#im always tired and annoyed
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i have been stressed, overwhelmed and always exhausted for days, if not weeks, on end.
So, I dont really care if not wanting to spend money and time I dont have to go fucking bOWLING 7:30 PM THE WEEKEND BEFORE A SEMINAR PRESENTATION MAKES ME A SHITTY FRIEND
#happy bday tho#like im sorry im so jaded and reclusive but GOD PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE#we had to say almost 2 hours standing in a hot stuffy space for that FORSAKEN CIENTIFIC JOURNEY SHIT#i literally cannot take this anymore#there were so many ppl just stuff there like a pack of sardines I have to yell for someone right next to me to hear me#AND i had to repeat the same lenghty explanation like 5 different times#i know end of semesters are chaos incarnate but tHIS IS NOT NORMAL#im always tired and annoyed#and it takes me FOREVER to write shit thats supposed to be easy#I DONT HAVE TIME FOR FUCK ALL#OR EVEN REGULAR HOBBIES#I LITERALLY SIT IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER FROM THE MOMENT I WAKE UP TO THE TIME I GOTTA GET READY FOR CLASS#YEAH IM COMPLANING EVEN THO I DONT EVEN HAVE A FUCKING JOB#YES I KNOW I HAVE MUCH EASIER THAN A LOT OF PEOPLE#INCLUDING PPL IN MY CLASS#IM STILL ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN#i literally do NOT know how ppl do this on top of a full time job#jesus fucking christ#Hydration Reminder: keeping up with star-mum but everytime I have the sudden urge to start bawling my eyes out you drink some water ! : D#should I be in therapy? Yes.#Should I propably be going after an adhd diagnosis? ALSO YES#guess what the clinic was meant to call me back to lmk if they had opening and I only noticed they hadnt after 3 fucking months#which... helps my point but its also VERY counter productive#star is a bad friend :p#star rants
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just tiresome scribblings today...a Slug
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i found one in the kitchen..i was freaked out but the person who owns the house never saw it so they dont quite believe me..#a real lack of concern there.......but it's not my house so ok....#bugs always used to get in my flat when i lived in japan and they were waaaayyy grosser and annoying creatures there so whatever#qifrey called it 'madam' because only girls mess up his floor.#i'm getting annoyed by my art again. getting out scribbles is fun but im too tired to make GOOD ones#maybe the annoyance is good since it shows im recovering from a depression spell enough that im forgetting how much worse not scribbling is#i'm playing edgeworth game so i have drawn some of him too but not enough to post. i love that homosexual man
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hehe~~ i am soooooo sleepy and tired right now :3 i’m all cuddled up in all my blankets🥰 so warm and comfy hehe…..oh and also my past is haunting me😐
#girl help i tried to go to sleep but remembered the Anger™️#experienced a Situation recently that i have been very bravely and sexily ignoring#and - literally WHO would have known - ignoring it is not making it better lol#so now i lay down all comfy to sleep and my brain is just like: the thing😦#and then i gotta stay AWAKE😒 so i can distract myself from the thing#until im tired enough to sleep BEFORE my brain remembers the thing#smh#it sucks#also im good mostly!#it’s just hitting me worse rn because my period always puts my emotions out of whack😪#but im getting proper sleep and everything#and hope to take action to lessen the impact of the thing soon it just takes time ya know#like sometimes things ARE going to hurt you and bother you for a while#and that’s just how it is#but life will move on eventually and good things will come to steal some of the space those bad things take up#just gotta be patient😪#sorry for my nonsense rambles again#i just found it really funny#because tonight i really was legitimately more annoyed by the disruption to my sleep than i was about the life changing situation lol#sleep is my number one priority at any given moment fr#to be fair though i WAS so comfy and tired from cramps and really looking forward to sleep#so i think i was justified😤😤
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"Seungmin would be SO hot if he got muscle like, can you imagine?" You would be hotter if you shut your mouth but we can't always get what we want so <3
