#im a little late but if you have already dont this please ignore

[tortademaracuya]

...

[katiascraft]

𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋ "Maybe i should've told you i miss you. But i don't know if you feel the same" | OP81 ✧₊⁺

parings: oscar piastri x singer!reader

summary: your insecurities lead to lose the love of your life, but destiny always play its worst (or best) cards for you. in the aftermath of it all, two souls become one (again). or that's what you'd like.

inspired by: gracie abrams music ⤦

⟢ ‘almost said I miss you’ EP: tracklist

➥ track 1 - mean it

➥ track 2 - stay

➥ track 3- I miss you, I’m sorry

word count: 6k.

warnings: angst. and a little fluff. mentions of insecurieties, trauma and depression. not a native english speaker so there could be (so many) erros. not proofread.

MASTERLIST

「 ✦ The ticking clock ✦ 」

You took a deep breath. Your hands were shaking and your stress levels were at their peak.

“You are always picking fights, y/n. I'm tired, "Oscar said, clearly annoyed. Is not that you always fought or had a toxic relationship, no. but lately, things got harder between you two. Stupid fights now and then. Dead silence that creeps you out everytime. Coldness was the new dynamic you had going on. And it hurts.

Everyday hurts lately.

“Oscar, I'm not always picking fights. For fucks sake, just wanted to know why you are so cold all the time to me!” you didn't want to raise your tone but desperation never took the best out of you. He was shocked, his head disapproving. Probably done with all of this. Done with you. You didn't want to admit it but maybe it was true. 

“I'm not being cold to you, y/n. I already explained it to you: I'm tired. My job it's complicated enough to come home to be even more complicated. Just stop” he said leaving the kitchen, leaving you behind hanging in your words. That made you so you followed him down to the living room. 

“Oscar, don't leave me talking alone, please! Why do you always have to run away? I have feelings actually you know? I would love to express them to my lover so we can have a proper conversation, what do you think about that?”

“y/n, bullshit. Don't act like I'm a monster who doesn't listen to you. If i didnt we wouldn't have this argument. Stop playing the victim for once. You don't hear me out either anyway” he gritted his teeth trying not to follow you down with your anger. He didn't want to raise his voice towards you. 

“Playing victim? You're an impossible oscar. I only asked you a fucking question, what did i do wrong for you to ignore me and act so cold? And you said you're just tired and that's bullshit” you were so angry by now. Offended. Hurt by his words. Hurt by the fact you were happy once and now everything is falling apart. You never hurt this deep before. 

“It's not!” he couldn't anymore with all of this. He didn't want to raise his voice but you made him feel exasperated. “You see? You don't trust me! Im telling you im just tired and you say its bullshit and then you play the victim card that i dont listen to you and im a fucking monster? I see how things go now. I'm done” he didn't even want to look at you. He just sat on the sofa looking at the floor. But you heard what he said under his breath. What you were most scared of what’s happening. 

You started crying out of desperation, anxious that all of this was gonna end right there and then. You just left him there and went back to the kitchen as if that way he wouldn't see nor hear you crying. You just couldn't keep talking or being around him. Your heart was sinking.

He sighed frustrated and stood up sprinting to his studio and banging the door. You gasped hearing the door closing so violently. No that he noticed what he said. Nor that he cared you thought he didnt care you anymore, that was for sure. 

(...)

You haven't talked to Oscar since yesterday. He didn't sleep at your shared apartment. He said he didn't want to see you. That hurt a lot. Your heart was already broken. You didn't know what to do anymore. You've been on this rabbit hole for several months. You didn't understand what broke between you or when it was. You felt confused, lonely and scared. What would your whole life be without him? Once, you only wrote love songs because what you felt for him was beyond what your body could handle so you needed to take it out. Now, you didn't write anything for months. You felt too much sadness, it felt like you didn't feel anything at all. Just emptiness. 

You were playing with your food, not really that hungry that you thought you would be. Another night alone without him. Would life be like this when he gets rid of me? I don't wanna leave. 

The doorbell rang. You frowned, not sure who it could be knowing it was almost 10pm and I couldn't sleep (just as yesterday and every time you had an argument with him). You looked through the little visor of the door seeing your boyfriend was back home. But telling from the look on his face, things wouldn't be better anyway. You opened the door after taking a deep breath not sure if you would survive another fight. 

You two just looked at each other for a few seconds. Probably analyzing how you were feeling now that 2 days have passed by. Neither of you smiled. Not that you had the energy or a reason to anymore. You moved from the door so he could get into the apartment and closed the door once he was in. 

“Did I wake you up?” he asked quietly. You swallowed hard not knowing what to say by this point.

“I can't sleep since you are gone, so. No, you didn't” you didn't want to sound cold, especially after you fought because he was acting like that with you,but you felt like shit and didnt have energy to pretend you were okay with it all. You felt miserable. He nodded without saying a word and looked at the floor for a moment. 

After a moment of really uncomfortable silence you broke it with something you didn't even think would slip out your mouth “are you seeing someone else, oscar?” your words cut through him as if they were sharp glass pieces just thrown directly at him. 

“What?” He was surprised and hurt that you thought about him like that. You shrug.

“I mean, it's not that you don't kiss me anymore, so.and i think you're not tired because of your job, i think you're just bored of me, tired of me, done with me” you sat on the kitchen table again. He followed you there but stayed standard. He was confused and hurt now. 

“When did I ever say that to you?” he was tired of all of this, for sure. But he wanted to make things work with you. He just didn't know how to.  It was hard for him to understand you, but he was trying. He finally sat in front of you staring at your plate. It was full, you kept playing with your doodles, pretending to eat like you used to. He felt so guilty for all of this. He knew at that moment. That he broke you. He didn't know how or when but he did. His face softened in sadness.

“You said it. You said you were done and you know what? I get it. I mean, it's not as if I am easy to love. I know I'm complicated and a pain in the ass for everyone so I wouldn't be surprised if you found someone else that makes you happy for real and you don't wanna tell me out of pity. I'm ready to hear it though. Just say it” your voice was empty and plain no emotion detected just numbness. He didn't want to think it was too late. It Has been a long time since he has seen you like this. At that time it wasn't him who made you feel like it. 

“I didn't mean to say it, y/N. I Was tired because of work and fighting with you. I don't like fighting with you. I wanna make things right, please. I wouldn't ever do that to you, you know it” he explained desperate for a moment. He wanted you to believe him. But your face didn't say anything. He couldn't read you and made him scared. You looked unbothered, way far gone now.  

You shook your head “i know you mean it and i know you are tired, but i don't think you really want to be with me anymore” your sincerity cut like a knife in both of you. Like, you over thought a lot about it but it still hurt. He was lost and didn't know what was going on anymore or was going through all of that. “You didn't deny it either” you continued.

“I'm not with anyone else, y/N, please” he cut you off with his deep voice, kind of cracky now. 

(...) 

You just didn't know how you ended up moaning his name once more. His mouth is in your centre. His hands are grabbing your tights. Your fingers on his hair.

How easy is it, right? To love someone. One moment, you destroy them.. Then, you fix them with makeup sex. Making them see the stars so they forget how shitty things are. So that pleasure it's more important than gentle affection. Always pretending to be sane then doing insane shit like this as if memory didn't exist when it came to you and him. As if feeling him inside you was the only thing that could fix your mind. That it was the only way to communicate properly. As if it was your love language, then ignore each other. 

His hands of your body grabbing you as if you were about to break and he was trying to keep all of your pieces together. As if he could save you or your relationship that was already 10 feet down buried. He would like to think sex could fix it. That it was the best way to communicate if then you didn't trust him. He was hurt and you didn't trust him. You were hurt because he didn't love you anymore. Unfortunately, your minds couldn't agree. You were the love of his life, he wanted to help and make you trust him. But you just didn't, you already convinced yourself he didn't love you anymore and that everyone was better than you. He wanted a team when you just wanted to run away from him. Or from yourself?

「 ✦ Destruction ✦ 」

“I'm done with you for real, y/n! Everytime an important day comes for me, you just like to ruin it!” He was mad as hell. Fed up with all your bullshit. 

“You really think I do it on purpose? oscar! “ He left the room so you started following him around your shared apartment. “I wouldn't if you didn't ignore like you always do! I don't know what to do anymore! Nothing seems enough for you!” you started crying out. Your heart couldn't take it anymore and this time it felt different. So much different than any time before.

“Why is it always my fault? Why am I always the one doing something wrong? The only thing you do is complain about me and then you just want me to kiss you?! You are insane!” His words cut you deep, so deep you thought they cut you in half and you were nothing anymore. You couldn't breathe for a moment. He called you insane just the way your parents made you feel your whole life. Maybe they were right after all. You deserved all of those years in a psychiatric hospital. You deserved even when he

 was the first one to say your parents were monsters and you were more than okay. More than normal. More than lovable. How ironic, right?You wanted to laugh but couldn't. You just couldn't move. 

Oscar realised what he said. He knew when he saw you. He felt terrible at that moment.

“Look, y/n i-” you cut him not wanting to listen to him anymore. 

“Dont talk” you said shaky under your breath. You had to sit down on the sofa because you felt you were about to faint. In shock - a lot of moments of your relationship replayed in your head. How could someone who said he loved you more than anything and anyone, end up thinking just as your parents? It was your fault. Of course it was. How could you ever think someone would love you? You were miserable. How can someone love a miserable person? 

Oscar started breathing heavily and he had to sit on the floor trying to calm down. He is always so collected and rational, these kinds of feelings he had never experienced, not even with his ex. 

“We can't be together Oscar, I make you miserable. And you're right. I'm insane, how could someone love me right? No one wants to deal with my bullshit, not even myself” you said quietly. His throat closed for a moment. He remained in silence for a few seconds processing your words. You didn't look at each other, you couldn't. Guess this was it. How sad, right? Oscar started crying realizing what was about to come.

“I promise y/N, I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it that way. You aren't hard to love, actually the opposite. But yeah, i don't think this is working for us anymore whether i like it or not” he said wiping his tears away of his face as he could. 

You nodded even though you didn't hear a word he said. It was over. Your life is over.

「 ✦ time heals it all, right? ✦ 」

It's been exactly 8 months and 25 days since you and Oscar were not together anymore. Yes, you had a countdown. You created it to see how far you’ll survive because you didn't believe you would last this much. You thought your life was over and for a few weeks it was. You didn't get out of bed. The break up depression, i guess. Your friends suggested you go back to therapy because they were really worried about you and your mental health. They knew how much Oscar meant to you: he was your everything. And to be honest, that was your first mistake going into the relationship with him. 

You shouldn't have made him your everything because you were nothing suddenly when you left. You didn't know who you were without him, what you liked or what you would like to be. All of your future plans had him in them. There wasn't a future without him. He was everywhere in your life. You shaped your destiny around him. You wanted to get married and have kids with him. And you never wanted to be a mother but he had changed that until he was gone. 

You couldn't go back to dating. You tried but failed every time. You were a little too afraid to get hurt again. You had to work through your insecurities and traumas first. There was a lot of your history that needed to be let go. You needed to go through really ugly times in your past to find some perspective. Forgive yourself, putting yourself first, understanding yourself. You just worked on knowing you and becoming the person you always wanted. 

And you grew and changed so much. You felt proud of yourself. You started writing again. Creating was the best way to mourn your relationship with Oscar alongside your old self that left him. To mourn that part of you that is gone forever. Creating was what kept you sane all this time. What brought you back to life. You wrote so many songs about him. Blaming you, blaming him. Blaming the universe for not putting it easier on you. 

So music, once again, saved your life. 

Oscar’s life changed drastically. Not only by the fact he didn't have you anymore on the paddock to cheer him on, but also he didn't have you in his apartment to share his life with. He missed you everyday he woke up to an empty bed. Mourning what you had changed him forever. He blamed himself for not knowing how to get to you, how to understand you and be able to help you through it. So he started reading about psychology to learn how to understand people better. He wanted to improve his emotional intelligence. He knew that maybe you wouldn't be there anymore, probably forever, but at least he could be better to the people around him. 

He didn't date anyone. His way of mourning was trying not to think about it occupying his space and time with work and training and racing and reading. He couldn't do anything else.  

He always found himself not being able to think, wondering where you were and especially how you were. After that night, you went to cero contact. And he knew it was the best, but he couldn't get you out of his head yet. He felt guilty knowing that he can understand your needs better when it's a little too late. He just wished to press rewind and do it again but the right way this time. He knew it was impossible and that dug a hole in his heart. He knew that it would be there forever. You were the love of his life. He really thought he couldn't love anyone that way, ever again. You were a force of nature for him. Blowing him away every single time. 

You never went back to races. He knew how much you adored the sport and how in another life you would have loved to be an engineer. You dreamed of one day to see a woman on the podium. You actually sponsored two girls from F1 Academy. The boys didn't see you again either. Actually he knew you did see lando a few times because you two became really close during your relationship, but lando always lied and told him that he didn't see you. He knew Lando was trying to be a good friend. He even tried to introduce Oscar to some girls but it never worked. He tried though. But he found himself thinking that he was kissing it was you. It was heartbreaking to see. He was kind of stuck on you. 

So he decided he would take his time to grow and figure out who he was by himself. Find comfort in his own company. Doing dates  by himself. He found it cringe to call it that way but his therapist insisted on calling it that way so he could deprogram himself from you and anything and everything related to you. 

He was proud of himself though. He was doing alright again, actually enjoying his job, his friends, and his own company. He even won races, he did podiums and everything he dreamed of. But still, he hoped you didn't feel like you needed to leave to let him shine. He wished you were there every time to hug you and shower you in  champagne. 

He really missed you in his life.

「 ✦ Too far gone, don’t know where we started ✦ 」

So here you were more than a year later at the Azerbaijan GP 2024. The Mercedes team invited you as a star guest so you came with your friend because alone you would have died. Actually, before coming to the paddock you had an anxiety attack and if it wasn't for your friend who made sure you felt safe and okay to go, you would’ve been on a plane back home. It was the first time since you broke up with Oscar you felt okay enough to be able to go through it. You were invited by different teams at least 15 times now. But you always lied and said you couldn't make it. You just needed to stay at home or the studio writing as far as possible from oscar and anything related to him. But you went through all of that with your therapist and she said that if you liked the sport and you really enjoyed races or anything related to it, you shouldn't let Oscar or the thought of him or what happened, deprive you of it. 

It was sunday, you preferred not to come on friday or saturday just because there were more possibilities you would bump into him. And you just weren't ready to see him. The race was insane so far. Actually, Oscar was doing more than okay. Your heart was pounding, you could hear it loud and clear. Your best friend held your hand all the time in that garage so you don't forget she’s there for you. And that you’re okay.  You knew you shouldn't be afraid of him because he was an angel. But you were scared of yourself and how would you handle that situation. You came to terms that actually, everything that happened between him and you, it was that your insecurities just made everything so toxic that he couldn't handle it all. It didn't feel good when you realised that but it is what it is. You didn't know better and forgiving yourself for that was the hardest part of the process. 

You squeezed your best friend's hand, it was the last lap. Your heart is almost out of your body. You are wearing an old Oscar hoodie. You really liked it, plus you came here looking like shit in your opinion. You didn't even brush your hair nor that you needed it like before, now your hair is super short. Everyone in the garage was watching closely and before you could actually process what you ‘ve just seen. Your friends shouted “omg” in unison not believing what they saw.

Destiny had its twisted ways to be honest. Osca won the race. he won. You were just shocked. 

You were here and he won, like, what are the chances of that to happen actually? First race you’re back and he wins. and in that way. Your friends hugged you. 

“Holy shit that 's really insane shit” Nikola said, watching the screens at the garage. 

“We need to go guys, i don't wanna see him, please” you didn't know why you started to panic like that. Sonny looked at Nikola and just got you out of there. 

At the Mercedes hospitality you felt safe while the celebrations were held. There was no reason or chance Oscar walked into the Mercedes building, right?  You were drinking some coffee with you girls trying to focus on the conversation about any other driver but Oscar, just around strategy and stuff. You were trying really hard but you couldn't stop thinking about the fact that maybe he could come into you any time. Now that you see destiny hates you. 

“y/N, you okay bestie?”Sonny tried to get you out of your drawing though by touching your arm so she could catch your attention back to reality. 

“Oh yeah, I was just thinking,” you said, adjusting yourself on the chair. Nikola looked worried. 

“y/n, we can go if you need to. We don't want you to feel uncomfortable, okay? Just tell us” she said, comprehensively describing the situation and her friend's feelings. You licked your dry lips.

Before you could answer her someone interrupted you. 

“y/, is it you?” that. Fucking. Voice. Your friends’ eyes widen as surprised as you were. You turned to the voice to find, in fact, your ex boyfriend watching you so confused. You were speechless for a moment. He looked so pretty and sweaty. His eyes are shining brighter than ever you have seen. 

“Oh, hi oscar. Yeah, it’s me” you tried to play it cool but to be fair, you felt the butterflies on your stomach just like the first time you met him at that  birthday party you didn't want to go to. But luckilyyou did. Destiny is always playing dirty for you. Or geniously. You didn't know anymore. He smiled widely.

