#but i did my best to stop myself before i sorta started spiraling and it worked for the most part

[hob1tual-remade]

,,

[rogue-durin-16]

LIFE-SAVING SHARPIE

Summary: Despite being a muggle, Y/n's mother was an expert in divination. She tried to teach Y/n, who saw it as a mere muggle game. But, oh, what a powerful weapon a muggle game can become in the hands of the right witch.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader

Genre: angst (w/ a good ending)

Tags:

Fred Weasley: @whiskeyn-rain @lumos-solemn

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog

Warnings: injuries, death(ish)

A/N: I'm not saying I'm incapable of writing an angsty ending for a Fred Weasley story, but I'd rather not do that, so here comes a stupid story that occurred to me this morning, enjoy <3

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

"Y/l/n!" I sighed. "Is it true?"

"Your mom is into divination?" George question made me throw my head back in desperation as both twins made their way through the Great Hall to meet me.

I knew that day would be a bumpy one the moment we entered in the Divination classroom. The fact that a muggleborn aced a new subject since class one was strange.

I knew I would have to give some explanation to my friends after. Ron was particularly shocked by the fact that my muggle mother had taught me —against my will, may I say— lots of Divination-related things. I knew Ron, being Ron, would surely tell every soul that would listen about his discovery, but I had hoped for him to wait until the third period at least.

"Secrets spread like wildfire here." I said.

"Are you secretly a soothsayer?"

"Yes, Fred. You see, I have the Sight." I ironically stated, and, seeing this as a perfect opportunity to get closer to the boy I fancied, I added "Want me to read your palm?"

They shared an amused look, fully aware that I was joking. Even in the Wizarding World, divination wasn't something to believe in.

There were supposed to be people able to see the future, such as professor Trelawney, but no student had seen her predict a thing, so she wasn't the best example.

George was the first one to sit down. "Predict my future, oh, you who were gifted with the Sight." I snorted as he laid his palm before my eyes.

I picked his hand on mines, "Hmm..." Fred hovering over my form from behind wasn't ideal for me to concentrate. "Okay so..." I felt one of his hands toying with the clasp of my necklace, brushing my nape. "Will you stop touching my necklace and sit down?" I demanded.

"Yeah Fred, sit down." George reprimanded his brother. "She's trying to see my future." I heard Fred chuntering before he plopped down on my other side, leaning on a tad too close for my liking. "Alright, fortuneteller, is there a love line?"

Of course he would ask about that. "Let's see..." I traced said line, unable to remember to the T what my mom had tried to teach me. "So, the heart line is arched... Which means..."

"That you can't tell a thing?" I slapped Fred's arm.

"Which means he's balanced." I corrected him. "You're able to realize when you need to take care of yourself, and when you should let a someone in." George seemed invested. "You'll have just one serious partner, but they'll be the right one."

"Well, that doesn't sound half bad, huh?" He looked at me with a content smile.

"My turn." Fred spoke, smacking his brother's hand away and replacing it with his left one. "The line of life or whatever." He scooted a bit closer and I felt my heartbeat pick up. "What's my fate?"

"Are you left-handed, Fred?" I questioned with an eyebrow raised, already knowing the answer. "I need your dominant hand." Oh well, that came out wrong.

"Straightforward, are we?" George snorted at his brother's remark as he exchanged hands, turning to straddle the bench to be more comfortable. "Alright, what do you see?" He had leaned on to the point where he only needed to tilt his head down a couple of inches to rest it on my shoulder.

"A hand." I deadpanned, which earned a playful push from him. "Okay, okay— I see..." A puzzled frown took over my gaze. "Wait—" I turned to George. "gimme your hand."

"What?" Fred questioned, shifting his position ever so slightly.

"Uhm..." The frown grew bigger, and I had to remind myself what I was doing was a joke. "You... don't have a lifeline?" I dubiously informed. "I mean— it sorta... Starts? but then it fades away." I widened my eyes and froze, remembering what that meant.

I saw Fred tilting his head slightly. "Is it so bad that you won't tell me what it means?" He asked jokingly in order to lighten my distraught mood.

"It— well, it means that you'll die at a young age." My eyes met his and, despite the amused smile that always danced on his lips, fear slipped out of his orbs now, too.

"Wait what?" George propped himself on his forearms to see his brother's palm. "Can't be. Check mine?"

"I just did, you git." George wasn't even smiling. Maybe he did believe it. "Yours is fine."

The three of us stayed in silence for an instant. Even if none of us believed in divination, the fact that Fred had no lifeline was rather unsettling.

"It's fine." I cleared my throat, turning to my bag and leaving Fred's hand over the table on the process. "Apart from seeing the future, I can fix lifelines." They looked at each other when they saw me grab a sharpie. "Don't move." I demanded, holding down Fred's right hand before tracing a black line where the lifeline was supposed to be. "There. A long, healthy life."

When I looked back at the twins' faces, I saw them ready to laugh. Distress had already left them, and that helped my own evaporate.

"Merlin, Y/n!" Fred dramatically exclaimed. "You've just saved my life!"

"She sure did." George agreed, patting my back.

"Now go and tell Ron to shut up." I didn't want to imagine what would happen if people started to believe I could actually predict their future; the twins were sceptic and even they had somehow fallen for it.

I was so focused on George getting up that I didn't even notice Fred's hand flipping and wrapping around mine.

A soft kiss was placed on my cheek and I felt my face heating up even before meeting Fred's proud grin. "Figured I'd give my savior something in repay." His eyes seemed to flicker to my lips for a second; it's just my imagination, I thought, unaware of Fred's thumb caressing the back of my hand until he removed it in order to stand up.

Four Years Later

FRED'S P. O. V.

One second I was laughing at Percy's joke, and the next one everything was black; not only visually, everything was pitch black in every fucking sense.

I heard nothing, I couldn't touch anything, my voice was gone.

My mind was completely blank, until a thought slipped in my brain: 'you'll die at a young age'.

My head was spiralling now. I was dead. That's what death felt like? Nothing?

Y/n's words kept going on and on, frying my brain. How ironic it was that the voice I would have forever in my mind belonged to the girl I had been in love with since I was fourteen, and the words were what we thought to be her silly prediction.

I had no idea how long it had been, but suddenly I felt it; a tear running down my cheek. A flaming hot tear, burning its way off my face. Then I felt something else, some sort of rope wrapping tight around my right hand and wrist, so tight that it made my pulse speed up.

My pulse.

It dawned on me that my heart was beating fast against my chest. It was beating.

I needed to breathe.

"FRED!" Someone forced my eyes open; It was Percy. I couldn't see him right away because the lights were blinding to my eyes, but I recognised his voice. "FRED SAY SOMETHING!"

"Y/n..." I couldn't hear my own voice, but I felt her name going through my vocal cords.

"HE'S ALIVE!" Ron cried. "you're alive-" my sight was blurry but I could pick out my younger brother's crown in front of me as he sobbed over my chest.

"We gotta get him out of here right now!!" Of course it was Hermione who got everyone moving. As both my brothers managed to pick me up, I felt my eyes closing once more. Not even the fear of not waking up again stopped me from passing out.

READER'S P. O. V.

I had volunteered as Healer to help Madam Pomfrey during the Battle, that's why it was me who received two Weasleys practically dragging a third one into the improvised infirmary.

I recognised him from his jacket. "Fred..." At first I thought it was his corpse, that's how bad he looked.

"Y/N!!" It was only when Fred seemed to tilt his head up due to Ron's cry that I reacted, rushing to help them. "Keep him alive!" I only nodded, taking Ron's place as he took off.

With one of his arms over my shoulders and the other over his brother's, we managed to carry him to one of the stretchers; his painful weak groans went directly into my ear as we moved him, triggering the tears I was holding to fall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

FRED'S P. O. V.

"—alive, somehow." Y/n's voice, though it sounded far away, let me know she was close. "No, don't wake him up."

"Listen, you gotta get him to St. Mungo." It seemed George the one talking, but his voice was too shaky to tell. "in an hour this is gonna get really ugly, I want him out."

"George, we're besieged." Her tone was hopeless.

"Look at him, You said it— It's a bloody miracle he's still breathing." my brother's voice shattered; all I wanted was to get up, hug him and say I was okay, but I felt my brain spinning once more. "Bill and I will escort you out of the castle so..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next time I opened my eyes, terror inundated me; everything was dark again. I gasped for air and propped myself up, instantly regretting it. A stabbing pain attacked every part of my body, triggering a shocked cry out of me.

"What are you doing?!" Y/n whisper-shouted, before placing both her hands over my chest to push me back to the bed again. "Are you mental?" Her fingertips moved out of the way a bandage that covered my eyes. "Oi, listen," when she noticed my shaky hands desperately trying to reach my face, she took them in hers. "You're safe."

I tried to say something —anything—, but my throat was sore, and the only thing that was able to leave it was her name.

"Shhh." She hushed me, letting one of her hands travel to my face. "You have to rest." I would have sworn she was crying, but I couldn't tell. "Everything'll get better." Her thumb stroking my cheek was the most soothing thing I had ever felt, so it wasn't difficult for me to close my eyes, this time willingly, though I was equally scared. "I'll stay by your side." The reassuring squeeze her hand gave me, made me aware that she had noticed my fear.

Before drifting off, I felt Y/n's lips placing a chaste kiss on my forehead, making my heart hammer against my chest.

I was still alive.

A Month Later

READER'S P. O. V.

It was Ron who sent me an owl the moment Fred finally got out of the hospital. He informed me that, instead of going to the Burrow to rest a few days—as planned—, ha had gone straight to the shop.

That's how I found myself the next morning inside Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, which was not-so-surprisingly full of people again.

Due to the huge amount of customers, it was relatively difficult for me to spot the twins.

Apparently, I turned out to be easy to spot.

"Y/n!" I turned in the stairs' direction to be met with a very enthusiastic George who, before I could even greet him, engulfed me in a hug.

"I see you can't catch a break." I observed, pulling away with a big smile on my face. That place really made the trick to bring joy to everyone.

"You can't imagine." He replied, his gaze wandering around before pulling my hand. "Oi, Fred! Look who dropped by!" He shouted over the hubbub, leading me to the till counter, behind which I saw the reason why I had come in the first place.

Just as Fred's eyes noticed me, he attempted to rush out of the till. I left George's side as soon as I realized that he, in fact, couldn't really rush out.

"Merlin's beard!" Despite he had just had to grip the counter in order not to fall, he tried again. "Take it easy, will you?" I scolded him, steadying him by his forearms and helping him step back to rest against the till. "Do you want to go back to the hospital?"

"If you're the one taking care of me, I wouldn't complain." The first time his eyes fell on my lips, I missed it because I was still securing him. The second time it was impossible to miss. "You know? Your sharpie saved my life."

I snorted at his nonsensical words. "You're delirious, Weasley." My hands finally left his forearms, just to be picked up on his. "Still suffering from the concussion?" I joked, trying to deviate my own attention from my fast heartbeat.

Another glance at my lips.

"I should get going." George spoke behind me.

"I was going to visit you tomorrow." Fred stated, his gaze now focused on my eyes.

"Sorry to break it to you, love," I pointed out, motioning at him with our hands still held. "But you can barely walk."

"Yeah, but I needed to see you." He looked somehow sheepish; I doubted I had ever seen him like that before. "I'm gonna be as clear and concise as possible—" He cleared his throat and forced himself to look at me. "I'm pretty much in love with you." I didn't know my eye could go as wide as they went. "Thing's I've known for a good couple of years now." He shrugged. "Telling you scared me, but then this happened." He gestured at himself. "And now not being able to tell you scares me even more." His eyes scanned me before looking around. "This wasn't the ideal place to tell you, but I didn't want to wait any longer."

I gulped, trying to process it as fast as possible.

"For Godric's sake, Y/n," he gently tugged my hand. "Say something, please." Fear started to take over him, even if he tried to keep it at bay. "It's alright if you don't feel the same, we can still be friends, I promise—"

"How do I kiss you without hurting you?" I questioned, already feeling the heat on my cheeks.

I could tell by his face that, out of everything I could have said, he was not expecting the answer I had given him. "Ever the caring one." He let go of my hands to cup my cheeks. "Just kiss me," he sounded so happy, it was contagious. "I'll deal with the pain later."

I listened to him and, holding onto his blazer, stood on my tiptoes and crashed my lips against his— only because I had been wanting to kiss him for too fucking long.

I got lost in the kiss and my brain completely dismissed that an entire wall had collapsed over the boy before me just a month ago; my hands went up to his neck, pulling him closer and, consequently, earning a painful groan from him.

"Shit! sorry." I was quick to let go, suddenly very aware of our surroundings, too.

He just shook his head and pulled my back to him, this time by my hips. "I said I'll deal with it later." He spoke against my lips before going in for a second kiss.

I was more gentle now, careful not to cause him too much pain.

To our dismay, we were interrupted.

"You said love confession!" George snapped us out of it; this time the groan Fred let out was from annoyance. "not snogging session in front of our customers! Get to work!"

He huffed, unwillingly separating from me. "If you stick around until lunch time, we can resume this."

I pretended to think about it. "I guess I can find something to do until then." My smile was as wide as his, and it grew wider when he pulled my into a hug, placing a kiss on the crown of my head. "I love you too, by the way."

His laugh reverberated on his chest. "Good to know."

"Freddie! Now!" This time it was me who groaned at George's demands.

"Help me out, love." Fred requested, pulling away from me so I could help him move behind the till counter. "See you in a couple of hours?" I nodded, pecking his cheeks and walking away from the shop.

It was when I started to walk down the Diagon Alley that it clicked.

His lifeline.

The sharpie.

"OH MY FUCK—"

[vannyvancan]

"mr assassin" Roommate!Shinsou Hitoshi X F!Reader Part 2

Part 2 of your Roommate/Assassin!Shinsou is here! First of all I wanna thank y'all for liking the first part so much! In this part we go deeper in darker theme of it, so just a fair warning.

my masterlist. Hope you have a great day and happy reading!

Tw for : Assassin!Shinsou theme, female reader,  gun usage, slight insecurity, NSFW for the most part on the later chapters, drug usage, corrupt government talk, harrasment

Day five of living with your new roommate. He hadn't shown much of an interest in harming you...

That was swell.

You huffed out a breath of relaxation when the realization hit, but not also that, things weren't as bad as you expected! The thought you'd get a nasty roommate who would leave much more bigger mess than you was on the mind... but he seems to be the one who cleans as well? A welcome surprise indeed.

Shinsou was an enigma, waking up early at five am, neatly sorting his clothing and coming back late at 11 pm, he didn't seem restless, which could only mean he probably has a second accommodation where he rests and eats as well. It also explains why he only had one bag with him which you had decency and never saw what was inside. Besides...

He had given you a glare yesterday when you stared at it for long with those white pupils of his.

Even though he was soft spoken, he always managed to find a way to poke fun at you before he left. Granted, you were quiet surprised when he made you a french toast every morning! He barely knows you, but you were grateful to have found a roommate that in one way or another showed his gratitude. Afterwards, you felt obligation to one up him and return the favour. Now dragging your dear friend out, you giggled at the phone text from Uraraka as she immediately started spewing jokes about your potential 'future' with him.

„What an idiot.“ You grinned to yourself, walking down the street to the meeting place, you were about to go shopping with her, you still had to supply yourself with comfortable winter clothing.

„Y/N!“ Uraraka's voice reached your ears.

„Hey! Long time no see!“

„Very long time indeed!“

Uraraka rushed her step to give you the biggest hug there was. She was the sweetest friend and was always there for you no matter the circumstances. Now both of you dragging yourselves in the clothing store

„You just got off from work right? How was it?“ She asked, looking at time, it was now 5 pm.

„Tiring, its even worse because they fired colleagues before summer so now all of us have extra hour of work.“

„Oh no. But at least you will be rewarded more no? More hours equal more pay.“

„Nope, it's the same job in the end, they just extended work time.“ Frowning at the work contract on the mind, it was a very high chance it will drastically change soon as well.

„It's very... bad.“ You nervously laughed as you walked together.

„One time they fired someone from storage, only to replace them with boss's relative. By law its forbidden, but they made up a name for the new position that does the same job in storage. So it seems valid, but its not.“

„Ah... it happened here as well, but uhm.“ Uraraka started

„Hmm?“

„There's been some disappearances from our parent company, we are having a bit of a rescheduling on our own as well.“ Uraraka nervously chuckled and scratched the back of her head, it was quiet obvious there's been some action going on on her end as well.

„But enough about that, how's Shinsou~?“ She teasingly leaned in and poked her pink cheek.

Your mind shifted to the now roommate, the intimidating figure had you stuttering for a second. Obviously, Uraraka shouldn't of hung out with Mina so often back in college days, because it was so obvious she wanted to pull out some flustering on your end as well. Her curiosity especially hit the peak since she heard your voice hit higher notes when talking about him.

„I-I.. U-um. Okay, fuck! I can't!“ Both of the palms now covered your face to hide the embarrassment.

„Ahah! Is he that hot? You didn't react like that for so long!“

„Shut up!“ You huff out „It's enough that he made a toast for me yesterday, now I don't know how to return the favor. I want to get close to him, but he's unapproachable.“

The brunette put a finger on her lower lip in deep thought.

„Maybe if he's so busy, you can make him little lunches in a box, since he's so busy.“

„Uraraka, that's so childish.“

„It's not! You have to show him your soft side! Poke around, maybe he likes it.“

„My soft side?“

Grimacing as she advised, you were afraid of getting your feelings hurt. Now hesitantly picking up shirts and pants from the shopping stand, you managed to pick decent clothing for the upcoming winter before the prices skyrocket, it was expensive already but you managed to find something cheap. Your eyes trailed to find a plain white scarf, it was really nice quality, and rather cheap, but the sudden thoughts redirected to Shinsou as fingers tried out the material.

Maybe its not a bad idea to try and open up, you'll try but there should be equal effort on his end as well. Now snatching the scarf from the stand, you both bought your things and left the store, suddenly being nudged on the shoulder by the pink cheeked individual, you let out a relieved laughter while walking home for today.

...

„No, no! Please, Spare me!“

„I'm afraid job's a job.“

„No, please! My wife-!“

-SNAP-

„... Operation successful, returning to the main area. Prepare for body disposal.“

„Roger that Mindjack.“

On the broad daylight, Shinsou had eliminated yet another target for today, this time it was a business man whose life spiraled down in gambling addiction, the man who had hired him said he owned too much and knew too much to be kept alive.

Drugs and gambling went hand in hand, it was no different that the client probably had some shady stuff going on on their end as well. Shinsou had to keep his eye open on this one as well.

„Dispatched him quickly?“ Shoto came by side to Shinsou while adjusting dark gloves on.

„Yeah.“

„Good. Let me help you up.“

Several moments later, a truck came by to pick the dead body up, Kirishima's disguise as a trash driver made both of them cringe for a moment, but quickly brushed it off as Shoto and Shinsou threw it away. The cleanup crew should get rid of their traces now, all he has to do is get away as fast as possible from here. Shoto and Shinsou entered in the truck and drove in silence.

„You blocked the spot quiet nicely Shoto! Made a nice clearing for Shinsou to execute.“ Kirishima praised

„I merely blocked the parking lot. I don't see it being worth a mention.“

„Man, but missions like these always for newbies rely on stalking and timing. And this was perfect.“

„Nothing is perfect in this line of business.“ Shinsou ripped off his gloves and cracked his own neck to relieve tension. „Karma will hit you back hard if you don't know what you are doing.“

„Yeah yeah, it isn't very manly if you're in it just for cash, I mean... I'm rooting for justice and y'all, don't go thinking I am blind to what you guys are doing.“

Shoto and Shinsou fell silent. It was hard to swallow the truth, the car ride to the safe house wasn't long, soon Kirishima hit the brakes and came to a stop to the small abandoned storage house on the outskirts of the city. Shoto jumped out to take care of the body while Shinsou assisted with it, after they were done, Kirishima checked the contract for the job well done and handed the payment. A block of dollar bills now in their hands, the digital transfer of money would raise eyebrows in eyes of banks, so the money transfer was best if it was physical.

„Here you go boys! Boss says that the next contract is gonna be handed out tomorrow, you are free for the rest of the evening.“

„Tomorrow already?�� Shinsou asks.

„Yeah, what did you mean with that question?“

„I was thinking of looking into the client of the previous contract. Do some research and possibly eliminating him.“

Kirishima clicked with his tongue while Shoto huffed out and fiddled with the block of money in his hands.

„Sorry man. Solo contracts wont get you money, and gateways like us wont help you since we put too much at stake. You are on your own if you are gonna kill someone who is off the list.“ Kirishima explained

„Why would you even do it?“ Shoto asked, „Its not like the guy did you anything bad.“

Before Shinsou could answer Kirishima pat his back two times before turning on his heel to store his equipment away and head home himself for today.

„Mindjack has always been like that, even before you started working with. He sorta goes off on his own at times, seeking who needs killin' and who doesn't. That's why we hired you Shoto.“

„Can't blame me for doing what I think its right.“ Shinsou lowered his head, „All I need is time, That's why I was taken aback when a new contract was announced for tomorrow.“

„Alright alright, Mr. Assassin. You'll get your time. Someday. For now, this handsome manly man is going to go home for tonight! I'm going to get myself some hot bath.“

„See you Red. I'll be going too, Goodnight Mindjack.“

The departure was short, Shinsou took his bag and changed clothes before heading back, the bad smell could of easily rub off on him and he didn't want you to start speculating things. Even though he mostly ends his victim's lives in a way where no blood can be shed, it was a close call when she started eyeing the bag yesterday. He hated it, but he had already planned out way's to kill the roommate he was living with for any situation if she found out his true work.

'I don't need any of you to help me in my solo hunt.' He thought to himself, putting his black leather jacket on and helmet, he checked out his surroundings before revving up his bike and driving away.

The evening was busy as people were going back from work, it was 6 pm after all and he was stressing out on the fact that he will have to see his roommate. Maybe he could take a spin? Or start investigating on his own, but he didn't have time, he needed it. Rumbling of the bike eased tension he had from the committed crime, but only barely. As he came to a red light he slowed down and realized he was shaking badly, he knew it was not only from the setting sun and chilling air slowly creeping in, but also of stress. The realization that he might get caught always hit him harder after it settled in his mind. He inhaled deeply and eyed the nearby passengers. His eyes land on a woman in distance he never thought he would run into.

It was you, and you have been on your way to the flat with things you've gotten. The fact you saved up on the flat made you relax and indulge in the little shopping spree with Uraraka and groceries. You smiled from ear to ear nevertheless the tiredness creeping on you from the day.

„Mm...“ You sighed and rolled your shoulders.

„Maybe I'll make the thing she told me.“

You honestly looked like a happy child after realizing now that you have a roommate who pays for half of the expenses, you have extra cash to buy for things and make food at home. It wasn't a big deal to go out and buy something since it was cheap to buy a box of instant meal, but you wanted to cook your own food for a long time now. As you looked in the grocery bag and already beginning to think of the recipe you'd think for it, you suddenly bumped onto a stranger who didn't quiet follow his surroundings either. The harsh impact almost made you fall behind flat on your backside, but you managed to find balance. 'How rude-!' you thought.

„Ah-! S-sorry! I didn't mean to bump into you sir-„

„Watch where you are stepping wench-! I swear, women like you need to fucking know their place and stay at home.“

Excuse me?

Since when did this idiot have any right to find you to get his frustrations out?

You frowned at his sentence, knowing better not to engage with a random incel on the streets at evening hours, whose breath reeked of beer and bad hygiene, you decided to clutch your bags and pass by him hurriedly.

„Don't fucking ignore me!“

„Hey! Let me go!“

The man captures your wrist harshly and doesn't let go, now pulling you towards himself, he makes your belongings and your body stumble forward. His other hand wrap around your waist and starts dragging you along with him. Trying to shake yourself away only resulted in him recapturing you. He started laughing and you only now realize he quiet probably meant to bump into you.

He was trying to kidnap you-

„I said you are a bitch! Now you'll know your place-!“

„Let me go!“

Closing your eyes, the strong grip bruised your wrist and you yelped in pain, Your eyes veiled with tears as his disgusting sweaty hands found their way on your thighs to try and attempt to carry you, but the hold that was on you was suddenly broken free and a strong impact of a punch made the man fall flat on the ground. You were quiet sure you heard something broke as well.

„Agh! Son of a-!“

The adrenaline spiked in your veins and you immediately snapped out of it to see what was going on. Another hand rested on you almost protectively, you raised head to see a dark dressed figure that was very familiar. You were quiet shocked to find Shinsou held you close to his chest, wasn't he supposed to work until very late? You hear his quickened heartbeat and deep breathing as he gazed into the eyes of an attacker. Clutching onto him, you immediately felt more sorry for the drunken individual that had attacked you. Hooded eyes with dark eye bags were visible with blood rush, he stared down at his victim like a prey.

