#im anxiety AND stupid baby
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lelianaslefthand · 11 months ago
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i think i have my karlach-mancer..... my half-orc bard goose from a defunct campaign... picrews from 2021 attached
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lovesickeros · 1 year ago
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☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 2 ]
{☆} characters furina, neuvillette {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings none {☆} word count 1.9k {☆} previous [ 1 ]
This had to be a punishment of some sort – some kind of divine punishment.
She was bored out of her mind just watching the sleeping body – she hadn't blinked once in the past five hours, her eyes were really starting to hurt. Yet they still hadn't moved so much as an inch since she sequestered them away to the only place she had known to be safe.
But it'd been almost a week since then.
The only solace she found was that Teyvat had seemed much less hellbent on collapsing in on itself like a dying star.
That counted for something.
Not much, but something!
..Even if their position was no better then it was a week ago.
There was, after all, still the issue of what to do about the false Creator – the actual imposter – and the Archons following them like blind lambs. The other Archons wouldn't listen if she tried to reason with them, and it would only risk the life of Divine One if she spoke of their location to anyone else.
She also was pretty fond of having her head still attached to her shoulders.
So she avoided them all together. Partially because she wasn't sure she wouldn't have a breakdown at the sight of them..she'd never been a fighter, and fighting an Archon? Easy pass.
Instead she was forced to babysit the sleeping Divine until they woke up while Neuvillette handled taking care of the nation and dealing with the other Archons – and by extension the false Creator.
Really though, she would almost think them dead if not for the subtle rise and fall of their chest.
Though..this also left her with a lot of time to herself. A lot of time to think.
She really didn't like it.
There wasn't a lot to occupy her mind and what little there was only distracted her for a scant few moments before her eyes drifted back to the Divine like she was locked in their orbit, unable to escape.
She closed the same book for the twelfth time – she kept count – and returned it to it's meticulously designed place within her bookcase. A low, barely audible huff of frustration escaped her lips before she could bite it down, her stare boring a hole into the body of the Divine One with a sharp intensity she rarely showed.
She was tired, bored and constantly on edge, fearing that at any moment someone would find out about their presence here.
That, at the drop of a hat, she would be powerless to stop the greatest tragedy of her time play out before her eyes.
Neuvillette would have scolded her for being so petulant, especially around the Divine One, if he were here.
But he wasn't.
He was out running her nation, instead.
And what was she doing? Nothing!
She grit her teeth, nails digging harshly into the palm of her hands as she took a deep breath – now was not the time to think about that. She had..much more pressing matters. Sulking and letting her thoughts spiral helped no one, least of all herself.
Yet her attention was caught by a harsh inhale, the rustle of fabric – were they finally waking up? She was exhausted, but it all vanished at the sudden drop of life within the otherwise deathly still body of the Divine.
Her eyes followed the subtle twitch of their fingers, watching as their brow furrowed and their features twisted in something almost like..pain.
..She wasn't ready.
What was she supposed to say?
Should she even say anything? Would that be considered impolite? Does she wait for them to speak first? Should she kneel? Bow?
She doesn't get much time to find her own answer before their lashes flutter, chest heaving with every strangled breath. Every single thought vanishes from her mind the moment she meets their eyes.
For a long, silent moment she thinks that her heart must have stopped.
Their eyes glow like the cresting of the sun over the horizon, painting the world in hues of gold – yet it also reminded her of the dipping of the moon below the waves, casting the briefest, most gentle of lights upon the world engulfed in darkness. In the depths of their eyes was the birth and death of stars in the infinite cosmos – glittering stars in a sea of empty, blank space that left her feeling lightheaded and breathless.
Beneath the splendor is a spark of recognition in their eyes so vibrant it was like a shooting star piercing through the dark night sky, leaving nothing but the wonder in the eyes of the observer as the only proof it ever existed – brilliant in it's beauty, however brief.
It is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.
"Focalors?"
The lilt of their voice nearly made her knees buckle beneath her – euphoria so consuming it left her feeling she was starving swallowed her whole, her mind blanking in a moment of utter bliss. It was..an indescribable feeling that she doubted she could ever hope to put into words – not in a way that could properly express it, try as she might.
She swallowed the words that threatened to spill from her lips – she couldn't make a fool of herself. Not in front of them of all people. She'd never forgive herself.
"Divine One," She rasps, clearing her throat and covering her mouth with a hand to mask both her nervousness and the small smile that creeps across her face. She quickly regains her composure, hand resting on her hip as she puffs out her chest with every bit of pride she can manage. "I am sure you must be confused, but worry not– your most loyal acolyte has seen the truth!"
The silence is deafening.
She opens one eye, peaking at the bewildered and almost distraught expression of the Divine.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
That..she was not prepared for. Surely they knew who they were! Surely they knew. They had to– she's been praying to them for as long as she's breathed, she's dedicated every hour of her life to living up to their ideals, they can't just–!
"Lady Furina?"
Neuvillette, thankfully, spares her the embarrassment of having a meltdown in front of the Divine, the gentle rap of his knuckles against the door making her and the Divine pause, the soft lull of his voice soothing her nerves and yet setting her on edge at the same time.
"Neuvillette." She clears her throat again, her steps hurried as she marches to the door and pries it open none too gently, a forced smile pulling at her lips. She wastes no time tugging the man into the room, shutting the door behind him with a short huff. The silence is, somehow, even worse then before as the three of them stare at each other in absolute exasperation.
Neuvillette, for his part, manages to get his act together with a sharp clearing of his throat, bowing so low even she looks unnerved. She steals a brief glance at the Divine, and she's taken aback by the uncomfortability twisting their features into a grimace.
Their expression is schooled back into one of empty apathy when he stands back to his full height, but she saw it – she knows she did! Did they not like their worship? Were they not respectful enough? For a moment, she feared the Divine would smite Neuvillette down on the spot..but they just stared at him like he was a ghost.
"Why aren't you killing me?"
The defeated, resigned tone combined with the way their voice cracks makes her heart ache in her chest – it feels as though her entire world is crumbling down at her feet, and she cannot explain why she feels such emotions so strongly, but it is suffocating. It is almost as if Teyvat itself is weeping, bearing down upon her shoulders like a heavy weight.
She feels the urge to weep herself, but she powers through, gritting her teeth long enough for Neuvillette to take his place at the side of her – though it feels more like their – bed, kneeling like he was going to pray.
"Divine One," He offers a hand with a quiet rumble of his voice, the words slipping off his tongue like honey. It's like trying to soothe a stray cat..though she'd never voice such comparisons of the most Divine out loud. "I..we mean you no harm. I swear on my authority as the Iudex of Fontaine and Chief Justice that you are safe with us."
The skepticism she expected, but the reverence in which Neuvillette must convince them – or perhaps they are simply so tired that they simply did not care any longer if it was all some ploy to drive a knife between their ribs. She didn't expect them to actually place their hand in Neuvillette's.
He didn't either, judging by the way he visibly brightened – not that they'd notice, but she did.
..Not that she could really blame him, her heels clicking against the floorboards as she shifted her weight to the other foot with a nervous energy that was practically bursting at the seams, more then a little jealous of the attention he was receiving. She was the one who found them, she was the one who stayed with them the entire time..but he gets all the attention?
How unfair.
"O-of course! We would never lay a hand on our creator," She adds, her voice a little higher pitched then she would have liked as she placed her hands on her hips, puffing out her chest and brushing off the sting of jealousy. "Least of all I– your most loyal, most devout acolyte!"
She felt baffled when she heard the sound of their laughter, her shoulders hunching and her cheeks flushing on mere instinct – she was expecting mockery, but the look in their eyes, still dulled by a pain she cannot even begin to imagine, made her hesitate.
..It was, perhaps, the most genuine thing she'd heard from them ever since before the hunt began.
She wasn't sure why her heart hurt at such an idea, but it was enthralling to see the beginnings of a half hearted smile on their lips.
For a moment, her mask of theatrics was forgotten as she stared at them in a mixture of awe and adoration– and though she didn't look at Neuvillette, she could imagine he must've shared such an expression.
Had she any doubts that they were her Creator, that they alone were the most Divine..they would wiped clean now. There was no mistaking the way the world itself seemed to grow clearer as they glanced up at her like she was worth something.
For a moment, she realized how cold the false Creators gaze had been now that she has felt warmth so gentle it almost made her knees buckle beneath her. It felt like a pale imitation, now.
Nothing could compare to the warmth that spread through her body at the mere semblance of a smile upon their lips. She didn't even mind if it was her they were laughing at anymore, she just wanted to hear them laugh again.
She'd make a fool of herself, if she had to.
She'd never felt so..ravenous for such a thing, but just the briefest glimpse was addictive.
She simply couldn't help herself from striding across the room and clasping their free hand in her own, her smile wide enough to unnerve as she leaned her weight onto the bed. For a moment, she considered pulling away at the way they startled, but her mind was made up by then – there was no going back.
"Again."
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#fic tag#neuvillette#focalors#furina#dont ask what happened here idk#this was. also supposed 2 be neuvi focused and then i.#dont talk 2 me abt focalors i wont ever shut up#got a 300k word essay on hand abt how i feel abt her character/how i interpret her personality and her story#focalors jsut like me fr fr (cries at the slightest inconvenience or the slightest mean comment)#shes so pathetic girlfail im gonna chew on her#what happens when reader gets stuck with two emotionally repressed french bastards?? hell#neuvi is the “emotionless” flavor of emotionally repressed in that hes HORRIBLE at showing emotions at all#ask him to smile and its incredibly unnerving and theres too many teeth but hes trying his best please call him pretty or he will cry :(#furina is the flavor of emotionally repressed where she makes it up by having Too Many emotions#using theatrics and masks to show everyone what they want to see but inside this girl is a MESS#constant anxiety and panic 24/7#will do random shit and look at you and if u dont compliment her she will think u hate her and cry#compliment her and she'll do even stupider shit to try and impress you more#i love my scrunkly little babies they r so stupid and mentally ill someone get these bitches some THERAPY#i want 2 put them under a microscope#watch this be ooc fr furina when more of her lore drops if shes not girlfail im leaving#anyway see u in a week im going on a trip ill get back 2 u in 6-7 business days
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bogkeep · 6 months ago
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it's been over a whole month since i had a stupid argument with my parents about driving, a skill that i legally possess but hate doing because i have a special brain illness that makes me fear death and injury, but i'm still chewing over an absurd claim that it's "equally dangerous to go on a 14 hour train ride like you just did". literally how is that more dangerous. in what way. in what world. public transport is nice and good and i like it and i don't have to enter my personal torment nexus
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unimportant-ramblings · 7 months ago
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Me all this week: I have a plan. I have told people the plan and verbal confirmed with everyone that this is indeed the plan and everyone is okay with it.
My brain now that I'm alone and the plan has been executed: you're so stupid. That wasn't the plan. The plan is a different thing. Everyone knows this. You fucked up
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the-kipsabian · 2 years ago
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im gonna complain sorry i need to get this out of my brain since ive been thinking about it recently. leaving it in the tags so you can ignore it or whatever
#i just. feel like im missing out on everything recently#everyone else is having fun with each other and their friends and im just. here for no reason#timezones fuck me over so intensely on like a daily basis and its so fucking sad like#the society is demanding me to be a responsible human being which means sleeping - and while i do that everyone else has fun#yall get to watch things together. yall get to chat about things together. yall get to do shit in real time#like im not blaming anyone for having fun good for you im glad youre enjoying yourselves and everything!!#but also i just. feel left out. and its very stupid but im stupid and so is having to sleep and i never get to do anything fun cause of it#i never get to watch stuff live. i never get to participate in anything. and when i maybe do its an anxiety situation so i have to pass#i think thats why wrestling is rn a very sore spot for me. i havent really watched anything in a while cause i feel so left out#like im always behind. and i know it shouldnt matter but when i see everyone interacting with live blogs and such and i know i cant do that#and theres no point doing that afterwards#and the only things i can reasonably live blog are things that nobody else watches or cares about and im just#mostly anyways i only put my time and effort into something that only i care about#and im not gonna lie it kinda hurts. like ofc i cant ask anyone else to care but i just feel so fucking lonely sometimes#sorry im just. not in a good spot. honestly i probably never will be cause none of this is going to change cause i cant change it#and i cant and wont ask anyone to change it cause thats not good or fair or anything to anyone#i shouldnt even post this this is so stupid and im such a stupid little baby but im just...#im so fucking lonely sometimes and i see everyone else being able to do things and have fun and enjoy themselves. without me#im so lonely and im so jealous and it just fucking sucks okay#im gonna go now. im sorry#night is an absolute mess on main
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domesticated-whores · 24 days ago
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choked so hard swallowing my drink down the wrong way that I almost puked and I'm still kinda nauseous hours later, so lol. also, friend (the mutual work friend of me and my man that actually hangs out with him outside of work) witnessed and started saying something about how some people choke on things like that bad enough that it kinda spooks them from drinking and they get dehydrated out of paranoia (no idea if that's true, sounds fake but whatever, he's one of those people yk?) and my dumb ass, full of autism and pure thoughts only, said "damn, if that were a problem I wouldn't be able to put nothing in my mouth, my gag reflex is shit 😞😞" which has probably made it's way to my man. because I'm stupid and was really woozy from coughing til I almost vomited and totally didn't think of what I was saying.
