#will i ever sleep again lol
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#found this comic#literally me right now#im so exhausted#but passed the point of exhaustion to where im stuck#i cant sleep#i laid down for 7 hours and couldnt sleep#i slept less than 3 hours today#anxiety is stupid#will i ever sleep again lol#husband took over so i could sleep but sleep did not come for me#i hate the baby stage
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Rick and Michonne Grimes - Their Journey Over the Years
It's a broken world, Michonne. And you're the only thing that puts it back together. Til my last breath I am yours.
#the walking dead#the ones who live#rick grimes#michonne grimes#danai gurira#tvedit#nessa007#chewieblog#richonne#userstream#usergif#dailyflicks#richonnegifs#dailytwd#cinematv#twdedit#towledit#tvarchive#otpsource#romancegifs#denim rose graphics#ajshxbsjakaksksk aka me screaming internally; I’m so excited to share this with you all#I think this is the most ambitious gifset I’ve ever made??? but I really wanted to see it through#I chose to do a page for each era of their story (S3; S4; S5; S6-7; S8-10; and finally TOWL)#I’ve wanted to do a magazine layout for a couple yrs now but I was too lazy lol#but when the urge came round again this time for Richonne I got my butt up and immediately started sketching thumbnails#I struggled to come up with a time for the mag cover until I remembered the last (?) TWD supply drop chose the CRM Tribune as its theme#tbh researching mag covers; trying to match fonts; hunting down scenes...it’s been some long nights#the amount of sleep I’ve lost over this set lol but I’m SO SO happy with the final outcome; love these two and their story#I hope you all enjoy!!
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#ok posting all together for reblogability#a doodley#might ''finish'' that final doodle but idk jst wanted a quick scribble before sleeps#drawings u make while listening to certain songs don't ever feel the same once u leave that song listening zone LOL#gnnn ^_^ once again going to bed an hr later than planned due to da joy of drawing....#im leaving the other 2 posts up bc of my tags on em i love rambling 🫶
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i want to smash her with hammers
#turtlearts#my ocs#wordgirl#brother i dont even want to see these ever again i think coloring is the bane of my existence like why is it so damn hard to add colors#to things oh my god#like i couldve posted this weeks ago if i wasnt going literally insane with the colors#i dont think anybody loses sleep or wakes up in a cold sweat just to make such crazy minute changes to colors only for it to look exactly#the same as before LOL
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im a make a deal with the bad wolf so the bad wolf dont bite no more
#doctor who#rose tyler#tenrose#tenth doctor#bad wolf#some rose tyler for society LOL#couldnt sleep so heres some doodles lol#:P#just wanted to draw something after not drawing for 923729 days#my art#for in case i ever post again
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Just thought I’d post some pics of my girlfriend and I’s billford cosplays at NYCC2024 :3 despite the…..signing incident…. It was incredible!! Guys Alex hirsch was RIGHT THERE….. IN FRONT OF US…. AAAHHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHWHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA………………….
