#im aware the comic has its own canon

[generalsdiary]

technically, there are many kinds of vampires in fiction.

are we talking about twilight vampires, in which case they're basically made of rock/ice, so always rock hard? (pun intended)

or are we talking about the vampire diaries vampires, in which case their hearts do beat, albeit slowly, and they keep their bodily heat by consuming warm drinks/food.

of course there are also vampires with cold bodies with paused decomposition who don't have beating hearts, in which case they wouldn't have such an ability.

moreover, there are vampires in for ex. the Dark Heroine by Abigail Gibbs, who are royal families that procreate, and they behave as supernatural humans (with the need to consume blood); warm bodied.

another mention would be vampires in shadowhunters who are simple reanimated corpses with no heartbeat. a conclusion can be made they might have the physical ability to "get hard".

food for thought.

Ever since I saw your vamp/were aventurine/ratio i have come to have a question of great importance that nobody has answered. /hj

Can vampires get hard?

... They are undead. Their hearts don't beat I believe. Can they? If so... how?

This question is haunting me. I don't know why I've not thought of it before. I don't know what about your silly pretty comics made the question arise in my mind when I've been awere (ha) of them for so long.

Feel free to ignore and delete in case you are uncomfortable or such.

he can blush so i don't see why he can't get hard

ask ratio for the details he's the doctor here

[scover-va]

Hey does anyone know any like. Good security breach rewrites w/ Vanessa being the protagonist while keeping her and Vanny as the ‘same person’ (<- wants to see of anyone else has picked up on the missed potential that is the psychological horror of it all) (if not i can and will start going into depth on my rewrite sooner. Because i am deranged)

[girlbowser]

going to go completely bugfuck insane for a little bit here. we need to talk about ultrose

Ultimate Rose, Pt. 1 (establishing facts)

so

ultrose is a fucking bundle of contradictions, huh?

i think its worth immediately establishing postcanon rose as a liar. specifically, there are a few crucial lies -- lies she tells herself as well -- that define the basis of ultrose. (im mostly going to be looking at candy timeline here, because meat ultrose is a whole other tin can of worms.)

the crucial scenes to compare are the last scene where she talks to john at the peak of the war, and the scene where she plays her hand in beyond canon.

i'm going to skip around this scene (candy 33), but stick with me.

this rose.

this rose right here. this rose who is happy. who loves her wife. who has *a* daughter.

this rose, as she herself describes.

is not "true."

rose firmly believes that knowledge means suffering. which, given the state of her body at the start of the prologue, probably feels deeply true! and her ailment disappearing coincides with her sight vanishing, and her knowledge of The Shape Of Postcanon slipping away. (candy 4)

"For some reason" "whatever it was she felt"

i think it's extremely important to establish here that rose wiped her own mind.

or maybe roxy wiped her mind. or the severing of meat/candy wiped her mind, but that last one feels very unlikely to me considering that this mind-wiped-state is at-will.

and we know that, because during the candy timeline, she is two things:

blind to the world

happy

and in beyond canon, this very same rose, days later, is:

too-aware, and in touch with her powers

deeply miserable

she stopped trying the moment the comic came back. she stopped trying because she never started. that was a whole ass different rose. one without the memories or powers.

if you'd allow me to be insane, i think i know which rose.

from ultdirk describing his experiences (with supplementary text from davepeta), we know what being ultimate is like. we understand that he has access to every splinter of himself, some more prominent than others.

so if rose is able to prioritize bringing one iteration of herself to the front of her mind... which rose would be the best?

which rose would be the happiest, the most pleased by living on earth c? the one blissed by love, the one who would be happy with a daughter and a wife.

it's not our main rose. she was not happy during her wedding. she didn't enjoy her life. she didn't think she'd ever be happy until after the meat/candy split happened.

you know who would have loved that?

what

what is this...... very very important thing doing here?

why is she "correcting" herself? why is she making this distinction? we haven't heard a word spoken about complacency of the learned, maybe at all, in the entire epilogues. and we know rose never really finished the story. it was just some amateur wizardfic.

but say there was another rose. a member of the gestalt, who actually DID finish writing complacency. who fought her whole life for the right to have a family, but ultimately failed.

say there was a rose who was an author.

yeah. i think the rose who gets to act out the bulk of the candy timeline (notably NOT yiffy. that was alllllllll ultrose) is alpha rose. roxy's mom. the one who fought the condesce and lost. and i think she's here simply because she's the best choice.

i mean, fuck, in hs2 rose straight up says it.

so . yeah. this is all establishing stuff for my Insane Theory. my real one about why shes doing all this. how shes doing all this. i have been sitting on this theory for months and if you thought "candy rose is alpha earth rose" is unhinged you aint seen nothing yet

gloves are canon

part 2 is here.

[seeminglydark]

1. would caro and john be into the tv show, the x-files? would they buy tapes of the episodes and talk about their own conspiracies and guess about the outcomes of the episodes.

2. also your comic has help peak my interest for the supernatural and conspiracy theories. what are some stories or theories that you’ve learned about that you have found the most interesting? and were you a believer before starting your comics or has your interest grown as you’ve continued with your comics.

3.lastly, i’m trying to buy more secondhand items and become the diy punk that i’ve aspired to be since high school (too afraid since i was a closeted trans man and living with an unaccepting family), any tips?

i, like john, try to stay away from modern tech as much as i can. i’m able to stay off my phone for the most part and rarely use my computer but i’ve been looking around and audiobooks on cassette are kinda expensive around me so i like to narrate book as i read them in paperback. i was wondering if canonically john uses resources such as the library and what his favorite books and movies are. i love horror and am just now getting into sci-fi and i love watching movies on my vcr + tv combo and i sometimes use a blu-ray player for more rare or expensive (at least in vhs format) movies.

sorry for the long winded paragraph, i’m unfortunately unable to escape my strict household (despite being an adult) until i find a job and am able to save every cent. i also tend to isolate myself so i have no friends to help me out. sorry to vent to you about this but i just wanted to end this by saying your comic and characters inspire me and give me hope that i’ll be okay once i’m free.

YES. John is obsessed with x-files. every once in a while you can see he has the iconic 'i want to believe' poster in his younger years on his walls. He still has it as an adult. both caro and john like watching those together, they also enjoy the twilight zone, charmed, Buffy (they they agree the corny movie from '92 is the best) and those old Bruce Campbell shows noones heard of, re: Brisco County Jr. I think as kids they theorize, and as adults they talk about everything everyone gets wrong, now that they know how these things really work. John can always guess WhoDunnit.

Ive always been interested in the idea of the supernatural. im a big skeptic though, ill be honest there, even though ive had many 'experiences' myself. i kinda like the idea of the unbelievable. definitely making the comics has peaked my interest in things i wasn't too keenly aware of before, like cryptids. im fascinated by the concept of Missing 411, and missing people who reappear somewhere else, but Liminal Spaces hold my heart specifically. ive always been keenly aware of the off feeling in those places before i even knew what that meant. i love scouring the internet for images of things like abandoned hotels that give me a weird kind of uneasy, most of the things people tag as Liminal aren't really that, so its a scavenger hunt to find something that fits my idea of it. coming up with the lore of my stories has been an adventure. my interest has definitely grown, more in places and phenomenon than in ghosts specifically.

there are so mnay things you can do to diy punk stuff, in my opinion thats the best and most rewarding way. it sounds to me that you need to start small and slow for your safety, so let me reassure you right here anon, that punk is a set of ideals, and not just fashion. youre still punk no matter what youre wearing. a jacket or vest is always a good place to start, you can literally buy ANYTHING at the thift store that strikes your fancy. this is a canvas you will be adding too for as long as its yours. once you have your canvas, its time to create, and there is literally no wrong way to do this. you can use paint markers, embroidery, bleach, ect. dont have money for spikes and studs? you can use soda can tabs and bend them, metal lighter caps, hell even staples and safety pins always look cool. you can make your own badges by bending metal soda or beer caps around a soda tab with a safety pin through it and then paint whatever you want on the cap. dental floss is what you usually see when punks have the white stitching on their pants and jackets, its durable and doesn't break, since crust and gutter punks need tough clothes that last. if you're worried about your family, i would personalize it first in small secret ways that are just for you, such as a message beneath your collar as seen here on my friends jacket. and here, and here! he hides patches on the inside as well! Im including a pic of john hiding a patch on caros varsity jacket as well. i will post my jackets one day, my camera is broken but i figured id share his since he hides things more than i do!

