#im allison about to fucking murder him

[grapetriip]

anyone up for bg3 aftg au w dark urge neil

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

Umbrella Academy season 1 episode 1

Okay, someone correct me if I'm wrong, but this girl was not pregnant before she went in the water

I love it when a question of mine immediately gets answered

This feels cartoon villainish as fuck

Why is Tom Hopper in space

So they're all *supposed* to be the same age but Five is due to time travel shenanigans as I understand it

I get the feeling that Klaus will not, in fact, stay sober. I do immediately like his vibes

What a shitty way to find out your father is dead

I was right about the sober thing

Is this a weather powers thing? Or is this a coincidence? I don't actually know what most of their powers are

There are only 6 children in that portrait, and suddenly the "brothers" instead of "siblings" question makes a bit more sense...

Damn this guy was really bad at keeping his kids around/alive, huh

What did Vanya do?

Hearing Tom Hopper do an American(? It sounds a bit odd to me) accent is unsettling

A monkey!

Well that's appropriately heart breaking

Well these vibes are weird as fuck

Yeah, that went well

I now understand the rumor thing

Ooh, teleportation

Does Ben turn into a creature? Is that his power?

"I'm afraid there's just nothing special about you" wow holy crap, what an asshole

Whoops

I dance like Vanya

There he is

None of them seem to like each other (except for Allison and Luther), but I'm trusting the process, this is only episode 1 after all

Ah so they are cold towards her because of the book.

Five seems... hm. I don't know how to put this? Sympathetic but in a gruff way. Cause aren't they all dead in his future?

These feel like valid arguments, and he should say them, but I feel like this was not the best time for them

The boys are fighting!

I love Klaus putting an arm back to shield Five and he swats it away with a Look at Klaus

Is the Ben statue going to- yup. I had a feeling due to the blocking

Okay so the going from him watching them sleep with the brain activity, to specially Vanya, the "not special" one of the group, to present day of her knocking back pills? Makes me wonder if she DOES have abilities, he knew it, and he kept that from her and the others while giving her medication to supress it, leading to her alienation and breaking away from him and the family. Or those could just be perfectly normal prescription drugs and I'm over analyzing

Oh good they establish right off that he's a murderous bastard

Is the person Klaus is talking to Ben? :D

If this show makes me love the dead guy and then he ceases to exist, imma be upset

Im either going to really like the relationship between Vanya and Five or it's going to destroy me, potentially both

Oh damn. Uhhhh. Okay I think I understand more why he is like this if he was alone for all those years. But I somehow doubt he was entirely alone?

Well I am certainly intrigued!

[stilespeters]

SALVATION (series)

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6)

pairing: colin zabel x reader

words: 1649

a/n: soo i decided to make this part shorter, the next one will be longer. Im sorry for not posting in a long time, idk if people still read salvation, but i do plan on posting more regularly:)

summary: you and colin make a plan to solve the case and head to the opening of the Hotel Cortez

warnings: swearing, a bit of info dump

part 4: salvation

The next day, you and Colin met up at a diner, and discussed the plan for Saturday when you would go to the Cortez. You had to know what the two of you were searching for. If you were there and you didn't know what to do, it would be pointless. All you knew was that the Cortez had something to do with the murders.

While you had ordered food, Colin explained to you why he suspected the Hotel Cortez was linked to the recent killings.

“I went through the files, and something caught my eye. The first two couples that were murdered two weeks ago had an invitation to the opening of the Hotel Cortez. It was found by forensics examiners in the living room. The examiners didn't find anything in Marie and Bernard’s living room. However, this afternoon I went back to the crime scene and looked more thoroughly in the upstairs bedroom, and know what I found?”

Your eyes widened. “An invitation to the opening of the Hotel Cortez.”

“Exactly,” Colin continued. “I found it in the drawer in the nightstand. Which means that all three of the couples that have been murdered, had an invitation. I don't think it’s a coincidence.” You took a bite of your food. So James March gave invitations to people who were now brutally murdered. It was indeed suspicious.

“What we know is that the killer isn't done killing, so we need to prevent him from doing so. I believe that the next victim also has an invite to the opening,"

"but how do we know who is the next target?”

Colin rubbed his temples and drank from his coke. “I don’t know yet.”

“This sick fuck is twisted beyond insanity,” you began and you grimaced. “What is the motive? Why suddenly after 5 years, is someone finishing what Kai started? I just don’t understand, something is just off about all of this, why would someone copy Kai? Why would James send invitations to future victims? How is everything connected?" you questioned while saying your thoughts aloud.

“A message.”

“What?”

“Maybe he is trying to send a message. 7 years ago, Kai killed 11 people, and he all did it with one goal: spread fear. One thing why it’s called the ‘fear is truth’ killings, is because each letter of the victims first name made the sentence ‘fear is truth.” you found it hard to follow his words but you tried your best.

“The first victim in 2016 was named Frances, the second one was Erin, the third one was Allison, then came Rory, then Isa, Sarah, Troy, Randy, Ursula, Thomas and Harrison. If you put all of the first letters of their names together in the order of the killings, you get ‘Fear Is Truth’. That's why it was so popular in the true crime media, and why it was called the 'FIT' murders."

You leaned forward in intrigue, and pressed your fingers to your temples.

“So what message is the killer trying to send?” you questioned and you sighed. “It could be that the copycat is also trying to spell a word with his victim's names.” You grabbed a napkin and grabbed the pen. You didn't remember who were the latest victims, but Colin immediately knew what you were trying to do, and he grabbed the files.

“The first victims are Janet and Max. The second victims were Chris and Clara, and the third and most recent victims are Bernard and Marie.”

“Which spells…” you underlined the first letters of their names. “It spells JMCCBM.”

You closed your eyes in disappointment and frustration. You really thought that this was something. Colin however, didn't give up yet. “Wait,” he started and he wrote everyone’s full name on the napkin.

“Janet Stacy, Max Allister, Chris Lee, Clara Vera, Bernard Allen and Marie Tobias.”

He scribbled something and you tried to read what he was writing upside down. “Their last names. Stacy, Allister, Lee, Vera, Allen, Tobias. It spells…” he began and he squinted his eyes. “Salvat?”

“What is Salvat?”

“I don’t know, it looks like the beginning of a word. You think it’s a coincidence?”

“Nothing about this case is a coincidence. This has to be it.” you closed your eyes. You were getting a headache, but you wanted to help Colin and so you thought long and hard. You were getting closer and closer to cracking the code, you just had to have an extra push into the right direction.

Something suddenly clicked in Colin's brain and he snapped his fingers as if trying to make him remember something. “What were the words Kai spoke in court to you?”

You looked up at him and your jaw dropped. You heard Kai’s voice in the back of your head like he was screaming it in your ear. "Fear is the only salvation mankind will ever know.”

“That’s it,” Colin began and the two of you clicked everything together as you spoke in unison. “Salvation.”

