#if your cat isn’t drinking try giving them a larger bowl

[llulabeee]

I’ve been shown a lot of raw pet food content on Facebook lately and I find it funny when people add shit like bone broth for “hydration” in their cat’s food. The truth is that most cats are pretty dehydrated, but I ended up with one thirsty mfer who absolutely loves drinking plain water. My boy is HYDRATED. Always got his face in the beverage, god bless

[t-o-m-hollands]

Summary: It’s the late summer of 2004. You are set to travel across the country for university and your best friend Tom is staying behind. You spend your last night together before you leave. 

Themes: Friends to lovers, love confessions, first love. 

Warnings: Drinking beer. One mention of smoking weed. Mentions of parents fighting and also implied neglectful parents. Smut (+18), two spanks?? otherwise pretty tame.  

Word count: 3,4 k

Notes: I don’t know, this might be a bit different? Or it might just feel that way to me. It’s very reminiscent of teenage years and first love and nostalgia. Please let me know your thoughts, I’m genuinely not sure what to think about this one. 

Massive thank you to @augustholland​ who read through it and very kindly reassured me that it wasn’t bad 💖

Also, this fic was inspired by the Phoebe Bridgers song. I’ve never actually listened to it but it keeps showing up in my recommendation and i like the title of it so this is what i imagine that song is about. Mostly I listened to Harry Styles - Fine Line while writing this.

You finish up early that afternoon. Wayne, your old boss, tries not to cry as he hugs you goodbye. He tells you to take care in a gravelly voice close to breaking, as he avoids looking at you. It’s your last shift in the greasy bar, where for the last two years you’ve been selling cheap beer and watered down whiskey to weary old men and rowdy students who come in for a game of pool. It hasn’t paid much, just a few pounds an hour; just enough so that on each thursday you and Tom have enough money for movie tickets at the local cinema. It’s your tradition. Like a religious man goes to church each sunday; you spend your thursday nights with Tom’s arm slung around your shoulders, watching whatever new film they have on, sharing a bowl of popcorn between you. Afterwards you'll have burgers at the fast food joint across the street; talking about the movie long into the night, sharing a bag of fries. 

When you were younger and hadn’t been able to afford to pay Tom had sneaked you both into the cinema anyway.  Your hand in his, he had led the way into the movie theatre when no one was looking. Sitting in the back row he’d sneak you Fruit Polos to snack on, his arm slung around your shoulders, as you watched movies you were way too young for.

Last week was your final movie screening; some light-hearted American comedy, and the entire way through it you fought the lump in your throat, forcing yourself not to cry. Tom hadn’t laughed either; had just held you closer than usual. 

Tomorrow you are set to leave the small seaside town behind you, the place where you have spent most of your life, for a drive all across the country; to start university in a city you’ve only visited once before. You’re not sure when you’ll return.

Thus lately everything has been laced with goodbyes; childhood having reached its end.

Just two days ago there had been the last bonfire where you had watched the Holland boys fight each other while playing football as his parents looked on and laughed, grilling sausages over the open fire. 

It was on the same rocky beach where you have spent many summer days; grilling food on the open fire and throwing back cheap beer with your friends from school. You have scraped your knees on these rocks, burned your skin from both the bonfire and the sun there; have had your heart broken over and over and over again during your school years as you watched Tom kiss whatever girl he was dating at the time by the fire during summer night parties.

Maybe you had broken his heart a few times as well. 

As the afternoon light turns everything golden you drive through the main street in the small town where  everyone knows everybody, and has done for generations. You watch the people as you drive them by. You know everyone’s name, know each crack in the pavement; can find your way home in the dark. 

God knows how many shoes you’ve worn out over the years walking down these streets. 

The radio plays a blink-182 song you know by heart as you follow the road out of the city, through the woods and up to the coast. At the end of a muddy track, on the border to the forest, stands a shabby old caravan. It faces the beach and above the door christmas lights are lit up all year round. 

The Holland family legend says that Tom’s great uncle had won the small patch of land in a bet. Unable to build a large house he had bought a caravan and put it on the lot. The old man had lived in the Shed for the rest of his lifetime, before passing it on to Tom; the youngster of the family, his younger brothers having yet to be born. When he had turned seventeen he moved out of his parents larger, more comfortable house, and into the Shed. His mother had agreed on it on the condition he took on the apprenticeship to become a carpenter that he had been offered. 

You remember when he had told you of his decided future, one late evening as you sat on the driftwood by the beach, smoking weed and watching the sun set over the horizon. It had felt right somehow, you had been able to  imagine him working with his hands, skillfully forming and bending wood to his will; his long and slender fingers knowing just how to fix things. Tom has always been good at mending things. It had been three years now and he was a full time employee at the JBT Carpentry Services. He says it doesn’t pay much, but he’s happy; and that's all that matters.

As you park the car outside the Shed Tom comes out. Standing under the colorful christmas lights he grins widely as he sees you, his eyes crinkling at the sides. The most genuine smile you know. He’s tanned from a summer spent on the beach, his hair a wavy mess; as if he’d just woken up from sleep. It’s a warm august day and the world seems sunbleached somehow; but in the afternoon light Tom looks golden. 

You are painfully aware that it is the last time you’ll see him like this for many months to come.

Walking up to him and he gives you a bear-hug; his warm, hard body pressed against yours, holding onto you tightly. With your face in the crook of his neck you breathe him in and discover that a faint trace of bonfire smoke still lingers on his skin. It all feels achingly familiar and safe. So heartrendingly unlike the uncertain life at university that lies in front of you.

Tom is your safe place.

Your parents had always fought like cat and dog and sometimes when you were younger and  they’d argue you’d climb through your window and walk all the way over to the Holland household. You were always welcomed there and his parents didn’t ask any questions, no matter how late the hour; instead they fed you, treating you like a member of the family around the dining table with gentle teasing and reminders of homework that needed to be done, letting you sleep over when needed. No questions asked. 

With the years the fighting at home got worse. When Tom fixed himself a beat-up old Land Rover and moved out to the Shed you’d call him from the payphone down the road. He’d always answer, telling you to pack up; and that he was on his way. He’d pick you up by the end of the street, a duffle bag with schoolbooks and a change of clothes slung over your shoulder. He’d take you back to his place to sleep. His caravan only had one bed, so you used to curl up next to each other in bed. On the nights when you were crying he’d hold you, and in the morning he’d make you breakfast before you both went off to school. 

Your parents never noticed your temporary absence. 

Tom lets go of the hug, but with an arm around your waist he leads you into his home. There’s a lingering scent of fried food in the air and the boombox is playing the 3 Doors down CD he’s been obsessed with since you bought it for his birthday. You tread the cherry wood veneered flooring with your battered tennis shoes, feeling more at home here than anywhere else on earth.

 “Fancy a beer?” Tom asks, leading the way to the kitchen area. “Warn you though, it's warm. Just got back from the store so they haven’t had time to cool”.

Everything is warm today, and the caravan is no exception. The ancient AC had given in years ago and Tom could never afford having it fixed. You heave yourself up on the countertop, replying a simple “sure” to his question. 

He opens a Stella and hands it to you. He isn’t wrong, the beer is tepid. Yet you drown half the bottle in one big swig; happy just to have something to do with your hands when he’s standing so close to you. Gulping down on the liquid and you cannot help but notice Tom’s eyes on your throat as you swallow. He opens a bottle for himself and takes a swig. 

You smile at the ancient gray t-shirt he’s wearing. At one point there had been a band logo on it, but it has long since been washed out. He notices you smiling at him and as if it's infectious a smile broadens on his face as well. “What?” he asks, leaning against the small counter across from you.

“Nothing” you say, smiling wider. “Just wondered how many times I’ve seen you in that shirt. I mean, it has to be near a couple of thousand times by now”.

“You don't exactly love buying new clothes either” he says, a teasing smile playing at his lips as he looks at your washed out jeans shorts. “I know for a fact that those aren’t new, darling”. His eyes linger on your legs for a moment too long before he looks away, taking a swig from his beer. 

“So, when are you leaving?” He asks, and you can tell that he’s trying to sound relaxed, but leaned against the countertop, his arms crossed in front of him, head bowed; holding onto the bottle of Stella he’s nursing with a tight grip. He looks tense and on edge. 

“Tomorrow morning”

He takes a swig from his beer. There’s nothing more to say, not really. Everything that happens now is just aftermath; you might as well have already left. 

“I’m nervous” you admit, biting your lip, trying hard not to et out the tears you’ve been holding in for days now; embarrassed that your voice trembles on the last word. 

His head snaps up to look at you. Pushing off the counter he takes a step forward, placing himself in between your legs. 

“Hey” he says, with a voice a low and gentle as a whisper, his hand cupping your cheek. You look up at him; long dark eyelashes framing his beautiful brown eyes, his thin lips slightly parted and across his nose freckles are spread out, the result from a summer spent in the sun. His calloused hand strokes your cheek. “You’re going to take them by storm, Pebbles”.

You smile, despite your fluttering heart. He hasn’t called you Pebbles for a long time. It had been his nickname for you when you first became friends, the reason behind it long forgotten. He was the only one to ever call you it, and the name had lingered long into your late teenage years. 

“You took me by storm,” he admits. 

You blink up at him through wet eyelashes. Your family had moved to the town when you were ten years old. This was the kind of small town that strangers seldom came to and inhabitants rarely left; and so the new addition to the small local school had everyone talking. You had felt like an astronaut shuffled into space on your first day, trying to find gravity in the unfamiliar school corridors. You had felt the pull of gravity in form of the brown-eyed boy sitting next to you in english class. He had given you a warm smile as you sat down next to him. He had made you his friend, listened to you and confided in you; had made you laugh until your stomach ached. You found further gravity in his home; surrounded by his family and their endless squabbles and laughter, sitting next to Tom at the dinner table.

It hadn’t taken long before you and Tom were an inseparable item; your names always linked to one another in the mouths of others. 

“You’ve worked so hard for this scholarship” he says, and the corners of his mouth tugs up into a smile, “I mean, I’m pretty certain you’re the only reason I even finished school”.

You had helped him write most of his essays at school. He’d struggled with reading a lot and found the assigned novels difficult. There were evenings where you’d spend hours laying on the bed; twisting the phone cord between your fingers, as you read the books out loud for him. 

Sometimes, in order to be left alone from his parents and younger brothers, he’d walk down to the end of the street and to the payphone there, where he’d spend all his pennies listening to you reading. You had talked and talked until your voice got hoarse; until he ran out of pennies. Yet when he hung up you always felt a tug of longing in your chest, knowing you wouldn’t be able to see him until the next day in school. 

“Well,  I heard you’re doing pretty good as a carpenter” you say, smiling up at him. “I always knew you’d be good with your hands”. 

As soon as you’ve said it you can feel your face heat up. You had heard the rumours at school; Tom Holland is a stellar fuck. Once, while you were in the bathroom stall, you had heard a gang of girls discuss it as they reapplied their lipgloss in the mirror. One of them told the story of her one night stand with Tom, how he had made her come several times over with his hands and mouth; how he’d fucked her so long and so good. You had stood in the stall, your heart in your throat; feeling sick to your stomach, but unable to stop listening.

There were girls that reached out to you in school, knowing you were Tom’s closest friend, and asked you in hushed but awed voices if it was true. If he really that good in bed.

He looks you dead in the eye, an unusual seriousness to his warm eyes. He knows what you’re thinking, knows what thoughts have made your cheeks flush with colour. Letting go of your cheek he places his arms on either side of you on the counter; caging you in. 

“There’s never been anyone but you, Pebbles. Not really.” His tone is heavy with meaning and you feel light-headed; both oddly detached from your own body and painfully aware of the closeness of his. Your heart is beating hard in your chest. 

This is a line you’ve never crossed before. 

“I know I’m ruining everything by saying this, but you’re leaving tomorrow and I’ve been walking around with this secret lodged in my chest like a bullet since i was ten years old; I love you, Pebbles. I’ve always have”.

You should speak. You should tell him that you’ve known for a long time how he’s felt. That it’s been evident in the way his eyes keep lingering on your legs, in the way his arm usually finds its way to rest around your waist. In the way he’s always been there for you. You should tell him that you understand why he hasn’t been able to voice his feelings for you; because you haven’t done it either. Too scared of losing him. But your breath has caught in your throat and all you can focus on is those caramel eyes on you, and how hard your heart is beating in your chest.

“I love you too” you say, voice hardly louder than a whisper. You swear there was music coming from the boom box but all you can hear is the blood rushing through your body. 

He kisses you.

He takes your mouth slowly, kissing you thoroughly until you can’t think straight; can’t remember any other kiss than his. Then his lips move over yours with more fervour; more urgency, one hand around your throat and the other tangled in your hair. He kisses you until you're both moaning and gasping for more. 

This is it. You’ve crossed the invisible line between friends and lovers; and there is no return, no going back from here. When you leave tomorrow you will leave knowing what his mouth feels like pressed against your.

You dig your hands into his soft hair, runs them both up his chest, realising that this is what your hands were made for. He lifts you off the counter and you wrap your legs around his waist. He moves you both across the caravan and into the bedroom. It’s baking hot in there and you can already feel sweat forming at the low end of your back. The room, just big enough for a bed to fit, is lit up with sunlight. His bed is a mess of rumpled white sheets and the walls are the same cherry wood colour as the rest of the caravan. 

You kiss and lick his jaw, his neck, his throat; anywhere you can reach you stroke him. You tug at his hair, kiss his soft lips, and nib at his ear. It’s like the gates have been opened, because even though his arm has always been a comforting presence around your waist; and even though you’ve slept in the same bed more times than you can count, his body curled up next to yours, forming himself like a question mark around your body; he’s never been yours to touch before. Not like this.

His breathing is accelerated, his chest rising and falling in rapid speed, and so is yours. There’s a heat to his eyes that tells you he’s just as turned on as you are. You pull at his shirt before he’s even laid you down on the bed; impatiently craving all his warm, suntanned skin pressed against yours. It’s an almost feverish frenzy, and in the back of your mind you know that you should take this slow. You don’t want this to end too soon, because this might be all you get. But the sun hasn’t even set yet and through the old white-washed curtains you helped put up and light shines through, bathing you both sunshine. 

