#im autistic and asexual which

[library-fae]

im not touch repulsed im like... skin to skin contact repulsed

[autumnfaepuppy]

i hate being sex repulsed because ill get The Urge and it will be fine and ill indulge until suddenly The Horrors and now every erotic sensation is too much and sexual content is boring

[autisticlee]

it kind of sucks when all your friends and family, everyone you know, are all pairing off and getting married and havinf families, except you. you're the only one that doesn't have a partner and probably can/will never get one. especially if one around you has time for you anymore, they never reach out, never get back to you, because they're only focused on their partners and families. you're stuck alone and drift away from everyone through no fault of your own. you have no hope of finding your own partner or no motivation to look for one for whatever reason. the lack of connections while seeing everyone around you having their own can get overwhelmingly lonely at times....

[contagious-watermelon]

am i the only one who feels like aspecs have started doing to "allo" what neurodivergent people have done to "neurotypical"

[medichamcham]

lmao i also was going to tag cyrus on that post but then changed my mind at the last min 💀🤝💀

KLGDSJGLIDSGLIDS OK IM GLAD BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE !!!!!!!!!! its ok i am irrelevant on this website so i'll say it for you . 😔🤜🤛😔

[pyreshe]

not to start shit on a thursday afternoon but i cannot deal with peeps who are like "this character can't be ace AND autistic, that's infantilizing," .......like there aren't whole ass ace and autistic people out there irl living their lives. u wanna tell them that they're infantilizing themselves by being ace or that they're too naive and dumb to know their own sexuality?

that being said, this is one of the times I think it's important to like ask why the headcanon is being made and in the case of allistic people who arent ace, ask themselves Why they have this headcanon.

like there are for SURE clowns who do actually just wanna remove an autistic or autistic coded character from shipping equations and think asexuality will further cement them as an "uwu soft innocent bean" or w/e who can't get in the way of their otp (even tho. that's not how asexuality works, but I digress) but a good chunk of these headcanons are being made by ace people on the spectrum who are going "what if they were like me :)!" (something literally everyone in fandom spaces does btw) and telling them that they're doing something Wrong for that? not great!

[crunchycrystals]

shout out to The Half-Lived Lives of Sam Sylvester for making sam's single, adoptive dad aroace. as in sam sends him a link about asexuality and aromanticism after hearing him talk about his feelings about romance and he goes "yeah that's it" i read it when i was a little too tired to feel excited and the feeling just sat in there but i really wanna talk ab it

EDIT LOL I STARTED READING AGAIN AFTER I POSTED THIS AND SAM'S ALSO ON THE ACESPEC I IMMEDIATELY RAN HERE

[nihil-tamen-omnia]

Y'know, me being uncomfortable with my high-school boyfriend when he was shirtless really should've been a big indicator I wasn't straight.

[katetorias]

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️happy pride!! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 every pride month I try to draw Miku in some kind of pride garb.. this year I made them into stickers!! they’re available on my printify :)

i am a trans autistic system and am only able to support myself using a part time job and commissions, which leaves little to put into savings after bills^^;; so if anyone is interested you’d be helping out a lot!!

i tried to focus on the most general flags I could for this first batch but I might make more! list of the current and possible flags below:

flags currently available:

- Progress

- Gay and Lesbian

- Trans and Non-binary

- Bisexual and Pansexual

- Asexual and Aromantic

- Genderfluid and Intersex

flags im considering making:

- xenogender

- mlm and wlw

[aromantichc]

Is it weird that I find that my aromanticism is a way bigger part of my identity than being ace despite being both? Like im aroace, but like AROace yk? I would consider my aro identity as separate from aroace but my asexuality is only part of being aroace, never seperate.

I don't even know if I'm ace, i feel no desire for sexual intimacy, tho i do find people sexually attractive which confuses me. Like in theory people are hot (hot) but actually having sex is repulsive to me, despite having enjoyed it in the past. Being touch repulsed autistic both confuses and explains things. I find people attractive in a sexual manner, i just dont actually want them to touch me because touch is ick. Is that ace? /genq

Like in fantasy sex is wonderful and then someone dare touch me- icky icky ew

Im certain im aromantic because i feel nothing romantically, just strong platonic/queer platonic love. I guess thats why being aro is so much bigger to me than being ace, because being aro is something im sure about whereas ace confuses me.