John absolutely uses the library, its a fantastic resource for SO many things, depending on where you're located. He would also probably use a digital reader later, because many of them you can get library cards on and borrow books that way. he is not a strong reader so he mostly reads books that may be under his age level, like goosebumps, but who cares, do what you enjoy. movie wise hes very obsessed with cosmic horror (hence the UFO tattoo) his favorites are Alien, The Thing, Killer Klowns from Outer Space and the Blob from the 80s. both he and Caro love the original Evil Dead franchise, horror comedy like American Werewolf in London, lost boys, etc.

Thank you, Anon, for the long winded paragraph. You asked some really fun questions for me to answer, i love nothing more than to talk about my characters, it was a really nice little break from editing a new podcast episode. I am so so sorry about your situation, and i am sending you all the best and all the love and strength that you can come out of this free and on the other side and live as yourself. If my comics and characters stories can provide a tiny bit of hope that its going to be ok, than ive succeeded at what i set out to do. wishing you all the best. and look into your library, they may have resources to help you with this as well.

[saguette]

Just fount your account today, fell in love with your art IMMEDIATELY. Jthm ask- Got any opinions/thoughts on the Doughboys and/or Nail bunny?

I think everyone has similar interpretations but Nailbunny, Doughboys, and Reverend meat are just personified portions of his own psyche but separated into physical characters as a way to disconnect himself from those emotions/cope with them by removing them from himself so they are not "his thoughts" or something. like, Nailbunny is the logical/more sympathetic/reasonable part of his own brain, the thing is those thoughts have to come from someone who "isnt him" for him to take them seriously, its like he thinks anything that stems from him is unreasonable so his brain makes up these characters to repeat his own subconscious thoughts to him otherwise he wont properly acknowledge them. the Doughboys tho are sort of the opposite where his brain makes them their own characters but its so it can be easier to separate them from himself. like, he interprets them as their own things so then he can say "im not thinking those things! THEY are!" even though deep down they are personifications of his own mental illness and will always be a sort of reflection of his conscious its just at this point he isnt 100% aware of that anymore. i imagine they came from Johnnys brain thinking up a solution for isolation + something to disperse the weight of his mental illness so it wouldnt impact him AS badly (SPOILER ALERT IT DID ANYWAYS) if the comic continued id imagine reverent meat would become a character thats constantly reminding Johnny of things he is trying to move away from and become an obstacle that encourages relapse. mentioning reverend reminds me i have more to say about all of these characters but it delves more into my interpretation of canon rather than just thoughts of the characters so ill leave it at this

[callofdutylorist]

heyyy! not sure if yous aware but on yt there are some ppl making stuff up that ghost and soap have girlfriends in some comics and what not, also that ghost was implying in campaign how he sleeps around????? is this true or people are just talking nonsense? im not too familiar with ghost so idk

I have heard... So let's clear things up

Does Ghost have a GF in the comics?

Nope! Ghost is portrayed with no love interests in the comics. However the comics does show Ghost's brother finding a wife, and having a child who would be Ghost's nephew.

It's important to the comic because Ghost helped his brother become clean from drugs, and sees his brother's family as his closer household.

All of them later die

Youtube Misinformation

There were some incidents of a people spreading some Ghost misinformation on youtube, especially in comment sections. Most of this has been about Ghost's relationship status.

For those saying Ghost as of 24/9/2023 has girlfriend, are incorrect. He is single, with no confirmed sexuality. I believe this info is mostly being spread as retaliation of homophobes in the community, being offended by fandom shipping.

Confirmation of Single

Aside from the fact that not once in the campaign does anyone mention that Ghost is taken, and that his backstory contributes to a big reason why a man like him wouldn't have any lovers as of right now....

Ghost is confirmed single by an article uploaded by Activision on valentine's day. Also as a loner type character with trust issues, a preference of no support, and a specialty in solo missions, it's expectant that he's not a lovers boy to someone yet.

Ela Memes?

One thing I did find was that there seems to be a current crossover ship meme shipping Ghost with the character Ela Bosak from Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Siege, and having both take the roles of resident evil characters. The main producer on Youtube for this stuff is Benjamin York Gaming if you're interested in funny crossover ship content.

Cod Mobile

Call of Duty Mobile does exhibit its own version of Ghost. Who is out of character for the multiple Ghost characters we know, showing to be much much closer to other characters he interacts with. But Cod Mobile is non-canon to the main series, and is it's own thing.

I hope this clears everything up

:D

[lunar-wandering]

what's boboiboy

ive had three people ask me this and im so sorry for the long ass ramble you’re about to get hit by (for the sake of being Understandable for a specific part of this im gonna be using the Eng Dub names; but will be putting the OG names in quotes)

Okay so Boboiboy is a Malaysian 3d animated cartoon that you can watch for free on youtube (either in the original Malay with eng subs or the eng dub). There’s 4 seasons and 2 movies- albeit, the 4th season is technically a soft reboot, despite the first 3 seasons + first movie still being canon to it, the MC’s powers get reset to the beginning, basically.

Said 4th season is called Galaxy, and currently, Galaxy season 2 is being published in the form of a comic (to make things easier for the animation team, as they’re also working on other projects). Each comic volume is equal to one episode, basically. There’s one more comic to come out (vol. 26) and then they’ll do a season 3 in comic form. Supposedly the animated version of season 2 is set to drop sometime this year, but I don’t know the specifics of it. I’ve only read up to vol 12 of the comics- webtoons has an official english version thats up to vol.8, and there’s a fandub of the comics up to vol.12 on youtube that has english subtitles. (There’s also an official comic dub that’s up to vol. 3).

Anyways; the plot, so, like.

Okay.

The initial plot at the start of our show are these Team Rocket-esque (in terms of vibes and how incompetent they are) aliens are trying to steal cocoa powder from earth because it’s a powerful energy source. Eventually this plotline gets left behind in favour of other ones, and in Galaxy it switches to protecting Power Spheres.

Our MC is named Boboiboy, and to simplify things as much as possible, this Power Sphere Robot named Ochobot gives him and his friends power watches that give them different powers. Gopal can turn inanimate objects into food, Ying has super speed and can slow down time, and Yaya can control gravity. There’s also Fang, who is an alien, and he’s kinda like... the Red Son or Macaque of the show at first?? Redeemed villain kinda. His main goal was wanting to be more popular than Boboiboy, I think. (Its been a WHILE).

And as for Boboiboy, he gets the ability to control up to 7 elements, as well as the ability to split into 7 (albeit, he does so only once or twice in the actual canon, his normal split is into three). The NOTABLE thing is that each element develops their own personality, they’re all still Boboiboy and share traits with him (main ones i can think of are being a Dumbass and Forgetfulness- albeit the forgetfulness is actually a side-effect that happens if he remains split for too long, he slowly becomes more amnesiac the longer he’s split). The elements also have a second tier, with different names, that are far more powerful (and apparently theres a THIRD tier too albeit only one of them has unlocked that as far as im aware). The elements (and their personalities + how they manifested/unlocked tier 2) are as follows;

Lightning (Petir) | Thunderstorm (Halilintar) - was one of the first three elements Boboiboy got, achieved tier 2 after being. Effectively tortured by his phobia and getting pissed about it. Serious and cool/aggressive. Is basically the Emo of the group?? definitely the one that would be called “Shadow the Hedgehog” jokingly. I can think of no other way to describe him. Arguably the fan fave.

Wind (Angin) | Cyclone (Taufan) (i’ve also seen him be called Hurricane) - was one of the first three elements, achieved tier 2 by... basically getting high on poisoned cookies. no i am not joking. Cheerful and carefree. He has a hoverboard in tier 2. Kinda gives off skaterboy vibes???

Earth (Tanah) | Earthquake (Gempa) - was one of the first three elements, achieved tier 2 via protecting the others. Composed, protective, and reliable. Is jokingly referred to as the Mom friend by people in the fandom and they’re honestly not wrong.