Outside the waves keep crashing against the shore and in the kitchen his boombox keeps playing songs you’ve heard a million times before. It is like it always has been at Tom’s, except that for laying on his sofa and talking he’s removing your clothes; kissing his way down your body. Wet, opened mouth kisses that leave a trail of heat in its wake that have you bucking your hips up for more. His hands are everywhere, exploring your legs. He’s looking at your skin with wide-eyes adoration. With his body in between your wide spread legs he kisses the soft inside of your thighs. 

“So soft” he groans against your skin, “and so sweet”.

You feel overheated and breathless; aching all over from wanting him. Perched up on your elbows you observe him; his dark hair brushing against the low of your stomach as he kisses the tender skin of your hip bone. He bares his teeth and bites the sensitive flesh. 

His hand cups your cunt. You’re wet and aching and as you presses his thumb to your clit, gently but steadily moving up and down, you feel like you’re going to combust. His strokes are soft at first, before speeding up, making you moan wantonly, spreading your legs wider for him.

“Glad you like that,” he says, a satisfied smile spreading on his face. “Do my fingers feel good on you, darling?”

All you can do is moan in response, arching and moving your hips up to meet his hand. His movements are fast and slippery and it doesn’t take long until your close, so close, so close; on the brink of tipping over and then - 

A sharp slap on your pussy, leaving a stinging bite, and it is like the world splits into two. 

“God” you moan, voice hoarse. You’re shuddering all over; moanes falling freely from your lips. 

He looks up at you from his position in between your legs, his dark eyes sparkling. He kisses the soft inside of your thighs again. “You have any idea how long I’ve wanted to kiss you here?” he asks. “I bet you do, torturing me for fun in those short jeans shorts”. He spanks your pussy again and you couldn’t have stopped the moan falling from your lips even if you tried. “How long I’ve wanted to taste you here?”. And he places a hot kiss on your wet slit. You can feel his soft hair pressed against your thighs; his warm breath against your skin.

His lips part and he covers you with his mouth, his tongue moving over your opening; touching you, stroking you, tasting you. A guttural moan leaves him. He looks up at you through tassels of hair, caramel eyes glued to your face.

You fall back against the mattress, “more” you demand, in a voice that sounds a lot like begging. “Please, more”.

It is as if he’s been unleashed. You have never felt anything like it, but he laps you up, tastes you; his fingers moving inside you; pressing against the place that has you seeing stars. You can’t even look at him now, you’re eyes shut; too overwhelmed by the stimulation. Both aching for more but not sure if your body can handle that kind of pleasure. Your thighs are shaking, and something in your stomach grows tighter and tighter by each flick of his tongue against your clit.

“I’m coming” you cry out breathlessly “fuck I’m coming”

And you do. Hard. He keeps kissing and touching you through it; both grounding you and dragging out the intense sensation. 

His hands, now familiar with your thighs, make their way up to the soft swell of your breasts, as you struggle to regain your breath. He’s cupping them in his hands, pinching your nipples in between his fingers, kissing them with ferveor. Hungry hands move over your breasts, your stomach, your face; cupping it so that he can kiss you with the sort of yearning that comes from years of unanswered desire. 

Your hands move over his body as well, moving over his abdomen chest and arms, defined from long hours of hard work. You kiss his throat and collarbones, kissing at the skin; licking, sucking and biting until you hear guttural moans coming from his throat. His lips are slightly parted, and his glossy dark eyes are fixed on your face; his fingers loosely tangled in your hair. 

He presses you down onto the mattress again, until he’s face to face; his arms on each side of your face, holding himself over you.

“You sure?” he asks, voice hoarse, panting slightly. 

“I want this” you answer him, voice low but clear, “I really, really want this Tom”

He smiles, breathing out the breath he’d been holding and moves away from you, reaching for the side of his bed and to take out a condom from the drawer. 

He places a quick kiss to your lips, your cheek, your belly button, before he sits up. He removes his underwear and you can feel your face heat up again. Because this is Tom, your Tom, whom you’ve been in love with for half your life. But being with him, both naked as the day you were born, feels right. You know everything about this man, all his preferences and secrets; his favourite movie and how he likes his food and why he skipped class every day for a month in year nine. And he knows everything about you. It feels right that he should know this as well; know each curve of your body and the way you like to be kissed and what has you moaning and begging for more. 

He unwraps the foil package and puts the condom on with firm fingers. Leaning over you again he lines up against your opening. His eyes glossy with lust, damp hair falling over his face; his mouth swollen and wet from kissing you.

Then with a sharp thrust and a groan he’s inside you. 

All coherent thoughts go out the window as he starts moving in and out of you. The only thing that exists is his strong, sweaty body above you, moving in and out of you with slow, deep thrusts. He’s so hard where you are soft and you can’t stop touching him, dragging your fingers over his back, pulling at his hair, kissing his arms. It’s like the wires in your brain have crossed, sending out sparks of pure pleasure in your body. 

He hits a particularly tender spot inside you and the groan that leaves you is almost animalistic.

Tom nearly halters in his pace, before collecting himself again. “Fuck” he moans out, kissing your neck. His movements become more frenzied and you roll your hips under him, meeting his movements; trying to get him deeper inside you. 

He pushes himself up onto his hands, pulls back slightly; and pushes in. Starting to really fuck you. 

You can’t stop looking up at him; naked body damp with sweat, muscles moving as he works; arms flexed and cheeks flushed. His eyes are closed pleasure now. Your hands are on his hips helping him set the pace as he fucks into you with fast, hard thrusts. Without warning you clutch around him in pleasure and he groans loudly.

“How the fuck does your cunt feel better than it tastes?” he asks, panting for air. “

He presses a hand over your heart, letting it rest there. You wonder if he can feel it pounding for him. You feel like you’re dissolving into a thousand tiny pieces as you come around him with a choked scream. 

He’s so close and you can practically feel it; aching for him to have it. You want him to come; in you, on you, over you. 

And then he does, his brows furrows; like the pleasure is so intense it hurts him. The sounds he makes when he comes are guttural; almost whimpering. 

As he falls down on the bed beside you he pulls you close, has you pressed against his body, an arm firmly wrapped around you. The sun has set now, but the ocean waves still crash onto the shore, the sound of it the only thing to fill the silence part from your laboured breathing; the music having gone quiet in the other room. 

Neither one of you say anything. You knew the end to this when he kissed you. You’ve regretted nothing that has happened here, and you know that he doesn’t either; but tomorrow you are leaving to drive all the way across the country and he cannot follow. You don’t know what will happen now, and he doesn't have the answer to that either. And so you just let him hold you; wishing with all your might that you could stop the morning from coming.

***

Please let me know your thoughts, genuinely don’t know what to make of this one. 

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Alternate Future chapter 11: In Dreams (originally posted on March 29, 2021)

AN: Hope you all packed your bags dear readers, cause we're gonna go on a real trip. One of my initial ideas for Alternate Future was with the addition as Aquamarine as a more major antagonist, we'd also have a mini-character arc about Peridot blaming herself for Steven's capture at the end of Season 4 even years later, which I felt was kind of a waste of possible character development for the little nacho. Regardless, it's time I finally see it through myself. And trust me, I'm really gonna put Peri through the wringer.

Synopsis: Steven's dream powers start acting up when he and Peridot want to watch TV.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven, Stefan

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Johnny Hawkes as Cookie Cat, Rodrigo

Marieve Hernington as Jasmine

Della Saba as Marine, Aquamarine

--

The night was dark as Steven strolled through Beach City on his way home after a long day until he heard music. Racing to the beach house, he discovered that colorful flashing lights and loud music were coming from inside the house, and that got him super excited.

"All right!" Steven gasped cheerfully. "Now that I've saved the universe, I finally get to party!" When he raced to his front window, Steven could see all his friends inside dancing the night away. Garnet, Amethyst & Pearl, Lars and the Off-Colors, Lapis, Bismuth & Peridot, Connie, even Onion was breaking it down. Before he could join the fun, however, the door and windows suddenly vanished, leaving behind an empty wooden wall. "Huh? Hey guys, let me in! This isn't funny!"

"STEVEN!" a booming voice echoed from above. When Steven looked up, he discovered that Obsidian's head was replaced with a giant Cookie Cat looking down on him with a taunting grin. "NOBODY NEEDS YOUR HELP! SO WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!"

"What?!" Steven cried before the porch opened up like a trap door under him, forcing the boy to fall through the sky screaming.

--

"STEVEN! STEVEN!"

A little voice broke Steven out of slumber and back into the real world in his bedroom. "Why do I keep having these dreams?" he mused to himself. "Are they telling me something?"

"STEVEN, OPEN UP!" the voice cried out while pounding on the door.

"Peridot?" Steven began to recognize the green Gem's nasally voice as he walked downstairs and let the former Kindergartener in.

"STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN!" Peridot chanted, beetling in place while holding popcorn and drinks. "Today's the big day! Did you tape the premiere?!"

"What premiere? I have no idea what you're talking about." Steven said coyly.

"But you promised me!" Peridot whined, not realizing that her half-organic friend might be joking.

"Oh, you mean the premiere of the reboot of the classic Great North teen camping drama Camp Pining Hearts that I recorded," Steven revealed as he pulled out a VHS tape. "on this very tape?"

Peridot gasped at the mere mention of the show she had awaited for so long and began squealing excitedly. "Yes, it's finally here!"

"THE RETURN OF CAMP PINING HEARTS!" the pair declared joyfully.

--

Steven and Peridot raced upstairs to watch the Camp Pining Hearts reboot when Steven realized someone was missing. "Hey, where's Lapis? I thought she was a big fan of CPH as you are."

"Oh, she declined to attend our viewing because she feels this reboot will be an abomination." Peridot answered as she sat down at the foot of Steven's bed. "You know that United Defenders of the World show? She really likes that too, and that's gotten a reboot much like Camp Pining Hearts, but she doesn't like how that is so dark and depressing because apparently, it's more adult. I mean, come on! Can't we go one minute without any intense violence or Mangolin yelling so many nasty wo-"

"What, she's not coming because one show clouds her judgment of another?" Steven rolled his eyes at Peridot's explanation while putting the tape into his VHS player. "That's a little silly. But I'm glad you were still able to come because I've been having these weird dreams lately. Like, are any of them real or-"

"That's not important Steven!" Peridot shut her fellow fan's mouth. "Now press play already you monster!"

Steven chuckled for a bit before he started the tape, and the theme song for the Camp Pining Hearts reboot began to play while two attractive young actors were credited for the roles of its leads, Jasmine and Rodrigo. Steven excitedly ate popcorn while Peridot waved a Great North flag around as the show began.

--

Fifty-two minutes later, the credits finally rolled, and Steven & Peridot were left stunned, silent, and disappointed.

"L-Lapis warned me, and I didn't listen." Peridot quivered in shock.

"W-what?" Steven added, just as horrified. "What…."

"WHAT HAVE THEY DONE?!" the pair roared in unison.

"What is with that Rodrigo guy?!" Peridot began complaining and clawing at her face. "He has no charisma! He is clearly inferior to the old cast!"

"And can we just talk about the cinematography?" Steven added just as furiously while Peridot got up and marched towards the TV.

"They changed all the characters, and I don't care about any one of them!" Peridot threw a tantrum and began venting by picking up the set & slamming it to the ground. "How could this happen to us?!" she began to cry her eyes out on the television. "Camp Pining Hearts was my escape when I first arrived on Earth, when my whole world was nothing but chaos!"

"CPH brought us all together." Steven comforted his green friend, though he was sobbing as well.

"And now, just look at this nightmare!" Peridot yelled with a hand to the TV screen when it stopped showing the Camp Pining Hearts reboot. Instead, it began playing Steven's dream from last night. "Wait, Steven, when were you ever an actor?"

"What? No, they didn't!" Steven exclaimed as the dream continued on television. "Is this my dreams?" When Steven watched himself fall from the beach house in his dream, the TV then switched back to Camp Pining Hearts. "Whoa! My dream powers must be messing with the TV signal!"

"How in the world is that even possible?!" Peridot raised an eyebrow at this revelation, but it also gave her an idea. "Wait just a second. Steven, you realize what this means?!"

"I should start wearing a tinfoil hat?" Steven asked, unaware of what the little genius had planned.

"No!" Peridot answered. "If we use your dream powers on the TV, we can make our own Camp Pining Hearts! We'll reboot the reboot!"

"Reboot the reboot?" Steven realized and excitedly stood up. "Peridot, you're a genius!"

"I know." Peridot smugly declared.

"Plus, it would be really fun to fix something small this time." Steven said before Peridot wrapped a lime-colored arm around his neck.

"This shall be the beginning of Peridot & Steven Productions!" Peridot triumphantly declared.

"Yeah!" Steven added, and then he fell from Peridot's grasp.

--

Later that day, Steven and Peridot were now standing in front of a whiteboard detailing all their plans for fixing the Camp Pining Hearts Reboot, bouncing more plans off each other in regards to shipping.

"So Peridot, you think Jasmine's endgame should be Khaz or Rodrigo?" Steven asked Peridot while looking at a web of pictures of the characters from the reboot.

"It seems the characters are trying to railroad us into a Jasrigo relationship, despite turning everyone else into complete jerks just because they don't agree with-" Peridot began, but then she started getting irritated. "Gah, these characters have no chemistry together! It's like they're being shipped just because they're the leading man and woman!"

"Just can't get into Rodrigo, eh?" Steven asked his writing partner.

"He's just so passive and quiet, it's positively irritating!" Peridot yelled. "He has none of the old cast's personalities that made them so memorable!"

"Sure he may be really quiet and soft," Steven assured Peridot. "but what if we try to do something with his social anxiety and peanut allergy despite them not being connected to the larger story, like make him a foil?"

"A foil, you say?" Peridot raised an eyebrow at Steven's idea. "Okay, I'm listening."

"I got it!" Steven declared before he sat down in front of some pencils and paper and began to draw. "I call him Stefan." He began explaining while drawing. "He's a hunky lifeguard friend with nice muscles that everyone likes and wants to hang out with. His popularity is both a blessing and a curse, yet always makes time to help his buddy Rodrigo boost his confidence." He handed his final drawing over to Peridot, which turned out to be a sketch of a more muscular Steven.

"So he's like your self-insert!" Peridot beamed at her friend's work. "I like your ideas, Stefan!"

--

As night fell, Steven got back into bed with a bowl of chili in his lap while Peridot inserted the tape into the VCR player.

"Uh, why are you eating at bedtime?" Peridot questioned Steven's choice of a bedtime meal.

"Oh, you mean my chili?" Steven replied, gesturing to the chili in his hands. "I read that eating spicy stuff before bed makes your dreams super vivid."