Advice welcome / wanted

(Advice welcome / wanted)

Crossposted to my personal account !

(Crossposted to my personal account !)

[joyboyish]

okok i saw someone talk about how they dont like zolu (which if u dont idc) but it came down to a mass mischaracterization of zoro, luffy, and sanji so i wanted to talk about it

note that the person i saw was a zosan shipper but im not at all saying zolu is better than zosan or that zosan sucks (also sorry if this comes off rude im autistic LOL)

"zolu doesnt work because luffy is aro ace!"

im aspec, but you guys need to realize asexuality and aromanticism is a spectrum. for example: someone whos demisexual would only have romantic/sexual feelings if they already have a close bond with that person. using luffys aromanticism as an excuse to why zolu doesnt work is. weird. aspec people already dont get a lot of rep, but boiling it down to one definition isnt what we are

"if you ship zolu its because of the one piece live action! they straight washed sanji!"

ok this one kind of pissed me off bc😭..... none of the strawhats are canonically queer. you can def hc someone as gay, bi, lesbian, etc. but until oda says something is canon it isnt. for example, i hc zoro as gay and sanji as bi! but neither of these are canon. sanji wasnt straight washed, his characterization is very similar to the animanga, same as the other characters. the only real difference is they toned down a lot of things they werent able to do bc its not animation

"it feels cishet female gaze-y!"

zolu, arguably, has one of the most complex dynamics in the show. zoro has completely dedicated himself to luffy and luffy has pushed him to accomplish his dream. zoro sacrificed himself in thriller bark, giving up his dream, and promise to kuina, and nearly died in the process. zoros unwavering loyalty in luffy and luffys unwavering trust in zoro is part of the main appeal. im not a cishet female, so its probably why most of this got me upset, but i myself hc them both as aspec, and that they arent very sexual people. i wouldnt necessarily call either "female gaze-y" since the male gaze is a product of the patriarchy and the female gaze is more in a "how does this man treat a woman" way but yeah.

if u disagree w me thats ok! u can block me or send me an ask explaining why u prefer zoro and sanjis dynamic! its just not for me! i just think throwing around baseless accusations like straight washing or fetishization is weird

ok bye sorry

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I (27m) the asshole for wanting my boyfriend (28m) to be attracted to me?

This involves sex as a topic but won't get explicit, I'll keep it vague. I'm asexual. Completely sex repulsed in a physical sense, mostly due to autistic sensory issues. I've never had any interest in sex and didn't have any libido at all before going on testosterone, so the way most allosexuals tend to view and think of sex is something I've always struggled to understand.

In previous relationships, my asexuality was handled in different ways depending on the person. One boyfriend was totally fine just not having a sexual aspect to our relationship, another one had a hookup he got my approval on. The compromise me and my last boyfriend came up with was that he'd text me his fantasies about me and that did a lot for him without me having to physically be in the situation, and even if I didn't get anything sexual out of it I did enjoy it. It was a confidence boost. I dont generally consider myself attractive or desirable, i wear sweaters in summer because im so self conscious, and this compromise actually did a lot to help me see myself in a different light.

I recently got into a new relationship and, as with every relationship I've been in, there's inevitably a discussion about how we're going to compromise on this issue. My new boyfriend didn't know anything about asexuality and barely understood when I explained but he's very insistent about not crossing my boundaries, which I appreciate. But the problem is, since he'd never considered sexuality from a less direct angle, he didn't really know where to even start with ideas when we were trying to work out a compromise. So, I started making suggestions, thinking back to what worked for other people I'd dated. Just abstaining wasn't going to be doable for him so I didn't suggest it, and he wouldn't be comfortable with a hookup.

