#souls is going to kick my ass (affectionately)

[electrozeistyking]

I am so incredibly curious about N and Uzi before…. N had to kill her…

What was life like as a married drone couple? How did they do their wedding? How awkward was the conversation about having a kid?

I’m also curious about V in this AU, what are her thoughts on all that’s going on… N killing Uzi, N having a kid, N being fricken’ depressed… She was a broken individual in the canon, is she still just as broken here? Has she healed from all that the solver’s but her through?

sorry for the many questions, but as an obsessive individual you have crafted the perfect thing for me to obsess over and i am dying for more content lol.

p.s. are there more fics to come? Ik ya only have the one prologue rn, are more chapters on their way?

Hey, no need to apologize for being curious! I quite like the amount of questions! Tells me you're interested in the AU, y'know? Anyway, let me dig up some old notes!

These aren't the full notes, though. A lot was cut, especially if they involved spoilers and/or if they made this go on for too long.

Everything was as fine as it could possibly be on this frozen, toxic exoplanet. Hell, this stretch of fine-ness went on long enough that one of them decided to propose to the other.

And by one of them, I mean Uzi. 

This is based on some observations (aka the hand holding thing in Episode 6), but N was a major fucking dork when V asked him if he was thinking about proposing to Uzi — y’know, saying things like “I don’t know if I should” and “maybe she doesn’t want to go that far” and “maybe we’re fine as is?”

Then meanwhile Uzi’s been drawing up plans on how the hell she’s going to propose to this tall ass robot.

In the end, she kinda threw it all to the wind and decided to do so with no big events or plans or anything. She kinda panicked, though, so she said “Do you wanna marry me?” instead of “Will you marry me?”

N nearly short-circuited trying to say yes. He was kind of having a “Oh my goodness, this is happening????” moment and a “OH SHE DOES WANT TO GO THAT FAR” moment at the exact same time, so something may have literally sparked.

[...] there was a funny period of time where the duo kept very suddenly realizing they’re married, like it didn’t actually sink in until that moment. 

In fact, N exclaimed “oh my goodness” and leaned against something every time it occurred to him.

Unfortunately, the good fluffy times couldn’t last forever. 

You see, one way or another, our beloved robotic dorks somehow found themselves on the topic of having a kid. The conversation itself was fine, if slightly awkward at first (what with N being unsure he’d be good at parenting, anyway). However, just as they reached the peak of “hey, would they be more disassembler or more worker” jokes, Uzi started coughing. 

Which is not normal for any kind of drone. Unless they accidentally swallow something wrong, or if the air’s a bit too thick for whatever reason, drones don’t cough for seemingly no reason. And yet, despite how odd it was, both of them tried to brush it off.

In a brilliant moment of jumping to conclusions (even if they’re the right ones), Uzi realized that The Solver was trying to take over her body.

In a panic, N tried to help any way he could, but felt like he was doing nothing in the process. Uzi just kept getting worse, and every time they landed up empty-handed, the thought he was failing her stung even more. 

V tried to help as well, out of fear over what that thing would do if It took over (and because she did think of Uzi as a friend, even if she’d never admit it to her face).

When The Solver started hijacking her body during one such search to find a way to stop It, Uzi realized it was all over for her. 

Whatever this thing was — whatever It wanted — wasn’t good. And so, in a moment of desperation and panic, she came up with a plan to destroy It. Hopefully, if everything worked in their favour, It’d be gone once and for all.

Of course, its success banked on N’s cooperation. Since V split off from the duo this time, he was the only disassembly drone who could possibly carry it out. Predictably, he tried to decline at first, seeing as the plan was to kill Uzi and destroy her core.

However, when Uzi explained that this was the only way to get rid of this fucking thing, N reluctantly agreed. Despite being incredibly painful, he brought out his laser gun (which is what I think it is, shut up) and the couple had one last heartfelt goodbye.

But then, just as N went to shoot her, the laser turned an awful shade red he’s never seen before and started malfunctioning — something that’s supposed to rarely ever happen. N panicked, calling out Uzi’s name... right before the weapon exploded.

V felt the vibrations of the explosion from where she stood and immediately rushed to N and Uzi’s location. She assumed that something went wrong, but what she saw was not what she expected.

Uzi was dead. 

There was a Fatal Error message on her visor, as clear as day. She was in multiple pieces, with a hole in her chest right where her core was supposed to be — having most likely imploded, thanks in part to The AbsoluteSolver’s weirdness.

While N was alive, his body was in rough shape. He’d been split in two due to the blast, and his chest had been cracked wide open. Judging from how dark smoke billowed from where one of his hands should’ve been, something had gone completely wrong. 

But how? There was a very small chance their weapons could malfunction, and yet... what the fuck happened?

V chose not to dwell on it too long. N’s body wasn’t regenerating on its own fast enough for some reason, and he was losing a shit ton of oil at an alarming rate. 

Fuelled by pure adrenaline, V somehow managed to carry both of N’s halves and all of Uzi’s pieces back to the Outpost.

[joonberriess]

⊹₊ ⋆ “that dick make my soul smile,”

TAGS — creampie, fingering, slight degradation, dirty talk (LOTS), jk’s a sleazy mess at first, oc is done, mamas is stressed out, rough sex, jk rocks her shit 💀, some praise here n there, jk’s affectionate tonight, sex tapes r mentioned again, shower sex(?) not rlly, possessive!jk, breeding kink, never ending saga of jk saying “mama” or “ma”

WORD COUNT — 2.6 k

“Trash, trash, trash,” you mumble to yourself while you sort out the mail in your hands, “oh definitely trash.” You sigh and shake your head. You’re knocked out of your thoughts when you feel a pair of arms wrap around your middle and pull you back, “What the hell–” You hiss in surprise.

“Hey mama.” Jungkook’s stupid voice comes from behind, you already know he’s sporting a stupid grin on his fucking face. You shove his arms off and turn around to look at him with an annoyed glare, “Oh c’mon don’t be like that, aren’t you happy to see me? You weren’t mad at me like this yesterday when you had my head between your–” You quickly reach up to cover his mouth and look around the empty hall.

“Are you insane? There’s people around, Jesus, you don’t have any shame do you?” You side eye him, “First off,” you shake your head, “what are you doing here? I didn’t text you and Jiho didn’t ask, so why are you here?” You give him a look, “And if you’re looking for Jiho you’d know he’s on a camping trip with his cousins.”

Jungkook raises his hands in surrender, “Can’t a man come see his baby mama anymore? Shit you suck the fun out of trying to surprise you baby,” he shakes his head but you know, Jeon Jungkook isn’t fooling anyone and certainly not you.

“You forgot, didn't you.” You scoff, “Of course you did, what else did I expect? This camping trip is all Jiho talked about last week and yet you still manage to forget that because you’re thinking with your other head.” You roll your eyes and turn to unlock the front door, “Sometimes I wonder what Jiho even fucking sees in you, you’re a deadbeat Jungkook, a deadbeat.”

Jungkook chuckles, “To be fair my other head is the reason you get a good night’s sleep.” He says with a smirk on his lips as he stands there admiring the way your ass looks in that tight pencil skirt you’re wearing. You turn around to shoot him a glare but say nothing else and simply step into your apartment. Jungkook leans against the doorframe with both arms raised, “So, you gonna let me in sweetheart?” He licks his lips, poking his tongue out to push at his lip ring.

You look into his eyes and then down at his lips, “Well?” You shrug your coat and slip your heels off, “You gonna stand there all night or what?” He chuckles quietly and slips into your apartment, shutting the door behind him.

“This is new.” Jungkook comments, “Don’t remember you ever smoking.” He inspects the ashtray with a noncommittal hum.

“It’s not just for me.” You say uncharacteristically calm, “I bought it for you, figured you needed one since you love leaving a mess on my patio.” You don’t miss the way he smiles fondly at you, “Don’t get too excited dipshit, I smoke too, don't forget that.” You scoff and disappear down the hall.

Jungkook whistles under his breath and follows after you, “I didn’t say anything ma,” he kicks your bedroom door closed and settles himself over your bed, “what’s up with you? You’re not being your usual angry self.” He watches you go around your room putting things away and picking out your clothes.

“I’m tired Jungkook, I had two meetings back to back and all I wanna do is come home to shower and sleep. Can’t do that because you decided to come bother me at this fuckin’ hour.” You mumble and then throw a pair of panties at him full speed, “Don’t think I didn’t see the shit you posted either, you’re not funny.”

Jungkook throws his head back with a laugh, “Really? Cause I thought it was hilarious, I think it perfectly describes us.” He cheekily grins at you with that dumb lovestruck look of his.

You stop to give him an exasperated look, “Jungkook,” sigh, “telling people you’re always fucking your baby mama regardless is not funny, neither is saying ‘I fuck her when she mad at me.’ You’re a child.” You shake your head. You throw more clothes onto the bed and grab your robe and towel, “Don’t make a mess in my house Jungkook, I’m not in the mood tonight.”

Jungkook watches you with a pleased smile, “I won’t.” He reaches for your tv remote, “I’ll be rightttt here, sitting like a good boy for you ma.” He winks, “You just go ‘head and shower.” You eyed him suspiciously for a few seconds, he kept smiling goofily so you ended up walking away with no words.

You know he was up to something with the way he kept smiling so stupid. You grumble under your breath and hope he just doesn’t cause you to have a fucking aneurysm or something. You swear this man was going to send you to an early grave at this point.

Everything sounded pretty quiet out there, you heard Jungkook get up at some point but you figured he was going to smoke or get something. He even left the TV on, which you were grateful for because you didn’t do too well with silence. “What are you doing..” You mutter with closed eyes, just enjoying the hot water running down your exhausted body.

You were in the middle of reaching for your loofah when you heard the glass door open and Jungkook step in after you. “Pass me that bottle over there.” You softly hum.

Jungkook whistles softly and tugs you back into him, “Relax baby, let me do all the work.” He says in your ear, “I got you..” He gently pries the loofah out of your hands, “Worked so hard this entire week, baby deserves to rest.” He squirts some of your body wash onto the loofah. You don’t correct him because that’s true, hell you deserved this princess treatment for putting up with his ass too.

He gently ran his hand over your body, lathering your body up in the soap suds leaving you smelling like strawberries. He doesn’t try any funny business surprisingly, when he finishes he puts his hands on your shoulders and begins massaging gently. A quiet moan escapes your lips as relief rushes through you, “Damn you’re stiff as shit here.” Jungkook comments.

You lean your head back on his chest with a closed eye smile, “You’re finally being useful for once.” You chuckle.

“What are you talking about? I fuck you plenty baby, far as I know this dick makes you fall asleep faster than the fucking melatonin you take.” He laughs, making you laugh a little too. Jungkook lets your shoulders go and wraps his arms around your waist, tugging you backwards so your back is to his front. “Got you something special.” He mumbles into your shoulder.

“Did you now?” you huff in amusement and gently stroke his arm, “What did you get hm?”

“Nothing much, figured you needed a night in so I ordered some fried chicken and soju.” He lays gentle kisses over your shoulder and buries his face in your neck, “I set up a movie to watch too.”

You turn your head to face him, looking into his eyes before smiling softly and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips, “Thank you. Guess you’re not a dipshit afterall.” He laughs at your words and you ignore him, opting to press your lips against his once more. Jungkook welcomes you, his fingers dance across your tummy and inch downwards causing your breath to hitch in excitement.

Jungkook’s lips wetly smack against yours, muffled grunt leaving him as he holds you tighter against him. The kiss initially started off slow and more controlled, now it’s wet and messy with sloppy noises filling the space between you two. You pant into his mouth and your eyes flutter open to look at him pleadingly.