#the amount of times ive seen this exact comment or sentiment over the past 6ish months in particular#truly pissing me off <3#like first things first- hes already handsome so if you dont see that... its fine. we all have different tastes but also be quiet <3#but like we know first hand from him that he isnt particularly interested in the gym and working out#hes not a changbin. its not his thing- he goes to keep up stamina for live shows#and the fact hes been very specific in saying so any time anyone mentions him working out and going to the gym is so like......#its kinda obvious that hes doing a polite 'please dont hassle me about getting bigger' so he makes sure to always go Its For Endurance#and yet i still see this and also. um theres other members who are muscley so why does seungmin also have to follow that route?#like if you want muscle theres people you can go look at... but also half these people cant even identify actual healthy muscle#vs. someone being so skinny that they have no fat on them and somehow think thats real muscle so like lol#its been so specifically the past half a year tho like whats that about why#its really one of those be quiet im so tired#well on the otherhand i was so stressed about my doctors appointment but now annoyance took the worries place so 🤷♀️#like its funny how X should lose weight comments are recognised for being shitty but the 'x should totally change his physique' is chill tho#like if seungmin organically of his own accord ever becomes a muscle bro bc /he/ wants that than for sure i'll be like Woo go seungmin !!#but only if he wants it. not the fans being annoying not bc of staff or beauty standards not bc of the other guys
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#good grief im gettin a lil tired of seeing 'DONT DO THIS' kinda art videos#i very much understand its a youtube thing and that clickbait names and thumbs get the views and attention needed#but it doesnt mean it doesnt annoy me or that I cant be annoyed by it#sometimes i just see it in tutorial pictures too#but the large DONTS with red Xs near the supposed ''wrong'' way of drawing is so demotivating#people start and draw in many ways than one#its what makes art their own#but when videos or tutorial posts are made and show the ''WRONG'' way to go about it#its like scolding the new artist or long time artist with that style that they're doing it wrong and that its bad#no matter the intention its not the way to go about helping artists learn to draw#and in my personal opinion#the click bait ''DONT DO THIS WHEN DRAWING'' thing is what keeps me from actually watching the vids#i get theyre probably helpful but i don't like that I have to feel some NEED or DESIRE to click on a vid cause I feel like I did a thing#wrong or that i never should have done it at all#i wish i could see more 'here are some tips that helped me#kinda vids cause yes i would love to learn what helped you rather than being or feeling wronged for drawing in a way that isn't theirs#im rambling but i have been seeing a lot of 'DONT DO THIS' NEVER DO THIS' 'IF YOURE DOING THIS STOP NOW' kinda art vids#im speakin for myself here#but im an artist sifting through art youtube or spaces always willing to learn new ways of improving my art#i dont need to feel click baited like the next 3am don't this kid to learn how to improve my inking skills#if it was more a 'this is my personal preference and I wanna share it with my audience and maybe teach some things' kinda vid#id watch that too#but im just so tired of seeing art youtube going down this need to tell folks 'YOURE DOING IT ALL WRONG. THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY"
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i feel stupid and gullible and annoying and rejected and pathetic and silly and like a big inconvenience
#everytime he randomly falls asleep when im talking i feel like crying and fucking stupid and idiotic and annoying and like why did i ever#speak at all ever#why doesnt he just say hey im rly tired i cant talk goodnight BEFORE it gets to the point where he falls asleep on me😭#i get rly exhausted like that too and i just say goodnight before that and then when i am awake and exhausted i dont risk falling asleep on#anyone#ugh itd fine i always overreact i cant make him feel bad for everything he does. its not his fault i take everything personally lmao
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Happy disability pride month to ppl who have disorders/disabilities that are mostly annoying to deal with. It doesn't mean you're "faking it", or that it isn't a "real disability". This month is still for you
#disability pride month#disability pride#idk how to tag this lol#but as someone who IS disabled and has a couple of disorders that make life just annoying to get through l#that is a disability. life is not typically annoying or a slog to live#i have an autoimmune disorder that mostly shows up in menopausal women and chronic fatigue (not cfs tho) and executive dysfunction (not adhd#but together they make life SO ANNOYING ALL THE TIME#im ALWAYS ITCHY and ALWAYS TIRED and CANT DO ANYTHING EVER#and its annoying#so to everyone who is living a similar thing and feels like they are faking it#youre not. this month is still for you
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eusgahhhhh goddddd the lazy urge to just beg the internet to mansplain killer's lore to me in baby talk so i can finally GET IT and then the other less appealing urge to actually do an analysis on him so i can form my own opinion and observations. fucj
