#ik this is a long one but the topic is very interesting

[mesetacadre]

On the Slogan for a United States of Europe

In No. 40 of Sotsial-Demokrat we reported that a conference of our-Party’s groups abroad had decided to defer the question of the “United States of Europe” slogan pending a discussion, in the press, on the economic aspect of the matter.

At our conference the debate on this question assumed a purely political character. Perhaps this was partly caused by the Central Committee’s Manifesto having formulated this slogan as a forthright political one (“the immediate political slogan...”, as it says there); not only did it advance the slogan of a republican United States of Europe, but expressly emphasised that this slogan is meaningless and false “without the revolutionary overthrow of the German, Austrian and Russian monarchies”.

It would be quite wrong to object to such a presentation of the question within the limits of a political appraisal of this slogan—e.g., to argue that it obscures or weakens, etc., the slogan of a socialist revolution. Political changes of a truly democratic nature, and especially political revolutions, can under no circumstances whatsoever either obscure or weaken the slogan of a socialist revolution. On the contrary, they always bring it closer, extend its basis, and draw new sections of the petty bourgeoisie and the semi-proletarian masses into the socialist struggle. On the other hand, political revolutions are inevitable in the course of the socialist revolution, which should not be regarded as a single act, but as a period of turbulent political and economic upheavals, the most intense class struggle, civil war, revolutions, and counter-revolutions.

But while the slogan of a republican United States of Europe—if accompanied by the revolutionary overthrow of the three most reactionary monarchies in Europe, headed by the Russian—is quite invulnerable as a political slogan, there still remains the highly important question of its economic content and significance. From the standpoint of the economic conditions of imperialism—i.e., the export of capital and the division of the world by the “advanced” and “civilised” colonial powers—a United States of Europe, under capitalism, is either impossible or reactionary.

Capital has become international and monopolist. The world has been carved up by a handful of Great Powers, i.e., powers successful in the great plunder and oppression of nations. The four Great Powers of Europe—Britain, France, Russia and Germany, with an aggregate population of between 250,000,000 and 300,000,000, and an area of about 7,000,000 square kilometres—possess colonies with a population of almost 500 million (494,500,000) and an area of 64,600,000 square kilometres, i.e., almost half the surface of the globe [...] Add to this the three Asian states—China, Turkey and Persia, now being rent piecemeal by thugs that are waging a war of “liberation”, namely, Japan, Russia, Britain and France. Those three Asian states, which may be called semi-colonies (in reality they are now 90 per cent colonies), have a total population of 360,000,000 and an area of 14,500,000 square kilometres (almost one and a half times the area of all Europe).

Furthermore, Britain, France and Germany have invested capital abroad to the value of no less than 70,000 million rubles. The business of securing “legitimate” profits from this tidy sum—these exceed 3,000 million rubles annually—committees of the millionaires, known as governments, which are equipped with armies and navies and which provide the sons and brothers of the millionaires with jobs in the colonies and semi-colonies as viceroys, consuls, ambassadors, officials of all kinds, clergymen, and other leeches.

That is how the plunder of about a thousand million of the earth’s population by a handful of Great Powers is organised in the epoch of the highest development of capitalism. No other organisation is possible under capitalism. Renounce colonies, “spheres of influence”, and the export of capital? To think that it is possible means coming down to the level of some snivelling parson who every Sunday preaches to the rich on the lofty principles of Christianity and advises them to give the poor, well, if not millions, at least several hundred rubles yearly.

A United States of Europe under capitalism is tantamount to an agreement on the partition of colonies. Under capitalism, however, no other basis and no other principle of division are possible except force. [...] Capitalism is private ownership of the means of production, and anarchy in production. To advocate a “just” division of income on such a basis is sheer Proudhonism, stupid philistinism. No division can be effected otherwise than in “proportion to strength”, and strength changes with the course of economic development. [...] There is and there can be no other way of testing the real might of a capitalist state than by war. War does not contradict the fundamentals of private property—on the contrary, it is a direct and inevitable outcome of those fundamentals. Under capitalism the smooth economic growth of individual enterprises or individual states is impossible. Under capitalism, there are no other means of restoring the periodically disturbed equilibrium than crises in industry and wars in politics.

Of course, temporary agreements are possible between capitalists and between states. In this sense a United States of Europe is possible as an agreement between the European capitalists... but to what end? Only for the purpose of jointly suppressing socialism in Europe, of jointly protecting colonial booty against Japan and America, who have been badly done out of their share by the present partition of colonies. [...] On the present economic basis, i.e., under capitalism, a United States of Europe would signify an organisation of reaction to retard America’s more rapid development. The times when the cause of democracy and socialism was associated only with Europe alone have gone for ever.

A United States of the World (not of Europe alone) is the state form of the unification and freedom of nations which we associate with socialism—about the total disappearance of the state, including the democratic. As a separate slogan, however, the slogan of a United States of the World would hardly be a correct one, first, because it merges with socialism; second, because it may be wrongly interpreted to mean that the victory of socialism in a single country is impossible, and it may also create misconceptions as to the relations of such a country to the others.

Uneven economic and political development is an absolute law of capitalism. Hence, the victory of socialism is possible first in several or even in one capitalist country alone. After expropriating the capitalists and organising their own socialist production, the victorious proletariat of that country will arise against the rest of the world—the capitalist world—attracting to its cause the oppressed classes of other countries, stirring uprisings in those countries against the capitalists, and in case of need using even armed force against the exploiting classes and their states. The political form of a society wherein the proletariat is victorious in overthrowing the bourgeoisie will be a democratic republic, which will more and more concentrate the forces of the proletariat of a given nation or nations, in the struggle against states that have not yet gone over to socialism. The abolition of classes is impossible without a dictatorship of the oppressed class, of the proletariat. A free union of nations in socialism is impossible without a more or less prolonged and stubborn struggle of the socialist republics against the backward states.

It is for these reasons and after repeated discussions at the conference of R,S.D.L.P. groups abroad, and following that conference, that the Central Organ’s editors have come to the conclusion that the slogan for a United States of Europe is an erroneous one.

On the Slogan for a United States of Europe. V. I. Lenin, 1915

[1pcii]

One piece headcanon: Zoro is POSIC+

(POSIC+ : (the) Perception of Object Sentience, Individuality, and Consciousness)

I think his relationship and perception of things like his swords (which he see's as having distinct personalities and consiousness') aswell as his view of the going merry (chapter 327, last page) being just as sentient as usopp and luffy make it so i wouldnt consider it a streatch to interpret his character this way.

(further context) <- seriously check the tags on this out if you want a better explenation its so good.

[httpiastri]

PERFECTLY FINE – CHAPTER ONE (BAHRAIN)

genre: fluff, angst, etc.

warnings: hmmm nothing i think

word count: 5.3k

author's note: aaaa first chapter !! i don't rlly like it but still !!!! a very much opener/get-to-know-the-characters/intro chapter, so maybe boring at times idk. still so excited, thanks to everyone who's contributed. love u all <333

author's note pt2: when i write about the different drivers and their living situations, i know it's not all accurate to how they actually live irl. ik i wrote modena instead of maranello here for ollie although idk exactly when he moved, but there are mentions of milton keynes for the rbj drivers bcs it made it easier for me. anyways, just go with whatever i say about how they live lol. also !!!! i changed yn's team from mp to campos hehe. okay now let's start :)

series masterlist

the winter break coming to an end is always a bittersweet feeling.

having a lot of free time to catch up with friends and family is always greatly appreciated, but at the same time, it doesn't take many days before you miss racing after the last race of the season. especially when the season is as short as the f3 season is, and especially when you don't partake in any of the winter-season races.

this year, though, coming back to the paddock doesn't feel as complicated as it most often does. your heart is light and your smile is big as you enter through the gates after the long taxi ride from your hotel, and you already can't wait to get started.

as you make your way toward the campos truck, you greet a few people you meet here and there, but it's the sight of a head full of dark, curly hair that makes you stop in your tracks. "jak!"

the american turns around when he hears your voice, grin taking over his face already. you strut all the way over to him, practically throwing yourself into his arms. "hey there," he chuckles, giving you a big hug.

"oh, i've missed you so much!" you exclaim, giving him one last squeeze before pulling away. "it feels like i haven't seen you in ages."

"right? the break was way too long."

juan pokes his head through the door to the truck when he hears your voices, making some kind of comment about all of these loud teenagers always causing a commotion, before coming down to greet you with a hug as well. "how was your break?" he asks.

"wonderful, really. i spent most of it at home, catching up with family and friends. then me and ollie-" your eyes widen at your own words. you clear your throat, looking away from both of the boys for a second. "well, i went to italy."

your relationship with ollie isn't exactly a secret around the paddock, but it's a bit of an unspoken rule not to mention it too much. both because you all want to separate your personal lives from your racing ones – you don't wish to crash into a close friend like jak any more than you'd like to crash into ollie, after all – and because a certain other driver might be around to hear.

someone who's quite the conflict of interest in this specific topic.

your break truly was wonderful. it felt like the only things on your schedule were skiing in the italian mountains, gym-and sim-training, and just relaxing at home in england to recharge for the next season. you had spent a lot of it with ollie, getting to know both him and his family better. it hadn't taken you long before you were best friends with his little sister, sharing little inside jokes and spending time cheering her on at the stable. and you'd even grown surprisingly close with ollie's younger brother, and you loved seeing the three siblings interact.

they all made you feel truly at home with them, like an extended family. you couldn't have asked for anything more.

ollie was well-known in your family even before the break, especially considering how he was one of the first drivers your father picked out for the academy. and during the break, he only further impressed them; he always helped out with household tasks, he did his best to create connections to every relative of yours that he met, and he even bought the sweetest little christmas presents for your parents and grandparents. however, just the mention of italy in your current conversation is enough to make the dams drivers understand. no other detail is necessary.

when you're done talking about your break, it's juan's turn, and then jak's. during the catchup, more and more people drop by to say hello, and it doesn't take long before there's a full-on gathering outside the dams truck. dennis, another one of your former academy members, and pepe, your new teammate and newly found platonic soulmate, both listen in as jak tells you all about how jetlagged he is after coming back from the states just two days ago. "have you gotten properly settled in with aston?" you ask with a smile.

"totally. it's been great, honestly. even the apartment they found for me is top-notch."

"oh? better than milton keynes?"

jak raises his eyebrows at you, and then he bursts out laughing. "duh." throughout the many years of living next-door from each other, there wasn't a single day when the two of you didn't complain about something the apartment complex. the smell, the noise, the trails of blood in the staircase; not exactly things you'll miss when you move out one day.

"i still can't really believe we're not neighbors anymore," you complain, jutting out your bottom lip as you speak. "i've been so close to knocking on your old door so many times, but now some other freak lives there-"

"hey!" pepe shoves your shoulder, and the whole group laughs. "you're much worse than i am!"

"i'm so glad i finally moved out of there," dennis chimes in. "if i had been neighbors with y/n and pepe at the same time… i don't think i would've gotten any sleep at all, man."

"i didn't get any sleep for four years when i lived there..." jak groans.

"is this your first time in a series together?" juan jumps in, looking between you and jak, but seems surprised when you both nod. "best friends but you've never raced each other? maybe this season is what forces you apart."

"yeah, what will you do if i crash into you when you're in the lead?" jak teases, pressing an elbow into your side.

