#ignore me im in a emotional mood rn
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the-grimm-writer · 2 years ago
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Toga's entire story is actually so devastating I'm gonna cry
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blkjackalz · 1 year ago
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the-s1lly-corner · 1 year ago
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Oooh idk if someone already asked for it but what about how TADC cast would react if they were under a mistletoe with their S/O
TADC cast x reader under the mistletoe!
i know i literally just said that i was going to post because i just came down from a little..... emotional high (negative) but i feel too guilty not answering stuff today so im probably going to answer this and a few more simply because im going to feel so guilty if i dont do anything today which is just going to make me feel worse than i already do so uhuhuhuhuh... jack stauber coming in clutch rn i know i usually answer stuff in the order of them being sent in but to do a silly compromise for my silly people pleaser mindset im going to knock out the ones that are easier for me sooooooo
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CAINE:
oh you just know that hes the one who planted the mistletoe in the first place.... i mean as soon as he found out about the tradition, assuming he didnt already know.. i just know hes going to do whatever he can to get you under it. does he know that he can ask for a kiss? yes! but he wants to be festive and do some traditions and stuff! gives you the biggest "kiss" he can give you when you finally get stuck together under one... probably knocks you back a little bit from how enthusiastic he is...
POMNI:
very shy about it, i think she would give you a cheek kiss rather than a mouth kiss, especially if there are other people around. pomni doesnt strike me as the type to one to full on kiss their partner when theres an audience, so i hope you can understand her aversion! its not that she doesnt want to kiss you, shes just shy about the eyes watching the two of you... though, she would be more inclined to do it if it were just the two of you in the area!
RAGATHA:
honestly she looks like she would love christmas. i dont know why and i cant explain why. so i think she would love most of the activities and traditions surrounding it. and yes, this includes the mistletoe! i think for most of these, the mistletoe would be hung up by caine to really sell the festive mood.... and ragatha likely wouldnt have planned this, but inevitably you guys get under it at the same time. not as against PDA as some of the others, i think, so i think she would give you a very gentle kiss on your lips. very bashful if you beat her to it, though. kind of folds her hands together and digs her foot into the ground... you know the stance, hopefully.. kind of swaying a little while her face is burning up
JAX:
probably makes a big stink of it, whether trying to deny the kiss or to lean into it. i can honestly see both... does NOT let you be the one to initiate the kiss, since while he hates PDA, i think he hates it more when hes on the receiving end. say it all the time, its a vulnerability thing for him. he doesnt like other people seeing him flustered... now will a simple kiss from you make him pink in the face? probably not, but he would rather not risk it! plus, he wants to take this as a moment to tease you! will not let you live it down if you even get the slightest bit embarrassed from whatever hes going to do under that mistletoe
KINGER:
think i mentioned this in the kiss cam request, but kinger is not against giving you kisses when theres an audience. like he wont full on make out with you in front of others (ignoring the fact that he doesnt have a mouth, much less a functional one) but i am a firm believer that he and other characters with a nontraditional mouth just nuzzle into your face in place of kisses... hmm... probably make a big show of asking if he can go ahead, afterall hes royalty! whats a royal without chivalry! very gently presses where his mouth would be against your lips for a few seconds before walking you guys to where ever you were planning to go before someone stopped you and alerted you both of the mistletoe above. generally very sweet and dorky, i think
ZOOBLE:
does not like giving or receiving affection in public, the furthest they are willing to go is hand holding and simple name calling.... if no one is around when you guys are under the mistletoe, theyre more than willing to let you have your kiss, but if theres even one person around, theyre going to show a little aversion to it... on one hand i want to say that they might suck it up and lean into their "its whatever" attitude, but i dont feel... like that suits them, and on top of that whats the point if someone is clearly not having fun/not comfortable, you know? so theyre more likely to gently reject you... though i like to think that they make up for it by giving you a kiss behind closed doors!
GANGLE:
freezes like a deer in headlights when someone loudly announces that you guys stopped together under a mistletoe, the eyes of her mask going wide and her mouth just going straight... if she has her comedy mask, she might be a little less.. frozen, but not by much... but with her tragedy mask? nope, shes totally still and quiet, poor thing.... you almost feel bad, so really theres a chance you just take her away from the scene rather than kissing her.... doesnt like being put on the spot for things like that, especially if the person alerting you guys of the mistletoe is making a huge scene (either caine or jax... though with caine it would be more so lighthearted fun with no malice, whereas jax is just being jax)
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branches-and-thorns · 4 months ago
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Listening to EPIC on shuffle liveblog
1:35pm: we’re on Ruthlessness! It’s a vibe I’m enjoying it.
1:38pm: …FULL SPEED AHEAD! Just got asked what I’m laughing at, oh boys you are not getting home. And an alarm just went off and paused the music like that was the source—
1:43pm: MY GOODBYE! Honestly one of my favourite songs. I think I should draw it at some point. I have several OC-related thoughts about it. Turning it up a little bit, completely ignoring the outside world :>
1:46pm: Just a Man! Spotify’s giving me all the songs I associate with OCs and frankly I’m not mad. And god this version sounds so more tragic than the original. Idk if that’s the retrospect or the singing tho. Also I swear I can hear roaring at one point?
1:49pm: STORRRRRRRRRRRRM!
1:52pm: MONSTER MY BELOVED!! So this song has BIG oc associations for me but the much funnier story is that I had my pre-op appointment right after this saga came out and in an attempt to deal with blood drawing I fucking BLARED this song through my headphones and it actually worked and frankly there is no bigger mood rn. Hands down favourite song of the show.
1:55pm: THE UNDERWORLD! THE MUSIC! I AM VIBING SO MUCH RN! Okay now it’s on the mom bit and I’m just glancing my own mum and…emotions. OKAY BACK TO MUSICCCC
2pm: THUNDER BRINGERRRRRRR!!! This will be two minutes of vibing and the rest will be screaming internally NO. OKAY I AM SCREAMING NOW. WHY IS THIS SONG SO EMOTIONAL I CANT. God this ending music makes me wanna cry. These characters are not real why am I like this.
2:05pm: NO LONGER YOU ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. SEE I LOVE THIS SONG BUT LIKE NOT NOW IM STILL DEALING WITH THE PROPHESIED EVENTS PLEASE. OH I CAN ACTUALLY HEAR THE SCYLLA AND SIREN SONG IM SO DONE RN
2:08PM: OH THAT WAS A SQUELCH THIS IS DIFFERENT BEAST OHHHHHHHHHH. Okay I’m having character thoughts putting a pin in that for after the live-blogging.
2:12PM: WELCOME CIRCE ITS THERE ARE OTHER WAYS! God this song is such a vibe. God she’s such a vibe. And look more character associations! Funny story I was listening to this song while drawing a masquerade and the music in the first half really reminds me of a dance. The tapping beat. Idk how to explain it.
2:18PM: DONE FORRRRRRR!!!! I love this one sm I just. CIRCE. THE SINGING. THE MUSIC. EVERYTHING. I AM IN HEAVEN RN
2:20PM: WARRIOR OF THE MIND! This is just Girls time now I love them sm. GOD Athena’s singing in this is AMAZING. And what is that beat it sounds like a heartbeat. Actually it sounds like a heartbeat a lot what’s with that is that just me.
AND IM CUTTING IT THERE SINCE THE WIFI IS NOW BACK ON
THANKS FOR COMING THIS WAS FUN
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loquaciouscat · 2 years ago
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Who wants to listen me as i write a. Whole essay on Shigeo's mental journey and how it can be parallels with DID by someone with diagnosed DID!!!!!!!!! 😋
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(pls ignore all the grammatical mistakes, im too lazy to correct all rn maybe later)
CW: trauma, bullying, dissociation, derealization, discussion of neurodivergent struggles. Please be aware it might be upsetting to some before reading 🙏
Neurodiversity changes how you process trauma. Keep this in mind!! I can point out so many moments where Shigeo is nd-coded, especially autism. We can see people calling him "hard-hearted", "numb" and "incapable of showing emotions". He lacks showing his emotions with facial expressions. You can see how much it upsets him when people assume he doesn't feel anything, getting heard "Get a clue." etc. (Keep this in mind, %??? is quite expressive)
Quoting from @lost-caticorn 's wonderful post that explains more about Shigeo's possible autism (I'll be linking below)
"In the anime this line is translated by “get a clue” but it doesn’t really match the Japanese words used here “空気を読む” which means “read the situation/sense the mood”. Also I think it’s worth mentioning that in episode 4  he literally names it the “reading-in-the-mood technique” (空気を読む技術). This just illustrates how non-natural this is to him."
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Autism joy is something many neurotypicals cannot grasp nor understand. We see Shigeo was not scared of showing these, sharing his ability, talking about it constantly (this can be interpreted as special interests within daily life). He was not afraid of himself, nor minded his difference than others. You'll understand in a second but I believe these were the times Mob and %??? Had a peaceful connection with each other. Like I mentioned a second ago, %??? is a lot more expressive, powerful and stronger part of the mind. I can see myself associating this with autistic joy! Even they are on opposite sides as a character, both Mob and %??? Had moments for themselves to share their joy and happiness.
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Then the snapping point of Shigeo, first time ever. %??? Causes harm, which makes Mob scared (like a meltdown!)
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This is the point I'll start rambling about DID.
DID, dissociative identity disorder, is caused by repeated childhood trauma. Basically, in a normal setting, you have one prime identity, it can be followed by "sportive" you, "parent" you, "friendly" you etc.
