#im genuinely scared of boys
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#shes so aroace#i love her sm#also can we talk about how the boys i at least know are actually fucking assholes and tye rudest people ever and insukt every girl at school#and then they're like “waaa why does no one wanna fuck meeeee”#sorry im just speaking about the people in my life obviously this doesnt apply yo everyone#and i dont even know if it applies to anyone besides the guys in my school#youre a literal kid go play whatever bland shooter game you found this week#girls dont owe you anything especially not when you act like were worthless and are only there for your desires#they make me so uncomfortable#im genuinely scared of boys#im sorry#trauma i guess#anyway.#howdy is so cute :3c
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OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#cw blood#cw gore#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#vex waylin#viv waylin#MY FAVORIT EP!! HAVNT SEEN IT IN FOREVER THO BC WELL. IM BUSY. SO BEAR W ME IM RUNNIN OFF ALOTTA MEMORY FUMES#ALSO EDIT BC FUUUCK I HADMORE TAGS BUT TUMBLR FUCKEN ATE EM. OH WELL. MY DMS R OPEN IF U WANNA UNLOCK RAMBLES.#I LOVE THE WAYLIN TWINS SSSOO FUCKING MUCH IM SO!!! CURIOUS ABOUT THEM!!! WHO WERE THEY WHEN THEY WERE HUMAN? HOW LONGVE THEY BEEN ARND?#I LOVE IT WHEN PPL SAY ITS LIKE THESE TWO WERE MADE FOR MMEE BC YES!! YES!! ITS EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT FROMA CHARACTER!!!#I LOVE THEIR RED WHITE N BLACK COLOR SCHEME. I LOVE HOW THEYRE BOTH SO INTELLIGENT AND GENIUS N YET THEYRE DUMB AS FUUUUCK#COOOMICAL SUPER VILLAINS. OOH ILL GET YOU NEXT TIME SHAMIA SHAMAI!!! HOW DARE YOU FOIL MY PLAN!! MY PLANS OF MUTILATING AWAKE N ALIVE PPL#COMICAL AND YET. GENUINELY HORRIFYING. VIV CAN MAKE UR BONES EXPLODE JUST BY THINKING ABOUT IT. VEX CAN BECOME SOUP#WHY DONT WE TALK ABOUT THAT MORE? THE TURNING INTO RED MEAT SLIME?? METAL AS FUUUCK. I ALSO LOVE HOW SCARED THEY GOT SO QUICKLY#THIS LIL FUCKEN RRRRRAT COMES IN. AND WELL. HES JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS. WE FUCK HIM UP N TOSS HIM INTO THE SUN N LET HIM BURN#SURE HE HAD ONE MORE TRICK OF REBELLION UP HIS SLEEVE BUT THE SUN HAS TAKEN HIM NOW. ITS FINE. WE'RE FINE. HEY IS THERE SMTH IN THE CEILING#OHHH WE KILLED HIM ONCE N HE CAME BACK. WE KILLED HIM AGAIN N TOOK HIM APART BUT THEN HES BACK?? HE GETS AWAY AND THEN. COMES BACK. AGAIN.#WE CANT GET RID OF HIM. THAT FOUL SHAMIA SHAMAI. A MOUSE IN OUR KITCHEN. FUUUUCK HES GONNA SPREAD DISEASE! KILL IT! KILL IT!! AAAUUGH FUCK!#I LOVE THAT THE WAYLIN TWINS AGREED TO HELP THE BLONDE TWINS MOSTLY ON THE BASIS OF 'IT WOULD BE FUNNY' BUT ALSO#OOHHH WE ARE SO CLOSE TO REACHING SOMETHING TO MAKE HIM NNEEVER FUCK WITH US AGAIN. HIS ILLUSIONS WILL HAUNT US NO LONGER#THEY WERE SSSOOO PARANOID W ALL THE CAMERAS AND BOMBING THEIR OWN LAB AND RUNNING AND RUNNING AND GETTING AWWAY FROM THIS FUCKEN! MOUSE!!!!#OHHHH I THINK IM RUNNIN OUTA ROOM so ill talk about da art real quick.BEEN WORKIN ON THIS FOR A WHIIILE.ALOTTA THESE were started when the#ep came out.so OLD!! BUT DONE!!and im very very happy w my colors n gore n EXPRESSIONS!! the top right corner comic keeps making me chuckle#I ALSO rly love the lil convo between arthur n viv.theyre SO CUTE TOGETHERR they should go ona museum date together or somethin#they need more time to just talk abt da World together.ALSO CAN I BE PETTY.I MADE ARTHUR UGLY CORRECT-STYLE#THESE BOYS KNOW NOTHING OF UGLY.I MADE THE VAMPIRIC FLESH EVOLVE N ROT N BLOSSOM AND THERE IS SQUIRMING WITHIN THE TENEBRAE#UHHH IEAH THIS GUY W A ROTTED N DISTORTED FACE WALKS INTO MY BIKE STORE IEAH IM SCREAAAMIN LIKE WADDA HELL!! MONSTOR!!!