#doesnt help that a few days ago we were all hanging out smoking#and i dont get high easy with others evidently but they all have MAJOR tolerance and experience and im baby#so i feel pretty mellow and dazed pretty quick when we do anything despite them all feeling almost nothing#(even though my man is very quick to tell me when something isnt even strong so idk what everyone else ive smoked with is smoking)#(because i hardly get the slightest bit chill from it any time i smoke with anyone else usually)#(but i digress)#and so i was higher than i mayhaps should have been from what i had because again hella baby#but i heard friend say *SOMETHING* that 100% had my name and i think had the word “head” in it#in like a whisper to my man who was sitting on the couch between us#and i was like “okay im feeling kinda dazed and shit and i have hearing issues and hes very much talking so i cant hear--”#“--so i shouldnt make assumptions on what he said because im probably REALLY mishearing what i did hear lol”#but then my man kinda glanced at me and made a noise (an almost laugh??) and said “nah not yet” quiet but not as much as a whisper as friend#so i do lowk wonder if i heard right lol#and if i did thats a whole other story#because pooki cmon#babygirl get real#i sleep over there not infrequently and we cuddle hella intertwined and kiss and all#ive told him that im stupid as fuck and have anxiety so i need things EXTRA communicated with me#ive hinted at kink#ive told him that i trust him fully not to force me to do anything that i dont wanna do and that as long as hell take no for an answer--#--id have no issue with him telling me what to do more often because i again trust him and would say no if i really didnt want to#(in nonsexual situations like him asking if i wanted to go run an errend with him or wait for him at his place and such)#that i was hoping hed be more confident in making a move by now#but im acespec and in zero rush because sex is take it or leave it to me#id do it for him and i really do want to but its so not a need or even much of a craving#but i might bring it up eventually if he doesnt because he is so sweet and cute and i think he just doesnt wanna assume#because he had to be told that its okay to kiss me and that he can and should talk to me at work like a normal person#so i deadass think he just doesnt want to force me into anything but is also bad at communicating so he doesnt really ask either#its just funny that i think they were talking about me giving head a few days ago and i choked and said something stupid today tho#whores lovesick musings
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bunnyb34r · 1 month ago
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Cool cool cool
So DogCousin showed up early w/o her mom and the garage guy can't come out til tomorrow but didn't like call or anything. Mom had to call the guy bc he would be 2 hours late atm right? His fucking brother died last friday and they're behind on the funeral arrangements and work orders... um why wouldn't you tell any new clients "hey I'm sorry we don't have any open appointments until at least next week."
But like my god my dude this can fucking wait! We told you it wasn't an emergency!!
I don't wanna ask him but I wonder if it was the guy he came with last time....
Anyway they left, guy is rescheduled, and god I hate talking to my cousin. Mom is like very aware of it today just how... socially inept my cousin is sgdgdgd like how despite her being an extrovert, she at least with ME has no social grace/awareness and it's like yeah see I told you they (the older grandkids) hated us/me especially so... 😒
#marquilla#mom was like well why would they want to hang out with me and not YOU?? well mom they knew you up to ten years before i showed up so they#still wanted to hang out with their fun aunt and not their socially anxious separation anxiety & autistic younger cousin. that's why#like it's hard to explain just how much the older cousins hated us younger cousins like once we were no longer cute babies. like they hated#us. they hated C. bc he was the 2nd boy born (out of like 6 previous girls) and isn't blood related. hated cousin i disowned bc she was a#freak. hated me bc i was mentally ill & autistic. didnt see E and A past them being 5 and 7 bc they moved states. and P. was always quiet#and hated them fussing on her and stuck with me the one person that didnt fuss over her (bc i didnt like her when she was born lmaoo we#were fine once she was like 6 or so) like um yeah they were a clique bc it was 4 sisters. AID's 2 Kids. and DogCousin. thats 7 kids. they#had their own established group by the time the second half was born even if there was only a 3 year difference between the last one of#Group 1. and group 2. so.... we were just unwanted extras by that point :/#like the disdain for us lmaooo like they all called grandpa 'Papa' and we all called him 'Grandpa' bc like in our minds why tf would we call#him that?? thats (to us) stupid he's our GRANDPA not our dad?? agdgdggdgd#i think at most there's a 10 year gap between the oldest of that group and the oldest in our half. so it's not unbelievable that they didnt#want to hang out with us but god was that divid palpable#ANYWAYS im gonna go eat dggdgdgdgd
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deerdollhouse · 6 months ago
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I want to change up my blog but I'm scared of change
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omri-kilah · 9 months ago
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aduh0308 · 2 months ago
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stupid fucking parents [choi beomgyu]
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kinktober 2024 !! summary: if you'd never met him, this would be a lot easier. granted, if you never met him, this wouldn't be a problem in the first place. genre: smut, non!idol au, p with little to no plot warnings: stepcest,:stepbrother!beomgyu, perv!gyu, rich!gyu, he’s a year older, sub!gyu, mean dom!reader, dom!gyu, sub!reader, he uses your soap, mommy kink, mommy kink in a condescending way, praise kink, dacryphilia, voyeurism, degradation, exhibitionism, slight spit kink, big dick gyu, handjob, blowjob, titjob, readers tits are big enough to give said titjob, nipple play (on both), he’s got sensitive nipples, sending nudes, lots of smut, masturbation, fingering, vaginal penetration, unprotected sex (pull out method), creampie, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, mentions of cunnilingus, beomgyu refers to himself as ‘gyu’, reader calls him 'dumb pup', 'slut' 'whore', 'pet', 'good boy’, ‘pretty boy’, ‘gyu’, and ‘pretty’, beomgyu calls reader ‘pretty girl’, ‘baby’, ‘darling’ and ‘good girl’, mentions of anxiety and depression, he’s lowkey sleazy for 100 words (he fucks someone else), she hits him in the face once and he gets turned on by it, she sucks on his Adams apple for half a second (real), y/m/n is your moms name, and b/d/n is beomgyus dads name bc idk what im doing, take a shot every time I use the word ‘fuck’ (hint: its more than 50) word count: 7.3k 🎧 — rubberband (tate mcrae) + lovers in the night (seori) + the killa (txt)
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the holy matrimony of Ms. y/l/n and Mr. Choi."...
"Fuck, look at you, fucking me like some animal, aren't you?"
"Do you, y/m/n y/l/n, take b/d/n choi, in sickness and in health, through prosperity and through hardship..."
"Dumb pup, can only think with your dick, can't you?"
"I do."
"C-can't, feels so good, gon' cum, pl-please!"
"Do you, b/d/n choi, take y/m/n y/l/n,  in sickness and in health, through prosperity and through hardship..."
"Go ahead, cum like the whore you are..."
"I do."
"Don't make a mess of me, though, can't let everyone out there know i'm fucking my soon-to-be step brother..."
"You may now kiss the bride."
"N-not my fault, fucked you—ah! B-before they even got together..!"
You snap out of your mind's replay of the day’s prior events, eyes on the ground, even as your mom and Beomgyu's dad share their first kiss as husband and wife. You feel eyes on you and look up— it's him, of course it is. And fuck, does he look good. Suit and red tie, brown hair laying just perfectly, you can feel exactly what possessed you to ruin him this morning.
But you can't anymore.
And that's what pisses you off, because Beomgyu was yours before your parents even laid eyes on each other.
That's how they met, actually. You'd been over at his house, dad gone at work, so you two could get up to exactly what you wanted to. Laying on his couch afterwards, his dad had come home, and your mom stopped by to pick you up— she'd dropped you off on her way to work since your car was in the shop.
And it was love at first sight. You couldn't pretend like it wasn't, you saw the way they looked at each other. You just hadn't expected it to escalate to this. Walking back down the aisle together with everyone standing to clap, you can barely keep your eyes on them.
You're crying, but not in happiness. It's selfish, you know. You've seen how happy your mom is nowadays. And she deserves it. But you can't help but feel like you've lost something.
You and Beomgyu are last to leave the altar, following the other groomsmen and bridesmaids into the wedding hall for the afterparty. He tries to grab your arm, but you shake your head at him. You can't do this anymore. It's for real now.
The look on his face is pure hurt and you know it, only heading to sit next to your mother at the dinner table. Soon, you're sucked into conversation with one of her cousins, mind completely off of Beomgyu and your lack of conscience when it comes to him.
After dinner, however, it's time for the first dances of the night. Bride and groom, bride and her father, groom and his mother, and then, your mother's genius idea, a dance for the groom's son and the bride's daughter. Which you'd forgotten all about, until the mc of the night, one of Beomgyu's relatives, calls the both of you up.
You swallow when Beomgyu's hand rests itself on your waist. So gently you almost shiver, he pulls you closer until you're pressed against him in waltzing position. The music is slow, soft, but speeds up until the two of you are just spinning in circles, identical wide grins on your faces.
The song ends with him dipping you, and you come up with an elated grin. That is, until you realize your predicament. You step away from him with a soft smile but a pointed look, and he only nods. He grips your wrist in a hand. Dropping his lips to your ear, he whispers, "Leave early with me? I want to show you around the house."
Right. You'd forgotten that Beomgyu's (significantly larger) house was now yours. God, you have no idea how you’re going to be able to handle this.
You only nod, let him know you'll be ready in an hour, and join the dance floor once more with the rest of your mom's family.
The hour flies by with you teaching multiple line dances to Beomgyu's family, including Cotton Eye Joe and the Wobble, and by the time it's time to leave, you're flushed and breathless. Giggling and taking his hand, you're led to his car.
"Are you wasted?" Beomgyu laughs, helping you in before climbing into the driver's seat.
"No! Didn't drink anything but the kid's lemonade." You flinch when his hand meets your thigh out of habit. Getting the message, he lets it drop to the center console instead.
"Your things are already in your room," he tells you when he pulls into the driveway.
"And where's my room?"
"Across from mine."
You don't have to ask where his room is. You've been in it enough times in the past 3 years to have memorized exactly how many steps it takes to reach it from the front door.
"Alright, sounds good."
Beomgyu opens the front door for you and ushers you in. He opens every door for you to help you find your way around as well. You soon learn that there are 4 bathrooms, 5 bedrooms, a game room, a living room, 2 dining rooms (a formal one and an informal one), a kitchen, and too many closets to count.
When he opens the door to your bedroom, you smile at the coziness of it all. Your things have been put up in an almost identical fashion to how they were in your old room. And there was only one person in this house that knew your room well enough to be able to recreate it to this level of detail.
"Did you do this?" You whisper, turning to him with a look of incredulity.
Beomgyu nods, a small smile pulling at his lips. He flicks the hair out of his face with his pinky, a small habit you've noticed since day one. "Do you like it? I tried my best to do what I remembered, but some things might not be how you're used to..."
"I love it, Gyu, it's perfect." You flop backwards into your new bed, skirt piling around you. Beomgyu slides beside you when you pat the bed—  this might not be the best idea, but right now, you can't think of anything else you’d rather do.
He's taken off his suit jacket, left only in the vest and white shirt and tie, and he looks so good and desirable that you have to close your eyes. He's warm against you, body taut with muscle, and against your better judgment, when Beomgyu's lips meet yours, you don't resist.
He pulls you up and into his room across the hall, dragging you back down with him onto his own bed.
"Gyu, we shouldn't, you're my stepbrother now..." The word leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth, but he shakes his head with a pout.
"Please, need you..." His hands grip the hem of your dress, pulling you closer by your hips, into his lap. You're protesting the whole time, pressing kisses to his lips either way. And oh, the way his whines are so pretty when you slide his dress pants to his ankles make it all worth it.
Tugging at his dick with a scoff, you spit on it once. "What a desperate little slut, wanting to fuck me the night our parents get married, wasn't enough for you this morning, was it?"
