#im bad bad at words
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the question of 'whats your love language' confuses me sooo much and idk why. sometimes whenever I take those dumb uquizzes if I get that question I'll always click off cuz like.. dude I don't know. I genuinely have no clue what I've ever done for anyone to express love that's not something I'd notice
#mole talks#if i like somebody i just.. be nice tothem and think about them a lot? i guess?#and try to make them smile and feel happy?#what. i dont get it#i jsut searched it up and apparently the 'five love languages' are#words of affirmation. quality time. gifts. acts of service. physical touch#i dont think i am any of tjose things in particular#im bad bad at words#dont often spend time with anybody in prticular#i love giving gifts but its not really something i do everyday#i guess acts of service is just trying to help? i mean i would help anybody tahts not. something i do to express love#and also i dont care much for physically touching people#so . whatever?#maybe this doesn't even matter at all.like not even slightly#i wish people would stop putting this in uquizzes though! or at least include an 'i dont fuckign know' option#stop excluding me. im important too.
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago
#I DIDNT KNOW I DIDNT KNOWWWWW#when i say damn thats crazy its bc i DO think its crazy i think a lot of things are crazy. like how birds have cloacas#or the way ppl draw a five pointed star in different ways and everyone assumes their way of doing it is how everyone does it#my brother is not letting me live this down btw he literally shouted at me like HOW DID YOU LIVE THIS LONG AND NOT PICK UP ON THAT#IDK!!! IDK I THOUGHT SOMETIMES IT COULD BE USED TO EXPRESS GENUINE SHOCK??????#he says its my delivery that makes it sound insincere bc i say it in a monotonous voice which when i think abt it YEAH....#THAT DOES MAKE IT LOOK KINDA BAD IN HINDSIGHT.....#and then i told him i keep a list of phrases that tickle my brain so i can remember to use them in conversation and apparently#most ppl dont do that bc he was like ???? stop doing that??? just let the conversation flow naturally it sounds fake>????#idk man i feel like if i did that and blurted out 'i forgot people find stuff like underwear arousing for some reason' instead of#smth like 'i wonder what kind of ppl find this kind of stuff the bees knees' like i normally do. it would. not go so well.#ALSO THE FLOW CHARTS ARENT NORMAL? i make flow charts before i call the bank or smth so i know what to say#its not just to blend in its also so i dont waste ppls time going uhhhhh as i think of how i put smth into words#its called stalling for time and i dont care if i have to say smth like thats just how the cookie crumbles if it gives me#5 more seconds to process whatever the fuck someone said without letting them think im not paying attention#doodles#diary#sona#puppysona#comics
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I don’t know man :/ i think I’m just tired of being me
#words#poetry compilation#quotes#web weaving#poetry#webweaving#poem#web weave#on pain#on loneliness#on depression#perks of being a wallflower#olivia rodrigo#mitski#im sorry#virginia woolf#richard siken#it’s getting bad again#but it’s me who’s been making the bed#im tired
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Tonight I learned that my 20 yr old partner has never played chess and doesn't know how to play chess. This is mind boggling to me. They claim its not weird for people to not know anything about chess so I. I need to see. Please.
Okay so, I made a mistake in not elaborating the meaning of the options. You do not have to be good or know what you are doing in the slightest to pick that you have played before. The middle three options are for your understanding of the game having never played it at all. The reason there's a percentage on the last option is because my partner made a tumblr so they could pick it because they think they are hilarious.
#crab says words#chess#tumblr polls#i learned how to play in elementary school and so did all my siblings#i use to play chess with random people constantly in highschool#im really bad at chess but its still fun to play ya know#i just am so shocked they literally knew nothing other than “the horses can move in an L shape”#i taught them how to play and made then play with me so dont worry i fixed the situation 😌#pls reblog this 🥺#i take it back!! my notifications will never recover!!! pls stop reblogging this!!!!!!