"then i think a few compromising pictures of you might make their way to the aston martin headquarters..."

when it's like this, being on the same grid with all of these people is so easy. you're all friends, not opponents. all in the same boat with the same excitement and expectations for the season. unfortunately, you know it won't stay this uncomplicated for long. when you're actually out on track in a few weeks, forcing each other into the walls and swearing at each other over the team radios, there won't be any more happy faces.

but for now, you enjoy smiling with the people who are just as much your friends as they are your enemies. that is, until you spot someone else joining your little group.

paul.

suddenly, the smile feels much more forced; the air is thicker and harder to breathe in. and when he makes his way over to you, a lump forms in your throat.

a lump you understand probably won't disappear all season.

the second you're back in your hotel room, you reach for the little dark blue book you've hidden in your bedside drawer. the pen in your hand is one you've had for years, one you always bring with you to every race weekend. the ink has been refilled possibly hundreds of times, but the plastic body has remained the same ever since you bought it.

the journal itself is torn; it's been used and loved for many years, too. it's like an extra best friend, a second home. when you're writing in it, it's one of the few times you feel like you can actually be your true, authentic self – it's one of the few times when you're not afraid that someone will judge your emotions or thoughts.

today, you know what you want to write about instantly.

i saw paul for the first time since abu dhabi.

i haven't been able to stop thinking about him. no matter how hard, i couldn't get him out of my mind. i've been wondering what he looks like now, how his voice has changed, if his smile is still as bright. and suddenly, he was there and i saw him.

the answer? he's just as he always was. and i can't tell if that makes me feel alright or awful.

you're pulled out of your head by the sound of a knock on your door, and you instantly scramble to hide your journal in the drawer again. the second you pull the door open and ollie's gaze meets yours, it's like all of your previous thoughts disappear. it's just you and him again; no one else even exists.

especially not paul.

"are you ready to go?" ollie asks, hands finding your sides as he leans in to press a quick kiss to your cheek. "i found the address of some good pasta place, it's just a few blocks from here."

you nod, your hands landing on top of his and giving them a quick squeeze before pulling away. "i just need to put on some earrings," you start, backing into the room. "will you help me choose?"

"of course."

"carlos set a stunning lap today. did you see it?"

the question makes you roll your eyes, letting out a sigh as you bring out three plates from the cupboard above the stove. your dad has always been quick to comment on anything good regarding ferrari; to anyone living in the max verstappen era, even a sliver of a good result is enough to spark some hope, so you aren't exactly surprised. "yes, dad. of course i saw it."

"i reckon this will be our year," your dad continues as you walk past him cooking by the stove, carrying the plates to the dinner table. "carlos will make them regret getting lewis instead of him."

you can't help the chuckle that leaves your mouth. your mom gives you a knowing glare over her newspaper – don't start anything. you choose to ignore it. "you really think this is how it's going to look next week during the actual race?" you ask. "you don't think max is sandbagging the slightest?"

"i'm just telling you," your dad starts, giving his stew a good stir. the snarky tone in his voice is unmistakable. "don't come home crying to me when you realize red bull isn't going to cut it anymore. if you regret your choices, go somewhere else."

even like this, when you're back home for a few days to catch up with your family, neither of you can stay away from this bickering. your dad is always pestering you about sticking with the red bull junior team, and you never can back down from a fight. you're way too stubborn.

"are you saying that i wouldn't have a place in ferrari if i wanted to?" you set the plates down with a thud, the sound making your mother flinch in her seat by the table. "you would say no to your only daughter, huh?"

"i'm just saying that you'd need to prove yourself to get into the academy."

despite your harsh tones, most people around you think you're just joking around when you act like this; some family-mockery can never hurt, right? however, there's always a hint of seriousness behind it. it's been like this between the two of you forever, and especially ever since your dad became the head of the ferrari driver academy – the rivalry between you two is stronger than ever.

you've always been sure of your choice; you've always felt like the red bull family is perfect for you. but recently, you've started to wonder if staying with the team actually was the right thing for you. what really is your future in the team? it's not like you haven't got great drivers ahead of you, drivers who will be called in for a possible f1 seat before you.

and it's not like red bull has a stellar record of keeping all of their drivers. they only have four seats in formula one, after all.

your dad wants you in ferrari, that much is clear. you may have joined the red bull junior team because of his past with the team; he did win their first ever championship, after all. accepting was the only option when you got the offer to join. however... your dad really wants you in ferrari. there's just something about the brand, the colors and the history that obviously is intriguing for everyone. even lewis hamilton couldn't stay away, for god's sake.

you can't admit it, though. not here, not right now.

so instead, you choose to fight fire with fire. "bullshit," you mumble under your breath before speaking clearly again. "second in the championship last year wasn't proof enough?"

"stop this," your mom says, folding up her newspaper and placing it on the table. you roll your eyes yet again but look back at her when she speaks again. "new subject: how is our dear ollie doing?"

you visibly relax at the question, your heart softening in your chest. "he's good. he's back in modena now, so..."

if it had been your dad asking about ollie, you know it would've been because he's interested in how the academy is doing. but since your mom is the one asking, you know it's real concern and curiosity. "how did he find the new car? did he enjoy testing?"

"not really," you say, slipping into the seat opposite your mum as your dad places the pot of stew in front of you on the table. "though, you know, the prema cars are never that good in bahrain. but he assumes they'll bounce back."

there's something in your dad's tone when he speaks again that makes you stop in the middle of your reach for the ladle. "yeah, so i've heard..." it's almost sarcastic, maybe a bit... irritated?

you turn towards him, a frown on your face. "what?"

"william," your mom says with a shake of her head. she knows something. "let's not go there." but just as you're about to call them out on how strange they're acting, she speaks again: "what do your upcoming weeks look like? for how long will you be back in england?"

anyone with eyes – or even without, to be fair – can tell that they're hiding something. and while your curiosity is killing you, you're not in the mood for a full-fledged fight at this time. you take the high road, which isn't your most familiar way of handling things like this, and try your best to push away any wishes to question your parents. you answer, engage in polite conversations and chat about your upcoming season. then, you thank them for dinner and leave the house after giving them their respective kisses on their cheeks.

but all evening, your mind is on something else. and when you get back home to your apartment, your fingers itch to send ollie a text asking if he knows anything. but instead, you go to bed with a knot in your stomach. maybe it's a topic for another day.

being back in the car for testing was great, but it was nothing compared to being back on the track for an actual race weekend. the first round of the championship was something you'd looked forward to for what felt like years, and now it was finally time. you've never been more excited, or nervous, for any race weekend.

you weren't off to the best of starts, though. qualifying has always been one of your stronger suits, so coming 13th was not a result you had anticipated. thankfully, it meant you had time to practice overtaking and had a good chance of improving your place. having to start right behind pepe and paul in both races was an interesting coincidence, but you were obviously not going to let any of it affect your racing.

though p8 is not the best place to finish, you are actually quite pleased with having gained several positions in the sprint race and taking your first point of the year. the car was, as you knew it would be, very different from the f3 car, although you were surprisingly confident and managed it well despite the circumstances.

paul, too, handled it all very well – p12 to p5 is a great record. and when he sees the timing board and realizes that you also did well considering the circumstances, he's overjoyed. he's practically bouncing down the paddock when he finally gets out of his car, accepting the fans' cheers and the handshakes from his engineers with a big grin. and when he sees you further down the paddock, his mind is filled with memories of the two of you celebrating your good placements in all other categories.

just because you aren't a couple now doesn't mean you can't honor these results together, right?

but just a second later, he realizes that you're surrounded by the familiar red-clad staff members instead of your own campos staff, and you're standing right by that red prema car he knows so well. and, sure enough, soon the person he'd forgotten about steps up to you.

paul watches as you wrap your arms around ollie's shoulders, and his heart sinks in his chest. your boyfriend hides his face in your shoulder and your hand comes up to stroke the skin on the back of his neck. paul can tell how your lips are moving, and the pout you're showing off tells him enough about what's going on even though he can't actually hear what you're saying. you aren't prioritizing being happy about your own race – it's more important to comfort ollie.

to paul, there's something so unsettling about the sight. he's seen the two of you together many times before – besides, he gets tagged in pretty much every picture a fan takes of you with your boyfriend – but it isn't your proximity that he has issues with.

the thing that upsets him is the fact that there's a frown stretched across your features; one that doesn't leave even when you part from ollie, or when you're cheered on by your mechanics, or when you leave for your post-race interviews. a frown that any other time would be replaced with a big, proud smile because of your accomplishments.

the music blasting into your ears from your airpods cuts out the rest of the world, the usually so busy and loud paddock all gone the second you pressed the play button on your phone. it's been your favorite way of getting in the race mood for years; you're not superstitious in many other ways, but your playlist has stayed the same since your first season in f4. walking around the garage, doing your warmups, or even just sitting around and waiting to get in the car like you are right now, you listen to the exact same songs on repeat. it's one of the few things that makes you truly focus on the race ahead of you.

so when you feel two hands on your shoulders from behind, you jump in your seat. turning your head, you're relieved to see the big smile of pepe shining down at you. "did i scare you?" he asks loudly enough to cut through the music, and you barely have time to nod and take one airpod out before he speaks again. "good, that was my intention."

you slide your airpods into their case as pepe plops into the seat next to you, eyes zoning in on the f3 feature race on the screen in front of you. "i'm so upset," you huff, shaking your head. "did you see the start?"

"i heard," he answers just as dino's red car appears on the screen, and he crosses his arms over his chest. "but he's made up ten places already, right?"

"yeah..." you lean your head onto his shoulder with a sigh. "we should focus on the positives. like chris!"

"and like our upcoming race." you can practically hear his grin when he speaks. "i have a good feeling about it."

when you found out that jak was leaving the red bull junior academy last fall, you were heartbroken. he's been one of your closest friends ever since you first met; the two of you have always been joined by the hip, despite how you've never raced in the same series before, and you spent most of your free time either training together or just hanging out. how would you ever get over him leaving you all alone in the academy?

thankfully, pepe joined in the late summer. at first, you were just acquaintances, but something about his personality was too good not to fall for. it didn't take long for him to become one of your closest friends, too. another boy your age, another boy with crazy energy and amazing potential – he filled the void in your heart quite well.

as well as jak's old apartment.

you'd raced each other in f3 last season, though barely ever crossed paths or talked. but living next to each other, doing all of your sim work together, and now even being on the same team meant that your relationship went from zero to one hundred in just days.

this season is your first with campos, while he's been with the team for several years already, and so far he's been very good at helping you get used to everything off track. they took a big chance choosing two rookies for their lineup, and the two of you promised each other to do your best to make them satisfied with their choice. so far, you've gotten one third and eight place in your first-ever f2 race – and you're just getting started.

"i do, too," you hum. "let's go out there and show them today."

paul is beaming when you see him stroll back to the paddock after his media duties. his cap is perched on top of his head – the right cap, finally – and his fingers are still tightly wrapped around the neck of his champagne bottle. when he notices you leaning against the doorframe leading into the f2 hospitality, his smile grows even bigger.

you meet him halfway, arms wrapping around his shoulders easily, just like they have so many times before. one of his arms drapes around your waist and he holds you close, a hum vibrating from his chest. finally, he thinks to himself; this definitely makes up for all of the things he felt yesterday.

"congrats, paul," you tell him. "that was amazing. you were amazing."