Jungkook grins softly as he pushes you towards the glass, “There you go baby, let loose for me, I’ll make you feel so fucking good.” He has you pressed right up against the glass, tits smushed and hands on either side of you. You bite your lip and push your ass back against his thick cock, it’s hot and throbbing against your cheek making you all the more eager to get it inside of you.

“Look at you, pussy’s drooling all over my cock,” he bites his lip and swipes his cockhead through your dewy slick folds, “hear that? ‘s your pussy callin’ out to me baby.” He pushes in slightly, letting the tip pop in with a lewd squelch.

Your lips part in a breathy moan and you push back for more but he stops you with a gentle hand on your hip. “Not here baby, relax for me.” He says as he lets his cock slip out, “Gonna fuck your pussy with my fingers first, get you nice and stretched out before I fuck you with my cock.” He cups your pussy in his hand and lets his fingers slip through the mess dripping from your folds.

Jungkook takes his time opening you up, slipping his middle and then his ring finger into you until they’re knuckle deep. Your mouth falls open but nothing comes out, this is exactly what you needed after those long hours in the office this entire week. Jungkook does not disappoint when he begins pumping them in and out slowly, making sure he hits every nook and cranny inside of you.

“There we go,” Jungkook whispers and begins kissing down your neck, “doing so good for me mama,” he sucks a hickey into your skin, “let go for me.” He nibbles on your earlobe and uses his other hand to wrap around your throat, not choking–simply holding it.

Your eyes flutter shut and you lean your head back on his shoulder, “Oh fuck yes,” you sigh in bliss, “right there.” You circle your hips, gasping when his fingers brush against your g-spot.

Jungkook pulls you back in and kisses up your neck slowly, “You’re so fuckin’ pretty baby, look at you, dripping all over my fingers like a little cock hungry slut. Bet you missed this dick baby, need me to come fuck it in your needy little pussy, have you all spread on the bed for me begging for more,” he whispers as he kisses the side of your face, “you gonna be a good girl and take it?” He jabs his fingers into your g-spot causing a burst of pleasure to hit you.

“Yeah,” you pant softly, “want it deep inside,” you bite your lip and spread your thighs a bit wider, “need it so bad.” You whimper quietly and push back on his fingers.

Jungkook chuckles breathily, “Yeah..” He moves his fingers faster, jostling you as your back arches, “Make it messy for me sweetheart, go ‘head and cum,” he has you locked in place, keeping you from moving anywhere. His fingers piston in and out of you rapidly, loud squelching noises resonating as bits of slick drip down your inner thighs.

“Oh fuck..!” You gasp and clench down, “C-Coming..” You hump his fingers desperately, “K-Keep going, right there, right there,” you whimper out and feel your orgasm come crashing down on you, hitting harder as all the stress lifts itself from your body.

Jungkook slows down until you’re whining in overstimulation, “Clean ‘em.” He slips his wet messy fingers into your mouth, “Fuck.” He groans, “C’mere baby.” He turns you around and lifts you up in his arms, “Need you on my cock.”

“Wait, the water!” You reach behind blindly to turn the knob, groaning when he begins sucking on your soft tits.

.

“Fuck..!” You throw your head back on the pillow with gritted teeth. He’s fucking you so fast and hard you’re honestly no sure what to focus on anymore..him? The skin slapping? The bed creaking? He’s not making it so easy either with the way he’s groaning and panting right by your ear.

Jungkook has you folded under him, his hands grip the back of your thighs and hold them up while he plows your swollen dripping pussy with his fat cock. The room feels stuffy, sheets are strewn about messily and you’re both laid bare in the open without a single care. Jungkook isn’t faring much better, his moans are choked up and every so often you feel him throb inside you.

“You like that baby?” He pants breathlessly against your lips, “Got you clenching so tight around my cock, practically drooling all over me.” He rolls his hips against yours smoothly, pelvis pressing down and rubbing along your clit stimulating it. His balls press against your taint with soft palping noises every time he grinds into you.

You shakily claw at his shoulders and moan needily, the angle certainly has your legs feeling like jelly and your poor cunt throbbing from the pounding he’s giving you. “Love it,” you turn your face to slot your lips against his messily, “fills me up so good baby.” You cup his face in your hands and hold him in place while he works his cock in and out of you.

Jungkook lets out a muffled moan as he starts picking up the pace, hips smacking into yours over and over again with deafening slaps. He lets your thighs go in favor of planting them on either side of you on the bed, “Hear that sloppy little pussy? Got it creaming all over my cock and makin’ a mess. Who’s fuckin’ you baby? C’mon tell me.”

“You are.” You whimper out, “Shit–right there,” you mewl.

“That’s right sweetheart, no one else can give it to you the way I can. You can fucking try but at the end of the day this pussy is mine to fuck,” slap, “mine to use,” slap, “mine to breed.” He growls in your ear lowly, “Gonna ruin you for anyone else, so next the time you plan on letting someone else have it you’ll be remembering the way I fucked you so good.” He hisses softly and sits up, landing a set of punishing thrusts on you, making your body bounce a bit off the mattress.

Your head rolls back and you let out a series of staccato moans, crying out for more and scrambling to grip the bed sheets, the pillows, the blankets–anything. He’s fucking you within an inch of your life and you feel like you’re about to pass out from the sweet pleasure mixed with a tiny hint of pain from the way his hips smack into your ass. “Jungkook..!” You sob out.

Jungkook grits his teeth and reaches down to pinch your clit cruelly, relishing in the way your back arches off the bed. “Go on, cum for me little mama.”

With perfectly aimed thrusts and the combination of his fingers on your sensitive bud, you cum for a second time on his cock. He leaves you trembling on the bed, whimpering and whining. Jungkook follows up shortly with a low moan and your name escaping his lips, “Fucking hell.” He whispers breathlessly.

You let your jelly-like legs fall on the bed, “I’m not getting up.” You mutter, “Put the chicken away, ‘m going to sleep..” You turn on your side and curl up, shivering when his cock slips out of your battered pussy.

Jungkook hums, “The things I do for you baby,” he sighs softly as he strokes your thigh up and down, “lucky I love and appreciate you mama so much.” He rolls out of bed and slips his loose sweats on.

“You love me.” You sleepily mumble, “ ‘n you love my pussy.. I love your dick too.” You smile in your sleep, a bit delirious from the fucking and the strong orgasm he had given you.

Jungkook eyes you with a grin, “Damn right I do.”

TAGLIST: @fragmentof-indifference @jungkooksseuphoria @kooliv @angelarin @jjeonjjk7 @lilliankoo @pb-n-juju @ellesalazar @saweetspoiled @laylasbunbunny @prettyprincejk @cherrysainttt @hyunjinswifeee @joongraduatewithonor @hellbornsworld @leire-mia @m1sss1mp @lissful @winkii @lifeless-firefly @exactlygreatcoffee @taestoess @ayalies @floweryjeons @softtcurse @lilspinachwrld @tearyjjeon @littleobsessedkitty @lovelovelovebts @angeljmnie @rerefundslocals @bangtans-mama @thvhoe @maddkitt @tvse @ohjeon @teteswtnr @jkslovey12 @kelsyx33 @milfpo1ice @sluttydidi @ztyur @beomgyuult @shescharlie @sweet-sourhotcoco @lalita-7 @hazzzelsdimension @p34rluv @kook-net @bonita0-0 @vmapy @dahliadaenerys @frieschan

[th30sstuff]

Since you guys(2 people) liked that and I'm a validation seeker

OBEY ME TICKLISH RANKING FROM MOST TO LEAST

#1 Luke

He's a child, I feel like if you try you can tickle even his shoulders, he's extremely ticklish and is the kind of kid that falls on the floor and starts rolling around trying to escape.

#2 Satan

Just like Luke but not so extreme, grown ass man would start kicking giggling, he would try to threat whoever is doing this at first but if you don't feel intimidated and keeps going is not going to take long before he's either begging for mercy or in his demon form depending on how much he cares for your health

#3 Asmodeus

Fucking look at him.

#4 Mammon

Probably just ticklish at very specific spots but once you find them he melts completely, probably lasts the least before he's yelling between giggles for you to stop and run to the bathroom immediately before he pisses himself

#5 Simeon

He's canonically ticklish because season 4 but I think if he was actually THAT ticklish he wouldn't wear THOSE OUTFITS?!?!? COME ON THOSE ARE MADE FOR TICKLING!!! Also, I think he's good controlling his laughter in this situation.

#6 Levi

He's hard to tickle specially because he stops it quickly when you see it coming, the thing is, you have to do it when he least expects it l8ke when he's playing a game because HE WON'T TRY TO STOP YOU!!! HE JUST STOPS WORKING AND HAS NO IDEA WHAT TO DO

#7 Beel and Belphie

They are the same amount of ticklish, it's not THAT BAD but they are still ticklish.

Beel probably thinks it's nice when people do it because I feel like because both are the youngests they are constantly tickled by their brothers so Beel sees it as affectionate.

Belphie on the other hand probably would be "haha ok" in a second and suddenly he flips a switch and is pushing you away from him with a pout.(WAKE HIM UP WITH TICKLES!!!!)

#8 Lucifer

I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO BE THE LEAST OF THE BROTHERS BUT😭

Still ticklish but just like Levi he would stop by grabbing the wrist of whoever is trying's wrist and glaring with a stern "Don't."

BUT JUST LIKE LEVI, get him when he least expects it, when he's refusing to leave his office for the third meal in a row, when you're cuddling, WAKE HIM UP WITH TICKLES!! I need this tired grown as man ruined trying to save his pride while he obviously can't.

He'd probably scold you with empty words because he's too embarrassed to think but just give him a few kisses or ego strokes and he's sighing exasperated because what else is he going to do anyways, it's not like he can stay mad forever about something like this.

#9 Solomon

Bro is not ticklish, like he feels something if you try but he's not giggling and pissing his pants, he'd probably chuckle a little at the attempt anyways.

#10 Diavolo

Ok so hear me out,

In my head, the royal family has genetically terrible instincts.

But Diavolo is so fucking playful affection deprived that he'd be EUPHORIC that you'd try to tickle him like "OMG ARE WE THAT CLOSE OF FRIENDS??? THAT'S SO SWEET" and would start laughing specially because of it. (Do it right after a meeting and watch the entire council, I mean the brothers, stare at you with terror because WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU)

#11 Barbatos

Don't try, it's just going to be awkward, he'll stare at your soul while not changing his expression at all.

He'd be confused at first, then notice what's happening and around after ten seconds he'd just politely "Could you please stop? I'm quite busy."

PS: I HAD NO IDEA WHERE TO PUT THE UNDATABLES I AM SO SORRY, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SHARE YOUR HCS ABOUT THEM

[monstersandmaw]

I love the Yautja inspired fic over on patreon! I can't comment there but I wanted to tell you. I love how unique they all are and I can't wait for Stark to come around to reader.

I was also wondering if Stark was not only a "I hate humans"-situation but a "While I nearly killed the reader I smelled them and shit am I turned on right now? Better hate them even more for it"-situation as well.

I adore Buddy too he is so cute and yet badass. Also Elder has this very calm and wise vibe. He seems like he's "fond of everyone" (in his team and reader at least) because he's so old and somehow finds everyone amusing and cute who doesn't have the experience he has. I love that. Also Alchemist is such a little freak (fondly speaking).

I'm also curious how Cannon behaves. I am super duper excited and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, thank you!

Can't wait for them to slowly integrate reader into their relationship.

I hope this isn't annoying. Sending lots of love and support!

*flailing* thank you so much!!

(EDIT: think I fixed this now so that anyone can comment on public posts????? I wonder, are you unable to comment because of a Patreon error or because it only allows certain tiers to comment? I didn't deliberately set that up, so if it's the latter, I can look into sorting it!!)

