#but also i just. feel left out. and its very stupid but im stupid and so is having to sleep and i never get to do anything fun cause of it
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Snow Angel 11
Chapter 11: fevered Series Masterlist
low - medium honor Arthur Morgan x fem. Reader
Arthur has been living by himself, laying low (for real this time) somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. After the whole Pinkerton and Micah debacle, he has been hiding away, waiting for it all to blow over, occasionally getting letters from the people who still know that heās alive. Heās been alone awhile and at first, he thought he could handle a little loneliness. He has been wrong before. Lucky for him, you look like the perfect thing to break up the monotony.
Warnings: dubious consent, arthurās mental health is kind of not so goodā¦VERY low honor Arthur, darkish fic, a bit of naive reader. Reader has dated and period typical ideals, not very good ideas about men and marriageā¦ if you want reader to be strong and a fighterā¦ this is not for you sorry. suggestive themes. Huge HUGe Voyeurism bit, arthur being a perv š¤Øš huge weirdo energy LMAO small mention of wanting death, WC: 7780 Hello snow angels : ) here is chapter 11!!! this chapter will be from arthurs perspective so very exciting š³ i had a ton of fun just getting nasty with him and writing his fucked up little thoughts š arthur inner monologue was a bit weird at first but im sure ill get better at it by actually attempting to do it LMAO i hope you guys enjoy and pls let me know what you think!!! i wanna thank everyone who has left replies and asks about this series, all of you have been so supportive and amazing, couldnt do it without you guys š„¹š„¹ššš also this ended up way too long so sorry Tags: lots of angst todayyy, no TB, weird but not that toxic relationship, Arthur being a menace.Arthur being rude as always justā¦ low honor arthur as a warning lol - What does it matter if the man who saved your life is a little strange?
It must be dusk falling too soon. Slow deprivation of heat and light; does things to his head, as if that wasnāt half screwed off already. Arthurās fingers clutch the dusty curtain in front of one of two main windows at the front of his cabin; his eyes swear they can seeā¦something out in the treeline. At first he thought of Pinkertons; to collect that bounty they were on about. Why they would follow him to the ends of the earth for that would be beyond him but Arthur had been known to do stupid things for a big payout. And of course, he hadnāt lived this long without a healthy amount of paranoia. Or what he called caution. Or perhaps Charles should have left his ass at the nearest asylum.
But he can sense that heās wrong when nothing comes of it. No gunshots, no desperate shoot out for his life. Just the quiet again. In a minute, heāll look out the window and watch the figure disappear. And heāll shake his head, rub his calloused fingers over his tired eyes. He drops the curtain, pouring another cup of coffee at the silver percolator in the kitchen. He is not losing his grip; he isnāt. Heād leave that to Dutch.Ā
Itās gotten worse with the winter; those strange things he sees from time to time. They make him feel more out of place than he already does. As if thereās something wrong with him, wrong with this moment. The frost grows over the windows like mold.
The summer sun kept the darkness from slipping in and leaking into his vision. But thatās long gone, been gone for a month. Shit weather up here, long dragging winters. Summers that were too short for his liking and an autumn that was beautiful but also short lived. The winter is too heavy now to do much of anything but loop out to the stable and back. Not much sightseeing to do, the same shock white landscape to see everyday.Ā
In spite of how beautiful the mountain is; with its sprawling forest, creeks like liquid glass, the fresh winter airā¦ Arthur finds it arduous to see it. Closing himself inside his cabin is easier. He could go and hunt something, draw the scenery. But was that any better than the fireplace? The comfort and simultaneous unease of staying inside the confines of his new home drag him in opposite directions. And even if his paranoid visions are just residue from another time in his life; he knows there are people who could be still searching, who might remember his face. Bad things had a way of following Arthur wherever he went.Ā
Even more loathsome is the lack of sunlight. The sun disappears around 4 or 5 and it feels like it was midnight by 6. The windows of his wooden cabin blacken like soot, leaving him tired and groggy.Ā
Arthur tries to keep himself going with bitterness like always. Coffee, cigarettes, and alcohol. He thinks the lack of light plays with his head. Itās easy to mistake shadows for ghosts, trusting himself was hard as it was.Ā
Damn snow, cuts to the bone.
The stunning silence surprises him still at these odd moments in the day. Arthur thought that maybe the peace would do him some good. But there was a need that scratched incessantly at the front of his skull. Over and over and over.Ā
He spent a long time being needed by other people. Dutch made him feel needed at the very least. Like he was part of something that symbolized how free a man could be. And he had devoted every shred of himself to the vision that Dutch had for the world. It was all that mattered to Arthur. His fealty was really all he had to give and so he gave it.Ā
God, had he felt the fool on the last day he saw him, when Dutch walked away, as if everything Arthur had ever done was nothing to him. Twenty goddamn years of his life. If he was being honest, he knew that his loyalty was wasted before that day but he had waited to see if the man he knew would emerge. If he could kill that gutless rat and show Dutch the truth but he refused, leaving Arthur with nothing to show for it. Helping John, Abigail and Jack to safety was barely a comfort when he thought of all that he wasted. All he did was hand another man a chance at the life that he wanted.Ā
But it was too late. As always with Arthur. (Everything was always too little; too late) Providing for others was embedded deeply in his being. It was something he had done for years, especially when he decided to get his shit together. He might have dallied, thoroughly enjoying his youth. But he learned (through several extremely painful lessons) why it was important that he pick up the slack. Loyalty isnāt represented by inaction. He hadnāt been all too kind to people but he had kept his comfort that in some part, his work was what kept that camp running. And when that fell apart; he really did try to help the less fortunate.
Really, he was making up for his failures to the people he cared about most. Arthur questioned if he had cared enough. If he did, maybe things would have ended differently between him and the people he harmed by being selfish.
Maybe Dutch put some modicum of power in his hands and Arthur had wielded it badly, went around acting like the cesspool he felt like most of the time. But at the end of the day, the camp ate because of him, they had medicine because of him, hell, they even drank because it was him that brought back more money than anyone else.Ā
There is no one who needs him now. Arthur scrubs his hand over his face then down to rub over his shoulders. Leans his head back. At first it was nice. The independence. No more debt collecting for Strauss, no more worrying if thereās enough food for Pearson, no more looking out for OāDriscolls. He thought he would like only having one person to worry about; he had been lying to himself. Although he still had other things missing from him. Theyāre like phantom limbs. He can feel where they were supposed to be but when he looks down theyāre gone. Hoseaās guidance was missing from him. Even if he was terrible at following it. The sound of the girlās giggling and gossiping. Even Uncle and Swanson ambling around, drunker than he thought was possible. Dutch looming, watching through his haze of maduro sweetened smoke. He keeps looking down but theyāre gone.Ā Ā
The fire crackles and the wind howls; picks up the silence. Sometimes the wind from the flue sounds like the breeze over Flat Iron Lake. The fire doesnāt sound any different than it did when it crackled warmly around a circle of a mismatched band of criminals singing songs together, alongside the chatter and the drunken crooning. When it was the background noise to thick Irish blabbering. The poor kid. He was going places, as most of the younger ones were, he and Lenny would have run that gang when they got past their growing pains. He could have told them that when they were living, that sentiment would have meant something then.Ā
Itās been a year or two, the days sort of connect like train cars and chug along, not because he wants them to but because thatās how life goes. Itās an endless drag, an endless struggle. He canāt see how this is much better than being dead. Arthur Morgan is one of the few people who knows how precious life can be, he spent a lifetime taking it away from people as he pleased.Ā
He tries to savor this peace (as if he knows how to). Tries to remember what it was like, not having any time to himself, always at Dutchās beck and call. Barely any time to take a piss, let alone really rest, really give himself room to be anything but what others wanted. How he loathes those memories. The years he spent dedicating himself to another man's dreams. Watched all those years slip away, ashes in a smoke stack, rising forever upwards until theyāre forgotten.Ā
Arthur refuses to recall how many things he gave up for that life; down to the simple pleasures. Love, privacy, a family. He convinced himself that anything else wasnāt living, that he couldnāt ever be tied down. That old life was justā¦ what he had. There was nowhere else to go and when he was old enough to go his own way, there were kids like him with nothing left; nothing to return to, no one to look after them. He might not have been anyone to look up to. Maybe he was a shining example of what not to be. It was Arthur who was there to keep people in line, to show them how to be killers for Dutchās aspirations. Heās sure he ruined lives more than he taught them anything useful.
Nothing about that life was rooted in anything real, substantial to the world. Pipe dreams. Vague imaginings of living free in the west or some such tropical paradise. What a waste. Just the thought of a secluded island with palm trees on it summons a bitter laugh.Ā
He sits and watches the fire. Tries to ignore the shadow in the corner. It's thin and wavering. Today, it looks a bit too much like Hosea for his taste. Especially when the log on the hearth cracks, it sounds like that ominous cough that followed the graying conniver everywhere he went.Ā
Arthur lights another cigarette. Heās been making (quite frankly, just awful) attempts at rationing and this is his allotted second cigarette of the day. Heās two for five. He curses himself every time he forgets to take the drags and it crumbles to ash too quickly, landing on the rug beneath his boots. He hisses, a singe on his fingers snaps him back to the present moment. It burns his fingers when he forgets that heās holding one entirely, too busy drilling holes in the walls with his eyes. He canāt stand it but he doesnāt have another choice. The silence has the mysterious property of making Arthur lose track of himself. He should have listened but he never learns.Ā
This deep into winter, not too far from the base of Mt. PĆ tu, he canāt just head out on the road and get more cigarettes. The nearest town is a six or seven hour ride and that isnāt happening, not in this weather. He might take Currant out for a light trot so he can get some exercise but he can tell something big is coming soon. The bellows of air from the west have him readying for storm weather. Best to get a move on now if he were to be going out.Ā
Itās dinner now. Heās not sure where the time went but he doesnāt mind too much. Heās got coffee and heās got hot food. Salt pork with potatoes, boiled in the salt water from soaking the corns of salt off the meat. Heās gotten better at cooking at least. Arthur scoffs at the thought of the slop he used to be eating. He takes a glass out and sets it on the counter, along with his fifth bottle of Kentucky bourbon. Heās allowed 6 bottles a month. By anyone elseās standards it might be a lot but where he spent most of his time; around other drunkards and degenerates, itās not enough.Ā
The storm hits full force now, thereās gonna be snow all the way up to the porch by tomorrow morning. But the air inside of his cabin is still and smoky. From the window, he checks the stable to see if the doors stay closed. Itās well insulated so Currant should be fine. The storm will have scared most of the game into hiding away, he contemplates when heāll head back out for hunting. He takes a seat at his plain dining table, spends a while on the same glass of bourbon. The smell of cedar and salt is nice.Ā So is the warmth of his cabin but itās all lost to him. His sense for how fortunate he is to be here and not dead in a ditch is dull. Only he could be the man to crave chaos and blood and the sound of gunshots while sitting on his ass all day, sipping bourbon.Ā
He thinks heāll read a boring book or pretend to keep busy by stoking the fire. Arthur listens to the silence, waiting to hear something but the crackling and the draft from a small crack in the wall. But thereās nothing. He should have listened to Charles. But he insisted that he would be fine. He canāt go back on that now, heās always been fine by himself. Heāll just wear the groove into his leather chair even further like the sorry bastard he is, trying to ignore how small and stiflingly warm the room feels.Ā Ā
The blizzard gets louder and louder. Dozing off on the sofa or in his chair sounds like as good a time as any. But he isnāt exhausted, just annoyingly groggy. Bouncing his knee does not count as activity. Neither does all the fidgeting he does, twitching his fingers, putting his legs up and bringing them back down. He tries to pace a little but wearing treads on the floorboards isnāt doing any good either. He puts his hands on his hips.Ā
Ā He grabs his journal but he doesnāt have much to write. What would he write about? Surely, the exciting things he experiences everyday. Waking up feeling like hot shit on a platter after having too much whiskey was not the kind of thing worth memorializing in his journal anymore. Heās a little past the shame now too, the embarrassment. He lets his fingers feel the blank page, the tooth of the paper.Ā
He lets his hand form images of spring, the point of his pencil worn into a dull tip, recollected as best as possible. Itās nothing but a pale comparison.Ā
Thereās a pat on the door. Itās soft and weak. And just as softly, thereās a voice pleading for help, asking if anyone is inside. A light shining in through the cracks of his world.Ā
He pushes himself up. He knows he hasnāt had that much to drink tonight. The worst possible outcomes play in his head. A ruse from bounty hunters, a local gang taking advantage (not a whole lot better than he would have done only 3 years ago), or another ghost from his past (the ones that play at the corner of his eye). His chest gets a little tight but heās been good at keeping unease from holding him back. Arthur shakes his hand out, placing the book on the mantle of the fireplace.
āWhoās out there?ā Itās an oddity. To hear another voice. One that isnāt his own. Itās a beautiful noise, a pleasing beckon. But heās no fool. He doesnāt even particularly want to be here, why would anyone be here if they didnāt have to be? He grabs his revolver from the small table next to the entrance, one of the only loaded guns in the house. āPlease, sir, I promise itās just me,ā and the earnestness in that voice, he has to believe that promise is true. He has to open the door. With a deep sigh, he stuffs the gun away after a second thought.Ā
The figure is much too bundled up to gather any immediate details. Sheās not very much, standing there out in the cold icy fluff. It isnāt until he nods his head to direct her does she realize she should probably come in. He peeks out at the tracks, just one long line of horse tracks in the process of getting blown over by the harsh wind and the lashing ice. Her struggle up to the porch marked in snow. Arthur scans the tree line for any of those dark silhouettes but theyāve blown away in the wind, theyāre pushed from his mind when he turns back and closes the door shut behind the both of them.Ā
He turns to her, he doesnāt mind the way she shrinks away from his body, skittish and slight. Such a small girl, alone in a snowstorm. He canāt think of a single good reason why she would be going it alone and what she could possibly need more than a night in. She should be warming her hands next to a fire. He could do it for her, could gather them and breathe on them. He tosses that behind him like an empty tin can. He has other things to focus on, mostly trying to get a better look at her and prying an answer out of her as to why sheās out here like this.Ā
Heās more rude than he intended to be but a little rudeness is nothing new to him. āWhat the hell were you doinā out there?ā He has been described as coarse. Intentionally and unintentionally. Heās a little bit like a puffed up rooster when he catches her looking him over, marveling at the size of him. But he lets that fall away, surely she needed no old man assuming things on her part. He knows he aināt much to look at. At his gruff tone, she has no response. The poor thing is so cold, her teeth chatter, whatever she mustered up to yell at him over the storm has run out. Arthur feels a little of his hard veneer chip away.Ā
He thinks to take her coat, covered in frost and not nearly as insulated as he had hoped, itās damp with melting ice now that sheās inside. But he feels like heās dreaming again, peeling her coat off and hanging it on the rack, a faux gentleman. He doesn't know why heās trying to impress but thereās a chance that sheād like a man like that. So he plays, pretends. Heās surely done that before.