“You really think that’s our lead?” you asked and Colin nodded. “Like you said, it can't be a coincidence, nothing about these cases are coincidences. It’s like the killer is killing for fun, but is also trying to send a message. The killer is trying to spread fear again, and he's succeeding.”

A woman walked towards your table and placed two plates of food in front of you. You had ordered fish and chips and you gave the woman a quick smile. Colin continued “It has to be this, I’m sure of it. The killer is trying to finish the word Salvation just like Kai finished the words ‘fear is truth’. He is spelling the words with the letters of the victim's last names. The killer only needs three more letters. I, O and N.”

“So that means that whoever is the next victim has an invitation to the Hotel Cortez, and has a last name that starts with ‘I���.” Everything began to fall in place “Why are the only victims invited to the Hotel Cortez? What makes the Hotel Cortez special? And how do we find out who has an invitation?”

Colin rubbed his temples while thinking hard but before he could have any more time to think, you suddenly chirped up. “Wait, there has to be a guest list, if we see who is invited, we can figure out whose last name starts with an I.”

Colin opened his eyes. “So our goal tomorrow is to get the guest list and prevent the killer from striking again.”

“We have to catch the person who is doing this before he can finish the word ‘Salvation’.”

You and him both smiled as you looked at each other, and it was so satisfying to piece the puzzle together. You had never been interested in these types of things before. The world was cruel enough, but knowing that you might be able to help solve this thing, gave you a satisfying feeling.

Colin held up his hand for a high five.

“You and I, we make a pretty good team.”

--

The next day broke and you were as nervous as ever. The whole day, you had tried to occupy your thoughts with something other than the Hotel Cortez. You had taken the pills Vincent prescribed and to your relief, Kai hadn't shown up anywhere.

You walked down the stairs as the clock struck 7:45. Colin should be here soon to pick you up.

“You look pretty,” Zoe said as you walked into the kitchen and you twirled for her and smiled. “Thank you.”

You wore a wine red dress with spaghetti straps, and it clung to your body in every curve. There was a slit on your right side leading up to your thigh, and the smooth skin of your leg was exposed. Around your neck was a silver necklace that your mother gave you when you were 14, and you had hoop earrings that matched the silver color. You never dressed up like this, but knowing you'd be surrounded by elites, you wanted to dress the part.

Violet walked into the room and she whistled. “Dang, Y/n, you got a date or something?”

You kissed the back of your teeth to that question, and eventually nodded. “I am, actually.”

Zoe smiled. “Shut up?! Who is it?”

Before you could answer, the bell rang and all three of your heads snapped to the door. You fixed your hair one more time and walked to the hall. Zoe and Violet then looked at you as you walked to the door and opened it.

Colin Zabel had his hands in his pockets and looked down, until the door opened and he looked at you. His breath got caught up in his throat and his jaw fell open the slightest. “Holy shit.”

“Hello Detective,” you mused as you looked him up and down. He had a black suit with a black tie, and he looked elegant and stylish, yet he still looked like himself. You had always fancied men who looked great in a suit, but Colin was on a whole other level.

Zoe and Violet eyed him and then they gave you a knowing look. In just a short glance, you could translate their looks. They approved.

“Let me grab my purse and we can go.” You said and you walked to the living room. Zoe followed you and as you were in the living room, she tapped your shoulder. “He is the man from the tv?!” she whisper-shouted and you chuckled. “The detective? You never mentioned that he was your date?” she then looked puzzled “You’re going to the Hotel Cortez with him?”

“I wasn’t planning on going initially… wait- how do you know about the Cortez…” you began but you figured that she saw the invitation on the kitchen counter. “Never mind.”

You turned around and headed for the hall again. “I’m going, I’ll be back later. Don’t open the door for strangers.”

“I won’t. Have fun with your date!”

You reached the hall again and Violet had her arms crossed as she was talking to Colin. He had an unreadable expression on his face and you narrowed your eyes at Violet.

When he saw you, he looked somewhat relieved and he reached his hand out for you. You grabbed it as you walked out of the front door. You stopped for a second to look back ar Violet.

“Violet do me a favor, please don't smoke. or sneak out”

“I won’t.” she promised. You gave her a nod and you began to walk to Colin's car with him at your side.

Violet stood in the doorway and looked one more time at Colin and a smug look appeared on her face. You couldn't even walk 3 meters before she spoke up.

“Hey Y/n,” Violet asked. “Yeah?”

“Do me a favor.” you hummed to her words “Don’t get pregnant.”

She had a smug look on her face and you pressed your lips together in a thin line and rolled your eyes at her. She used your own line against you. Colin raised his eyebrows while looking amused, yet slightly scared. “Don't get what now?”

“Nothing, let's go” you linked your arm with his and together you wakked further without glancing back at your sister "We got a mission to accomplish."

[blueberrygiggles]

oh what boredom does

fandom: the umbrella academt

lee!five, ler!lila

day six (tickletober): chase

ao3 mirror: XX

a/n: OKAY. i wrote this just this morning in between breaks. it might be a bit unedited so sorry about that lol. normally i might just say "oh well guess im not posting today" but i REALLY wanted to write some lila and five bonding. SO. ENJOY!!

Lila got bored easily, she always wanted to be moving, killing, cleaning, doing something. She assumed it was a habit she learned from her mother, which at times left her with a strange taste in her mouth, but she tried to ignore that part of her brain.

Traveling with Diego and his family kept her busy, they were always doing something either incredibly fucking stupid or very fun. Most times it was both. Lila liked the arrangement they had, being with the Hargreeves family in the manor, but sometimes things got quiet. Allison took her daughter out for the day, Luther would go out with Sloane, Klaus went off to… wherever he goes… He was still a bit of a mystery to Lila.

So, today was quiet, and that was fine! No time traveling murderers coming after her was most definitely a good thing!

She was just so bored.

Therefore, the only option to entertain herself was… Well.

“I am going to fucking kill you!”

Five blinked in front of her with his hands reaching out to take the book back from her. She made a quick right around a corner and jumped over the table in the main room. She threw herself behind the couch and landed hard with a small yelp; she clutched the book to her chest and froze.

Five was behind the couch across from her, he watched both sides of her to see where she planned to run so he could lunge at her. She faked a lunge to the right and watched as Five flinched forward in the same direction.

“What are you, twelve?” She looked him up and down and realized her choice of words, she huffed a laugh, “Well, I guess you kind of are.”

Five’s face contorted into one of pure annoyance, it was hysterical, “I’m older than you, you little brat!”

With his last words, Five lunged at her left, Lila sprinted out the door to her left and ran into the kitchen. She, admittedly a bit stupidly, looked behind to see where he was, when she looked in front of her, Five blinked inches from her. She tried to run backwards and out of the kitchen when Five grabbed her arm, if she hadn’t whipped around when she did, she would’ve missed the smile on his face. It left his face as soon as he saw her looking at him.

“Book. Now.”

Lila looked up and tapped her chin as if in thought, “What’s the magic word?”