Anyway, back to the boys!

Stark doesn't hate humans, per se, but he does really hate change. It unsettles him and makes him feel like he's losing control. And he really likes to be in control... 😉. And having an alien species (the human reader) on board, messing with his mates' heads and hearts (and chemistry) is a big change for him. He'll come around, eventually, but he'll take his own time... (and some help from the others).

The reader's buddy, Runt, is super fun to write. He's definitely a lil cutie but he can kick ass too when he needs to. He's spent his whole life proving himself to others, so he's tough as fuck (maybe tougher than most others), but he's definitely got a very soft and submissive side too, which he enjoys exploring with his mates in the safety and privacy of their ship.

Elder is super calm, and definitely has a lot of experience and wisdom, but he knows how to have fun too. He will indulge his mates in almost anything, if they ask it of him too.

Alchemist is a huge freak, and they all adore it.

Cannon is Big Chill. Doesn't speak much but has a very deep soul/mind, is very affectionate with his mates, and Very Protecc. He gives amazing cuddles too :).

The next chapter with Runt is going to be a spicy one :). It's about time he got his reward for helping his human out and saving her life, after all! We also learn a bit more about my little headcanons for their biology in this one (it's basically just an excuse for some weird alien sexy times).

Thank you so much for taking the time to send me this! It means the whole flipping world that you did, and I'm so grateful. Thank you.

EDIT: Chapter Five is now up :) Reader POV

(If folks want to read it, all chapters are now free to access over on my Patreon - first chapter here. I'm not sharing new writing on Tumblr because of AI scraping issues, and I want to protect my work and efforts as much as I can. Anything that was free to read on Tumblr is (or will be after early release) free to read on Patreon. I realise far fewer people are going to click off-site to go read them, but that's something I'm willing to accept to protect my efforts).

[daflangstlairde-art]

"Extremophile" 3/4

Part 3 of ocean depths

Summary:

You drown every minute, every second, with every breath you take. You haven’t breathed for so, so long. The icy waters are inside you, deep, deep inside you. All you could ever feel is cold and colder. You haven’t seen the sun in... so... long. It was so far away from you that you couldn’t even picture it anymore. And here was the sun himself. Here was that gasp of air that burned. You’ve been so cold for so long, the warmth feels like death. — Alt summary: It's not easy but boy do I drag Killer (and everyone around him) kicking and screaming towards a healing arc

Chapter 3: "an orchid" 4293 words

—

Killer was bored. He was bored as hell. When wasn't he bored? 

“Hey,” Dream greeted, with a small smile and a wave, “I guess I don't have anything to pass onto you today, so, I brought something of my own?” 

Luckily there was a clown here to entertain him. What a delight. 

“It’s also a bit of a... an apology gift?” Dream continued, rubbing the back of his neck. “Last time I was here, I... kind of freaked you out, and I didn't mean to,”

Killer shrugged. “Whatever,” he hadn't even bothered to stand up upon Dream’s arrival, why would he care about that? 

“Right,” Dream strode over, holding out... 

“...A russian nesting doll,” Killer deadpanned, though he did take the object to inspect it.

(Pointedly avoiding even the smallest point of physical contact with Dream. Not even a brush of their fingers.) 

“Yeah! I– Night told me about... your conversation, and... I agree with him,” Dream said. “Oh! Ink helped me paint it!” 

It was customized. As Killer opened it up, all the dolls had black eyes and a replica of his soul painted on. He snorted. This felt like mockery, honestly. And the thought of Dream of all people being a bully was very funny.

It was made from hard wood. Killer discovered this as he tried to crush one of the pieces with a hand and it didn't buckle. Shame. It would've been fun to watch Dream hide away the hurt that would've caused. 

“Well now that that’s out the way,” Killer stored the thing in his inventory, pushing himself to his feet. Dream stepped back to give him space. Or maybe he was (justifiably) scared that Killer would attack him again (he might). “Take me to– ugh, Underfell,” 

Dream blinked, confused at the changed topic. 

“Where Dust is,” Killer clarified for him. “I’m sick of this place,” 

Dream paused. Then, his expression brightened with a grin like a sunrise, though what that was for, Killer hadn't a clue.

“Yes!” Dream exclaimed. “I mean– of course I can,”

And in barely a few minutes, they were in Dust’s Underfell with Dream knocking at the door. Killer mimed rolling his eyes.

It was some time late in the afternoon. There was the sound of several locks being undone, and then the door opening. 

Red regarded them with a flat look. 

“What,” he asked. 

“Hello!” Dream greeted. 

“Hi?” 

“Here for Dust,” Killer cut in, directly to the point. 

“Right,” Red turned to the inside of the house. “EY DUST BUNNY! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!” he yelled. Killer snorted. 

Dust appeared in the space next to him, a hand on Red’s shoulder. Already prepared with a glower, but it eased up when he saw them. Probably because of Dream’s presence. 

...Except he pushed Dream away. And stepped toward Killer. And put an arm around his shoulders, punching him in the sternum with no harmful intent behind the action. You could even call it friendly. 

“Finally decided to stop sulking?” he teased.

...What. 

Since when was Dust so damn touchy? Since when was he... what, affectionate? What the hell did this place do to him? Wasn't this Universe supposed to be, you know, rough around the edges or something? Violent? What? 

“I don't sulk,” Killer shoved him in return. 

“Sure, and I've never killed a soul,” Dust rolled his eyes, amused, though he did let go. “Seriously though. It's nice to see you here,” 

...What? 

This was like that ‘you're my friend’ bullshit that Dust pulled. 

Dream was beaming at the two of them. Killer stepped on his foot harshly, making him yelp and stumble away. 

Dust whacked him upside the head for it. Killer elbowed him in the ribs.

“Fuckin’ Christ,” Red muttered, dragging a hand down his face. Turning around leaving them to it like he wasn't associated. 

“You’re as much of a freak as ever,” Killer replied to Dust’s comment at last. 

“And you're as much of a jackass as ever,” Dust replied, not offended even in the slightest, just grinning in amusement. Damn him. “Thanks for bringing him,” he turned to Dream. 

“Of course! Anytime.” Dream nodded, smiling still. “Will you be staying here, Killer?” 

“Sure,” Killer shoved his hands back in his pockets, “Beats being bored.” 

“I support your decision entirely,” Dream stated, and Killer narrowed his eyes, considering stabbing him. “In that case, Dust, you should expect to see us around occasionally, if that's okay?” 

“Sure,” Dust shrugged. “Just don't forget to knock,” 

“Of course,” Dream nodded. “Well, I’ll leave you two to it!” he waved at them with a smile, and in a flash he was gone.

“Come on,” Dust shoved Killer inside. “I wanna see you try Edge’s cooking,” 

“Not worried I’ll dust him on the spot?” Killer teased. 

“Good luck trying,” Dust immediately countered, closing the door behind them and redoing the locks. “If you're going to be an asshole I’ll just kick you out and back to your depression hole. Have fun being bored out of your mind,” 

Good point. Currently it would be more interesting to have people around. When they got boring, Killer would resolve to pain and murder, but he had no reason to waste resources right now.

—

The ‘fell brothers got him a mattress in Dust’s room. That’s where Killer spent of his time really. Just used to it. 

Except when Dust kicked him out of bed to do random shit. Like cleaning the house. Or watching television. Some of it boring, some of it a little less boring. 

At least there were things to do. Even if they kind of made Killer itch for violence. So far, the only decoration to his side of the room was grooves in the wall where he threw his knives in boredom. 

...And that stupid nesting doll from Dream. 

Well. Killer wasn't going to complain (that's a lie, he complained a lot) — at least it wasn't the emptiness. 

...In the dark of night, sometimes Dust couldn't sleep. Sometimes Killer was awake as well, restless with a craving for something to fill the void. And they... chatted. Like they did before, when they were both still with Nightmare. 

It was... 

...nice.

—

When Killer’s name was yelled from the living room, he already expected it to be Night or Dream. 

“Hello,” Night greeted passively. 

“Should've closed the door on his face, maybe a broken nose would make the sight nicer,” Killer commented and Red snorted.

“Hell no, I’m not getting involved with y’all,” Red didn't waste a moment to leave. Fair enough. 

“Test number one,” Night mentioned, lifting... a folded chess board? 

“All you'll succeed with that is boring me to death,” Killer pointed out, striding over to drag him inside because the idiot still hadn't entered. What, was he going to play chess from the doorway? 

Close the door, lock all those stupid locks because apparently this was just how Underfell is. 

“Well. Give it a chance,” Night reasoned. 

“Whatever,” Killer walked over, flopping on the ratty couch. Might as well indulge him so he leaves quicker. If Night wanted to sabotage his own stance by intentionally boring Killer, well, that was his business. 

There was no chair across the low table. Killer watched as Night, hesitantly, sat on the couch too. As far away from Killer as he could. Killer snorted. 

Night opened up the board and started quickly setting up the chess.

“You are familiar with the rules,” Night stated. It wasn't a question because he already knew the answer — Corrupted Nightmare had played with him once. 

“Nope,” Killer said, just to be annoying. “Never even heard of it,”

Night had the audacity to roll his eyes. He even looked amused. Where did all that guilt and hesitation go, huh? 

“You take white,” Night said before Killer could instigate his suffering. 

Killer sighed, and played some classic first move. 

He already knew how this match would go. It was obvious — chess was one of Night’s favorite things, the nerd, and he’s had decades to get good at it. Killer wasn't an idiot if he could say so himself, but chess? It never really caught his fancy in particular. He wasn't much of a strategist. 

They weren't even talking. Just sitting in silence, moving some wooden pieces around a checkered pattern. It was nothing.

Time ticking forth. The quiet sound of the pieces hitting the board.

As Night started snatching his pieces off, it was only being confirmed who’d win. And it wasn't even taking long. 

“...You’re not actually putting effort in, are you,” Night finally caught on. 

“I told you,” Killer sighed, lounging on the couch without much care, “it’s boring. And you’ll win anyway. What's the point?” 

“That’s unfair,” Night huffed, “You agreed to play fair. That was the deal.”

Killer groaned, letting his head flop back. 

“It’s stupid,” he growled. “This is a waste of time. I agreed to your damn bet, not to play pointless games,” 

“Yes,” Night reasoned, “and this is part of the bet.” 

“No, this is you being an annoying asshole,” Killer said cheerfully. “Haven't you learned? No one actually wants you around. At least when you were a mean asshole, you were an asshole with a personality.”

With how he was leaning back, Killer couldn't see the other’s face. But he didn't need to. The pause that followed made the hurt audible. 

Night quietly breathed in. Breathed out. 

“...You’re frustrated,” he stated.

Killer mimed rolling his eyes. “Fantastic counterargument, totally defeated my point,” he returned sarcastically. 

“No,” Night corrected, “you're frustrated. I know that because I can still sense the emotions of others. When you get bored, you get frustrated. That's an emotion.” 

Silence. 

“What a delightful existence,” Killer spoke slowly. Cold and venomous. Pushing himself to sit up so he could stare at Night. “Being able to feel either emptiness or frustration.” 

“But it’s a feeling,”  

“It’s torture.” Killer growled. 

“But it's a feeling,” Night insisted, and in a blink Killer threw a knife at him. 

Night yelped, but barely managed to dodge to the side. As if Killer could put a dent in his HP that mattered. 

“And when you’re bored, you want to do something!” Night continued, even as Killer got to his feet. “That’s a feeling too!” Night also scrambled to his feet to avoid the next stab, the blade sinking into the couch instead. 

“I’ll show you what’s a feeling,” Killer snarled, grinning. “Ever heard of pain?” 

But before he could throw the next readied attack, there was a ping! 