When her coat is shed, all of those visions heās been having must have caught up to him.Ā
Jesus, Morgan. Youāve really lost it now.Ā
This disease of loneliness heās been given has surely destroyed the vestiges of his sanity. He must be imagining some young soft handed girl with warm bright eyes and vibrant, shiny hair. Face of an angel, looking hopeful; grateful. Her eyes on him burn like hellfire. He feels strange, watching much too close at how her tongue wets her lips; chapped from the cold. Beautiful; she must be someoneās girl, he hopes for a widow who had lost her husband to the winter frost. Heād gladly pick up where the fucker left off. Pry her from his cold hands. Could just be the loneliness talking. He canāt bring himself to care all that much about it.Ā
Arthur can feel shame eating away at him, like ants at the corners of a scrap fallen off the table. He could have found himself sick to his stomach not too short a time ago. A girl as young as her and he, an old dog with even older tricks have no business together. He knows it too. But he was done with that crushing feeling of dread that ate away at his very soul some days. He had enough of his life to feel awful about. Blood on the floorboards, forgotten promises, disregarded words of affection. Just these moments, where he can hoard the vision that is this girl to himself after so long of giving pieces of himself away.Ā
What has that shame ever done but made you worse?Ā
If there isnāt the will to keep his eyes off the girl then thereās the give in him. Like a levy, it cracks a little, breaks into a million pieces of splintered wood for her. Itās been too long since heās seen something so pretty. All flesh and blood. No graphite on paper; recollections of the women from his past, no Gem of Beauty cigarette card. She carries the smell of soap and perfumed cotton. He thinks it's geranium scented or another delicate flower crushed to pieces to make her smell like she came from heaven too. Itās a weakness he hadnāt culled.Ā
This girl of his; she must be something quite real. His wishful daydream would have diverted to more intimate topics by now, and heād probably imagine a woman heās at least met before. Deciding if heād prefer her to be real or a misty figment of his imagination; he canāt make heads nor tails of it. Arthur knows heād probably end up disappointing a real person more than he could offend a figure cooked up in his mind. He sighs. He turns to the iron stove beside the dining table. Thereās still coffee and he can distract himself from his ridiculous train of thought by clumsily pouring it out for her.Ā
Hopeful bastard.
āYou mute, girl? Asked you a question.ā He knows she isn't but he wants to hear her talk some more. And maybe if she hears what a brute he makes himself out to be most of the time, sheāll turn her nose up at him the way sheās supposed to. Lots of women have, she wouldnāt be the first warned away by his attitude like a bad smell. He could almost let that temptation win. To change who he is at this moment. If only for the selfish purpose of luring her further into his home. However, heās too impulsive and his tongue is too practiced at offending. He has words that are about as gentle as a fist to the nose.Ā
He sets her cup down on the table. Arthur doesnāt wait for her to figure herself out, grabbing another cigarette, swiping them off of the coffee table in front of the fireplace. To hell with the rations. It was a special day after all, a goddamned holiday. He strikes the match on the table, lighting it as she tentatively steps forward. Nearly singes his finger on the match he forgot to put out, wincing and waving it out to put out the flame.Ā
Sheās a pearl, surrounded by the ugly oyster that is the less than stellar home he keeps. Carefully, she steps into his space. Suddenly, heās hyper aware of every thing she could find awful or garish; his hunting trophies or the weapons or the wall. Or the mess of papers on the desk in the corner. It has him gripping his cigarette a bit too tight. Her face hardly moves in any particular reaction, as if used to him already. A simple neutrality is what takes her as she looks at some of the things over the mantle, then her eyes track over the small hallway, leading to the bedroom and some storage. Sheās quick to bring her attention back to him, a soft smile that stuns him graces her face, kicking up some long buried hope of his.
Ā If there was a woman who should be a lady, itās her. She sets herself down on the sofa, neatly keeping her hands to herself, reaching for the cup he set out for her. But first checking to see if it wasnāt for him with a nervous flick of her eyes up to his own. He can hardly ignore how it pulls at him. She holds the blue speckled cup on her thigh.Ā
āNo, Iā¦was getting something for my grannyā¦ā She explains she couldnāt make it to the doctor in the almost fatal weather outside. He has a humorless laugh. How could anyone send her out for the sake of some old hag; already knocking on death's door? Selfless girl but stupid. Defenseless. Her own mother, too. He supposes he can relate. The man he regarded as his father had been the one to let him down the most.
Ā Itās always the ones you trust.Ā
He makes his opinion known to her, maybe he can talk some sense into her.Ā
āI can imagine. What kinda mother sends a pretty thing like you on a fool's errand? You really thought you was gonna bring your olā granny a doctor in this?ā He reprimands her, she might need it.Ā
Little girl gone out by herself. Needs you, donāt she?
What she probably needs is someone to keep her from doing things that risk her life for nothing at all. Doesnāt have to be him but he wonāt turn the thought away. Breaking her open on her marriage bed. Such a pretty thing, a distracted smile into her cup of coffee. Lost in a snow drift because no one cared enough to keep her inside.Ā
And she does nip back. Trying to give a rebuttal but he wonāt have it. He knows heās right, giving his idea of a light hearted joke, his particular brand of poking humor. Heavy handed as always.Ā
āYour granny probably already kicked the bucket while you were out here, damn near gettinā yourself killed.āĀ
Ā Perhaps insinuating her grandmother was already dead wasnāt the best attempt at familiarizing her with himself, her face tinges with an expression heās used to seeing. Dutch said he had a sharper tongue than people thought. Hosea said it was too blunt.Ā
āAnd if it werenāt for me, wellā¦ā sheād be dead. Forgotten somewhere in the snow with a dead horse for company. Such an image should hopefully be sobering for her. Itās a harsh reality but one he would prevent from happening.Ā His hand comes up to scratch at his brambly jaw. She probably thought his slightly overgrown beard was ugly and unkempt. His fingers raise the delicate rolled cigarette to his lips. A nice calming drag helps his nerves calm down, they quit jumping under his skin every time her eyes pull over him, over his scarred face and his crooked nose and his gnarled hands. She looks like she holds something back. Her tongue, he thinks. He wished she would have just come out and said it.Ā
But sheās a polite little thing, stifling herself with another drink of the coffee. The satisfaction on her face and the small droop in her shoulders now that sheās warm makes him smile.Ā
She speaks up with a tremor stuck to her words. āIām sorry mister,ā her nose scrunches a little, doesnāt even know how darling he finds it. ābut I donāt think you gave me your nameā¦āĀ
In a well practiced motion, he leans and ashes his cigarette. It took him a while to remember that he canāt just ash them on the ground anymore. He had floors and a permanent roof now. He tends to get the hang of things at some point. He kicks his legs up on the table, gently so as to not frighten the girl on his sofa, warming herself by his fire, and drinking his coffee. The thoughts tickle that providerās instinct so deeply embedded in his being. His name, he almost forgets all about that, looking into her pretty eyes, blinking curiously. Right.Ā
āArthur. You married?ā He never liked small talk too much. Never one for the surface level bullshit people put on. He watches each of her features form into something like a smile but not. Too nerve-y, falls into something else when she presses her lips together, her brows twitch as they pull together and her fingers scrunch in her gloves.Ā
As if sheād marry you, aināt exactly the pick of the litter, are ya?
His fingers twitch, squeeze his short nails into the give of his palm. Then why does she call him? So enticing, then, looking at him with soft eyes, her legs pressed together and slanted. A real proper girl. Cute thing. Naive enough not to recognize someone like him at first glance. Heās something to be avoided. He wishes he could see a ring glittering on her finger, to ward away the seething heat in his head and his gut. Like a prayer muttered in the presence of evil but he doubted itād be strong enough.Ā
āNo, Iām afraid not,ā her voice is like velvet, the rub of a rose petal between his fingers. Her eyes flick away and her teeth press gently into her bottom lip, sweet looking. No man to look after her besides her worthless father, left her out here to freeze. Alone, really. Or she might as well be. The world has been known to be cruel to women. To his mother, to a woman whose life he had ruined, to Mary even, to Susan and Molly. Well, most every woman he knew. It wasnāt fair but many things in their lives were disparagingly slanted away from them, scales always uneven.Ā
āYoung lady like you, unwed and caring for your Ma, Pa, all by yourself?ā Arthur scoffs, even as he points out her tragedy. āNow thatās just sad, is what it is,ā His fingers push his cigarette into the ash tray a bit too hard, twisting it. And he looks at her blouse, drawing the outline of her with his eyes. Heād put it to paper later. She has a small nod for him. A shining opportunity. But he has to introduce his own dingy reality. The one where he was probably old enough to have been able to hold her when she had just been born.Ā
āYou areā¦ a sight, for an old ugly bastard like me is all,ā Honest words slip from him, too loose for him to keep them behind his teeth. The bashful look crosses over her face makes his lip curl up just a little. She deserved to have someone tell her how pretty she is, who wouldnāt ever let her forget for a second how lovely she looked. Where all of these sappy things come from is beyond him. They ooze into his mind anyway.
Delicately, she sets the cup down on the table littered with other cups he had forgotten to put away and empty packages of cigarettes. He rolls his eyes at himself, of course he doesnāt clean up the day he has company.
āI left my horse in the stable out front, I hope you donāt mind,ā her hands pet at her thighs, he can see where the fabric is damp. Immediately, his mind clicks into place, thinking on how he can fix it. Thatās what the fairer sex truly craved, wasnāt it? Not some puffed up egomaniac. A fixer. A solution. His hands itch to move. To pick up the pieces of her problems and push them back into the shape of something whole. āAināt no trouble,ā the relieved sag in her shoulders tells him that she actually worried about it.Ā
So Arthur does, heās nothing if not a man of action. āWhy donāt I get you somethinā dry to wear? Should be turninā in soon. Gettinā late.ā Heās up before he can hear a protest. But she doesnāt give much of one. In his bedroom, his hands swipe his hair backwards. The small mirror he usually keeps around strictly for shaving catches the light of the small oil lamp.Ā
God, his best years are way behind him. So say the lines at the corners of his eyes, the gouges of his age on his forehead and the delicate webbing of wrinkles under his eyes. All of the evidence of his lifestyle glares back at him. Thereās a ruddiness over the higher planes of his cheekbones from burning them under the sun. Some of the fist and knife fights from his youth have left permanent evidence of his misgivings on his face. Mostly in the form of scars and his odd nose.Ā
You disgust her, donāt go kidding yourself.Ā
If he ever told her the truth of himself, heās sure a girl like her would go running, suddenly not minding the cold. He never was good at keeping beautiful things by his side. They rotted or wilted, or blew away with the wind. His rough fingers rub at the back of his neck. He stares deep into his own eyes. Trying to force some normalcy, some sense into himself but itās all in vain. He grunts, paying mind to other things.Ā
He opens his cabinet, all of the simple clothes he keeps. Something new and not so weathered, or dirty, something clean. Like her. Some nice cotton knit union suit, something he bought when he was preparing for winter. He grips them tight and hesitates at the door.Ā
Just go nā give it to her, and try not to be an idiot; for godās sake.Ā
And the sweet smile he sees knocks whatever sense he had gathered out of him, he can hardly form a word. He just holds the fabric out to her like an oaf. And she rises, as to keep things comfortable, good at reading his brutish signaling, taking them gently and skirting around him. And then sheās in his bedroom. With a mental cuss, he realizes that he forgot to clean the room before he left.Ā
Ah, sheāll find out how pathetic you are at some point. Just a matter aā whenā¦Ā
All those empty bottles and habits heās formed from living alone. Dirty clothes piled somewhere and sheets that probably smelled a bit too much like sweat. Christ. He sighs, pinching his nose. Heās not sure why heās putting so much thought into this. He doesnāt care. Not a care at all. Rightā¦sure.
At first, he distracts himself with preparing food, his leftovers, hopefully enough for her. Doing this is an action which is perhaps a bit selfish. He wants to make it clear that he can give her things she needs. He could figure out wants later.. Typically, he hadnāt thought too much of what women wanted but with her he makes lists, takes out the fine brandy. Sometimes he took after Dutch more than he would like to admit, the man was all too good at forgetting about a womanās wants and needs.
The food hasnāt gone too cold. His hands look for things to do, stirring unnecessarily. Fumbling the dish he places it on. However, the little comfort he gains from activity fades. He can only grip the counter like a vice while staring out the window above his sink for so long. The shades of brown and orange that make up his cabin blur into nothing, the wood grain isnāt as grounding as he wants it to be.Ā
But then his legs drift in the opposite direction, He can hear a soft sigh and the rustle of clothing behind the door. He wets his dry throat. Arthur shouldnāt salivate. He does anyway.
Youāre a creep. Something in his head laughs at him.Ā
Been too long since you had a woman this close to your bed and she aināt even in it with yaā¦cāmon. Cāmon, just open the damn door.Ā
His heart is about to pound his ribs into dust. Heās among the worst of the worst but thisā¦ pushes boundaries. Lines drawn in the sand. Peeping on women wasnāt something he was raised to do. And if he saw something he wasnāt supposed to see, it was an accident.Ā
You aināt that bad.
Heās used to letting the tide wash those out so he can draw new ones. And here is a new one. When his fingers push at the door and he can see the sliver where she bares her own flesh. Rubs her hands up her thighs, stepping out of her clothes. His throat goes dry, his teeth bite bluntly at the tip of his tongue as his jaw gets tense.Ā
His eyes follow the natural plush curve of her body, pale yellow lamp light glancing off of her. Heād kill a man to touch her and heād kill a man for touching her. Devouring every inch, his eyes soak it all up, dedicating her to memory.Ā
Ā And then sheās stepping into the creamy cotton of his clothes. Doing up the buttons at her front. Unbidden by him, his cock fills out, half hard, pressing uncomfortably at just the sight of her. The perfection of her hips, her hair brushing over her back.Ā
The guilt is chewing a hole in his conscience. Itās like there are termites gnawing away at the foundation of whatever restraint he had. Heās felt less disgusting after killing a man, making him choke on his own blood as it fills his lungs. But the reward had never been so delightful. A sweet girl, so trusting, putting her hand to her chest and smiling as she realizes heās there. It doesnāt feel good at all, the realization that heās drooling over her like a mutt. All she has given him is reluctance, nervous glances. She doesnāt touch him or leave her hand to linger. A sweet-as-cream smile is all he has, enough to tide him over. He wants her anyway, needs her to stay. Letting her walk out after this will be next to impossible.Ā
āYou scared me, Misterā¦ā Mister. So polite, an angel delivered unto him. He can feel how his body is tense, tight like a spring. How she doesnāt notice the evidence of his wrongdoing, pressing at the front of his pants is luck or her naivety. His expression must be dazed, a foolish look because all he can do is stare, unable to stop himself. Observing the way his clothes drape over her, exaggerating how much smaller she is in comparison. How stunning sheād look, sprawled over his bed sheets. Precious girl; struggling not to cry when she gets all stretched out on something wholly too big for her. In his mind's eye, she mouths his name, looks at him like all she wants is him inside of her. Right. His name again.Ā
He dips back into his own ease in which he controls all of himself with. He is self assured and well handled. And he certainly doesnāt curl in on himself. Lets her see how big he is, slips back into old habits with the ease that comes with capability. āMorgan, Arthur Morgan,ā his real name, no Kilgoreās or Calahanās. She should know it anyhow, if he has any real intention in giving it to her.