Five glared at her with squinted eyes and in a flash, he was on the ground, and he kicked out his legs from under her. She landed on her ass, he stood so she was eye level with Five’s knees, he reached down and grabbed the top of the book. Lila reacted in a split second and squeezed at Five’s knees.

He immediately hit the ground and screeched in a more than undignified way. She snorted and threw his book towards the wall.

“Little ticklish, old man?”

Five tried to scramble away from her, a smile still on his face, “Fuck off.”

She, most certainly, was not going to fuck off.

Lila went after him and grabbed at his knees again, he hit her at her hands with a surprising amount of strength, but it wasn’t enough to drive her away.

“FUHUHUCK YOHOHU!”

Lila scoffed, “Well, that’s not very nice, especially coming from someone in your position.”

She moved her hands up just a bit above his knee and she laughed victoriously as Five snorted and tried to pull away from her hands. She could feel his hitting get weaker the longer she went on, she opened her mouth to tease him about it when his hand finally successfully grabbed her wrist. Before she could react, his hands were on his hips, and he managed to throw her off him. He sat against the couch and breathed heavy.

Five held up three fingers and looked at her with a glare, “You get three seconds.”

Lila cursed and backed out of the room to sprint up the stairs.

Well, at least this isn’t boring.

[agaypanic]

UNPOPULAR OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE MEDIA, GO

okok idk how unpopular these opinions are gonna be tbh

Malcolm in the Middle: i lowkey hate craig, i think he's creepy ESPECIALLY in earlier seasons. you'd think that after your MARRIED coworker tells you that she doesn't like you back and there's no way in hell that she'd ever be with you, YOUD TAKE A FUCKING HINT. also while it's on my mind, i remember writing a reese x reader where readers is basically allison in that episode where craig gives her and reese a ride to the concert but he ends up ruining their date, but anon asked for them all to have a good time together and it was SO hard to write! bc if i had paid for concert tickets (most likely really expensive) for me and my bf and my ride purposefully made me miss the concert because he had a "better" plan for "our" date, i would've blown up the car

Malcolm in the Middle: i honestly didn't like the series finale. the only endings i really agreed with were malcolm's and francis' (malcolm was totally meant to go to harvard by any means necessary, even if it meant working a million jobs between classes to cover that tuition. and although he's probably still a bit of a menace, i love that francis got his act together and got a steady job). i think reese deserved a better ending, i think he could've had a really good culinary career instead of being the janitor at his high school. and i know it was probably for a gag/twist ending but i don't like that they made lois pregnant again. GIVE THE WOMAN A BREAK!!

The Naturals: i've made tiktoks about this (which yall don't know about bc you dont know me outside of this platform teehee) but i hate the way lia treats cassie. sure she got kinda better at the VERY end of the SERIES (4 books). but imagine your mom has been missing and presumed murdered for YEARS and (spoliers for books 3-4 teehee) finally the police find her body but it's not actually her and then you find out your mom is actually alive and a captive/prophet for this murder cult AND THAT YOU HAVE A SISTER THAT WAS CONCEIVED INSIDE THAT CULT. NOW imagine that while you're going through all these events, some bitch keeps telling you to keep that shit to yourself bc other people in the group are having more pressing issues and that the group is at problem capacity. BITCH ALL OF YOU HAVE ISSUES, INSTEAD OF WORKING FOR THE FBI YOU SHOULD GO TO THERAPY

Charlie's Angels: im a really big fan of the 2000's charlies angels movies but was a bit disappointed when i watched the 2019 one. dont get me wrong, its good. i just kinda wished there was some more callbacks to the 2000s movies. like imagine my disappointment when the new charlie wasn't revealed to be dylan (which would've given her character a good ending bc dylan couldn't imagine herself leaving the angels, it would make SO much sense if she ended up heading the agency. even making her a bosley would've been good)

That 70s Show: this isn't really that unpopular but the last season honestly sucked. drew gooden made a pretty good video talking about it (i love drew gooden ugh). imo, moving to africa and then breaking up with donna made no sense for eric's character. especially after donna dropped out of college to stay in point place with him! hyde and jackie breaking up? horrible. jackie and fez getting together? why???? (also the timeline for that 70s show makes no sense at all. theres this channel that did a kinda indepth vid on it and tried pinpointing when the show actually would've ended based on the episodes (mainly the holiday episodes, i think making the holiday specials really screwed over the overall timeline))

i cant think of any more opinions teehee

[cough-ii]

aftg as quote book pt 4 !!

“its just a silly little twerk of mine” - nicky

“i wouldn’t mind being called woke. im awake arent i?” neil/wymack

“enter hot take on kevin” *drops the mic, takes a bow* - neil

“Just a reminder we are HALF WAY THERE and we are LIVING ON A PRAYER” - renee @ games

“Led by you hoe” - Alison

“i physically cannot play with my balls in my bedroom” - neil?

“Fuckin this, fuck that fuck fuck fuck” - wymack

“Porn is a genre” - nicky

“Reading porn is better than not reading at all” - nicky

“We are all bussin” - nicky

“Don’t shoot the prime minister…please” - everyone @ andrew

“He gave himself a DIY circumcision” - be creative

“I live under a rock. It;s very warm” - neil

“The only way youre getting out of maths this year is if you kill yourself” - neil

“Don’t kill yourself” - wymack

“Tomorrow we’re going to learn how to be better bullies :)” - dan

“I have nothing important to say ever” - aaron

“I am wrong in the head” - kevin

“Some people say lots of things to get off” - nicky

“It was such a delicious luxury to have a warm drink” - matt

‘I got my pussy waxed’ - alison

‘i feel so much better without my pants’ - matt

“neil you’re flirting” - dan “oops…” neil

“Impact on the victim… DEATH” - andrew

“Stop doing magic in class please” someone to andrew

“‘You look good enough to eat,’ Andrew Minyard had said, the first time he came to pick him (Neil) up. When they got home again he did begin to eat him”

“Hey hoe 💅” alison

“That is tighter than a fishes ass hole” - matt

“Are you ok you look like a drenched rat” - dan

“If I get your name wrong, blame your parents” -wymack

“I was on drugs I didn’t know what I was doing” andrew

“I have thousands of dollars to my name” neil

“why did you threaten me?” kevin “because i wanted to” neil

“Dragons have pronouns too” renee

“i very much enjoy getting renee wet” - Alison, dunking water on renee

“andrew is a crack up” - nicky probably almost got shanked for this

“talk dirty to me” andrew “What if I tied up all your hands and legs and then threw you down the stairs and you died, but we were friends who liked practical jokes, would that be murder?” neil

‘Who was humping the statue?’ - dan

“Little red riding hood in bed with the wolf” - Alison

“His eyes are penetrating you” kevin @ neil unironically

“There are a number of ways you can skin a cat” andrew when one of the cats piss on the bed

‘Just shake ur ass and no one will notice’ nicky

“Why is it always mother fucker this, mother fucker that? Why is it never father fucker” neil

