#ignore i just need to vent
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Damn I really do be having days when it’s like. I feel like shit, I barely sleep, I’m tired all the time, then I look at my work and the absolute state of my person and go, for what? This is all garbage what am I running myself this ragged for lmao sick
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#ignore i just need to vent#I’m sick of staying up crying all night alone#I’m sick of watching you fall asleep while I panic#this isn’t fair
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#ignore i just need to vent#i'm so fucked for tomorrow and i completely know its my own fault but like im so tired of trying and failing that trying has lost all appea#like ive never been amazing at maths but ive always been able to get by but now i feel like im completely loosing track#paper one went decent but ik that just means paper two will be a hellscape and im already shitty at stats plus theres gonna be circle#equations that i for some reason always forget the method for even though weve bee doing it since like gcse#i dont want to fail#namely because this will go towards the expected grades i send off to unis but also ive got a bet with a friend over wholl do better#and i really dont have the cash to even buy a shitty mcdonalds meal for him at the minute let alone the five hes gonna make me order#if i loose - i mean i could still beat him in physics i did better than him in that but i dont know if its enough to save me hes too#naturall good at maths meanwhile i study hours and hours and can barely keep up#im just tired#its my last exam though for a while at least#until circular motion and em fields for physics next term which i didnt even get in lesson so the test is gonna fuck me over#personal
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One of my new co-workers is young (she just turned 18) and she's pregnant with her first child....and her baby's father is 35. Thirty. Five. Now, if you know me, you know my feelings on age gaps. I haven't said anything to my co-worker, because we don't know each other well enough, and she probably wouldn't want my advice anyway....but I have to admit I am worried about her. It's none of my business, and she can do what she wants, but I have to admit that I think she's being taken advantage of. She's just so young and trusting and a little naive (but hey, weren't we all when we were 18?) , and I hate to see predators latch on to young women like this. What's worse is the people that defend it (and let me tell you, I was both shocked and disgusted at the number of people who are supporting this/turning a blind eye to it) and say that it's okay because "she's 18, she's an adult." Don't EVEN get me started on that.
I worry for her. She seems so sweet and kind, and she kind of reminds me of my kiddo. I wish I could do something.
Society talks about pedophiles all the time, but hardly anyone says anything about ephebophiles, and it's worrying and disheartening. Just because someone is 18 doesn't make it okay to pounce on them, like this guy has. She's 18. He is 35. almost twice her age. And nobody is batting an eye at it. I think a lot of people in this area (where I live) are fucked in the head and think it's normal just because that's what they did. I would lose my shit if a man in his thirties (or even twenties) tried to latch onto my kid. I won't mention what I would do, but yeah. It's sick. People who are okay with it are sick.
#bat.txt#personal#rant#vent#ephebophilia tw#i normally don't talk about triggering topics like this#but it's one that really gets under my skin and is important to me.#i'll probably delete this later-and you can ignore it if you want-#but i really needed to get this out#i was just BLOWN AWAY when i found this out yesterday#both my mom and i were grossed out
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Here, take this AU I gave up on
The main gist of it was that after Miracle Queen, Marinette spends all of her time focusing on and only on tracking down Hawkmoth. Because she’s neglecting her hobbies and friends (plus just looking generally worn out), Sabine worries and in a last ditch effort to get Marinette happier (and out of the house more), she signs Marinette up for some Afterschool Art Program.
Flora is the club leader here with Alina helping along (and Felix sometimes sorta popping up.. for moral support). The actual leaders are the Quantic Kids (of course, excluding Marinette and Felix) who I’ve aged up for funsies. Chaos ensues.
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But for like.. random context for an assortment of things, I just feel like Flora would be the kind of person to pick up random interests and would want to heavily indulge in it, but never have the motivation to go and actually do that.. so this program was something that Allegra was trying to get her to do to like get her to go outside of her comfort zone while also making sure she’s there to monitor it. (I am heavily projecting onto Flora).
Felix isn’t related to Adrien or to Richard Sphinx (probably). He’s just some guy (allegedly).