“Oh, wow, hi, yeah. I didn't know you were coming” he said nervously. Your friends looked at each other noticing. 

“I was invited by George, actually. I almost didn't come tho. How crazy, you win right? You did an amazing race. "You were surprised that you could even have a proper conversation with him while your heart was hurting out of anxiety, nervousness and butterflies were everywhere. 

Oscar Felt his chest tighter. His stomach was happy to see you, he knew. “Thank you,” he said sweetly. You looked so pretty under the light of the Mercedes building. You were his hoodie, your favorite, but he didn't know if it was appropriate to mention it. Your hair was so short and looked so beautiful on you. It actually made you look prettier. Your face was the face of an angel, he always thought that. But with that haircut it only intensified your perfection. He felt stupid. Just like the first time he saw you at that party he wasn't even invited directly. Destiny always played on his favour with you, until that night. He didn't even want to remember it. You looked so different yet you felt the same. Your perfume was the same, he knew. It’s the one he gifted you on your 6 month anniversary. You used to celebrate each month. 

An awkward silence makes its presence between you two, not knowing what else to say or comment. 

“Congrats oscar on the win” sonny tried to save you from misery right there capturing oscar’s attention. He smiled gently, thanking her and nikola. He recognized them and gave them a hug. He seemed happy to see them. You smiled remembering your nights playing uno and drinking wine and baking canela rolls when winter break came around. You Missed him more than you’ve ever thought you would. And something inside you just felt exactly the same you always felt with him. He altered the chemistry in your brain so easily it was kind of scary. 

“Hey osc! Zac wants to talk to you! What are you doing here?” Lando Norris came into the building as well. He was your friend. when he saw who Oscar was, he grinned. “Hey, bestie, whatchu doing here?” he said happily, giving you a comforting hug. He was genuinely surprised because you didn't even tell you. He suspected Oscar was here because George told him you were here. He can't keep secrets. And he knew it was George because he was sure Lewis didn't even know you. 

“George invited us,” you explained after he stepped back.

“Okay let's go, great to see you girl. Hope to see you around more often "Oscar said while looking directly at you in the last sentence to then disappear dragging Lando out of the hospitality. Your friends looked at you and you looked at them.

“I need a whole vodka bottle down my throat right now” you sentence, making them laugh. But you didn't. You felt scared of what you felt a few moments ago. 

(...)

New year is here. You were invited along with your friends by lando to his beginning of the year party here in Monaco. And oh you knew Oscar was gonna be there. Of course, he is one of his closest friends also.

This time you felt more calm and collected around the fact you were going to see him again. I think being drunk was the thing you were thanked for. If something felt rare,you would drink straight vodka or tequila and the problem was solved. You didn’t even have to think about it. 

Your friend helped choose the sexiest dress for you. It was a satin white little dress with broderie endings. Pretty subtle but at the same time suggesting. Just how you were. Angel face, dirty minded. Problem was you couldn't date people because of the Oscars. Because since you saw him those seconds in Azerbaijan, you couldn't stop seeing his shiny eyes and beautiful smile every time you close your eyes. You didn't interact all of this time, you didn't even follow each other on social media. 

Mystery drove you I guess. And who could blame you? It was Oscar Piastri, the one you had to forget. But I just couldn't. You missed his touch, his breath, his voice, his lips. 

Your friend took you out of your thoughts telling you they needed to go to the bathroom. You Followed them around the party up to the toilets. They got in but you decided to wait outside because the music was just so good you wanted to enjoy it. You always wished you could write a party song but it isn't your thing at all. Nor you didn't have the personality for it. You were too deep of a person. You needed to cut deep. Be someone to suffer along with. Or at least that’s how you perceive yourself as an artist. 

“y/N?” not that voice again. That damn voice. Though this time you were waiting for it. You looked up to find a drunk Oscar in front of you. You were breathless for a moment. How can a man become so much hotter in just a year? You smiled at him feeling your strawberry lip gloss. 

“Hoy, osc. What’s up?” you said easily. The alcohol made it easier actually. When he smiled you almost died. You Adored his smile since that party you didn't even want to go to. You thought you fell in love with him just right there. Just right here…?

“I was looking for Danny, have you seen him?” he said normally, ignoring his heart, almost skipping a beat when he saw you in that short white dress. He hoped not to be drooling in your face. Since he saw you again, he couldn't get you out of his head. You were everyday hunting him. He wanted to text you but he wasn't sure if he should. You seem so happy now, he didn't want to ruin it. He convinced himself that probably the best for you was staying away from him as much as possible. At the end of the day, he was the reason you hurt, right? Or he wanted to believe that. 

For a moment you watched his lips talking to you. His drunk voice always turned you on. But you couldn't show it. Not anymore. You looked back at his eyes. Half smile on your face while shaking your head “no, i didn't. Iwas waiting for my friends that are in the bathroom” you explained and he nodded. 

“Well, I'll keep looking then. See you around” he told you to go back into the crowd to look for his friends. Hesaw the way you looked at his lips. He had to be the stronger one. It was better this way. As much as he wanted to eat you out right there and then.

He hurt you. He didn't understand you. He didn't deserve you. He made sure to protect you from himself. Even though all he wanted was to be with you.

「 ✦ the (your) truth is out ✦ 」

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liked by sabrinacarpenter, user456, landonorris and 1,543,678 others

yourusername: i'm so excited to finally tell you our biggest secret! my new ep 'almost said i miss you' will be out february 14 <3 (trying to resignificate the date lol) these songs are really important to me and i can't wait till they finally become yours. thank u to the bestest bestie in the worl for guiding me and helping me through it all, it wouldn't have been possible without you. and you guys for the support, you don't know how much you mean to me :,) thank you for listening to my music since day one. i feel so lucky! see you in a few weeks :D

tagged: sabrinacarpenter, y/nhq

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sabrinacarpenter: so proud of you baby, my fav artist forever. just keep smiling! it's so beautiful to see you happy <3

nikolabff: we are so proud of you gorgeous! the prettiest songs I’ve ever heard 🥹

sonnybff: girl you always serve, thank you for sharing your art to the world I admire you like crazy. So proud of you baby, I love you <3

user489: 'trying to resignificate the date' WHY AM I SOBBING AT WORK

User99: THE TRACKLIST 😭😭😭😭😭

↳ user87: “I miss you, I’m sorry” I CHOKED

user45: it hurt

user12: so excited

landonorris: can`t wait for the world to cry their eyes out just like i did when i heard them :( (it still hurt and I cry before falling asleep)

↳ nikolabff: bro same 😭😭😭

↳ maxverstappen: babygirl

↳ landonorris: get outta here 😡

georgerussel: I know who will cry listening to this

↳ danielricciardo: @/oscarpiastri

↳ landonorris: @/oscarpiastri

↳ sonnybff: guys knock it the fuck off

hattiepiastri: so prod of you girl! Can’t wait to listen to it!

↳ user67: NOT HIS SISTER OMG

↳ user08: I don’t wanna be delusional but girl you

don’t help

↳ user134: they NEED to get back together I don’t

wanna suffer anymore I know Hattie

wants it too 😭

user1: I’m not alright knowing these are for oscar tbh IM DEAD and I haven’t even listened to them yet

taylorswift: and artist of the year goes to…

olivirodrigo: my day to day inspiration

user975: I love girls supporting girls

user56: @/f1gossipofficial is there something about this you’d like to share????

「 ✦ The aftermath - february 14 ✦ 」

Oscar was back to the UK training for the beginning of the new season. It was the coldest winter he experienced. He got back home from mclaren hq. He took a hot shower to warm himself. His apartment was silent. It felt empty for the first time. Like something was missing. He went straight into bed. He wasn't that hungry anyway, but he was tired indeed. 

“Hey, listen to it. I think you need to” 

He saw his sister Hattie's notification pop up on his screen confusing him abit. He went into the messages app and opened his sister’s. When he did he understood what she was talking about. A knot on this throat formed. It was y/n ep. Guess he now understood taylor swift’s exes. It’s hard to date a musician ust because of the aftermath of the relationship. 

“Just do it. You will understand why once you did” 

Another message popped up on this screen and sighed heavily. Probably his sister was right but at the same time he was scaredas fuck. He opened it on spotify, she looked as pretty as ever on the cover of it. ‘Almost said I miss you’ - that was the title and only had 3 songs. By the names of them he suspected it was about him but he tried to believe they weren't even though his sister already told him that they were. He decided to listen to it in order.

He took his headphones from his nightstand so he could hear your voice clearly. All over his head. Cutting deep into his fiber. 

The first piano tiles started playing and his heart was already sinking. Hearing her voice so raw and close and clear sent shivers down his spine. He heard every single word you said. It described perfectly that horrible and forgettable night you broke up. Hearing your voice crack broke his heart into a million pieces. It wasn't even half of the song when he started crying. He knew what he said under his breath that sent you both straight into hell. He felt so guilty about everything. He really just wished to talk to you. 

When he started to hear the second song he knew it was about that race you went. He hoped to see you in the next one, and the next one. But you didn't go again. The lyrics were so real his skin felt every word. 

When he heard you saying that you felt sorry his tears streamed down his face more violently. He didn't recognize this person. But you always had this effect on him. With you he was a feeler, one that felt way too deeply. Unlike the person he shows to people. You always knew the real him. He couldn't lie to you. Even though you thought he would cheat on  you. He would never. Hearing you wanting to hold him broke his heart. Why did you both have to do this the hard way? Why didn't you just be happy with each other? He really missed you. He missed everything about you. Your presence around him. He was his best version with you. Now he feels like a ghost of who he used to be. 

The last song just ended him. 

‘Do you remember being happy together? I do, don't you? Then all of the sudden, you’re sick to your stomach. Is that still true?’ he whipped his tears the best he could. 

You never called her or told her you missed her. But he guessed you would have liked it like that. 

‘everything i know brings me back to us. Everywhere I go leads me back to you’ he felt the same. 

He didn't know what to do. He had a battle inside him. He promised himself he would stay away from you so you could be happy just like you deserved. But at the same time he wanted to be happy and he knew you made him happy. He was happy with you. 

“So? Call her please oscar. You both deserve to be happy and figure things out along the way, together”

Hattie read his mind. Her text just in time when he is back into the silent apartment. The empty and cold apartment that once was full of laughter and music because you were with him. He missed you so much. He missed hearing you play guitar rumbling words then writing them down. You hugged when he was back home, you cuddled in bed when he was sad, your perspective on things. He missed every detail about you.

But was he ready to come back to you?

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘ ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘ ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

author's note: SO I DELETED IT BY MISTAKE AND I HAD TO REDO IT :(((((((( i've never been this sad but I hope you like it anyway. (This like a 2.0 version) it's the longest fic i've ever written and i love it sm :,) oscar piastri i deeply love you.

idk if I should do a part 2, should I?

also shout to to my international friends nikola and sonny, you girls at the best mwak mwak 💌

don't forget to like, reblog or comment! and follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together)

[aluciahaz]

Sorry if this isn’t the askbox or not right I never done this before..

If requests are still open and whenever you feel like it of course.

I would like a dom male Reader x bottom Alastor rough smut, where the reader is in an important meeting as he is an overlord or prince of hell which ever you prefer.

And Alastor have been more chaotic lately which is messing something up for the reader and now he have to correct Alastor’s behavior.

Anyway hope you’re doing well today and take care of yourself and of course you can ignore this. Thank you.

RAHH!! im very late, sorry! i havent been feeling like writing in awhile, especially hazbin unfortunately 😭 so i decided to just post my wip i had for this request! i dont think ill ever finish it, so i wanted to post it rather than let it rot lmao, hope you enjoy although its unfinished ❤️

don’t forget your place

alastor x male!reader

includes: crying, gags, bondage

you don’t know what’s gotten into alastor recently.

the two of you sit in a meeting, right beside each other of course, and you watch as other overlords trickle into the modern room.

you didn’t even need to look at them, you could tell which people had arrived just by the sounds of their footsteps alone. each overlord was unique, it wasn’t hard to differentiate them. zestial had this almost spider-like sound when he walks, carmilla’s shoes pierced through the quiet like blades, and alastor—

“what are you thinking about, darling?” he asks, smiling at you with an inquisitive look.

you glance over at your troublesome lover, pursing your lips. “about how you’ve been harming my reputation with some of the statements you say in your radio show,” you tell him honestly, the sound of chairs moving against the pristine floors covering your conversation well enough to not require you to whisper.

“and how you keep killing some of my biggest customers. they’re too afraid to even call anymore.”

“oh, but you could always get more—”

“it’s not about that,” you hiss, your hand clenching alastor’s tightly. his smile freezes, but he’s still smug, looking at you under his hooded eyes.

“it’s about you walking over my image, al. stay in your lane,” you scold him, letting go of his hand as you feel him pull away.

all he does is shrug, clearly unbothered as he leans back in his chair. “i drive wherever gets me to my destination the fastest, my dear. and, it just seems you’re the shortcut.”

your grip on the bottom of the seat in frustration, glaring at alastor in both annoyance and sheer astonishment at his audacity to make such a euphemism. he thinks that he could just tear down your reputation to build up his own? what an outrageous idea!

perhaps you’ve been too kind to him. he thinks you’re some sort of pushover.

you’re already thinking of ways to fix that mistake. so much so, that the meeting seems to pass by like a fly and the fruit of your ideas are right in your hands in just a few seconds, tasting sweeter than honey.

“mmh—hn!” weak static fluctuated between an incessant buzzing to complete silence as you grabbed his ears roughly, tugging them back to reveal his dainty neck, a perfect place for you to latch your lips on, and soon you hear a jump in his voice as your teeth pierces his skin.

there was usually more leniency when it came to intimacy with al. you want him to enjoy it after all, so you let him bark a few insults here and there, mock you a little. whatever makes him comfortable, either way, his mouth usually ends up running out of words to play at the end of his little show of control once he gets overwhelmed, unable to read his script anymore as you drive his brain into an incoherent repeat of ‘please’.

but tonight, you watch him writhe and sob as his mouth is gagged and his body is completely tied to the bed, spread out and on full display as you ram into him, his head tossing and turning into the pillow behind him.

your hands ground him to reality, the sharp pain of your nails and unrelenting grip forcing him to stay somewhat conscious as you use him, showing how much power you have over alastor.

it was incredible to see his silver tongue unable to lacerate the air with insults, the gag upon him doing a great job at keeping him unable to throw jabs at you like you were some target at a range.

instead, all he could do was wail, drool spilling down his chin and making a mess of his dress shirt that you made sure to keep on him just to piss him off. you know how much he likes to keep his clothes in check. it’s part of his well-crafted image, after all.

“are you learning your place now, bambi?” you chuckle, your words cold on his skin, seeping into his body as he shivers at the frost, unable to protect himself from your punishment.

“answer me,” one of your hands leaves his waist, grabbing his chin and yanking him up towards you. a small, feeble whimper leaves his throat as you do so, and his eyes seem to dilate. dilate, out of all things.

“slut,” you spit, chuckling as you see his ears flop down. such a terrifying overlord, reduced to a small little deer in your hands. it was cute, how he looked at you.

it was even cuter when he shakes, so sensitive that he feels the need to twist and turn as you make him cum for the second time, his body jolting as your hand runs over his cock, still hard underneath your palm.

usually, you’d expect a sharp glare or some sort of defiance to your name-calling, but all you see is his eyes rolling back, his head tilting up as you release his chin.

there are tears that seem to adorn his cheeks like shooting stars in the sky, and babbling that‘s reminiscent of a muffled radio in another room. it was nice, seeing alastor’s breaking like this. watching him fall beneath the weight of his actions, unable to hold them up on his shoulders as they crush him in one fell swoop.

all because of you.

tags: @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @drlucichen @mvskedxrtist @luciferspetduck

[adioringhamzah]

wrong address

hamzah × y/n fic (very little fluff)

when y/n is locked out of her friend's building, a friendly stranger helps her, and they might be going to the same place

you hadn't dated in a long time, actually you never even really had a boyfriend. a few talking stages at most but you wouldn't even call them that. you were starting to feel lonely, almost 21, but still nothing. thankfully, you could always count on your bestfriend mandy. you hadn't seen her in a while, she had moved out of her old apartment not long ago but you were both so busy that you hadn't found the time to meet up in her new home, until today!

you were walking towards the building where mandy lived, thinking about how jealous you were of her and her boyfriend's relationship. you knew it wasn't right, but you were almost annoyed by how perfect martin and her were, both so pretty, so funny, and most of all, so in love. you told her you didn't need any man, but deep down, it was all you craved.

you snapped from your thoughts when you finally arrived in front of the building. you tried to open the door, but you quickly realized that you needed a code. you called mandy, but there was absolutely no cell reception, and you started to worry. it was already getting dark, and mandy was supposed to drive you back, so you didn't really want to go home by yourself now. you waited a little, hoping someone would leave or enter the apartment, and thankfully, you saw a blinding light, from someone parking their car. the car's door opened, and you were shocked by what you saw.

the most beautiful man you had probably ever seen. he had dark curls, eyes so dark that they looked like boba and the cutest playboy carti cat sweatshirt. you were smiling to yourself when he came in front of you. he looked at you a little confused by how desperate you probably looked.