“I’m very private with my fists” dan

“I had some guy in my car and he said ‘i want to commit suicide’ and i said ‘no, not in my car get out’” - twinyards

“Girls, you’re semi-hysterical” wymack

“I touched your boob im sorry” matt @ dan

“Not just jumping off the religious sculpture, they were humping the religious sculpture” - renee, traumatised

‘DANCE you idiot, D-A-N-S…’ - kevin

‘We’ll talk about the sex party another time’ dan

‘I have a gin and tonic every night, it keeps me young’ wymack

“I was in a rage and i broke his nose” neil ab kevin

“Some people need to be chemically castrated” andrew

“Don’t chew gum in front of Jesus” renee

“I’m hearing plenty of smashing noises over here” allison in the cabin

“Oh why don’t you crawl back into your hole” andrew @ neil

“Legalise recreational use of cannibalism” aaron in a presentation

“CMERE YOU LITTLE BOLLOCKS!” wymack

“Stabbing them 3 or 4 times is plenty” andrew

“My brother got dropped on his head” andrew

‘Comparing sizes’ nicky

‘Ive been stalking you all’ kevin

“Shit, Shit, SHIT, Oh my god, SHIT. That’s fucked” nicky

“She called him gay so i threw the chair at her” neil

“I’m gonna die” aaron “Don’t care.” neil

“Get help please” dan

“Young people’s music today, I just don’t get it” abby

“We all have the homosexual gene” andrew

“I’m not going to get you to go around class and looking if people have homosexual characteristics” andrew maybe

‘i saw this really big tombstone and i asked ‘is that where jesus was buried?’’ andrew @ renee

‘What if I worked 55 hours a day?’ matt?

“now that i’m your legal guardian i guess i should look after you” dan a/o matt @ neil

“lesbians are people too” neil

“Charisma test? caress my balls” nicky

“Do you want to do a quickie to de-stress” andrew

“If you are interested in any horizontal refreshment” andrew

“Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace, play with my balls and tell me how big they are” (…….. i have second hand embarrassment) - allison

“Do you think Jesus had daddy issues?” alison

“We all get stressed sometimes but cursing is not fucking ok” dan

“I'm working, im twerking and im jerking” nicky

‘It’s a good kisser it’s so smooth and soft and warm’ neil ab his homework

[bansheenolan]

pain makes you human.

[thesquidgame]

Umbrella Academy Ships as Songs

Klaus and Dave- Norman Fucking Rockwell by Lana Del Rey

Diego and Patch- I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace

Luther and Allison- Light On by Maggie Rogers (I’m so sorry not in my opinion but it reflects the emotions that the characters have)

Five and Dolores- To Be So Lonely by Harry Styles

Agnes and Cha Cha- Love Like That by Lauv

Vanya and Leonard- Lose You To Love Me by Selena Gomez (FUCK YOU LEONARD FUCK YOU LEONARD)

[topperscumslut]

my thoughts reading the first umbrella academy comic book as someone who’s been a fan of the show for years (spoilers for all seasons of the show and the first book)

•damn so we’re really getting right into reggie being an alien huh??

•WE FINALLY GET TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED AT THE EIFFEL TOWER???

•LUTHER 🥲

•can we talk about how he named his lil moon robot ben and still has newspaper articles about the academy and one about ben’s death 🥺

•literally how anyone can hate him i don’t understand

•TELL ME WHY I JUST SAW VANYA’S WHOLE CHEEKS- was the thong really necessary gerard???

•also it still feels transphobic calling her vanya even tho she doesn’t become viktor in the comics bcuz viktor’s transition was written for elliot page like ik she’s still a cis female in the books but saying vanya still makes me feel… grimy idk

•”father’s really dead, isn’t he, pogo?” LUTHER ILY

•he still calls allison rumor and is still wearing the academy mask wow luther hargreeves really is the right where you left me by taylor swift character huh

•tears are streaming down my face in a barnes and noble cafe luther are you OKAY

•someone get these siblings therapy i beg

•KLAUS!!!!!

•klaus definitely seems very similar in both versions

•”because what i found wasn’t just a place where i could hide” five trying to time travel not cuz he’s a stabbing a table with a butter knife cocky little shit but a literal child trying to hide from his abusive father is going to make me combust anyway fuck reginald

•more crying

•the A+ on luther’s paper and the D- on diego’s diego deserves better i am sobbing

•so it’s diego that thinks reggie was murdered in the comics instead of luther?? interesting

•luther and diego are so angsty jesus

•”so start acting like homo sapiens so we can bury your father” POGO PLZ-

•WHY DID DIEGO JUST STRIP GRACE????

•i have SO many questions

•i think im too dumb for this book

•which is embarrassing cuz it’s a comic book

•NOT LUTHER BITCH SLAPPING DIEGO GOODBYE-

•who in the motherfuck is dr terminal

•aidan gallagher was such a perfect casting for number five omg

•”i guess you’re right… [reginald] didn’t love me. but i haven’t spent my life pretending he did.” hello???? are we sure this is the same luther as the luther from the netflix series??

•is it just me or does klaus kinda look like mikey way???? like ik gerard wrote the series so…??

•not five bringing pogo into the fucking coffee shop- 💀🤚

•the way agnes literally does not question the fucking MONKEY god i love her

•five brutally massacring the commission goons and yet still stopping to pay for his drink and thank agnes omfg

•how are y’all shocked allison SAed luther in s3 when she literally SAs him hardly five chapters into the first book??

•it was literally out of nowhere too like- there was BUILD UP and CHEMISTRY and FLIRTING in the show and at least some villain era motivations for allison but in the book they’re literally just talking about claire and allison is still calling her Luther’s NIECE and then she just rumors him into kissing her out of nowhere??? i just audibly gasped in this barnes and noble i am sorry

•vanya is SLIM THICC

•everything is happening so fast in comparison to in the show omg

•is there *something* going on between diego and vanya like there is allison and luther?? or why is he so emotionally attached to her?? please tell me there’s not istg-

•REGINALD?????

•klaus saving the day slay!!!

•i don’t know how to feel. i just got so much information in so little time.

•FIVE AND KLAUS CONTENT YESS!!!