"thank you," he says before pausing. then, he lets out a chuckle. "to be honest, i wasn't sure if you would care."

you frown at him when you pull slightly away from him, just enough to look into his eyes. is that what he really thought? that you wouldn't care about his driving? "oh, please. you still mean a lot to me, okay?" your hand moves down to his upper arm, giving it a soft squeeze. "i still consider you to be one of my closest friends."

friends. the word stings like a knife in his heart. it's been months since you broke up, and yet, it still feels like a raw wound.

paul forces a smile. he understands that despite how painful it is, there's something good in it. there's still a place for him in your heart, even if he's forced to share it with someone else.

he pulls you in again, and the hug is even tighter now than before. it's a comforting feeling; you're both at peace, with a good weekend behind you, in the arms of someone so close to you. after everything you've gone through together, but especially everything he has gone through these last few months with the mercedes academy and prema, you're finally through to the other side. "it all worked out in the end, huh?" you ask after a few moments of silence.

"i guess it did." you part from each other to leave that oh-so-familiar gap between you yet again. "will you be celebrating with us tonight? i think pepe had something planned. you know how he is."

you snort. "yeah, i do know. maybe i will." you shift uncomfortably, crossing your arms over your chest as your eyes dart to the ground. "but, um... i'll have to check with..."

you don't even say his name – you don't have to. ollie's entire weekend has been so far from everyone's expectations, and if you know him correctly, he will not be in the mood for celebrations tonight.

paul nods slowly, pressing his lips into a thin line. "right."

the silence that follows is so awkward you can't help but chew on your bottom lip, a tiny sigh escaping through your mouth. he must be hating this, you think – today is supposed to be only a good day for him, he shouldn't have his ex's new relationship pushed up in his face.

"well, i have a debrief to get to," you make up, flashing him a quick smile. "congrats again, paul."

"thank you." he gives you another nod, before turning away and making his way towards the paddock. "pepe will text you!"

and just like that, he's off, and your mind wanders to the thought of actually going out to celebrate. ollie will definitely not join you, though you're not sure why you don't want to go without him. is it because you'd rather stay and comfort him?

or is it because you're scared of what you'll do, or feel, when you're alone with paul for the first time since you broke up?

"p5 is still good, my dear." your mom's voice booms out from the speakers of your phone as you drop it onto the desk, and you can't help but let out a sigh, taking a step back.

"of course, but... i feel like i could've done more." it was both true and not; with paul's five-second penalty, you definitely could've gained at least one more position if only you had stayed within that gap. but then again, a fifth position and ten more points was a great result for a rookie.

"but you'll still be going out to celebrate with your friends, right?"

you ended up telling pepe you weren't in the mood to party, despite his persistent complaints, and decided to instead use the evening for relaxation and recovery. your entire body, especially your neck, has really suffered this weekend – you were already sore after the shakedown, but this is on another level – so a bubble bath and a good night's sleep in your hotel room seemed like a much better choice.

"no, i'm just going to rest a little..." you hum, flopping down on the chair by the desk. "maybe grab something to eat with ollie."

weirdly enough, you haven't been able to get in contact with him all evening. you were told that he hurried back to his hotel room right after the race, not in the mood to talk to anyone on the team at all, so you chose to give him some time alone to cool down before you'll eventually go over there. still, you thought he would've answered at least one of your many texts by now.

thinking about your boyfriend, you suddenly remember something. "hey, mum?" she lets out an affirmative sound. "you remember when i was home last time, and dad said something about ollie and the car? and he acted all weird?" you pause for a moment, but when she doesn't say anything, you keep going. "what was that all about?"

"well darling, we..." you take the sudden silence as a sign that she might not be sure how honest she wants to be right now, and it makes you frown instinctively. she sighs. "we're just a little worried about him, that's all."

your confusion only grows. "what's that supposed to mean?"

"we're worried he's feeling too pressured to impress us." you hear her take a deep breath. "of course, your father is his boss, so it is natural in that way. but we wish he would just see us as any regular parents. he's always talking about racing like there's nothing else in the world, and..."

"that's not fair." you shake your head despite the fact that she can't see it. "that isn't him. he isn't all racing and no fun."

"oh love, i'm sure he is loads of fun, but-"

"i really have to go," you cut her off, standing from your seat. "talk to you later."

you hang up before she can even answer, the guilt in your head from treating your mother like that already pushed away by the anger growing inside of you.

you always assumed your parents loved ollie. sure, you knew they adored having paul over when you were still a couple, too, but ollie is every mother-in-law's dream son. he's from your country, he's a pure sweetheart, he's even in the fda for god's sake. how could they not love him?

and so what if he tries to impress them? who wouldn't do the same?

when ollie opens his door for you, he looks like he's just woken up from a bad night's sleep. bed head, bags under his eyes, and just a general aura of tiredness. if you didn't know better, you'd think he was an insomniac. but thinking back to how badly his race went, the sight of him just makes your stomach churn.

your arms wrap around his neck in an instant, pulling him into your warm embrace. you feel the tension in his upper back release right away, and ollie's hands find your sides, giving you a light squeeze. you refrain the urge to pull away when he nuzzles his nose into your neck, standing strong against your usual ticklishness, and your heart softens slightly when he lets out a deep sigh into your skin.

"you okay?" you finally manage to get out, and his answer comes in the form of a nod against your shoulder. "is there anything i can do for you?"

he pulls away but stays so close that you feel his breath against your face; so close that you're both slightly cross-eyed when your gazes meet. "stay with me?"

your answer is expressed through the fleeting kiss you press to his lips, your way of saying of course. ollie doesn't waste any time pulling you into his hotel room, and you flop down onto the bed with him. he sits up and watches you lie down against the covers, your head nestling into the pillow. "tell me about your race," he says as he reaches down to take your hand, his fingers slipping in between yours. "eight positions gained, huh?"

of course he doesn't want to talk about his own race. but the fact that he's willing to think about racing at all, just to let you have a chance to talk about how well you did and boast a little; it all makes your heart flutter.

and you're sure, you're so sure that he is so much more than just a racing driver. he's not what your parents think he is. he's an incredible racer, sure, but he's also the sweetest man you've ever met. the perfect boyfriend.

even when he's feeling like this, he takes his time to still pay attention to you and ask questions. and then he listens, he really listens, because he wants to understand every inch of your mind just as well as he geeks out about every detail of apexes and tyre degradation. and then he says just the right things, the things to sweep you off your feet yet again.

he's so perfect that he's incredibly easy to love.

so why is there a knot in your stomach at the thought of the race – and more specifically, the person on the last step of the podium?

why does your mind keep running back to how he's celebrating, and what it would be like if you'd been there with him?

yourusername just posted!

yourusername double pookie podiums & good points in the bag! thanks camposracing for a great car ❤️ we go again in a week!

show all 81 comments

user top job this weekend!!

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

user i will stop hating on red bull if either of these get into f1

→ user red bull juniors >>> anyone else

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

user what happened to ollie though 😭

→ user it's just the first round, calm your horses

→ user why always bring up ollie on her posts... is that all she is, ollie's gf? 😐

→ user forreeaaalll

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

redbulljuniorteam y/n and pepe making us proud 🥺

→ user pls admin you're making me cry

→ yourusername me too 😭

[black-lake]

astro observations 3

Hi besties,

I'm doing another observation for ya ☺︎ I truly enjoy writing these so much. These ones are a little longer, because the aspects are complex.

Now this is the saturn post, so many saturn observations. 🪐

Highlights: taurus, moon, virgo, capricorn, gemini, aquarius, saturn, neptune, 12th house, 11th house, celebrity charts, earth placements.

------

🍁 Earth moons, especially taurus and virgo, have amazing taste in fashion and all material things. They can determine the quality of things by feeling it or just looking at it. They may have standards for what they buy. They are the type to go like "this thing will break in 3 months, do you really wanna waste your money?". Taurus moons may buy things frequently because they just like it. Virgo moons analyze the price and value and criticize the hell out of the store and owner too looool. They are on the look for the "perfect" thing, it needs to look and feel a certain way. Capricorns are chill with it, they be calculating their money? but they spoil themselves.

🍁 Earth moons are also really good at taking care of their belongings. Once they buy something they cherish it and keep it looking new for so long. They know how to clean and maintain what they have. Their clothes may look new and expensive even if they’re not. They take good care of their surroundings too, especially caps and virgos. 

🍁 Saturn conjuncting or positively aspecting an inner planet makes someone good with business. Especially aspects to sun, mercury and mars. Their investments work out and are long term. They learn how to make money quickly but are also patient with it. They just have a natural business mind. The types to own multiple businesses and maintain their success. 

🍁 Saturn aspects to neptune, especially squares/oppositions/conjunctions, feeling guilty whenever you dream, when you let yourself be hopeful for no reason, when you think of an ideal. Stopping yourself from fantasizing because it’s "unreal", because you wouldn’t do it, you don’t know how to do it, you haven’t done enough. These people don’t realize they have huge potential to make their dreams come true, especially if other aspects support it. Saturn here gives a hint of pessimism to your dreams, and wakes you to reality every time. Saturn here also allows you to have your dream after it took it away from you. Once they have learned how to work with both planets they can be very successful and looked up to. 

🍁 Craig Ferguson having Gemini mercury at 17° and a Scorpio moon? I see why this guy is flirtatiously sarcastically funny. He also has mars in Aries which adds to his quick wit and boldness. Even tho his humor can be dark and direct, the fire also makes it fun and lighthearted. His Libra ascendant, keeping it balanced and making his guests comfortable even when he says the most questionable things lol. His Leo MC at 5° adds to his charismatic personality like a cherry on top. His chart is too interesting fr.

I can do more celebrity analysis in the future?

🍁 I also imagined him having more earth in his chart, because of his authoritative and well respected persona? But he has none at all lol. Ik that a Leo MC can also give a strong persona and demands respect. Now there are aspects that answer the question. The harsher the aspects the more the person naturally demands respect because of the lessons they learned. His saturn opposite NN and MC, he had a difficult upbringing, especially with that Aquarius IC, ouch. Pluto opposite Chiron and Jupiter conjunct Chiron, wounds making him strong and wise. His Mars opposite Ascendant adds a layer of intimidation. 

🍁 You and your Aquarius or Gemini placements bestie, each texting about completely different topics, sending each other irrelevant weird sh*t, sending questionable memes, laughing at different things, answering in questionable times, never answering questions completely, yet you don’t question it at all, because in your mind you're embracing each other's uniqueness. how quirky 💀

🍁 I rarely meet Aquarius and Pisces suns and placements, even tho I want to analyze them badly, I rarely have a chance to interact with them. plz come to my life I want to judge your personality.. with admiration of course! (my virgo moon speaking). 👽 

🍁 People with saturn in the 4th house had a difficult upbringing and heavy responsibilities put on them early on, this shaped their personalities and perceptions, and made them want to work harder to break their families emotional trauma and find security. They want to heal their trauma affecting their sense of safety and security emotionally and financially. Saturn 4th in charts of Marilyn Monroe, Craig Ferguson, Harry Styles, Madonna, and Drake. 

🍁 The hardest saturn house placements imo, are saturn in 11th, 12th, 10th, 4th, 7th. If you have these I respect you so much buddy, truly, it's a nightmare. These are also karmic, don't mess with these people, or you're inevitably meant to mess with them? because it's the way to get your karma and for your ass to learn a lesson. The universe works through them and they get the lovely pain in return loool. No fr they get so much power in return, they're protected heavily and are blessed with so much in life, they just wait longer for bigger blessings. Ily all.