"I appreciate your initiative, fellow creator." Peridot grinned at Steven's idea while he continued eating his chili.

"Thanks, Peridot." Steven thanked Peridot before putting the bowl on his nightstand and tucking himself in. "Okay, good night."

"Good night Steven. But remember," Peridot said as she started whispering into Steven's ear. "action-orientated storytelling."

--

"Hey Jasmine, I hear you love birds." A tanned, muscular version of Steven said flirtatiously to a cute brown-haired girl examining a bird perched in her hand.

"Sure Stefan." Jasmine giggled cutely.

"Well, a little birdie told me downstream that there's a special island somewhere 'round here." Stefan replied, leaning against a tree and giving Jasmine a wink while pointing offscreen. "I hear it's full of rare specimens."

"Did you hear that?" Jasmine gasped elatedly. "Thank you so much Stefan!" Stefan responded by giving Jasmine another wink.

Meanwhile, Rodrigo was by himself at a campsite reading an instructional book on how to date when Stefan came racing to him.

"Rodrigo, I've got terrible news!" Stefan exclaimed, catching Rodrigo's attention. "Jasmine's in danger!"

"Wait, what?!" Rodrigo did a double-take in response.

"She's headed for that island full of dangerous birds!" Stefan revealed, propping one foot on a rock and dramatically pointing to the river nearby. "But if we go downstream, we can surely save her!"

"Okay Stefan, you're the best!" Rodrigo shouted. "Let's go save Jasmine!"

The pair raced for a pair of canoes docked close to the campsite and began rowing through the river to rescue Jasmine.

"Thanks for telling me Jasmine was in trouble Stefan, you're such a great guy." Rodrigo complimented Stefan.

"You're welcome Rodrigo." Stefan replied gratefully. "You're pretty great yourself, y'know, great enough for Jasmine to like you."

"You really mean it?" Rodrigo asked eagerly.

"I can tell by the way she looks at," Stefan began, but then he started getting sidetracked by Blue Diamond with the body of a dolphin, a gargantuan pineapple with Yellow Diamond's face on it, and a pair of White Diamond's feet right next to the fruit. "you? Huh?"

"Stefan, is something the matter?" Rodrigo asked Stefan, or rather Steven, who had now replaced Stefan in the dream.

"Oh no, not again!" Steven began panicking as he started to glow pink yet again, not knowing how things ended up like this.

--

As Steven woke up in his bed, he found Peridot standing at the side of his bed, looking very excited at how the experiment went.

"Oh my stars Steven, you did it!" Peridot cheered excitedly. "You just fell asleep and started turning pink, which started happening in the dream! Here, I'll show you!" She then ran over to the TV and began playing Steven's dream again. "Our script, our story, it's on the television and it's wonderful!" she kept on praising. "Not sure what you were going for with that bizarre imagery towards the end but I'll admit, seeing Yellow Diamond's face on a pineapple made me laugh."

Amid Peridot's eagerness, however, Steven then started to get drowsy again.

"Steven, are you okay?" Peridot asked with concern.

"Sorry Peri, just feeling a little off." Steven assured her. "Maybe eating that chili wasn't a great idea."

"Yeah yeah, don't believe everything you read online and all that." Peridot japed. "We got none of the money in the world, and all the time in our hands. Hey, I've got a great idea of my own! Picture this, a mysterious young woman with a teardrop tattoo on her face arrives at the camp because she wants to kidnap Stefan for her own dark designs. But before she can succeed, Pierre from the original Camp Pining Hearts comes in to save the day!"

"Uh, okay then." Steven replied awkwardly while trying to make himself comfortable. "But you're right, let's pull off a do-over. We can try as many times as we want until we get it right."

"Less talking, more sleeping." Peridot pushed a star-shaped pillow into Steven's chest and forced him onto his mattress before pulling his eyelids down.

--

Every time Steven went to sleep, he was back to canoeing with Rodrigo to rescue Jasmine. And every time, Rodrigo was replaced in his canoes by some very unexpected characters.

The first time this happened, Rodrigo was suddenly replaced by Dogcopter, of all things. As Dogcopter flew off using the propeller on his back, Stefan reached out to the flying canine before Steven awakened with bags under his eyes.

The second time, Rodrigo's place was taken by Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. The three Gems then flew away from Stefan just like Dogcopter did, and Stefan cried out for them before Steven woke up yet again, and the bags were starting to get darker.

The third time, Rodrigo didn't disappear. Instead, he started getting more unnerved as Spinel's massive Injector was present in the background, and Stefan was suddenly replaced with Steven as a baby.

Suddenly, a young woman with a teardrop tattoo on her face, just like what Peridot had described, snatched the baby Steven from the canoe with a maniacal laugh before Pierre, who now looked like he had green-lensed glasses and triangular hair, boldly stepped in and stood up to the woman.

Steven once again woke up, his baggy eyes now at their darkest, while Peridot just sighed in defeat.

--

The next morning, Steven sat down to some cereal and milk in the kitchen when Peridot suddenly appeared with a big stack of papers in front of her. "Uh, what's all this?"

"I've concluded that a script just wasn't working!" Peridot proudly announced. "So I've decided to take a more visual approach and made a whole series of storyboards for us to use! Besides, I've seen tons of cartoons use more storyboards than scripts, for better or for worse."

"You made all of these in one night?' Steven gasped in amazement at the triangular Gem's feat while looking through the storyboards.

"Duh, I'm good at everything!" Peridot bragged. "Now please study these in preparation for tonight."

"Hey, I got a question." Steven said while putting out one of the storyboards that featured the same tattooed woman from his dream. "Who's this girl, and why does Pierre look so much like you now?"

"Uh, that's Marine, Pierre's new arch-foe!" Peridot answered, awkwardly twiddling her fingers and looking in every conceivable direction. "She is totally not based on anyone we've met before."

"Are you sure?" Steven asked suspiciously while flicking through more storyboards featuring Marine. "Cause her haircut and location of her tattoo kinda reminds me of Aq-" Suddenly, he stopped to discover a new storyboard of Stefan having a romantic moment with Jasmine. "Wait, why is Stefan kissing Jasmine?"

"It's perfect!" Peridot yelled eagerly. "Right as Rodrigo is about to save Stefan from this reverse damsel in distress situation, he discovers that Jasmine got to him first, and they're already kissing too! Imagine, Jasmine defying gender clichés to save Stefan, unaware that they're stroking the fires of Rodrigo's jealousy!"

"I can't do Rodrigo this dirty!" Steven objected to the idea. "It's not only a betrayal of the friendship we gave him and Stefan, but it's also poor romantic drama too!"

"Whoa, take it easy Steven, they're just characters. No need to become so addicted to their love lives!" Peridot tried to excuse herself. "This is a story, and a good story needs conflict!"

"No, I still don't want to do this!" Steven declared angrily, startling Peridot before she came to an understanding.

"Look Steven, I can see you're pretty worn out from last night." Peridot said sadly as she began to get up and walk away. "Let's just scrap the whole project."

"What?" Steven replied in shock.

"There's really no point in continuing if it stresses you out that much." Peridot sighed as she grabbed the door handle. "Besides, I got classes to teach at Little Homeworld anyway."

But when Peridot was close to opening the front door and leaving the house, a flash of pink convinced Steven to change his mind. "No, wait!" he exclaimed, stopping the little Gem in her tracks. "I'll do the scene."

"Really?!" Peridot turned back with a cute smile and stars in her eyes.

"Anything to make you happy." Steven replied wearily. Though he was happy that Peridot was happy, he let out a heavy sigh as he was forced to put his friends before himself yet again.

--

"Oh no, that dastardly Marine has Stefan captured!" Rodrigo cried as he quickly rowed downstream to save his dear friend. "Jasmine said she's going to help him, but I haven't heard from her since!"

But just as Rodrigo finished his sentence, he finally found Stefan and Jasmine safe from harm, while Marine was left tied up beside them.

"You won't get away with this Stefan!" Marine yelled before she noticed Rodrigo, and had another fiendish idea in the works. "Hey Rodrigo, look! Your best friend's a cheater!"

"What?!" Rodrigo exclaimed, staring straight at Stefan and Jasmine kissing passionately. "Stefan, how could you?!"

"Rodrigo, this isn't what it looks like!" Stefan cried to Rodrigo in Steven's voice, but he wasn't there. And neither were Jasmine and Marine. And right before Stefan was a very angry-looking Connie. "Connie?"

Suddenly, Connie began to grow into the size of a giant and then turned into Obsidian. Stefan meanwhile was turned back into Steven as the Connie-Obsidian hybrid raised a foot and lowered it to crush him.

--

Steven then woke up in his old room wearing his old pajamas. Just like in the real world, Peridot remained by his side watching the television, but she was eerily silent, a far cry from her usual smug and loud yet cheerful nature.

"Peridot, my dreams are going nuts!" Steven informed Peridot while getting out of bed and walking over to her. "First everyone disappeared, then Jasmine turned into Connie, and she tried to squish me which is how I ended up here!" However, Peridot said nothing and continued facing the television. "Peridot?" Steven asked as he grabbed the green Gem's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

When Steven turned Peridot to face him, her visor and gem were now filled with SMPTE color bars and her expression showed no emotion at all. Steven's old bedroom abruptly vanished, and his PJs turned into his normal clothes as he noticed Peridot emotionlessly marching towards the beach house from the dream he woke up from the previous day. "Peridot!"

"Oh, poor little Steven." A familiar bratty voice called to Steven as he chased after Peridot. From the clouds came Aquamarine, still as haughty as ever and now in possession of her wand once more. "Don't you see? It's all her fault that I kidnapped you, that you had to learn all those horrible things about your mother! And yet not once did her blatant betrayal ever come up again."

"You don't know Peridot like I do, you little twerp!" Steven yelled at Aquamarine as he gained on Peridot, who was about to open the front door. "She's changed ever since we first met. She once tried to kill me like every other Gem who's ever antagonized me, but now she's become so sweet and funny!"

"Oh please, just because you like her now doesn't mean you should completely forget about all the ways she's harmed you." Aquamarine taunted before she restrained Steven with a tractor beam, but his iron will allowed him to resist as he tried to stop Peridot.

"Please Peri, don't go in there!" Steven strained from resisting the tractor beam and reached out to Peridot. "I still really want to hang out with you!" Just then, the floor disappeared beneath Steven and Peridot just like in the earlier dream. Peridot seemingly floated in midair while Steven leaped to the edge of the porch and continued reaching out to her, as the front of the house turned into color bars as well. "We always had something to fix together! The Cluster, the Diamonds, Spinel, but I don't know how I can be anyone's friend without something to fix!"

"Why can't you just surrender already?!" Aquamarine yelled as she tried to reel Steven in like a fish. "Your suffering is all because of her, and she's felt so worthless because of you!" Unfortunately for her, the tractor beam broke and the small, flying Gem was catapulted away from the pair. "We'll meet again brat!"

"I-I just can't do it anymore!" Steven cried to Peridot, unaware of the dream version of Aquamarine's failure to catch him. "I'm just so tired, and now I'm even trying to fix something in my dreams!" He soon started to cry as he got closer to Peridot. "I'm sorry I can't do this for you! Just please don't leave me!"

Peridot remained stoic as Steven kept on grasping for her. "Don't…leave."

The dream ended just like a VHS tape being removed from a VCR before a muffled voice began calling for Steven.

--

"Steven? Steven!"

Steven was suddenly shook awake with tears in his eyes, and he discovered Peridot leaning over him crying just as much.

"I saw everything Steven, and yes, it is true!" Peridot admitted sorrowfully. "A good reason why I was using your dreams is because I never got over how you were kidnapped because of me! I was so worried the other Gems would declare me a traitor, but they never bothered to bring it up. You know what, we don't have to do this anymore!" Steven then gave her a tight hug. "I don't care about the show anymore, or Rodrigo especially! I just want what's best for you! I'm such a clod!"

"It's okay Dottie, it's okay." Steven comforted his green pal. "I kind of knew something was up when you first mentioned Marine and Pierre, but I didn't know you've bottling this up for so long."

"I know, it's so unhealthy of me." Peridot wept. "I just needed something to vent with, so that's why I wanted to spend time with you. It's okay if you don't want an excuse to hang out anymore."

"But I do want to keep hanging out." Steven assured Peridot. "With or without all this trauma. We're friends, right?"

"I guess you're right." Peridot smiled sadly.

"You still want to watch CPH together," Steven offered. "even if it's terrible?"

In response, Peridot took off her visor and began wiping some tears, shedding the mask she had kept up for her entire stay. "Of course."

--

"How could you lie to me like this Rodrigo?!" Jasmine yelled crossly at her love interest while Steven and Peridot laughed as it all went down. "I bet you just can't help being an awful person!"

"You just buried a dead body Jasmine, and you're getting mad at Rodrigo for cheating at cards?!" Peridot cackled, pounding her fist on the floor. "Some protagonist you turned out to be! Oh my stars, this show is the worst!"

"This show is the best." Steven smiled contently before the pair leaned up against each other with smiles on their faces.

--

Like I said, wasted opportunity for more Peridot development. And yes my friends, that United Defenders of the World show was a total middle finger to dark & edgy teen drama reboots of family-friendly properties with fans of all ages. It happened to Archie, it happened to Winx Club and it's even gonna happen to the Powerpuff Girls soon. But I'm getting off topic, this was a pretty fun chapter to write since I love Peridot so much and she has an incredible dynamic with Steven. Speaking of green Gems, next chapter goes into original territory once again as we finally shine a light on a corrupted Gem that's seemingly been erased from existence come Future. That's right Nephrite, come on down!

[youralternantpersonality]

Dreams

Seth x Reader: Wanting you

Warning: Breaking fourth wall. Let me know if you catch it 😉 and gender-neutral parental names

Part 1: “Dreams” by Ella Eyre

Part 2: “You’ve Got It Bad” by Usher

Part 3: “Never Give Up on Love” by Bobby Tinsley

***

Y/n POV

“Will that be all for you?” I say, finishing up writing down the order.

“Well, I could get your number, beautiful.” One thing that is horrible about being a waitress is dealing with the harassment that comes with it. The best way to deal with verbal harassment (like in this situation) is by giving them the “AS,” as my friends would call it. The Awkward Stare. Now, this stare isn’t having ME become awkward; oh no, this is to make sure THEY do. Essentially, you would look at the predator straight in the eyes and give a resting bitch face until they become uncomfortable and silent. To the point where the whole table is uncomfortable. Kind of like your high school teacher would look at the student when no one would shut up. Once they were fully engaged in avoiding my eyes, I gave a final smile and went put in their order at the counter.