#im so tired maaaan eudgahhhhhh#i need to come up with more asks to ask people#because apparently i want to do that now. whats wrong with you brain why do you want this#im so TIRED i could EAT a WHALE!#i need to DO IT. I NEED TO ACTUALLY DO A FUCKING KILLER ANALYSIS ITS BEEN TOO LONG#thanksgiving break is coming up will that be enough for me to want to study him with my magnifying glass#this feels like sans and papyrus are the energy controlling angel and demons on my shoulders#speaking of classic undertale this has actually nothing to do with undertale LMAO#but i can just imagine myself as chara in the murder time trio fangame fight#aaaahahahahahaha horror would be so maaad <33333 i DID just destroy his entire au after all :333#and dust would be FURIOUS!!! BOTH OF THEM!!!! SO PISSED AT ME!!!!#i just took away one's place of achieving a goal and another's place of demented comfort#yeaaaah those two would be SO pissed heehehehehehe#horror never gets to have his potential happy ending because i took it away#dust never gets to honor all those he killed and put an end to what he did because of ME#the murder time trio fangame concept is SO underrated guys. touken-kamui's mtt is AMAZING#and because i look like a chara of course killer's got an entire internal conflict going on#FUCK alright sure. unsure of where this thought process will lead but we ball. me when thinking about anything killer related (i am unsure)#ANOTHER fucking chara messed up his life eruaghhhh and to make things worse they dont even seem to LIKE something new#touken-kamui's chara seems to be a megalomaniac instead of a shitty sadistic scientist#i would look so similar to the one that he doesn't know if he hates or not#should he fight alongside these 2 strangers or should he submit like he always did to his chara. to this NEW chara???#and this is all just assuming this is that 1 ending where killer kills chara and hasnt met nm yet (my favorite ending)#EFUAGH!!!! would killer stay back after the first few minutes. let dust and horror fight in steed of him as he deals w this#the two would be SO annoyed at him too. at this point if i wasn't there they'd probably kill eachother. or killer#well killer can't save or reset in the judgement hall that we got sucked into#so he actually has to put some value to his body and life if he wants to fight me#SEE WHAT I MEAN TOUKEN-KAMUI'S MURDER TIME TRIO IS AWESOME!!!!!#tricule rant#this got totally off topic from what the post was about but i should do it
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i wish ppl would just shut up when ppl say they're afraid of something i don't care if you think it's stupid or unnecessary or the thing they're afraid of is already widely disliked by many people you don't understand where ppls trauma is coming from and even if there isn't any trauma causing the fear just shut up and move on
#people do this to me about spiders theyre always like omg it wont do anything to you but thats the fucking thing#that annoys me so much i know it wont do anything to me i know they are important to the environment but im still fucking scared#of spiders they just look scary and i literally freeze up and cry when i see a huge one like i genuinely get scared#i dont care that its smaller than me i dont care that you think theyre cute i dont care that youre tired of ppl hating#spiders. im scared of them because i am you dont neee to give me biology 101 to try and get me to not be scared leave me alone#i feel the same way abt ppl who laugh at ppl for being scared of dogs#'oh? ur scared of the 4 yr old dog is barking at you?' like so what if this is the case? shut up!!!! it doesn't matter that u think its#stupid alot of these fears that ppl think are stupid aren't a open door for u to ne patronising just shut the fuck up#there is a girl i know who has a phobia of crisps/chips and ppl think its stupid and inconvenient#like. who cares if u think its stupid there is a real trauma behind her fear and even if there wasnt literally. calm down and go somewhere#else and eat the crisps like omfg
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raph!! :)
#tmnt 2003#tmnt#tmnt raph#teenage mutant ninja turtles#my art#im sick rn 😔 im not gonna make it guys#it’s lik a mild cold but it’s annoying bc im tired and I wanna do stuff but i feel horrible bleh this sucks#i hate captioning art i was just gonna write ‘raph’ and call it a day but that looks lackluster yknow#also my art style is literally always changing but eh i like it it’s fine
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super long big huge tired sigh