For DID, brain puts amnesia barriers between those parts, which is followed by dissociation and derealization. These "parts", which are called alters, develop their own identities, completely seperate from each other. Alters usually have so little to none connection with each other. They all have their own "jobs" in brain, making sure the child doesn't get affected by the trauma. Some keeps the trauma away "memory holders", some are more agressive and try to protect the kid from outside abuse "protectors" etc. So many roles, I cannot explain all here!
WHAT I ABSOLUTELY LOVE ABOUT THE MANGA COMES FROM THIS!!!! %??? and Mob are the same person, yet so disconnected. Mob associates %??? as an evil, wishing it never existed. Yet we see %??? Taking control whenever there is an extremely stressful/dangerous situation, protecting Mob.
But on the final arc, we see %???'s frustration towards Mob, angry about how he is so repressed, while also explaining he doesn't approve the way Mob chooses to live.
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"You always do that, convincing yourself that you understood. And it always out me at advantage."
As much as Mob doesn't like it, %??? is still a huge part of the mind. We all know how we saw Mob doing nothing but hating %??? Because he is "evil, bad, trying to hurt others". Yet all %??? Did was to try to protect Mob.
%??? insists on how he is himself even without power, showing how helpless he felt while holding all the repressed feelings the mind had, getting used as a weapon and Mob using him to "for the sake of others". Mob never truly acknowledged %???, Yet he accepted his help all the time while hating %???.
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We see %??? Trying to remove Mob's existance from mind space. Although, can he really do that? I would say no, not really. They are both a part of something bigger, the mind and the body. Mob tried to remove the existance of %??? From the mind, miserably failed.
%??? Tries to do the same thing to Mob. Understandably Mob is terrified, just screaming and crying out of terror. Actually they just switched places, and %??? Was treating Mob how he treated him for so many years. Nothing changed except %??? Got to be in charge after many years.
At the moment Ritsu got hurt, the peaceful connection between other two was gone. This made them get seperated, aware and unaware of each other at the same time.
This is why I believe how there are parallels with DID, especially on the final arc. %??? had the role of a protector alter. Mob doesn't have any memory of the times %??? front (taking control). They are all blurry memories, you can see Mob is confused whenever he gains fully control of the mind and body, not knowing where he is or what he is doing. I also absolutely love how Ritsu getting hurt as a kid is not shown us to completely, because Shigeo doesn't know either. I believe %??? Has those memories locked away, yet still got evilized by Mob for years.
At the end, they both accept each other, making peace between each other. Honestly, what you might see as those kind of "fighting for gaining control of mind" happens a lot to people with DID. Alters might believe they are the most suitable to protect and control the body and mind the best way, causing a chaos in mind space.
I really do see parallels of DID especially on final arc! I don't know if I would headcanon Shigeo as a DID system, but I just really appreciate some representation for dissociation and memory issues 💕 it's a lot more than a losing control situation. I am neurodivergent and with undiagnosed autism, and I see a lot of myself in Shigeo.
Super long post i know but I really wanted to talk about it! Rambling over
Ps: Please also read this, it's amazing 🙏 I strongly believe Mob is an accurately autistic coded character. We need many others like him in mainstream media 💕
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yourwolfmuzzle · 1 year ago
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I kinda in the "recovery mood" so im not that active rn on internet, but this fucking cut-part storyboard (and Yang buff arms...for getting a little bit meat on Yang's arms and ponytail back i need to also get her extra tits size and ugly outfit...i cant have shit in this house without sacrificing something or make something already bad even MORE bad) got into my recommendations on yt and make me feel soooo much emotions that i need to rant into a wall.
LONG POST WARNING?
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Before to start it i will honestly trying to tell what i kinda like.
+ Outside of making R/WBY feels like a fucking savers of this world, i kinda dig how sad and kinda depress this all feel at the start. This kinda stuff i want to see after vol8 - how everyone who survive is trying to live they new live and how second characters trying to hold everything together, but having a hard time. A grimm reality with almost no hope.
+ I kinda like how Winter VA was able to pull up her action? Like...i can hear that she was "grieving" a lost of her sister and that she dont feel like everything will going to be better.
+ WE STAN THIS ONE WOMAN WHO WAS TRYING TO DRAG SCHNEE. GOOD FOR HER, LET HER SPEAK!
+At least Winter remember about Penny...
And now EVERYTHING ELSE.
There is a thing - im fine with Winter and Qrow talking about in positive ways about R/WBY that they was trying to to everything that they can to save people. That they was a good huntress or something like that. They in grieving processe, "dont talk about the dead one in negative way", all that jazz. But everything that they talking about sounds like they was a new gods in this world. Like they the new savers of this world when...its not exactly true. The idea is there and this whole "you send the message to the world" can maybe works, but everything sound like they perfect people who save a whole world.
Hey guys! Are we going to...just ignore the fact that Salem now have a staff? Winter mention this but thats it. I dont know how many days its was, how hardcore we timeskip, but you telling me that Salem was just chilling in situation, when her enemy in the most vulnerable position and one of the main problem is no where to be found? Like...okay sure.
Even if i like this one lady who was calling out Schnees (again good for her, she have all right to talk like this with Willow)...i wish there was much more people who was disappointed or angry about Schnee or even angry about R/WBY. Just in general showing that people not only angry about that fact how hard they lives now but also trying to find the one who done this. Not everyone will be buss with trying to fix in what situation they are, somebody will trying to find who guilty. Its cant be the only one woman.
Okay...im maybe have a hard time to remember about vol8 and maybe i didnt rewatch vol7-8 in general that much and maybe its just me remembering things not correctly, but...is there was a whole problem to tell people the true about Salem? This whole "panic will bring grimm" thing? This was also a problem in the end of vol8 if i remember this correctly? Well, right now people not only know about Salem, but they also in extream situation with no homes, living in tents. There is no coming back to home, this is they lifes now. But no grimm problem in this epilogue. I dont even remember if Winter or Qrow mention about grimm?
Also about ignoring stuff - there is still some dead people outside of "dead R/WBY". I maybe miss something or didnt saw some detail but i dont remember some memorials for people who got kill by Cinder or solders who die protecting Atlas. I know Atlas in big mean place and "fuck military", but...they still trying to help?
There is this one moment with gravestone with "Dont Come Back", that Winter write on it. I know there is already two side of this thing (i dont believe anyone and AGAIN this whole miscommunication problem in team + both points is really fucking bad in different ways), but i just want to say that before jump into reading comments or what theory people have about this - i was having no clue what is this and for what was that. I know its storyboard and storyboards not always look with a lot of details, but i was so confuse for what this was done. Anyway, both points is bad and if Ironwood one thing is the real one - my fucking god can you stop having a beef with your own characters and remember that before Ironwood start to be cartoon man-man Winter was working with him for pretty long time?
Do you remember me talking about "both Winter and Qrow in grieving process"? Yeah i fucking lied, its only Winter. For some reasons they decide that the most depress man in this world, the most "I Am Shadow The Hedgehog" guy in the team (according to vol8) after loosing both his only nieces and a guy who was his kinda friend who help him in vol7 and the guy that YES was a antagonist for vol8, but from what i remember was also his kinda friend - absolutely positive! And not in the way that he trying to hold himself together mentally after loosing so many people all in short time, but just positive. Listen, i hate this whole "i wish Qrow was back to drinking", but this is the last guy who have to be THIS positive about everything. My guy can maybe not go into drinking speedrun for good reasons (like he dont want to drink anymore at least for his nieces or he just know that he will feel even worst if he will go drinking again, when he already have a hard time to hold himself together?), but this all feel so wrong and feel like he dont care about losing such a important people. (MY BIRDMAN YOU DESERVE BETTER ONES AGAIN)
YOU DO NOT BRING UP FAIRGAME INTO THIS. THIS IS NOT REAL. "The controversity is good" shit, can you leave FairGame shippers alone?
RAVEN IS THERE. I already knew that they will trying to redem her ass because she is a female villain in R/WBY and that scene from vol9, but...i have other questions. How...Yang is chill that Raven just...transporting them? How Ruby, who only a couple hours ago find out that her mother go on her last mission and that Raven is the one who was the last with her, is absolutely dont trying to do with her anything? How anyone is soooo chill that a bandit and maiden is there? If this was done only so RW/BY can got right to Qrow so we can have this whole...reuniting scene then WOW. There is a chance that this scene was done before they start to cut out two episode and start to working on crossover movie, but im not sure how those two episodes can fix this whole situation.
You know i maybe really touch-hungry person who love hugging, but...why nobody was trying to hug JR/WBY team after they got there? Like...Qrow is just looking at them like its norman friday after mission and the only one who at least react in some way was Nora (With a little bit Ren, Oscar have a strange reaction?). Like...you all was thinking for some time that those people is dead. You didnt know where are they, why nobody hug them or hold they hands or just in general dont trying to have a contact with them, like nobody have a "ARE YOU A REAL?" moments?
Just in general JR/WBY getting there feel...wrong? Like they teleport there and just...walk to look how this whole situation looking. Again, no hugs to Qrow or ORN, no bright reaction toward them? (i know, for R/WBY team its was maybe a couple days, you all was not sure if you even will get back to them. Also Jaune was in EA for 10-20 years. He didnt saw his team for 10-20 YEARS. Listen, im not the most biggest fan of him, but like...let at least him hug his team?). I get it when they didnt react at first, from what i can tell they didnt saw Qrow at first. But after they look at him or when ORN saw them? No? You can still end up this scene with Ruby face, i just feel like after Winter and Qrow speech such a emotions reaction can work pretty well as a ending. Like..."there is a struggle and hurt, but we dont give up" with "hope" coming back to them?
