaholic. Want me to wake her up to say... I dunno, good night or whatever you guys say to each other?”

“Nah, let her sleep.” Adora wanted Catra home, wanted to talk to her about a vacation, but she was sleeping, and that was more important than anything. She’d been exhausting herself for nearly a month working on Salineas. And while it was earning her some begrudging tolerant will with Mermista (who firmly believed actions were better than any apology Catra could ever say), Adora was worried. A vacation would really do her some good. * * * * * * * * * * * * Glimmer and Adora went to Salineas the next morning to get Catra. They thought it was reasonable to assume she was still sleeping off the heat stroke at the palace.

“Nope, she took off before I woke up,” Mermista said flatly when they found her. “Sea Hawk tried to find her, but he’s not exactly subtle about it, so she probably had plenty of time to hide.”

“Great.” Adora sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I’ll... track her down.”

“Tell her if she’s going to keel over to get out of my kingdom. She can die on Bright Moon’s turf.”

“Tell her not to die,” Glimmer added.

“Yes, and yes.”

Mermista pointed Adora in the direction of where they’d found Catra yesterday. She approached a half built house, quietly climbing up the ladder at the side and finding Catra working on the roofing.

“Seriously?” she asked, resting her arms on the edge of the roof. Catra looked up, surprised.

“What?”

She looked exhausted, her face flushed red. Adora sighed. “Are you coming home any time soon?”

“Yeah, yeah.” She went back to work, distracted. “Sorry, I dunno what happened yesterday.”

“You made yourself sick working in the sun all day.”

“Sea Hawk overreacted.” Catra waved Adora off. “He’s just scared you’d kill him if you found he let me overwork myself.”

“Sooooo you’re admitting it?”

“No, that’s just his logic.”

Adora shook her head. “Come on, take the day off and come home. I wanna talk to you about something.”

“I really need to finish this.”

There was a weird moment where Adora thought she understood how Catra had felt for years. Catra had been working nonstop on Salineas for a month, and Adora was starting to feel a little ignored.

But she also understood Catra’s side. She took a deep breath, hauling herself up onto the roof and crawling over to Catra, gently putting her hand on Catra’s and stopping the hammer. “Hey. I get it, okay? But you’re not responsible for fixing all of Salineas.”

“Actually, I kind of am,” Catra replied bitterly. She was far too warm for it to be comfortable.

“I’m pretty sure Hordak could stand to take a little more responsibility than he has.” Adora couldn’t help but be a bit bitter about that. He had mostly stayed in Dryl, working with Entrapta on tech that would help with the rebuilding process. And that was great and all, but it wasn’t much compared to Catra being out here every day working herself half to death.

Catra let out a long sigh, finally relaxing her hand. “I just... need to do this, Adora. Okay?”

“I get that, but you don’t need to do it at the expense of your own health. And yes, I know I’m a hypocrite. But I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” Adora squeezed her hand. “And that’s okay. Have you eaten anything?”

“No.” The honesty was nice.

“Did you skip eating because you felt sick?” Catra nodded. “Okay. So... you can leave with me, or Mermista can wash you out to sea so you don’t die in her kingdom.”

Catra looked around, and sighed, finally nodding. “Okay. Let’s go.”

Getting her back to solid ground was a bit dicey, but she held herself up and managed to walk back to the palace without much help.

“She lives,” Mermista said dryly when they arrived back at the palace. Glimmer smiled, although she couldn’t hide her worry.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine.” Catra smothered a yawn, scrubbing her eyes.

“Picture of health all right,” Mermista deadpanned. “Look, you built like, an entire neighborhood on your own. Come back when you’re not burning up.”

Glimmer rested a hand on Catra’s shoulder, wincing when she felt the heat radiating off of her. Adora took a moment to whisper, “Thank you for taking care of her,” to Mermista. The princess shrugged.

“Yeah, you know. Whatever.”

Catra was not happy with the teleport back to Bright Moon. Glimmer put them close enough to the bed so she could drop straight onto it, groaning. Good luck, the queen mouthed before disappearing. Adora went to the bathroom, wet a washcloth with cold water, and returned to the bed, resting the cloth on the back of Catra’s neck. She shivered.

“Cold.”

“Yes, because you’re burning hot.” Adora settled in next to her. “So, I had an idea, and I already know you’re going to argue with it, but hear me out.” Catra hummed in affirmation. “I was thinking we should take some time off. You and me. I was thinking traveling, but now I’m thinking maybe go visit Frosta and spend a week in the snow.”

“Oh hell no,” Catra muttered. “I am not going anywhere with snow. That’s where I draw the line.”

“But you’re agreeing to the vacation?”

“I dunno.” Catra raised her head. “When? Can it wait until Salineas is-”

“No.” Adora gently clasped Catra’s face in her hands. “I know this is hard for you, but you can’t hurt yourself trying to fix things. That won’t accomplish anything, and nobody wants to see you hurting, not even Mermista.”

Catra looked ready to argue, but something in her expression flickered. “You’re willing to take time off just to do nothing?”

“Not nothing. To spend time with you. We can hold each other accountable. You keep me strapped down, and I’ll lie on top of you to make sure you don’t run off to Salineas.”

Tears slowly filled Catra’s eyes, and Adora panicked for a moment before Catra spoke. “You’d... really take time off to spend time with me?”

“Of course.” Adora kissed her gently. “I love you, Catra. And I know we’ve been through a lot and done a lot that doesn’t really... support that, and I want to prove it now. And I want to take care of you.”

The moment of silence between them was comfortable. The same silence they could have spent hours in at one point in their lives. “I love you too,” Catra finally murmured. “Maybe taking some off to spend together wouldn’t be so bad. If only to see you try and relax.”

“Ha. Ha.” Adora grabbed the washcloth and began gently wiping Catra’s face. “Glimmer gave us a month, but I’m pretty sure she’ll be happy if we want to take more. Let’s start with getting you better, then we can figure out what we want to do from there. Okay?”

“Yeah.” Catra snuggled into Adora’s chest, taking a deep breath. “That sounds good.”

It had worked. Adora couldn’t believe it. “So uh... I’m doing this relationship thing pretty good, huh?”

Catra snorted, reaching up to push her face away. “Get over yourself.”

[pestopascal]

While I will absolutely agree that CB2077 isn’t the ONLY game doing all this bullshit, or that other AAA studios don’t deserve the flack CDPR is getting, I have to say that this is absolutely the perfect storm and I think people are FINALLY seeing the problems in modern AAA gaming. CB2077 might be fun to play, may have a good story, but it’s almost impossible to see because of the glaring issues. Which, honestly, is a good thing. I hope games change after this.

under here

AAA studios have been like this and this sort of release has been completely normalised on all accounts by both the businesses themselves and fans because of the inherent reliance on modders (bethesda at the forefront of this), as well as the pushback every time companies actually go ‘uh we need a lil more time’ (although... they just shouldnt announce potential release dates, im even of the camp they shouldnt even start releasing the game until like 6 months out from their official date because they fuck it up every time. borderlands 3 being the only game i know of being in “secret” development and then announcing itself in march for a september release. game itself aside, thats how companies should do it). easily i can remember a lot of 2011 release games which have had the exact same issues as cp77′s release, and then every other game in between since. very rarely do you actually have a game that isn’t a fucked up mess of a pile of pixels. and it is always the customisable character ones that are honestly, genuinely, ugly looking at release. but you can definitely say its been happening looooooong before 2011, with unrealistic expectations, word limits, 11 month time frames, offloading sequels to smaller companies so they can suffer if it fails, etc etc. the entire system has been like this for so long... they dont know any real different nowadays.

i mean look. tlou2 released under crunch conditions this year, and was rewarded. it was ALL over the social media feeds, it was quite the controversy because, surprise surprise, the company promised they wouldnt do it uwu and then. bam ! crunch conditions. literally around that time too, bioware employees came out with a statement saying ‘man we wish dai FAILED so that back in 2014 we couldve proven crunch was a wrong practice’. they say this as well after having to produce da2 in 14 months, which just suffered from fans and journalism for reusing environments, because it was produced in 14 months, and honestly? no one pointed that out back then, bioware themselves pointed it out again this year, 6 years after release, that that game was produced in 14 months. rdr2′s release was hounded by stories of crunch, and they all disappeared into the night because... it was heralded as the best game of all time. that was 2018, 2 years ago.

i think too is that some people get kind of ... morally and ethically concerned. which is understandable. can you consume something when you know it was made under conditions like crunch? and i think one of the most confronting things about it is that 9/10, not only has your favourite company engaged in crunch conditions, they almost actively choose to continue with them. and then that’s a whole other bag of issues blown up over there when it comes to what is able to be consumed what isn’t etc etc

i think also like a mix of marketing, promises and then the expectations of what the game will be like have really had cdpr earn the ire of fans which is just like... you don’t believe what these companies are saying. you never should, esp when it’s their ceo’s saying it who don’t work on the actual floor. bioware itself is the main culprit of doing this to the point they finally came around with all the da4 concept art and teasing to be like ‘ummm but actually dont get invested?’. remember all that qunari lady fanart that bioware management was like ... please dont get attached? yeah. yeah. like at what point as well is there going to be heavy level of apprehension to approach this? and i can’t really talk either, i cracked open the door for mass effect again. i know exactly what kind of shit bioware will pull, i know they are teasing it already on social media, but mass effect is my ride or die series. that’s why people keep opening the door on letting these companies get away with it. and you can’t fault fans entirely either because this is down to a science of how to get money. i mean, fuck, mass effect andromeda’s entire advertising campaign HINGED on the n7 logo. for the nostalgia value. and i see text posts in the same vein of both ‘guys, disney isnt gonna fuck you if you consume every remake for nostalgia value’ and ‘its understandable why people do it’.

so then you have to go ‘well are fans as just to blame’ and then that’s a whole other argument.

i think also like. i personally havent run into aaaannnyyyyyyy of the issues that you see posted online. which is ironic bc 1) i play on ps4 and 2) its an old dusty ps4. in fact a lot of ppl i have spoken to who have had issues have played on pc. does this mean the glitches dont exist? ofc not, the vids and screenshots are right there. but like... ive had a basically unhindered experience so far, and i get where ppl are coming from (i do, i promise) where theyve basically found the game unplayable. is there also a standard of what ppl consider unplayable because ive played most AAA games at launch when they basically rushed to slap the box label on the game and called it a day until they work on patches. when ppl consider unplayable is also just... different per person. some people have a slight blur on the screen when turning too fast even in an MMO and decide the game is horrible and unplayable. some people can have broken quests and npcs not loading and falling through maps and still be fine. there’s no agreed statement of what makes a game unplayable either, which is why you read threads on twitter and someone goes ‘yeah this npc t-posed so i quit in the first hour’ with a dozen replies. everyone has different levels of it.