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doodles (as i avoid work) of the super awesome you wouldn't like me alive fic by @ectoplasmranch which i binge read in a 7 hour sitting yesterday
#🧻 sharts#danny phantom#danny fenton#dash baxter#i aint tagging everyone else. jazz was the most fun to doodle though#figuring out their faces was . hm. it was a moment. i hope i made jazz and danny look related enough HAHA probably not. i wanted jazz and#him to have the same eyes its just jazz still looks like a normal girl and danny looks like he's lost all zest and life for the world#like shit man if someone looked at me like that in the highschool hallway id be scared too i dont blame you dash#UGH DASH IS LIKE A GOLDEN RETRIEVER TO DRAW FOR THIS FIC. i love it so much. i love me a shitty guy turned nice#elderich horror danny is cool. im tag rambling now. my bad#this fic has a bit of a death grip on me. i need to be normal and go to bed#ALSO I CANT FIGURE OUT HOW TO DRAW TUCKER IM SO SORRY. HIS HAT. IT PAINS ME#anyway uhhh if u like danny phantom read dis fic? pretty please? for me? its at 127k words atm so. if youve got a day to spare#(dont be like i me i fucked up my eyes binge reading it LMFAO. be smarter)#guess ill die (danphantom)
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[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]
Hitting a lil' too close to home?
#junie art post#ink sans#error sans#utmv#errorink#implied. but yea not the focus#this has been turning around in my mind for quite some time. im glad to finish it lmao idk if my ramblings make sense even.#so like listen. do you ever think about how similar the function of the utmv is to the dark worlds in deltarune.#in a meta narrative to fandom sense? idk the word#we are making exaggerated expanded worlds of the ordinary tools and entertainment of the real world and make it into something more#isnt that very very interesting?#and we explore every sort of possibility in that creation. both good and bad#and when all is said and done. every possibility found and the entertainment and secrets has all run out#we put it away. abandon and leave it behind#what is left? what happens to the world and characters we have created? can it sustain without us?#what of the ones left in the dark?#idk if yall saw me a few months ago but i reblogged comyet's old post of ink begging us not to leave him alone and to keep creating#yea that never left me#and seeing exactly THAT SCENARIO in deltarune made my brain iTCH#imagine an ink in King's position.... wait isnt that just underverse#mmmmmmm. darkner ink.....#also error is here too. not just for errorink or that i can't separate these two to save my life#but error is also one of the few people to be able to GET IT?? he can hear the creators too. ink cant#but hes pretty much programmed himself to avoid having a mental break down to this via reboot memory loss.#and ink has his own internal coping mechanism (hooray for short term memory loss)#these two idiots will do anything but confront truths lmfao#ahhh my favorite idiots. never change#mmmmm#deltarune
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Ode to Spot, by Data Soong
#im not totally happy with the look of the words but it literally took me 3 hours to do. so if it looks bad? shhhh#it's my cats birthday once again so this is made in her honor <3 Ode to Spot is so special to me and it's just such a perfect poem#ode to spot#data soong#data tng#data#spot#spot star trek#star trek#star trek fanart#the next generation#tng#star trek tng#fanart#art#cat poem
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True pacifist ending.
