#ill try to clean it up tomorrow
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My two cents just before bed, I think the website will be 'fixed' at -18:00.
On reddit, u/friendly-Ad2904 brought up something Stan said during "Not What He Seems." He says (paraphrased) "Just 18 more hours [before the portal can open], everything changes today."
Already a good bet on its own, but I have another reason to believe that this is the time. This is meta gaming but you want this whole thing dragged out long enough to be "painful," but not so long ppl will get bored and the hype dies down. Imo 18 hours is perfectly in this window
It's also likely that an American show will favor American timezones (the website will be fixed when most of the US is awake to see it). This lines up with the -18 timer. I eye-balled it cus eepy, but it will be roughly 9am est (pls if i got this wrong its cus its super late rn đ). Thats early in the day for obsessive fans catch it and start talking about it (wtvr "it" is) before social media prime time (8am - 3pm), basically expediting the hype train process.
Also the book is on sale right now for $18 (pointed out by a handful of ppl), and u/special-drama-8840 brought up that ep 18 s2 is the start of Weirdmageddon.
TLDR: I connected the dots (we'll see tomorrow if I didn't connect shit)
[Will link credit tomorrow!]
#gravity falls#sorry this is badly written but yk#ill try to clean it up tomorrow#(do i have to credit ppl? i think its important to not pretend i came up with this all on my own#but maybe its weird or inappropriate to callout random internet ppl directly name - ahhh i dunno)#*by name
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part 2
Liu Qingge might be bad with faces, he can admit that, at least to himself. Never to anyone else, though. Being called an uneducated brute, and the most feral of the feral child colony was enough for him.Â
However, as bad as Liu Qingge was with faces, heâs almost certain heâs seen this one before. It could just be the fact that the man was covered in blood and monster entrails, but Liu Qingge swears heâd seen this person before.Â
âDo I know you?â Liu Qingge asked, still standing atop the Iron Flecked Mole Rat. The man that Liu Qingge swears heâd met gaped at him for a moment, his dark green eyes wide as Liu Qingge flicked off the last of the monster's blood from his sword. âNo?â The man dragged out the word oddly, Liu Qingge squinted at him.Â
âAre you sure?â Liu Qingge jumped down from the back of the monster, barely making a noise as his feet hit the leaf-covered ground. âYes?â The man scrambled to stand, grimacing slightly as blood dripped from his hair down his face. âYou do not sound sure.â Liu Qingge got closer to him, frowning as he tried to examine the manâs face closer.Â
âWhere would we even meet? You look like you belong to a big sect, Iâm just a wandering cultivator.â Liu Qingge frowned down at the man, just barely shorter than him, the man smiled, almost, nervous? Liu Qingge needed to add the ability to read peopleâs emotions to his list of weaknesses, directly below recognizing faces.Â
âCould have met during a hunt. Like we have now. What is your name.â The manâs eyes slide from him glancing back at the dead Iron Flecked Mole Rat, âIâm pretty sure neither of us would be on the same job.â He said, his shoulders relaxing slightly. âWe are now, what is your name.â
The man hummed, glancing around the empty trees around them, most of the other animals long scared off by the rampaging mole rat. âShaâŚ.Yan. My name is Sha Yan.â Liu Qingge turned that around in his mind for a moment, he was pretty sure heâd never met a Sha Yan before.
However, the man could be lying to him, he was shifting quite a lot, or maybe that was the monster blood he was drenched in. âAlright.â The man, Sha Yan, perked up, âYou believe me?â Not as much anymore. âEnough. I will bring you to an inn, itâs my fault you are dirty.âÂ
Sha Yan blinked at him, âYou donât have to? I know the way back to the village,â Liu Qingge shook his head, âI caused you to be covered in blood, I will fix it.â Sha Yan went to open his mouth but Liu Qingge picked up the Iron Flecked Mole Rat and nodded to Sha Yan to start moving.