it’s a mixed bag of issues. im not excusing cdpr, but the ppl who worked on the game are honestly likely not the ones who pushed for a release. you’ve gotta look at sony and microsoft and ceo’s with bonuses coming up and the investors and shareholders and people who sit behind computers and read numbers detailing interest and demand and supply and how every single time they had to delay this game, the loudest (but smallest) bunch of assholes on like reddit and in the twitter threads complained that it was delayed AGAIN even though back in what 2015? they said it’ll come out when it’s ready. and yeah there are times when game delays result in a mismatched half assed sort of story (kh3... p5... ffxv... dai...) and then there are times when, if they need to delay the game... they probably need to delay the game. sometimes delays are bad sometimes theyre good sometimes you are sitting there like whew if you only didn’t try to be like THIS TIME this is the release date.

the ONLY WAY this will stop happening is, quite frankly, unionising. and everyone is allergic to that whole concept so like... this is “the perfect storm” as you put it. but it’s also not. people have been so disappointed over the last 2 years alone for gaming companies, the final product, the attitudes from higher ups, that i think cdpr is receiving a good few years worth of anger. i think theyre also on the receiving end of misdirection from american fans who still don’t fucking get the company isn’t american, because that’s another bag of issues as well. like we’re holding at least 8 bags of groceries out of the back of the car now, and we don’t want to take another trip, because there are so many little bits of this entire situation to look at. there’s so much back and forth.

i think the worst, but most realistic thing is: games won’t change. how they will social media wise will. maybe. assuming bioware gets their heads out their asses but... they’re going to be a lot more careful. i mean, hell, sony offered refunds. that was just a publicity stint. they dont give a fuck if the game was bad. as i said before, if they did, they would make all companies fix trophy problems, starting from like 2010 or whenever the trophy system first came out. they just don’t wanna fall in alongside cdpr being thrown on its sword. but the companies are gonna learn from this, get smarter, still do the same shit to their employees, still pay off journalists, still do media blackouts, etc etc. and we’re gonna be here in another year’s time, with another game, having these same roundabout arguments, and cp77′s issues are gonna fade into just a wikipedia article.

[avengersassemble-fics]

Lost and Found

Anakin Skywalker x Reader

Summary: Set slightly before ROTS, the war with the Separatists was at an all time high. The war was being fought on all fronts, with the Jedi at the forefront of almost every battle. Anakin and his 501st regiment are on their way to meet up with Obi-Wan and his fleet to help protect a planet that’s about to be attacked by the droid army. Anakin begins to feel something in the Force, that leads him to finding something he thought was long lost.

part 01/10 “a surprise”

Word Count: 4.5k

an: so this is kinda like a mix of the movies and tcw series. as far as anakins mannerisms and development but!! i hope you enjoy, im very passionate about these star wars stories right now :) also!! don’t come at me for anakin/padme’s relationship sorry but im working around that

thank you again to @omg-i-am-lord-voldemort for reading through this. you’re the best :)

spotify playlist to listen to while you’re reading!

There was a disturbance in the Force.

It felt like a cry for help, it felt like a desperate clawing at a life that is fading. But one thing that Anakin Skywalker knew was that he heard his name being called for.

It happened in the dark moments of the night, the stars laid out around the cruise ship he commanded, somewhere near the Outer Rim. He had just managed to fall asleep, but the voice still rang in his ears.

Anakin-

He had stirred awake, his eyes staring into the darkness of his small cabin, and he sat upwards, the blanket he had over his torso falling into his lap. He was confused, but he knew, he knew, he had heard the voice, felt it in his soul. He had tried to meditate to reconnect with that voice, that feeling, but he couldn’t find it again.

He was scheduled to meet up with Obi-Wan the following day to continue on a joint mission to an Outer Rim planet that the Separatists were attempting to invade. There was a large colony, an ally of the Republic, that was facing imminent attack by the droid army, and Obi-Wan and him were being sent to protect the people, along with the 501st squadron.

Obi-Wan stood alongside Anakin as they were being briefed on the mission at hand, but all Anakin could think about was speaking with his master about what he had felt, and if maybe he felt it too. He wasn’t paying much attention as Captain Rex went over the information they had on the colony, the man who was their elected ruler, the terrain, everything Rex had said went in one ear and out the other. Not that Anakin would ever admit that to anyone.

Finally, Obi-Wan had motioned for his padawan to follow him to their ships to leave to the planet below. Anakin’s strides matched his, and Obi-Wan was the first to speak.

“Is something troubling you?”

Anakin shook his head, “I was hoping to speak with you about something I had felt last night, there was a disturbance in the Force, I felt.. Like something, or someone, was calling for help.”

“Yes,” Obi-Wan replied, “I felt it too.”

“I had never felt something that strong,” Anakin continued, “it felt.. close. And I could’ve sworn I heard my name as well.”

“Hm,” Obi-Wan paused, as the two men waited for a lift to arrive, he stroked his beard, “I can’t say I felt that presence.”

The turbo lift had arrived and opened for them to enter. When they did it proceeded to close, and whisk them towards their ship bay.

“But I know it,” Anakin said, “someone called for me.”

The lift opened, and Anakin took a step out, and Obi-Wan followed, “You may be right, but Anakin,” he paused and Anakin looked behind him at his Master, who held a stern gaze, “please be alert on this mission, I fear we are closer to the source than anticipated.”

“Yes, Master.” Anakin answered. The two men nodded their farewells and went their separate ways - Anakin to his ship and Obi-Wan to his. Both ships were to lead a handful of Clone ships down to the surface, and to begin setting up a defense against the anticipated attack. Anakin neared his ship and nodded towards the Clones he passed on the way, and set his hands on ship, his pal R2-D2 whirled around to face him in the droid slot.

“You ready R2?” He asked, climbing into the small cockpit, and settled in for the relatively short trip down. R2 chirped happily at him, and he smiled, flipping a few switches and the engine of the aircraft coming to life. The clear top slid closed as Anakin put a lightweight headset on, and he readied his ship to lift from the ground.

“Try not to fly too hastily,” Obi-Wan’s voice rang in his ears, and Anakin just grinned.

“Can’t promise you that Master.”

The sunlight was prominent through the sparse trees that lined the ground of the city. Mostly a rocky terrain, absolutely not to be confused with Geonosis he’d say, there was a bountiful piece of land the city resided on that was home to a trickle of a river, and a few trees that stood gorgeously large in the middle of the city. The hot planet was otherwise rather calm and cool here, the old natives would say this was because of the fact it was a holy place, but he chalked it up to just being one of the planets characteristics. He was standing in front of his humbly appointed advisors, each who had their eyes locked to the ground, and watched as the Republic vessels landed before him.

How lucky for him to be the host of two Jedi and the famous 501st regime. What an honor!

He cared deeply about honor.

He watched for a moment as the two Jedi hopped out their respective ships, and the large carriers opened to reveal dozens of clone troopers. He smiled at the two gentleman who began to make their way over, and he moved to meet them halfway.

“Master Kenobi and Master Skywalker,” he greeted, clasping his hands together and bowing his head slightly, “it is the highest honor to meet you, even under the dire circumstances.”

“Governor Shuule, thank you for offering to meet with us,” Obi-Wan greeted, his padawan quiet as he observed the surroundings.

“Of course, once we were paid a visit by Count Dooku, I had to alert the Republic immediately,” he nodded as he spoke, “my highest concern is the safety of my people.”

“As is ours,” Obi-Wan replied, and the governor motioned for the two men to follow him into the polished government building.

The words leaving Governor Shuule’s mouth seemed lined with honey, sweet and silky but sticky. He spoke about how the residents of this “fine city” were those who fled their worlds seeking a safe place to call home, and every person they passed by offered a smile - yet they didn’t feel genuine.

There was a disturbance in the Force.

Anakin could still feel it! It kept him on edge, and he allowed his Master to do a majority of the speaking. His mind, on the other hand, wondered, trying to make sense of this feeling-

-that’s how most of the day had passed without him even realizing. The Governor was offering them a chance to clean up before dinner was served. But of course we’ve already sent some food for your troops, he said as they were leaving the room. Anakin let out a pent up sigh, and Obi-Wan chuckled.

“I have never seen you so pensive, Anakin.”

“I’m sorry Master,” he replied and the two began to walk down the corridor towards the exit to outside, there, Rex and Fives were standing with a couple others, discussing something, “but honestly this place gives me the chills.”

“It feels too perfect,” Obi-Wan replied, earning a nod of the head from his Padawan, and as they neared the clones, all but Rex and Fives went off to their posts, and the two remaining clones stood a little straighter, holding their helmets on their hips and ready to give their reports.

“Sir, the outside wall has been secured and set with troops around the perimeter, keeping watch for the night. Most of the civilians have been accounted-“

“Most?” Anakin interjected, receiving a nod from Fives.

“Yes sir, there’s about 3 dozen unaccounted for.”

“That’s far too many,” Obi-Wan replied, there was a happy holler from down which they came. Looking over their shoulders the Governor was waving to them from near the room they came, dinner must have been ready. The two Jedi glanced at one another, almost like reading one another’s mind, and Obi-Wan nodded, leaving Anakin alone with his troops.

“I want you two to search this place, top to bottom,” he ordered, talking lowly for only them to hear, “something feels off, and I want to know what that is. Especially with that many people just unaccounted for.”

“Yes sir,” the two clones said in almost perfect unison, and Anakin nodded, following his Masters footsteps to join the Governor and a few others for a meal.

-

The sun had set a while ago, the grounds were dark all along the buildings, some lights illuminating the small residential buildings, others turned off as the two clone troopers walked down the road. The city was like a large circle, making it a bit easier to know where they were going. Both men were chatting as they walked alongside one another, glancing in either direction for anything they hadn’t yet noticed.

“It’s getting late,” Fives commented at one point as they were about to round the corner back towards the front of the largest building, the center of it all, that housed the Governor.

“You heard Commander Skywalker, search top to bottom.”

“Yeah,” Fives scoffed, “search top to bottom of what? Dirt?”