Because this AU had me both ignoring and rearranging the timeline of canon, Marinette and Alya had a falling out that has led to Marinette out right avoiding her (and the rest of the girl group) as much as possible.
#my art#miraculous ladybug#mlb au#i only posted this because I spent a stupid amount of time drawing these art pieces#had a huge (key smash) moment that led to me feeling like this AU wasn’t original so I just abandoned it. the woes of writer block#I may pick this up later and polish it#or maybe I won’t#felix culpa#flora melody#alina leroux#marinette dupain cheng#marinette cheng#claude savard#allegra baudelaire#allan durand#quantic kids#(the rest of the tags will just b me venting so feel free to just ignore it):#idk!! but I’m having a huge ‘I need to get something done but cannot bring myself to do so’ moment and I do not know why#crafting story ideas is such a pain rn but I also am having a terrible ‘I need to fixate on something *now’ moment too#it’s annoying#I hate feeling like my work is unoriginal but I cannot help but compare it to idea I have done previously before or compare it to other pets#and when I pick up even the slightest similarities it sends be down an anxiety spiral#((this is a cry for help))#not really but#maybe I just need a nap
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I got a lot of compliments on my shirt today
#me#my face#selfie#I get compliments every time i wear it actually#i had a rough day and would really appreciate if someone could put me out of my misery pls and thank you#my senior dog is sick (i think it’s time for me to come to terms with the fact that he’s not living forever)#i was up on and off with him all night#worked 11 hours today on 4.5 hours of sleep#i feel like absolute shit#and tomorrow i’m working 12 and i can’t wait for Sunday so I can sleep all day#pls just ignore me venting in the tags i just need to get it out because i feel like i have no one to talk to these days#so just ignore me bitching and focus on how pretty i look on 4.5 hours of sleep
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besties I am so sick of having no money and no job and just rotting away in my room all day every day depressed and anxious all the time and just hating myself :( when is it going to end!!!! i'm trying really hard to use this time to work on myself and my mental health, i've been trying to take better care of my body and go on walks and journal, but this is one of the worst periods of depression i've been through. all I do is just distract myself by listening to books and playing video games so I don't spiral into negative thoughts. thank god i have the puppy to keep me company all day or else I would be wayyy worse than I already am (GOD he's so cute he was just wagging his tail in his sleep as I typed this). my school finally hired someone to work in the career services department and I met with him the other day. that did make me feel better since he said I have a good resume and he confirmed that the way the firm I was working for fired me was super shitty and not normal. but god. I'm just so sick of wasting away all day doing nothing and focusing on the negatives in my life instead of all the recent positives. I literally just graduated law school in the top of my class and passed the bar in the fucking 90th percentile and was sworn in as an attorney. this should be the happiest time in my life but instead it's my saddest. I can't even celebrate my own accomplishments it sucks
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Sometimes I think and wonder what he'd taste like. Would he taste sweet? Sour? Or like nothing at all?
Does it truly matter in the end? I will never be able to taste his pink lips and be held in his embrace as our tongues collide in this lifetime.
I hope in my next lifetime, we meet as the same ages. I hope I get to be his in my next life.
#male teacher crush#male teacher x female student#tc community#tc crush#tc feelings#teacher crush community#i just needed to vent a little lol ignore the angst
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Okay, this is a little poem. To a friend. It's a little venty so feel free to ignore this.
CWs: death, suicide, depression.
