#im am pain
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So, some time ago, I decided to recreate the game Havoc of the tainted throne from the creator Valefisk. I really liked the aspect of the game, even tho it was created by AI (which I absolutely hate using), but the game just looked so fun!
This was a reeeeeeally long project, as I forgot about it for a few months, but two weeks ago, I got a lot of the materials needed for it, so the project finally got off the drawing board.
The whole thing under the cut. Enjoy.
First, I made the character cards. The original had just 10 characters, but I wanted to add a Bard, because why not. So that's why the bard and archer were created.
Their powers were made in the spirit of the game, so the archer can once per game successfully attack any player on the board and the bard if in combat can sing and roll a d6 and if the roll is 1 or 6, they gain +1 attack.
I also ballenced the assassin a bit better to not be able to use their power to strike an opponent before combat, because that was too OP.
The cards were the most fun to do. But then the other cards were next.
The objectives were still easy. Just a dozen cards, plus one that I added for more diversity, which just says have 1 HP when getting on the throne.
And oh boy the event, object and trap cards were PAIN. There were in total 47 of those lil shits that I hate to write AND TRANSLATE. But in the end I did it. The cards were done.
But then the chips came
Those guys were the WORST. I had to cut the board, paint it white, paint the chips... a lot of pain my guys. But I did it. And it didn't take that much time, only like 9 hours.
Yet the board was still the last step. And may I tell you, I did it on my only day off work in a lot of pain, yet I finished it. I cut the board into four 80x20cm pieces, put them together with some tape and painted it white and then blue. Easy.
And then the making of the tiles. I had two options at first: paint it or cut up some paper and glue it to the board. I didn't like the idea of either of them so I searche my drawer. And I found it. Some shiny stick on paper. The perfect thing.
So I cut it up (INTO 53 PIECES, six of which are red) and just peeled the back off and put it on the board. Job done. Later I ordered some colourful game pieces and dice and called it a day. Because I do NOT have the patience to make the figures too.
You will never see me make a board game EVER AGAIN.
It was both fun and a torture. And that keeps in spirit with Mr. Valefisk's videos as it should.
So if anyone wants, you can send it to him. Show him this horrendous thing that I dare call a board game
Or leave it here to rott and be forgotten as it should
Anyway, now I am going to sleep and then I am going to work for the next 8 days and deal with people.
The consequences of my fucking choices are here and I hate it
Goodnight.
#my art#art#fanart#proxi notice#i am done#i said it all#ignore it is in czech#im am pain#eugh#long post#valefisk#i had to make this post 3 times because it deleted itself#my luck i guess
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Body swap movie where one of them has invisible disabilities and when the other one lands in their body they immediately collapse catatonic on the floor from the pain and fatigue and the first one is like 'oh damn guess I don't have to worry that I'm faking it anymore'
#i have this fantasy of one my able bodied friends and or coworkers occupying my body for like an hour#just to get a real sense of how much i am truly weathering hellfire every day of my life#sometimes i take stock and im like holy crap ive gotten so used to so much#im a frog in a pot and ive convinced myself the bubbling is just fun ambience#my thoughts#invisible disability#chronic illness#chronic pain
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i am unreasonably proud and excited about this
#disability#chronic pain#mobility aid#i am officially running a thing to make my university accessible#i am so ready to fight people over it and I've recruited a bunch of people#we may or may not end up in our local news too#im done with this shit#literally on Friday had to walk around the building bc the elevator broke again and i couldn't do stairs#should take 30 seconds instead took like 10 minutes
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unconditionally
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#im shaky and numb the way this took years off my life#genuinely cannot believe i thought it was smart to make it a comic i could have stuck at a painting and it would have been fine#but nooooooo in my hubris i thought Surely im an expert at this longform stuff now Surely i can do it :)#and then it killed me it killed me dead this is like over twice as long as the train comic and 4 times as detailed#backgrounds . angles. i yearn fr death.#AND I HAD 2 WRITE THEM ACTUALLY TALKING GGSDH i am actually so insecure abt the way the dialogue flows gomen....#i wanted to add more to it to fix how clipped and rushed i think it reads#but that would mean drawing more expressions would mean drawing more panels would mean more gd hyDRANGEAS#so ultimately i decided 2 have the conversation take the hit because let me tell u.#if i have to draw. one more blue petal i will snap i will lose it#i knew tht would happen n wanted to alleviate some of the pain so i found a few brushes that helped speed up the process#but the thing w a lot of premade flower brushes is they also come preshaded n look uniform in a way that stands out badly against my style#so i had 2 render over them anyway........#yuuji's domain rly putting me through the wringer first the train station now death by a bajillion petals smh#all that to say tho . my labour of love . i am going to take a nap#hina.comic
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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the category is hurt/comfort
#im not that too deep in the game’s plot yet#but hc that nemesis is salty that melinoë has to carry the burden on her own#but she can’t do anything about it because of the fates???#and all she wants is to protect mel from all the pain#‘i am willing to become your foe if it means you’ll be safe’#hades game#hades 2#nemesis#melinoë#melnem#sketch#fanart#myart#drawing#procreate
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these guys are so annoying just kiss already
#fanart#art#artists on tumblr#my art#supernatural#dean winchester#castiel#deancas#destiel#oh no#im in so much pain because of them#i am not immune to destiel propaganda
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Pain is a great motivator…
Part 26 || First || Previous || Next
—Full Series—
Meanwhile Toriel:
(Loud noises don't wake her up usually.)