Fire (Api) | Blaze - manifested as a result of Boboiboy being overly stressed, achieved tier 2 in battle. Spontaneous, instinctual, and mischievous. Swings back and forth between being a kinda innocent kid and being the hot-head of the group, from what I remember his whole thing was just wanting to relieve some stress.

Water (Air) | Ice (Ais) - was forcibly manifested, manifests when Boboiboy is relaxed, achieved tier 2 in battle. Calm and relaxed. He’s honestly kinda a bit lazy?? But he gets more serious later on. Effectively the polar opposite of Fire (Api), which makes sense since they’re basically twins due to manifesting at around the same time.

Leaf (Daun) | Thorn (Duri) - manifested during battle in tier 2 first, but didn’t truly manifest on his own outside of that until Galaxy, where he manifested via Boboiboy falling into a tree and hitting his head. Naive and a jokester. Acts the most childlike out of all the elements, which is funny since he’s not the last one to manifest.

Light (Cahaya) | Solar - manifested during battle in tier 2 first, didn’t truly manifest on his own until the season finale of Galaxy, where he manifested in the middle of a battle (albeit it is said that this element is summoned via increasing one’s knowledge, which Boboiboy actively did before this battle). He achieved tier 2 again after getting knocked out into space and getting charged up by actual solar beams. Confident and focused. Very overconfident and kinda cocky- an “I can do this by myself!!” kinda guy who thinks he’s the smartest one in the room.

So, those are the elements. The way the elements interact with each other is RIDICULOUSLY funny, by the way, they basically treat each other like siblings, it’s great.

Anyways I... think that’s about as much of the plot that I can give without frying my own brain right now hnsdlfksjlfkjsdfs.

Oh wait!!! also there’s fusions!!!!!! Frostfire (Blaze and Ice), Glacier (Earthquake and Ice), Supra (Solar and Thunderstorm), Sori (Solar and Thorn), Sopan (Solar and Cyclone), and Gentar (Earthquake and Thunderstorm). Admittedly I don’t know enough about them to make statements on their personalities- for some of them it’s fusions of both of the element’s personalities, and for some of them it’s just the complete opposite of both element’s personalities.

There’s also a tier 3, which only Cyclone has managed to achieve (becoming Tempest), but that’s also a comic event, one that I haven’t reached yet, so I don’t really know what’s happening there either hsdklfjslkfjslk.

Anyways thats,, it. I think.

[roobylavender]

im fairly new to batcomics so forgive me for this dumb ask/being uninformed, but do you ever have like. doubt in your reading for bruce as a character, or feel bleak about it (?) im aware you dont really like the reading of him as an abuser, but from what ive seen he most often does emotional neglect/distance and parentification of a child, which /are still/ abuse, and this happens very consistently. from what i can tell there is more evidence of him being a bad parent than otherwise. people often say hes incapable of having a child without messing them up beyond repair, and from what ive seen that rings true😭 i also know you said u dont like alot of his modern portrays, but these types of abuse also occur in older comics as well from what i can tell. i myself often have doubt (perhaps this is because i havent read everything yet and im still informing myself on his character)-that maybe this /is/ just his character, bc of HOW consistent the pattern is. idk if im really asking a specific question. im more so wondering what your thoughts are, like on parentificafion of his kids and emotional neglect/distance, would this be different if DC portrayed him more empathetically/based on your reading, and/or is he just fundamentally unable to parent someone without abusing them like some ppl say. i understand i may have just opened a whole can of worms lol but im so curious

you are totally fine! canon is quite overwhelming in both volume and scope, and conversations about bruce being an abuser definitely dominate at present (not wrongfully btw), so i don't blame people for ascribing to them early on. i will say at least from what i have read (and i will admit here that my pre-bronze age reading is not nearly as consistent as my post-bronze age reading so i have kept less track of specific writers and runs there) that i think the aspects that largely define present interpretations of bruce as an abuser tend to take from canon post-crisis onward. so that's probably why in a sense it looks like bruce has "always" been an abuser, bc realistically speaking if you're a new dc reader it makes most sense to start with the aftermath of the crisis and go from there. most conversations about "canon" tend to be about post-crisis canon (ie what has taken place on new earth/prime earth) and usually when you're looking up batman reading lists they will start with year one rather than with anything in pre-crisis. the crisis was nearly forty years ago after all! it covers a lot of territory and unless you're a really dedicated comic reader with a lot of time on your hands i don't think most people have the time or energy to go further back (to no fault of their own obv)

all that being said. pre-crisis canon is obv not monolithic in nature and there are definitely blogs out there who have dedicated themselves to compiling individual issues or moments they would personally interpret as evocative of abusive behaviors on bruce's behalf. i don't think that's inherently wrong to do per se and to each their own reading but my primary divide with that practice is that it's often performed within a vacuum. to me the most important thing when it comes to being a comics reader (or any kind of reader really) is taking into account real life context and genre conventions. how do the politics or culture of the time shape the way a given narrative is written and with what tone it's written? all of that is crucial to incorporate into an analysis. i'm going to use a pretty famous example of why. world's finest comics #153 (1965) is the origin of a pretty famous panel you may be familiar with:

on its face this looks pretty bad (and it'll actually factor into when i discuss parentification later) but contextually this issue imagined an alternate reality wherein superman was responsible for the death of bruce's parents and subsequently became the face of bruce's relentless revenge and pursuit of criminal activity. obv that's not a bruce who actually exists in reality and this was merely written for the sake of exaggeration and entertainment but it can also give rise to some interesting questions about what the writer here was specifically trying to satirize and why. primarily it's obv trying to poke some fun at the idea of bruce's crusade to begin with (which i am sure most people would agree was quite cartoonish in the early decades of dc despite the more layered portrayal and analysis it was afforded in later decades). but what's also pertinent here is the sort of "natural" exaggeration of bruce's dynamic with dick. in even as far back as the original bob kane comics, bruce and dick had a dynamic where dick was comedically portrayed as the more morally responsible one of the two. it wasn't much reason for concern back then bc the stakes weren't nearly as high and dick's tendency to question some of bruce's decisions (eg his tendency to always let selina go or to allow some villains to die horrifically) was almost always played off with a laugh. but the foundation was still there and you can recognize it in these panels despite that foundation obv being taken to an extreme. all of which is to say: the portrayal of bruce as an abuser largely depends on what a writer is willing to exaggerate, and why, and how. this issue was obv a one-off with no relevance to actual canon but it was nonetheless a peek into what that dynamic between bruce and dick could look like given a writer willing to pursue a darker tone and to explore the potential extremes of what was on its face merely a gag

the novelty of cape comics is that they are a place to explore anything and everything. extremes are possible bc no writer/artist and no editorial staff are ever on a book forever. what creatives want to explore with what they're given can hugely vary esp if a particular editorial staff is liberal enough to allow that exploration. and i think it's fair to say that a lot of writers are interested by the idea of that what if the above issue explored. not out of malice per se but certainly out of a growing curiosity as to how far disbelief with respect to the internal reality of cape comics can actually be suspended. the big question for batman in the 80s was whether having a kid sidekick constituted child abuse. this was primarily explored via the starlin run that ended in a death in the family. and obv following that we got the triple whammie of year three, a lonely place of dying, and knightfall. these arcs to me were what really cemented the foray into parentification in batman comics. the fledgling idea of it had always existed in a sense. dick was the more morally upright character of the two known for chiding some of bruce's decisions. he was the leader of the original teen titans, who historically demanded more respect and support of their mentors (i do not think it all inconsequential that dick and roy were developed so closely). and increasingly as we moved from the bronze age into the modern age we saw a dick who simultaneously desired to be independent of bruce and to be recognized by him. so the components to take that fledgling idea to its natural extreme were all there. editorial merely had to create the right circumstances to mesh those components together, and those circumstances were the buildup to and execution of the death of jason todd

