#also (and this is very important)
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a big lesson for me was learning that most things are not as fragile as I’d believed. missing a class, or turning in a bad assignment, won’t instantly destroy your professor’s opinion of you. accidentally saying something harsh won’t make your friend want to end the friendship. it takes work to repair these things - it takes effort and research and sometimes a sincere apology - but you can do that because they’re not irreparably broken. what you’ve worked to build, in academia and in relationships and in life, is stronger and more enduring that your mind may teach you to believe. don’t let imagined fragility lead you to giving up
#in some rare cases someone will react dramatically to a small failure#it’s very very important to understand that that is about them#it is not about you#and environments that condition you to fear small missteps are neither healthy nor productive#but in most cases things are not so fragile#also this is a follow up to the credibility post#because your credibility will not break if you miss a day#it’s all stronger than you think#academia#study tips#studyblr#study inspo#study motivation#productivity#personal#text post
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does anyone have like an anti aesthetic. like something you look at and can recognize as a complete fashion/interior design/artistic movement and understand it but it makes you shudder seeing it. i am not talking like “its morally bad” “its poorly structured” like just sheerly devoid of joy for you actually invites a repulse response.
#also if it wasnt clear this isnt ‘its bad its lazy’ there is a level of like#completion consistancy i am thinking for with this#personally i really do not enjoy the like. vintage chic long red nails fur coats noir esque aesthetic HOWEVER 💥💥💥#i can recognize that it is put together it is Intentional#i feel like a lot of people are going to say minimalism on this so LET ME SAY 🫰☝️ i recognize that minimalism is Considered an aesthetic#but i *PERSONALLY* do not consider it an aesthetic i consider it the void of one#it is a lapse in aesthetic or personality in the same way a silence in a song is still technically a ‘beat’ but no music is played#however the importance of Space or Breath in design is more akin to a purposeful silence in music#because that silence matters in the same way rhythm and breath in design do#so i guess minimalism is more comparable to like. white noise. the sound of a fan#very little effort and there is a comfort in it i suppose but its not. A Design. okay#TO ME 🤫#if minimalism has one hater its me if minimalism has no haters im dead
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"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.
but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)
mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…
the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.
every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.
first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic
which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.
which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.
the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.
walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?
well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.
you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?
it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.
when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.
and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.
kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.
yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.
#dungeon meshi spoilers#mithrun#dungeon meshi#this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme#half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is#someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality#his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though#he says he tried to see the worst in them.#hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on#wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore.#but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once#snakes#long post#severe problems#meshy
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I will say I get the vibe that a lot of peoples interest and support for strikers is a bit too much for a vicarious ‘burn it down’ thrill, rather than for the actual goals of a strike.
Like UPS has agreed to come back to the table and it is very possible they will concede to Union demands and avert a strike. And if that happens (so long as the union does not make concessions on its key demands) it’s a good thing. It’s a victory for the laborers. It is the same ultimate conclusion that a strike would intend to produce except without the workers having to go on (not so great) strike pay for a week or two.
#I understand to an extent bc I think such a major strike would be very politically significant for the labor movement#But UPS submitting to union demands to avert a strike also accomplishes this. Maybe in a less visible way but all the same#Also on a personal note I would love to see UPS get absolutely fucked but again: strike goals are more important here
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reminding myself there are no truly "bad days", because every single day, someone somewhere in the world has taken a photo of an extremely tiny animal and shown it to someone else, and that's very good actually
#buny text#bless the people who take photos of incredibly small baby bunnies and post them on line. they are what keeps me going#when i was running the bunnieswithVGM twitter it was like. genuinely a healing experience getting to look at rabbit photos regularly#i highly recommend looking at pics of very small rabbits and thinking to yourself 'you tiny fucking thing. how do you exist'#it's very important and also fun. and then you can share those images with a friend#the tiny fucking animals on the internet are free and you can take them with you
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CONTROL YOURSELF
#the substance#my art#your body as consumption vs consumption as your body and so on#still thinking a lot about this film. boy does it manage to nail the angle of simmering self hatred#but the line ‘is it getting harder to remember you deserve to exist’ has stuck with me. its sad but its also very resonant#and its an important reminder. there is no dissociative self you’re hurting. there is only you#the substance 2024#demi moore#margaret qualley
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Narcissa: We decided that if, Merlin forbid, anything happens to us, we would like regulus to be Draco’s god parent
Regulus: That is great news! Draco! When something horrible happens, you’ll be all mine!
Lucius: It really is an ‘if’ situation-
Regulus, already holding Draco: All mine!