•POGO’S EXCERPTS ABOUT THE KIDS IM GONNA CRY

•OMFG KLAUS ACTUALLY WAS INSPIRED BY MIKEY I AM SCREECHING

•i have so many feelings

[allforthe-gays]

kevaaron headcanons:

aaron lays out kevin's clothing for him after late night practices so he doesn't have to find them when he's tired and sore after a shower

kevin brings aaron snacks and water when he's staying up late studying for big exams because he knows aaron will forget to eat otherwise

they have the same taste in music, so they have mutliple shared spotify playlists that they listen to together on long bus rides to games

matt figures out theyre dating after stalking kevin's spotify and finding a suspicious amount of collaborative playlists with aaron

kevin always wears his sport socks on the correct feet, and will fold aarons socks for him to make sure each pair has a right and a left sock even though theyre all the same color

because aaron is a premed, whenever kevin feels slightly weird he'll immediately ask aaron to diagnose him with something "aaron i think im dying my elbow bone pops out weird when i move it" "babe, you're hypermobile. that's normal."

whenever kevin has to go to pr stuff for the exy team he'll text aaron and ask him to make up an emergency to get him out of it "can i tell whymack i just found out your pregnant and need to take you to the doctor. i want to leave." "kevin. no. do not tell your dad that, just smile and look pretty for 30 more minutes and then you can come back to the dorm and watch supernatural with me."

kevin told neil that he wanted to go on a double date with him and andrew to introduce them to his boyfriend, so they both dragged their respective twin to a diner on campus without telling them why. kevin told andrew he was looking forward to being his inlaw, aaron was appalled while andrew thought it was some convuluted shovel talk because kevin and neil are brotherly or whatever. it wasn't until neil and andrew are driving away that neil goes "you handled that surprisingly well, i thought you'd care more about kevin fucking your brother"

after coming to terms with their relationship andrew is actually kevaaron's #1 fan, but he'd never admit it. kevin will randomly find vouchers for free pumpkin patch tickets, or laser tag or other popular date spots. andrew will never admit its him, but multiple people have seen him put stuff in kevin's wallet.

whenever the foxes have boardgame nights kevin and aaron cheat so much. the foxes thought andrew and neil were bad, but kevin and aaron are so much worse. andreil would just have their weird little silent conversations, but kevaaron just blatantly cheat. "hey babe, when matt's not looking can you look at his cards. I'll tell you what weapon the murderer used if you do." "ok yeah gimme a second" "guys we can hear everything you're saying, kevin get away from matt right now."

kevin is weirdly competitive about everything, including his relationship with aaron. matt holds open a door for dan, and kevin immadeatly offers to carry all of aaron's belongings. neil buys andrew ice cream, and kevin bakes aaron oatmeal cookies. allison buys her and renee matching water bottles, and kevin buys him and aaron matching tracksuits. once the foxes catch on they purposfully start doing stuff for their significant other in front of kevin to see what he will do in retaliation. dan buys matt fresh produce from a farmers market, and kevin tries to make a window planter to grow vegetables in which falls off after he overwaters the seeds he planted and closes his window too hard.

aaron has a very intricate face routine, while kevin has never washed his face and manages to have no acne. kevin eventually gets a pimple because he's a college athlete who sweats every day and aaron shows him how to wash his face and moisturize and use pimple patches and all the other fun stuff that normal people who aren't blessed with godly genetics have to do.

kevin loves sitting on aaron. aaron will be trying to play a video game and kevin will just sit on him. aaron will be studying on the couch and kevin will lay on top of him. if aaron is sitting down kevin will try to sit on him. and aaron loves it. the foxes thought it was cute at first but now they kind of hate it because holy shit why do they love each other so much. "kevin get off of my brother right now, i dont want to see any gay shit jesus christ" "your boyfriend was literally spoon feeding you ice cream ten minutes ago, shut the fuck up"

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

The Umbrella Academy season 3 episode 2

Fucking damnit. I knew something was up with this hotel due to the episode descriptions, but now I know it has to do with fucking Reginald

Reading the news paper cause I think it will hold clues

Guests will never need to leave, eh?

Geeze, how has no one noticed how OLD this guy is! Newspaper said 1920! It's 2019! He should be LONG dead!

Oh Luther

Wait do they take LUTHER hostage?? That's so funny

Oh no. Shit fuck. Allisonnnnn

Oh Allison:(

I knew it was coming but that doesn't make it easier

Sissy died October 1st 1989? How... curious. There's no way that's a coincidence

Wait what

Why do these people seem like they are stuck in time? Doing the same thing day after day and have been for decades?

LMAO

Five is fine with a little murder between sibilings

Also I'm laughing over what Five is wearing he looks like a grampa

This is making my heart happy

Hi Viktor <3

HELL YEAH VIKTOR YOU TELL EM

Klaus ily

Why do the blasts keep killing animals

DIEGO!

Da fuck?

Oh Viktor :(

SIGH Lutherrrr

Buddy. You should be asking questions. You were kidnapped. Don't just EAT with them!!!

Oh my god

He just wants to be their friend, I'm laughing so hard

Luther, as is the theme for this family and kidnapping, they have not noticed

Didn't like that look exchange between Sloane and Ben

Also this Ben is a Dick and I want OG Ben back

Oh Allison :(

I love Viktor so much, he's a good brother. I dig his and Allison's dynamic very much

UHHH why isn't the briefcase working???

Awww. Five. You're adorable. You don't get to breathe yet.

HE JUST WANTS TO SEE TORIST ATTRACTIONS AND RELAX

My heart

"You're family, Viktor. Okay? And there's nothing... nothing that would make me love you less." My heart. If this turns out not to be true imma burn this place to the ground and build a therapist office on top

Im laying in a puddle of my emotions

No, Diego, you are not about to kick this guy's ass. His power is redirecting attacks onto his attacker. Also he's literally just shopping. Stop being so violent

Wait, is it specifically being hit in the face??? That's Hella specific if yes

Oh, is it specifically things that draw blood?

Poor stan

This is really funny

Klaus being amish makes me giggle a bit because, I mean, LOOK at him he's a freaking MESS

Five seems happier and calmer now that he's not dealing with constantly saving his sibilings' lives and I like that for him!

I dont trust any of this

I don't trust her. I think this is allll a trap to get information and keep Luther from being a threat

Hm. She's scared of whoever is on the other side of that Camera

Luther! You're getting more brain cells!

No babe, you can not get one day off

It's working it's way out further and further, and taking bigger and bigger animals it seems

Oh

*Oh*

That's why the number was only 16 this time. For some reason, 27 of the original 43 mothers died when exposed to the dust rather than give birth

"Five is an asshole, not a monster" five better not tell them that it doesn't matter or imma beat that old man

Oh. He has her eyes

Honestly props to this lady for being so willing to trust Klaus when by all rights she has no reason to. But he does have her sister's eyes

Now Five is invested

Oh Allison

Allison, leave old man Harlan alone

So they can follow you back to where yall are staying

There goes their briefcase

Well, either this is the wedding in episode 8, or this is Romeo and Juliet. Could be both!