Itās dangerous and itās like she can feel it, somewhere in her body is that base instinct. One she was born with to protect herself from people with bad intentions. But she has another instinct, bares her neck to him. Arthur has always been good at suppressing his hunger, desire for soft pretty things. Settling like sediment on them was the control he had, buried them and buried them and buried them. She's a rainstorm, flooding his mind, washing out his carefully maintained resistance. Leaves his want raw and exposed and actionable. He wants her too much, wants her more than he has any right to.Ā
He feels what little control he has over his urges begin to slip with that thought.Ā Usually, he let them take over. Let whatever pain and anguish in him manifest into pure rage, cold and unadulterated. At first, it revolted him, his actions. And the reputation he built to go along with them. But they began to grow over him like a second skin until they encased whatever hope he had for a better life completely. His self induced hatred hid whatever pieces of him weren't supposed to be his to have and to share. The things he had to hide from himself even to feel like a whole person at any given moment. And he let himself be that awful thing people thought he was. Arthur Morgan. A force of nature.Ā
But he deserved it, didn't he? Everyone should keep their distance anyway. He has a habit of making things worse than when he found them. But all he wanted was for her to be close. Sure, he could play the vulnerable man who could pine after his sweetheart, go out riding after her, guide her home where she would forget all about him. Just a kind man out to help the world.
That's not what he wanted. He wanted her to stay here. Canāt bear the thought of being a good man, sending her away when the storm blows over. In sickness and in health, tilā death do us part. Thatās what he sees when he closes his eyes. Sheās standing in the kitchen, turning the spoils of his hunts into dinner. With that easy smile. His too empty house just wouldnāt feel like a home without her in it. Heās sick, he knows; but heās sure she can cure him.Ā
Arthur Morgan has always wanted more than he could have. He chews on the thought like tobacco. Bitter but eventually he begins to need the taste, to crave it.Ā
āPut somethinā on the stove for ya, man canāt leave no woman hungryā¦ā God, his tongue feels too thick in his mouth and his jaw aches from gritting his teeth too hard. And of course, he lays all his cards on the table. Man canāt leave his woman hungry.
Every little gesture she makes, wrapping her arms shyly around herself, the gentle tilt of her head and the small affirmative gesture she makes is in no way unordinary. But theyāre all dripping with her appeal. How can she smile at him like he doesn't look the way he does? Like he hasn't made the world worse just by existing in it?
Ā He soils her just by laying greedy eyes on her neck, on her nipples which he can make out through the fabric of his union suit. And when she opens her mouth, he knows heāll end up calling her what she is. Sweet and syrupy, soothing on his throat.Ā
āThank you, Mr. Morgan. I really appreciate your kindness,ā Arthur is convinced he heard her wrong. But her honesty is in those radiant eyes, in her easy posture. It must be meant to be, itās not every day a woman talked to him like that. Or talked to him at all. He was perhaps too busy making sure they knew what they would be getting into; dealing with him.Ā
It may just be the respectful manners instilled in her. He supposed her parents had given her that; mannerisms that made her quite the catch. Utter perfection. But really, even that was a disservice. They damned her to him. Makes him see glimpses of a life he could have. Hundreds of conversations, every iteration of the precious babe they'd have together with his hair and her eyes, a son or a daughter. Two of each perhaps. Hours and hours of her gentle, refined voice taking up the empty room. He bows his head as if he can keep his disbelief and joy under the brim of his hat, currently hanging by his front door.Ā
She comes nearer. He can smell her cotton scent, can see the way the light casts around her hair, feathering over her, turning it into gold. His body moves to make the smallest space for her. Hoping sheāll nudge against him. He doesnāt even realize the way heās formed himself to keep her here for just a moment. So close, Arthur nearly loses track of what he was supposed to be doing.Ā Ā
āBeen a long time since somebody called me a kind man, usually it was the opposite,ā apprehension floods her body, her features. Her eyes focus on him, waiting for something terrible to happen. Arthur sees how she bristles. He only meant to be honest but sheās already read between his lines. Smart girl.Ā
He shows her just what he means. Even when he knows better, even if heās never been this far. Itās like he has to touch though. No where uncomfortable, just to be sure she isnāt a sign that heās truly gone from this world.Ā
āPlease, I-āĀ
Her plea goes down his spine. It rakes its teeth over the parts of him that are wrong. That werenāt formed with gentleness, arenāt intricate. Just instinct that heās indulged.Ā
He may not be a good man. But he can behave well enough to keep her. Now that he has the room for her. He doesnāt live in a drafty tent. Heās not a dog chained to the hand that fed him too many years ago. He would never treat her like an object to display or a mistake made in a drunken night of pleasure. He wouldnāt throw this away, this one chance at having something real. Wouldnāt lay waste to this opportunity to fill a hole in him that yawned empty for what felt like eternity. Sheād be his wife and he; her man. A husband. Mister and Missus Arthur Morgan. A crock of shit, he would have said a month ago.
That aināt the hand you been dealt and you know it. Youāve made a mess of things enough.
Ā But nowā¦ it's a dreamy reality. It hasnāt quite taken shape but he can get it there. Determination starts to crystallize over the idea. Sheās something good; doesnāt need him. He could try to make something better too, could make the best of a situation, try to show her the best in him. But he knows itād never be enough for her. He always throws these good things away, always ruins it somehow. But he grips and shakes like a mutt at this idea, gnaws it until it's raw. He can just take what he wants. Done that before, hasnāt he?
Just leaveāer alone. God, you never learn, goddamned foolā¦
His fingers graze over the skin on her neck, uncovered by the collar of the union suit he lent her. Here in the dark of the small hallway, he can swear thereās something in the way she breathes, shudders. āI think you need a man to take care of you, honey, need a man to keep you inside- wouldnāt let you go out alone like this if you was my womanā¦ Lemme show you how a man looks after a girl like you,ā Heās aware that he sounds like a right bastard but heās only telling the truth. His hand settles at her back, like itās supposed to be there. Theyāre meant to be, all he has to do is show her.Ā
ok yall how we feeling LMAO i think his perspective was interesting and fun for me to write but idk if its any good, but i hope with practice ill get more confident š„¹š„¹ bro is a freak sooo yeah it was fun to write him as a freak he is very conflicted about everything and he is super weird but also sexy soooš³ i hope you guys enjoyed this lil backstory on why arthur is a weirdo šššš lmk what you guys think !!
#āļø snow angel#red writes#arthur morgan x reader#rdr2 x reader#arthur morgan x you#arthur morgan#low honor arthur morgan x reader#red dead redemption 2 x reader#tw dark content#tw dark fic#tw dubcon#red dead redemption 2#red dead fandom#red dead redemption two#red dead redemption#arthur morgan x female reader#low honor arthur morgan
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okay, not to burst some bubbles, but i do LOVE kazam.. i just know it would never work out? like i love the idea of kazam... like... okay, so kazam will never be a healthy thing until kaboodle understands herself or understands how to healthily manage her feelings in regards to her lack of ... guidance? all she has is karmas law to guide her morals and actions, but that's a thing she keeps separated from her "true" self. like some omnipotent thing she can't control (she can) [more below cut... this is a YAP fest now]
and on top of that, her mistreatment (intentional or not) of zam, and even other people around her is so? like okay, lets not get upset she killed a naked jepexx, lets not be stupid, the same thing has happened to her before so she just thinks its a thing that happens, its not right but i'll defend her there.
but her interpersonal relationships really bum me out? i think lskab is vv capable of learning, and her parallel of s4 zam w eclipsefed and zam taking that role for her... like zam grew, and so could they but for now? It's understandable why people dont like lskab, because we dont even know who lskab is... like? what does she stand for? what are her morals? she could say it's karmas law and keeping the server going, but is it?
take for example, mawn. zam and kab both love spawn and want preserve it, constantly rebuilding the homes and builds there, but when mawn came around, while yes zam left bcs he didnt wanna fight mapicc, another reason is bcs zam acknowledged people LIKED mawn. they ENJOYED not dying every time they went to mawn. and zam was unwilling to take that from the server
meanwhile, kab wants to keep spawn active, so she created her own, one that actively rivals mawn not just in name but in status, in activity, in function. and she seems to behave so naively about it? she thinks no one will blow it up, but manepear isn't the only one with access to tnt, and sure, re:spawn is above mawn, but it's the same chunks? if the stone and caves below mawn are still mawn, if zams Island is still mawn, then surely, so is re:spawn? i feel like.. this wasn't thought through very well... and beyond that, it's the fact that kab keeps going, "No one, person should own spawn," but mawn belongs to flame AND mapicc... and to a certain extent? even spoke and jepexx
It's just idk... lskab doesn't think through things vv well because she has a certain belief of how people act, and she thinks they wouldn't defy their expectations. meanwhile, zam is someone who thinks and overthinks every action every word, every look he gives up. its to the point that he gives people the bod because he KNOWS them, while lskab decides to trust immediately and then despise... kab is so .... genuinely interesting?
like you either hate lskab or love her, and im like... can we acknowledge her flaws and their misguided nature while also seeing her strengths and kindness and love?? i am talking abt lstwt btw,,, vv scary rn... anyways.. shoutout kazam, i hope they go to prom together and have another falling out bcs, lskab reminds zam why he is so uncomfortable around them!
like i get so annoyed w lskabs mischaracterizations sometimes, but i love that? its so human to expect someone to behave one way and be shocked when they dont. even though i do think lskab and zam could def learn from one another, lskab holds a refreshing pov (being a new player and encouraging zam to build a place for himself [i think?!]) and zam holds very wise advice (for a new player whos going a similar path, zam is a very reliable person rn and a very loyal one too, beyond his paranoia), idk i just think they could be an awesome duo and even though theyre super toxic and fit like a dog and a cat, kazam is vv interesting and i hate that people just dont want to talk about it...
or ideally, in a perfect world shaped in my image, zam and planet go together since bacon won't take planet.... dandelion duo COME BACK PLEASEEEEEE
#lifesteal spoilers#lifesteal smp#saturn sights#kazam#i miss lskazam#i want princezam to suffer#she really deserves it lowk...#not the suffering but to act on it#yay!
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If I had a nickel for every incarnation of princess zelda I think is transmasc. I'd have two nickels
#spitblaze says things#not 2 say ill turn up my nose at any transfem interpretations of EoW zelda#just that i see the amount of ppl who clock her as a man (link but still) when they see her in the cloak and her lack of reaction to it#and the sword transforming her into link and how her voice drops when it happens#and like im *well aware* of the misogyny this series is drenched in and even this entry#zelda cant hold a sword forwver bc shed get too tired. boooo she can pick up her hard light lynels and strut around with em like its NOTHIN#and its stupid and misogynist to not even let zelda be zelda with the sword. shes gotta be link#anyway now that ive made my critiques against the doylist side of things#it feels very telling that the music goes all upbeat and triumphant when zelda gets magically forcemasced#its not diagetic and one is potentially left to infer that its a representation of how zelda feels#and compared to the baseline. its more energetic. more vibrant. empowering and encouraging#and ik link is the courage guy but im like 80% sure this game is pre-oot on the timeline#(other 20% says its on the defeated hero timeline)#but like. the point here is. zelda gets genderbent temporarily and the implication from the music and how it plays that she enjoys it#the bar is on the floor. i know. but you cant just give me a girl being mistaken for and turning into a boy and seemingly enjoying it#without expecting me to go š¤Øš³ļøāā§ļøāļø#loz#also link is a girl. it has to equal out#they r t4t transhet in every timeline <3
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wait. wait. wait. ive been staring at ur latest comic for awhile now and i think i've noticed something about the colors? which are amazing, first of all- just gotta get that out there cuz i adore that soft pink and deep green combo
but i just realized that throughout most of the comic u use both in equal parts it seems. to separate bg + fg and such, to highlight characters/objects, etc.
but then when vash gets back to their room, all the walls are that dark green. and, bit by bit, the pink totally falls off. by the end, it's nothing but constant dark green as vash starts to cry
but then wolfwood slams in and he's backed by that soft pink. and suddenly the comic is nothing BUT pink. soft lines and whites and gentle pink tones EVERYWHERE to just. SO tastefully highlight the little details.
LIKE. WAS THIS INTENTIONAL?! i almost wanna guess that it wasn't since all those green panels w vash crying are all closeups focused on his expression so it makes sense to just put the simple green behind it and all attention on him so the pink just isn't Needed
BUT AT THE SAME TIME THE EFFECT IS SO MASTERFUL THAT I WANNA BELIEVE IT WAS ABSOLUTELY INTENTIONAL
HEHE..... first of all, thank you for looking at my comic so closely, THAT'S LIKE... REALLY SWEET and a huge compliment to hear, thank u thank u
and yes, it was intentional, especially more towards the end!!! in general, the colors are meant to serve as a mood indicator, so a balance of them in a scene would just mean a neutral "okay-ness" and have a functional serve to separate background / foreground / subject matter... deep green signifies introspection or incoming sadness (especially on pg5 when vash cries), and pink signifies wolfwood, which, not an emotion but he is happiness, someone that helps vash lose his doubts in a matter of seconds -- which is why those last few pages are just pink white and lines, and the panels are gone for the majority of it. i wanted to show their unity and togetherness!
while vash still has his issues of just Not saying anything about his loneliness, his feelings are alleviated temporarily with wolfwood's presence and he's just grateful that his paranoia didn't become true, and that wolfwood is genuine, true to his word, when he means he'll be following vash/staying with him. even though it's mission-bound, vash would probably still feel guiltily comforted by that fact.
I'M GLAD IT WAS PARTICULARLY EFFECTIVE IN THIS COMIC because i definitely could've pushed it more... i figured it was a minor thing that not a lot of ppl would care for, but more ppl enjoyed it and noticed the colors than i thought, so i'm glad it worked out!!!