Rex stopped and faced the other clone, tapping his friend on the arm, “We do what we were told, take a look again and see if we missed anything.”

“Alright alright, fine,” the other replied, and they both faced the front of the city, but Rex shoved his arm forward for his friend to stop, giving a quiet stop order, and Fives followed his gaze.

In the distance, they saw Governor Shuule exiting one of the resident buildings, glancing around for anyone who was watching. The two clones quickly stepped around the corner of the nearest building to hide in the shadows, kneeling to the ground to stay as quiet as possible. Rex quickly turned his helmet light off and peered around the corner once again.

Governor Shuule quickly moved around the corner of the door, shutting it tightly behind him and seeming to release a pent up breath. His body relaxed for a moment before straightening and spinning around to face the entrance of his own palace (although he wouldn’t call it that, it was a “home to many”).

Rex’s stomach dropped for a moment, watching the man almost float back inside, carrying himself with as much pride as Dooku did.

“What was that about?” Fives finally spoke, and Rex looked back at him.

“No idea. Wanna find out?”

“Don’t even need to ask,” Fives replied, and both clones carefully made their way to the dark home the Governor had just left.

It was a normal cottage, well as normal as the other ones had looked at least. The outer wall was made of rock, keeping with the design of the tall mountains found nearby, with a metal door and normal windows. Not suspicious at all, unless someone is sneaking out of it of course. Of course, it was locked by a hand scanner, but Rex scoffed.

“Easy,” he mumbled, pulling something from his utility belt and dusting it onto the panel. It was silent for a few moments before beeping happily, and the metal door slid open. Both clones stepped carefully inside, and activated the lights on their helmets once again.

The outside of the building made it look as if there was a large room you were entering into, but that wasn’t the case. The clones stood on a small landing, but the ground beneath them descended down into a dark pit, stairs seeming to twist around a corner. Rex took the lead, taking quiet steps down the stairs, Fives just a few steps behind.

“What do you think he is keeping down here?” Fives questioned, earning a shrug from his companion.

“Something he doesn’t want us to know about,” Rex offered.

The stairs seemed to just keep spiraling, leading the two men deeper and deeper into the ground. The rocky texture was similar to the rest of the planet, with a hung light every once in awhile. How anyone could see down here without proper light, they didn’t know. The deeper they went, there were noises that seemed to resonate louder with each step.

Rex lifted his hand and stopped walking, Fives halting his movements and glancing down, “What is it?”

“There’s an opening,” Rex replied, motioning to the few steps left that were brightly lit, indicating an opening that had some source of light in it. The noise they could make out clearly now sounded like chatter around a room, “Proceed with caution, we don’t know what we’re about to walk into.”

“Yes, sir,” Fives replied, and the two made their final steps down, not prepared for what they were about to see.

The room was a large cave, littered with what they could imagine were the 30 missing souls. There were so many different species, and as they stepped down into the opening, in awe, a group off to the side turned around.

“What the-“

“Clones! We’re saved!”

“They’ve found us!”

Voices began to radiate in the rocky cavern, and with a glance between the two, Rex and Fives took a couple steps forward towards the group that was approaching them. A Twilek, a couple humans, and a Quarren stood in front of them.

“What is going on here?” Rex questioned.

“Shuule has imprisoned us down here,” the Quarren replied, his voice hoarse, “many of us are sick, in desperate need of medical attention.”

“How many of you are there?” Fives asked next.

“Thirty in total,” the Twilek spoke next, her eyes were dark and droopy, “about a dozen are sick, we haven’t eaten in days.”

Fives looked to Rex, who glanced only for a moment at him, “Why would Shuule hide his own people down here with no food?”

“His people..” a human voice managed from the back, causing the Twilek and Quarren to move out of the way. Behind them stood a human female, whose face looked hollow around the cheeks, and skin that had hints of purple like they were freezing. Definitely the worst of the crowd, they were being helped stood up by another on their side.

“Shuule has made his mark in this world by.. by stealing people from their homes.. families,” their voice shook with each word, and as they spoke the crowd only seemed to grow, “and bringing them here to be his slaves.”

Slaves.

Anakin hated slave owners. It made his skin crawl and blood boil when Rex told him over their comm links. Obi-Wan and Anakin had excused themselves when their commas blinked green, indicating a message coming in. Obi-Wan quickly turned to his Padawan, who he had to grasp onto.

“Anakin-“

“That dirty, no good lying son of a-“

“Anakin!” Obi-Wan’s voice was more forceful this time, making his Padawan stop, breathing heavily with his fists clenched, “We cannot make a hasty judgement right now, we don’t know what Shuule is capable of.”

“Oh I can tell you what he’s capable of that disgusting-“

“Our best course of action,” he interrupted, “is to have Rex and Fives evacuate those who are locked away, get them to a medical ship and then the rest to safety. Return them to their homes if we can.”

Anakin shook his head, finally letting out a more calmed tone of voice, “You’re right, Master. We‘ll distract him, and have the men evacuate those people.”

-

Looking at the same rocky walls everyday was torture in a new way. And you had been a slave on Tatooine until you were of age and your parents debts were paid off. Needless to say, these orange rocks made you feel crazier then the hot sand of your early life.

You were the first to revolt against Shuule. You had earned you freedom from Tatooine and he stole that from you the day before you were set to leave that desert planet. You were tired of having to wait hand and foot on a man you had hoped to just perish one day.

It’s what he deserved for everything he had done, to everyone here.

You said no to his orders, stunning him and others. He turned around so quickly with his hand fiercely against your face. It had stung, but you didn’t back down.

You said no.

He promptly locked you down here. It was a shock that he had it ready for a situation like this but you weren’t surprised, he was capable of the dirtiest and lowest of things. The first two nights you curled into a ball against this stupid rock and didn’t sleep much.

He visited you two days later, carrying food and water on a silver platter and kneeling in front of you. He had honey eyes and a somber look on his face, offering your sad soul the water first. You took it. That was your mistake. He let you finish everything, really you had inhaled it but there was no difference, with a smug grin. That was when he told you.

“You chose this ending my love.. but don’t worry, the poison should work soon enough.”

You were dying. That bastard poisoned you, and almost everyone else who came down here. You had tried to warn them not to eat the food, and some had listened, but the call of hunger was too strong for some. It had only been a few days, most surviving off just water but we all knew that wouldn’t be able to last forever.

“What are we going to do?” your Quarren friend asked. There was a group of you, the first ones who had been down here, that were looked to as leaders. The ones who wanted to revolt in the first place. Ultimately, the ones who caused this mess.

“Someone will come. Someone will find us,” you managed, your voice weak and you rested your back against another’s.

“How do you know that?”

“I have hope,” you smiled.

Then here they were. The clones now identified as Commander Rex and Fives. They walked around, scanning everyone and counting each head. As soldiers do. When they came to you, Fives was the one to speak to you first.

“What’s your name?”

“(Y/N),” you managed. Your group of friends surrounded you, letting you rest against the rocky wall, your arms laid in your lap and your eyes tired. They looked at you with pity.

You hated that.

“And your last name?” Rex had asked.

You shook your head, “Don’t-“ you closed your eyes, your breath hitching in your throat.

“It’s okay,” Fives places his heavy hand over yours, “we’re going to help you. I promise.”

You nodded, opening your eyes to meet the face of the two men before you, “I know.. I knew you would come.”

“You did,” Rex more so said then asked.

You offered a weak smile, “Maybe not you two specifically.. but I knew someone would. Better now than later.”

“Was that a joke?” Gives asked you, earning a nod from you in response. They chuckled for a moment, before there was a sudden shake in the ground.

“That can’t be good,” Fives commented, both of them standing and placing their helmets on.

“Go up and see what the devil is going on,” Rex commanded. Fives responded with a yes sir and hurried back up the stairs. Others in the cave began to chatter, and your friends all knelt down to help you up.

You felt you didn’t have much longer, but maybe if you could just manage up those stairs-

Rex stood and put his helmet back on, and Fives was scurrying back down, “Sir! The door is blocked. The droids have attacked the city, General Kenobi has sent some of the others to secure the rest of the people, but we cannot get out the way we came.”

Those nearby began to talk louder, what were they to do now? Rex looked all around, before noticing in the distance what seemed to be an opening, maybe a way out. He pointed where the cave opened to darkness.

“Where does that lead?” He asked.

“That.. It shouldn’t go anywhere.” One of your friends answered.

“Well we need to try,” Rex said, “we have to try and get out of here, and survive. It’s our best bet.”

You nodded in agreement, struggling to hold yourself up even with the help of others. They were weak as well, but Captain Rex and Fives were quick to hold you upright. They motioned for your friends to let them help you, and they obliged.

“Thank you,” you said to them both.

“We wouldn’t dream of leaving you behind,” Fives commented, earning a small laugh from you. That made him smile beneath his helmet, all while Rex shook his head. Not the time or place, he thought.

People hurried down the dark cave opening, it was almost like a perfectly made hallway. Where did it go? No one knew. The only lights guiding them were produced from the helmets of the clone troopers. It felt like you were walking forever, but maybe that was just because your strength was leaving your body. A couple times the men had to almost lift you enough that your feet glided across the ground.

You told yourself you would not die on this planet.

The crowd seemed to come to a stop, the people in front of you becoming more and more vocal. Rex and Fives, while carrying you at this point, had to push their way through the crowd.

Your stomach dropped at the sight, maybe even theirs as well. The cave did come to a large opening.

But it was completely blocked by boulders. Something must have caved in. Needless to say, you were trapped. Some people began to weep. The ground still occasionally shook as a battle raged up top, some words filtered through your mind.

We’re trapped!

I can’t go back, my legs are too weak.

I just want to go home.

“Put me down,” you mustered, earning a glance from Rex, “please just put me down.”

They set you back down enough to where your feet touched the ground, your legs wobbled a bit under the pressure, but you released your arms that were hung around each clones shoulders. You took a step forward, and those around you parted slightly.

“(Y/N)-“ a voice said, you’re not too sure who said it, not in that moment.

“I’m not dying like this,” you said, pausing only for a moment as the rest of the people in front of you, “we are not dying like this. Not here, not in this place,” you were finally in front of everyone gazing at the rocks in front of you, “I had hope and I could feel someone would come and find us, and I’m not giving that hope up.”

You had never done this before. Not really. It was only ever just a feeling that you would follow. You took a breath and with closed eyes, you just focused on that feeling. You didn’t know what you were doing, but the silence you had once heard filled your ears in a tone that felt like you were fading yourself.