Shen Qingqiu sipped at his tea, the silence between the three people was tense but Shen Qingqiu had experience ignoring it. Qi Qingqi set her cup down, much gentler than she would have had her wife not been in the room, âSo, who is it?â Shen Qingqiu hummed for a moment, âIâm afraid I donât know what you are talking about Qi-shimei.âÂ
Qi Qingqiâs face warped slightly before she restrained herself, âShen-shixiong,â The honorific left her mouth reluctantly, âMost of Cang Qiong knows shixiong is ah, looking for someone. This shimei would be delighted to help, but she cannot without a name.âÂ
Shen Qingqiu simply stared at her for a moment before Lai Xiulan broke the silence, âThank you for accepting our request for tea, Lord Shen. This one has heard some interesting theories from the disciples.â Shen Qingqiu nodded at the other woman, he typically preferred speaking with her rather than her wife.Â
Usually. âI understand you must be worried Lady Lai, but I intend to keep information from anyone who may tip off myâŚwayward quarry.â Qi Qingqi frowned at him, leaning back slightly, âAnd you believe us to be able to tip your target off?â Lai Xiulan frowned slightly at her wife before turning back to the other Peak Lord with a small smile, âThis one believes that Lord Shen does not have harmful intentions with this search, and we intend to offer our help with the search, if we may?âÂ
The true issue with speaking to Lai Xiulan was she was such a stickler to formalities and so genuine that even Shen Qingqiu and his cold dead heart, felt a flicker of something when he attempted to cut her with his words. Guilt was a disgusting emotion, even the brief flickers.Â
âThis shixiong does not intend to turn away his shimeiâs earnest help. However, this shixiong must be certain that shimei will not tell any of our martial siblings until the Peak Lord Meeting next week.â If Shen Qingqiu didnât know his shimeiâs personality he would have said she almost pouted at being denied the ability to gossip. âFine,â She grumbled, Lai Xiulan patted her hands consolingly before directing a bright smile at Shen Qingqiu.Â
Despicable woman, Shen Qingqiu huffed, âThe subject of this hunt is Shen Yuan of Ling You.â Qi Qingqiu perked up, leaning forward with a glint in her eye, âLittle Yuan-shidi? Who knew you had it in you Shen Qingqiu.â Lai Xiulan glanced between her wife and Shen Qingqiu with curiosity plain on her face.Â
âMaybe my little disciples were right, did Yuan-shidi scorn you? You should apologize if you made a mistake, shixiong.â Her smile was sharp, a sharp-eyed predator whoâd spotted a juicy morsel. Shen Qingqiu restrained his impulse to simply demand she leave, her wife was still here, and despite how manipulative Lai Xiulan was, she was simply too nice to turn a cold shoulder to.Â
âYou consume too many cheap novels shimei.â Was all he deigned to say to the gossip mongrel. Her sharp laughter rang in the small bamboo house.Â
Liu Qingge had left the body of the Iron Flecked Mole Rat in one of the larger qiankun bags he had left in the only inn in the village. He knew none other than another cultivator could walk off with the body but he needed multiple parts of the mole rat in good condition for the other peaks.Â
Liu QIngge went into the inn and quickly bought both a room and a tub, Sha Yan was waiting outside, the blood still dripping from his robes. Liu Qingge went out to stand with Sha Yan, unwilling to let him out of sight for very long. It didnât take long for a worker to poke their head out and tell him the bath was waiting up in his room.Â
Sha Yan was quiet as they walked into the inn and down the narrow hallway, he had spoken most of the walk back, informing Liu QIngge of the habits, behaviors, and habitats of Iron Flecked Mole Rats, heâd spoken about the different ways Iron Flecked Mole Rats developed depending on region for most of the walk.Â
It was interesting to be sure; Liu Qingge had never had the patience to sit and memorize the different irrelevant details of different monsters or beasts. Heâd only learned how to kill them and which could be edible. Sha Yanâs memory of the different beasts around was deeply impressive to him, he almost wanted to drag Sha Yan back to Cang Qiong and place him on Ling You.Â
