#im genuinely confused by what you mean
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
.
#anon with the blog#you might be new to me and that���s okay#but there is one rule I’ve held onto for ages#I do not posts asks with a blog’s url in them#it’s just not something I do#even if I strongly disagree with someone#just not my thing#but I have seen no real limit of just… very poor takes I’m afraid#anon about tarot#thanks for your question#I might some day#I’ve never broached that before#frankly it feels very none of my business if I’m honest#anon asking about bullying/hate#I’m not ignoring anything?#im genuinely confused by what you mean#I will say I don’t really think anything is as black and white as I think fandom likes to make it#there are very few straight lines in this world my friend
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
FF7 REBIRTH SPOILERS ft A THEORY OF MINE
"Emptiness"
I may be reading too deep into this but bear with me. Sephiroth doing his damned best to reinforce that Cloud is nothing, that everything he feels his fake, that he's a puppet pulled along by Sephiroth's strings with no real purpose of his own. "Your tears are empty" is a line that really stands out to me, because Sephiroth insinuates that Cloud isn't a person and has no true substance as an individual. He's a shell.
Then much later, in the dream-esque Sleeping Forest, Aerith wants to spend one of their final moments focusing on Cloud, focusing on "finding the real [him]". Then Cloud hands Holy to Aerith, and she gifts him the clear materia in return, presumably having taken up Holy before she leaves. Aerith theorised earlier in the game that Holy was probably powered by her memories and dreams, and having lost them to the Whispers, to fate, has rendered the materia useless.
Basically, Cloud aptly describes not-Holy with, "It looks empty".
An empty man holding onto an empty materia.
I don't know, man. The thing about being given an empty thing after being told and tortured with the idea that you yourself are an empty thing is getting to me.
Part 3 is most likely going to deal with the fallout of Cloud's broken psyche and piecing him back together to "find the real [him]". I'm theorising not-Holy is only restored once Cloud has finally figured out who he is and what he wants to do.
Because materia isn't just the crystallisation of mako and the Lifestream. It's the physical representation of hopes and dreams and desires. The Black Materia was created to deliver the Gi from their unending existence. The White Materia ensures the prayers of the planet are answered.
And now not-Holy belongs to Cloud, so that whatever he finds in himself will fuel not-Holy and provide it with new purpose, maybe even allow him to finally heal after over two decades of suffering, because as Aerith said, "it's about saving the world — and you"
That is all
#ff7 rebirth spoilers#HOLLERING UNTIL I GET GIVEN FF7R PART 3 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO WAIT FOR YEARS#GENUINELY SO DISTRAUGHT OVER THIS GAME. FUCK#“maybe aerith doesn't die!!! maybe cloud saves her!!!!” oh sweet summer child past agni we got something even MORE CONFUSING#this has been on my mind all night. couldn't stop thinking about this. and also the fact that cloud needs cognitive reconstruction surgery#YEAH SO MATERIA JUST BEING THE SOLIDIFICATION OF NOT JUST MAKO AND THE LIFESTREAM#BUT ALSO THE DESIRES OF THE SOUL#YOU ARE HOLDING THE PUREST ASPECTS OF YOURSELF IN YOUR OWN HANDS#YEAH. ANYONE ELSE THINK ABOUT THAT#im going to cry about this forever now. and think about clerith...... fairwell#cloud strife#aerith gainsborough#ff7 rebirth#ff7#ffvii#final fantasy 7 rebirth#agnirambles
62 notes
·
View notes
Text
it's so strange how i see like. 60 "proship is the default stance! proship is normal!" posts in a row (all of which i agree with btw, dont get it twisted), but then i see people making stuff like. proship-themed ocs and moodboards and stuff like that. like. not even themed around a specific ship that could be considered "problematic", literally just Being Proship™ in of itself.
like. i cant be the only one who thinks its a bit strange to make these whole-ass monuments to having a normal, healthy perception of fiction. its like making moodboards of doin your laundry or something
disclaimer: this post is NOT intended to discourage anyone from doing anything they enjoy, so long as it's harmless. this post is only intended to share an observation that i find interesting.