Artist note: I’m so proud of this :))) I know it’s a lot of dialogue and reading, but dialogue is grueling work for me. I’m glad with the art and for the amount of pages I made in such a relatively short time span -w- page 5 was super fun to work on. A lot of blood, sweat, and hours here... :) The backgrounds were a big bore tbh, but I finished them! Yippie!
#CHARA WTF DO YOU MEAN “COMPUTER”????#lol i hope you guys dont hate me for what im doing in the next update.#IS THAT A MAC OS???#Yes......owo''#Kris and the Gang are LITTLE now. I've pixelated them and turned them into little game characters!#FINALLY!!#I never thought I would be going so far in the story to explain WHY Kris pulls out their SOUL and opens Darkfountains even when they killed#Berdly in Chapter 2. Pain can make people do horrible things.#Uhhhhhhhhh anyways. :3 I hope you liked it! I made this post a little too long for my liking and didnt get it out when i wanted too-#but thats okay! As long as people enjoy it :)#bread#art#deltarune chara timeline#deltarune chara timeline comic#seriously though#long post#man am I glad I switched over to the limited color palet! It helps me feel alot more relaxed uwu#This is....way over 16 hours of work q-q#chara#asriel#susie#kris#asriel dreemurr#kris dreemurr#kris deltarune#susie deltarune#deltarune#comic#my art
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I need to be put down immediately
#AAAAAAAH#ANNDFONSNEBFNGKFB#BSENRNOFHENDNFKFN#IM NOT OKAYYY#I am in so much pain#portgas d ace#monkey d luffy#ace#luffy#asl brothers#ace one piece#luffy one piece#one piece#post war arc
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atsumu makes me go insane haha.. oikage's property..
#miya atsumu#oikawa tooru#kageyama tobio#atsuoikage#haikyuu#i forgot how painful it is to draw the cgaracters and be like YAY IM DONE and then realize i still need to draw the tats#but i will persevere#bc tattoos are hot..#also i am a tattoo artist irl so.. i have many thoughts and ideas HAHAHA
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a glass sun 1/2
#my art#my stuff#this is really fucking long so im gonna have to break it up into multiple reblogs#(howling) WAUGHHHHHHH#i love aishang by xiaoshiguniang#i love to implicate my alma mater in my art about being gay in the shittiest most conservative corner of singaporean society#by some terrible trick of fate i ended up in the conservative chinese christian cishet circuit from primary school to end of hs#obviously i am not most of these things but there i was. Depressed#and there i was after that at Liberal Arts College. the 4 years i spent there were a clusterfuck#but like a good and outrageous and lively clusterfuck#and i graduated in may this year and when i came back it was for the first time in 10 months. it was like. what da hell#like i love being here in specific ways but there is also the pain of being seen as something you're not constantly#can i blame them? i ask myself this every day. for most of my ex classmates and relatives i Am the only not cis person they know#idk my lottery number was bad this corner of society really is that bad#and so its like. idk dawg anyway i aint offering solutions but u get it like it fucks with your head to be misgendered either which way 24/#but to leave them behind would be to leave the only people who knew me for the first 19 years behind. and thats a lot of my life#i am 23!!!!!! ough#anyway. whatever. if u liked it i have a ko-fi#reblogos appreciated
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"this is regrettably the best kiss of your life, you understand?"