“You know, you could be a little less cute and more intimidating?” said Orion, my now lifetime best friend since I had started this job a couple of months ago. I turn to look at him and give him the finger as he walked around me to bring his tables their food.

“He does have a point. Straighten up your back more, pull your shoulders back, and clock your head to the side just a little. That way, you’ll really knock them.” Emily said. She was a regular here. Every Wednesday at 4 pm and Sunday at 12:30 pm, she would come in, go to her usual spot at the counter, and either order the chiefs salad with a side of a sliced pickle, the garden burger with seasoned fries, or 5 stack pancake with orange/apple juice. Her husband Sam or another kid named Jared and his girlfriend Kim come on Sunday morning, grabbing a crap ton of food (so Emily doesn’t have to cook) and leave. Polite men, scary—at least Sam can be, but polite. Jared is just a child, and I can do nothing but pray for Kim.

“You mean like that ugly pink toad lady from-”

“Don’t say it!” I roll my eyes. Ever since KJ Bowling expressed her feelings towards the LGBTQA+ community, she refuses to acknowledge it. The disbelief and sadness that took over for the love of Henry Planter she had were wild, yet kind of crazy to watch.

“Look, it could be worse. You could love the Dawn saga by Tephanie Neyer and find out that she is horrid in disguise. But hey! Once it hit 2 years, you’ll start realizing all the fucked-up shit in the series and slowly be okay. Dawn fans know Tephanie is fucked up, we know the series is fucked up, we acknowledge it all and take full responsibility for liking it, but some still like it. We don’t support it, but we like it.” I tell her, shrugging my shoulders. I have to remember, she’s a rookie in this game.

“That’s true. Why are the best authors the most fucked up?” she says, playing with her fries I just placed down in front of her.

“Because they hate us and know what the population likes. Just like politics.” I say, stealing one of her fries.

“I don’t know how you guys like that series! Wasn’t there racism, classism with the Ghoul’s and Werecats, hyper-sexualization on the prides where the cats came from, misinformed information, plagiarism, and too, I don’t know, squishy and fluffy in them?” Orion asked.

“First off, they were shapeshifters. Secondly, only in Dawn, Dusk, and Night were squishy. But only because Bethany and Elliot were on their honeymoon in the last one. Daytime didn’t have it because Elliot broke up with Bethany.” I nod in agreement while grabbing the food for my tables.

“I thought their name was Ben and Evy?”

“No, that’s the gender swap version,” I say, walking away with the food. I place the food down at one table and refill drinks to another; some of the reservation guys come in. Seth, Embry, Jake, and Quil. I look over to Orion to call him for his table, but it looks like he and Emily are in a heated discussion about the book series. So, I take over for him. As I walked over to the table, I made eye contact with Seth, and my stomach flipped.

Why you in my dreams? Don't know much about you But I heard about you for the longest time And I see you 'round whenever I go out With some friends of mine And I remember when I saw you standing in a different light It's funny where my mind goes when I'm in my bed at night though

As I lay in bed, I notice that my feelings become stronger and stronger for him almost every time I see him. He was a few inches shorter than me, cheerier, and lanky. I always saw Seth and his friends, but out of nowhere, these…flutters? Feelings? Emotions I don’t like started eating me up every time I see him. I know it might be a crush, I won’t even deny that, but…why?

I toss and turn that night and eventually give up on trying to sleep and just stare at the ceiling, thinking of him. Confused and resistant to even wanting to think about it. The last thing I need is to be in a relationship while in my fucked situation as is. I don’t need my guardians knowing anything about Seth either.

But then again, just like evil authors, life fucks us all over, and you can help but go along with it. Well, unless you sue them. Then that’s different.

'Cause I push you away in real life You ain't even close to my type But when I'm sleeping Everything's upside down, upside down, yeah I saw you last night in my, my dreams It felt so beautiful, I almost believed We were a thing and I liked it I never looked at you like this Till I saw you last night in my, my dreams Why you in my dreams? (Why you in my? Why you in my?) Why you in my dreams? (Why you in my? Why you in my mind?) Seth POV

I saw her again today. She was walking down the hallway with Orion and Kayla to gym class, and we made slight eye contact before Jake decided to take my attention away from her. I look at him, but I don’t really pay attention to him. I don’t know when it happened, but I have always loved Y/n. When she transferred here in middle school, she was cute, shy, and had (and still has) a babyface.

I could never talk to her. Every time I was around her, I’d get so scared and freeze up. And although we’re in high school, I still can’t control it. Lately, my feelings have been getting stronger. Not just with her, but in general. I don’t know what it is, but it’s taking a lot more of my energy trying to control myself. Leah and mom have noticed it too. But Embry was the worst. Speaking of which,

“Hey, where’s Embry?” Quil and Jake looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.

“But did you hear a word I said?”

“Obviously not. He was too busy gawking at Y/n.” Quil said, laughing. I rolled my eyes and walked away. Ass-whores.

After school, we head to the diner and, like always and on cue, Jake and Quil make fun of me because Y/n works there. I roll my eyes at them and attempt to push them off me without smiling, but I can’t help it; they’re stupid. It’s not their fault.

Fell asleep at nine And once I closed my eyes, girl, you were so, so mine We laid in the dark, you left in morning light But, girl, it felt so right And if it's in our minds then we should make it life Girl, I mean real, real life Nothing's never for ya We were all and over for ya 'Cause I push you away in real life You ain't even close to my type But when I'm sleeping Everything's upside down, upside down, yeah I saw you last night in my, my dreams It felt so beautiful, I almost believed We were a thing and I liked it I never looked at you like this Till I saw you last night in my, my dreams

That night I quickly dreamed of her without even having to try to at this point. Every time I want to or attempt to talk, I freeze. Thinking about her just makes me feel…warm. Her beautiful y/e/c eyes are captivating. They’ll draw you in, and once you’re in, you’re stuck. Her y/h/(L/C/T) hair embraces and defines her facial features.

The dream always starts out the same. I’m running through the forest at a high fast pace towards a place that always ends up being her home. I follow around the house to her room on the left side of the house towards the forest. As I look at her window, I see her sitting at the window seal and we instantly make eye contact. My heart stops for a second—she smiles and I walk up to her window to come inside. She doesn’t open the window. She places her hand on the window and my much larger now hands cover hers. We look at one another and smile.

I’m not bothered by her not opening the window. I’m just happy she isn’t freaked out about my presence. Unfortunately, every time she goes to open the window, my alarm wakes me up. And when I mean alarm, I mean Leah.

I groan and curse her and the need to wake me up so early. As I get ready, I think of Y/n and I can’t help but smile. Today’s going be a good day.

Why you in my dreams? (Why you in my? Why you in my?) Why you in my dreams? (Why you in my? Why you in my mind?) Y/n POV

The weekend comes and I’m heading in for my shift Sunday morning. I usually wouldn’t work weekends, but that was before I met Emily. I have Friday and Saturday off instead. It’s eight in the morning and Kayla, two of the cooks, and I all pile in before we open at nine. By 9:30, a few families start piling in and by 10, we have the food catered to Sam or Jared ready.

“Hey, Kim!” I wave to her as she walks into the diner. She waves back and heads to the counter. After setting up my table, I head over to the food and help her pack it up in the truck.

“I see you guys ordered more food than usual. Did more family members move into the area?” I say, passing her the multiple trays from the cart to the car.

“Yeah…something like that,” she laughs it off, “but rest assure, this will be gone within the next 45 minutes…maybe sooner.” I laugh with her. I believe her 100 percent. After seeing Jared and Sam, I already know their family that Kim describes them to be, is just as big, if not larger, then this food should hold them off for 2 hours. Maybe.

“Well, that’s all of them: drive safe, Hun. And stop by sometime after school. You’ll miss the adventures of Orion and Emily arguing over pink and rose gold.”

“Aren’t they different?” I nod my head. “But they’ll argue over that?” I nod my head again. She shakes her head and smiles. “Em usually starts it?”

“Sometimes. Only when she needs a good laugh or when she just feels like fucking with him. Last week they were in a heated discussion about the Dusk saga.”

“Oh, dear god! She told me about that. I can’t believe she went that deep into it with him.” Kim laughs.

“I know. That’s probably the only time they’re not being repelling off the same topic. Normally one would disagree for the fuck of it, but they put their fuckery aside and agreed to agree on that topic.” We both laugh. I finish up my conversation with Kim and head inside.

If I gotta fall asleep, sleep to see ya Then I'm gonna fall asleep, sleep to see ya It's different in the daylight Miss you, I dunno know why If I gotta fall asleep, sleep to see ya Let me fall, fall deep, deep to see ya It's different in the daylight See you in a new light 'Cause I push you away in real life You ain't even close to my type But when I'm sleeping Everything's upside down, upside down, yeah

I wave bye to Em, and Orion comes in. I clock out for my break and go sit in one of the booths in the back. As I am prepping my garden burger with ketchup, I think back to my dream I had last night. This one was recently new, confusing, but knew. I take a much-needed bite of my food and relax for the next 15 minutes.

I just got done with my daily nighttime routine, unable to sleep due to Taylor and Kennedy arguing, I go to my window and look outside. I look up at the sky and just drift off into a world of daydreaming until something catches my eye in the bestrew of trees next to my house. As I continue to look, I see big brown eyes of an animal. I smile and the animal walks out of the trees slowly and morphs into Seth. I smile brighter as he comes closer and closer to me. By the time he reaches me, I can feel myself become excited and full of glow, happiness, and this sensation of warmth.

He steps up to the window and smiles down at me. I place my hand on the cold glass and he looks down at my hand and does the same. I can feel the heat radiating from his skin, which only makes me smile more. I unlock the window and just as I am about to open it, my alarm wakes me up.

I’ve been stuck on this for so long that Orion had to shake me out of my daydream. I put my food aside for later and went back to work. I’ll just deal with the dream another time.

I saw you last night in my, my dreams It felt so beautiful, I almost believed We were a thing and I liked it I never looked at you like this Till I saw you last night in my, my dreams Why you in my dreams? (Why you in my? Why you in my?) Why you in my dreams? (Why you in my? Why you in my mind?)

MasterList

[estamos-destinadas]

Fic: Sad-Looking Creatures

The first time it happens, Juliana is halfway into her first year of fashion school.

It’s the weekend and she has just finished a shift at Perlita’s, where she works part-time. She’s crossing the small park from the bus stop when she hears pitiful meowing from the nearby hedges.

It takes a few minutes of hesitation on her part and half an hour on the kitten’s, but she exits the park with the tiny creature bundled in her arms. She carries the kitten all four blocks and three flights of stairs to the apartment she shares with her mom, the filth on its hair clinging to her arms and shirt.

When Juliana enters the apartment, Lupé greets her with a shocked, “What is that?”

Juliana wordlessly responds with a half-sheepish and half-hopeful smile as she moves closer to her mother. “I found him at the park. I don’t think he’s anybody’s pet, and there was no mama cat around. He was the only one there.”

Lupé opens and closes her mouth several times, though she seems unable to say anything.

“Míralo, ma,” Juliana presses on. “He looks so sad.”

As if on cue, the kitten lets out a tiny ‘meow’.

“Can we keep him?” Juliana asks, brown eyes wide and pleading.

Lupé is suddenly reminded of two incidents during Juliana’s childhood, forgotten until now, with the sight of the ugly thing in her daughter’s arms and the entreating expression on her beautiful face.

Juliana was five years old—maybe six—when she brought home a filthy and malnourished dog, its hair missing in patches, its skin scabbed and scarred. Chino took one look at the dog and kicked it until it ran away. Juliana cried all night and some more the following day.

Years later, at twelve years old, she brought home a sick puppy that belonged to a neighbour who apparently didn’t want it anymore. Juliana fed it and nursed it back to health for a week, then gave it to a classmate because she knew Chino would beat it up when he came back from one of his weeks-long disappearances. Juliana shed no tears that time, at least none that Lupé saw.

Lupé’s answer comes easily. “Okay, mija.”

Juliana gives her a wide grin before rushing off to the kitchen to give it something to eat and drink. Later, she gives it a bath, the kitten’s hair turning out to be orange underneath all the filth.

.

When Valentina comes by later in the afternoon, she takes one look at the kitten, fed and cleaned and dozing on Juliana’s lap, and immediately falls in love with it.

The two of them spend the rest of the day playing with the kitten. Lupé leaves them to it, doing her best not to point out that they’re two supposedly grown-up ladies sitting on the floor and making meowing noises.

Juliana gives Valentina the honour of naming the kitten. Her first suggestion of ‘Juliano’ gets summarily rejected by Juliana. ‘Valentino’ is delicately vetoed by Lupé. Eventually, she comes up with ‘Orange’, and Juliana just lets her.

Lupé catches herself hoping that Valentina doesn’t name her future grandchildren.

.

Juliana and Valentina take Orange—Lupé’s not sure how she can ever take the kitten seriously—to the vet the following day. The doctor verifies that Orange is not chipped, after which he gets shots, tests, flea treatment, and even a quick grooming. After that, they go to the pet store where Valentina insists on buying him everything he needs.

Guille and Renata, who returned from their trip only a month ago, ask them about Orange when they meet up with the other couple a week later. Or rather, Renata and Juliana compare notes on their respective pets, while Guille and Valentina compare notes on what it’s like to have your girlfriend own a cat. The siblings’ experiences are vastly different: Orange adores Valentina about as much as Renata’s cat hates Guille.

.

-------------- ⁂ --------------

.

The second time it happens, Juliana has just finished fashion school.

She’s jogging in the park one morning, a few days after her graduation, when she sees a tiny cat dragging itself across the footpath, seemingly injured. She stops in her tracks and waits until the cat is on the other side before resuming her run. She takes a couple more laps around the small park, her eyes straying to the cat every time she passes it, until she can’t take it anymore and approaches the cat.

She picks it up carefully and, seeing that it has indeed been injured, she takes an Uber to the vet, where the doctor only gives her a wry smile before seeing to the cat.

When she gets home more than an hour later, Panchito, who is now living with her and her mom, greets her with a loud, “What, another one?”

The cat, which was sleeping fitfully in the carrier Juliana just bought for her, wakes up and gives Panchito a doleful stare.