"do you want to get in orr?" "yes yes!" you basically screamed, "i've been waiting forever actually", he looked at you almost scared, like you were some psycho stalker waiting for him to come home so you quickly tried to lighten things up, "please dont think im a robber though, i just want to get to my friend's appartement but i forgot the code" you started rambling and he cut you short, looking you up and down with a shy smirk "dont worry you're too pretty to get mixed up with a robber", you started blushing and thanking him awkwardly, flattered but a little confused at a total stranger complimenting you.

you patiently waited for him to open the door but all he did was stare into your eyes, not that that bothered you, -you could look into his dark eyes all day- but you were starting to get a little cold. your denim mini skirt and brandy melville tank top really weren't doing anything to keep you warm.

he noticed you slightly shaking and finally opened up the door, letting you enter first. you then took the elevator, surprisingly both going to the same floor. he talked about having to go to a party but being late, and you thought to yourself that mandy was probably waiting for you at this very instant. the elevator dinged, and you got out first, making your way to mandy's door. you made sure it was the right one by looking at your texts and were about to ring the bell when the gorgeous man from before approached you, looking almost concerned for you. you started getting scared.

"what if he's some psycho who goes on murdering women??". by the look on his face you realized you said that part out loud and he started laughing, not really helping you relax. "girll dont even, this is literally my apartment." you looked at him, absolutely stunned, and started looking through your texts to show him the address, "is your friend's name hamzah?" he asked, amused.

you shook your head, not knowing whoever that was. "then you're not at the right door.. im hamzah!", you basically ignored his statement and showed him the messages, he agreed that this was indeed his address. "waitt is your friend mandy?? it's so like her to mess up her address", he said in a sarcastic obnoxious tone. "omg yes! how did you know?", he smirked, probably happy that he was right and not just making a fool out of himself, "she used to live here with martin, but they moved out not long ago, and now i'm the one renting it, she probably just got them mixed up, " he explained.

"ohhh, im genuinely so sorry, hamzah, i didn't want to seem like a stalker y'know" you chuckled awkwardly, and he laughed a little. you both stood still looking at each other awkwardly, not really knowing what to do now, thankfully he interrupted your thoughts "so anyway, you know my name, what's yours gorgeous?", you blushed, thinking that this was already the second time that this man that looked like a literal model was complimenting you, "it's y/n, and you're not so bad yourself", you both chuckled a little before realising you had been standing in front of the door for like 10 minutes.

hamzah invited you to come in, and you faked not wanting to, but after a little persuasion, you accepted. it was't like you to enter in a stranger's house but you already felt somehow close to him since you had mutual friends. he invited you in and told you to sit on his couch. his home was a big loft, there was a distinct cologne smell to the place that had a minimalistic but thoughtful look.

you sat next to him awkwardly, and you soon realized that you were both invited to mandy's and were both like 1h late already. you mutually agreed that you were already too late and sent her a text apologising. you talked some more, it was weird, he was a total stranger but you felt so close to him. you loved his bleu de chanel scent and the way he was so passionate about his work and his friends.

when you thought he couldn't get more perfect, you saw two ginger cats coming next to you. "hope u're not allergic! this is red and blue." he introduced them with a huge smile on his face. he lifted them both in his thick arms, and you took a moment to contemplate him, you were basically in awe of him, and he seemed to like you too.

it was getting late and you started yawning, "wow i didnt how I was this boring.." he rolled his eyes playfully, and you both laughed. meanwhile, red and blue had found sleep on your tights. you told hamzah you would like to go home and he quickly proposed to drive you, which you agreed to. he got up but you were still sitting a little awkwardly, not wanting to disturb the kittens. thankfully, hamzah took them both from your tights. you felt a sense of intimacy, his warm hands touching you while he was struggling to pick them up.

he felt it too and swiftly took you by the hips. you were a little surprised by his boldness but also very content and started playing with his hair, he approached you more and more, both of you being almost face to face.

you could feel the tension growing. he grabbed your face and looked you in the eyes as if he wanted to make sure he could kiss you.

you nodded, and he placed his soft lips on yours, while his hands were gently holding your face.

mwah💋

[lingeringdesires505]

maybe its for the best

rin itoshi x reader

angst

rin can’t stop blaming himself, he knows hes at fault, that hes the reason the two of you had broken up. rin’s life mainly revolved around soccer, until he met you. all his life, his only goal was to beat his brother, itoshi sae, and show him how he too could be good at soccer. little did he know, he would be so caught up in his obsession with competing against his brother would ruin a relationship he had cherished so much.

28 April, 10.58 p.m.

The night you two broke up, it was after one of his late night trainings. despite being tired and burnt out, he still stayed back after training, pushing himself to his limit, in hopes that his skill would be up to par with his brother’s.

you laid in your shared bed with him, wondering when he would come home. his soccer training should have ended at 9 p.m., yet he was still not home. seeing the clock almost striking 11, you became more and more worried about your lover. you had sent him multiple texts, but none were read.

“he must be staying back after training again,” you thought to yourself. despite the constant reminders not to overexert himself, and that he should rest more, rin never listened to you. he would either brush you off, saying it was no big deal and that he wasnt tired, or just ignore you. you understood that he was feeling lots of stress especially with the upcoming soccer match, but you just couldnt stand there and see him destroy himself like this. it certainly wasnt healthy and beneficial for his physical or mental health.

as you reached the stadium, you saw a familiar figure doing his routines.

“rin! ive been worried about you. its already 11 p.m., you should come home and rest!” you called out to him as you ran towards him.

“ just a few more minutes…im almost done. after im done, we can go home, okay? “ he said without looking back to you.

as much as you wanted to let him finish, you could already tell he was extremely tired. the sweat running down his forehead and muscles, the heavy panting that you knew all to well — he was already pushing his limits, if you were to let him continue, he might over exhaust himself, doing more harm than good to his body.

“ rinnie, please, youre at your limit already, please just stop! youre going to hurt yourself at this rate! “ you begged him to stop, but he wouldnt listen. tears started to well up in your eyes as you grew more and more anxious, why wouldnt he just stop hurting himself like this and listen to you?

it wasnt long before rin snapped.

“do you really think im that weak?! besides, what i do to my own body is none of your business! youre just another obstacle in the way of my success, just leave me alone you lukewarm piece of shit, god damn it!” he shouted, his eyes filled with anger as he finally looked over to you.

that was when he realised he fucked up.

his heart ached as he saw hot tears streaming down your red cheeks. no, wait, he didnt mean it!

“please baby, wait, i didnt mean it. im so sorry i said that, please..” he immediately stopped what he was doing to run towards you, forcefully hugging you, frantically apologising.

you didnt say anything. you couldnt say anything. you were in disbelief — the man that you had loved with all your heart, the man that you cared for so deeply, wanted you to leave him alone? was this truly the way he felt about you? just an obstacle? a lukewarm piece of shit?

“baby please, i didnt mean any of that… its all my fault, i know you want the best for me. forgive me please… please, say something!” this time, rin was the one of the verge of tears.

“so that’s how you feel about me?… you want me to leave you alone?…” you managed to stutter out, trying hard not to start bawling on the spot. how could he say something so hurtful?

“fine. if that’s how you want it, dont contact me ever again rin, it’s over between us.”

you ran back to your car before rin could react and slammed the door shut, driving off to your shared apartment to pack your things and move out. you weren’t just angry, you were upset.

you couldnt believe this was how your relationship with rin was going to end. you always thought of rin as someone you would continue to love and care for, someone you would grow old with.

that night, rin laid on the grass in the stadium, looking up at the night sky, head filled with regrets, heart aching.

present

was it really worth it? rin always asked himself. sure, he managed to show to his brother that his soccer skills were excellent, but that didnt make him happy. in fact, after the two of you had broken up, nothing made him happy. how could he be happy without you? he was struggling to even live a day without you.

rin would spend countless sleepless nights scrolling through his photo gallery, looking at photos you had forced him to take with you. the poor man couldnt even sleep without your scent. he would often try and find old articles of clothing you had left behind around the house — it was the only way he could sleep, with your scent.

he would spend many hours training, even if there wasnt any upcoming matches. he was desperate to find any sort of distraction to distract himself from thinking about you.

some nights after training, he prayed that you would still be there outside the stadium, waiting to drive him home. he prayed that he could see you again, hear your sweet voice and hearty laugh again. he was so desperate to hear your voice again, he didnt care if he had to hear your nagging or your complaints, he just needed to hear you again, to see that pretty face of yours.

rin always thought about how foolish he was. before he met you, he felt that unfortunate things always happened to him. he always thought about how terrible and unlucky his life was. that was until he met you. you were like a blessing from heaven, an angel that came and brightened up his dull, lukewarm life. he wished he had known how to appreciate you earlier. if only he had opened his eyes and see how much you had loved and cared for him.

it feels like torture scrolling through your instagram page, seeing you move in with your new boyfriend, seeing you have dinner dates with him. he knows your new boyfriend treats you way better than he ever did, and he feels happy that your being taken good care of, but deep down, his heart was being ripped into shreds. it felt so wrong, but he couldnt stand the thought of you laughing, or smiling for another man. you were already moving on with life, getting ready to marry your boyfriend, and there was nothing he could do about it.

rin accepted that he could never be at peace with himself, especially since he had fucked up the only good thing in his life. it was too late for regrets, the only thing he could do now was make sure that you were safe and happy from afar.

———————————————————————————

thank you for reading!

word count: 1.2k

feel free to request!

please dont steal

@lingeringdesires505 2024

[vampzworld]

the one on which he worships you seonghwa x fem reader

MINORS DNI || this is a work of fiction, f i c t i o n. this isn't a representation of seonghwa in real life. || otherwise enjoy, and please dont plagiaries my work.

this is also my first time posting something on here so... idk how this is gonna go, but my friends said this is too good not to share so.. imma share. :) mwah :3

OH THERES A PLAYLIST I GATHERED TOO LET ME JUST :

summoning by sleep token

Chokehold by sleep token

Right here by chase atlantic

Candy by doja cat (PLAY THIS WHEN IT SAYS)

Wicked games by the weeknd

Renegade by aaryan shah

Earned it by the weeknd

Best friends by the weeknd

Im yours by isabel la rosa

----------------------------------------

“A sign from god ? the gods? You are an angel. I am enraptured by your everything.” genre: friends/lovers, sexual tension. idk what else just enjoy <3 luv, mother. word count: 1757... ---------------------------------------------------

You just got off work and it was late at night, not too late where anyone was concerned but enough to get Seonghwa to text you and ask where you were. You guys worked under the same company but have been friends for years. You just broke up with your boyfriend so he had a reason to text and be concerned. You ignore his text and get in your car, you were an hour away from home. The drive home was peaceful until your phone was going off every other 2 minutes, you didn’t bother to check because you already knew who it was. You shoot Seonghwa a quick text, reassuring him that you are okay. The texts stop for a while, 8 minutes later you get a call from him. “Yes, Hwa how can i help you ?” you ask, rolling your eyes as you get on the last highway home. “Where are you?” he asks in a monotone kind of voice. “On the highway, can i finish my drive home in peace?” you retort. Lowkey regretting it, can he get a little demonic ? overprotective. Yea but he just cares about you that's all and needs you to be safe. “I’ll be waiting” he hangs up. THE FUCK is that supposed to fucking mean. You push it aside and the drive home goes by faster than you expected. You had no worries or regrets about the call, if only you knew what you were going home to. You get home, park your car and get in the elevator on the way to your apartment. Everything feels fine, so you calm down. Still pondering what Hwa meant as you walk to the elevator, you reminisce on how he growled his last sentence to you. You squeeze your legs in response to butterflies moving into your abdomen, no that's not right. Hwa is your friend and bitch get a grip you just got out of a relationship. That can't take away from what your body needs. 

You need to be fucked. You need Seonghwa. It's wrong. It is downright sinful, but you love it. Pressure further builds up throughout your entire body. You shake your head as you exit the elevator and begin the trip to your apartment. (candy by doja cat) You unlock your door and are taken aback by who you see sitting on your couch. Seonghwa is spread out on your couch with a look on his face only the devil himself can recreate. “What are you doing here Hwa?” you ask, setting down your things and making your way towards your couch. “ What.. how the FUCK did you get in?” you ask sitting down. He doesn’t speak, he just looks you up and down. Studying you like the mona lisa, his gaze is ravenous and you are matching the energy without even knowing. “You want me huh ?” he asks in a low tone. You gulp, wondering how he knew that. He moves near you slowly, hands gently tracing your legs and moving further. “Tell me you don’t want this” he says as he moves his hands to your thighs. “Tell me this is a sin, tell me this is wrong” he says as he moves up to your face, his breath tingling your neck sending chills down your body. You shudder as he nips your ear, “Tell me you don’t want this and I will stop” he says placing soft kisses on your neck and he unzips your jacket. You stop him and he looks you in your eyes with a look that is ravenous yet innocent. He is begging to experience you, taste you. He is ravenous. Is this wrong ? yes. Have you wanted him since the dawn of time ? yes. You nodded yes and he takes that and turns into someone you never knew existed. He starts at your neck placing rough passionate kisses on your neck, ones that will leave a mark. He slips off your jacket with a swiftness, and takes his hands down to your waist gripping it tightly like he is gonna lose you. He takes your shirt off revealing your boobs, he b-lines and latches on like a breastfeeding child. Playing with your nipples in his mouth, you arch your back in response to the pleasure. He takes note of that and massages your thighs and continues onto the other boob. You moan at the sensation, a heat building up between your legs. 

This is wrong so wrong, but it feels so right. 

He lays you down on your couch, taking your pants off slowly, never breaking eye contact. “So pretty baby, look at you so beautiful” he says as he places gentle kisses on your legs as your pants are finally off your legs. He makes eye contact with you before he gets up on his knees towering over you, the look he gives you makes you wet beyond belief. “Baby, you’re wet for me aren’t you?” he asks you as he makes his way to your underwear. He plays with your clit from the outside, you want him inside. You try to get more friction and it doesn't work. His free hand flies to your throat pinning you down, “Stay where I fucking have you” he growls making himself level with your pussy. He slides your underwear down so slow, you moan in angst. He goes even slower than before making you ache. Your ex could never make you feel like this. “You are beautiful” he moans as he kisses your inner thigh. You get wetter each tender kiss he lays on your body, blissful moans fill the air. LUST lingers all around you two. You moan as he kisses your clit finally. “A sign from god ? the gods? You are an angel. I am enraptured by everything.” he says before he latches onto your clit. A new sensation possesses you and he goes harder against your clit. His tongue dives into your pussy as his nose rubs perfectly against your clit. Sending you into overdrive. “You are perfect baby” he moans into your vagina as he carries on to eat you like you were the last meal he was going to have. He continues to hit every spot perfectly, making you moan uncontrollably. “I-I’m gonna cum” you moan as you try to squirm out of his death grip. He swiftly moves you so that you are sitting on his face. “Drown me baby, I don’t care if you think I can’t breathe.” he says as he rubs your clit with his thumb stimulating you perfectly. “You are a goddess who deserves to be worshiped, if I die between your legs I will have died a happy man. Now fuck my face” as he yanks you down onto his face moving your hips. Sending you into a bliss where you swear you can taste the stars. You finally come back to earth and start to ride his face, the vibrations from his moans send you to heaven and back. You start to ride out your high and he moans louder into your pussy. You cum and he holds you down, drinking from you like you are the fountain of youth. You ride out your high and get off his face. Revealing a drenched Seonghwa, you feel like you need more. 

You work your way to his waistband, unbuckling his belt and moving onto his pants.  Seonghwa looks at you with nothing but love and lust in his eyes. He helps you take off his pants. “You know I have been dreaming of you for years” he says as you climb onto his lap as you grind on his dick making him stutter. He hugs you tightly as you continue to grind on his dick, making him rock hard under you. “ Please fuck me, please I beg” he whimpers igniting something in you, something you didnt know but liked. Liked all too much. You tease him furthermore, watching him throw his head back. Unable to control himself. “Please, Please fuck me. Ride me, Use me. I NEED you” he begs. You slide yourself down slowly onto his dick, making him whimper and grip your waist so tight, you know it's going to bruise in the morning. You go slowly at first, driving him insane, enjoying how his eyes are rolling back. You brush his hair out of his face, and grab his face forcing him to look at you as you go faster. “You are the bane of my existence, I dream of you day and nigh-” he manages to get out before he’s a moaning mess due to you going faster. You are slowly losing yourself too but you want to watch him unravel more. You gather yourself as you force him to look at you as you ride him, he keeps eye contact with you. Then his switch flips, he grabs your hips tight and brings you up and slams you back down on his dick over and over again. Causing your tits to bounce, he sucks on one then continues to slam you on his dick over and over. Finally giving you a break. “Cute, you thought you were in control, sit down and take this dick” he says as he fucks into you harder, hugging you he slams into you harder with each thrust. “Good girl, taking this dick like you should have been when you were with that lame. You belong to me.” he says and he lets you go and lets you ride, “say you’re mine” he says as he chokes you. “I'm yours hwa, im yours” you say as you moan nearing the edge. “Whose pussy is this?” he asks, looking you in your eyes pushing you closer. “Yours, it's yours” you cry out. Seonghwa rolls his eyes and throws his head back, “I’m gonna nut in you” he moans as he comes back to your face, fallin in love with the person he is seeing. “Do it” you say with a smirk. You guys cum at the same time, moans fill the air. The smell of lust fills your apartment. You guys ride out your high together making eye contact, nothing else matters. Fuck a noise complaint.