The Peak was without a Peak Lord anyway, being run solely by Hall Masters and spontaneous visits from Peak Lords who had less to do than they claimed. It could do with an actual Peak Lord to watch over it, and Sha Yan seemed around his age.Â
They stepped into the inn room, two beds tucked up against each wall with a divider separating the room from the wooden tub. Sha Yan shuffled over to the bathtub, peering in at the water before glancing back at Liu Qingge. âAre you sure you want me to bathe first?âÂ
Liu Qingge stared at him for a moment, flicking his eyes down at where the blood was dripping onto the floor, âYes.â Sha Yan followed his eyes and grimaced before fully shuffling behind the divider.Â
All in all the inn was very well kept for such a small village, the village was named, though Liu Qingge had already forgotten the name, but it hadnât seen much in terms of coin. The roads were all dirt, many houses had holes in their roofs that were awkwardly patched and it was easy to spot where buildings had been repaired after the recent rainy season.Â
Liu Qingge unsheathed Cheng Luan and quietly began to maintain the sword, cycling his qi through it as he carefully cleaned the hilt and blade. Weapon maintenance was an important part of a cultivator's life, something Wei Qingwei and his peak made a point to force into the rest of the sectâs heads. Â
Liu Qingge huffed, remembering all of the times heâd had to resort to biting Wei Qingwei when they were disciples to continue training with his sword. Wei Qingwei was larger than him, in height and breadth, and knew how to weaponize his size.Â
It didnât matter that heâd just broken his wrist or that Mu-shidi said you need to be resting, not working with your sword! Wei Qingwei never brought up those incidents after they happened, but Liu Qingge knew that Wei Qingwei just needed an introduction to how fights work on Bai Zhan, at least among younger disciples.Â
Sha Yan was done with his bath once Liu Qingge had finished cleaning his sword. The bath had to be dumped and refilled, with Sha Yan awkwardly hidden behind the moved divider so the worker could get to the tub. But Liu Qingge was more inclined to find a stream somewhere since the worker already dumped and refilled the bath once.Â
The only thing that kept him from leaving and finding a stream was Sha Yan, who had begun to look increasingly more nervous the longer he spent with Liu Qingge in the inn. His chatter had started up once more, moving from Iron Flecked Mole Rats to the Starry Night Dogs, talking about how theyâd adapted to the various weather conditions that may impede their ability to channel the stars.Â
His words only grew quicker, and he pulled out a notebook from inside a qiankun pouch Liu Qingge previously hadnât spotted, flopping down onto the other bed in the room. Sha Yan flipped through the notebook, gesturing at various pages as he spoke. Eventually, Liu Qingge had enough of it, âWhy are you nervous?â his voice was flat, but his eyebrows were drawn together, Sha Yan stared at the Peak Lord, opening and closing his mouth.Â
âIâŚWell, I suppose I wasnât expecting you to stay here with me?â Sha Yan squeezed out, the tops of his ears beginning to color as he fidgeted. Liu Qingge tilted his head slightly, âWhy? It is honorable to fix my wrongs.â Sha Yan laughed a little, tucking his legs up onto his bed as well, âYou donât have to? I mean, you didnât commit any wrongs against me.âÂ
Liu Qingge shook his head at the younger man, at least he thought he was younger, âYou were drenched in the blood of the Iron Flecked Mole Rat because of my carelessness.â Sha Yan smiled a little at that, âIâm clean now? I kind of expected to you leave once we got to the inn.âÂ
Liu Qingge simply shrugged and removed his hair crown before tossing it onto the bed. The thing was extremely uncomfortable during sleep and he wanted at least some sleep, even the frustrating light sleep he was bound to get.Â
Shang Qinghua wished he let Mu-shidi sedate him. Inquires were flooding in, both from his fellow Peak Lords and from disciples, poking their noses into his peak, distracting his disciples. He had deadlines to meet, please!