i really do not think it can be underestimated in any sense what an enormous impact that event has had on the entire bat mythos at large. beyond utterly shattering the readers' suspension of disbelief wrt sidekicks' place in cape comics what a death in the family did was create an unavoidable void. this was not an event that could merely be skimmed over and moved on from. the aftermath and the consequences had to be dissected to their fullest extent otherwise batman editorial risked falling into the exact same problem the crisis was written to avoid: circular and aimless continuity. everything had to have concrete, forward moving direction and the consequences had to matter long term for there to be meaningful character development. so when you created the circumstances for a child dying bc batman had him gallivanting around as a masked vigilante, he had to retreat into his shell and utterly fall apart from the guilt of it all while everyone else fought like hell to keep him standing. it was pretty riveting and compelling. knightfall is probably one of my favorite arcs ever despite how utterly boring it is bc the introspection into bruce and his breakdown following jason's death was superb. but the circumstances it created for everyone else in bruce's vicinity to act like his emotional crutch while he took the next decade to recover obv had significant long-lasting consequences. dick had to be relegated to acting as the go-to family man rather than ever again pursuing his own dreams as he had in the 80s and early 90s. when jason came back he had to deal with all of bruce's grief and guilt being projected onto him while his own concerns went unheard. tim had to spend his teenage years deluding himself into believing he was the only one who could hold gotham together while bruce was falling apart. cass had to expend an enormous effort trying to prove herself to bruce bc all of the built up circumstances from the last decade drove him to insane paranoia about having sidekicks at all. and damian had to deal with whatever bruce had become by the time all of that was over

all of this to say: do i think bruce was always meant to become an abuser? not really. but did editorial avail themselves of and relentlessly pursue narrative circumstances that allowed that path to be realistically taken? absolutely. it's ultimately a debate of whether or not you agree they should have taken that direction long term. and i know it may look like i would probably be a hard no on that but personally i find myself more in the middle between these two imaginary camps. bc i'm not unsatisfied with what knightfall explored. i found it hugely interesting to explore the natural conclusion of bruce taking all burdens upon his shoulders and making himself highly vulnerable to collapse bc he refused to open up to anyone out of a fear of burdening them in turn. but knightfall was also followed by contagion and legacy and no man's land and murderer and fugitive. it was bruce taking one hit after another until he was utterly ripped to the core and had to start over from scratch and ig that's what i fundamentally disagree with. i don't think they needed to have gone any further than where knightfall took him and to me the end of knightfall should have signaled that bruce was ready to turn a new leaf where he could healthily balance his emotional commitments without letting them be guided by fear. publishing comics takes a long time so i think people often forget that despite there being a decade worth of comics between the events i immediately listed above what actually transpired in real time in the pages was two years or less. if we want to go all of the way back to a death in the family and account for that as well it becomes four years. four years isn't at all a long time nor is it unsalvageable. but by the time knightfall was over i truly think editorial was so obsessed with its own ideas on exploring bruce's collapse that it failed to see little else in the way of that. everything became about how people responded to him rather than about how bruce responded to the world. ironically by being the main character of his books he became the maker of his own demise. bc everything and everyone had to relate to him and his problems first before they could ever have any of their own. that is why keeping him in a perpetual state of emotional collapse has been so profitable. it is the easiest way to tell a story without ever having to make an effort on anyone else in it

note: one clarification i forgot to make earlier is that everything i wrote above is specifically with respect to bruce’s emotional abuse. i personally think there is zero justification for bruce’s physical abuse and that it can’t actually be extrapolated from anything about him as a character at the core, so whenever writers resort to it in the pages i dismiss it completely

[strangewiggles]

another bertie (and micky) post but its not lyrics this time.

long bertie character thoughts post. very long. very gibberish.

[ EDIT NOTE: dont take this post insanely seriously or extremely canon or anything, its late and im tired and when i do character speculations they’re usually word salad in the vague form of a real point. ]

i kind of wonder how self-aware bertie is? or if she ever grows into being fully self aware?

i realized recently, after making a sketch comic (which i wanna color and post at some point) about bertie as a kid, that bertie (as an adult) can hardly take care of herself. she definitely lacks a huge chunk of self awareness that a normal adult would have.

i wouldnt say she’s essentially a big adult baby or anything, she’s actually fairly intelligent…she’s got book smarts. she’s an econ major and enjoys math to some extent. she did well in school growing up. all that.

but she doesn’t know how to … be a person. she’s 1 of 2 kids, 10 years younger than her sister. her parents, expecting bertie to jusr be a fully grown adult out of the womb, treat her like an idiot, way into adulthood (resulting in bertie going to college around 22. close to when micky started, but for different reasons). but they dont teach her anything. she should just know.

in the aforementioned sketch comic, little bertie (approx. 10 years old), makes dinner for herself while the rest of her family is god-knows-where. she learned to make a pot of spaghetti from watching her mom do it, and ultimately fails, despite telling her sister over the phone that she didn’t. even as a young kid, in this comic bertie is very aware of how her family thinks of her. they give up on her easily.

she needs to know how to do the task. immediately. correctly. independently.

ADDITIONALLY, bertie’s family leaves her alone as a kid very, very often. it definitely toes the line of neglect, if not going totally over it. aside from learning how to do things by observing, a lot of times she straight up had to guess.

and, yknow, thats not to say her relationship with her family is bad. she loves them. but being 10 while your sibling is 20 is a hard thing to live up to with these standards her parents have.

it internalizes.

…this lack of “adulting” knowledge makes her a bit of a …slob. unintentionally. she does what she can, like she doesn’t trash micky’s apartment, but she has a hard time consistently cleaning or doing chores. knowing when or how to do them. (not to say shes TOTALLY INCOMPETENT. but she has to teach herself how to do things. the right way. everything mentioned before has made her a very proud and independent person.) …which is why she kinda works as a roommate to someone whos attached to her. Micky. micky is okay with picking up after her and doing things for her. cooking and such. which, i think, can contribute to any current (while w micky) lack of self awareness. this never poses a problem unless bertie tries to do something on her own and micky tries to help, causing bertie to act out, (wrongfully)accusing micky of thinking she’s dumb. most of the time, though, i can see bertie purposefully neglecting to help out of embarrassment.

…but how does this work EMOTIONALLY. emotional self-awareness. or even just general emotional awareness. does she know when she’s being irrational? does she know when she hurts someone else’s (micky’s) feelings? how often?

i wrote down once that bertie probably notices when she’s being a dick ‘most of the time’…just very belated. she believes there’s a time limit on apologies, which results in her not apologizing ‘most of the time.’

but it’s not only apologies..

its this panel that made me think “how self aware is she? when? how consistently?” in the moment of me drawing this, her hand framed here was just her fidgeting, or she wasn’t even really supposed to actively be thinking about her hands. reflecting back, now im just thinking about the claws and the positioning. is bertie aware of her claws here? is this a display of her being “bad to be around”? does bertie think that her and micky being around eachother is bad for the both of them, or does she think that her being around micky is bad for micky? is bertie are that she’s at fault? when did she realize?

“well jesse you wrote the damn thing so—” WELL I ONLY JUST THOUGHT ABOUT IT OKAY.

originally i just wanted bertie to make terms with the fact that her relationship with micky was dysfunctional. right there in that moment. in am’s car. i think she knew, partially, when she micky suggested that she move out, but didn’t realize her part in it so much. it took things getting VERY bad before she realized things were… bad!

it definitely took her months to make this observation:

(the addition of “i think…” was very intentional here to show bertie’s lack of… any general awareness)

ive written that bertie is… unaware of how far micky’s mental issues go for a long time. she still doesn’t completely get it, or her part in it. she doesn’t ever — to me, anyway — fully realize how much her actions effect micky.

i think im rambling a little and this post HAARDLY makes sense, its 2 am, so ill try to answer my own questions so i can stop typing this already because my earbuds are dying.

i want to leave bertie’s amount of self-awareness fluid, but still slim. i personally think (and i definitely want to write it in a way where anyone can make their own interpretations of her) that bertie is aware of her incapabilities as they become immediately apparent to her. it takes things getting bad before she’s aware of her own mental state and that of the people around her. things need to be obvious to her before she realizes. but MAYBE. maybe. she’s in a constant state of denial. her character, as previously mentioned, is very proud. snippy. i think she can deny reality so hard that it doesnt exist to her. its easy when she parties, gets drunk, high. i think reality is whatever she needs it to be.