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#this question is very hard for me to answer so obviously I have to torment everyone else with it#cause like. like I can really see the potential in either answer. both are feasible#I will say. most realistically. to me. edwin first charles harder#because I think…..I think the reasoning behind the other way around usually tends to be about how edwin absolutely was slower to bond and#open up in general whereas charles hit the ground fucking running#but i don’t think that particularly applies to their romantic relationship#if you mean ‘fell for’ in a general sense rather than a romantic one then yes 100%#but that’s not what im talking about here#I have a few different reasons but generally I think edwin fell first because like… the way he attached himself to charles and accepted him#as his person and etc is so unlike him to do with literally anyone- especially at the point where they first met/the first years they knew#each other. charles just seems to have hit him as something very very special and irreplaceable quite quickly for him to open up the way he#did and change and flourish into a fully realized person because of how safe and worthy charles made him feel#he took to charles with an unusual amount of ease and trust and I think that says something about how charles struck his heart Early#whereas with charles… yes on one hand he did stay on the mortal plane largely because of edwin and absolutely would’ve been impacted by the#tender act of mercy that was edwin reading to him as he died so he wouldn’t be scared. that’s absolutely what got him to trust edwin and to#want to be with him and protect him and so on#but charles would still do that and be like that under intense platonic circumstances I think#but most importantly I just think charles fell harder. when he fell is less important to me here- more important is that by GOD that boy is#down so fucking bad and outright SAYS IT in so many ways that he doesn’t realize– the sheer amount he restates how he’s content so long as#he’s with edwin. how he doesn’t want to be anywhere where edwin can’t follow. would and Did go to hell and back for him. believes him#to be the kindest and most incredible person he’s ever met. prioritizes him above anything and everything. etc etc etc#that’s not to say edwin doesn’t feel a similar amount of devotion– but charles just. really loves him with his whole person. loves him as a#fact of his existence and a piece of his very soul#idk man. it just feels like he is so incredibly smitten and he doesn’t even know it.#like I said though I can see both options and give reasons for both options so this question EATS at me I GENUINELY don’t have a super#strong feeling either is absolutely correct. it’s so difficult to answer they’re both so smitten and have such a history and GRAHHHH#payneland#dead boy detectives#rambling#polls
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AU! ANTINOUS, GET BEHIND ME. <— (Me as soon as Epic!Antinous drops)
#gotta protect my boy for that monster#Im genuinely scared abt Epic!Antinous guys#epic the musical#epic the thunder saga#epic the troy saga#epic the underworld saga#epic the circe saga#epic the ocean saga#greek mythology#jorge rivera herrans#epic musical#epic: the musical#epic antinous
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im going to be so annoying all week
#agghagahah HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HYYESAAHHHH#★ arin rambles#BRO BRO PLEASLE#PELASE#my apology for everyone. I have to make it now . Sorry. If youre following me destroy that notif button you dont wanna hear how worse i will#get#actually no just Unfollow entirely#ITS THE ADHD#PLEASE. HE IS SO . COOL. his trailer is so awesome IVE REWATECHED IT 3 TIME SNOW.