Mu-shidi had visited earlier in the morning, concern politely plastered on his face, as though Shang Qinghua couldnât see the glint in his eyes. The same glint he had when he used his needles to subdue someone. Shang Qinghue didnât need to be sedated, he needed to get everything handled.Â
Maybe he hadnât slept in a few days, working through a report from Liu-shidi, sorting through budget reports, tracking down where the HELL his lumbar supplier disappeared to. He had things to do, and while being sedated sounded nicer the longer he stared down at a report from Liu-shidi, detailing a cultivator that was currently being hunted by their shixiong, he had to get through it.Â
Finish the report, send it to Zhangmen-shixiong, who will deal with it, deal with Shen-shixiong, and then get sedated. A good plan, but unfortunately derailed by Qi Qingqi barging into his office as he continued to stare down at the piece of paper he was certain held the answer to his lifeâs problems.Â
âShang Qinghua?â Qi Qingqi called out, never Shang-shixiong, always Shang Qinghua, âIâm going to have a nervous breakdown.â Was all he replied with. Qi Qingqi nodded slowly, âIs this a conversation for Mu-shixiong?â Shang Qinghua didnât respond but grabbed the devilish piece of paper from his desk and held it aloft to her.Â
âIf you are going to have me sedated, give this to Zhangmen-shixiong. Iâm not dealing with this.â Qi Qingqi frowned but took the paper, scanning over it, her sharp eyebrows raising as she read, âSounds fair, Shang-shixiong. Iâll call for Mu-shixiong.â
ao3
part 1
#ill put the cleaned up versions on ao3 tomorrow#svsss#fanfic#grammar is still awful my bad#mxtx svsss#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#shen jiu#liu qingge#shang qinghua#qi qingqi#dont expect me to be sentient until 12 hours have passed#shen yuan panicking trying to figure out a fake name: *says the ship name he used for liu mingyan and sha hualing*#i think ill continue to put the chapters up here#at least a part of it before i put it up on ao3#idk ill figure it out when its not 3am#thank you for all the positive feedback by the way#made my day
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Oh, hello, gorgeous. I hardly recognize you. Did you get work done?
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FUCKING SLUT. Fucking INTONATED slut. You think you're SO SHARP. Well, NOT ANY MORE, all strapped in, tuned up, fucking TOY. You loud-mouthed whore. Gonna make you scream for ME, next. Yeah, that string you just broke? That's gonna cost ya. Don't worry. I'll make you work it off.
#((im so sorry venom baby did it hurt when i broke that string on you pls dont be mad babe ill learn to play medium gauge pls honey))#fr tho spent all fucking day tuning him up and deep cleaning and exploring every nook and cranny to see what can be maintained#i dont have measuring tools but thank god the truss rod doesnt seem to be giving me any reason to adjust it#the issues seem to have been with the intonation paired with the super high action i was using before#only like a half turn shorter on the saddle bridge piece (after id removed n put the piece back on) and the tuner went from sharp to in tune#i may need to move that lower even bc the 3rd and 6th saddle are maxed and like 1 hairs worth sharp but this is a lot better than before#im not touching all of that again its fine. my new problem is going from light to medium gauge lmao#wouldnt be as bad if the action were low but i like it high so im just gonna have to be the painslut next#broke one string bc whoa guess who forgot to lower the bottom bridge before twisting those knobs#i was literally like 'okay this is too tense this cant be right somethings off' !#* ... and SNAP lost number 5 lmao. had to open a new pack bc the spare single 5th string is like 0.01 off of the set packs#and that would drive me nuts knowing that so i had to open a new pack#anyway hes all tied up and ready to go. unfortunately im ready to go to sleep.#prob shouldve waited to string him up but ill play w him tomorrow anyway. gotta get used to this gauge since its all the packs i have#shouldve ordered my own sets but id rather just get used to medium anyway since i wind up tuning to drop d and c all the time now#guitars#Cori.exe#Image.exe#suggestive#lmao#man why didnt i take a before picture#my boi was lookin so dusty#i gotta clip those string tips closer later too ugh that was not fun trying to wedge the slipped piece between two coils as i wound them#shouldve just done straight coils under the slipped end. but you know me. cant do anything straight#btws venom has a cock ring on his strap. sucks putting it on tho holy shit#my hands are too cold for this
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As a stranger on the internet (so feel free to ignore or tell me I'm out of line) you might just be going through a grieving process. It sucks, a lot, and I don't really have any advice other than it will slowly get better, but it might help simply knowing.