„I honestly can't believe how uncool you are, attacking a woman.“ He tilted his head on the side „Piss off before I do anything worse.“

The drunkard scrambled to his feet, he held onto his nose, groaning in pain inflicted by just his one punch.

„You fucker-! You broke my fucking nose!“

He charged again at Shinsou and you. This time, Shinsou quickly dispatched him by a high kick in his stomach, stealing all the air from his lungs. He hunched over and fell flat face forward, deeming him now unconscious. Your mouth went agape at his form, even though there were no visible passerby's, the drivers could certainly call police and at any moment and both of you would get caught.

„Shinsou!“ You panicked, finally reacting at the scene.

„Come on, lets get the hell out from here. He's bad news.“ He pat your shoulders and helped you scramble the bags that were on the ground.

He led you to climb on his bike that you were quiet hesitant to get on at first, he didn't let you get acquainted as the time was limited and you let out a noise of protest at first.

„We have no time, grab onto me.“ He revved up his bike and it rumbled.

„You just gonna escape like that!?“ You asked „What gives he's not gonna blame it on us? The police-“

„Police is not going to do shit.“ He glared at you „Unless you want to call them right now and deal with this sort of mess on Thursday evening, be my guest.“

You whined again, thinking thoroughly on his words you knew he was right so you followed his orders. If anything Shinsou was a witness if both of you ever end up getting caught. Holding onto the bags in your hand, you decided it was a better option to leave. Now climbing on you adjusted yourself in back of seat, the view in front of you were of his back, now starting to get illuminated by the street lights. He smelled nice, despite it being closed off by the leather jacket, his vibrant purple hair was flattened by the helmet, and you couldn't shake off the thought that you were about to hold him. You let your left hand slip around his stomach while your right one grips his shoulder.

Fuck, he was solid.

The gas made you back up a bit and grip on him tighter as he violently sped forwards to escape the scene. You hid your face in his back and held onto dear life. You weren't acquainted with bike's, most of your life was spent driving in cars and public transport, but you were quiet thankful to have him tell you when to lean on sides as you took turns.

„Just like riding a bicycle“ He claimed.

You relaxed after he talked more about it, there was something about him being calm in this situation made you very thankful. If he hadn't shown up...

Well, you wouldn't like to think about it.

He slowed down and stopped as the lights turned orange, then red, he took this opportunity to check on you. Shinsou leaned back and turned to you.

„You okay?“

„Y-yeah, still a bit shaken up about it. I... think I'll be fine. What about you?“

„I'm good.“ He replied shortly, his curt expression not giving anything else away.

In his mind, there wasn't anything he could do to help, the thought of comforting a victim was very alien to him. He could manage dispatching the person quickly, but he would rather much leave a therapy session to others. There was something about how he emotionally closed off himself that helped him do what he was working for, but it was never in favor when someone needed emotional support, like you right now.

His thought process was interrupted by a white scarf now gently falling around his neck.

„Your facial expression doesn't quiet match your body language Mr. Shinsou. Here, have this, your body is shaking.“

„What is this?“ He asked, tenderly reaching for the soft white fabric and letting the warmth of it settle around his neck.

„Its a scarf... I was planning on giving it to you. You are a good roommate to me.“

His eyes lit up at the realization, his knee was thumping up and down in nervousness from what he had been overthinking about, whats wrong with this woman? Is she going to be the one giving him the therapy session? He better not go soft now. The light turned green and you took a last turn to your place and he parked nearby. Both of you got off and he helped you by giving you a hand and with the bags.

„You didn't have to.“

„That's not true, I had to! I know work's probably putting a lot of strain on you just like mine is, and I know you mean only well, hell, you've been cooking an extra toast just for me.. and now you saved me.“

Both of you came to a stop as you entered the building. You sighed a little bit as words of gratitude escaped you

„And I just want to say.. Thank you."

Wide eyed like a kitten, he seemed so innocent if he didn't act so suspicions all the time. But this time you were so happy on seeing your roommate warming up to you. He was speechless for a solid second, he raised the scarf just a little bit to hide his mouth and nose.

Was he blushing?

"You really think that huh?" He asks, it was a simple question, but it got you stuttering madly and you looked onward, taking big steps as suddenly your flat was the lifeline of a place to be in right now. Shinsou himself didn't want to admit it but looking at you being cheerful after the events set his mind at ease.

"O-of course! A-and don't think that that you are ever a bad person, whoever is telling you bad things at work... They are wrong, because you are actually a really nice person... I think." You said without looking back.

„Now you are just sprouting nonsense.“ He chuckled and followed closely behind.

„Come on! I'm gonna cook us dinner. We are gonna feast.“

[emiefaunwrites]

I have a rather strange request/challenge(?). using whichever ship you deem most appropriate, could you write a little snippet based on the things that come to mind as you listen to i can't change it all by lucy rose? if not, that's totally cool!! thank you for reading!!

Well. I’ve not had a challenge like this before and I have to say - I stopped everything I did to check that song out. And it took me a good hour or so to decide on what feelings I wanted to go with.

The initial thing was a breakup, but it felt too simple. And I couldn’t get some of the lyrics to match with what I was imagining. And then I flickered between is it Ishileon or is it Ishimondo (with a brief moment of thinking maybe it’s my Broken Arrow Ishi instead) but then I finally settled on this.

Can I just say, whoever you are anon, my heart is well and truly hurting and I kinda sorta made myself tear up. Soooooo sorry if it’s super sad. BUT you asked what I thought based on the song and this is what I got.

Was meant to be a ‘little snippet’. Have 1.1K words. Typical me.

Thanks so much for this ask! I had a lot of...fun??...writing this and think this is a really cool way to write. If anyone wants to do this again, please let me know a song and I’ll do my best!

Please read the tags for trigger warnings.

“I’m here to say goodbye.”

The rustling of leaves in the whistling breeze is the only sound after he’s gotten those words off of his chest. Words that have been building for months and months. Words that he’s spent night after night contemplating. Words that he honestly never thought he would say to the boy in front of him.

But he has to. It’s time. It’s been time for far too long.

“I can’t…I can’t keep doing this.”

He could. He knows he could if he really wanted to. And a part of him does want to; a part of him wants to hold on tight and never let go. But there’s an even bigger part of him that doesn’t because it’s just not fair on anyone if he does. Not on him, the boy opposite him, or…

“There’s someone else.”

It’s no secret. He’s always been a terrible liar after all. They both know that there’s been someone else in the picture for a while now. And yet they skirted around the issue, kept up this silly game because they were scared of dealing with the truth.

And now here it is. Out in the open, no more dancing around the problem. He’s finally going to deal with this head on and deal with whatever comes next.

He lifts his eyes from the ground, seeing the boy he loves staring back at him. He’s always been so beautiful, always had this aura that captivates whoever he’s around, always had a smile that feels like it takes his breath away. And today is no exception; he’s still smiling that smile even though his heart is breaking.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“What d’you want me to say?”

“Something. Anything. I don’t really know.”

He thinks he can hear a soft hum, a gentle intake of breath, but it’s easily confused with the wind that whips around them. Trapping them both in this bubble of sorrow and regret and heartache. He can see the fire in his lover’s eyes, burning just as bright as they’ve ever done. And he knows that the spark still burns within his own heart and isn’t sure if it will ever stop burning.

“I love you.”

Three words. That’s all it’s ever taken to rock his world; shake it up and turn it upside down. All those years ago, when love was all that mattered, he could fall asleep to them as they were whispered along his skin in touches so delicate. But those touches have been missing for so long, this feeling lost with time as things just spiralled out of control.

��It’s okay if you don’t anymore.”

“I do.”

Because it’s true. He does love him. He will never stop loving him. But love just isn’t enough anymore. Not this love. This love has changed, changed from pure to obsessive. And obsession is no way to live; it chokes and slaughters, rips and shreds, blinds and deafens to anything else good in the world.

But he hasn’t forgotten what it felt like before. Back in the days when it was good. The stolen kisses, the racing hearts, the butterflies and the giggles. He remembers them all vividly, longingly, desperately. If only they could go back to those days.

“But you love him.”

He does. The love that he once felt has broken through once again, gasping for breath after years of drowning. It’s intense and it’s electrifying and it’s raw and it’s beautiful. It’s everything that he’s needed for so long, everything he’s so frightened of feeling.

Because this love is not for the boy in front of him. It’s for someone new.

“I do.”

“Good. I’m glad you see that now.”

He nods, trying to blink away the tears that flood, trying to dislodge the lump that’s digging into his throat. He knew this would be hard. He knew this would hurt. And some selfish part of him hoped that he would be met with anger because anger is something that he can understand.

But this understanding, this acceptance of the end, this is awful. It turns his stomach and burns his lungs; the nasty habit of familiarity screaming at him to take it all back. To keep living in the hollow shell that he’s become.

“Why does this hurt so much?” he chokes, barely able to form the sentence.

“Because it’s right.”

“I wish it wasn’t.”

“Me too.”

It’s coming to the end now. The time where he needs to turn around and walk away. Move on from the boy that’s held his heart captive for so long. Learn to live again. Learn to be free. Because this boy can’t help him anymore.

“I love you.”

“I know.”

“I’ll never forget you.”

“I know.”

He steps forward, closing the distance between them. And for just a second, they’re teenagers again. Falling in love slowly, sweetly, a lifetime of happiness ahead of them. As he looks into his eyes for the last time, as the love that radiates from them washes over him, he can’t help but smile as his eyes slide shut. His fingers lift, hovering oh so close to his cheek, wondering if he should dare let himself fall again…

“Taka?”

Mondo’s voice breaks the spell and his eyes fly open with a gasp. The boy in front of him has gone, vanished into thin air. His hand hovers over nothing so instead it drops heavily onto the smooth marble surface below. His lungs stutter as tears overtake him, his final farewell snatched away just as cruelly as it was five years ago.

“Babe.”

Taka looks up to see Mondo, stood beside him with a sad smile. He is so in love with him, hopelessly and passionately. Mondo’s a good man, the best man, and he deserves the world. Taka has never felt like he could give it to him. Not while he’s still haunted by a lost love.

“It hurts.”

“Yeah.”

“I miss him.”

Mondo’s hand brushes against his cheek, cups his jaw the way that only his hands have been able to do. His eyes burn with a fire; one so similar to the one of his past and yet different. And Taka realises that breathing feels just that little bit easier now that he’s here.

“I’ll be here, okay? When missin’ him stops ya from breathin’. When ya see his face in yer dreams. When ya hear his voice in the crowd. There’ll be bad days and there’ll be worse days. An’ we’ll take each one together. No matter how hard it gets. But I hope I can give ya more and more good days. An’ I hope that I can take away the pain, even if it’s just fer a while.”

The smile that forms on Taka’s lips surprises him. It’s wet and sad and happy and confused and all kinds of emotions. But it’s for Mondo. Only for Mondo. And it’s now that he realises that even though it hurts, even though it kills, he will heal. Time will heal him. And this is the start of their new chapter together.

“I love you, Mondo.”

“I love ya too.”

And so he tells himself that that’s it. He takes one last breath and walks away. His fingers swim against Mondo’s larger palm, a sensation he still needs to get used to. But right in this moment, it feels right. It feels perfect.

They’re almost at the car when Taka’s feet stop moving. He feels Mondo follow suit, giving him time to do whatever he needs to do, fingers squeezing gently as if to say ‘it’s okay’. And all he needs to do is have one last look. One last moment. One last goodbye.

There in the distance, sat atop the marble headstone they’ve left behind, a redheaded boy smiles at him. His blue eyes are full of tears, cheeks streaked with those that have already fallen. And as Taka stares back, the boy’s face crinkles with a heart-breaking joy; waving at him as his lips whisper words that are lost on the wind.

But he doesn’t need to hear them. He knows just what they are. And as his childhood love fades away, never to return, Taka finally says the words he never got to say.

“Goodbye, Leon.”

[calliope-love-corner]

Insomnia

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Up late again, are we?"

I nearly jump out of my skin at the sudden unexpected voice. Never a dull day in this house.

"CHRIST, Annabelle, you have GOT to stop doing that!" I scold the silhouette against my dark bedroom window, clutching my blankets in tight balled fists, heart pounding. I'd bolted upright from where I'd been comfortably laying down in my bed, a position I had held for the past several hours. I held my phone close to my chest, where it had once hung loosely in my hands, bright screen angled down to my face. Annabelle gave a low, amused chuckle, and folded her arms, leaning on the windowsil.

"Mm. Don't you have an early shift tomorrow?" She asked coyly, ignoring my protests. My heart finally steadying itself, I rub my eyes, trying to adjust them to the dark of my bedroom. She was right- I had to go in at 8 tomorrow- or today, rather, as it was already just past 2am.

"Don't YOU have something to do other than sneak into my room at night!?" I huff, only really half annoyed at her. This wasn't the first time she seemed to pop up out of nowhere. "Seriously, how did you even get IN here?"

I saw her dark outline shrug. "Oh, you know. Dark apartment, bright screen, quiet footsteps. I can just slip right in, and most of the time, you're too preoccupied to notice."

Fair enough. How she got into my apartment in the first place I suppose ill never know, but I guess a girl's gotta have her secrets. I sigh.

"Whatever. Just. Keep the spiders out of here right now."

"Awe, why?" She prods, adding just enough whine to her tone to make her seem a little bit genuinely disappointed. I know her better than that, though, and she knows that she can't play me that easy. She probably already is playing me, though, in some roundabout way. There was something about the web- their girls always knew how to play the long game, and I was always just along for the ride.

"You don't even know they're there! Too dark to see, and ignorance is bliss, is it not?"

I nervously look around in the darkness, trying to scout any sign of hairy legs or scuttling movement. "I think it's the not knowing that's the worst part, honestly."

"If you insist. Fine, I'll leave your room spider-free. For now."

I could almost hear her wink. I let myself relax a little- as much as one can around someone notorious for their manipulation skills. She'd ways been kind to me, though, and even if at the beginning id been extra-cautious about sniffing out ulterior motives, her presence had become sort of a routine for me. I'd let my guard down. I was playing a dangerous game, and I knew that, and part of me was just waiting for the day she decided she'd gotten what she needed from me and betrayed me. Until then, though, she was just too damn charming.

"Thanks. I guess." I purse my lips, well aware that not setting a horde of spiders loose in someone's bedroom was the bare minimum requirement for politeness. Annabelle laughed again.

"You're funny. So, what's keeping you up, then?" She moves to sit down at the edge of my bed, tucking her retro skirt under her legs as she set her slender form on the mattress. Her weight was barely enough to shift the bed at all. I scoot away, either to give her room to sit, or to put a little more space between her and I. I could not confidently tell you which one. I set my phone down on my pillow and crossed my legs.

"Dunno. Can't sleep, don't want to? Something like that." I tuck my legs up, resting my chin on my knees. "I guess I probably could, but I've been taking a lot of benadryl lately, and it'll make me lag in the morning."

"Oh, well, that's nothing one of your fancy energy drinks can't fix, no?"

"I guess not. I mean, ill be tired no matter what, and a monster will always get me going, but I sorta have to get out of bed in the first place to drink one."

"And that's the hardest part then, isn't it."

"Mm."

This is far too mundane for her to want to really talk about. I wonder why she's really here.

"Guess you have a choice to make, then. Wait 'till you get tired naturally, which could take ages, knowing you- or make yourself sleep and face the consequences in the morning."

I flop back down onto my mountain of pillows, and grumble. "I'm shit at decisions. No matter how simple."

Annabelle laughed again, sweet and genuine and low in her throat. I smile a little. "It's true. You can never make up your mind, can you? Always have to stop and think."

"Mm," I agree. "If you asked me who I would save if my mom and my best friend were hanging off the edge of a cliff, I think I'd just fucking throw myself off."

Another laugh from my visitor. I feel proud of myself for amusing her, a reminder of my place in nearly every friend group I've ever been in as 'the funny one' since as long as I can remember. It feels good to make people laugh.

"So hard on yourself today." She poses the thought in a way that's more fond and inquisitive than accusatory. "Why?"

I crack my knuckles one at a time absentmindedly. "Well, I'm still switching over my medication, so I've felt pretty weird all day. Spacey. More dissociative than usual."

"Oh?"

"Mm. Mirrors have been especially unkind to me today." I continue. "The caffeine probably didn't help either. It's been all spiraling thoughts and impulse ideas and such since I woke up, really."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. I was feeling fine last week though. Parents want me to wait until I'm all switched over before asking to go back on my 20-dose in the morning, but I think I've already decided that's what I wanna do."

I glance over at her sharp brown eyes, that look almost burgundy in just the right light. They're quite freaky, really. Now that my vision has adjusted to the dark, I see her intently looking down at me, as if hung on every word I say.

"Also," I start, realizing how long I've gone on for. "You are FAR too good at making me talk."

"Hah," she smiles. "Maybe consider: you just talk a lot?"

"True. Never been good at shutting up."

"Or maybe I just like listening! Who's to say?" She gives a coy shrug. I squint at her, the traces of a grin tugging at my lips.

"Who's to say." I repeat with a sort of finality, finding myself enamored with the moment. The moment of pause between her next speaking point seems to stretch on for hours before she finally makes the call to break the silence.

"You know," she starts, with that voice of hers that I could never seem to tune out. "I've not really minded our chats lately, really! You're very funny."

"First of all, I know," I accept the compliment. "Second of all, you minded before?"

I'm not exactly hurt by the revelation, per se, more surprised that she's even acknowledged a change in her out attitude out loud. If her attitude has changed at all. I'm not stupid- I know what the web does. I know I can never truly, wholly believe anything she says. But I can choose to try, if just for now.

"Sure," she shrugs. "Most of the time, when I talk to people- especially any of you assistants, good lord- it's busywork. Chores to do, to check off the list. But lately, I've found myself looking forward to our visits. Isn't that strange?"

Always turning things into a question for me to answer. Always trying to get something more out of me. Information, my thoughts. She needs to know how I feel. What I'm feeling now, how I felt earlier, how I'll feel later, how I feel about her. I'm a puzzle piece. I'm a pawn in a big, web-infested game of chess, but my heart still skips a beat when she tells me she actually sort of likes spending time with me, even if she is lying. She probably is.

I decide not to give her the satisfaction of telling her how I feel with this one.

"Personally, I think I'd look forward to them a lot more if you didn't scare the absolute shit out of me every fuckin' time."

She laughs again. "Oh, come on, now. I have to do something to keep in interesting, right? Have to keep you on your toes somehow. If you expect me, I become SIGNIFIFANTLY less scary."

That was true enough. I really didn't mind the occasional jumpscare, to be honest. It did keep things interesting as she said.

"Whatever." I roll my eyes in mock annoyance. She stands up, straightens out her skirt, and folds her arms neatly behind her back.

"Well, I suppose i should get going, then. Don't want to keep you up too long." She smiles.

"What, that's it for tonight? Where's the pizazz, the charm, that signature web flare?"

Annabelle chuckles. "Afraid so, darling. And you know very well that the web works more in subtlety than any other power." She strolls lazily over to the side of the bed. I watch her carefully with my hands folded behind my head.

"Wouldn't exactly call giant fucked up spiders all that subtle."

"Everyone's a critic, I suppose. But a literal fly on the wall seems a little too obvious, no?"

"Touche."

She huffs a final little laugh, and chances a carefully manicured hand to the side of my head, brushing a bit of hair off of my face. I hold completely and utterly still, biting down hard on my cheek. As she pulls away with an elegantly devious smile across her face, a few silver wisps of cobweb trail behind, woven messily into my curls at her touch. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding, and annabelle rests her hands daintily in front of her.

"Don't get too comfortable, love. Lest you forget we feed on fear?"

I swallow hard, and cannot find a response in time. Annabelle has already started out the door.

"You really should sleep, you know. Big day tomorrow."

This snaps me out of my frozen state. "Wait, what?" I call after her, the sound of her heels clicking through my apartment getting fainter as she leaves. I just KNOW she's smiling like the devious bastard she is. "What's tomorrow?? It's just Wednesday???"

The door clicks open, and then shut. She's gone.

"You're a real cryptic bitch sometimes!" I yell after her in vain, rolling over onto my side. I bring a hand to my forehead and grasp at the loose tendrils of web, combing them out of my hair and flicking them aside. I close my eyes, and soon enough, I am fast asleep.

[swanqueeneverafter]

Sins of the Past Pt.5

Camelot. Past. Night. (An agitated Uther dines with Morgana.) Uther: “You seem troubled, Morgana. Is something wrong?” Morgana: “No, father. I’m sorry I’m not better company.” Uther: “I’m merely concerned for your welfare, that’s all.” Morgana: “Thank you, My Lord. All is well.” (Arthur enters.) Uther: “What news of the hunt for the Druid boy?” Arthur: “We have conducted an extensive search. The boy is nowhere to be found.” Uther: “You mean you failed to find him?” Arthur: “Perhaps he’s already left the city.” Uther: “You’re telling me that a wounded boy is able to evade the guards and escape the city? Nonsense, someone’s hiding him. I want him found.” Arthur: “He’s just a boy. What harm can he do?” Uther: “He is a Druid, and that makes him dangerous.” Morgana: “The Druids would see my father’s kingdom destroyed.” Uther: “Morgana is right. Double your efforts.” Arthur: “Yes, My Lord.” Uther: “Keep searching until you find him.” Morgana's Chambers. (With Mordred looking on, Morgana stands wearing Guinevere's clothes.) Morgana: (Sighs:) "It’ll have to do. (Turns to Mordred:) We’re going to get you out of Camelot. I won’t let anything bad happen to you. I promise. (Guinevere enters the room:) Did you get the keys?" Guinevere: "Yes. (Holds them up:) The door is behind the shield at the far end of the armoury. I'll prepare you some food and water for the journey." Morgana: "Thank you. I feel I’ve put you in danger without ever stopping to ask how you feel about it. I’m sorry." Guinevere: "I know how it feels to face the threat of execution. And I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Just be careful."

Storybrooke. Present. The Dragon's Lair. (Henry stops by the former 'Roni's'.) Henry: (Leaning against the bar:) "Wow, I've never seen this place so busy." Robin: (Proudly:) "Yep, ever since we changed to a bar and restaurant - complete with theme nights - profits have been through the roof." Henry: "Maleficent must be thrilled." Robin: "Well you'd think so, but when Remy asked her to change the name to 'Le repaire du Dragon', the look she gave him..." Henry: "She's not a big fan of change, huh?" Robin: "No, but she can't argue with the results. I mean, no one was coming to this place when it was some sort of kinky sex dungeon anyway. Except your parents of course. (Henry winces:) Sorry." Henry: "Yeah. Can I get a refill please, I've got to get back out there." Robin: "Sure thing. (Takes Henry's coffee mug:) So, how was game night?" Henry: "Oh I told them I had to work. It just wouldn't have been the same without Ella there anyway." Robin: "Tell me about it. Between Emma and Regina, Snow and David and Robin Hood and my mom, I was kinda glad Mal wouldn't let me take the night off. I mean all that mushy love stuff can get a little..." Henry: "I know what you mean. (Taking his coffee:) Thanks, I'll see you later." Robin: "Cya." Dragon's Lair. Recent Past. 50's Night. (The bar has been turned into a retro 50's diner for the evening with the jukebox playing and people dancing. Sitting at the bar, Regina and Emma, dressed as 'Sandy and Danny' are in deep discussion.) Emma: "I don't know what to tell ya, we flipped a coin and I won." Regina: "But you're a natural blonde! It just makes more sense for you to be Sandy. Roni had just the right leather jacket for this." Emma: "Seriously, you want to talk to me about leather jackets? Besides, (Playing with 'Sandy's' scarf:) I kinda like you as a blonde." Regina: "Oh you do, do you?" Maleficent: (Standing behind the bar:) "Oh please." Emma: "Hey, can we get some shots?" Regina: "Shots? Are you trying to get me drunk?" Emma: "Haven't you seen the movie? It's my job to turn the good girl, bad." Maleficent: "Ugh. I'll be in my office." (Maleficent turns and walks down the hall and out of sight.) Emma: (Calling after her:) "What about our shots?" Regina: "Shh, I'll get them. (Regina stands and walks around the bar, picking up some glasses:) I did used to own the place after all."