…i also think this post is also kinda gibberish. enjoy

[helloanthy]

tbh i was kind of expecting vriska at the end of the colors of utena

idk if this is python sending this anon because what a coincidence it would be ! but either way ill take this opportunity to share our conversation about hs/rgu from 2 days ago

🐒 munke [10:20 PM] on my last helloanyhy i drew anthy as kanaya mayhaps i should terezi her this time [10:20 PM] not character parallels .jus anthy cosplay things

🐍 python [10:20 PM] terezi [pog]

🐒 munke [10:21 PM] terezis ur rose bride

🐍 python [10:21 PM] anthy cosplays all the homestuck trolls

🐒 munke [10:21 PM] (makes u into bug cannibal)

🐍 python [10:21 PM] om nom nom nom [me turning myself into a bug and also you so i can cannibalize you] [10:22 PM] terezi's name is razor gillette and shes an orchid mantis

🐒 munke [10:22 PM] my brain is getting chemicaliszed so i cabt mental exercise but bow do u think anthy n vriska would get alkng oe not

🐍 python [10:22 PM] ummm… i imagine something similar to how anthy and nanami get along

🐒 munke [10:23 PM] did u kno ladbugs hav to drill a hole thru the females exoskeletob to creat an orifice to mate [10:23 PM] wohldnt that be heinous [10:23 PM] rips u a new asshole

🐍 python [10:23 PM] vriska: does not agree with anthy's submission so she comes in with a lot of bluster [10:23 PM] anthy: 🙂

🐒 munke [10:23 PM] omg. vrisknami ?+ [10:24 PM] nariska

🐍 python [10:24 PM] nanami is not A vriska, i think, but she feels very adjacent to me [10:24 PM] i need 2 ponder that one more [10:24 PM] i do know i consider wakaba and jade to be similar though [10:25 PM] i think vriska considers anthy to be very boring. so she might provoke her a lot. like how she was w aradiabot [10:25 PM] but also that was bc vriska considered aradia a friend… so idk with a stranger she might just be rude

🐒 munke [10:26 PM] wait ur wakajade parraleld [10:26 PM] i would like to hear defensr

🐍 python [10:26 PM] theyre both sidelined by the plot very heavily [10:26 PM] w wakaba its like lampshaded but w jade less so [10:26 PM] they both couldve been the protag in another comic

🐒 munke [10:27 PM] ahhhh [10:27 PM] rebound girlies ……..

🐍 python [10:27 PM] theyre both aware of how distant they r from the canon… and hate it [10:27 PM] yeas… [10:28 PM] i think the difference is that jade was sidelined bc she was too powerful for the plot. like she is the most involved in sburb of the beta kids (her life does not truly begin until they enter the game) but shes also the least involved in all the big battles bc shes too strong [10:28 PM] the hand of god taking her off the table… [10:28 PM] i think wakaba is just sidelined bc its not her story LOL [10:29 PM] like she HAS her own plot she can be involved in (shes the princess of that other world or whatever and she literally found her prince) but she doesnt want it ‼‼ she wants to be in this one. [10:30 PM] thats all i have maybe theres another utena character who jade is a closer analog to idk [10:33 PM] i think in terms of like… placement irt the plot? vriska's thing is that the story is always trying to sideline her but she (and also the hand of god very transparently) keeps putting her back in. and also terezi did that once too lol. but nanami and vriska share a similar role of … being subjected to a lot of humiliation (plot wise) but also their backstories are a trauma dump. and also ofc the personalities

and today

🐒 munke [1:13 PM] did u send me an anon on hehlloanthy about vriska

🐍 python [1:13 PM] not at all [1:13 PM] what does it say ⁉️⁉️⁉️‼️⁉️‼️⁉️

🐒 munke [1:13 PM] 🤨

🐍 python [1:13 PM] BELIEB ME

🐒 munke [1:13 PM] ok well im ghonna post our conversation about rgu/hs parallels then [1:13 PM] just to share 💜

🐍 python [1:15 PM] okay addendum to what i said before [1:18 PM] for homestuck, rheres a difference between hussie the self insert joke and hussie the wielder of the hand of god. re: vriska remaining relevant via the hand of god. like hussies self insert is an allegory for the narrative going off the rails and out of their control. but ofc like theyre the one still writing and arting for it, so they arent truly divorced from the narrative decisions jn the real world. DOES THIS MAKE SENSE

🐒 munke [1:22 PM] yes

🐍 python [1:22 PM] i just want to circumvent the haters 😈

🐒 munke [1:22 PM] HSFJDFJSKDHFOKDSJ

[the-faultofdaedalus]

IDEA. AIRON MAN BESTIES WITH A ROGUE DOOMBOT WHO'S JUST TRYING TO BUILD THEIR OWN PERSONALITY AND LIFE OUTSIDE OF THEIR IMPLANTED MEMORIES..........

COULD BE AN ACCIDENTAL GAINING OF FREEDOM OF CONSCIOUSNESS, LIKE W/ SENTIENT ARMOR, BUT I ALSO THINK IT COULD BE RLLY NEAT IF THEY WERE A PROTOTYPE DOOMBOT THAT ENDED UP HAVING MORE FREEDOM AND CAPABILITY FOR GROWTH THAN INTENDED AND THEY'VE BEEN LIVING THEIR OWN LIFE SINCE (IDEALLY W/ VICTOR'S SUPPORT BC RESPECT FOR THE AUTONOMY OF HIS CITIZENS AND CREATIONS AND ALL THAT)

BONDING OVER THE TECHNOLOGICAL FUNCTIONS AND LIMITATIONS OF THEIR FORMS, THE PRESSURE TO APPEAR A SIMULACRUM OF A BIOLOGICAL ENTITY AND THE FEAR OF HOW OTHERS WOULD VIEW AND REACT TO THEIR TRUE SELVES, THE "I AM CONNECTED TO MY CREATOR, BUT I AM NOT HIM IN THE WAYS HE WAS HIMSELF AND I AM MORE THAT WHAT HE MADE ME FOR," THE STEMBOY SWAG, ETC........

I ALSO THINK IT COULD BE FUNKY TO EXPLORE LIKE. I AM AN INDIVIDUAL DISTINCT FROM MY CREATOR BUT I AM STILL TIED TO HIM. DO I FEEL OBLIGATED TO ONLY DRAW FROM HIS VISION? DO I FEEL GUILTY FOR ADDING ELEMENTS OF MY PERSONALITY TO HIS DESIGN OF ME? WOULD HE BE PROUD OF WHO I'VE BECOME?

TRULY THIS WAS JUST MEANT TO BE A VAGUE NOTION OF A POTENTIAL CHARACTER BUT I STARTED THINKING AND GOT HOOKED DJSLHFLSHFLS BUT YES HELLO

oh there literally are already feral doombots just Around. thats canon. they are... already sapient as far as im aware (but like, sapient in that they have enough of victor's memories and personality to successfully pretend to be him and sometimes for them to not know they aren't him. also they can feel pain. questioning why victor has made ten thousand cannon-fodder robots with also his whole brain in them which also can fully feel pain is a different post) but yeah feral doombots my beloved

there’s like…. at least two i know of. the one with the fancy coat and the one calling himself vincent that actually looks like a human, i love them. i have so many thoughts about feral doombots just Around and Vibin and its not like victor gives a shit. he can make new ones. whatever.

but also ;-; that's So good, especially if its somehow pre-reveal for iron man being Known as anything other than like, a human in an armor so perhaps he meets a doombot somehow (maybe it's stealing replacement parts from SI and when IM realizes that its not... actually taking anything dangerous hes like. oh. oh. because he's smart enough to also know why he isnt just going to get repaired like normal) and it's just, this sense of Recognition that iron man cannot say anything else

i think it would be good if it was like. iron man offers to help fix the bot. oor just, helps him. no expectation of anything else. and the doombot is supicious because of course it is, it was programmed by Paranoid Bastard Supreme, and it's not like iron man can even tell it why he wants to help it so badly, because even if he doesn't think it's actively a danger that doesn't mean giving it the information that he isn't human like everyone assumes wouldn't be... an incredibly bad idea. it's still attached to a supervillan, after all

