alwayslookingforthebooty

[alwayslookingforthebooty]

11/18/20

Today is November 18th ,2020. Today I woke up at 4:30am, itching to write letters to my past, and honestly, I think I will send them. It was very cathartic to get everything out on the table, I truly feel like I am entering a new stage of my life and in order to bring things in you have to let things go. Three letters to three people seemed like a good place to start. I feel so much better letting all those things air out in the winds of spirit. I am transforming everyday into a better person and for that I am thankful. I am grateful for getting my last paper of the year turned in, for getting my classes locked down, I am looking forward to the new semester of school. I realize I say a lot of things that I want to do, but I never do them when I tell everyone that's what I am doing. It's time to shut up and start embodying the life I want to live. I know what to do and what I want to do but what is stopping me? How many times have I said I want to volunteer and get a job but how many times have I even put in a mere application or resume? How often do I say I want to do mantras and meditation and yoga and how frequently do I actually go in and do those things? It's time to start preparing myself better, my time better, and stop hoping for the approval to do those things. No one is going to do them for me but myself. Time to stop beating myself down and start lifting myself up. When you've dug yourself a hole, put the damn shovel down! Floss your teeth, clean your room, exercise frequently, take long walks alone, let your frustrations out with a rubber bat, and write everyday. Everyday has something new in store, it’s just about exploring the day and uncovering your potential. I used to be scared of success, now success is scared of me. I show up as a warrior, mentally, physically and spiritually present and I take active steps to activate each and every one. There is no limit or specific combo you have to do to get the most out of the day, all you gotta do is stop talking, and start doing. Opportunities will come and go, and the only thing between you and walking through that door, is walking. Making the decision and following through. Two steps, each difficult, each tasked with bringing you to a higher potential. I am here to serve humanity, and the best way to do that is to create the best you. Be the best you you can be. That's all I can say for now. I am choosing to be productive today and to embody the standards I have set for myself. I love you Kristina, and thank you for doing the work.

[alwayslookingforthebooty]

11/15/20

Today is November 15th, 2020. It's Sunday, and as a Leo , Sundays are usually my favorite days. Today I woke up early, since I slept upright the sun was the first to kiss my eyes with her warm light. I am on my 3rd day since my surgery, I want to say it's getting easier but it's not yet. I think i've put down maybe half a pound of food since my operation. I just want a teeny tiny spoon man. Just one. Regardless of that fact Elliot has been taking extraordinary good care of me, he helps me when I am scared to take my huge pills, he's there when I inevitably choke on them, he's there to help clean up my drool, to wipe my tears, and to exchange my saliva soaked towels. I really couldn’t have asked more out of a person. Even my own mother has trouble looking at me right now, and I don't blame her lol. But Elliot has been there, and is there for me. A partner straight from the heavens. I am extremely blessed. 

For now I must focus on the present, hopefully I can feed myself a little better today, and I'll sleep a little more. I feel my body getting weaker, I am also getting closer to my menstrual cycle, so i need to up the food intake and the protein so my cycle doesn’t absolutely suck ass. It's easier said than done. Hopefully after today my front gums will stop bleeding and I can take out the gauze, but to be honest I am scared for that too, I like the feeling that the gauze is protecting it. It's just too raw to be left unprotected. Anyway, gotta run towards your fears and not away. But in this case I'll keep a healthy fear of it since it is my body and I want to make sure it heals in the best way too. That's all for now, I am excited to see my new teeth after all this pain. Lol and I thought 5am workouts were hard. I would choose that over this anyday.

[alwayslookingforthebooty]

11/12/20

Today is November 12th,2020. This morning I did a 5am workout with Kevin Walton. I think that was one of the hardest workouts we’ve ever done considering we didn’t even do a 3rd round of it. Very intense. Also Vi was a huge inspiration, as I went into the house I walked into her doing mantras and chants. Made me think of doing that when I wake up, especially if I wake up in a mood. Om shanti Jai Jai Rama Ra. I am grateful for waking up and pushing myself to get unbelievably sweaty. I knew that it was also harder for me since I decided to eat meat yesterday, as I go into my 9th year being a vegetarian I get more and more sensitive to the effects of meat on the human body. It really slows you down. This month I have received even more messages of aligning with the divine masculine. That is my Soul work for this month. I want to get very deliberate and precise about how I spend my time and schedule my day from now on. Ironic that I choose to do this the day before I get my dental surgery. Lol. I am committed to talking to you Kristina everyday though, but this is the first time I have ever been public about my personal journeys, this is pretty much my personal diary. Now, it's my public diary, lol. Kinda like the phrase dance like nobody's watching. That's how I feel writing this. I have come a long way, and I still have a long way to go. I am really nervous about my surgery though, I have never been under anesthesia. Never blacked out either. It will be a very weird experience for me. I hope I have the best dreams though while they're ripping out my teeth lmao. 