Im worry about Oscar that we ones again skip his character development off screen, but its hard to tell in 6 min long epilogue storyboard.
Still no moments with Maria and Pietro. I mix up this one old man (this one from vol8 that is also a faunus) with him and was question "why he is not in his spider-wheelchair?" but after re watching - there is just no Maria and Pietro. They still cant remember about them. They remember about Ace-Ops, Happy Huntresses (ALSO MAY IS THERE OOPS-), but fuck Pietro and Maria.
This whole thing in general didnt anser the most biggest question - how long its been after JR/WBY+Neo fell? This whole thing is not helping at all and no matter what time is canon - its will not save this moment. Its been a week/s? Qrow got from this really fucking fast and even this whole situations with people looking really too good actually. Its been a months (around 6+) or even a year? This is really bad.
ALSO something i find out only right now - MOTHERFUCKERS IS THERE. This is not...a bad thing, but now i knew that if vol10 will be a thing - they remember about both "sea boys" team and "READ A BOOK" team. Happy to see that they remember about the first one, but after finding our how "in book" team was written - im not ready to see Coco team AT ALL.
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In term of fanservise, if we going to look at this from perspective of how a fan will react on this if its was a really epilogue that they didnt cut out - oh boy its working pretty fucking good and probably if this was the ending for vol9 - i feel like people would talk about this season a lot more because after the ending of vol9 even some of hardcore fans was not talking about this whole vol that much.
But in term of writing - THANK GOD THIS WAS DELETED. Sure its kinda emotional epilogue, that hitting fans in right place, but giving us pretty much moments thats dont need to be there or working not that great. I heard that they will try to make this into volume 10, which is....knowing how they dont like "kill they darling" or deleting content that they think is really cool or prioritise moments that have to be cut over moments that needed to be on screen...i have zero hopes that they will re-write this scene. Maybe they will delete Raven because right now with episodes that we got in vol9 she just...out of place there.
But we will see. There is still no greenlight info...
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reiding-writing · 8 months ago
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Okokokok
Cold!reader just looking in to spencers eyes just inches away from his face and saying "i feel things when im with you" after morgan called her ruler of all that is evil and stoic
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MAJORITY VOTE [ONESHOT]
/məˈdʒɒrəti vəʊt/
morgan is convinced that you’re incapable of expressing human emotion, so you bring spencer in as backup to consolidate you.
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WARNINGS: fem!reader, jokes about lack of emotional vulnerability
spencer reid x cold!reader || fluff || 1.0k || series masterlist!!
a/n: on my productivity game rn 🫡 made this a little less on the nose but still the same vibes yk?
main masterlist!!
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“Well well, if it isn’t my favourite robot, get tired of the icy planes of your snow kingdom and decide to come into work early today?” Morgan laughs at his own humour as you walk around the bullpen towards your desk, swivelling his chair in your direction.
“The coffee shop I go to was closed.” You dump your messenger bag on your desk with a loud ‘thud’. Clearly missing your morning coffee had put a damper on your already unenthusiastic mood.
“So we can be expecting even less humanity from you today, got it,” He shoots you a thumbs up with a laugh as he watches you slump down in your chair with a huff, audibly finding entertainment in your misery.
“I am perfectly human thank you very much,” You shoot him a glare across the diagonal of your desks as you unpack your bag for the day and dump it on the floor by your feet.
“No offence, but I’ve seen more emotional vulnerability in a rock,” You groan internally at his response, dragging the palm of your hand down your face. It was too early to be having this debate.
Any time was too early to be having this debate. Why did people constantly feel like they had to bring up the fact that you weren’t open with yourself? If you didn’t know Morgan was being completely unserious you’re sure you would have smacked him by now.
“I am very in tune with my emotions, you can ask Reid.”
Morgan laughs at your comment like you’d just told him the moon was made of cheese. “Please, Reid would take your side even if it was you calling doctor who the worst tv show to ever air, his opinion is completely biased,”
“That is not true, Reid is very logical in his opinions,”
“Thank… You?” You turn your head at the new voice in the conversation, Spencer glancing between the two of you with a confused expression etched onto his face as he wrings the strap of his messenger bag between his hands.
“Reid. Perfect timing.” You get up from your seat with a start, ignoring the pale pink shade covering his cheeks at your compliment. He chooses to take it as a compliment anyway.
You stop a few feet in front of him with your arms crossed tight across your chest and a determined expression on your face. “I have emotions don’t I?”
“I- What?” He blinks at you blankly in response, your question coming completely out of left field and not helped by the fact you’d essentially bombarded him the second he walked into the office and was now invading in his personal space.
“That’s a leading question,” Morgan drawls out his words with a shake of his head. “Leading questions lead to inaccurate results Ice Queen, you’re a Psychologist you know this,”
“Be quiet.” You turn to hush Morgan with a sharp movement of your hands before turning back to Spencer again, the confusion on his face only growing the longer the interaction goes on. “You’ve seen me display multiple different emotions haven’t you?”
“I- …Yes?” Spencer doesn’t look any less confused as he answers your question, but you take it as a win anyway as you gesture outwards to Spencer with a triumphant glimmer in your eyes.
“There. Proof.”
“I already said Reid is an unreliable source,” Morgan rolls his eyes with an amused expression at much you’re going out of your way to prove him wrong.
“Two sources.” you wave your finger between yourself and Spencer. “That’s majority vote,”
“Biased majority vote,”
“Maybe you just need to accept the fact that you’re not as good of a profiler as you think you are,” You shrug your shoulders nonchalantly.
“Hey woah now-”
Spencer continues to look between the two of you with absolutely zero idea of the context of the conversation, leaning slightly forward to speak over your shoulder to you. “….whats going on?”
“Nothing Reid, you’re fine,” You step to the side and encourage him forward with a hand on his arm, which he follows with no question despite still being entirely confounded at the situation, letting his bag fall to the floor as he takes a seat next to Morgan at his own desk.
“I’m still calling bias, that’s clear favouritism,” Morgan continues to stand his ground as you retake your own seat opposite Spencer, waving his finger at the two of you like a scolding parent.
“What’s favouritism?” Spencer tries to get insight on the conversation, but Morgan keeps his attention focused on shooting at you and not divulging why.
“It’s not favouritism, it’s fact.”
Morgan shakes his head with a huff, reclining back in his chair and crossing his arms. “It’s favouritism…” He was starting to loose his will to debate with you now, something you were definitely grateful about considering you’d now been arguing about your emotional state for over ten minutes.
“Sure sure whatever,” You wave Morgan off with a roll of your eyes, turning your attention to Spencer and giving him a short nod. “Thanks,”
He mirrored your nod with one of his own, eyebrows scrunched together and lips pressed into an awkward smile. “You’re welcome?”
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mielgf · 5 years ago
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can i uhhhhhhhh.......... drop out of uni and go tf home lmao
#im so sorry for coming on here with this shit but i really feel like i can’t talk to anyone about the way im feeling#all my other friends from high school / internet friends at uni are having so much fun#and i don’t want to ruin their moods with my complaining and shit#i can’t talk to my mom or sister because they’ll just be upset with me and be sad bc i’m sad#i can’t talk to my dad bc while he does his to comfort and empathize with me he kinda has ‘youll get over it so why be sad now’ attitude#which makes it hard bc i feel like i should just suck it up and not experience these emotions#i feel so shitty bc i skipped so many frosh events but it’s bc my group makes me feel so left out and unwanted there#like so many of them just blatantly ignored my existence and the couple i did talk to had better friends#so i was just on the back burner if their other friends were there#i just wanna go fucking home right now#i probably feel this way bc im so tired#cause i did have a couple days where i was feeling okay but today i’ve just been really sad and lonely#i just want to make some friends so hopefully this week in tutorials & stuff i’ll be able to talk to more people and establish friendships#im also gonna fill out some hiring forms for different clubs tn so again hopefully through that i’ll make some pals#i really appreciate everyone who has been so kind on here every time i make these posts though#i really really am grateful for all the advice and words of encouragement#this is just really hard rn idk how i went so long in high school without making friends l#i went like 2 months almost and it’s barely been a week here and i feel like i’m gonna cry every second of every day pretty much#anyways i’m gonna go get dinner and then watch a movie with some snackies to calm down#talk time
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hob1tual-remade · 5 years ago
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,,
#alright im gonna keep having these lil diaries cuz i enjoy typing my thoughts out and this is the easiest way for me to do it#feel free to ignore#im gonna tag them as#🖤.txt#so feel free to filter that tag#so en ee way#today was a good day#not to say i didnt have negative thoughts bc lemme tell you i had a lot of those#but i did my best to stop myself before i sorta started spiraling and it worked for the most part#i just feel like a lot of things are changing rn and a lot of things need to change in so many aspects of my life#and its tough and it takes a lot of emotional and mental energy#but im going to work through the best i can and thats all i can do#and i just keep reminding myself that no matter how tough or uncertain it is#ill make it through one way or another#so today i got to see my best friend for the first time since skool ended and it was lovely#i missed her a lot but we went to the art gallery and then back to her house to go swimming and it just felt so good#were at a rly comfortable point in our friendship and i just appreciate her so much and i can feel that she appreciates me#and its just a rly good dynamic#but i also had some negative intrusive(?) thoughts pop up throughout the day but i just wasnt in the mood to let them get to me#at least until i got home and then i sorta had minimini internal breakdown but i kept it pretty contained and only cried a little#im just feeling a lot of pressure right now and i just have to remind myself that its no use getting worked up over#like its important to cry when you need to cry but honestly i think it would have just worked me up more#we’ll see ig#the world and my life are always bigger than whatever problem i may be having#like thats true for everybody and everything and its rly important for me to put stuff in perspective like that#im excited for the concert 2morrow and im trying to just focus on that for now#goodniiiiiight im gonna go watch asmr now (:
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lunaticsandidiots · 3 years ago
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long time coming
read on ao3  | gif cred @katanas5gfoamsword
synopsis: you find out about vigilante and it’s the final straw for something that was a long time coming.
pairing: adrian chase/gender neutral reader
word count: 1.7k
warnings: smut, heavy angst, hurt no comfort, unhealthy relationships, break up, unhappy ending, explicit sexual content, explicit language, mentions of depression, mentions of violence
a/n: my deepest apologies for the following heartbreak. forreal this is the saddest thing ive ever written lmao, its lowkey a vent piece im not gonna lie to yall rn. anon requested some ‘therapy inducing angst’ so i said bet. i promise the next vigilante instalment will super duper fun
“They just kept me working late, babe, that’s all.”