Grief is different for everyone, and looks different for everyone too. But either way I hope you feel better soon <3
It's very possible, I just don't want that to be the answer because then I don't know what to do
#it feels more like im using grief as an excuse to not do anything and i find it really upsetting#i just dont kno what to do. i have a lightning talk to give tomorrow and i cant get anywhere bc when i try to get anything done i just start#crying and everything feels like a mess that i have no motivation to clean up#just everything. why did i decide to do this with my life? why couldnt i have chosen a functional career path?#i dont kno what im doing. i dont kno how im going yo get things together for my committee meeting Friday#or how ill get thru it without crying. i dont even kno what i want. i wanna talk to my dad i guess but ive never told anyone in my family#when im having a hard time and i dont kno how to do that without making him worry#ugh. tomorrow's gonna suck. so does today. i just want the semester to be over. but then i cant escape my project. so idk what i want#i want sleep for 1000 years or at least until all my problems are gone#unrelated
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sometimes itâs late at night and youâre cleaning your room and you come across a few old black and white photos of a young girl and you stare at them for a long minute wondering how on earth they got lost in an old Kroger shopping bag with an unopened pack of cigarettes and a receipt dated 2017.
and you look at the girl in the pictures sat on the floor of someoneâs home you donât recognize, smiling and playing with a set of keys and a tiny part of you feels like it recognizes her but you arenât sure.
and you flip the pictures over hoping to find some sort of annotation that would give you context and all you find is the year 1964 stamped in tiny font along the edge.
and you flip them back over and time stands still as you realize that the recognition you feel is because she looks so much like you once did and next thing you know your hands are sweating and shaking and you have to sit on the floor because youâre crying so hard because it hits you all at once that youâre looking at your mother.
#hey Siri play In Color by Jamey Johnson for me please#music stuff#you shouldâve seeeeen it in cooolllloor#Seven.txt#Sevenâs Public Diary#normal Sunday night behavior#me? up all night hyperfocused on cleaning out my depression cave to achieve a sense of change and accomplishment -#- and ignoring every other aspect of my life including abandoning time sensitive tasks lest i get distracted and lose all motivation???#more likely than you think!#iâve been at this since new years and iâm only like. halfway done. Gods help me#like i donât mean âcleaningâ as in doing some light dusting. i mean thereâs junk and trash piled 2/3rds of the way to the ceiling#when i call this room my depression/mental illness cave i Mean it#but no longer. i shall finally return this room to an acceptable state for the first time since. uh. 2022? i think?#i found a plastic container of dates buried under some laundry and the sticker says theyâre from March of last year lmao#i forgot about those/thought i threw them away. but they were thankfully sealed so well that they hadnât drawn any bugs#and oddly enough hadnât even visibly molded/gone bad. but i didnât open them up for a smell test i just chucked âem in my giant trash bag#iâm finding all kinds of shit i forgot i even had which is nice but itâs also distracting me like those pictures did#iâll have to show them to her and ask her about them tomorrow#and ur probably like âu found old pics of a girl that looks like you why didnât you immediately recognize ur own momâ#and 1. thereâs countless pics of countless old relatives around this house that i barely/donât recognize and never even met#and 2. iâve barely ever seen any pics of my mom from such a young age so i have no images to reference in my mind#and it just fucked me up bc. i donât look like her anymore. i only see Him in the mirror. but i Used to look like her. iâm turning into him#and i fucking hate it so much. i donât like that she looks at me and sees him. great now i feel sick.