You guys come back down to Earth, he looks at you “ You are a goddess and I cant wait to fuck you everyday after this” he says as he places a kiss on your forehead. 

This is downright sinful but what does it matter? You're his finally and you don’t care who knows.  ----------------------------------

this is my first time posting anything on here of this nature, so enjoy ?? i guess idk, im super shy and anxious forgive me. if you liked it please leave a comment or wtv tf tumblr calls it and reblog. tell a friend or a neighbor. if you'd like to be tagged in the next thing i post (possibly)

i will link my little uh form for you guys to fill out.

https://forms.gle/toC2XbXfXLzzbPmZ6

good night my batz !! until next time..

mother.

[ot8xbangchansgirlsblog]

𝔻ℝ𝔸𝔽𝕋 𝟙: "𝕋𝕖𝕒𝕞 𝕓𝕦𝕚𝕝𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘"

A/N: So im starting a series called "Drafts" and basically i'll be dropping stories/series that i dont really like so that other authors can copy/use them, I realized i have so many ideas and stories but i do have a short attention spam so i never really finish them and i get bored easily but i've had so many people ask if they can use my works as inspo so i thought i would make a section for writers starting their blogs or if they like my work...I do have some rules tho and if you really want to use my work just DM and we can work together and figure out stuff but for today....

i started this story like an hour ago and i dont really like it so...whoever would like to finish it or use it as inspo can just dm and lmk and i'll tell you the full plot and how you should go on about it! If you steal my work i will call you out and sue you (im joking...maybe)

The sun was high in the sky, casting its golden rays over the island as the group gathered together for another monthly tradition: teambuilding. It was a day when everyone set aside the hectic schedules, the long hours of practice, and the stress of being in a band, to focus on one thing: each other. The team had gotten better over time at communicating, problem-solving, and even just relaxing together. Most importantly, it was what had helped Hyunjin and Han get along, despite their differences.

This time, the band had ventured to an adventure park on a picturesque island, with lush green trees and winding trails leading down to sparkling blue waters. The air was warm, tinged with the scent of pine and saltwater. It felt like the perfect place to bond.

The tents were set up in a small clearing near the edge of the forest, and the smell of wood smoke and cooking food was already drifting in the air. Everyone was busy unpacking their things, setting up their temporary homes for the weekend. Chan and Lee Know were outside chopping firewood, while Y/n was struggling with an air mattress that refused to inflate properly. Felix was off with I.N. near the campfire, talking excitedly about the activities ahead.

“Hey guys, the tour guide says we’re starting now!” I.N. called out, looking over his shoulder as he hurried to the others. His enthusiasm was infectious, and even the grumpy Hyunjin seemed to perk up a little at the mention of getting started.

“Okay, we’ll be there soon,” Hyunjin replied, his voice muffled as he concentrated on tying up some gear. He was focused, intent on getting everything in order before heading out.

But it was hard to ignore the heat of the day. The air was thick with humidity, and beads of sweat clung to everyone’s foreheads as they worked. Chan, still wearing his black cap, wiped his brow with the back of his hand. He glanced over at Y/n, who was still trying to manage the air mattress.

"Babe, did you pack the lighter for the stove?" Chan asked, his voice carrying a note of concern as he finished stacking the firewood with Lee Know.

Y/n paused, looking up from the deflated mattress she was struggling with. She frowned, shifting through the piles of kitchen supplies they'd brought.

"It should be somewhere here," she said, her brows furrowing as she sifted through the plastic bins. She could feel the pressure mounting—the heat, the clock ticking down, and Chan's gaze on her, his frustration clear.

"Please don’t tell me you forgot it," Chan's voice shifted, irritation creeping in. His tone wasn't as light as usual.

Y/n felt a slight sting at his words but chose to brush it off. She knew he’d been stressed lately—work stuff, maybe. "I told Felix to put it in one of the boxes, I swear. Let me look again, give me a second," she tried to reason with him, her hands digging deeper into the box of kitchen tools.

The heat was making everything feel ten times worse, and Y/n could feel the sweat rolling down the back of her neck as she scrambled to find what they needed.

Chan’s sigh was sharp. "Forget it. I’ll just go get one from the tour guide. I swear, you can’t do anything right these days." His words hung in the air, cutting through the noise of the campsite. The way he spoke—so blunt, so sharp—made Y/n freeze for a moment.

Her eyes lifted from the boxes, meeting his. She hadn’t expected that. Not from him.

"Hey… that’s not nice," she said quietly, her voice softer than usual. She could feel her chest tighten with a mix of confusion and hurt. She had been trying so hard to plan this trip, to make sure everything went smoothly, but it felt like none of it mattered.

Chan, not even looking back at her, shrugged with a careless attitude. "Yeah, whatever. Just finish up here and get to the others. Make sure to carry your water bottle; it’s too hot out." He didn’t even wait for her reply, turning and walking away, his footsteps crunching on the gravel as he left.

Y/n stood there, still holding the kitchen utensils in her hand, staring at the spot where he’d been just a moment ago. The harshness of his words stung. Why was he so angry? She knew he was stressed, but it was different today. His words felt almost cruel.

“...Okay then,” she murmured to herself, trying to keep her voice steady. She wasn’t sure if she should push him or just let it go. In the end, she decided to focus on the task at hand.

After finishing up the tents and making sure everything was packed neatly, Y/n felt a slight sense of satisfaction. It wasn’t just that she didn’t like messes; it was the peace of mind knowing that everything was in order before the real fun started. With a quick glance around the campsite, she slipped on her trainers, ready to catch up with the group. Her mood was still weighed down by the conversation with Chan earlier, but she knew that seeing Felix would help lift her spirits.

As she rounded the corner of their tent area, a familiar voice called out to her.

“Hey, I was looking for you,” Felix chirped, appearing from behind one of the nearby trees. Before she could respond, he pulled her into a quick, sweet kiss.

She smiled, the warmth of his embrace doing wonders for her mood. “I was just finishing up the tents,” she said, resting her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. “Have I missed anything?”

Felix chuckled, his voice light and playful. “No, not really. Seungmin and Changbin have been arguing about team captains.” He gestured over to the two of them, who were already bickering loudly as the rest of the group looked on.

“Of course they are!” Y/n laughed, shaking her head in amusement.

Felix’s giggle was contagious as he leaned in to whisper in her ear. “I told them to just do rock-paper-scissors, but they still end up fighting.”

Y/n sighed, rolling her eyes fondly. “Some things never change.”

Felix tugged her gently toward the group, who were all standing around watching the bickering match. Lee Know was the first to step in, clearly fed up with the squabbling.

“Okay, how about this?” Lee Know called, raising his voice to cut through the noise. “The couples stick together, and I.N. can be in charge of one group. Hyunjin will be with me and Han, and Changbin, Seungmin, you’re with I.N.” He pulled Han into his arms as he spoke, his usual mischievous grin plastered on his face.

"I ain't complaining," Han giggled, shooting a playful wink at Lee Know.

Seungmin’s eyes widened in horror. “What? I’m stuck with him?” He pointed an accusing finger at I.N., who was standing beside the rest of the group, looking entirely too pleased with himself.

“Fine, but there’s no way on earth I’m letting I.N. be in charge,” Changbin grumbled, crossing his arms in a dramatic huff. “He got so lost in the forest last time.”

“Hey! That was one time! Give me a break!” I.N. pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Sure, cause it’s totally normal to get lost in the forest,” Hyunjin teased, a smirk forming on his face.

I.N. shot him a glare, and without warning, punched Hyunjin on the shoulder. “Ow! Rude!” Hyunjin cried out, rubbing his shoulder in exaggerated pain.

“As much as I love watching you guys argue all day,” Chan started, his tone already dripping with sarcasm, “we need to get this show on the road. Everyone, let’s get to the track.”

Y/n groaned, rolling her eyes as she adjusted her water bottle. “It’s too hot for this,” she complained, wiping sweat from her brow as she followed the group.

Felix, always the considerate one, frowned sympathetically. “Tell me about it.” He handed her his water bottle, and she gratefully took it, feeling the cool liquid slide down her throat. “Drink water, it’ll help,” he added softly, flashing her a reassuring smile. She gave him a thankful look, feeling the refreshing water cool her down just a bit.

The group began making their way to the obstacle course. The track looked brutal—a long stretch of muddy trails, water pits, and even ladders. It resembled something straight out of a military training course, and Y/n couldn’t help but feel a little anxious just thinking about it.

“Okay, people!” The tour guide called out, clapping his hands loudly to get everyone’s attention. “This is going to be the toughest course you’re going to run on this trip, so I hope you’re energized!” He grinned, clearly enjoying the prospect of making everyone sweat.

Y/n squinted at the muddy course ahead, already dreading what was to come. “The team to ring the bell first wins. And remember, losers get a swim in the lake,” the guide added, his tone light and teasing. Everyone chuckled, but it didn’t take long before the competitive energy started to bubble to the surface.

“Hey, Lee Know, make sure you don’t lose, or the crocodiles will get you,” Seungmin teased, his eyes gleaming with mischief as he noticed Lee Know’s sudden terrified expression.

Lee Know’s face drained of color. “What? Crocodiles?!” He looked around nervously, taking a cautious step back.

“Oh, please, he’d drown before they’d even get close,” Y/n snickered, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

“Be nice! We’re not going to lose,” Han chimed in, his arms still wrapped tightly around Lee Know. He defended his boyfriend with a smile, though it was clear Lee Know was still visibly shaken by the crocodile comment.

Lee Know shot Y/n a playful, but ominous glare. “Tonight, you die in your sleep.”

Y/n froze for a second, then burst out laughing. “What?!” She gasped between giggles. “What the hell, Lee Know?”

Lee Know was smirking now, clearly pleased with himself. “That’s what I thought,” he said, a wicked grin on his face.

For a moment, Y/n’s laughter died, and she quickly found herself hiding behind Felix, who was already doubled over in laughter. Hyunjin, too, was wiping tears from his eyes as they both snickered at the banter.

“What just happened?” Y/n asked, peeking out from behind Felix, who was still trying to catch his breath from laughing.

“That was gold,” Hyunjin chuckled, giving Lee Know a teasing look. “You’ve got to admit, that was pretty good.”

Y/n just shook her head, still snickering as they all gathered at the starting line. The tension from earlier seemed to melt away, replaced by a sense of camaraderie and playful competition. And though her mood had been low before, the lighthearted teasing, the friendly chaos, and the easy laughter shared between the group reminded her just why she loved these moments. Even though there was no telling who would win the race, one thing was for sure—they would all be laughing until the very end.

"Okay, shall we?" The tour guide's voice rang out, cutting through the chatter and the tension that had settled among the group. Everyone looked toward him, and in unison, they responded with enthusiastic "yeahs!" A few people stretched their arms and legs, preparing for what was going to be a grueling but fun race.

Y/n, however, couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. She glanced over at Chan, who was standing off to the side, arms crossed, wearing his usual serious expression. His quiet mood had been lingering all day, and it didn’t seem to be letting up.

"Channie-oppa, do you want to go up first?" Y/n asked, trying her best to sound casual, though there was a hint of concern in her voice. She wanted to make sure he was okay.

Chan didn’t look at her at first, adjusting the bandana around his bicep without even glancing in her direction. "If Lee Know is going up, then I will. He’s the only problem," he said flatly. His tone was cold, the distance between them growing with every word.

Y/n felt a sharp pang of disappointment, but she hid it behind a small, tight smile. "O-okay, baby, I’ll just go first then," Felix chimed in, noticing the subtle shift in Y/n’s mood. He could feel the tension in the air. Felix gave her a small, reassuring look, sensing how much she wanted Chan’s attention but wasn’t getting it.

"Okay, I guess I’ll just wait and see when Lee Know goes, then," Y/n said, trying to shake it off. She took a step back, allowing Felix to take the front.

Felix shot her a quick smile before positioning himself at the starting line, his nerves evident, though he was trying his best to mask it. The excitement around him was contagious, but Y/n could still feel the weight of her own emotions.

“Is everyone ready?!” the tour guide called from the far end of the track, his voice booming.

“Yeah!” Felix responded enthusiastically, his competitive spirit kicking in. Seungmin and Han moved up beside him, each of them taking their marks.

“Come on, Han! Fighting!” Hyunjin cheered from the sidelines, Lee Know beside him, grinning and clapping.

“Seungmin, if you lose, you’re sleeping outside. Fighting!” Changbin shouted, his teasing voice carrying over to Seungmin, who responded by flipping him off dramatically. The group burst into laughter, their energy slowly ramping up.

Felix stood up straighter, looking down at the course in front of him. Y/n caught his eye and gave him a bright, encouraging smile. "Felix, you’ve got this!" she cheered, her voice filled with warmth.

Felix’s face flushed with a mixture of embarrassment and gratitude as he gave her a shy, nervous smile. "Thanks," he muttered, his fingers drumming against his sides.

Y/n turned her attention back to Chan, who was still standing quietly, staring at the track with an unreadable expression. "I really hope he wins," she said quietly to him, her voice soft, almost pleading. She knew how much Felix wanted this.

Chan's response was short and clipped, his eyes never leaving the race. "He will," he said, his voice flat. "Let’s just watch."

Y/n let out a quiet sigh but decided not to dwell on his mood. She wasn’t going to let it ruin her excitement for Felix. She had come here to enjoy herself, and she would.

“Felix, fighting!” she cheered again, her voice louder this time. "Go go go!"

As the sound of the starting bell rang, the group surged forward, their adrenaline pumping as they tackled the muddy course. Y/n jumped up and down on the sidelines, clapping and shouting, her eyes fixed on Felix as he navigated the first obstacle—a wall of tires.

"Oh my God," Hyunjin muttered, rubbing his face in disbelief as he watched Han slip and fall, face-first, into the mud.

"This boy is not made for sports," Lee Know laughed, shaking his head with mock disappointment, though the grin on his face said he was enjoying the chaos.

Y/n couldn’t help but burst out laughing as she heard Han’s panicked yells and screeches from behind the group. He was covered in mud, flailing his arms in a dramatic, almost cartoonish way as the others raced ahead, leaving him in the dust.

The rest of the team was already way ahead, but Han’s misfortune provided some much-needed levity. “I’m okay! I’m okay!” Han yelled, his voice high-pitched and frantic. But even through his exaggerated protests, Y/n could hear the laughter in his tone. The whole scene was absurdly hilarious, and she couldn’t stop giggling.

"Poor Han," Felix said, grinning as he passed one of the mud pits. "At least he’s trying."

“Tell that to the mud,” Y/n joked back, her laughter ringing out across the course. It felt good to have a moment of lightness, to be able to laugh and forget about the tension with Chan. For now, all she cared about was supporting Felix and enjoying the chaos of the day.

As they all moved further into the course, the rest of the group continued to cheer each other on, the banter between them only growing. But for Y/n, there was a new focus—she could feel herself rooting for Felix more than ever. The way he powered through the obstacles, his energy infectious, reminded her that no matter what else was going on, they still had this—together.

the race had ended with felix in first place followed by Seungmin then ofcourse han.

"im never doing that again," han huffed as he made his way with the rest of the group.

y/n run and jumped into felix's arms wrapping her legs around him. "you did it, im so proud!" she squeals giving him a kiss althought he was muddy.

"thank you, but babe..." he huffed and puffed, "i cant feel my arms or legs," he whined and she quickly got off him laughing once she realized she was squeezing him too death.

"Han seriously i love you but there is no way in earth and letting you touch me," leeknow was jogging away from han. The younger boy was trying to wrap his arms around leeknow.

"touch meee, im hurting. i need your love," Han teased as he caught up to leeknow and wrapped his muddy self around an annoyed looking han.

"dont worry leeknow, you'll just wash it off when you get into the lake," seungmin told him and everyone laughed as i.n high fived seungmin.

"ha ha ha real funny but you forget that's just 1/3, lets stop talking and get back to business," he rolled his eyes pushing han off.

"alright, the next members please step up!' the tour guide called once he had finished updating the points.

Y/n, who was helping Felix wash off some of the mud from his face, glanced over to see if Lee Know would be participating in the race. When she realized he wasn’t, she quickly handed Felix the bottle back and made her way to the starting block, ready to face off against Hyunjin and I.N.