Emma: "What's up with Maleficent?" Regina: "Oh don't worry about her, it's probably a full moon." Emma: "That's Werewolves, not Dragons." Regina: (Pouring the shots:) "Look who knows so much all of a sudden. (They clink glasses and knock the shots back. With a grimace:) So, in this movie Sandy meets up with this Danny person and he's a bad influence?" Emma: "Well yeah, sorta. I mean how bad can anyone who bursts into song every five minutes really be?" Regina: "Oh, well there goes that idea." Emma: "What idea?" Regina: "I was just thinking we could watch it sometime, but you know how I feel about musicals." Emma: (Watching Regina pour another shot:) "You know we could go home, put it on and then not watch it together." Regina: "What would be the point in- (Sees the look on Emma's face:) Ah, I understand. (Picks up her shot:) Well then take me home, Big Bird." Emma: "I think you mean T-Bird. (They down their shots. Slamming the glass down on the bar:) Let's go, Sandra Dee." Camelot. Past. Morgana’s Chambers. (Morgana prepares to take the boy to safety when she sees the look on Guinevere’s face.) Morgana: “What is it? What’s wrong?” Guinevere: “You’re risking so much for this boy. Let me take him out of the castle.” Morgana: “No. It’s too dangerous. I’ll do it. If you are caught, Uther will execute you. The boy’s my responsibility.” Guinevere: “You don’t know anything about him.” Morgana: “There’s a bond between us.” Guinevere: "Stronger than the bond you have with Uther?" Morgana: “It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Perhaps I was always meant to help him.” Guinevere: "How can that be?” Morgana: “I don’t know. I can’t explain it. (Guinevere sighs and shakes her head:) I must go." Guinevere: “Good luck.” (Guards march through the castle as Morgana peeks over the edge of the curved stairs and descends with Mordred. A serving girl sees them sneaking off through the corridor at the bottom of the spiral stairway. They sneak out through the door behind the shield in the armoury. Arthur enters the armoury with a guard.) Guard: “A servant saw someone entering. They had a boy with them.” (Arthur sees the revealed door and checks his key ring, but the key is missing.) Arthur: “Sound the warning bell.” Guinevere’s House. Night. (Guinevere looks out the window while the warning bells sound. Morgana and Mordred enter.) Guinevere: “There’s enough food for three days. Your horse is fed and watered. I’ll take you to it.” Morgana: “No. There’s no point in all of us risking our lives.” Guinevere: “What about you?” Morgana: “I’m the King’s daughter. I’ll take my chances.” Guinevere: “Morgana!” Morgana: “I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to you. We must go.” Lower Town. (Morgana and Mordred try to run, but Arthur and the guards approach through their exit. Morgana and Mordred hide in a nearby building. Arthur enters.) Arthur: “Fan out. (Morgana and Mordred make a break for it, but they run across a guard and Arthur blocks the other side of the path. Arthur draws his sword and places it at Morgana’s back:) Halt, or I’ll run you through. Show yourself.” (Morgana turns around. Arthur is shocked.) Morgana: “Let him go. I beg you. He’s just a child.” (Arthur considers his options, looking at the guards around him.) Arthur: (To the guards:) “Restrain them.” 

Wonderland. Present. (Ella and Will continue walking towards the Mad Hatter's house.) Ella: (Spotting it:) "Will. Over there! The Hatter's house. (Begins running:) Hurry!" Mad Hatter's House. (Ella opens the door and enters.) Ella: "Mother! (Dozens and dozens of hats are all that greet them:) I'm here!" Will: "Ella." Ella: "She must be here. It's too dark to tell, or maybe she's sleeping or something." Will: "Your Mother ain't here." Ella: "No, she must be here." Will: "Ella. (Ella starts looking through all the hats, desperately:) Ella. I'm sorry. But she's not. And as far as I can tell, she never was. If she were, wouldn't she have shown herself by now?" Ella: "But she was here, I can sense it." Will: (As Ella leaves the house:) "Ella." (Walking outside, Ella closes her eyes for a moment, dejected. Opening her eyes again, she feels something.) Ella: "Will, come quickly! (Will exits the house:) My necklace. The one my parents each kept a piece of, look!" Will: (Stares at the necklace:) "It's glowing." Ella: "It's a sign! We were meant to come here. My mother was here, I knew it!" Will: "But she's not anymore. You said it yourself, this was your best chance at finding a clue as to where she went and there's nothing here." Ella: (Smiling:) "This isn't the time to be stubborn, Will. Look!" (Ella holds up the still glowing necklace.) Will: (Gently pushes it away:) "I'm not being stubborn." Ella: "Yes, you are. If you want to leave, leave. But I'm staying." Will: "Because of a necklace?" Ella: "Because she's here." Will: "But you have no proof." Ella: "When you really love someone, you don't need proof. You can feel it. She's here. I'm gonna find her. Now the only question is, are you coming with me?" Will: "I was afraid you were going to ask me that." Ella: "Is that a 'yes'?" Will: (Smiles, despite himself:) "Bloody hell. Come on then." (Replacing the glowing necklace, Ella wipes away her tears as she and Will continue their search, together.) Kingdom of Valencia. Catrina's Guest Chambers. (Kneeling on the floor of her room with Jonas, Catrina enchants a necklace with her blood.) Catrina: "Ic nemne þá grædige, yfele, formolsnung. mé getryme. Nu meaht þú begalan. Nu meaht þú begalan. (To Jonas:) Dinner time." (She cackles.) 

Gareth’s Chamber. (Gareth and Catrina have dinner together.) Catrina: “Isn’t this perfect? You and me together. A toast. A toast to us.” Gareth: “To us.” Catrina: “There’s something I want to give you. It belonged to my father, and his father before him.” Gareth: “Oh, My Lady, I couldn’t possibly…” Catrina: “No, no, no, I want you to have it. Perhaps when you look at it, it will remind you of me.” (She puts the enchanted necklace around Gareth’s neck.) Gareth: “I shall wear it always.” Catrina: “That is as well, for am I not beautiful, Gareth?” Gareth: “Oh, you are beautiful, My Lady.” Catrina: “Am I not your heart’s desire?” Gareth: “You are my heart’s desire.” Catrina: “Then seal it, Gareth. Seal it with a kiss.” Gareth: “Yes. A kiss.” (When they kiss, the enchantment is complete.) Camelot. Past. Council Chamber. (Morgana stands before Uther while Arthur watches on.) Uther: “All this time, you’ve been hiding the boy in my own palace. How could you betray me like this?” Morgana: “I would not see him executed. I did what I thought was right.” Uther: “You think it’s right to conspire with my enemies against me?” Morgana: “How can this child be your enemy? He’s just a boy.” Uther: “He is a Druid.” Morgana: “Is that such a crime?” Uther: “His kind would see me dead and this kingdom returned to anarchy and you would help them.” Morgana: “Then punish me… but spare the boy. I beg you.” Uther: (To Arthur:) “Make arrangements for the boy to be executed tomorrow morning.” Morgana: “No! Please. He’s done nothing.” Uther: “Let this be a lesson to you.” Morgana: “You don’t have to do this.” Uther: (To Arthur:) “Do you hear me? I want him executed at dawn.” Arthur: “Yes, My Lord.” Morgana: “What have these people done to you? Why are you so full of hate?” (Morgana marches towards Uther and grabs his arm. Uther grabs her throat and presses her against a chair back.) Uther: “Enough! I will not hear another word! Do not speak to me until you are ready to apologise for what you’ve done.” (Uther leaves, Arthur follows him.)

That Night. Morgana’s Chambers. (A thunderstorm rages. Morgana stirs restlessly in her sleep and magically lights a candle by her bed.) Guinevere: (Entering the room:) “I brought you some extra blankets, I thought you might be cold… (Guinevere sees the lighted candle and blows it out, taking it over to the window. Morgana eyes flicker and magically she lights candle in her sleep again. Guinevere gasps, waking Morgana who’s eyes glow golden which causes the flame to burn higher, burning her curtains:) Morgana! Morgana, stop!” (Morgana screams, shattering the glass from her windows.) Storybrooke. Swan-Mills House. Present. (Regina sits reading in the living room when she hears Emma call out to her.) Emma: "Regina?" Regina: "In here. Did Maria go down okay?" Emma: "Of course, I'm the law in this town, so what Mama wants, Mama gets." (Glancing up from her book, Regina looks to see Emma stood leaning against the door frame. Wearing only a white bathrobe and with her hair done in a familiar fashion, Emma enjoys the smile that crosses her wife's face.) Regina: "Ooh, Mama like." Emma: (Smiles, walks further into the room:) "I thought a little role-reversal was called for. (Twirls the bathrobe tie in her hand:) So can Roni come out and play?" Regina: (Slamming the book closed:) "I think that can be arranged." Emma: (Winks:) "Then follow me." (Regina promptly stands and follows her wife. When Emma doesn't head for the stairs however, Regina stops.) Regina: "Where are you going?" Emma: (Continues walking:) "Well it's not quite Greased Lightning, but I think your Mercedes will be cosy enough. (Emma reaches the door to the garage across the hall. Looks over her shoulder:) Coming?"

Regina: (Smirks:) "Do you want me to fetch my leather jacket?" Emma: "Oh no, I don't think that'll be necessary. After all... (Emma unties her robe and lets it drop to the floor at her feet:) You're already wearing far too much." (Without another word, Emma opens the door and enters the garage. Not needing to be asked twice, Regina kicks off her shoes and follows Emma into the garage, discarding her clothes as quickly as possible.) Camelot. Past. Morgana's Chambers. (Guinevere sits with Morgana, rocking her in her arms.) Morgana: "I’m scared, Guin. I don’t understand anything anymore." Guinevere: "You can trust me, Morgana. You know you can." Morgana: "It's magic, Guin." Guinevere: "Shh. You need your rest." Morgana: "You think it's magic too. (Pulling away to look at her:) Please, Guin, I just need to hear you say it."   Guinevere: (Strokes Morgana's face:) "I understand. I realise how frightening all this must be for you. Especially for you." Morgana: "Why especially for me?" Guinevere: "You’re the King’s daughter. You know his hatred of magic better than anyone." Morgana: "So you do think it was magic?" Guinevere: “I’m not saying that.” Morgana: “But it could be, couldn’t it?” Guinevere: “I really wouldn’t know, but there are people who do.” Morgana: “Who?” Guinevere: “What about the Druids? They help people like you.” Morgana: “None of their kind would dare show their face in Camelot.” Guinevere: “No. But I know where you can find them. You must go tonight with Arthur when he takes the druid boy out of the castle.” Morgana: “Arthur? He’s the one who turned me in.” Guinevere: “Yes and he regrets it. Arthur doesn’t wish to see the boy executed any more than we do.” Morgana: “And you trust him?” Guinevere: “Yes, I do.” Morgana: “But how would I leave the castle? My father-” Guinevere: “We must use what happened here tonight to our advantage. For the boy’s sake, and yours.” Labyrinth of Gedref. Present. (While Merida continues to navigate the labyrinth, Mulan meets Anhora.) Mulan: "You said Merida would face a test. And here you are, preparing a trap for her." Anhora: "The trap isn’t for Merida. It is for you. Gehæftan." (As a result of Anhora's spell, Mulan is wrapped in vines from the labyrinth walls.) Labyrinth of Gedref. Exit. (Merida runs through the labyrinth and finds the exit leading to the sea. Mulan is sitting at a table on the shore, Anhora standing nearby.) Merida: “Mulan?” Mulan: “I’m sorry.” Merida: “Let her go. I’ll take your test, but not till she’s released.” Anhora: “That is not possible. Mulan is part of the test. Please sit. (Merida doesn’t move:) If you refuse the test, you will have failed and Dun Broch will be destroyed.” Merida: (Sighs, taking a seat opposite Mulan:) “I thought I told you to stay away. (To Anhora:) Let’s get on with it.” Anhora: “There are two goblets before you. One of the goblets contains a deadly poison, the other goblet, a harmless liquid. All the liquid from both goblets must be drunk, but each of you may only drink from a single goblet.” Merida: “What kind of ridiculous test is that? What does that prove?” Anhora: “What it proves is for you to decide. If you pass the test, the curse will be lifted.” Mulan: “Let’s think about this. What if I drink from my goblet first?” Merida “If it’s poisoned, you’ll die.” Mulan: “And if it’s not, then you’ll have to drink from yours, and you’ll die. There must be a way around it.” Merida: “Well obviously one of us has to die. We have to find a way to determine which goblet has the poison. And then I’ll drink it.” Mulan: “I will be the one to drink it.” Merida: “This is my responsibility. I’m drinking it.” Mulan: “It is more important that you live. You’re the Queen.” Merida: “You’re already a hero, Mulan. There’s no need for you to be a martyr.” Mulan: (Sigh:) “What if I drink from mine first, and if that’s not poisoned, I will then drink yours?” Merida: “He said each of us is only allowed to drink from a single goblet. I had no idea you were so keen to die for me.” Mulan: “Trust me, I can hardly believe it myself.” Merida: (Snort:) “I’m glad you are here, Mulan.” Mulan: “I’ve got it. Right, we pour all the liquid into one goblet and then we can be sure it is poisoned. Then all the liquid can be drunk, and it will be from a single goblet.” Merida: “Brilliant. Look out!” (Merida points and Mulan looks. Merida takes the two goblets and pours all of the liquid into one of them, holding it to drink.) Mulan: “No! I will drink it!” Merida: “As if I’d let you.” Mulan: “You can’t die. This isn’t your destiny.” (Merida toasts Mulan then drinks it.) Mulan: “No! What have you done? (Merida falls off the chair, unconscious:) Merida! No! (Mulan tries to shake Merida awake:) Merida. Merida. Come on! Merida, come on. Come on. Come on! (Mulan turns to Anhora:) Please. Please! Just… let me take her place!” Anhora: “This was Merida’s test, not yours.” Mulan: “You’ve killed her!" Anhora: “She is not dead. She’s merely consumed a sleeping draught.” Mulan: “What?” Anhora: “I believe you have some experience with the poppy flower? (Mulan nods:) She will come round shortly.” Mulan: “I don’t understand?” Anhora: “A unicorn is pure of heart. If you kill one, you must make amends by proving that you also are pure of heart. Merida was willing to sacrifice her life to save yours. She has proven what is truly in her heart. The curse will be lifted.” (Mulan kneels down to check on Merida to find her breathing laboured. Concerned, Mulan picks up the goblet and inspects it.) Mulan: “This was not made with the poppy flower!” (Mulan reaches into the goblet and pulls out a petal.) Anhora: “That’s not possible, I poured the goblets myself earlier today.” Mulan: “Did you leave them unattended? (Anhora considers, then nods:) Then your test was sabotaged and that means that Merida really has been poisoned!”

[bigskydreaming]

In my ideal world where Dick and Jason have the strong brotherly bond I want them to have, the Ric Grayson thing happened like in canon, and Bruce and Babs came back to the rest of the family and reported Ric wants to be left alone and they should all respect his wishes. 

But two seconds later Jason’s halfway out the window and Bruce is like, “Jason, are you listening?” 

And Jason calls back over his shoulder: “Totally, it was a really neat story B, I just remembered I left the stove on, gotta go, bye!”

Then he drives straight to Titans Tower where he abducts/sorta-politely-requests-the-assistance-of Lilith. “I need your help with something, c’mon you owe me.” 

And Lilith’s like: “....you’ve never done done a damn thing for me in my life, why the fuck would I owe you anything?”

And Jason’s all: “Ugh, damn. I was sorta hoping if I just led with that and put enough conviction in it you’d just roll with it, I hate doing this next part if I can avoid it.” 

To which he adds, through gritted teeth, with actual beads of blood rolling down his forehead where normally there would merely be beads of sweat as proof of exertion, but everything’s just a Little Bit Extra when Jason does it: “I need your help with something, c’mon, I’ll owe you.”

And then Lilith’s eyes glow and in a thunderous voice that rattles the heavens in their windowpanes, Lilith says, "The bargain has been struck, so shall it be!”

And Jason’s like: ”...what the fuck was that.” 

Lil just shrugs and says, “I’m not really sure. I’m maybe a little bit of a demigoddess or something? Hard to say, nobody ever spends enough time on me as a character or actually finishes my plotlines enough for me to actually know what my whole deal even is. Its kinda like Donna, but my story arcs are more just ‘All the confusion, but none of the denoument’.”

“Huh. Hey are we breaking the fourth wall right now?”

“Oh, totally. But I’m pretty sure we’re allowed because gay rights.”

“Sweet.”

And then they go together to Bludhaven and break into Ric’s apartment and Ric’s like who the fuck are you, and Jason’s all: “I’m the brother of the guy who’s you but faster and this is Lilith, she’s maybe a demigoddess, we’re not sure.”

And Ric’s just: “I have no idea wtf any of that means, and the way just the sound of it makes my head hurt is why I’m pretty sure I told Desperately In Need Of Therapy Man and the redhead who made a point to tell me a hundred different times in under five minutes that she and I definitely never dated, when literally all I asked was if she knew where the bathroom was: I. Don’t. Want. None. Of. Your. Drama.”

Jason just smirks. “Oh no, I got your message loud and clear with the rest of the family. Its just that I’m better at loopholes than the rest of them. Also logic. And I mean, pretty much everything. Definitely the best at not staying dead, and having flair, like at least I actually know how to stage a comeback...”

Lilith interrupts him gently. “Jason? Think you’re getting off topic, maybe?”

“Oh. Right. Point is, so yeah, I heard what you wanted but then I thought to myself, Self, why should I give a fuck what THIS dude wants, when as he pointed out, he’s not even my brother? Like, he’s totally legit for not wanting shit to do with our hot mess of a family. I can kinda even respect him for that and for just spitting it out there rather than succumbing to the existence-sucking vortex that is our dad’s Eternal Depression Spiral and Ensuing Drama which then takes over our entire lives as well and creeps ever onward in its quest to eventually swallow the entire universe. I mean like Darkseid could never, he’s amateur hour compared to the endless Night of Brooding that B would darken the whole universe with if he didn’t have us to gut-check his ego and be all “get over yourself dude, you and your issues are not the most important thing in existence” every once in awhile...”

Ric: “I think your friend mentioned something about a point.”

Jason glares at him. “I was getting to it! I think. Eventually. Okay here’s the deal, Understudy That Nobody Asked For, you’re absolutely valid for saying you don’t owe us jack shit, but turn around is fair play and turns out, that just means I don’t owe you jack shit either. You’re not my brother, and so instead of giving a fuck what you want, I asked my self, Self, what would my actual brother want here? Would he want to just...not exist, while his family is currently in the midst of being the hottest of all hot messes to ever mess hotly? Or would he want somebody to go grab one of the most powerful psychics in existence, who also happens to be a close personal friend of his, and get her to just exorcise the Existential Crisis That Just Didn’t Know When To Quit so I could have my brother back and we could all just get back to normal? I mean, except for you, I guess that would probably suck from your perspective, its just - as established, I don’t have to give a fuck, soooooo.....I’ve decided not to....I know, awkward, huh....”

And Ric blinks. “Fuck. Your logic is sound. The parts of it I understood at least. Umm...I’m not thrilled, obviously, but it doesn’t sound like I could do anything to stop it and its not like I’m exactly living it up and having just an awesome, enviable existence or anything, so....what even happens now?”

Jason checks his watch. “Oh I think now we just wait another ten seconds for Lilith to finish what she’s been doing since we got here while I vamped like a motherfucker and kept you too distracted to try and keep her from messing with your head. Which the ironic thing is you probably coulda done a pretty decent job of if you’d known to try, since one of the many things you didn’t want to know about my brother is that he has freakishly obnoxious willpower he uses in all sorts of other ways besides just being a stubborn asshole, and since you’re basically him no matter what you pretend or want to believe, that probably applies to you too, and so....”

And then Dick blinks and stumbles before catching himself gracefully because he’s Dick Grayson (again) and that’s just what he does, be smooth and graceful like a stubborn asshole even when he’s drugged or sleep deprived or just awakening from several months locked inside his own subconscious because amnesia or whatthefuckever.

Ugh, Jason thinks to himself grumpily. His brother is just the absolute worst.

And Dick’s like: “Jason? Lil? What are you two doing here? Together? And wait, where is here? What the fuck happened?”

And Jason’s all: “So much, Dickiebird, but almost none of it is interesting or anything I care about. So catch the Cliff Notes later from somebody who was actually paying attention and just head back to Gotham with me so I can reclaim my apartment from the Turdlings who have started dropping by it whenever the fuck they feel like. Because apparently, they’ve decided in your absence all Oldest Brother Privileges and Responsibilities are automatically ceded to me, and I absolutely fucking object. Especially since it turns out the ‘privileges’ are misnamed at best and totally not fucking worth it. In fact, I object so fucking much, our next stop is Zatanna or some other big name magic wunderkind so they can whammy you with some kind of immortality ritual, I don’t care how hard it is, I will pay literally any price and take it out of Bruce’s bank accounts because I’ve decided you’re just not allowed to die now, ever, I fucking refuse to have to put up with any of this bullshit again, the next time you try and fuck off to the Great Trapeze in the Sky.”

And Dick blinks, like; “What?”

Jason just whines like the big baby he really is underneath all the bluster and bloodshed. “Look its been a very long year and I’m tired and stressed and can we just go home already, this place sucks and I hate it. Like damn, you really live like this? Amnesia You apparently decided to rebel against good taste along with everything else.”

Dick softens. “Sure Little Wing, lets go home and see if someone else can catch me up to speed. You do tend to leave out a lot of pertinent information on the basis of not caring about things other people consider relevant. Like....laws.”

“Fuck you, I can’t believe you’re coming for me and my amorality like this when I just saved your overrated ass from a lifetime of not existing but also making terrible life choices.”

“And I’m sure I’ll be very grateful once I understand what exactly it is you saved me from, I can’t properly appreciate you if I don’t know what the stakes were, can I?” Dick says. Before Jason can appear too mollified though, he continues. “Although from what I have put together so far, it sounds like Lilith probably did most of the heavy lifting, so isn’t it really her who saved me?”

“This is why I never do nice things for you!”

“I’m joking, jeez, lighten up, Little Wing. Just because your frame is load-bearing now doesn’t mean you gotta act like everything’s so heavy...”

“Hah! I knew you resented me for being bigger than you ever since I came back!”

“Well I’m sorry, its just not natural. I’m the oldest brother, I’m supposed to be bigger than you, that’s just the rule....”

“Oh, well excuuuuuuuuse me, Mr. I Make the Rules, I’m so sorry for getting murdered and then coming back from the dead and being thrown into a Lazarus Pit that just happened to have the side effect of making my remaining growth spurts get me all the way to my optimal size...”

“Aha! So you admit that your being bigger than me isn’t a natural phenomenon!”

“Oh please, I would have ended up bigger than you even without the Lazarus Pit. You’re a shrimp! You’re a shrimp that flies, its that whole acrobat/gymnast thing, you’re a tiny little man and you just need to get over the fact that everyone else who is over eighteen and not Tim is always going to be bigger than you and always was!”

“Aaaaand, they’re back,” Lilith sighs to herself, rolling her eyes fondly as she follows them and the dumbest argument ever out the door. Admittedly, she wouldn’t have it any other way.

[rydenstories]

A Spiral Staircase

REDDIT

My Grandma lived out in the country. Not the real country, with farms and cornfields. Just far enough away from the city that the houses are a good football field away from one another, with expansive backyards. Mom always said she felt we needed the space to run free, though we both knew it was just an excuse for her to drop us off for months at a time, obligation free. We were rambunctious kids, my sister Amanda and I, without a care in the world and so we spent those summers running all over the place.

Along with our energy, we were blindly friendly to everyone, despite most of the surrounding residents being more than a little annoyed with our presence, running through people's yards. Grandma's right side neighbors, though, were very kind to us. I had always found myself personally interested in their house, being much larger and newer than anything I'd ever even set foot in. I also knew there were children over there, though they rarely came outside to play. It was actually their father, Isaac, who initially invited us through Grandma to meet his children.

My sister and I and chased each other across the large field between the two houses. Isaac waved from his porch and as we grew closer and I noticed the two children behind him. Twins, a little girl and boy, who's names I learned were Eloise and Edward. They started off shy, but soon warmed up to us. Isaac suggested that we play in the yard. Both children looked at their father with a surprised look before booking it excitedly off the porch, yelling for us to follow them.

This started a friendship that, although only lasted only a few weeks, felt years old fairly quick. Both children, who my sister and I called simply The Twins, were quiet but incredibly intelligent. Mature. Knowing. They could both be bratty, having been home-schooled and sheltered most of their lives, but it didn't show often. It didn't take long after that initial play-date for the Twins to start staying over at our grandma's house nearly all the time. However, we'd never been to their house. My sister asked a few times during the early days. Either of them would just shrug it off.