#undertale#undertale fanart#grillby#frisk#frisk undertale#im such a fake ass grillby fan i legit didn't know this mf SPOKE CANONICALLY??? EVEN IF IT WAS LIKE 2 WORDS.#anyway um i cried rivers first of all bc he spoke second of all bc i started tweaking bad#familial or genuinely good friends frisk & grillby make my day tbh i love them sm#that “good job” means sm to me DON'T EVEN JOKE BRU
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No going and associating my presence with guilt pls thanks >:)
#that moment when you draw a dialogue/conversation heavy comic and think this could've been a fic... oh well#too bad im no writer#what are words#anyway megumi keft handed from fhe baseball ep btw#thinking about them#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanart#itadori yuuji#fushiguro megumi#itafushi#fushiita#meguyuji#etc etc lmao#might be a bit ooc from Megumi's side of things but i feel like he'd maybe soften juuuust a bi after canon too#idk whatever#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk spoilers#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#jjk manga#fanart#niinnyu comics#niinnyu arts
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like a month ago I decided to FINALLY give a name to my reverse au here are some juicy explorations
and i decided to go with Bad Prophecies 🧡🕺💃
i like how contrasting it is to "good omens" and that little nudge to Agnes and her prophecies and also uh, Bad Prophecies cuz plot
#it's all fun and games until there is no more good omens and only bad prophecies-#look at me im playing with words here#me and my humongous brain#said the clown#good omens#good omens fanart#aziracrow#aziraphale#crowley#ineffable husbands#aziraphale x crowley#reverse omens#good omens reverse au#golswia reverse au#golswia art#golswia#BadProphecies#oh god i have to now tag every old reverse post with this name sghjsk
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stopkosa.com
change.org petition
more helpful links
[august 2024 update]
KOSA or the Kids Online Safety Act is an Internet bill being pushed by the American government. It claims its purpose is to "protect" kids, but really its methods of enforcing this is mass censorship and control of the Internet. The passing of this bill would lead to LGBTQ+ related information, reproductive healthcare, and other topics that government officials may find "dangerous" to children be restricted or censored.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
In the website linked above, there is a petition you can sign as well as a pre-filled message you can send. You can also write to your representatives, and if you don't want to come up with an entire message, I've attached sample scripts. Also, go to badinternetbills.com for another petition that references similar bills. For more information about KOSA, you can see this article: eff.org/deeplinks/2024/02/don… .
Spread information about this, and do what you can. This bill being passed would mean an era of censorship for the Internet.
#KOSA#kosa bill#stop kosa#kids online safety act#kids online safety bill#psa#bad internet bills#stop kids online safety act#fuck kosa#man even when its important im bad at tagging stuff#important#art#my art#us politics#us government#censorship#internet safety#petition#call your reps#spread the word#call to action
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JUDGEMENT
Finally, her fourth and final card for Trespasser!!
1. The Hanged Man
2. The Chariot
3. The High Priestess
#IM FREE#my art#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#shivana lavellan#dai#lavellan#dragon age fanart#dragon age tarot#these have been a blast to make but I’m so glad to be done with them for now#da:i#thanks for all the love everyone has given this series#I’m bad with my words but just know I ❤️💞💕💗💖#thinking about making a post about the symbolism in all the cards. but I make no promises#sorry this one took so long I’ve spent the last month just staring at it#tumblr destroyed the quality#yet again :(#I wanted her armor to look like it was becoming part of her skin#lots of thoughts about knight enchanters/arcane warriors as living weapons#also dragon scales bc she drank from the well of sorrows#also if you missed it I edited her last card#she keeps her vallaslin now :)#art
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#mine#dreamcore#weirdcore#strangecore#oddcore#words#dereality#nostalgia#remake:3#im probably never gonna post the old one#it was popular but really so bad
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happy and proud!!
✷(print shop)✷
#mine#original#sm how managed 2 miss pride month....but its pride month every month in this house hold#ive read two bad YA books so far this month as a break from th 2nd farseer book but now.....i am back.........i am reading th 3rd one#its gna make my brain explode i can feel it#n then idk what i will read. maybe th hands of th emperor#could i read smth other than 800 page epic fantasy pls#the YA books werent too bad for YA but they hve that YA cringe 2 it. idk how u people read it constantly#if i hve 2 read th word 'heck' one more time#also theres always like. disney channel vibes. like i read gay YA romance n its so sanitised n vanilla. its so superficial#like i get this is for 16 year olds but were is the longing. the yearing. these guys are fanfic tropes stuck 2gether 2 glue.#also. what is with nearly every mlm romance / fantasy being YA not adult fiction. whats up w that#anyway hve a good evenin im gna do knitting!!!!!!!!!!!!
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