Beomgyu shakes his head quickly, tears already beading in his eyes. "N-no, always need more, need you so bad it hurts..."
"Yeah? Gyu needs his dick wet every second of the day, doesn't he? Always such a mess."
He's nothing less than a mess now, drool leaking out the corner of his mouth, wetting the pillow beneath his head. There's a sheen of sweat glossing his face and he writhes beneath you when you squeeze the base of his dick. "P— please, 'm gonna, gon' cum if you don't stop, stop, please, wan' be able to fuck you!" he begs, gripping your wrist in a hand.
"You can't fuck me if you cum now?" He nods, little sniffles leaving his lips. "How pathetic, can't even last a few minutes, what a fucking loser."
"Please, can't— ngh— just wanna get you 'round me, please, n/n..."
His voice is low, breathless and a little choked, and you finally give in. Beomgyu's chest shakes up and down while he watches you slip your dress over your head, exposing the blue lace bra you'd put on this morning. You don't even bother taking it off, nor your underwear, simply sliding your panties to the side to rub his dick against your soaked cunt.
As soon as your dripping walls suck him in, he's a goner, head rocked back into the pillows and hips twitching up to yours pitifully. Shifting your weight down against him only once, he's got tears running down his cheeks. This isn't unusual— there's a reason you always top him. As soon as the boy gets his dick wet, he's gone, off to another planet or some shit.
"Won't you open your eyes, want you to look at me while your dick's inside me, you're not that much of a whore that you can't keep your eyes open, are you?" you hiss, grabbing his chin in your hand.
Beomgyu nods with a weak look, eyes trained on your tits, and he's pulling the lace down with his fingertips. You grip his chin harder, looking down at him with a glare. "Don't you dare, take it off properly if you want it off. This was 60 dollars, I'm not letting a dumb pup like you ruin it."
His fingers fumble at your back, desperate to see you but unsure of where the hook is. A low moan leaves his lips when he finally gets it off, taking your tit in his mouth almost immediately. Swirling his tongue around it, you grab a fistful of his hair, shoving your hips towards his again.
You're lucky that he's big, big enough to hit all the right spots inside you without you having to do much, because the look on his face tells you that he's not capable of anything other than sucking on your breast. And despite all your words, you're not very capable of anything other than fucking yourself down against him.
Beomgyu's eyes are practically rolled back into his head when you look down at him again. The sight is funny, even if it causes something to twist in your stomach. The way this pretty boy can't even make the proper faces once his dick's in your cunt.
“You’re so fucking disgusting, don’t you now? Fucking me when you’re like this?” you hiss, gripping his hair in your hands.
 “’m sorry, 'm so sorry, i know, know 's gross but I can’t!”
His eyes fly open to meet yours in a panic when your fingertips pinch at the pink of his nipple. "D-don't, m-mommy, gon—gonna cum, y'know I can't take it, t' sensitive, please..."
You do know. And that alone is why you toy with him more, rubbing over the puffy bud while he squirms under you. "Don't you dare cum inside me, you hear? Don't want a dirty pup's cum inside me."
He nods frantically, eyes red and glazed with his tears, and he weakly tugs his dick from your cunt. You wrap your hand around yours to jerk him off until he reaches his peak, white cum painting your stomach in ropes.
"N-no, don't, what are you doing, c-can't!" Beomgyu lets out a choked noise when you roll your hips back towards his.
"Shut up, you can, gotta make me cum too, remember? Cause you're such a good boy, aren't you?" He nods fast, and you lower your torso to his to press a consoling kiss to his lips. They're bitten red, swollen from the constant tug of his teeth, and the familiar desperation he retaliates with makes you smile. Pulling back once more, you watch his hips twitch up to yours. "See? Told you you're a good boy, making me feel so good..."
"S' glad, let me touch, please?" He's slurring his words now, hand running through the soft brown of his hair.
"Go ahead, jus' this once, cause you're being so good..."
Beomgyu's eyes light up immediately, and his hand flies to your swollen clit without hesitation. Rubbing in circles, you have to admit, he's always been good at this. Even though he's sloppy with his movements, direct stimulation making you hiss through your teeth, he's still expert in the way he plays with your clit.
"Fuck, Gyu, gon' make me cum if you keep up with that, don't stop, will you?"
He nods, though you can tell the way your walls flutter around his dick is making his brain go fuzzy. "Can make you, 'm a good boy, gon' make you feel s' good.."
His hips grind up against yours with one particularly rough motion, and you're gone, form shaking above his.
"Doing so good, mommy, so pretty..." Beomgyu coos, spare hand resting on your cheek.
You roll onto your back next to him, chest heaving, and a wave of guilt hits you when you realize just what you've done. You fucked your stepbrother. On the day of your parents' wedding.
You sit abruptly and gather your things. "Goodnight, Gyu."
He pouts at you, dick pressed flush to his stomach, and you have to avoid looking at him. "Stay? Please?"
"No. I'm going to my room. Goodnight, Beomgyu."
And without a backwards glance, you step through the threshold of his doorway and promise you'll never be back in to answer his request.
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
And you weren’t even considering it, not even thinking about it until weeks later, when your parents decided to watch a family movie before they leave on their honeymoon.
Your parents on the couch across from you, Beomgyu sits next to you on the “loveseat” in your living room. You’d never heard of such a thing as a loveseat until you moved into the Choi house– it must be a rich person thing. But the chair was just big enough for two people, sitting side by side, to have about four inches of room between them.
Not exactly the situation you want to put yourself in. 
You can feel the heat radiating off of him, and it only gets worse when he tugs a blanket over the two of you and hooks one of his legs around yours.  He’s in basketball shorts, and the feeling of his skin on yours is not something you want to be feeling right now. Shooting a warning look his way before scooting as close to the armrest as you can, you try your hardest to tamp down all the memories of things you’ve done with him.
But it’s hard when he slides closer to you again, side pressed flush to yours. 
“You’re all up on me, pet, I swear to god…” you whisper. 
This was the only nickname you’d kept up with since you cut him off. Your parents were innocent enough to think that it was a cute thing– your mom had even commented on it, “You calling him pet is so cute, I’m glad the two of you are still getting along when you’re living together.”
But Beomgyu knew that it wasn’t.
His breath catches in his throat the moment the name slips from your lips, and his hand grips yours under the sheets. “I’m cold, warm me up, please?”
You relent with a sigh. A small smile twitches the corners of your lips when he nuzzles against your body, and your focus finally turns back to the movie. 
It was one of your mom’s favorites, one from the year you were born called “A Walk to Remember.” It was a sad movie– you knew the whole time the girl was going to die eventually, which made it hard to enjoy the film itself.
Good thing it was sad, though, when Beomgyu coaxes your hand down the waistband of his pants. Because he’s panting, sniffling in your ear while your fist slides up and down his dick, and his father comments on how funny it was that Beomgyu’s crying so badly at this movie.
You only laugh, looking at Beomgyu with a twinkle in your eyes. “Had no idea you were so sensitive, Gyu.” His eyes are tear-filled when he looks up at you, a little squeak leaving his lips when you thumb over his tip.
“N-not my fault, she’s gonna die, it’s sad!”
Good lord, you could praise this boys acting skills right now. Beomgyu’s trembling against you, tears slipping down his cheeks so shamelessly. Your mom tosses you a box of tissues. You catch it and take two— one for his tears, and one to wipe up the cum that’s streaking his tummy in white.
You tuck the second tissue under the blanket to clean him up while Beomgyu catches his breath. His chest is heaving, up and down, and when your palm accidentally grazes his already re-hardening dick, he sucks in a breath so sharp he starts coughing.
“I—I’m okay, I swear,” he chokes out, and you rub his back, trying your hardest not to laugh. 
“You know,” your mom says when the movie finishes, all four of you in tears. “I’m really glad we can have moments like this, as a family, even though the two of you are all grown up.”
You manage a weak smile at her. You agree with everything in that sentence— except the family part. You go to say something, but a warm hand on your thigh turns your attention once more to the brown-haired boy beside you.
“Wanna come play with me?” He asks, lips pulled into a pout. If he were asking this a month ago, you would’ve agreed, no hesitation. You know exactly what his idea of “playing” entails. 
But now, in your current situation, you shake your head. “I’ve got homework to do for my class on Monday. Maybe next time.”
You leave the room in a silent stupor, mulling over the thoughts in your head. God, you’re so stupid. How could you fall for him like that again? You promised yourself to leave him alone, and look, here you are, all self-respect gone the moment his body touched yours. 
You need to distance yourself from him again. You can’t fucking do this, any and every choice you make regarding him is going to hurt both of you, and your parents. 
So you vow to yourself that you’ll never have to be in a situation like that with him again. Because you can only assume, with your parents leaving for two weeks, that Beomgyu’s going to pull something like this again.
By then, you hope you’re able to say no.
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
Once your parents leave, you find ways to keep yourself busy all day long, only coming home once you know Beomgyu is asleep in bed. You can’t risk being in the vicinity of him— you don’t have enough self control for that, and you know it.
But your friends cancel plans the morning of your sixth day home alone, leaving you to fend for yourself.
Beomgyu’s in the kitchen making coffee when you wake up. He’s in a pair of grey sweats and a regular black t-shirt, but the simple pairing sets off the glow of his honey-gold skin and you have to take a moment to catch your breath,
“Good morning,” you say, opening the fridge to grab a quick snack. 
“Morning,” he hums in response, not turning to look at you.
If he had, he would’ve noticed the way your jaw fell slack, cheeks going hot purely at the sound of his voice. At least half an octave deeper than his regular speaking tone, his morning voice had your stomach twisting the way it used to when he touched you.
“Coffee?” Beomgyu asks, finally looking your way. You can see him mentally making note of your state— hair a little disheveled, long shirt hanging to your mid-thigh, tiny shorts not even peeking past the hem.
“Sure,” you manage, taking a bite of the protein bar you found in the fridge. It’s cold, and you almost break a tooth on it, but it’s better than nothing.
Beomgyu grabs your favorite mug from the cabinet, pouring in just the right ratio of cream, sugar, and coffee. You take it, fearing you’re unable to hide your surprise. He catches your eye and a small smile peeks through the otherwise stony expression on his face. “You think I’d forget how you take your coffee after three years?”
You sip your drink to hide your smile. “Of course not.”
Over the scent of your coffee, you catch another, familiar smell. Not the smell of Beomgyu— that you remember all too well. But the smell of your body wash, coming from the boy right next to you. 
“Did you use my soap?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed. You watch Beomgyu’s body language closely; he’s turning back away from you, shoulders hunched, fidgeting with the silver ring on his finger.
“N— Yeah, I did, mine was out..” He mumbles, running his hand through his hair.
“Oh.”
That’s not the truth, you can tell, but you don’t push, and Beomgyu quickly changes the subject. “I’m having someone over later, just so you know. If you’re here.”
“My friends ditched me, so I’ll be here.” You smile wryly. “Thanks for the head’s up.”
“Of course.”
The two of you stand there in awkward silence for a moment. The only noise comes from the sipping of your coffee, and the slight hum of the air conditioner pumping out cold air.
“I… I’ll be in my room.” You say. Beomgyu nods, looking down at his phone as if he couldn’t care less.
Chewing your lip while you walk back to your bedroom, you flop on your bed. Why would he lie to you about using your soap? It’s not like you’d be mad at all. It’s entirely fine, you’ve used his soap before. Of course, that was for completely different reasons… 
Wait.
That couldn’t be it at all. He’s not that perverted, is he? To use your soap to jerk off? It’d certainly explain his behavior…
You take a deep breath to clear your thoughts. No, you are not going to think about Beomgyu jerking off with your soap. But the mental image won’t leave you, and before you can even realize what you’re doing, you’re sliding your shorts off your hips and slipping your middle finger between your folds. It brushes your clit— oh, fuck, you haven’t done this in weeks, not since the wedding, and your poor, desperate clit can barely even handle the slight stimulation from your fingertip. 
Your knees knock together the second the middle finger of your non-dominant hand presses against your awaiting hole, slick already spreading through the thin material of the underwear you’re wearing. The pressure in your abdomen never ceases when you nestle your middle and ring finger entirely between your fluttering walls.
“F—fuck,” you breathe, rolling your hips towards your fingers. Images of Beomgyu are running through your mind with every circle of your finger around your clit— Beomgyu between your legs, tongue on your clit, fuck, he always loved that… Beomgyu with his dick pressed flush to his tummy, whining and pleading for you to touch him, tip leaking precum and making him all a mess…
You’re cumming in seconds at the memory of how he’d whimper under your touch, his pretty brown eyes swimming with tears. Mouth dropped open in silent pleas, you chase your high until your body aches for a break. You rest against the cold of your bedsheets to catch your breath. 