"It's nothing special. We don't have a lot of stuff, and there isn't much to do. It's much more fun at your house anyway."

We'd correct them; it was our grandma's house, not home.

Mom hadn't been back to even visit in weeks. Hadn't even heard from her, at least not until she called my grandma up, near the end of July, and needed bailed out of jail. Grandma argued with her on the phone for a while before hanging up and frantically calling people in her phone-book, looking for ANYONE that could watch us while she tended to her business. Soon, she found herself walking us across the lawn with Amanda and I in tow, knocking on the back screen door, and politely asking Isaac to keep an eye on us. He hesitated but ultimately agreed and let us into the house. "Remove your shoes, please! I'll be in my office. It's by the kitchen, so if you need anything, just holler for me!"

Stepping into the door, I scanned the room and realized that the twins were right; there really wasn't anything in their house. Not even a TV set. Two white couches, a glass coffee table, and a plain grey rug. It all seemed nice but kind of.... bland. The room was far too large to be so empty, too. Isaac called to the kids, who jogged up from around a corner. Their faces lit up when they saw us. "Oh my gosh! Hi!"

Soon they were leading us around and showing us everything. Each room was very clean and mostly empty, aside expensive and bland furniture. The Twins led us to the den and something immediately caught my eye; at the corner of the room, a metal spiral staircase both rose into the upper level of the house and plunged into the depths of the basement. Without thinking about it, I exclaimed "Wow! That sure is pretty!" Eddie stopped and the rest of the group did, too.

"Yeah. It's really nice. My mommy had it put in when we moved here. There's another staircase in the hall but that one was hers. It leads right up into her bedroom and down into...." He trailed off for a moment. "Where her craft-room used to be."

Obviously, even as a naive kid, this all struck me as odd. I'd never seen or heard about their mom and this definitely didn't seem like a crafty-mom house. "Your mom?"

Ellie answered this time. "She left. She didn't like us anymore."

I immediately caught the frown that struck my sister's face and knew I probably wore a similar one. Both of us knew that feeling. We tried our best to pretend we didn't get that feeling, but we did. Kids aren't much to dwell on sour subjects, though, because the twins immediately moved on from it and so did we.

"Anyway, we aren't allowed to use it. Too dangerous, daddy says. Plus, we don't really wanna go down into that basement, either." Before I could ask why, the twins were already walking towards the swirling staircase and gesturing for us to follow. My sister stayed behind but I followed and looked down into the hole in the floor.

The basement was a stark contrast to the bareness of the rest of the house. Even from what little I could see, the entire place was packed floor-to-ceiling with absolute junk, filling giant clear and multi-colored plastic tubs stacked on top one another. "Who's stuff is it?"

With the statement, I looked back and realized that Eddie and I were the only two left in the room. Ellie must have noticed my sister's discomfort and led her to the next room. Eddie was quiet for a minute, almost searching for an answer. "I really don't know. Dad's I guess." And with that, it was as if the thought was out of his mind, because he turned away from the staircase and continued on his tour of the house. Nothing else stuck out like that staircase, and no other room had the same kind of insane clutter as that basement seemed to have.

The Twin's bedroom was large and about as plain as the rest of the house, though it definitely had more in it than all the other rooms (leaving out the basement) combined. The children owned dozens of books and puzzles. Ellie had an impressive collection of porcelain dolls that my sister couldn't keep her eyes off of, while Eddie's pride was a heavy stone chess table with perfect little glass pieces. They definitely had more than I expected, but I could see why they found our more modern toys had a wider appeal.

Still, we found fun easily. Both mothers and other oddities were out of our minds for hours as we played pretend and Eddie taught me how to play chess. Without notice, much of the day had passed and I eventually had to use the restroom. I tried to remember where it was but failed and had to ask the Twins. "Aw man, you forgot already?! I told you, the main bathroom is busted so you'll have to use the one in my mom & dad's room. It's just down the hall."

I asked one of them to go with me but they both laughed and asked if I was serious. Embarrassment washed over me and I quietly led myself out of the room.

Isaac's bedroom door was open wide and I could see the staircase from the hallway. I entered the room and veered off to the bathroom, which had a huge jacuzzi tub that had clearly never been used. After finishing my business, I exited the bathroom and began to leave before my curiosity stopped me and the staircase caught my eye again. Isaac had told us he'd be in his office, I told myself. He wouldn't notice or care if I just went down the staircase and into the den. I could run right back up and nobody would even know!

There wasn't even a question in my mind before my feet started moving and my hand went for the cold, metal rail. I almost expected a loud, rusted creaking sound when I put the first bit of my weight onto the top step but found the entire thing to be surprisingly stable and quiet. Immediately, being on the thing felt dreamy and the quick trek down was suddenly taking much longer as I studied the design of each step as my foot landed on it. Before I knew it, I was in the living room, and staring into a deep, crowded hole. I snapped back to the moment and realized that I probably needed to go back up before I got into trouble.

Before I could turn and escape back up the stairs, the low sound of humming coming from below caught my attention and I froze in place. Shoot. I'd been caught and my grandma would not be happy to hear that I'd been misbehaving when she was already so stressed. The humming continued, quiet and sad. I actually look back now and recognize the song as If Tomorrow Never Comes by Garth Brooks, though at the time I only felt it was extremely familiar. Somehow, my brain began to reason that the Twins had lied, and their mother really was around, in her craft room. Again, my feet began to move before my brain could put reason behind the steps and I was descending into the basement.

Almost immediately, I knew that my initial suspicions were wrong as soon as I hit the landing. The basement was much too dark for anyone to see anything down there. The walls of filled containers seemed even higher and more close together than they did from upstairs, but formed a path that led deeper into the basement. On the floor, I noticed literally dozens of moth balls spilled everywhere, a familiar scent that I picked up the moment I'd entered the house but couldn't place until then. Up close, the smell seemed almost enough to knock a full grown adult out, but I ignored it as the humming continued from somewhere in the darkness. I started following the sound and called out, sorta clumsily, "Hello? Uh, Eddie and Ellie's mom? I'm sorry to come down here it's just-"

I turned a corner in what now began to seem like a maze of junk and the humming halted, cutting off my speech and stopping me in my tracks. The manufactured corridor was nearly pitch black without the illumination from upstairs, though a little light still leaked through the cracks between containers. I stood there in silence for a moment before the humming picked up again, which seemed less pretty now and more labored, sour notes coming between low whimpers. I started feeling for the walls, continuing into the basement and towards the sound. I gasped after almost slipping on a large cluster of mothballs and the humming stopped yet again. The moment was much shorter and the humming never resumed. Instead, I heard someone softly gasp, then one of the loudest cracks I have ever heard in my life, like stomping on million dried branches.

Startled, I froze again for a long time, my curiosity dropping for a moment and reality reminding me that I was deep within somewhere I wasn't allowed to be. Before my good sense could make me turn around, something crashed somewhere in the basement. Pink light leaked through cracks on the far side of the basement. Again, everything sensible retreated to the back of my mind and I slowly began making my way through the zig-zag of big tupperware tubs and junk. Too much junk, I started to think as I turned the final corner.

Nobody was down there, but it was clear that one of the topmost containers had been opened and something had fallen out. It was a little music box with a bright pink light inside. I suddenly felt stupid, realizing that the music I heard could have easily come from this, although it didn't make much sense and the quiet tune didn't match. I walked over and picked it up. A container lid sat next to it. I grabbed it as well and recoiled at the foul smell that stuck to it, unbelievably somehow cutting through the raw stench of mothball.

On the other end of the row, there was the normal staircase that led up into the kitchen. It was clear at the other end of the house and even Isaac would notice, his office was right next to the kitchen. I didn't care anymore, though. It would be better than trekking all the way back in the dark, and they were gonna notice my absence regardless.

I picked up the lid and music box again, holding them far away from me as I searched for and spotted the tupperware container they likely belonged to at the very top of a stack. Somehow feeling a naive sense of courage after all of that, I began trying to climb up to put them back. Soon, I found myself standing on the very edge of a container and reaching with all of my might to just tip the little music box into the bin. After a moment or two, I was finally able to push it over, but not without my fingers catching the edge of the open bin. The surprise made me lose my balance and soon I was falling backwards. My caught hand pulled the bin down with me as the momentum caused my legs to knock the others I'd been standing on forward.

The contents of the container hit hard and heavy, causing my head to smack the ground. My vision blacked out and I laid there, feeling woozy. The smell from the container hit harder as well and I fought the pain and nausea.

I closed my eyes for a while, listening for an adult or one of the other children to inevitably come find me but as a few moments passed in silence, I started trying to move myself. Something heavy laid on top of my chest. I finally opened my eyes and my vision started coming back. As they adjusted, I realized almost immediately that a pair of glassed-over eyes were staring back at me. A girl, frozen stiff in the fetal position, lay on top of me, head laying lax over my shoulder, peering straight into my soul. Panic rose and I began to scream.

Fighting pain, I scrambled out from underneath the tiny dead girl, though I had trouble standing up. One of the other containers had also been knocked open, a much more decayed woman slumped out, feet bent unnaturally close to her face. The contents of another had clearly been jostled and I could see wispy black hair poking through the junk packed around the poor girl I knew was inside. Another scream rose but caught as the creaking of the basement door caught my attention and light from above spilled over decay.

Isaac looked in shock at the scene below him, covering his mouth to stifle a gasp before stepping backwards and running away to somewhere else in the house. The man was caught.

I froze there for a moment, having seen enough horror movies even at that age to know that he would probably be coming back with a knife or something. I really didn't want to be in that basement anymore. The girl with the glassy eyes stared blankly into me, and I finally pulled myself up off the floor, I weighing my options. I could go back, through the dark, and return to the spiral staircase or I could chance the set of stairs in front of me.

The sound of movement from above, in the kitchen, made the decision for me.

It took me another short moment to make myself go back through the zig-zags of variously colored tubs, frightened of what was probably inside, but fear of being killed overcame the fear of those who'd already met the same fate and I started running, only looking down at the floor below me to avoid slipping on mothballs. My vision was limited, though, and I fell a few times though I tried my best not to knock any more containers over. The scent of death had already almost completely overwhelmed the pungent mothball smell.

Through the persistence of fear, I'd almost gotten to the looming spiral staircase when a creak came from the other side of the basement.

I froze as Isaac called out "Helloooooo?" and began descending the stairs. Each footfall felt like a punch in the chest as I struggled to snap myself out of it and get moving again. I'd only need to pass through one more narrow passage and then turn the corner. I did my best to move quietly, quickly, but while still avoiding the mothballs. One fall could be it for me.

"You're not in trouble. I just want to talk. I promise." His voice was fake-gentle, almost sarcastic and annoyed. It made my heart race faster and faster. Still, I did my best to control my breathing, keeping low and quiet as I passed container after container, wondering again if they all held the same horror.

From upstairs, I could hear Amanda and the Twins calling out my name. Isaac had heard it, too, because I could no longer hear his footfalls on the concrete floor. By then, I was inching around the last corner. I peeked behind me one more time and saw someone sticking their head out at the end of the corridor. At first, I thought it might be Isaac - about to close the distance between us.

Then, I saw those glassy eyes. A shush escaped her decaying lips and she disappeared back into the darkness. I couldn't stop it - I just started to scream. Staying quiet, playing it safe, had completely gone out the window. Swear to God, I practically launched myself around the corner and towards the towering staircase, somehow avoiding the last of the mothballs without even trying. I ascended the twisting steps as quickly as my sore legs could take me. I couldn't bring myself to look back to see if the dead girl or Isaac were in pursuit, just keeping my eyes upward as the living room slowly came back into view. Amanda stood across the room, in the doorway. The Twins were nowhere to be seen.

"What are you doing? What did you do?"

Before I could respond, there was a loud but quick gasp from below. The noise itself practically propelled my body forward. I grabbed Amanda by the wrist and we ran back to grandma's house. Nobody followed. My sister continued to protest and beg for an explanation, but I said nothing as I grabbed the corded phone off the receiver and dialed 9-1-1.

It took a moment to get the dispatcher to take me seriously, believing at first that it was nothing more than a prank call. Eventually, I suppose the details were too much to ignore and the woman said she'd send a car over. She kept me on the phone while we waited, instructing me to lock both the front and back doors, and to stay away from the windows until we saw the blue and red lights of the cop car. By that time, Amanda had also realized that I wasn't joking and began to softly cry. "What if he hurts the twins? What if he hurts Ellie and Eddie?" I worried for them as well, but fear overcame worry.

Soon, we saw the flashing lights and watched from the front window as two cop cars came down the street, one pulling into our driveway and another continuing down to turn into Isaac's driveway. Our officer was a girl - short with light blonde hair tied high in a ponytail. She asked questions and I tried my best to give detail, but it was hard to focus as more cop cars pulled past, then an ambulance, then two. There would also be news vans, but that wouldn't come until later, when the word got out that a serial killer had been living among the quiet houses of that rural neighborhood.

Though not every tupperware contained a body, it was difficult to accept how many brutal murders he'd gotten away with. 15 women and girls, each with broken necks, over the span of six years. Isaac was smart - he'd put together the perfect cover family, only getting rid of his wife when she started to wise up to his awful deeds. He was charming, no doubt about it. Had my childhood curiosity not gotten the best of me, who knows how many more lives he'd end?

Speaking of lives ending - Isaac was found among the bodies that night, in the basement. Died of a heart attack, though there were whispers that his neck had been broken. The twins had locked themselves in their bedroom. Their father had taught them to do so whenever they heard commotion in the basement. They never knew what was taking place below the floors of their eerily bare home.

Somehow, our traumatic experience was enough to finally sober our wayward mother and tether her down. That was certainly the last time we ever had to stay with Grandma long term, and even in adulthood, I still avoid long visits if I can. The house still stands empty, unsellable with a reputation that so far precedes it, and I can barely look at it for fear that those glass eyes will be peeping out of the window.

[gaylotusthatexists]

rises the moon - part two

Pairings: currently no major ones, but eventually parental moxiety and intrulogical, possibly either royality or roceit but haven’t decided yet 

Summary: After running away from home, Virgil find the Forest, where he is appointed as the new Lord of Spring. 

Trigger Warnings: sympathetic deceit, remus mention

Word Count: 2k 

Taglist: imma just tag @theloveliestsweetspongy​ but if anyone wants to be tagged let me know 

previous || next || ao3

sun digs its heels to taunt you

Virgil froze, staring at the... animal? Person? Staring at the thing crawling out of the shadows. No, not crawling, walking. Like a human. But... it - he can't have been a human. 

He had horns, for a start. Two brown horns curling out of his head, his wavy hair sliding between them and falling over his... glowing red eyes. And he seemed to be surrounded by an... aura, an aura of something. A sparkling white light, covering his red dress like a sort of cape, or gown, or robe. And he was staring at Virgil, as if he was waiting for the right moment to strike. 

Virgil stepped back, cringing as he heard a quiet snap after stepping on a twig. But the person, thing, whatever he was just stepped closer to him. He tried to steady his breathing. 

"Who are you?" he asked, coming right up besides Virgil. 

Virgil gulped. "Um, my name's Virgil," he said, meekly. 

He frowned. "How did you get in the forest?" 

Virgil blinked. "I, um, I just sorta... walked in, I guess?" 

"Humans don't just walk into the forest," he said, a hint of bitterness in his voice. "Who are you, really?" 

"I told you, my name is Virgil." 

He frowned. "We'll see about that." He grabbed Virgil's wrist and began to drag him deeper into the forest, not really giving Virgil much of a choice but to follow. Virgil glanced back, noticing that he couldn't even see the entrance to the forest anymore - but that couldn't be right, because he'd only just entered the forest. He couldn't have walked in that deep already... right? 

"Could you maybe explain what's going on?" Virgil asked. 

The man - he must've been a person, if he was able to communicate with Virgil - huffed. "Don't act all innocent. You know exactly what's going on." 

"Actually, uh, I'm very confused about all this," Virgil said, eyes darting around and taking in as much as he could of the forest. It looked... somewhat normal, he supposed, but something felt off. 

"You're not fooling me," the man said. "I bet Remus sent you, didn't he?" 

Virgil blinked. "I, um, don't know anyone called Remus." 

"Don't play dumb with me," the man snapped. 

Virgil was silent for a moment, realising that the man wasn't going to listen. It was best to just go along with him at this point, maybe get this whole thing over and done with so he could leave the forest and continue his life. 

"Hey, any chance you could let go of my wrist?" Virgil wondered. "It's kinda hurting a little." 

The man glared at him. "Why should that be my problem?" 

"I-I dunno, I mean, you're the one kidnapping me, or whatever." He shoved his free hand in his pocket. 

" You're the one trespassing in our part of the forest," the man claimed, tightening his grip. 

Trespassing. Ah. That was something that Virgil had thought about earlier, wasn't it? Maybe walking through the field hadn't been such a great idea. 

"Listen, I'm sorry, okay?" Virgil said. "I didn't know this was your forest, or whatever. I was just walking and found this place." 

The man growled. "You don't just walk into this forest. I know that Remus sent you, you don't have to make excuses." 

Virgil sighed. "I literally have no idea who this 'Remus' guy is." 

"Remus. The Lord of Darkness. You know. The person you're working for." 

"I am seventeen years old and unemployed," Virgil said, only half-telling the truth - technically he did have a job, working retail for some extra cash, most of which they took away anyway, but he supposed he didn't have that job anymore. Since he ran away and all. 

The man laughed. "Seventeen, that's funny." 

Virgil frowned. "How is that funny?" 

"C'mon. I mean. You're fully grown." The man shook his head. "You must be at least five hundred, right? Maybe into the thousands." 

Virgil blinked. "That... You are joking, right?" 

The man stopped and turned his head to face Virgil. "You're not?" 

"Well, obviously I'm not joking, I don't think it's physically possible for me to be over five hundred years old." 

His eyes widened. "Wait, you're a human, aren't you?" 

"What else would I be?" 

"So... Remus didn't send you?" 

Virgil groaned. "That's what I've been trying to tell you!" 

He let go of his wrist. Sighing with relief, Virgil began to rub his wrist, glancing down to notice a red mark forming. 

"Could you please explain what's going on?" Virgil requested. 

The man sighed. "I suppose so. If you're really not with Remus." He bowed his head. "I'm Roman, Lord of Summer." 

Virgil snorted. " Lord of Summer ?" he repeated. "What's that supposed to mean?" 

Roman rolled his eyes, continuing to walk deeper into the forest. "It's kinda self-explanatory." 

Virgil ran to catch up with him, before slowing down and walking by his side. "Well. Not really. May I remind you that I have absolutely no idea what is going on." 

Roman looked over at him. "How did you get into the forest?" he asked, again. 

"I told you, I just walked in," Virgil said. 

"Huh." Roman looked ahead. "That's never happened before. I didn't even know humans could come into the forest." 

Virgil wondered if that meant that Roman himself wasn't a human, which in turn led him to question what the hell Roman actually was. He called himself the Lord of Summer , which must have meant something, right? And being the Lord of Summer also implied there were others 'Lords' - presumably of Spring, Autumn and Winter. 

Roman stopped walking, so Virgil did too, a little confused. They stood in front of a giant tree, so tall that Virgil couldn't even see the top. It's leaves had fallen, and had been replaced by icicles, with frost lining the branches. That didn't seem right. It didn't seem right at all. 

At the base there was a wooden door, which Roman walked towards and opened, stepping inside. Virgil followed him, becoming more confused by the second. Roman led him down a spiral staircase, carved out of the tree's wood, until they reached a large hall, almost like some sort of... throne room. 

At the end of the hall, another man sat on a chair, staring at the two of them with a scowl on his face. As the two approached the man, Virgil tried to get a closer look. His yellow eyes were surrounded by green scales, and he had a scar running all the way down the right side of his face. He wore a black shirt with yellow lacing, and a black cloak falling all the way down to the floor. He seemed angry. 

"Roman, who is this?" he asked, leaning forward in his chair. 

Roman bowed, kneeling down. "Prince Janus, Lord of the Forest, this is Virgil," he introduced. 

The man - Janus, Virgil presumed - frowned. "Is this one of Remus' servants?" 

Roman shook his head, standing back up again. "No. He's a human." 

"A human?" Janus smirked. "And how did a human get into the forest? Did you bring him here?" 

"No, your highness." Roman glanced at Virgil. "He says he just 'walked in'." 

Janus raised an eyebrow. "Interesting. Is that the truth?" he asked, turning to Virgil. 

Virgil cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah. I was walking and found a forest and walked inside." He paused. "Well, no, actually, I was kinda pulled inside by... I dunno, the wind, or something. But yeah, I walked here." 

"Pulled by the wind, you say?" Janus repeated. 

"Yeah." Virgil glanced down, refusing to look Janus in the eye, but he could still feel Janus’ gaze fixed upon him, digging into his skull. "There were leaves, or something. The wind picked up and... I dunno, I couldn't really control myself." 

Janus stood up, and stepped towards Virgil. He reached out a gloved hand and raised Virgil's head, forcing him to look into his eyes. He glanced over at Roman. "Do you think...?" 

Roman moved over to them, looking Virgil up and down. "He could be. But... he's a human. Can they..." 

"Call Logan," Daemon ordered. 

Roman nodded, and walked out the hall, leaving Virgil alone with Janus. Great. 

"Follow me," Janus instructed, beginning to walk to the side of the hall. Virgil followed, however reluctantly. They walked out of the hall and into a sort of garden, stopping once they reached a fountain. "Touch the water." 

Virgil frowned. "What?" 

"Touch the water," Janus repeated. 

Confusion only growing, Virgil reached out and let the tips of his finger fall onto the water's surface. He felt stupid, as Janus stared at him expectantly, but he wasn't about to argue against Janus. Roman had called him a Prince, so he must have been important, right? 

He drew back his hand in shock, as a small lotus flower bloomed on the water's surface. He looked down at his hands, beginning to grow tiny petals on his fingertips. 

"What... What did you do?" he asked, turning to Janus. 

Janus smirked, although he was unable to hide the excitement in his eyes. "I did nothing. That was you." 

Virgil felt his hands shake. He took a couple deep breaths to calm down. "What are you talking about?" 

Janus smiled at him, and then began to walk away, through another doorway on the other side of the garden. Virgil ran to catch up with him, slowing down as they entered another room. Four orbs were stationed in the middle - a glowing blue one decorated in snowflakes, a red one decorated in leaves, a yellow one decorated in a drawing of the sun, and a faded grey one decorated in dying flowers. 

"I'm... aware that you don't know much about the place you are in," Janus began, walking towards the orbs, "but I believe you may be of use to us. Here in the forest, we have the four Lords of the Seasons, who take turns in keeping the forest alive. I, myself, am the Lord of the Forest - I, of course, aid in keeping the forest alive, but mostly I'm here to rule. You've already met the Lord of Summer - Roman, as I'm sure you're aware, and soon enough you'll meet the Lords of Autumn and Winter - Patton and Logan." He picked up the grey orb. "We currently don't have a Lord of Spring." 

Virgil frowned, stepping towards Janus. "Why?" 

"That's... That's a story for another day," Janus said. "However, I believe you might be able to take his place." 

Virgil blinked. "Me?" 

"Yes. Hold this, please." 

He handed the orb to Virgil, who took it. It vibrated upon contact with his skin. But nothing else happened. 

Janus sighed. "Perhaps you're not ready yet." He took the orb back, putting it back in place. 

"Ready for what?" Virgil asked. 

Janus just smiled. "You'll find out soon enough. Come," he said, beginning to walk back towards the hall, "I'm sure Logan is ready by now. He'll have something to say." 

Virgil walked besides Janus. "Logan is the Lord of Winter, right?" he recalled. 

"Yes," Janus confirmed, "and he's been on the job for a hundred years." 

Virgil glanced down. "Is that... Is that because you don't have a Lord of Spring?" 

"What do you think ?"

"Ah." Virgil put his hands in his pockets. "Sorry." 

"Don't apologise," Janus said. "You're new here." 

They entered the hall. Roman stood there with another person - Logan, Virgil assumed - floating a couple feet off the floor. He had icy blue skin detailed with light blue cracks on his forehead, along with light blue hair in plaits either side of his face and one down his back. He wore an outfit very similar to Roman's - blue, floor length dress and a cape made from a light. A pair of rectangular glasses sat in front of his piercing blue eyes, and a chain with a moon charm hung around his neck. 

He floated towards Virgil, running his fingers down Virgil's cheeks. "Interesting."

[puckngrind]

Skating Lessons part 5

Summary: Zoo trip with some of the CBJ boys and things start to get serious after yesterday’s events.