#I LOVE HIMMMMMMM SO MUCHHHHH#I LOVE HIM SO BAD I JUST ADORE HIM PLEASE#HES SO PRETTY. JAW DROPPING. ICONIC. LIFE CHANGING. THE TEARS IN MY EYES. GENUINELY SOBBING RITHT NOW IT S SO OVER#aventurine likers hold me. Nobody understands. Everyone is scared of me im too crazy#actually its everything wrong with me . Hes ruining my life#i dont struggle as an aventurine liker i actually excel at this its my full rime job now#‘9 to 5’ no i work 9 to 9. Every hour is dedicated to him#im glad uguys agree with me thannk uou i was starting to think i was a freak#Well i am but im glad someone else agrees hes cool#Hes so pretty im so happy#I CAMT WAIT RILL WENDENSDAY PLEASE IM GONNA FREAKIFN BLOW UP#I LOVE AVENTURINE. I LOVE AVETURINE.#i get so happy when i see him i get a little violent its unsettling .#like im like shaking my hands and jumping around my room and then u blink and im bashing my head against the floor#its carpet. Im ok. But like not but i am#DUDE. I LOVE. THIS GUY. EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM#i needto. Just. Okay brb gonna watch ir like 20 more times ill see u guys next year im going into a Aventurine induced coma#this makes me realize people read my tags. Oh dear. Sorry everypony#i apologize for my behavior. I will get so much scarier.#HES SO COOL. HES ACTYALLU SO COOL. LIKE HOW CAN SOMEBODY BE SO COOL.#oh god OH LORERDRDRDDDDDDD WHEN I GET YOU BOY WHEN I FIND YOU. WATCH OUT. WATCH OUT I WILL GET YOU.
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THE SILLIESSSSS‼️❄️🏳️🌈❕
#the freezing cold silliesss#im loving punk hazard anime edition btw i was so happy when law showed up yippee jumping up and clicking my heels with glee#i love their squads in the earlier part of this arc too i love luffy + zoro + robin + usopp's long suffering ass#so good#and i love smoker and tash and i love everyone meeting law it rules#and i LOVE BABY 5 AND I LOVE MONET I LOVE SEEING THEM#can you tell i like punk hazard soooo much except it also scares me (im a horror fan and the gas stuff makes me genuinely uncomfortable)#enjoy my screencaps boy#my posts#punk hazard#one piece
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what the tags to my posts have taught me is that the wurthering heights stans are eating devouring enjoying while im locked in Moby Dick Jail with the ahab starbuck emotionally draining yuri that lives only in my mind-
#me staring at the direction that they decided to take starbuck's character#LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO MY BOY#also sometimes i get annoyed about the way that pip and ahab's interactions were adapted#like if anyone could have dragged ahab's ass back from the edge. ranked. 1. pip and 2. MAYBE starbuck had a small chance but like#not really#pip and starbuck are like....... two examples of how ahab's damage couldve been averted#pip and ahab are SUCH an important relationship that got kinda lost#bc it shows that ahab COULDVE walked back his ego for human connection. he and pip wind up kinda getting each other in a weird way#pip in moby dick is like. if apollo was the ocean pip would be cassandra. do you understand.#pip and ahab know how each other tick in the book.#they were like each other's One Chances bc ahab couldve left his ego and done the one damn thing which would've REALLY saved#the one goddamn person who he's come to genuinely care about#and pip gave ahab the chance to have someone sort of get how actually scared ahab is of the ocean and how that fear was the biggest#damn insult a dude like that could have. bc if you read the book and how ahab was treated directly after losing his leg.#it wasnt JUST moby dick it was the way his ship treated him. you understand why he's Like That.#the ocean AND the whaling crew fucked them both over.#uhhh meanwhile starbuck Thought that he could walk ahab's ego back from the edge!#but in reality the way that starbuck was ahab's One Chance at not killing everyone on that ship is if starbuck had shot his ass in the cabi#limbus company#IM GLAD THE WURTHERING HEIGHTS FANS ARE HAVING FUN THOUGH IM GL
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chigiris hard to write for bc hes SO INCONSISTENT.
i dont think he has a type. i could see him being into the calm and collected and also the sweet and bubbly.
he's very feminine and hair care and skincare but he also gives big dick energy.
hes composed and soft-spoken, but also stubborn and sassy.
the list goes on but you get it. hmm this is giving me a fic idea actually...