His soul was grabbed and he was slammed back into the wall. Not enough to be a killing blow, barely chipped anything from his HP. 

“Don't put holes in my couch,” came Dust’s flat voice from the stairs. “Do you know how hard it is to get furniture around here?” 

Killer breathed harshly, still glaring at Night. He dissipated his conjured knife, huffing. Whatever. 

Night was wrong. This yawning chasm inside him wasn't an emotion. It was a feeling the way hunger was a feeling. It was a desperation, a self-preservation instinct from the brain’s desire to not self-destruct. It was cold. 

“My apologies,” Night’s gaze had moved to Dust, a little wide eyed. “Dust– I–” 

“Yeah yeah, you already delivered your sorry’s,” Dust waved a hand dismissively. “Look, man, it’s not like you ever hurt me in particular,” 

Night’s eyes, perhaps unintentionally, flicked to Killer before returning to Dust. “But I intentionally kept you in the worst possible mental state you could–” he rushed out.

“Yeah, and I left,” Dust shrugged. “And you're not that guy anymore, right?” 

“Unfortunately,” Killer chimed in. “You gonna release me now?” 

“Are you going to damage more of my property?” Dust fired back. 

“I’ll damage your face.” 

“Oh you want me matching your ugly, Tar-Eyes?” 

Killer barked a laugh. “Damn you! I’m prettier than you could ever be,” 

“My boyfriend would beg to differ,” 

“Boyfriend?” Killer raised his brow ridges. 

Dust cleared his throat, glancing away. Killer started laughing. Oh now this was news, how interesting. 

Throughout their interaction, Night’s gaze had flicked back and forth between the two of them. Observing them with something pinched in his expression. 

“Game over, Nighty,” Killer stated as his soul was finally released from the directed gravity. “Pack it up,” 

“...But we didn't complete it,” Night pointed out. 

“And we aren't going to, because quite frankly? I cannot be bothered,” Killer nodded generously. 

“Better listen before he starts dishing it out again,” Dust chimed in, amused. “Trust me, he ain't scared to take it,” 

“Oh like you’d know, you can barely leave a scratch on me,” Killer taunted. 

“It barely takes more than a scratch for you to crumble,” Dust fired back easily.

“Wanna test that hypothesis?” Killer growled, grinning. 

“Yeah, let me go put my egg-handling gloves,” 

There was a quiet snort, and Killer looked over to see Night covering his mouth. Killer could still tell he was smiling, though god knows why.

“I’ll uh, leave you two be,” Night cleared his throat, back to awkward. Swiftly gathering up the chess pieces and folding the board.

—

It’s clear the ‘fell brothers aren't exactly keen on your company, but they tolerate you. Perhaps they even mildly respect you, if only out of fear.

...Dust... interacts so easily with them. It’s clear he cares about them, and that they care about him. 

(He’s been carrying himself so much more easily ever since he left Corrupted Nightmare’s whole operation. 

...Good for him.)

“Hey,” 

What’s more peculiar, weird even, is that Dust acts that way with you, too.

“You okay?” he asks, even though you've done nothing but lay in bed all day. Staring at the ceiling. Getting lost in the passage of time. The damn passage of time. 

“Couldn't be better,” you reply with a flat look, grinning. It is the truth.

Dust rolls his eyes. 

“Move over,” 

“Oho, baby want cuddles like the good ol’ times?” 

“Move over or I'll move you myself,”

“You know what they say, don't threaten me with a good time,” you tease and prod. Always pushing buttons. Always looking for a reaction. For something to fill the emptiness.

Sadly there’s no longer a Corrupted Nightmare to rip you apart and make you feel tangible enough to be ripped part. 

All Dust does is shove you to the side with a foot. You can't be bothered to protest. He flops down beside you, easy and comfortable. He isn't scared of you. He doesn't cower and cry like some frail minnow. It's what you respect about him.

“Found some books about ancient human philosophy recently,” Dust mentions. 

“Uh-huh,” 

“It's pretty interesting. Most of them say incredibly obvious things, just in a fancy way,” 

You both chuckle. 

“A lot of them are from this place called ‘Ancient Greece’ and stuff, a lot of what I’m pretty sure are the classics...” 

Aaand so Dust starts telling you about some ancient humans with different sorts of beliefs. How different schools of thought or sciences developed from their statements. 

It's... it's whatever. It's pretty boring really. Philosophy isn't your thing. Mostly because nothing is your thing. Nothing interests you. 

...But... 

The time doesn't pass as slowly, when it’s being used for something. The silence isn't as suffocating, broken by Dust’s... company. 

So. 

It's not that bad.

(...It’s nice.

...

...maybe you missed this.)

—

“Nothing? Really? You didn’t feel anything?” Dream was frowning at him where he sat across their impromptu beach blanket thing. 

“Nope!” Killer affirmed cheerfully. 

“Did– did you really have that bad of a time?” Dream’s frown was tinged with some sadness. 

Killer shrugged. “Not particularly, no. It was mostly just...” he flicked more sand off his arm, “...boring,” 

Dream’s idea was to take him for a ‘beach day’ for a couple of hours. His hypothesis being that if Killer was relaxed and in a very pleasant space, he’d feel... ugh, “safer and more comfortable” to... “express his emotions”.

It failed. Sure, the sun against his bones was pleasant sensation-wise, and so was the sound of the waves close by, but that was about it. The most Killer got out of it was relentlessly teasing Dream for “taking him out on a date”, trying to get a reaction from him. Dream was annoyingly composed and used to his bullshit. Killer ended up trying to manually catch fish by stabbing them with his knife. 

It lasted a few short hours. The sun was still high and bright. Killer’s jacket was off. They were basically having a beach picnic right now, how romantic! 

“Right,” Dream sighed, face in his hand. He always looked exhausted. He couldn't hide it even from Killer. It got better as the Stars slowly chipped at Corrupted Nightmare’s defenses, getting Dust and Horror to turn over a new page; and it got a lot better as Corrupted Nightmare was un-corrupted; but still. Killer assumed there was a lot of damage control to be done, even with the help of Night. 

That’s the prize you get for living like that. Dream does this to himself, in Killer’s humble opinion. 

“Well, thank you for giving it a shot,” Dream re-composed himself. Still trying to look on the bright side. Jeez, Killer was getting tired just looking at him, hah. 

He shrugged in response. “Just a waste of my time. Nothing new.” 

Dream studied his expression. Probably trying to figure out where he went wrong. Killer would advise him to look somewhere much farther, more along the lines of the distant past, such as: the moment he was born. Were these ‘guardians’ born...?

“...Aside from that,” Dream picked up conversation yet again. Maybe this was just an excuse for him to have a break. “How have you been?” 

Killer blinked slowly at him. 

“You know, the usual,” he leaned back on his hands, “Killing parents, torturing their children, that sort of thing,” he counted off casually. Even if he’d actually done nothing of the sort. He’s mostly been chilling with Dust. And when the itch to cause harm got stronger, when his soul began going crazy, Dust usually indulged him with a fight. It wasn't ideal, but it was keeping him more or less on his feet. 

There was a quirk to Dream’s expression that almost looked like amusement. 

“Right,” he nodded. “I... guess you want me to return you to your... fun activities?” 

Killer sighed, leaning further until he laid his back on the blanket thing. Watching the bright blue sky and the even brighter sun above. 

“...Eh,” he shrugged. “I’m not in a rush,” 

Dream chuckled. 

It seemed he was content to remain in... peace-adjacent silence. Listening to the timid waves sloshing against the shore, just a few paces away from them. 

As calm as it was, however, the minutes ticked on. Eventually, they started to grate on Killer. Silence was boring. 

“Why are you trying so hard to ‘help me’?” he brought up, since Dream had never properly answered. “You are aware I’m one of the worst people just in general. And I’m not “corrupted” like your brother.” 

“I’m aware,” Dream confirmed. “But, well, the whole idea of ‘I believe anyone can change and be good’ wouldn’t hold much weight if I didn’t believe anyone can change and be good, if they tried,” he pointed out. Killer could respect his integrity. 

“But that’s not really where the catch is,” Killer pointed out. He was pretty sure they’ve had this conversation before. “The catch is in the last part. Whether they want to. Whether they try,” 

Of course anyone had the potential to be just about anything. Willpower is one hell of a force. But pure potential wasn't the matter. That demonic god that destroyed his world over and over until they finally got to him could choose, at any time, to not do that. They had that power more than anyone. 

But they didn't. They made those choices. And so did Killer. 

“...Do you want to be evil, Killer?” Dream asked calmly, after their brief pause. When Killer turned his head to look at him, Dream was watching the waves with a tired expression. 

Killer scratched his skull. He shrugged. “It can be fun,” 

“Yeah,” Dream nodded, and Killer blinked. “That’s the thing. You don’t want to be evil for the sake of being evil, do you?” 

...Hm. Interesting that he thought so. 

“And I think,” Dream reasoned, “like Night also thinks, that if we figure out the core reasoning behind your actions, we can find what you really want. And we can work with you. And we can help you,” 

Fun theory. 

“That didn’t answer my question however,” Killer nudged the topic aside with a foot. “Why do you want to help me that bad?”

Dream huffed a soft laugh. “It’s what I do,”

“Oh please,” Killer scoffed, “Don’t give me that cop-out,”

“...Why do you want to know?” 

“I’m bored, sunshine,” as if it was anything new. 

Dream glanced at him. Again, that slight quirk to his mouth, like he was amused or something. 

“...You’re curious,” he offered a correction. 

“Whatever makes you sleep at night,” Killer shrugged. Curious, sure, why not? People are freaking weird. Might as well try to figure them out. It’s one of the few varieties in life. Better mental stimulation than the sameness of everything else. 

“I...” Dream looked down at his hands. “Well, you can look at it mathematically if you want. There isn’t much worth to just... hating you forever, punishing you for your actions. That doesn’t get us anywhere. But if a bad person becomes good, to use simple terms... that’s an overall net gain, isn’t it?” 

...Huh. Much more pragmatic than Killer expected. He would’ve betted on something a lot sappier. 

“And everyone has a will,” Dream continued. “It’s not that you can choose to do good at any time, sometimes it’s a little more complicated, but when you remove any external factors forcing people’s decisions... I do think they can choose to do good. No matter what they’ve chosen in the past.” 

“But why not just kill me? There, that removes a bad person,” Killer pointed out. It’s the solution he’d always utilized. Simple and effective. 

Dream frowned a little. “...Did Corrupted Nightmare prefer killing?” he posed a leading question. 

And the truth was... no, not really. He wasn’t against it, obviously, especially when the death of one person could cause the grief of many. He rarely stopped Killer from indulging in it. But he got all prissy when the gang would do nothing but murder (even if it was literally their speciality). 

“Do you expect a corpse to feel bad?” Nightmare had snarled. 

“If we go down that route, ad absurdum, it would just be... endless destruction until nothing is left,” Dream answered. 

“Which wouldn’t exactly give you an increase in positivity,” Killer finished. He supposed it made sense, if he was trying to understand Dream’s point of view. 

“...I wouldn’t say it like that, my goal was never to make all of the Multiverse wholly positive, but... yes, sort of,” Dream nodded. 

“Really?” Killer glanced at him. “I thought that was the idea. Good and evil fighting to win, blah blah blah,” he waved a hand. 

“...No?” Dream blinked. “Although I suppose I understand the confusion. Many people think that.” he reasoned. “...It’s what got Night...” he muttered quietly, trailing off. His expression pinching with a concoction of emotions unfitting for his title. He shook it off quickly. “No, the idea had always been about balance. That’s why I fought against the Corrupted Nightmare. He wasn’t negativity as it should be, he was more. He was an overwhelmingly consuming force, tipping the balance towards his extreme,” 

“And you’re not doing that?” Killer asked. “You don’t want everyone to be happy, Dreamboy?” he teased. 

