#ikon and ATEEZ

[underthebrightmooninterests]

Just some ATEEZ + IKON content to cleanse your timeline

[multifanhoe99]

Alright y'all I know I have been missing for a bit but it's that time again! HERE is a link to the prompt list.

Day 1- Voice Kink w/ Zuho

Day 2- Sex machine w/ The8

Day 3- CNC w/ Suho

Day 4- Praise kink w/ Wooyoung

Day 5- Spanking w/ Jiung

Day 6- Public sex w/ Haruto

Day 7- Car sex w/ Taeyang of Sf9

Day 8- Corruption w/ Chanyeol

Day 9- Wax play w/ Xiumin

Day 10- Hair pulling w/ Hwiyoung

Day 11- Lap dance w/ J-Hope

Day 12- Biting w/ Joohoney

Day 13- Overstimulation w/ T.O.P

Day 14- Masturbation w/ Soul

Day 15- Blindfold w/ Heuningkai

Day 16- Camboy/girl w/ JB

Day 17- Breeding w/ Bobby

Day 18- Hypnosis/mind control w/ Seonghwa

Day 19- Cucking w/ Onew

Day 20- Wolf Hybrid/Knotting w/ Intak

Day 21- Daddy kink w/ Taeyang of Big Bang

Day 22- Caught or Almost w/ Yeosang

Day 23- Choking w/ Mingyu

Day 24- Shower sex w/ Hongseok

Day 25- Tentacle play w/ Yoshi

Day 26- Mirror Sex w/ Leeknow

Day 27- Vampire w/ Ni-ki

Day 28- Office sex w/ Jihoon

Day 29- Threesome w/ New, Q, and Sunwoo

Day 30- Knife play w/ Heesung

Day 31- Monster Fucking w/ YangYang

[maximura]

[tinybeetiny]

Okay…. Hear me out

Listen….. listen… hear me out please. Imagine. JYP of all people kidnaps you along with all your biases and yall have to go through a bunch of different trials like facing your fears, getting through some fucked up rooms…. In our own delulu ways they all fall in love with you and they all try and save you and help as much as they can. Spicy, angst, horror… etc. please don’t judge me

[mateoeoshifts]

                ➳　　 ☕️　　 ♡　 　⁺　 🕯️　 ⪩ ⪨

　 　ʾ 　　（❀ ˘˘） 　　∿ 001 . 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰

﹫   ﹒   `🎹`ꜛ  HELLOO , my name is mateo. I AM A KPOP SHIFTER, though I do have other drs. I came on here to share my… drs.. and mainly yap about my faves 🔥🔥🔥. I hope to get along with everyone I meet here and to have good friends too! I will primarily make posts about my drself in my main drs, though my side drs MAY make an appearance. I also make scenarios, concept photos, and all of that good stuff!!

                ➳　　 ☕️　　 ♡　 　⁺　 🕯️　 ⪩ ⪨

　ʾ 　　（❀ ˘˘） 　　∿ 002 . 𝘮𝘺 𝘥𝘳𝘴

﹫   ﹒   `⚜️`ꜛ  main drs : BigBang , ATEEZ, OETAM (Solo) , Better Cr , IKON

﹫   ﹒   `☕️`ꜛ side drs :

Con:Soul (group shift)

Haikyuu

NCT

Idol School

2PM

SKZ

I HOPE TO MAKE MANY SHIFTING FRIENDS, ALSO SOME PEOPLE WITH SIMILAR DRS AS ME!! I WILL MAKE A INTRODUCTION TO ALL MY MAIN DRS TOO.. I SWEAR. PLEASE BE MY FRIEND 💔

[multiphandomunnies]

boy groups

ateez

day6

got7

pentagon

seventeen

nct

shinee

monsta x

ikon

stray kids

exo

bts

suju

wanna one

[orchidbloom]

Kingdom: Legendary War is basically about a bunch of attractive men falling in love with other attractive men

[crabsxdragons]

[23:13]

warning: mature content

He wasn’t expecting a completely dark home when he opened the door this evening. But here he is, trying to make his way to the bedroom without hitting any furniture on the way. His baby is home, he knows it.

Sleeping perhaps?, he thought.

He couldn’t be more wrong-

The dancing silhouette in his bedroom says otherwise. The figure dances in the dark, a familiar silhouette created by the light streaming through the window. The person is completely oblivious to his presence, moving in a teasing manner, lost in whatever music is playing through the earphones.

He cleared his throat, adjusting his position as he leans on the doorframe, arms crossed in front of his chest.

As his gaze focuses more and more on the body, not on the movements it makes, the performer turns around-

A gasp breaks the silence.

“You’re back”, followed by a tiny voice, almost a whisper.

He licked his lips, making his way closer.

“Yes, darling”

“How long have you been standing there?”, the earphones are off, his gaze lands on the pair of ears getting redder by the second.

He pretended to think, “hm… long enough to say that you are an incredible dancer, not long enough to see the entire performance”

“You weren’t supposed to see that”, the pout that came with the statement made him laugh.

He moved closer, trapping his little dancer with his arms and the dresser.

“Oh but it’s a pleasure for me to see that, darling”, his whispered.

He licked his lips again, feeling thirsty out of nowhere. His eyes darts to the pair of soft lips in front of him, calling out his name.

“How was your day?”, he almost didn’t catch the question, too lost inside the thought of a certain pair of lips against his.

“Exponentially better after that private performance of yours”

“Goodness, I wish there was a way to make you forget you ever saw that”, he could sense the embarrassment with a hint of frustration.

He was doing a great job holding in the urge to claim the lips in front of him, until someone’s teeth started chewing on it-

-and he lost it.

Another gasp fills the room as their lips collide. Bodies flush against each other. His lips moves passionately. He is hungry- no, starving. Hands are all over the place, feeling every curve his little dancer has. He gives no mercy, no time to breathe. Why breathe in oxygen when this person is the air he breathes?

Feeling a gentle push on his chest, he pulls away slightly, breathing heavily.

“I- I need to breathe”, he responded with a smirk, followed by a kiss on the forehead.

“You should take a shower, it’s late”

He was amused at the attempt to distract him from what he wants, “only if you join me, love”

The pair of eyes glaring him at him sent him laughing, “don’t- no, please stop doing that”

“Do what? I’m not doing anything, darling”, he teased more.

“Just go shower already, I’ll wait for you in bed”, and another gentle push on his chest.