Juliana grins sheepishly and places the carrier with the cat on the coffee table in front of Panchito. “The vet says she’s not chipped,” Juliana begins to explain, “but she might still belong to a family around here. I was thinking of putting up fliers, but…”

“You and Valentina are going on that post-graduation trip tomorrow,” Panchito supplies.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll take care of it.”

“Are you sure?” Juliana asks. She already intends to ask Lupé, but she knows her mom will sigh and grumble a little bit before agreeing to it.

“Of course, it’s no problem,” Panchito says airily. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks, Panchito.”

.

When Juliana and Valentina return from their trip two weeks later, they find that the cat—already two years old by the doctor’s estimation, and not at all a tiny bird—has somehow imprinted on Panchito, improbable as it may seem.

The cat doesn’t seem to have an owner, so Juliana’s mom and stepdad decided to keep her. Panchito named her Violeta, to Lupé’s dismay.

Violeta adores Panchito and has taken a liking to Lupé, but she’s distrustful of both Juliana and Valentina, clearly forgetting that it was Juliana who picked her up from the streets in the first place.

“I think she’s evil,” Valentina declares a couple of days after their trip. They’re at the apartment—which Juliana will be leaving soon to move in with Valentina—and Juliana is trying to feed Violeta, but the cat is turning her nose up at the offering. “I don’t know how else anyone or anything wouldn’t like you.”

Juliana looks up at Valentina, who’s stroking the head of a purring Orange. “She doesn’t like you either,” Juliana points out. “Yeah, she’s evil,” she agrees a moment later.

Lupé, who’s listening to their conversation, concludes—accurately—that they’re both just jealous.

Violeta has warmed up to them by the time Juliana and Valentina move in together at their new place, but they leave her with Panchito and Lupé because the other couple couldn’t bear to part with her. They do bring Orange with them, setting up his large and comfortable bed in the spare room, though he insists on sleeping in one of the boxes they’d brought during the move.

.

-------------- ⁂ --------------

.

The third time it happens, Juliana already has an established career as a fashion designer and she has been married to Valentina for almost a year.

She’s been working from home for the past few weeks, coming up with new designs from hers and Valentina’s shared home office while Valentina goes to an actual office. She gets stuck on a design one day, so she nips out to the nearby park for a bit of fresh air and to reset her ideas.

Juliana loves the park near their home. It’s large—much larger than the one near her mother’s place—full of well-maintained flowers, lined with tall trees, and has a small artificial lake which was considered home by a family of ducks. Juliana and Valentina even have a favourite spot in the park, on a bench under one of the large trees, with a full view of the lake but far enough away from it that they don’t get disrupted by people approaching it.

Juliana is nearing their favourite bench when she sees a black thing underneath it. When she gets close enough, she realises that it’s a kitten, so tiny, its mouth opening and closing as though it’s crying, but it’s unable to produce any sound.

At this point, Juliana is pretty knowledgeable about what needs to be done. She makes sure that the kitten doesn’t belong to anyone, then she brings her home to give her something to eat and drink, away from Orange, who is currently napping in the study. After that, she drives the kitten to the vet. The doctor, unfazed, verifies that the kitten isn’t chipped and gives her the full workup, assuring Juliana that the kitten should be able to produce ‘meowing’ sounds after a few days inside a warm shelter. Juliana drops by the pet store—buying more cat food, litter, bowls, a bed, and toys—before driving back home.

Juliana doesn’t get anything done in the way of work that day, but she manages to make the kitten trust her, getting her to purr even though the kitten can’t make any ‘meowing’ sounds just yet.

.

When Valentina comes home that evening, she finds Juliana watching television with the new kitten sitting beside her, the kitten’s head resting on Juliana’s lap.

“That… is a tiny black kitten,” Valentina pauses in the doorway as she states the obvious.

Juliana smiles sheepishly up at her. “Hi, love,” she greets as Valentina approaches, accepting the kiss Valentina drops on her lips. “I found her at our spot in the park, under the bench,” she says as Valentina sits next to her and starts stroking the kitten. “She wasn’t chipped.”

Valentina looks at her with eyes so loving that Juliana knows she doesn’t have to ask if they can keep the new kitten.

“I want to name her Midnight,” she tells Valentina.

Valentina smiles softly. “That’s a great name, mi amor,” she says. “I’m sure Lupé will be glad that it’s not ‘Black’ or any other colour name,” she adds with a smirk, prompting a laugh out of Juliana.

Juliana asks Valentina about her day, Valentina tells her that it was draining but rewarding—she’s been working on a project to help domestic abuse victims—and that she’s glad to come home to Juliana. Valentina asks about Juliana’s day with Midnight, only remembering how thirsty she was when Juliana told her about how the new kitten quickly lapped up all the water Juliana gave her.

Giving Juliana another quick kiss, Valentina stands up and heads to their open kitchen to get herself a drink, offering to get something for Juliana, who declines. As she pours water onto a glass, she catches sight of Orange, who seems to be sulking in the corner. She crouches down to give their old cat a sympathetic pat on the head before standing back up to grab her water.

“You know… you always manage to find the saddest looking creature in parks and bring it home,” she observes to Juliana. “You just seem to have the nose for it. It’s like a talent. You should add that to your CV,” she adds, grinning from ear to ear at her own joke before taking several self-satisfied gulps of water.

“I don’t know why you’re teasing me,” Juliana says, deadpan. “That ‘talent’ is how I found you.”

Valentina promptly chokes on her water.

.

.

.

[furry-monster-trash]

Tigerclaw Kittypet AU

What if once Tigerclaw was exiled from ThunderClan (Forest of Secrets), he got captured by twolegs? These twolegs used to own Firestar (Rusty). This would never happen but I like the idea.

Upon exile, Tigerclaw leaves ThunderClan territory as fast as his injuries will allow.

He finds himself near the twolegplace and heads towards ShadowClan territory but collapses due to his injuries before he gets anywhere near the border.

A male twoleg is getting ready to leave for work stops when he sees Tigerclaw’s body, bloody and battered right outside of his lawn on the other side of the fence.

The twoleg takes Tigerclaw inside his house and puts him in a cat cage so that he can take him to the vet.

Tigerclaw wakes up in the cage inside of the monster and begins to struggle.

When the twoleg and Tigerclaw arrive at the vet, the vet sedates the aggravated warrior so that it can better tend to his wounds.

Tigerclaw comes to once more and is covered in bandages and he has bright colors on his claws (claw caps so he can’t scratch anyone).

He slams into the bars of the cage (vet cage - larger and better to observe his health in) in an attempt to break them. It doesn’t work.

He reluctantly drinks the stale water in the cage but refuses to eat the food.

When the vet comes back to check on Tigerclaw, he hisses and lashes out at the twoleg, but is unable to hurt him due to the claw caps.

The vet takes Tigerclaw out of the cage, putting a muzzle on him so he can’t bite, and then vaccinates him against several illnesses. Tigerclaw freaks out at the needles.

Tigerclaw talks to the cat in the cage next to him once he is placed back in his cage. 

The kittypet next to him, a fat dark brown and white tom, says that he’s at the vet and that the vet is only there to help him, not hurt him. The kittypet is named Oscar.

Tigerclaw explains that he isn’t a kittypet, that he’s a warrior from the forest: “I’m not one of you soft, overfed lumps!”

Oscar knows some about the forest cats but doesn’t seem very interested in their lifestyle “Well now you’re one of us. You might as well eat, if you don’t, you’ll never get out of here.”

Tigerclaw refuses to eat for another day and is almost given an IV so that he would regain some weight. Once threatened with another needle, he eats some of the wet food given to him. “It’s better than crowfood, but a fresh mouse is heaven compared to this.”

The vet tells the twoleg that rescued Tigerclaw that Tigerclaw needs to be introduced slowly to other cats, in case of aggression.

Tigerclaw is let out of the cage in another twoleg room, where Oscar and two other kittypets are laying around.

Oscar greets Tigerclaw and introduces him to Snuggles (a tabby she-cat) and Phoenix (a chimera tom).

Tigerclaw secludes himself near the window, spending his time trying to break out.

Phoenix sits next to Tigerclaw and talks to him to distract him “Tell me about your...clan?”

Tigerclaw pauses his attempts to escape and explains in detail about clan life. Phoenix says that the clan life seems hard, but that it explains why Tigerclaw has so many scars.

The vets sees Tigerclaw getting along with Phoenix and allows for him to be released from the vet.

The twoleg that rescued him takes him home and renames him “Tiger”.

Snuggles lives next door to him and Phoenix lives on the other side. Oscar lives across the street.

Tigerclaw meets the other twoleg that lives within the home where he is being held captive in and runs away when she tries to pet him.

Tigerclaw is not allowed to leave the ‘den’ of the twolegs, so he spends most of his time hiding under the couch and only drinking water and eating only the wet food at night.

The twolegs eventually put a cat-bed on the floor for him and he recognizes the scent on the bed, although the scent is very faint: “Fireheart used to live here! These are his twolegs!”

Tigerclaw is trying to leave through the window one night and doesn’t see the female twoleg come up behind him. She picks him up and scratches him between the ears. Tigerclaw still can’t claw back due to the claw caps.

Tigerclaw runs under the couch again when she puts him down.

Tigerclaw is given a special shock collar (a perimeter shock collar) and is allowed to go outside by the male twoleg.

When he tries to jump over the fence to go back into the forest, he gets shocked and almost runs back into the twoleg den in fear: “I’m being softened by this kittypet life!”

Snuggles hops up on the fence to greet Tigerclaw, calling him Tiger, and welcoming him to the neighborhood. Tigerclaw can hear a dog in her yard. “Aren’t you afraid of the dog?”

Snuggles says that she grew up with the dog and the dog would never hurt a cat. Tigerclaw jumps on the fence and sees the massive dog in the other yard (a husky). He grimly admits to himself that Snuggles is very brave for being so close to the dog.

Tigerclaw goes back into the twoleg den and sees that the cat bed has been moved to the windowsill. “The twolegs must’ve seen me near the window.”

He lays down on the bed and sleep overcomes him immediately. The cat bed is a lot more comfortable than any nest he ever had in the forest.

Tigerclaw wakes up to find the male twoleg putting food in his bowl and filling up his water once more. The twoleg gives Tigerclaw a few good pets before leaving.

The cat flap is unlocked permanently now that Tigerclaw has his collar and he once again goes out into his yard. He successfully catches a bird and eats it. 

Phoenix sees him catch the bird and is impressed. Tigerclaw is happy that he hasn’t lost any of his warrior skills.

A few days later, Tigerclaw is sunbathing on his fence, gazing longingly into the forest when he spots a ThunderClan patrol in the woods. He can easily make out Cloudpaw’s bright white pelt. He hides from the patrol.

In a puddle in his yard from the sprinkles, Tigerclaw can see that he is more fed and filled out than he has ever been in the forest and that his fur is much sleeker than usual.

When a massive storm is raging outside one night, Tigerclaw admits that he’s happy to be inside a war twoleg den rather than being outside in the storm.

Tigerclaw runs into Oscar the day after the storm. Oscar asks him how he’s adjusting. “I would go back to the forest in a heartbeat if I could, but it’s not awful. I’m surviving.”

Oscar comments that it won’t be long before Tigerclaw goes to see the cutter (gets neutered).

Another week passes and Tigerclaw officially responds to the name Tiger, but still calls himself Tigerclaw. He is beginning to understand some twoleg language and learn the routine of the twolegs he lives with.

Tigerclaw is asleep on the male twoleg’s chair when the twoleg comes back home. The twoleg picks him up and puts Tigerclaw on his lap when he sits back down in his chair. Tigerclaw makes no move to leave the lap and lets the twoleg pet him.

The twolegs take off his claw caps.

When the first snowstorm of leaf-bare hits the forest, Tigerclaw is grateful for always having food to eat and heat to keep him warm.

He sees Snuggles playing with the husky in the neighboring yard and notices how both Snuggles and the husky are having fun in the snow. “I was never able to play in the snow, I was always too worried about feeding myself and my clan.”

Tigerclaw jumps into the yard and almost runs when the husky approaches him. Instead of attacking, the husky barks happily and runs in circles around him. Snuggles explains that he is playing.

Tigerclaw resentfully admits that the life of a kittypet isn’t that bad, that the warmth and food makes it almost worth it. Phoenix says that he doesn’t have to give up every aspect of his past warrior life: “You can hunt birds in your yard and a house a little ways down has a mouse problem.”

Tigerclaw has now been living with the twolegs for almost two moons and has adjusted completely. 

His twolegs remove his perimeter collar, but Tigerclaw doesn’t run back into the forest.

Tigerclaw sees Darkstripe a few days later when Tigerclaw finally ventures back over his fence. Darkstripe is surprised to see him alive and asks him where he is living. When Tigerclaw admits to living with twolegs, Darkstripe attacks him, saying that he is weak and not a true warrior.

Tigerclaw easily defeats Darkstripe and almost kills him (although he suffers a wound to his shoulder). He tells Darkstripe that the kittypet life may be easy, but that he will never have to worry about food or being sick again. “My name is Tiger.”

Tiger chooses to stay with his twolegs, enjoying their company and letting them pet him and play with him. He is taken to the cutter and becomes a lot lazier than he ever was in the forest. 

When the forest is being destroyed (The New Prophecy novels), Tiger sees ThunderClan cats being captured by twolegs and risks his own tail to save them. He saves all but Graystripe, who is taken away in a monster - now known to Tiger as a ‘car’ - before Tiger can save him.

Tiger leaves the scene before any cat can recognize him and is thankful that his scent has almost completely changed.

Tiger lives to be fourteen years old and dies of old age in the female twoleg’s arms. He sees StarClan but is not welcomed by them because he chose the life of a kittypet. “I do not regret my decision. My twolegs treated me well and were kind. I can see why my father chose to live with twolegs himself. I am grateful for ThunderClan and grateful for the many seasons I spent with my clan, but I am thankful that I found my own happiness after I was cast out.”

Tiger reunites with Pine (Pinestar - his father) in the kittypet version of StarClan.

[writinginthedarkwood]

Faerie King Izuku Midoryia x Reader

Your therapist sent you on a soul journey to the wilderness, the stress of your everyday life pushed you towards the edge, until you find yourself, literally on the edge. Is that a voice you hear…?

Thank you for this request, I hope this is anything like what you had in mind.