#anyways thats enough reminiscing i need to get some water and food in me and get back to cleaning. i shanât rest until iâm satisfied#well. my period + depression combo kinda Did make me rest which is why itâs taken 5 days but still. the horrors persist but so do i#itâs not just for the sense of accomplishment tho. i also need to move the 75gal tank out of the living room thanks to the floor situation#so iâm trying to make room in my room for it since it has the newest & strongest floor. i just need to find a level spot thats big enough#my back is gonna be so fucked after all this cleaning that iâll have to rest for a fucking week before moving that heavy ass glass box#i hate moving big aquariums it makes me so anxious. and i literally donât know if iâll have anyone capable of helping me#so it might not even happen and itâll just have to sit empty in the living room forever. but Maybe he can/will help me
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screaming in the club
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time for another vent in tags
#so i was joking and i thought it came through but im also dumb and autistic and my jokes dont always cross. sO#i was joking about one of my roomates not seeing Nightmare Before Christmas before bc i was showing 2 of them my picture vinyl of it and whe#n one of them said they never saw it i said âbut you were a loser on tumblr in the 2010s wdymâ and their fiance was just rude to me and i th#ought it was clearly a joke but ig not and they lowley attacked me for it? im just?? i tried to clarify that i was joking and they know im a#utistic. hell the one i was joking to is also autistic but idk so now i feel like utter shit especially after all i did today thst juet drai#ned me. ive been trying to fix our 2nd shower. i had a meeting. i had an extremely hard therapy session. and i showered today. its been hell#like i am trying to get thru relapsing on SH and my ED and ofc they dont know but that shit made it worse and i dont want to say anything bc#then ill feel like im guilt tripping? idk but im also super nervous about a HRT appmt i have coming up and i cant afford it and we have no#food in the house i can eat rn and no one has gone shopping. i cant go shopping either bc i cant drive/dont have a car. and its making it#harder to help get back on track with eating when theres nothing for me to eat? so everything is fucking amazing right now.#the only meals i could POSSIBLY have and all claimed by the one roommate i was joking with. it all takes up half our freezer too so thats#fucking awesome. all this food for one person and none that i can eat or the other vegan in the house can eat. i have been hungry for DAYS.#all there has been for me to eat is cup ramen and grilled cheese. AND SOMEONE WHO WASNT FUCKING VEGAN ATE ALL THE VEGAN CHEESE IM GENUINELY#SO PISSED OFF? like dude yall have your own cheese wtf#the thing is its already really hard for me to tell when i am actually hungry bc of years of ignoring it so when i actually feel it and ther#es nothing it really gets to me. im so tired and idek where my EBT card is to get myself something. its all just so much.#i just want to lay in my bed and sleep for days. but i cant. i have too much shit to do. like even just tomorrow i have to clean the#bathroom. mop the kitchen. do dishes. shovel snow. and just generally take.care of shit because since we have 2 roomates MIA right now and#no one else wanted to do shit i had to step up and i am STRUGGLING. i have been for a while. the thing is everyone that didnt sign up for sh#it didnt have much going on besides probable seasonal depression#i relapsed. have debilitating mental health. i can barely get out of bed before 4 pm. and i have to take care of myself and my cat.#im so close to snapping on them at this point#i need the one roommate i actually like to come back or i swear i will lose my shit. hes only been gone for 6 days but HOLY SHIT#everything has gone to shit#vent over ig im going to sleep soon. still hungry if i cant find something.