📸: @milfsatan 🚬🗿 (the coolest ever)
#I haven’t been this sleep deprived in my life ever ever ever baaaahahaha I’m stumbling in this airport rn🥲#I’m also in so much pain bc disabled LOL#I thugged out a 20 hour day no meals no water no sleep#and I’d do it again but maybe be more responsible#I love all my friends and my girlfriend#and hanging out with em was like the craziest thing ever#she’s the coolest#nycc 2024#gravity falls#billford
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#snake#snakes#pets#hognoses#hognose#sakura#sakura kurīmu#this was shortly after she joined our family and was still in her baby bin#she wanted a friend so bad she befriended the camera#this poor poor lonely noodle#it was not long after she and scoria were allowed to meet and then refused to be separated#they go in their own little sleeping hides at night#but they both get very upset if the other is away for long#they'll watch me holding the other#and sakura has a conniption if I take her sister out of the room to play in another area#they absolutely need each other#The way she initially attempted to bond with the camera reminded me of Harry Harlow's monkey experiment with surrogate monkeys#it is INCREDIBLY sad that these animals desperately wanted love and affection SO BADLY they turned to the closest they could find#which were inanimate objects that couldn't really love them back but it was better than nothing#that can't have been good for their psychological development for so so many reasons#but now that Sakura has the love and support of her sibling Scoria I don't ever intend to separate them so long as adult hormonal changes#don't suddenly make them go to sweet with each other to aggressive#again I think the agression or at least eating of smaller males comes from psychological issues not the species seeking out and eating them#like king snakes intentionally do#at least with girls I do not have experience with boys#but maybe someone with a strong understanding of snakes and their psychology and body language might pick up where I cannot examine such#once again my tags are longer than the post itself lol
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my capacity to see a bad fandom take and just blithely say 'okay! I disagree' internally and move on because it's not my responsibility or concern that someone else thinks that has leveled up so tremendously over the years. I haven't quite escaped the pit of misery yet but I think I'm getting there
#the ability to say to oneself 'it's okay if you don't agree with me'#(and possibly adding a quiet bitchy 'I can't force you to be right' at the end if you're annoyed enough lol)#at seeing a bad take without ever internalizing it any deeper than that... indispensible.#if someone is really unpleasantly vitriolic or reactive about it I'll just block and move on. and never think about them again#a gift for me and for them I'm sure! but as long as people are being civil I'm getting pretty good at just going 'alright.#I think you're wrong but it's your prerogative to think that. away from me preferably but still'#when I was younger I always felt like a more negative take must be more valid/see something I didn't but over time (and a lot of therapy)#that kneejerk self-doubt is a lot easier to get through. sometimes. people are wrong! to me and my experience. and that's alright#if nothing else understand your own limitations in ever changing someone's mind for them and let it go lol#when I feel the real badfeels at a shitty take now I know it's just because I'm tired and threadbare and need to sleep haha#sometimes mental health progress is sooooo... boring and low-key but also brings so much relief#like doing admin work up here. *sees something so dumb I feel dizzy* file that shit under 'not my problem' and move on chief
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10-year age-gap akeshu AU in which, after an especially bad night, 16-year-old akira’s family situation has degraded so irreparably that he finally runs away to tokyo, like he’s always planned to. still in bad shape from his escape, he gets reluctantly picked up by a woman not that much older than him and recuperates at her apartment, where he meets her very hostile, very overprotective son.
it takes a while for 6-year-old goro to realize that akira isn’t one of his mother’s usual “clients”. despite akira’s flight-or-fight instinct button-mashing RUN out of fear of stagnating in one location for too long, in typical joker fashion, he stays with the akechi family to help them through hard times—praising and pampering goro when his mother is too tired to acknowledge him, and pulling mamakechi back to reality when she teeters between picking her poison: a rope hung from the rickety ceiling fan, a long, cold bath, a step off the balcony… he’d barged into their life a year before things would have broken permanently, and patiently patched up the cracks that would have deepened into permanent fissures.
goro in particular takes a liking to the new addition in their household. akira is the only other person he has met who treats him so nicely and gently and attentively—even more so than his own mother. he always seems genuinely happy to see goro come home from school, and frequently offers to take goro out on “adventures” to tour museums, visit aquariums, pet the alley cats, and so on. with him around, goro doesn’t have to wait at the bathhouse anymore. he grows to revere akira as the darling guardian angel his mother had brought home just for him.
in the end, having satisfied the selfless side of his nature, the selfish side has akira running away once again. he thinks his role has been fulfilled, and that he shouldn’t keep disrupting a family that isn’t his. he couldn’t have been more wrong.
and so, goro grows up with a doting mother and an awful, gaping hole where half of his heart should be. that is, until he meets a familiar stranger in Mementos—then again, in an innocuous coffee shop halfway across tokyo.