He place a kiss on the neck, whispering, “I’ll see you in bed, baby”

“-hopefully with nothing on”

note:

hi everyone! i am well aware that i have not posted anything in two years. i sincerely apologize for that, and i am apologizing in advance because i can not promise you that i will be posting regularly in the future. anyways, ya girl is a doctor now. i hope that could explain my absence (sorry). here’s a little something i wrote, because apparently i daydreamed a bit too hard and this scene has been stuck in my mind ever since. take care! please stay happy and healthy ✨

[yumiyue07]

Through Fire and Blood

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13

｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆｡･:*:･ﾟ’★ POV: K-idol x reader

H/N = His name Y/N = Your name

Trigger warning: swearing ｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆｡･:*:･ﾟ’★

The warehouse echoed with an unsettling emptiness as you were roughly shoved inside. This time, it was another man—not Jun Ho—who brought you here. The familiar interrogation room chair awaited, opposite the boss's empty chair. The two men were still hanging there, the puddle of blood beneath them having grown larger. Their bodies were a gruesome reminder of what happened to those who crossed the boss. Fortunately, you didn't have to endure the sight for long before being pushed into the chair.

To your surprise, Jun Ho— whose gang name you had learned was Python—had suddenly positioned himself next to you. You had overheard one of the men addressing him by that name earlier. You looked at him, surprised since you hadn’t seen him in the hall before. He didn’t even spare you a glance, his eyes fixed on the empty chair before you.

"Boss Cobra will be here soon," one of the guards announced, breaking the heavy silence.

"Cobra it is," you thought, a realization dawning on you. That name sounded familiar. You must have overheard it while waiting in H/N's office during his meetings.

Your heart raced as you contemplated what was to come. Would H/N be able to find you? Would he confront Cobra? The fear of what awaited you under that man’s rule twisted in your stomach. You turned slightly to Jun Ho, studying him, trying to gauge whether he was an ally or just another pawn in this deadly game. But his expression remained unreadable, a mask of stoicism that left you with more questions than answers.

A moment later, a figure strode into the room, radiating an aura of power and menace. Cobra. He entered the hall, clad in an immaculate white suit, walking with the confidence of a man who believed he owned everything—and everyone—in the room. He was flanked by two men who appeared to be his bodyguards, their expressions mirroring their leader's – emotionless and deadly.

His gaze locked onto you immediately, a twisted smile spreading across his face. It wasn’t the kind of smile that offered comfort or warmth. It was the practiced charm of a predator, pretending familiarity, that made your skin crawl.

"It's so good to see you, my wildcat," he purred, his voice smooth but carrying the underlying threat of a snake ready to strike. His words oozed with false affection as if he were greeting an old lover. The tone made you want to retch, the nickname he used now feeling like a brand, a reminder of your imprisonment.

"Did you miss me?" Cobra leaned in, the faint scent of expensive cologne doing little to mask the suffocating malice that clung to him. His voice was low and almost seductive, but it dripped with manipulation. You instinctively recoiled, but his lips brushed the top of your head—a grotesque imitation of intimacy. His finger traced the curve of your cheek, lingering too long. You shuddered under his touch, every nerve in your body screaming to pull away, but you forced yourself to stay still.

A flicker of movement from Jun Ho caught your eye. His normally stoic demeanor faltered for a brief second. His jaw clenched, and his eyes darkened with something far more personal than simple professionalism. His stance grew rigid, and the tension radiating off him was palpable. It wasn’t just Cobra’s theatrics getting to him—it was Cobra touching you.

Jealousy simmered beneath the surface of Jun Ho’s calm exterior. Seeing Cobra treat you like something he owned, like a plaything, was more than he could bear. His protective instinct had become harder to suppress ever since you were brought into this nightmare. Each time Cobra got close, Jun Ho felt an almost primal need to shield you from the man’s poisonous grasp.

He wanted to intervene, to pull you away from Cobra’s suffocating presence, but he was bound by his position, and it burned him alive inside.

"So, our little game is about to end, wouldn't you say?" Cobra settled into the chair opposite you, his voice dripping with arrogance.

You looked at him, puzzled. "What game?"

His grin widened, exuding an air of superiority that made you want to slap it off his face. "Well, your fiancé's death game, of course. We lured him here on our terms. He has until midnight to show up, or you..." His voice trailed off, but the unspoken threat hung heavy in the air. "Or you’ll die." He said it so nonchalantly as if human lives meant nothing to him.

"Why are you doing this?" you choked out.

Cobra’s grin stretched even wider as he watched the shock and fear flash across your face, feeding his ego.

"You see, sweetheart," he continued, his tone almost casual, "there are rules in this world, and your little fiancé decided he didn’t want to play by them. So now, he’s learning the hard way. How stupid of him to mess with me." His eyes sparkled with cruel delight. He crossed his legs and placed his hands in his lap, his arrogance radiating from him like heat.

You swallowed hard, trying to steady your voice, but the anger bubbling up inside you refused to be silenced. "You think you can control everything with your twisted games? He’ll come for me, and when he does—"

Cobra cut you off with a laugh, a cold, hollow sound that echoed in the room. "Oh, he’ll come. I’m counting on it. But what do you think will happen when he does?" He leaned forward, his gaze locking onto yours with a predatory glint. "This is my territory. He walks in, he walks into his grave. This, my dear, is the lesson he’ll learn: what it means to lose everything he loves." Cobra’s voice turned low, each word more venomous than the last. "And if he doesn’t show? Well, you won’t be around to see his regret."

You felt your hands trembling, a mix of fear and fury flooding your senses. But you wouldn’t give Cobra the satisfaction of seeing you break. "You’re underestimating him," you said, your voice steadying despite the fear clawing at you. "You won’t win."

Cobra chuckled softly, leaning back in his chair. "We’ll see, darling. We’ll see."

"Boss, five minutes to midnight," one of the bodyguards said, breaking the tense silence.

"Please, H/N, don’t come. This is a trap," you silently pleaded, your heart racing.

"You see, I'm not going to kill you," he said, his voice dripping with false sincerity. "That would be such a waste. Instead, I give you the honor of becoming my bride." He smiled as if he were offering you the world on a silver platter. "You’ll still be the wife of the most feared boss. The only difference is, I'll be the man at your side. The only true boss, as it should be, after eliminating that filthy trash,

H/N." His eyes sparkled with twisted delight as if he had just delivered the most romantic proposal. But to you, it was pure madness.

You stared at him in disbelief, unable to fathom the depths of his delusion. Had he just listened to himself? Did he really think he could erase your love for H/N with a title and power? As if your bond with H/N was just about status or influence. Your stomach churned with revulsion as you realized how little Cobra understood about love, loyalty, or even basic human emotion. His idea of a relationship was a twisted power play, devoid of anything real.

"I’d rather die than be with you," you spat, your voice trembling with fury and defiance. "H/N is the only one for me, and it has nothing to do with his power or wealth."