[the-warmesthello]

bbc ghosts au :)

(actually not really an au, just saf characters as bbc ghosts characters)

curt: either allison or robin. i really like the idea of his dead friends supporting him (also ties into Gay Flashbacks from saf) but if he were a ghost he'd absolutely just fuck with everybody on purpose like that

owen: CAP. repressed, gay, obsessed with something that's been over for a while, tendency to be overly militaristic and a bit ruthless, but can be really sweet if he likes you, willing to help in a murder way

tati: fanny. can look scary and unapproachable, knows how to play the game in social settings, but if you get to know her she's an incredibly intelligent person who just needs someone to get her

barb: pat (also kitty+fanny). i typed this whole thing out and realised that kitty's personality mixed with fanny's intellect is just pat, scout master always willing to help, almost too nice, a little intense at times

cynthia: julian. besides the fact that the fandom has to collectively ignore their politics to like them, i just think it would be funny if she dies like he did, also government pieces of shit, the both of them /pos

informant: humphrey. really quite reasonable and level headed (pun intended), but conflicted about who they are at their core, not really around much but a real delight when you get the chance to see them

mama mega: mary. not entirely sure what's going on at any given moment, but no one really gets her either, often seen as a bit weird and jumping to conclusions based on superstition

mama mega (alt.): mike. but only if curt's the allison figure, obviously different relationship type, but even though she can't fully understand what he's going through, she's super supportive

bonuses:

dick big: julian or barclay beg-chetwynde

vanger borschtit: nigel the plague ghost

sergio: mike or thomas (borat voice my wiiife)

susan: humphrey's body (informant is humphrey's head)

dma: thomas, but specifically that scene in s1e2 where he chases allison trying to convince her to be with him and she's running away

edits bc i never post when im actually done with this:

i think curt would also be very mike if owen were allison. but i wanted him to be able to see the ghosts bc he would HATE it (like more than mike) if there was this whole other thing and he wasnt involved in it. thats getting me thinking on another au where someone (owen) can see ghosts but thats unrelated. point is curt is very mike personality wise but i would like to see him in more of an allison or robin role

[tooinlovewithfictionalpeople]

The Five times She met the Hargreeves- Five Hargreeves

Plot: Fives wife has been looking for him for ages, and she is not so happy about it, although she meets his fellow siblings along the way (Fluff and cuteness mainly)

Cammie was dangerous. In-fact she was well known for being the most ruthless assassin the commission has. Her abilities made her quick, her training made her agile, he mind made her strong. She never played by the rules. But if you saw under the fact she could kill you within the blink of an eye, she was a sweetheart. Her heart was made of gold, she was soft and kind the kind of girl thought to be made of honey and glass. 

However, not playing by the rules, lead the Handler to become fed up with the bright bubbly girl so she threw her to the end of the world with nothing to ‘harden’ her up. Unfortunately for the Handler that is how Camille Winters met Five Hargreeves and the two became inseparable - unstoppable - the perfect duo.

There were moments where Cammie was willing to murder Five Hargreeves, and that was the day he got the equations wrong.

                                                           ***

It was a cold Thursday night when Allison Hargreeves was talking with her friends about the revolution in the hair salon. It was like any other day.

Until  - with a loud crash, the door was thrust open. Everyone jumped to their feet, standing in a defensive position.

In the door frame stood a girl, who looked to be in her teens. Her face was unreadable as she spoke in a clear commanding voice.

“I’m Cammie. Man over the road called the cops on ya love. I’d disperse the mothers meeting”

Allison never got to thank her, she was gone as quick as she came.

                                                        ***

Klaus as never one for constant socialising, which is why he was sat in an empty coffee shop with Ben sat opposite him. He didn’t notice the girl in a waitress uniform stand next to him until she spoke.

“Im Cammie, you want anything else Mister?”

Klaus looked up, to see a teen girl staring back at him with an unreadable expression.

“Are you not a little young to be of the working class my dear?” he asked absentmindedly. Ben rolled his eyes.

The girl smiled. “Im way older then you would believe darling,” she turned to where Ben was sat, seemingly invisible to anyone but Klaus. “And what about you hot stuff?” she smirked.

Klaus lifted his head from his arms “You can see him?” he asked

“No one ever comes in here darling, I think I’d notice not one but two cuties when they walk in,”

Ben sent an awkward smile “No thank you.” he said.

Cammie sent a sweet smile before walking off. She was gone before they could say anything else. 

                                                         ***

Cammie was furious. And that was an understatement. Five had gone through the portal, taking her with him to get back to his family but somehow she was thrown away and separated from him thrown back into the 60′s where she tried desperately to find him. Then, when she awoke to the grimy alleyway she had been chucked into she realised that she was stuck in her teenage body.

She told Five. She told him the equations were wrong but did he listen? Nope.

And now she was stuck god knows where.

Now, Cammie like Five had extraordinary powers. Although there lines of what she could do were blurred she could see flashes of events that happened in the past, present and future. In other words, time was her bitch. But when she saw the flash of Five being threatened by the Handler her blood boiled.

The only issue with Five is that the little shit couldn't seem to stay in the right timeline so Cammie didn’t know when he would be experiencing what she thought he was going through.

Needless to say all thoughts of common sense went out the window when she saw the Handler pointing a gun at her teenage husband. So naturally she teleported to the commission.

When she arrived the Handler was sitting at her office with an unpleasant smirk on her face. In-front of her were two people whom Cammie did not recognise. The first was a man, with long Jesus style hair and tan skin. He had tan skin and wore a shocked expression. The other was a woman with shoulder length dark hair and wide brown eyes. The Handler did not seem even slightly surprised and Cammie’s sudden appearance.

“Cammie dear, to what do I owe the pleasure?” she asked smiling.

“Why the HELL is my husband?” She growled, eyes narrowing into slits. The Handler rolled her eyes.

“Ah yes. Don’t worry he’s a free man, still trying to stop what cannot be stopped..I must say you do look better at this age than you did two weeks ago”

Cammie rolled her eyes, looking at the two people next to her, who were staring in shock.

“I told him.” Cammie said angrily. “I told him the equations were wrong. But my husband thought he was right.”

Cammie picked up a Vase and threw it against the bookshelf so it shattered into a million pieces. “BECAUSE FIVE HARGREEVES NEVER FUCKING LISTENS”  

The Handler didn’t even blink, but the man in the chair with the Jesus hair spoke up “Hold on a minuet, Five Hargreeves is your husband? The bastard managed to get married??”

Cammie laughed. “And how would you know him?”

The man paused for a moment, “Im his brother, Deigo”

Cammie rolled her eyes, “Tell me, was he always a little shit?”

“Yes,”

The Handler stood up, picking up a gun and pointing it at Cammie who didn’t seem even slightly fazed at the fact her life was being threatened. By now it was a common occurrence. “What do you want Cammie?” she said

“Where. Is. My. Husband.” she seethed

Diego spoke up “Last I heard he was with a Man called Elliot, down an alleyway”

Cammie turned to face him “How come your’e more helpful in a second than Five has been his entire life?”

“Tell me, do you flirt with all the Haregreeve siblings?” The Handler sneered.

Cammie laughed “She’s just salty Five chose me and not her.”

The Handler raised her weapon firing multiple times but it was too late. In a flash of blue light Cammie was gone.

“Five got Married?”

                                                          ***

Five and Luther were having a nice little conversation about the poor dead Elliot in the chair when they saw a flash of blue light which seemed to be emitting a lot of crashing sounds and swearing coming from the balcony below them.