It was an innocuous enough statement. At the time, you were proud of Adrian for finally knuckling down and working hard at something, even if it was just as a bus boy at Fennel Fields. You’d never known him to be the most reliable or logical, but that was the way he was, and you’d loved him regardless. Adrian’s nonsensical approach to life used to keep things fresh, constantly keeping you on your toes and ensuring your romance never saw a dull day. 
In a strange way, you had grown used to his chaos. Hence why his first half a dozen unexplained absences were forgiven by you without question. You knew him too well. You knew that poking and prodding to pry an answer from him wouldn’t help you in the slightest. And you’d known him long enough that you trusted him. If someone came up to you in the street at that time, they wouldn’t be able to finish uttering the question, ‘would you trust him with your life?’ before your head started nodding assuredly.
How you wished now to be that person on the other end. To warn that spellbound, ignorant you from the past. To take them by the shoulders and shake some sense into them, to admonish them not to ignore the warning signs.
Adrian’s lack of accountability was only the harbinger of the heartbreak to come. A subconscious theme of indifference began to wash over every interaction the two of you shared, so subtle and undetectable that you weren’t able to find an explanation for those nights alone you cried yourself to sleep, or why your motivation and self esteem seemed to be in some sort of never-ending freefall. You can still vividly recall the last date the two of you ever went on. 
Adrian took you to the same restaurant, where you both ordered the same meal. Afterwards, he took you to the same arcade, to play the same game, just to get the same score. He laughed that same, goofy, taunting laugh, picking you up and spinning you around the same way he always did to lighten the mood. After taking the two of you home on the same route, he hummed the same tune he always did as you stood in the same spots, brushing your teeth. 
Everything was the same as it always was. The only difference, the only factor that set this night apart from all those other identical nights was the all consuming feeling of solitude. The realisation hit you like a tonne of bricks. The once abstract, indescribable feeling of paradoxical loneliness was now perfectly clear to you. If you had called out for him, Adrian would have rushed into the bedroom and been mere inches away from you in a matter of seconds. But you realised that even if you did that, even if you were to close the gap and press your lips against him, even if you knotted your hands in his hair and held him that close to you for the rest of your lives, he’d still feel a million miles away. No amount of physical proximity could make up for the light-years of emotional distance you had both been unknowingly fostering the entire time. 
You were sat up in bed, your eyes starting to burn from how long they’d been harshly focussed on the bedroom wall in front of you when his voice shook you out of your daze. You wanted nothing more than to disclose your newfound realisation. To illustrate how isolated and confused you felt, to show him how detached the two of you had become. But you had no words. You had no idea how to rekindle the two strangers you had become. At that point, you didn’t even know if it was worth it anymore. To this day, you still don’t know if he ever noticed your anguish that night, or whether he did and just resolved to pretend he didn’t. Maybe he was going through the exact same thing in his own head; a prospect that brought an excruciating amount of pain with it.
Even more painfully, you can also still vividly recall the last fuck. The contrast of the glaringly obvious emptiness and your crippling sense of grief felt like it was stabbing you in the gut and twisting the knife with every one of his thrusts. You hid your gasps of sorrow behind every one of his grunts. Adrian knew you like he knew the back of his hand. His tongue knew the exact pattern and his fingers knew the exact angle to coax a blinding orgasm out of you. The tears welled in eyes as you felt yourself cum around his cock buried deep inside you, and they finally broke the seal, streaming down your face as you felt him pull out just in time, as he always did, to coat your stomach with his seed as he muttered empty praises into the crook of your neck with a laugh. Despite the absolute codependency, despite the complete and absolute knowledge of what made the other tick, it wasn’t enough to bridge the gap. You were strangers.
You remember when you found the mask. That stupid, god awful green mask with the obnoxious, red-tinted visor glaring back at you as you clutched it in your shaking hands. You recognised it from the news. All those pictures, all those stories of what the masked ‘vigilante’ had done. All the blood spilled and lives lost by his hand. All the constant danger he was in. All the constant danger he put you in. And he’d told you nothing of it. You couldn’t pinpoint how long he’d been fostering this second, secret life for, though you could recall news stories spanning at least a few months back. 
You realised you’d been doing this too; in your own, very pedestrian and pathetic feeling way. Adrian had no idea how much you’d been suffering. He had no clue of all the god awful thoughts you’d been thinking, all the shame-filled pity parties, the bland, colourless existence you’d been living. That was the one thing you could never bring yourself to put on him, not entirely. Adrian stopped opening up you, and you did the same. You shut each other out. 
You wondered if maybe your subconscious knew about his secret identity all along and this was its nonsensical, destructive way of protecting itself. Maybe it was your subconscious’ idea of some sordid, cataclysmic revenge plan, to get back at him for incubating this newer, cooler identity for himself in the shadows, waiting for it to hatch so he could climb on, leave you behind and never look back.
You tried to talk to Adrian one last time. To give it one more shot. You’d poured your entire being, your heart and soul into the relationship, and thought until at least a few months ago that he’d done the same. You wanted nothing more than for that to be enough to keep the fire going, even if it meant just blowing on a few, dull embers to keep them alive for a little longer. You can remember the moment he got home that night. His face was relaxed; it was neutral. Happy. Through your nervous haze, you could see his brown eyes crinkle into a smile. Through the ringing in your ears, you could hear his nasally voice chirping something to the tune of ‘How was your day babe?’. You couldn’t do it anymore.
Your feet carried you into your bedroom, you couldn’t hear the sliding of drawers or clinking of coat-hangers as you hastily shoved your most important belongings into a suitcase.
“Babe, what the fuck are you doing? What is happening right now?” he asked, arms outstretched in confusion. You could taste your tears as you swallowed them back, feeling them run down your throat.
“I know about Vigilante.” you replied curtly. A jolt of adrenaline coursed through your veins as you spoke your mind for the first time in months, compelling you to harshly sweep your arm across your nightstand, carelessly knocking all of it’s freight into the suitcase. You heard an exasperated sigh escape his lungs and tried to zip up your bag loudly enough to mask his poignant expression of frustration. When you turned to look at him, your heart broke into a million pieces. He looked angry. Perturbed. But behind the frustration, you could see the concern. His thick brows peaked in the centre of his forehead as he cautiously approached you, the same way one approaches a timid, stray cat.
“I have to leave, Adrian. Before this kills me.” you explained. You didn’t have the energy to explain in any more detail. Not then. You’d decided, for your own wellbeing, that in that moment, the only thing left for you to do was go. It only further broke your heart to realise that he had no idea what you really meant.
“Baby, I won’t let anyone hurt you. I’ll always keep you safe, you know that. You know me” he appeased, stepping closer with arms wide open, silently begging you to drop your bags and step into his embrace. Instead, you took a step back.
“I’m not worried about anyone else hurting me. It’s Vigilante.”
Adrian stepped closer, bowing his head to earnestly look you in the eye as he gently rested his hands on your arms that still held your bag firmly.
“It’s me, baby. I’m Vigilante. You don’t have any reason to be scared of me. You don’t have any reason to be scared of Vigilante. I promise I’ll always keep you far away from all that,” Adrian explained, shaking his head and chuckling in an attempt to lighten the mood, “I mean, you’ve never even seen me with the mask on.”
You sighed, shrugging his hands off your shoulders. Your eyes betrayed you and took a moment to revel in the face before you. His beautiful face. The face you knew so well you could shut your eyes and picture every last detail of it, down to the freckle. The face you thought you’d get to look at every day for the rest of your life. The face that once filled your heart to the brim with love, and painfully, filled it with love no longer. Your eyes flitted briefly towards the front door, and your keys dangling from the lock, then back to his face for the last time.
“And that’s exactly why I have to go.”
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delicrieux · 4 years ago
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—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER
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extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 
pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao
author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao
ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist
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You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.
A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?
Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.
A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”
mother i crave violence
sensing evil energy rn!!
i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖
^with peace and love shut the fuck up
“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”
You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”
Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.
“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 
rip headphone users
i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears
yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭
To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.
Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 
queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?
Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie
akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.
Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.
There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.
The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.
nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!
^pack it up girl defined
“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”
You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 
“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 
i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 
shes trying give her time
ya dig??? y not capeesh
what scene from the godfather is this lol?
“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.
Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎
You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”
The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.
Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:
I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.
You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.
“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”
NOW she considers it
well....
if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3
Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”
Onto the bio:
You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 
“What the fuck did I just read?”