#scary crane rambles#not fandom#proship#proshippers please interact#anti anti#anti-anti#antis dni#realk talk though what the hell is a proship oc#is it like. an oc who does ''problematic'' things or is in a ''problematic'' relationship?#is it an oc who's canonically a proshipper?#is it like. an ironic thing where you make an oc that embodies the ''stereotypical'' proshipper?#is it a sona thing that's supposed to represent your personal identity as a proshipper??????#i dunno im confused. and its genuinely a really interesting concept to me#i've seen several people do the whole ''proship oc'' thing and i wanna know more about what the hell that even means lmao#btw again this post is entirely neutral#im just collecting information. gathering data if you will
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
'The Duke of Norfolk, speaking privately to the captain of the guard, told him to secretly arrest the Secretary after dinner, as they were going into the Council, and to take him to the Tower. The captain wondered very much at this, but the Duke said to him, 'You need not be surprised. The King orders it.'
As usual, they all went to the Parliament at Westminster, and when they came out and were going to the palace to dinner, the wind blew off the Secretary’s bonnet, and it fell on the ground. The custom of the country is, when a gentleman loses his bonnet, for all those who are with him to doff theirs, but on this occasion, when Cromwell’s bonnet blew off, all the other gentlemen kept theirs on their heads, which being noticed by him, he said, 'A high wind indeed must it have been to blow my bonnet off and keep all yours on.' They pretended not to hear what he said, and Cromwell took it for a bad omen.
They went to the palace and dined, and all the while they were dining the gentlemen did not converse with the Secretary, as they were wont to do, and as soon as they had finished all the gentlemen went to the Council-chamber. It was the Secretary’s habit always after dinner to go close up to a window to hear the petitioners; and when the gentlemen had gone to the Council-chamber, the Secretary remained at his window as usual for about an hour, and then joined the other gentlemen; and finding them all seated, he said, 'You were in a great hurry, gentlemen, to get seated.' The chair where he was in the habit of sitting was vacant, and the gentlemen made no answer to his remark; but just as he was going to sit down the Duke of Norfolk said, 'Cromwell, do not sit there; that is no place for thee. Traitors do not sit amongst gentlemen.'
Chronicle of King Henry VIII. of England being a contemporary record of some of the principle events of the reigns of Henry VIII and Edward VI
#this is the spanish chronicle so hardly a leading light in terms of accuracy but there you are#thomas cromwell#wolf hall#ive said it before i'll say it again#because im an eejit for the longest time i couldnt figure out what 'high wind' was supposed to mean. i was genuinely so confused#then i realised it was just literal. w the implication simply being he was taller than the others#and then i felt mad stupid
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
ive had such an…. interesting day today 😇 anyway how are you all <3
#ranting in the tags btwws!!!!!#so me and coworker became pretty good friends recently and im more comfortable talkingto her cuz#we’re both lesbians and i dont like talking to men (we work at a gym so its a big male population)#also shes 4 years older than me so to her im like a little kid and shes like an older sister#but my other coworker (my manager) talked to her thinking that i had a crush on her and that she was ENCOURAGING my crush#I DO NOT LIKE THIS GIRL BTW !!!! like we’re genuinely just friends and its so annoying cuz#ive worked here for a few months now and im finally kinda coming out my shell and being comfortable with my coworkers#and people are only like recently finding out im gay (u could probably tell tho i have gay face bad…😭)#so it just gives they only think i like her cuz im gay and like any girl that i interact with#and apparently i look at her a certain way that gives i have a crush… MIND U THIS PERSON HAS NO IDEA WHAT IT WOULD LOOK LIKE#IF I HAD FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE SO IM CONFUSED???#also generally speaking i really hate being accused of liking someone especially when i DONT like them because why would you even think that#especially being gay people just assume i like every girl i interact with FUCK OFFFFF#anyway. i didn’t mean to rant like that but yeah#kiwi talks …♡ᵎᵎ
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Whenever people talk about the maddie running away storyline like buck was in the right i get confused because wasn't the entire moral of that arch that CHIM was right? And just because i can feel someone rearing up to "OH SO U THINK CHIMNEY SHOULD HAVE PUNCHED BUCK IN THE FACE !?!?!?" no but we r going to get to that jus lemme say a lil sumn.
I always see people saying "Buck was right to hide maddies location from chim because maddies ex was abusive!" And like honestly i think thats cute if it applied but it need not apply here. Buck knew chimney wasn't dangerous, maddie explicitly told him that SHE needed a mental health break. Never not once do we see buck thinking chim is abusive and thats why he's not telling him where maddie is. He's literally just doing it because maddie told him not to. She lied to him and told him she needed a mental health break and that she would be fine but in reality she was about to khs and chim was the only one who knew something was off. And i personally think it's because chimney knows a different maddie than buck does. Buck knows strong maddie, he knows parental maddie, he knows a maddie that takes care of things and keeps shit together. The last time he saw his sister she was handing him the keys to get away from their parents. Buck doesn't know a maddie that isn't in control. But Chimney knows a different version of maddie. He's taken care of her he knows her intimately he knows things she's probably never even told buck so he KNEW maddie was in danger and he was right. I mean Bucks talk with Eddie literally solidified this. Eddie says buck knows his sister but he doesn't know her the same way chimney does and that he should let chim go after her.