#ami's chit chats 🤍#LOLL#but fr tho#chigiri just isn't consistent in who he is#you cant peg him down as any character type#he is his own character type#like bachira is the energetic sunshine boy#rin is the emotionally constipated rude trauma boy#kunigami is the heartfelt honest genuine boy gone rogue#and chigiri is just#chigiri#hes a category of his own#like i cant write “he peppered your face in kisses” bc thats js not him#but i also cant “he felt too nervous to give you a kiss. he was so scared that it might make you uncomfortable”#so then im like “oh hes bold and direct” but hes also “chigiri's face had a rosy pink dusting to it at your words”#so then im like “oh hes cute lil shy sweet boy” but hes also “hell no. get the fuck away from me."#DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN#HES SO CONFUSING TO WRITE FOR#LIKE CHOOSE WHO YOU ARE AND STICK TO IT#but also i kind of enjoy how hes just his own cateogry#chigiri is just chigiri and thats all#chigiri hyoma
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I love entering a fandom and being apathetic about the fandom's Most Specialest Boy
#and i actually mean this genuinely. its interesting to me!#my feelings usually range from 'i like them as a character but im not attracted or particularly interested in him' to 'just why???? / gen'#bkg and to an extent dabi in mha#sanemi tengen and kyojuro in kny#umemiya n endo in wb#ig mikey in tr? and sanzu#kaiser and rin in bllk#i kinda fell into the trap w gojo in jjk but like i never was and never will be a sukuna or toji girl (gn) so dodged some bullets at least#and like i dont hate these characters and i even like some of them#but i have no romantic/sexual attraction to them and most of them i just dont find personally interesting#this isnf meant to be an im so different from other girls moment#i just find it interesting when lots of other people are interested in stuff im not. studying you guys lovingly#like im watching a lil mouse run through a maze for a snack#(tumblr girl run to their fav)#romy can talk#EDIT also i just wouldnt survive all my faves being the most popular#im already scared of the main gojo tags bc boy howdy have i seen some Opinions there
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long exasperated sigh
#a nyx original#rant in tags ignore this#im genuinely convinced sometimes that people do not see me as anything other than a girl#i am genderqueer i do not present myself as a girl online but when i start talking to people#theres this feeling deep inside me that they see me as a girl that theyll always see me as a girl and treat me differently because im#the “girl” of the group#this fear is irrational i do not tell everyone what i was assigned at birth#i dont even use my voice around anyone who isnt a friend#but im just. i dont know it really hurts because im scared of being seen as someone im not#im not a girl i am not a girl i do not want to be a girl#but no matter how many times i say that to myself im scared#do i see MYSELF as a girl? obviously i dont because well#im not! im not!#im transMASC ffs#but when i try to lean into that identity it feels like im just#“pretending” to be a boy#or “cosplaying” as one instead of actually being one#and being seen as a guy#(or anything other than a girl for that matter) makes me feel. happy#but im scared that everyone sees me as a girl and that ill never be able to get that joy#out of being seen as a guy yk#whatever this is pointless rambling ill be fine
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ohhhh right the grief comes in waves
#[through gritted teeth and tears] IF THE IS GRIEF THERE WAS LOVE IF THERE IS GRIEF THERE WAS LOVE IF--#i genuinely wish i could stop my heart from bleeding on the floor but im scared of what i might do to myself or others if i put a can on it#i was just starting to believe i was doing fine but nope. melancholy dimension for you white boy#vent
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well that was something