Settling down with a book, you forget almost entirely what Beomgyu’d said about bringing someone over, until it was almost 4 in the afternoon.
Downstairs, the front door opens. Voices from the living room travel perfectly up to your awaiting ears, and you find yourself pressing your lips together in frustration. Beomgyu didn’t mention that the person he was bringing over was a girl.
“Is anyone home?” You can hear her ask, a sickeningly sweet smile lacing her question.
“Just my stepsister.”
And just like that, you’re reduced to nothing but a single word. His stepsister. Like you weren’t his sole reason for existence for the past three years. Who did he go to when he was spiraling at night, who did he call up at four in the morning because he knew she’d always answer? That was you. Not whoever this other girl was.
“Oh, good. She won’t mind, will she?”
“Of course not. Especially if you can stay quiet.”
You can practically hear the wink in his voice, and it makes your skin crawl. Is he gonna have sex with her? He wouldn’t dare, not with you in the house.
Right?
“We’ll have to see how good you are, then..~”
“Trust me, baby, I’ll show you a good time.”
You shove your earbuds in your ear and blast the most hype music you can, 2010s dance-pop type beats, trying your hardest to drown out anything else that comes from their lips. You can still hear the door to the room across from you slam shut—can still hear the girls forced pornographic moans. Where the hell did he even find this girl?
After an hour and a half, you’re convinced she must be gone, and you pad down carpeted stairs to make yourself a sandwich. Just in case, music is still playing as loud as possible through your earbuds.
As you slice your sandwich in half, ready to go back to the safety of your room, Beomgyu’s door opens a crack and a lithe figure slips from it. You have to assume it’s the girl you heard before— she’s about your height, wearing a crop top, short shorts, and she’s got mascara running down her cheeks. Damn. He must’ve managed to do her good, then. How come he never pulled that out with you?
She catches sight of you. “Oh, you must be the stepsister?”
You nod, and she smiles, running a hand through her hair. “I hope we weren’t too loud. I’d hate to disturb you.”
“No, no.” You’re quick to assure her that everything is alright. “I’ve had music playing the whole time.”
“Okay, good. Well, I’ll be off now. It’s nice meeting you!”
“Nice meeting you too!” You call after her retreating form. With a huff, you settle down on your mattress once more, taking a bite of your sandwich.
There’s a knock at your door. “Yes?”
Beomgyu pokes his head in. “Wanna play?”
Your mouth falls open at his pure audacity to come in here and ask you that after fucking another girl. “No, I do not.”
“Why not?” There he goes with that fucking pout again, the one he knows gets you to snap.
“Why not? Because you just fucked someone else, and I don’t feel like fucking someone’s sloppy seconds. Plus, I’d probably get an STD of some sort from you.”
“Please?”
He’s sitting at the edge of your bed by now, and you reach to grab his chin. “I said no, pet.”
“See, you’re saying no, but you’re acting all fem-dom and calling me pet, which makes me think that you really do want to fuck me.” Beomgyu gives you a singular shit-eating grin, and you slap him in the face. Hard.
“You’re such a whore, Beomgyu, god! Why the hell do you think I’d want to fuck you?? You already got your dick wet once today, is that not enough for you?”
He rubs his cheek with a shocked, wide-eyed expression. Your gaze drops to his crotch— there’s a very obvious tent there, and you raise your eyebrows in disgust. “You’re getting turned on by this?! You’re fucking disgusting!” You exclaim. “Get out!”
“Fine, whatever,” he mumbles under his breath, slinking out of your door and back into his bedroom.
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
Over the course of the next week, you don’t see Beomgyu out of his room once. You can hear him, though. Good lord, can you hear him. This house makes you finally realize what “thin walls” actually means— and every night, you can hear perfectly how he’s whining, whimpering as he gets himself off, gasps of your name the only semi-intelligible sounds that leave his lips.
The past two days, he’s even resorted to leaving his door open all day long. Best be sure you’ve seen him changing one too many times, and you’ve made sure to be quiet playing with yourself after.
Scrolling on your phone mindlessly, three texts come through simultaneously. Two from you and your friends’ group chat, and one from Beomgyu. The latter is an image, which is already suspicious in itself, but, against your better judgment, you find yourself opening it. A small noise of surprise leaves your parted lips when you do.
The image is blurry, but you can make out the subject easily— Beomgyu, laying back in bed, face-fucked, drool leaking down his chin, all while he holds his dick in one limp hand.
You you’re such a pervert
Gyu <3
don’t yiu lije ir?
You
are you seriously jerking off right now?
Gyu <3
Sent a video
You
it was a simple yes or no question you didn’t have to send a video to answer
Gyu <3
aswers yws mpmmy
cime plsy pls?
You
if you can’t even type out a simple message how am I supposed to believe you’ll fuck me good?
Gyu <3
plsplspls neesd yoi sp bsd :()((
You
fine. just this once.
You both knew you were lying.
You peek through the crack in his door, and lord, he’s a sight to behold. Pretty throat on full display with his head rocked back, he’s sliding his hand up and down his dick, small whimpers leaving his lips.
“Knock knock,” you whisper, breathless.
Beomgyu’s glossy eyes light up when he sees you in the doorway. “Come in, please mommy?”
“Does my pretty boy need help?” You coo, easily slipping into your old dynamic. It’s familiar, comfortable, so much so that you can almost entirely ignore the guilt pooling in your stomach. 
“Please, hurts so bad,” he whimpers, and when you finally take a moment to look at him fully, you believe it.
His dick looks painfully hard, tip red and leaking precum all over the soft skin of his tummy. “I bet… awh, pup, why didn’t you call me in sooner?”
Lips pulled in a pout, he says, “You got s’ mad last time, didn’t want you to say no.”
“Wouldn’t, not when you’re like this…” You wrap a gentle hand around his dick, and he sucks in a sharp breath. “You’re extra sensitive today, aren’t you, pretty?” 
He nods quickly. “Been like this all day, ‘m so sorry…”
You settle between his legs with a smile. Nosing along the inside of his thigh, you look up at him, eyes narrowed. “Did you use my soap again?”
Beomgyu’s cheeks flush an endearing shade of pink. “Tha’s what got me like this in the first place, only wanted to jerk off smelling like you, but then I couldn’t forget how you feel ‘gainst me, so pretty and soft…” His eyes shut when you slowly run your hand up the length of him.
“Don’t worry, mommy’s got you now, gon’ take such good care of you..~”
His sheets are soft, cool to the touch, and soon there’s a wet spot on them from the way your saliva slides down his dick. You hollow your cheeks around him as you welcome the familiar taste— this isn’t anything you haven’t done before together. Your nose rests against his pelvis and Beomgyu squirms under your touch. His knuckles are white from gripping the blanket. It’s almost cute, the way he’s such a mess already, tongue lolled out of his mouth like a dog. 
His hips twitch up to your mouth and you gag on him once, pressing them back down to the mattress. “Don’t move, pretty, let me make you feel good.”
Beomgyu nods again, almost frantically, looking down at you with a wide-eyed look that makes you throb. “F-feels s’ good, mommy, not gonna be able to last, I-I’m sorry…”
You only hum around the girth of him, reaching up to pull at his nipple, rolling the bud between your fingers, and you feel him twitch in your mouth. “Wait, mommy, w-wanna, fuck, wanna cum on your tits, please?”
“I’ve got a better idea…” Shifting so your face is almost parallel to his chest, you hike your shirt up and press your tits together around the base of his dick. A single choked sound falls from his lips and he fucks up towards your tits with a desperation he’s never fucked your cunt with in all your years together. You lick over his tip every time it peeks through your tits, and soon, he’s got tears rolling down his cheeks. 
“Mommy, so close, please let me, wan’ cum, please please please!” His hand flies to your hair, gripping it so hard your scalp twinges.
“Go ahead, pup, you deserve it…”
The pretty boy underneath you lets out a pathetic whine, and rope after rope of warm cum paints your tits in white. Beomgyu pants underneath your touch— you stroke his cheek consolingly, pressing kisses up the line of his neck. You can feel his heart beat running faster and faster when you lick up his Adam’s apple, sucking a purpling hickey onto it.
“You alright, pet?” You hum, and he only nods again.
“Mommy?”
“Yes, Gyu?”
“Can I try topping you?”
His tone is sincere and you could curse yourself for the noise of surprise that slips past the restraint of your lips. Beomgyu looks away, tears filling his waterline again. “Nevermind, ’s stupid, just thought I’d ask, been thinking about it…”
“No, no, Gyu, of course you can, I was just surprised.. We’ve never, you know? Not once in all the years… But yes, go ahead, fuck, at least try.” You rush to reassure him, and his eyes go wide.
“Fuck, are you being serious?” He runs a hand through his hair, sitting up, and you sit back on your heels.
“Yes, I’m being serious if you are.”
“Okay, fuck, alright, I didn’t expect you to say yes…” He seems unsure of what to do with himself, and you slide up the bed until your head is against the headboard, then tug him onto you by his wrist.
“C’mon, pretty, don’t tell me you’re gonna chicken out?” You smile, and his eyes fill with an emotion you’ve never seen before in him.
Beomgyu kisses you so hard that it catches you off guard, and you smile when his tongue meets yours. He’s doing well so far, actually.
He pushes your thighs apart, yanking your shorts and panties down and off, slotting himself between your legs to rub three fingers against your clit. An embarrassing mewl of a noise leaves you the moment he makes contact with your swollen bud. You can’t pretend you don’t notice the cocky smirk that stretches itself over his features. “Pretty girl’s already whining for me, what happened, mommy?”
Two long, slender fingers slip to rest between your gummy walls, and Beomgyu’s eyes blow out wide. “Fuck, you’re soaked, you’re not usually like this, are you?”
You shake your head, unable to speak when he curls his fingers in towards your stomach at a pace so fast it sends goosebumps up and down your body. “N-no, you know that, don’t know why it’s different…”
He bites his lip in a smile, fingers jackhammering into you. His free hand pushes your thighs back apart when your knees jolt together. “Don’t tell me you’re into this, are you, baby?”
“Fuck, shut up, Gyu, will you please fuck me?”
“Not with that attitude, baby, not gonna fuck ungrateful brats.”
That makes you shut your mouth. Beomgyu grins down at you again, and the look on his face makes you want to smack him. But you stay quiet, until his other hand finds your clit and you’re cumming around him with a squeak. Beomgyu pulls his fingers out of you with a smug smile, licking them clean, then kisses you again, hiking your shirt up and over your cum-stained tits. 
“Clothes off, darling,” he coos in your ear, catching your earlobe between his teeth.
You slip the shirt off the rest of the way, and Beomgyu narrows his eyes, tongue between his teeth as he looks you up and down. “Fuck, you’re so pretty…”
“Gyu…” you whisper, and his gaze rests on yours. “Please?”
“You’re asking so nicely… might as well, think I can cum inside this time?”
“If you can actually top me without turning into a mess the second you get your dick inside, you can do whatever the fuck you want.” 
And you mean it. It’s not like you haven’t thought about him as a dom— the thought’s ran through your head almost every day since the first time you fucked him. It just hadn’t occurred to you that it was possible for him. He’s consistently a, for lack of a better word, pathetic sub, whining and panting the moment you touch him. Even if he’d decided to be extra bratty, he’d still lose it all the minute your skin is on his.
So this new change is definitely not unwelcome.
“Sounds good, mommy.”
Tip pressed to your dripping cunt, he rocks his hips forward til he’s all the way inside you. You sigh in relief, fitted perfectly. Beomgyu’s always fits inside you like a missing puzzle piece, like he was made to stay here, between your legs.
“Feel so good ‘round me, baby, always taking me so good… I’ve fucked this pretty pussy into being shaped just for me, haven’t I?” He rests his forehead against yours, pressing a light kiss to your lips before pulling back to rut his pelvis towards your thighs.
Every drag of his cock along your walls sends ecstasy rolling up your limbs. Fuck, thank god he’s good with his hips. The fact that he’s managing more than the measly twitches of his hips you’re used to is impressive in itself, but he’s even better than that, and the pure pleasure settling in your lower stomach is enough to have fresh tears sliding off your cheeks and onto his pillowcase.
“Gyu, fuck, need more, f— oh fuck— faster, please?” You mumble, left hand clutching his forearm, while your right hand wound itself through the silky strands of his hair. Your thumb brushes over the slight stubble of his cheek, and he smiles at you, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose.