But then your skin felt warm.

Your eyes fluttered open only for a moment, and the rocks that were once in front of you were know gone, seemingly placed somewhere else in the canyon that was now opened to you. Those around you hurried past you, but your legs buckled from below you.

Rex was the one who caught you before you hit the ground, your eyes closed tightly and skin cool to the touch. What he had just witnessed was something he believed only a Jedi could do. The com on his wrist blinked green, Fives was busy keeping everyone together, and checking on those who had to lower themselves to the ground to sit.

“Captain Rex, please come in,” the voice called. He could recognize it as General Skywalker any day, he knelt down as he held you in his free arm.

“Sir, we’ve managed to get out the cave, but-“

“That’s great, we’re sending a medical transport to your location now.”

“Yes sir,” Rex replies into the com, “but General-“

“We can discuss it when we return to the ship, but right now we need to focus on getting everyone to safety, and Shuule in for his conviction.”

“Yes, sir,” he replied, focusing down at your nearly lifeless body.

-

How did you get here?

When your eyes finally reopened you were in a bed, a blanket over top your body, and the room was large, fitting multiple people in a row on each of your sides. Your head fell to the side as you tried to find something of familiarity, only seeing a medical droid a few beds down, along with the clone you had come to know as Fives. He glanced up at just the right moment, saying something to the droid, before making his way over.

“How’re we feeling?” he asked you. Your head rolled back so you were looking straight at the ceiling, the medical droid coming over to read your vitals.

“I feel.. Good. Better than before,” you answered, earning a nod and small smile.

“I’ve been tasked with trying to locate everybody’s home worlds, and finding them a way back to their families, so can you tell me-”

“I don’t have a home,” you cut him off, your eyes were locked with his but he diverted them away from yours. He cleared his throat, and moved out the way as the medical droid asked you if he could sit you upright. You nodded, pushing yourself up on your elbows as it adjusted your pillows, and helped you slide backwards into a sitting position.

“Where were you hoping to go then?”

You thought about it for a moment, “I don’t really know.. When I was freed I had bought passage on the next ship out, I didn’t care where. I was going to look for someone.”

“And who was that?” he asked you.

Anakin was walking alongside his Master towards the bay they had converted into a place to house the refugees. The two were engrossed in a conversation, being followed by Rex behind them. They were heading to follow up with Fives about what he has documented so far. Anakin had to postpone his debriefing with Captain Rex for the moment as they awaited new orders about getting these people back to their homes.

Obi-Wan had told Anakin he was proud of him and how he handled Shuule, and not letting his anger dictate his actions. Anakin nodded, but he was still disgusted with the whole ordeal. He had yet to completely process the last 24 hours, especially with his lack of sleep, but he did feel more at ease.

The Force felt oddly calm.

The doors to the bay opened for the three man group, and they entered still having a casual discussion.

“The Council will have to act fast in this regard,” Obi-Wan was commenting. Anakin nodded, and they neared where Fives stood, “they may decide to send smaller vessels, avoid any kind of detection-”

“Ani?”

Anakin paused. No one besides Padme called him Ani, but it certainly was not her voice that quietly filled the room. It was uncertain, laced with a sweetness he hadn’t heard in awhile. Everyone was watching, and Anakin’s body faced the source of the voice. His mouth parted slightly in confusion, processing what was in front of him.

“(Y/N)?”

[asapncah]

hello  my  sweet  darling  angels  .  it  is  me  ,  lenny  ,  and  i  am  quite  truiy  holding  back  tears  as  i  write  this  because  i  don’t  think  i’ve  ever  missed  anything  as  much  as  i  have  missed  moreau  ...  anyways  !  enough  rambling  lenny  ,  get  to  the  true  queen  here  :  noah  .  below  the  cut  is  my  Novel™️  about  my  dear  noella  de  luca  ,  otherwise  known  as  my  favourite  muse  ever  .  if  you  like  what  you  see  down  below  ,  just  LIKE  this  post  or  hmu  and  we  can  create  magic  !

˗ˏˋ ✧ ariana grande • twenty-three • cisfemale . look ! it's noella de luca from apartment 4B ! apparently , she moved into moreau apartments 1 year ago and is a waitress . rumor has it, they can be quite possessive — good thing they’re also adventurous , hey ? i hear they’re known as the hedonist of the building . 

↘︎ 𝕓𝕒𝕤𝕚𝕔𝕤 !

given name : noella sofie de luca

nicknames : noah, no

age : twenty3

birthdate : march 18, 1995

hometown : keremeos, british columbia

occupation : waitress & dog walker

↘︎ 𝕙𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪 !

so i will be trying to sum up noah’s history in a few bullet points here , cause ya girl tends to ramble far too much , but if you’d like to dive a lil deeper , you can check out the bio that i wrote for her right here !

so her parents separated when noah was quite young but they remained close friends and business partners of the campground they purchased and renovated in their 20s

willa remained in their cozy home in keremeos to primarily raise noah and handle the financial end of things while antonio permanently moved onto the campground as a year-round mangager

noah visited her father practically ever other weekend, mastering the wilderness and reenacting snow white scenes 

there is honestly no big sob story here. she had a wonderful childhood filled with chasing butterflies, jumping in leaf piles, cuddling with her pets, and laughing with her parents

keremeos will always be her home, but by the time she was 20, noah yearned to escape the confines of her small town. her wanderlust was an itch that no amount of trips to the mountains could scratch, so she set her sights on something bigger: europe

with the help of her parents, noah saved up for the trip of a lifetime, which she embarked on shortly before her 21st birthday and didn’t return from for many months

though she ventured all across the european countryside, much of her trip was spent in italy as she reconnected with her roots and fell in love with the country, particularly florence and pisa

she paid her dues working in a small italian cafe in florence owned by an adorable old woman that reminded her of her own grandmother, and noah made italy her home for many weeks, only returning home due to missing her parents and a dwindling bank account

↘︎ 𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕥 !

vancouver became her home shortly after her 22nd birthday, a handful of months after she returned from europe. after experiencing the foreign continent’s beauty, keremeos felt small and stifling to her. the small town held no feeling of intrigue or adventure anymore so she made the big move to vancouver in the hopes of finding something more

the big city held a sort of vibrance for her, having visited a handful of times with her mother for big shopping trips and weekend getaways, and somehow the small town girl melted into the big city easily

she moved into moreau apartments upon finding a listing in the newspaper and honestly has never been happier

due to her absolute inability to sit still and be bored, noah works 3 jobs in vancouver : waitress, dog walker, and pole dance instructor

waitress : she serves in an adorable, cozy local restaurant down granville street close to the apartment building, mostly working morning or late night shifts

dog walker : to fuel her love for animals, noah’s gained a reputation in the neighbourhood as one of the most reliable dog walkers. you can often catch her with a small herd of hounds at any time of day, handling the tangling leashes like a pro

pole dance instructor : she found a studio shortly after her move to vancouver, wanting a physical and creative outlet for herself. she fell in love with pole dancing after going outside of her comfort zone and mastered the skill quickly, promptly bringing the owner to offer her a part time job instructing a beginner’s class on the weekends

↘︎ 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣 !

aesthetics : freshly picked peaches. crisp mountain air. old denim ripped and stained from wild adventures. perfectly painted nails. thriving house plants. the scent of fresh coffee and sweet lotion. journals inked with stories and rhymes. rose gold jewelry. caramel waves blowing in the wind. hazy rooms and endless laughter.

notable traits : passionate, possessive, adventurous, charming, optimistic, honest, naive, self-indulgent, reckless

best described as a freshly blossomed rose, grown in the canadian wilderness and weathered by the elements, with blushing petals beautiful enough to draw you in and thorns sharp enough to protect herself.

willa and antonio raised their daughter to have a strong head on her shoulders. their independence, wild hearts, and honesty passed down to noah easily. she’s certainly her father’s daughter in terms of her curiosity, need for adventure, and determination, but her mother shines through noah’s feminist independence, brutal honesty, and passion for creativity.

in terms of how noah’s young experiences changed her constant state of wonderment as a child, she’s definitely grown tougher and carries herself with an obvious sense of responsibility to protect herself. she likes to believe the walls she’s built to protect herself while exploring a foreign country stand strong and tall, but she often falls prey to charming smiles, trusting words, and careful eyes — it’s something she’s constantly working on, always chastising herself whenever she falls too easily

at first sight, she’s a small girl with a big mouth. her personality purposefully magnified to hide the fact that she’s afraid of getting attached. her sailor’s mouth is a surprise to most, along with her openness with her sexuality and honesty when it comes to just about anything she has a strong opinion on ( feminism, equal rights, lgbtq+ issues, animal cruelty, etC )

but for better or for worse, noah generally prides herself for having hardly a care in the world. many of her days just go with the flow and she’s not worried about her future — the future is today, as she likes to say to convince her friends to join her on one of her many adventures

one of the greatest friends one could ask for because of her strong loyalty, charming smile, generosity, and taste for adventure ( it also helps that, thanks to her green thumb, this one grows the best weed in moreau ajklsh ) she distracts others from developing too much curiosity about her own story by being an incredibly good listener and shoulder to cry on

↘︎ 𝕤𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪 !

this was a rollar coaster and a half. i know. i’m sorry. akjlshd please love me i rlly tried to not let it get out of hand

tl;dr : small town girl from the mountains, raised by two loving, separate parents, who found her freedom and passion for life in europe before moving to vancouver to keep that spark alive. works 3 jobs to keep herself busy and because she just can’t make her mind on what she wants to do ( waitress, dog walker, pole dancing instructor ) she will fight anyone who crosses her or her friends, much to the surprise of most, and genuinely tries to find the best in everyone. 

first things that come to mind when thinking of noah : peaches, house plants ( wink wink ) , fluffy dogs and purring cats, creamy iced coffee, leather bound journals, and a lust for adventure.

as for connections, i want them aLL but i listed a few right here for y’all to check out. if any of those catch your eye / you’re down to brainstorm, hmu through tumblr ims / discord or like this and i’ll come to you!!!

[blessuswithblogs]

Top Ten Videocons of Twenty Seventeen, More or Less

2017 has, by all accounts, been a fantastic year for Video Games. Unfortunately for me, it has been a not so fantastic year in Having Money. So while in a perfect world my now annual game of the year list would have been a terribly contested and dramatic affair of cutting games I thought were good but just didn't make it, in actuality, I had to scramble and cheat a little to just find 10 games to slot in and talk about. I did at least manage to find them. Mostly.