#tw suicide#akeshu#明主#ft. goro hunting down his flight-risk wife and tying him down with a ring#akira is in disbelief that someone as talented and accomplished and shiny as goro is deadset on some random barista “past his prime”#except to goro akira has only grown more attractive with age#of course mamakechi would be OVERJOYED to see her “roommate” again#even happier to have him as an in-law! now he can't run away ever again!! family hotpot time!!!#she might beef with sojiro for snatching away akira though... murder mom vs coffee dad. who will win#i created this AU bcus i grew bored of daydreaming about my other ones while i fall asleep#except it was so fun to think of that i ended up losing three hours of my sleep...#can u tell i have a huge soft spot for mamakechi LOL
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Funny stuff happens on twitter sometimes dkslfjsdlkf
#these tags are dedicated to the person who told me to stop hiding headcanon info in the tags#im still doing it LKSDFSDFKLFJ#anyway some exposition for my tumblr fans:#J never sleeps. like ever#if she does “sleep” she usually does it sitting in the drop-pod#a lah inuyasha style LMAO#if that makes sense#she never even slept during Tessa's sleepovers#she'd just lay there letting her mind wander#But it always stressed Tessa out that J never relaxed#so one day she was finally able to convince J to TRY. just once.#the first time J ever slept and the first time she truly let her guard down in that manor#was curled up. as small as she could be. next to Tessa.#J was so scared of being found. of being hurt for stopping just once.#so Tessa sat with her the entire time. So she could feel safe enough to finally rest#J can't sleep because it means she'd have to physically stop#and after so long since she the last time she was allowed to rest#I don't think she knows how any more.#and if she did I doubt she'd let herself stop for even a moment#because stopping means letting it catch up to you#its easier just to keep moving; isn't it?#its easier then facing the fact she'll never lay next to her ever again#or smth idk im not a writer lol#ANYWAY thanks for reading :]#murder drones#serial designation j#serial designation v#uzi doorman#tessa is mentioned but I don't really think it warrants a tags :p#I really should be making text posts if im gonna make tags this friggin long
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hellooo, my lovies!
as you may have noticed i haven't updated either of my ongoing series since september, and before the year ends i would like to clear things up and set things straight when it comes to them.
back in june i began this mandatory 6 months long apprenticeship in order for me to get my law degree, and tbh i got exploited the hell out of me, to the point that i would only think about work 24/7.
up until like the beginning of august i would still daydream and stuff and i came up with back to december way before that and i was so excited for it, but then i just got more and more work in the middle of august and from then on it never stopped. i was in a constant state of stress and anxiety, and i reached a point i had only once in my life before reached, in which i no longer daydreamed lol. i still don't really daydream anymore nor do i make up scenarios before going to bed like i always used to. i finished the apprenticeship in december 7th but there's still paperwork i'm turning in and my mind is pretty much numb at this point, idk how to explain it.
the thing is, although i've tried to take off from where i left the stories since i'm not working anymore, i can't bc i feel nothing. i no longer feel that spark or get excited about writing. sure, drabbles and those silly ot8 texts i've posted i'm okay with and genuinely enjoy writing, bc they're simple and don't require me to get as emotionally involved as a series does. but when it comes to watercolor and back to december i try and try and i just can't.
regarding watercolor, i haven't decided what to do with it yet but i think it's no news that i lost my excitement about it a good while ago. there's only one part left and then the epilogue, but if i'm being completely honest i'm considering just leaving it there and maybe write the epilogue right away.
as in for back to december, i'm putting it on hold indefinitely, mainly bc i don't know when i'm gonna be hit with the inspiration i used to have again and i don't want to keep you guys waiting. i've tried to finish the third part but it's been months and i only get frustrated when the words won't come to me like they used to, so it's not good for me either. just think of it as if it was discontinued but if i ever feel like writing for it again i will.