#asks#thank you for sending this!!!#and for being so observant and putting it into words -- its really sweet!!!! hehe#ok this bit here is a bit off topic but. i forgot to mention in my original tags. very minor hc but on#p4 when i drew their beds -- ww bed is the left one vash is the right one and his blankets are all folded#bc i feel like vash would develop habits of being able to leave somewhere quickly + abruptly. so he cleans up after himself#everytime he wakes up and has to leave for the day. i feel like he's ran into enough trouble that he's grown accustom to making#sure he's ready to dip whenever necessary. and id imagine he'd leave payment if he books a room for more than a night so when he has#to leave suddenly - the room owners get their pay still. just preparing stuff in advance to not make trouble for the kind ppl#that houses him. idk its a small thing! i just recall those times in the manga where after accidentally destroying a part of the town#vash makes sure to join the clean up crew and help build things up lmfao he takes responsibility. its cute#ww sees him do this for the first time once and goes āthat's stupid. we're not going anywhere and we're staying for the 2 nightsā#and then he'd realize soon enough that they do have to prepare to book it at any random point of the day if vash gets caught up in trouble#regardless he doesn't fold it all up like vash does since its not habitual to him and in a way hes testing vash to NOT run off and do smth#thatll get him in trouble during the day. rare hopefulness. when they start sharing beds wolfwood doesn't let him fold up the sheets#very minor thing hc sorry for rambling in This space hub all of a sudden.#in the comic also vash gets pink bg panels every time he calls out to wolfwood. happy happy#it's really not a long enough comic to push those aspects... but im glad it was noticed at all -- but ok ok im done done
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im gonna complain sorry i need to get this out of my brain since ive been thinking about it recently. leaving it in the tags so you can ignore it or whatever
#i just. feel like im missing out on everything recently#everyone else is having fun with each other and their friends and im just. here for no reason#timezones fuck me over so intensely on like a daily basis and its so fucking sad like#the society is demanding me to be a responsible human being which means sleeping - and while i do that everyone else has fun#yall get to watch things together. yall get to chat about things together. yall get to do shit in real time#like im not blaming anyone for having fun good for you im glad youre enjoying yourselves and everything!!#but also i just. feel left out. and its very stupid but im stupid and so is having to sleep and i never get to do anything fun cause of it#i never get to watch stuff live. i never get to participate in anything. and when i maybe do its an anxiety situation so i have to pass#i think thats why wrestling is rn a very sore spot for me. i havent really watched anything in a while cause i feel so left out#like im always behind. and i know it shouldnt matter but when i see everyone interacting with live blogs and such and i know i cant do that#and theres no point doing that afterwards#and the only things i can reasonably live blog are things that nobody else watches or cares about and im just#mostly anyways i only put my time and effort into something that only i care about#and im not gonna lie it kinda hurts. like ofc i cant ask anyone else to care but i just feel so fucking lonely sometimes#sorry im just. not in a good spot. honestly i probably never will be cause none of this is going to change cause i cant change it#and i cant and wont ask anyone to change it cause thats not good or fair or anything to anyone#i shouldnt even post this this is so stupid and im such a stupid little baby but im just...#im so fucking lonely sometimes and i see everyone else being able to do things and have fun and enjoy themselves. without me#im so lonely and im so jealous and it just fucking sucks okay#im gonna go now. im sorry#night is an absolute mess on main
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It seems to really be hitting my mum just how young she was when she had me in light of her upcoming birthday
#+Extra#like on the one hand she feels old cus its a big birthday coming up but on the other hand it seems to only just be hitting her just#how young she is to have a 22 year old daughter which is frankly old news at this point she was always too young just in denial#we had a very odd conversation last night in which she started off by saying that my soon go be 18 yr old brother and the 19 yr old#definitely arent responsible enough to watch the kids for a couple of hours while she gets her hair but then that its ridiculous that an#under 18 yr old (her phrasing) cannot open a bank account without a parent because she was entrusted with an entire human being at that#age and so he should be able to open a bank account by himself and i was listening like no thats the wrong conclusion its the opposite the#adults in your life shouldve been more concerned about you also what a revisionist recount saying that no one was concerned about you#having a baby at the age and it was probably because my dad was an adult so they felt they had no need to be concerned when i know all of#your family tried to express concerns that you wouldnt hear which led to years of animosity during my childhood staff at your college also#expressed concern as did your friends you just dont wanna admit that now. also how can they not be trusted with the kids for a couple of#hours when youre 15 minutes down the road as basically adults when 1 is going off to uni in September supposedly and the other has#basically moved out already and i was left entirely alone with the kids at younger than 15?#the sexism and gender stereotyping continues to perplex me#anyway hoping no one got to the end of this rant to add that im once again reminded that my birthday is actually just a day for my mum to#mourn the youth she missed out on by having a baby stupid young
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really awesome day to think everythings going alright and then you wake up and get hit in the face twice in a row
#vent#why am i suddenly the worst person to exist to everyone again for having bpd and complex emotions. 2023s coming back in a new way#like oh wow Have you ever thoguht of how Aria Feels. Have you ever thought to fucking talk to me about this . god.#this specific group of people keeps making me miserable and then complains about me being miserable about it. like yea. bc that makes sense#maybe i shouldve left all of you huh. maybe i shouldve done that. i need to be the one with agency over my emotions for fucking once.#everyone walks all over me and expects it to do nothing. keeping my fears in check and keeping my confirmation biases very much there.#lua if you see this that was entirely fucking unwarranted. im not some fucking evil person. i just have BPD. we tried.#i dont like venting to you for every single little thing either and it makes me miserable too! it wouldve been nice if you said that first.#all of it made me miserable but thats all we ever fucking talked about.#i really fucking tried just to get kicked down and spit at again for something so stupid and then the remaining 3 also left again.#what am i supposed to do. what do you want me to do.#i genuinely tried. i always wanted to try but just got left with questions and unexplainable emotions. and now everythings like this again#no explanations. nothing to give me any benefit of the doubt. just no youre evil and awful for this thing that we all also do but#were all going to blame YOU for not being honest about your emotions. and then i start being very open about my emotions#and people hate that too. literally what do you fucking want from me anymore. have i been anything other than a strawman to any of you#just an ideal to chase . just whatever you want to form me into ?#i am not a saint and never claim to be or claim to be the best or even most reasonable opinion. but you should all maybe evaluate that your#extraordinarily comically bad at anything regarding this. better at communicating my fucking ass.#i dont want to be at either of you twos fucking whims anymore. i dont even want to be at my own.#leave me the hell alone. observe me at a distance. just dont fucking talk to me until you have something better to say.#i did not need that. it is unfair to me. not now. not any time. not near my birthday not near new years. i did not need this suddenly today#because people dont communicate anything to me. and then expect me to be fine to be slapped in the face with it like its expected.#you people fucking suck.#i feel abused by fucking everyone. i am not a real person to any of you and never will be. nobody cared about my personhood#and you know what. im fine with that. because neither of you are here anymore.#literally i am mentally not built for people who made me miserable then blaming me for my misery . or the most stupid friendgroup drama of#the century i am built for playing touys and having fun Fuck u all forever get out of my life FOREVER !#itll probably come back again and then ill be mentally susceptible to this bullshit again but for now literally just . fuck off.#i dont want to be in your ouroboros ( lol ) of endless misery feedback loop bullshit anymore#like woww i have problems but Wow. Its almost like you two made it worse? Idk! Just a thought.
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NNN Hcs With The Hashiras
š„A/n: the title says it all!! (i didnt include muichiro for obvious reasons)
š„Cw: smut, dirty talk, praise, degradation, breeding kink (rengoku + sanemi), squirting (mitsuri)
š„minors dni
š„Pairing(s): Hashiras(minus muichiro) x reader (seperate)
Giyuu:
when you first suggested the idea of NNN to giyuu, he was kinda confused
why would you participate in a competition not to have sex? did you just not want to have sex with him?
after some gentle reassurance and explanation however, he agrees surprisingly quickly
not only is giyuu ridiculously patient, he also has incredible self restraint
he would make it to the end of the month, but i definitely think he would have "almost" moments
when the month is over, hes begging you to fuck him
claims that hes waited so long, why should he have to do any work?
the minute it's december first hes waking you up, mewling and grinding on your thigh half-delirious as hes whining in your ear, begging you to take control
teasing him throughout the month will only make him more determined to last longer, if only to inflict the same suffering onto you
giyuu is very, very sensitive and you can use that to your advantage in a variety of ways
he gets really blushy when you tease him, and its only amplified during NNN considering he can't even get himself off
he also has a tough time ignoring it when he gets horny, he just feels like the type to be soooo sensitive and it's torture when he can't even jack off to relieve the painful ache in his pants
Giyuu pinned you down, his chest flush with your back as his cock rubbed against your hole. He was a panting mess, shaking above you as he pushed inside slowly. One of his hands tangled itself in your hair, forcing you to look over your shoulder as he began to thrust into you steadily. Soft moans and whimpers filled the room, accompanied by the sound of skin slapping again skin. You could feel your orgasm building as a coil tightened in your stomach, and Giyuu let out a soft groan, signaling he was close as well. You clenched around him tightly, your release ripping through you as you clawed at the sheets. Above you, Giyuu tossed his head back and whispered your name like a prayer before cumming as well, filling your hole with his dripping seed. "Giyuu- ungh- wha-" you gasped, drool spilling from your lips as he sped up the pace. You had no time to catch your breath, and your hips jerked from overstimulation. "baby, i've waited a month, please?" Giyuu whispered in your ear, eyes blown wide with lust. You knew that you probably weren't going to be getting up anytime soon.
Tengen:
im sorry but he is not making the month
he'd last two weeks at best
you and his wives would probably all team up against him, and this man is unable to restrain himself when it comes to you
quickest way to get tengen to fold? lingerie
just the sight of you in some flashy, lacy undergarments has him practically dragging you to bed
teasing him while wearing lingerie? hes gone.
"fuck the stupid month," he'd grumble, throwing you over his shoulder and slapping your ass for good measure
tengen would be rougher than usual, hes pissed at you for teasing him after all
"hey!" you gasped, squirming in Tengens grip as he practically dragged you inside of the house. You and the other wives had been been training outside when all of a sudden Tengen had snatched you up, throwing you over his shoulder as the other wives followed behind you. Your husband ignored your indignated cries as he brought you to the bedroom and tossed you unceremoniously onto the mattress. Maki, Suma, and Hinatsuru joined you on the mattress, and you turned to look over your shoulder at Tengen. "giving up already?" you giggle, crawling over to the other wives at the head of the bed. Tengen Tengen smirked and slid up to you, pulling your undergarments off in seconds as your head rested in Hinatsuru's lap. Maki and Suma began to grind against eachother to your left as Tengen's breath fanned over your bare skin and thighs while Hinatsuru ran her fingers through your hair. The five of you were in for a long, long night~
Shinobu:
Shinobu is definitely making it, no questions asked
she's patient enough to wait the month, however she will be pissed when you deny her
would totally try to get back at you, Shinobu would wear lingerie under her uniform and flash you when nobody was looking
she would run her hands up and down your thighs during hashira meetings, fingers ghosting so close to where you want her but not quite
she would enter a room and sit on your lap, kissing you senseless until your grinding up against her and then walk away like nothing happened
she's teasing YOU
i don't think theres any way to get her to give in, but at 12:01 on December 1st your waking up to her head between your legs
she would make you work for every orgasm, edging you until your sobbing
"you made me wait for so long, shouldn't i make you wait a little too?"
Shinobu smirked, gently swiping away the tears streaming down your cheeks. She placed a finger on your tongue so you could taste the salty drops, and you let out another needy sob. "Are you getting desperate already, little butterfly?" She cooed, thrusting her fingers deeper inside of you. Another mewl escaped your lips as she fucked you dumb on her fingers, stretching you open and prodding the place inside you that made you see stars. You could feel the coil in your stomach tightening, and you whimpered. "Pl-please Nobu, 'm gonna cum, please lemme cum-mgh-" Shinobu smirked at you, smacking your core lightly as you squirmed beneath her. She leaned down to whisper in your ear, caressing your sides slowly. "Shh, c'mon doll, I know you can take it. You made me wait a month to ruin you, didn't you? You can handle waiting a little longer to come~" Your body quaked at her words, soft sobs and pleads filling the air as you begged her to let you cum this time. Shinobu only shook her head, smirking and removing her hand as your orgasm begins to fade.
i went off there for a sec omg
Rengoku:
i think he would make it without too much trouble
i really don't think his sex drive is super high, and hes pretty patient as it is
so yea i def think he'd make it
unleeeesssss you teased him
listen, Rengoku LOOOOVES to please you
if you bat your lashes and play your cards right, he'll fold you in half and fuck you senseless less than a week into november
it would be the roughest, sloppiest sex yall ever have bc once Rengoku is done, hes done
He'll fuck you every day of the damn month just because he wants to, and be prepared bc this man has STAMINA
normally rengoku focuses solely on your pleasure, hes def the service dom type, hoowwweeeeverr, depending on how much you teased him, hes gonna be sm rougher
i also think rengoku would last the entire month just to irritate you because, lets face it, hes much more patient than you
just imagine begging him to fuck you at the end of the month, pleading with him to pay attention to you after he's deprived you of pleasure for so long... how could he say no to you?
the sound of skin slapping against skin and muffled groans filled the room as Rengoku pressed you down into the mattress. Rengoku leaned down, close enough to whisper in your ear, "fuck baby, can i- can i lift your legs up higher?" you nod, head foggy as he tossed your legs over his shoulder. Rengoku adjusted for a second, folding you over and beginning to thrust slowly. Your hips rocked against his as you clawed at the mattress, the new position allowing him to go so much deeper than before. "mhm baby, just like that. gonna make you feel so good after you waited so long, gonna fill you up so nice.."
Mitsuri:
i think Mitsuri would last ab a week before crumbling
She'd be so embarrassed about it, all blushy and shy
you haaave to tease her ab quitting so early, you'll get the most delectable whimpers from her<3
Mitsuri folds from MINIMAL teasing its almost like she wants to lose
once she gives in tho, please pamper her. teasing is okay but PRAISE HERā¼ļø
shes a pillow princess at heart and will def want u to take care of her after u made her wait for sooo long
MITSURI IS SO SENSITIVE, AND ITS DEFINITELY AMPLIFIED AFTER SHE HELD BACK FOR SO LONG
she cries sm more easily during sex after being teased for so long, and it's impossible to NOT overstimulate her (she loves it)
tease her and praise her, overstimulate her and watch as she falls apart~
fat tears streamed down Mitsuri's pink cheeks as you pumped your fingers in and out of her slick heat, mesmerized by the sloppy sound it made. her legs trembled and her lip quivered as she sobbed from the overwhelming onslaught of pleasure, and you leaned up to kiss her on the cheek. "d'worry baby, im gonna make you feel all better," you coo, smiling as she whimpers. your fingers are coated in her slick, and her hips grind down onto your fingers with every thrust. "need you.." she whispers, reaching out to pull you closer. "kiss..?" she whimpers, large, teary eyes staring into yours. You chuckle, unable to deny her. "Of course~ how could i forget?" you kiss her slowly and sensually, running your tongue along her bottom lip and gently grabbing her jaw as you pushed your tongue inside her mouth. Mitsuri whined at the feeling, clenching ariund your fingers as her tongue collided against yours. her chest heaved, perky breasts bobbing as the coil in her stomach tightened. you could tell she was close, and moved the hand holding her face to massage one of her breasts as you deepened the kiss. your fingers curled inside her, pressing against her g spot as your thumb circled her clit. instantly, Mitsuri squealed, gushing around you and squirting onto your hand as she writhed in pleasure. "t-too much!!" she gasped, pulling away from the kiss as a thin trail of spit lingered between your mouths. "was that worth the wait baby?" Mitsuri blushes, nodding profusely.
Obanai:
i genuinely think obanai would last like
a week at most
im sorry but this man worships your every move, and theres NO way he can deny you anything
you tease him once and hes already bending you over, fucking you senseless as he bites harshly into your neck
or hes whining, dragging you on top of him and begging you to fuck him just right, ride him until hes a sweaty, needy mess
sex with Obanai after NNN would definitely be much rougher, he just cant hold himself back
he NEEDS to ravish you
you gasp as Obanai's cock sinks into you, his thick length filling you up as he spreads your legs. one hand rests on your inner thigh, the other entwining your hands together as he presses hasty kisses to your collarbone. your back arches off of the bed as he bites down hard on the sensitive skin, a dark hickey left in its wake. Obanai travels upwards, his teeth grazing your neck and shoulders as he kisses and nips at the exposed skin. his warm breathe flushes against your beck as he begins to thrust in and out of you in a brutal pace, the sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room, accompanied by your moans and whines. Obanai pants, his hand moving from your thigh to fondle at your chest. "can't believe you made me wait this long, bunny.." he murmured softly in your ear, nipping at your earlobe. "fuck, i missed this pretty hole..."