#angryborzois rambles#holy shit this is a long story#basically as a class we all went to this historic place on the top of a mountain (we had to do a long hike to get up there)#and a friend and i decided to stay afterward to mess around#my friend wanted to reenact kny scenes so i was like ok lets do it (shh we're idiots with zero brain cells)#and the place was pretty cool to hang out in soo why not#but soon it started thundering in the distance so we decided to start heading down the mountain#it was all shits and laughs until we made it down the mountain (tho we heard a weird noise once and got scared bc what if its a boar)#once down the mountain we had to navigate the woods around the area to get to the station#it was a very long route and on top of that it started pouring heavily#and anyway we walked for a long ass time in the rain when we encountered a suspicious person#it didnt help that before we saw this guy we saw a poster for a wanted criminal in the area#the guy was way ahead of us but we sensed bad vibes from him so we tried to let him walk ahead but he just...waited for us??#(he was in the direction we needed to go)#for a couple minutes we tried to trail way behind him but every time we stopped to let him walk on he would suddenly stop and stall#after a while we completely stopped for a few minutes to observe and in response he hid in the bushes?? so we decided something was def up#we were very alarmed and we quietly snuck out of his view and then ran for it#i genuinely worried that maybe we were gonna get killed in these woods#we backtracked a little and took a different path that went in the direction we needed to go#i was a little concerned because at one point the path had an intersection that merged with the first path we were in#but i didnt want to risk cutting through pure woods and i wanted to be at the very least on an animal trail than anything so no choice ig#and so we quietly snuck past the intersection but thankfully no one was around#a few minutes after that we heard a weird radio voice?? so we freaked out and ran the rest (prob unrelated but u can never be too sure)#and after a while of pure stress we made it out of the woods and to civilization#i was drenched but oh boy i was so happy#my friend and i agreed though that it was fucked up that we had to be more scared of a human than the wilderness#but everything after that was fine#im honestly glad it was pouring though because i think it helped cover the sounds of us getting away#well tbh i have a feeling he prob saw us get away but just didnt bother chasing bc the paths were muddy as hell and he was kinda far#but yeah that was def smthing
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oh man
#was talking to a guy on an App and it was going okay and he seemed cute ish but he asked me if i was going to the fireworks on saturday#and i said im scared of fireworks a little bit#tell me why this guy called me a DOG? and asked if he should be calling me a good boy?#genuinely immediate turn off i thought we were being cute but apparently not#i was thinking about the fireworks bit in lost then found and how Pat brings the spare headphones for Cap to drown out the noise#and here i am. being called a dog.#excellent. wonderful. makes me feel great.#this is not The Boy btw this is some other guy
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I am really mad at how deep are betrayal wounds specifically. Just been angry at A again. Granted it is the only one of the three (four?) that made it their fandom mission to harm me for whom I still haven't made up a funny nickname, because it just cuts TOO far. Like stalking and harrassment are a joke compared with that shit.
Though she IS a meme template at this rate. Not only straight up saying "it's ok I'll pray for you to heal from what I did to you uwu" and "yeah I know I threw you to the wolves after having fed you lies about not blaming you but YOU are the bad one here for vagueblogging about me :/", but also "the way you blew up at me after I defended your stalker proves that you are a health hazard to depressed people with low self-esteem and never changed from your past broken state from years ago". Like I can't even get started on how straight up vile it is. She also had three chances given to fix the damage, only on third try there was at least some semblance of closure, and she blew it up by deciding to snoop on me after her mutual was an immature petulant asshole to me for no reason (obviously she was looking for vagueblogs).