I remembered my ex used to be able to get something out of telling me about his fantasies so I asked if that was something he'd be into. I wasn't angling to try to get him to agree to something, I genuinely just wanted to know whether or not that was an option to consider. He didn't actually answer at first, he went quiet and then he answered the question with another question and asked "wouldn't something like that make you uncomfortable?" And I said "no, because the physical component is the thing I have issues with, not the subject matter itself. So long as I don't have to directly engage in the situation, I'm golden."

I don't know if this is something that was really stupid of me to say and my autistic ass just didn't realize, but since he's so careful about my boundaries and comfort and tends to fret, I thought his problem in the moment was worry that I'd be making myself uncomfortable in an attempt to meet his needs. So I hurried to reassure him and said not only would it not make me uncomfortable, I'd enjoy it in a way. Not sexually, but I enjoy knowing that my partner is attracted to me. It makes me feel good about myself.

He got really upset. He doesn’t get upset easily and hadn't ever gotten properly upset with me before (at least not to this extent) so I was very taken aback, but I was floored by his reason for being upset. Not word for word, but he essentially said "so basically you want me to frustrate myself to feed your ego?"

I was, I think understandably, completely fucking appalled by such a suggestion. I said of course not, I was just suggesting something I knew worked for someone else because even if it wasn't his thing, we could narrow down options by process of elimination. Which made logical sense, to me. He wasn't calmed though, he started saying things like "so, you want your partner to be attracted to you even though you never plan on actually letting them act on that attraction? Do you see how cruel that is?" And... I don’t know, which is why I'm submitting this here. Is that cruel?

From my perspective, I would think it's only natural to want to know your partner finds you attractive, doesn't everyone want to be wanted to some degree? I don't get some sort of sadistic thrill out of it as he seemed to be implying, and I don't want it to impact my partners in a negative way. If this was something he would find frustrating then no, of course I wouldn't want him to frustrate himself, we could look at other options. When I made the suggestion, I figured the worst that would happen was he'd say no and we'd narrow down the list of options. I never imagined my moral character would be called into question.

He's usually so, so nice to me and it hit really hard for someone who’s usually so fond of me to say I sounded selfish and vain. Both actual words he used when this devolved into an argument. I explained my reasoning for suggesting it to begin with but he said the issue isn’t the suggestion, it's that he thinks that it's fucked up of me to want my partner to be attracted to me when I'm not going to indulge that attraction and it makes him wonder if I'm really a different, worse person deep down and he's only now getting to see it. He called it a red flag. That seemed like such a leap to me but I don't want to dismiss the suggestion out of hand. Many bad people think they're good people, so it's not out of the question.

This was our first real argument, previous disagreements had been talked out very calmly but emotions ran high with this one. I dont know if this is something that triggered him for deeper reasons, considering his reaction was so intensely out of the norm for him, or if the whole thing just looks entirely different from the perspective of someone who isn't sex repulsed.

Am I the asshole here? Is it really as fucked up as he says that I enjoy knowing my partner is attracted to me even though I won't agree to have sex with them?

We didn't discuss the topic any more that night, and it hasn't been brought up since. He hasn't been treating me differently than before, but he's always proactively apologized before when he was in the wrong about things and he hasn't this time, so to me that says he still stands by what he said. His words have stuck with me and they’re eating at me. I feel like such a horrible person, and I have no idea if I should feel more or less guilty about this.

Tl;dr: my boyfriend is upset that I like knowing my partners are attracted to me even though I don't want to and don't intend to have sex with them bc he thinks that's majorly fucked up and a red flag.

What are these acronyms?

[southernreaches]

copying @gallusneves with this kind of poll hehe :3

please feel free to do it too !! and tag me!! i wanna vote :D

@aeducanthaig @roseeway im only tagging you two because i'm a fag and i want you to see it. actually i don't think red has played any of these so red you're picking based on vibes. i will outline the vibes.