🍁 Now if you have saturn in the 11th, or 11th house cusp, chances are you feel left out, you feel alienated, you hate socializing and hate strongly desiring it. Your friends betray you so easily it's insane. People give you weird looks. Your classmates, coworkers, avoiding you, it's your power, it's karma scaring them. People avoid doing you wrong but fall for the trap before they know it, they are hit hard with karma. They see what they reject in themselves in you, their hopes and dreams, their self expression, true unfiltered selves. People who don't know how to stand out and are people pleasers hate you the most. You are a non conformist, and like your alone time. You leave as fast as you enter someone's life, you become a mystery.

🍁 With this placement, your friends are not meant to be long term, only few will. Better friends will come as you mature and become older. Saturn makes it clear to you who has your best intentions at heart and who doesn’t, or tests you to see if you learned from experiences on how to detach from toxic people and be yourself no matter what. You will be blessed with amazing people and communities that understand you and embrace your individuality, the path to this isn’t easy, but hold on. 

🍁 Saturn 11th can pick up on negative energies, places and fake people. They don't even have to say or do anything their presence solely is triggering those places and people and bringing on change. They change people's lives and their own like a lightning bolt. They are activists online and they start threads and campaigns to wake people up and bring on some change. These people can have a strong presence online. 

🍁 The og terrible nightmare is saturn in the 12th (yay I have it). Bonus points if saturn is harshly aspected, or touches neptune. I wanted to do a whole post or even article about this placement. It's intriguing. I stop to think a lot whenever I see it in a chart, especially of powerful people which is often the case, but I don't understand it fully! I'm always shocked to see it in people's charts, it's very subtle and mysterious, it manifests in different ways, you can’t tell until you really see it play out. This is one of the most powerful placements saturn can be in.

🍁 Now saturn 12th differs depending on whether it’s closer to the 11th or the 1st house cusp. If it's closer to the 1st house it plays out in one's self expression and self assertion when it comes to their lives, so this area is challenged for them. If it's closer to the 11th it, it plays out in themes relating to groups, people, connections, dreams, expressions, the collective.. etc. The 11th and 12th both rule the collective consciousness, uranus and neptune, and in this case saturn is also at play, woah, this is what makes this a triple power placement. Individuals that have it closer to the 11th house likely experienced the effect of saturn on both houses. They were, hated, alienated, people tried to take their power, people saw them as an enemy or a threat, people wanted to harm them, didn't want them to believe in themselves, they struggle to assert their power, but they are meant to.

🍁 Saturn 12th is also very similar to the 11th when it comes to giving people karma and showing them their place without doing anything, but it's more powerful, it plays out subconsciously and for longer periods. Now I'm talking, manifesting as diseases, mental issues, suicidal thoughts, severe accidents, even death. Manipulators, cheaters, liars, people with bad intentions, jealous people, those who manipulate their power whether through resources and money or fame and dark shady stuff, all gravitate towards you, ik it's horrible lol. I'm so sorry you're a magnet for bad people. They want to control you and manipulate you. You have to be careful with this placement to not trust people, but you already don’t trust no one lol.

🍁 Saturn 12th forces you to face your shadow self head on, dealing with depression, negative thoughts, sorrow, low energies, bad habits, taking your subconscious seriously. It is likely that at a young age they didn't understand their subconscious patterns, mental health issues started surfacing for them as teenagers, they had a hard time understanding their mind. You feel extreme loneliness, very likely only children? being removed from everyone else even if you need people. Forced to do everything alone. Feeling like you have to deal with everything alone. Feeling like you will never be understood. These people wished to disappear from earth so many times. ☹︎ Dealing with people's shadows and forcing them to face it. Mirroring back energies. You are heavily protected so fear nothing!

🍁 Now what gives these individuals this much power? It's everything I have mentioned above. This applies especially if saturn is closer to the 11th. These people have gone through the depth of their emotions and thoughts, they drowned in them. They faced harsh realities about themselves and others. They've understood so much about their own triggers and limits. They have destroyed and rebuilt their subconscious with a stronger foundation. Now they have access to the collectives subconscious, they have power over it, they can rule people or even manipulate them. They have a strong effect on their surroundings. They take on positions of power easily. They destroy limits and rules and build newer ones just like they did with their minds. They can be as toxic as the people they dealt with, or can cause amazing changes in their environments and be remembered for changing the world. 

🍁 Saturn 12th being prominent in charts of individuals that are/were presidents, politicians, musicians, and activists. Examples with saturn in the 12th being close to the 11th cusp or in the cusp, Vladimir Putin, Barack Obama, George Washington, Donald Trump (in the 11th closer to the 12th), George W. Bush, Beyoncé, Zayn Malik, SZA, Will Smith (exactly on the cusp), Matthew McConaughey (on the cusp), Whitney Houston. I can name so many others. 

🍁 Worthy to mention that many of the themes mentioned about saturn can also apply to pluto in the 12th, 11th and 10th, but in a different way. I can do a whole different post about that.

🍁 So much of this is my own experience and the people I know. Please let me know if you have experienced any of these observations, especially with saturn aspects and houses. I'd love to hear and learn more about it. 

[stuckinapril]

how do u overcome the fear of failure when ur not instantly good at something? i’ve been interested in engineering for a long time but i didn’t major in it because the high level calc and physics courses didn’t come to me naturally and i’m a perfectionist who hates failing or struggling 🥲

No one is too dumb for something. It’s not that you’ll just “never get” physics or calculus—it’s a matter of playing around w the material and seeing what works best for you. It doesn’t make those who process things at a faster pace superior to you; it just makes them different. Ik it might sting to struggle for a little bit, I’m also a perfectionist and I still have moments where I want to avoid topics bc I fear failure, but think of how satisfying it will feel once you get the ropes down & things just start making sense.

You have to put your desire to grow over your aversion to struggling at it. I’m personally terrified of stunting myself by never pushing myself hard enough, and that usually keeps my ego in check when it comes to stuff like this. If you’re not struggling, you’re not growing. Period.

You’ll have more to say by the time the interim of discomfort is over. This world is oversaturated w nepo babies / protégés / people who’re just naturally proficient… but they don’t have much to say as far as struggling to get good at something goes. The most digestible analogy I could think of is having acne & wanting to consult someone about it. Who do you think would have more to say about that: someone who never struggled w skin problems a day in their life, or someone who had major skin problems but now has glass skin? Probably the person who struggled but paved their way through it.

No one is going to point at you one day and laugh at you for having once struggled in physics or calculus. Once you’re an engineer you’re an engineer, same as anyone else. It’s very rare for people to care how long it took you to get to the finish line. They just care that you’re there.

My neuroscience prof said this once & it literally rewired my brain—but half the mental battle is just thinking that excelling at something is in your future no matter how long it takes, how hard it may be, or what you have to do to excel at it. Literally just telling yourself “I know I’ll get good at physics and calculus no matter what, I just need to figure out how” will help you sm. This is my form of manifestation lol even if I don’t believe in manifesting or anything like that. It’s legit just telling myself that I’ll get what I want eventually, so long as I work hard for it.

[rat-rambles]

Ok Alastor shippers of all sorts, I'm going to put in my two cents and before I get into I'm a pro shipper all around just don't be mean to each other and tags are there for a reason.

My credentials: I'm an gray ace, aro person who's been around Fandom a very long time. Personally I've been initiated with the “but al is ace aro so you can't ship him” discourse and first off that's not true both because we can date -I Have a long term Partner- and because I've explored a lot of my queer identity through Fandom and fanfics and I think others should get the chance to do the same. I'm sure a lot of people will learn they’re ace aro because of alastor. That being said ik a lot of you writers out there aren't ace aro and are new to the topic so I'm going to go over some of my personal suggestions of how you could make Canon compliant works. (And if you do any or find any please send to me I'd love to see it)

Oblivious Alastor

Canonically this man doesn't know he's an ace in the hole. And I don't believe an egomaniac like him would assume that there's anything “different” about himself. ik when I was a baby ace I thought everyone was just being dramatic basically before realizing I was the exception. I can see this going 2 ways.

Radiostatic (pre show): vox is obviously completely smitten with al and al sees dating a more powerful overlord as an advantage(which vox in the past was the more powerful of the two). And Al starts getting slowly more and more uncomfortable and vox gets pushy in a very manipulative way.

Radioapple: enemies to friends to lovers? After Al and Luci become close friends, Luci starts to catch feelings for Al and Al agrees to date him seeing as he is fond of him and he's a very powerful ally so why wouldn't Al date him? As the relationship progresses they’re both confused by Alastor's behavior. Luci tries to be respectful. You know maybe he's just very against pda. And al doesnt understand why he's not feeling the things he's meant to.

I can see Al reverse heteronormativity- ing his way into assuming he's gay because he's NOT straight.

Malicious intent

Same as the last one except Al knows he doesn't have feelings for them like that and is trying to be toxic and uses them. IE what if Al was a gold digger actually.

Maybe I am in love?

Al actually thinks that he MUST be feeling a romantic connection because this is the closest he's ever been to someone and once again, gets steadily more confused as he realizes what he and his partner are experiencing is different.

All of these can end in nice queer platonic bliss and I think any story where Al and his partner discover he's ace after establishing the relationship is inherently interesting.

Last note some ace vocabulary

Ace and aro are a spectrum. Typically with ace people they will self identify as either sex positive, sex negative, or sex neutral. With Al it's generally head cannoned that he's sex negative but that's not explicitly Cannon and sex positive and neutral aces are valid.

Sex negative: is self explanatory it's what everyone thinks aces are; I don't want sex ever the idea grosses me out ect.

Sex neutral: is when someone doesn't have the desire for sex but isn't repulsed by it either. If they are in a relationship and their partner wants to have sex they’re open to it but don't expect initiation on their part.

Sex positive: people have a hard time understanding this because it's the seperating of the need for sex from the want. Typically if a sex positive ace were to never have sex again they'd die happy but if they have a willing partner they are happy to participate. It builds intimacy. It feels good, it's nice but it's not the same as being allo and having that cardinal lust.

note: please know what type your head cannoning Al as in your works when writing it, although people of course can change which they feel they align with, it's important to know how he's feeling about it.

I'm not as familiar with aro terminology but like with ace it's more about the drive the need the anguish. Al wouldn’t in cannon crave romantic connection.

Like with ace it's not actually cannon what type of aro he is some aro people are completely repulsed by the idea of romantic relationships or they only like it in theory (which playing around with the idea of Al liking a relationship in theory but not in practice could be a lot of fun.)

The gray romantic umbrella are aro people who can have romantic attraction to some degree. They’re still aro you can head cannon Al as it but please do a little research into which one you think your version of Al would identify with there quite a few so I'll spare the list here.

Demi romantic is when someone can develop romantic attraction for very specific people, very rarely. These people won't be on Bumble but might fall for someone after knowing them for a few years (or an indeterminate amount of time, my timeline was a year and a half I shit you not) a lot of you are looking for that.

As for kink. Lots of queer people especially are into kink because it's intimate, it's physical, it requires trust but it's not actually inherently sexual a lot of the time. And we do know that Al likes torturing and being dominant so yeah he'd be kinky that's completely canon compliant.

At the end of the day Al is ace aro in the show and that's what counts. Have fun be creative, explore the depths of your queer little minds and please be nice to each other.