“No!” Dream exclaimed, to his surprise. “That’s not good for anyone. I want to help people, not– people have a natural range of emotions for a reason. Negative feelings are just as important — sadness is essential to processing grief, anger is what tells you to defend yourself or what you stand for–” he began ranting, in a way that was clearly repeated many times for many, many years.

“Besides you of course,” Killer interjected, and Dream stumbled over his words. 

“What?” he looked at Killer. 

“You’re not allowed to be sad, are you?” Killer pushed at those buttons, grinning. “Because it’s all about mathematics, right? People need the Guardian of Positivity to always be positive. And you serve the people.” 

Dream stared at him, mouth flat, brow ridges pinched. 

Killer chuckled. He was so good at striking a nerve.

“You’re a liar. So desperate to prove your stance true, you’ll tear yourself apart for it and not even let anyone see,” he continued, until Dream turned away, unable to look at him. “And you’re cruel, to claim everyone is right to feel bad, but then turn around and never do that yourself. What sort of example are you setting, sunshine?” Killer mocked. “You want me to accept and show my emotions? Where are yours?”

Dream stiffened.

He was a fool if he expected this evening to go any differently, really. This is what Killer did. He was made of hurt. His own, others’, it didn’t matter. He was fluent in all the dialects. 

And so they sat in silence. Dream likely didn’t have much more desire to talk to him after that, which was fair. Though the conversation was a degree of... enlightening. Killer had discovered nuances to Dream’s thinking he hadn’t expected.

He also expected this to be the end of it. 

...So he was reasonably surprised, when Dream spoke up, quiet but steady, 

“...Yeah. I guess you’re right,”

(...They stayed there for a little longer.)

[noodles-even-less-stable]

THE PARTNER IS MAKING A TUMBLR THIS ISN'T A DRILL!!! PLACES EVERYONE!!

So he doesn't know what name he wants and would like suggestions! He's awkward and doesn't know what to do and is nervous lol, but aren't we all. So I'm drop kicking him in head first!

He said he doesn't want something to do with noodle because he's a jack ass (affectionately)

So he likes Viking things, hunting, fishing, anything outdoors really. Big RuneScape and Dark Souls fan (probably has more hours in them than he does in our relationship /J)

Is my muse, my baby and my princess (he's going to hate I called him that)

SO please drop names and he said he'll pick the best one (because apparently to him this is a dictatorship not a democracy) (he probably will just make up his own after because he's like that)

[lightparty-fullparty]

Can't possibly be me Zenosposting again - what is this a day ending in Y?

Anyway, I've been thinking about the murder boy again. This has mostly spawned from my replaying of the Stormblood patches and seeing Amnesiac Yotsuyu, which sparked a bit of a Nature vs Nuture debate between me and my friends.

Basically, my question for this post is "How much of Zenos' whole deal is Nature (aka He was just born like that) and how much of it is Nuture (aka the enviornment he grew up). Some of you might content to say Nature and leave it at that, which is a completely valid outlook to have. But for me there's just one... teeny... tiny... little detail that has sent me on a wild consipriacy theory of a ride that's resulted in this post. Emet-FUCKING-Selch.

Listen to me, listen okay? I cannot, CANNOT ignore the fact that this absoulete motherfucker (affectionate) is Zenos's cannonical Great Grandfather. Who was very much alive and kicking during his childhood. Emet-Selch or Solus zos Galvus whatever moniker you wanna give the man, is an Ascian. One of THE Ascians. Not only that, he's 'The Architect" the guy who's job it is to design and engineer the calamities meant to rejoin the Shards of the World back together again. What does he do to achieve this? He builds empires, he starts wars, manipulates people and situations to result in untold elemental chaos. Iirc correctly he's responsible for causing all eight calamities that have occured so far in FFXIV. (Eight got undone but I'm still counting it).

Now for this post I'm going to be focusing mainly on the Seventh, Eighth, and Fourth Umbral Calamities. (Which are the ones coincidentally we're told the most about in game). This Calamities all involved Empires. The Allagan and the Garlean, both of which Emet-Selch was responsible for creating. From the Allagans we have the creation of Dalamud, Cyrus Tower, and the Ultima Weapon. As well as an extensive history of biological research. Cloning, Gene Splicing, Mutation and so on. (A sundered mortal's attempts at creation magjicks perhaps?) The Garleans too, have a notible history of biological research, they draw a lot of their modern technology from Allagan design. No coincidence there given Emet-Selch's involvement. But we've seen them use genetic mutation, cyber augmentation, and cloning (Emet-Selch's shadow the hedgehog ass clone bodies because he refuses to look like anyone other than his unsundered self). The also so a lot of research into the Echo. Hydalyn's mark for her champions, and soul maipulation. (Ala Mihgo Dungeon and In From the Cold Duty both points of note for examples of the Soul being manipulated here - physically torn out of the body).

"Now Gengar " - I hear you ask - "What does this have to do with Nature vs Nuture or Zenos?" Well, I tell you, everything really. Hear me out. Emet-Selch designed the Garlean Empire to be the perfect chaos causing conquest force. They have no ability to use either, making them initially vulnerable as a people to the rest of the races. Building up a tasty, tasty resentment and need to feel superior. He sent them marching to 'reclaim their home' and then to 'unify the three contents under their superior peaceful, organised leadership'. The 'Savage Races' summon evil primals and weild evil distructive magjiks. He gave them a perfect cause and reason to hate everyone else. He gave them magitech to level the field and make them supieror at combat. Garlemald as a nation is the perfect war machine. Allagan 2.0 if you would. And Zenos is the perfect 'Champion' to lead that nation into battle. To spark that next Calamity. Look at the guy. Garleans might be on the taller side (depending on the character. Cid is a shorty), but Varis and Zenos are HUGE. Emet-Selch isn't nearly as tall as either of them despite being a blood relation. Which makes me think there was some of that Allagan/Garlean/Ancient playing with genetics and form at work. Make them bigger, more durable, stronger, more intelligent.

It's like Captian America. You want the perfect solider. And a perfect solider for Emet-Selch would also need to be cold, ruthless, manipulative.

There was a post I saw a while again about Mecha Pilots. And OP pondered on the idea of physcially having your brain and body contiditoned to love battle. To love destruction and killing and fighting.

Do you see where I am going with this?

You want someone bloodthirsty enough to cause a Calamity for you, you need them to feel nothing for their fellow man. (Insects all of them. Disappointing. Found Wanting.) You need them to find such overwhelming joy in battle that no other earthely pleasure can compare to it. (Brilliant. Blinding. Trandsenant Moment.)

No attatchments. No emotions, Just violence. I offer to you dear readers, that Emet-Selch carefully modified Zenos' litterally brain chemistry. Making him predisposed to a lack of empathy and his brain releasing those pesky joyous chemicals during battle. Inflicitng and feeling pain. I offer the theory that Zenos has literally been built for combat. If you cut him open, his bones and muscles and organs would be so alienly perfect. Denser, perfectly optimised. Exceedingly perfect. His brain remapped for pattern recognistion and quick skill building, Easy to train in the art of slaughter and tactics. Unable to forge the emotional connections that would only serve to hinder him. (To isolate him from family).

What evidence to I have? Outside of Emet-Selch's known history of building Empires? Easy. I already know he's done this kind of thing before.

Vauthry. The baby Emet-Selch mutated into half a Lightwarden. Able to command the Sin Eaters and ensured would be raised into a tyranically, childish, king. To keep the First from Uniting. To ensure the Eighth Umbral Calamity would continue along it's march to completion.

Why wouldn't Emet-Selch have done as much to Zenos too?

[mettaloverxx]

Hii! I hope your not Busy, can i request Mettaton with a Darling that Doesnt talk to people much and is cold around other people? But is Very Affectionate Around him and Smiles only to him? :)) take ur time♡

Hi!! You sure can! I'm so sorry I'm so late. Finals are kicking my ass currently

Mettaton with a cold

s/o

Ok, so you know mettaton takes his s/o to lots of events and parties. I definitely see S/o being a little rude to one of the people who want to talk to them, the person would be upset but would brush it off because they already know how mettaton is when it comes to his s/o! He's 100% siding with them. "Oh,what darling? You're upset because my sweetheart walked away, mid conversation while talking to you?? Well, maybe it's because you're wearing those tacky ugly shoes. I'd walk away two dear~" Metta loves to be dramatic and sassy in front of people, and the crowd and his s/o cold and rude behavior definitely influence it.

But ohhhh, once him and his s/o are alone, and they start being so caring and sweet to him, like reminding him to charge or helping him wax and shine his body. Or the way they smile so brightly at him when cuddling, kissing, or doing something mundane together...makes his soul feel so light and warm, you're are such a treasure to have around and he's always going to remind you that. And he's going to take care and be doting to you just like you are to him 💖

-------------------------------------------

I hope this was ok! Have a great day/night ♡

[ninjamelissajulien]

Rewatching Crystalized after a long time- here are my thoughts.

The first third isn’t bad (season 1), honestly it’s still funny

Fugidove you weirdo (affectionate)

I still hate the mayor/the new ninja/ronin

Pythor you bitch (derogatory)

Nya my beloved, how they wasted your potential

Skylor my beloved, how they wasted your potential

Pixal my beloved, how they wasted your potential

Mechanic you motherfucker

HARUMI MY BELOVED CHILD YOUVE RETURNED TO ME

I hate how they changed the overlords voice, rebooted was the best version

I think the overlord intercepted harumi’s soul while it was on its way to the departed realm. Overlord can never truly die, so he’s stuck in an ethereal void. That’s why no one else was around

Harumi, my beloved scrimbly, your body was literally crushed and probably impaled by rebar and concrete

Oni temple still ugly as shit

“Fall of the monastery” is homophobic because my favorite girls got the shit kicked out of them and I’m gay so it’s homophobic

Also Pythor is misogynistic like bro Nya saved your ass from wohira

Also mechanic is misogynistic

Fantastic fights tho

MINI PIXES

I love the minipix 7 saved her mama first 🥹

We did not need the fakeout death for Nya

I love the samurai x mech and Nya’s Sam x outfit

I think they took off the overeffect on pixals voice in Darkness within - that just gave Crystalized extra bonus points in my book

Lloyd dangling sideways is so stupid but funny

Ok but like that wasn’t the last time you fought, technically that was the SECOND to last time shitlord, Zane killed you last time lmao

The coming 👀 of the king

But they didn’t lose??? They killed you???

Golden master was better tbh

Ah, the ugliest fortress in the entire series

Uglyass motherfucker

Harumi my scrimbly

Harumi really be like I hate you but maybe we could be friends but also no I despise you but maybe???

ACAB

Harumis such a brat- I love her so much

GARMADON RETURNS

Garmadon is the funniest motherfucker

The fact that they didn’t get to fully acknowledge Harumi and Garmadon is a missed opportunity

Christofern is an innocent victim

Mechanic motherfucker I want you to die

I forgot about Zane’s head trauma reverting him to the ice emperor. Such a missed opportunity

MISAKO MY BELOVED!!!!!

T*mmy fuck off

Pixal being a badass like usual. Queen!!!!

They put her effect back over her voice

JESUS CHRIST ZANE

ronin redeeming himself 🫡

Pythor you annoying bitch

SKYLOR YOU ARE A QUEEN I’d let you punch me any day

When skylor put her hand on Cole’s head, his scar was glowing

Skylor god I love you

Kai you got trauma we need to discuss

RACER 7 aka BLAZY H. SPEED!!!!!