He pushes his hair back and out of his face, and the simple sight of his forehead on display has your stomach twisting deliciously. Pace turning from quarter notes to eighth notes, your body jolts in reaction, and you swallow thickly. He looks so good above you— pretty chocolate brown hair swept out of his face, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, your gaze drops to the smooth bare of his torso. He wasn’t “buff” by any means, but your eyes settle on lines of muscle under his skin that definitely weren’t there a month and a half ago.
“Pet, have you been working out?” Your words are embarrassingly choked. Beomgyu gives you another shit-eating grin.
“I have, do you like it?” Despite the mocking tone in his voice, there’s an underlying note of something else, like he’s waiting for you to say yes.
So you do, because it’s the answer, and the look of pure joy on his face makes it all worth it. “Like it s’ much, Gyu, look so pretty…”
“Not as pretty as you, mommy, look at you, all a mess underneath me an’ I swear you’ve never looked better..~”
Your walls fluttering around the girth of him betrays your straight face, and Beomgyu presses a kiss to your parted lips. “Like when I tell you that, mommy? Like when Gyu says you look so perfect under him, all fucked out on his dick, hm?”
You nod frantically, and he nods back at you, bottom lip caught between his teeth. “Mean every word of it, pretty girl looks like a fucking angel with my dick inside her…”
You tighten desperately around him with a whine, gripping at the hands he’s got on your waist to pull you closer to him. “Gyu, fuck, gonna c-cum, t’ good, please, wanna..!”
“Go ‘head, baby, cum all over my cock, love the way you feel ‘round me..~”
You can feel him quivering above you when you clamp down on him, orgasm hitting you like a fucking truck, and Beomgyu kisses away the tears on your cheeks. “There we go, there’s my good girl… C-can I cum too, please?”
“Go ahead, Gyu, you’ve done so good, made mommy feel so good, oh fuck!” 
He’s fucking into you with a new desperation to reach his high, completely disregarding the fact that you’ve only just came, and the overstimulation makes your grip tighten on his arm. “Gyu, calm down, fuck, hurts, can’t— can’t take it, Gyu!”
Beomgyu shakes his head, panting in your ear, body trembling against yours. “Can take it, you’re such a good girl, aren’t you? Gotta get me off now, ’s my turn.”
Fuck, how the tables have turned. A complete 180 from the night of the wedding, and he’s coaxing you to take him despite the way your body begs for a break. The sound of his hips meeting yours over and over again is prominent over the short moans that every one of his movements pulls from your lips.
“Oh, oh fuck, fuck, taking me so good, thank you, thank you, fuck!” Voice breathless, he pins your hips to his, milking himself inside you.
Oh shit. It’s not like you’ve never had the boy cum inside you— it’s happened once or twice, on accident, and you best believe you both freaked the fuck out afterwards— but this time, it’s different. He’s holding your body to his, both of you shaking, and the way you can feel his warm cum in your womb is making you weak.
Beomgyu stays like that for a moment, arms around you, yours around him, dick nestled between your walls. He’s so fucking warm against you, pants painting your skin. The intimacy of it all is almost enough to have you running out of the room immediately, but something in the tone of his voice convinces you to stay. 
When he finally pulls out, his cum drips from your cunt and onto his sheets, but you can tell Beomgyu couldn’t care less. His eyes are transfixed on the white of his cum on your thighs, the way it seems like his seed could be leaking from you forever.
Finally, he gets up to find a washcloth to clean you up, and does so with such tenderness that your heart twinges.
“Gyu, we have to talk…” you mumble against his hair.
Laying in his bed, the both of you are dressed only in the bare minimum, Beomgyu’s face resting on your chest, and every once in a while you can feel him sucking a purpling mark onto the flesh of your breasts.
He shakes his head in response to your suggestion. “No, we don’t.”
“We do, we can’t keep doing thi—“
His finger on your lips cuts you off. “Shush, you’re ruining pillow talk. This is not how it’s supposed to be.”
“Listen to me, Beomgyu! I can’t do this, fucking you isn’t gonna do anything but hurt everyone around us. Don’t you understand?”
He’s got the same pout on his face and you know you won’t be able to argue with whatever he’s going to say, that look gets you every fucking time. 
Before he can answer, however, the front door bangs open and two voices, one male, one female, call out, “We’re home! Where are the two of you?”
You’re cursing your parents for ruining your important talk, but Beomgyu’s thanking them as the two of you frantically pull your clothes on. 
Conversation postponed. ;)
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tojisth3rdwife · 2 months ago
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BabyDaddyToji didnt react to your positive pregnancy test the way you expected him to. He was surprisingly chill about it despite all of the conversations the two of you had in the past about him not wanting anymore kids. Megumi was school-aged and wasnt nearly as bad as Toji made him out to be but you could understand his standpoint. Kids are a big deal. Theyre expensive. Theyre loud. They smell. They amplify your anxiety to the nth power. So yeah, you got it.
But for someone who didnt want any more kids, Toji wasnt that great at doing things to prevent them. He hated condoms and you understood birth control wasnt 100% effective, but there he was nutting you every night anyway.
So naturally when your period never came and your started to feel strange, your mind went straight to those conversations and how he would react if you were indeed pregnant.
He surprised you though. It was actually him who encouraged you to get a test because he’d noticed the change in you. And when you were sitting on the closed toilet seat, staring at the pee stick in shock with trembling hands, it was him kneeling in front of you with his huge hands resting on your knees.
“Tell me what it says.” he said calmly, his thumb skimming over your skin soothingly. Your jaw clenched and your eyes stung with the flow of tears threatening to coat them. Taking your silence as a response, Toji takes the pregnancy test from you and flips it to see for himself. When he sighs, a knot forms in your stomach and you brace yourself for the worst as his hard expression never changed.
“Toji..I..Im..” you begin, not even sure of what you wanted to say. Your voice shook with emotion, the sound making Toji’s cool green gaze jump from the test to your face. Before you could blubber anything else, the pregnancy test was set aside and Toji’s arms were pulling you from the toilet to join him on the floor. He stumbles back so that he’s seated with you cradled in his lap, rubbing your arm and cupping your cheek. You were crying by now, coherent words impossible as you sobbed into his chest.
“M’s-sorry..” you huffed and Toji furrowed his brow in confusion.
“For what? Im the one that did it..” he chuckled, though you didnt see what was so funny. You pull away just enough to brave a look at him, chin trembling pitifully.
“You…Youre not mad?” You blink, fat tears rolling down your face. Toji sighs at the sight of your sadness, feeling his heart was being squeezed and twisted just from looking at you. His expression remains stoic though, apart from the soft smirk on his lips.
“Nah..” he shakes his head. Your eyes flutter shut as Toji’s thumb rubbed over them to wipe the freshest tears away before continuing.
“Why would you think that, pretty girl? Hmm?”
This wasn’t part of your plan at all. Not that you were the traditional or conservative type but you at least wanted to be further along in your relationship with Toji before something like this happened. It had only been a few years of you being in a relationship, less than a year living together. Megumi was just now getting used to you being a consistent presence in his life and now here you go bringing a baby into the picture, someone else he’d have to tolerate and get used to.
And then there was Toji. He didn’t seem like the type to cut and run out on you over an unplanned pregnancy but would he resent you? Would he treat you differently now that things were about to get even more serious than they were?
Thinking of it all overwhelms you to the point of hysterics, and you hide your face in Toji’s neck to keep from facing the disappointment you just knew you’d find in his eyes.
If only you know how the only concern he had was comforting you.
“I just know this isnt what you wanted…I feel so stupid..” you find the strength to say between maintaining a steady breath, and Toji hugs you tighter. He kisses your forehead and exhales heavily, resting his cheek in your hair.
“It’s all good baby. None of that matters. Im here. Not goin anywhere, I promise.” He assures you, keeping you in his steady embrace until your breathing was no longer shuddered. You’d been quiet for a few minutes before Toji’s deep voice cut through the silence.
“Whew..hormones fucking you up already, huh? Damn…” Toji jokes half heartedly, earning him jab in the abs that he laughs off as he continued to hold and console you.
So boom. There you were. Pregnant af with Toji’s baby.
Much to your relief, Toji didnt change the way he treated you as the weeks passed. He was still sweet , in his own way, and very present. He went with you to the first appointment to confirm everything and make sure you were ok. He held your hand when your blood was drawn and watched the large monitor on the wall with interest when you were probed with the transvaginal ultrasound device.
“And there we are...” the OBGYN mutters distractedly as the probe stalled in a particular position inside of you, showing the small cavity of your womb and the little bitty bean nestled inside of it. Your eyes widen at the wiggly blip and it’s tiny heartbeat, your own starting to kick up in pace. Toji says nothing but he watches your reaction to seeing evidence of life growing inside of you. A life the two of you created.
Damn.
“What the hell...” you exhale, making Toji chuckle.
“Yep! Theres your baby. Id say youre about 9 weeks. Projecting your due date to be around...” the doctor pauses, typing something into the keyboard quickly.
“May 17th.” she finished.
She withdraws the scope and hands you a box of tissues to clean yourself, leaving for a minute to give you some privacy. Once alone with Toji in the small room, you looked to him with mixed emotions clear in your eyes. His expression is as stoic as it usually was but there was a warmth in his gaze that you found comforting.
He smirks.
“Looks like I knocked you up good, huh?” he jokes and you giggle.
“Yeah. It would appear so..”
You sigh as you sit up to get dressed and Toji sits back to watch you wiggle your booty back into your jeans. A magic trick if you asked him. You turn to him as you zipped your fly, uncertainty still clear on your face.
“What you thinking bout over there?” Toji asks, his eyes falling from your face to your trembling hands that worked over the button of your jeans. You exhaled a nervous laugh, shaking your head.
“Im honestly still in shock. Seeing the baby moving didnt bring me the feeling I expected it would..”
“What were you expecting to feel?” your man asks and you shrug solemnly.
“I dont know…Like I’m not making a huge mistake, I guess.” You chuckle humorlessly, blinking to resist that stupid urge to cry.
Toji’s head leans slightly, his eyes panning over you with concern. He sits up in his seat, offering you his hand.
“C’mere , mama..”
The irony of his usual pet name wasn’t lost on you but you were too emotional to be amused by it.
You walk towards him to stand between his legs and his hands come around to rub the backs of your thighs over the denim. He looks up at you with a softness that immediately disarms you, causing the tension in your body to melt away on contact.
“You cant worry about all of that shit right now. This is all gonna feel weird and new and scary but bright side is, you wont be going through any of it alone. Lucky for you, Ive kinda been through this before. Well..not being pregnant but..you get what Im saying..”
“I get it..” You smile at Toji stammering and lift a hand to cup his cheek, sliding it back to tug on his ear affectionately. Toji leans into the touch, grunting softly in reaction.
“Good. I also have some dad experience under my belt. Megumi survived a whole 3 and half years before you came into the picture and you see how he is. So you’re not just dead in the water here, babe. Ive got you.”
The image of Toji struggling with Megumi as an infant on his own comes to mind. You didnt know him then, only having his stories of that time to paint the picture for you. You couldn’t imagine how hard it must have been for Toji to cope with the fact that person he thought he’d be spending his life and raising his son with was gone, leaving him to take it on alone. The sleepless nights and tearful days, with very little support since she was all he had.
You never told him, but there was a soft spot in your heart for Toji’s deceased wife, since she was the one who taught him how to love in the first place. And it was her love that lived on in him and Megumi that was allowing you to step in. What a privilege that was, that you didn’t realize until this very moment.
Of course he wasnt going to tell you that he was terrified. Terrified of history repeating itself. Terrified of him not being able to save you. Terrified of fucking up royally and leaving another gaping hole in his chest that he wouldn’t allow anyone else in to fill. He’d never show you his fear when he saw the amount of it you were already battling.
With a soft smile and another squeeze, this time on your ass, Toji pulls you into a hug you wouldn’t dare refuse. His head rests against your chest and he inhales the scent of your perfume.
Youre pulled out of your moment when a few knocks at the door have you both turning to look just as the doctor is peaking her head in.
“You two ready to come back in the exam room for a consult to go over everything?”
You look to Toji and he gives you a wink and a soft pat on the butt before he’s standing.
“Yeah Doc. We’re ready.” he responds before you can, giving you a tiny smile of reassurance as he encouraged you to walk ahead of him.
Part 2
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sovaharbor · 2 years ago
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like arguably in comparison to my last booster, im doing .. better ??? but this is now day 3 and i'm still having stomach issues, body aches, headaches, etc ... shit's annoying. stopppppp.