Now for the punch iI think u guys are focusing on the Maddie of it all just a little bit too much and not the Jee of the entire situation. Lets say u have a baby, a tiny human that you love so much it feels like ur heart is beating outside of ur body. Now lets say that u just found out that baby was hurt and not only that but someone lied and his the fact that ur kid was hurt from u. Bro i would be pissed ngl. Like i still don't think he was in the right to punch him but like i understand his anger. Anyway im rambling what im trying to say is that im just confused when I see people saying chim was wrong cus like yeah he was IN the wrong for the punch but he was right about his hunch that maddie was in danger
#911 abc#911 fox#911#evan buckley#chimney han#idk if this is a hot take or not#tbh im just genuinely confused#but also i just dont get why some ppl are so angry about that punch#and not any of the other violence#like why can we contextualize and understand buck spraining eddied ankle#or eddie almost killing a guy#but not chimney punching buck#sometimes it feels like u guys give buckneddie a little bit more leeway than u do the others#and like im not saying u have to be all waah waah about character violence#cus tbh idgaf#the 118 could go outside and start killing ppl with hammers and ill defend them#im just genuinely curious#also if y think chimney is the worst and sucks#im not trying to change ur opinion like hwaiting! i am happy for you!#im just confused as to why his transgression is treated as worse than the others#its not like he purposefully sprained his bffs ankle#that was buck#or like he almost killed a man#that was eddie#u see what i mean
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I know several people who like LOVE seasons 5-7 (11th doctors run) and think the storylines and moffats writing are brilliant and I don't get it!!! what am I missing??? why does literally every single episode have the exact same stakes: Rory/Amy/the doctor is dead. forever. so dead. but wait!!! what if they aren't!!! why do so many of the explanations for why they're not actually dead feel so rushed like they were added at the last minute!! why does every single queer character act kind of weird and awkward about being queer!! why does the doctor casually say that women are inferior when no one's around!!! what the fuck!! hello!!!
#why is rory continuously proving himself as the Only Man To Ever Exist only for the characters/narrative to continuously imply hes lesser#amy tries to kiss the doctor?? at her wedding??????#when amy is stuck for 36 years why is she like i forgot how much rory loved me?? GIRL HE WAITED 1000 YEARS FOR YOU???? WHAT????#he is CONSTANTLY the butt of the joke despite being unequivocally without a doubt the best character from this era#what the fuck was up with river being their kid#THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY???? WHAT?? THAT SHIT WAS WEIRD RIGHT???#does anyone else find it annoying that moffat changed the opening theme and the tardis and the sonic and the doctor ALLLL at once#and then retconned the entire storyline the early seasons are based off of??#WHY IS THE DOCTOR SO GODDAMN ANNOYING?? LIKE SO MUCH MORE ANNOYING THAN THE OTHERS#and fucking sexist!!! so sexist!!!#anyone remember the characters who were like 'were the short fat and tall skinny gay men why do we need names' LIKE HUH???????#gay people still have names steven 😭#i feel like im going insane bc i have no one else to talk to abt it until my partner catches up#but you guys still think these seasons kinda suck right? like coming off of martha and DONNA and her AMAZING storyline#these just kinda pale in comparison right??????#the last centurion is probably the last really good plot of that era imo. none of the other plots come close to having an ending that cool#like rivers story couldve been amazing and then it was just uh. kinda weird. a bit confusing IDK#i dont want to be a dick when talking to people and like shit on smth they love but i genuinely have a hard time#finding kind things to say abt a lot of this era#also and this might just be me but i do not like amy and clara v much 😭 theyre so fuckin mean and not even funny#why were martha donna and rose sooooo well written and they all have rich backstories. we know their fuckin families!!#literally its never even fully explained what the fuck happened to amys parents 😩😩 they just move on. the only friend of theirs#ever shown is fucking river??? as a kid??#am i the only one who found all thay confusing
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
byeeee
#me literally thia afternoon discarding anime and posting about how i wish i had never gotten into it and how no one should watch anime but#really it was just about me slipping on seperating the fictional horrors from my actual horrors so watchong yuji claw at the ground#wasnt a “off gege ur horrible” it wS more of a#“i cant breathe im going to die i cant handle this life this is too much there is too much pain i wish i never put this visual in my mind”#and “genuinely i cant stop sobbing im so fucked up by this i remember reality now this is not good for me im going to fucking break”#but then i went back to “damn rhere are some good paralells i can make from this” and then saving the parallels in my to do list#so#shoutout mental illness#but really shoutout the terrifying ordeal of exostence and feelings i cant wait for my brain to get back to the usual compartmentalizing#and by compartmentalizing i mean detaching from reality bc i wont lie its great and it works and it does get better you just#have to get better at actively disociating. like fr practice stepping away from your feelings and accepting that nothing matter except what#u want to matter. and only let things that dont hurt matter.