#uncle reg is very important to me#Draco is his favorite and he’s also Draco’s favorite#modern family#incorrect marauders quotes#marauders incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes#regulus black#regulus arcturus black#draco malfoy#draco lucius malfoy#lucius malfoy#narcissa black#narcissa malfoy
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All he knows is flirt with men and lie.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#su she#jin guangyao#Jin Guangyao smelt the 'no one appreciates me' wafting off this guy and said 'is anyone else going to manipulate that to their benefit?'#Su minshan fans...I get it. He's so deep into his role as a pawn he thinks he might have a chance of being someone bigger in this game.#He does play a key role but he's never actually out of anyone's shadow! That's brutal!#JGY's manipulation games are always so fun to see in action. His words are his weapon!#He's getting verbally kicked around only to have someone acknowledge his achievements! Just like how NMJ did for JGY.#He is a master of honeyed words and gentle appreciations. His instrument is *your* heartstrings.#He might see himself in Su She; They both feel under valued and hungry for more importance -#-but it's also a means for JGY to know how to pull his strings.#(IN THIS MOMENT. I very much realize he does come to care for him later on.)#It is also funny how much his powerplays involve sweet talking men. Where did he learn that from?#(Most likely the brothels he grew up in. It's a kick in the gut once you see that link!)
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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big fan of wild being the only one with scary blue eyes.
sir put those away.
(not necessary for enjoyment but heres the video im referencing)
#i both can and cannot apologize for this this was entirely self indulgent#linked universe#linkeduniverse#lu wild#lu four#lu legend#lu warriors#my art#its very important to note that the lineart getting worse is intentional but also the fact that i also was just getting lazy abt it
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Memories that aren't yours (thinking about the. scar multiverse...)
definitelynottober- day 14 in the webs we weave inspired by this post 💥💥💥💥💥
#definitelynottober#definitelynottober2024#my art#goodtimeswithscar#hermitcraft#hermitcraft season 10#but also#trafficblr#traffic smp#life series#i am feeling art blockage tho still not happy with this ARHGRHJGR RIP#very important disclaimer. scars painting skills are 100% not accurately presented he is way better than me /SILLY
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Did you think I was done? Ahahahaha no, I have more.
Because chapter 70 of MOMU gave me the very dynamic between them that I missed so much, I just blacked out and started drawing uncontrollably lmao
Also. ALSO. I noticed a while ago that Prowl has the habit of..like…constantly frowning. So. I did a bit of research and made this graph.
In 70 chapters, Prowl frowns rougly 104 times. And the intensity of this gesture is very clearly correlated with the development of his relationship with Jazz, as you can see ahahahahah It might be wrong tho don’t take me seriously I’m not good with graphs
#maccadam#transformers#prowl#jazz#jazzprowl#fic fanart#momu fanart#I just#mmmmm#For the whole fic Prowl had to think twice about everything Jazz says#every information could end up being wrong#sometimes even without Jazz realising it#so when Prowl says#he’s trusting Jazz. it’s.#also it totally wasn’t me googling ‘believing and trusting nuance difference in english’#the moment I realised the difference I think my brain started rollercoaster loops#he can’t believe him but he found enough faith to trust him#while. YES. For the whole story Jazz couldn’t fucking be believed#list e n#Jazz did a lot of things for Prowl#fucktons of big and small gestures to show that yes he likes loves and appreciates Prowl#I’m so happy Prowl is returning this energy#like#remember that scene a while back when Jazz kissed Prowl? Cool cool okay. Did Prowl kiss him? nope. It was one sided gestures#*gesture. That kiss didn’t make me feel like it’s truly something precious because Jazz started it but Prowl didn’t do quite the same#but this👆. This feels so much more important for me. Because Prowl#who is for the whole story was mister I calculate every chance of possible betrayal. Prowl whos entire personality is to trust nobody#Prowl goes. Fuck that I trust you. You feel me?#it wouldn’t be the same if he said I love you. Because love is very much something you don’t have a lot of control over.#but to trust someone? It’s a choice Prowl had to consciously make. You see what I mean? I love it. oh fuck I ran out of tags..
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He cares very much about his elemental just look at this man
He raised this bubble monster since it was a baby and worries about her getting mixed with other water things... Dad behaviour...
It's like he asks her to come out to fight.
He can't ask her that, he alredy sent her to battle. Is it either them or the quimera and he knows it damn well, that's why he looks at Marcille with something close to pity. He can't ask the undine to stop. He needs, they all need, the monster to be dead.
And then his baby droplet gets obliterated by this monster. He's not recovering up emotionally from this anytime soon. He freezes a few seconds in absolute shock.