“Shit. Its the commission get down.” Five whispered to Luther who decided to do as he was told.

“How have they found us?”

Five sighed running his hands through his hair in frustration as he peeked behind the sofa. “I don’t know, but they are dangerous so be careful.”

“FIVE HARGREEVES I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU ARE HERE I AM GOING TO WRING YOUR NECK AND STAB YOUR EYES OUT WITH SPOONS”

“How many enemies do you have??” asked Luther eyes wide in shock.

However Five was staring at where the sound was coming from with a slight smile on his face. Luther was more shocked that Five was producing a genuine smile than anything else. 

“She’s not an enemy” he said standing up and walking to the stairs.

“FIVE GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR I AM GOING TO KILL YOU”

Luther looked at him incredulously “Well she sure sounds like it.”

When Five got to the stairs, he was relieved to see Cammie, standing hands on hips glaring at him with the angriest stare she could muster. He merely smiled back, finding it slightly amusing how angry she was. (And slightly scary but he would never admit that)

As soon as it clicked that Five was in fact okay, Cammie marched up the staircase yelling how much she was going to absolutely slaughter him, her speed not slowing down as she drew nearer

“Er - Five? Are you sure she is not the enemy because she looks -”

Luther watched as Cammie came nearer to his brother unsure of what to do until she ...kissed Five?

The girl had ran to Five and placed her hands firmly on the sides of his face pulling him down to kiss her. His arms wrapped around her waist pulling her closer. Her hands travelled to his hair, running her hands through it. 

Luther just stood there mouth open, trying to comprehend what was happening in front of him.

The kiss broke, leaving Cammie still on her toes, face buried in the crook of Fives neck as he had one arm still wrapped around her waist and the other stroking her hair.

“W h a t?” Luther finally managed to get out

The pair separated looking up at the bigger man, who was staring between the two blankly. first of all he was shocked that Cammie hadn’t tried to kill them, but also the fact that his annoying, self centred arsehole of a brother actually found love - and not to mention the fact he had never seen Five as happy as he looked right now.

“Cammie, this is my brother Luther, Luther this is my wife Cammie.”

“Im sorry you are married?”

Five rolled his eyes so Luther turned to Cammie.

“You actually like him?”

At this Cammie laughed, brushing hair out of Five’s face “Surprisingly I do - even if he never listens to me.”

Five turned to her “I do listen to you!” 

“Erm no you don’t. I told you the calculations were off but you didn’t listen to me”

Five open and closed his mouth but no words came out, so he turned to Luther.

“We carry on with the plan, but this time we have her. She is so much better.”

“I still can’t get over the fact that you are married,”

                                                      ***

Cammie was laid in bed. Her head was on Fives chest, her arms wrapped around him, her leg hooked up on his waist. He was snuggled into her, burying his face in her hair as she slept, his arms tightly wrapped around her

The Hargreeve siblings were stood around around them, each with their mouth open slightly in shock.

“Can anyone else not get over the fact Five is Married?” Luther asked

“To a reasonable person no doubt,” Allison continued.

“And a baddass. The commission adore and are terrified by her.” Diego added

“Ben and I would like to point out she clearly makes Five happy. That’s a yay right?”

“Vanya nodded her head. “He looks at peace for once.”

And he did. For the first time in years the siblings saw their grumpy, annoying, pessimistic brother smile, a real genuine smile.

“If you guys don’t stop staring he will kill you,”

[rzyraffek]

!!!!NEW HALLOWEEN MOVIE SPOILERS!!!!2022

Those are Just mostly my thoughts about characters, stuff they did and overall movie :)

Guys I was so annoyed by Allison??? Like she knew that this guy(I dont remeber his name i was calling him Corgy for the whole movie) was a murderer, he told her that!!! And she still was like 🥺meow ( imean tbh if some hot serial killer would date me i wouldnt snitch to police too) BUT LIKE ALLISON GRANMA WAS LIVING IN HELL FOR LAST 40YEARS AND SHE DARES TO SAY THAT THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS HER FAULT???? I get if she would fell in love with Corgy and her granma wasnt Laurie fucking Strode but like??? She saw what this years of sufferning did to Laurie and now shes Just dating serial killer?? The lack of brain AND empathy. Tbh I liked Corgy character for first 3/4 of movie because he was turned from cute meowmeow Dwight from dbd ass to 😈ur son calls me daddy too😈 and he litteraly befriended the big bad Miguel Myers. It all went downhill when he decided to betray his bestie (micheal) and kick drop him to floor :(

Also like why everyone in Haddonfield was blaming Laurie for Myers killing spree? Im geniuly curious, i felt like i forgot some important lore stuff, also why would anyone blame her? She was the victim, Myers was focused on her for all those years . Stupid stupid npcs🙄

Oh oo also the scene when Laurie stabs the shit out of bullies tires? Was is deserved and cool? Yea. Was is out of character? Also yea. Im not sure Laurie would aprove, i mean maybe after those years she kinda stoped caring about some random teens but Im not sure its very Laurie to do(also when she tried to act cool and made joke about tits i kinda😨🥶)

Also am I the only one that thought that while Corgy was choking Laurie, Micheal will Just spawn in door behind them(they were in hallway) and just stab the shit out of Corgy (desterved) OR when Corgy was fighting with Myers, Laurie will just shoot one of them (she has to choose which one)

My Character Rating:

Corgy:7/10 start was perfect then had emo phase, then commited few war crimes

Allison:3/10 you could do better bestie, at least you came back to your old as granma when you saw that shit is about to go down

Micheal:8/10 never fails to spook me at least once in every movie. Had cute zoom on eyes. Im giving him -1 because they show his ugly old rat bitten rotten face. And even tho im huge myers simp, he ugly in this film im glad he dead

Laurie Strode:10/10 my grandma queen, bonus 1point for reminding me of my granma, also she tried giving Corgy a chance and to forgive Myers for his evil phase. Of course she had her weird noments but overall very good final girl material

Those bullies that apeared like 4times in whole movie:1/10 they were homophobic, called Corie a nono word. Bullied him (deserved death)

Not me changing Corgy name in every sentence😭

[diegoshargrieves]

luther was most definitely an asshole in season one. undisputed. his actions were wrong, though they stemmed from a place of good intention. everything from locking his sister in a cage to his self obsession about the moon and constantly antagonizing his siblings because of childhood prejudices- it was all wrong and he should be held accountable for his mistakes.

however, even after season two released im still seeing a lot of luther hate around these parts, which is kind of ridiculous considering he went through extreme character development in the new episodes, and i think ive figured out why. y’all cant romanticize his trauma like you can with klaus, vanya, five, and all your other fan favorites. 