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reallyromealone · 7 months ago
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Title: fate
Fandom: jjk
Characters: Gojo, original character for plot purposes
Fic type: story
Pairings: Gojo x reader
Warnings: male reader, reader insert, omegaverse, angst, soulmate, Gojo is a jerk, slow burn
Notes:
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
There was no space for weakness amongst sorcerer's, no space for mistakes and no space to be anything less than perfect.
He had always heard of his fiance, Gojo Satoru... The god amongst sorcerer's...
Though he never met the Alpha, the high and mighty sorcerer never bothered meeting the diamond of the (lastname) clan and did everything he wanted and everyone he wanted while (name) was expected to wait.
The only reason they were fiance's is because of stupid blood work, the two having extreme compatibility and thus an engagement... The Alpha apparently became a teacher.
(Name) Always stood out with people, clothes traditional and expensive as students gawked at the Royal looking omega with two S rank sorcerer's beside him as security and a calm yet serious expression on his face, he was rarely called here... Hell he wasn't even allowed to attend due to being the fiance of Gojo, the Alpha barring it.
That always made (name) laugh, couldn't meet his omega even once and downright ignored him but controlled every aspect.
"You will be expected to marry within the next month, you're both 19 and twenty and after the wedding we expect pups within the first year" Gojo sat beside him, legs spread out and sitting casual as if he didn't make them wait an hour for him to arrive. (Name) Didn't know what to do with the Alpha beside him, (name) expected to wear scent patches at all times and a collar but Gojo had his scent out and proud, it was almost suffocating.
The concept of marrying such an asshole... (Name) Didn't want that.
He didn't want to live a life being this fuckers baby machine.
So, a week after... He left.
Took the jewelry gifted to him by people wanting his hand or favor, once people learned who he was it was like floodgates opened and (name) just kept the expensive jewelry in a box... Now they served a purpose.
That was one year ago, now 20 and across the country away from Tokyo and away from... Him.
(Name) Lived in a farm house on a coastal village, trading his traditional clothes for t-shirts and cardigans, simple trousers and sneakers, all things he never wore before living on his own. The two was nice, the Omega had more money than god with the jewels he sold and worked part time at the small hobby shop in town, the elderly alpha woman introducing him to many hobbies.
For the first time, (name) felt calm.
His shoulders never tensed anymore.
But he knew to never eat his guard down.
(Name) Didn't keep much tech, he didn't really use it back in Tokyo so it didn't appeal to him but he did keep a radio and a small tv in the corner, his boss giving him her old dvd player and (name) would borrow movies from the library, catching up on things he missed.
Currently he was watching a drama as he crocheted another blanket for his nest, humming softly to himself as rain patterned outside against his roof and the smell of his food cooking in the oven.
Knock knock knock.
(Name) Was confused as he stood up, walking to the door and carefully he cracked the door open just a sliver when he smelt it... Pine and peppermint. The smell of Gojo Satoru.
"You are a very hard person to find, surprisingly" Gojo said as he pushed the door open, the smell of distress and anxiety filling the small space as the sorcerer walked in "cute place, not what I would have expected from the (last name)s clans little gem" his voice condescending as he looked around at the little decorations and such.
"I'm not going back" (name) hissed as he stepped away whenever Gojo got closer "im not being some daycare for your pups while you go sleep around japan!" Gojo wore his eye mask though even with that he could feel the glare, the man was done with this.
"So you're going to play farm boy here? We both know you're not even remotely cut out for that" Gojo taunted and (name) glared at him "you know nothing about me! I know you never opened that stupid packet about me! I was expected to give everything to you but you couldn't even muster up talking to me! You treated me like I didn't exist!" (Name) Yelled angrily, all the years of anger and resentment boiling over "you don't get to want me now, I don't care if we are fated or whatever! You are a jackass!" (Name) Felt the air knocked out of him as he was pushed against a wall, the infinity making him feel like the other was pressing against him as he realized that gojos mask was no longer present, piercing blue eyes staring down at him.
"Do you think I was happy with the elders deciding that I was going to marry some prissy Omega? That suddenly I was expected to play house with someone I didn't know!" He growled and (name) wasn't backing down despite the pharamones and pressure "you didn't even try and get to know me! You didn't want me!"
"Well I'm here now, aren't I !"
" A little late, don't you think!"
"God you're annoying!"
"Back at you"
This was not the Omega Gojo remembered, the poised and refined Omega who poured tea and wore pretty clothes was replaced by an angry man in comfy clothes and a heated glare and an attitude "we are literally bound by fate and we can't even hold a conversation without arguing" Gojo found the situation weirdly funny as (name) looked at him with a mix of annoyance and disgust as the sound of his timer went off and (name) managed to get away to go take his food out the oven.
Gojo followed the other and looked at the food, it looked really good "you know how to cook?"
"I was literally trained to be the perfect house wife" (name) said bluntly as the sound of a stomach growling caught both of their attention and Gojo looked at the other and (name) sighed "I literally can't make you leave" he hissed as he grabbed another plate.
Dinner was tense as (name) ate, reading his book as he did so as Gojo took the time to inspect his surroundings "it's like an old persons house, do you even have a computer?"
"Don't know how to use one, don't need it" (name) said as he took a bite of his food and Gojo looked surprised at his words "you grew up with cast wealth, how do you not?" He didn't believe it at all as (name) set his book down "an Omega and an alpha live different lives, you were given more freedoms then myself... You got to attend school and make friends and I was raised to be the perfect mate and technology wasn't deemed important to know compared to the art of tea pouring" he said simply as he looked into the others eyes "I have spent this year learning everything i was deprived of, I lived in Tokyo yet I had never seen it outside my escape"
If it was tense before then it was suffocating now, Gojo never considered these things.
He never once considered the life his fiance was living, having always been told he was living the perfect life of luxury and frankly assumed he was some spoiled Omega.
"I would have shown you..." Gojo started, guilt bubbling in him, "oh? You would have spared me time? Between your whores?" (Name) Tilted his head curiously and Gojo felt a headache form "I hear everything you know? From my maids... They always told me I should be lucky that I'm fated to you" (name) looked away and continued eating, book abandoned beside him as the smell of fury radiated from the Omega, Gojo sighing as he took a bite of his food. The food was phenomenal, seasoned perfectly and not one thing not amazing about it but he didn't comment "we can sort these things out when we go home" Gojo said finally, they would get everything in order when they returned home.
"I am home, I have no intentions of going anywhere with you" (name) said stiffly as he stood with an empty plate.
"Well, tough" Gojo said tired as he followed the Omega around the small farm house, cozy and warm "you're my Omega and I'm tired of this"
"Was I your omega when you screwed across the land?" (Name) Glared at him, he didn't care who he was or what strength he possessed... He was tired of everyone making choices for him! "You can go back to whatever life you had before, say I died or something... I know that there's countless omegas dying for a chance to be your fiance"
"Well if you're not going with me, in not going anywhere" Gojo said simply as he walked to the small couch and plopped down "you're like a child" (name) glared, wasn't even like he could go out, the rain so heavy.
"I'm going to bed" (name) grumbled as he went to his bedroom, Gojo getting up to follow but (name) slammed the door in his face.
This was going to be annoying, Gojo could feel it.
Come morning, (name) wore a loose shirt and sweatpants as he made himself his morning drink and stared at his mug sleepily as Gojo watched from the livingroom curiously, the other rubbed his eyes sleepily as calm and sweet pharamones filled the space. Gojo realized that this was the first time he could smell the others pharamones and not smell distress.
He never smelt anything so wonderful.
(Name) Set a mug of tea, brewed perfectly "how did..." "We were both given packets about one another, you pretended I didn't exist remember?"
Gojo had a feeling (name) wasn't going to let go of that anytime soon.
Gojo followed (name) around all day, when the Omega walked down the path towards the village "you really live out in the middle of nowhere" Gojo commented as they walked along the tree lined path, (name) holding a few bags "you know in Tokyo, I could have food delivered to us right?" Gojo remarked and (name) just ignored him, at least the Alpha had the sense to wear sunglasses instead of his mask so he didn't look insane "there's barely a connection out here" the Alpha remarked, (name) knew what he was doing and it wasn't working.
The villagers looked confused as (name) had a towering alpha follow him, the omega shopping as if he wasn't even there "(name)!" A couple kids ran up to the Omega who looked down curiously "what is it little ones?" (Name) Asked softly as the youngest clung to his leg, a little pup with wide eyes and a sweet smile "play with us!" One of the kids said excitedly and (name) smiled "maybe later little ones, I have errands I have to do" (name) ushered the children towards the small park area, Gojo watching the scene curiously.
"So why did you come looking for me? I thought you would have been elated at my sudden leaving" (name) asked as they walked home, Gojo forcing the other to let him hold the bags "my alpha... It practically destroyed half the estate when it found out you left... Geto ripped me a new one"
"So you had an epiphany and came here acting like everything would be fine" (name) said with a sigh and Gojo shrugged "I mean yeah" "and what? Expect me to be like 'oh thank you alpha! You're so kind and didn't make me feel worthless and your actions didn't cause me verbal and emotional abuse from my family!' been going to therapy and the therapist says you suck" (name) was way snarkier than Gojo thought he would be, he liked that his omega wasn't weak "I spent a year being on my own and doing what makes me happy, I don't want you messing that up"
"What do you even do out here?" Gojo asked and (name) shrugged "I have a part time job and I'm an active member of the community, no stress of either of our families... Everything is good"
"What would it take for you to come back?" Gojo asked "money? I can make sure you have everything you need"
"I don't want money, I don't want that stuff... I'm not marrying someone who doesn't love me and I don't love in turn"
Gojo spent the night thinking about it, while his omega slept peacefully in the other room and pulled out his phone to text Geto... He wasn't sure what to do.
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seresinhangmanjake · 8 months ago
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Simon "Ghost" Riley x Soap's Sister!reader
Summary: Because Johnny found him sleeping with his sister, Simon had to live the last three months without you, but he's about to get his girl back.
warnings/notes: a little smut 18+, cursing, drinking. That's probably it. Oh, typos, im sure, as well.
words: 1830
Part 1
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He drinks at the same bar. The one his team practically lived in when they were all together for an evening, but that doesn’t happen anymore, not with the entire group. Johnny stays home if he knows Simon will be attending the night out, and Simon, if informed Johnny wants to be with the team, elects to remove himself from the situation for everyone’s comfort. He figures it’s the least he can do. He’d slept with his best mate’s sister, he’d fallen in love with his best mate’s sister, and so he has taken on the consequences, no matter how infuriating and unreasonable and unfair. 
“You want another, Honey?” the bartender asks. She grins. Her eyes shine with desire, as they have all night, and it might be a pleasant sight if Simon had never met you. He might’ve taken her home, fucked her like a toy until he was spent and she was happily ruined by his cock before he kicked her out. But she isn’t you. No woman is you.
“Keep ‘em comin’,” Simon replies, downing the amber liquid in his glass. 
Suddenly, the stool beside him slides across the hardwood floor, now occupied by a newcomer he wouldn’t hesitate to shove to their ass if he could do so without causing a scene. What kind of rude bastard risks sitting next to someone when ten other seats are open?
“Actually lass, do me a favor and cut ‘im off. I need ‘im in his right mind.”
Simon almost chokes at Johnny's voice but he doesn’t turn his head as he slowly sets the glass back down on the counter, his fingers tightening around it. Anger, confusion, pain, anxiety. It all crashes over him in a hefty wave, because rolled into this one man is both the friend Simon has missed for months and the asshole who has forced him to be apart from the love of his life. And it’s almost too much to handle at once.
“I’ll take his drink,” Johnny tells the bartender, who has lost all hope now that the man she’s been attempting to charm is no longer lonely enough to be convinced to take her home. When she places the glass in front of him, he takes a sip. “You look like shit, Ghost.”
“What do you want?”
“We got a problem,” Johnny says, getting right to it. “A bit of a disaster, really, and I gave it my best shot, but I can’t fix it.” Simon blinks. His brows pinch. Johnny drains the remainder of the alcohol and wipes his mouth with the back of his forearm. “She’s miserable. And considerin’ the timeline, I’d wager it’s because she’s without you.”
Simon’s heart—though had fallen from his chest months ago—sinks lower into his gut. 
“Look, I didn' believe it was that deep,” Johnny continues. “Figured you were jus’ messin’ around. Being stupid and disrespectful with my baby sister. But I cannot have her miserable, Ghost. It won’t do.” He looks at Simon and releases a long sigh. “She loves you. I don’ like it but she does, and you need to make it better.”