i know these are very shitty news but i can't keep pushing myself when i don't feel the joy i used to when it comes to writing stories. i hope it goes away soon though bc i do love writing and it's been my escape from reality my whole life, so this is hitting me really hard lol.
i may come back to btd in the future or i may come back with a whole new story i'm excited about, but for now i'm gonna stick to drabbles (or one shots if i feel like writing something longer idk) and fake texts.
i'm really sorry. i used to be really excited about both stories but life happened, and i thought you guys needed an explanation. i hope you understand<3
#i'm sad like i love btd hyunjin so much i jdñaksñsks don't wanna let him go but yeah :/#watercolor jinnie had a good run so he's okay lol#anyway it's 3am i should go to sleep. tomorrow's a new day for me to try and detox from the shittiest work experience ever#goodnight and i'm sorry again<3
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Desperado: He's still crazy as ever lol
Ibushi: Hm? Everyone's doing this kind of thing and I wanted to do it too! I was sportsmanlike and had a clean fight!
It was my first match in AEW so instead of introducing myself after the match, I wanted to express that by taking a bump , , or something like that, but why does my back hurt.
Anyway, I'm not crazy (probably)
Desperado: Wa ha ha ha ha!
Your lack of self-awareness is the scariest part!
#el desperado#ibushi kota#kota ibushi#njpw#aew#my translation#It makes me so so happy to see these two talking to each other again#Ibushi sees an old tag partner say 'he's still crazy as ever' with no context and assumes correctly 'he must be talking about me' lol#apologies as always if I made any mistakes - I am running on very little sleep right now!!
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Obviously I’d want them to do whatever makes them happiest but part of me really does hope that if i ever get married that my spouse takes my last name, not because it’s traditional or whatever but because i just really want to take my own name back and actually form a family that i love and that loves me in return out of it. I want to overshadow my past and reclaim my identity and share it with you, i want us to be so intricately tied together in every possible way i want to make a little family of just you and me where there’s so so so much love, just as families are supposed to be
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#idk if it’ll ever happen but i do really hope i get to get married one day#i want to be part of a good family that makes me happy#i want to give that to someone else#i want it to be me and you and any pets and i want it to be more than enough for both of us#i hate that i won’t ever really be able to give a partner close or loving in laws#but i hope that someday just me and my lonesome will be enough for them#sorry it’s 4 am and im being sappy and sad and wistful#back to sleep again😴😴#before i make any more WAY too revealing posts lol#im gay and i like sleeping
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also while I'm on the topic of being off topic. this is my beloved durge tav moon. her wizard boyfriend sprays her with water when she tries to bite people
#putting more lore about her in the tags#because I want to rant but I don't want to be annoying#ever since I made her I've just been doing runs with her because I'm attached 😭#and also I think the storyline for the durge is so cool!!!!#so basically her backstory is like#and don't. laugh... I'm not a dnd fan so I'm not sure what's accurate....#but I wanted her to be like the white dragonborn durge#so she's not actually a tiefling but meant to be like half human half white dragon#and she's a dragon sorcerer or whatever#so unlike a tiefling she is really. quite cold to the touch#she is chaotic neutral and ends up being redeemed#but once the new patch comes out perhaps I'll do a proper evil run#she has a sort of sorcerer / wizard rivalry with gale but she only argues with him to hide her crush lol#their shipname would be moonweave.... if you.... care....#oh also I headcanoned that she forgot her name after the nautiloid#she had a name given to her by her foster parents although she never really used it#so moon was the name given to her by her companions#because big. moon shaped eyes#gale reads to her and occasionally casts sleep spells to help her sleep through nightmares....#I like almost all the endings with gale so I imagine that they settle in waterdeep for a bit but also pick up adventuring again later on#or god gale cures her and makes her his chosen#thank u for listening. and now I will disappear into the depths and take my little brainrot with me