The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.
The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 
But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.
No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.
“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.
WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????
tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be
^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell
look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling
It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.
What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.
Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.
YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 
...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.
You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.
“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.
“What?” She grits.
“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”
“What did you do now?”
“I made fun of men on Tinder.”
She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”
“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”
“Y/n.”
“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”
She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.
Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.
You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(
my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?
Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 
Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!
You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?
my husband Not jealous.
Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”
He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!
my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.
You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao
my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?
You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs
my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)
Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.
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hope you liked it!! xx
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cafe-de-lune · 3 years ago
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helooo ♡ is it alright if I request for a genshin + tokyo revengers matchup? im alright with both genders but have a preference to make. if it’s close please ignore itt
im an esfp capricorn 2w3! im a minor btw,, appearance wise, i have long black hair and black eyes. im 163cm and im from asia. im an ambivert - I like chatting with others but i also need time by myself and I do get shy too sometimes. im also rly emotional and i cry quite a lot. i have a bad habit of following the crowd and i don’t want to stand out. umm im also rather caring and supportive of my friends and i value freedom. I tend to live in the moment and i do procrastinate quite a lot. im rather lazy and clumsy too. i get sleepy pretty easily too. how i act often depends on my mood.
i like sweet stuff a lot! and i also like surprises and rollar coasters, but i also like snuggling in my bed and playing my phone. i like small animals like dogs and cats a lot, but I hate insects. i dislike umm tests?? [i have a tests almost everyday rn and it’s pretty tiring :’)] i write my diary and umm sometimes play the ukulele when im free, but most of the times im on my phone. i think my aesthetics is minimalist.
i hope i hope this length is alright! im sorry if there are mistakes cause it’s 1am here and im sleep lmao,, thanks so muchhh and hope you’ll have a nice day / night !! stay safe and happy <3
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꒰ ☕️ ꒱ؘ Order: Cappuccino ࿐ ࿔*:・゚
I match you up with . . . . ♡
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———๑•̀ᴗ•̀) ̫ ❏ kaedehara kazuha & . . . .ೃ࿐
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note: I don’t exactly know what age kazuha is so let’s age him to be your age Anon! ^^
inazuma story spoiler warning!
. . ⇢ [ falling in love ; kazuha . ] ˎˊ˗ ꒰ ☕️ ꒱
strangers to lovers!
You and kazuha probably met while he was travelling through liyue in search of something that would awaken the empty vision
You might just be sitting on one of the benches overlooking liyue harbour, petting the stray dogs and cats and feeding them something. And all of a sudden, you would just hear someone saying something poetic out loud—close to you
“The warm gentle breeze
flowing through the bustling streets…”
“Hmmm… what shall the last line be?” I tried writing a haiku and it took too long to think of it forgive my lack of poetic ness
and then your eyes would meet. He would simply give you an eyes closed, small smile and greet you. He would start small talk and the cats and dogs who you were petting/feeding would turn their attention to him. Almost like they were naturally gravitating towards him
Kazuha would kneel down and pet the cat. You can’t help but to think that he has a rather melancholy expression despite he was smiling MY HEART
“Are these your cats?” He would ask, glancing up at you.
And you would say no and explain that they were just strays you were feeding. There would be a rather strange and comfortable silence enveloping the both of you as the cat continues to purr to his touch
And somehow he would be like “is there something troubling you?” It’s weird and you were completely taken off guard
“It’s nothing much but I just have a lot of tests these days—how do you know?”
“The wind told me.” And you would be like “????”
And that’s how i met your mother by completely weirding her out and giving her a weird impression of me - kazuha probably
After that, you would see him often petting the cats and dogs. And you two slowly opened up and became friends somehow. “The world really works in fascinating ways” he would say. There will be times where he isn’t there and that’s just because he’s somewhere around liyue
But like a stray cat he always somehow comes back to you. The cats and dogs have a natural gravitation towards him, but he has some kind of natural gravitation to you. It’s probably because you bring him peace, tranquility, and a sense of freedom—different from the fickle and rough seas and oppressiveness of inazuma
. . ⇢ [ confessing ; kazuha . ] ˎˊ˗ ꒰ ☕️ ꒱
The moment he realizes his feelings for you is when you two are watching the sun set over liyue harbour. Instead of watching the sun and it’s spectacle, at the corner of his eyes, he would be looking at you taking in the view
Now, he won’t deny his feelings. He has some sort of feeling that his feelings for you weren’t strictly platonic . And from there, he would start planning his confession to you
You wouldn’t know he has feelings for you because he hides his emotion extremely well. But if you look closely and pay attention to his face, you would see that the sadness from when you first met him slowly dissipates
he would confess at the place where you met him. You would think it’s weird that he’s calling you out on a different time than usual but you just shrug and go along with it
He’s gonna confess you in a poetic way I just know it. I’m not gonna attempt to write it because I’m gonna 10000% butcher it amd I can’t do that to u anon 💕
When he confessed to you, he would look so calm and collected. But on the inside, his heart is akin to that of the raging seas of Inazuma. He is so nervous and he can only hope for you to say yes to his confession.
And when you say yes, his heart will skip a beat and you will see the softest and most gentle smile as well as a dash of red across his cheeks. He would slowly hold your hand and pull you close and the your foreheads touch. All of his movements are really gentle
This is when you get a feeling of how nervous this boy was. You could feel his heart beating 💓
. . ⇢ [ dating ; kazuha . ] ˎˊ˗ ꒰ ☕️ ꒱
Whenever you are feeling a negative emotion, he will comfort you. For example, if you’re crying, he would pull you into his chest saying comforting words while kissing your tears away. And he would wait until you finish crying to let all your emotions out.
After you calm down, he will gently ask you what’s wrong and if he gets any indication of you not wanting to tell him, he won’t pry. He will wait patiently until you open up to him
And if you do tell him, he will do his best to find solutions to help you and if it’s because a show was sad he would smile gently and just comfort you. It’s really sweet
He really likes how you live in the moment. His purpose in liyue was all about finding something linked to the past and he loves how he can just turn off that stress when he’s with you and live in the moment with you.
A lot of your dates consists of quietly strolling around the city or countryside hand-in-hand or sitting under a tree in the countryside and resting.
And when you feel sleepy, he would offer you his lap so you could take a nap. And when you’re sleeping, he would look at you with SOOO much adoration while stroking your hair. He loves peaceful moments like those
Gentle reminders. He would remind you if an assignment was to be due or if you needed to do something. He is very much a human reminder lol
It’s ok if you are lazy because most of the times, all Kazuha wants to do is to be with you. So it doesn’t matter to him if you two are just lazing around
He loves hearing you play the ukulele. Especially when you two are out in the countryside of liyue, sitting peacefully under a tree—kazuha would love to hear you play it in those settings. He might even play a duet with you with one of his lead instrument thingy. (It’s a weird combo but it works!)
And cuddles!! I feel like kazuha would love to cuddle in a position where he can hear your heart. It’s a reassurance that yes you are here and this isn’t some kind of dream.
Kazuha will probably know when you are being clumsy. (He says it’s because of the wind) are you mid-air because you tripped over a rock? He’s gonna catch you. Did you accidentally dropped something? Don’t worry he caught it. Are you about to bump into a pole because you weren’t looking? He has a hand on your forehead so you bump your forehead against his hand instead
Kinda the elephant in the room, but kazuha would disappear from time to time in order to find a way to reawaken the empty vision. But don’t worry! He will come back to see you and stay for a few days before heading out. And each time he would comeback, he would give you something from the place he went to
It could be a qingxin flower from high ups in the mountains to silk flowers near Wanshu Inn, or a starconch by the beaches.
And if you want to go with him to explore, he will be a little hesitant because of your clumsy nature, but in the end he will agree. But he just watches out for you more. His senses heightens. He will almost always walk infront of you and something’s hand in hand just to survey the terrain and tell you to watch out over a bumpy path
If you guys encounter treasure hoarders or hilichurls, he will use his vacuum jump “e skill” to make all the enemies come to him and then deal with them swiftly. And if you have a vision, you two will fight side by side but kazuha watches out for you. (Bonus if you could add an pyro, hydro, electro, or cryo effect to his e and q skills
Now there will be a time where Kazuha will go back to Inazuma to deal with stuff there (not gonna elaborate because of spoilers) but he won’t let you go with him. He knows it’s really dangerous and he’s going into it expecting to maybe die.
It’s kinda sad because when he tells you, he doesn’t say “promise” or anything that guarantees his return because he knows there may not be a chance and he doesn’t want you to have hope. He will just reassure and comfort you. In the coming days before he has to leave, you two will be a bit more clingy with each other.
But you don’t have to worry because he comes back all well! And when you two meet again, Beidou just smiles at you two hugging and showing affection.
From then on, he promises to not leave you like that ever again. Who knows, maybe someday Kazuha will take you around Inazuma (spoiler!!!!!!!! And introduce you to tomo infront of his grave)
. . ⇢ [ couple pics ; kazuha . ] ˎˊ˗ ꒰ ☕️ ꒱
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———๑•̀ᴗ•̀) ̫ ❏ chifuyu matsuno .ೃ࿐
. . ⇢ [ falling in love ; chifuyu . ] ˎˊ˗ ꒰ ☕️ ꒱
Bumping into each other trope!