(and if any of you make works related to this please please please send them to me thanks)

[southangel]

Heyo!

I don't know if you write about familiar stuff (I guess it counts as a platonic topic), but if you do, can I request the Broship as single fathers and what it would be like to be their kid? How would each of them handle being a single parent?

Cheers!

Main 4 Being their kid

Warnings: mentions of drinking/drugs

Notes: No gender mentioned, so gender-neutral by default. This was a little time-consuming to write, luckily I had a lot of free time today! Ran out of ideas for Cartman though.

Stan Marsh

As we’ve already seen from Post Covid, Stan is in some ways similar and different from his childlike self.

Having a child is stressful enough, but being a single parent on top of it just adds more to the cake.

As much as he cares and wants to raise you correctly, he’s terrified of becoming like his father.

Randy was never a good dad, and it affected Stan mentally where he almost considered never wanting children.

I see Stan as more protective than he was as a kid. He doesn’t want anything harmful to happen to you like what happened to him, so he tries to shield you from it in a way that isn’t incredibly overbearing.

He wants the best for you, and he wants you to be happy in life. Stan often tries to keep a balance when taking care of you, trying to raise you to be respectful and have the best personality in all the right areas.

Stan would be the kind of father to play his guitar for you until you fall asleep, or even introduce and influence you to pick up your own instrument.

Sometimes the stress and negative thoughts catch up with him, he doesn’t feel like he’s a good father and he feels as if he’s slowly becoming Randy.

He turns to his old childlike habits, drinking and mentally losing himself without even noticing, it’s by instinct.

Stan doesn’t want to be like this, and he doesn’t want to you to see him like this, especially when you’re still young.

Once you get older, it’s when you see Stan like this that you realize maybe he’s the one needing comfort.

Stan doesn’t necessarily ever want you to meet his friends, Kyle is an exception.

He thinks their bad influences, and he only wants the best for you! Besides, if Kyle has a kid as well, then maybe you could both hangout together.

He tries to let you be as carefree as possible, letting you do as you wish as you grow older.

Stan doesn’t want to seem like a typical adult once you start considering love interests, but he just doesn’t want you to get your heart broken.

It’s happened to him, multiple times.

He just wants to prepare you and make sure that you’re absolutely sure on what you’re doing in this stage of your life.

You’re the reason Stan keeps going, and he wants to be the best dad he ever can.

“Oh, what happened to your Grandpa? Let’s talk about something else..”

Kyle Broflovski

Kyle is definitely a hot topic, as I personally see him as the best dad out of the Main 4, single or not.

I see him as very fatherly, or more family oriented than the rest. It makes sense when you see how he takes care of Ike.

Kyle has never really been one with romantic luck, and I guess it carried on in his adulthood since now he’s a single father with you as his child.

The first thing that i’ll say is that Kyle wants the best for you. His parents wanted the best for him, and look where he is now.

He wants you to be the best, getting top scores and grades on all your assignments and work.

At some point it feels overbearing even.. Constant pushing and pressuring to be the best, how long until you can’t handle it.

Eventually Kyle tries to let you be, but reassures you that he’s only like this because he wants the best for you, you’re his kid!

You know he wants the best for you, and that he only means well..

I see Kyle as the most protective out of the Main 4, but that doesn’t mean he’s intense with it.

He just wants to make sure you aren’t in any trouble or harm, and he wants to help you if you are.

Kyle wants to support you in all of your hobbies and dreams, no matter what they are.

Even after countless years, Kyle still has dreams or thoughts of Cartman coming back to somehow screw with him again, this time being with you.

Part of this is why he never wants to introduce you to his friends just like Stan, but he is partially open to Stan..

Since it was confirmed in Post Covid that Kyle became a counselor, I believe that he would be perfect at comforting you with any troubles or worries you could have ever had.

If you ever have problems or troubles, who else can you really tell other than him? He’s your dad after all, he understands.

Once you start exploring and finding love interests, he wants to support you with it as much as he possibly can.

Kyle never had much luck in romance his entire life, so he wants you to have a different fate.

He hopes you can be happy in life, all he wants is to satisfy you in this lifetime.

Even with all this, Kyle genuinely really cares about you, and he’ll always love you no matter what you decide to do with your life.

“What’s wrong? You know you can always talk to me.”

Kenny Mccormick

Personally, I also see Kenny as a good dad as well.

Kenny as really been through a lot, and he doesn’t want you to experience what he did as a child.

His childhood was incredibly rough, poor lifestyle in an abusive and unstable household that was the worst combination for him.

Even though Kenny has been through so much, he still manages to attempt and cheer up his family like Karen, and I see the same for you.

Even though now as an adult he’s doing much better, he still carries on to the caring and compassionate traits.

Kenny wants to spoil and get you all the things he could never have as a kid, but still wants to make sure you aren’t spoilt.

I think he would be okay with you meeting his friends, not Cartman though.

Kenny has been shown to do numerous things for money in the past, and I feel like he would do the same for you.

Instead of money as a reward, his reward would be having you happy and content.

He’s used to amounts of crying in his childhood, but it still hurts when he sees you cry.

Kenny feels as if he’s done something wrong, and similar to Stan, he doesn’t know what to do and feels lost.

He is more mentally stable than Stan though, he pushed through it and still takes care of you as best as he ever will.

Kenny has had multiple love interests throughout his lifetime, but never really found that perfect one.

Once you start growing up and gaining crushes, he would support you in finding love like Kyle, but he would be more weary about it.

He just wants to make sure that you’re okay and safe when finding the right person, your safety and happiness means the most to him.

Let’s not forget about his death curse..

Unfortunately, Kenny’s curse of always dying as a kid carries on to his adulthood, constantly killing him.

He remembers how you would cry every time and get traumatized by his death, but then suddenly forgetting about it the next morning.

Kenny eventually discovered that he had a less chance of dying once wearing less of the color orange.

He wants you to make the most of your life, exploring and experimenting with possibilities.

Kenny would be the type of dad to try finding hobbies that you like. One time he tried baking with you, it was pretty fun for the most part! The house almost burnt down.

With all this, Kenny would be a pretty good father, single or not. He cares about you with his life, and that’s all that matters.

“What do you think about pets? A cat maybe?”

Eric Cartman

Cartman is a huge handful, and he can be difficult in so many ways.

It’s not a surprise that he’s the worst dad here, but makes you the worst kid as well.

I genuinely don’t see him as a good dad, unless we’re talking about Post Covid before that future was replaced.

Cartman might make some effort to care, but it definitely won’t be a lot. He either does nothing or something, no in between.

He is not the protective type, possibly the exact opposite on the scale when he feels like it. Though there are times he shows care for you, it’s rare though.

Cartman is known to be manipulative, and he will guilt trip you in any way once you’ve gotten on his nerves, mostly talking about how hard it is being a dad and trying to connect with you.

When you were a child, you accidentally crashed into Kyle’s car with Cartman’s, he was actually proud of you.

I see Cartman as the type of dad to ask you to pass the remote while he’s sitting arm length away from it, purposely knowing you’re in the other room.

He wouldn’t necessarily care to have you meet his friends, the only benefit he really sees is rubbing it in Kyle’s face that he has a kid while he doesn’t.

Even thought Cartman isn’t a good father or person in general, there are times where he genuinely feels a want to take his role seriously and raise you properly.

It’s not like he neglects you, it’s just that he doesn’t really care or feel the need to always associate you with him.

Maybe if you could take after him, he would like you more, or maybe he would just dislike you even more..

Part of you wants to have a good relationship with your own parent, but Cartman doesn’t seem to really care much.

There are times where he might actually start taking care of you, but it’s slim.

Once you start getting crushes and falling in love, Cartman tells you about his old relationship with Heidi, and obviously twists the story..

He doesn’t care about who you date much, but you don’t understand the reason why he’s adamant and strict about who you can and can’t go for.

“Don’t you understand how hard it is taking care of you? Give me some space..”

[nightcolorz]

HI CUTIE PIE ARMANDTOLOGIST THE LOVE OF MY LIFE I have a question and it’s really important

Does Armand like Dr Pepper yes or no

(But also actually thoughts on the way they changed up Armand’s backstory in the show? Cuz now he’s kinda like musical Armand and ik you love that guy real, I JUST WANT UR THOUGHTS)

HI BELOVED HUSBAND LOML SECOND IN COMMAND ARMANDOLOGIST 😍😍😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

thus is an amazing question….Armand loves doctor pepper and he has a crippling addiction to it (I know this bcus he told me). The fizzy texture makes him tweak out like cats do when they go crazy randomly and his eyes go huge and dilated and he rolls around wildly for like ten minutes straight 🥰

My thoughts on how they changed up Armand’s backstory in the show is that I LOVE IT!! 🙏🙏so so true so true I love musical Armand he is so funny and real, that is such a good comparison. What I love about musical armand is that in making armand a very visible explicit adult while keeping his backstory relatively the same they kind of lean into this alternate reality where by growing up Armand sort of experienced living “past his prime” and was turned in less of a preservation of his beauty and youth (🤢) and more of in a panicked, pathetic last ditch move, which rlly kind of hammers home the sad kicked dog vibe he has ❤️. Like, I love the thematic value of Armand being an eternal child so much. It’s just so so sad and effective, picturing him as this visible child who is yknow, torturing and killing ppl and leading cults, and even owning property and running businesses, but no matter what he is doing he is always displaying this very apparent physical reminder of his stunted growth and his trauma, that will always be anyone’s first impression of him, that causes him active inconveniences and insecurities. He’s a physical embodiment of the most vulnerable time in his life, trying despite it to gain respect and instill fear. He’s like a child ghost!! I love how his stunted growth manifests as a disability, I love how he is often perceived as a girl bcus of his appearance which adds a trans layer, i love how when Armand’s sad he appears for a moment like the child who was abused, I love love love it.

And that version of Armand will always be my favorite, but I still LOVE the way in the show (and musical before her) is doing it. Back on the topic of the musical, while I don’t think it can carry the same layer of tragedy and depth as the books, the musical frames Armand in a way that’s very upsetting in a different way. He’s like, very pathetic 😭. This grown ass man still stuck in time as a “beautiful youth”, longing for the man who sexually abused him when he was fifteen, stuck in the mindset of the child he was, looking for his past in everything he does and everyone he meets. It’s different, but still carry’s that tragic weight 😭. But the musical wasn’t interested (or maybe didn’t have the time) in exploring that tragedy in any depth, so Armand’s pathetic past his prime vibe is framed more as almost comedically embarrassing then sad. And on the note of the show!!!!! What I love so so much about show Armand’s backstory changes is that they take what the musical was putting down but didn’t have time for and explore it with all the weight it needs, and it’s SO GOOD!!!

Armand as not of a literal external youth but instead a metaphorical one, a technical adult who was kept as a slave and treated as a child for his entire adulthood until he was eventually thrust into vampirism and subsequently abandoned, so he carry’s this internal stunting, is AMAZING. He was raised in a way that instilled in him and prevented him from ever being a functioning, independent person, and then forced into roles of dire leadership and horrible loneliness. In one of my fics I compare him to a pampered lap dog who’s been abandoned on the streets. Amc Armand reminds me of the song memory from cats, which has always reminded me of Armand but hits harder in this version. He’s so 😭😭 abandoned elderly cat who is longing for his past (which for Armand was super shitty, but remains the only time he was loved) and just looking to experience that love and comfort again 😭. The “love and comfort” that was sexual and physical abuse and literal enslavement 😭. It’s so sad.