At your words, Jun Ho shifted beside you. His fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles turned white. His reaction was almost imperceptible, but you noticed it, the way your declaration of loyalty to H/N stoked something deep inside him. Cobra, on the other hand, had no such restraint. His smile evaporated, replaced by a snarl of pure rage.

"How dare you, you bitch!" he roared, his voice a thunderclap that echoed through the hall. "I'll teach you some manners. Like it or not, you're going to be mine."

He glanced at his watch, a cruel grin stretching across his face. "Just one more minute." His voice dropped, oozing with mockery. "What a pity. Looks like your knight on the white horse won’t be here in time to save you."

But before you could process the weight of his threat, a voice cut through the tense air like a blade. Deep, dark, and filled with unbridled fury.

"That’s where you’re wrong."

Your breath caught in your throat as your head snapped up. You’d recognize that voice anywhere.

There, standing in the doorway like an avenging force, was H/N, his silhouette sharp against the faint light filtering into the room. His presence filled the space, dominating it. His eyes locked on Cobra, but there was something more in his gaze when it flicked briefly to you—a silent promise. He had come for you.

"Here I am."

To be continued...

♡

Finally, there he is! Our hero/prince/avenger...

Stay tuned for part 15!

｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆｡

Happy Birthday dear Chris/Bang Chan!

Thank you for being such a wonderfully talented, kind, and inspiring person. Wishing you all the love, happiness, and success you deserve. Thank you for existing! Big hug! 💕✨

Love, YumiYue 🌙

(⌒▽⌒)♡

Follow me on: 📸 Instagram: @yumiyue07 🎵 TikTok: @yumiyue07 📝 Wattpad: @LunaVerse_YumiYue

Disclaimer: This story is a work of fan fiction inspired by Stray Kids’ song “Freeze”. All characters and events are fictional and are not intended to represent real people or events.

All rights reserved. Please do not repost or reproduce this story without permission.

© 2024 LunaVerse - YumiYue07. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.

Tag list ♡ @catlove83 @burningemberz

[astoldbyarastella]

HAPPY ATEEZ X APPRECIATION WEEK 💜

Song Mingi: 🐥(🐺)

"Ming-tiseu" 💛

99liners 🧡 (5/6)

Yungi 🩶 (2/2)

Rapline 🎧 (3/3)

Nicknames: Mingki, Man Gi, Princess Minki.

*Only ENTP-T member that's in their group.

*Fans say he looks like iKONs members 'Bobby. "

AsToldBy𝓐𝓻𝓪'𝓢𝓽𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓪

[multifanhoe99]

Here is the masterlist so that you can find all the kinky good stuff in one spot!

Day 1- Thigh Riding w/ Jungkook

Day 2- Biting w/ Chanyeol ft. Baekhyun and Sehun

Day 3- Lingerie w/ JayB

Day 4- Masturbation w/ Hyunjae

Day 5- Edging w/ Wooyoung

Day 6- Dirty Talk w/ Jiung

Day 7- Mirror Sex w/ Sunwoo

Day 8- Cockwarming w/ Jaehyun

Day 9- Praise kink w/ Bobby

Day 10- Public Sex w/ San

Day 11- Knife Play w/ Jihoon

Day 12- Threesome w/ Zuho and Hwiyoung

Day 13- Religious Play w/ Hyunjin

Day 14- Succubus/Incubus w/ Yeonjun

Day 15- Vampire w/ Yuta

Day 16- Toys w/ Sunghoon

Day 17- Camgirl/boy w/ Soobin

Day 18- Voice Kink w/ Felix

Day 19- Somnophilia w/ Hyunsuk

Day 20- Size Kink w/ Yunho

Day 21- Breeding w/ Keeho

Day 22- Overstimulation w/ Kard

Day 23- Phone Sex w/ Key

Day 24- Wax Play w/ The8

Day 25- Car Sex w/ Juyeon

Day 26- Drunk/ High sex w/ I.M

Day 27- Body Mods w/ Ten and Taeyong

Day 28- Caught or Almost w/ I.N

Day 29- Hypnosis/ Mind Control w/ Kino

Day 30- Fucking Machine w/ Namjoon

Day 31- Sex Pollen/ Aphrodisiac w/ Jay

[maximura]

[choi-hae]

Kenny’s Top Music of 2024!

Oh boy, it’s that time of year again - where I listened to too much music and now I’m making myself choose what the best ones (in my opinion) are but I’m bad at making decisions. Obviously I didn’t listen to everything, that would be impossible, but I did my best and honestly a lot of my picks will not be surprising. I’m very predictable. 

This year’s list is similar to last year’s, in terms of categories. But I think choosing was a bit easier than last year’s. Still hard obviously because I simply love too much of what came out this year, but the way my lists are structured, I believe it includes most of everything I loved from this year.

The rules I put upon myself in terms of choices are similar to years past, but please take note of them before reading further. Thank you in advance for reading my list! 

RULES: 

If an album was chosen for top album (group or solo), I tried to choose a different title from a different album OR a completely different artist all together for top title track (group or solo) to showcase as much variety as possible (and to challenge myself). If an album was chosen, it can be assumed I love all, if not most, of the songs on that album anyway. 

Top b sides are okay to chosen from top albums, as it only makes sense, and there can be multiple from a single artist but only ONE SONG per album.

None of these lists are in any particular order. It’s hard enough to choose top of anything, let alone put them into a numbered order.

And with that, here's my top music of 2024!

Top 6(+1) Group Albums/EPs

ATE - Stray Kids

Are we surprised? Another no skip album from SKZ. Even the festival version of the title track is fire. There’s not too much to say on the matter other than that I love every song so of course it had to be here. I’m in this Stay shit for life. 

GOLD - ITZY

Lia is back! Not only do I adore all the new songs on this album but they gave us “Final Ver.” of all the group tracks from Born To Be, and it just makes it all feel so complete. That fact alone makes this a top album for me. Plus the double titles were both amazing while being completely different vibes. 

Killin’ It - P1Harmony

Their first full album and what a banger. Every track is unique but is completely their style. Getting to see a lot of these songs live obviously gave me a bigger appreciation but even without that fact, I love every single song on this album. 

Armageddon - aespa

Another first full album and another case of every song is unique but suits the members’ vibes so well. No skips, I adore every song. The double title tracks were perfect for promotions. I love that they gave us a lot of short preview videos as well during the lead up to release.

Troubleshooting - Xdinary Heroes

THIS ALBUM! Again, another first full album but holy shit, these guys really found their sound with this one. The emo rock vibes throughout while still having each track have its own flair. Incredible. And the vocals! Play this album at my funeral. Bury me with it.