“Good luck, sucker!” Hyunjin teased, sticking his tongue out at her. Y/n playfully rolled her eyes, a smirk forming on her lips.

“Just you wait, Hyunjin! I’ll show you who the real sucker is!” she shot back, her competitive spirit ignited.

“Woooo! Go Y/nnie! Make me proud!” Felix cheered from the sidelines, his voice ringing with encouragement. The rest of the boys joined in, their shouts blending into a chorus of support for their teammates.

Taking a deep breath, Y/n got onto her knees, ready for the whistle. When it finally went off, adrenaline surged through her veins, and she took off running.

She navigated through the tires and climbed up one of the shaky ladders, her heart racing as she noticed Hyunjin in the lead. To her surprise, she had managed to outrun I.N., who was trailing behind.

The cheers from the boys echoed in her ears, and it felt like time had slowed down as she pushed herself forward. She sprinted into the murky, muddy water and ducked under the tunnels, managing to pass Hyunjin, who had gotten tangled in the ropes.

“I can’t believe this! Is this real?” she thought, disbelief washing over her. There was no way she was going to win. She glanced back and saw I.N gaining on her, and her heart sank. They only had one obstacle left: a narrow, stiff piece of wood they had to walk across.

Her lungs burned, and sweat dripped down her forehead as she stepped onto the beam. Just as she found her balance, her ankle buckled, and she felt a sharp pull in her muscles.

“Ugh!” she gasped, losing her footing and tumbling to the side, hitting the ground hard.

“Ha! See you, loser!” I.N laughed, oblivious to her pain.

“It’s okay, Y/nnie! You can do it!” Felix’s voice cut through the laughter, urging her on. She struggled to her feet, pain shooting up her leg, but she pushed through, determined to at least finish in second place.

With a quick glance back to ensure Hyunjin was still far behind, she sprinted toward the finish line, but as she crossed it, she collapsed, wincing in pain as the

impact jolted through her ankle. The cheers from her friends faded into the background as she lay on the ground, trying to catch her breath.

Felix rushed over, concern etched on his face. “Y/n! Are you okay?” He knelt beside her, his hands hovering over her ankle, unsure of how to help.

“I... I think I sprained it,” she managed to say between breaths, her voice strained. The adrenaline was wearing off, and the pain was becoming more pronounced.

“Let’s get you up,” Felix said gently, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to help her sit up. “You did amazing! I can’t believe you almost won!”

“Yeah, well, almost doesn’t count,” she replied with a weak smile, trying to lighten the mood despite the throbbing pain.

Lee Know approached, his expression serious. “We need to get you some ice and check that ankle. You really pushed yourself out there.”

“I’m fine, really,” Y/n protested, but the look on Lee Know’s face told her he wasn’t buying it.

“Fine? You just collapsed at the finish line!” he said, his tone a mix of concern and frustration. “Let’s take care of you first, okay?”

Han returned with a towel and a bottle of water, handing them to Felix before kneeling down next to Y/n. “You were incredible, Y/nnie! I’m so proud of you, but we need to make sure you’re okay.”

As they helped her to her feet, Y/n leaned on Felix for support, her other hand resting on Han’s shoulder. The boys surrounded her, their voices a comforting buzz as they reassured her and celebrated her effort in the race.

“Next time, I’ll win for sure,” she said, trying to sound confident despite the pain.

“Next time, we’ll make sure you’re fully healed first,” Lee Know replied, a small smile breaking through his worry.

“Yeah, and I’ll be your personal cheerleader,” Felix added, grinning widely.

[billshxsband]

can you do 2011 tom and hes your college professor and the reader hates him, she walks into class with a short skirt and he doesnt allow the skirt in class so he takes the reader to detention and hes there and you are the only two there

(have a blessed day :D)

OFC SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY I WAS HAVING A BAD DAY YESTERDAY 😭🙏

Im assuming its smut so im sorry if its not 😔❤️

(P in v, hair pulling, a bit of degrading!!)

————————————————————————

Another day with this annoying teacher, i will admit he may be cute but i do not like him. Every girl is obsessed with him i don’t understand what they see in him..

I decided to wear something kinda showing today, just to piss him off i guess, didnt go as i expected it to..

“Y/n.. that skirt is way too short.” He pointed me out again. “You’ll survive. Whyre you looking anyway?” He immediately looked away, a bit flustered.

“Whatever, i need you to stay after class we have to talk about your grades.” Theres nothing wrong with my grades.. i get As and Bs, Ds at worst but nothing under!?

Eventually class ended and we walked over to my desk, everyone had already left. “Why would you wear that, do you know how distracting that can be for some people?” He asked. “So what? If they fail they fail. They can keep their eyes to themselves and their own work!”

“Wanna keep giving me attitude? I will say it wont end well. I suggest  you stop, now.” Was he trying to scare me? If so it was not working at all. I ignored his warning and rolled my eyes, then he grabbed my face making me look at him. Ok.. was not expecting that ill admit..

“Did i not just tell you to stop? Do i have to punish you?”

“I dont know, do you?” I gave him a small smirk, he sat down in a chair and pulled me onto his lap. “Do i?” He made me look down at him.

It was kinda hot not gonna lie.. he grabbed my hand and placed it onto his crotch. Fuck i didnt know he meant this.. im not complaining tho..

“Wait mr kaul-“ he immediately interrupted me with a kiss, which then turned into a makeout..

Eventually he bent me over the desk. “G’na fuck you dumb.. cant listen then ill teach you.” He pushed my skirt up, moving my panties to the side and unzipping his pants.

“You on the pill?”

“Yes..”

“Perfect.”

He took off his boxers and without a warning rammed his dick into my cunt. “Shit! No warning!?” “I warned you didnt i? I told you it wouldnt be good, now shut the fuck up before someone hears us.”

He started pounding into me, not gentle at all. He grabbed my hips, slightly digging his nails into them. “Fuck.. so tight..” he grabbed my hair, pulling it slightly so he could see my face, i was a moaning mess.

He slapped my ass roughly. “I told you to shut up didnt i!?” “I-i can-t.. t’much.. ugh mmhhh!..”

“You’ll survive.. im almost there.. shit.. g’na cum in this tight little pussy..”

He started rubbing my clit fastly, my legs starting to shake as i came on his cock. He kept thrusting, overstimulating me. “P-please i cant! It hur-rts..!”

He slammed in one more time, coating my insides with his cum. He then pulled out, shoving the cum back in with two fingers, wiping my cunt and his dick with some tissues.

“Now go to your next class. You should listen to me more often if you don’t want that again.”

I nodded.

Well.. looks like i wont be listening any time soon..

[sugar-omi]

I came here to ask for Rockstar! Cove rambles and saw the Rockstar! Baxter art you reblogged omfg it's so good.

Please can we get some of your Rockstar! Cove (and/or Baxter if you feel like it) rambles 🙏

(Hope your holiday has been great 💖)

this is more. rockstar!cove backstory but YKW ITS FINE BC ITS BEEN WHATS ON MY MIND LATELY we'll have to talk abt him again bc this post was getting LONG especially w baxterrr

tags : SFW, headcanons, step 2-4, rockstar au, so ooc, bullying mentioned, fighting, baxter's tags are below before his hc's

listen....

im ngl. i want him to be maybe a little toxic. a lil crazy.

or into things he's not canonically into/does often

at least he's rough n impulsive at first

whenever he can get away with it, and before he got famous, he loves taking a long ride on his motorcycle

compared to when he was a young teen, he tries not to take drives when he's angry

bc when he was young, he'd put on some music and blast it as loud as it could go, and he'd drive and drive and drive...

ended up with a few warnings and speeding tickets that way because he'd get lost in riding n his thoughts n the music

but now that his life isn't so turbulent, he doesn't do that anymore

i wanna imagine he doesn't grow up with you next door n you didn't know each other until junior year of high school

he sees you n he's sold...

thinks you're so fucking beautiful/handsome and he sees you laughing n smiling w your friends n he's so, so whipped for you

he's still a sweet shy boy, so it takes forever for him to talk to you

n it's terry who introduced you two!!!

he's all flustered, bc you're even more lovely up close

n if you're all bubbly n extroverted, he thinks you're like sunshine

if you're more reserved, he thinks you're very cool or that it's amazing how calm you are all the time

if you're shy/easily flustered, will sometimes (and now that he's grown, always) mention out loud he thinks it's cute when you blush...

either way, just loves your personality n thinks you're amazing n cute

you actually calm him down. you ground him.

he used to get into fights kinda often.

i like to think rockstar!cove got like this bc his parents stayed together longer than they did, n there was no brilliant neighbor to reach out to him

he n his dad were still like oil n water, and the kids at school were less than friendly but usually didn't dare fuck with him

key word is usually.

just had a thought actually... cliff's family living nearby

not his parents. he moved as far as he could

and with him n Kyra on the brink of divorce, her moving out the house, n all cliff has to do to keep them afloat..

he didn't think his equally shitty cousins would be a problem.

but surprise!! they're a few doors down n too happy to "catch up"

cove n cliff avoid them pretty well, n cliff really didn't need to tell cove to avoid his cousins bc he was already 2 steps ahead of him

but his cousins dont get that message, they also think its a good idea to pick on cove...

so between the short patience of most hormonal 13 year olds, his parents (finally) separating, cove's intolerance for bullshit....

cove ends up rocking his 2 cousins shit when they snatch his glasses off his face, bending the frame

ignores his cousins mom yelling at him n cliff to apologize for hurting her kids. feels a bit warm when his dad tells her his son is more well mannered than both her kiss combined, even laughs when he says a rabid raccon has more sense n poise

but is even happier when his dad, after a moment of silence in the car, asks him if be used the right hook he taught him

n tries to hide his smile when his dad ruffles his hair n goes "that's good. good job son."

he does hear the whole, "violence isn't always the answer" and "pick your battles" thing

but he shrugs off the lecture when he and cliff have a tub of ice cream each n cliff holds a bag of peas to his face

anyway.

he fights like a DOG. he arGRHHH HE HAS EVERYTHIGN TAKEN CARE OF. TRUST.

professional at sneaking out n sneaking YOU out

cove at 4am: wanna get mcd's?

dont even bother saying no bc he's already outside

dont pretend to be sleep either bc he FUCKING SEES YOU.

will leave you alone if you genuinely don't wanna fuck around in the middle of the night, but how can you say no to him?

ah. before i forget

Will kiss you if you're bandaging his face

asks you to ice his bruises...

SINGS YOU SONGS N SHIT

kryptonite. creep. p!nk and lady gaga PERIOD. all of it

serenades you with his guitar and/or voice

sometimes he's just fiddling with the strings, switching between cheery beats and trying to rick roll you but the beat is wayyy off

loves when you fall asleep to his music too, plays the sleepiest tune he can think of

you being his biggest supporter is what makes him fight to make a name in the music industry

after supporting him in his personal life, through all his lows and highs, then supporting his music that he was too scared to go for

he puts his best foot forward for his sake and yours

+ TAGS: mention of FWB, toxic baxter <3, so ooc ofc, mm implied partying/drinking

now rockstar baxter....

i want him to be a problem. he's the toxic one here

compared to cove, who is soft n sweet but impulsive and always willing to fight, rough but well meaning...

baxter is your situationship

your friends with benefits

friends if a loose word, since you hardly ever talk since you've met and unless arguing, bickering, or sexting counts as getting to know each other...

than you're best friends!!!

he's the big headed musician who always asks "wyd" and "u up?" whenever he's in town

at least he sends you money to doll up or eat, or whatever before he gets in town

"make sure you eat before i come. bc im not letting you go once i get there"

so.... if you want commitment. he's not it...

just saw *this tweet, and rockstar!baxter IS the type to email you after you block him

omfg. if any of yall have read armin x reader fanfics... yk how he is in those fics? all toxic n shit?

thats baxter.

not THAT bad. like baby trapping bad or cheating on you, manipulating you etc.

but he's bad

definitely the dumb choice you make at 18-20 smth years old n once you mature, you drop him because he doesn't grow up quickly...

he won't even have the realization that you're the one until he's MINIMUM 37-40+ YEARS OLD. AND FLYS UP FROM THE BED LIKE HE'S SEEN A GHOST

curses n curses himself to high hell and low heaven

now depending on how bad he's fucked you over, or you've moved on, etc... he understands if you don't wanna try being together, bc he was a fucking mess

at least, if he sees you catching feelings or himself, he does break it off

but there's still good times between you!!

he sends you things for your birthday

and when he's not on tour showing his ass, he comes to spend it with you

is very happy if you come to spend his birthday with him!!!

starts to look forward to it, but he doesn't really show it

although after the first time, he can't help crying, thought the first time was just a one off thing

unless you make the first one a big thing, than he cries then

even if all you did was get/make a cake and decorate your small apartment, he's so so happy

mm i started thinking abt smth

i don't think he's that bad, impulsive, etc. before his career

before, he's pursuing music because his parents hate it. its "not a useful career" and "embarrassing"

but then he starts to love it, its an outlet for him and then it's become a passion

but once he gets a deal with a record label, it's just a downward spiral

puts everything into music, ignores everything else and doesn't take breaks like he should

i think what breaks your "relationship" is him getting caught up in the darker side of the music industry, and losing himself.

he doesn't laugh or anything like before

doesn't make random trips to see you anymore

in fact, probably ends up flaking on you or suddenly canceling, or going weeks without talking to you

its rough. and you two definitely need time apart for him to grow and realize that this is serving anyone besides the companies pockets well

[thelovelylolly]

Hi first of all i hope youre doing okay, wel best as you can be and i give you my condoleance 💗 please take care of yourself and don't feel obligated to anything.

Tw: school shooting

I was wondering (for when you maybe feel like writing again) You could write Frank Castle x teen reader where she's maybe like his daughter figure (like amy) and he's out doing vigilante shit while she's in school and gets a text from her saying just " i love you" but there is a school shooting and she's shot and just full on panic for context i was in a school shooting a year or two back and got shot luckly the police and ambulance came shortly after but i just wish i had someone like Frank to calm me down or come save me 😅💗

If you dont wanna write this or feel comfortable because of this request my apologies im so sorry just ignore it if that s the case.

I hope you have a great day and thanks for reading anyway.

I've Got You

Summary : During a vigilante job, Frank gets a text from you and he knows something's wrong. He soon finds out what happened and was there for you. Warnings : *please dont read this if any of this makes you uncomfortable, do whats best for you and your mental health!!* mentions of a shooting, injuries, and death. heavy angst, hurt/comfort, fem reader (daughter figure) Notes : thank you for your kind words love <3 im so sorry youve had to go through something like that, no one deserves to go through that, but im happy youre here :) thank you for your request and i hope i did your idea justice <3

'I love you.'

Frank never knew three words from a text could scare him so much. The three words he had said to you when he came to terms with you becoming a daughter to him. The three words you two rarely had to say to each other since you showed your love for each other in different ways.

The three words you said on a whim before going to school that morning, because it felt right and you had a gut feeling to say it.

But now, Frank was terrified. You usually sent texts with all lowercase letter, with little to no punctuation, with acronyms and sayings that he didn't get.

He was in the middle of a stake out when his phone pinged. He quickly ditched his job and hopped in his truck, speeding towards your school and trying to text you at the same time.

'What's going on?'

'Text me back'

'Call me'

'Do something to let me know you're okay'

His stopped texting after a minute and tuned his radio to the police's frequency, a trick he needed for his jobs.

"Shots fired at the high school, two squads already on the scene-"

Shots fired.

Those two words echoed through Frank's mind, drowning out whatever the dispatcher was saying. He had heard those words millions of times between his marine years and his vigilante time, but this time was different. You were in danger and Frank wasn't there with you, ready to put himself between you and whatever threatened you.

Frank was still blocks away when he heard the dispatcher say, "students are starting to be escorted out, threat is cornered in the gym."

Frank took a deep breath. You could be outside already, waiting for him. He could see you clinging to your friends, all of you relieved to be alive. He could see you talking to whatever authority figure would talk to you, asking them if everyone was okay and who was still inside. You were very compassionate, ready to put yourself in danger to help others.

Something you picked up from Frank.

Minutes later, Frank pulled up to your school. He saw ambulances and many cop cars parked in front and around the sides. He usually would stay away from the cops, but he didn't care. He needed to see you alive and safe.

He parked his truck and quickly got out, jogging over to the crowd of crying students, teachers and parents. He scanned the crowd for you, but he didn't spot you. What if you weren't out yet? Were you still stuck inside? Were you hurt and couldn't get out?

What if he was too late?

"Can I borrow your phone to call my dad? I just want him to know I'm okay."

He heard your voice and spun around, his eyes immediately locking onto you. You were sitting in the back of an ambulance, talking to the first responder inside with you. You were holding your side and your leg was bouncing up and down quickly, a nervous habit of yours.

Frank called out your name and started towards you. You looked over at him and quickly got out of the ambulance, wincing slightly when you hit the ground. You jogged over to Frank, letting yourself break the dam of tears you had been holding back.