Integrating this new schedule and sticking with it is not going to be an easy feat but I must do it. We all gotta start somewhere. Some of the habits I want to incorporate into my routine is time spent learning spanish, reading, writing, and also some time to train with Maya and also play with her. She's still a puppy and has a lot of work yet to be done. Standards are about to get raised the fuck up! I look forward to challenging myself in this way. I think i'll be more productive and learn more than I ever have. Doing it all without weed holding me back is incredibly liberating. I have never felt so free. I never thought I would feel this way or that this day would ever come, but it has, and it feels damn good. I also want to learn how to make jewelry. I think that would be a nice side gig when Elliot and I are on the road. I want to learn crystal wrapping, and how to make all kinds of dope ass necklaces. Once I learn more about that I can expand and start making rings and earrings and things like that. It's a good market, even men enjoy jewelry, especially spiritual men. I can infuse different intentions with it and make it super creative. I look forward to that, just like this shower i'm about to take because boy am I sweaty. I also later on want to get into making the things I use most such as, candles, bath bombs, and even making burritos. Because your girl loves a nice burrito. I want to master the art of making arepas too, so I can have a piece of my culture everywhere I go. Okay, thank you for planning and speaking to me Kristina, after your shower you’ll call the dentist and start your summary so your finished draft can be turned in no later than noon today. Then if Natalie wants to hang we have that time too. Lets be deliberate about waking up at 6:30am everyday and going strong until noon. Then once we master that, we can move into evening and night time schedules. I just don't want to overwhelm you so you can finish through strong. One step at a time baby girl, you got this shit in the bag.

[alwayslookingforthebooty]

11/11/20

Today is November 11th,2020. It's my Dad's birthday today, and many are speaking of the portals of manifestation that open with 1111. Its been a really slow day for me though, I think I am PMS-ing like a bitch ! I really don't enjoy waking up with an attitude, it doesn't feel like me. Anger feels so intrusive in my body. I want to reject it and its one of the hardest emotions to accept and go into. It doesn’t help that as a person I am transparent as fuck lmao. Some people can put on a mask and go on about their day. Honestly I’m glad I don't have a mask to hide behind, because I always receive the support I need to get through my emotions instead of trying to overpass them with rationalizations. We all have a hard time accepting where we are at wherever we are at. We all contain the full spectrum of emotions. But we must know, that through any identity or persona, we are more then that, we are more then it all. Multi-dimensional beings. I am a Warrior, a being of light put here to transcend limitations of fear and stories of lack. Not everyday do I feel like a radiant solar Leo priestess. Some days, like today, I feel like garbage, a mopey mop of mopiness. Relentlessly agitated. A sack of dirty potatoes. And thats okay too. Because I know that I am more then that, and today will pass. Just like every other bad day I have ever had. Yesterday was worse though, I felt a lot of anxiety, and by the end of the night I was shaking and crying while desperately filling my tub with water so I could feel the rush of serenity. Its good to cry, and it rarely gets that bad anymore, but honestly I learned a lot from it. I know that although I lead a very happy life, eventually the darkness will creep in again, and it's really just learning how to cope with it and accept it at this point. My eyes are still puffy, and yet I am grateful for those learning moments, because I realize that although I can’t turn it off like a switch, I can ease myself down with the grounding exercises, and use my voice to communicate how I'm feeling once I start coming down from it. Because when you're in it, you become this puddle of emotion, all sense of identity seems to fade away, and you are left with the thoughts swirling around your head. A lot of people don't know how to deal with panic attacks, or anxiety, because it looks foreign, startling, they think, what is wrong with you and how can I fix you. But it's not about fixing me, it's about accepting me where I am at, and making me feel like I belong again. In my head I am already alienating myself, and honestly the worst thing you can do as a supporter is make me feel more alien, more rejected . Acceptance is the key. When we accept things as they are instead of trying to change them, you can flow easier in the situation. Bringing it back to my dad. It was really hard for me to accept his actions, his mistakes, and who I believed him to be. But by accepting him and forgiving him for the past, its allowed me to finally be present with who he is now, and some of the things about him that will never change. He is my father, and he’s done fucked up shit, but I still love him. The same goes for me. I am Kristina, and i've done some fucked up shit, and I can be messy as hell, sometimes I don't know which version of myself Ill get, but I still love myself. Through it all. That is loyalty, being so dedicated to your growth that you push past it all to get back to love. Love is really where it's at, it's where life gets interesting, takes a turn for the best. When we live in love, we live in acceptance, we reflect often, and realize what it really means to be a human. All the things we are blessed with. All those who have supported us even though at the time we didn't feel deserving. Love can come and sneak in just like fear can. Its the seeds we plant in our mind that judge what thoughts can stay and what thoughts get ejected. Back then the seeds of fear were so strong in my head that love didnt know how to survive there. Now the seeds of love in my brain are so vast that fear has a hard time hanging on lmao. I am where I never thought I could be before. My sadness transmits into gratitude. I learned that the more grateful you are, the more abundance comes your way. Im not just talking money, but experiences of fullness, richness, community, feeling abundant means feeling empowered and whole to, just as you are. We are meant to live our lives in love, we are meant to find our greatest gifts, and share them with the world. In this way we not only heal ourselves, but others too. And for that, I am grateful. Grateful for this day where I feel like shit, because at least I know, I am not shit, and I can and will, get through anything. I love you Kristina, thank you for writing to me again.