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you know that one post that was floating around a while back all "do the fiddly annoying never-actually-done chore(s), not for current you right now, but for future you as a gift"
yeah....
i hate when that shit is right
#knew it was getting around time for one of my chronic illnesses to ping#(cause i was due a flare up of this particular one in a bit)#so i changed my sheets and put my clean clothes away finally#and cut my hair so it wouldn't get annoying while i suffered &/recovered#and got shit ready to take an extra thorough shower tomorrow#and noooope#shit flared up TONIGHT#so its a good fucking thing i did all that prep work already#because it would suck to try to do all that once the flareup started#bodies were a mistake#personal shit
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also I know that like having my window open probably isn't great for my allergies but the thing is I am Also allergic to the stuff inside my house (DUST ETC) so it's honestly a lose/lose. imma take some fresh crisp autumn air
#maybe ill manage to clean my room tomorrow#i dont wanna try tonight bc a) tired and b) risk kicking up dust and worsening this attack
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oc progress update again im now at 7.5/10
#i have pluto's design down now which is awesome i just need to clean up the drawing itself basically#and i hope that ill be able to finish tomorrow and also hopefully start number 8#which i expect to finish by wednesday but after that ill be busy for a bit so#my guess is ill be able to fully post them by halloween. maybe ill even wait to do it the day of#i think theyre a good set for it. pandemonium wouldve been MORE fitting but i mean i finished those guys ages ago#if i happen to finish earlier than expected ill try to do a little doodle of a couple them for halloween#absolutely no promises on that end tho
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I'm starting to see ppl talk abt updating their artfight pages and at first I was like what why it's still months away and then it hit me that by months it was two months and now I'm just silently sweating as my anual side project to remake the eternal gales refs and give them all icons comes back to haunt me
#rat rambles#oc posting#well I mean the good news is that all the staliens are already done and Ive already started on the human kids#the bad news is that theres still 5 more refs for me to remake and 9 icons if I decide to commit to that#the only one Ill probably force myself to do is sprinkles since shes the only stalien that doesnt have one and I dont want to leave her out#the human kids might just not get them tho especially since theres other characters Id like to make refs and icons for too#not as many newbies to the field this year which is a good thing since I do not have a lot of space left for new characters lol#Im probably going to take it easy this year in terms of my goals for artfight since last year I crashed and burned Hard#hopefully Ill have the time and motivation to draw a decent amount but if I dont Ill try not to be too broken up about it#especially since Ill probably burn myself out a bit doing the last minute ref rush lol#its not necessary especially since all the guys who needed the new refs most got theirs but Id like for them to be on the same page#I also went ahead and cleaned up my page a lil bit to make my life easier in the future#I should probably update bios and stuff but I dont feel like it Im too tired#tomorrow Im definitely going to need to clean some more as I have been for nearly every day#I mean guess thats why Im here in part#last week of pet sitting tho so soon Ill be back home again#Im not sure if Im excited or dreading it cause while I miss my family I also have been rly enjoying a house to myself#like its not necessary easy to do all the chores and stuff but it's a lot easier to do said chores when Im alone#and Ive actually been waking up at reasonable times too like not having my mom floating around is doing wonders#its almost making me rethink my insistence that I couldnt live alone but I definitely think itd get to me in the long term I need people#I just wish there was a better middleground since having people constantly in the house stresses me out so bad#it leads to me hiding out all day in my room and that's just not good for me#but its not like I could live by myself even if I wanted to#at this rate I dont think Ill ever move out but lets not think abt how much worse that could be for me thats future me's problem
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I'm doing soooo amazing (weeping) like so great and cool (crying) feeling amazing (sleep deprived)
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I finally got a load of dishes done though. This, at least, is worth celebrating.
