#im doing good. i am living a really good life right now

[honeyrisuke]

all day long my brain has been making up stressful shit in an attempt to make me spiral and upset, and I've done nothing but try to keep busy so I don't listen to it and don't fall for it

I'm so fucking exhausted now bc I spent the whole day playing two youtube videos in tandem while working while being on my phone while texting people while eating while drinking things

I just tried to calm down because all of this was overstimulating as fuck and the second I sat down to meditate it all flowed over me and I had to stop bc otherwise I would've gotten a fully blown panic attack just from sitting down

can I PLEASE just STOP-

[rapidhighway]

stressed

I have to fight family again

[adhderall]

well as you can see besides being ugly as all fuck I'm also extremely bitter so that doesn't help at all in making me appealing. but it also comes with the territory you see, being treated as a hideous freak of nature for your whole life kind of does things to your psyche.

also going into shit in the tags as an extreeeemely jaded individual who's been on every side of the discourse and KNOWS it all VERY PERSONALLY so I know many people will find all sorts of different reasons to hate me (if they want ig) because I'm ~politically homeless~ at this point because I'm sick and tired of everything but whatever

(also fuck I ran out of space in the tags so another post maybe idk. )

[imovyn]

sometimesSoMETIMES i catch a a glimpse of a life i could lead that is so beautiful and vibrant and lovely it’s THERE just beyond my grasp AAAAAAAHHHHHHH

[moving-to-dreamwinged]

my dad came in and saw me on the couch (for the first time all day and i had literally just sat down for less than a minute when he came in) w heating pad and immediately goes "you have two options" (different chores to do) (as if i was like 10 years old and getting punished for something that i didnt even know i did wrong). what about secret third option where you treat me like an adult or i don't come home for winter next year. Lol

[endbeginning]

and if i said.... pet.er peve.nsie.....

[hella1975]

im being so serious besties i am not cut out for academia

[midwestblue]

I think (as much as I annoyingly complain and whine about not having a partner) being single this long has been good for me. I'm learning a lot about myself and I'm learning why I was a shit person, and through finding the root of the problem I can kind of... start to heal. I can be nicer to myself so I can grow and get better. Because TBH.. being mean and cruel to yourself doesn't make you become a better person. It just makes you believe that thats what you /are,/ and thats what you /always will be,/ as opposed to realizing that you are a product of your circumstances but that does not mean you can't get better and become a better person. Accepting help and trying to get better so you can eventually love yourself – even if no one else does – is the greatest and loveliest thing you can do for yourself. You deserve that love, you exist and you live and you feel and that is a truly beautiful gift.

[hellfireeddiemunson]

i have bad melted soup brain today and i hate it

[spade-club]

Reminding myself that I did all of my goals I had for this year. Even if some of them turned out to be mistakes, I've come a long way in the past half a year especially, and even if I am currently struggling with the weight of it all right now, these achievements are nothing to ignore or take value away from.

[sharkieboi]

so I’m trying to move cause this apartment sucks, and my dad suggested I see if my aunt (who is also my godmother) would let me move in with her, cause she’s got a big house and she’s been living alone since her husband (my uncle and godfather) died. and she lives a bit far from work but not terribly inconvenient, and she loves me and likes animals so neither me nor my bird would be unwelcome housemates.

and like trying to move I’ve shifted some priorities cause I’ve realized I don’t actually like living in the city proper and I would like to have trees and nature around and yknow not have my home be a mice-infested basement with no climate control with the entrance off a back alley that’s filled with dead rats and broken glass.

and it is taking everything in me to not just cave and ask her if she wants a housemate asap. she’s retired, she’ll love my bird, and I will be the best resident ever if she would have me.

but she’s also 30-40 mins out of the city with no public transit that goes to the city, and my car just absolutely shit the bed so I would have to get a car and/or figure out borrowing one from her or another family member

but also. cheap rent and guaranteed meals and in-house laundry and a big house with a big yard and a big garden and also I’m genuinely worried about my aunt living alone as she gets older so like???????? I’m very very very tempted.

[hmsmilkbone]

I am going to make bread tonight. It ferments, and then I cook it tomorrow. there shall be butter and temporary peace on earth in my corner of life.

[melochiris]

uuuuouhhghghhhhghggh i wanna work on m yWEBSITE

[theburiedgay]

The amazing d+d campaign of the last 2 semesters is over, I feel like all our characters got the endings they wanted, I'm really really going to miss the DM and I told the other players I'll DM a campaign next semester we'll see who actually joins, and, and, and, and, well, I'm going to keep in touch with the um player who was um playing the character who um my character ended up together with um.

[orcelito]

the hilarious thing will be if me being back in school actually Improves my productivity with writing. bc i have so goddamn much free time rn, but what am i doing with it? fucking anime and crochet. i really do need to get my ass in gear for cleaning and also writing this reverse bang fic. but really. im probably going to be able to do more writing once im back in school

How, you may ask?

procrastination is a powerful drug.

[administer-distractions]

.