[alwayslookingforthebooty]

Starting a new thingy.

I have no idea the last time I used this account but I don’t care. I just simply want to share my life on a plateform, my lessons. And I hope this thing can carry a lot of text, because I have a lot to say..

Today is November 10th, 2020. I have been meaning to write to you Kristina. I would say you are on the right track, although it doesn't always feel that way. Pertaining to my last document, of healing and releasing Marijuanna as my medicine and healing, I have found new medicine’s. Laughter is medicine, Stillness is medicine, Movement is medicine, Sharing my journey is medicine, Writing is medicine, and I vow to do this act . To qualm my storms. I have discovered so much in October, hidden power, hidden purpose, I have found my power as a healer. One day I will be a master. I write this to you Kristina. On November 3rd, you took a hit off a joint Adrianna rolled. You sat with the taste in your mouth, it tasted like the first time you ever smoked, kind of off putting, but enjoyable. After you realized that last month, you faced your fears, finally feeling fears purpose. Acceleration points for growth. You only asked for a hit because you were scared of losing everything you worked so hard for last month. Scared of starting back at square one. But as you spoke to Amber about this , she reminded you what actually happened. You never start back at square one, this showed up because you still have healing to do, one month of dedication doesn't erase years of Marijuanna abuse. I am training myself, to go towards my fears, to seek discomfort.

I would like to speak on Samhain, or otherwise known as Halloween. In North Carolina, we celebrated this holiday, this very powerful blue moon, honoring our ancestors , the deceased but still alive in the warm hearts that walk this earth. The spirits I saw, and I saw many spirits, were all paternal. It allowed me to really feel the divine masculine for what it is, and not what I previously thought it was. It was a feeling, a warm hand, planted firmly on the shoulder, fully present, with the voice that said “I am here” “I am with you”. It showed me where to go, how could I integrate this divine masculine, so that too my divine feminine, could shine in all her glory? I also met Zoey, a 13 year old girl, shaking in the corner of the dancefloor, biting her nails and quivering. To me, she looked like shimmering gold in a field of darkness. She was radiant, although I am sure I am the only one who saw this. What would you say to your inner child when they themselves are going through the darkest period of their life? I went over, spoke to her, related to when I was thirteen, and shared my experiences. She actually was smiling with me, chuckling, and I held incredible space with her. By the time we were done with our conversation, she wasn't shaking anymore, she regained her naturally calm demeanor, although i'm sure she doesnt think that. She was an Aquarius, born early February, and I was so grateful to be her mother that night, her second mother lol. The woman who was taking care of her had the same birthday as me, but she was born in ‘82. Second time in my life I have met another August 17th baby such as I. She had toddlers back at home, and how i would describe her, would be one word, squirrely. She embodied the Squirrel , danced unlike anyone I have ever seen, and I was grateful for her. Thank you Zoey, for being such a divine reflection . You were definitely my favorite part about that night. 

I am learning when to push and pull myself, holding the sacred container for growth while still nurturing and expanding my feminine. If one is misaligned, they both are. As I grow into more of myself, more of who I am meant to be, who I have always been, I am always reminded how feelings are the only true form of communication. How sharing my story with others, privately or not, is expansive. When we share our vulnerabilities, it gives others the space to share their vulnerabilities too. And sometimes you never really know how badly someone needs that. When you feel connected, it opens the space to feel empowered and whole. And thats what I want to bring people back to. Safety and significance above all.

[alwayslookingforthebooty]

Please Keep Signing! 