yrliet: you and me against the world, soulmates, completely different cultures of two people who were raised to hate each other finding solace and understanding in one another, asexual romance with a spiritual mental connection through meditation and the climax of the romance is hand holding, i have literally never been touched by or changed by a character as much as yrliet

gale: scholar with huge ego finds you promising and likes to teach you but complains about other students, grand gestures and grand displays of affection and love, would grant you godhood if you asked, would give you everything you have ever wanted if you only asked, intense low self worth and your love helps him heal... also if you become a mindflayer he is disgustingly down bad he's a freak. also hes so bad at flirting he will say hes horny in front of all ur friends while ur covered in blood and guts cuz he thinks u killing shit is hot. freak. also he proposes to you and hes totally cool with u saying no

sera: chaos gf who just wants to have fun and enjoy herself who wants things to be simple and easy to understand, while i hc everyone as autistic she's The Most autistic, shes a lesbian, she woofs at hot women, she had cookies ruined for her and she says she wants to make cookies a thing between you both 'us cookies' so she can like them again, she proposes to you and is so excited to be your wife, she throws bees at people, she beats the shit out of rich people, she is so sweet and is a MASSIVE inspiration for afhiri i won't lie

samara: very very similar to yrliet in a lot of ways, milf, says shes past the point in her life where she can love that her duty demands she not be distracted by it that she is too old to do this again blah blah a billion excuses but she clearly likes you!!, when you help her finish her duty and do as she has always wanted she finally feels like maybe she can be with you now and try it

there u go red i hope this helps. null if u think i described someone poorly i am so sorry i rushed

[twobruhsinahottub]

Is it weird that I find that my aromanticism is a way bigger part of my identity than being ace despite being both? Like im aroace, but like AROace yk? I would consider my aro identity as separate from aroace but my asexuality is only part of being aroace, never seperate.

I don't even know if I'm ace, i feel no desire for sexual intimacy, tho i do find people sexually attractive which confuses me. Like in theory people are hot (hot) but actually having sex is repulsive to me, despite having enjoyed it in the past. Being touch repulsed autistic both confuses and explains things. I find people attractive in a sexual manner, i just dont actually want them to touch me because touch is ick. Is that ace? /genq

Like in fantasy sex is wonderful and then someone dare touch me- icky icky ew

Im certain im aromantic because i feel nothing romantically, just strong platonic/queer platonic love. I guess thats why being aro is so much bigger to me than being ace, because being aro is something im sure about whereas ace confuses me.

Advice welcome / wanted

(Advice welcome / wanted)

Crossposted to my aro gimmick account !

(Crossposted to my aro gimmick account !)

[boobi-boy]

i know we're trying to get the aspec tags trending by valentines day so im gonna name some characters thatre aspec bc im aspec and i said so!

sherlock holmes (sherlock, bbc) - asexual, demiromantic.

he literally only has sex with one person ever and its for a case.

ppl come onto him and he doesnt even know???

he literally doesnt understand the difference between a date and hanging out with your friends. the difference being that a date might end in sex. he never thinks about sex so he doesnt see the correlation

morpheus (the sandman) - demisexual, biromantic

in canon hes only ever had kids/had sex with people he had to go through actual emotional turmoil to get to

also like aro-spec probs demiromantic bc it takes him several centuries to realise he likes hob (centennial husbands is cannon idc)

man is obviously a hopeless romantic which is why the existence of any of his exes plummets him into misery, which means hed see sex as an act of romance not lust. demisexual. bc i said so.

johnny c (johnny the homicidal maniac) - asexual, greyromantic

this man feels vague romantic attraction once in his whole source material and is so befuddled he tries to murder the bitch, ruining any chance he had with her because he made her agoraphobic

he HATES bodily fluids. sex repulsed. he doesnt wanna see ur jizz.

bro has no time for sex. bros gotta feed a wall.

five hargreeves (the umbrella academy) - asexual, aromantic

blud dated a mannequin. he does not understand relationships. because he doesnt want one!

dolores was simply a projection of the fact that romance is supposed to make you feel whole or whatever and he went crazy while living alone in the apocalypse

and hes so fucking autistic so he got really attached to the object bc that what the tism does to a man

thats all for now. goodnight tumblr.