10. Destiny 2

Destiny is a franchise with a troubled history, which feels weird to say about something that came out in late 2014. Nevertheless, Destiny 2's shooty looty gameplay loop finds its way on to my list. The story is tepid and the characters, with a few exceptions, are scarcely worthy of memory, but the visuals are good and the core mechanics of shooting and using abilities are a solid foundation to build upon in the inevitable flurry of DLC packages and expacs. It's all quite reminiscent of Borderlands, except without the unmistakable caustic ooze of Randy Pitchford's involvement. That in and of itself is praiseworthy.

9. Gravity Rush 2/Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze

Okay so I maybe didn't actually play this one myself. I usually try to exclude stuff that I watched and enjoyed but in this case I was sitting on the couch with other people playing it so that's basically the same thing as playing it myself right? I think I held the controller for a little bit. Anyway this game is super weird and charming and a little nauseating in parts because you sort of go flying off into the stratosphere randomly? But the aesthetic and Mood the game goes for is very unique and fun, it even has its own cute little made up language I mistook for French at first until I heard some Japanese and Spanish sounding words in there as well. The main characters Kat and Raven are dating I think? They're happy and alive girlfriends. Raven is a little broody I guess but they're definitely not the Sad, Dead Lesbians I have grown to detest. Raven is not Velvet. Just reminding myself. Tropical Freeze is just really good and while it maybe came out like years ago I only got to play it very recently on my friend's Wii U. The music is super good fuck you Jeff Gerstmann I will fucking fight you and your shitty opinions about video games you god damned grumpy old man.

8. The Surge

My Thoughts on the Surge are well documented on this very website. It's flawed and frustrating in a lot of ways, nonsensical in others, and the story never quite commits to its original conceit which is a real shame. All that said, I respect the game for what it was unabashedly trying to do: be Dark Souls but with cyborg powerloaders and robots. Like, you gotta live your bliss, right? Lords of the Fallen was utterly miserable and the improvements that The Surge demonstrates gives me cause for optimism in future games from the developer. Anything that gives me cause for optimism in 2017 has to be worth something. That said, the inevitable The Surge 2 is probably going to be kind of by the numbers and unnecessary but that's just how you make games in the 21st century.

7. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

To begin with, BotW would be much higher on this list if I had not only come into owning it and a Switch yesterday. It is by all counts extremely good, an open world game that's actually pleasant and charming and has meritorious mechanics outside of Todd Howard style "you can go fuck that mountain" nonsense. I mean don't get me wrong you can fuck plenty of mountains in this game. Link is fucking Spider-man in this game, the only surfaces he can't mysteriously latch on to are inside the puzzle shrines so you can't just cheese them. Weapon degradation is maybe a little excessive? I feel sort of like Bayonetta in the first cutscene where she keeps yelling "Guns!" when she runs out of ammo except I'm yelling "shitty wooden sticks!" when the one I'm using breaks into a million tiny pieces. I understand the reasoning behind it, I do. It establishes a certain rhythm to the game of exploring, fighting, stocking up on shitty wooden sticks, and repeating. When you find like, an actual sword or spear it feels like an occasion to celebrate, and the whole thing demands that you use a variety of different weapons and weapon-like objects. I'm not nearly far in enough to give an honest, comprehensive picture of the game. I just really like what I've played so far so I'm just compromising by putting BotW relatively low on the list.

6. Cuphead

It's Cuphead! Everybody knows Cuphead by now. It's gorgeous, the soundtrack is great if somewhat lacking in variety, King Dice is really cool but has extremely unfortunate racial undertones, the game is pretty hard (not that hard?) and Cala Maria is a babe. It's a singular game that is extremely worthwhile and hopefully paves the way for future games in a similar style of aping specific styles and eras of animation. I really want a game that goes hard on the 1950s Looney Tunes aesthetic where you just drop anvils on people forever. Cuphead isn't perfect, as a lot of the game's difficulty and length comes from bad checkpointing. It's a necessary evil, because if the game did not blatantly disrespect your time in a lot of the later fights, the game would be like, two hours long. I'm not a proponent of the "git gud" philosophy but I can't help but feel like I really want to say that to the various bad-at-games journos who got bent out of shape about Cuphead being hard. This is your damn job. You can suck it up for one game, especially when it's really very good and unique like Cuphead. Also my mom came in while I was playing it and thought I was watching a popeye cartoon so that was kind of cute I guess.

5. Civilization 6 (CHEATING AGAIN)

YEAH I KNOW THIS GAME CAME OUT LAST YEAR AND IM A HUGE IDIOT FUCKER but hear me out Civ6 is really fucking good because of the fact that Wonders take up physical space on the map and districting does the same thing. Like just this single mechanical change basically doubles the amount of thought and planning you need to put into playing the game even on low difficulties to optimize your output and production. Like it's a civilization game so there's not really anything too groundbreaking here but I fucking adore this game. Really looking forward to Rise and Fall, which will be early 2018. With the initial release being late 2016 I feel like this is like, an honorary 2017 game. Don't @ me.

4. Hollow Knight

Hollow Knight is another game I wrote about previously on the blog, but unlike The Surge I had basically nothing but good things to say about it. Hollow Knight has gorgeous hand drawn graphics and environments not entirely unlike Cuphead, but obviously goes for a much more reserved mood. Hollow Knight is a rock solid Metroidvania game with strong aesthetic and musical chops to back it up, as well as some Dark Souls-esque flourishes to give the game a bit of bite and a haunting narrative arc. A fantastic indie game and I can't wait to see what Team Cherry does next. I need to get around to doing the Halloween DLC, come to think of it. Did you know Zote actually has as many precepts as he says he does? I listened to them all. Some of them aren't too bad.

3. Nioh

Geralt the Witcher's moonlighting adventure as a samurai came out quite early in 2017, but remains one of the best games of the year due to its complex and rewarding combat system, beautiful Warring Kingdoms era Japanese architecture inspirations, fun mythological monster designs, and genuinely well done historical fiction backdrop. Coming into it, I fully expected "Dark Souls except the bosses are like Tengus and Nues and shit", but that description does the game a pretty big disservice. It's much more than that, both from a narrative standpoint, which is a fantastically tinged retelling of the Warring Kingdoms period, and from a gameplay one. The combat in Nioh is much more technical than in Dark Souls, with more pretensions of a combo based character action game than the deliberate, heavily customizable experience of the Souls games. Nioh is still quite hard and has the whole death-recovery mechanic, but it makes sense diegetically due to Guardian Spirit system and remains distinct. There are times when it tries to have the best of both worlds and just kind of ends up feeling like it doesn't do a good job at either, but for the most part, Nioh is tremendously fun, and at times infuriatingly difficult, especially in some of the post game optional battles that pit you against multiple bosses at once. Also, finding Kodamas is extremely rewarding because they are so damn cute. I love them. Find them at all costs.

2. Nier: Automata

Nier: Automata, Yoko Taro's latest brainchild, is, well, what it is. It's a hauntingly weird story about what it means to be human, and if that definition is really even adequate. It's a game with a lot to say, which is why I regard it so highly. The core gameplay is fun and serviceable, which is much more than I can say for its predecessor, the first Nier, which was memorable and affecting but played kind of like butts. 2B's android adventures are much more fluid and stylish, and you have a surprising amount of customization options available (though some arguably make the game a little too easy at points, like regenerating health) and there's enough variety in the little Machine Life form enemies (and the big ones, too) that fighting never felt like a chore to me. Of course, others have disagreed, but I think that the tedium really only sets in when you play as 9S, who has a much reduced arsenal of fighting moves in favor of his hacking skills. I liked the little shmup minigames that hacking entailed, so even 9S's story never felt too dull in the actual mechanical execution of it. People tend to have a misunderstanding of how the game works, that you need to complete it 4 times to get the whole experience, but that's not actually true. The 4 endings separate the game into acts more than anything. While 9S's story has a lot of overlap with 2B's story, endings C and D are just entirely new content where you play as A2, who has some tricks of her own distinct from 2B and 9S. It's not perfect, but it's not like you have to play the same game 4 times. It's a very story focused game, so much so that I would say experiencing the narrative is the main draw, but it has the decency to also be varied and fun to play. I love the parts where you get in the transforming flying robot and shoot the dudes. Especially the big dude. You know the one.

1. Final Fantasy XIV: Stormblood

The latest Final Fantasy XIV expansion, Stormblood, is super good. I wrote a bit about it earlier, and how it has improved upon Heavensward in almost all respects. Stormblood is a superlative MMO expac, with well designed and amazingly presented raids, dungeons, and trials. It's full of "holy shit that's dope" moments, like when you get into a blade struggle against the primal Susano's gigantic Ame-no-Murakumo in an active time event or storm the fortress city of Ala Mhigo. Ultimately, though, what really makes me evaluate Stormblood as my game of the year is how surprisingly thoughtful it is. FFXIV has, since the relaunch of 2.0, been a game that has not shied away from complexity in its narrative conflicts. The juxtaposition of the mythically strong Warrior of Light and the surprisingly mundane issues even she cannot seem to fix has always been the game's most interesting element to me, and as you spearhead revolutions against the Garlean Empire in two different countries, you learn a lot about how imperial colonialism has made things too complicated to be fixed simply driving out the oppressors. You do, eventually, of course, but the story is quick to remind you that this is only the beginning, and a lot of key issues remain unsolved, both in the newly liberated provinces and back at home. Also the Dark Knight questline from 60-70 is basically the best the game has to offer. It feels to me like that Dark Knight is the unofficial Job of Stormblood, despite the promo material and opening movie having you believe it to be about Monks. Monks, as usual, are boring. The themes explored in the Dark Knight questline, about regret, about shades of gray, about self-destruction, all align perfectly with some of the subtler narrative arcs of the main story. It's just really good and I love it. I still really want to write a piece about it on its own. I probably will soon. But for now, I name Stormblood my game of the year, for reminding us that we are still heroes. That we are still good people.