#once u get good at that its smooth sailing#❤️#mind over matter and manifest away ur mental illness#a.k.a. dont think just blank out the present until a treat shows up and then when that treat is done exit back into the blankness#fr im still alive bc of this srs theres nothing wrong with erasing the bad stuff#repression gets a bad hype bc ppl always confuse it with shit that will “come back to get u later lol thats only if ur not good enough at it#ive had minimal problems bc of this so far i rarely get triggered like that yuji thing came and went#forget everything until you want to absorb things that u want to absorb. repress if it keeps u alive. actually repress is a bad word for it#i feel “delete it” works better bc u shouldnt push it down#just delete it#teru mikami style#proof that light yagami did nothing wrong#gremlin hours#no. motivation quotes and life advice hours
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
completely taken out of the emotional pain ive been feeling by grizzly saying "penguins arent birds" confidently with his whole chest
#you know when youre like. having a breakdown and someone says something so extremely like.#out of pocket confusing that it snaps you out of everything.#thats genuinely how im feeling right now ive been nauseous ive been in real physical pain#“penguins arent birds” HARD STOP ON THE MUSIC.#“theyre like arctic kangaroos” WHO TAUGHT THIS MAN ABOUT ANIMALS?!?!?!?! WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN. PENUINS ARENT EVEN IN THE ARTCIC?!?!?!#WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING.#reaction time#anyway thanks grizzly i can forget about the rest of the episode i need to know what the fuck he meant by#penguins arent birds theyre like arctic kangaroos. what? i need to have a conversatikn with him#(<< guy whos literal career it is to educate people about animals) hello!?!?!!?!?!?!?!
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
so if you romance and ascend astarion you can kick him in the balls when he tries to turn you and it’s just very funny, he’s so pissy about it. so much for the most powerful vampire of all time or whatever, he stamps around like a toddler and then leaves forever
#i’m glad i saved before that choice so i can go through all the scenes i wouldn’t have got otherwise#(‘that choice’ meaning ascension)#im Fascinated by a whole bunch of stuff if you ascend him#like if you succeed on the detect thoughts (or maybe insight i forget) before he turns you to see what he think of you#it says something like ‘he will always see you as degrading yourself while you choose to be with him’ which is just BONKERS INSANE#like not confusing or anything. just wild to include. in a good way; like yeah of course that’s how he feels#and then the narrator follows it up with something like ‘but isn’t that what you want?’#like i’m glad they do actually try to impress upon you how fucked this dynamic is. they’re not trying to make you think it’s a good outcome#(i know there’s discourse about this and it’s very annoying)#(people who are like ‘actually it’s romantic and kinky’ uhh 😬)#(but then people who are like ‘how can anyone think this is ok’ and direct that towards anyone who enjoys playing it)#(like no it’s fun and genuinely interesting and i can see the appeal. just not when it comes to analysing the relationship)#(most people are aware that this is a bad dynamic they’re just playing a game chill out)#(like when i said 😬 about it being romantic/kinky i mean that from the perspective of analysing the story not personal enjoyment)#(anyway. moving on)#like i did that specific bit of dialogue probably a month or more ago and only once (because the test was really hard)#and it’s been creeping around in my head ever since. i love it lmao#i saw a video of that kiss where he makes you kneel a while ago and didn’t quite believe it was a real thing#but no it’s one of his actual default kisses. amazing#like i’m definitely gonna do a playthrough where i get everyone to make the power-hungry soul-destroying choices#and i might have to romance astarion again for that one because he definitely seems to have the most bad-decision relationship content#although he has the most relationship content full stop so it’s not surprising#but i think that’s the only one that notably changes your character during the playthrough rather than just the epilogue#personal#ash plays bg3
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello, I saw your comment with your last name in a post. I just wanted to tell you to be careful not to dox yourself, as someone with a different last name I talk from experience, the internet can be a terrible place. I really wish there wasn't anything about myself online or that my name were more difficult to find for this reason. Since it's just an advice you don't need to post this ask, have a good day and stay safe 💌
#translation: «am i being trolled? are you trolling?»#my asks#im genuinely confused#how me saying what my last name is a doxx?#i mean im all for internet safety n stuff#but.....what the fuck#respectfully
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
chnt fandom was so mean to you and for what🙁ur so cool..