I love that amc iwtv doesn’t necessarily change Armand’s backstory of being sold into slavery, but rlly hammers home in the details that he was and continued to be a slave. The racial element is just, ugh, omg, so mf good. They take Armand’s trauma in the books of being deprived of his cultural background by being sold into slavery and bought by Marius, and basically cut off from his religious beliefs and made to feel alienated from religion bcus of his sexual trauma, and by making Armand a person of color rlly elevate that in a super sad super meaningful way. I also love how they add little horrific traumas to rlly instill that Armand was a slave to Marius, that he was his property. Rlly sad!!! 😭 I love it.

the only thing that I don’t like about the changes in Armand’s backstory (which r not a lot, and r mostly based in Assad zaman’s casting whom I love as Armand, they stay surprisingly faithful to the books) Is the thing where Armand’s parents (apparently) willingly sold him into slavery. Part of the huge tragedy with Armand being sold and loosing himself to that is that his parents were not perfect, and not especially good to him, but they loved him so so much, and he looses his memory and connection to two parents who love and miss him, and are devastated by loosing him. Which even tho it’s technically a better reality for Armand then, he had parents who betrayed him, it hits sm harder imo. But, I don’t resent the writers for that bcus I have a theory that I think it’s very likely that the reality of the books is true, and Armand believes that his parents sold him bcus that was a lie Marius fed him to ease his own guilt about keeping Armand from his family so that he can sexually abuse him. If my theory is wrong, and Armand’s parents rlly did sell him, I will be disappointed and wish they stayed more faithful to the books, but I won’t be super mad cuz I love everything else they r doing so much, and it doesn’t retract from that too much.

On the subject of amc and musical Armand comparisons, I hope the show adapts/ takes inspo from a change that the musical made that I love a lot and think could rlly rlly work in the show. In the musical, during the scene where Armand throws Lestat off the tower, Lestat pushes Armand into doing this by mockingly telling him that Marius is alive and has not only chosen to not reconnect with armand bcus he’s not as important to him as Armand perceives, but also he has told Lestat how Armand was a mistake and he should have never made him bcus Marius thinks he’s crazy and beyond hope. And musical armand screams at Lestat that he’s lying, shouts HE LOVED ME!!! And pushes lestat off the tower, bcus he refuses to accept the reality of his fucked up relationship with Marius. Which, dude, I literally love that change in the musical sm and almost wish it was in the books. I sometimes forget that in the books Armand finds out Marius is alive from Lestats book offscreen and we don’t see his immediate reaction at all, just his reaction to reuniting with Marius after already processing that he’s alive. I RLLY HOPE that amc iwtv takes this change the musical made and elevates it, bcus I am the only guy who talks about it and I need everyone else to care 😭. It would translate so perfectly in the show amc pls hire me.

THWNK U SM FOR THE ASK BBY I LOVE THESE QUESTIONS I LOVE YAPPING!!! ILY

[lunabug2004]

I watched The Eclipse (the series) and OMG I'm in Love?!?! ⚠️ SPOILERS ⚠️

Ya'll I watched The Eclipse the series over the last few days and... omg. I have so much to say so buckle up. Obv there will be spoilers! I also wanna mention that this will be full of very biased takes because I absolutely fell in love with Akk soooo imma be defending him.

Now that that's out of the way, first, can we talk about the couples? FirstKhao's chemistry?! I know I'm late to the game but man they blew me out of the water!!! They were so cute and wholesome (dw I've seen the OF edits, ik they're not always this way lol) and Akk and Ayan just pulled me all the way in! They both deserve the world and I will not hear otherwise! Now, the side couple, KanThua, were not my cuppa tea. I love Neo, I haven't seen anything with Louis in it but he's a good actor from what I've seen, and they look cute together, but they just didn't snatch me up unfortunately.

That leads me into the second topic, the plot (this is where it gets long, strap in). I believe this is the main reason the side didn't snatch me. They were definitely given the short end of the stick (this is before I found out that I hate Thua with a passion but we'll get to that). I would've loved so much more buildup than what we got from them. Thua's storyline just felt kinda off to me. We saw his stepdad say one or two messed up things to him, which ya eff him for that, but every other time he was pretty nice??? Maybe I'm just missing something but idk. Also the whole "Bruce Wayne" thing was eh to me. Kinda cute, kinda weird.

Now, Akk and Ayan's storyline???? Sign me uppppp! I love everything about it! I love that they are so there for eachother and literally picked eachother up off the ground mentally so many times. They need eachother and you can absolutely feel it. Then, also their individual storylines are just amazing. My poor babies. Ayan and dealing with his uncle's death and witnessing the terrible things at the school and getting bullied by the teachers and his declining mental health. Akk dealing with the manipulation of the teachers and his need to prove himself and his need to put everyone above himself and his declining mental health and ugh... sorry I could talk about Akk for ages, ya'll know how I get with my babies lol. All this to say I definitely came not knowing what to expect but stayed for Akk & Ayan.

The general storyline is... a doozy. The whole curse thing was so interesting and then it just... wasn't. But at the same time it was??? Idk it's so hard to place how I feel about this part of the plot. I don't understand the whole thing with Teacher Chadock's confession and that somehow affecting what was going on? Like sir, you still manipulated kids (specifically Akk) into doing awful things, I don't think all that happened is an excuse for that at all? Yes, it sucks and never shoulda happened but like... why act like that towards the students this whole time? And he didn't seem to show much, if any, remorse for his behavior either so... idk.

Now... let's get into ep 11 and Thua's whole thing. I will never ever ever forgive the character of Thua for what he did. I don't care how right he was (which he mostly wasn't), I don't care if he was speaking some facts, you don't ever out somebody like that!!! Esp as a character who we know has faced such bad discrimination and bullying for the same effing thing!!! It makes absolutely no sense and there are no excuses! The fear in Akk's eyes... ugh I wanted to punch Thua so bad ngl. The way that he also isn't even right about Akk 'creating the curse' and doesn't mention that he himself continued it after Akk saw the error of his ways and stopped. He made himself out to be squeaky clean when he honestly had the most blood on his hands after this whole thing. When he was cheering the episode before about finding the "one responsible for the curse" IT WAS HIM! AKK HAD STOPPED AT THAT POINT SO IT WAS ALL HIM! He also wasn't telling the truth when he said Aye was covering for Akk using their love as a cover! At first Ayan wanted Akk to tell everyone what he did... but then he saw what a fragile state of mind Akk was in and decided to try a different approach. Thua should've gone to Akk and Aye himself, he had no right to say anything he said without knowing the full story!!! THEN HE JUST IS FORGIVEN!!! NOO! I know that it's because of the cuts they had to make that we don't get to see the characters forgive him and whatnot but I don't care. He. did. not. deserve. to. be. forgiven. No one is changing my mind!

I could go on forever tbh so let's move onto the third topic... the pacing. I know this is the main complaint for this show and rightfully so. I really really wish they would've gotten the 14 episodes they were hoping for instead of the 12 they got. The pacing is just out of wack. The first half-ish is beautiful.... then it drags (slightly).... then it's rushed. Just disappointing, but not anyone's fault. The crew apparently thought they were working with 14 eps, we can't blame them, and we definitely cannot blame the actors.

Fourth, and final, topic: the acting!!! Uuuugh, ya'll! I'd seen Khao in a couple things and First in Not Me, but this is by far the best I've seen of them! They showed all the emotions and omg these dudes are professional criers, how are they both so good at it?! Btw, I see people talk about Khao's acting more than First's I feel like (could just be what I see idk), but First snatched me up! He killed every single scene, give me chills multiple times (Khao too obv) and showed Akk's character development flawlessly! All the supporting actors were obviously amazing too (special shoutout to my boy AJ cuz I love the twins)!

Anyways, if you sat through this half-rant, half-review, congrats! I honestly love this show and it's for sure going to be one I rewatch all the time and try to dig deeper into Akk's mind every time lol. Also if you read all of this and I didn't touch on something you wanted or you're just curious about my thoughts on anything (seriously anything at all), feel free to comment or repost or send me an ask, I don't mind!

[electrozeistyking]

I am so incredibly curious about N and Uzi before…. N had to kill her…

What was life like as a married drone couple? How did they do their wedding? How awkward was the conversation about having a kid?

I’m also curious about V in this AU, what are her thoughts on all that’s going on… N killing Uzi, N having a kid, N being fricken’ depressed… She was a broken individual in the canon, is she still just as broken here? Has she healed from all that the solver’s but her through?

sorry for the many questions, but as an obsessive individual you have crafted the perfect thing for me to obsess over and i am dying for more content lol.

p.s. are there more fics to come? Ik ya only have the one prologue rn, are more chapters on their way?

Hey, no need to apologize for being curious! I quite like the amount of questions! Tells me you're interested in the AU, y'know? Anyway, let me dig up some old notes!

These aren't the full notes, though. A lot was cut, especially if they involved spoilers and/or if they made this go on for too long.

Everything was as fine as it could possibly be on this frozen, toxic exoplanet. Hell, this stretch of fine-ness went on long enough that one of them decided to propose to the other.

And by one of them, I mean Uzi. 

This is based on some observations (aka the hand holding thing in Episode 6), but N was a major fucking dork when V asked him if he was thinking about proposing to Uzi — y’know, saying things like “I don’t know if I should” and “maybe she doesn’t want to go that far” and “maybe we’re fine as is?”

Then meanwhile Uzi’s been drawing up plans on how the hell she’s going to propose to this tall ass robot.

In the end, she kinda threw it all to the wind and decided to do so with no big events or plans or anything. She kinda panicked, though, so she said “Do you wanna marry me?” instead of “Will you marry me?”

N nearly short-circuited trying to say yes. He was kind of having a “Oh my goodness, this is happening????” moment and a “OH SHE DOES WANT TO GO THAT FAR” moment at the exact same time, so something may have literally sparked.

[...] there was a funny period of time where the duo kept very suddenly realizing they’re married, like it didn’t actually sink in until that moment. 

In fact, N exclaimed “oh my goodness” and leaned against something every time it occurred to him.

Unfortunately, the good fluffy times couldn’t last forever. 

You see, one way or another, our beloved robotic dorks somehow found themselves on the topic of having a kid. The conversation itself was fine, if slightly awkward at first (what with N being unsure he’d be good at parenting, anyway). However, just as they reached the peak of “hey, would they be more disassembler or more worker” jokes, Uzi started coughing. 

Which is not normal for any kind of drone. Unless they accidentally swallow something wrong, or if the air’s a bit too thick for whatever reason, drones don’t cough for seemingly no reason. And yet, despite how odd it was, both of them tried to brush it off.

In a brilliant moment of jumping to conclusions (even if they’re the right ones), Uzi realized that The Solver was trying to take over her body.

In a panic, N tried to help any way he could, but felt like he was doing nothing in the process. Uzi just kept getting worse, and every time they landed up empty-handed, the thought he was failing her stung even more. 

V tried to help as well, out of fear over what that thing would do if It took over (and because she did think of Uzi as a friend, even if she’d never admit it to her face).

When The Solver started hijacking her body during one such search to find a way to stop It, Uzi realized it was all over for her. 