[subpopmountainbabe]

With alot of recent talk about female empowerment, I am going to address an elephant in the room for women like myself, who have sometimes found it difficult to get close to other women for no reason other than the fact that I have often fallen victim to the toxic jealousy of fellow females. I know there are plenty of wonderful, genuine, uplifting women out there, but when you have lost things from jobs to friends, tips, & social media accounts at the hands of jealous women, it can certainly leave you questioning who is genuinely happy for your achievements, or there for you overall on a pure level. Just like any emotional scars, enduring something negative repeatedly can certainly skew your perceptions of the world and the people in it. To this day, I am still healing from wounds inflicted upon me by other women...while it still continues to happen for no reason other than the fact that I exist. If there is one thing jealous women are terrified of, it is others knowing or finding out that they are jealous of you because that entails swallowing their pride or admitting they aren't perfect. This just makes it harder to find your voice when you fall victim to these types of people. These aren't only the strangers giving you the stink eye from across the room, either. Sometimes these women pose as close friends, while simultaneously pulling the wool over your eyes by trying to sabatoge you, or poisoning the well behind your back. They often know what to tell people also, in order to make their lies sound more believable by manipulating people's observations, while leaving out important unseen ones.

It is frustrating when you sense, or (at times) downright know someone is jealous of you, but you don't know how to tell other people about it without coming off as cocky or full of yourself. Everyone preaches self esteem, until you actually refer to yourself as being pretty, or intelligent, which as I said can further complicate things. Yet, the damage is real, when experienced in excess, so I will be the voice for the other women who know what it feels like to constantly be outcasted for being pretty, intelligent, successful, or for any other reasons jealousy commonly occurs. It matters because of the emotional damage it can create (especially long term) as it repeatedly occurs in different settings throughout ones life. Being an intelligent, witty, or attractive female does not mean you deserve what others have put you through, whether subtely insulting you with backhanded "compliments" in social settings, or trying to get others against you with pathological lies. In order to truly empower other women, we must also hold those who have created hostile environments for other women, accountable. I'm not talking about women who just don't like someone for logical, or justifiable reasons (hint: a dislike for someone doesn't always equate to jealousy) but with the absence of truth or logic, it often does. To be clear, I am specifically talking about jealous people who ACT on their feelings in cruel ways that can inflict emotional harm or distress onto someone else. Everyone feels jealous sometimes. It's a normal human emotion when kept in check. If you are creating situations for someone else like the ones I'm about to mention below, (which are all real life examples I have endured over the years), then you need to do some introspection and figure out the root cause of your hatred. If you know people who are like this, then you need to stand up to them and hold them accountable even if they're your friends or family. This is also for people who tend to be gullible and don't know the signs. The only way to truly empower one another as females, is to first address the senseless hostility that some exude towards others for simply existing. These are all real life things that have happened to me, that were no doubt acts of jealousy: I will no longer remain silent while people take their issues out on me or other women alike. Having issues is not an excuse to screw over other people. We all have issues, and we have all felt pain. In fact, even pretty or intelligent women sometimes feel insecure, believe it or not. At the end of the day we are all people, and are deserving of kindness when we have shown kindness ourselves.

Anyhow, these are the things I am talking about that I am still healing & trying to learn from. I am going to type in 3rd person because I know I'm not the only one these things have happened to.

1. When a group of females lies to the boss to sabatoge your job, even after you've repeatedly helped them do theirs when they asked you to. Groups of females like this are the most toxic types, because it's harder to disprove to others when trying to defend yourself from their malicious intent...even though you know exactly what they're doing.

2. The "friend" who acts nice to your face, or will pretend to be happy for any achievements you've made, but will lie on pathological levels to other friends or aquaintances when you're not around so that other people won't like you, or at least not too much, therefore preventing others from getting too close to you. This is a form of 'poisoning the well'.

3. Having to rebuild social media platforms from scratch several times due to false & wrongful reporting. Unfortunately, Facebook has a broken appeals system. I could easily disprove their lies, but it was to no avail.

4. *A hint for guys*. Ever notice how that woman (or women) you liked before you met someone else, never seemed to reciprocate your feelings? Or perhaps they just didn't seem to give much of a damn at all. That was, until you publicly posted about your new relationship. Suddenly they seem to "care" about you. They went from never caring about your posts, to suddenly commenting on everything. Or maybe they are suddenly making an effort to call you. Don't for one second think they suddenly realized your value as a person. What's really going on is that they see you've moved on from crushing on them, and that you are no longer inflating their ego because you found somebody better, who actually loves you. For some people, losing that attention is like losing oxygen. It is especially evident when the girl who loves you is also intelligent, funny, or attractive. This has happened to me at the beginnings of every new relationship I have ever been in. Thankfully my husband saw through the girl who tried doing this to him at the beginning of ours, but you'd be surprised by how many guys play dumb. *Hint for women*: If this has happened to you, and your guy defends miss egotistical, your guy knows what he is doing. He knows she isn't just "trying to be nice". She is blatantly disrespecting your monogamous relationship, and he is entertaining her to keep her around as plan B or C, and you should take that as a clear red flag to leave him because there should be no plan B's or C's if he is committed to you. Im not talking about his female friends, who cared about him before you two were together.

5. Having someone constantly challenging you, even after being articulate and logical. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about someone who challenges you out of sheer curiosity or because they genuinely disagree. I'm talking about the person that constantly disagrees just to disagree because it's something you said. This is just their way of being competitive and trying to one up you. A good indicator of this is when they don't do it when it's just the two of you, but constantly do it when others are present.

6. This one is probably the most relatable for alot of women, and also really needs to STOP. If your man checks me out, it's not my fault. If your man tries to make a move, and I reject it, it's not my fault. If your man calls me hott, it's not my fault. Now, I'm obviously not talking about women who entertain his poor behavior or engage in it...because screw homewreckers. I am talking about the ones who haven't done anything wrong whatsoever. As women, we need to stop hating women because some end up with shitty, disrespectful men. Yes, I know that men are sometimes a huge root cause of creating the animosity that women feel towards other women...but if the woman has done nothing wrong except exist, then you need to re-direct your feelings towards your men, and not the women, who more often than not, have no interest in your man.

7. When you work(ed) as a waitress and have/had women glaring at you even though you've made an obvious choice to give her more attention than the man in order to ease her mind and assure her you aren't interested in her spouses stares or flirtatious gestures...but it doesn't ease her mind and she hates you, and you begin to hear her talk crap about you, or trying to jip you on a fair tip instead of holding her man accountable for the insensitive behavior that clearly upsets her. I'm sorry your man made you feel this way, but it's not my fault. If you can't see that I put in a significant amount of effort to make your experience as comfortable and enjoyable as possible, then you are quite frankly, in the wrong. I have been the woman with a disrespectful husband in the past (not my current husband, but my ex-husband to be clear) and I do empathize with women who unknowingly end up with womanizers to an extent, but for me, the extent of that line is drawn when you take it out on someone who did nothing wrong to you. I know there are waitresses that lack empathy and who do cross the line of what most consider to be a respectful presence, but that was certainly was never me because I have been on both ends of this spectrum.

While I could go on with real life examples all day long, I tried to only post the ones that others will likely relate to for now. I hope that this post has made some people question their own behavior, judgement pertaining to gossip or rumors, and that it will inspire women to start being kinder to one another. If you got this far, this is likely something that has affected you personally. That, or you have been the jealous woman for whatever reason. I hope that either way, this inspires people to change for the better, or to create an environment in which the victims of this form of emotional abuse can heal from.

[apsbicepstraining]

This Eating Disorder Awareness Campaign Boycotts The ‘Before’ Photo

This is how you make a statement.

Recently, some Instagram consumers took on the before and after photos the phenomenon where people post likeness of their bodies from once they are dealing with an anorexia nervosa and then pictures of them after they recovered through a hashtag campaign called #BoycottTheBefore. The uprights boast a blacked out before epitome as a acces to make it clear that appearance analogies arent always reflective of a healthy form and mind.

The campaign is meant to address the provoking quality of the photos for those regaining from an eating disorder. It generated by Lexie Louise, A 21 -year-old body postivie blogger, in mid-February after investigating her own personal before-and-after convalescence photos. She realized that they were able prompting for others who may also be dealing with an anorexia nervosa or send the incorrect meaning about what the condition actually looks like.

#BoycottTheBefore I have an clause that will be published on the sister website of @neda soon that explores this in more detailed information. I’ll share it when it’s posted but is intended to share some now. (( I don’t is planned to reproach all those who had shared their recuperation photos. I’d like to offer different perspectives because it’s important to open the conversation rather than usurp everyone is on board. I hope those who disagree can speak kindly and non-judgmentally in return .)) For those in early convalescence especially, our eating disorders can persuasion us to compare digits or sizes, or even see us inquiry, “Am I sick enough to receive assist? Because such person or persons seems to need it more than me”. That are very significantly destructive when it comes to this. These photos likewise solely picture physical emergence. It is a huge fallacy still that those who have eating disorder must be physically underweight to be considered striving. It reinforces a misconception that “youre seeing” who is struggling. The true is: we aren’t telling the whole story through these photos, even with our captions. “Theres” beings in retrieval who don’t seem comfy sharing their photos at all. And there are also beings in retrieval who simply cannot relate to having any offending physical changes. Overall, though those of us who can share these photos are praised for sharing them and may be creating short term change, “were about” feeding into the errors of eating disorders and unhappily not building area to compose real, long term change. So gives fight back. I encourage “youve got to” responsibly share your recuperation narrative this NEDA awareness week if “youre feeling” cozy doing so. I also support “youve got to” taken into account in other beings those in recuperation and those whom we are trying to educate. And I foster you to use the photo depicted on the left as your before photo if you want to support this project. We are so much more than comparison photos. We are strong, resilient fighters and we will go against the grain and continue to fight to be seen and listen even if that represents not receiving instantaneous validation. Like convalescence, change takes time; it is a wander but it is possible .

A post shared by Lexie (@ soworthsaving) on Feb 16, 2017 at 6:05 pm PST

Posting these analogy photos is facilitating the idea that you can see everyone else who has eating disorder, she wrote in an Instagram caption following removing the personas. It is also allowing the competition among those struggling with designs like, well, Im not sick enough to get help because I dont look like that.

Since she started the campaign, the hashtag has taken off with more than 1,000 submissions. Model Iskra Lawrence, who has been open about her own retrieval from an eating disorder, shared her own boycott photo.