CRAZY - LE SSERAFIM

Choosing between this one and EASY was tough but I chose CRAZY because the b sides just hit more somehow. Even the intro track setting the vibe for the entire EP, this one has such a hype factor. I loved it. 

Fe304: BREAK - NMIXX

This one blew me away. I love these girls, I love their music, but there’s always at least one or two b sides I don’t vibe with. But this one, no skips. They hit this shit outta the park, for real. I could listen to this album all day. 

Top 6 Solo Albums/EPs

rosie - Rosé

My girl. She’s finally here. Her artistry has always been incredible to me and it shows in this album. It feels like she was finally let free and poured her everything into it. I adore her and her music. This album was beyond fantastic. 

Sir.Robert - Bobby

His first album since Lucky Man and what a follow up. All the songs are bangers and bops. Everyone knows Bobby for his hard rap tracks, but this album includes so many of his softer tracks and it’s a vibe I love to see from him. 

NA - Nayeon

I can’t believe how good this album is but also I can because it’s Nayeon. What a queen, what it girl energy. Her last one was good but this one, never skip. Every song is a 10/10 and I could listen to it forever. I love it so much, I even bought it, and I don’t own a single Twice album. 

TEN - Ten

This album proves that when you set this man free, he makes magic because god damn. Every song is a bop and each one makes you wanna move, as to be expected from a dancer. Since it seems like WayV has had more releases this year, I hope we get more Ten solos as well. 

Fake Happy - Seori

A short little EP but a good one. As always, her voice is so calming and honestly I love anything she releases. But this one has some great relatable messages throughout it, in both the title and b sides. It’s one of the things I love most about her music.

Element - BM

Congrats to BM and his first EP! And what a banger EP it is. This man will always be in his fuckboy era and maybe that’s where he’s meant to be because he’s good at this vibe. What a freak (affectionate).

Top 6 Hip-hop/R&B Albums/Singles

dopamine - Junny

I love when my boy Junny releases an album. There’s a whiff of fuckboy energy in this one but it’s played off with enough rizz that it suits him super well. His voice will always bring my joy and happiness. We love a Canadian. 

Yours Truly - Camo

My girl, my angel, my queen. An album release is always a blessing. There’s a lot more R&B vibes this time around and I love it. There’s not much to say - I love her and her voice and her artistry. 10/10.

16 Fantasy - Lee Young Ji

I think this is her first EP? Which is crazy. I feel like she’s been killing it for years, and this project is no exception. It’s so unequivocally her. I first saw her like four years ago on the Good Girl program and to see how far she’s come, it’s really amazing.

3:33 - Dean & FKJ

Dean giving us one single project every year but you know what? I’ll take it. I adore this one. It’s everything I want out of a track from him, and it’s only two tracks. The piano, his vocals, and a slight chill beat. Bless.

SPOT! - Zico & Jennie

An insane collab but also another Zico bop. Like if Zico made it, it’s gonna bang. Put Jennie on the feature, it’s a certified classic. Their chemistry is incredible and it seemed like they had fun doing it too. So I have fun listening to it. 

Domino - SAAY

This one came out of nowhere for me but my god, is it beautiful. Her voice is phenomenal and the track itself is dark and bass-y, really contrasting her lighter tone. But girlie also has range. I would love more like this from her. 

Top 6(+1) Girl Group Titles

Mr. Vampire - ITZY

This was my top song on Spotify and YouTube Wrapped this year, and rightfully so. When this song dropped, I was obsessed with it. Honestly, I’m still obsessed with it. That silly flute sound and the playful vibes. AND I got to see it live this year. It had to go on the list, for sure. 

EASY - LE SSERAFIM

You know me, I love a song that makes me feel like a bad bitch. But Easy is that subtle bad bitch vibe that makes you feel like you could take on the world by barely lifting a finger. Hence the title. Also the choreo slaps. They murdered it with this one. 

Heya - IVE

THIS SONG. As soon as I heard it, I said SOTY. When that bridge moved into Yujin’s high note and then the final chorus drops, it’s like a dopamine shot to my brain. Inject this song into my veins, seriously. 

Whiplash - aespa

Another subtle bad bitch for me. Runway energy. Also the styling for this era was incredible. Honestly, the concept elevates the track for me a lot. This era also made me realize I bias Giselle. So it’s a good one for sure. 

Cosmic - Red Velvet

It’s a Red Velvet song, what can I say really? Cosmic does feel special though. Wendy’s final high note that moves into the chorus really make me feel like I’m flying. And it has that overall retro vibe. It’s such a beautifully made song. 

Howling - XG

One thing XG is good at is mixing hard rap with beautiful melodies and this is THAT song. The raps are fantastic but it’s really those melodies in the pre chorus and chorus that pulled me in. Also a new entry for the K-pop cat/dog scale. 

Super Lady - (G)I-DLE

I added this one as my plus one pick because A) bad bitch energy, and B) I honestly think this was (G)I-DLE’s best era. A full album era will always hit harder and this is no exception. Super Lady is their Beyoncé era.

Top 6 Boy Group Titles

Walkin’ On Water - Stray Kids

Hip-hop is Stray Kids and Stray Kids is hip-hop. It’s one of the genres SKZ does best, aside from their own of course. And I love when they talk their shit. “When you’re sinking, I’m fishing”? “Say hello to Nemo ‘cause I can’t see”? Insane. 

Ice On My Teeth - ATEEZ

If you know me, you know I love a classical piece on a hip-hop track. The blend of classical and hip-hop is quite literally perfect on this one. The concept itself is amazing too. ATEEZ can master any vibe but this one suits them incredibly well. 

Deja Vu - TXT

It’s true what they say - any song called Deja Vu is gonna be a bop. This is another song for me where the melodies carry. The song itself is just so well made, and the rock style break down for the dance break is amazing. 

Sad Song - P1Harmony

Piwon only makes bops, I swear. How can they make me dance to a song about being sad? The first comeback after I saw them live and it makes me wish this song had come out before their tour. I love it so much.

Nallina - NEXZ

A new boy group, and they’ll appear later as well, but this song really surprised me. It’s very laid back but upbeat and fun. It’s hard for me to get into new groups most times but these guys make some fun music and their choreography is always stellar. 

Giant - Stray Kids

Another SKZ entry. I have many reasons to include it; 1) it’s a good song, 2) they’re talking their shit again, 3) it came out right after HYBE called them short, 4) Han’s silly sneeze rap, 5) “do ra me fa, king giant”. Do I need to say more?

Top 6 Solo Titles

Shopper - IU

This song is so incredible, and it is heightened by the music video a bit. It feels like an experience. And as a girlie who loves retail therapy, the song itself kind of speaks to me. AND it’s an IU song. Can’t go wrong. 