(also sidenote but i am frothing at the mouth about potential doomquest in this universe it would be SO funny,,,,,, king arthur sends a pretty lady to iron man's room for "companionship" and iron man is just like. ah. ok. i dont know what is expected of me right now. also doomquest is very good to me, specifically, because its one of the only early comics things where almost anyone has more respect for tony than for iron man, which i enjoy, i think it would be SO good for airon man au especially if iron man is like. in danger of just... running out of power. technicallyyyyy i think this should also be a problem in canon, i think doomquest happens during chestplate era, where hes largely not able to go more than about a day without Dramatic Wall Outlet Time and yet hes fine just vibin in camelot (famously deprived of wall outlets) for at least a couple of days, but YEAH SEND AIRON MAN TO CAMELOT i think hed be both freaked out and also. sad that tony couldn't experience it. i think the background radiation of iron man's life is just... sadness that tony cannot experience any of the cool things he does)

but like... him continuing too help this doombot. maybe the doombot also helps him out somehow, as well. maybe subtly interveening in some fights. maybe giving iron man some neat lil tech tips. maybe a;klsdjfasdf the doombot still wants like. Something To Do and not just sit idle all the time or something so iron man hooks 'em up with a fuckin. tech support job. or like, product testing, for SI. something where he can just fix shit thats been broken in the stupidest ways or, try to destroy other things. who knows i dont. but maybe theres an attack at SI and iron man deals with it but hes damaged, and normally he'd like. hide away and do a quick n dirty patch job just so theres not obvious holes into nothing, but. the doombot follows him. and finds him. and its just... looking at eachother. knowing "oh fuck we're the same" and also "oh fuck he knows"

i think they should help fix eachother up and be buddies anyways it'd be good

[misspickman]

🍓🎲🍄❄️🐚!!!

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? I think the first fandom i actively wrote fics for was cr2? And then friends at the table had me writing a Lot (most of it never posted but hey) and im Not happy with any of those fics at this point but i am glad i wrote them bc it definitely got me into writing more as a hobby

🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time? Uhh my inability to force myself to sit down and write. Simply. I am my own worst enemy. But lately also the lure of bg3. Which technically also falls under the first category but im deciding to blame the game directly

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings. I havent really been in a shippy mood with comics lately so i cant think of anything. Um. My interpretation of pillars of eternity not letting you romance anyone is that clover (my oc) and kana rua absolutely had this Thing they never addressed but are both very aware of but theres too much shit going on and its just never the right moment. And then they both go their own ways with that attraction never explored so i played the second game with that kind of melancholy in mind bc kana does show up briefly to wave at you from a different ship and its a much more bittersweet scene, if you think of it this way, + clover definitely has some psychosexual thing with berath the goddess of death too. So theres that

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best? Ok answer 1 almost anything transfem tim related but we are all (including me) tired of me saying that so i have answer 2: post spring in hieron fero retuning to the university even if only temporarily, which is then used as a way to explore his isolation and inability to connect with people. Ive kinda been on the edges of the fatt fandom so idk who would write it best but i would love to see it regardless

🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises? I guess i like them? This is a funny question i dont think ive been surprised a lot. I just know things

[lethalbreadkills]

so much zonic. these are all minorly incoherent buuuut yeah. reading forward please remember almost all of this is based on a roleplay me n my friends have been working on for a while now :)

regular ass no zone

pretty much the no zone is the multiverse prison- with cops to match. their zone (the universes) runs parallel to all other zones, so yeah they walk on walls its fun

HOWEVER the no zone is. well. its fucked up. dystopian cyberpunk future setting, with extreme technological advances and surprisingly enough /s, mass amounts of corruption. most of the content we see revolves around the no zone prison, which is where multiversal delinquents and criminals are kept. zonic is one of the highest ranking officers, and elite zone cop, and he watching all of the zones on tiny screens in a large room. he spends his life watching the lives of other sonics, seeing what he can never have. hes canonically 17 btw. just thought that was important to note.

one of the biggest issues we see in the comics is the warden (zobotnik) being a magnum cunt as per usual. hes the source of the corruption we see in comic, preferring violent methods of rehabilitation of the prisoners that generally dont actually work. theres a small program in place run by the therapist, zouge, to try and change the way rehabilitation is handled, actually trying to help the prisoners instead of torturing them and going yeah that works. at least in the universe me oat and jove have going, zouge is quite literally being blackmailed into continuing to work there with her life, with her having many cybernetic augmentations due to what would have been a fatal injury. zonic has depression. zouge also has depression. fun fact the no zone canonically clips scourges quills down to a very unhealthy length and theres not enough room in zonics uniform for him to have proper quills so he also has trimmed quills. theyre trimmed in the actual worst way possible (an electric razor) and thus dont grow back properly. more on that later anyways the only reason hedgehogs are even allowed to have quills as long as they do (which is still far too short) is because zonic straight up had an anxiety attack in the middle of a mission

(not fun)

also blackmail is a common thing, with zobotnik using plenty to keep ZONIC working as well, seeing as hes been working there SINCE he was nine (this is extremely illegal but no one gives a shit soooo :// oh well), with a big one being shit like "what would your father think?" (zules was an elite zone cop and died in action), and also the fact that due to beginning working when he was a child, he has no fucking clue what his rights are and thus works... whenever they tell him to. which is usually. he has no fucking friends and the closest he has is literally watching other sonics lives and getting attached to them as characters but not as people. because. he just,, watches their lives and interferes when shit gets too fucked. not good

scary current(ish) stuff

CURRENTLY in the roleplay (and im only explaining this so that the next section makes more sense.

currently, zonic has been fired (due to him using the favt he is a child (among many other reasons lmao) to get zobotnik out of power. it worked, but now hes out of a job bc...of his own reasoning. hes a child.) and is living in the prime zone for a bit. scourge has already been manipulated by mephiles (before and during getting KIDNAPPED) and then after as well) and offers to talk to mephiles so that he has a job to do

(zonic has gone so long being told what to do he longer knows how to function without it, so he readily agrees, happy to be obedient once again)(its kind of a coping mechanism. he has Issues)

so he and scourge are both helping mephiles whilst being manipulated by him. they arent aware.

of course this all comes to a head and goes way fucking wrong- but. well. thats a story for another time.

mephiles goes into hiding. zonic has been further trained into such obedience he struggles to function, attempting multiple times to run back to mephiles (it doesnt work)

which leads is toooo~

an alt route.

SO BASICALLY basically zonic goes to eggman yknow. and like,, what eggman *wouldnt* be happy with a sonic whos willing to do whatever he says? evem without the speed (which he gets taught how to control and use :)) he was actually combat trained, so he can fuck people up. and hes willing to do whatever eggman says.

and well, eggman doesnt really know about thw other zones and shit but this is a kid that looks and sounds exactly like sonoc aside from shorter quills and scars, so ots not hard to tell that *spmethings* up with him

orbot and cubot are. far more concerned about him mentally like theres so much wrong woth this kid. also hes short as hell. thats not important to this you just need to know that. but slowly hes learning to use his speed, and because. why not. we cant have a naked eggion (ignore all the naked eggions theyre not important) (mostly to hide his identity because lets be honest ots SUPER FUCKING OBVIOUS) he gwts a uniform. and upon trying out the gloves, the fact that his bracelet is the only thing keeping him.... upright, at least for them. adhering their gravitational pull, is found out. pretty much confirming that theres something wrong about zonic. they take a bit- experimenting woth technology to make the transition between the two easier. granted, it took a while, and zonic did not feel good (switchign pretty much made him fall face first into the floor)(or wall, depending) which was pretty finny

so yeah he had a migraine for a while bit it happens yknow

hes also got a longer mechanical tail (attaches to his actual tail) to help with keeping balance while running as well as general assistance, acting like nines tails from prime :)

hes also concerned orbot n cubot (and eggman but to a more minor extent) by vaguely talking about stuff from the past. comments like "this is the best job ive wver had :)" and "im glad you let me keep my quills. theyve never been this long before"(which likely does catch eggman off guard at least because. theyre still super short at this time) and readily agreeing to spy on his friends for eggman because thats what hes spent his entire life doing and he doesnt realize its wrong. stuff that kids shouldnt be saying or doing lol.

also the fact zonic accidentally tells eggman theres other universes when hes extremely delirious from staying up for nearly three days and having to desperately go "hey hey dont do whatever youre planning on dking because you will literally reset REALITY again and thats not very cool"

(then these replies from my wonderful boyfriend who helped me by . knowing eggman far better than i LMAO)

zonic doesnt quite.. have motives? at least, not in that way. hes not really out to hurt people (yet). he's just.. desperate. he's gone his entire life under someones control, and not being so scares him. and he cant go back to mephiles, so eggman is the familiar middle ground. im not sure if desperation for the familiar counts as a motive, but thats what hes got. and then he stays because, well, it's better than every other job hes had.