i can think of a couple reasons
#the whole transfem elijah situation#saying i related to elijah in some way#everyone either hating elijah or wanting to fuck her#the people who want to fuck her get blocked#so they probably hate me for blocking them over that#the people who hate elijah are so annoying about it so im mean back to them#they hate that shit for some reason#probably dont like the million elijah drawings that much either#someone hates me because i didnt like being accused of an egg laying kink#joke or not dont accuse someone you dont know of an egg laying kink???#that one was weird#couple people on twitter hate me because my ex said something about me i genuinely dont know what i did there but#like my only context was one screenshot of a priv account who was also confused about what i did and man i took that shit to heart#like i was gone for a month that shit sucked worst depressive state i have ever been in um#theres probably a couple people who were mad about me using ai with the homophobic elijah volkov copypasta#there was someone on my strawpage a while back who got mad at me for that so at least one person is#they said “you talk alot of all ai is bad for someone who homophobic elijah volkov” or something like that#which is funny because i havent used ai at all since homophobic elijah volkov#theres probably more i cant be remembering all the shit i did man#most of it is so insanely harmless like ok u hate to see a cute girl winning#also people hate when u ship a “bad” character with a “good” character#example uh rowlijah#so yeah theres a couple reasons i can think of#hated by an entire fandom at only 14 years old what a time to be alive#to be fair most 14 year olds are annoying#this includes me#like man i look back at the shit i said from like march and man i was annoying as fuck!!!! i probably still am!!!!#but idgaf... a boy can be annoying and obnoxious and sometimes thats ok
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Current brother ranking has gotta be
Beel & Bel (tied for first. NO NOT JUST BECAUSE THEYRE TWINS I just love them that much
Satan
Levi
Mammon
Lucifer
Asmo
#might be in love w/ Belphie#granted ive only seen the anime#in which he's a bit confused but he's got the spirit#he's thw actual prettiest like goddamn#Beel ia overall the best genuinely he's so sweet like wtf#the only one not to do ahything outright mean the whole series (so far)#he's a little confused but he's got the spirit#AND I LOVE HOW MUCH THE TWINS SUPPORT EACH OTHER#genuinely so cute OMG#Satan is also general just a solid and well-rounded character but he has a lot more capacity for sass#damn bookworm/aff#cool ass dude#Levi is unbelievably silly#i can't deny that we are over and the same#i too am ridiculously pathetic over fictional characters#he's a better person than me tho#i would go FERAL if my little brother saved over my game AFTER RUINING THE WHOLE RUN#Mammon's really funny but i'd be SO done with him so fast actually#Lucifer is .. there.#I'd also be done with him so damn fast but he ISN'T funny#and Asmo is simply doing too much. go sit down bitch or i WILL get the mail polish remover🤨#don't test me.#tho im totally biased against him from the little bit of the game that i did play#he doesn't do much in the first season of the anime#except for his one ep in which he was just kinda entitled#chill out bro you did NOT need to bring the sun down for your?? idek what they were doing actually
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
chigiris hard to write for bc hes SO INCONSISTENT.
i dont think he has a type. i could see him being into the calm and collected and also the sweet and bubbly.
he's very feminine and hair care and skincare but he also gives big dick energy.
hes composed and soft-spoken, but also stubborn and sassy.
the list goes on but you get it. hmm this is giving me a fic idea actually...