Like A Flower - Irene

The vibe of this song is immaculate. We love an afro beats dance-y type track. The concept of comparing one’s self to a flower has always been my favourite too. As a solo debut, I wasn’t expecting this for her but it suits her so well. 

LURE - I.M

The only music Monsta X related music release this year, and it was a great one. The laid back R&B vibe suits his voice so well, so this vibe wasn’t surprising but it was appreciated. The lyrics are also kinda wild but that’s what I love about him.

Freak - Yuqi

Another one that’s heightened a bit by the music video. We love a “it’s okay to be weird” kind of message in a song too. When it comes to solos, Yuqi really knows her sound and what works for her. 

Letter To Myself - Taeyeon

This song felt very uplifting and hopeful, which is a feeling I’m needing going into the new year. What else can I really say about this? It’s a Taeyeon song so of course it’s high quality. I really love the more down to earth vibe she’s been going with lately. 

Mona Lisa - Soojin

I think this song was fantastic for her. The sound was perfect and it made it possible for her dancing to be showcased more than her debut. Just my opinion but this one felt so much more her and I hope she releases more in the new year. 

SPECIAL: Band Comeback Mentions

DAY6 - Fourever & Bandaid

What can I say? Day6 came back from the military and killed it this year. Like objectively, they had multiple hit songs over their two albums and it’s so deserved. Personal favourites: Welcome to the Show, Happy, Get The Hell Out, Sad Ending from the Forever album, and Melt Down, Monster, I’m Fine from the Bandaid album.

ONEWE - OFF ROAD

They did have their EP earlier in the year, but I really loved this single album. Off Road is a great summer title coming out at the tail end of summer, but the two b sides on it were also super top tier to me. I think it came out at the perfect time too. Just enjoyable all around. 

Rolling Quartz - Victory & RE:BOLD

One album and a single this year, and I believe they keep getting better. I liked Victory as an album but the RE:BOLD single is probably their best song to date for me. Something about it really showcases that energy I love from them but in a new way. It’s hard to explain but I really love it. 

Xdinary Heroes - LIVE and FALL

Insane releases this year. I already included their full album above, but I have to mention this one. Similar to their Day6 seniors, they decided to do a single every month, just for about four months, before releasing them all with some b sides on an EP, and every song CRUSHED. So many different genres explored and they mastered all of them. Personal favourites: Save Me, Boy Comics, Feeling Nice, and Love and Fear.

Dragon Pony - Pop Up 

A new k-band that surprised me a lot. The quality of their music is a lot higher than I expected from a new band. I know nothing about them other than that I am excited to hear what they do next. Personal favourites: Pop Up, Traffic Jam, and Ouroboros.

Top 6(+1) Boy Group B Sides

I Like It - Stray Kids

I like it. What can I say? I know there was the big thing about how it’s a situationship and whoa crazy, but like it’s just objectively a good song. It’s playful, it’s cute, it’s fun, I like the switch up when the instrumental kinda goes dark. It’s good. 

Shaboom - ATEEZ

Reggaeton? In my K-pop?? I adore this song. It’s so unique and I’ve never heard anything like it in K-pop. I love ATEEZ for trying new genres like this because I think this in particular suits them super well. 

Late Night Calls - P1Harmony

I’m still bitter they didn’t do this one on tour. It’s one of those fun dance-y tracks but not like big dance, more like groove. Does that makes sense? It makes me happy. It makes me wanna move. It’s easily a favourite from them. 

Bounce Back - Stray Kids

I love when SKZ talks their shit. And I love when Han talks his shit. We love a Han track. Seriously though, this song feels good. Like I could run through a wall. And the whistle motif feels super nice in my ears. It’s a good diss track. 

Higher Than Heaven - TXT

This song feels like serotonin. It makes me happy for some reason. I love the chorus when they go higher when they say “high”. It feels cathartic almost? I dunno. It’s hard to explain but it’s definitely a favourite. 

Feeling Nice - Xdinary Heroes

This song is dopamine. I’m obsessed. Something about the bass line tickles my brain in the right way. Inject it into my veins. It’s probably their best song to date, and it’s a b side. That’s insane. 

Falling Up - Stray Kids

Now I’m just being self indulgent but it’s my list so fuck you. I love this song. It’s definitely OST coded, because it’s an OST, but it stands so well as a SKZ song as well. I adore the vocals in it, I love the guitar through the instrumental. It’s just lovely.

Top 6(+1) Girl Group B Sides

Love Is Lonely - NMIXX

This song is beautiful. NMIXX is incredibly strong in some many areas, but most people talk about their performance and dancing. But I’d argue that their vocals are just as strong, if not stronger. And this song showcases that beautifully. 

Sunflower - Red Velvet

Just another serotonin song. It’s upbeat, it’s fun and playful. I love the energy it gives me. And the fact that it’s called Sunflower makes it even better, iykyk. The chorus is my favourite part, the way they’re like calling out together. It makes the build up feel so gratifying. 

Flight, Not Feelings - aespa

WOW, this song. When I first heard it, I was confused. Like I didn’t understand the beat, but a couple listens later and I knew it was my favourite on the album. I love boom bap, combined with their lovely vocals. It’s fantastic. 

Bad Girls R Us - ITZY

It’s cheeky, it’s playful. I love when the guitar comes in. The genre bending it does is super fun to listen to. I think ITZY always does this type of vibe super well. Their strong songs are good, but these fun melodic b sides are always their best to me. 

Right now - NewJeans

I love a drum and bass track. It’s literally my favourite genre of music. NewJeans does this vibe super well. Their light vocals float over the fast beat and it’s like perfection to me. Am I being dramatic? Oh well. I love this song. 

Vision - (G)I-DLE

More drum and bass. What can I say? This was an early favourite in the year, no contest. I love the style of the instrumental obviously, but my favourite part is during the chorus when the girls are using a light higher vocal, you can hear a lower mumbled vocal underneath it just slightly and I think that adds a lot.  

Smart - LE SSERAFIM

Phenomenal. The only downside to this song is that it wasn’t released in the summer. But it was definitely played in the summer. It’s a song that gets you moving, even if you don’t know how to move. Catch me shaking ass in the kitchen to this. 

Top 6 Hip-Hop/R&B B Sides

Here We Go Again - Junny

Junny was really in his bag with this one. The instrumental is really fun and groovy, and it really lets his voice float over the top. I absolutely adore his lower tones in particular. It’s just an all around good song. 

Wings - Camo

Like I mentioned above, this album was phenomenal. This song in particular is one of my favs - another drum and bass type beat. Her laid back rap over the kind of fantastical instrumental is just too lovely for me to ignore. 