IM NOT.. sure how that would work out? purely for the fact that like, the sonic team,, isnt really friends. theyre more aquaintences. zonic doesnt really... have friends. and he likely tries to keep his familial relations a secret, as much as he can at least. because he literally ran away for this. the spying only happened after a WHILE because zonic had been dead online for like. months. and upon learning he talked to them he was (initially) upset before realizing zonic could spy on them- at least i believe thats what was said lol. and zonics not going to try and get eggman to change his mind on friendship, cause to be quite honest, he ,, doesnt consider them friends. because hes not allowed friends. zobotnik sure as hell didnt want him having any considering how he was isolated. so.

AND I ACTUALLY LOVE THE ZONIC METAL THING? because also a big part of zonic is literally that he had to spend his life watching all of the sonics live lives he could never even *dream* of having. and now that he has the ability, he thinks thats his only option. be the name. hes not sonic, but he has to be. scourge is the only sonic to have denied his name and hes... well. its scourge. this is making less sense the longer i ramble aaaaa sorry lmao metals thing may have backfired tho because zonics going on a villain arc after this LMAO

GOIGGE. okay chat i think thats enough 4 now lol. ggihrhhrerrerr bye bye

[seeminglydark]

@onetwistedmiracle yes this is my art! raptorjules is my screenname and seemingly dark is the webcomic these two are from! They are my original characters, and im completely hyperfixated on them (if you go through my seeminglydark blog pretty much every image is them cuz I'm getting their comic printed in June so focusing a lot!) obviously i'm wed to them canonically, the punk on the left is a cis/gnc amab and the cheerleader on the right is a closeted afab nonbinary/transmasc whos not yet transitioned cuz this image is from their highschool days, 15/16 yrs old.

All that being said, im perfectly aware because there is no faces or anything in the art to indicate who they are unless the viewer has read my comics, and its pretty open to interpretation, so people are having a really good time projecting their own ideas and otps and stuff on it, and because of that, to be honest? its perfectly fine with me. ive had a couple people tag me in fics inspired by it that were dr who or other things. im totally fine with you writing something inspired by it, and if you do, please tag me so i can see and credit the art to me @raptorjules (im actually not a big fan of people downloading and reposting the image, however im totally aware it happens, so if someone reading this does, plz at least tag me so people can find my art! im raptorjules on most socials, id appreciate that.) The idea my art can be inspiring someone to make something of their own is really cool. if you see them as cis/afab in this art and want to write something about them, thats fine with me!

The prompt was ‘detention.’

[screaming-heart]

hello. i am an introject. this is a long ass ramble about my opinions surrounding the terms source-attached and source-separated, as well as what those words mean to me (and our system as a whole). This is, in fact, very long. Be warned.

Introduction and Rambling

so our host has been engaging with my source media recently (which consequently has made me more aware of its existence than i have been in maybe 2 years) and i've been thinking about the nature of my existence.

i saw lestat made a post on this account a while ago describing her experience with being a fictional introject, and while i agree with most of what it said, a lot of it didn't ring true for me.

like, she was explaining how he felt in between the terms source separated and source attached because she was still similar in many ways to his source, but most of those similarities were, at that point, independent of the source.

im sort of the opposite. i'm basically still my source in every way. same name, age, appearance (i don't even have new clothes or anything). i still act the same and talk the same. If you put me and source-me into a venn diagram, it would just about be a circle. and yet, i consider myself source separated.

now, to any normal person, this discrepancy would be chalked up to "every alter is different and these words are made up," which is true, but I also didn't intend to front today and have a lot of time on my hands, so I decided to look more into the system community's relationships with introjects (primarily fictional introjects, although i will talk about others types as well). my primary source is tumblr, because the DID community on this website is like a disease i have the antibodies for, and all other websites are like diseases that will kill me instantly.

So, lets proceed.

Actually before that, a few disclaimers.

1) i am not a doctor, nor am i the arbiter of what a system is supposed to look like. None of this is meant to fakeclaim, just to see others experiences and compare them to my own.

2) I am including both traumagenic systems and non-traumagenic systems in my data because, honestly, i do not have the energy to filter anyone out. however, this post does just assume that introjects / alters are a result of trauma. if that is not true in your case, this post isn't about you.

3) I don't plan on going into the specifics of any trauma, personal or otherwise, however i will likely mention some events and experiences throughout this post. i'll trigger warning them accordingly, but proceed with caution.

Part One: Fictional Introjects (AKA "Fictives) On Tumblr

So i will start off by saying that I don't like the word fictive for many reasons, and prefer to be referred to as a fictional introject (although these days i'd prefer to not be called an introject at all, but i digress). However, the word fictive is both more widely used (afaik), and shorter, so i'll likely use that term through most of this useless analysis.

So, my first observation after 5-10 minutes of looking through the 'fictive' tag gives me this information: many people who talk about their fictives consider themselves 'fictive-heavy.'

from my brief look through the tag, i identified somewhere between 1/3 and 1/2 of systems identified as 'fictive-heavy.' Idk what this means, but i found it sort of interesting.

Observation No. 2: i found a surprising amount of posts (not too many, but more than i thought i would find) that showed fictives actively roleplaying as themselves. I found this interesting, since for me and the other fictional introjects i've met, this sounds absolutely mortifying.

Observation No. 3: there were quite a few posts about source separation, specifically positivity posts for introjects who had key differences from their source (ie. non-canon memories, different appearance, etc). There was also a post of a comic explaining source separation, which will be very helpful later.

Now, these things have made me realise something.

Many of the introjects i've seen on tumblr are very aware of the fact that they're an introject.

Systems joke about how the fictives' portrayal of themself is considered 'so authentic' by roleplay partners who are unaware of the author's identity. memes are made about the bewilderment when the fictive says something out of character in a fanfiction. people vent about how their source memories are really hitting hard today, and how much they miss others from their source all the time, every day. And I find that so strange.

The last point specifically reminds me of source-call channels in many system discord servers. I've always hated those channels for the harm they can cause, which I won't get into right now, but I also never understood the point.

and now I think I do. These introjects identity as *insert character here* is something they are always aware of. they are always aware of the fact that they used to be someone else in a different universe. Not only that, but they think this behavior is expected.

All the positivity posts about how introjects are not their source are very necessary in this environment, because introjects in this community feel less 'valid' or 'real' when their experiences are not what I outlined above.

I think this is the root of why the terms source separated and source attached exist. they are a false dichotomy brought on by the belief that introjects are their source, see themselves as their source, and always see themselves as their source.

Part One Point Five: Ben's Bullshit

I don't know how to smoothly transition into this section, so I'm just gonna start it here. If you don't wanna hear my story and experiences, and just wanna skip to the analysis, go ahead and do so.

My experiences with the community of introjects on tumblr are limited. I was one of the first alters our then-host discovered, right after I split. This era was before we were really interacting with the system community, so I existed as an outside observer. I pretty quickly realised I didn't fit in, although at the time I didn't know why, so I stopped caring.

When I split, I knew what had happened. Our host had suspected DID for a little while at that point, and one of our Gatekeepers essentially filled me in on what was going on. I knew who I was, what my role was, and why I was the one who was here. My status as an introject was unimportant.

I was gonna keep my identity a secret, but I actually don't care. My source is Ben Hargreeves from the hit TV show the Umbrella Academy, which our host had been watching during a particularly hard part of their life. The reason my character was introjected was obvious to everyone in the system at the time; our host related to Klaus a lot (minus the drug problems, plus the mommy issues), and I was Klaus's support system. My role was obvious, and also urgent.