No warnings this is wholesome af (does have mentions of mental health tho)

“You need to find yourself, your work load. It’s way too much.” Becca was a different kind of mental health professional. She had half her head shaved, the other half was long and dyed purple. She never covered her tattoo’s, and always spoke her mind. You’ve been seeing her for a few months, and you like your visits with her a lot. “I have a few idea’s, I really want you to consider them.” She pulled a pile of brochures out of her desk and waved them at you, the little breeze brushing some of your hair out of your face. You cocked your eyebrow at her confused. “You want me to go on vacation?” You took the packets and gave them a once over. Scotland, France, Canada. “These are all brochures for camping trips…” The thought of spending time outdoors made you stressed, why would you take time off of school and work for a camping trip? “That sounds like a waste of time.” You thought about your full calendar, your pile of papers stacking up on your desk. The hundreds of emails you still need to file through. Your palms started sweating, your left eye twitching again. “See that’s your issue Y/N! You think anything fun is a waste of time.” She spoke excitedly, waving her hands. “You need to experience life! Not just move through this grey… blah!” Her hand knocked some things off her desk, pens and pencils spilled onto the floor. “Go outside and breathe the fresh air. You might find your destiny out in the woods!”

“Or my death?” You picked at your nail and it started to bleed. Becca playfully slapped your knuckles, you dropped your hand to your lap and stopped picking at the sore finger. “Oh stop these are heavily trafficked area’s. Nothing will happen to you.” She smiled gently. “You need to face your fears, no more hiding Y/N.”

The sun was setting, you looked down at your compass and swallowed hard. You payed close attention to the orientation class, the survival course. Everything you packed was carefully calculated. How did you end up so turned around? You followed the trail exactly, but didn’t you already pass that tree an hour ago? “Shit…” You folded the map back up and put it in your pocket. It was no help, it would only help if you had any idea where you were. You stepped off of the trail to get a better look around. The trails are heavily wooded, but a few steps over here looks like a clearing.

It was more than a clearing. The grass faded and the dirt hardened, a rocky cliff side protruded out of the tree line. You gasped, what a beautiful sunset. You stepped a bit closer to the edge, testing the sturdiness with a few taps of your foot. The rock stuck out about 30 feet, you just wanted to take a peak at what was below without doing anything too dangerous. “Live a little!” Becca’s words rang clear in your head as you took a deep breath. The wind blew gently, you didn’t feel any vertigo as you saw the vast beauty. It looked like a bowl, tree’s sloped downwards, so thick you couldn’t see what they were hiding.

“Further… further all the way….” You could have sworn you heard something just now. What was that? Did someone just sing to you? You looked around, maybe they could help you find your way back to camp. You always heard the people of Canada are nice.

You didn’t see anyone around. You could have sworn someone was here. A familiar uneasy itch creeped up your spine.

You took a few steps away from the cliffs edge and knelt down to tie your boot string.

“Fall fall… it’s okay…” You heard another voice. You looked behind you to the tree line. Oh is that a hiker? You waved and shouted hello at a moving shadow. You started to jog back over to the forest trail, but something stopped you. Eyes were staring back at you, large yellow eyes. The wind picked up, your hair blowing from behind you and sticking to your face. You narrowed your eyes and took a step back.

A low, deep growl rattled the tree’s like ancient, cold bones. Your heart pounded in your chest, it’s some type of animal. It’s huge, just watching.

“Fall! Fall! Fall!…” Something was shouting at you from behind, but it seemed so far away.

The animal took a large silent step out of the woods. It was unreal, unlike anything you had seen. It’s fur was sleek and deep purple. It looked like it could be a mountain lion, but so much larger. The wrong color, the wrong size, the wrong sound.

It was just wrong.

You stumbled back, falling on your backside. Your wrists dug into the stone and scraped the thin skin off of your palms. The creature slunk around, eyeing the edge of the cliff behind you, pacing back and forth trying to decide if it wanted to pounce. It walked low to the ground, staring at you with only moments of quick glances above your head. You scrambled away from it, crawling backwards closer to the edge.

“Further further… down the way! Come to where the faeries play.” A voice whispered to you right into your ear, clear as day. You looked over your shoulder, you hadn’t realized you were only a few inches away from the lip of the cliff. You shakily stood up. 

The cat like creature charged, deciding it was no longer afraid of the drop. The voices were chanting at you to jump, practically shouting but with a high pitched sing song voice.

You turned your back on the animal and closed your eyes.

And took a leap of faith.

Your feet hit the dirt right away, you tumbled to your knees on the surprise impact. You looked around confused, the cliff wasn’t tall at all. It was barely taller than you. Just higher than your head, you stood on your tip toes to see where you just fell from, but you couldn’t see. You stood up and brushed the dirt off of your cut hands and dusty knees. The tree’s are you are tall, taller than any building in new york. They towered over you, blanketing the sky. Lightning bugs twinkled around you, floating lazily at your eye level. Ivy hung from the branches of the enormous tree’s, moss grew over every surface that wasn’t grass.

The sun wasn’t shining, but you were warm like it was a gentle spring day.

You heard a guitar. Someone was strumming away not to far from here. You took a few steps forward, something pulling you towards the beautiful melody. A pathway in the foliage opened up, thick brush parted ways, revealing a small path for you to follow. You stepped on the smooth stone, it was a straight pathway. The music is dreamy, your eyelids felt heavy. You shook your head, fighting off the sleepiness that suddenly washed over you.

You pushed this silly urge to dance to the plucking strings deep down and kept your eyes ahead of you.

Ivy hung in strands down at the end of the path, the music much louder now. You pushed the greenery to the side and stepped into a clearing.

People were dancing, waltzing together with wide smiles over their faces. Some held each other closely, some danced alone. Some sat happily at tables with each other taking huge swigs of drinks out of a wooden mugs. Your foot barely made contact with the grass before a charming young man grabbed your hand, pulling you close to him. He had bright yellow hair with a black streak through his bangs. “Welcome beautiful, would you like a drink?” He twirled you around and you wrangled your hand out of his grip. “Hey!” You put your hands on your hips and scowled at him. “What is going on here?” The young man smirked and straightened his black suit jacket. “Isn’t it obvious? We’re celebrating!” He gestured to the happy people around him. “Let me give you a drink.” You hadn’t noticed he was holding anything in his hand before, but he had a small wooden cup filled with a deep brown liquid. You stepped away from him. “I don’t want anything to drink. I’m trying to find my way back to camp.” Something was off about the atmosphere around you, the closer you looked at the people attending this party the more you realized that they weren’t just dressed funny, they looked.

Off.

It wasn’t paint on that girls skin, she really was pink. Something was sticking out of that mans legs, and the man offering you a drink had bright yellow eyes.

You felt a strong sense of dread rush over you. “Please, I’m just trying to leave.” You tried to seem polite, masking how terrified you suddenly felt.

“Leave? But the party is just getting started!”

Your interaction started to catch the attention of the other party goers. A beautiful woman caught your gaze. She had stark black hair the pointed in every direction out of her ponytail. She tipped her chin with an upturned smile, her eyes boring into every pore on your body. You wanted to squirm.

Someone touched the small of your back. You felt a surge of warmth come over you. “Now, now everyone.” A sweet voice rang through your head like bells. “We should be polite to our new friend. She seems to have been through a lot.” You looked up at the man. He had eyes and hair as green as the forest, little freckles spread across his face like small splatters of mud. He gave you a gentle smile. “Your right, your highness.” The yellow haired man gave a slight bow and excused himself. The King lowered his voice and pressed gently on your back, having you walk with him. “Not many ladies can resist an invitation to dance with Sir Kaminari.” He walked you away from the crowd. “Or the alluring gaze of Lady Yaoyorozu.” You followed him through an arch covered in white flowers. Suddenly you were in a building, a stone hallway. Your footsteps echoed as he lead you away from the music. “Uhm… sir?” You stopped walking and the man turned to you with another gentle smile. “Yes?” He asked.

“Where are you taking me?”

He cocked his head at you, his smiled wiped off of his face as he peered into your eyes curiously. “Oh what’s that now? Right, right I suppose you might be slightly confused.” He placed a finger on his on his chin and thought briefly for a moment before speaking again. “You’re a smart girl, where do you think you are?”

“I feel like I’m in a dream.”

He stuck his hand out to you and you took it. He laced his fingers into yours and rubbed your thumb with his. “You’re not dreaming, but I can see why would feel that way.” The walls changed as you two walked by them, flowers grew out of the stone cracks and wilted again the farther the man got away from them. The floral scent was almost intoxicating. “Seeing impossible things can make you forget how it feels to be awake. But tell me, can’t you feel your heart beating? Your lungs moving, your thoughts racing?” He spoke with such kindness, with a hint of energy. You touched your chest. Your heart was beating fast, but not the way it usually does. It was beating with excitement, not anxiety. “Then where am I?” You’d almost forgotten about trying to find your way back to camp, to your little tent and the small amount of possessions you brought with you. That thought was still there, but far away in the back of your head. “You’re in my court. I rule here with my closest friends, I’ve been hoping for awhile that you’d find your way here.” He lead you to a beautiful room, a warm fire burned in  a hearth, a small wooden love seat with hand sewn cushions sat in front of the fire, the only piece of furniture in the room. The rest of the space was filled with stacks of books, hundreds of them. The walls were lined with giant wooden shelves. The books were disorganized, some were left open on the floor with ink marking scribbled on the margin. “You know who I am?” He sat on the floor in front of the fire, his crown shifted on his head a bit, making it lopsided. He certainly didn’t dress like a king, wearing simple cotton clothes. “Of course I do Y/N. Don’t you remember me too?”

You thought for a moment, didn’t you know him? You tried to remember where you might have seen him before. You looked around the room for a hint.

“Would it help you remember if I told you it was a long time ago?”

A flash of a memory, one you hadn’t thought about in a long time.

You used to love to play outside, it would take so much work to get you to come back inside. The park was close to your house, your friends would all play hide and seek in the tree’s. You knew better than to get into the water, the creek was deeper than it looked and moved fast in some places. You hid in the roots of a tree, curled up in a ball and giggling.

Your laughter was interrupted. You heard a woman, she was crying nearby. You popped your head out of your hiding spot. You saw her, she was standing in the middle of the water with her back turned to you. She seemed like she might have needed help, so you crawled out of the tree roots and stuck a foot into the water.

“H-hey!” A voice squeaked out from behind you.

A little boy, with wild green hair was hiding behind another tree. You didn’t remember him being invited to play hide and seek, he must be someone else’s friend. You were to young to pay attention to the fact that his clothes were strange.

“Don’t listen to her! She isn’t very nice.” He blushed wildly from his hiding spot. You turned away from the woman and walked through the mud to his tree. “She’s not?” You asked him. You turned to see the lady in the water, but she was gone. “She tricks people. It isn’t nice. What are you doing out here all by yourself? Don’t you know it’s not safe?”

You giggled, he seemed so worried. “What’s your name silly boy?”

He blushed terribly, covering his face with his hands. “You want to know my name?” He kicked his foot around in the dirt a bit. “I’m Prince Midoryia. But you can called me Izuku if you want.”

“I’m Y/N Y/L/N! Can we be friends?”

The two of you sat for hours by the water, it started to turn dark before you realized you needed to go home. He wanted to hear all about your school, he asked a lot of questions. Before you left Izuku stopped you. “Can we promise to be friends forever Y/N?” You shook your head yes, and gave your new friend a tight hug, sealing the promise.

You looked for the boy a lot after that day but you never found him, after that day you liked the forest less and less. Feeling uneasy like things were watching you, your skin would crawl the minute you stepped onto even the simplest of hiking trails.

“That was you all those years ago?” You sat down with him in front of the fire.

“I’m so sorry it took me this long to find you again. I’m just glad I got you before the Marozie did.” He took your hands, you both sat with your legs crossed, your knee’s almost touching each other. “You’re closer to the veil than other humans, you can see us.”

You stared deep into his eyes, you’ve felt hollow for so long. Constantly in a hurry, always feeling like you were running out of time.

You felt like you could sit here for the rest of time and be happy.

“I feel like I’ve been looking for something my whole life.” He squeezed your hand as you spoke. “I think I found it.”

Izuku had tears gather in his eyes, but he was smiling. “So you’ll stay with me?”

You thought about your job, your school. The millions of things you had to make up once you got home. “Stay here?”

“Please Y/N… you can be my queen. We’ll rule the spring together, side by side.” He leaned closer, his voice lowering. Your breath caught in your throat, you moved closer to him, your lips lightly parting. He planted the softest kiss on your lips, he tasted like honey. You find yourself kissing him back. He cupped your face and pressed down harder, his tongue gently breaching your mouth.

He slipped something on your finger and you pulled away. A beautiful polished wooden ring was reflecting the fire glow on your ring finger. “Isn’t this how humans get engaged?” He asked with a light blush pooling under his freckles.

You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck, he pulled you into his lap and you took a deep breath. His arms wrapped around you tightly and he kissed your forehead.

“Yes Izuku, it is.”

This came out so wholesome ;-; I didn’t have a clear direction when I started writing I just sat down and typed this out. Thank you so much for this request, I have a serious love for fae lore and this was fun to do.

If you make a request and would like to buy me a coffee so that the addicting bean juice pumps out my creativity faster you can do so here—> https://ko-fi.com/writinginthedarkwood

My messages are always open! Have a chat with me

[excellent-monster-girl-ideas]

Khera and the Liminal Diner

Khera couldn't help but slump as she took her seat in the diner. Once again, rejected, she thought with a sigh. "Orcs don't cry," her family always told her, but after years of failing to find love, she couldn't help but let out a few tears.

As she waited for the waitress to come, she thought about her latest crush and wiped her tears with her handkerchief. "I'm not into tall girls," he had said. Those five simple words had verbally stabbed the 7-foot orc woman through the heart.

At least it was better than other times she was rejected. One elf boy she tried asking out said he wasn't into tusks. Another boy, a merman this time, told her he couldn't stand the color green. Even a human - a human, of all people! - rejected her by saying he didn't want a girl stronger than he.

As she was thinking about these things, the waitress arrived. She was an elderly cat-woman, definitely a tabby judging by the hair, with a name-tag reading "Muse." "Evenin', Khera," she greeted.

"Hey," Khera replied, her face down.

"Aw, why so glum?" Muse asked, placing a hand on her hip and another on the table.

"Ah, nothin', just... guy trouble."

"Aw, I didn't know you had a guy," Muse said, giving a gentle smile.

"That's the problem, I don't."