#im so sick and tired of people#im so sick and tired of only being talked to / used when it benefits other people#i will always live by the fact that friendships are not transactional but#where is the line#i am not an endlessly supply of energy and support just for you i’m sorry#im just not#im not.#im really not.#you’re not a friend to me when you just hang out or text me when it’s convenient for you#i give my all#all the time#i make an EFFORT even when im going through shit#i communicate#and what tf do you do#what do you give me#when god forbid I#ME#I have to say soemthing. I need to rant or I need to talk abt something personal#where are you when i need help???#nowhere! you’re barely there!#i dont need ur dry one word responses or ur lack of interest showing in ur tone of voice#like atp just tell me outright u dont give a shit about me#please it’s so much easier. cuz then i feel batshit crazy for being enthusiastic n actually wanting to talk to u#and i feel annoying and stupid and like a burden#just be honest n stop wasting my time thank you sm#about to go ballistic swear to god#♡ dear diary…
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i always go to bed really late because i dont want to go to sleep but from the moment i lay down to the moment i wake up im like omg sleeping is so amazing i should do more of it but then five minutes later once im awake im like hahaha funny i dont even need sleep im on 4 hours and im perfectly fine
#(posting this at 2:30am)#i always feel really tired in the morning#when i first wake up#my eyes genuinely hurt to stay open#but then maybe ten or so minutes later#i feel fine again#and i come natrually caffinated#so im jumping up and down like YAYAYYAYA#and then i dont sleep that night because i was fine before#its a never ending cycle#eunoia annoys '♡'
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I just wanted to reach out to folks and say thanks for not scrutinizing me for interacting with a little more selfship content than usual lately. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, and I just hope I'm not being overbearing with that kind of content ?
#I'm going through a rough patch in my life and so it's bringing me a lot of comfort to be in that community space right now ^_^#tai talks#i know people probably dont mind but im just ?? idk i get worried people will get tired of me when i go through a content dry spell#and i have a lot of friends who kind of have a distaste for the s/ship community or are just very impartial to it#ive always been a s/ship safe space and i dont think that will ever change but im also trying to unlearn shame and have a little fun with it#its just been heavy on my mind.#especially whenever i want to rb a fun s/ship question with my own answers but choose not to because ... idk?#im afraid people will become annoyed or frustrated with my presence instead of positive things#i dont think that feeling will ever go away but idk. i love my friends who are s/ship blogs and i love seeing peoples content for that!#it brings me a lot of joy recently#anyways if you read all that .... thank you ^_^ <33
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adding to my tags because i’ve been thinkin a lot about the post i just reblogged and have more thoughts:
i’ll be real, the more i saw ‘hey adhd influencers are so annoying’ the more i worried that i was unconsciously contributing to the spreading reputation of adhd folks as annoying and over-pathologizing every symptom they experience
and then i realized. i am not a goddam influencer or life coach or representative. obviously i have some obligation as someone who cares about myself and the people that like my comics to not spread harmful ideology or blatant misinformation but i never intended myself to be a “’increase your productivity!!’ blog OR a ‘if you have XYZ you have adhd!’ blog. and i do this for fun, and originally started this blog bc i had a lot of internalized shame and self loathing about my adhd and thought if i could make it funny i might have less of that. let’s get real! and it worked!
i’ve obviously done this kind of thing— (hey these symptoms might be adhd!) a lot before in my life & on this blog, but there’s more to it than trying to be an “influencer” or whatever. a term that didn’t even exist when i started this blog!
i felt very isolated trying to find out if i had any mental problems & what have you originally because of large advice (etc) blogs with staunchly anti self Dx views at the time
so i overcorrected when i DID get dxed and tried to validate everyone who was like me. and of course. not the best course of action always for the ol mental health. tried to be the source of positivity and jokes that i didn’t see because the online adhd presence was near non-existent.
and anyway. i make a lot of fun of myself & the way m brain works in my comics obviously but it is not my obligation to... how do you say.... not be annoying online.
because if folks interpret MY little jokes as a strict guide to diagnosis. that’s on them, really, not me. i also believe “making adhd your entire personality” is a non-issue. so what if people find out they have it and get over excited with identifying as adhd. saying this as someone who DID do it. criticism of this gives the same vibes as people being annoyed that young queers make “being queer” their whole personality. im very obviously more than a guy with adhd, and id reckon other adhd comic artists are too. (im friends with a lot of them!) it’s fine to post about it online.