This boy was probably reading his manga while walking at the same time. And when he turned the corner, he didn’t see you and neither did you see him so your first encounter is literally with a bang
He would rub his head and be like “Oww” but when he saw you, the person he knocked down, Chifuyu would be in frantic mode. He would stand up first and offer you a hand and started to frantically apologize while rubbing the back of his head
Then he saw that you dropped something so he would reach for it but unbeknownst to him, you were also reaching it at the same time LOL AND U TWO BUMP UR HEADS AGAINST EACH OTHER
Chifuyu would immediately straighten up and be like “I’m really sorry!!!!” While being a little red due to embarrassment. And when you look at each other, you two just start to laugh because of the absurdity of the situation. And that is how you two met
Your friendship would start off with small waves, then Chifuyu would talk to you and you two would find out you guys are in the same class. So when tests come around, he would invite you to study at his place and of course baji will be there as well
I feel like this boy believes in love at first sight. So when he saw you interacting and cooing at Peke J all cutely and wholesomely, he doesn’t know but Cupid has hit his heart with an arrow.
It takes baji to be like “Chifuyu?” And smacking him to get him out of his trance. Baji would look at Chifuyu weirdly while Chifuyu stumbles to act normal because now ur looking at him. Throughout the study session, baji would observe Chifuyu very carefully he would just smirk by the end because he figured chifuyu out faster than he had figured out that one math problem
It was after that study session that Chifuyu started to become more clumsy in front of you. He would stumble over his words more often and act like a lovesick fool. HE WALKED STRAIGHT INTO A WALL BECAUSE HE WAS LOOKING AT U AND BAJI IS JUST CACKLING AT THIS FREE SHOW LOL
Toman meetings be like:
“Is chifuyu ok? He looks a little dazed and out of it.” -mitsuya
“Oh it’s nothing.” Baji says while smirking. “He’s just in loveee.” And Chifuyu would snap out of it real fast and be like “N-no!”
“Why is your face all red then? Why did you stutter then? gUYS CHIFUYU’S SPRING HAS FINALLY COME! HE WON’T BE SPENDING CHRISTMAS ALONE ANYMOREEE” -baji while holding Chifuyu in a neck hold
. . ⇢ [ confessing ; chifuyu . ] ˎˊ˗ ꒰ ☕️ ꒱
He’s gonna consult his Shoujo manga for confession ways. He knows consulting with baji about confessing is like consulting with a brick wall. He would definitely talk to Peke J—fully expecting a response mind you
“Pekeeee how should I confess.”
“Meow”
“No! I can’t give her ur favourite cat food! She’s not a cat!”
“Meow meow”
“Give her your favourite mouse toy? Peke, she wouldn’t like that.”
“Meow meow meow”
“Put on catnip??? I will only attract cats!”
So hear me out. Rooftop.
Pls he’s gonna be a blushing mess someone save him. He will stutter and fumble over his words and be unable to look at you straight in his eyes. But when he gathers all his courage and confess to you? Yeah he looks kinda cool
But he’s an open book. You could tell he is hella nervous. If you listen closely you can probably hear the thumping of his heart and Baji’s whisper screams of “go Chifuyu go! Go get ur spring!”
When you say yes, he’s gonna kneel on the ground because it took all his energy to confess to you. And when you go closer to him to see if he’s alright, he will pull you into a hug and hurry his dance into your shoulders—too embarrassed to show you his relieved and tomato face
And if you listen closely you will hear “sPRING HAS COME! Time to celebrate by burning a car..” -baji
. . ⇢ [ dating ; chifuyu . ] ˎˊ˗ ꒰ ☕️ ꒱
Lazy dates lazy dates did I mention lazy dates?
Just lounging around in his room, reading manga or watching a show or simply cuddling with each other and basking in each other’s presence
He loves to take naps with you on sleepy days. He would cuddly with you and trace hearts on your backs as you fall asleep. And when you are asleep, he won’t move a single millimeter in fear of waking you. He will be like “I’m as still as a rock. I’m as still as a rock” in his head of course
He doesn’t mind being a big spoon or little spoon. But there are some days where he prefers one over the other. For example, if he is feeling a bit sad or needy, he would want to be the little spoon.
He’s gonna be a bit clingy but if you tell him you want some alone time, he understands! He will just be a little down. And when you finally go to him to be with him, he’s gonna be clingy. If Peke J steals your attention, he will glare at his cat and put him on the bed and take his cat’s precious spit
When you bring your ukulele over, he won’t mind singing his heart out while you play your tune. Though sometimes his singing is a little questionable but it’s ok because u love him. Peke J would also love your ukulele playing too!
Boy if you two went to an amusement park to ride a dollar coaster…. Chifuyu will feign toughness but inside he is lowkey HIGHKEY scared shitless.
“Chifuyu, are you sure you are ok? We don’t have to ride the roller coaster if you are scared.”
“Huh? Wdym? I’m not scared at all.”
“…then why are your legs shaking?”
“T-they’re shaking from excitement!!!!”
But when the roller coaster comes down from it’s highest peak, the person behind him will be like “is it raining?” Because Chifuyu is crying and shouting in fear while you are smiling and enjoying your life
When you two get off the roller coaster, hug him and give him kisses because he’s gonna be so embarrassed. Ur gonna have to comfort this poor boy LOL
But he’s gonna recover and drag you to the Ferris wheel or something less thrilling for his heart. But if you want to go on some thrilling rides, he will summon his courage and go on them with you and the cycle of the roller coaster repeats
He’s gonna hold ur hand in crowded settings so that he doesn’t lose you
And you two are going to be famed the most clumsiest couple by the Guinness world records
Like Chifuyu just sees in his head how heroic he can be if he catches you before you fall. He is just imagining it in his head and hoping it plays out like how it does in shoujo mangas
But does it work? Of course not. As he runs over to catch you, he trips on something himself and you two end up on the ground together PLS U ARE SO CUTE BUT IM SO CONCERNED
And when you drop something? He’s gonna try to catch it but he also misses catching it poor boy
When he finds out you write a diary, he’s gonna be like 💡💡💡”wanna write a shared diary where I get it for one day and you get it for another and we can write about stuff that you wanna tell the other?”
Pls it’s such a cute idea. If you do go through with it, he’s gonna make sure it’s his nearest writing. Sometimes, he draws cute little doodles of you and him and Peke J together
. . ⇢ [ couple pics ; chifuyu . ] ˎˊ˗ ꒰ ☕️ ꒱
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. . ⇢ [ other compatibles . ] ˎˊ˗ ꒰ ☕️ ꒱
.˚🌙 ༘┊͙ xiangling ;
She makes you try her dishes. It sometimes surprises you how unique her dishes could get but because it’s xiangling, it tastes good. (Maybe not the slime dish she makes but that’s ok) and even though she isn’t probably best at savoury dishes, she would make some sweet dishes for you because U like sweets!
She loves your caring and supportive nature because it just encourages her to make better dishes! She relies a lot on your support and vice versa, I feel like she is a great comforters so whenever you are feeling emotional or overwhelmed, she will cook your comfort dish/favourite food and comfort you (and guoba is by your side too!)
I feel like she is somewhat chatty as well. And it’s the kind of chatty that makes you want to join in with her. So chatting with her is always fun and you two could go for hours. However at the same time, she will get that you need some alone time. And all you need to do is tell her and she will understand!
.˚🌙 ༘┊͙ mitsuya takashi ;
He has two little sisters and more often often or not, one of them is gonna cry so I feel like he is an expert at comforting people. He knows what to say and what to do to make you feel better. I also feel like he is highly perceptive so even after just a few days, he would know your body language and go base off of that
He really enjoys hearing you play the ukulele. Sometimes when his sisters are there, you play the ukulele while his sisters sing. It’s so cuteeee. (You can bet that his sisters would request you to play something like baby shark LOL)
And when you are clumsy? And accidentally scrape your knee or elbow? Don’t worry, mitsuya now Carrie’s bandaids with him. He will try to catch you if he is present but the success rate isn’t always 100% that’s why he now carries bandaids with him (they’re probably ones with prints like hello kitty as well. And that’s because of his sister. They ADAMANTLY say “big sis DEFINITELY wants these so get these!” It’s probably because they want it LOL)
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. . . . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,, I’m really sorry for the length Anon. And I’m really sorry for the time it took 😣 but I really hope you like it! Please come again! P.S I HOPE UR TESTS GO WELL U CAN DO IT ANON I BELIEVE IN U 💯💕 ⌲˘͈ᵕ˘͈
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dottores · 3 years ago
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Hi Cat 👋! First off I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with such stressful school work on such short notice. As a student, I understand your predicament and wish you the best of luck and sending all the love and hugs and kisses your way 🥰🤗😘
I know you said if we wanted to interact it's best to go to your other blog, but since I want to gush about LDA I thought it'd be best to send my ask here so as to not distract you.
Sooooooo LDA chapter 4, tbh I feel like I have a lot to say (good things of course) and also nothing to say lol. It was a good chapter for some new context. I'm really curious about these deadly weapons since reader seems to have had quite the bad experience with them, and makes me wonder if that experience is the leading cause as to why reader cut contact with the boys for their safety. Poor Ran tho😔 he's so mad that he wants to hate you because he feels betrayed but can't bring himself to. I really enjoyed being able to get into Ran's head to better understand him and his feelings. Thank god for Koko tho for pointing out your warning (I'm assuming they're taking it as a deliberate warning and not a coincidence that you gave them helpful info, I hope anyway). Also hope that the brothers not realizing it was a warning is due to them being too caught up in their own feelings and not them being too stupid to see your warning. I'm thinking that this warning was why reader was "blocked" not necessarily blocked specifically but more like all of Bonten destroying their phones for safety reasons. Makes me really excited to see what the next interaction between reader and the brothers will be like since at this point reaching out thru tech isn't the safest option for either party. Also don't mind me and my stupid lizard brain just now realizing Mina meant Minami Terano and that he is your bodyguard, is it wrong of me to want this to be a point of contention between reader and the brothers since they don't have to best past with him lol? Nothing major just an argument between reader and the brothers, mostly due to them being jealous.