Sanemi:
he likes to think could make it the whole month but "doesn't care about a stupid ass challenge"
he cant make it the whole month hes too whipped for you
i think he would either last like. 15 minutes or two weeks theres no in between
Sanemi would either fuck you out of spite immediately after november starts or genuinely try but give up pretty early on and make up some bs excuse ab how he "doesnt even care"
either way, hes not making it š
prepare yourself, cuz the sex is gonna be ROUGH
Sanemi totally has a breeding kink, and the thought of NNN definitely ignites a feral need to fill you up- not a drop of his cum is wasted, hes bringing you to at LEAST 4 orgasms, and hes coming at least twice as well. hes also gonna finger fuck his cum back inside you, maybe he'll use a plug too just for the satisfaction of knowing that your filled up to the brim with him...
congrats!! u have a feral boyfriend
"s' too much!" you sobbed, tears streaming down your face as Sanemi fucked into you harshly from behind. his hips snapped against yours as you whimpered, face down in the sheets. Sanemi gave a swift slap to your ass and you sobbed, mewling as he fucked into your weeping hole even harder. "oh yea? shoulda thought of that before tellin' me about this stupid challenge," Sanemi hissed, thrusting deeper into your cervix as you keened. "im- m' close-" you hiccuped, warm, wet tears slid down your face as he looked into your glossy eyes. "oh yea? i thought it was t' much, doll- fuck-" he gasped as you tightened around him, the sound of his hips slapping against your ass was amplified even more as you came with a squeal. you came hard, coating Sanemi's cock and the bed below in your juices as your eyes rolled back into your head. "fuuugnck- doll your so tight- im coming too, don't waste a fucking drop of this- its what you get for makin' me wait.."
Gyomei:
i think Gyomei would make it
honestly i dont think he has a super high sex drive, and as much as he wants to please you, i think he would make it through the month with ease
hell at the end of the month hes praising YOU for lasting so long eithout him (in a genuine way, not in a condescending way ofc <33)
hes pretty chill when it comes to sex, but after NNN Gyomei might be a little rougher
he has STAMINA tho
prepare to be overstimulated bc he is MAKING SURE you are blissed outt af by the end
if your not a whiny mess in subspace then Gyomei's not having it
hes praising you for lasting so long, making you feel so good while bringing you to climax after climax for HOURS
he miiiiight fold if u bEG him but its a small possibility.
Gyomei held you in his lap as you squirmed, fucking yourself on his cock as you buried your face into his neck. "mnghh- forget how big you were.." you whine, grinding your hips sensually against his. Gyomei chuckles, brushing the hair off of your forehead and kissing you gently. "do you remember how many times you've come, little one?" your brow furrowed, your head felt foggy as you tried to remember. one of his hands squeezed your thigh reassuringly, and you whimpered, eyes rolling back slightly as you tightened around his cock. Gyomei hummed, taking in your overstimulated state as he brought you closer to release. "im so proud of you little light, you lasted the entire month," he cooed, rubbing soothing circles on your back as the coil in your stomach tightened. "let me reward you, my precious dove~"
RAHAHAHAHAHAHA ITS DONE ITS DONE ITS FINALLY DONE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HOLY FUCK HOLY SHIT ITS DONE KTS DONE ITS DONE I LOVE LIFE HALLELUJAH AJSHSAJHAJAAAJAA ITS JANUARYYYYY LMFAO
#demon slayer x reader#kny x reader#giyuu tomioka x reader#giyuu x reader#giyuu tomioka#tengen x reader#tengen x wives x reader#tengen uzui#shinobu x reader#shinobu kocho#giyuu smut#tengen smut#shinobu smut#rengoku x reader#rengoku smut#mitsuri x reader#mitsuri smut#obanai x reader#obanai smut#obanai iguro#sanemi x reader#sanemi smut#sanemi shinazugawa#gyomei x reader#gyomei smut#gyomei himejima#kny x male reader#kny x you#kny smut#demon slayer smut
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GABI HOW COULD YOU POST THAT ABOUT STEPBRO JAKE YOU KNOW stepbro enha are my weakness (the thought plagues my brain ALL the TIME!!!!) and i was thinking abt it (again.. no one is surprised.. and ur post + the no doubt mv only fuelled my craziness) so. iām gonna need to set the scene w corporate worker intern blah!jake. followed in his dads footsteps because the money is good and heās got a knack for the math, but that doesnāt mean the job itself isnāt GRUELLING :( so when his dad marries your mom and introduces him to the sweetest little stepsister it genuinely feels like heās been given a gift. youāre eager for a big brother to gossip with ān jakeyās just so accommodating and lets you sit on his thigh and babble about whatever you want as long as your pjs are thin enough that he can distract himself guessing at the colour of your panties. he canāt help himself from resting his hands on your waist and subtly repositioning you, grinning when bouncing his thigh jusā a little has you squirming and stuttering! he definitely makes pervy comments too :( calls you his wife ān jokes about marrying you because coming home to you lounging in his bedroom is something that gets his slacks all tight in the front! he asks for a kiss on the cheek goodbye if youāre up early enough ān expects one when he gets home ā you brush it off as accidental when he turns his head too fast ān you catch his lips instead. buys you the prettiest things and insists on spoiling you with shopping sprees that have him ruining his expensive boxers at the thought that youāre being mistaken for a couple :( like This Jake fully embodies the mean bully you talked abt in your post whenever heās had a tough day or something you do ruins his fantasy ā he likes thinking about you as his pretty little wife, not his slutty stepsister prancing about in the clothes he paid for, dolling yourself up for some stupid date! (as always, this is crazy long but i think you might expect this from me now.. also referring to me as ur angel baby did irreparable damage to my sanity gabi ām blushing and twirling my hair rn i cant)
ā lots of love ān kisses, ur fairy anon
warnings: stepcest + creampies + masturbation + handjob ment. + daddy kink + orgasm denial + dacryphilia + pregnancy ment
š: m gna eat u omg r u kidding me im so obsessed with this, my brain is melting n im drooling šµāš«
calls you his wife ā¦ yeah this is soā¦ ām moaning. he totally would, n heād even get u a cute little ring to wear, fantasizing about how itād catch the light when he gets you to stroke his cock šµāš« jerks off n nearly moans your name while thinking abt his cum leaking from his tip onto your ring :( maybe youād even be a good little wife n clean them off with your tongue
god forbid you take the ring off, though! your husband stepbrother is absolutely livid when he finds out that youāve left it on your vanity rather than keep it on for your date; n yeah its actually Very hot seein ur big brother all mad, his button up shirt undone at the top, sleeves rolled up n displaying his thick n veiny forearms, and his hair is all messed up as he plays the role of an overprotective big brother (is it in ur head or is he sounding a bit possessive?) but all you can picture is tugging on it while he fucks you, n youāre beating yourself up mentally for even thinking about your brother in that way (little do you know he needs to put a baby in you)
something you do ruins his fantasyā¦ r u joking me.. sure this can go with the lil date idea but.. jake getting genuinely upset when you call him your brother šµāš«šµāš«šµāš« would your brother tease your virgin cunt every time he had you in his lap? or press kisses to your neck while running his hands over your thighs, daring to pull at your sleep shorts n shallowly slide in your needy little pussy? either youāre even more of an airhead than he thought, or you enjoy watching him struggle to maintain his composure because thereās no way you dont know he wants you
he would absolutely love the two of you being mistaken for a couple n jakeyās quick to speak over your denial, a sweet smile on his face as he replies with a āthank youā to every person that calls you two a cute couple <333 when you ask abt it he just kisses your cheek (a bit too tenderly to be in a stepsibling kind of way) n says its just ātoo much of a hassleā to correct everyoneā¦ n even asks you if itās such a bad thing for people to think heās ur bfā¦ are you embarrassed of him?
when jake finally gets you desperate enough for him, he has so much fucking fun making you say filthy things n has even more fun watching you squirm at his dirtytalk.
his pace is unbearable, youāre unable to do anything but take it as he batters your cervix with his fat cock n manipulates your body, pushing n pulling your legs to feel you even deeper. ādāyou like havinā my cock inside your tight cunt? does it feel good, princess?ā he questions, voice thick with arousal.
but youāre too fucked out to reply, of course you like it but thereās no way you can form a coherent sentence as he keeps up the brutal pace, his tip hits your cervix with every thrust n heās relentless. youāre so close, so fucking close andā¦
oh. itās gone. your impending orgasm fades and it has your face crumpling, tears pouring down your cheeks at the lack of stimulation. whyād he stop? why why why why wh-
āi asked you a question, angel. yāgonna be a good girl n answer me?ā a sniffle from you, and then: ājakey! please donāt stop, ām sorry ām sososo sorry please fuck me! pleaseplease it feels so fuckinā good! love my brotherās cock so much-ā he cuts you off with a harsh slap to your tit, a sneer forming on his face at your surprised gasp.
āām not your fuckinā brother. god,ā he laughs humorlessly. āam i gonna have to fuck you until you get it through your dumb little head?ā
jake pinches your nipple between his fingers n twists it enough to cause a jolt of pain to shoot through you n make your walls clench around him. āiām not your brother,ā he thrusts into you harshly with each word. āān youāre not my fucking sister, got it?ā
your bottom lip trembles, eyes screwed shut with pleasure as he resumes fucking you n jakeās brain is foggy, he canāt believe heās ballsdeep in your pussy n before he knows it, he spills his deepest desire to you
āyouāre my wife,ā jake sighs, pressing his forehead to your own. āsay it. say youāre my wife.. my sweet little wife, god look at you. takinā my cock so well, ās like you were made for meā
itās not long before your orgasm builds yet again, white hot pleasure consuming you n his words send you over the edge, pussy spasming n clamping down on his thick cock until you cream around him.
āām your wife, jakey! ām your wife, yourwife yourwife, fuck. fill me up, knock me up, jakey.ā you wraps your arms around him to pull him close, pressing your lips to his ear before whispering, āām gonna make you a daddy.ā
jake cums with a deep, guttural groan, his teeth clenched as thick, hot cum spurts from his cockhead and fills your womb to the brim. legs wrap around his waist to keep him inside you n it takes him a second to realize your lips are moving n youāre talking to him. āsorry princess, whatād you sayā¦?ā
you giggle n bat your lashes up at him, still wet from your tears, i said, ādo you wanna go again?ā
#ā”.signed. sealed. delivered.#ā”.the honeypot#ā”.sweetheart: my fairy#m gonna CUMMMMMNN#hes so sexy i want him to be my stepbrother#actually go away stepbro jakeā¦ i need to makeout with my sweet angel baby <333333333333 hehe#u r so cute i need to smooch u rn#missed u sooooososo bad my fairy u will always match my freak i adore u#enhypen#jake sim#sim jaeyun#enhypen x reader#enhypen smut#enhypen x reader smut#jake sim x reader#jake sim x reader smut#jake sim smut#sim jaeyun x reader#sim jaeyun x reader smut#sim jaeyun smut#š.breeding#š.stepcest#š.daddy kink#š.dacryphilia#š.masturbation#š.handjob#š.pregnancy
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[4.4k] Pairing | bsf!Luke Hughes x bsf!afab!reader Summary | luke and y/n are tired of feeling left behind and help each other outā¦but in the company of their friends. but it makes a good story, right? Warnings | 18+ smut, kinda slow start, best friends to lovers, long haired luke!!! Bc I love long hair, umich!luke, (basically public) fingering, swearing, appearance and sex insecurities, tiny bit of angst but not really, mutual pining, making out Authors Note | im in such a luke brainrot itās painful, this was supposed to be a blurb but I canāt control myself but anyway, this is my first hockey fic i hope its alright. Based on this after hours post! This is a work of fiction, please remember that my dudes
Luke felt like a creep. But she looked so at peace sitting on the lake's docks, feet dangling and toes skimming the water's surface. While she was nothing but a silhouette in the distance, the sunset cascading on the horizon complimenting her like a portrait in a museum. He also wasnāt sure on how long heād been standing at the sliding patio doors, the UMich boyās voices blended out into a white noise while his mind wandered to crevices of thoughts heād been avoiding for months, but anything to escape Ethan and Lucaās conversations about girlfriend stories. Yes, he was happy for them, found it cute in fact, but when was it his turn to have that chapter in his life? He could have it if he didnāt panic and fumble at every party they threw, just a bit more alcohol and maybe heād have a chance but like all victims of tragedy, no one would ever be her. Could ever replace her or even substitute her. So, while his curls bounced in the gentle breeze, Luke Hughes admired the only girl in the University of Michigan thatās ever made his heart ache and contort in bittersweet ways.
With a firm slap to his back, Lukeās daydream snapped back to reality, to Dylan Duke grinning and wiggling his eyebrows. The most painful thing Dylan had to endure since he met Luke was watching his friend follow y/n like a lost puppy begging for attention, and there was nothing more he wanted than for the two to just kiss already. They almost did, once, at someoneās birthday party when they both nursed a bottle of tequila. But Dylan never told them that, he wasnāt entirely sure if he dreamt it, if he was honest.
āJust go talk to her, be honest,ā Dylan said with a light chuckle, nudging Luke towards the porch steps.
Lukeās legs stopped stiff, and spun to face Dylan in protest, āNo! What do I even say? āOh, hey y/n I know weāve been friends for a while, but Iām in love with you haha hope this doesnāt make it awkwardā? Like, come on.ā With the way Dylanās grin turned almost menacing, Luke felt his heart almost stop, his stupidity catching up with him, āThis stays between us, Duker.ā
He groaned and watched Dylan giggle his way back inside. Wingman or menace? Fine line, but at least he was better than Jack. Who quite literally tried trapping him and y/n in a closet when he found out, hoping for the best. Perhaps Dylan would actually help him get somewhere, heād spent many parties coaxing Luke into making a move but Luke being the humble soul he took pride in, let her have her peace. Oh, how much he regretted it every time he heard her laugh because of another guy.
Thankfully the docks were at the far end of his garden, out of earshot and almost out of sight, if you werenāt spying. He stood silently, just taking in her very existence alone. If she werenāt wearing his hoodie so proudly, he wouldāve sat down by now but the heat that flushed into his cheeks prominently just had to ease before he could show his face. Maybe sheād find it cute that his face flushed so easily, or maybe sheād think he was a fool for thinking he had a chance. Girls were hard to read, so many codes and hints, he couldnāt keep up with them all and God forbid you had an ugly code name. Watching her like that did raise the thought, what was his code name? Did he really want to know?
āI can feel you starinā,ā her voice chimed, their eyes meeting as she craned her neck, āyou gonna join or just stand?ā
Lukeās lips pulled into his famous half-smirk, āI like lookinā at pretty things, can you blame a man?ā He sat next to her, thigh to thigh, shoulder to shoulder like they usually did, the weight of his boldness lifting off his chest. āWhatās runninā through that mind of yours?ā
āWho said I was thinking about anything? Maybe I was finally catching a break from the zoo. Maybe I was thinking that you need a haircut.ā Her laugh was like music to his ears, her voice his favourite song and every word that rolled off her tongue felt like ecstasy surging through him and freezing the world around them.
Spending a summer in a lake house was the only way y/n ever wanted to live. An oasis of serenity and laughs, endless memories, and an escape. But while she dipped her toes in the water, watching her reflection ripple, the everlasting thought that it was fleeting crawled its way back to the surface whether she wanted it to or not. The boys had been doing this longer than she had, it was her first time at the lake house and possibly her last. But there was nothing wrong with enjoying it while it lasted, being trapped under the same roof as the boys wasnāt as bad as sheād assumed. Except for the smells, they were straight-up disrespectful. Would she still love it as much if she was with other friends? Hard to say, if Luke was there, everything would be fine. Maybe a couple more girls wouldāve been nice too, though.