Warnings: Swearing

Word count: 1537

Series Masterlist

Mason and Josh were sitting at Josh’s island both eating oatmeal while you stood in the kitchen leaning on the counter taking in the view.  Josh easily kept up conversation about the game last night and the newest hot wheel set Mason got that included dinosaurs.  While the boys talked you took in the surroundings.  The wet bar you remembered from before was empty.  The ice skates hanging near the door were gone and it looked like Josh moved his couch.  Did Josh really Mason-proof his apartment?  All the signs said he had.

“Earth to (y/n).  Come in (y/n)!”  Josh waves his spoon at you to bring you into the conversation.  “What do you think, huh?”  Josh smirks at you knowing you have no idea what him and Mason are wanting.  “You two can go home and get ready and then I’ll pick you up for a zoo trip?”  

“OH!  Uh, yeah.  I mean...yeah.  That sounds....Yeah.”  You spit out and Mason just starts giggling.  Josh joined in.

“Momma is funny isn’t she Mace?”  Josh rubbed Mason’s head.  “So is that a yes?”

“Momma pleeeeaaasseee!  Josh doesn’t know who Hank is!”  Mason almost bounced off the high stool he was perched on.

“How can I say no to that?”  You look at the boys high five and Mason whisper told ya to Josh.  

It didn’t take you long to get home and get both you and Mason ready before Josh arrived.  The drive to the zoo consisted of Mason talking your ears off about the animals he wanted to see at the zoo and in which order he wanted to visit.  Your barely touching knuckles with Josh sent shockwaves through your body and it was like he was speaking without words.  You realized that after all the walls and rules you put up for Mason were about to come crashing down when you walked around a public place with Josh AND Mason.  You really hadn’t even looked at social media since this morning but you were sure someone would notice Josh...and then you...and then Mason.  You don’t even realize that Josh was talking to you until he touched your face and you jumped.

“(y/n), you okay there?  We are here.”  Josh removed his hand from your cheek to point towards the entrance and when you look out the window you see Boone standing in front of the car.

“What’s Boone doing here?”  You snap out of the spiral of thoughts consuming your brain and look at Josh.

“I kinda invited the guys.  Seth and PL are coming too.”  Josh rubs the back of his neck like he does when he’s nervous or got caught.  “Hey Mace, ready?”

“You keep surprising me Anderson...”  Is all you say at you slip out of the car and hold Mason’s hand and enter the zoo.  

Mason quickly ditched you to drag the 4 professional hockey players around to all of his favorite animals.  Josh frequently dropped back and rubbed the back of his hand with yours.  Not enough to draw attention but just enough to make you clench your thighs together each time.  

“I’ve never seen four grown men being lead around by a four year old.”  You look at Boone as he stood next to while the others were trying to find the red panda in the trees.

“Well, I’m not sure PL is exactly grown.”  Boone chuckles and PL looks back at him and shoots him a glare before staring back up at the tree when Mason shouted that found one.  “but yeah, your kid is special.  Josh doesn’t shut up about him.”  Boone smiles.  

“It’s the truth.”  Seth moves to the other side as you head to the tigers.  Josh scooped Mason up and places him up on his shoulders.  “if you two don’t work out or whatever I think not seeing Mason might crush him.”  Seth grabs your elbow to keep you from walking with everyone.  “(y/n), seriously though.  I’ve known Josh for years and I’ve never seen him this happy and this invested before.  He loves you but he would do anything and I mean anything for you son.  Hell, he convinced Boone, Luc, and myself to come today so it didn’t look like a date incase someone posted another picture.  He freaked out last night thinking he had lost you because you want to protect Mason.”  Seth looks over to where Josh and Mason were measuring themselves against the tiger cutouts.

“Seth, how do you navigate all this?  Constantly in the spotlight?  Privacy?”  Seth puts his hand on your forearm again to stop questioning.

“You should talk to my mom.  She’s coming into town next weekend.  Seriously, she’s the one you should talk to.  She raised three boys in the shadow of my father.  So, if you are serious about this and want real advice, let me give my mom your number?  Ok?  Until then just embrace that.”  Seth pointed over to where Josh was kneeling on the ground talking to Mason about the elephants while PL and Boone leaned over them.  

“So that’s Hank huh?”  You hear Josh ask Mason.  “He’s so big and is he dancing?”  Josh laughs and Mason looks back at you.  

“Momma...Momma...Seth!  Come see Hank!”  Mason waves at you and Seth to join them.

Your phone buzzes and you look down.

Beth:  So, are are you? I know you read my text and I’m impatiently waiting for a response.  Are you fucking Josh Anderson?  Is this your secret man you refuse to talk about?

You snap a picture of Mason leaning into Josh.  Both glowing.  Send it to Beth.

You: It’s more than just that Beth.  We’ll grab coffee this week.  Okay?

“You okay?”  Josh moves behind you as you finish sending the message.  Looking down at your phone seeing the picture you just sent.  “Who did you send that to?”  You can feel the heat coming from his body.  

“My best friend, Bethany.  She saw...you know...the stuff from the game.  I haven’t exactly told her about you.”  You turn to face Josh as the rest of the boys try to keep up with Mason.  

“So...are we going to talk about this?  We haven’t exactly been alone since this morning.  I have morning skate tomorrow and we don’t leave for Boston until Tuesday morning.  Could your parents watch Mason tomorrow evening so we can go out or stay in?  I just want to talk before this small road trip.” Josh looks around surveying the crowd.  You hadn’t realized how much he had been keeping to your boundaries and rules.  Protecting you and Mason but even now when no one seemed to have recognized him he was looking out for you.  You threw caution to the wind and reached up to press your lips to his slightly.  “Uh...what was that?” “It’s called a kiss Anderson.  Or have you forgotten?”  You smack him on his abs while you walk towards where Mason and PL have giant ice cream cones.

“But...uh...we are in...”  Now Josh was the one lost for words.  You smile at him and take in his look.  Eyebrows furrowed, cheeks pink, eyes searching yours.

“I’ll ask my parents okay?”  You turned your attention to the ice cream.  “So who bought the children ice cream?  Huh?”  You chuckle grabbing out your phone to snap a picture.

“Oh Fu...dge”  PL looks at you, then at Mason, and back. “Please don’t tell Torts!  He’d bench me for a period for sure.”  

This caused the whole group rolled in laughter.

Walking back to the car Josh squeezed you to him as Seth held Mason’s hand in front of you.  “So my friends aren’t so bad huh?” 

“They are great, I mean for hockey players.”  You giggled.

“Oh really?  So thoughts on meeting my parents next?  I mean i’ve met yours and all?”  Josh didn’t even skip a beat walking.  

“In Toronto?”  Is all you squeaked out.

“Uh, no.  Here, Columbus.  They are sorta retired now so they come down for some games.  I kinda already told them about you and Mason...and well, they will be here this weekend.  So I figured you could meet them.  And Mason, if that’s cool?  I don’t know.  I just...”  

“And Mason?”  You cut Josh off but look down at your phone.  A Texas number you didn’t know sent you a text.

Text: Hey!  This is Amy Jones, Seth’s mom.  Seth told me you had some questions.  I’ll be in town this weekend if you want to grab some coffee or wine.  I’d love some girl talk.  

“Who is that?”  Josh watched as you read the message in the car.

“Amy Jones.”  You sounded shocked.

“Oh, she’s the best.  Why is she texting you?  Did Seth give her your number?”

“Um, I guess...wait how does Seth have my number?”  You look over at Josh as he pulls onto the main road.  You here Mason snoring in the back already.

“I kinda gave him it in case of emergency.  But why is his MOM texting you?” Josh glances at you.

“I have some questions about how to raise a kid in the spotlight.”  You simply told Josh.  Josh’s foot hit the break a little too hard at your words.

“You what?”

[orderuponthe99prettygrimmdiaries]

Break the cycle.

It’s been such a long while since I’ve been doing my writing, and I think that was a huge ass mistake. Been going down the spiral again, or have been for months. Friends have been feeling stressed for me too, and I absolutely fucking hate that I’ve been bringing them distress because I’m such a mess of figuring out my feelings and overthinking every single detail and scenario, etc. 

I’ve been thinking for a bit about what made me the way I am... Sometimes it feels like it was how I grew up. I mean, I love my parents, but there’s definitely some toxicity. I always suppressed myself - emotions, even being sick, because somehow the blame goes back to me. And growing up always being compared to that one cousin who does everything better, the critiques about every single little thing. The non-communication. Just arguments and quarrels, and then brush everything under the rug, pretend all is well. 

Which is why it scares me at how things are going with me and the guy I’m interested in... We don’t communicate much/well either. We don’t really have too much in common, we don’t really talk about much. Sure, the small talk is kinda sweet at times, the morning texts, someone checking if you’d eaten. Am I expecting too much too fast? Maybe because I feel like I don’t know him well enough that I can’t say that I truly like him. Maybe my confusion for my feelings confused him. My stress stressed him out. 

There’s also the disappearing mid convos, the selective replying, not initiating, not really keeping up convos... But for some reason I also can’t just let it go. I see it, but I brush it off. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe he was interested but thought I wasn’t interested. Maybe I messed up, maybe a bit too much that it can’t be fixed. 

Or am I just defending him again? Am I being blind-sided because of my feelings, because I’m holding on to the sense of comfort that he gave me when we spoke? Is it because I’m also clinging to the past, the fact that I didn’t try enough back when with the college guy, that he made me so anxious, that this time with this guy I felt comfort with, that I managed to try with, that is still somewhat sorta around? But I also shouldn’t let the past determine my present. 

This whole thing has been going on in a cycle for months. Us talking, things going good, he disappears for a bit, I worry and overthink. Sometimes I try again, sometimes I wait for him to return, and then tell myself to just keep it friendly, but then something happens and I fall again right back into this cycle. 

I thought I picked myself up enough and learnt to love myself. I really did. I was more open and chill, I didn’t really overthink, I had this period of peace and calm. But somehow my insecurities kick in and I seem to lose myself when I find myself catching feelings. I get afraid of how much I show my love that I pull back, and then I start to worry that they’re gonna leave. 

Maybe it’s also the fact that I’m almost 24 and haven’t been in a single relationship. I know, some people would say that’s alright. You don’t need a relationship and all that. But since a long time, I had always known I wanted to get married and have my own family. I wanted to be loved this way. 

Or am I holding on too hard/much? Maybe it’s time to just let it go.

It takes greater strength to truly let go. To resist not sending that one extra text. To stop talking about him, to stop thinking about him. I mean, if he cared, he would try too. He would check in. He would be there. But also, the odd thing is that he does check in at times. Does he still want to keep me as a friend but nothing more? Also, why am I clinging to the bare minimum? Maybe he was interested before but moved on. Things change, people change. It does seem like he’s not really interested in really talking or meeting anymore and is just trying to let me down easy. Maybe it’s just time to come to terms that: He’s Just Not That Into You (yep back to this movie again, and a heartbreak playlist too).

But then again, it’s unfair of me to make the decision for him if he’s never even given the option. I can’t be the one who decides that I’m too much for him or too much of a mess, I can’t be the one who decides whether this is too much of an effort, or something we could work with together. 

Should I tell him? If i do, it might be awkward and weird, good news is at least I don’t really see him around at work anymore. Things probably won’t be the way it was. It might also turn out good. Or I could lose him as a friend forever. 

Also trying to balance wanting to keep him as a friend while moving on. I can’t exactly avoid or ignore him if I hope to stay friends, and it’s not on him since I haven’t told him what I’m feeling. 

Or we could just leave it up to fate? If it works out, it works out. If it’s meant to be, well... But this was something I also considered back then, instead of just leaving it to fate, what if I fought harder? 

See, this is how much I’ve been overthinking every scenario and possibility. I’m truly thankful for my friends for their support and advice, especially when I’ve caused them distress too. Which I’m truly sorry for too. Not just to them, but to my parents, family, colleagues and more. 

I haven’t been myself lately. I’ve noticed that I went from my sunshine personality to stormy again... Being more tired exhausted, the loss of appetite, the mood swings, the sadness, the anger. But then looking at the pics that I’ve taken with friends, that smile. How do I wear my mask so well? 

I had really neglected myself this time while I was busy chasing him, along with the whole stress of work and its changes. Learning to go back and noticing my thoughts, separating myself from them, learning to cope with my overthinking and expectations. Going back to breathing exercises to calm my anxiety. 

And a close friend just told me that I’ve completely changed. Yes, I’m being more open nowadays, but then I’ve been a mess with all these guys and relationship stuff. I’ve been letting myself be more open and befriending guys, but not with the intention of dating, maybe I should be clearer about that? But i mean.. guys and girls can be friends, can’t we? 

But okay, prior to this moment, which I totally agree with her that I’m losing my shit, I was feeling better. I feel like I’ve finally let go some of my expectations (again), and I’m starting to see a glimpse of the old me again. It’s not as painful or upsetting anymore that he isn’t around, I’m just thankful that we’re talking. I’m focusing on other stuff, I’m not dwelling, and I’m able to say or initiate without worrying too much. Maybe that’s just what it has to be. 

I was even able to ask my friend/colleague to eat and chill, super impromptu too (learning from these boys now). It was nice and I really wanted his advice about this whole thing, but I didn’t really know how to. He did ask about him, since they got to see each other kinda briefly, but I guess I didn’t know how to bring it up. And he also had to leave to continue work. Maybe tomorrow. 

And also finally getting to talk to my counsellor again after all these months, maybe even a year or so. It was nice to finally tell her about it, especially the guy stuff, since she knew how things went with the college guy back then. I never tried, I never told him. At least this time I’m trying, still unsure about the telling. But anyway, she said she’s proud of me, and that really meant a lot. 

Also took the step back to 7 Cups, and I found this article about how when we get afraid of hurting others, we in turn cause ourselves anxiety: 

Everywhere you go, you walk on eggshells. You censor each thought, editing your words carefully. You overthink your every move, questioning yourself over and over again. Somehow, your interactions with others never go smoothly, and your conversations always seem to take more effort than they should. That’s what it’s like to live in fear of hurting others. It’s hard to be yourself when you’re constantly worried about how other people will perceive what you have to say and do. When your fear of hurting someone else’s feelings is stronger than your desire to bring who you are and what you think to the surface, life becomes a whole lot tougher.

It’s understandable and commendable to care for others to be mindful of how you treat the people you care about. But it becomes an issue when your sensitivity to what others want makes you suppress what you are truly looking for. Do you find it intolerable to hurt someone you love, even if it’s unintentional? Do you experience shame, guilt, or concerns about being a bad person, and as a result, you avoid saying what’s on your mind and push away your feelings? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you’re probably suppressing yourself. This can be bad for your relationships and can create chronic anxiety in your life.

I’ve also went back to look at some of my old posts, hopefully to get the courage, the reminder that next time I found myself catching feelings, I would tell them. Did come across this nugget from my counsellor: there’s only 3 ways - move on, let it be, or do something. With the college guy, I let it be, I moved on, I had faith that if we were meant to be, we’d find our way back. But speaking with her today, she seems to think it’s not necessary to tell this guy since I’m unsure about it, but if I did want a clear answer, I should. 

Now to take a long shower and decide what’s the best move. Or just to clear my mind. Would go for another walk but went for 2 already today, which I should really make a daily thing, despite being exhausted from work. It’s therapeutic, just as writing this was. It’s time to push myself to do things again, of course not overly that it strains my mental health, but it’s time to break the cycle. 

Thanks for anyone who actually bothered to read any part or the whole of the long ass ramble. Hope everyone is doing alright amongst the whole covid pandemic. 

X

[affectionatealien]

Puppet Thieving

Summary: Flower protag has reached a new peak of stress trying to juggle helping out the habiticians and deal with Dr. Habit’s constant antagonizing behavior. They rope Tim Tam into helping them with a very dumb spur of the moment idea and find themselves regretting it near instantly. 

Warnings: None

A/N: I don’t ever write but like. Smile For Me has really put me in the mood for it sdfjakldsa. So here’s something featuring my flower kid sona having dumb puppet troubles.

It had been a nervewracking morning. Noon was approaching and I was still waiting on the terrace, and not quite as patiently as I was for the couple of hours before. I still hadn't seen Tim Tam, and I couldn't help but feel terribly sick at the idea they might have been caught for the dumb, dumb thing I roped them into doing (though, if I was being fair to myself, it was something Tim Tam still might have done without my interference).

It all started with another morning PSA- the expected 'advice' Habit gave out in his attempt to keep all the habiticians down and in need of this place, and some sort of decreasingly passive and mountingly aggressive message that almost everyone had figured was aimed at me. And, above all that, that damn puppet. Expressionless, taunting. He'd never shown his own face on camera, just that goofy little muppet rendition of himself. I couldn't help but wonder if he didn't have the dumb thing if he'd make so many of these PSAs. Or maybe if it... Disappeared he'd have to come looking for it, stop being holed up in his office. Or at the very least he'd become distraught enough to take some sort of focus away from trying to discourage me from what I'd been doing. But it was wishful thinking. There wasn't any way to get that thing away from him. Unless you were Tim Tam. Or unless you could bribe Tim Tam. Tim Tam could probably be bribed, right? 

As it turned out, Tim Tam COULD be bribed. And with what seemed to just be random junk out of my bouquet, too. Or maybe they were just that excited about getting to steal something that they didn't really care. Knowing (or more accurately, not knowing) Tim Tam, I was better off not pondering too long. However they were still gone, and it was enough to make me worry. I didn't think it would take that long to get into Habit's office, and maybe it didn't and they were just dilly dallying elsewhere. If they were, I suppose I really wasn't able to complain. What I knew though was that the more time that passed the worse of an idea it dawned on me this was. Why involve some kid in some bizarre, almost one sided feud with this strange doctor? Was I really that petty and unthinking? 

"Hey." A tiny voice snapped me out of my catastrophizing, while something was shoved into my back. "Found him." Sure enough I turned around, face to face with Tim Tam- and the blank expression of a green little puppet (or maybe not so little- it was odd how much bigger the thing looked in person). Perfect. I snatched it from them, perhaps a little rudely, but there were cameras and I didn't want to get caught right then. Tim Tam continued to linger, and had produced a lighter from... Somewhere. "Let's teach him a lesson." 

"AH! W-wait!" I blurted out, as I snatched the puppet into the air. Not that I was sure that would stop a determined Tim Tam. "We- I need to do this. I'll get rid of this dumb thing myself." I said, firm. "Besides, I'm the one he seems hellbent on antagonizing. It's only fair." Tim Tam stood motionless for a moment, expression unchanging, before returning the lighter to an unseen pocket.

"Fine. You owe me." That wasn't a problem, since I'd arrived here I was doing people favors. What was one more? I gave them a quick 'okay' sign, before I retreated back to the apartment floor. The puppet had been stuffed under my arm as stealthily as possible, which was to say not very stealthy in any way. I got lucky and didn't run into anyone on my beeline to my room, and once I was in shut the door, locking it. A wave of relief washed over me as I flopped onto my bed- so far this hadn't gone nearly as disastrously as my previous spiraling made me think it would. With the puppet in hand, I turned it over carefully, examining it, trying to decide what I would do to it. If I burned it that would be satisfying, but an incredibly bad idea since I was indoors. Defacing it would be easy enough, all I needed was a sharpie or some paint for that, but maybe that was too simple. I could just pull it apart, or...

That train of thought seemed to fizzle out, as my will seemed to falter. The more I looked at it, the more I thought about how well made it seemed to be... Had Habit made it himself? Was it that important to him? Why did that even matter now? I'd set out to get rid of this thing for some peace of mind and I should do it. But I couldn't. Instead all I thought about now was Tiff talking about the doctor's wailing and crying when she'd bring up her contract. When he noticed his puppet was gone is that what he'd do? Would he search for it, distraught and upset, resigned to sobbing once it wasn't anywhere he'd searched? Sheesh, if the plans I had for that puppet weren't already guilt inspiring, that imagery was the icing on this awful cake. I looked the puppet over again, trying to see if even a shred of hostility could be mustered. Instead, all I could think was how when it wasn't being used to mock or instigate things with me it was awfully cute even... A reminder of that soft side Kamal seemed to insist exists somewhere in the doctor. 

And it dawned on me. The crumpled, trashed diary pages I was given every so often by other habiticians that had originally inspired some pang of sympathy before Habit became outright hostile, paired with this- Habit wasn't the cold, easy to fight antagonist who needed to be confronted and triumphed over like I'd tried to make myself believe he was. It was much more complicated than that. He was hurt, most likely lashing out, and it could be stopped. I knew from experience, I knew from being there. And trying to hurt him or stuff he obviously found important wouldn't help. It'd just make him buckle down on his belief that I was the enemy, and that I was someone coming after him personally. I had to change it somehow- I had to show him I'm not. 

I sighed, resigned, and placed the puppet carefully onto my bed before sitting next to it. That wasn't exactly the best time to have this revelation, seeing that I had well. Still stolen the puppet. What was I supposed to do with this thing if I wasn't going to just toss it out the window? There was no way for me to get to his office to return it. And Tim Tam would certainly destroy it if I gave it back to them. I was left with the evidence of a crime I couldn't even bring myself to commit. Still, I stared at the little puppet, trying to think of anything I could do to get it back to him, or at the very least tell him I was sorry. Not that he'd care probably, but I had to at least try if I wanted my plan to work. 

I still had my sketchpad with me from home, so I tore a page from it- maybe I could leave the puppet with a note somewhere inconspicuous for him to find it. That might work. So I stared at the paper for what felt like too long, and tried to come up with a satisfactory explanation or apology or anything to say. Instead, all I found myself able to write was a simple 'I'm sorry'- nothing quite seemed to come to mind after that. How very eloquent I was, god. With a resigned sigh, I left the note with the puppet. I might as well go spend the rest of my day somewhere else and try not to think about this just yet. 

After a bit of wandering, I found myself back on the terrace- it had been a sunny day and god knew I needed something like that. There was a soft breeze too, which only added to the wistful vibe the terrace seemed to have.  From where I was standing I saw Kamal in his regular spot- and at the moment it felt like talking to him might be a good idea to clear up some of what was on my mind. "Oh- Hey flower kid. You find the old janitor's ID yet?" Kamal asked as I approached. I shook my head, I had still been helping others out and hadn't really gotten around to finding him at the moment. I opted to sit next to him on the bench he'd practically taken up residence on, and earned a stare and a tilt of his head. "Is uh. Something bothering ya...?" He asked again, looking a little more concerned than usual. I gave a resigned nod, trying to gather my thoughts. "Kamal... You said you know a lot about Dr. Habit because you worked for him right?" I asked.

"Well. Yeah. I told you, I have all kinds of dirt on the guy-" 

"Not that. You said you thought I could talk to him because he's... Got that soft spot and all. How was he when he was... Like that?" It took me a moment to find the words, but Kamal seemed to follow, especially with how he was taken aback.  

"Well, for starters I guess, he was uh. Always pretty friendly. I mean I was just the guy's assistant but he always treated me a little more like... A friend? Though it uh, could be pretty awkward, he was well meaning I guess." Kamal recalled. "And Habit is way into like... Any artsy crafty stuff. I mean, I'm sure you've seen all the murals of himself he put up. I was there when he did a lot of them and he sorta just. Went to town with that kinda thing. It's probably the happiest I've seen him you know?" 

"Yeah... So, does that mean he made that little puppet too...?" 

"I mean, I'd imagine he did. That thing was around before I was though, so who knows. How come...?"

"A-ah. No reason at all. Just was... On the mind I guess." I replied, perhaps a little too quickly.  

"So uhh, what's up with the sudden interest in Habit...? Last I talked you kinda seemed pretty mad at him..."

"I was but... Uh, I guess things have changed. Kinda. I just... I dunno, I'm trying to find some kinda insight on why he's doing this. Why me existing is something he takes so personal and whatever." 

"Ohhh. I gotcha. Well, I mean for starters you're kinda out here doing what he's been trying to for awhile... Probably doesn't feel great to watch some stranger come in and accomplish what you've been working at for years." He pointed out. I nodded understandingly- of course he'd take something like that so gravely. "...And if it helps any, even if it seems well, personal, I don't think he really feels that way about it. I think him acting like that has well... A lot more to do with the state of mind he's been in. Like I said, the dude hasn't been doing exactly great."

"That makes sense yeah... It sounds like stuff's been. Sorta crumbling for him lately." I said. Not a necessarily astute observation, but it's all I could really think to say.

"Sheesh, you can say that for sure. Stuff's gotten uglier and uglier. But... I really do think you can help him. You've certainly got a knack for it and all. And something makes me think he'll listen to you, too." Kamal reassured. I gave him a weak smile, which he returns for a split moment. 