Kiss Me Now - Mirani

Something about the melody on this one. It’s so infectious and playful. The beat is bouncy. It’s just a genuinely fun song. I love when she’s does more sing-songy rap as well. I think it suits her style super well. 

Sugar Rush - BIBI

This song is so damn fun. It’s an ass shaker. The lyrics are so good - one of my favs: “I don’t need a man for no dessert / I got popsicles in my freezer”. Girlie’s always got the best concepts, the best messages. And she gives me the bad bitch feeling I need to survive.

EGO - Camo

It’s the instrumental on this one. It’s pretty minimal all things considered but I like the vibe. It’s slow and smooth. I have a chill vibes playlist and this song would definitely go on it. Actually, it probably already is.

figure8 - Junny

This song feels safe. Does that makes sense? It’s the acoustic vibe, his voice, the lyrics. Everything about it feels like a hug on a cold winter day. You’re standing the the snow with your boo and you’re huddled together to keep warm while you wait for the bus. It’s lovely. 

Top 6 Solo B Sides

Embers - BM

I adore this song so much. I love that he’s singing! We don’t get singing BM too often but I love it. This song showcases that a lot. It’s slow but groovy, and it’s still thotty like the rest of his album but it’s somehow sweeter than the rest. 

drinks or coffee - Rosé

I’ll die if I don’t listen to this song at least once a day. Once again, a groovy song, a song that makes me wanna dance, that makes me want to fall in love at a bad party. Most of the songs on her album are a bit sad and slow, but this one is such a vibe. 

Ups & Downs - Taeyong

I was pretty shocked when I heard this because I’m used to Taeyong from NCT. Which is good, I like him. But this song is so much more chill that what I’d heard in the past and I really enjoy it. I found it getting stuck in my head at random times. 

Vermillion - Wendy

I liked a lot of b sides from her album but I found myself always coming back to this one. I mean, we all know she’s a phenomenal singer but paired with this kind of grand instrumental really caught my attention. 

Lie With You - Ten

We love yearning. I feel it in my bones with this song. The upbeat instrumental but sad lyrics about loving someone you aren’t allowed to openly love. Star crossed lovers kinda track. I adore it. 

Butterflies - Nayeon

Queen Nayeon, she can’t make a bad song. It was hard to just pick one from her album. It's cute, it’s fun. And she raps on this one! Which I love to see her playing all the parts on her solo pieces. Not much else to say, it’s just really good. 

Top 6(+1) Collab Tracks

harmless - Bobby (feat. Chanmina)

They did this collaboration for ME SPECIFICALLY. When I heard this was dropping, I’m pretty sure I screamed. I love them both so much and their energies together is electric. Two idgaf rappers, it’s a collaboration made in heaven. 

SICKUHH - NMIXX (feat. Kid Milli)

This was so unexpected but so appreciated. We know I adore NMIXX, and I’ve been listening to Kid Milli on and off for a couple years at this point. I think the girls killed the rap track and his feature added that extra spice. Plus it’s a Dem Joints beat. 

Come Back To Me - Kang Daniel (feat. Chungha)

I love their voices together. End of sentence. It’s a collab that I never knew I needed. I think it’s the perfect track for them both to be on. It’s super minimal to let their voices shine. It’s perfect. 

Butterflies - Camo (feat. pH-1)

Wow, Camo on the list again? And with pH-1 this time?? An obvious pick. I love both of these artists so much and their vibes match each other so well on a chill but bouncy track like this one. 

Fraksiya - Mark Lee (feat. Lee Young Ji)

Mark Lee doing a for real diss track, and not against himself this time. And with Miss Young Ji?? Oh my goodness. He said with no rest time! He knows! It’s too good. Their chemistry is fire. I don’t need to spell it out for you. 

Rush - Junny (feat. Bobby)

Junny again, but with Bobby this time, hello. Another unexpected collab but I’m never gonna complain when two of my favs get together and absolutely destroy a track. This one is laid back and a lil sexy tbh, and they both sound awesome on this one. 

DND - Young Posse (feat. BM of KARD)

I love this one, mostly because BM making and hopping on the track with his lil sisters is cute af. But also this song is just really pretty. The girls have super lovely voices for being advertised as a rap group, and BM’s feature adds a nice little flair. It’s fun. 

Top 6(+1) Singles

Only One - VCHA

I feel sad considering everything that’s in the news surrounding these girls. This song released and I felt like it was their best so far. I’m very heartbroken to hear how they were treated, what they went through, and I hope they get justice.

Sticky - Kiss Of Life

Song of the summer, easy. These girls are so damn talented and I love that they’re bringing grown women sexy back into K-pop, reminiscent of Sistar and older Mamamoo. It’s so fun and we need more iconic summer bops like this. 

distraction - AleXa

I kind of hate that the reason I love this song is because I relate to it 100%. These lyrics are almost word for word what I wish I could’ve told myself when I was in my previous relationship. I wish I had this song back then. Shit. 

Ride the Vibe - NEXZ

This is the song that made me go, “oh these guys have a good vibe”. I love the chill start and then switch in the drum and bass style. I will admit that it did confuse me at first but I quickly started to love it and I’m still obsessed. 

Wait - Hyolyn

Song of the summer part 2. From the summer queen herself. And she got everyone shaking their asses with this one. I love it. It makes me wanna sit on a beach with a refreshing drink and just soak in the summer vibes. 

Done - naevis

The debut of the first fully computer generated idol. The music video really blew me away - technology is wild, like how is she not real? You’re telling me the girl on the screen isn’t real?? But I’m also fascinated by the fact that her voice is an amalgamation of all the aespa girls’ voices. It’s all very interesting to me. 

Diamond - TRI.BE

More tears from me on this one. The lyrics made me cry a lil bit. It’s a very sweet message, uplifting and nice to hear on a bad day. The instrumental is upbeat and fun - sticking to their overall vibe - but with a message that’s so wholesome, it could warm the darkest heart. 

SPECIAL: Rookie Mentions

Young Posse

These girls fascinate me. They’re a rap heavy group and all their mainline MVs are like purposefully not well done, but well done, green screen/VFX heavy videos that kind of rip off the style of old GTA games? Like how’d they come up with the concept for these girlies?? I’m so interested in them even though their titles aren’t really my style. I love their b sides, I love their vibes. I’m curious to see where they go. Notable songs are DND, Scars, and Skyline.

NEXZ

They’ve appeared on this list a couple times already. I enjoy them a lot - their songs are good, they’re very good dancers, fun to watch. I think they’re likely going to go far being under JYP to a certain extent. But they also clearly have so much talent already that I’m excited to see what else they come out with. Notable songs are Ride The Vibe, Nallina, and Hard.