āPlease, youāre staring blankly, donāt try me.ā Luke scoffed playfully, shoulder gently nudging hers as she rolled her eyes, unable to resist a gleaming smile. As much as she wanted to rebuttal, he was right. Theyād met on the first week of university, Luke starting hockey practice and y/n starting as their new social girl and since then the pair of them had been two peas in a pod. Completely enamoured with each other, attached at the hip, where Luke went, heād bring y/n, his person.Ā āWait, you think I need a haircut? Is it that bad?ā
She laughed, Luke, stooping so she could thread her fingers through his unruly curls gently, something only she was allowed to do, āNah, I like your hair long, cut it and Iāll cut you.ā They pulled back, sitting in their original postures and watched the sunās pinks fade to oranges, āI was thinking about how many girls youāve brought here.ā
He blinked twice, turning his head slowly to face her and to his surprise his eyes met hers. There was a gloss to them, illuminated brightly by the sunset but like glass as if she were about to break. Heart beating in his ears, he licked his lips, almost quivering when he began to speak.
āJust you.ā His voice just above a whisper, husky, āOnly you. Always you.ā Their gazes lingered, and his eyes fluttered to her lips for just a split second before he found himself licking his lips again, feeling his throat dry at the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled. His heart ached, he didnāt have half the guts the Fantilli brothers did, if he had then maybe he wouldāve at least wrapped his arm around her. Instead, he sat like he was paralysed, just shoulder to shoulder as she rubbed her bare foot against his leg, their skins touching, lighting little fires up his body and his stomach gaining a warmth heād only felt in the after-hours of his bedroom.
āLu?ā she rested her head on his shoulder, staring back out towards the horizon, āDo you ever feel like youāre so far behind the people around you? Like youāre missing out.ā
Luke leaned his head against hers, almost nuzzling into it as he thought. It was a heavy question, one thatād been weighing on her for a while. Or he assumed, considering sheād never openly asked the group. Thatās what made him feel special. Her feet hung still, ending their teasing game and just fell limp. He exhaled, could he let his pride go and agree? Or could he completely one-up himself and disagree, which made him braver? He loathed the storms she started in him, thoughts he never imagined he would think in his hockey brain. One girl could change his entire train of thought, change his heartbeat, change his mood. One woman he pined like a lost puppy over.
āSometimes. What do you mean?ā
āLike, all my friends have these insane hook-ups and embarrassing sex stories and I have nothing. Yeah, Iāve had boyfriends before, but I was younger and stupid then. I go out with my friends and Iām basically invisible to any guy who approaches us, just feel unlovable. And now here I am, twenty years old and a fucking virgin with little experience and no wild stories.ā She vented, barely taking a breath as the words spilt from her mouth. Lukeās chest twisted, his face softening when she snuggled into his side. āI donāt know where Iām going wrong, Lu.ā
He paused and bit his lip when he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her body into his chest. She melted into his touch, getting a whiff of his woody, amber cologne, her favourite one at that, the one he always wore. Sheād never had the chance to properly relish in his touch, was his chest always this firm? Arms always bring this much security? Fuck, when did his hand get so sexy when on her body, gliding down her arm to nestle in the curve of her waist. With her ear pressed to him, the thundering in his chest surrendered his cover entirely. Cool and collected Luke Hughes was secretly a bumbling mess.
āI get you.ā he finally spoke, ears burning when her finger traced shapes on his thigh, āMy entire life has been hockey, so not a lot of space for experiences either. Not enough time for relationships between practice and games, development camps and time with family. A lot of the girls who liked me didnāt really like that. That or they liked my brothers and friends more, they are a lot more attractive than me, so I donāt blame them. Mājust average.ā
Y/n pulled away almost instantly, her eyebrows knitted and jaw agape. For a moment she thought she heard him wrong, āa lot more attractive than meā, ājust averageā? Delving into Lukeās psyche turned out to be an entirely different road trip than she had thought, heartstrings tugged as her lips fell to a frown. Who in the world made him feel like that? Who did she need to hunt down? But then again, Lukeās blood boiled hearing how insignificant she felt and who exactly made her think that to start with?
āLuke Hughes you are not average! Youāre the hottest guy I know!ā she yelped, the hand that drew gentle patterns now clutching his thigh tight. Luke gulped but didnāt retract away from the noise. His brain was too busy short-circuiting over the fact her fingers were dangerously close to his crotch, doing his best to contain himself with slow breaths, āThey just didnāt give you a chance, if they really knew you, theyād be heads over heels. Youāre so fucking smart, and passionate. And-and if they saw you smile for real, not a half-smile, your full smile with your teeth, the one that feels like a warm summerās day. Itās their loss, theyāll never know how sweet you are, that after a bad game, you want steak and head scratches, that youāre sentimental as fuck- like you wear that Yankees hat because Quinn got it for you when you fell ill and couldnāt make the game. Youāre not average.ā
Luke blinked, once, twice and thrice as her eyes bored into his, glazed with fire as the words tumbled from her mouth and circled his head. He watched the way her body rose and fell as she caught her breath, the grip on his thigh tightening and heat rising through his body. He felt the sweat building on the back of his neck, his collar suddenly becoming too tight. She thought he was hot? She remembered such little details about him like theyād known each other since they were kids. The hand around her waist slid to her lower back, his thumb rubbing the fabric of her (his) hoodie unconsciously.
He smiled, his warm smile she mentioned, where his eyes wrinkled and his chin tilted up triumphantly, āThe hottest guy you know, huh?ā
Y/nās face dropped. Never in her life had she experienced her heart stop the way it did hearing those words. She stared like a deer in headlights, she slipped up and the heat rushing to her cheeks burned. This is what happens when you let your feelings take over, you make a fool of yourself in front of the one person who would never want to. She sighed, hung her head and hid her face in her hands, the butterflies in her stomach choking her when Luke let out a saccharine chuckle that made all the flowers bloom.
Large, warm hands wrapped around her wrists with a feather touch, and slowly pulled her hands away from her face and into her lap, soothing her nerves with a gentle rubbing of her knuckles with his thumbs. Although his hands felt clammy, the tingling in his stomach became too addicting to care about it too much anymore.
āDonāt hide,ā she was radiant under what was left of the tangerine hues, eyes almost sparkling, ālet me see that pretty face.ā
She hesitantly raised her head, eyes meeting his and her body relaxed. She had no idea why she was so embarrassed, he hadnāt gagged, laughed in her face nor had he physically repulsed. Instead, he looked at her like sheād hung out the stars for him, wide eyes with rose-tinted ears.
āI think youāre very pretty too. Beautiful even, I-ā he hesitated, āyou have no idea how many times Iāve thought about kissing you, asking you out. Honestly, the idea of you rejecting me is terrifying so I never did, plus, Iāve never kissed anyone before, and I didnāt wanna fuck it up.ā
Her eyes fluttered to his lips, the world around them falling silent until it was just them in their own bubble. Luke gulped, his eyeline following the way she flickered between his eyes and his mouth before he found their bodies leaning into one another, noses ghosting. His hands released her wrists, one arm snaking around her waist sending an electric tingle through her veins and holding her firmly close. Theyād been this close before, sure. Multiple occasions of having his arms around the back of the sofa they sat snug on, arm hooked around her shoulders because some guy couldnāt get the memo at bars, in fact, the root cause of their problem was undeniably because everyone assumed they were together except them.
Y/nās palm held his cheek tenderly, the hot, carnal desire to devour the boy only being released from its cage when he melted into her touch as if he was opening his doors to vulnerability.
āI can teach you if you like,ā she whispered, her thumb tracing across his bottom lip. Lukeās fingers gripped her waist as if she couldnāt be any closer than she already was, but he couldnāt risk letting her slip from his grasp again. He wanted to erase all those other guys whoād kissed her, he would be the last guy on Earth to taste the lips that words and giggles laced with a honey-like sweetness that cradled his heart.
āGod, please-āĀ his heart beat twice as fast, y/n leaning in, closing the gap between them and pressing her lips gently to his. If he were to die right there, heād die the happiest man alive. Her lips were soft and warm, igniting every firework inside of him and adrenaline shaking him back to life. He could do this for hours, drinking in her citrus fragrance, lips mimicking the way she moved hers against his. If she was a match, he was kerosene and heād let her set him ablaze over and over if it meant he could feel like the only man in the world until the end of time.
They pulled away, eyes fluttering open to an exchange of giggly smiles. Despite it being a closed-mouth kiss, nothing extra, just soft and sweet, Lukeās thoughts raced at a million miles per hour. All the weight on his shoulders lifted and he nuzzled into her palm, placing a kiss on it.
Y/n raised an eyebrow, his puppy-like gaze almost distracting her from how his skin burned pink in her palm. But in a way, all her previous anxieties dissipated like dust in the wind, tummy flipping at the pathetically sweet and lovestruck expression spread on Lukeās face, āYour face is so red. Are you okay?-ā
ā-Can we do that again?ā He pleaded, quickly, desperately, a certain yearning feeling on his lips that he couldnāt quite describe, except that he needed to taste her again. He needed more, so much more to quench his thirst, a kind of fuzziness he felt in his core.
āUh- yeah, let me show you what a real kiss is.ā No hesitation was needed, y/nās hand slid from his cheek to the nape of his neck, fingers carding through his curls as she roughly connected their lips again, messier, teeth chattering from the impact. Lukeās other hand found comfort on her thighs, pulling them over his lap and giving gentle squeezes, moaning when y/n bit his lower lip. He opened his mouth with ease, failing to hold back another moan when her tongue lapped his. He wasnāt sure how to react, heād never made out with anyone and itās not like his brothers wouldāve explained it well either. So, he repeated her movement, his tongue dancing with hers with saliva lubricating their lips each time they dove back in to devour each other. Y/n tugged his curls lightly, pulling him closer, savouring the kindling arousal leaking into her panties with the way he craved her.
Luke pulled away to breathe, his chest heavy but shorts becoming tight with the intense and fiery eye contact that screamed nothing but lust, āYou,ā he kissed her again, fervently, ātaste,ā another kiss, āamazing.ā He mumbled into her lips and their tongues stirred again, whimpers drawing from the back of her throat when his hand travelled further up her thigh, under her shorts and found solace on the skin only he could touch. Any further and she couldnāt promise she wouldnāt pounce, her underwear was soaked through and sticking to her folds and even one measly brush on her clit would open the floodgates.
A foreign burst of confidence washed over him, and he detached their lips, a string of saliva between them and her hand still tugging at his curls and whether intentional or not, he discovered something carnal clawing away inside him. Wetting his lips, he dove into her neck, planting wet kisses along her column and nipping in the hope of hearing her mewl again. Y/n tilted her head to the side, giving him free rein over her skin and her jaw slacking, whining his name with her thighs clenching together for any kind of friction. As he began to run his hand along her thigh, his pocket vibrated continuously, earning a growl to rumble from his throat.
āFuck, whyād you stop?ā y/n whined, hand falling from his hair to his chest. Luke pulled his phone from his pocket with a disgruntled look, of course, his moment was ruined. Swiping the notification away, he clicked his tongue, sliding his phone back into his shorts.
His arms wrapped around her waist, and looked back into her adoring yet disappointed eyes, āDylan wants to know if weāre joining them for a movie.ā
āIām quite happy staying here with you.ā
āWho says we have to watch the whole movie?ā
Silence hung over the living room, only the TV blaring and the light crunching of popcorn from different directions. The lights were off, just the TV and three boys crammed on one sofa, and three plus y/n on the other. Luke, y/n, Rutger and Adam on the sectional directly opposite the TV, Luke occupying the end with the chaise for his legs, and y/n sat between them and huddled under a blanket. Rutger sat in the middle with Adam on the furthest end. Dylan, Luca and Ethan huddled together on the sofa adjacent to the TV, popcorn littered between them from missing mouths and flinching.
Lukeās hands wrapped around her waist, keeping her snug against his chest while she slowly chewed Hariboās, feeding them to him now and then. While his heart skipped beats, feeling like a meadow of tulips blooming in the Spring, y/nās wiggling against his crotch lured all the heat and butterflies from earlier straight back to his stomach, sending it into twists and turns. Heat flushed to his neck when she pushed her arse back into him, in an innocent attempt to readjust. A deep exhale through his nose and his hands slithered to her thighs, fingers kneading the flesh like dough as his head dipped into her shoulder, breath hot on the skin and making her hairs stand on edge.
āStop wigglinā, pretty girl,ā he whispered into the shell of her ear, placing a kiss, āyouāre drivinā me crazy.ā
She froze, body falling limp into his as he ran his hands under her hoodie, his stiffened cock poking into her backside as she caught on to what his problem was. The sex-deprived whore in her awakened with a jolt, his cock solid because of her, and there was nothing she wanted more than to feel him pressed up against her, unable to find his release and have the rasp of his voice reverberate through her being as her vibrator.Ā
āAnd if I donāt?ā she whispered back, as close to him as possible without being heard. Instead of answering, Luke dipped his fingers down her shorts, middle finger brushing against her clothed clit. His eyes locked to the screen in front of him, resisting the urge to smirk when her breath hitched but continuing to glide his finger ā in what was a lucky guess ā over her bundle. She squirmed, clamping her thighs together, only to have them pried open by his free hand.
āBe a good girl and keep quiet, unless you want to be caught.ā His playful tone sent chills down her spine, goosebumps swarming on her neck but melting into his touch. She plopped another sweet into her mouth, chewing intensely when Luke drew his long fingers away, only for her to feel them caress over her skin, cold on her warm body, and down her panties. To describe the sensation that zipped through her when the pad of his middle finger reunited with her clit would be the same shock if you were to be struck by lightning: sudden and sharp, rattling up the spine.
Y/n placed the bag of sweets in her lap, tucking both hands under the blanket with the hope of seeming less suspicious, but her hand skimmed down his arm and placed itself on his, slowly guiding his movements on her nub until he got the idea. Firm yet gentle circular movements, the slick seeping from her warm on his fingertips, so inviting he wished he could have a taste. She pulled the blanket to her chin, not only to cover Lukeās sudden mood but to form some form of distraction from the fuzzy feeling rising to her head. No, sheād never had this before, so the experience itself embraced her tight, addicting like nicotine.
He kissed her temple, two fingers sliding into her cunt almost perfectly, too perfect that another Haribo was abused between her teeth as her breathing struggled to remain neutral. The moan that wouldāve slipped past if she hadnāt been concentrating wouldāve been embarrassing enough. Luke began languid plunges into her, relishing in the way her walls squeezed his fingers tight, keeping shallow at first. The more her pussy swallowed him in their wetness, the faster his mind spiralled in greed and his pace sped up, y/nās nails digging deep into his leg, leaving crescent shapes on the skin. The heat pooling in her stomach was riveting, knowing she would finally have an insane story to tell even more so. No one could say that Luke Hughesā tongue tasted theirs like it was the best meal heād ever lapped up and that heād watched a movie with his friends while pushing the limits of both his and their sanity publicly.