The moment Frank's arms wrapped around you, holding you as close as possible, you let a sob rack your body. You were too tired to hug him back, letting yourself sob in his arms. He started to rub soothing circles on your back, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head.

"Shh, it's okay, sweetheart. I've got you, I'm here."

His words made you cry more and wrap your arms around him, holding him tight to make sure he's real.

You were terrified and had no idea if you were going to see him again. You texted him 'I love you' to make sure he knew just in case, then you shut it off so it wouldn't light up or make noise. You then dropped your phone as you were running out of the building.

Frank pulled away from you, looking at you and wiping your tears away.

"I thought I lost you, kid. I-I thought you were still inside," he said, choking up a bit. He glanced down to your side, seeing the bandages wrapped around your stomach. "What happened?

You followed his gaze down, sniveling a bit as you took a deep breath. "I g-got hit, but th-they said it wasn't bad. I g-guess I got lucky."

Frank wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close to kiss your forehead.

"I love you," you murmured.

"I love you, too, kid," he replied, leading you to his truck.

[fl0ralsxgar]

Okay... So im going to make one post about this and one post only.

Ive been having issues in this community because of who i self ship with, thats a very vague way of putting it. Ive been made aware of a situation directly that has both equally caused me to get hate and ive noticed some mutuals of mine ignoring me more ever since it started. Under the cut since this is a long post

Okay just to start off first; clearly this must be a burner or something because going to this account directly, its the default tumblr blog theme with no posts or edited bio or anything. Im not going to respond to hate asks anymore, okay? I shouldnt in the first place but usually i tried to address them just a little, mostly wanting to understand why i was being sent it in the first place, my fault. But still. (I still blocked out the user just in case) just to note, this is not the only hate ive been sent in asks lately. I had to cut anon off again. But ig people will still find workarounds.

Okay. I DO NOT. want to cause ANY discomfort, jealousy, negative feelings, etc, just because of who i self ship with. Im sorry its made people uncomfortable because they share the same f/o but i do what i can to ensure they dont see me. I use the same exact tag on my self ship art and gushes and whatever, i dont interact with them, i have them BLOCKED or vice versa, hell i even try to not interact with their mutuals unless if weve already established being mutuals. I even have directly said- if anyone who follows me is mutuals with someone else who is uncomfortable with people interacting with me (or other daisuke self shippers in general) then you dont need to interact with me, because above all else im TRYING to consider the comfort of other people. I have never once tried to make people forcibly side with me, i have never said anyone else is invalid because of their self ship, i have never wanted anyone to be excluded and even, i encourage people to be mutuals with other daisuke self shippers as i can block said daisuke self shippers and they can be given my tag if need be because everyone deserves support. This has been going on for longer than it needs to tbh, i kept thinking i was the issue, i wanted to leave, but now im just .. upset. Whether its all from the same person or not, idk. But please know that above all else causing anyone to feel negatively because of me has never been my intention. Ive been extremely stressed out over this, feeling guilty and horrible, and sometimes aggravated.

Dont vague post about me if you know your followers and mutuals know who youre referring to. And even then, dont do it without first explicitly making it known that you dont condone hate being sent, but ultimately even if you do say that it wont always stop people. Please stop sending me asks trying to invalidate my self ship when ive never done that to anyone else. If youre mutuals with someone who is not okay with you interacting with me then respect those boundaries, because i am super tired of having to deal with the backlash of things im not even trying to cause. I want everyone to be comfortable, i want everyone to feel safe in their own space. But also i dont even feel comfortable in my own space now. I really dont wanna leave the community again tbh, ive made some close mutuals, i love supporting people, i love making my own self ship art and sharing it. But man, im tired!

Ive tried SO hard to keep this in private. I wanted it to be resolved without public notice. But even after i thought it was settled and resolved it hasnt stopped, and i dont even know if its from various people or not. Only very few people know more deeply whats been going on, and i hate that they were affected because of it too in ways. Whatever is going, just, i want it to chill out. Really. I have no ill will for anyone. If you see this and youre someone who has an issue with me you can dm me, ill talk it out with you.

I truly hope none of this comes off wrong, or aggressive or anything. I mean everything with as much respect as i can considering my current state. No matter what i dont condone harassment. I dont want anyone to be excluded. I want everyone to be supported and happy in their space. So please just know that, and if anything has come off wrong let me know. Maybe, im just not thinking the clearest so some things might seem rude or something. Forgive me if that the case.

Theres been ALOT going on the self ship community and i hope everyone will be okay. Dont worry about this if its too stressful, but if youre someone whose involved in this, i want to work things out. So. Thanks for reading if you did. Take care

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for giving a guy a time limit on texting me?

I (mid 20s F) met a guy (late 20s M) at a friend's party (we dont have any direct mutual friends. Hes friends with my friend's roommate's boyfriend) and we didnt talk very much while there but he offered to drive me home and i ended up going to his place with him instead. We talked (and kissed, etc.) and i slept over and he drove me home in the morning (which was really only like 4 hours later. It was late when we left the party and he had a very early (volunteer) shift). When he dropped me off he said we should go out to dinner sometime soon and i agreed. It was all very nice and he's incredibly attractive and just the kind of person im looking for.

About 2 days later (having not heard from him) i sent him a text basically saying id still like to go out to dinner with him & left it open for him to suggest a day. I didnt get a response. So about 4-5 days later i sent him a text along the lines of "if you didn't want to go out you could've just said so but i dont appreciate being ignored" and he responded immediately apologizing because he's had a lot going on with job hunting and he basically needs to get a new job within a month (he was laid off recently and lives alone so he could easily lose his house) and then once he's settled with that new job he'll hit me up but that he wasnt trying to ignore me. Ive been strung along before (very recently in fact, it's still a little raw) so in this conversation i told him i would've appreciated if he'd just said that rather than just being silent and he apologized again and then i said something along the lines of "i value my time and if i dont hear from you within a month then you can just forget about it". Which i mainly said to draw a line in the sand for myself. I want to make sure im not just endlessly waiting for a text that never comes because he really seemed so great, i know id (consciously or unconsciously) pass up other people and then get all lonely and depressed because im holding out for him. And a month is already a long time to pine anyway.

He didnt respond to that message (its been a week) and im worried it came across too harsh/bitchy/entitled. I meant it in like a "please check in with me at some point rather than just not texting me at all for the next month or two" way but i didnt want to explicitly say that because i just met this guy, we spent maybe two waking hours together, and i dont want to, like, Demand he take time out of job hunting to talk to me. But also, i feel like a text only takes a couple minutes and shouldn't be that big of a deal to ask for (he also texted while driving (driving driving. not at a red light) that night soo.. seems like he usually cares about responding to texts. i guess.)

So, am i the asshole for telling a man i just met that has one month to text me or im done, even though he's going through a very stressful time and is very busy?

What are these acronyms?

[xyfanficarchive]

labor of love

norman bates (psycho 1960) taxidermies you (romantic) (gender neutral)

or, the strange mentally ill erotic fantasy of someone cutting me open and just getting all up in my guts (Nicely,) has surfaced from the old deep deep deep dark days of my life and now has a place ig?

cw death and detailed gore; cw fucked up content in general but if you saw this title and are still reading further you already know whats up, you sicko ;) this is unedited word vomit style typed directly into the tumblr post editor, bcs it was very very slow today and this was better than ruminating myself into an actual mental breakdown at freaking work so this is for the absolute freaks and please dont come for my ass if anything in the getting taxidermied by norman bates fanfiction isnt accurate

in thinking about the potential endings for an extended norman and reader romance... i think it would be such an extraordinarily delicate balance to manage a relationship and try to help him while avoiding the shitshow of human rights violations that was psychiatric care in the 1960s. and maybe you could manage it but if you couldn't......... perhaps he was hiding the true extent of his illness, even well into your relationship, even after getting married. some act of repression, of course he didn't want to scare you away and he was so certain he would, and nobody had ever loved him like you did and nobody ever would again. but ya just can't bottle it up like that without building and building the pressure... and to have a relationship, to have sex with you and marry you and try to be happy WITHOUT HER, oh what a grievous transgression to the ignored Norma, cast away to the far recesses of his awareness, he's managed to hold onto control for this long but the situation will simply not do, and she'll just have to eliminate the disgusting little bitch who stole her son away from her, take the reins back in a moment of weakness, of fracture -

and norman wakes up in a place he doesn't remember, in clothes he doesn't remember, but he remembers the fight and the fevered pitch of your voice, the wide-eyed fear in your face, his mixed up train of thought derailing, crashing, and the sound of his mother screaming in his ears. not a hint of a thought of what happened enters his mind as he retraces the trail of blood through the house, empty and automatic and despairing but still not connecting the ideas together until he actually finds the mangled heap of your body slumped on the floor, with the sick metallic smell of clotting blood, a dizzying lake of deep red bigger than he'd ever seen before surrounding you.... it's so shattering that he is disconnected even from the impulse to vomit, though he drops to his knees and screams and screams and screams...... and his mother is nowhere around to help him, and you're gone gone gone, forever! forever! but no! he hears your voice in his ear, soft though it startled him: "no, you can still save me, don't you remember? you've done it already before, norman, save me, save me before it's too late...!"

you're still even warm by the time he brings you down to the basement, cradling you in his arms and staining the clean clothes mother had gone out of her way to dress him in, still limp dead weight, he puts you on the table where he does his taxidermy and kisses your lips with blood on your mouth, pets your hair, coos a billion apologies. "oh my love, i should have never ever let this happen! i promised myself i would never let this happen to you that i would never let her hurt you im sorry im sorry im sorry i tried i tried!!" screwing his eyes shut at your body in front of him, crying tears that dripped onto your skin. and you shush him, your voice comes like a bell calling him in the darkness "i love you norman, i forgive you, but you must work fast now, you have to work fast to revive me!" he opens his eyes, far gone, nods fervently into your lifeless face, knowing that this would be very hard, and very easy, in that he had done it dozens of times before but not on this scale and not this fresh. he strokes the soft skin of your cheek, flits over to bring his tool kit near and then strips your body bare to begin his work - but he already has to stop, go up to the linen closet to bring towels and a bucket of water to clean the blood and gore off your skin, revealing in detail every grisly angry slash, stab, loose flap of skin that should still be all connected, should be, norman cries, with only an extremely dim awareness that it was his own hands that wrought this upon you. but he would fix it, he would suture your lovely flesh back together last, after the bulk of the work was done.

it takes significant effort to cut you with the same blade that he had cut birds and other small creatures with but he made it through all the layers of skin and fat and muscle, cut flaps to splay your belly open for easy access. and the inside of your body. explodes with colour and detail that he had never seen on this scale before. your insides were all shining red, and translucent membranous pink, with lipid yellows, greenish and brownish hues, pearlescent white fascia and winding lines of purple-blue connecting everything. and then he trembles all over seeing it his hands shaking violently, already slick with blood, as they approach the opening, and you comfort him, sweetly in his ear, "calm now, my love, i'm in good hands, i know i am, but you need to stop shaking, you need to be gentle." "i know, im just scared. i'm sorry, i'm so sorry..." "i trust you, norman." he steeled his nerves and then slips his hands oh so, so gingerly into the wet, the slick and smooth mess, the winding intestines, cold on the surface from contact with the air but still warm underneath, and he only loves you more and more and more that you trust him like this, that you let him do this to you, putting your faith in him to revive you.

he was struck by the intimacy of it, he was so close, closer than anyone else in the world had been to you, even closer than sex, up to his forearms in your body cavity, with all the beautiful unseen parts that had sustained your living body for so long, all those years........ you would have to learn a new kind of life now, with him. he scoops the intestines, they spill over the sides onto the table, attached at either end, and he realized he would have no place to actually put any of this once he removed it, he took the bucket with red translucent water and tipped it over into the floor drain. then, bringing it near, cuts your entire digestive tract free, placing it gently in the bucket. looking down at the heap inside, he feels a sheen of sweat on his forehead, and reached up to wipe it with the bloodied back of his arm. then, the pancreas, the kidneys and bladder, the liver (some cultures thought the liver was the seat of human love, he thinks), everything is so connected, tubes and gossamer-thin tissues that he has to dissect to separate the parts out. he has to reach underneath your ribcage to cut your lungs free, they sink in and deflate more as he works, and puts them too on top of the rest of your organs. then, last, your heart - he hesitates, and trembles, feeling the imperative to be especially delicate now, as if the muscle might disintegrate under his touch. but he feels around, remembering the anatomy diagram of the heart he'd learned so many many years ago, cuts free the three arteries connected to the aorta, the pulmonary vessels, both venae cavae, and suddenly he is holding the fist-sized organ free in his hand. he set his knife to the side and then reached in again, cradling the muscle in both of his broad palms as he brought it out into the light, letting out a shuddering breath - your heart! oh it was your actual heart, the heart that loved him, the heart that once beat in your chest, that he listened to countless nights to soothe himself, pressing his ear to your sternum. he sees the fatal gash the knife made, he turns his head and leans his ear in, though he knows it's silent anyways he almost starts to sob, "keep it," you say, and he startles "keep it, my love, it's yours, it was always yours" and he looks up into the ceiling "really? are you certain?" forgetting the anguish, and he feels your confirmation, your permission, as the warmth of your love. then, looks down at the deep red knot of muscle, presses a tender kiss there, and holds it to his chest, mirroring his own living heart. with reverence, he sets it on the table in his view and continues on -

it's best practice to remove the bulk of the skeletal muscle, too, and so he opens the skin on the arms that held him close, the legs and thighs that he'd had bliss between, and frees the long corded masses - the ones in the limbs come out of the body clean and compartmentalized, attached to the bone really only by two tendons on either end, separating easily from each other. this was by chance one of the largest buckets he had in the house but now it was full top with all your externalized insides, and the slippery smooth remainder of your muscles went to the floor - it was only a short distance to the furnace anyways, and all of this would have to go to the furnace, into the fire, you wouldn't be needing them anymore, and everything would have to be clean, clean, clean after. and now your body was ready for treating with the chemicals - there might not be enough, but it would have to do - and the sawdust which only seemed to come in large quantities, and it's easy, easy, art to craft the contours of your body that he learned, he knows from memory. he closes with care the long incisions he had made, making the flesh edges meet neatly all down the length of your limbs, up the i-shape he made on your abdomen and then, the awful wounds, slashes and gashes all over he sutures at last with a lingering feeling of sorrow, that dissipates when, finally cutting the last thread, he sees the miracle of life bloom forth on your face out from the monochrome of death "norman!" you smiled, with recognition in your eyes from where your head was limply rolled to the side

he smiled back at you, euphoria like a thrill of electricity tingling through his body as he reached out to cup your face - of course the fact he didn't have a sufficient amount of preservatives and anything didn't matter because it had little to do with the process of reviving anyways. it was all in the effort itself, in the way he marked his own soul in order to remake you and have you forever, it was in that labor of love where the actual transformation was made. he stroked his thumbs on your cheekbones, leaning over you and sobbing out "yes, yes, yes, yes, it's me, i'm here!!"

"you did it, i knew you could, i knew you would save me, norman."

"i could do anything for you, i would do anything for you!"

"i'm so cold now down here in the basement, i feel so weak and exhausted after everything... would you please help me get dressed?"

your bloody clothes were all heaped on the floor and he sniffled, blinking the tears from his eyes. "oh, those are all completely ruined..... I'm sorry... I'll take you up to the bedroom now, okay? and we'll get you into pajamas, and then you can just sleep for however long you need." and you would need the sleep - it was a strange and difficult new life to adjust to, being so dependent on him now for so many things, and you would never be able to leave the house anymore, which would likely be as hard for you as it was at first for his mother. but might get easier for you faster, he thought, as you had both found many more interesting things to do inside than he and his mother ever had in nearly thirty years until you came along. he kisses you on the forehead, and gently lets your head down, before he shifts his arms underneath you and scoops you up in a bridal carry, the whole weight of you in his arms as he carries you up the stairs to the main floor, then turned, climbing up and up again

"i was so scared when she killed me, Norman." Your voice makes his lip tremble as he looks down into your eyes, "but I know i'm safe now with you."

"Yes, you're safe here with me... You'll be safe here with me forever..."

He can feel the vibration of love coming off you, that keen resonation, it was always always there though he never managed to put it to its name, his heart absolutely swells with the sensation, love, pure ecstatic love! you were his one love and the most precious thing he had ever encountered in his life and now he could keep you safe from everything, forever, with him! oh, it didn't work out as nice for you as if it has never happened in the first place, but he could feel a new tension and energy, a precipice on which he was looking out at a new and encompassing depth of your bond, of your relationship, and he only had to dive in with you. he was almost even excited to start this new and beautiful era of your life together.

[itsdappleagain]

i know csweekly is on hold now, but I still have to catch up on The Luchadora Tango Caper, so here it is!!

Season 3 is maybe my least favorite season out of any of them, but I still love it, so I'm really excited to get into this!