"Oh, I see, I see. Well, then, ah... what can I get you this evening?"

"Triple burger," Khera said. "With a large Pixie Cola."

"Sure," the old woman replied. "Anything else?"

Khera shook her head.

"I'll bring it right away," Muse replied, leaving the table.

Khera sighed, continuing to think about past rejections. What am I doing wrong? she thought before wiping yet another tear from her eye.

Some time passed before another patron entered the diner, her arrival announced by a bell over the doorway. Khera turned to the door out of curiosity. It was a certain dragon girl wearing a black leather jacket over her red-scaled arms.

"Yo, Khera! Thought I'd find you here," she said.

"Hi, Eza," Khera said, not facing Eza as she sat in the booth across from her, uninvited.

"Got your text. That sucks, man," Eza said, taking her leather jacket off and setting it in her lap. The red scales on her arms and shoulders faintly glimmering in the dim light. "Sounds like a real jackass, too."

Khera nodded, wiping away more tears from her eyes. "I'm... thinkin' 'bout givin' up on findin' a guy."

"What?!" Eza exclaimed. "Nah, c'mon, man! One dumb guy doesn't mean you gotta give up on all of 'em. I've known you for how long? Like, six years? You've always wanted a boyfriend!"

"Yeah, but like-"

"'But' nothin'! It's like my mom always said: If you want love, chase it and never look back!"

"Your mom's in jail."

"Hey, the guy told her he was eighteen!"

"He was an elf, Eza."

"That doesn't- that's not the point!" Eza half-shouted. "Look, the point is, you want a boyfriend, right?"

Silence hung over the two for a brief moment. Khera glanced up at her friend with a smile. "Yeah, I do."

"Then don't give up! The right guy will come to you!"

"But, like... how?" Khera asked.

"Hmm..." Eza stroked her thin with her clawed hand. "How 'bout loitering at a mall or somethin', holdin' a sign that says 'Seeking 18-21 year old girlfriend-free boy' or somethin'-"

"Oh my gosh, Eza," Khera laughed.

Eza laughed with her. "Thank krazk, I got you to laugh."

"Did you just swear in Goblin?" Muse asked with a chuckle, returning to the table with Khera's burger and soda. "So nice to see you, Eza."

Eza laughed heartily. "Been hangin' around Tekkati too long. You know how she slips into her native tongue when she gets pissed."

"Oh, I hear her all the time," Muse laughed in return. "Now, what can I get you, Eza dear?"

"Just a beer is fine," the dragon girl replied, leaning back with her arms outstretched. "Whatever's available."

"That's fine," said Muse, "but you better not drive home on that motorcycle of yours if you do."

"Aw, c'mon, it's just one beer," Eza complained. "Besides, dragons have, like, ten times the alcohol resistance of a human!"

"Isn't it ten times worse?" Khera muttered as she smirked.

"Hush," Eza said, quickly turning her head to Khera and back to Muse. "C'mon, just one beer?"

"Alright, alright," Muse chortled. "I swear, I feel like your mother sometimes, Eza."

"Yeah, you nag just like her!" Eza called as she walked away.

Khera laughed at their exchange, taking a big bite of her meal and a sip of her soda. As she did, another bell rang as a new guest entered the diner: a four-foot tall, curvy goblin girl wearing a pair of black-rimmed glasses.

"Hey, guys!" she said as she approached Khera and Eza's table.

"Yo, Tekk!" Eza greeted as the green-skinned girl leaped into her booth. "How's everyone's favorite shortstack doin'?"

"Oh, I'm doing awesome right now," she said with enthusiasm. "I just bought the place!"

"The restaurant?" Khera asked.

"Krazk yeah!" Tekkati shouted, raising her fists. "The dream's coming true! I'm finally gonna fulfill my lifelong dream of owning a pho shop!"

"...Dude, you first ate pho, like, three years ago," Eza said.

"My life didn't begin until then! Ever since I first came to the human world and ate pho, I've been addicted to the stuff! It's the soup of kings- nay, the soup of gods!"

"Oh, Tekkati! Good to see you, dear," Muse said warmly as she returned to their booth with Eza's beer. "Here you are, Eza dear."

"Hell yeah! Thanks!" Eza said, snatching the bottle and quickly opening it with a draconic thumb.

Muse laughed. "That's hardly the way to speak to an old lady like me," she admonished.

"I've heard you say worse," Tekkati said.

"Oh, that was one time," Muse replied. "So, did you buy the restaurant?"

"Yep! It's gonna be great! I wanna do a lot of the same stuff you do here, like having lots of room for larger liminals like lamias and centaurs, adjustable seats for differently-sized races... y'know, that kind of stuff."

Khera looked around the diner. She had never noticed how spacious it was before. "Oh wow, I never even payed attention to that."

Muse smiled and nodded. "We try to accommodate as many races as possible. We're even going to start using moisturizing seats for mermaids and other semi-aquatic liminals once the shipment comes in."

"Oh man, I gotta do that!" Tekkati said.

"So, do you have a name for it?" Khera asked, hand under her chin.

"Oh, I never told you? I've had it planned for years!" The goblin girl exclaimed. "See, the place is gonna have this biiiig line outside it, since there's gonna be, like, brazillions of people coming, right?"

"That's not a number, but continue," Khera said.

"So, because of that inevitable massive line, I shall dub the restaurant - get ready - the PHO QUEUE!"

The few other diner patrons turned their heads to Khera, eyes wide.

"Hm, well, that... that's, um..." Eza said, scratching the back of her head.

"That's very... unique," Khera said.

"Ah, well, it's..." Muse stuttered. "Um... so Khera! How've you been?"

"Ah, I've been fine," she said. "Still been looking for a boyfriend. Last guy shot me down hard."

"How hard?" Tekkati asked.

"Like... 'doesn't like tall girls' hard," Khera said, leaning back and looking at the ceiling. "And now I'm depressed again."

"Oof," Tekkati said with a wince.

"Like I said: he's a jackass," Eza chimed in.

"Oh, dear," Muse said, pulling up a chair to their booth and taking a seat. "May I ask you something?"

Khera tilted her head. "Um, sure?"

"Why do you want a boyfriend?"

Khera paused for a moment. This wasn't something she really thought about.

"I mean, does she need a reason?" Eza asked. "People wanna be loved, right?"

Tekkati nodded. "Plus, she never had a boyfriend before."

"Don't need to be reminded!" the orc girl said.

"Ack, sorry!" Tekkati squeaked.

Muse nodded. "Yes, it's normal to want love, Khera dear," the old cat-woman said. "There's certainly nothing wrong with it. But if there's one thing to remember, it's that love is not something to be chased."

"Huh? It's... what?" Khera said.

"Love is like happiness. If you chase after it, you'll never have it. It needs to come to you."

"Aw, that's boring!" Eza bemoaned. "C'mon, Muse!"

Muse chuckled. "Perhaps it's a little boring to young girls like you-"

"I'm twenty-nine," Tekkati muttered as Muse continued.

"-But when you're my age, you'll have the benefit of hindsight. I made many mistakes growing up, trying to chase happiness, and coming up empty each time. I used to live on a farm, you know, but one day, when I was twelve, I ran away from home to live in a big city."

"Woah, really?" Khera gasped, her eyes wide.

"Oh, it was quite the adventure. I wanted to be a singer, and I actually became very popular for a while. I made many friends, and quite a lot of money too. I was happy, but pretty soon, I remembered my family. They were definitely worried sick about me, no doubt about it. I tried pushing aside my feelings, but one day... it ended."

"Hm? What did?" Tekkati asked.

"My fame," Muse replied. "It ran out. My 'fifteen minutes,' as humans like to say. I lost all my friends, my home, and eventually all my money, too. So I crawled back home, without a penny to my name..."

"Oh, that's sad," Khera said.

Muse smiled. "Not quite. As I walked home, I started noticing things. Smaller things, like trees, clouds, and rocks. I started seeing them as beautiful things. When I walked all the way to that city, I took the exact same road, but noticed none of them. I didn't take notice of such a beautiful world because I was so focused on finding happiness."

Khera tilted her head again. She nodded before taking a slow sip of her drink.

"And yet," Muse continued, "I found happiness there, real happiness. I began to appreciate the world around me, and there I discovered joy for the first time. Joy isn't found in big things," she said, turning to Eza and Tekkati, "like the thrill of a motorcycle ride, or owning a famous restaurant. It's found in smaller things. Things like a conversation with a friend, or a good bowl of soup."

"So... what should I do?" Khera asked. "Should I just... give up on finding love?"

"You're already loved," Muse said, turning to face the orc girl with a warm smile. "When I finally arrived home from that trip, I was sure my family would hate me for abandoning them. But they didn't. They loved me even more now that I was home. I wanted to be loved by so many people when the only people I needed love from were right there the whole time."

Muse took Khera's hand and gestured towards Eza and Tekkati. "You're already loved," the old cat-woman said. "Loved by so, so many people."

The dragon and goblin girls smiled at their orc friend. She smiled back, tears in her eyes. "Thanks, Muse."

"Anytime, Khera. But just remember," Muse said as she stood up, "I'm not discouraging you from finding a boyfriend. Rather, I want to encourage you to enjoy the smaller things in life. They're sweeter things, anyway. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to continue my job," she said with a grin. "Tekkati, would you like anything, dear?"

"Just a Pixie Cola," the goblin girl replied.

"And, um..." Khera said, "Can I get a refill?"

"Of course," Muse said, leaving to get their request.

Khera looked at her friends. "I... I'm really glad to be your friend," she said, grinning, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Same," Tekkati said, smiling.

"Yeah, definitely," Eza replied. "But don't cry, alright? You're gonna make me cry, dammit!"

The girls laughed, and began to talk about other things as Muse returned with their drinks. As she drank her soda, Khera began to savor it - all of it: the jovial conversation with her closest friends, the sweet taste of the fizzling soda, the soft seats of the diner's booths, even the blue and yellow of the table where they sat. All of it became sweet to her, when she hardly paid mind to it before.

The orc girl couldn't help but smile. She found her joy, with friends she loved, in a diner she adored.

[theabominableblogger]

Rewatching “Gotham” S5E4

Not in chronological order, yaaaayyyy...

Also the other reaction posts for Episodes 8-10 are still a work in progress so hang on!

My sister watched it with me (as well as another episode in S5 and we both plan on watching the series finale together) so my comments will be in bold, and hers will be in regular font.  Author’s notes courtesy of me will be bolded and italicized.

AN:   I managed to record our reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post.

This is going to be fun.

“Shut up and die [Oswald].”  *starts singing “Waking Up in Vegas” by Katy Perry*

You are really going to hell.

I am.  It’s a curse.

*Recap shows Haven blowing up*  Welp.

Ahhhh that freaking shot [of the burning teddy bear]

Hell of a shot to open with

MMMMM....

Also that one [of the people getting out].  That one’s good.

This whole opening just leaves you so numb.

Right?  Holy shit.

And I do like that the other villains are so shocked and horrified at this.

Right, yeah.

Yeah, like you have Penguin and Ed and the other people are like “Oh my God...”

Yeah...

Oh you better not-

*Barbara points her gun at an unsuspecting Oswald*  Oh come on, his back is turned!

Not right nooowww!

That’s bullshit!

*both look uncomfortable when we hear a baby crying in the background*

Everyone’s just kinda grabbing each other!

*grabs my sister and shakes her by the shoulders*  It’s like “Jim!”  “Harvey!”  “Oswald!”

*one more time*  “Bruce!”  No, I’m kidding.

*laughs*  Christ!

Yeah, whenever they use orange lighting in this show, it’s like “Ah yes, give me more!”

Except you know it means shit’s about to go down.

I know.

Or some shit has already gone down.

*Jim looks at the ruins of Haven*  Shiiit...

*Harvey hands back the badge Jim gave to Will*  Nooooooo....

*sighs*

Nooooo... come on.  God dang it.

*Opening titles roll*  So yeah, how’s that for an opening?

Noooo...

“As of now, death toll stands at 311.”  Jesus!

“49 injured, more than 2 dozen left unaccounted for.”  *very softly*  Oh my God.

I swear to God she’s [Secretary Walker] an al Ghul somewhere.

AN:  This was actually recorded a few weeks ago.  Little did I know...

“But whoever destroyed that building can't destroy the hope we've built.”  That’s not gonna do shit!

Yeah, that one lady in the crowd’s like “Oh my God...”  SAAAME!

That’s not gonna do shit, Jim!

“How are you [Jim] gonna stop it from happening again?!?”  Good question!  Honestly right now, Jim, you’re not lookin’ so hot.

I know!

Luciusss!!

“Nothing makes sense anymore.”  Someone say “It’s Gotham.”  Please God!

“SELINA!”  They just leave his [Bruce’s] ass there...

God... poor Bruce.

That’s gonna be nightmare inducing.

Yeahhh-

*Some of Ecco’s goons come in*  OH NOOO COME ON!

Ohhh the Ecco goons!

Can I preemptively say “[expletive] that noise?”

*chuckles*

Also, I love this bit right here:

*laughs when Bruce tries throwing a wrench at a goon and missing him by a long shot*  Worth the shot, buddy!

Ugghh, so close!

*Alfred comes to the rescue*  AL-FRED!

YES!!

LET’S GO!

YESSS!

“I was afraid you didn’t get my signal.  Lucius said the range was only a couple of miles.”  Where’d he get that?!?

*at same time*  What is that?!?

We already get that he’s Batman:  he’s pulling solutions out of his ass.

It’s Lucius.

I guess.

“How did that happen?”  “I [Bruce] let my guard down.”  *aside* You do that a lot, buddy!  You’ll do it more in the future!

“She’s [Selina] gone after Jeremiah, alone.”  *silently hurrahs*

OK, why is she [Barbara] wearing like a dominatrix outfit?

I mean, her last outfit was covered in filth so... also she has Penguin’s hair.

Yeah but- the leather corset?  Really?  C’mon...

“We heard people talking about a shady guy working around Haven before it blew.”  “This is Gotham.  You’re [Barbara] gonna have to do better than ‘shady guy.’“  *both giggle*

“How about a location? A building in the northeast corner of Harlow Park. He says the guy's holed up there.”  Also, they really need to release an official map for this because I have no idea where everything is.

They really need to.

Like I know that they use the actual No Man’s Land map

Right... but this continuity strays so much from regular DC continuity that not all of that might apply.