“What exactly are you askin’ of me?”
Johnny’s eyes land back on the empty glass. He plants his elbows on the counter and rubs his fingers across his forehead, kneading the wrinkles. “Just…go to her, alright?”
That snaps Simon out of his grumbly attitude. “You serious?”
“Unfortunately,” Johnny says. 
Simon practically leaps out of his seat, nearly knocking the stool to the floor as he shrugs on his jacket. He’s almost at the door, but then he stops. Taking a breath, he turns back to his old friend. “Will you be able to handle this?” Simon asks. “Me and her? Because you can't ask me to let her go, Johnny. Not twice.”
Johnny takes a second, then he gives a brief nod. “I’ll adjust. Somehow. With time; lots of time.”
It isn't much reassurance, but it's enough for Simon to be on his way. He rushes out the door, jumps into his truck, and races down the road. He forgets the seatbelt. Ignores the speed limit signs. You don’t live far, and you’re worth the risk if it means getting to you faster. 
He knows the elevator in your building is much too slow because he’s been in it a hundred times. He has made out with you in it; fucked you in it, slamming the emergency button so no one could interrupt on the nights you couldn’t wait to get to your bedroom. So he takes the stairs. Two at a time, up eight flights, and down the hall. With a heaving chest, he bangs on your door. 
“Love, open up!” He knocks harder. Loud enough to make your neighbor pop her head into the hall to understand the ruckus. 
“Oh, wonderful. You've returned,” the old woman huffs. “And just when I was starting to believe I’d never again have to endure listening to that moaning and groaning at all hours.”
“We talked ‘bout this back in June, Mrs. Brimsby. Get yourself some earplugs,” Simon retorts before calling for you again. “Baby, please, it‘s me!”
“I’ll report the two of you for the noise.”
“You probably should. You’re in for a long night.” He hears a scoff but doesn’t bother to glance in the direction it comes from. 
“Still so disrespectful,” she spits before slamming the door to her apartment. 
Simon has held a low level of hatred for the old bat since the morning after the first time you’d slept together. It was an early Sunday full of soft touches and kisses and tea to nurse the mild hangovers you’d both had because of a couple of drinks the night before—the drinks that allowed the two of you to finally surrender to the sexual tension. After kissing you goodbye, he’d stepped out of your apartment with a smile he hadn't donned in quite some time, only to have it wiped away from the unexpected grandma in a collared nightgown tapping her foot as she stroked the fur of the cat in her arms. 
“You kept us up all night,” she had scolded. “We need our sleep.” The cat then hissed for emphasis. 
Now, Simon has never been so happy to have that woman blathering in his ear. She reminds him of home, because home is with you and this is where you are. Getting yelled at shoots him into the memories of the time you spent together all those months ago. The stupidly high levels of bliss that, based on the trajectory of his life at the time, he’d assumed was more of a myth than anything. But you had made it real. You had soothed the pain. You were the patch on his wounds; the brightest spot in his life which dimmed the trauma and horrors. 
He’s so lost in those thoughts that he doesn’t immediately notice when his banging fist plummets through the air.
“Si?”
At your voice, Simon’s mind instantly clears. His eyes meet yours.
“Fucking finally,” he mutters, not letting a beat go by before he’s bending at the knees, wrapping his arms around your waist, and lifting you up. Instinctually, your arms snake around his neck, your legs circle his hips, and he feels his cock begin to swell from the reminder of how natural that action is for you. How right it is that you fit together like lock and key. 
Many questions are brewing in your eyes, but you don’t ask them. You kiss him instead, hard and thoroughly as he carries you into your apartment and kicks the door closed behind him. When he sits you atop your kitchen counter and settles himself between your spread legs, his hands go everywhere; under your sleep shirt, up the curves of your body to squeeze your breasts then back down to your hips. His palms slide around to your ass and jerk you closer so the center of those thin little shorts is pressed against the mound protruding from his jeans. 
Buttons scatter across the tile from his impatience, unwilling to delicately undo each tiny closure of your shirt. Your fingers trickle lower on his body to the belt buckle you quickly undo and the zipper you harshly yank down. He’s about to tell you to lift your hips, but you do so without his command, shimmying out of your shorts, and Simon takes the chance to do the same, pushing his pants just below his ass. He springs free, the heavy column of flesh landing at your navel. 
Leaning back, you guide his cock through the slickness of puffy lips into your tight, clenching walls. It sucks the air from his lungs. His head falls to your shoulder as you both try to breathe at a steady pace. His hands brace on the counter on either side of your body, nails digging into the granite. Home.
“Simon…baby, you have to move,” you pant. “I c-can’t take it.”
“I’ve got you,” he whispers in your ear before lifting his head and placing a quick peck on your mouth. Shifting his hips, he pulls out and then slowly eases himself back inside of you. His groan drowns out the sweet song of your moan. “I’ve got you, love.”
“Your neighbor still hates us, jus’ so you know,” Simon says as he slides under the sheets. Were he not so exhausted, he’d chuckle at the idea of being beside you in your bed and not immediately trying to fuck you, but after the kitchen counter, then the couch, then the living room floor, you’re both worn out and in need of a good night's sleep. “Probably more now than she did before.”
Normally, you would have found his words amusing, but you remain silent on your back, staring straight up at the ceiling. Simon raises a brow and flips onto his side. Then he sees the tear slip from the corner of your eye down to your ear. 
“What're you thinkin' about, love?” he asks as he places his hand on your cheek and turns your face toward his. 
“I'm scared,” you tell him. “I've missed you so much, but the second you leave, everything will go back to how it was without you. That broke me the first time, Si. How do I go through it all over again?”
His eyes pinch tight and he sighs in shame. He should have told you. It should have been the first thing out of his mouth, but then he saw you and he needed you and that was all that mattered in the moment. “Baby,” he begins, brushing the hair back from your face. “I'm not leaving you, and we are not goin’ back to that, ok?”
“But Johnny—”
“We don't need to worry about Johnny.”
Your eyes widen. “What? Why not?”
“Because, love,” Simon says, his hand finding the middle of your back and snuggling you into his chest, “Johnny sent me.”
@universitypenguin @ghostslittlegf
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seeingivy · 1 year ago
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birthmark 
satoru gojo x f!reader 
satoru’s suddenly more appreciative of scars 
content warning: MANGA SPOILERS, canon divergence bc im not gege and they all deserve to be happy, reader described as pregnant, giving birth/c-section, hospitals, pain (kinda), big brother megumi + tsumiki, lil corny family, 
an: happy fathers day to our fav dad :DDD reader is described as having dark hair in comparison to satoru but tbh every hair color is dark compared to white unless you have white hair them im sorry
“Hi baby.” 
“What do you want, Satoru?” 
“I wasn’t talking to you.” 
You take your eyes off from the screen to find Satoru lying across the couch, his head very close to your stomach. His blindfold is hanging around his neck, his shiny, blue eyes staring right at the bump. 
“He doesn’t have ears yet.” 
“You don’t know that. We have father-daughter telepathy. She can hear me.” 
“If anyone was going to have telepathy with him, because he is most definitely a boy, it’s going to be me.” 
He rolls his eyes, lying his head against your stomach as he continues staring down - his eyes focused. You reach down, pressing your hand in his hair as you start carding through his white locks. 
“What were you like as a baby, Toru?” 
“Horrible. Came out super late, cried all the time, total sweet tooth.” 
“I asked about you as a baby. Not now.” 
He rolls his eyes, sitting up to ruffle your hair. You shrug him off before leaning your head against his shoulder, his hand placed directly on your stomach, which he does almost every time he’s near you. You can hear his stupid voice in your head. She has to know I’m here too, not just you mama. 
“Shut up. Stop bad mouthing me in front of our child. That’s not a healthy parenting model.” 
“You screamed my head off for throwing out your precious kikufuku in front of Megumi last week. Healthy parenting model, my ass.” 
“Well some things are just unforgivable, sweetheart. And he’s a big boy now.” 
He leans over and presses a kiss to the top of your head, before pressing his cheek against your hair. “What was my baby like as a baby?” 
“I came out super early. I think they had to stay in the hospital for a few days because I was too weak. But after that, I think it was okay.” 
He leans over, pressing himself harder into your frame as he squeezes. You place your hands in his hair again, running through as you wait for him to talk. He’s thinking - too hard. 
You understood that a baby, a real one - not grown up and super self sufficient like Tsumiki and Megumi were - was anxiety inducing. But ever since you had told him, Satoru was stressed out, more than usual. Shoulders always tensed up, freaking out over painting the room or assembling a crib, or picking a godfather. 
“Love?” 
“Yes, Satoru?” 
“Do you think…the baby will be scared of me?” 
“Because you’re the strongest? Of course, not. Megumi and Tsumiki always thought it was so cool when they were little, smacking their tiny little hands against it while laughing.” 
“No, no. Not because of that.” 
You push your palms against his cheeks, pulling his face out of the crook of your neck. He looks into your eyes, the look shy. His eyes waver down to his arms, littered in scars, before looking back up. And now you get it. He’s talking about his scars. 
They’ve faded over the years, from back when Megumi was still possessed by Sukuna. You remember when they were angry, red and fresh, when he came home, and nearly made your heart drop out of your chest. 
And when it was well and over, you had kissed them hundreds and hundreds of times over until Satoru knew, with full confidence, that you love him. And Megumi had apologized, millions of times before he understood that none of it was his fault. You love Satoru. Scars and all. And you love Megumi. Possession and all. 
“Satoru. You know that we all-” 
He shrugs you off, the look exasperated. 
“I know you guys love me. But I’m talking about the baby. There’s just so many of them and they’ve faded a good amount but-” 
You lean over and press your lips to his, kissing him softly before you let go. You can feel him deflate at the sensation, giving you the smallest of smiles when you pull apart. 
“You guys have father-daughter telepathy. She could never be scared of you.” 
You see the smile spread across his face as he rolls his eyes at you, shaking you at the shoulders. 
“So you agree? She’s a girl.” 
“No. He is most definitely a boy. But I’ll let you have it for tonight.” 
“You’re so generous.” 
“I know Satoru, it’s one of the best things about me.” 
You feel him cup his hands around your face as he presses a light kiss to your nose. 
“Yes. It is.” 
“I was being sarcastic.” 
“I know that, love. But I wasn’t.” 
Unlike Satoru and much more like you, your baby is born early. What you thought was a routine ultrasound turned into an emergency c-section and your little baby coming a little earlier than you had planned. 
That was hours ago. Satoru has been watching you, your chest heaving up and down as you sleep, since they moved to this room. Your daughter, because Satoru was right, was down the hall in the NICU, in a tiny little plastic incubator. With Megumi and Tsumiki. 
This day had already been too hard for Satoru. And it wasn’t even over yet. Watching you get pushed onto a table, your baby coming out and not crying, finding out it was a girl but you weren’t even conscious enough for him to stick it to you, having to pick who to spend his time with. 
He picked you. Because Megumi promised that he’d watch her there, make sure she wasn’t alone. He knows how much it meant to the two of you to get to meet her together so he’ll wait. I mean, that is his little sister and all, he doesn’t mind watching her. After Satoru agreed, he couldn’t help but smile at Megumi, literally sprinting down the hall to meet her where Tsumiki was waiting. 
He watches you shuffle in your sleep, your eyes fluttering open. He nearly knocks the table as he stands up, placing his hands on your arms as you wake up. 
“Satoru.”
“Love, oh my god, I was waiting for you. To wake up, I mean. Are-are you okay? Does anything hurt? Do you want me to get anything?” 
He watches your eyes pinch shut as you raise your hand, clamping it right across his mouth. Your little raspy voice breaks out and he can feel the tears streaming down his eyes at the sound of it. 
“Do you ever shut the fuck up?” 
He can’t help but laugh, the tears still streaming down. God, he loves you. Bedridden and still giving him fucking attitude. You’re okay and sassing him around and he loves you. 
He watches the smile spread across your face as you keep your hand there, now wiping his tears off. You look around the room, the crib still neatly made. 
“Wait, where’s-” 
“Down the hall. Megumi’s there with her.” 
“Her? It’s a girl?” 
You can feel the pride bustling in your chest, the tears now filling in your eyes. She’s a girl. Your tiny little baby that you were carrying for the past months was a girl. You can buy her little dresses and teach Satoru how to braid her hair and-
“Told you so.” 