( This upright is seeing Eating disorder& recuperation NOT the fitness industry/ or weight loss). Please read before delivering judgement as this is NOT me telling you NOT to post before and afters or lessening the achievements and accomplishments of those who are proud of their excursions. I adore verifying people celebrating how far they’ve come and altogether get why( myself included) choose to berth before and afters . . But let’s open the discussion ….. # BoycottTheBefore was started by @soworthsaving and I’m so proud to be part of this movement . . I myself have seemed the pressure to post before and after pics to validate that I too stood … but that’s absolutely no truth to the rumors. We do not need to prove that we fought, we do not need to feel like anyone may have fought more or less because maybe there before and after photos aren’t as “dramatic”. It’s not even about that, it’s ever about how far you’ve succeeded so @boycottthebefore is here to celebrate YOU right now! To celebrate how far you’ve come and maybe how far you still have to go – there is no perfect convalescence& everyones is totally unique . . I do however want to say I’m not against posting before and afters, I have done so too and will be keeping them up. Nonetheless this is also a really great letter and I hope to see lots of of you labelling me in your pics( I’ve shared pics of the individuals who labelled me precisely swipe to discover )… I’m forever inspired by the convalescence& bopo local communities and I’m grateful for every single person who empowers one another and shares their beautiful unique provoke with us all . . To read @soworthsaving blog post about such movements going to see @neda or http :// proud2bme. org/ material/ eating-disorder-comparison-photos-boycott #NEDA #everyBODYisbeautiful( bikini is @aerie) No makeup no retouching #aeriereal

A post shared by i s k r a (@ iskra) on Feb 25, 2017 at 1:28 pm PST

Sharing a’ before'( frequently dangerously underweight and makes surprise and sneer in numerous) against the’ after'( frequently a healthier heavines and probably smiling) is something commonly occurring on ED awareness week. This is only demonstrating a physical change and one that feeds into the underweight form stereotype( and for those who have suffered that never have been underweight, where does that leave them ?) I’m not going to put a’ before’ picture of myself on that may trigger others or potentially realise others feel like their eating disorder is less valid. My own anorexia nervosa would cherish me to post one, for some means of validation/ reassurance and proof to others that’ hey ogle yes I was dangerously ill and here is your proof now you have to believe me by this to justify whatever notion you have about someone with anorexia’ NO. I have nothing toprove to anyone. Trying to spread the word of eating disorder being an internal combat and illness of the attention but posting photos reinforcing the opposite? It isn’t a competition( whatever your anorexia nervosa “re saying” ). Telling people how you exerted x amount and weighed xlbs and subsisted on simply x a epoch does not educate people on this mental illness. I don’t is intended to be buttressing this stigma that so people are trying so hard to break away from. Boycott the before. #boycottthebefore #nedaweek #eatingdisorderawareness #recovery #mentalhealth #educate #youarenotyourmentalillness

A post shared by Charlie Storey (@ wakeupinwoodland) on Mar 5, 2017 at 2:04 pm PST

A few weeks ago I quietly started a travel of genuine person credence. I haven’t opened up to anyone about it until now. I was tired of being haunted with a weight loss aim, telling food pass my life, and always having what I’m ingesting or when I will reach my occult weight loss point digit on my sentiment. It was becoming an preoccupation, and it had to stop. I went into it with my whole centre. Done weighing myself, but still snacking as health as I can, working out on a regular basis, and not beating myself up over every cookie that I have. It’s is an element of “the worlds largest” humbling events of my life and I’ve never appeared more confident and beautiful. As a nutrition student the most valuable lesson that I’ve learned is that we are more than exactly a number. As long as you live a health life overall, that’s all that matters. Being scrawny does not mean being healthy. Health comes in all shapes and sizes! So on the working day, you will never interpret another before and after visualize or weight loss post from me. My before is just as remarkable as my after. Too I will never facilitate anyone “lose weight” again. However if you are truly interested in improving your Health and getting HEALTHY, I’ve got your back! Contact me. Weight loss will probably be a bonus from that, but I will no longer spur contacting one count, that number does not define who you are. Stay healthy. Stay beautiful. Stay what you are. #boycottthebefore @boycottthebefore #loveyourself #loveyourbody #bodypositive

A post shared by Aisha-Z (@ aishazrva) on Mar 4, 2017 at 2:47 pm PST

An reckoned 30 million peoplehave an anorexia nervosa in the U.S. Devouring ailments have thehighest mortality rate of any mental illness radical, in agreement with the National Association of Anorexia nervosa and Associated Disorders.

This careening happening is farther proof that they need to be taken seriously. One way to do that is to increase public awareness, which can send the meaning that the condition is manageable with care. Thats why social media crusades like #BoycottTheBefore are so vital: They highlight recovery over everything else.

I am in retrieval. I am living again. I am thriving, Lousie wrote on Instagram. And I dont have to prove that I was sick by showing you my body.

Head over to Instagram to browse more #BoycottTheBefore photos and storeys.

H/ T Mashable

If youre struggling with an eating disorder, call the National Eating Disorder Association hotline at 1-800-931-2237.

The post This Eating Disorder Awareness Campaign Boycotts The ‘Before’ Photo appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2sK3lcN via IFTTT

[apsbicepstraining]

This Eating Disorder Awareness Campaign Boycotts The ‘Before’ Photo

This is how you make a statement.

Recently, some Instagram consumers took on the before and after photos the phenomenon where people post likeness of their bodies from once they are dealing with an anorexia nervosa and then pictures of them after they recovered through a hashtag campaign called #BoycottTheBefore. The uprights boast a blacked out before epitome as a acces to make it clear that appearance analogies arent always reflective of a healthy form and mind.

The campaign is meant to address the provoking quality of the photos for those regaining from an eating disorder. It generated by Lexie Louise, A 21 -year-old body postivie blogger, in mid-February after investigating her own personal before-and-after convalescence photos. She realized that they were able prompting for others who may also be dealing with an anorexia nervosa or send the incorrect meaning about what the condition actually looks like.

#BoycottTheBefore I have an clause that will be published on the sister website of @neda soon that explores this in more detailed information. I’ll share it when it’s posted but is intended to share some now. (( I don’t is planned to reproach all those who had shared their recuperation photos. I’d like to offer different perspectives because it’s important to open the conversation rather than usurp everyone is on board. I hope those who disagree can speak kindly and non-judgmentally in return .)) For those in early convalescence especially, our eating disorders can persuasion us to compare digits or sizes, or even see us inquiry, “Am I sick enough to receive assist? Because such person or persons seems to need it more than me”. That are very significantly destructive when it comes to this. These photos likewise solely picture physical emergence. It is a huge fallacy still that those who have eating disorder must be physically underweight to be considered striving. It reinforces a misconception that “youre seeing” who is struggling. The true is: we aren’t telling the whole story through these photos, even with our captions. “Theres” beings in retrieval who don’t seem comfy sharing their photos at all. And there are also beings in retrieval who simply cannot relate to having any offending physical changes. Overall, though those of us who can share these photos are praised for sharing them and may be creating short term change, “were about” feeding into the errors of eating disorders and unhappily not building area to compose real, long term change. So gives fight back. I encourage “youve got to” responsibly share your recuperation narrative this NEDA awareness week if “youre feeling” cozy doing so. I also support “youve got to” taken into account in other beings those in recuperation and those whom we are trying to educate. And I foster you to use the photo depicted on the left as your before photo if you want to support this project. We are so much more than comparison photos. We are strong, resilient fighters and we will go against the grain and continue to fight to be seen and listen even if that represents not receiving instantaneous validation. Like convalescence, change takes time; it is a wander but it is possible .

A post shared by Lexie (@ soworthsaving) on Feb 16, 2017 at 6:05 pm PST

Posting these analogy photos is facilitating the idea that you can see everyone else who has eating disorder, she wrote in an Instagram caption following removing the personas. It is also allowing the competition among those struggling with designs like, well, Im not sick enough to get help because I dont look like that.

Since she started the campaign, the hashtag has taken off with more than 1,000 submissions. Model Iskra Lawrence, who has been open about her own retrieval from an eating disorder, shared her own boycott photo.

( This upright is seeing Eating disorder& recuperation NOT the fitness industry/ or weight loss). Please read before delivering judgement as this is NOT me telling you NOT to post before and afters or lessening the achievements and accomplishments of those who are proud of their excursions. I adore verifying people celebrating how far they’ve come and altogether get why( myself included) choose to berth before and afters . . But let’s open the discussion ….. # BoycottTheBefore was started by @soworthsaving and I’m so proud to be part of this movement . . I myself have seemed the pressure to post before and after pics to validate that I too stood … but that’s absolutely no truth to the rumors. We do not need to prove that we fought, we do not need to feel like anyone may have fought more or less because maybe there before and after photos aren’t as “dramatic”. It’s not even about that, it’s ever about how far you’ve succeeded so @boycottthebefore is here to celebrate YOU right now! To celebrate how far you’ve come and maybe how far you still have to go – there is no perfect convalescence& everyones is totally unique . . I do however want to say I’m not against posting before and afters, I have done so too and will be keeping them up. Nonetheless this is also a really great letter and I hope to see lots of of you labelling me in your pics( I’ve shared pics of the individuals who labelled me precisely swipe to discover )… I’m forever inspired by the convalescence& bopo local communities and I’m grateful for every single person who empowers one another and shares their beautiful unique provoke with us all . . To read @soworthsaving blog post about such movements going to see @neda or http :// proud2bme. org/ material/ eating-disorder-comparison-photos-boycott #NEDA #everyBODYisbeautiful( bikini is @aerie) No makeup no retouching #aeriereal

A post shared by i s k r a (@ iskra) on Feb 25, 2017 at 1:28 pm PST

Sharing a’ before'( frequently dangerously underweight and makes surprise and sneer in numerous) against the’ after'( frequently a healthier heavines and probably smiling) is something commonly occurring on ED awareness week. This is only demonstrating a physical change and one that feeds into the underweight form stereotype( and for those who have suffered that never have been underweight, where does that leave them ?) I’m not going to put a’ before’ picture of myself on that may trigger others or potentially realise others feel like their eating disorder is less valid. My own anorexia nervosa would cherish me to post one, for some means of validation/ reassurance and proof to others that’ hey ogle yes I was dangerously ill and here is your proof now you have to believe me by this to justify whatever notion you have about someone with anorexia’ NO. I have nothing toprove to anyone. Trying to spread the word of eating disorder being an internal combat and illness of the attention but posting photos reinforcing the opposite? It isn’t a competition( whatever your anorexia nervosa “re saying” ). Telling people how you exerted x amount and weighed xlbs and subsisted on simply x a epoch does not educate people on this mental illness. I don’t is intended to be buttressing this stigma that so people are trying so hard to break away from. Boycott the before. #boycottthebefore #nedaweek #eatingdisorderawareness #recovery #mentalhealth #educate #youarenotyourmentalillness