I would burn everything for Pixal

Jennifer you say the word and I would kill for you

THE PIXANE SPIN

“You brought me back.”

Pixal has the coolest mechs because she deserves it

Garmadon sprint past, screeching, with a barrel is my favorite

“Uh oh? What does uh oh mean?” A callback to season 13 💙

“Pet plant” Lloyd that’s your brother have some respect

I’m gonna be honest- I forgot the overlord was the literal threat this season 😭😭😭

Why do the dragonites have tits????

I literally still can’t believe they have to “jump up kick back whip around and spin”

And the reveal was when the paper was “fold” ed you motherfuckers

Why did the coolest form of the overlord come TWO EPISODES AT THE END

Coles crew showed up

VANIA MY BELOVED SCRIMBLY

MINIPIX

MAYA EDNA BENTHO LOU (💔)

SALLY YOU QUEER QUEEN

Dragon form is literally so dope tho

I’m still not a fan of the “plot twist” with the overlord x devourer

Anyways KICK HIS ASS HARUMI GO BABY GIRL GO

Mechanic shut the fuck up honestly

OKINO

Cole mocking Vangelis is so fucking funny

It hurts to see Lou honesty knowing he’ll never speak again

ADAM

VANIA MY BELOVED

Is it me or is Kai really handsome in his dragon form

Cole and Vania’s hug 🥹

PIXANE SPIN 2.0

Oni Lloyd my beloved

ROTSM 2: Electric Boogaloo

I like to think that it is the ninjas spirits that protected Lloyd and defeated the overlord, not a golden power

Inner Steel is a good song shut up

Overall honestly not a bad season, has some hiccups and missed opportunities but not as bad as I think it’s judged

[sigridhawke]

🌹🌾🌺🌼💫 tell me more about those crimson ocs!

Absolutely!

Since you mentioned ‘those OCs’ lmao I will answer these with the group shared last night which was Rune, Odin, Thane, and Felix! This is also going to get really long so I’ll do the first question then the rest under the cut.

🌹 Where in the world does your OC feel most at home? Is there any reason why? If it’s not the place they were born, where were they born? Is there a certain somebody that makes them feel at home where ever they may be? What does home mean to them?

Rune:

Rune feels most at home in his actual village home. He’s traveled the world before, didn’t really like it. At home he can sit on the edges of the village or in the mountain ranges leading up to it catching travelers as they come by an intentionally make their lives worse through riddles just cause he can. It’s what sparks joy for him and somehow hasn’t landed him on the side of misfortune yet. Home is the place where he can be himself without consequence.

Odin:

Odin was originally from across the seas before the cataclysms, home ended up becoming the place he built and the culture he crafted. He was the initiator of dragons making an ancient pact with nagas which lead to all dragons having essentially an ‘assigned naga.’ So being in his element makes him feel most at home/most useful. After he lost his soul whoever, things got a little complicated, but he did get it back and the man who initially planned to fight him to the death ended up saving him/he fell in love with him. While their relationship is complex, home is his territory/lair, Vespera, and his partner Thane.

Thane:

Home is a place Thane has to relearn/rediscover ever 30 years. He has the misfortune of being caught in a timeloop as a consequence of the magic used to retrieve Odin’s soul. No matter how long of those 30 years it takes tho, home (9 times out of 10) ends up being where Odin is.

Felix:

Home is and always will be Lunaria Kingdom and wherever his dear older sister is.  Born and raised in the kingdom, no matter how far he goes, Lunaria will always be home.

Rest of the questions under the cut!

[Send me Soft OC Asks] [Crimson Tag]

🌾 Describe your OC through the eyes of someone absolutely head-over-heels in love with them

These will be memes I will not apologise haha.

Rune:

He’s an insufferable bastard. But he’s my insufferable bastard (affectionate)

Odin:

No matter how many times I forget, no matter how much it pains him, he is always so patient and ready to accept whatever I make of our relationship, be it romantic or not. (Thane)

Thane:

I love a man who can kick my ass (lmfao)

Felix:

(Imagine how one would fondly describe their favourite fire emblem character, probably something like that)

🌺What does your OC do to calm down when they’re scared or after a nightmare? Do they have any special comfort items or need to be reassured by a specific person? How do they handle this if they’re alone?

Rune:

Not much scares Rune, he’s one of those idiots that would probably put his hand on a stove element out of curiosity and go ‘damn that was a bad idea.’ He does not fear dying for the foxfolk can’t die by normal means. If however he met the old god that broke out of his village’s mountain, then he would probably feel very vulnerable wondering if he might actually die.

Odin:

Odin, like all dragons, does not dream. Not because he can’t but because the dreamscape is a no go zone for dragons who don’t want to lose their soul to the god that roams there. His fear often extends to Thane and his people and their safety. He’s very adamant on trying to talk problems out to avoid escalation.  Perhaps his biggest fear is that the curse attached to himself and Thane cannot be broken, or what will happen to Thane if the curse is broken seeing as Thane is only human.

Thane:

When scared he will feek comfort in Muse (talking to the creature and/or hugging/patting it like one would a beloved pet) or hide away in Odin’s library. He has been keeping journals of his past ‘lives/cycles’ and if something terrifies him, his first point is often to look for comfort/answers in his past or seek out Odin.

Felix:

When scared Felix will seek out his sister. It’s not a common occurrence but in those moments he has doubts or fear, nothing is more reassuring to him than her words (and her baking). He’s also partial to sitting on rooftops and looking at the stars and moons to try and clear his mind.

🌼 Who are this characters friends and found family? How did they meet, how long have they been friends for, could they ever be something more than just friends? What do they look for in a friend or a romantic partner?

Rune:

Rune’s friends are anyone he decides is his friend in the moment, but also all the young fox spirits who appreciate his chaotic tendencies. He has not partner and no intention to find one, he is just out to live his best life until the Queen tells him to stop. For all his chaos he has a lot of respect for his village.

Odin:

Odin and Thane have an enemies to friends to lovers but stuck in a timeloop vibe going for them. Friends tho, Odin doesn’t have too many as he tends to outlive them all and so keeps many at arms length. He does come to treasure his time with Princess Natasha of Lunaria after learning she has magic that did not exist in his time/when the curse began and in later story to he has greater appreciation for her and makes an effort to travel across the sea to see her.

Thane:

Thane’s friend group changes every cycle, while he’s a little more reserved he’s also open to interaction and his circumstances are pretty widely known throughout the kingdom even if there is rumours and misconceptions on what actually happens. A constant in every cycles is Odin and his summon Muse who has not returned to the dreamscape ever since the curse began. There is a familiarity that always brings him back.

Felix:

Most of Felix’s friends are other members of the guard, while he’s captain there are two other guards Phyllis and Sawne, who have all climbed the ranks around the same time as himself. He has a soft place in his heart for Princess Natasha too as he was often employed to help find the Princess when she wanted to play games or avoid her studies. He sees her in part as a little sister.

💫 What is your favourite fact about this character and why?

Rune:

The horns are fake and he wears them just cause they look cool lmao. In his original story they were real and moving him over to this story it just felt wrong to take they away so now he’s just one of the foxfolk who wears a horn headband cause he can lmao. He’s an earth spirit/elemental but he acts like he’s an elemental of the stars and that’s also fun since he’s embodying the ‘I will cause chos on purpose’ vibe.

Odin:

He was originally designed by my beloved friend as part of a ‘create the most catering OC for your friend’ challenge and I absolutely fell in love with him. As such he holds a very fond place in my heart.

Thane:

When I decided he was going to be a summoner I had the big brain idea to make his main/only summon my art muse and honestly that was the best idea ever because I love my muse so much and it’s fun to actually have the big cat in a story.

Felix:

 He is a very old OC so I have a soft spot for him. He’s been through three or four iterations? Stories I never ended up finishing but throughout them all he’s always had the one arm, idk why I had that design choice initially but I really love that about him. Him how being captain of the guard and a reoccurring character in the story there is a strange sense of pride I think? Highschool me had him so emo looking and now he’s living his best life and I love that for him.

[firefaerie81]

Fae Watches Thundercats 2011

(adapted from my twitter thread because twitter is dying, bear with me while I feel out the formatting)

Hi!  I recently revisited Thundercats 2011, and got super into it!  So, I'm gonna go through it again and livetweet it this time, going into probably way too much detail about my thoughts.  So if that's something you're interested in, you can follow along live on twitter as long as twitter is still there, but also the tumblr edition will be tagged #fae watches thundercats!

My current plan is to watch one episode a week on Tuesday nights, adding to my twitter thread as I go, and then compiling and adapting each episode's commentary into larger posts on here after the fact. We'll see how that works out.

Before we start, full disclosure: I rewatched 2011 because I started watching some of the 80s show with friends.  To be frank, 2011 is the version I really like while 80s is mostly a curiosity, so that's the perspective I'm coming from in the rare times I'll compare the two.

And it will be rare.  I'm not here to compare anything, I'm here to gush about a show I like as its own thing.  But there will be a handful of occasions in the next 26 weeks where I'll have something interesting to say about the different versions.

It's also a real shame that the 2011 version doesn't have a proper opening sequence, so I'll just supply this fan-edited one set to the 80s theme with Will Friedle's "Thundercats, ho!" spliced in. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDfbLnWGl70

Alternatively, here's one I edited myself set to the Mew Mew Power theme song.  I made it kind of as a joke, but ended up really liking how it turned out. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj3xmHRQkdc

Anyway, without further ado, let's dive into episode one: Omens, Part One

Oh boy, this description's gonna be real funny in a bit.

This one, though, is perfect setup.

For you see, there is...

A PROPHECY

*guitar riff*

Dear, the cloak-as-disguise look works best at night, when you can blend in.

Poor Snarf has anxiety.

Rescuing someone from a bully is a classic establishing character moment for a hero, and for good reason. What our main character says here is a perfect establishing line for him because to me, this compassion is the core of his character. There's, uh, some ups and downs later on, but I'll make my case as we go.

And of course, as soon as he gets their attention, they leave the other poor soul alone. And he can kick their asses. Action scenes are hard to screencap, so I skim over a lot of them, but if there is something interesting that happens I will talk about it.

It's good to have a sturdy team mascot around.

It's also good to have someone who followed you out of the palace backing you up.

You cocky dweeb (affectionate)

(And here's where I hit the 30 image limit. I thought I'd be able to do this all in one post, like a fool. NEXT POST!)

[chuulyssa]

──── ★ baby im jealous with the squid game men ────

teaser they don’t like seeing you with someone else !

starring inho, gihun, the recruiter, sangwoo, junho, daeho, thanos x gn!reader genre fluff, some crack a/n requests open btw

inho / youngil / the frontman

needy old kitten i said what i said

guard accidentally touching you? fired. player talking to you? eliminated. vip getting a little too friendly? kicked escorted out of the event

the way you can literally hear him grumbling yapping behind that mask 😭✋🏻

“they’re clearly here for you and not the games”

if you’re his assistant he’ll start scheduling pointless meetings just to get you to spend some more time with him.

“the inventory report needs review”

“inho we reviewed it yesterday”

“we’ll double check it then”

rants on the pa system literally barking at guards to get that vip to gtfo from your range

if you’re a player with him… yea that guy who just complimented your running skills after the first game never spoke to you after that ever again

crazy part is he doesn’t even do much

just silently staring into the soul of the person who’s trying to chat you up

“oh don’t mind me. continue.”

spoiler alert: they don’t continue.

he’ll feel guilty for feeling this way, you’re your own person, you shouldn’t be having to deal with his possessiveness !

so he gets you your fav snack or your shopping cart items WE LOVE A THOUGHUTFL MAN

gihun

my little wet rat

he’s so obviously sulking around you, pouting and shit like a highschooler ong

he’ll try to “subtly” get between you and whoever’s stealing your attention

“oh hey !! :D didn’t see you there. so what’re we talking about again?”

when you continue to speak to the other person, he’ll get overly affectionate out of nowhere

when the other person leaves, he’ll start making absurd lies up about the other person

“you know they eat cereal with water right?”