[cringelordofchaos]

Disability + Queer headcanons for some South Park characters i like

(warning: u might not agree w everything i have to say !!! :shocked emoji:)

(also sorry if im inconsistent w some characters pronouns ill probably refer to a character with their canon pronouns in the show and then when i remember trans hcs of said characterr suddenly ill refer to the w different pronouns)

Craig Tucker

- gay (no fucking shit sherlock)

- level 1 autistic, low empathy, difficulties communicating and understanding emotions, yada yada u get the gist

- some form of anxiety? idk probs not to a disordered amount but its there.

Kenny McCormick

- Chronic pain (everywhere)

- Epilepsy

- dude LITERALLY got a seizure from simply playing a video game (in thepokemon episode) this dudes physical health is so bad prolly cuz his constant deaths still leave an impact on him even after he gets revived?

- autism !? (idk im not 100% sure just yet)

- selectively mute

- probably some form of (complex?) PTSD from the constant traumatizing deaths he endures though again like im not sure

- but yyeah ok i just remembered thispost is about disability AND queer hcs so uhm kenny. I like the genderqueer hcs but he could also just be really gnc and i love that for him too. either way likes women a lot and i cant exactly imagine him liking a dude? like idk maybe but nah i dont see it

Tweek Tweak

- im sorry but i personally dont view him as having adhd cuz his parents tell others hes hyperactive bc of it but really its because they keep drugging the fucking eight year old so idk. like idk he could possibly have it but i cant decipher cuz we dont know what tweek would be like if he wasnt drugged and a coffee addict at such a young age. and causes of symptoms matter

- but yeah he def has GAD and panic disorder bc of the drugged coffee

- oh also gay

eric cartman

- NPD (i know hes a really stereotypical and harmful portrayal of it and there should be better representation of it but theres no way he doesnt have it im sorry)

- sexuality and gender are whatever benefits him at the moment

(ok but if ur actually wondering abt my hc hes probably gay)(in extreme denial obviously though)

Butters Stotch

- has some form of disorder related to trauma and if he doesnt hell get one when he grows up because like dudes been through SOME FUCKING SHIT. (and he canonically falls asleep to and wakes up to the sounds of his own screams so like. uhm)

- seems like hes straight? like could be bi though idk. he DID have a crush on princess kenny though? take it as you will lmao

- SHIT i forgot about marjorine. yeah just like w kenny either genderqueer or gnc, love both hcs

- may i suggest aroace butters though

- or no sexuality butters (he doesnt have a sexuality :broke heart:)(dont aks me how that works it jst does)

Stan Marsh

- Major depressive disorder

- literal alcoholic at age 10 thats bound to mess him up for life one way or another

- canonically diagnosed with asperger's syndrome but it was his obvious depression being misdiagnosed

- bi but like only gay for specific chars. but yeah confused abt sexuality

- gender questioning too and its pretty canon as shown in 'the cissy'. though then again stans really empathetic so u could say stans confused feelings of gender identity were just being influenced by cartman and wendy recently telling the school theyre trans. idk WHICH way stans trans though and neither do they

- emo

kyle broflovski

- im gonna hes say asexual cuz of human kite's character chart thingy and also bc why not

- have got zero clue as to what his sexuality is like. im a style shipper (big surprise ik) so u might think i think he likes dudes but idk. ive never seen anyone hc him as aroace before but i think it could fit him. he does seem like he could just be cishet too. or maybe bi? ive also seen gay hcs of him. idk man i think multiple fit depending on how u interpret his character?

-

Tolkien Black

- his roleplay character chart thingy said ther character was gender neutral so im going w that hc

- likes girls (canon as shown in cartman finds love)

Bradly/Bradley (the one from the conversion therapy episode)

- gay (SHOCKER)(BIGASS SURPRISE)(

Timmy

- canon wheelchair user (whats the term again i forgor) and also intellectually disabled (but also there was one point where it was revealed he was actually a genius i think?? so maybe hes not intellectually disabled but rather he lacks the capacity to express or communicate his inner world? idk)

- timmy

thas all i got for now im too lazy to continue but yeah pls dont kill me for these

EDIT 11/JUNE/2024: forgot to say this but also kenny has more physical disabilities than listed and also Cartman is dyslexic in my hc