you pin someone who was groomed by his abuser from birth to view himself as, literally, number one, and stay loyal and devoted and, above all, obedient to him no matter what as an asshole and the worst of all the siblings. like allison didn’t rumour her fame and family and career into being? like vanya didn’t reveal her siblings’ trauma to the world in the form of her book, put it on a pedestal, even, to highlight her own abuse and neglect because it was a different brand from theirs? like five isn’t a literal trained assassin who had no problem with the idea of taking the lives of innocent people to prevent doomsday and, more importantly, mass murder? like diego wasn’t also bitter and angry and messed up due to his upbringing, like he didn’t take it out unfairly on other people and treat his siblings like shit on a whim? like klaus wasn’t an addict who was shown to have taken advantage of and leeched off of his siblings for food and for money for more drugs, like he wasn’t selfish to the point where he left eudora patch to die in the hotel without so much as a warning that there were not one but two trained assassins lurking around? (i have many thoughts about the idolization of klaus in the fandom but that’s a whole other post). like ben didn’t possess his brother’s body and tried to have sex with a girl he liked without explicit consent from klaus, like he wasn’t bitter himself at various points throughout the two seasons?

but of course, let’s just blame luther for everything that went wrong in the show because he’s the only one out of the seven who is capable of doing anything wrong ever.

what do you expect someone who was put into that circumstance to do? he obviously wasn’t aware of the trauma klaus and vanya went through surrounding the mausoleum, because it’s not like r*ginald went around with a megaphone announcing how he locked his kids away for days on end to ‘help’ them hone their powers. he was ignorant of the extent of the abuse his siblings faced because he was r*ginald’s favorite, and made to believe his whole purpose in life was the umbrella academy. that’s why after everyone left, he stayed. that’s why he felt like he was indebted to their father for saving his life (which is a whole other brand of fucked up when you think about it). that’s why he went to the moon without question- because he believed it was for a reason. 

and when all his trauma unravels at the end, when he finally finds out that his whole life was a lie and what he thought was his purpose in life really amounted to nothing more than a lonely childhood, an old domino mask, and thousands of reports stashed underneath the floorboard of his father’s study? he’s ridiculed even then, because he somehow deserved it and for some reason is less deserving of sympathy than the rest of his siblings.

well, i say for some reason, but the reason is because luther-antis can’t romanticize his trauma and the abuse he suffered. and they’re the same people who’ll automatically turn around and fawn over klaus, the uwu soft disaster gay baby who deserved better.

i’m not justifying his actions. they can’t be justified. but let’s not be hypocritical when it comes to how we analyze characters who are victims of abuse and dealing with trauma as a result of it, hm? 

[azogwhoreignerstilinski]

Watching S1 of Teen Wolf

Episode 6

DAAAAMN THAT CHASE SCENE IN THE PARKING LOT-

Scott here being a SMART protagonist and gtfo-ing as soon as he could. Him getting caught cuz of Allison tho- i laUGHED. Derek is also such a stereotypical older brother lol.

Also Derek's bunny teeth.

OOP HE SMASH DA PHONE!!

Lmao Scott is a fucking LIAR- HE CANT STOP THINKING WITH HIS DICK FOR A SECONDD

Yes, i skipped the sex scene. Music is good tho. Except for the loudest motherfucking kissing. Im dying. Make it endddd

Oh hey, scott is actually being made to participate with the wolfy stuff finally.

Also more Kate (sarcastic yay) srsly tho- her two facedness is *mwah chefs kiss

When Scott jumps out the window all i can think of is "how are these kids not being caught all the time?" Like hes just so LOUD.

And he also immediately proves me wrong because at the start he was smart and ran the second something sus happened, but then he just assumes this mysterious werewolf is Derek KNOWING THERES A MURDEROUS ALPHA ON THE LOOSE.

I was so happy to see Peter that i didnt mind that much tho.

This scene when scott gets home is hilarious because if you have your brightness all the way up, you can SEE Derek just sittin there. Also props to Derek for knowing about Scott sneaking out but not even caring about Allison lol. How long was he just sitting in this kids room tho??

Also Derek Hale is a shit liar and thats hilarious to me cuz hes out here sussing people out when they lie but when he does it its super obvious.

Scott: You cant ask me to trust you and then keep things to yourself

Derek: Watch me (leaves through the front door like a nooooob)

Awwww pouty stiles!

Stiles is just not able to resist info about Derek tho lol (careful dude, your bi is showing) honestly same

Also this entire ep is just Pack Mom Stiles energy

Lydia's face when she sees the wolf tho lmaooo. This girl is TRAUMATISED

Scott hides from Allison while Stiles has to sort out all his werewolf drama for him and i just-

All this scallison is just getting in the way of me enjoying the show and i feel so bad but omfg. Theres just so much

Jacksons face when he sees scott being pelted thoooo- what a relatable bitch. I was laughing too.

If only Stiles could put "raised a werewolf child" on his resume. Stiles and Derek are coparents, you cant change my mind.

Stiles calling out sexism about the whole "women make you weak thing" is just yeasss.🔥🔥🔥

And Jacksons whole mirror scene? Peak creeps, 10/10. Reminded me of Draco Malfoy. Him and Allison's heart to heart was kinda touching. But then you know, he pulled the creep out so-

Stiles' eyeroll to Scalliso in Coach Cupcake's class looool. K the hand holding was kinda cute ngl, good job scallison. Stiles is just done tho lol. He's so over it too and hes Scotts best friend😂😂

The car key scene has me cringing and giggling at the same time omfg.

Oh before i forget

OMG PETERRR Ohhh the IRONY IN THIS SCENE- and also poor bby Derek, all alone in this world. Peter lifting his finger as Derek leaves, RIGHT AFTER he says he cant wait lol. Peter is such a bastard tho lol cuz he coulda lifted his finger if he wanted, but he didnt pfft- guess he only has energy for killing people right now. Think its meant to add to the MysTerY. I think this is the cuddliest Peter has ever looked and i am here for it.

Derek: I can take him. But i need to find him first

Peter:... You can't kill me im a bad bitch

That detention scene, did they like fake the heart to heart to make the teacher uncomfy? Or was it meant to be genuine? Im going with the first one, because i think its better lol. But i think even if they faked it to get outta detention they both meant some of it.

DEREK NO HES A DOCTOR WTF ARE YOU DOING-

Also Derek says if hes unconcious he cant stop himself from healing? But he was just unconcious??? And Dr. Deaton didnt heal??? Also everytime Scott and Derek fight they're actually just like estranged brothers. Sam and Dean if they only met in Season 3 lol.

STILES' FACE EVERYTIME DEREK IS ON SCREEN-

Scott howling is so funny like howl no1 is yowling and howl no2 is roaring. Bitch really cant howl for shit- what is he??? Werewolf of werelion?? First he sounds like a kitten then he sounds like a lion.

(Me watching Stiles hype Scott up) Fellas, is it gay to know how to attract Alpha males?

Oh no Derek is 'dead'.

BUT PETER IS HERE!!!

Anyway, thanks for reading through the rambling, all of this is of course personal opinion and takes, but i might make this a whole thing.