“gihun please stop”

“what? im just saying—”

but can you blame him? he’s just hoping you’ll notice and reassure him !

if you don’t, he’ll eventually mumble something like “you like them more than me?”

he’ll feel genuinely insecure at times, and even though he’ll try to play it cool he’ll end up blurting out “you’re not going anywhere right? like leaving me?”

when you laugh it off and tell him there’s no competition, he gets all bashful and apologizes profusely

but he still grins like a dork

the recruiter / salesman

100% challenges them to ddakji

you try to stop the other person from agreeing but they’re like meh whats the worst that can happen

slap slap chop chop 🤚🏻

then he starts shamelessly flirting in front of the other person if they still havent left that is

“have i told you today just how gorgeous you look? no wonder people can’t keep their eyes off you”

he’s so disrespectful 🙂‍↔

“you’re not thinking of trading me for a lesser offer are you?”

spoiler alert: you can’t

when you bring this incident up again he’ll laugh and kiss your knuckles

“some games i refuse to lose. you’re one of them”

sangwoo

this bitch

he wants to act high and mighty and prove to you that he’s better, smarter and 10000x hotter than the person you’re talking to

“oh really? that’s your opinion? it’s statistically inaccurate”

nerd ass; he’s literally acting like that one emoji 🤓☝🏻

he’s so disrespectful too LMFAOO interrupting your convos like he’s so bored

“can we move on?” he’ll roll his eyes “some of us have actual work to do”

 he hates bringing up his snu education but he’s gotta show you he’s better somehow he’ll do gihun’s work then

his jealousy is more subtle tho

he’ll make excuses to pull you away, like asking for your opinion on some renoir painting bro

he’ll get snappy or short with you if he starts feeling insecure

when you tell him to cut that shit out he apologizes

you hold hands in public for the next 3 hours

junho / detective

for someone who’s a detective you’d have thought he’d have mastered his body language and shit

but he’s absolutely terrible at hiding his jealousy

sulking in a corner, arms crossed, head down

if you call him to introduce himself to the other person he’ll look at you with this dramatic ass look

someone would think you just asked for his kidney (lol)

literally scowling at the other person

“oh you know them?” he wont spare a glance at the other person and turn to you to begin his rant “how long have you known them? what’s their star sign? are they blind? do they have any idea how horrible their haircut is?”

he’ll be around you, fixing your coat buttons and constantly touching you

not to show that you’re his (well kinda but not entirely) but more as if to find comfort in you

daeho

ok now hear me out on this one

daeho doesn’t mean to scare people away, but just the loss of his bunny smile scares people

like imagine seeing a cute ass man suddenly stop grinning? that’s scary ok?

he doesn’t really know what to do so he’s just standing there like 🧍🏻‍♂️

he’s not gonna leave you though, and you’re gonna have to assure him you’re not gonna leave him either

he’ll pat pat your hand and if you grasp his, he’s gonna look at the other person triumphantly

as if screeching I WIN BITCH

if they continue to annoy him though, a few minutes later they’re gonna realize they suddenly lost their wallet or phone

damn i wonder where it went

and you’re just looking at him as if telling him to behave 

when you confront him about his jealousy he’s gonna deny it repeatedly 

he acts so tough grumbling “i dont care”

but you see the way he cuddles with you the whole night

no breathing space for you at all

but you don’t mind

thanos

raps. i won’t have it any other way.

this man, whenever he feels a teensy bit of emotion he begins rapping out of nowhere about it

“yo step back ay you lame as fuck can’t see? they’re with me, we not free, yea i am the mvp”

it’s terrible. awful. 

you freeze, quite literally, out of the second hand embarrassment

in public too 😭 this man has no shame

loudly starts beatboxing when the other person asks who he is

“who’s that clown? u need a diss track on u now?”

get away from that person now before he starts singing dramatic love songs to you in the middle of walmart

poke pokes your cheek when they leave seeing how embarrassed he made you but again this man has no shame so why are we even here atp

“was worried you’d forget me” he sighs “but you didn’t, so im good now”

will write a cringe ass love song to you and rap it till you forgive him

i seriously cannot make this shit up

© chuulyssa 2025 - do not copy, plagiarize or repost my works on any platforms. do not translate.

[aiscapades]

touchstarved m5 as tgwdlm songs

more starkid x touchstarved !! npmd here

leander — what do you want, paul?, you tied up my heart

vere — not your seed, let it out

ais — cup of poisoned coffee, join us (and die)

mhin — the guy who didn't like musicals, inevitable

kuras — show stoppin' number, america is great again

brief explanations:

leander

what do you want, paul?: this song makes me think of leander & mc's first meeting, him asking why mc is in eridia, probing them for answers but keeping his own secrets safe. "so, what do you want, paul? / a man so vague can't be trusted." leander also wants to convince mc there's hope if they stick with him, just like how paul's boss is trying to get him on the hivemind's side. also the "i want you to choke me" part. i'm not going to further explain lol

you tied up my heart: once again, a song with sex stuff relating to leander ("you can tie me up if you want to") because of course. but even without that, this song has leander written all over it. your half-dead, shitty boyfriend manipulating you into freeing him? that's him alright! "i'm tied up / tied up with you / you understand me / now hand me those keys." there are also some lines that can read as leander dismissing all his escapades in an attempt to make you feel special. "all the booze and harlots / they didn't count / they couldn't break me / you're the one who caged me" + "will you ever forgive me? / i'll crawl on my hands and knees." we know you will, leander. whore.

vere

not your seed: this song makes me think of vere for very particular reasons. firstly, it's a song of rebellion. "it's not my fault anymore / no more curfews to be late for" + "not your seed / i'm not your perfect teen." no, vere isn't literally a rebellious teenage girl, but maybe metaphorically.... okay listen. he certainly doesn't like his position with the senobium. their relationship is like a parent-child dynamic in an extra fucked up kinda way. that kind of "we own you" parenting some of us know all too well (me; i'm projecting). "you left me out of your sight for one second / and look what happens / nightmare time!" this is absolutely vere finally rebelling against the senobium; i can totally see him singing this as he corners his handler, intent on giving them what they deserve.

let it out: toying with, torturing someone and asking them to reveal their deepest desires is sooo vere. "what's in your soul? / is your heart so damp and bleak / that you won't give us a peak of your soul?" he likes to play with his food.

ais

cup of poisoned coffee: firstly, i know ais drinks tea, but i have this headcanon in the back of my brain that he also serves the seaspring's red water in teacups to people desperate for help. the seaspring tea/blue goo coffee parallel is a huge reason why i love this song for ais specifically. "get your cup of poisoned coffee, your toxic cup of joey / we'll make a twisted cup of java" the voices in ais's head totally sing this jingle way too often.

join us (and die): this is super obvious. whether you're drinking from the seaspring or the blue goo coffee, you will die and join the hivemind. you will no longer be an individual, merely one of many. "we tried to convince you with soliloquy / but now we'll kill you with more than harmony" this gives me "well, we tried to get you to drink by convincing you it'll cure your life-threatening illness/injury... but since that didn't work, guess we'll just have to use brute force!" like ocudeus!ais forcing mc to drink from the seaspring. "we're gonna kick your ass / then we're gonna / fucking kick your ass!" this line has ais written all over it lol. he's going to beat your ass man! my guy's gonna fight you!!!!

mhin

the guy who didn't like musicals: mhin could sub in for paul for this entire musical and it would still work. they're both matter-of-fact, grouchy, buzzkills (affectionate). "in the tiny town of hatchetfield / lived an awful grinch named paul / ... not singing and dancing with us all / should we kill him? should we kill him?" i imagine this is vere's train of thought when it comes to mhin, like "they're no fun. should i just kill them? :3c" next, the lines "the words will come to you / we swear we will teach you / what it means to love / what it means to obey" read to me like the senobium's power over eridia, and specifically over mhin if they become enslaved much like vere.

inevitable: all the ts love interests are capable of betraying mc, but i love thinking of the implications of mhin betraying mc. they are a monster like everyone else, but they are trying so hard to hold on to their humanity. giving in to their true self is the last thing they want to do, so mhin in particular is very interesting to think about in this lens. this song is the "after everything, after all your efforts to survive and save the world, to save the person you love, you have LOST" message that rounds up the musical. "what if i told you i made it / and this is the life that i chose? / would you even believe it?" this gives mhin's bad ending vibes!!! also the juxtaposition of these two songs for mhin (tgwdlm + inevitable) is just perfect. they are total opposites, and given mhin's very black-and-white thinking (monsters BAD!), i think it's extra fitting.

kuras

show stoppin' number: okay HEAR ME OUT. kuras as professor hidgens. this guy who has been waiting for the end times, planning for it. giving in to the apocalypse. using it to serve his own purpose. in a way, hidgens and kuras are similar in their guilt; hidgens has survivor's guilt (workin' boys) and kuras is repenting for whatever fucked-up humanity-wrecking shit he did once upon a time. only, kuras helps humans as a doctor, and hidgens... writes a very homoerotic musical. "a ditty to make the chorus girls swoon / it'll unify humanity in a thundering chorus" + "an aria to rule them all / the world will come crumblin' down" it's really giving biblical apocalypse. angel trumpets or whatever.

america is great again: much like show stoppin' number, this song makes me think of kuras being complicit in & enjoying the apocalypse, though instead of just going along with the ride, kuras is actively causing it. "there's only room for right and wrong / it's me or you or you or me" + "it's a charted course at the whim of our own evolution / singularity had through a pre-destined self-destruction / so that we may rebuild and experience a new construction" definitely gives god's great flood to rid the earth of sinners, only kuras is the god in this case.

bonus: la dee dah dah day this is all of us dancing n singing together <3

[radio-charlie]

"Yes."

Blongerdingfrit, affectionately nicknamed Blonger by his chums, stares at the person in front of him, absolutely dumbstruck. The warning signs had already been there, and it's real easy to say this in retrospect. Hindsight is 20/20, especially when magic has been keeping the blinkers on you for years.

"I... don't want to do that at all though. That's not who I am." Blonger runs clammy fingers through his hair, his eyes darting around the room. It doesn't look much like a cell, even though that was what they called the place before chucking him in here. There are some sigils on the wall, some furniture arranged in a rather unconventional manner. Besides that, it just looks like a nice hotel room. There's even a window that looks outside onto some greenery.

"I don't want to kill any of these people. You want to point me at them like some kind of human gun but these people have never done anything to me. That's just not who I am. What the hell do I owe you anyway? You never gave a crap about any of us, and now you want me to pawn my soul off so I can save your sorry ass? You can't ma-"

And then Blonger's arms sag, as do his shoulders. A strange calm permeates all hemispheres of his brain, floating him somewhere no pain and fear could ever find him. Strains of thought drift in and out like snatches of song. They're not ones he usually has - he's retained enough of himself to realise that. They're horrifying thoughts, actually. But there's nothing tangible, besides their outline, that distinguishes them from the soft pink cloud of comfort and warm that is swelling through his being. Things fit to be shoved under content warnings in history books tumble around, giggling, locked in a playful wrestle with thoughts about maybe getting some pizza later, about how cute the clouds in the sky were this morning.

"We absolutely can make you. If you resist, it hurts more. Why make the inevitable so pointlessly painful?" The person sitting across from Blonger isn't steepling their fingers, or smirking - none of the things textbook torturers do. They're just sitting there all professional-casual, like HR trying to ease a fresh graduate into their very first interview.