I also still never understand why the fuck she is always so fake? Apparently at my first post past her mad stunt she was mad at me, but in her DMs she tried to twist it like feeling bad about that? And it took a confrontation months later to get the truth out of her, why? Also she could not take the L of being proven wrong about my stalker's innocence to the point she tried to lie to my friend that she "always knew actually" and that defending that person was "just a test" (I wish I made this shit up!!!). Like will she actually explode if she has to face having flaws, mistakes and negative feelings? This is what happens when you do not understand your own religion and think that you'll go to Hell for simply being a human, I guess. As someone coming from near-theocratic country: do not get into a religion JUST because it is a "patriotic" thing to do in your case! You need to GET it first! (Though what I am talking about regarding a person that wholeheartedly approved of 'casting the stones' mentality despite making being a devout Christian her trademark 🤦♂️)
The good part is that it's been months since the last time I felt angry and upset about that situation. If the time periods between these increase, it means this wound can heal, it just takes a very long time
#personal#/vent#I really tried to sleep but I just could not#though it was funny when she reblogged an ask meme from my friend and didn't get any asks for it#wow! it's almost like you've gathered a following that don't care about your opinions enough to-#-touch a post from a 'heretic'#I don't know whether I should count choir boy or not#like he was absolutely insane obsessively reblogging every single piece of dirt on me#something I mistook for him being genuinely hurt and scared unlike other three#but then he admitted on it being fully conscious#but then he ALSO felt bad when he blocked my friend to take the anger at ME out on her#(lol wtf)#and like yeah as dumb as 'well I didn't realize you guys were humans with feelings too'#it is better late than never#I just don't know whether he was honest or just wanted to prevent vagueblogs#again after A im skeptical about anything people from that group say#no shade if he actually decided to be better but again I can't verify or trust stuff anymore
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i pass pretty much all the time but hm. ive heard interesting stuff from drunk ppl i know who dont know im trans
#''haha when my bf was talking about you and i asked to see a picture he showed me one and i was like... is that right? bc i thought that was#a girl in that pic. i mean only bc i didnt expect him to have any girlypop friends haha''#yeah i mean that is an average thing to say and not mean or anything but it hits a bit different when im trans#i mean the person saying that didnt know and if they did they would have never said anything like that#but it's still a bit. hmmm.#also the topic of my looks came up and it's funny how everyone thinks i'm cute#i wish i could b masc hot but im fine with being cute. not everyone can look good the same way#but like it's so common for the only compliment transmascs get being ''cute'' for various reasons but i think in my case it's just my#wavy hair and slight babyface and round features#which yeah ok whatever i'm still young - ive got plenty of time to start looking less like a boy and more like a man#as in even if i was a cis guy id look pretty much like this#though! im only 2 years on t so i cant wait what the future holds for how i'll look :3c#well almost 2 and a hlaf but yknow#also i have a slight. can i say this. ''tranny voice'' which. slay. but i was told i ''sound like a femboy'' which#once again super funny that ppl say that stuff bc they genuinely cant tell im trans#the only reason i pass is bc i get read as [justin mcelroy voice] kinda faggy#oh that guy over there with wide hips and feminine manners and voice and small feet and hands [compared to cis men] with an apparently cute#face who doesnt seem to know anything about stereotypical guy stuff? thats a cis man#and i love that#but also one of these ppl is not cis#if you saw me irl you'd know im insanely easy to clock for trans people#but yeah whatever im just amused by all this it's kind of fun having ppl not know im trans#but also i have a new friend who doesnt know and i think i should let him know at some point if it comes up bc idk man. it feels like im#living a secret life or something. like obviously no one has the right to know im trans but. i can make the choice of wanting someone toknow#but also hes my only guy friend who lives in this city. well technically not the only one i have another friend but we never hang out irl.#anyways i dont want to ruin our broship#i dont think itd get ruined and if it did itd just mean whatever but im still scared#agh idk#leevi talks
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i love seeing your hockey postsssss i grew up near the big reds and their coach would sometimes drop in on our little league practices to give us tips. peace and love and going really fast and hitting with sticks
hehe im glad youve been enjoying them <333 ive kinda been a little desperate to talk abt hockey to ppl who arent completely clueless abt it. like my mom doesnt rly get it & my coworkers are all soccer fans. the only guy i can talk to is my freaking manager and he’s more of a football guy!! granted im still new to it myself but ive been working evenings a lot so its just been nothing but hockeyhockeyhockey in my brain since the end of february. whew. anyway ty!!! i WILL keep hockeyposting <3
#asks#ngl im in the phase where im hinging my sanity and existence on my interest so ive been feeling… pretty intensely abt it#like.. oh. i couldve had this my whole life? and i just didnt know. that i could love this so much. like im in disbelief @ myself.#that i just Missed out on hockey my whole childhood. on seeing pk subban and carey price together. hough…#but anyway. not feeling sad abt the fact that i couldve genuinely started playing hockey cosom as a kid but backed out bcos of um.#elementary school misogyny. my PE teacher encouraged me but the other boys scared me off and i just never got back in. man.#gosh. i should stop talking now.
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