With a rush of adrenaline and her nails marking him, he buried his fingers deep into her cunt, driving swiftly and curling in places that made her wriggle against him, his free hand having to hold her hips still with a bruising grip and his cock begged for attention in his shorts. Y/n popped two more sweets in her mouth, relying on their gummy nature to suppress the moans that threatened to tear through her as the knot inside her came dangerously close to snapping with the way he bullied her pussy with his bare hands. His breathing fell deep and shuddered, his heart infatuated with the ecstasy of finger-fucking the woman of his dreams in front of an entire room of his friends hammered in his chest while his face struggled to stay indifferent and jaw tight like his cock isn't throbbing violently and straining against her arse. Like she wasnāt bucking her hips into his touch like he couldnāt tell that her heart was going haywire because of just him alone. If this was what foreplay was like, the idea of piledriving balls deep in her until she couldnāt remember her name was divine.
He dragged out his last pumps, the knot in her stomach snapping and coating his fingers in hot, sticky release, kissing her temple upon her body physically shuddering. Y/n pulled the blanket up to her chin as if she had shivered naturally, stuffing her mouth into the fluffy material. Luke pulled his fingers out, wiping the residue on his shorts, practically drooling over the image of milking her dry. His arms snaked around her waist, snuggling close. Y/n sighed, slumping back into him. On the outside Luke was his collected and cool self, his breathing stable and attention on the movie, the heat in his face and hands that rested on her stomach, soothing her heart rate screamed that he was the happiest guy in the room. With every gentle stroke of his thumb on the flesh of her stomach, her heart soothed and her eyelids became increasingly heavier.
"Was that story worthy?" He whispered, kissing her cheek sweetly.
Lukeās pocket buzzed and he tutted, carefully sliding it from his pocket and unlocking it, trying his best to prevent the screen from blinding everyone.
Duker idk if ur freaky or brave u dog
Luke closed his phone and looked up towards Dylan, who sat with a shit-eating grin. He smiled and shook his head, mouthing a subtle, āthis stays between usā.
[Masterlist]
[Requests CLOSED]
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Maybe In A Different Age
Senku/fem reader
cw: angst no comfort (i tried) ik this fandom kinda dead lowkey but I wanted to write this cause its so senku coded. Senku's an idiot (unsuprisingly). Not very good writing.
wc: uhh i wrote this in my notes, around 1k probably
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Byakuya brings two strangers into their house on a random thursday.
"Senku, this is a close friend and her daughter, I'm sure you guys will get along splendidly."
"Ok."
Five year old Senku is harshly blunt when he meets you for the first time, staring at him silently as if you've never seen a human before. He doesn't have anything to say and it seems neither do you, so he walks off, deciding he has better things to do. Promptly ignoring the sigh and apology the older man lets out.
.
"So I got this new idea and I'm going through the basic logistics and research right now, might need your help later."
"I'll go get us some snacks and something to do while you work on it then."
Six year old Senku watches you dissappear from his doorway, absentmindedly humming while you head to the very familiar kitchen. Your family has been apparently busy as of late so he forcibly sees your face more often. You usually just eat his food, do your work, and ask him (dumb) questions. You're a friend now, he supposes.
.
"Hey dum dum, Byakuya got me new equipment, so I have some new ideas. So listen up."
"Course Senku!"
Seven year old Senku grins, you're always willing to help him out for whatever reason you have (something weird probably, in his opinion). In return, he always tells you what he's working on and his labor demands. So per usual, he excitedly gets into the details of the next project that he plans on working you and Taiju to the bone for.
.
"Hey Senku?"
"What?"
"I think I love you."
"Huh? You better not be catching feelings dum dum." He gives you a confused squint after hearing your words.
"Whatever you say." You hum
Eight year old Senku hears you say those three words for the first time, you don't say why and he doesn't know either. He thinks its rather idiotic, but he shrugs it off after you silently go back to reading. You've been picking up books more often as of late, not that he cares much.
.
"You're late for the test runs, Taiju and Yuzuriha already left."
"Sorry sorry! My teacher held me up a little later at practice today."
"Hm." His disappointed stare returns.
"Im sorry..? Love you?" You're sheepish with your response.
"How is that supposed to make up for anything? Now come help me carry this stuff"
"As you wish, princess Senku."
Nine year old Senku doesn't understand why you and Byakuya tell him that so often (or that stupid nickname sourced from his "feebleness"), but he moves on quickly to detail the results of the test and the numerous next steps. Much to his pleasure.
.
"Wake up stupid. You fell asleep." Senku (roughly) shakes you awake from your shoulders, poking at your face a few times.
"Huh? Oh sorry Senku, I guess I'm just tired."
"Well you're not gonna wanna miss this." He grins while looking up, expectant.
"Hm. Hey the moons pretty tonight yeah?"
"It looks the same as it always does. Is that poetry getting to you and making you sappy?"
You wait before responding, "Maybe."
Eleven year old Senku keeps you up on certain nights for his projects or for nights like these where there's a meteor shower. He thinks you should stop reading so much of those books that make you sound like Byakuya. You should also get more rest, he adds.
.
"Happy Valentines Day Senku!! Got you a gift, heh."
"Must I tell you again?" Senku turns to a usual sight, you waving a gift in front of his face as if he were a dog.
"I'm good I just wanted to remind you."
"Right."
Twelve year old Senku doesn't see the point in meaningless feelings or holidays for said feelings. Nevertheless, he takes the homemade chocolate from you, skimming through the card which contents include exactly what he expected (a confession of sorts, again), and placing it to the side. Ignoring it in favor of the much more sensible chemicals in front of him. Like every year though, Senku keeps it. He doesn't know why.
.
"Taiju and Yuzuriha definitely have something going on don't you think?"
"And you're bringing this up why?"
You pause, you know why, but you know he wouldn't understand. "It's cute... wish I could have something like that you know?"
"...For the last time-"
"I know I know Senku, don't worry I'll try to bother you less."
Thirteen year old Senku doesn't see you as much anymore, mostly because of your practice that your mom wants you to perfect. You come over less nowadays, a shame (for his projects obviously), but your presence isn't any smaller of an intrusion at school. So much for bothering him less.
.
Around 21:00 is when he hears the familiar ringing of his doorbell. "It's late, why are you here?"
"Got out of training not too long ago and wanted to see you before I headed in."
"Your house isn't even remotely close to mine" A raised eyebrow is all you get in response to your grin.
"What does it matter when I'm already here, but gotta go before I get scolded. Goodnight Senku, Love you!"
"You know it's never gonna happen, as you know-"
"Yeah yeah, 10 billion percent illogical, I know, but I can't let my favorite person forget can I?" You flash another smile.
"As if I'd ever with how often you say it, now goodnight."
Fourteen year old Senku closes the door after you've cheerfully said your bye and faded from his sight enough. The lack of noise is strange, now that Byakuya has "ascended like an angel" (his words not Senkus) it's much quieter. The usual noise of a certain two people is absent more often than not. He let's the silence of the house sit in.
.
"Hey, can you get me something from the storage real quick? Need it soon but that bonehead forgot when he came up here babbling about confessing to Yuzuriha"
"Of course. I'd do anything for you. Always here. You know that Sen."
Fifteen year old Senku glances at your fleeting figure. The nickname is new, for sure. And he can't say he dislikes it, but the lack of a certain three words with your departure is strange. He brushes it off to your usual forgetfulness and peers out the window at Taiju and Yuzuriha. Thoughts preoccupied until a bright green light overtakes his vision and he can't do anything but think into the void.
So he counts.
And maybe every once in a while you pop into his head like you always do.
.
Three-thousand and something year old Senku wakes up to a world where theres a lack of civilization, a lack of his decency, and most importantly, a lack of you.
You would be useful right now, he supposes.
.
Three-thousand and something year old Senku spends his free time trying to find you and the rest of the "gang" (as you would say).
He finds Taiju, he finds Yuzuriha, he also finds a lion-punching maniac, but there's no sign of you.
He's ten billion percent sure you survived.
Right?
The concerned stare Yuzuriha gives him as they part is ignored.
.
(Physically) Sixteen year old Senku celebrates this birthday gazing into the sky from his new observatory. It reminds him of a lot of things, but he can't help but notice how empty it is, it's eerily quiet.
He doesn't like it.
Senku wishes you were here.
His first real birthday wish.
.
(Still) Sixteen year old Senku breaks when he hears his father's voice again for the first time in ages. It's not his voice that gets to Senku. He's heard it plenty enough in his lifetime. It's the mention of you.
"Just kidding! I know it's you on the other side of this Senku! And ____'s there with you right? Please tell me you're dating already or even better married so I can have grandchildren. Please please please Senku! Although you can't really tell me that but-"
Senku stops himself from showing vulnerability in front of the village, and he also stops himself from pausing the record right there and then. Opting to sigh and curse his dad out as a cover up, his fist lightly punching the table.
"Damn you old man."
The questions from the villagers about who you could be are forgotten in favor of an angelic voice. Senku's quick to tune it out. It reminds him of you.
.
(Mentally) Sixteen year old Senku sits by himself that night. It's been a long day. The constant repeat of a certain melody in the background, more work for the science kingdom, and a few questions about who you were. They stopped after a few radio silences from him, feelings are hard for the scientist after all.
It's cold.
He wishes you were here.
It's dark.
He wishes you were here.
It's lonely.
He wishes you were here.
The day he can always guarantee you're there has long passed. You should be here, is what his mind tells him. You owe him for the past 3000 years of missed birthdays after all.
It's funny, in his opinion. That you were probably most-definitely always there. And the one (multiple actually, 10 billion in his mind) time he looks for you, you're not there.
He doesn't think its funny.
"I'd do anything for you huh..."
Anything but keep your word.
He scoffs, but it's directed at himself. He would never blame you for this, or anything for that matter, he can't.
So he sits. And he stays. Like you would've wanted him too. He looks at the clear sky like you usually do. And he notes how the moon is pretty tonight. Just like you.
"I love you too."
He's 10 billion percent sure he does.
-
Thanks for reading, if you did :). Sorry for any errors not fully proofread. Senku is so right person wrong time coded when it comes to romance that i had to write this even if its lowkey bad
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Age Gap
Van der linde gang x Fem!Reader
Dutch Van Der Linde
He def goes for younger girls
He looks like the type
You caught his eye with your outfits
Hes 44 but i feel like he wouldnt want a age gap over 10 years
If you got the courage to make the first move he would admire that about you
Definitely sweet talks you about being a smart girl
Lord the amount of praise this son of a bitch would give you could boost even arthur ego
Def a sugar daddy, before the events of black water
After he would try his best but he left most of his money behind in his old house
Arthur Morgan
He isnt that old but he def wouldnt go over 5 years
He finds it odd and repects his women too much
This is the man to go to if you want a sugar daddy
He will gladly spoil you with all the money he loots from dead Oādriscols
He also gives out praise but thats just the man he is
If hes not complimenting you and how stunning you are 24/7 he feels like a awful person
He would so totally call you his āsweet babyā or ābabydollā
If you wear pink dresses heād definitely be wrapped around your little finger
If not and your more of a streatwear person heād loose his mind at low rise or cami tops
Again youād have him wrapped around your finger immediately
John Marston
Hes definitely not old and would NOT go under 4 yearsš
This guys only 26
Hes not a sugar daddy
Sorry babe
But he thinks your cute
He def likes girls with a attitude
Just look at abigal for christs sake
He was married to herš
He would try to be good for you
Wanting to take you and run off into the sunset, but he couldnt leave dutch like that
Not after everything dutch had done for him
You would have to get along with jack to even be on johns radar (sorryš„²)
He wants you as soon as your motherly to jack
He talks to arthur about you
He calls you āsweet girlā and ādollā in that gravily voice
Hes incredible, really
Hosea Matthews
Okay well hes oldš
Def a sugar daddy
I mean have you seen him?
He goes for at least 10-12 years younger š
After bessie he really didnt think heād fall in love again but when you came in twirling you hair and giggling heād be a teenager all over again
You could ask him to shoot the man next to him for no reason and heād do it
Hes quite literally wrapped around your finger
I say that because he would not leave you alone
Constantly holding you and treating you to gifts and fancy things
He once bought you a diamond necklace in saint denis
Whether you protested or not is up to you
He doesnt let you out of his sight and will not stop rambling to dutch about you
Dutch is too tired and crazy to deal with hosea and sends him your way to obsess over youš
Sean MacGuire
The belief is hes mid 20ās so im gonna say 25
He definitely is like john and goes for 3 years younger
But i see him as the type to like older women cough cough mary cough
He likes the contrast of him being a stupid asshole and you being a sweet little thing
He trys his best with money but like john has very little so if he buys you something its usually something small
Though he never really feels accomplished after he gets you something small
So he saves for a long time and buys you something a little bigger like a silver necklace or a nice bracelet
His accent gets in the way of things sometimes but he will call you āsweet thingā though it sounds more like āsweet tingāš
Love him though
Javier Escuella
Another baby of the gangš«¶š«¶
Hes 26 so he goes for the same range as john
He also doesnt have much money and buys you small things
But he makes it up by calling you endearing nick names
āMi amorā ādulce ninaā āQueridaā
You get the point
āOjalĆ” pudiera comprarte mĆ”s mi amor pero debes saber que esto es de mi corazĆ³nā
I love him sm
He would sugar daddy you if he could
Probably gets upset when he cant buy you things
If your family is rich he refuses your offers of giving him money
It doesnt feel right to have a sweet girl like you give him money when he should be the one providing
It gets him upset to see you want something he knows he cant afford
Has lowkey thought about robbing a very rich man cough cough braithwates cough to buy you things
When on the boat if you go with them he keeps an eye on you
Not liking the scene already, older predatory men being all around you made him extremely uncomfortable
He doesnt want to tell you what to do he always wants it to be your choice but it scares him that he cant really do anything to protect you
Though if it was dire enough he woukd throw the whole plan down the drain to cut open a older guy that got too power hungry and grabbed you
āNo te lastimĆ³, Āæverdad, querida?.ā
Charles Smith
Hes not as young but doesnt go for under 5 years
Hes got some money to buy small things every now and again
He calls you ābabyā and ālittle girlā alot no matter the age gap
It could only be a few months and he still wouldš
He shows you how to hunt and stuff as bonding
He sees killing a deer together and bringing it back to pearson as romantic
But he still takes you on dates
When he can
Hes usually on watch duty as he is literally a unit of a man
This kid is huge
Around 6ā6 and 240 pounds
Dwarfs even the biggest of guys, yes even arthurš
Josiah Trelawny
Trelawny the man you areš
Hes definitely rich
He has a house with his wife in saint denis
He is quite old so I imagine no more then 10 years difference
He calls you ādarlingā and āsweet girlā in that trans Atlantic accent
He definitely spoils you rotten
Only the best for his sweet girl
He takes a lot of time to take care of you as well
He doesnt spend time with the gang and only pops up when they need him for things like stealing from rich people
He never lets you pay
Are you kidding
Heād rather die then have you pay for something
Thats a little dramatic but i know he would never feel good about himself ever again if he got to a point where you had to pay
Like what do you mean he doesnt have enough money
No no darling put yours away papa trelawny will have a sweet little chat with the man trying to embarrass him infront of his woman
āYES I HAVE ENOUGH MONEY ARE YOU INSANE, no dear its okay you dont need to pay. BACK TO YOU DONT YOU EVER-ā
Obviously there are ones i didnt put in here like micah, pearson, uncle, lenny ect. I dont know enough about them nor do i like most of them (except for lenny i love him sm)
#red dead redemption 2#rdr2#arthur morgan#arthur morgan x reader#dutch van der linde x reader#hosea matthews x reader#sean macguire#charles smith#javier escuella x reader#josiah trelawny#john marston x reader
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Hi sage!! I hope you're doing well<33 do you mind doing jealousy headcanons for dan heng, jing yuan and any other characters you chose?? Thank you š¤š¤ you're keeping the hsr x reader tag alive š
* pairing(s) : various hsr men (4, again) x gender neutral reader
* prompt : jealousy bites like you like a poisonous snake, the bite hurts, but its the venom that gets you.