A post shared by Charlie Storey (@ wakeupinwoodland) on Mar 5, 2017 at 2:04 pm PST

A few weeks ago I quietly started a travel of genuine person credence. I haven’t opened up to anyone about it until now. I was tired of being haunted with a weight loss aim, telling food pass my life, and always having what I’m ingesting or when I will reach my occult weight loss point digit on my sentiment. It was becoming an preoccupation, and it had to stop. I went into it with my whole centre. Done weighing myself, but still snacking as health as I can, working out on a regular basis, and not beating myself up over every cookie that I have. It’s is an element of “the worlds largest” humbling events of my life and I’ve never appeared more confident and beautiful. As a nutrition student the most valuable lesson that I’ve learned is that we are more than exactly a number. As long as you live a health life overall, that’s all that matters. Being scrawny does not mean being healthy. Health comes in all shapes and sizes! So on the working day, you will never interpret another before and after visualize or weight loss post from me. My before is just as remarkable as my after. Too I will never facilitate anyone “lose weight” again. However if you are truly interested in improving your Health and getting HEALTHY, I’ve got your back! Contact me. Weight loss will probably be a bonus from that, but I will no longer spur contacting one count, that number does not define who you are. Stay healthy. Stay beautiful. Stay what you are. #boycottthebefore @boycottthebefore #loveyourself #loveyourbody #bodypositive

A post shared by Aisha-Z (@ aishazrva) on Mar 4, 2017 at 2:47 pm PST

An reckoned 30 million peoplehave an anorexia nervosa in the U.S. Devouring ailments have thehighest mortality rate of any mental illness radical, in agreement with the National Association of Anorexia nervosa and Associated Disorders.

This careening happening is farther proof that they need to be taken seriously. One way to do that is to increase public awareness, which can send the meaning that the condition is manageable with care. Thats why social media crusades like #BoycottTheBefore are so vital: They highlight recovery over everything else.

I am in retrieval. I am living again. I am thriving, Lousie wrote on Instagram. And I dont have to prove that I was sick by showing you my body.

Head over to Instagram to browse more #BoycottTheBefore photos and storeys.

H/ T Mashable

If youre struggling with an eating disorder, call the National Eating Disorder Association hotline at 1-800-931-2237.

The post This Eating Disorder Awareness Campaign Boycotts The ‘Before’ Photo appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2sK3lcN via IFTTT

[apsbicepstraining]

This Eating Disorder Awareness Campaign Boycotts The ‘Before’ Photo

This is how you make a statement.

Recently, some Instagram consumers took on the before and after photos the phenomenon where people post likeness of their bodies from once they are dealing with an anorexia nervosa and then pictures of them after they recovered through a hashtag campaign called #BoycottTheBefore. The uprights boast a blacked out before epitome as a acces to make it clear that appearance analogies arent always reflective of a healthy form and mind.

The campaign is meant to address the provoking quality of the photos for those regaining from an eating disorder. It generated by Lexie Louise, A 21 -year-old body postivie blogger, in mid-February after investigating her own personal before-and-after convalescence photos. She realized that they were able prompting for others who may also be dealing with an anorexia nervosa or send the incorrect meaning about what the condition actually looks like.

#BoycottTheBefore I have an clause that will be published on the sister website of @neda soon that explores this in more detailed information. I’ll share it when it’s posted but is intended to share some now. (( I don’t is planned to reproach all those who had shared their recuperation photos. I’d like to offer different perspectives because it’s important to open the conversation rather than usurp everyone is on board. I hope those who disagree can speak kindly and non-judgmentally in return .)) For those in early convalescence especially, our eating disorders can persuasion us to compare digits or sizes, or even see us inquiry, “Am I sick enough to receive assist? Because such person or persons seems to need it more than me”. That are very significantly destructive when it comes to this. These photos likewise solely picture physical emergence. It is a huge fallacy still that those who have eating disorder must be physically underweight to be considered striving. It reinforces a misconception that “youre seeing” who is struggling. The true is: we aren’t telling the whole story through these photos, even with our captions. “Theres” beings in retrieval who don’t seem comfy sharing their photos at all. And there are also beings in retrieval who simply cannot relate to having any offending physical changes. Overall, though those of us who can share these photos are praised for sharing them and may be creating short term change, “were about” feeding into the errors of eating disorders and unhappily not building area to compose real, long term change. So gives fight back. I encourage “youve got to” responsibly share your recuperation narrative this NEDA awareness week if “youre feeling” cozy doing so. I also support “youve got to” taken into account in other beings those in recuperation and those whom we are trying to educate. And I foster you to use the photo depicted on the left as your before photo if you want to support this project. We are so much more than comparison photos. We are strong, resilient fighters and we will go against the grain and continue to fight to be seen and listen even if that represents not receiving instantaneous validation. Like convalescence, change takes time; it is a wander but it is possible .

A post shared by Lexie (@ soworthsaving) on Feb 16, 2017 at 6:05 pm PST

Posting these analogy photos is facilitating the idea that you can see everyone else who has eating disorder, she wrote in an Instagram caption following removing the personas. It is also allowing the competition among those struggling with designs like, well, Im not sick enough to get help because I dont look like that.

Since she started the campaign, the hashtag has taken off with more than 1,000 submissions. Model Iskra Lawrence, who has been open about her own retrieval from an eating disorder, shared her own boycott photo.

( This upright is seeing Eating disorder& recuperation NOT the fitness industry/ or weight loss). Please read before delivering judgement as this is NOT me telling you NOT to post before and afters or lessening the achievements and accomplishments of those who are proud of their excursions. I adore verifying people celebrating how far they’ve come and altogether get why( myself included) choose to berth before and afters . . But let’s open the discussion ….. # BoycottTheBefore was started by @soworthsaving and I’m so proud to be part of this movement . . I myself have seemed the pressure to post before and after pics to validate that I too stood … but that’s absolutely no truth to the rumors. We do not need to prove that we fought, we do not need to feel like anyone may have fought more or less because maybe there before and after photos aren’t as “dramatic”. It’s not even about that, it’s ever about how far you’ve succeeded so @boycottthebefore is here to celebrate YOU right now! To celebrate how far you’ve come and maybe how far you still have to go – there is no perfect convalescence& everyones is totally unique . . I do however want to say I’m not against posting before and afters, I have done so too and will be keeping them up. Nonetheless this is also a really great letter and I hope to see lots of of you labelling me in your pics( I’ve shared pics of the individuals who labelled me precisely swipe to discover )… I’m forever inspired by the convalescence& bopo local communities and I’m grateful for every single person who empowers one another and shares their beautiful unique provoke with us all . . To read @soworthsaving blog post about such movements going to see @neda or http :// proud2bme. org/ material/ eating-disorder-comparison-photos-boycott #NEDA #everyBODYisbeautiful( bikini is @aerie) No makeup no retouching #aeriereal

A post shared by i s k r a (@ iskra) on Feb 25, 2017 at 1:28 pm PST

Sharing a’ before'( frequently dangerously underweight and makes surprise and sneer in numerous) against the’ after'( frequently a healthier heavines and probably smiling) is something commonly occurring on ED awareness week. This is only demonstrating a physical change and one that feeds into the underweight form stereotype( and for those who have suffered that never have been underweight, where does that leave them ?) I’m not going to put a’ before’ picture of myself on that may trigger others or potentially realise others feel like their eating disorder is less valid. My own anorexia nervosa would cherish me to post one, for some means of validation/ reassurance and proof to others that’ hey ogle yes I was dangerously ill and here is your proof now you have to believe me by this to justify whatever notion you have about someone with anorexia’ NO. I have nothing toprove to anyone. Trying to spread the word of eating disorder being an internal combat and illness of the attention but posting photos reinforcing the opposite? It isn’t a competition( whatever your anorexia nervosa “re saying” ). Telling people how you exerted x amount and weighed xlbs and subsisted on simply x a epoch does not educate people on this mental illness. I don’t is intended to be buttressing this stigma that so people are trying so hard to break away from. Boycott the before. #boycottthebefore #nedaweek #eatingdisorderawareness #recovery #mentalhealth #educate #youarenotyourmentalillness

A post shared by Charlie Storey (@ wakeupinwoodland) on Mar 5, 2017 at 2:04 pm PST

A few weeks ago I quietly started a travel of genuine person credence. I haven’t opened up to anyone about it until now. I was tired of being haunted with a weight loss aim, telling food pass my life, and always having what I’m ingesting or when I will reach my occult weight loss point digit on my sentiment. It was becoming an preoccupation, and it had to stop. I went into it with my whole centre. Done weighing myself, but still snacking as health as I can, working out on a regular basis, and not beating myself up over every cookie that I have. It’s is an element of “the worlds largest” humbling events of my life and I’ve never appeared more confident and beautiful. As a nutrition student the most valuable lesson that I’ve learned is that we are more than exactly a number. As long as you live a health life overall, that’s all that matters. Being scrawny does not mean being healthy. Health comes in all shapes and sizes! So on the working day, you will never interpret another before and after visualize or weight loss post from me. My before is just as remarkable as my after. Too I will never facilitate anyone “lose weight” again. However if you are truly interested in improving your Health and getting HEALTHY, I’ve got your back! Contact me. Weight loss will probably be a bonus from that, but I will no longer spur contacting one count, that number does not define who you are. Stay healthy. Stay beautiful. Stay what you are. #boycottthebefore @boycottthebefore #loveyourself #loveyourbody #bodypositive

A post shared by Aisha-Z (@ aishazrva) on Mar 4, 2017 at 2:47 pm PST

An reckoned 30 million peoplehave an anorexia nervosa in the U.S. Devouring ailments have thehighest mortality rate of any mental illness radical, in agreement with the National Association of Anorexia nervosa and Associated Disorders.

This careening happening is farther proof that they need to be taken seriously. One way to do that is to increase public awareness, which can send the meaning that the condition is manageable with care. Thats why social media crusades like #BoycottTheBefore are so vital: They highlight recovery over everything else.

I am in retrieval. I am living again. I am thriving, Lousie wrote on Instagram. And I dont have to prove that I was sick by showing you my body.

Head over to Instagram to browse more #BoycottTheBefore photos and storeys.

H/ T Mashable

If youre struggling with an eating disorder, call the National Eating Disorder Association hotline at 1-800-931-2237.

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