"I even find it cute now". His baby is dead. It's gotta be something akin to adopt a stray cat since baby and then he gets run over. He starts tearing up. Look at this man's poor face, he's destroyed.
Here he's mourning the loss of his undine possibly, all sad faced. He is, at the end, the only one that lost someone there (many died but revived, and Falin doesnt count because she's alive). Either that or he managed to, somehow, save a bit of her and put it on the bottle and it's feeling sorry for his elemental or saying sorry.
#i love holm#hes just a side character#and does little to nothing#but the little things he do are very mich important#he sacrifices his undine#he revives half of the party#he is one of the most powerfull characters#i think#his undine is nothing to laugh at#he has the earth elemental too#and a wind one#and the undine alone is powerfull af#also#he's fuking handsome#for no reason at all#and also hamster-coded#i love him so much#dungeon meshi#holm#holm kranom#holm dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi spoilers#my shit
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Not too late to participate in a twitter trend for once 👍
#lesbian v2 is a very important hc to me i love her sm :)#ultrakill#mv2#v2 ultrakill#mirage ultrakill#september 2024#also no signature bc i forced myself to do this fast and be ok with it not being polished. fighting for my life against art block rn
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OK correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like the main 'yin/yang' parallel with Atsushi and Akutagawa is not something like 'this one is bad but secretly has a good side and this one is good but secretly has a bad side'.
I feel like it's more about 'who they are at their core vs who they choose to be'.
At his core Akutagawa is kind and at his core Atsushi is not. But despite this Atsushi tries every day to make the kinder choices and I love him so much for it. He has to work so hard to be good.
He wants to be a bitch SO bad I know he does but he tries his best to help people and be nice (sometimes he fails but that's OK <3)
Atsushi doesn't always WANT to help people, a lot of the time he's selfish and scared, but he does help people anyway. He keeps helping people over and over again. There's still some selfish motivation to it, and his initial motivation for helping people was because the headmaster told him that's all he was worth, but overall he does care about the people he helps and it weighs on him if he fails to save them. And of course, as the series goes on he starts helping people more because he can rather than because he feels like he needs to.
In Akutagawa's case, he's still capable of being kind but his environment led him into being someone who chooses to hurt people. But he's always been a protector at heart. In the start he was bad compared to Atsushi because he was choosing to hurt people and keep the cycle of abuse going. Just like how Atsushi developed in why he saved people, Akutagawa starts to get redeemed when he chooses to not just act on his rage. Not only does he start to spare people, but he speaks more kindly to them (apologising to Higuchi and telling Kyouka he's proud of her). It all culminates into the moment he chooses to help Atsushi and sacrifice himself for him, going back to his core value of being a protector. Even when he's finally revived, he keeps this role in his new position as Aya's Knight.
I kind of see the streaks of white in Akutagawa and the streaks of black in Atsushi not as their 'hidden sides' but as their fundamental selfs. That's who they are at their core, and their main colours (black for Akutagawa and white for Atsushi) are how they're presented to everyone else and how they try to have people see them as.
#I'm just spitballing half of this but these are also my genuine thoughts on these two and their yin/yang parallels#I'll never get over Akutagawa being a protector at heart and getting that side of him buried with rage from growing up in the PM and-#-Dazai's old teachings#also Atsushi being selfish at his core is very important to me. He's not a typical 'kind hearted' shonen protagonist. He's kind not because#-that's how he’s always been but because that's how he chooses to be#I think that kind of character is even more admirable to me#it also fits well with Dazai being his mentor. Since Dazai also doesn't have that initial desire to save people just out of kindness.#He saves people as a promise to his dead friend that wanted him to live a good life#in fact that actually fits with Jouno too#now that I think about it quite a few bsd characters fit into that 'not kind because they were born that way but because they chose to be'-#-archetype#hell yeah. That's kinda cool I like that#bsd analysis#Akutagawa#atsushi#akutagawa ryuunosuke#atsushi nakajima#sskk#shin soukoku#<- Not a ship post but adding this tag since I consider that their duo name too#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bungobble my post
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"he asked me to prom, did you know that?" "CAN WE GO TO THE FARM MOM?!" riz gukgak absolute dorkass loser you are so special to me. same exact energy as the bad kids going over to gorgug's for the first time and digby and wilma's "we have pictures!"
#riz being fundamentally a dorky teenager boy is so important#like. yes he's a secret agent yes he's a dope ass rogue yes yes yes#he's very talented and incredibly smart and important#but ALSO. briefcase kid.#fantasy high#d20#dimension 20#fhjy
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