Notes under the cut as always and please ignore the fact that I'm a month late on this thx

NEW CASTLE!!! NEW CASTLE YAYYY

sometimes I think this whole series is Maelstrom just talking about shit for like 14 hours

cleo sympathizing with guys in skirts <3 she knows ur struggle boys

love how they slapped up a giant glowing green world map and copper sulfate burning chandeliers before they put in insulation or heat

brunt, girl, calm down. they were just doing their evil minion bagpipe job

british on british violence

that was such a cute nod when this season first dropped. haha theres been no sign of her all summer because of the hiatus you are so clever

they rlly thought they had something with the turn them against each other thing. i cant believe they thought they tvy7 rating would let shadowsan and carmen kill each other 🙄

"carmen is DEAD" (cheery tango music)

i mean it works because we know hes wrong and stupid but like

no offense but the tango dancers are animated in a way that is reminiscent of a kid manually moving their barbie dolls legs to make them walk

our girl <3

tell me why dropping 200 feet onto the top of the metal detector was more sneaky than literally anything else she could have done

ok. yes. but the fact she is robbing it does not negate the fact that she will be on the news for breaking into a bank dsjfsdghfkdsa

1021 is the number on the box- could it mean something? in a strictly doylist sense. october 21st doesn't seem to have any significant holidays...I can't find anything, might just be a random number set.

good god the "i...have his eyes." hits me like a truck every time

gina pulled it out with the voice acting in this one

she WAS a very cute baby

"another" link girl what else has there been you should be ecstatic

ayyy its the character literally everyone except spintrap-stan and amaryllis solely remember for being voiced by dante basco

i love how snarky carmen immediately gets. if he knows her name and what she looks like, obviously he's an operative, so she gets to have a little fun in immediately declining him while still gaining valuable information, almost immediately, about who he is and what his talent will be

everyone is very stretched today

this is not my favorite fight scene honestly (at least until flytrap gets here. dont even get me started on her fighting style im in love with it) because its literally just like ooh. he kicks. she dodges. wow. they really do try with the tango parallels but idk

wow!! other people can kick too??? who knew

she protected the face

cutely runs into oncoming traffic

those cars were not even slowing down girl they were just like HONK MOVE OR DIE

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS FLYTRAP MY GIRL

okay mini rant incoming i already did a post on this like a billion years ago but flytrap is one of my favorites because in my opinion she and paper star are the most dangerous villains we ever see in the show. let me. try to find that post actually

yeah here it is

flytrap is also so hot and has the same va as luz so she's just top tier. idk if the team put half the episode budget into celebrity voice actors and thats why we only got 5 episodes but you know what

love how carmen is literally stopping her attempts to get free to banter. girl. stop

shadowsan <3

love how they do not even bother showing the fight they just get their asses handed to them

why didnt they start in veracruz just asking

not the table

ok guys. you can stop with the tango thing now. its okay

that little conversation between ivy and shadowsan is so good

comrades??? sir its not the cold war

article from 17 years ago, thank you for that easy to understand slang

carmen plot armored her way out of getting her skull smashed in on that train so hard that she made maelstrom stupid

its canon both in and outside of the show that color theory is so prevalent that any sort of red at all immediately signals carmen

the colors are so beautiful in this scene. carmen doesnt have her coat or jacket on, everythings just a little desaturated as she searches

THE ACME GANG <3333

not the finger guns and glasses wheeze hes such a loser i love him

THE FORESHADOWING TO EGYPT WITH THE PYRAMIDS ON HER LAPTOP!!!!

love how all we get of julia this season is her being pissed off and then leaving

he was such an asshole for closing her laptop why did he do that 😭

has carmen just been ignoring vile missions for the last season of the year to research her mom or

girlie is so sad about everything

ah yes, the door, the thing you wish to have opened, the best place to lean your full body against after you knock,

i'M SOrry. did you NOT attend a school for THIEVES

HSDGGDG HEY. just broke into your house. im your long lost daughter

i love how she goes DONT TOUCH ANYTHING and then immediately drags her whole arm across the wall and cabinet

also her face when she sees the masks is perfect

okay be honest how many of you have replayed carmen saying maybe mommy at least once. who. raise your hands

shes sooo buff

love how everyone is taking this so seriously and then carmen is just completely apathetic about anything thats going on

dont deadname lupe, carmen

her hair catching a gust of indoor wind for the sole purpose of making her look sick as hell in her intro card is so iconic

as ivy absolutely obliterating zack in the foreground is so fucking funny

she got that "EH EH EH." titter of "HEY NO. DONT YOU DO THAT" down scary well

devineaux strutting im sobbing. julia was doing SO well and then she got paired with devineaux AGAIN

that cab driver looks so concerned about the hulking texan in his backseat

remember when the trailer dropped and we thought those roses were for julia. good times

everyone narrowly avoiding each other as they pull in

you just know ivy smacked zack when he protested to decoy time hdsafhadsg

gotta say the "EH?" while getsuring to the trophies is fucking hilarious. obviously julia knows she wouldnt go after those but its so funny

i do love the way carmen just shrinks any time brunt appears. she is soooo traumatized

VAMOOSE EL MASKO SHES SO ACCURATREIUSDHKFSKHFD SHES EXACTLY WHAT MIDDLE AGED AMERICAN SOUTHERNERS SOUND LIKE

LUPE IS SO FUCKING COOL

devineaux showcasing his braincells for a spilt second this episode

ah, so begins the not a good time mantra

devineaux getting absolutely decimated because he thinks coach brunt thinks hes handsome is so funny

the referee watching two apparent civilians enter the ring: 🙂

carmen is so funny here. she uncuffs herself and then just leaves devineaux to die like fuck his ass he can get smooshed

carmen getting increasingly mad at devineaux while she drags him places is my favorite part of the episode

also, either carmen got stronger or devineaux had a few bouts of crazed research where he didnt eat, but she can drag him easily now as opposed to when she was struggling back at the trap in poitiers

they put this shot in the trailer and without context it just looked like carmen was standing there glaring at brunt menacingly

the cat burglar <3

worst fucking ref on the planet i love him

was carmen stopping to listen to julia's voice i would like to think so

ah the devineaux and cars gag. i mean, to be fair, it wasnt his fault this time

starts beatboxing

carmen really just dumped her whole life story on lupe thats so funny. girlie started the day preparing for a match, got her house broken into, and then ended the day learning about a global crime syndicate

they really ended s2 going THE NEXT SEASON WILL FOCUS ON CARMENS MOM and then started s3 going well actually um okay so

theres our transition sentence

lupe's yellow and blue palette btw!! cs color theory i love you

lupe is more of a mom than carlotta ever gets to be thats sad honestly

carmens little smile ough

here is a shot that very succinctly illustrates the dynamics in the coming seasons. the three at the table stand strong- always have. roundy is basically a footnote no one cares about him and then brunt...brunt is sort of on the edge. this carries over all the way into s4 when malestrom tries to drown her

oh my god i forgot about the weird halloween thing the faculty has going on this season i love it

my analysis is right in time for spooky season >:) halloween IS nearly upon us!!!

OKAY well my thoughts on the luchadora tango caper...pretty good. honestly its kind of net zero information because we introduce the premise of finding carmens mom and then immediately abandon it but it sets up um....well....it sets up....what does it set up

anyway- not my favorite episode, even though lupe is fucking awesome. i think it suffers a little from deviating from that classic caper structure and jumping around, but it does its job as an introductory episode.

until we return, sayonara, mon amigos!

[visionthefox]

I apologize for replying really late, I was busy with some stuff! And I understand! Its fine!

Basically, sun was laying on the couch because new moon forced him to take a break, just to see "moon" saying:"finally, I didn't think he would actually go to sleep so I could have control. Sun was- well, confused af- and well, he tried listening to him to understand what was happening- and "moon" said smt like:"of course you're chattering in your sleep. How about YOU SHUT UP and let me have control?" (I assume he was talking to sun when they havent yet seperated, because he was talking and looking at the ground.) so sun got up to see what was happening while "moon" continued saying:" let me have control of this body for 5 MINUTES."

And sun was like:" dont you already have your own body-?", "moon" quickly replied, "I WISH I HAD, BECAUSE YOU ARE ABLE TO DO STUFF, YOURE THE LIKEABLE ONE EVEN THOUGH YOURE THE MISTAKE" so sun was like:"excuse me?" while "moon", just said:"oh, did I strike a nerve?"

sun in confusion replied:"where did this come from?" though, "moon" said, "maybe from the fact that I NEVER LOVED YOU" (I found this part confusing, since og moon wouldn't think that, I think atleast. Sure, they had argurments and moon was like, if im gonna be honest, moon was abusive in different ways. I could make a whole list on why he is abusive. Though, he still seemed to like.. Care despite the abuse he has done? He confuses me so not sure) "Moon" continued his well, speech I suppose? By saying that he never cared, that all he wanted was to get away. Sun was.. Well, still confused telling "moon" he was just laying on the couch and didn't do anything. But "moon" said:"if you didnt do anything why did you feel like you needed to do everything? Why did you feel like you needed to do EVERYTHING in your miniscule little power to help me when you actually made it worse?"

then "moon" started saying how its suns fault on how he lost his memories, basically blaming him. Saying:"because you toyed with magic. Because you couldn't control yourself. Because you got ANGRY" while sun just quietly said:"what.. This is impossible.." realizing its just an hallucination like bloodmoon, and "moon" straight up said:"does it matter if im real?" and just started putting sun down like he always did. So sun started to rant on how he gets that hes not good as moon and all, but that it doesn't mean hes a mistake. Then "moon" dissapeared.what happend next? Suns hallucination of bloodmoon showed up.

how fun! /sarc

I wont go too deep in this part because then I would be writing a paragraph but basically, bloodmoon started putting sun down just like his hallucination of old moon and sun said that he would have loved to have another sibling but that bloodmoon couldn't be helped or smt like that. After some minutes bloodmoon goes away and sun is left alone, he goes into the castle thingy, idk what to call it, but basically where the rooms are, moons room and suns+plus the playhouse earth used to sleep in and he said:"I didn't enjoy killing them. I didn't enjoy hurting them. I know that- I know that moons not like that either, I just-.. What do I do..? How do I do.. They always keep coming back and talking to me about ALL THIS CRAP! moons different, I never saw him before and now hes just...sometimes I wish I was dead. Atleast MOON got a restart sort of.. I- I still HAVE TO KEEP LIVING WITH THIS! " he well, he started making noises like he was crying,probably trying to stop himself from that. And the last thing he said was:" im cleaning the barrels again.. Its the last thing that keeps me busy nowadays..Its the last thing that keeps me busy nowadays.." so basically, sun is using cleaning as a coping mechanism, because it keeps his MIND busy. And im guessing "og moon" is like, suns instrutive moon speaking because sun does blame himself and will never be free from the guilt.

If there are any spelling mistakes, please ignore them because I don't feel like fixing them and I'm in a bad mood 😅

it took me like 2 minutes to understand this ask sdsadsad I was sooo lost like - did they send me a first part? - then as I read I got it, this is from the show ! alas.. I can see this is just another emotional ep. I .. dont like the fact Sun carry this trauma and stress around, because it means things only got worse, he is now actually alone, at least Lunar would have listented to him, but now? Earth is not aware of the past, (even if! she looked at the whole vids, is not the same as livin the moment- plus im sure her small chip of a brain wont get it(im so mean)) and the new Moon, even if informed of the past, seems to not be aware of how to even relate to Sun, for what I get from your resume! Sun is alone to deal with this, because, who can understand him? who can actually save him? (Monty but the show wont let that happend-) and.. ehh.. idk, seems to odd, too cruel for no reason other that entretaiment, because, why else make a poor robot deal with two dumbass who cant help? meanwhile there is one last robot with braincells, but he's dealing with his own issues.. like dont get me wrong, I love me some pain, I love some cruel stories with Sun, or Moon even! I love to see him in dispair when I know there is some sense to that, the cruel reality of being just a robot, the uncaring humans around, I get it and I love it tho this show.. the lack of any sense in anything makes this just a cruel show of a suffering puppet for us to see.. like is Sun tied up to the plex? cant he just leave like Lunar? why not having actual vacation now that Earth is supposed to take his place? why not be honest to his "new family" ? or right, they are just strangers to him now, how... fun..? really now, his issue actually can be fixed, Monty is still walking around! and Sun damn knows the gator worked with Moon for years for a good reason!so why not go with him? or right "he doesnt like him" blah blah.. eh amma cut my rant here haha - thanks for your time <3

[ittybxttykxttytxtty]

oh boyo, based on the comments i've seen...i am nervous 😄

Eventually he’d finally decided that he would seek your forgiveness for how awful he’d treated you, wanting to prove just how serious he was about being there for the both of you. And he was not going to give up until he’d somehow managed it. Until he proved himself to you.

MY BOY IS LEARNING. HE IS LEARNING. I LOVE HOW THIS IS THE INTRO. YES, IM IGNORING THE GRUMPY BROODING MOOD HE IS IN. WHAT MATTERS MOST IS HE KNOWS HE DONE FUCKED UP 😭😭😭 I AM SO PROUD.

But yet somehow as he stepped into the office and heard both Karen and Foggy working at their desks, he couldn’t stop that bit of bitter anger that suddenly burned white hot in his stomach.

okay, i was wrong. he's back on his bullshit again

And yet neither of them had said a thing.

because they have their priorities straight, matthew. we all cant be irresponsible like you. 🙄

This wasn't on Foggy or Karen, he reminded himself.

okay, thats an improvement. this is good. keep that in mind.

Of course he knew they had a point, he wasn’t that much of an asshole, but that didn’t stop him from being angry that he’d been walking around this office entirely oblivious while both of them knew what was really going on.

oh no! its the consequences of his own actions! 😮 i wonder why they knew and you didnt. i wonder why it took so long. really, i do. sarcasm

“I mean,” Karen began cautiously, “can you blame her?”

a queen is about to start spitting facts 😌✨ go ahead, baby. i'll hold your earrings for you 😌✨

IM NOT GONNA PUT WHAT KAREN SAID HERE BECAUSE ITS LIKE BEATING A DEAD HORSE, I HAVE NOTHING TO ADD. SHE SAID WHAT I'VE BEEN THINKING SINCE DAY ONE. WHAT SHE SAID IS FACTS, TRUTHS, AND GOSPEL. SO, INSTEAD HERE'S MY FAVE PICTURE(s) OF MS. KAREN PAGE.

i had to do it to em, bois #kastle 5ever

“I would never . And I will do everything in my power to get her to understand that.”

thats a start, das good. please keep moving forward. i want the three of you to be happy 🥺💕 i want lil devil to have a mama and a papa that loves them very much (imagine if it turned out to be twins or smt tho 😂...unless 👀)

"Cause I think you've got some work to do, buddy."

the weather and the truth, coming to you live from Foggy Nelson 😌✨

But after the past couple of nights, stopping by your apartment was all he ever seemed compelled to do.

thats right, buddy. time to go learn and yearn 😌

He'd listened to that fluttering heartbeat for quite a long while, having to eventually tear himself away from it only when he overheard someone screaming for help in the city.

this is nyc, it'll be fine. if they die, just press f to pay respect 💀

Too little, too late , the bitter words of the Devil reminded him.

omg, wtf is wrong with you. dont you dare call Jojo the devil

It was almost too much for Matt to bear.

okay okay oh no, its hurting again. 😭😭😭

Because of his own mistakes, his inability to prioritize the different parts of his lives. Because he should have just listened to you when you’d asked him to stay.

i mean, its the truth. it hurts but im having fun reading matt's self made problems...i think 🥲

im not, it hurts to see him cry...i cant

He honestly didn’t think he could handle hearing you tell him yet again that he wasn’t wanted. That he had nothing to offer. That there was nothing here for him.

omfg, no. dont put words into my mouth put something else in it. wtf. no. oh no oh no oh no 😭😭😭 YOU ARE WANTED. YOU ARE LOVED. ITS YOU WHO CANT SEE THAT. WE'RE ALL JUST WAITING. PLEASE.

It wasn’t until he heard a few droplets land on the roof beside his fist that he realized he’d been crying.

omg omg omg, bella i cannot cry i already did my night time routine. castar oil and everything. omg.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,”

agsgsgsh 😭😭😭😭 bella...

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. Talked to you like that. And I–I certainly shouldn’t have left you when you’d needed me.��

beLLAaaaa 😭😭😭😭

“I should’ve been better. You deserved better. But I’ll fix it. I swear to you, I will fix it.”

BELLLLLLLLLLLAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭

“Hopefully you get your father’s intelligence,” you continued on. “He’s a smart man, even if he’s stubborn and makes absolutely terrible decisions sometimes.”

To be welcomed back into your life, even just a little bit, so that he could prove himself.

you'll prove yourself, matthew. you're an idiot but your our no. 1 idiot...with a heart. 😭😭💕 i believe in you.