"Thanks. I really needed to hear that I think... This has been pretty insightful, so uh. Thanks again and all." 

"Don't mention it! Just remember we should probably get going with this whole 'get into his office' plan pretty soon... The way things have been it's uh. Certainly better sooner than later." Kamal reminded me. I nodded as I stood, and gave a short wave as I left the terrace.

The rest of the day passed quickly in the lounge with a couple of drinks and a head full of thoughts- curfew had come before I knew it and I'd found my way back to my room, tired from what felt like too full of a day. And there on my bed, was that poor hostage of a puppet. I couldn't help but pick it up, almost absentmindedly as I settled into bed, looking it over again. 'It's so soft...' I thought to myself, touching its felted face. For a moment it reminded me of the plush collection I had back home, and how I maybe regretted not bringing any of it with me. It certainly made sleeping easier, which was something I could use more than anything considering how restless this place would leave me. 

'No. Absolutely not, I will NOT let myself.' I thought while staring down the puppet. Things were already strange enough, and to be teetering on the edge of letting myself cuddle this... Felted double of the man who I had to help despite his antagonistic nature, on the pretense of maybe sleeping better was beyond ridiculous. Even if it WAS soft and I WAS petting a hand over its hair as I tried desperately to dissuade myself. Well maybe it wouldn't be as weird if I just left it next to my pillow. And just put one hand over it. That wasn't cuddling it so obviously it was fine, nothing weird to see here. I just had to lay  like that and try to decide whether or not I'd toss it on the floor like I probably should have. Unless I drifted off, still undecided with the little puppet laid next to me, its little hands flopped over mine.... Which is exactly what happened.

I couldn't remember ever sleeping well enough to be awoken by the morning PSA, instead always waking a few minutes before it would start, feeling drowsy and unrested. But that's exactly what happened that morning- I awoke to that familiar tune, tacky yellow font, and.... That puppet? Weird, this was a new one. Had he recorded this before his puppet was gone? 

Once I was more awake, I was aware that the puppet had vanished from its spot next to me- peering over the bedside confirmed that it wasn't shoved into the floor like I'd emptily threatened before sleeping either. Not under the bed, or anywhere else in the room either. Had someone... Taken it?

That did seem to jog my memory. But it's of a dream, from the night before... Or what feels like one at the least. One of my own room, dark and quiet and still. I wasn't alone, a figure hovered quietly. It was tall, looming, but not quite menacing- it seemed somber. Maybe thoughtful. It reached for the puppet, but not before sliding my hand from on top of it, like it was careful to not disturb me too much. It stayed for another moment, and it almost seemed... Remorseful? But what for? And with the puppet, it vanished.

The rest of the PSA played, and for once, it didn't have any 'special message' for me. How strange.

[serenagaywaterford]

what was that moment when you realized 'oh, they could actually work' moment for serena and june???? i was in the middle of binging season 2 when i just went 'oh my god june and serena.' then now i'm in this spiraling hole. by the way i'm so excited for more fanfiction from you

Hmm….. That’s tough. When I started shipping them is actually different than when I convinced myself they could actually work, I suppose.

2x04.

THAT moment.

And I am aware how awful this is. Very aware – thanks, any lurking Nick fangirls, no need to let me know! I know it’s a creepy fucking scene and it’s not meant to be loving or sexy in any way whatsoever.

TOO BAD.

It was when Serena crawled into June’s bed and did this shit. But I remember mostly it was when they focused on her hand slowly moving down and I turned to my wife and said, “OH MY GOD! They’re gonna go there! WHAT IS SHE DOING?! LOOK!!!” And she told me to shut the fuck up, why do you have to make everything gay. That’s when I knew I was a goner, lol. Like, bitch, watch closer and validate my lesbian fantasies okay. OUT OF CONTEXT especially this is scene is like, “Oh, they’re together.” Sorta.

(I would also like to point out that the wifey recently (as in during S3) said, “Why exactly aren’t they fucking already?” about June/Serena and she NEVER says shit like that. Her excuse is that the show is already ridiculous enough as it is now, there’s no reason why that would be out of the realm of possibility for such a stupid show. So, not the best reasoning, lol, but even the woman who adamantly refuses to “ship” anything ever and thinks I’m an idiot every time two women are on screen together and I go “But!!! Look!!! They should be together!” thinks June and Serena just just stop the games and start banging already. I consider that the final frontier. Dear THT, if you’ve managed to convince her–the woman who despises things like this, then it’s possible.)

SO, anyway, yeah. 2x04 was when I began hating myself and wondering what was wrong in my head that I thought June/Serena would be a healthy, fun idea to get involved with. Cos, trust me, I think every single June/Serena shipper has gone through that phase of, “Holy shit, no. This is so wrong, it’s so bad, it’s so sick, how dare I? What a traitorous brain I have! I know Serena is a horrible human being and their relationship is so fucked up, so toxic, so unbalanced……. but here I am. Flopping around in the trash.” Quietly. On the dl, cos if I said anything out loud, the internet (aka the rest of THT fandom) would kill me.

And they tried, of course. Once I got some courage to be like, I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK. I SHIP THE MONSTER AND JUNE. They were very effective at first. Before I realised, I’m too old for this bullshit and it’s the fucking internet, who gives a shit what a bunch of other morons online say about me and my FICTIONAL SHIPPING PREFERENCES lmao.

But yeah

^^ my other blog, October 5, 2018. The first June/Serena post I reblogged. The next was The Creepy Scene from 2x04. So, that’s where it began.

Now, in terms of when I thought, “Hey… but, maybe… this could be an actual thing?”

Probably 2x08. I mean, in retrospect and rewatches, 2x06 is obvious. But I remember watching 2x08, especially the beginning (”we could be colleagues”/”she seems pretty fucking happy”), Serena giving June the rose, and then the end when June whispers “Serena” at the door, and going, “Hmm... This is... going in a good direction I like.” Like, of course, I didn’t want to say anything cos it seemed like it’s something fandom would crucify me for. Until I saw a few brave souls speak up. (Now every episode is gay af Serena to me.)

BUT...

I don’t think I fully embraced my trash panda reality until post-s2 however when i posted this gem.

hot take: serena joy is a big giant lesbian and just doesn’t realise it

18/07/18 | 4 NOTES

#I KNOW IT SEEMS REALLY FUCKING CRAZY BUT BEAR WITH ME #NO ACTUALLY. I DON’T FEEL LIKE EXPLAINING MYSELF. #NOBODY INTERACT LOL #NO SERIOUSLY I COULDN’T BE LESS INTERESTED IN STARTING ~~DISCOURSE~~ #INSERT THAT BUTTERFLY JPG. IS THIS A JOKE? #ONLY I KNOW.

So, nothing much has changed, heh. 

AND THEN I WENT TO AO3.

It was all over after that and I saw my tribe actually exist, in their tiny little corner of the world.

Now, am I actually convinced they could actually work as a couple? Like, in canon? Ehhhh... Not convinced tbh. Not with the way they insist on writing Serena, or June at this point. Only in headcanon for now, where Serena actually develops a spine and empathy and remorse. Like, for me, Serena MUST change, quite drastically for me to entertain it as anything but inherently fucking toxic and unhealthy (although, arguably, it could never, ever be healthy considering their past together). That’s all there is to it. So, fanfic it is since canon sucks.

[sebbybooks]

Somewhere in Paradise (PT3)

Sebastian Stan x Fanfiction ~18

Warnings: Language, Smut

Tagged for updates🍓

@spideyhoecoming @bashfulshy @blueenemy24 @asguardiansoftheavengers @mightiestheroes @ladifreakingda

A/N: I’m back!💕💕🌻🌻💋💋💜💜🌈🌈Life has been busy lately. It’s taken me a while to update and I wanna say a quick thank you to those who have stayed updated with this story. In the beginning I mentioned how I intended on making this just one part, then it sorta spiraled out of control. This part you’re about to read has probably been my favorite to write. Due to the cliffhanger, yes there will be a next part if anyone is still curious to see how it all ends. Believe me when I say there is an ending!🖤

“Promise me you’ll never forget me,

because if I thought you would,

I would never leave.” -A.A.M

Chills ran down my spine.

I’m not sure how long I had been standing in the middle of his hotel room when the realization of what I had found finally sunk in. Sebastian was the one who had stolen my journal this entire time and had been lying to me for days on top of it. I didn’t want to believe what I was seeing, but the proof was right in my hands. I couldn’t overlook the fact it was the same color and that on the bottom lefthand corner my name was etched across in gold calligraphy. I sucked in a tortuous breath inhaling slowly, that nearly got trapped in my airway. Which could have easily strangled me. Well maybe not in real life, but in a literary emphasis it definitely could have! Do I even hear myself? I’m editing my reality to make it sound like a work of fiction that I would write! Un-fucking-believable.

I started to walk but my feet turned to heavy lumps of lead. I physically couldn’t move and that worried me the most. Something inside of me was fighting against my better judgment. It wasn’t just one thing keeping me molded to the floor, there were many. I couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of emotions that attacked me from all sorts of directions. I was furious with Sebastian. He had taken a tangible piece of my soul to probably use for his own twisted personal gain. He had confessed to me that he knew in the beginning who I was and what seeing me meant to him. But who knows that could have been a lie! So why would he go out of his way just to pretend to like me? As soon as the doubt entered my thoughts it suddenly dawned on me that maybe his intentions were clear as day and I just refused to see them.

Shame on me for letting Sebastian kiss me in the first place my first night here in Capri. It was the lone ripple effect that led me here. The second he pulled away he looked at me like kissing me was freeing, but equally a reminder of his pain. I started to laugh hysterically at the idea that he might’ve even felt something for me. For a hot second in the cave it sure as hell felt that way. There was something about him that intrigued me more than I thought possible. Like a phantom feeling I could still feel Sebastian’s hands grappling my body for dear life. Seconds ticked away in a tortuous silence as Sebastian eyed my parted lips in anticipation of him. The hairs of his short beard brushed lightly against my face before he finally put me out of my agonizing misery. Feverishly kissing him back, I ran my tongue through the small entrance to meet his.

His mouth meticulously explored mine with desperation that I nearly couldn’t keep up with. Almost as if he was trying to memorize the shape of my lips. My hands were strained against his back, pulling at the material on his soddened shirt. Sebastian palmed the back of my head to deepen the kiss. Whatever came over me in the blue grotto was beyond me. It was as though my entire body all of a sudden lusted after his. I acted briefly like he was someone I could have and I kissed him back as if I was searching for something that only Sebastian could give me. 

This trip was something that I was suppose to do on my own. I realized I had been caught up in my own world of storytelling that I stopping living my reality. I needed something new and fresh to shake up my creative senses. I didn’t ask for this in return. Sebastian was just a detour in my mind. I was never meant to come here with him. I just needed to remind myself that next time I think about sucking faces!

He was the most closed off person I had ever met. Which in return was equally frustrating. Who by the way was still visibly in mourning. I was just a casualty in his journey through his grieving stage. I wouldn’t be able to fill Bianca’s shoes even if I wanted to, which to be clear I don’t. The best thing I could do for myself was to pretend like this was a really bad dream. A bad draft during my editing stage. Revise, rewrite, start over. I could salvage my trip but first thing first was to find my room key that he took and then get the hell out of here.

I had to be quick about my search, but my dress felt like it kept tackling on pounds and it made it harder for me to walk around in. I kept tripping over my own two feet every time I walked forward. I searched around his hotel room looking through every single dresser drawer in sight. I checked under the bed, and in his duffel bag where he clearly kept his contraband. My heartbeat at that point was beating so loudly in my ears. It was like all my worst fears came to life. I couldn’t find my hotel key anywhere and it felt like I was existing in a scene out of a cheesy horror flick, starring me Natalie Foster the dumbstruck damsel.  

I looked back towards the bathroom to check to make sure the door was still closed. When I turned back I stumbled into a table leg stubbing my toe painfully hard. Who's idea was it to put that that there and why am I such a klutz?! I grunted out a string of curse words as the pain slowly subsided in my foot. I heard the water turn off as Sebastian’s voice filled the room. “You okay out there?”

I didn’t answer him. My voice failed to work. I decided to forget the room key altogether and leave. I would just go back to my room to pack my bags and find somewhere else to stay. I was halfway to the door when I felt Sebastian’s presence behind me. Damn he was quick. I froze in my tracks unable to walk through the door. I was mortified at the situation I somehow tangled myself in. Scenes like this usually end bad. I turned around afraid to see a murderous look behind his eyes. When I saw his face to my surprise there was only worry.

“I heard a loud sound so I came to check on you to make sure you didn’t see anymore bugs.” A slow lopsided smile formed across his face as the memory of what happened on the boat tried to squeeze at my heartstrings. Sebastian was gripping a white towel that was barely held together around his well defined waistline. His body looked like someone took a carving utensil and created hard and detailed grooves over his abdomen. The towel was hanging dangerously low. He clutched on to it careful not to take his eyes off of me. I drank in the vision of his bare chest that was still soaking wet from his shower. The tiny anchor pendant that he wore around his neck which Sebastian never took off dangled against his chest. My fingers were just itching to trace along the polished silver on the aged charm. Until I quickly forced myself to snap out it.

This wasn’t the time to develop wandering eyes but if his greatly physiqued body would be the last thing I would see then I gladly give thanks to the universe for sending me this final gift! His body glistened with droplets of water that fell all the way down to the happy trail of dark hair going south. Stop, stop, STOP! I scolded myself for not taking this more seriously. I am obviously trapped in a ghastly predicament and I’m drooling over a thieving criminal.

“I found this.” I said hazily. Patience certainly wasn’t my strong suit and I don’t know where I dug the courage to speak, but I procured it. Sebastian looked back at me with a raised brow that showed no indication of what I was talking about. I held my journal up and his easy going smile disappeared.

ONE YEAR LATER

I looked out at the sky and watched as tiny stars began to appear across the water. I had never stopped to take the opportunity to marvel at how transcendent it is to simply watch the sun kiss the moon goodnight. I had it in my head that it was a love affair between two entities that could never truly exist together. No matter how close in proximity they may have appeared up close if you really payed attention it was all just an optical illusion. They never touched and they would never last for much long.

“I took a wild guess and knew I’d find you out here.” The warm and familiar voice made the ambience even more peaceful somehow. Despite the sudden sinking feeling I felt in my chest.

“Prettiest view on the island.” I sighed. I scooted to the end of the bench to make room beside me. He picked up my hand as he sat down and kissed the side of my head in an endearing gesture. We both turned our heads back to gaze at the shimmering moon.

“Are you going to open it?” Alessio's voice was barely above a whisper. I didn’t understand what he was talking about until I noticed the white envelope he covertly placed in my lap. I was most definitely confused by it because while it was addressed to me. The letter was from no other than Bianca.

“Natalie I can explain.” His tone was laced with a calmness I didn’t expect. I had heard those words before from him. Sebastian probably already had an excuse ready to recite. An I didn’t give him the chance to act out his performance.

“You know you almost had me fooled.” I stated in disbelief. “Just tell me Sebastian what were you going to do with it? Did you read it for shits and giggles or were you planning on selling it?” I asked bluntly, my voice was starting to shake.

“Is that what you think I would do?” He asked tightly.

I was at war with myself over that question. My stomach flipped erratically from the way he looked at me. I had every intent on being the one with the upper hand in this situation. Sebastian’s bemused expression caught me off guard. If any thing he was the one that looked offended.

“I honestly don’t know what you would do!” I said in wary voice. “That night I asked if you had it you looked me in the eyes and blatantly lied to my face. I know it must be an insignificant object to you, but it’s important to me and you stole it! You must look at me and laugh at how gullible I am.” I said breathlessly.

I waited to see if the armor of guilt would shed. His piercing glare was almost too intense to stand in front off. I expected him to grovel and beg for my forgiveness while offering some sorry ass apology along with it. “So you figured it out then huh?” Sebastian laughed unfeeling.

Sebastian moved a little closer to me, his face had changed to a stony expression. By the way he was assessing me made me tremble under his scrutiny and it wasn’t from fear. Nothing about his intimidating presence screamed dangerous. I was more terrified that I would do something stupid.

“What else am I suppose to think? I found it hiding in your bag and you said nothing!” I swallowed back nerves that felt never ending.

Sebastian’s overcast blue eyes narrowed on my face studying my reaction as I gripped my journal down beside me. From the looks of the situation from a third eye’s perspective I should’ve been a little apprehensive about being alone with a half naked man that I met a little over two and a half weeks ago. We were both visibly seething with pent up frustrations for one another and yet I couldn’t seem to leave well enough alone.

“It's rather insulting that you think so little of me and assume I would ever do anything to misplace your trust.” His expression softened like I had wounded a part of him.

The entirety of the situation was enough to give me whiplash. I didn’t know whether to slap him or wish that damn towel would magically fall off. For now I was stuck wanting both. “You can’t honestly blame me! It was in your bag!” I repeated sternly.

“Do you remember the morning after breakfast the day you lost it?” Sebastian asked, but he didn’t wait for an answer from me. “I spent all morning helping you look for it. Together we retraced our steps all the way back to Alessio’s restaurant. When our search came up empty right before we left I asked him to keep an eye out for it just in case it turned up.” As Sebastian talked I started to recall the moments when we nearly spent the second half of our day in Capri looking for my journal.

“None of that explains how it came into your possession.” I said defensively. Unsure of how the story would play out I had a feeling I would be eventually swallowing my tongue by the end.

Sebastian spoke up quickly cutting through my accusations. “This morning I had got a call from someone at the restaurant. One of his bartenders was reading it when he was suppose to be working. Alessio recognized the name on the journal and he remembered that you had lost the exact same one. He had someone bring it over to the hotel right before I went to your room. I had every intention of giving it back to you over dinner tonight as a surprise.” Sebastian sighed in exhaustion.

Sebastian’s words were hitting me like a ton of bricks. I had a hunch that weasel no scratch that! Son of a bitch (much better phrasing Natalie) took my journal the second he didn’t want me looking around the bar! I was too preoccupied tossing back limoncello shots to notice that when he wasn't mixing drinks he was also a kleptomaniac! My heart quickly started to sink in my chest. I wanted to be a giant bubble that would at any given second pop.There was an awkward pause then Sebastian said, “Well?” He gave me a pointed stare.

“Well what?” I asked feeling a thousand percent embarrassed. I had just accused him of stealing and for as long as I’ve know him he hadn’t given me reasons to think otherwise. Which frankly isn’t long at all. 

His eyes closed and the muscle in his jaw worked profusely. “Why didn’t you give me the benefit of doubt Natalie? It was like you were ready to believe the worst in me.”

I began to move forward but stopped in my tracks. The damp fabric that clung to every particle on my skin was the most gross feeling. I had to control my teeth from chattering I was so cold.

“Answer the goddamn question Natalie!” His demanding voice was rasped. My body sagged with guilt and I shrugged my shoulders unable to give him the answer he wanted. Sebastian regarded my silence as a way of saying what he needed to hear. He bit down on his bottom lip shaking his head vehemently, and started to walk backwards leaving me.

“Wait.” I reached forward not thinking as I grabbed ahold of his wrist. Sebastian stared at my hand like it had scales. Clearing my throat I quickly released my firm grip on him. “If it were you in my place how would you have reacted? I don’t know that much about you apart from you being someone who takes too many risks and doesn’t think twice about anything.”

Tilting his chin as if I had just said something amusing. “If only you knew the whole story .” He said with a pained expression. There was a weird pull between us. One minute we were arguing the next I would be dying to know why he looked like someone just died. No shit Natalie. . .someone did die.

“Tell me then.” I asked quietly. I watched Sebastian’s chest rise and fall as if he just remembered to breathe. His body was taut, but his eyes started to soften.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. I wrapped my arms around my body in an attempt to shield myself from the draft wafting over me. I could feel goosebumps rise up over my skin. Sebastian’s cold stare was long gone but still his silence was every bit chilling.“Maybe this was too soon too fast.” He shook his head. 

“What do you mean?” I asked knowing damn well this wasn’t about something as minuscule as a journal anymore.

“This!” He growled low. Sebastian’s voice was uneven, I could hear the brokenness in the one word alone. It wasn’t exactly from anger, but from sorrow. "There's no real point in me coming out here anymore. I just did it for her. I always did.” He whispered.

I wanted to say something anything to just stop his bleeding heart. There wasn’t a single word I could produce to offer him a shred of comfort. Knowing that broke my own heart. “Did what Sebastian?”Sebastian didn't  respond right away. “Sorry, you definitely don’t have to tell me. I shouldn’t have asked.”

Expelling a shaking breath he continued. “She’d deny it if you said but Bianca was a adrenaline junkie.” A frustrated sigh escaped him. “Nothing scared her, apart from confinement and her greatest fear was not living life to the fullest. I don't know what she saw in me I was nothing like Gabriel. Now me on the other hand I was more reserved. I wouldn’t do a damn thing solely based off a whim. ” Sebastian explained.

Unable to stop myself I let out a snort at that confession. The Sebastian I met seemed like a daredevil in disguise. A person who lived and breathed for the next unconventional adventure. I quickly brought my hand to my mouth feeling apologetic at what I just did. Sebastian didn’t seem to care.

“I know what you’re thinking and yeah I’m just as surprised as you are.” He said. “We would travel all over the world but she always ended up doing the craziest shit on top of it. Mountain climbing on El Capitan, deep sea diving with hammerheads in the Maldives, kayaking through glaciers in Vancouver. B was a thrill seeker and because I loved her with every breath in my body I thought I would be holding her back if stopped her.”

Sebastian stared passed me focusing on something other than me as if to keep himself calm. “She needed a rush to feel alive. I think she did it on purpose to feel closer to him.” His shoulders stiffened and his tone turned bitter. “Turns out it was the very thing that killed her.”

How did we get here? Oh right I put my fucking foot into mouth and asked him. The conversation goes from theft to death how much morose can this get? The silence is thick and almost unbearable. All I wanted to know was how he came to posses my journal. Somehow it opened up an unrelated and unresolved issue billowing around his recently deceased girlfriend. I didn’t want to force him to carry on. He didn’t have to explain in detail what happened to her. I shifted uncomfortably in my soaking wet shoes not sure to make eye contact with him or not. I wanted to put the pair of us out of this excruciating silence. As if sensing my awkwardness reluctantly his eyes met mine. Sebastian’s lip curled up but it wasn’t a smile. “Of all the things she did it ended up being a freak accident when her cord broke while bungee jumping.”

Swallowing the lump in my throat felt like tiny pieces of glass shards. The sadness that omitted from him clung on to me and wrapped its dispirited tentacles around me. “I’m so sorry.” I whispered. For everything, but only I could hear the rest of the tiny voice in my head. I especially didn't know how to ask him who Gabriel was. 

“Want to know what the worse part is?” The answer was obvious, but I didn’t have the guts to say no. The look he had in his eyes was insistent and yet almost stalled by a sense of fear he struggled with. “No matter how hard she tried to convince me I could never follow through with it and for that I will always regret.” Sebastian took a long and deliberate slow breath before releasing it.

“Contrary to what you might think of me Natalie right now being here with you is me finally taking that risk. I don’t know what the hell is happening between you and me. An I know you feel it too, yet you were about to walk away from what this is just because you’d think I would stoop so low and take from you. “ Sebastian leaned forward trapping me with his pained stare.

Internally I yelled at myself to say something, anything that would stop him from looking at me like I had just told him I was Lord Voldemort. Just twenty minutes ago I was jumping to the conclusion that he stole from me. Now I felt like the biggest jerk in existence and I suddenly have gone mute. “I’m going to finish up my shower. I really do hope the rest of your stay here is pleasant and you finally get the chance to live your own story for a change.”He didn’t bother to steal one last glance as if looking at me any longer would burn him.

Time ticked by me slowly after he left. I walked over to the bed and tossed my journal onto it, not wanting to hold it any longer as if it were a bad omen. In that moment I realized that I had two options. Two decisions no matter the choice I make I’d eventually regret not choosing the other. My feet started to move before my mind could catch up. I ended up standing on the other end of the bathroom door.

I pushed it open and steam from the shower filled my nose alongside Sebastian’s mouthwatering scent. I took baby steps into the bathroom not knowing what I was going to be greeted by. I peered around the shower and saw Sebastian standing with his head drawn back letting the water from the shower head pour down into his face. His attention suddenly snapped to me when he noticed I was standing behind the fogged glass. Without thinking I mindless started to pull back the sliding glass door, feeling the water spritz my already soaked clothes.

Sebastian who was gloriously naked stood still and watched me as if I was an apparition. My hand lifted to the straps on my dress letting them fall halfway down my shoulder. Lifting up the ends of my damp hair I turned my back. “Can you help me with my zipper. . . again?” I asked casually. I must’ve been felling all kinds of brave today.