Whatever this thing was — whatever It wanted — wasn’t good. And so, in a moment of desperation and panic, she came up with a plan to destroy It. Hopefully, if everything worked in their favour, It’d be gone once and for all.

Of course, its success banked on N’s cooperation. Since V split off from the duo this time, he was the only disassembly drone who could possibly carry it out. Predictably, he tried to decline at first, seeing as the plan was to kill Uzi and destroy her core.

However, when Uzi explained that this was the only way to get rid of this fucking thing, N reluctantly agreed. Despite being incredibly painful, he brought out his laser gun (which is what I think it is, shut up) and the couple had one last heartfelt goodbye.

But then, just as N went to shoot her, the laser turned an awful shade red he’s never seen before and started malfunctioning — something that’s supposed to rarely ever happen. N panicked, calling out Uzi’s name... right before the weapon exploded.

V felt the vibrations of the explosion from where she stood and immediately rushed to N and Uzi’s location. She assumed that something went wrong, but what she saw was not what she expected.

Uzi was dead. 

There was a Fatal Error message on her visor, as clear as day. She was in multiple pieces, with a hole in her chest right where her core was supposed to be — having most likely imploded, thanks in part to The AbsoluteSolver’s weirdness.

While N was alive, his body was in rough shape. He’d been split in two due to the blast, and his chest had been cracked wide open. Judging from how dark smoke billowed from where one of his hands should’ve been, something had gone completely wrong. 

But how? There was a very small chance their weapons could malfunction, and yet... what the fuck happened?

V chose not to dwell on it too long. N’s body wasn’t regenerating on its own fast enough for some reason, and he was losing a shit ton of oil at an alarming rate. 

Fuelled by pure adrenaline, V somehow managed to carry both of N’s halves and all of Uzi’s pieces back to the Outpost.

[vladr2566]

It's finally here well part one of the fic!! This is my first fiction so please go easy on me lol and ik this first part is short pleas bare with me my computer had bugged out and I lost all the parts so I'm starting back at square one

⚠️⚠️⚠️CW WARNING: SMUT GORE STRONG LANGUAGE AGE GAP Mention OF ABUSE AND ASSULT DEATH MENTION OF SA AND CANNIBALISM CULTS AND HEAVY TOPICS OF RELIGIOUS ABUSE! AND UNPROTECTED SEX (mostly in later parts) YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED Reader is 23 and slayer is at least 500 years old(basied on what i googled and the events of eternal)⚠️⚠️⚠️

Fem!reader x doom slayer

Hell's little rabbit part 1

Hell's little Rabbit

Part 1

You don't know how or when it happened but the cult of God had gotten their hands on you, they found you interesting, your rabbit ears, your rabbit tail, your rabbit feet. They never saw a human rabbit hybrid, well a hybrid in general. They kept you locked up in a dark damp cell in the abandoned jail they called home on this demon infested earth. They worshiped God who had abandoned them long ago, before the demons attacked.

Their leader, Peter, would take care of you. He would visit daily and give you food and water and in return you had to give yourself to him or he would beat you till you complied. He would preach on how yiu were special and was ment to dave them. You hated him, wanted him dead even but last time you tried to kill Peter he had broken your arm. His wives didn't like you because you were his favorite, they called you freak and whore, other times they would sneak in and beat you.

Today was a special day, the day of sacrifice, and you were the chosen one. You were kept alive for 13 years just for this, to be sacrifice to the demons so the cult could be blessed by the God they believed in. It was rainy today the first rain in years. Peter ties your arms on a cross and kissed you on last time, you grimace and spat in his face which earned yiu a harsh slap across the face.

He turns to his people and spoke, "Childern of God! Today we gather here today to feed the beast that plague us, and our way of living! Let us bow our heads in prayer and let us pray to our lord and savor Jesus Christian , and the one almighty God!"

They lowered their head as Peter leads them in prayer, "OH heavenly father who art tho in heaven! Please let this sacrifice keep the demon at bay for another 13 years, thank you for letting us find this girl when we did! She was 10 years old and lost, she was just a child when we took her in and now she is a woman! Still pure because she served me, her husband, very well! May her sacrifice keep us safe and my her soul join you in heaven! I know she is different from the others but may her rabbit genetics satisfy the demons! Amen!"

"Amen!" The others said in unison. The days passed as Peter and the other higher ups for the cult watch and waited for the demons. You were weak and exhausted, barely hanging on. The heat and the weather doing its toll on your body.

It's now been a week and nothing, it was scary quite. Then there was screams, you couldn't care you was ready to die. After an hour or so the screaming stops, you heard heavy footsteps approach but was too weak to lift your head. You felt a strong hand lift your head and you see a man or thing in green armor. He cut your hands free and you fell into his arms, that's all you remembered before passing out.

You woke up in a bed, how long has it been? Hours? Days? Weeks? You weren't sure but you sure knew you were hungry, you looked around the room you were now in. It confused and scared you, you had no clue where you was but something caught your eye. You get up and hobbled over to the small table in the corner and grabbed the sandwich that was left, your hunger overpowered your thoughts and you scarfed down the small meal.

You then looked at yourself in the mirror and saw you were bandaged up and somewhat clean. Your ears perked up as you heard footsteps and walked in a robot? You grabbed the plate from the table and get ready to throw it.

"Who are you and where am i?!" You demanded

"Hello, I am Vega the on board AI. The slayer brought you in after he had found you on earth. How are you feeling miss, need anything?" He asked

You shake your head no and slightly relaxed.

"No thank you..."

"If you need anything let me know miss, this room has a bathroom so if you want you can shower." And with that Vega left. You made your way to the bathroom and saw some clean clothes, fresh bandages, and some soaps as well as shampoo and conditioner.

You smiled and took the first shower you had in years, you washed off the dirt and old blood and then spent a lot of time on washing your matted hair. One your done you get out and then cut your hair short so it's easier to manage.

You could hear the same heavy footsteps out In the hall so you got dressed and left the room. You peaked out and saw the large man in green armor your savoir. You quietly followed him but he disappeared into his room. You wanted to thank him but how?

[ottiliere]

hello! ur posts on the vagus nerve and its connections to digestions have encouraged me to do a lil mini dissertation thingy kinda focused on it/around it, ur big thread on PVT and everything really piqued my interest when i read it and i just held onto it for like a year or smthing until like last week when i started the project. Ik u said recently in one of ur posts i believe that ur not going to post the big dirk PVT post and im not here to be like yo post it because i also think u said that ur kinda moving away from like hs/dirky stuff rn ?? (im forgetting if i saw that sorry) but yeah i just wanted to say thank u etc etc, like ive never done an ask before so sorry if this is phrased weirdly but ur blog is just like one of those blogs that fundamentally changed how i view certain things in life for the better lol, like whether its ur beautiful representations / depictions of mental health in like just beautifully painted art (seriously the way u make it look like idk how to word it cartoony/really 2d but then it stands out against the background + if u zoom in and see the tiny pixel details == it makes me mad) or just like the huggeee long form posts that i like to chew on and save cuz theres so many details that AFFAAT like the way you talk abt the topics u portray has made me concious of how i would want to do so in the same way ig u get me. anyway this got really long and idk if i come across coherently, but ur just a random person on the internet whos art and written thoughts that u decide to share makes me happy when i see it == makes me pace around my room and distract me from this fat essay lmao so tldr: i really appreciate what u do + i hope like that ur doing well and that u keep arting and thoughting no matter what it is that u choose to focus on

(uve made me comitted to reading jthm, playing psychonauts and giving jjba w/ dio another go lmao) 🫶🫶

Hello! I’m sorry this reply is coming so late, this ask in particular is very sweet and has stuck out to me.

I’m really happy to have introduced you to PVT, this is something I’ve heard from a few different people on here and it’s very sweet… I did my thesis on it in college and the time really flew by while working on it, things you don't think could possibly attributed to "nerve issues" being nerve issues is always an eye-opener, isn't it? being able to research things that interest you & access information in general really is a privilege in this day and age.

“The topics [I] portray” are very important to me, so it’s heartening when others take interest in spite of the obvious deterrents. A lot of what I love making art about is unpalatable to most, and while I do understand the reasons for that on principle, it can make things feel a little insular. I genuinely believe there’s a lot of value in depicting tableaus of misery.

The last year has brought a lot of very unforeseen changes, and my life is quite different from when I initially made this blog to post about him! That’s also part of why I’ve been so sparse here…though I’m working to change that quite soon. I love sharing my work, and I’ve had the privilege of meeting some truly wonderful people through this website. That said…with where I’m at now, I’m not sure I’ll be posting the Dirk essay anytime soon, I’m afraid.

I’ve undertaken a few ongoing projects, one of which in particular is an original project I plan on sharing publicly here hopefully within the next month or so. I hope it’s something you & anyone else who’s stuck around with me here will enjoy, but failing that, I’ve really enjoyed working on it thus far.

Thank you for the sweet ask, take care, and good luck with your project!

[bebx]

Thank you for responding back! I am glad that my texts had you having a "good kind of whoa" moment :)) Of course, I still remember your amazing participation with diversely intriguing takes in spite of mainly focusing on only a couple of characters throughout your peak era. You have been my gateway to Tumblr and to confidently celebrating my love for a show, its characters and dynamics so profoundly. And I am ecstatic that my introduction to the world of fandom thriving here happened with you unknowingly guiding me through its orientation. Because after I had to venture around on my own, despite behind the shield of lurker, I realized how toxic and vainly spiteful some people can be, all due to differing opinions, framing then harassing one another, overall devolving the ambience of this site to downright Instagram toxicity when they all should be equally rejoicing about their common subject of enthusiasm getting a feast and that just made me long for re-experiencing your peaceful way of practicing free speech more. You radiated a very warm, uncomplicated aura with an assertive mind, despite the blood and gore and other unconventional topics of interest, compared to the absolute exhaustion one suffers by just skimming through their blogs or archive which are otherwise also saturated with thought provoking analysis. So, it has been very grey haha when I had to go exploring independently and not remain reliant about any ST news or fanarts, especially concerning Hawkins Lab Plotline on your blogs anymore since November 2023. Brightest side of this rollercoaster exposure is that I discovered many others with alike interests as well as views! Although I have to sacrifice my morals and principles while checking out the posts of some of them who tend to have a very strangely twisted and unavoidably problematic side. I feel wrecked by guilt while liking their posts which are relevant to what I predominantly seek them for but then I remember "hey just because I like Harry Potter doesn't mean I will have to stand by J.K Rowling". So yeah...haha that helps in upholding the neutrality, but this just makes me miss the simple times more. You have been such a great source of collecting the finest qualities of fan materials either through your own blogs or the posts you reblogged. Very well researched and organized. It was an authentic and easy way for me to keep a track of all the most artistic crafts related to the fandom through the exhibition on your archive. This is why I previously said in my preceding text that I appreciate people with a good taste of art, referring to you. But I am also thankful for the opportunity of liberation and self-dependence this unforeseen phase paved a way to, resulting in various discoveries which may have missed your radar. So yeah this is pretty much why I still remember, I hope I have sketched a bigger picture of my timeline with everything here and how you play the key role in it. It's always the little things with bigger meanings. But this is not the only reason, this was just for starters, I will shed light on other factors ahead.