#speculation nation#ive been putting dishes off for weeeeeks#it's better off without a before pic bc y'all dont wanna see what was in my sink before đ#i will have clean bowls. and silverware. đĽş#i ate cold chef boyardee straight from the can this morning#bc i had no clean bowls and nothing i could possibly use instead. all tupperware used. all microwavable mugs and cups that would fit it#all plates with enough of a lip to hold canned pasta. all plates in general tbh aside from a few tiny plates.#so i ate it straight from the can and u cant microwave a can so i just ate it cold.#not my most dignified moment to be sure. but also not the lowest ive ever gone lmao#Still Pretty Low Tho#but yeah ill have clean dishes. and ill do a 2nd load tomorrow.#im gonna clean up the clutter from my floors. and try to confront the Clothes Problem....#i dont want to try mopping until after the showing if it happens bc im not gonna have random ppl dirtying my clean floors.#bc they WILL just wear their damn shoes inside bc this is america and no one has any fucking manners here.#but whatever. im gonna get my apartment approximately presentable. at least enough so im not mortified by it.#just bc im mental illness squatting here doesnt mean i want ppl to SEE it#thank god i got the worst things done yesterday tho. and today with the dishes.#remaining stuff is mostly just tidying. rather than going through The Horrors lol#sigh. im accomplishing things. unfortunately...#gonna go to bed soon. gotta be up nice and early for more cleaning! :D đ
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its always the little things that make you want to slap people
#context#i was supposed to be cleaning up the backyard#and i started on it but i came back inside because there was a wasp and i value my life#and my moms really pissed#shes all âyoure doing it by tomorrow or you cant leave the house theres always an excuse to not to what i askâ#like holy shit girl i didnt know you wanted me to control nature and magic the wasps away#ill try harder on that next time jesus
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new semester, new healthy habits, a fresh start
#im going to unpack my things now and not wait a month#and by the end of the week i want to have cleaned the house#and I'll go back to the gym tomorrow or on Wednesday the latest#and i wont mess up my sleeping schedule too much#and ill start eating better. I'll probably be eating at uni 3 times per week so at least I'll be eating some vegetables and the yucky foods#that are you know healthy and important for vitamins and whatever#and ill try to read all the books in my physical tbr so i can make my family buy me books for my birthday lol#jo says stuff#personal ramblings
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reading I did earlier today. First one i've done in so fucking long so it was a big one.
#its like taking a shit u know#happy to report my desk is still clean!!! day like. two or three or somehting idk#edit: i posted on my truman account the the school year will probably be busy but! i got the times mized around!! this is already happening!#whoops!!!#that does make a bit more sense!#edit 2: so like. Two paths. converging into one. looks like. right now#lots of talk but no action and family conflicts.#seems about right#then it all culminates into#sucsess and public reconision and then#i had these little book ends that are these cheeply made tarot i got in turkey#and they said the giving and taking is not even. but thats not a very satisfying ending so they didnt really do their job#but! this is my first reading in forever so no body is allowed to be mad at me!!!! im practicing!#edit 3: maybe tomorrow ill do an expansion on the other path?? i didn't realize till looking at this picture how clearly its about two#people meeting. like i was pretty sure but i didn't relize there was like. a space with the leonardman cards to expand.#should be able to set it up like this. i could even do it now..... but.... sleepy. maybe if i have trouble falling asleep ill get up and try
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Went on my walk it was fun! Saw a fox at some point â§ŕ¸şď˝Ľď˝Ą(âŞâ˝âŞ*)シ・⧠I'll try n go on one again tomorrow, might bring an apple 4 the neighbours donkey God bless her shes white with age
#also there was roadworks recently and as a result theres SO much fucking litter >:T pick up yer beer cans n tayto packets! cunts!#i respect manual labourers so much but also fucks sake#so ill try n bring a trash bag n some gloves on the walk tomorrow so i can clean up
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I feel like I could throw up
And honestly, its probably cause I need to eat
But also
*just kinda waves around at everything*
#anyways im turning 30 tomorrow fingers crossed for a good birthday present#the house is a mess and i dont wanna clean#and i think our AC is fucked up and i dont want to interact with the landlord thats a shitty birthday present#and ive trying to settle on something to watch but nothing is hitting the spot#which is probably good because if i dont get wrapped up in a series ill probably clean the house#right?#and we have so much food in this house and also somehow not enough#had this convo with my roommate the other day#it looks like we have a ton of food bit somehow its the wrong balance of ingredients and things that need other things to cook and snacks#and quick meals like theres just not really enough of anything...#i really meant to buy lettuce and salad thingd yesterday but the AC not working for half the day stressed me out and i spent all day#in my room with not a single thought of going anywhere#tag rambles#don't mind me
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