Sorry this is long I just wanted to throw my thoughts out there for this latest chapter since I don't have anyone to talk to about it 😢, let me know if you're ok with these long asks or not
Cat you did it again, not that I'm surprised tho you're an absolute genius, but the dialog is 💯on point this chapter, and the way you portray/express emotions is ✨mwah✨ perfection.
(if you're seeing this ask twice, its cuz tumblr messed up while I was almost done the first time and about to send it in so trying again just in case. Just ignore one of them, they basically say the same thing)
I AM ON MY KNEES CRYING AND SOBBING YOU JUST GAVE ME SO MUCH NEEDED SEROTONIN WITH THIS ASK OMG OF COURSE IM OKAY WITH IT THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING EVER IM SMILING N GIGGLING LIKE A LIL KID RN 😭😭😭
hehehehe i cant say much but you’re definitely onto something with the whole weapon situation and YES SOBS ran is so conflicted that poor baby and rindou is so angry cuz like he genuinely trusted us not abandon them and </3 :’) we did them so dirty they deserved better. YES the reason they didn’t recognize the warning because they were too caught up in being upset over it—they probably would have realized it had it been any other situation. hehehehehe i’m so excited to write the next meeting between reader n the haitanis it’s going to be… interesting to say the least LMAO. and PLEASE i was trying to like keep mina=south subtle but at the same time hint toward it LMAO i was trying to not make it too obvious in the first three chapters—and it will be ;) hehe, im actually excited to talk ab south n reader’s past im just tryna figure out when exactly i wanna do it, it’ll prob be in a few chapters
I HOPE YOU KNOW YOUVE GOT ME CRYING N GIGGLING IN THE DINING HALL RN YOU TOTALLY JUST BOOSTED MY MOOD BEFORE I GO BACK TO STUDYING ILYSM
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lecliss · 4 years ago
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Im in the absolute worst mood rn which gives me the ability to say this and not care about the aftermath. The reason UAF is the weakest series isn't because it's darker and edgier, it's because it fails at giving you a reason to care about the things that happen.
Like in Max Out, you're led to believe Max dies. This is season 1, like episode 6 I think. There's still so little we know about the DNAliens and the Highbreed. We don't fully know how Max got involved in the issue or what exactly his plan is. It's believed he died, next episode Gwen is a little down, Ben is pretty fine. It's at most probably been two weeks. Frank seems perfectly fine as well. In Grounded, Carl only talks in past tense about the weapons he didn't like Max having in the house. That's it. Later on we find out Max is alive and Ben's happy to see him and they catch up.
Where's the emotion? Where's the impact? In Secret of the Omnitrix, Ben thought Gwen died and he had a whole ordeal about it. Ben's emotions shown afterward were so good. There's the emotion and there's the impact. I have a reason to care.
Meanwhile in UAF, some things just happen for the sole purpose of being dramatic. How did Helen get in contact with Gwen prior to Voided other than just plot convenience to lead us to a reunion between Ben and Max? Im wondering that the whole episode and then I can't focus on what Im actually supposed to care about. There's no crying from Ben about reuniting. It's not dramatic in a good way. Its just 'oh hey grandpa's alive' and then goodbye.
UAF doesnt provide explanations or enough insight into reasons or the way characters are feelings or even give breathing room to process things before moving on to the next completely unrelated thing that happens. And I get its an episodic show with 23 or something minutes to try to get everything wrapped up in each episode so I get that probably has a hand in it, but that doesn't mean its something that can be overlooked and ignored anyway.
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satellite-trash · 5 years ago
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(kind of depressing) psychological analysis of jack atlas  --involving ramen.
So, if youve watched YGO 5Ds entirely (meaning the subbed version as the dub never finishes the ending season) you’d have picked up on Jack’s obsession with instant cup ramen, which would be fine for any character really but it seems out of character for the pompous, upper-class (wannabe), arrogant luxurious Jack Atlas aka THE KING. 
But actually it reveals a lot about him, and actually is really depressing...  There is a massive link between ramen and his lost childhood.
In season 1 we see NO sign of this obsession or even care for ramen. The  only thing he obsesses over to any degree is a) duelling Yusei to claim King b) saving Carly from the Dark Signers or arguably c) trying to figure out his own character as a king (after beaten by Yusei)
But, in Season 2 where he is (arguably...) “redeemed” from villain to teammate/rival, he gains a bit of comedic flare with his obsession with the cheap ramen cups. (and expensive posh coffee).  The coffee obsession suits him. But cheap instant ramen?
His obsession starts Episode 80, where Lazar/Yaeger steals Team 5Ds’ engine programme as well as a cup of ramen.  Jack’s reaction is... comedic?
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He’s more pissed at the fact his ramen was taken than the whole important, irreplaceable engine programme theft. Comedic. But his irritation at losing ramen continues in episodes 114-5, where again lazar/yager steals some ramen he wouldve bought and his reaction is...
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He is in total fear of just not having ramen.  In fact, he even hoards it - shown in episode 115 where he brings it out to give to lazar.
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This is the episode that makes all this comedy turn dark and really depressing.
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He reveals that the flavour of ramen reminds him of childhood at Martha’s, sharing it with Yusei, Crow, and the other orphans.   This means that his obsession is like a psychological association to childhood, like sensory association, like how many people can recognise and get nostalgic over smells and tastes without even knowing why.  Jack hoards and eats ramen defensively because he longs for childhood - whether its the relationship he had with friends or the carelessness of childhood, he misses it in comparison to adult life. I mean... who can blame him - theres a reason why so so so many conditions exist mentally that cause people to retract into childhood behaviours, like the whole AdultBaby lifestyle (wont get into it but the platonic side of it is a longing for childhood often lost) or where people continue hobbies such as certain toy collecting etc that they did as kids, OR that they longed to do as kids but just couldnt do for whatever reason/restriction.
he even wants recognition from Yusei for remembering that flavour/memory:
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This is why he makes no mention of this in Season 1. Jack S1 was all about the present -no future nor past. He hated his past in Satellite w Yusei etc, openly wanting to ignore it, perhaps guilty for stealing Yusei’s card etc or overall hating that limited and depressive situation.  (I have a headcanon Jack genuinely fell into a depression in Satellite and just acted to get out, but thats too deep for this current time lmao)
Because he didnt want ANY reminder of his past (hence hatred of Yusei, Crow, Kalin, and the entirety of Satellite, or “Satellite scum/trash” as he calls them in the dub), he doesnt want ramen. 
But, S2, he is reformed and has his old friends back, and even martha has accepted him back. So, he realises the error of his ways, and reclines into his lost and mentally more stable childhood. Through ramen. 
His childhood wasnt happier - satellite was at its worst, they were struggling, he had no freedom, in comparison to the S2 situation where he achieved duelling fame, has friends back, and satellite and Neo Domino are united (kinda)
BUT maybe he wants to go back and correct things? Or live a guilt-less and resent-less life again, not having done any wrong? I mean this is impossible to say, but clearly his ramen obsession, now being linked w childhood, means a longing to go back for some reason.
It’s clear he shows regret or sadness over childhood/lost childhood: the only time he cries in the show with tears are over memories from childhood with ramen; 
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His face is streaming with tears because of Lazar’s story about ramen and childhood which he related to. He is SO intensely emotional over ramen that it does come of as comedic, which is really strange for the rival character as serious/uptight as jack. I mean, could you imagine Kaiba ever acting like this over, idk, cereal? maybe one time he shared a bowl of cornflakes with mokuba and now he cries every morning eating his cereal because of those memories. idk.
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this is 115 when Sherry cuts the pile of ramen boxes out of impatience, Jack is IN HORROR of his prized collection being attacked like this. its like she’s cutting up his childhood memories or something. I mean, it basically is, apparently. 
... 
His comment to Crow summarises all this, 114. He has just screamed at Lazar for stealing “his” ramen (it was the old lady’s but ok jack) Crow asks him to calm down
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its right, he cant, no one can. Its something in his mind relating to his childhood, losing ramen or even being in a situation where his ramen might not be “his” safely, unsettles Jack. Ramen represents his childhood in some regard, and the anxiety of losing it causes him to become incredibly defensive and on edge.