“Shut the fuck up. I know you’re not sticking it to me while I’m literally in a hospital bed. Need I remind you, that you did this to me.” 
“How did I do this to you?” 
“You knocked me up!” 
You both laugh as Satoru helps you up into the wheelchair, pushing you both down the hallway to where she was. 
“You see her yet? Is she cute?”
“No, it’s only been a few hours. I wanted to see her together.” 
He swings the door open, pushing you to the front into the room. You can see Megumi seated right next to the little box, his hand inside with Tsumiki watching from the other side, her eyes focused on the crib. 
But you don’t take notice of your baby first. What you notice first is the shirts Megumi and Tsumiki are wearing, matching pink that say “big brother” and “big sister.” 
“Satoru. Don’t tell me you guilt tripped them into wearing the shirts.” 
They both run over at the sound of your voice, pressing you into a hug. You reach forward, resting both of your hands in their hair as they help you up, holding you steady in the air and running their eyes over you to make sure you’re okay. 
Satoru had bought the five of you matching shirts to wear when the baby was going to be discharged. And they were corny as fuck. With dad, mom, big sister, big brother, and baby written on them. Megumi said he was going to burn his in a fire. You and Tsumiki hid yours somewhere in the basement, pretending you lost them. Satoru found them in five minutes. But here they are, wearing them. 
“You don’t have to wear those. I’m sure he pulled the whole, my wife is dying, my baby is sick but-” 
“I didn’t ask them to wear those. At least not today.” 
You look over to find Satoru smirking, worst than he ever as before, at Megumi especially, as he starts ruffling his hair, cooing over how cute he was. 
“Just, shut up about it. I thought it would make your depressed ass laugh.” 
“Toru, quit bugging him.” 
You press a kiss to Megumi’s cheek before Satoru crushes him in a hug. He’s always been your sweet boy. 
You and Satoru slowly shuffle over to the little box, sticking your hands in to hold hers. Her eyes are pinched shut, a tuft of dark hair at the top of her head. You can feel the tears rising in your eyes, quickly glancing over to see Satoru crying too. Megumi and Tsumiki are on the other side, directly across, sweet smiles pressed on their faces.   
“Dark hair, Toru.” 
“Just like her mom.” 
You both can’t help but stare at her, rustling around in the little crib. But what catches your eye is the dark patch of red on her left eye, instinctively reaching over to touch it. 
“Megumi. What happened?” 
“We think it might be a scar or something. The doctors said she’s okay though, it doesn’t hurt her or anything.” 
You immediately crane her head over to Satoru, whose switched spots with you and is now softly pressing his fingers over the skin. You lean over, whispering in his ear as you both watch her. 
“Think she looks scary with her scar, Satoru?” 
“What the hell are you talking about? She’s perfect.” 
“You guys match. A scar for her and a scar for you.” 
He looks over and you watch the realization spread across his face as he understands what you’re getting at. He gives you a sweet look before pressing one the softest kisses to the top of your hair. He’s crying even harder now, his entire frame shaking. Fucking sap. 
She curls her hands into Satoru’s, squeezing his pinkie finger. 
“What the hell, Toru? She didn’t do that for me.” 
“It’s father-daughter telepathy, love. You wouldn’t get it.” 
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tremendum · 10 months ago
Text
heaven is a place on earth; joel miller
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prologue; im a loser, baby!
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au (pre-outbreak, altered ages), Joel Miller x fem!nanny!reader.  dedicated to the anon who suggested this trope.
↬     series masterlist main masterlist
↬      it's 2000. you're freshly single, three weeks away from being evicted, and your coworker knows a hot, single dad who is hiring for a nanny. you'll take anything you can get.
↬     warnings; tagged 18+ for eventual smut and mature themes. MDNI. age gap (reader is 22, joel is 35), fiscal anxieties, allusions to a shitty ex. if your name is michelle, norah, or dan, you get to be twins with my ocs in this series <;33
series mixtape, song one; Loser, Beck. 1994.
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"fuck."
your voice hisses through the rows of books you stalk down, legs carrying you with fervor towards the front desk. "fuck, fuck, fuck!" 
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you whirl past a mother reading a children's book to her toddler and wince at your language, mouthing sorry! at the baby as you pass. avoiding the harsh glare of its mother, you mutter under your breath. "shit." 
in your hurry, your hip slams into the wooden corner of the front desk; a small grunt of pain hisses through your clenched teeth as you trudge up to your swivel chair. 
"god, damn it!" you bemoan, lowering yourself into your chair and sighing heavily as you drop your head to your hands. 
"so...it can't be good news." Michelle says to you, quietly, as she grimaces apologetically to the mother who walks towards the exit, shielding her stupid baby's ears from your foul mouth. you ignore the woman's harsh look of judgement, instead biting your lip, willing yourself to calm down.
with a suck of deep breath you shake your head. "no, it is not."
she sends you a consolatory look and to this you groan, "the rent's too much here. thought I'd get this one, I really did." you mutter helplessly, picking up several of the books from the drop bin to check them back in on your computer. "they made me endure four interviews. all for nothing." 
a consolatory hand graces your shoulder and you offer your coworker a small smile of gratitude. she sends you a smile so hopeful that you nearly forget the desperate state you're in - the heavy fear of starting new.
"we'll find you a good one. you're smart, marketable, charming..." Michelle shakes her head as you move to protest, pointing at you. "-no, don't even start. we'll get you some more interviews. in the meantime...Dan and I were thinking. we have a couple hundred we could spare this month, just to..." she glances at your shocked stare, shrugging her shoulders. "-you know, get you on your feet. it's not easy to restart, especially after a breakup." 
your heart drops at her words, a crawling feeling of shame licking your throat as you shake your head. 
eyes stinging, you stare down hard at your keyboard, where your nails pick at the F key. "I couldn't- I couldn't ask that of you. thank you, but I-" you shake your head. "don't do that, really Michelle."
she waves her hand, "we insist. but Dan wants to discuss it in person, so we'll be having you over for dinner soon, okay?" she insists, and you hide your burning face between your hands. "this is too much." you say with a grumble, shaking your head. 
"think of it as a gift." she says hopefully with a shrug. "your birthday's soon, isn't it?" 
you sigh, smiling over at her as you shake your head. "at least let me do something for you in repayment. do you need any rooms painted? gardening? babysitting?" you offer, sliding slightly towards her to take a sip of her coffee. 
"we'll talk about it." she agrees, but you know she isn't going to ask you to do any of it; she and her husband are much too kind.
at your silence she just hums triumphantly, typing away on her keyboard as she files a damaged book report. the library hums with its inherent stillness, the fluorescents flickering as you busy yourself filing your own work for the evening.
five whole minutes pass in silence; a feat for you and the woman who sits just beside you. as you work idly, your eyes jump back to the payphone on the wall across the room where you'd heard the words: thank you for your interest, but we decided to go with another candidate. 
whatever. they don't deserve you, anyways. and honestly, the job had shitty benefits.
a sharp sigh from you gives Michelle the narrow opportunity to swivel her chair to face you, as if she'd been waiting for an opportunity to speak.
"you know," she puts on the look of innocence, "I was thinking..." 
you fix her with a look - the last few suggestions for money she'd given you were take up dancing (which you would certainly consider, if the nearest club wasn't fourteen miles away) or marry rich. for a woman who's still with the same man she was with in high school, she sure has an imaginative mind.
you're a month away from losing your new apartment and you cannot fathom moving back in with your ex; you'll take anything. Michelle holds her hands out in defense at your glare. "listen, Norah's got a teammate whose father is looking for a nanny." 
you let the words sink in as you spin your chair to her in interest. nanny? 
"-he owns a construction business. he mentioned looking for a nanny for weekdays at the girls' tournament last Saturday." 
you sigh, touched that she'd thought of you, but exasperated. "I work weekdays!" you sigh. she lifts a brow, leaning closer, "yes, but..." she looks around conspiratorially, "-I think Joel would give you higher pay - and you can still work here on weekends." 
your brows raise in shock, hope growing in your chest. "what, is he loaded?" 
at this, she laughs.
you blink as she holds a hand to her chest, chuckling to herself, leaving you unaware of whatever was so funny to her. "no, no." she calms herself as you stare, less amused. "-but he loves his girl. definitely the type of man who will pay well to make sure his baby's safe."
your lip is tugged between your teeth as you consider; "kids don't really like me." 
it’s not even true- kids love you as much as you love them, but something self-sabotaging within you begs to differ.
Michelle snorts, "Norah loves you." she counters; you cross your arms, "well, that's different. she's, like, an eleven year old version of you." 
she grins at this; Michelle has known you since you were a sophomore, just freshly out of the dorms - she may be older than you by over a decade and a half, but she and her husband are the closest to family you have in this part of the country. 
you nod. "please, will you give him my information? I need any money I can get. I'll be the best nanny in the world."
you're convincing yourself more than her, but she smiles all the same. "I'll see him when I pick Norah up after practice this afternoon. I'll share your number with him, okay?" 
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you have the next day off of work; you spend it unpacking some boxes and organizing, taking a walk around the new neighborhood, trying to befriend the building cat with a can of tuna.
you watch people pass in the street, distracting yourself from the disappointment of leaving your old neighborhood, even if it'd been infested by your cheating ex.
the opportunity to nanny this summer lingers in the back of your mind as you walk past a park, watching as the kids clamber and scream and laugh; you smile to yourself, watching a young mother push a child on the swing. 
sometime past noon, an unknown number texts your cellphone and you pause the TiVo to flip it open eagerly. 
Hey there, it's Joel Miller. Our mutual friend Michelle passed along your number. I've been looking for a nanny for my daughter and heard great things about you. Would you be open to chatting sometime this week? I'd love to discuss a nannying opportunity with Sarah. Let me know if that works for you.
Thanks, Joel
you stare at the words, reading them slowly with a pounding of excitement in your chest. suddenly, the walls of your new, too-expensive apartment seem brighter, the sun opens up the sky - you nearly call Michelle in a burst of excitement before even thinking of a response. 
an inkling of doubt pulls at the back of your head; the man seems kind enough - even if he texts like he's a hundred years old, Michelle and Dan know him personally. you slide your phone, staring at the phone screen for a moment before starting to type out a response. 
Hi Joel! Nice to hear from you, thanks for reaching out. I'd be happy to meet this week to chat about Sarah and nannying opportunities. I am available in the evenings most days, so if there's any time that works best for you, I can make that happen. 
knuckles cramping, you roll your eyes at your effort to be professional over text. you tweak your message several times before signing your name, shutting your eyes, and hitting the send button. 
Joel doesn't respond until very late; nearly eleven in the evening, suggesting a time later in the week and telling you his address. Michelle is ecstatic for you, even helping you draft up ways to tell your boss you'll be going part-time in a professional way; it's accepted gracefully, and now all you have to do is hope this Joel Miller can pay enough. 
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he hires you an hour after meeting up.
to your relief, his daughter Sarah is a darling; big eyes and a bright smile that hides no malicious intent or snobbery. your anxiety slipped away the moment Joel opens their front door, replaced instead with flustered surprise in your lower belly at the man who stood before you.
why hadn't Michelle at least warned you?
he's taller than you'd imagined, and much more handsome; his dark hair is slightly tousled, a faint hint of stubble framing his jawline, biceps defined by a dark gray shhirt. he's curt but chivalrous, voice a low baritone and veins that trickle up his thick forearms golden skin glowing as he talks.
and jesus christ, his eyes - the memory of how they'd scaled over your body, taking you in as you'd stood in the dying sunlight on his doorstep that first time. dragging slowly, eyes dark and shrouded by long lashes, as you'd introduced yourself. how he'd cleared his throat and let you through with a half smile and a nod.
you'd had to try your hardest to keep your eyes on his as he explained he'd need you most weekdays because he has several new projects and has been working longer hours recently.
it took Sarah all of a minute and a half of shyness and hiding behind her father's leg before you showed her your tamagotchi; immediately after, she decided you were new best friends - with her hand in yours, she eagerly showed around the house in a half-intentional tour, pointing out the best hide and seek spots and showing you her collection of toys. 
by the end of the evening, Joel was shaking your hand and agreeing on a bi-weekly payment much higher than you'd expected.
he'd insisted on walking you to your beat-up car, smiling as he opened your driver's door with a shrug - it's dark out, don't want to let my new sitter walk alone at night, do I?
you'd tried your hardest to keep your thoughts professional, but the moment your head fell to your pillow that night, you knew you were fucked. 
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up next: chapter 01 ; as long as you don't care there is no longer a taglist; follow @tremendumnotifs to be notified when i post.
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