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sneeping with his legs up over his head for some reason... weird boye
#cats#love the second picture... skrungly sleepy well rested boye face...#since he's an elderly boy now sometimes when he wakes up from a nap he looks a bit scruffy and squinty eyed#Hard to beleive he's like 15 though.. he still looks like a kitten to me.. due to his giant round creature eyes and childlike demeanor#I think it's interesting that like... baby cats are babies. kittens are kittens. and you can tell a cat is like 'young adult' phase#looking from like a few months to maybe 1yr or 2yrs.. but after that they just always look the same to me#a 5 yr old cat is a 10 yr old cat is a 15 year old cat. unless the cat in question is particulalry aged or youthful#I still have so so little energy... it's been icy here this week. like not even FUN but just scary icy even thoguh i lOOOVE the cold#and its my favorite weather. I think it'd be okay actually if I had a woodburning stove/fireplace/hearth thing. literally thats my only#concern with the power going out. I genuinely don't mind stuff like having to go to the bathroom in buckets or cook over a fire or do other#less conveninet things. Its just that if eveyrhtng is electric then you have no way to cook and all of that. well.. and I literally need#background noise to go to sleep lest my ocd sprials become so loud I am slowly driven into maddness.. but a few battery packs or something#and a phone with one downloaded video I could play on repeat is fine for that. I dont need internet. ANYWAY.. so so sad that my fav#orite season ever (winter) is here. and the first cold of the winter is like... just an ice storm that you cant even walk in. I#love like 4 feet of snow where you can play in it and stuff. But just a thin flat sheet of a few inches of ice over every imaginable surfac#is not really playable. the wind speeds are so high and so many trees fall it's actually not that safe to go hang out outside anyway unless#you were in a totally clear open field. which is SAD also because i love ice and high winds. i love to stand out there and get whipped in t#he face with ice crystals and feel like I'm in some dramatic movie or something. but alas.. the threat of being attacked by a falling tree.#I did go out some but again it's like. literallyyou cant walk on it. so I just squatted and dragged myself along the ground lol#One of my stories has a whole section where the main characters are trapped in a deadly cold environment for a week and have to use magic#to survive and etc. etc. so I'm always like.. ouuu.. I should go in the ice.. it's Writing Research actually.. *foolishly gets frostbite*#THOUGH yesterday I went on a harrowing evil journey down a bunch of icy hilly roads to go check on some person's cat because the cat#had been left in the house for like 5 days at that point with nobody to check on them and nobody else seemed to want to do anything#about it (like call all of the neighbors or try to get someone out there) so I just went myself with a roommate who agreed to drive me.#It seemed acting totally normal and I gave it more food and water but.. I am still worried about it.. Apparently the person will be able#to get back to their house tomorrow but.. I dont trust them. But I couldnt take the cat with me because it's like.. a stranger's cat#basically and also no carrier + very skittish.. so I feared if I just tried to carry them bare handed they'd definitely leap from my grasp#and then it'd be like.. sliding on a sheet of ice chasing a cat and so on.. I still think they need to be watched for health issues tho >:|#ANYWAY.... many cat adventures lately... and strange weather... I wish for a normal week without always so many Things Happening.. augh
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#gnnn ^_^#reblog locked bc its wip#a doodley#i need to get better at that rib flare#also i dont think his face is super accurate here but im jst messin around and also i hate i felt i had to clarify that ykwim#like who caresss if he's Off im still learning to draw (him) and one drawing doesnt define me or him etc but idk. idk! idk#ill get better...#thje funny thing about this doodle is im freaking out bc my wrist hurts a bit and i was struggling to draw ppl again#after a few days of Blobbish Furs#so forced self to churn this out before sleeps like oh ok maybe it is just the pain thats affecting me (wrist now hurts a bit more)#ever since that one those feratu doodle ive been trying to give him more like. sinking sagging jowls (?)#as contrast to the bone landmark of his chin#i also have to give him more neck fat/loose skin there ykwim#but also have to learn to draw necks. lol.#ok ill fix dis later im so tired
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