BADVILLAIN

I was so surprised to hear that Emma was debuting in a group. I really loved her on SWF, she’s such a talented dancer. And the rest of her group are also incredibly talented. The songs got the bad bitch energy I love. Their debut was so solid. There’s not a single song by them that I don’t like. I’m so excited to watch their journey. Notable songs are Yah-ho, Hurricane, and +82.

82MAJOR

Now I haven’t listened to them much but I was drawn in by the fact that P1Harmony Keeho’s little brother is in this group. Their songs are fun, really unique in certain ways. They’re great dancers. I’ve liked what I’ve seen so far and I’m curious to see what else they do. Notable songs are First Class, Choke, and Stuck.

MEOVV

I think these girls are powerful. They are small, they are young, but they are powerful. They have a lot of talent - singing, rapping, dancing - and they’ve clearly trained for a while. I was super impressed by their debut. I think they’ll definitely go far. Being under the Black Label, I just hope they get consistent comebacks. Notable songs are Meow, Body, and Toxic (their only songs, lol).

Top 6(+1) MVs

Love Wins All - IU

I cried. Multiple times. For like a month. Every time I saw this video, I couldn’t help but cry by the end. Serious props to IU and V for their acting. I really felt like I was watching this tragic tale of two people who care for each other so much and want to be happy so bad, but death follows them no matter how much they run. The world building in a relatively short music video is impressive. They show you very quickly how everything works, why the characters are running, what their dreams are and how those dreams can never be possible. The story matches IU’s beautiful vocals so much. They weave together to paint this tragedy. And by the end, when the characters meet their end, you really feel for them. You feel their love for each other, whether it be romantic or platonic - I know some interpretations vary. It’s just so incredibly well put together from start to finish. The first masterpiece of the year for me. 

One Spark - Twice

I cried again. Shocking? Not really, hear me out. Even if you’re not a huge stan of Twice, you know their impact. Their journey. How special they are. And if you know K-pop, you know a lot of groups don’t make it as long as Twice has - 2025 will be their 10th year. So when this music video came out, it’s this triumphant call out that they’re still here, they’re still going, they’ve only just hit their golden days, and they don’t plan on stopping. These are women who truly love what they do, they love each other and what they’ve accomplished, and there’s no end in sight for them. And that’s plainly illustrated by the count-up on the elevator throughout the music video. Starting at their debut date, going up to 2024 - the music video’s release date - before changing to say “timeless”. Twice is timeless - an endless flame, an everlasting blast. They sparkle beautifully and will shine forever. And they won’t let you forget it. 

Armageddon - aespa

So I’ve talked about storytelling thus far in these music videos. Let’s talk about effects enhancing story. This music video, and this era even, was insane for aespa. They leaned into this dark horror concept, but still stuck to their roots with AI. And yes, that’s a sore subject when it comes to art and video. But this video is clearly an example of AI done right. The scenes in this music video aren’t AI generated, but AI assisted to achieve the vibe and feeling they want for their storytelling. The VFX team used AI tech to enhance the visual effects to create images that are creepy and off-putting almost. Which matches where their story is leading. If you know a bit about aespa lore, you know that at this point in their story, the computer/AI world and the real world are mixing when they shouldn’t be. And that creates these distorted images, faceless bodies, butterfly monsters and sirens. The use of VFX in this way is the reason the story feels chaotic and “is this the same story?”, but that’s the point. It’s a new era with new tech and it’s done beautifully. 

JJAM - Stray Kids

At first, this video doesn’t seem like anything special. It’s a silly music video for a b side off their main album of the year. So why is it here? Editing and cinematography. Every cut and camera move is motivated by the music and in a lot of cases, that’s what a music video should be. Yes, it’s telling a story. But the story would be diminished if the editing was off or the camera movements didn’t match. It makes the whole experience more satisfying to the eye, whether you realize it or not. During Changbin’s first verse, the cuts and push ins with the camera match his cadence. When Hyunjin is mopping the floor with slime, his movement stutters along with the instrumental. When the beat drops and the choreography starts in the chorus, they use speed ramps and light flashes during the bass drops to accentuate the movements, to make the impact feel bigger. It’s those little choice that really make the video feel just a bit spicier, you know? 

Howling - XG

I could’ve chose any of XG’s MVs to go here - Woke Up, IYKYK, Something Ain’t Right - because every XG MV is going to have insane VFX that are just mind blowing. But I decided on Howling because of how editing is utilized to compliment the song because I think it’s really well done. When I talked about this song above in the title track section, I mentioned that it’s got strong raps and beautiful melodies that blend perfectly, and they show that in the edits visually. Almost to the point where it could be too much for some. What I mean by that is, we start with a rap section - it goes Cocona, Jurin, Harvey, Maya. The editing increases in speed as we move through each member, Harvey’s section being the most chaotic (almost unwatchable), then starting to slow down again during Maya, before it’s slowed to hardly any cuts for the vocal members’ sections in the pre chorus, then picks up to a normal cutting speed for the choreography scenes in the chorus, and then speeding up again with Jurin when the rap comes back in. Rinse and repeat for that verse. It’s like a rollercoaster, and it matches the song beautifully, adding to its overall impact, and probably why this is my favourite song from them to date. 

Zombie - Everglow

Can you believe this was their only release this year? Illegal. Anyway, I love this video. It’s haunting, just like the song. The visual storytelling is fantastic. The unhinged laugh to start off. The all white room in white outfits and white hair. The lighting feels overbearing and bright, which is a huge contrast from the darkness of the song. The acting is fantastic as well - the obsessive nature over the phones which symbolizes this love they had that turned them into zombies - a super creative way to show this kind of toxic obsessive love. The wind blowing to symbolize the insanity, the unrest. The dial tone paralleling a flatline, phone cracks and bleeds, showing the death of this love. The stark white room being splattered in blood for the final chorus. But also the yandere aspect to the song itself saying, “you drove me crazy and you might think this love is dead but I’ll keep coming back for you like a zombie.” I think visually and thematically, everything is so cohesive and strong. What a phenomenal drop to be their only one of the year. 