I could hear the weariness in Sebastian’s voice. “Natalie.” Sebastian huffed out my name as if it were either a plea or a prayer.

“Are you going to help me or not?” I asked feeling flustered, my voice was unsteady. I don’t know what came over me. I rarely acted on impulse, but my blood ran cold when he wasn’t around and runs hot when he’s near. I’d never given myself to someone so easily who could effortlessly crack open and expose my heart. There was a long contemplated silence that followed my question. His hands gripped the back of my dress grabbing hold to the material, unzipping it in one quick motion. My back was exposed and I stood still waiting to see if he would make the next move. Just as I felt the rejection swallow me in its huge embarrassing jaws. Sebastian’s warm and wet hands tightly gripped at my sides, his fingers firmly pressed through the fabric on my drenched dress. Expectations was coursing though me until he abruptly loosened his hold that I almost lost my balance from lost of contact.

“You coming in?” I could feel the outlines of his chest rising and falling against my back. Those three little words were indelicate and like molten hot lava trickling down my spine. The air in the bathroom turned humid and beads of hot water splashed on my back. I don’t know why my heart was pounding out of my chest. I willfully barged into his bathroom like a woman on a mission. The panic started to rise in my chest when I realize that maybe this isn’t something that he necessarily wanted. I’m practically asserting myself onto him like some creep. One that I vividly remember telling him I was leery of him being back at the airport. Yet I am the one standing in his bathroom with my clothes hanging off of me ready to jump his bones. He must think I have lost my mind. I’d have to agree with him if he did.

As if hearing my thoughts he chimed in. “If we are going to stand in the shower all afternoon I’d at least like to look at your face.”

Swallowing down the lump of insecurities I turned to face him staring directly into his anxiously waiting blue eyes. I could tell he was allowing me to be the one to take the lead. Sebastian in all aspects was giving all the control to me. I lifted myself out of my shoes without taking my eyes off of his. I placed my hand on the glass in order to gain steadiness before I walked completely inside. On the inside of the shower it was more than enough space for the two of us. The interior was made up of ash gray marbling with an antiqued gold brass shower set. It looks like it’s made of the same material as the giant gold mirror in my room. For. Fucks.Sake. I’m even rambling in my head!

“Breath Natalie.” A slow smile had spread across his face. Sebastian’s thumb gently brushed my damp cheek in small circular motions. Last time he said that to me he told me I looked like I was walking the plank. I wondered if I looked like that now? Standing in his shower with my clothes still on yes I can confirm I look out of place.

“I don’t know what I’m doing.” I managed to say. We were standing nearly nose to nose. The air he expelled I breathed it in. I concentrated on the light feel of Sebastian’s warm hand holding my face like it was precious glass that would break if he should let go. The touch of him shouldn’t calm me as much as it does. He was someone I didn't want to get use to, but I don’t want him to let go in the meantime.

“Well neither do I.” Sebastian’s back was taking all of the direct contact of the water from the shower head above us. Water pooled down around his hair and face. He stood unaffected as if it didn’t bother him. Being naked and drenched from head to toe was a good look for Sebastian. That maddening fragrance of his skin was making it very hard to have restraint to refrain me from bury my nose in the crook of his neck and breath him in. But that’s exactly what I want to do. “If you’re scared just be scarier than whatever is scaring you.” A shiver traveled over my skin as I met Sebastian’s gaze.

A slight chuckle rumbled out from his chest. “So you’re stealing my lines now, Thumper? And isn’t that from Bambi?”

“If you are inclined to ask then maybe you’re not worthy.” I took another step closer to him not breaking eye contact, moving into him as close as I could get. He stared down at me and I could feel the slowest trail of heat travel up my thighs. I wanted him to kiss me.

Within an instant the air between us changed and his expression turned to something unreadable. “I’m not.” His voice rasped. Sebastian’s head swooped down, his mouth finally finding my cold wet lips.

He took no time getting reacquainted. Good to know that we were on the same page here. With ease he carefully guided me backwards until my back pressed against the cool tiles. His mouth parted over mine with a slight exchange of air. I breathed him in before I slipped my tongue in tasting droplets of water that invaded his mouth. Sebastian devoured my mouth with small nips and rhythmic kisses that fell in sync with one another. We kissed with a tortured slowness that was nearly unbearable. Familiarizing our lips and tongue over and over, memorizing every inch until my jaw went sore. Still it wasn’t enough. Sebastian’s hands clasped around my waist to steady himself as if he were in need of an anchor. Yet I was the one growing weak at the knees. Rubbing my body against him created a sensuous friction that made me wonder why was I still clothed. Lust rippled through my bloodstream as I gripped his neck tighter urging him for more.

A frustrated groan slipped from my mouth as I arched up against him. I was desperate to get this dress off of me. Sebastian’s palms went up my back and up the column of my neck, until his fingers tangled around damp strands of my hair. His tongue steadily plunging into my mouth, pulling on the bottom of my lip with his teeth. I reared my head back needing air to fill into my lungs.

“Why haven’t you taken my dress off?” My eyes fluttered opened. I panted for air I’d gladly let him keep stealing. Sebastian looked back at me with musing curiosity. His gaze grew less fierce and he swallowed back his own growing need.

“Is that what you want me to do?” He swiped a wet strand of hair off of my forehead. The answer to that was simple. Yet, when Sebastian asked he made the question feel more complicated than it should have been. On my own accord I shimmied out of my dress , letting it fall around my feet. I stepped out of it and kicked it off to the side. I was left standing in nothing but my light blue cotton underwear. Bravo Natalie you packed the most unsexiest underwear you could find. Sebastian’s eyes never drifted below my neck. I could see the pulse in his throat thrumming rapidly. I didn’t know what to do with my hands they stayed down my side anxiously balled in a tight fist. His silence was going to be the death of me.

“S-Say something.” My teeth chattered together through my sex filled daze. For as long we were standing there the water was turning cold and it showed. Sebastian was too perceptive to have not noticed my exposed breast.

“I don’t want to rush things with you Natalie.” He stared down at me with half hooded eyes. His lips were blood rushed from being thoroughly kissed. A sliver of self doubt weaseled its way into my head.

“You want to stop?” I managed to keep my voice leveled. I wont deny the disappointment I felt. “I clearly did not read this situation right.” I started to ease away from him to make a mad dash to leave the confinement of the shower, but Sebastian stilled his hands on my face. He rubbed the pads of his thumbs over my damp skin in. I tried to back away from his hold. We always seemed to pick the most awkward moments to go quiet. Sebastian kept my face locked between his hands. Unexpectedly he captured my mouth against his. Kissing me with a deliberate slowness that made my brain got to complete mush. “If you think I don’t want to fuck you then you read me all wrong.” He ran his fingers along my neck I could barely feel that his touch was there.

Well Shit.

Words, Natalie, use your words! Licking my lips in nerves still tasting him. I was too taken by surprise to reply. I wouldn’t necessarily describe myself as shy or a bashful person. I’m in his shower with my nipples pressing against his chest for crying out loud. But in more ways than one I am finding myself constantly taken off guard by him. I’m in a constant state of not knowing what to expect around him and frankly I think I enjoy it too much. Blinking rapidly to keep the water from going in my eyes, I placed my hands on his chest to keep him a few inches away to keep some of my self control. “But?” It came out of my mouth more like a aggravated sigh.

Sebastian voiced echoed my own in a low murmur next to my ear. “But.” The corner of Sebastian’s mouth kicked up allowing his smile that I was quickly becoming enamored by take up his face. I impatiently waited for him to finish whatever he was about to say. Stalling at best Sebastian pressed an openmouthed kissed under my ear following a path down my throat. “I meant what I said Natalie.” He paused, he kissed alongside the nape of my shoulder. His tongue moved across my skin, Sebastian’s grip shifted lower to my ass lifting me higher against his chest. My legs voluntarily locked around his waist.

Sebastian shifted his body inward almost cocooning mine into his like a shield. Trailing kisses down my bare chest. I wrapped my hands around his shoulders and my hips started to move as if having their own agenda feeling his erection brush against my inner thigh. “I said I’d risk just about everything to be near you, but I want to get know every part of you first.” He said, his mouth still lingering over my chest between kisses.

“Oh.” I answered breathlessly. Sebastian’s lips were leaving chills in its wake. “I want to know the first book you read that made you want to become a writer.” Actually it was a movie called Stand By Me that made me love stories. Though I couldn’t seem to verbally string together a coherent sentence for the life of me. I lost all ability to speak.

Sebastian clearly didn’t care by the way his left hand teasingly traced the curve of my breast. “I want to hear all about where you grew up and if you played a pointless musical instrument.” Nashville and the Glockenspiel which depending on how you look at it technically doesn’t count because I’m pretty sure everyone in elementary school dabbled in it.

 “I want you to tell me that the craziest thing that you have ever done does not involve you jumping out of a plane. Because Natalie I want you and it’s making me scared shitless.” He said right as his mouth hovered over my nipple before roughly capturing it in his mouth. Sebastian’s tongue toyed with it at a languid pace, grazing his teeth around it. I drew in quick breath, inhaling in his scent that permeated through my nose and dammit if doesn’t smell delicious enough to eat.

“I think your definition of slow might be misconstrued.” Another gasp escaped me as my head fell against the wall. My hands fumbled in his hair pulling him closer, I wasn’t exactly complaining by the directness in contact. I’m pretty sure my body would have wept at the thought of him not finishing what I clearly started. Sebastian was clearly hell bent on delivering the sweetest torture while holding me.

“Believe me this is slow.” He reassured me, though I wasn’t entirely convinced. With carefulness he guided both of my legs back to solid ground. I kept myself pressed against the shower due to the fact the sensation consuming me whole was weakening me in the best way possible.

Without warning or hesitation Sebastian lowered himself to the floor our eyes locked on one another. He watched me as if he was waiting for a flicker of doubt from me. I peered down at him while he hooked his fingers under the straps of my underwear on both sides gradually rolling them down my legs. Sebastian eyes never faltered ,he released a ragged breath as he gently lifted my ankles to guide my legs out of them. He was no longer shielding the water from the shower.

My brain suddenly decided to unleash a wave of unwanted emotions to run ramped though my mind at the most inconvenient time. I didn’t know what tomorrow would look like or even next week when I boarded my flight back home. It just now dawned on me that he also has a home to get back to as well. He had somehow entered my bloodstream and I didn’t know where to begin to get rid of him. Apart of me hoped there wasn’t a cure. Still I wondered if I was just a distraction from his grief. There was a high chance Sebastian was emotionally unavailable and I was a vulture claiming him as my own. He belonged to someone else and she took Sebastian’s heart with her. There was no chance in hell he had any left over for me.

Having a channel to my thoughts with an impossible slowness be pried my knees apart before leaving chaste kisses on the sides of my legs. “Do you ever give that beautiful mind of yours a rest?”

“I consider Saturday and Sunday my off days, but you never know when inspiration strikes and then I’m spending my entire weekend scribbling over notes in my journal all day long. Then doing outlines on my laptop.” Wishing I could swallow my fucking tongue! Saving me from my own rambling. Sebastian abruptly silenced me for good when his skillful mouth eagerly found the one spot my overactive brain wasn’t connected to.

That was by far the longest and most raunchiest shower I have ever had. I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop and for realization to sink in so that the guilt and awkwardness could take turns tormenting me. I waited and I waited but the feelings never came. Instead I felt dizzy. My head wouldn’t stop spinning and the embarrassingly dopey grin I was sporting was enough to make me feel like the ground would crumble beneath me. I wouldn’t care because the cloud I was drifting on would catch me. On the miraculous chance I was having an extremely vivid dream, no one pinch me.

In the midst of my non alcoholic haze I somehow ended up on the private balcony outside Sebastian’s room. We were laying on a hammock that I was convinced was not meant for two. Sebastian thought otherwise and now I found myself laying practically on top of him. Not to mention I had on one of his long sleeved dark blue t-shirt that looked liked a baggy mini dress on me. On the front it had the words “Property of NASA” written across in bold white letters. Again not my idea to wear his clothes. But I did not complain.

“The view around us is incredible and yet the way you’re studying the moon I would’ve sworn you have never seen it before.” Sebastian’s voice was the ice breaker to the comfortable silence that fell over us.

“Why are you watching me?”I questioned, as I readjusted myself so that I could get more room on the hammock. I lifted my self up a little to shift my body so that I could be on my side. Sebastian, who I was quickly learning was very hyperaware of everything I did. He moved his right leg to hang over the hammock and scooted himself closer to the edge so that I could fit my entire body in the crook of his arm.

“What can I say I like looking at what I’m holding better.” The palm of his hand was right above my ass. I could feel the tip of his index finger draw mindless shapes over my hipbone. Apart from listening to the rhythmic sound of the dormant sea. I could hear the sound of Sebastian breathing in and out, as if he was having to control it. When I tilted my head up his mind looked far away. He looked at me like it was the first time he saw me. I couldn't settle the butterflies metamorphosing inside my stomach. I found it almost overwhelming. 

“When I was little my mom moved us around a lot, she’d always grow bored of our surroundings. Which would eventually result to moving on to the next state. The only thing that stayed the same for me was right up there. To remind me some things don’t have to change, plus I thought it followed me and I’d always make up stories about it. I know it’s cheesy, but in my defense I was six and it sorta just stuck.” My mouth turned downward in my typical embarrassed fashion. I had no where to hide my face so that I wouldn’t have to see his reaction. I glanced away. I felt a firm yet gentle grip around my chin pulling my face up closer to meet his. Sebastian stared at me no longer than three heart beats. Yes, I counted.

“So the reason you’re all the way here in Capri is to see if the moon is the same?” His voice was deep. The way he was concentrating on me I couldn’t tell if he was joking or being serious. I expected laughter to ensure at any second.

“Of course not. . . I read about it.” I stated, my voiced already laced with self consciousness. Yet, for some unexplained reason I kept babbling on. “According to Homer when Ulysses was sailing along the coast of Capri here is where he first heard the beguiling voices of Sirens. Regardless of the fictional elements I still wanted to see this place for myself.”

Sebastian smiled before turning his attention towards the night sky, letting my face go. “You’re something else Natalie Foster.”

“I could say the same about you.” I said matter-of-fact.

Sebastian made a sound, I didn’t know whether he was agreeing with me or dismissing it. “No,” He exhaled. " I'm the guy who came here to visit the parents of the son my recently deceased girlfriend was madly in love with."

"What?" I said loudly.

"You already met Gabriel's father." Sebastian said nonchalantly, as he swayed the hammock back and forth. I twisted around so that I could lay on my stomach to face him. Recalling back to the people I met here was our guide Ian and Alessio. Unless Ian drank from the fountain of youth my guess is with Alessio. 

My eyes widened. "Wait. What?" I repeated looking at him quizzically, still unable to follow along with what he was saying. 

"Long before Bianca met me she was head over heels for this guy she met while in the Peace Corps. She told me they bonded over their passion to do humanitarian work in different countries. Bianca had a huge heart and when she loved something she was all in." Sebastian says, giving me a weak smile. 

Not knowing if I should prompt him to say more, because talking about her looked like it was cutting open a fresh wound. I definitely didn't want to be the one to add to his misery. Though after what just happened between the two of us I'm sure he could let me in just a tiny inch. The line I drew regarding our friendship was already blurred and definitely crossed. "What happened to Gabriel?" I asked slowly. 

"The two of them had a lot of goals they wanted to accomplish together. Remember when I told you earlier she was a bit of a thrill seeker?" I nodded my head at his question.

"Well they were one in the same. She told me they wanted to do all kinds of outrageous shit before they got married. Gabriel caught pneumonia before they could ever make it to the alter. His immune system just got weaker and weaker. Intent on keeping their promise Bianca never stopped. She'd visit his parents from time to time and when we started going out I wasn't going to be the one to stop her from coming out here. Once I really got to know Alessio and Nina they became really good friends of mine. . .so I thought." His voice trailed off. 

"He seemed so nice last time I saw him talk to you and if I heard correctly his wife wanted you to visit them." I was propped up to face Sebastian genuinely interested and taken by surprise at how the truth was shaping out to be. 

Sebastian’s eyes evaded. mine."Alessio didn't show up when we searched for your journal and he was brief with me when I spoke with him on the phone. I hadn't even heard from Nina. I think without Bianca being here it's weird for me to even still visit them. Their son was going to marry her and she never really could let him go. The shittiest part is I was the one robbed of a last goodbye. Her folks claimed Bianca wouldn't have wanted a public service." A devastating wave filled the air around us. For a few seconds I stayed motionless trying to comprehend it all. Everything Sebastian just told me was gut wrenching. I had never known anything like it and I felt even more horrible that in the beginning I had made everything about me.

Tensing, he said, "I didn't mean to ruin your night and you sure as hell didn't sign up for this." 

"You're absolutely correct." I stated flatly, scooting up closer so that Sebastian and I were at eye level. "On the top ten most exciting things to do in Capri the travel blogger didn't include you on the list." Bending down I placed a tender kissed alongside Sebastian's lower throat.  His eyelids fell shut and he exhaled a deep breath. I couldn't begin to fathom the heartache I'm sure he felt for her. I just hoped liked hell I wasn't making it worse. 

"Thank you Natalie." Sebastian cleared his throat speaking in a more vulnerable tone. 

"For what?" I asked.

"For reading The Odyssey." He looked like he wanted to say something else but he didn't. He steadied his protective grip around me hugging me close to his bare chest like I would fall out of the hammock. I sighed. I knew I could stay here forever. Sparks went off in my chest.  I was in over my head ,that I was certain of. I bit the inside of my cheek to suppress the laughter bubbling up inside. 

"You know what we need?" I said with a tenor of determination. I wanted to do something to change the solemn mood that seemed to have taken over the atmosphere. Sebastian suddenly rolled over on his side pinning me under him, pulling my bottom lip with his teeth. "More of this?" He asked suggestively. 

I shook my head while grinning wide. "Gelato." I said, my voice breathless. 

"Gelato?" Sebastian repeated like it was a foreign concept. When the word rolled off his tongue it sounded a thousand times better. I said it before and I'll say it again his voice made everything sound sexier. 

"I think the hotel restaurant is still open. I can be back in twenty minutes top." I told him. 

"Make it ten." Sebastian ordered.

"You never really pegged me as the bossy type." He leaned forward so that he was completely hovering over me. I could've imagined a thousand scenarios of how my trip would've gone, laying underneath a man as gorgeous as this one was not on my itinerary. Perhaps he was thinking the same thing as well. A bashful smile ghosted Sebastian’s lips. "I just like being near you." He said in a hushed tone. 

I was ashamed to admit that I was easily affected by him. I forgot everything that I was about to say, because suddenly I felt Sebastian's mouth nip at the soft skin covering my hip and I yelped in surprise. Which caused me to come down from the hammock. I'm dangerously ticklish and my flailing limbs are lethal. I pushed my shirt back down and tiptoed backwards as I walked back into the room. Sebastian, who remained unbothered by my lack of poise eyed me in amusement. "I...need...pants." 

"I have some sweatpants in that duffel bag behind the closet door." He exhaled a quiet laugh. I scurried off to go find a pair. Riffling through nearly a dozen pair, even his clothes smelled like him. I settled for black ones that I quickly got into, pulling the drawstrings as tight as they would go so that they were secured around my hips. I couldn't walk around the hotel barefoot and I draw the line at wearing his shoes.

I grudgingly slipped into my dampened shoes. Looking down at my ghastly assemble I knew I was a fashion victim. I couldn't muster the courage to steal a look at my reflection when I went inside of the bathroom. I was able to comb through my knotted hair with my fingers and created a side braid. Walking back out I caught Sebastian with his arms rested behind his head still in the hammock looking up at the moon. Sensing my near presence like a magnet he turned to face me. 

I shifted uncomfortably at the weight of his longing stare. "I know I know," I sighed ruefully. "I look..."I racked my brain for the right synonyms; horrible, disarrayed, a hot mess.

"Breathtaking." Sebastian said, cutting through my thoughts. 

While I walked through the main lobby that is exactly what I wanted to keep in mind as I passed by people who were dressed as if they stepped right off of the runway. I didn't mind the few stares I got along the way to the restaurant. I knew my eye sore of an outfit was out of place, but I no longer cared. I followed the trail of bodies coming and going in a direction that led me straight into the luxurious restaurant located on the terrace overlooking the Marina Grande and the Bay of Naples. Every time I caught sight of the  enchanting deep blue sea at night filled me with a serene calmness. Too bad it was going to be short lived. 

I assumed the kitchen was still open by the way people waited for their reservations to open up. The seating area was discreetly arranged. Sitting at a table I assumed made guest feel like they were in their own private sector. Fenced in by an intricate metal railing that was wrapped in a florescent deep red bougainvillea plants that twisted into it.Tall black umbrellas with wooden poles canopied over the tables covered in crisp white cloths. Chilled bottles of wine sat at every table alongside glass pitchers of water. Tiny flicker of flames was trapped somehow in the center of the table which kept the individual areas dimly lit. Trees that were nearly half the size of palm trees had full bloomed branches that hung high above my head. The leaves were curved inward almost making a cloud of greenery, and tiny lemons were dangling from it. 

My shoes slapped against the wooden floorboard making me also be seen and heard. Yippie. I spotted a woman frantically tapping away at touch screen monitor wearing khaki shorts and light blue polo with the hotel logo on the front. "Is there some sort of dessert menu I could look at? Also if possible could I charge my order to my room?" I asked her kindly. It had dawned on me that my pockets were empty and I forgot my wallet. I was internally hoping she would not judge me because of my appearance. 

When she looked up at me a genuine smile broke out on her face. "Yes we do. I'd be happy to provide you with one." Her saccharine accent was so lovely to hear. Taking a quick look at her name tag pinned to her shirt. Elisa handed me a rectangular menu with only the names of various desserts and drinks. My eyes quickly scanned over it looking for any mention of gelato. I squinted my eyes in effort of trying to adjust my vision on the tiny words. No glasses or credit cards I came so unprepared. Ah ha! I found it! The gelato....not my glasses. 

The happy dance I was doing was thankfully in my head, because someone was now beside me. I gave Elisa my order, almond honey butter for me because why the hell not? For Sebastian I chose a safer flavor and just went with chocolate. "I'll just need a name so the charge can be made." 

"Natalie Foster." I told her, as I leaned over to pass the menu back to her. I quickly pulled back not realizing I was hovering over someone seated in a wheel chair. 

"Wow." She stated in disbelief. I turned to face her with an apology fresh in my mouth before she spoke up again. "You're Natalie Foster?" Her voice wasn't laced with anger, if anything she sounded excited.

"Forgive me I should've looked before I moved into you personal space! That was ill mannered of me. I'm sorry." I don't think I exhaled once while talking to her. She frantically waved her hand in the air as if to dismiss me. Which caused her glossy black hair that was cut into a bob that was longer in the front and short in the to bounce around her face. The way her dark green eyes lit up, you'd think I just told her she won the lottery. 

"I am a huge fan of your work!" She moved the wheels on her chair so she could swivel it around to face me. When I looked down that was when I noticed both of her legs were casted in thick silver metal braces all the way up to her kneecaps. I didn't know what to say usually not many readers of my books recognized me enough to come over and talk to me or they did and just didn't care. 

"Thank you!" That was all I seemed to be able to think of. 

"I'd ask you to sign something, but I only own digital copies of your books." Her smile only grew bigger and bigger. If I had to take a guess we were probably around the same age and she was hands down amongst one of the prettiest people I have ever seen. My confidence yeah it was dissipating.

"I'm just grateful there are people out there who still enjoy reading." I said, meaning every word. Feeling the admiration I extended my arm out to shake her hand. "What's your name?" 

Returning the gesture she was happy to tell me. "Bianca Jagger!" 

A burst of soft laugher came out of my mouth. "No way?" 

Bianca laughed along with me. "My parents clearly thought they were being funny. Wait till you hear my mother's maiden name."

I raised my eyebrow in anticipation of her answer. "‪Diana Ross‬." A beat of silence passed between us before we both started laughing. To others we must have look absolutely insane. Right on cue Elisa returned carrying two cups of what I knew was to be heaven in a cup. Bianca watched my movements like I was someone to actually be enamored by.

"I better get going it." I said, I turning around ready to get back to Sebastian. 

"Of course I don't want you to keep him waiting. It was really nice meeting you."  Her voice cracked.

"Likewise!" I chirped, mindlessly unaware. I walked in the same direction that I came in and the other shoe I was waiting to drop finally came down. Right down into my gelato that hit the floor.