* authors note : hi anon !!! (ą¹Ā“ć
`ą¹) thank you for requesting, you're so sweet for the last msg omg tysm <3 i hope u enjoy !
* brief warning : blade kills a man, very blade of him. (his is also more of a joke im sorry blade lovers) ALSO THIS PROGRESSIVELY GETS SHORTER EACH CHARACTER, I JUST REALLY LIKE DAN HENG IM SORRY LMAO.
DAN HENG can't hide the way his eye twitches, how tightly he grips onto his spear or the way he'd mutter things under his breath. He despises it when he's jealous, but he hates it more when he sees the reason for doing so.
He knows he's.. not exactly like all your previous partners, it stemmed an insecurity in him. He wasn't all too funny, and knew he couldn't make you laugh with a corny joke.
So the way Sampo keeps making you laugh, making you smile, it was sparking a jealous flame in his heart. But more than anything, it saddened him that he couldn't make you laugh like that.
God, your smile was so pretty.
After a while, he interlocks his fingers with yours and mutters a small 'Can we go?' to you. You immediately notice his saddened tone, and thank Sampo for his time before walking home with your boyfriend.
"Dan Heng?" You say softly, noticing his rather saddened mood. He lets out a small hum to acknowledge your call for him, and you sigh. "Are you upset?"
He nods his head.
"Is it.. because of Sampo?"
He hesitates, but that alone gives you an answer.
Dan Heng takes a deep breath, before looking at you, his eyes filled with honesty. "I was.. jealous. I know I can't make you laugh the way he does, and it frustrates me. I want to be a man who makes you smile everyday but-"
Amidst his rant, he sees how your gaze softened at his words. This entire time, he was insecure? He hid it well, so well, at the very least from you. "I'm sorry, this is stupid-"
"N-no! It's not, I should be apologizing if anything! I failed to realize these things.. I'm sorry, my love. Sampo.. he makes me laugh, but you make my heart flutter. You make me feel things no one else can, okay? I'm yours, as you are mine."
He smiles at you, he's just happy he communicated his feelings, and you understood. "I'll be sure to try and tell you how I feel next time, okay? As long as you promise you'll stop hanging out with him. I was honestly afraid I was gonna have to get rid of him."
You blinked a few times, but he sighs. "I'm kiddinngg.."
JING YUAN knows he's far too good of a man, therefore doesn't get jealous.
He's yet to be disproven in the first part, but his golden eyes are filled with annoyance as the stares of a certain enemy of his lingers far too long on you.
You were filling in for Yanqing, he was absent for the day (something about falling into an ice cold river and getting sick or something...) and so someone needed to be there as the General would be meeting Blade.
And Jing Yuan couldn't ignore how Blade's eyes never left your form while he spoke, hanging your head down low and so you wouldn't notice. That made him greatly annoyed, almost unable to focus, but he had a mission at hand. And so he forced his jealousy to subside.
Needless to say, the small marks on your neck was embarassing to have seen in public. (And the small bird constantly pecking at Blade's hair was definitely also not Jing Yuans doing.)
GEPARD is so understanding, he evaluates every situation with logical thinking, as expected as a leader.
So it wasn't hard to figure out the intentions of the 'friend' that was speaking to you, how their voice was almost sweeter, and the way they clinged onto your arm was signalling red flags.
Gepard wouldn't have minded this, it could've easily been friendly gestures, but Serval is one of your closest friends and you were within a friendgroup. And she knows that person has a crush on you, and it was painfully obvious.
So naturally, he swiftly and surpisingly gently pulls you from the waist out of their grasp especially with how firm his grip around you was. He gives them a not so friendly glare, and plants a soft kiss to your lips. "My partner." He states, pulling you close as you're left to be stunned with the sudden posessiveness of your partner. "Mine."
Blade simply stares down at the person even attempting to approach you with clearly bad intentions. And if they dare to try to push their luck, Blade comes home with blood on his hands.
"What did you do??" You'd ask, you already knew the answer after already learning what Blade was truly like. "What was necessary." He replied, a kiss on your cheek as he walks in through the door to wash his hands.
#ā¹ Ö“Ö¶Öø źź entos paw prints#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#honkai star rail#dan heng x reader#jing yuan x reader#gepard landau x reader#gepard x reader#blade hsr x reader
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This might be angst but it's more for humor.
Arlecchino with a reader who's deathly afraid of spider to where they have developed a sort of spidysense for when a spider is within 12 feet of them no matter where it is.
Imagine Everytime Arlecchino is around their instincts scream spider so they maintain distance from her no matter what which leads to a misunderstanding of them hating her when in fact it's just that she reminds them of a spider.
Lmaoo this one is hilarious
Spidey senses
SpiderVibes!Arlecchino x SpiderSense!Reader
Drinking your coffee, you look out the window of the cafe. This day is like every other. The sun shines brightly through the streets of fontaine, and your drink tastes as bitter as ever. Suddenly, you feel a shiver go down your spine as you look for it. The spider.
You've always been able to feel if a spider is nearby. You're terrified of them. Call it a spidey sense. Your eyes zap around the lounge, looking for it. And finally, you find it. The little bug was hanging near the corner of the room. Although it's very far away, you still feel its earie presence, so you take your coffee and leave the cafe. You sigh as you walk out the door.
You recently started working as a caterer for the house of the hearth, which is not too strange. It's just that whenever you're in the building, your spidey sense starts tingling. Which you later found out was just a false alarm.
So you've found a solution; avoid the knave. Yeah, it's kind of rude, but overall, it's for the quality of your work.
But today is different. The orphanage owner herself called you to her office. Shivers flow down your spine as you walk up to her office door. The earie feeling of a million spiders creeping up on you settles as you open her door.
There she is in all her glory, she was already expecting you. Her gaze never left you the moment you walked into her office. "Come closer," she beckons. You take little steps closer to her desk. You dare not look her in the eyes as you do. "You wanted to talk?" She squints at you before responding. "Have I done something to offend you?" Oh shit. You quickly look up at her. She's still observing you from head to toe. "No, it's just...uh it's quite stupid actually -" she stands up from her chair and walks towards you. "Well, whatever I did, I want you to know that I am sorry."
Your face twists into shock and guilt as you try to reassure her. " No, no, you've done nothing to offend me! It's just -" she urges you to continue. And you do, you start rambling. "Well, it's just that I have, like, this really, and I mean really big fear of spiders, and I get the same kind of feeling around you.ā
āNot that I'd ever compare you to a spider! I just -" You suddenly get snapped out of your rambling. She's...laughing? She looks back down at you as she recollects herself. A small cough makes its way through her throat.
She looks down at her desk, her face looking conflicted. A smirk graces her face as she suddenly stands, slowly walking toward you. āMaāamā¦?ā You take a step back out of habit. A slight twinge of fear makes its way through your core. She corners you against the wall, hovering over you with a hand against the wall.
āDo you feel it now?ā Her sultry voice cascades through the air. You shiver at the sound. Squirming under her gaze, you nod. āHm.ā She makes a sound of acknowledgment before pulling back. Your body relaxes as she steps away, yet somehow you feel slightly disappointed. āThatās all. You can leave now.ā
SORRY ITS SO SHORT
Its also been a little while since i wrote a fic so im a bit rustyy
Should i do a part 2ā¦?
#x reader#genshin#genshin impact#arlecchino x reader#arlecchino genshin#i love arlecchino#arlechinno genshin#arlecchino#arlechinno x reader#gn reader#reader insert
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ome day i will be so normal
#thought abt my apartment again sigh. MY CURRENT SITUATION IS NOT BAD RHIS IS NOT THE SAME AS WHEN I WAS IN WA THINKING ABT MY APT#disclaiming bc i dont want 2 worry ppl. im quite happy here im just also excited for when im finally able 2 move out.... i like. truly truly#honest to god think id be able ro shower everyday Which is my goal#like. itll be easier once i live alone and Im the one buying all my shower products and everything#bc rn since i dont have money i have to ask my parents to buy me more shower stuff and i feel so jnsanely guilty. + the general depression#making it hard to shower and all that#but i thnnk once i have my Very own place where i live by myself itll be so much easier to like..do things. bc ill be able tk move abt the#house freely Not that i cant here like im fully allowed i just. Get weird abt everything and ive been doing that even before wa i like#hardly left my room... yk. wa i think actually made it a bit better bc i realized how much i was missing out on LOL. but its still a bit bad#i only leave if i Have a thing to do i never like. Just go sit in the living room or whatever... bc i dont like to intrude#Which is so stupid but whatever. at my apartment i want to try not to lay in bed all day#and my bed will just be for sleeping and ill hang out in my livinf room and itll be all decorated and nice and ill shower EVERY SINGLE DAY !#bc i wont be scared of anything happening (not that anything would here but yk .)#and i might even have a window in my bedroom i used to hateee bedroom windows my family has always been very Blackout curtains#but in wa b4 i was in the garage there was a big bedroom window and it was kinda nice to wake up to sunlight and stuff...#but i also have trouble sleeping if not in complete darkness. so you know..... we will see#also i only want that if im like . Not on the ground floor and its not like a um. If anybody can peek in my windows im getting blackout#curtains im Terrified of being watched through my windows i have nightmares abt ir all the time. Which is funny bc there r no windows in the#garage LOL#i just hate 2 be seen its true. bud all of that will be fixed when i have my apartmenttt :] and in my apartment ill be buying the groceries#so i wont have to feel guilty abt trying new recipes and stuff (not that i have to now bc my family likes trying new recipes and if im being#real i WILL still feel guilty spending money bc i have a complex. but im fantasizing rn so we dont have to worry abt that)#AUGHHH im just excited ik its a ways away but i rly am so excited like :] i would even be able to take baths sometimes i feel rly guilty#taking baths bc i dont like to hog the bathroom but if i lived alone then i wouldnt have to worry abt it#and i could do the fancy baths like with candles and stuff. i used to do that when we lived in my hometown.... and when i have my own place#i could do that whenever i wanted i could even gt one of those fancy bath trays even though they scare me rly rly rly bad bc i get paranoid#avr them falling in . ive never used one injust imagine them falling in andget scared#i also dont fully know how they work if your bathtubs like a built in one yk. bc sometimes theres no rim to rest it on? but whatever. ill#figure it out. hopefully i di have a bathtub And in unit laundry i rly want those but yk i may have 2 settle. but those 2 things would make#my life so good .... and a kitchennn my own kitchen even if its small
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Full wnk trailer analysis lets go (p1)
Homura with wavy hair fronts. Matches the one from the poster
I dunno about you, but her face looks kinda younger from the side? Cuter? I dont think we've seen anyone else from the side so maybe its just the artstyle and im being silly
The background is pretty hard to decipher
She has a ring but no visible stone or fingernail marking. It doesnt seem like the end of her main hair is wavy. It looks like she's missing the buttons on her front but this may be an animation error or the angle is hiding them
This bit makes me think she's falling down a spiral staircase? Though it doesnt resemble the one later. The gold bits look like banisters. The background gives me a stained glass window church feel
Madoka's home maybe? This is still wavy hair homura
Madoka has no ring
Not much to say. Text in the bottom right says mramasa but the rest is japanese and some numbers. Looks like maybe the power of the fan?
Ibari, number one. Yes its her, the lighting is just pink/red, you can tell cause her blue skin is more purple. To me, it looks like someone is holding her. The light peach parts on the bottom left and right look like the regular animation style. The flowers on the magnifying glass look a little like mami's
Dumb venus maybe? That compact wouldnt close if it had that pearl sticking out XD
I believe this is a homura we havent seen before. The ribbon doesnt match the poster homu from the right. Its brown, her uniform has a white under shirt. Ive seen people theorise this is Manuke, stupidity. The brown ribbon would match her hair colour. Her eyes are more purple than the pink of the previous homura. The colour also matches phone homu from the first trailer.
Ive seen people mention the fencing vaguely looks like oktavia's scales. I think the multiple parts remind me more of her tail. The windows at the very edges kinda remind me of the first scene.
I didnt realise at first but this is homura's wing being broken
Devil outfit has changed. She has a red streak in her hair. Her feathers look fluffier but it might just be the art style. Another red addition to her leg. Her right shoe looks like madoka's. Actually her gloves kinda look like madoka's too
With the city(?) below and the unmoving effects, is this happening during a time stop? Im getting the feeling this trailer (or movie?) has a brown/orange-ish glow to it so maybe they artistically changed the colour of time stop?
With the bright bg and chair colour, i think madoka is with mami (seen later) in this scene. Also i think thats her left hand, no fingernail marking
Rebellion cafe real, it even has the steps leading up to it (though its not 100% perfect... but eh, artistic licence...)
Also, the girl's teacup is cracked. I cant remember the name but it looks like that japanese art of repairing something broken but making the repairs beautiful (repaired witch???).
A stretch, but the napkin underneath reminds me of homu's handkerchief
I thought the lack of soul gem in the ring was an animation mistake but maybe not??? And a dark (could just be obscured by the cup) fingernail marking. It looks like the london underground symbol ToT
Ah the walls dont really match with the rebellion cafe... maybe this is just what cafes look like in madoka XD the single table is still a mirror to it though. I think the lotus flowers are telling.
I wonder if the girl's golden eyes (like godoka's) mean something because magical girls colours usually match dont they? But maybe they've stopped doing that, eh. I like how her glasses are the opposite to homura's, rim on the top.
I didnt realise the thing next to her is a purse, its huge ToT it has flowers on it. I saw someone call them roses to try and say this is gertrud... um no XD have you ever seen a rose???
A stretch but the crockery reminds me of Candeloro's
Its the same three colours
Nagisa has brown scrunchies and her hair is in two low bunches with dark red beads. It looks like her dress is different too
She has the mitakihara uniform and a yellow cardigan. You can see her soul gem ring. The yellow of the cardi and the brown hairbands make me hope it is bear girl......
Girl full of slinkies!!!! The dots around the place remind me of homura's corruption from rebellion (ala on the bus). This is bandaged sayaka
These make me think of candeloro's kiss. I think i can see flowers on the spine too
But the hands together on the middle of the spine is from madoka's rebellion transformation
Walpurgis?
Yes im sure this is the same cafe as madoka was in now. Very pretty
Mami has her hair clip from her magical girl form on the top left of her head. Also could be animation error but maybe her ring is missing the gem
ALSO ARE YOU JUST EATING A SUGAR CUBE MAMI????
Is this the same place from the dancing scene? Doesnt one of the nightmares have an attack like this? So is homura doing it because she controlled the nightmares.
Also they explode with white feathers hmmmmmm. I have the horrible feeling homura would do it to scare madoka
Clearly not the previous kyoko. Outfit is different and more like her original one i'd say. The cake looks like its from the cafe
Also hnnngghhh concept movie?????
Damn ive hit image limit... well part 2 incoming
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