-
im sorry for this random and kinda deep/depressing take on Jack. I know we should be thinking positive rn in the current global pandemic, but i just needed to get this analysis thing out there (more a rant actually) because it really struck me when S2 made jack have a weird “comedic” element about him, in his reformed state. It’s not so much comedic, but deep and suiting his character. His obsession over ramen is not just a gag to make him more like a good-guy now he is teammates with Crow and Yusei etc, but it develops his character and gives him reformation in a completely different sense -- it doesnt force his goodness out by just making him into a comedy-relief, but rather gives him emotional backing for his mistakes and wrongdoing in the previous season, and actusally makes it kind of depressing how he arrogantly tried to forget and destroy his past in Satellite with his friends. 
gimme any thoughts you have on this, if you made it this far through the rant (i applaud and love you if you did!!)
i thought of all this because in the current global situation, most people are limited inside and getting depressing, sometimes its better to mentally retract and go back to better times when this whole thing wasnt going on, and for Jack that was childhood.  Sorry for philosophical rant lol, at 1am in the morning for my part of the world~
 here is funny pic to say sorry and lighten the mood~
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(that chef has seen some dark things in his life... )
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peakatseven · 4 years ago
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MICHAAAA CONGRATULATIONS
🌕 broke a finger knocking on your bedroom door I got splinters in my knuckles crawling across the floor
andddd
🎸 haunted
this bitch really came for me asking for a story AND a cover of such a hard song to sing. okay thanks i guess.
nah im just kidding babe i had so much fun writing this! i feel like it’s the first time in years that i’m posting proper fanfiction? kind of? idk i was trying to find another name for the mc but i kept picturing frat boy harry so here we go:
Concentration is impossible when the silence is loud and the work is important. The worst part is when one starts thinking about the need of being concentrated, rather than the actual work that needs to be done. As a university student, Harry was no different than most: his anxiety about school and his future co-existed with the emotional backlash of relationships and the need to "experience the best years of your life". There were few people with whom he wouldn't worry about meeting some kind of expectation. But she had been silent with him for the better part of a year. Images of Caro kept coming back to him, a trauma he couldn't let go off. Granted, it was the one painful brake up he'd experienced, one that was never truly over. Even now, uncountable names in between him and her, he still couldn't get her blue eyes off of his mind. The thought of her porcelain skin over his sun-kissed body came to him every single one of his one-night-stands. And at that moment, sitting on his desk, trying to get his homework done, the memory of her laughter drowned every sentence he tried to compose. He forced everything out with a loud grunt, grabbing his head with both hands and pulling on his hair. "The results show that 73.3% of patients responded positively to the treatment." He voiced out loud, trying to silence Caro's laughter in his mind. "No, that's bullshit." After a few moments staring at the cursor beeping at the end of his last sentence, he finally shut the laptop down. On an impulse, he unlocked his phone and opened a conversation from three days prior. He should've answered it when he got the text, but he wasn't in the mood at the time. "Hey, babe, wanna go for a beer rn?" He wasn't even done changing when the phone buzzed on the table. Two happy emojis popped up, and then a "Meet you there in 10". He kept the speed up as he rode off campus, through a park and then into the city. He was glad for the chill air against his face, numbing it to the point where it was the only thing he was able to think about. Finally some peace of mind. It wasn't dark yet when he got to the bar, but the sun had already set behind the buildings. There was one single tree, barely taller than him but strong enough to hold his bike. As he secured it, a red leaf fell to his knee. It was autumn when he got to kiss Caro for the first time, and it was also autumn when he kissed her last. "Nope. Something else, think of something else." he thought to himself. Incapable of coming up with anything, he brought out a cigarette and inhaled deeply. Somewhere inside him, there was a bit of guilt about what he was trying to do. But it'd been so long since he started that it no longer bothered him. His new game was called Darren. The younger guy looked like a model, straight silver hair and pale skin that Harry couldn't wait to leave marks on. All he could think about when Darren was around was the things he wanted to do to him. It was purely sensual, and that was pretty clear from the start. Or at least that's what he told himself. That Darren was on the same page as him- no strings attached, just fun and games. But the way his phone had been buzzing ever since he got on the bike, there was clearly more interest from one side. But instead of doing the right thing, and not stringing him along, Harry was about to sleep with him again and leave with a lame excuse to not spend the night. And then it was back to emotionless texts, conversations on the verge of ghosting him just in case he'd be in the mood again. But it was okay, Darren was playing the same game. He had the same dynamic with a lot of people lately. None knew of each other. They didn't have to, and they didn't ask either. He was no monster, though. Harry would tell that to himself constantly. That because no one had explicitly asked for exclusivity, it was implied they weren't obliged to it. The only one who did, what was her name again? Odella... no, that's not right... Ornella, maybe? He laughed dryly at himself. He'd become one of those guys that didn't even remember the names of all of his
partners. But he was no dougebag, when Ornella asked to be exclusive, he straight up told her no and then never bothered her again. They weren't on the same page anymore, so no more games. He wondered if that would ever happen with Darren too. There was not much time to think about this, because he was soon greeting the guy with a half hug and a gentle kiss just beside his lips. "You smell nice." Darren said, hands in his pockets and scarf almost over his mouth. "You just like the smell of tabacco." Harry smirked and put the unfinished cigarette down. "Let's get in, you're freezing." The night went exactly how Harry planned it. All his jokes were welcomed by Darren, and he let the young boy win at pull- he was cute when he bragged about his skills. But the best feeling was whenever Harry would approach Darren. A stroke of the lower back, a smirk from the other side of the table, a kiss when no one was near... Darren accepted any and everything Harry was willing to give him. The power high that it gave him to have someone be so devoted to him was indescribable. But the night was fully set and he was growing impatient. "Let's get out of here." He whispered to Darren's ear right before his turn. Darren had already started pulling Harry's bike for him when the phone on his pocket buzzed again. Harry walked alongside his date, though his eyes were on his phone. He had a lost call that he hadn't noticed while inside. The number wasn't saved to his phone anymore, but he hadn't managed to erase it from his own memory yet. "Oh, shit." He whispered. "I... Sorry, man, I have to go. There's a- um, it's a family thing." Harry was on his bike before his date could answer. He didn't even look at Darren's eyes before leaving. There was a sting of guilt building up, and maybe he'd feel disgusted by himself if it wasn't for the sheer adrenaline running through his veins. Maybe the alcohol had a bit to do with it too. This had only happened a few times before, and the outcome was always the same. Still, Harry couldn't keep himself from falling to his knees when it came to her. As he rode his bike as fast as he could go, a cynical smile crept on his lips. How ironic. Darren was probably feeling the same way about Harry just a few hours prior. Whenever Caro was in town, she stayed at her best friend's apartment- all the way on the other side of the city. So it was past midnight already when he got to the building. There was a party on the roof, maybe they could sneak in for more drinks. She had some catching up to do, as Harry was already tipsy. Still, he didn't have to check the phone to know which floor to go to and which door to knock. Just like everything else about Caro, he had it indefinitely memorized. 409, the doorknocker was a silver seagull. A very heavy, silver seagull. At first, Harry didn't feel it when his finger got caught in between the door and the seagull, but by the third time he knocked, it started changing colour. "Hm." He said to himself as he examined the swollen-red finger. He put it in his mouth and kept on knocking to the beat of the music coming from above. Why did they have the music so loud? Harry could barely hear his own thoughts, so the neighbours had to be furious about this noise. Carolina was probably waiting for Harry, who was already late due to how far he was when she texted him. "Fuck!" He said, taking his phone out of his pocket again. He hadn't answered. Dumb ass. "im herre" He sent the text before reading the ones Caro had sent before. One was a laughing emoji and the other was a voice note. There were people laughing on the background, and someone turned the music down a bit for Caro to speak into her phone. "I'm so sorry, ignore that, it was a dare." She half said, half laughed. Harry didn't understand, so he played it again. Again. Again. And again one more time. Was she talking about the lost call? or was it about her being in town? Had he really fallen for such a stupid trap? Harry fell to the floor, phone glued to his ear as the voice note played over and over again. His chest was about to
explode, face red and throat dry. He knocked on the door again, now with his fist. The inevitable tear fell down his cheek, though it was impossible to know if it was sadness or anger that caused it. "Oh, god." Someone said behind him. But when he turned around, the stairs were empty and someone on hills was running up the stairs. He got up and ran after them, but he was too intoxicated to keep up. He fell halfway up the stairs, having to crawl for a few steps before getting up. On the rooftop, there were too many people in heels to know which one had seen him. "Great." He sight. Might as well look around. He walked around the place, inhaling the cold air of the night and trying to calm down, make sense of what had just happened. He was about to light up his last cigarette when someone took it from him. She had long purple nails and her skin glowed under the moonlight. She smirked as the cigarette reached her mouth. He lit it up for her. "I didn't think you'd actually come." She said. Her smirk turned into a sincere smile. "You told me to." "Yes, but I also said you should ignore that." "Well I didn't." He took the cigarette from her fingers and smoked himself before speaking again. "Should I go?" He wanted to seem as cool with the situation as she appeared to be, hide the fact that he had just been played like a puppet for a fucking drinking game dare. "What happened to you finger?" She shouted, stepping closer to him. "I- I don't remember." Harry lied. There was still a bit of dignity to be salvaged. And there it was, but this time it was real. Her laugh, once again, drowned every thought on his mind. There was no music and no people around them anymore, it was just him and her, together again, laughing in the middle of the night. "You know I meant to call you, right?" Caro said, a hand tenderly rubbing his arm. She knew exactly what she was doing, and he knew it too. "I'm sure you did." He said. "I did!" She pushed him a little, both cracking a knowing smile. "I promise I did, it's just that-" "Shut the fuck up." He felt more stable now that he'd taken some air and the alcohol effect had cooled down. "It's okay, Caro. Let's just have fun tonight and see what happens." "Sounds fun." She leaned in and kissed him on his cheek, the kiss lingering just a second too long. He instinctively put a hand on her hip, but she walked away swiftly after the kiss. The pain on his chest came back, and the little composure he had gained crumbled. She wasn't coming back to him. This time it was definitive, and it had been for a while now. But the worst realization that came to him that night, was how much power she had over him. How much hope, urge, love, anger and pain she could cause in just a matter of hours. She had him at her mercy, like a puppet she could toy with however she wanted. They were both the same kind of wicked, using others for validation, feasting on their adoration. But as much pain as it caused him to know he was at the other end of his own game, it also sparked joy to know he could provide that for her.
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