(New petitions in bold)

George Floyd - change.org

George Floyd - amnesty.org

George Floyd - colorofchange.org

Get The Officers Charged

Charge All Four Officers

Breonna Taylor - moveon.org

Breonna Taylor - colorofchange.org

Breonna Taylor - justiceforbreonna.org

Breonna Taylor - change.org

Breonna Taylor - thepetitionsite.com

Ahmaud Arbery - change.org

Ahmaud Arbery - change.org 2

Ahmaud Arbery - change.org 3

Justice for Oluwatoyin Salau

Pass The Georgia Hate Crime Bill

Defund MPD

Life Sentence For Police Brutality

Regis Korchinski - change.org

Tete Gulley - change.org

Tony McDade - change.org

Tony McDade - actionnetwork.org

Tony McDade - thepetitionsite.com

Joao Pedro - change.org

Julius Jones - change.org

Belly Mujinga - change.org

Willie Simmons - change.org

Hands Up Act - change.org

National Action Against Police Brutality

Kyjuanzi Harris - change.org

Alejandro Vargas Martinez - change.org

Censorship Of Police Brutality In France

Sean Reed - change.org

Sean Reed - change.org 2

Kendrick Johnson - change.org

Tamir Rice - change.org

Tamir Rice - change.org 2

Fire Racist Criminal From The NYPD

Jamee Johnson - organizefor.org

Darius Stewart - change.org

Darius Stewart - moveon.org

Abolish Prison Labor

Free Siyanda - change.org

Chrystul Kizer - change.org

Chrystul Kizer - change.org 2

Andile Mchunu (Bobo) - change.org

Eric Riddick - change.org

Amiya Braxton - change.org

Emerald Black - change.org

Elijah Nichols - change.org

Zinedine Karabo Gioia - change.org

Angel Bumpass - change.org

Sheku Bayoh - change.org

Angel DeCarlo - change.org

Sandra Bland - change.org

Sherrie Walker - change.org

Darrien Hunt - change.org

Cornelius Fredericks - change.org

Elijah McClain - change.org

James Scurlock - change.org

Darren Rainey- change.org

Kendrick Johnson- change.org

Darrius Stewart- change.org

LaVena Johnson- change.org

Kenneka Jenkins- change.org

Sam Dubose- change.org

Philando Castile- change.org

Philando Castile - signmoveon.org

Natasha McKenna- change.org

Freddie Gray- change.org

The Freddie Gray Law - Assess, Treat, and Safely Transport -signmoveon.org

Samuel DuBose- change.org

Kimani Gray- care2petitions 

Kenneth Chamberlain Sr- signmoveon.org

Sean Bell- change.org

Jennifer Jeffley- change.org

Oliver Campbell- change.org

Bruce Greenway- change.org

Dominique Fells - change.org

Rayshard Brooks - change.org

Alfred Wright - change.org

Mubarak Soulemane- change.org

Byron Williams- change.org

Mitrice Richardson- change.org

AJ Mitchell (a boy with autism) - change.org

Merci Mack- change.org

Lakeith Smith + A’Donte Washington- change.org

Malik Thomas- change.org

Matthew Tucker- change.org

Malik Williams (paraplegic man shot at 84 times)- change.org

http://www.pb-resources.com/

https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

PLEASE REBLOG! THIS IS AN UPDATED LIST! 

DON’T IGNORE US!

*You don’t need to donate to change.org, donate directly to the families. Also if there’s a problem with a petition (or you have a petition I should add), please dm me instead of reblogging so I can fix it faster.*

[alwayslookingforthebooty]

where’s my queer eye: girls edition, i want five lesbians to come give my life a makeover

[alwayslookingforthebooty]

[alwayslookingforthebooty]

On 4/20/17, the Wyoming PD posted a #Happy420 tweet to call attention to substance abuse. They also offered help for those in need, and promised that accepting it would not result in jail time. Source Source 2

[alwayslookingforthebooty]

[alwayslookingforthebooty]

[alwayslookingforthebooty]

[alwayslookingforthebooty]

[alwayslookingforthebooty]

i love old ladies

i’m at the bus stop and these two very old ladies suddenly recognize each other and very sincerely one goes “holy shit you’re still alive!!” and the other says “i’m gonna outlive my husband if it kills me”

[alwayslookingforthebooty]

dreams on sale, today only

[alwayslookingforthebooty]

No offense but literally nothing and no one is and will ever be out of your league. Nothing is too good for you. Nobody has the right to make you feel like you are not enough or less than you are, you deserve the world.

[alwayslookingforthebooty]

BE NICE TO MY SON!!!