anyway. i just don’t take myself too seriously and i’m a comic artist for myself first! and you know what, i’ve been considered annoying my entire life. what do i care if a few more folks think i’m annoying. neurotypical or not
#i think the article did have some good points especially on the capitalism and marketing angle but i oft think it did venture into#being mad at individual folks who post jokes about adhd. which is literally fine thats what an opinion piece is for lol#i am just very tired of people pretending that a lot of reaction to online adhders is not in itself just an extension of the ableism#we already were facing#'adhd people are so annoying everyone does this youre pathologizing everything' ok and how exactly are you helping.#i hesitate to throw my hat in with hating on adhd tiktok because i am simply not on tiktok and have no way to back up my thoughts#that they may be annoying and oversimplifying a complex disorder on the 'drains your attention span' website.#and i think perhaps the value of each adhd resource varies widely depending on who made it and what theyre even posting.#sometimes its a joke made by a person with adhd. sometimes its sourced and cited research. sometimes its someone discussing their personal#experiences in depth. sometimes its someone talking completely out of their ass. sometimes its THINLY veiled ableism.#its up to the individual to research and determine the value of the memes and resources you seek#anyway. perhaps these points are tough to clarify on sites like insta and twitter. bless.#text#adhd#im punk now#oh and yeah i also agree lots of folks do not talk about the unsavory parts of adhd but rather the funnies and the sillies. but that is#once again a larger capitalism and marketing and ableism problem#r we not talking about them because we are actively trying to infantalize this disorder or is it because we collectively experience a lot#of internalized ableism and hesitate to talk about our worst symptoms for fear of the backlash#weve always gotten about them 🤔🤔🤔#much to consider#if youve read this far sorry for tangent number 56 about this. but also start being more unapologetic about your disorders. fuck it!#<3
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the moment people stop being comically against courtney is the day i stop making fun of them for being weird and wrong. stop being weird about a fictional character in ways that are hilariously stupid and ill stop calling you hilariously stupid
#people see my posts and vauge post about it saying UM WELL I DONT HATE COURTNEY SO WHY DID YOU SAY THAT#im not fucking talking about you oh my gOD IM SO TIRED OF SEEING IT. sorry i try to be normal but why have discussions around her regressed#like its gotten so much worse WHYYY OH MY GODDD. “omfg courtney fans always jump to courtney haters being misogynists”#no i jump to you being a fucking weirdo for caring so much which makes me raise my eyebrows#i literally enjoy other people having different opinions about characters i like and dislike bc everyone echoing me would be so boring#but people never like her for the valid reasons there are to dislike her and jump on her in crazy fucking ways. BEEE NORMALLL BE FUCKING N#ps talks#jesus fuck i try not to say shit like this over and over and over again because; again; i dont like seeing my own opinions everywhere#i dont want people to see my opinions and repeat it every 5 seconds even though i dont think i have that much influence#its just when i see people posting about my posts saying that im weird for defending a character so hard it drives me nuts bc#it feels like people lost the damn plot so hard. you have to reach so far to think i fucking care if people dislike courtney BECAUSE I DONT#IVE SAOID THIS 5 BILLION TIMES I ENJOY SEEING CHARACTERS IN DIFFERENT LIGHT. AS LONG AS YOUR OPINION ISNT FUCKING WEIRD#sorry im getting so annoyed i need to go to sleep i havent eaten anything in like 20 hours
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So I've been getting a lot of new followers and I figured I should clear some things up.
Just-shower-thoughts is a bot that reposts from the r/showerthpughts reddit. I am a simple person who 2 years ago started this blog on an impulse with the purpose to 'respond' to just shower thoughts (jst). Over the years it's been a way to get out a little aggression and clear up misinfo. I would not feel comfortable being rude to jst if I wasn't 100% sure they're a bot, and if jst ever asks me to stop I will. But bottom line: the person who originally made the post on reddit likely won't ever see what I write, I try to avoid attacking in a personal way, and where I can I try to fact check what's being said.
#gay thoughts#sometimes i probably am a little too aggressive or rude but i am also human and its not alway the easiest to convey tone over text#i love interacting with yall but it does get a little annoying to constantly see stuff about me being a little rude and i get it#but im getting tired of repeating the whole above speil
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