Secondly...(yeah Ik I have written so much, I should just stop but I just have so much more and vital stuffs to say which I hope you would like to hear too.) I never felt your posts were all silly other than the intentionally hilarious ones such as incorrect quotes and other memes which could make the day of anyone who is familiar with the show. Underneath or beyond the humor, I felt they had a lot of heart and soul. Which is precisely why I was so anticipated for the marriage between the new *gasp inducing as well as fulfilling* updates and your insightful approach, full of creativity and writing skills with your characteristic capturing of classic human themes that know how to intricately weave so much of complimenting theories, observations and heartbreaking as well as heartwarming stories around it which I religiously consider as some of the best and underrated fanfics out there. I don't know how much you have been aware with TFS spoilers as I am not sure what did you exactly mean by not stumbling upon any real spoilers but so many things you stood for when there was hardly any substantial evidence, it's like you literally spoke them into acknowledged existence. I am not gonna risk spoiling most of it for you but I would just say that you made a post once, commenting on a theory highlighting the potential relation between Vecna and Mindflayer, the question of the true master of puppet and "how each time a gate opened, a boy was taken" and that has aged so well, that's all I can say. Rediscovering that post gave me chills. So you see, so many of your interpretations have hit the bull's eyes, as without giving something massive away, the prequel has humanized his character extensively. Like this was everything JCB could have asked for since S4 released and poor guy had been alone taking a mysteriously empathetic stand for him in public, which we got pleasantly mystified by as it also vindicated our resonating defense deep down, so we followed after. Subsequently I had this inside joke from that time (Nov 2023) that, "Damn, the makers humanized him more than any fanfic ever did, even collectively." So, in a way, this is everything we could have asked for, ourselves. You have this incredible penchant for seeing beyond what's purposely being misleadingly narrated, once it got backed up by a vaguely but still authoritative source, you get to the bottom of all the potential alternatives. Trusting your instinct based on Jamie's subtle and interesting support paid off! You realized something so unpopular once and presented compelling reasoning points which were the closest to what it is canonically revealed ultimately. You perfectly encapsulated the soul of something or someone which was too monstrous for the majority to be a subject of deep thinking let alone any redemption, which can be magnificently seen through every fanfic, short or lengthy, you wrote about him and Eleven and not merely through some "peek into mind" insights posts here and there. This play literally calls for a celebration. You have been nearly a lone wolf, I mean yeah there were plenty others here however with your unique perspective and standard nevertheless differentiating from other stans, this was almost your sole battle which in my view has been surprisingly validated by the stage play so much, beyond expectation actually. Like a perfect reward for loyalty and dedication. I still am halfway through what I am here to convey, the text limit is gonna reach soon so, will share the rest on another upcoming part.

I read everything and this is one of the kindest things anyone has said to me. thank you for your kindness and authenticity, it means so much to me and it may have awoken that part of my Henry hyperfixation, that’s been laid dormant for a while, a little too.

I wish words could describe how grateful I am for you, but I’ve definitely screenshot these and saved them so I can come back to look at them later when self-doubt starts making its presence known.

thank you for being so thoughtful, supportive and kind. it means more to me than words could ever describe.

also, yes, I’ve seen The First Shadow trailer and it’s absolutely beyond expectations. I have no doubt that the play is exceptional in every way.

[pub-lius]

I just wanna say, DUDE. The majority of what I know about amrev comes from your blog. Your in-depth posts literally have me FOAMING AT THE MOUTHH I don't have much time to read longer books due to school but I wanna feed my obsession so do you have any books on the shorter side or some websites/archives I can research/read a bit quicker? If not it's totally fine.

Also off topic but I'm loving "It Began About Dusk" on AO3 <3

OH MY GOD THE FLATTERY‼️‼️‼️ you’re making me blush here anon. im so glad that you find my posts helpful!!! AND IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY FICS i have a chapter of it began about dusk in the drafts rn so you’ll get more content soon

now this is a tricky question because im absolutely insane and ive barely ever read short books. right now im reading His Excellency by Joseph J Ellis and i recommend it!! its only around 2-300 pages which is the shortest history book ive got VSJWBW primary sources can be really good to get in book form, things like Common Sense by Thomas Paine, Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior (Washington’s rule book), and Memoir of Lieut. Col. Tench Tilghman, Secretary and aid to Washington are all primary sources i have on my shelf that are short and sweet.

i also have Hercules Mulligan by Micheal J. Obrien which i haven’t read but is VERY small. there is also James Monroe by Gary Hart which is short but i have not finished (i dont even truly remember reading it but i annotated part of it apparently), The Drillmaster of Valley Forge by Paul Lockhart is a little longer than those others, but still isn’t chernow levels of wrong, but i also haven’t read that one. Thomas Jefferson and the Tripoli Pirates by Brian Kilmeade and Don Yaeger isn’t the most serious history book, but it is pretty good and an easy read.

as for secondary source websites, start with encyclopedias ie Britannica, which post short articles on different historical figures and events that give you the overview. from there im gonna point you to the National Park Service. this is the best thing the US government has ever made for researchers. this is all your battlefields, winter encampments, historical reproductions, and former capitals. also check out private residences turned museums, such as Mount Vernon, Monticello, and Schuyler Mansion. these institutions have an abundance of easily accessible information on more than just the people who lived there.

now the Library of Congress was a good decision on Jefferson’s part, but it can be inaccessible if you don’t know how to use it well because their website is one of my least favorite things about being alive. so instead, i recommend using Founders Online for any primary source regarding the founding fathers or amrev figures. the Washington Papers are filled to the brim with almost everything that went out of headquarters during all 8 years of the war. founders online is the shit

all of these websites i’ve mentioned are free to access, because i do not pay money on any research tools besides books out of spite for late stage capitalism. also any primary source is 100% accessible online. that includes memoirs and court transcripts, which can be very helpful

also i really do recommend watching documentaries and informational videos on the subjects you’re interested in while doing work or other things if you’re someone who does that (ik some people don’t have background noise but im just assuming you’re as neurodivergent as i am) because you can absorb just a little of that information and it being about a subject of interest can make academics seem a little less miserable!

i hope this is helpful and if you have absolutely any further questions, feel free to ask. i know im very privileged to have the time and resources to read long ass books, which is why i very freely share the information i absorb with the public bc i believe education should never be gatekept by anyone. so if you have any questions, im happy to research them for you, or at least point you in the right direction. love ya!!

[stupendousfoxthing]

if there were to be video or something that came out of jk doing something clearly romantic w a girl, would u think we misinterpreted tkk all this time and were just reading into their interactions way too much? or would u maybe believe they were together at one point and ended it? maybe they’d be in an open relationship? or maybe it rlly was for show?

i didn’t follow ur blog at the time of when the shitstorm happened w the sasaeng taking a video of jk and a girl in his apartment (ik it’s an old topic but it’s one of the only things that gets in the way of tkk for me) but i’m interested to know ur take on whether that video was a romantic interaction or could’ve been just friendly? i believe it was 100% a real video and at first i was so heartbroken and confused abt tae and jk’s relationship. i grappled back and forth w the nature of the interaction in the sasaeng video for a while but the more i watched it the more i thought okay wait it’s like a 15 second video taken super out of context of just one location in his apartment where u can’t even rlly see if they’re alone or what happened prior. and it could be platonic (there were pics of him back hugging his female tattoo artist who was just a friend) especially if he’s not straight and the girl knows about that? i feel like there’s a lot more leeway w platonic physical affection between women and queer men than with straight men (even tho ik of friendships between both straight men and women that are also physically affectionate but still totally platonic). however, i sometimes feel like that sounds like me just rationalizing why it may not be romantic and being in denial. idk bc i don’t want to blindly believe in tkk but i can’t explain away tae and jk’s interactions as being totally platonic either so then i get super conflicted.

sorry ik this is rambling atp and it may be a topic u don’t want to address anymore but i’d love to hear ur interpretation of that whole scenario and how it affected ur beliefs and views on jk/tkk

It would be very hard to convince me now that there wasn't something between Taekook at some point, and it certainly wouldn't all be undone by a clearly romantic something between Jungkook and a girl. You definitely would not be able to convince me that what they did was "for show". Their relationship is authentic no matter what the nature of that relationship is. I've been a Taekooker for a long time now and I think I'm older than the average here. I not only have plenty of receipts for my belief in Taekook, I have context for all of those receipts because I was here when it happened. I was much more active on Twitter when the tattoo artist "scandal" happened, and I actually got tagged with a few of my TK friends by the first shady accounts trying to spread it. When I think back on that time, I just feel bad for everyone involved. Even the tattoo studio staff, who were harassed mercilessly and had their shop vandalized. That had much bigger impact than the recent video, but it's funny because when I saw the convo around that I was just thinking I've already seen him back hugging a woman. If that was enough to debunk Taekook I would have bailed in 2019. The intention of this rumor was exactly the same as well. It follows the same pattern as every other. Post something with no context and that's actually not proof of anything, but spin some wild stories about it. It's very easy with interactions between a man and a woman. Every person I see still posting it everywhere says the woman in the video is his pregnant gf. That's obviously not true. People freaked out because they were told more was coming. That didn't happen. I agree with a lot of your second paragraph. I don't put more weight on interactions just because they're between a man and a woman. I do think it's weird that a few seconds without any context would be enough to question just because it is a man and a woman. I've had plenty of interactions like that with male friends I had no romantic feelings about. Hell, when I was Jungkook's age if a stalker wanted to they could have gotten video of me hugging and kissing people I also had no romantic interest in and never dated. That informs my perspective on things. It's not just heteronormative, it's all a little puritanical to me. I actually wasn't blogging here until a few weeks ago so you're my first ask about this. I appreciate your message. After days of nothing, I got yours and then another (which I'm not going to post because it was obviously someone trying to start shit) a couple of hours later about the exact same topic, so I was a little sus about people trying to troll. But your questions were asked in good faith so I wanted to answer genuinely. Hope you're having a good weekend. ❤️

[libelelle]

ik youve probably said this b4 but i forgor: venice is good with history but what's the general knowledge on sonic + friends? is this all folk stories or textbook material?

Answer got a little long so its under here : ) ⬇️

Textbook material!! Most of their adventures are well known, but a lot of details and events are messed up. Silvers existence as a whole has been basically erased. Someone made very sure that there was nothing identifiable about this mysterious person who occasionally helped sonic in some of his most famous adventure.

Overall the public knowledge is that he was a really important hero, but the actual stories about what he did are inconsistent and either dramaticized or watered down. Venice knows more than average, and has done a crazy amount of research on popular theories. He has a pretty good idea of what actually happened, or he thought he did before Silver showed up. The most well documented events is probably the War, just on account of the resistance members and their accounts of the events (despite this, silvers identity was still erased. Bet that was fun to do) topics they probably covered from sonics era are the War, flooding of station square, the events of sa2, black arms invasion, mostly just planetwide threats that everyone knew about when they happened. Things like the black arms invasion are the biggest victims of inaccuracies.

There are folk stories too, some that are true!!! The events on Starfall islands is probably one of them, and theyre also something Silver got scolded for saying were real in history classes : (

As for sonics friends, a lot of knowledge on knuckles is obscure. They know he existed, but angel islands isolation kept a lot of details of his personal life secret. Amy and Tails are more well known, theyre both pretty big heroes in their own rights (i really love the idea of sonic and co. having fans in the future btw. Hermes is everything to me) tails is also very well know for his work in technology on the islands, and his work inspired a lot of interest in tech and chaos energy among mobians. Creams also a lesser known name, but shes got up there with amy and sonic as she got older.