A blue plush narwhal with a gold horn sat smiling back at you. One that hadn’t been there earlier.

agfsfsggsg, HE BOUGHT A NARWHAL PLUSHIE. IDFC, HOW. i actually do care, please include how he bought one in the next chapter. id give you a nickel, a napkin, and a chip

Matt must have been nearby, eavesdropping on the conversation you were having.

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

It may not have been a grand gesture, but it was a gesture that clearly meant something. But what exactly still remained to be seen.

he'll redeem himself, you'll see 🥺 i might bully matthew all the time when commenting but i do love him and ik that he'll make this right. 🥺 i believe in him 🥺💕 this is the only time i'll say this tho, i have a reputation to uphold. 😭😭

After thots:

- will never read this after doing my night time routine. i learned my lesson, i thought i was strong. i wasnt.

- matt is learning, very slowly...but its progress and i am proud. ik its too early to say that all is beginning to heal, so i'll celebrate in the final chapter instead. 🥲

- karen and nelson is still working overtime, please pay them their dues. name the child and future children after them, please and thank you 💕

- istg, the rooftop scene just about killed me. i couldnt. straight up wanted to record myself screaming and post it here instead of my comments

- the whole chapter is a healing fic after the fight from the last chapter....and i love that for us all 🥹

i can now sleep, peacefully 🥲 thank you for the bedtime story 💕

Seeking Forgiveness [Part Six]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader Word Count: 3.5k

[Full summary and installment list for this series can be found here.]

Warnings/tags: 18+ contains angst, emotional hurt, delayed comfort, pregnant Reader

a/n: Another angsty and sad installment, but hey there's finally an update for this fic! There's also some POV switches in this one but it should be obvious. Feedback is always appreciated!

Matt hadn’t meant to show up at the office in such a foul mood that Friday morning. That wasn’t his intention. He’d gone through a multitude of emotions last night, barely getting any sleep after he’d stopped by your apartment and found out that you were pregnant. Eventually he’d finally decided that he would seek your forgiveness for how awful he’d treated you, wanting to prove just how serious he was about being there for the both of you. And he was not going to give up until he’d somehow managed it. Until he proved himself to you. With a focused calm after that silent vow, he’d put back his apartment after the destructive mess he’d made of it in his self-loathing fury.

But yet somehow as he stepped into the office and heard both Karen and Foggy working at their desks, he couldn’t stop that bit of bitter anger that suddenly burned white hot in his stomach. Because they both had to have known that you were pregnant this whole time. He knew Karen had been spending time with you, and he figured Foggy’s rage at him back on Monday morning had to have been due to him finding out the truth, too. And yet neither of them had said a thing.

Feeling irrationally angry, Matt slammed the door harshly behind himself before roughly storming his way to his office. He heard the way both Foggy and Karen had glanced up from their desks at his loud entrance, probably exchanging a look with each other about his bad mood. 

Dropping his briefcase onto his desk in his frustration, Matt folded up his cane before he also slammed that onto his desk. Closing his eyes, he blew out a rough breath, his hands aggravatedly readjusting his tie.

This wasn't on Foggy or Karen, he reminded himself. This was between the two of you. What had happened was due to his actions. You were allowed to be friends with them still, allowed to have confided in them. Even if it hurt him to be the last to know.

But as much as Matt tried hard to calm himself down and not lash out, ultimately his anger won out.

Swiftly turning on his heel, Matt stormed back out of his office, his teeth grinding together. Hands rising to roughly grip his hips, he couldn’t fight the near growl in his voice when he spoke.

“Both of you knew, didn’t you?” he called out into the office. “That she was pregnant? With my child?”

He heard Foggy sigh, gradually sliding his chair back and making his way around his desk before exiting his office. Karen hesitated for a moment, running her fingers through her hair before she slowly rose from her desk, too. Both of them entered the main room of the office a moment later, focusing on Matt.

“So you finally spoke with her?” Foggy asked.

“Yeah,” Matt snapped. “I did. Turns out she’s pregnant. But you both knew that, didn’t you? Before I even did?”

“Yes,” Karen replied. “Wasn’t exactly my place to tell you that, though.”

“She was planning to tell you herself, Matt,” Foggy added. “That was her place to do so, not ours. I know you know that.”

Matt’s lips thinned out in irritation. Of course he knew they had a point, he wasn’t that much of an asshole, but that didn’t stop him from being angry that he’d been walking around this office entirely oblivious while both of them knew what was really going on. While both of them knew he was going to be a father.

“I…take it the talk didn’t go so well?” Foggy asked carefully.

Matt’s eyes narrowed back at him behind his lenses. “No, Fog, it didn’t,” he answered. “She told me to leave. Told me she was raising our child by herself, even after I practically begged her to let me be a part of things with her.”

“I mean,” Karen began cautiously, “can you blame her?”

Matt’s head darted in the direction of Karen’s voice. He heard the way she crossed her arms over her chest and leant up against the doorframe of her office. His eyes narrowed even further at her words.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked sharply.

“It means that you’ve been throwing yourself out there as Daredevil for so long now, Matt,” Karen explained. “You don’t even think about the consequences of it anymore. You were supposed to be in a committed relationship with her. And things had been going well between you both, but in the entirety of your relationship, nothing crazy had been happening in Hell’s Kitchen until just recently. And then you prioritized that over her,” Karen continued. “So can you blame her for not wanting you around for this? For not wanting the added stress of wondering if you’re actually going to show up for her when you say you will? For not wanting to wonder if she even matters to you? If you’re even going to be any help to her when she needs it?”

“Well, I–”

“Because you have absolutely no idea what she’s been going through for the past few weeks,” Karen barreled over Matt. “The fear and the loneliness she’s been feeling. Struggling with uncomfortable pregnancy symptoms while trying to take care of herself all on her own. She’s been in this alone for weeks now, Matt. Because you couldn’t have just put her first for a single damn minute and listen to her the other week when she begged you .” 

Matt stood there dumbfounded when Karen finally finished, his mouth falling open as his hands dropped from his hips, coming to hang loosely at his sides. In all his anger at himself since finding out that you were pregnant last night, he admittedly hadn’t thought too much about what you’d been going through alone. Sure, he figured you were scared, he’d certainly thought about that last night–cried over it repeatedly–but he hadn’t thought about what you must be feeling from pregnancy on top of all of that. The memory of you having been sick last night surfaced in his mind and guilt burned through him, dissipating the anger within him immediately.

“She thinks you wouldn’t want to be a father,” Foggy added softly. “That you’d care more about the city and Daredevil than raising a child.”

Matt shook his head firmly, a pain hitting him hard in the chest at Foggy’s words. You’d said that to him last night, too, but it still hurt to hear.

“That’s not true,” he breathed out, still shaking his head. “Nothing could ever be more important to me than my own family. Nothing . Especially because I never–” the words caught in his throat, his eyes closing sharply, “–I never really had one. And I wouldn’t–wouldn’t do the same to my own child. Wouldn’t have them growing up feeling like I ever abandoned them. Because I wouldn’t ,” he nearly snarled out. “I would never . And I will do everything in my power to get her to understand that.”

"I believe you," Foggy said.

The words caught Matt off guard, his head tilting to the side as he heard the truth in Foggy’s heartbeat. 

"I know you, man," Foggy continued. "I know how difficult it was for you not having your family once your dad passed. We talked about it often at Columbia. So I believe you."

Matt felt his throat closing up with emotion at his friend’s words. Tears were brimming in his eyes behind his glasses and he blinked them back, not wanting to cry in front of Foggy and Karen.

"For what it's worth, I do, too," Karen added gently. "And we have both told her that. But honestly? You do have some changes to make, Matt. You need to learn balance if you're ever going to make things work. Because it's not Foggy and I that you need to convince."

"You're right," Matt readily agreed, fighting to keep his voice steady. "You're right, I do. And I will prove to her that she can depend on me. That I want to be in this with her."

"Good," Foggy firmly replied. "Cause I think you've got some work to do, buddy."

Matt kneeled down on the roof of your building, hunching over and turning an ear towards your apartment below so he could listen in better. He'd passed by here earlier when he'd first gone out tonight as Daredevil, which was something he had been avoiding ever since the breakup. He hadn't wanted to catch so much as a single beat of your heart, afraid the sound alone would shatter him to pieces, only reminding himself how much he missed you. But after the past couple of nights, stopping by your apartment was all he ever seemed compelled to do. 

Earlier when he stopped by you'd been curled up on your couch, quietly watching some of those shows he knew you liked. He'd noticed you were tired, close to drifting out of consciousness as you lay there focused on the television. He could hear the exhaustion in your body and the countless times you'd yawned. He'd been itching to hop down onto your fire escape and slip through the window as he listened, desperate to peel off his suit and hold you on the couch like he used to. To let you drift to sleep in his arms while he buried his nose into your hair, breathing in the scent of you.

He'd focused on the baby, too. He'd listened to that fluttering heartbeat for quite a long while, having to eventually tear himself away from it only when he overheard someone screaming for help in the city. He hadn't wanted to go, deluding himself into feeling like he was there with you both if he focused hard enough. But ultimately you both were safe inside that apartment and somewhere in the city someone else needed his help.

But he'd come back one last time before he planned to head home for the night and try to sleep because he'd heard you up and about in your apartment. He knew it was early in the morning and he'd been curious, wondering if you were alright. Because you should have been asleep at this point. 

So he had settled on the roof, and now he heard you rummaging around your kitchen. A loud rumble of hunger from your stomach met his ears and he understood immediately why you were awake–you were hungry. Making something to eat in the middle of the night. 

His shoulders sagged as he placed a gloved hand to the floor of the roof as if that would somehow bring him closer to you. He'd have made you anything you asked. Would have ordered you whatever you wanted, any time of the night. 

He'd have done anything for you. 

Too little, too late , the bitter words of the Devil reminded him. 

"Yeah, I know, I'm going as fast as I can," he heard you say. "Don't forget you're the one who woke me from a dead sleep at two in the morning wanting a grilled cheese. So you'll just need to be patient cause I am not awake, and that weird hunger-nausea is not helping.”

A smile slowly pulled Matt’s lips upwards under the mask as he listened in. You were talking to the baby, your tone a mix of tired, affectionate, and frustrated. He wondered how often you did that. This was the first time he’d stopped by and overheard you.

"Would be a lot easier if you craved things like an apple," you continued, heating the pan. "You know how much work it takes to prep an apple? None, my little devil."

Matt's hand curled into a fist at those three words you'd spoken so lovingly from your lips. My little devil . You used to call him that when he'd make his way back to you at night, running your fingers so delicately across cheek, just beneath his mask, as you inspected him for injuries. 

Now you were calling the baby that? It was almost too much for Matt to bear. Sitting on the roof, bent in half over his knees, he became very aware of how much he wasn't quite a part of any of this with you. How separate he felt from you and his own child growing within you. Because of his own mistakes, his inability to prioritize the different parts of his lives. Because he should have just listened to you when you’d asked him to stay.

The burn of tears unexpectedly hit him fast and hard, his heart thumping heavily in his chest. What he wouldn’t give to slip through your window right now and pull you into a kiss, to wrap you in his arms and just hold you. He’d love nothing more than to settle you on the couch and make you the best damn grilled cheese you’d ever had. Afterwards, he'd happily clean up the kitchen and take you back to your bed, curling himself around you and falling asleep. You'd always fit so perfectly in his arms.

But you’d probably have yelled at him if he tried to step foot into your apartment again to help. He honestly didn’t think he could handle hearing you tell him yet again that he wasn’t wanted. That he had nothing to offer. That there was nothing here for him. Because that part wasn’t remotely true–you and that unborn child meant more to him than you clearly knew. 

“I don’t understand how this smells like the best thing in the world right now,” you said to your belly, Matt’s ears picking up on the way you were rubbing a hand across it. “Yet coffee makes me want to throw up. I have never been a grilled cheese person. Your dad can attest to that.”

It wasn’t until he heard a few droplets land on the roof beside his fist that he realized he’d been crying. His tears had somehow managed to slide out beneath his mask as he’d been listening in to you making your late night snack. His throat had felt like it was closing up the second you’d mentioned him. And the emotions that stirred awake inside of him when you’d referred to him as dad were strong and foreign to him. 

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he croaked out between his tears. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. Talked to you like that. And I–I certainly shouldn’t have left you when you’d needed me.” He slammed his fist against the roof, grimacing at the force as his knuckles stung beneath his gloves. “I should’ve been better. You deserved better. But I’ll fix it. I swear to you, I will fix it.”

“Wonder who you’ll take after more,” you mused softly, entirely oblivious to Matt sitting on the roof of your apartment building listening in. “Me or your dad.”

Raising a gloved hand to his mouth, a muffled sob slipped out of Matt and into it. As much as hearing this was further twisting his heart in his chest, he couldn’t tear himself away. He couldn’t stop listening, wishing he could be part of the conversation with you.

“Hopefully you get your father’s intelligence,” you continued on. “He’s a smart man, even if he’s stubborn and makes absolutely terrible decisions sometimes.”

A humorless laugh fell out of Matt next, still muffled against the palm of his glove. More wet tears trailed down his cheeks, the brisk night air biting unforgivingly against his damp skin. You weren’t wrong on that.

“I wonder what your favorite animal will be, too,” you said, turning off the stovetop. “Dogs? Cats? Koala bears?”

He heard you hum in thought as you plated your grilled cheese, walking your way over to the small table in your kitchen. The same table he’d sat at with you for many dinners, flirting with you over a meal he’d helped you cook or one you’d both ordered out. The same table you both eventually crawled out of bed in the mornings together to have coffee at, with Matt often pulling you down to cuddle in his lap while he slowly woke up.

“Or will you like narwhals maybe?” you murmured, breaking through the memories playing through his mind. "What do you think, my little devil?"

Matt forced himself to stop listening in to that one-sided conversation when he heard you take a bite of your food, shaking his head roughly as he rose to his feet. His heart ached far too much, the tears continuing to drip down his chin and land on the cement roof with an echoing plop each time. He wiped the sleeve of his suit across his face below the mask, trying to dry the tears even though they still kept coming.

He didn’t think he could sit up on your rooftop any longer. It wasn’t the same as actually being there with you. Touching you. Smelling you. Holding you. He needed to find a way to do more than this. To be welcomed back into your life, even just a little bit, so that he could prove himself. He couldn’t just sit here pathetically crying on your apartment building’s rooftop while he eavesdropped.

With a frustrated growl, Matt threw himself over to the next rooftop, heading back out into the night.

Groaning, you woke up to that familiar, unpleasant dizziness as your alarm rang out on the nightstand beside you. Pulling a hand up from out of the sheets, you turned off your alarm before running your hand across your forehead, keeping your eyes closed and waiting for the sensation to pass. It was a few minutes before it finally did, and you slowly began to toss the sheets off of yourself. 

Throwing your legs over the side of the bed, you reached over and grabbed the half-full tumbler of water from your nightstand. You had been keeping one there every night lately, noticing that the cool water sometimes helped ease the nausea that woke you from a dead sleep. 

Bringing the tumbler up to your parched lips, you slowly drank a few sips down. Your stomach immediately grumbled, churning once the water reached it. Groaning again, you stopped drinking, not wanting to push your luck and end up hunched over your toilet again. Apparently you still had a few more weeks before the morning sickness generally wore off for most women in pregnancy, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t counting down the days. You’d celebrate with a cup of coffee–assuming the scent of it didn’t still deter you.

Rising up onto your feet, you groggily trudged your way out of the bedroom and across the hall to your bathroom. You flipped on the light, setting your tumbler down on the bathroom counter so you could relieve your very full bladder. You’d woken up a handful of times to pee in the middle of the night, but yet somehow there always seemed to be more to empty.

When you’d finished in the bathroom, you shuffled your way down the hallway, throwing a hand over your mouth as you yawned. If only you could have crawled back into bed and taken the day off of work. It was the last thing you felt like doing today. But as you made your way past your couch in the living room, something had caught your eye and you paused.

Doubling back you stopped at the armrest of the couch, staring down at what was positioned in the middle of it. A blue plush narwhal with a gold horn sat smiling back at you. One that hadn’t been there earlier.

For a moment all you could do was stand there and stare at it, confusion washing over you. Until you remembered how you’d gotten hungry in the middle of the night last night and made yourself a grilled cheese. And you’d been talking to your baby bump aloud, musing what they may or may not be like in the future.

You gasped when realization dawned on you, your hand flying back up to your mouth. Matt must have been nearby, eavesdropping on the conversation you were having. He must’ve heard you mention narwhals last night, and then apparently decided to run out and buy one–and the thought of him doing that dressed as Daredevil was admittedly amusing–before slipping into your apartment and leaving it here for you to find. For the baby.

As you trudged your way over to the couch, setting your tumbler down onto the coffee table and collapsing into the couch cushions, you didn’t know what to make of that. Picking up the stuffed narwhal, you hugged it to your chest, your eyes closing. Half of you wanted to be pissed that he’d been listening in without your knowledge, wondering if he’d been doing that often, but the other half of you was touched. It may not have been a grand gesture, but it was a gesture that clearly meant something. But what exactly still remained to be seen.

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