#ami's chit chats 🤍#LOLL#but fr tho#chigiri just isn't consistent in who he is#you cant peg him down as any character type#he is his own character type#like bachira is the energetic sunshine boy#rin is the emotionally constipated rude trauma boy#kunigami is the heartfelt honest genuine boy gone rogue#and chigiri is just#chigiri#hes a category of his own#like i cant write “he peppered your face in kisses” bc thats js not him#but i also cant “he felt too nervous to give you a kiss. he was so scared that it might make you uncomfortable”#so then im like “oh hes bold and direct” but hes also “chigiri's face had a rosy pink dusting to it at your words”#so then im like “oh hes cute lil shy sweet boy” but hes also “hell no. get the fuck away from me."#DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN#HES SO CONFUSING TO WRITE FOR#LIKE CHOOSE WHO YOU ARE AND STICK TO IT#but also i kind of enjoy how hes just his own cateogry#chigiri is just chigiri and thats all#chigiri hyoma
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
our mother is so poisoned by propaganda that she literally called us sick for saying “this country is built on harming people and stealing land, do you really think that our government isn’t corrupt ?” like... and you say WE don’t know basic us history 💀💀
white cishet liberal is confronted with basic facts about the usa, yells and cries in response
#samuel🧿#its so infuriating too because ?? isn’t this common sense ???#isn’t the fact that america’s government is corrupt just ???? basic fucking knowledge ??????#WHY DOES SHE THINK THE GOVERNMENT LIKES HER ??????? IM SO CONFUSED 😭#like oh my gods you don’t know this because mainstream media is controlled by the ruling class of fucking course they aren’t gonna tell you#you have to do research#something you seem genuinely fucking incapable of#because you just ?? listen to the ruling class and the government when they tell you they’re the good guys ???#like what drugs do you have to be taking to GENUINELY BELIEVE that the government is good and not corrupt at all ever no siree#our mother calling us radical during our little debate was funny though#like oh my gods... your transsexual homosexual disabled punk anarchist son is... gasp !! RADICAL !!?? who woulda thunk it ! /sar#i don’t think her brain computes the fact that when i say im a leftist i mean it. like no i don’t just call myself that to be silly#i DO in fact want a revolution and hate capitalism and the government#i AM infact radical and hold far left beliefs like... homelessness is bad and... people shouldn’t have to slave away to survive or...#the government does corrupt things or... freedom (ACTUAL freedom not the propaganda freedom) is good...#anyways real punks are radical and extreme
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i saw her friend today and in a way i think it really ehlped cuz she was the one who was being so kind and like 'how are you doing i know this must be hard but i still want to be friends' and it really touched me cuz iw as stressed cuz i was paranoid they were talking shit about me or smth. she also told me she was also shocked when she found out that she broke up w me so i guess it feels good knowing im not the only person kept in the dark i guess but its like if its something she couldnt even tell her friends about then what made her do it. cuz when i asekd her friend 'did she ever seem concnerd about the relationship or anything' her friend was like 'no.... not.... not really?' which idk if i fully believe but i dont think she was totally lying cuz she did seem to at least consider it. so if she wawsnt lying then i still dont understand what compelled her to dump me
#and i mean this is a friend shes CLOSE with. like super close with#and yeah there is the possibility shes lying just to keep her privacy which i understand but still like the fact even she was shocked when#she found out she dumped me ?? like that has to mean something#however when i asked 'how is she doing' her friend was like 'shes alright' and idk why but that kinda hurt#and idk if she was just saying it cuz maybe she thought it would make me feel better or if she didnt want to give too many details#or if she really truly was doing 'all right' but like what the fuck do you mean shes doing alright#like am i seriously sobbing on 1am walks around campus because i miss her and shes just doing alright????#like what the fuck#i really hope its mor ethan that because thats actually goign to break me#hres teh thing though like i dont doubt that she felt some sort of emotion cuz she was crying when we broke up and our entire relationship#she was so genuine about all of it but its also that annoying part of me thats like did she ever care#because how was she the one to tell me she wanted a relatoinship with me and how was she the one to tell me 'i love you first'#only to dump me not even 5 months later??? i just dont fucking understand any of it#im so fuckign confused about it all#all i can even hope for is that somehow she realizes she messed up and comes back to me and ill take her back immediately man#but she dosnt seem the kind to do that#i just wish i understood why she didnt want to give us even a CHANCE to fix whatever issues she thought we were havign#CUZ SHE NEVER EVEN SAID ANYTHING ABOUT ANY ISSUES!!!! SO I DONT UNDERSTAND#LIKE SHE BROKE UP W ME OUT OF THE BLUE!!!! NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO ANYONE???#unless her friend is lying when i asked about whether she seemed concerned#but still
2 notes
·
View notes