As this part of our life was ending, I became curious about my 'introject' status. I was confused why it was important. I did not split with specific source memories or attachments or information. our host felt anxiety over my complete lack of source memories, actually. that fact contributed to the spiral of doubt and denial that they were going through at the time. as for me, I never cared. I knew who i was.

thats why i find the attitude of many other introjects on this website strange. the idea of roleplaying myself or writing fanfiction or seeking out others with similar memories never made sense to me because my source wasn't important to me. it was just that thing I was based on.

sure, when i see pictures of Ben during seasons 1 and 2 I see myself. when i hear about the plotline of the show I distantly recall that happening to me. but my source was never the important part about me, it was just an extra comfort afforded to our host. to me, the important part about me was my job.

but, of course, thats my experience, and we have other fictional introjects in our system. And this whole thing was inspired by Lestat's post, so I might as well bring him up.

TW for this next bit: i'm going to go over some of our experiences regarding emotional abuse, mental illness, and toxic relationships. i don't go into too much detail, but reader discretion is advised.

(Lestat uses he/she/it pronouns. I'm sticking to he/him for consistency. i promise he doesn't care.)

In my case, my source was secondary to my job. I was a caretaker first, just with a ben hargreeves coloured coat of paint. Lestat is different.

Lestat's existence as an introject is directly related to his source, the AMC adaptation of Interview With The Vampire. Our host watched the first episode of the show, and had such an emotional reaction that he and Louis popped up. Louis is much like me; the character he's based on is secondary to the function he serves. Lestat's job, on the other hand, is inextricable with the man he's based off of.

We were never able to get past the first episode of the show, but what Lestat shared (and what we heard from other viewers later) felt eerily similar to our experiences, even if we didn't know it. specifically, his time being held captive. as a child, our family would lock us in our room for hours, sometimes just to get us to go to sleep, sometimes as punishment. the feelings of abandonment and hopelessness he described matched up quite well.

later, his abusive and obsessive treatment of Louis mirrored our own struggles with relationships, flipping between adoring someone to hating them at the drop of a hat.

lestat's source memories serve a function. they are, at their core, real memories of isolation, desperation, obsession, guilt, etc, just packaged in a way that could not happen in the real world. it's yet another form of dissociation. at his core, Lestat is the reflection of a trauma holder in a funhouse mirror. warped and strange, but still the same idea.

lestat's relationship to his source is more like those i've listed above, but still completely different. up until very recently, just mentioning his source would make him melt down and bring up flashbacks. he did have people from his source who he missed, but the idea of interacting with any of them made him sick.

but most of all, he was more than a representation of a character.

his source was important for trauma reasons. when we weren't dealing with the trauma reasons, he was just a guy. he made a lot more reference to his life as a 200-or-so year old vampire than I ever did, but he never felt the need to be lestat. he explains this idea better in his post, but his source didn't affect every part of his life.

i think that's what confuses me most about the introjects of tumblr. in my daily life, my source didn't matter. all it did was give our unconscious mind a blueprint to spit me out, and nothing else. In lestat's case, its the same. we've never been so preoccupied with our source because at the end of the day, it was just a tool that our brain used to deal with traumatic situations. it wasn't, to us at least, more important than that.

Part Two: Okay So What Does This Have To Do With Source Separation?

good question! as i outlined in part one, I think the concept of source attachment stems from the system community's obsession with introject accuracy. this issue has gotten a lot better now, I've noticed, but for a while every introject was judged on how much they were like their source.

now, they weren't necessarily judged negatively if they were very different from their source, but they were judged. despite so many posts explaining that introjects are not their source, we still couldn't escape our roots.

so, as far as i can tell, the concept of 'source separation' didn't exist until the system community made it up. introjects have been noted in a lot of DID-related literature, however they were usually introjects of abusers, and sometimes caretakers. these alters would be dealt with like any other alter: by getting them to slowly unlearn their harmful behaviours, and become more cooperative with the rest of the system.

however, with the rise of fictional introjects occuring in systems, many of whom find their source to be a comfort or safe place instead of something hurtful, the idea of source separation was born.

the way introjects form is, at least in traumagenic systems, unhealthy, and healing often involves acknowledging and coping with your past and your present. therefore, introjects who had a hard time moving on from their source might hinder those goals. that's the reason many traumagenic systems encourage source-separation, as it's seen as a form of healing.

however, how important source separation is to recovery heavily depends on what it actually entails.

this comic defines source separation as 'the process an introject goes through of realizing they are not their source.' this, at its core, seems to be the generally accepted definition. however, it isn't very useful.

many, if not most, introjects know logically that they are not their source. this knowledge often doesn't change too much about how their source affects them. traumatic memories, personal information, and appearance don't tend to change when an introject acknowledges their source, and often don't change even when that acknowledgement becomes an actual, deeply held belief. this doesn't feel like its inherently healing.

so i think, for source separation to be a Good Thing tm, there needs to be actual work put into the why. Why was this person introjected? why are they this similar/dissimilar to their source? why is this what our brain felt it needed to survive?

and now, it becomes clear to me that source separation is not, in itself, recovery. source separation is a product of recovery.

at the end of the day, introjects are the way they are because of trauma, just like every other alter ever. i think that the separation of introjects from other alters has made this fact a lot less clear. introjects are not different from any other alter, and they shouldn't be treated differently, either.

Part Two Point Five: Ben Again!

This is honestly why I don't like being called an introject. It isn't actually that important to me, to who I am, to how I work, etc. I think the label of introject is useful as a descriptor, like how the terms protector and little are used, and not necessarily as a singular identity. I am not just an introject, or a protector, or a nonhuman, or whatever else. I'm all of those things, and more, and just like its shitty to assume anything about an alter because of their role or their age, i think its shitty to assume things about introjects because of their source attachment, or their memories, or whatever else.

[organchewer]

THATS WHAT IM SAYIN!!! FR so many people overlook the suggested age thingies even if it isn't specifically stated

Another thing to consider is Taks Ship stating Zim has decades (big empasis on the plural) of military training and also these lil things I picked out from the unaired episode The Trial (picked from the script and one about elite drafting is an inference based on Tak stating she would have to had waited another 70 yrs to get another chance

5 yrs- blackout 1

10 years- education

4 years- blackout 2

Irken elite / invader drafting every 70 years?

Also Zim stated in Nano Zim that he has been piloting ships since BEFORE Dib was born

My main grief with the whole Irken age thing is people stating Zim is 160 as I cannot find any canon source of this (if there is 100% canon source that was put out before ETF I'd love to see yayay) and also people use that to say "He's 160 Irken years so hes 16 human years so its an ok ship"

I think all the time in the series (both comic and Tv and the movie) are based in human years purely for simplicity sake (as it was made for children so it'd be meaningless to incorperate multiple different time type things)

But yeah basically the most major proof that Zim and Tak (and most other Irkens in the series) are AT LEAST 50

I can't make people stop doing a thing but it is swag to spread awareness on this so people can make their own decisions based on canon evidence

Rando rant.. Sometimes I think people forget that Dib is 12, and Zim is well over adult age. While no set age has been necessarily set for Zim, it’s been confirmed from the Episode “Tak: The Hideous New Girl” That both Tak and Zim are over the age of 50, when Tak goes to explain that Zim ruined her life 50 YEARS AGO. I’ve had people argue in the past that ‘well both Zim and Tak were ok with the idea of dating each other- with Zim thinking Tak was a middle aged schoolgirl”. That’s true- and that’s weird in itself. But from an Aliens stand point- he’s only doing it for the mission to better conquer Earth. He also, really can’t love. I’d argue he can only hold empathy for certain beings that he knows- as well as the fact that he only loves the cold unfeeling robot arm he came in contact with when he was a smeet, but whatever- save it for another time. It’s crazy to me how widely accepted ZADR or really any Human x Irken ship is throughout the fandom, and the fact people ignore so many signs is also bad. It disgusts me that i’ve also had people try to argue that mentally; Zim is a child. He’s still well over old man age- and so is Tak too. It still makes the ships wrong. Unfortunately most fans turn a blind eye to this ??? for some reason. anyhow if anyone wants to argue or whatever kiss my SPIKY IRKEN BOOTS and let’s dance because OH BROTHER I know i’m right.