No, it couldn't be. 

[chrysolina]

Viva La Vida ➾ part ix

A/N - whew almost finished!! I just wanna day a big thank you to all of you for not only reading this shit stain of a fic but understanding me when I took a break last week - I love you all very dearly for that and I hope this has (sorta) done you all justice <3

Summary - Things aren’t heated for a reason and when the walls around you both become shells that house your mistakes, you can only wonder whether you’ll make it out alive.

Word Count -  3.7k

Warnings - ARGUMENTS, tea lie spilt, angst

"And that means you must rest at all times, is that understood sir?” The doctor fussed around Steve by the bedside as he finished putting the last pieces of tape across the copious amounts of bandages around his torso, all them neatly done to a clinical profession.

Steve looked down to the plaster that graced its way across the back of his hand. “Yeah Doc, thanks.” You could already hear the resentment he was feeling just by the tone of his voice - even when you were still a good foot away on the other side of the room, watching him with deep purpose. “Tell Dr Cho ‘get well soon’” The temporary doctor smiled in niceties at Steve’s kindness.

“I will do, thank you Mr and Mrs Rogers.” The doctor looked to you in silent agreement to keep your ‘darling’ beloved under strict bed rest for the next week at the very least, you nodded your head and held the bedroom door open for him to leave, an awaiting Aubrey outside ready to lead the old doctor out. Slowly and quietly, you shut the bedroom door with your foot and turned to look at - a now very ashamed - Steve, his head hung low in avoidance of your blazing glare.

“Y/N let me just say I-” “No, no no; you don’t get to say shit Rogers.” You shut Steve off with a fury that could rival any god that lived on Olympus back in Greece. You knew your eyes were full of fire and despair but yet, you made no move to hide nor conceal your emotions; your only goal was to show Steve how much he hurt you for all those months. 

“And I’m not talking about your stupid fucking leg or graze.” Steve eyes shifted down to the bed-sheets - your bed-sheets - below him, his eyes deep and blue with pain and heartache he caused you.

You huffed out a sigh of exasperation at the tone of conversation that awaited you, walking towards the bed with a hot demeaning purpose, a purpose Steve could only shrink away from.

“I’m talking about you,” you poked one line finger at the centre of his naked chest. “And the recklessness and absolute mortification I had to go through as you—you,” You began to heave in and out pretty rapidly, deciding not to stay near Steve as you spiralled into a deep abyss of pain, heartache and fury.

“Cheated on you.” Steve finished your sentence off with a dull, unemotional tone that had you turning back to look at him from your spot at the end of the bed frame. A bed frame notorious for Steve’s lustful advances towards you now acting as barrier for your emotional well-being — how tragic.

You glowered at him with a semi-horrified look on your face. “Yes.” You spat out, the words no longer caught trapped on your tongue. “That’s — that’s exactly what you fucking did!” You all but yelled at Steve, his eyes staying firmly on your retracting form as you moved towards the wall length windows you loved so much.

“And do you know how heartbreaking and soul crushing that is to go through? As the ‘other party’? Your question left the air tense and filled with pre-existing answers.

He didn’t know, of course he didn’t.

You took a large intake of air through your nostrils at the palpable air between you, eyes still burning their way through the back of your skull. “Do you know how hard it is watching your whole marriage and your love for one singular person slip away from you day by day? And you can’t do fuck all to stop it?!” Hot tears were soon making their way down your hot, fuming cheeks, offering you nothing but weakness and vulnerability to show.

The silence was still there.

You continued. “And that - hah!” You laughed ferociously at yourself and the current predicament you’d found yourselves in. “That wasn’t the worst part Steven.” You swiftly turned to look back at the man in question with a discouraged and well-knitted brow, your eyes filled with hot unshed tears and seething anger.

You starting to slowly stride back over to his bedside, your eyes and his still firmly on one another’s. “The worst part was watching you, my husband, waltz off and knock up a whore from your past! Not only a whore from your drunken filled past but your dear ex-fiancée’s COUSIN!” Your voice almost came out as a roar at the scale of sheer anger and rage you were feeling right now, Steve’s eyes hardening before your eyes at your subliminal confession.

“How-“ Steve began with cold, icy eyes. “How did you find out about that? How did you find out about Peggy?” His voice was now at a similar tone to yours had become accustomed to; harsh, cold and full of bitterness.

You scoffed at his icy glare at you and stood tall and proud, your hand subconsciously coming to cup your three month bump in response. “I’m not thick, you bastard.” You seethed through your teeth. “I know how to get my hands on shit nobody wants you to see and who was there to stop me while you were out playing hookie?” You decided that now would be a good chance to grab a drink of water from the cup and jug left on your dresser, looking back over your shoulder as you spoke.

“I don’t think you really understand the severity of this right now Steve,” You began, lips poised and hot against the cool glass of the tumbler. “You’ve not only cheated on me but you’ve also, somehow or another,” you waved your other hand around the room to foretell your point. “Belittled me through years and years of cover-ups and petty little stories you fed me — and why was that Steve?” Your eyes quickly clocked the whitened fists Steve was creating with his hands.

“I wanted to protect you alright?” Steve yelled at, what you could’ve sworn was, the top of his lungs, your eyes snapping wide open at the sound. “Ever since I met you in that little French cafe down on 41st street, I have always wanted to protect you Y/N. Why do think I pushed you away for all those months after we met hm?” Your mouth nor tongue were unable to form any sort of reliable answer to his question, Steve’s eyes on yours had now parched your mouth dry — even after you’d taken a large swing of water.

Steve decided it was best to continue. “Look at me y/n, look at my life sweetheart,” Steve motioned around him with flicks of his hand. “How could I, a man of so many corruptions, a disgusting past and horrid actions, go on and drag this beautiful, amazing, pure and all that’s great woman into a life she will only ever get tainted by?” This time, it was Steve’s turn to leave the air full of tension and this time, unknown answers.

And all you could do was stay utterly silent and bewildered.

Your eyes began to fill with even more unshed tears. “And that night, that night I snapped at you - fuck.” Steve had to turn away from your soul bearing eyes to give himself some rest-bite. “I could’ve really hurt you Y/N, killed you if I didn’t have a tight cap on it and that’s...that’s when I knew.” Steve glanced back to with similarly tears orbs.

“Knew what?” You all but whispered at his confession, your heart all but lurching away from the true answer he could bare.

Steve exhaled deeply. “I knew that I was no good for you Y/N, after all these years of marriage where I was trying to prove to myself that I was worthy of you on a day-to-day basis, I knew that there and then and it broke me...it really did.” You couldn’t help but lurch forward slowly from your spot by the dresser and hiccups of pain and heartbreak rolled out of Steve’s mouth like a litany.

And for the first time in months, your hand finally made contact with Steve’s prickly cheek and cupped it with a tenderness he could all but turn away from. He didn’t feel he deserved it, not now at the very least.

“Steve look at me.” Your voice was all but a murmur of what it was just a few moments ago, your voice a hellish battlefield of pain and anguish you couldn’t keep bottling up. “Look at me, please.” The plea and wobble in your voice caught on Steve’s ears and gave him no other choice but to look at your pain-stricken face.

“Can I tell you something? Can I tell you what scared me the most out of all this cheating?” You whispered low and shakily into the air between you two. Steve nodded slowly in compliance. “I was terrified of losing you Steve - of losing what we have - us.” You shook your head at the tears that were spilling deeply out of your eyes.

“And I can’t live without you Steven Grant Rogers - not for one day could I ever live without you; so please, don’t take the one thing I love away from me, please.” An unruly sob broke out from the confinement’s of your lips and made your quiver and clench at the feeling.

Slowly and carefully, Steve brought you up so you were straddling his hips and placed his forehead against yours softly and gently, both your eyes closed as you basked in the outburst of emotions you two had shared. Not a word was shared between you two in that moment, not even a disturbance at the door could rock you two out of your stupor - you were that enthralled with one another.

The only thing you could only ever share between you two was a momentary and reliving kiss that took everything, all the bravo and all the grandeur, out of the both of you. A kiss that could only be saved for times like this was now your new dialect and spoke in so many greater volumes how much both you and Steve cared and adored one another. It was messy, it was slow and unruly and most of all, it brought you two back together again — just as you should be.

Until air was only considered to be desperate did you two break each other’s lips away from one another, foreheads still connected like before. Slowly, you threaded your fingers through Steve’s hand and brought it up to feel the small pooch of a belly you called a bump.

“No more secrets Steve,” You spoke softly and slowly as the pad of Steve’s thumb began to rub your little bump slowly. “And no more ulterior motives to protect me, got it?” Your eyes simultaneously locked on one another’s after the final word passed your lips, the veins in Steve’s eyes now red with the fury of the salty tears he’d shed.

“I promise.” A mere whisper passed between his lips that he most, miraculously, kept and withheld.

- - - -

“Uh Steve, we’ve got company.” Sam’s calm yet slightly unnerved voice broke through the cool autumn air of the night and gave Steve no other choice to turn his away from the crime scene before him and to Sam, who was looking down at the ground from his spot high up on the apartment metal clad staircase. Steve took one look down the four story drop and felt his eyes roll back to the back of his brain.

An intruder; just what he needed whilst carrying out his father’s dirty work.

As quickly as his two hands and legs could carry him, Steve stepped, swung and and hopped down the creaky metal cladding and landed with a soft thump on the paved floor below, the intruding figure jumping back into the door way they came out of.

Before Steve could take a step further, a more familiar figure bumped the intruder out of the doorway they were cowering in and laughed at their feeble attempts of scolding them. ‘Typical Shirley.’ Steve rolled his eyes and began stepping forward towards Shirley and her friend, who stood by and watched Shirley light her cigarette with a rigid posture.

“Shirley,” Steve was sure that his voice had swept Shirley into her usual stupor - given the fact that she all but almost dropped her fresh cigarette at the sight of him. “What’re you doing out here so late?” The once frightened figure then turned to face Steve with a curious and a somewhat knowing look in their eye that Steve could all but shrink away at. He knew who this person was, how could he forget?

“Well y’know darlin’“ Shirley husked away and slunk herself up against the brick wall behind her, her eyes low and glowering at Steve’s - but he paid no mind to her, he was more interested in the girl beside him. “Everyone needs a break now and then don’t they?” Steve was quick to clock both Shirley’s and the young woman’s black waist apron that hung low and steady on their hips. 

Steve then turned his full attention to the woman beside him, looking at her with feigned innocence and mystery, although how could he pretend to forget a face like hers? “And what about you doll Out having a smoke too?” The bashful smile that rose to the young woman’s lips was somewhat of a sheer euphoric experience for Steve; yes, how could he forget a smile like that? 

“Oh no, I’m no smoker. Shirley came out with me to keep me company, that’s all.” Steve hummed at the very typical answer, of course he didn’t expect anything less from the woman that caused his poor heart such arduous grief as a child - you were a poster child, a model for all to see so of course she’d give a very model-like answer. 

Steve tilted his head back in fake though and looked back to the stairs he’d just came from, an exasperated and slightly perplexed Sam, Clint and Scott waiting for him at the top of the stairs, bloodied machetes and guns in hand. Steve sent them a warning glare behind Shirley’s quick conversation with you, a glare that told them to simply ‘ fuck off, I’m coming’ 

“Well I hate to be a bother ladies but I must go.” Shirley frowned at Steve’s announced departure and pouted her glossy cherry red lip in disappointment. “We’ll see you around won’t we?” Her voice was thick with a longing and desire Steve couldn’t help but be slightly repulsed by, although Steve knew and took pride in the fact that hoards of women longed to be with him day and night, that still didn’t take away the fact that he found their antics revolting.

Steve only muttered a short answer in return and slopes back off into the shadows of the dark and cruelly cold night, a trail of curiosity flowing behind him in his wake. You couldn’t help but watch his departing figure with a curious glare.

“Who was that?” You quieried out into the cold open air and watched the air your question rode on turn to clouds of puffy steam before you. Shirley feigned a gasp behind you. “That - my dear - was the greatest looking and one of the most powerful men in New York.” Her hands on your shoulders gave you little to no comfort over the fact that you felt - no, you knew, you’d seen that man before.

“That doesn’t say much about him though.” You rolled your eyes to yourself. “He’s probably earned that straight off the back of his family, no doubt.” Shirley sighed in defeat over your disapproving tone. “Look, you’re not wrong there but I can assure you there is more to him than there seems.” You turned around to face Shirley with a quizzical eye.

“Like?” You couldn’t help but feel pride in watching Shirley acting totally exasperated over asking her what her crush actually is like - apart from his looks, wealth and fame.

“Well,” Shirley hummed to herself, straightening herself out as she did so. “He’s loyal to the bone, stubborn as a bull but tender and compassionate at the same time. Bit of a ladies man, I must admit but there’s no shame in that - given the life he lives.” You rolled your eyes at her last statement, a similarly exasperated sigh leaving your lips at her excuse.

Shirley was quick to notice your pointed glare and stopped herself from thinking much more about her dream man. “What?” She yelped from her spot by the back door, her hand coming up to cover her chest in feigned hurt. “Why are you looking at me like that?” You rolled your eyes and felt a tug at your lips, the tug of a disapproving frown forming over your lips.

You sighed. “Why would you want a man like that Shirl? Let alone marry him like you said?” Again, Shirley faked a look of total exasperation and hurt at your blunt statements, her eyes full of uncertainty and glittering in the pale moonlight from up above.

She couldn’t help but smile at your child/like posture and attitude, her only thought being the fact that you still had so so much to learn about the city you called home. “You’ll see when you’re old enough.”

- - - -

It had been little over five weeks since you and Steve both had the opportunity to straighten things out and to say things were looking dramatically brighter was an understatement; the whole house and everyone who passed through it could feel the new air that wafted through — a new air that symbolised change, prosperity and love.

Gone were the days where Steve would mutter a quick ‘morning’ to Aubrey as he passed through to head out to work, now he would stay longer and talk with the old man he owed a considerable amount to.

Conversation did vary by the day but the main topic of conversation, of course, was you. It filled Aubrey with a great sense of pride and joy watching Steve leave behind him, knowing full well that the child you were due to birth in the following May time would have a father they could be proud of.

All of Steve’s men could see it too. The change that had been brought about in the new year really did signify a change in the air and a change in heart of their boss. No longer was he cruel nor snappy, self-centred nor brute-like; he was a changed man now, doing things that wouldn’t only benefit him but benefit the wider community around him too.

But the most notable change came from deep within the thick walls of your shared mansion that only the rare few were lucky enough to see. Your parents were the first to pick up on it, Tony and his crew did too and so did Aubrey and Bucky too; Steve was now having regular lie-ins in the morning — which was bizarre for a man who’d spent his earlier life becoming militarised.

And this morning was no different.

Shifting, curling and rolling lazily around in the glowing white sheets of the bed were two - very - naked figures, both your faces simultaneously planted deep in the soft fluffy white pillows your eyes never leaving one another’s for a daring moment, faces only centimetres away from one another’s.

“No work today?” Your hum of a question cut the crisp morning air that flowed in through the large bay windows behind you, making your skin prick with goosebumps.

Steve hummed out in disagreement and pulled you flush against his body, his arms circling round your slightly more filled frame. “Gonna spend the whole day here with you.” Hands that were tender and soft with love and care came to caress the hair that adorned Steve’s cheeks, hairs that he chose to keep there for various reasons.

“And building the nursery?” You teased with your tongue caught between your pearly white teeth, a crooked yet gleaming smile gracing your features. You could only with with amusement as Steve rolled his eyes at your comment.

“Way to ruin a romantic moment babe,” Steve huffed out and turned to flop onto his back, bringing you with him onto his chest. You couldn’t help but yelp out in glee at the sudden movement. “bring up my new unrequited lover why don’t you?” You couldn’t help the laughs that escaped your lips at the thought of Steve hauling himself around the cream white nursery, three IKEA flat-packs caging him in all directions. 

You pushed a little bit of golden hair out of his eyes and into the mess of gold that surrounded his head, a halo of pure perfection - that’s what you called it. Even now, months later from your near divorce, you couldn’t believe how quickly you were falling for the golden haired hero all over again, a smile tugged at your lips at the thought. “One more pack to go honey,” You combed over your sickly love eyes with a simple kiss to the lips, revelling in the way Steve’s lips burst into a beautiful yet cheeky smile. “And it’ll be all done.”

Steve hummed in feigned disagreement and watched with mischievous eyes as your brows creased and furrowed. “Yeah until she grows a little older and needs a fucking bed.” You gasped at Steve’s sudden slip of the f-bomb. Once the reconciliation attempts were being made, a key part of your thoughts was how you - a total opposite to Steve - would parent a child that had no entire reason for being in the world. 

Bar the fact that their parents have never heard of contraception. 

Steve swore on that day you discussed it that to get accustomed to no more swear words in the house, he’d start cutting back on his f-bombs and cusses in your presence, in preparation for the new arrival. And in all fairness, he really did cut down his swearing count. You never held it against him when he swore though, sometimes only the worst words can fully express the annoyance and grievances IKEA furniture brings about. 

“Language Mr Rogers!”

“Like you weren’t cussing like a sailor last night, Mrs Rogers.”

“....Oh fuck off.”  

- - - - 

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Resurgence

A Jacksepticeye Fan Fiction

Part Four: Conversations

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Summary: Chase manages to call Stacy and ask if the kids are alright, but he gets some strange responses. The boys decide to go their separate ways, and Chase and Schneep find a surprise waiting for them at Chase’s house.

(This is...all dialogue. Basically. Just thought I’d let you know)

Chase had retreated to the bathroom. He hadn’t wanted to do this in front of everyone else, and it would’ve been weird to go in Jackie’s bedroom. He could still hear the others talking amicably through the door.

No use putting it off. he took out his phone and stared at the number on the screen for a few tense moments, before finally screwing up the courage and making the call.

It rang for a long time, long enough that Chase worried she’d see his number on the caller ID and ignore it. But the ringing stopped. “Hello?”

Chase took a shaky breath. “Hey, Stacy.”

Silence. Then, “What do you want, Chase?”

This was going better than expected. She didn’t sound angry, just oddly neutral. “I was just checking in. You know, seeing how things are going. How’re the kids?”

“You don’t need to ask that, do you?” Ah, there was the snappish, critical tone she usually employed. “You’ll get to see them tomorrow. You can wait until then.”

“I know, I just...you never know, you know?” Chase laughed nervously. He hesitated, then forced out the question. “Um, can I talk to them?”

More silence from Stacy, white noise stepping in to fill the void. “I don’t know, Chase, can you?”

“Wh-what?” Chase stuttered at his ex’s tone. It was unusually venomous, even for her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know, what is it supposed to mean?”

“St-Stacy, did I...did I do something?” More than he normally did to offend her, he meant.

“You did a whole hell of a lot, Chase. A whole hell of a lot.” A click, then a dial tone. She’d hung up.

Chase just stared at the screen of his phone. He’d known this wasn’t going to go well. He’d known Stacy was going to be passive-aggressive at best, and blatantly hostile at worst. But this? What did it mean? What was she blaming him for this time? His mind raced as he thought through everything he could’ve done wrong in the last month. Was she upset that Bobby cut her arm up last weekend? That wasn’t really his fault, she’d just fallen in a thorn bush. But she’d done that because he hadn’t been watching her...

“Chase! Are you done?”

Jackie’s voice rescued Chase from his downward spiral. He shook his head, then pocketed the phone and left the bathroom.

Things had changed a bit. Marvin was rummaging in the kitchenette’s cabinets, JJ standing nearby. Jackie was standing, bouncing up and down nervously. Schneep was still sitting on the couch, but he’d switched his old doctor’s coat for one of Jackie’s old hoodies, a baggy blue one.

“Everything go okay?” Jackie asked.

“I mean, it could’ve gone worse,” Chase shrugged. “She didn’t yell or anything.”

“That’s great, but what about the kids? Are they okay?”

“I...don’t know. She didn’t let me talk to them, and I think she was, I dunno, implying they were okay? But she made some sort of weird comments. I think she’s mad at me for something.”

“She usually is,” Marvin called from the kitchenette.

“Ha ha yeah,” Chase laughed off the painful truth of that comment. “But I mean, something specific. Something she expected me to know about, but I have no idea what that could be.”

Should you go call on her? JJ asked.

“Call on...? Oh. No, I don’t think stopping by her house would do anything. She probably wouldn’t let me in,” Chase sighed. “I mean, tomorrow’s the start of the weekend. If I go over to pick up the kids and they’re not there, we have something to worry about. But that’s kind of wasting time if they are missing...” Of course, that’s all he was. A waste of time.

As if sensing his thoughts, Schneep jumped into the conversation for the first time. “It is not wasting time, my friend,” he said. “Short of breaking into her house, there is not much to do, and I know you will not like to do that. You are letting this into your head when it should not be there. You have to have faith that you can fix these things.”

Jackie nodded in agreement. “Yeah, things are gonna turn out alright. We’re all gonna help you get Bobby and Trevor back. I can do some patrolling tonight, see if there’s anything suspicious. And maybe our magic men know something that could help too.”

Marvin and JJ looked at each other. “You wouldn’t happen to know how to scry, would you?” Marvin asked.

JJ nodded. I know the theory. Never got it to work.

“That’s ‘cause really good scrying isn’t magick, it’s magic. Luckily, I can help with that. God, it would’ve been fucking helpful if I’d bothered to learn it myself, we wouldn’t have to go through some sorta teaching session. But anyway,” Marvin turned to Chase, “yes, I think we could help.”

“Good. Good. Good.” Chase repeated the word over and over, trying to convince himself. “I guess we all go home now?”

“Chase, you’re in my apartment,” Jackie pointed out. “I am home. And I would appreciate it if people, especially a certain cat magician, would stop stealing my chips in my own home!” He shouted the last part in Marvin’s direction, who loudly slammed a cupboard door several times in response.

Chase almost said something, but then he decided not to get involved in the weird mostly-friendly almost-fight going on between the two. “Schneep, you good with staying at my place?” he asked.

The doctor nodded, standing up. “Of course I am. I would have said if I wasn’t. Are we leaving now?”

“Better early than never, dude.”

The walk from Jackie’s apartment complex to Chase’s house in the suburbs wasn’t long, but to Schneep it felt like hours. He couldn’t lie—at least, not to himself—and say he wasn’t on edge, constantly starting at every little movement in the corner of his eye, or tensing up at every sound that was even slightly similar to the crackle of static. He stared straight ahead, not daring to look directly at Chase, whose face, unfortunately, bore a striking resemblance to him.

“You’re walking funny,” Chase said.

“I do not know what you mean.” The reply came instinctively.

“C’mon, dude,” Chase sounded exasperated. “You always tell me it’s not healthy to bottle up my emotions. Well, now you’re just being a fucking hypocrite.”

“It is not same thing, Chase,” Schneep insisted. “I am just...putting things aside for later. It has worked for me for a long time now.”

“Yeah, you’re putting them in a little bottle,” Chase muttered. “And if you shove enough stuff in that bottle, sooner or later it’s gonna break. Explosively.”

On some level, Schneep knew he was right. If he kept going on like this, eventually everything was going to blow up in his face. The best way to deal with situations like this would be to talk to others about it. His friends were right there, offering to listen. But how was he supposed to explain what he’d gone through? He’d been gone nine months, and he hadn’t even known it until he finally escaped and saw the date on a newspaper. Of course, there was the chance that he hadn’t even escaped, and that he was just giving him hope before he would immediately pull him kicking and screaming back into that dark place— 

Nope. Stop it. Put it away.

“Look doc, I won’t pretend to understand what happened,” Chase said. “I don’t think I could, without going through the same thing. But I’m here for you. Anything you need, just ask. Support, reassurance, whatever. Ask me to do something that’ll make you feel better or safe, and I’ll do it. It’s okay now.”

It wasn’t. It wouldn’t ever be.

Before Schneep could roll out another dismissal, his attention was caught by something up ahead. “Chase, are...are there police officers outside your house?”

Chase looked ahead. Sure enough, a police cruiser was sitting on the curb by his house, and there were a pair of people at his door, who he could only assume were plainclothes cops.

“Hey!” He broke into a run. Schneep grabbed onto his arm, simultaneously trying to slow him down and keep up. Ahead, the officers turned and looked at him.

“Would one of you happen to be Mr. Brody?” The taller, blonde one asked.

“Yeah, that’s me,” Chase answered. “What are you doing here? If you don’t mind me asking.”

The shorter, dark-haired one responded. “I’m Detective Malcolm Akela, this is my partner Lydia Bowman. We’re here to ask you some questions about the disappearance of Roberta and Trevor Brody, your children.”