There are two mugs of steaming tea on the table. The one in front of Blonger is his favorite kind.

"I... I don't want -" Blonger has started drooling from the strain of holding onto whatever's left of him. He tries not to let his eyes roll upward - this small gesture is the one extra thing he can do to protect his dignity, and it looks comical, it would look comical to anyone who's not him, nobody else would understand. Little else of his exterior betrays the turmoil within, the maelstrom that is one human's naked spirit flailing with all its might against technology most of the world does not even know to exist.

"It will be so lonely if you keep going this way. We can do things you cannot even imagine. I mean, it's a wizard orb after all, and we're the wizards. The torture itself is just half the torture. You'll have to deal with everyone thinking you were just a monster all along." The handler leans forward a little, their smile non-committal. "If you join us today though, we can do some damage control. Whatever it is you do to these people -"

They wave a hand at photos of Chinese teenagers flying kites with their friends in a sunny park, Iranian families laughing together around beautiful heaps of slow-cooked rice and meat. And then photos of people from some little island country far out in the ocean - usually, Blonger would be ashamed to not recognise their nationality - sitting on the beach, mending fishing nets and kicking a football around.

"It won't matter to us. To us, you'll be a hero. We'll make everybody you kill for understand that you're a hero."

The warm pink cloud grows denser, warmer. Blonger now feels like most of himself has fallen asleep at the wheel. All that's left is a blissful yielding to something greater than anything he's ever known. A shrinking part of his consciousness tells him something. It sounds like it's screaming, but from far away.

It sounds like it's talking about God.

So, you are telling me that after kidnapping me with magic you expect me to become some psychopathic killer to save your country?

[catgrassplantdad]

omg the boys definitely consider themselves soulmates

oh they definitely do. like they don't really say that shit, they don't call each other their soulmate to other people or anything, but i think maybe sometimes they have these profound moments in their brains where it sort of hits them, and they're like, yeah. yeah our souls are entwined i think. wait i'm imagining a scenario.

they're sitting on the couch, ian's playing a video game and mickey's just watching for now, and he has his feet in ian's lap and it's just so comfortable and easy to be next to him and to spend such time with him. and it's something he often takes for granted, this comfort. but he looks to ian's face and he has this dorky look of intensity and concentration like whatever game he's playing is the most important thing that's ever happened, and mickey has one of those moments. just out of nowhere. it happens sometimes. there's this tightening in his chest and this fulfilling sense of contentment and this wave of pure, unadulterated love, and he thinks, "wow, we were always supposed to be here. no matter what happened, i was going to end up here, just like this, with him."

and ian senses him staring, so he glances over real quick and is like, "what?" before looking right back at what he's doing.

and mickey's like, "nothing." but then he changes his mind and has a moment of deciding to be soft and genuine, because he knows how much ian appreciates those bits of him, and fuck it, he's feeling sentimental. "this is nice, huh?"

"what, me getting my ass kicked? shit, fuck..."

"no, dumbass, pause the game. c'mon, just real quick."

he waits for ian to comply and turn his attention to him. he looks at him expectantly.

"i love you," mickey says simply.

ian huffs a laugh. "i love you, too, weirdo."

mickey nudges his toes into ian's stomach affectionately.

"this is what i meant. this is nice, you know?" he shrugs, going for nonchalance, feeling a little vulnerable. "we get to just hang out together. because we ended up together." after everything, they ended up together. after it felt for so long like they wouldn't, they did. but he leaves that part left unsaid.

he's not sure if that statement gets the depth of his thoughts across properly and completely, but ian certainly gets some of it, if the way his smile softens is any indication. dude looks like he's going to burst into tears.

"yeah, it's really nice. i like hanging out with you," ian says.

he holds the controller in one hand for a moment as he rubs mickey's legs. they look at each other, and mickey tries to communicate with his gaze what he meant, how deeply and strongly he feels about this, how powerful these little moments can randomly be for him sometimes. he tries to convey that he knows he's looking at his soulmate.

he thinks ian gets it. he's getting the same shit right back from him.

ian goes back to playing his game, mickey watches the screen with a smile, married as hell to his soulmate, and he feels more thankful than he ever has.

[kirascottage]

dating jj maybank

jj maybank x gender neutral. reader

word count: 1.8k

cw: headcanons, overall domestic fluff, angst if you squint till ur visions blurry, mentions of poor emotional expression, mentions of sex / sexual innuendos, mentions of fighting / injury, strong pda, kissing, consensual groping, swearing, soft!jj

okay so this is the first time i’ve ever written dating headcanons so i’m gonna try my best

• jj and expressing emotions are a very complicated duo and almost everyone knows it, including you. he knows how he feels for you, and feels it strongly, but the way it comes out of his mouth is like gibberish and completely not understandable. 

“so you know — like — i don’t know, man. i feel heavy for you, like do you feel heavy for me, too?”

“jj, i don’t even know what heavy means in this context and what you’re referring to.”

• but he comes from a good place, and you come to know, learn and love that, because well he loves you, and with jj you just have to infer by his mess of words.

• this boy tries to be as romantic as possible but he’s literally never had a s/o before. the only thing he knows are one nighters so there is a lot that pope and john b advise him on because miscommunication is quite literally the worst. (stated by john b himself)

• for this instance and the sake of the headcanons: you are a member of the pogues, through and through.

• so most of the time you’re together, the pogues are there too. even dates. they love to occupy and jj could shout at the top of his lungs how they are the biggest cock-blockers to ever exist and they would not care. 

• so at that point he doesn’t even try to keep his hands to himself, he will touch you or quite literally make out with you in front of anyone and everyone he can.

• i mean he can get a little protective. (also considering he would never let you around his dad because he wants to protect you and would never let you near anyone that could hurt you) 

• i mean this guy would fight for you till the very end; punches thrown countless of times and harsh words absolutely shouted more times than you could count on your fingers, but no matter how many times you chastise jj, he would never stop to defend your honour because at the end of the night you’re the one playing with his hair and kissing his cuts and bruises.

• especially after everything as well with rafe, topper and the kooks he just wants everyone (including the tourons you see once a millennium) to know that you and him are romantically involved and you are very much taken.

• he even lets the most irrelevant people know the both of you are dating because he loves you that much:

“okay, babe, here me out—”

“jj a whole group of kids just asked me about our relationship! i love you, but the whole population does not need to know that we’re together.”

“obviously we can't tell the whole population! or I would, duh.”

•  even though he could blabber on about everything about you, including what shampoo you use and which perfume of yours is his favourite, affection is more his style: 

• this includes walking around with his hand in your back pocket because wearing anything but jean shorts is really not an option in that heat, (and this does include ass grabbing at every opportunity he can)—

• — his hand gently placed on your thigh while driving / while he’s next to you, interlocking pinkies 98% of the time as you walk together —

• — and peppering kisses is always happening. whether they’re ticking at your checks, suffocating your neck or affectionately placed on your forehead he’s always kissing you.

• other key, and essential, things that come to mind are that his arm is always around you; after everything that’s happened to him he just needs to physically know you’re there and that’s enough to subdue him.

• it’s almost routine for him arm to go around your waist or your shoulder, whether you’re tall or short, tbh he doesn’t really care, his arms and lips are always on you.

• dating jj is dating a teenage boy with absolutely no impulse control and zero control over what he says—

“I mean, dude, if you think about it, why isn’t a banana called a yellow if an orange is called an orange? and why are phones called ‘telephones’ like who the fuck came up with that crap?”

or

“i mean, hey, we could bang out here and it’s not like anyone would know. like jb could be out in the living room and be like clueless.”

“jj, there’s two windows pointing directly at us. i think he would know.”

• —if you don’t understand then he definitely does not either.

• you also flip each other off a lot and people are like ??? but you both are like — fuck you —(affectionate & full of love with my middle fingers)

• one thing he does know is how to flatter you, whether he’s obnoxiously winking at you or bringing you flowers with his tips from work, or he picked them himself, it’s all in the effort.

• any effort from you is like kids getting their favourite toy they’ve been wanting on christmas, for instance: anytime you bring him food, or offer to stay with him at john b’s is like swelling up his heart to the maximum.

• so when he’s not with you, or the pogues, which is rare he is outside. and jj is like diego the explorer he always finds little places just for himself, or for this instance with you.

• so a lot of dates include going to these secluded spots: sometimes it’s a picnic, or a walk, and stargazing is his absolute favourite as he listens to you drone on about the constellations and even just watching the sky with your presence next to him is so comforting and makes him feel safe. 

• of course when the pogues find out they’re brutal with their teasing.

“awww, look at the cute and happy couple!”

“my wittle babies, growing up so fast.”

“god, kie, you make it sound like we’re five?!”

• speaking of alone time, jj loves to cuddle when you guys are alone and that’s one thing he’s not fond of being teased about.

• his head is firm on your chest, his arms wrapped around your waist and his leg flung over your hips. to him it’s just a perfect way to start and end the day.

• he also loves to watch movies while cuddling and he has a set of movies and their genres completely memorized for the occasion.

• he has such a good memory to the weirdest things. like he can state in the exact order your makeup routine, or talk about all the caves and sinkholes in yukatan but ask him how many states there are in america and he’s completely bummed.

• back to what i was saying, cuddling and movie times together.

• he’s the little spoon i will not argue with anyone about this, especially if something happened that day.

• like if rafe pissed him off, some kooks stepped on his toes, his dad had been particularly agitated that day or he was just frustrated. your embrace is what keeps his together. he just loves the feeling of your arms around him, essentially protecting him.

• and the pogues always get a kick out of it when they see you too snuggled in the morning. they even take pictures, a lot of pictures of everything and anything they can. 

• their fav times to take pictures is when you both are off guard: like when he’s putting his hat on you, he’s sharing his juul with you, you guys are laying together on the boat or maybe your surfing together in the water.

• he’s surprisingly intimate about everything even though they’re such mundane things for him.

• he expresses his love for you by actions rather than words. for example, he has a guitar (an absolutely beat up one with missing strings and chipped wood, but he says it has more character that way as well as your signature on the back of it)—

• —and just strums it for you absolutely whenever and however your mood is because no matter what its always calming. sometimes he even hums a little tune or starts singing a bit.  

• another few ways he depicts his love for you is by shoving his baseball hat on your head (the one that absolutely nobody is allowed to wear) because he doesn’t want you frying in the sun or dying of heatstroke.

• a lot of his tank tops are now yours because they’re so comfortable and you can wear them literally anywhere.

• he shares, only with you but, he shares. his rings are on your fingers, his bandana is around your neck, his boxers are your sleep shorts, and he absolutely eats that shit up.

• he also gets extremely comfortable with you, like even more than john b in a way. example: you could just be chilling, his arm wrapped around your neck and — boom — he’s shoving your face in his armpit and trying to tickle you.

• it gets to the point where the pogues are so used to it and sometimes even they join in because they even like being included in on your affections but would absolutely rather drown than admit it. they love watching their two best friends love grow for each other, and they're happy jj has found sanctuary to love and be with someone freely. 

• speaking of love, jj is also like a puppy: praise, reassurance and kisses are the way to his heart and staying there.

• i’m gonna say it, jj has self confidence and love issues. they are not detectable at all but with his mother gone and the way his father treated him, there’s shit buried in his heart that it takes awhile for him to open up about.

• once he does: he cries, and he cried a lot. but after that it was like never letting go again. he trusts you with his whole heart and soul and he knows you won’t take advantage of that.

• the way you both accept each other into each others lives is so important to him no matter where you live, who you are and what your family is like everything counts for him and that just makes you the person who you are. 

• dating jj can be complicated and messy and wonderful and passionate and relationships aren’t easy but he would def be worth it <3