Railway - Bang Chan (Stray Kids)

Now hear me out. Yes, he’s attractive. But aside from that, the quality of this music video is insane. And mind you, it’s a solo b side on a special album, not even a mainline album. My jaw hit the floor when I watched it for the first time, simply because it was so unexpected. All the solo MVs were great up to this point, but Chan’s exceeded all expectations. The colour grading is so gritty and fantastical - really like you’re being transported into this different world. The acting is insane - I knew he could act but I didn’t know it was that serious. Like get him in a k-drama asap. The way the sound effects blend so well with the track itself - it was like the music was made with the music video in mind for it to blend so seamlessly. The editing as a whole is so attention grabbing, captivating, chaotic and hungry - the moment you think you know what’s going on, it throws you for a loop. And that can be said for the story as well. I’ve loved to see how Stays are interpreting it online - Chan has a way of showcasing these struggles he has with his own mind, his own psyche, in a way you don’t expect. It was the same with Red Lights. Everyone thought this was a sexy toxic love song, and maybe it is, but maybe not in the way you first thought. My interpretation is that, like everyone, he has two sides to him - one side he considers bad, and another that tries to keep that side tied down, even if he’s maybe drawn to that “bad” side of himself. And sometimes the “bad” Chan escapes, reeking havoc, until he gets it under control again. And that’s the train that never sleeps. The unending ride that is his own psyche. It’s so relatable and fantastic. I am in awe at his creative genius every day. 

If you've read this far, thank you for your time! I'd love to hear what your favourites of the year were. Do we have similar choices? Are they completely different? Did I miss a song that you absolutely loved? Feel free to let me know! I'm always open to listening and talking about all music.

And that's the end of music in 2024. It's been a good one, seriously. Again, I definitely missed lots because there's just so much that comes out all the time. I feel incredibly lucky to live in a time where I can listen to so many incredible things and where the possibilities for music are endless. I can't wait to see what 2025 will bring! 💕

[she-wu]

there's groups like ateez where each member uses their real names and it's really helpful for new fans to memorise them. then there's groups like seventeen where there's at least like 24 names u gotta remember bc at least half of them has two names lol.

[bunnakit]

haha sailors were so stupid for getting crashed up on the rocks by sirens

anyway time to scroll through kpop videos for 3 hours

[stay-mon-army]

Sounding Board

Word count: 1,198 words

Pairing: Unspecified male idol x gn!reader

Warnings: anxiety, depressive feelings, feelings of not being enough/being a bad friend

Being other people’s sounding boards had always been something that you liked being. Maybe it was the burned out gifted in you, maybe it was the sad child who hadn’t gotten enough emotional support growing up so you had learned to hide it all or grow a thick skin, or maybe it was simple the fact that you got it – you had bad days and needed to just let it out sometimes too; but for whatever reason, you had always prided yourself on being the person that people could come to with their problems. You were the whiteboard to write on that could be wiped clean the moment they didn’t need to look at their pain anymore, the wishing well where they could drop their coins and trinkets in the hopes their wishes will come true and the fears won’t, the sleepy village they can ransack with their words and concerns because who would even care about the little villagers crops anyway, the emotional support dog that licks up your tears and wags its tail so hard you think it’ll break something but really it just heals your broken heart, the paper lantern they could light and watch float away into the sky to take away their pain with it – the therapist. You were always the fucking therapist.

And on any other day, any other month, any other year, you wouldn’t mind. You knew that everyone needed that sometimes, it meant that they trusted you, that they liked you. There was nothing wrong with asking your friends to listen to your pain, to rant, to get it out, to ask for advice. Hell, you had done it a million times yourself, rarely asking if it was okay to unload your problems onto the closest kind soul.

But for some reason, today wasn’t like any other day. This month wasn’t any other month. And this year sure hadn’t started out like any other year. You loved your friends, you loved being a support, you loved that people loved you enough to reach out when they needed help.

But you had been worrying about your own problems – what felt like a million little problems stacking and stacking and stacking like a leaning tower of jenga blocks, waiting for the wrong piece to be pulled so it could all crash down around you. Your mind felt like a broken vase, glued back together precariously, gentle fingers pushing the pieces into place, hoping and praying that nothing will push too hard, rock the table, that the pieces wouldn’t all fly apart, cutting you up in the process. Every new small worry felt like an anvil on your mind, tightening your muscle in a vice grip, making your body feel like you were underwater but without the weightless joy of floating. Rather, the sinking, pressure-filled nothingness that dragged you deeper and deeper until you couldn’t remember the feeling of the sun. Your hands shook as you couldn’t decide whether to continue working, slowly chipping away at the anxieties and problems you had to work through in order to get back to your moment of peace, or distract yourself with something else, something fun, in order to ignore the problems just until you could think straight, just until your body didn’t feel like every nerve ending was zapping with electricity enough to power a whole city block. Whether waiting or working would be better, you couldn’t decide.

And every *ding* of a new message that you feared to look at meant you couldn’t tell if you were a good friend after all. Who were you to ignore someone else in pain? How dare you not listen and empathize, show care and concern, because that’s what they need. How dare you act just like those other people they complain about. So you try to give them the answers the want as your brain shuts down and you worry if the wording is right or if you sound as robotic as you feel. You look away and ignore the messages that send you into a panic – you know they don’t mean anything but man, you really didn’t think you’d have to think about that idea right now. Not when you had been so good for so long. Not when you had finally gotten to a point where saying it didn’t feel real anymore.

It was starting to feel real again.

As you sit at your desk, typing and typing and typing, not sure if you’re working for you now or working for the you that used to be, who knew that getting words out on a page meant progress, a you who used writing as an escape, you felt hands gently laying over your own, stopping the shaking and click clack click of your keyboard.

A pair of lips press against the crown of your head, as the hands lift your own, crossing your arms across your own chest and readjusting to match the pose, holding you tight against him. He slowly breathes in deep, holding and letting it out. You realize that he wants you to copy as his taps his finger against one of the backs of your hands. You slowly do the same, breathing deeply, holding, and releasing. After a moment of simply breathing, he reaches out to close your laptop, stepping back to pull your chair away from your desk.

He turns you, pulling you up to stand before him, before he pulls you back into his embrace. You didn’t know you needed more of this – this closeness. As though you had been lost out in outerspace, among the cold and dark and spacedust that doesn’t care for you.

He cares for you; this you know without a shadow of a doubt. Because if he didn’t he wouldn’t be here, holding you, kissing your head, rubbing your back, taking care of you when you feel like nothing can fix this.

He knows you have work to do, but he also knows that you need an excuse to take a break. That instead of listening to your own mind and body, you would work your way into a distressing state physically and mentally, and he wouldn’t let that happen. No, he would give you your excuse, silently becoming the reason for your ease, your pain to ebb away in waves as you simply breathe. He knows exactly how to help you, with no words and few actions.

After a moment, he guides you to your bed, pulling back the covers and layering you under a mound of blankets. He grabs the remote, turns on your favorite show, and slides in beside you, knowing all you need is proximity and familiarity. No words need to be uttered, no explanation could help better than the silent understanding that sometimes you just need to be.

And so together, you would be, without anyone else. No other problems, no other concerns, just the show softly playing in the background, the feeling of his breathing against your skin as you pull yourself as close as you can manage. This was how you stayed alive. This was how those ideas stopped feeling real again.