Letters to a Friend
I wish I could write you letters
I wish I could write you stories
I wish you could read my letters
And I wish you could read my stories
But you're not hear anymore
So you can't read my letters
And you can't read my stories
I write you letters
Though they're all in my head
I write stories with you in them
But they never see a pen
I wish you had stayed
And seen life as it is
I wish you had stayed
And I wish I had not missed the angel you'd been
I wish we could write letters
Over text or over ink
I wish we could talk
Whether irl or electronically
I wish I had seen it
The minute you said that
You had depression
I wish I had known how to react
But I didn't
And I only have my ignorance to blame for that
I think if we both hadn't hid from eachother
I think if I had been more open to you
We could have shared our stories
Through letters or mouth
And talked about our fake smiles
How we faked our lives
How we could fool ourselves that we could get through this together
And we had sort of done that
When we planned for the future
But you had looked through the lies that you gave
And gave up hope that same day
And now I lie to myself more each passing morn
That one day I'll be fine
That I'll get through life no longer hurt by your flight
But I hope for you the best wherever you be
And I know it sounds weird
But for the foreseeable future I will write to you more
And I'll make up pretend that you're here still to send
All of these letters I make to my friend
#suicide#death#depression#glacier vents#vent#ignore this#sorry about bringing down the mood right now#but i just need to get some of my thoughts about this out#i know it was years ago#and i know that almost none of my friends knew her#but i just want her here#and sometimes i can't stand the world without her in it#so i just make up my own world where she never left#and we write letters#but i know it's all in my head#and i know one of these days i'll need to snap into the reality that she'll never be here again#but i can't handle that right now#so i guess i'll just stay in my head#again sorry about how venty this is#feel free to just ignore this
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I need to sleep earlier fr fr
#im so dizzy#cant tell if its my anxiety or the stress or a lack of sleep or dissociation or something new#ill be ok i think i need to fix my sleep schedule and quit coffee again#which is unfortunate#sorry if this counts as a vent idk#u guys can ignore it#just wanted to let u guys know that im sleeping earlier
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sorry for low activity recently guys, I AM writing but I keep finding it harder and harder to stay motivated due to certain factors, and my social battery has been almost non existent here... I hope y'all will be patient though, I'll be back soon enough!
#kasey rambles#kinda a vent post too#been having some bad brain moments a lot these past couple of weeks#feeling ignored/underappreciated in places has done Wonders for my motivation /s#its probably all in my head tho so i just need a breather
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I am unwell 😅
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#ignore i just need to vent#ever all of a sudden realize how much damage someone has done to you?#i didnt see how she destroyed my self worth until now#with every night i’d be beside her crying and she would turn her back and go to sleep#telling me in the morning she doesnt feel bad about it#i fucking accepted that because she said it was my fault she didnt feel bad because i told her that i didnt want to hold her hand#when i was panicking and crying and she wanted to hold my hand so she could sleep#every time she would ignore me for days at a time#and told me thats normal#told me that im the crazy one for wanting to talk to my girlfriend#telling me a couple weeks into quarantine when i lost my job that im being too clingy#and want to spend too much time with her#never following through on the things she told me she would do#and then blaming me saying that she wouldnt want to do anything for me if im being a certain way#tearing me apart for wanting more than me driving over half an hour to see her every time when she would never come to me#and she wouldnt do anything besides sit on the couch or in her bed#and play video games or watch movies#and i wanted more effort than that#i wanted the cute at home quarantine dates#i wanted to feel like i mattered and was loved#and she did almost everything she could to make me feel the opposite#she ruined me and now i have go pick up the fucking pieces of myself that she shattered#i cant believe i let a girl do this to me
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love narc crashes
#(sarcastic)#love spiraling#got those funny abandonment issues paired with needing to be superior it's great#I want to talk to my bf about it but I want him to reach out to me about it so I've been ignoring all of his texts and all that toxic shit#also i feel like he's in on it in a way#I'm gonna try to abandon everyone and then I'm going to get bored and go back to them immediately#bc my emotional permanance is like nothing#I just want to fucking rot#god#a bit of a vent#npd#me when i
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gonna bang my head against the wall i hate college and the struggle of being the daughter of immigrant parents who cant really help bc they’ve never been to college in america and theyre just as in the dark as you are and AJXJJSJAKSK im gonna scream
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I just remembered that in season 2 of the anime, Ciel is water boarded and gaslit to prep him for the soul transfer.
But you never hear antis saying that the show is problematic for glamorizing torture/abuse?
Once again, antis have this rabid hatred for sex but violence is OK! Bc “everyone knows violence is bad!”
🙄
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