#that “you understand?” kills me everytime...#i love how high condis voice got during this bit its so fkn funny DHASHGFSFGHASFhg#hi yes have the inevitable ep21 crit kiss piece except i watched ep53 today and am so 😀 im so 😀 damn i m so 😀#i love eps where they just go through so many different gimmick rooms its so fun its so fun when its not so painful 😀#happy valentines too ig#just roll with it#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#jrwi chip#jay ferin#jrwi fish and chips#my art#i had a bit of a meltdown over gill through uhm... 1-3am today and i just hm#sorry to everyone in the mayors QAC uhm im not really sorry but like sorry if you could hear every msg ping uhm yeah#it was like hours of me sobbing to myself in the interests channel and it was really good for my mental health ngl like its really therapeu#-tic to just scream abt a blorbo all night#and i ended up dreaming abt infodumping to one of my brothers friends of all ppl n i got so intense abt how much i love marshall john n my#brother came into the room and dragged his friend out 😭😭😭 i just wanted to ramble abt the himbo pls.....#my walls of tags are so consistent... only consistent thing abt this fkn blog smh.
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One of my biggest pieces of advice for those taking injectable hormones is to make sure you're injecting at the right angle
For intramuscular (IM), you inject at a 90° angle.
For subcutaneous (SQ), you inject at a 45° angle.
Here is a graphic depicting what the angle of your injection should look like:
An image description is provided in the ALT text.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#trans advice#just did my IM shot and that's why i'm making this#i've saved myself a LOT of pain once i actually started paying attention to the angle i am injecting at#i was so much more focused on making sure everything else was right and i slacked on being sure i'm injecting at 90°#hopefully the ID makes sense 👍#i pulled the graphic off the internet which is why dermis is included. afaik dermis isn't a technique used for HRT#needle tw#needles tw#injection tw#described images#image description in alt
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Picked up watercolor again, after not doing anything with it for years lol Pretty happy with how it turned out!
Anyway, Cult of the Lamb fanart- because it lives rent free in my head. Specifically the Lamb/Narinder ship. I live for this ship, I do not know why. It just scratches my brain like very fiew ship can.
#cabi leodrann#traditional art#watercolor#cult of the lamb#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#lamb#cat#red#art#flowers#I am very proud of how it turned out#like watercolor is hell when youre rusty#but it went pretty well and smooth#only Narinder was a bit of pain on the contrast#still room for improvement but im very happy right now
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all i have left
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fanart#jjk fanart#fushiguro megumi#itadori yuuji#yuuji#megumi#hhhhhhhhh why angsty mood im hurting my me :((((((#go from megumi angst 2 dumb outfits then HARD pivot back 2 angst#u dont understand th clench in my heart i get drawing th sukuna scars on megumi i genuinely hate it so much#theyre such a Part of yuuji's design tht drawing them on megumi feels so viscerally wrong n it just hammers home that nothing is alright#had to listen 2 the cutesiest music possible while drawing this 2 keep myself sane#miku miku beam th pain away :)#real talk tho like. im really not one to b terribly emotionally affected by my own art. or to draw from my Own emotional state at all rly#i tend 2 keep myself pretty distant#but theres smth abt this one man this one pulls at th kokoro :(#suffering from success ig :/#created an emotionally poignant piece n it hurt. 0/10 wld not recommend. am going back to drawing boys shirtless >:c#gna draw something else so i stop feeling genuine human emotion
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From "Unadulterated Loathing" in which Charlie chains these two idiots accidentally together by @otsmosis (who made this comment at the end of the last chapter and inspired me to do whatever this is above)
#i was forced to colour this and its always painful and out of my comfort zone hallelujah#let me just tag this real quick i have a lot to say#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#radioapple#appleradio#lucifer morningstar#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor x lucifer#okay we are back#FIRST things first#oh shit i forgot#my art#i watched silence of the lambs for the first time#and i think that hannibal lecter is just normal smart#but everyone else is really really fucking stupid#OH THE FIC I FORGOT TO SAY#i needed something uplifting and im so happy that i found it#if any of you is in need of some cheering up please give it a read#i am EXCITED for the next chapter#i just love it when charlie screams in someones face#AND THAT “ALASTOR HEAVED OUT A DISGUSTED SOUND” is absolutely me and my best friend every five minutes if we dont like something#i now use a screenshot of that sentence to express my discomfort in our chat#wow im so shit at giving compliments and i am stuck in an endless loop of “wow i loved it so much it was great”#BUT I REALLY LOVED IT
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