Yeah.  It’s like “Oh the Soothsayers are in the Granton district in the Dark Zone” and I’m like “Well where is that?!?”

Yeah.

Amusement Mile?!?  I know Ace Chemicals is in the Dark Zone.

Of course it is!

It’s near Crime Alley.

‘Course it damn well is!

But Crime Alley’s in Firefly’s zone.  I think, yeah.

Que interesante...

Ohhh that lightinggg!

*Penguin and Co. wait for Jim in the precinct*  Ohh c’mon... c’mon dude.

Digging the eyepatch on that guy [henchman] though

*mouths along with Oswald saying “woefully apparent”* 

“…you [Jim] are outmanned, outgunned, and out of options.”  *sings*  OUTNUMBERED, OUTPLANNED!

Hey yo, I’m gonna need a right hand man!

*groans*  I’m already dreading this.

“Take all you can carry.”  Arm yourselves to the teeth.  You’re gonna need it.

Also, they did not kill the dog.

Oh thank God.

Just to let you know!

“WE���RE NOT GONNA KILL THE DOG!”

TZE CHUN, THANK YOU!

“What do you [Jim] say, partner?”  Don’t ever say that again.

Yee-haw.

You’ve yee-d your last haw.

*laughs*

*Ed wakes up*  Nooo, who gives a shit about Ed?  Who gives a shit?  I don’t give a shit!

*aside*  It’s gonna become a lot more important.

I like this music here [when Ed investigates the suitcase] actually

*both end up scatting it*

Just sounds like they’re banging a bunch of coconuts together.

*both sing*  BIG ONES, SMALL ONES, SOME AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD!

*imitates Ed saying “I’ve been on a trip!” hand gesture included*

*both tilt our heads in unison to read the message on Ed’s hand*

“KNOWS WHAT?!?”  Me.

Oh my God...

That’s the campaign poster [of Oswald] in S3!

Also I like how the cop cars have the grills and bars on the front and on the windshield.

Yeah... smart move!

“To hell with Penguin.  Haven wasn't your fault.”  “I [Jim] told the people it was safe. I made them into a target.”  You know Penguin’s right there!  He can hear you.

*One of the cop cars drive past Jim*  Don’t park in the puddle!  Noooo that’s what they diddd-

No they didn’t.  Nevermind.

*giggles when Oswald pulls out a megaphone*

“There goes the element of surprise.”  *both laugh*

Oh my God, he freaking winked at Jim!  Oswald, you-

Oh noooo...

*Another shot at the group*  Yep.

“We’re sitting ducks out here.”  “And one Penguin.  Hey Oswald, why don’t you crawl out there, grab that bullhorn, tell him to come out here quietly?”  *both laugh*

*both imitate Oswald’s insulted “Yooouu…”*

“Pretty cozy up here.  Thanks guys.”  C’mon buddy!  C’mon!

*claps hands*  Give us him!

Give us the goods!

Give us!

“Zsasz?!?”  Yassss....

“Oh hey guys, what’s up?”  *both laugh*

Oh my God, I’ve missed him!

*Victor blows Oswald a kiss*  YAASSSS!!

ZSAAAAAAAAAASZZZ...

ZSAAAAAAASZZZZ....

ZSAAAASSSZZZZ HONEY!

ZSAAAASSZZZZ!

*giggles*  Yaaasss....

Oh my God what.  Is that Selina?!?

No, that’s Ed.

Freakin- what is it with him and the bad disguises?!?

But like he got through the entire precinct like that!

Everyone wasn’t paying attention!  If they were paying attention, they would’ve just ripped it [the blanket] off of him!

I know!

“I can still see your face.”  “Not when I do this, you can’t.”

*laughs*

It’s literally that!

It is.

*Ed runs into Lucius*  Ohhh yess!  I really like these two interacting.

Lucius!

“I am given and I am taken.  I was there from your first breath and I will follow you until your death.”  Oh screw off!

Your name.

“Call it a personal matter.”  I love that!

His little poses!

Yes yes!

“Well I'm [Ed] guessing you [Lucius] don't want money, because, uh, it's worthless.  I don't tend to carry snacks on me.  And if I had any bullets, I would just shoot you and take the folder.”  I really want somebody to be like “I’ll give you a load of bullets for a box of Cheez-Its.”  “DONE!”

*laughs*  Would you like the other half of this cosmic brownie?

My God, THIS MAN GOES FREE!

You know who Chris Chalk kinda reminds me of?  The ally guy from “Conquest of the Planet of the Apes?”

Yeah, it does...

Hari Rhodes!  That’s the actor!

*giggles insanely when Ed tries to take the file from Lucius and utterly fails*

What the frick?

“I [Victor] did not make that building go boom, Jim.”  *both laugh*

What a way to say that.

“You gave up any shred of honor long ago!  Why should we believe a snake like you?!?”  “Because I would never take credit for somebody’s else’s work?”  *raises pen in air in agreement*

Well duh!”

“Is this about Sofia Falcone?  You should really move past that.  It’s not healthy.”  *both giggle*

This man...

This man!  He was probably raised in the South.  He would probably go “Hey y’all!  You’ve yee-d your last haw...”

Noooo noooo... he feels more like a California guy.

Yeah... *starts singing the theme song for “The OC”*

*Everyone starts firing at Zsasz*  Zsasz is just like “Nope!’

“Nope!”

That’s the most casual duck.  Just rolls out of the way!

Come on, Jim!

I’m kinda wondering why they never got “Um guys, there’s a freaking concrete wall between windows.  He could just hide behind that!”

Or they could just like aim at an angle.

Yeah...

Get in the room!

This isn’t rocket science.

*both crack up when Zsasz goes for a drink break*

*still laughing*  What an asshole!

*Jim body slams Zsasz to the ground*  WHAA-

LET’S GO!

Right through the snack table!

And they destroyed his bowl of chips.

“[Victor] Glad to see you’re still with us.”  This man has never given a shit in his entire life.

“Thank you, thank you.  You were great.  Glad there are no hard feelings.”  I’ll be here all week.  Try the veal!

*laughs*  That was priceless.

“Allow me [Oswald] to deal with him [Victor].”  No!

No!

“If he did this, I need to know if it was a part of something larger.”  Jim, you’re always a part of something larger!  READ THE SCENE!

Oh my God, they got Zsasz sitting in the back.  Zsasz is probably gonna like try to strike up a conversation.

“So, how was life?”  “Oh my God, shut up....”

It’s that bit in “Civil War:”  “So you like cats.”

“Sam.”

This is Tony Stank!

*Selina follows Ecco and the new followers into the work site*  Oh here we go, here we go.  Here we go!

Oh Jesus... the belly of the beast.

Also, that place must smell like just terrible.

Right?!??!  If this place doesn’t smell like an armpit, then...

*Sykes dies*  ...oh God.

“Well, not with that attitude you’re not.”  *leans far and away from screen*

Bitch.

“Everyone, let’s reach inside and dig a little deeper, shall we?”  You prick.

*turns towards me*  Don’t you dare [sing]

*leans away when Jeremiah licks blood off his knife*  HI THANKS NO BYE!

*both groan in disgust*

YOU NASTY!  YOU TWO [Jeremiah and Ecco] DESERVE EACH OTHER, ya- mmmmmm!

Honestly though, I am kink-shaming.  I am kink-shaming so hard.

*chuckles*  They’re carrying his [Sykes] body out in a wheelbarrow.

OK, but like the Tim Curry voice- that’s an affectation!  He’s just putting that on to sound impressive.

*laughs when Jeremiah stops talking to himself and awkwardly clears his throat when Ecco walks in*

He’s like “Mm-mm!  Sorry!  Helloooo!”

*Jeremiah grabs Ecco by the neck to inspect her scar*  Noooooo...

He’s lookin’ right at the bullet...

Eeuughh...

“Bruce Wayne, and his sidekick Curls?  Or is he the sidekick?”  That’s still such a great line.

“And Curls can walk.  Really well.  Especially… for a paraplegic.”  *done*

*softly laughs in shock*  Oh my God...

*Jeremiah purrs appreciatively at Ecco*  How have these two not eaten each other alive at this point-

*sinks down in chair when Jeremiah dismisses Ecco*  Oh my God, that was a ghost kiss!  I HATE YOU!

“OK recruits, let’s do like my daddy did before my sixth birthday and move out!”  *both laugh*

That is a hell of a line!

*Selina follows Ecco and her group*  Yeah, you see him [Jeremiah] in the background just whip around!

Yeaahhh!

That was like a horror movie thing, where the monster just whips around.  You can imagine a little scare chord in the background.

Right?!?

Also, I like how they establish that relationship in like under a minute.

Yeah...

Like yes, that is how you do it.

That was good.

Eat that, “Suicide Squad!”

“Evidence of deflagration would suggest something with a slower burn rate, like gunpowder or nitroglycerin.”  “But for this level of destruction, that would require a bomb that's 20 cubic feet of explosive material.”  Or a baZOOKA!

People just really love their RPGs in this show.

People just really love bazookas.  Bane uses one in the Bane Red Trailer

“Man walks into a room, alone, and is later found murdered.  There are no windows, and one door, which is locked from the inside.”  *whispers*  Toxic gas.  No I’m kidding.

“The bomb was the building.”  *imitates the way Ed says “the bomb”*

I love that.

*Ed and Lucius figure out how the building blew up*  This makes the forensics class part of me just so happy.

“Ow!  That’s a really nice table.”  *both chuckle*

“We got a dozen witnesses that saw you [Victor] walk out of that building before it went kabooey.”  *in unison*  Kabooey.

“Hey, do you guys have any canned peaches? Man, I'd trade an arm and a leg for that right now. Not mine, somebody else's.”  *both laugh*

Man, I missed him!

I know!  I’m gonna miss him so much!

“And, guys, those were warning shots. I mean, if I really wanted to kill you you'd be dead.”  If you guys could aim in this show.

Right?

I mean it’s not like the *pretends to shoot around something*

“If I blew up a building full of people, I would have covered every inch of my body in sweet, sweet scars.”  Can we see them?

*gives me a weird look*

His scars!  We only see them once [way back in S1].

I’d [Victor] let Alvarez do it.  He’s handsome.”  *both chuckle*

OK, but if the Gotham fandom isn’t already shipping them, I’m gonna be very disappointed.

*tries not to say anything without laughing*

Your stunned silence is very reassuring.

“Looks like you need a new suspect.”  *in Southern drawl*  Looks like it wasn’t Zsasz!

*Oswald arrives at the precinct*  Go to hell!

I love that shot of him.

“I know the wheels of justice turn slowly, so I'm here to provide - a modicum of grease.”  A what of what?

He said “grace” like “grease.”

What of what?  I don’t know.  I don’t know diction anymore.

“Oh, I did not expect you to go soft, Jim... Actually, I did, which is why I didn’t come alone.” OH COME ON!

*nods*

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!?

“Torturing- torturing Zsasz into confessing won't give the people justice.”  And it’s not a very effective way of getting answers either!  Because they’re gonna say anything to make it stop.

Also, take a shot every time Oswald refers to Jim as “old friend.”

You’d be dead.

“There will be a trial!”  I still really wanted an episode like the “Trial” episode from the animated series.  That would have been so cool!

*waves at screen when Zsasz gets escorted out*  Bye Zsasz... you’re gonna be high as a kite the next time we see you.

We see him more in this episode.

OK.

The last episode he’s in, he’s just like “Whaauggh!”

*laughs*  What a way to go out though.

Harvey just tackles you?

I mean, if I’m gonna go out, I’m gonna go out high as a paper kite too.

*gives her the strangest look*

*laughs*  You’re judging me so hard!

*shakes head*  I can’t believe you.

I say that like I know what the hell getting high even feels like.

I love that this lazy ass [Haven bomber] just like leaves all the stuff there.  He’s like “Oh, we gotta scatter it!  Kick!”

“I truly hope you find whoever did this and make them pay.”  So he [Ed] didn’t do it.

*shakes my head like the liar I am*

OK...

“I appreciate your help, Ed.  Couldn’t have done it without you.  If you tell anyone I said that, I will deny it.”  *chuckles*

[Ed] You have one friend.  Kind of.

He so badly wants to say “No, god dammit!” but he can’t!

Censorship!

This show isn’t rated high enough.  Let Edward say [expletive]

*wheezes*  He’s not that kind of person who would say that.

Oswald would!

He would.  I made that meme thing!

Yeah that’s true.

Ed would catch himself and go “Oh... fart.”

“PENN, WHERE THE F-”

*both laugh*

Oh, that was brilliant*

*The crowd at the trial becomes unruly*  Fight, fight, fight!

Oh God...

“Look at them, Harvey.”  Not another speech!

Now see, that [mural behind the staircase in Oswald’s place] is like Bioshock!  That big-  isn’t there a big mural in the-

Yeahhh, in the church, yeah!

For the workforce?

I dunno, this is more like OG Bioshock instead of Bioshock Infinite.

Yeah.

Because we’re past the religious stuff.

Ohh the purple lighting behind him [Oswald].

“So, will I [Victor] be appointed a lawyer?  I feel like my rights are being violated.”  I mean, technically they are.

Wait, they actually have somewhere there like transcribing the whole thing [trial]!

I also like that he’s [Oswald] wearing the sash that the choir members wore.

Yep...

He [Oswald] paid off the witnesses though!  This is-

No!  Yeah, they said money is useless, so why would Oswald pay them off?

True... but this is obviously just a sham trial.

It is!  It’s a kangaroo court.  I love “The Dark Knight Rises.”

Also I like that goon in the background that looks like Neo from “The Matrix.”  With the long coat- no, that’s Morpheus.  Nevermind.

“It was a bomb.”  *chuckles*  It was a big one.

“For months now, you've been hearing me [Jim] say help is coming.”  IT AIN’T!

“This is not justice.”  This is where I pull out that quote from the first “Dark Phoenix” trailer and just insert it in here.

“I’ll [Oswald] consider that your [Jim’s] closing argument.”  That was like his opening and closing argument!

Though it did put me in mind of a much better speech from “Camelot”:  “They have forgotten justice, they want revenge, revenge the most worthless of causes.”

*Crowd calls Zsasz guilty*  What the hell were you [Jim] expecting?

Welp.

And Zsasz is like “Great...”  Good job, Jim!

Thanks for that, Jim!

Great job!

There is a guillotineeee!

Oh come onnn!

They probably got it from like the natural history museum. 

Sheesh...

Also, why would they have a guillotine in the natural history museum of Gotham?

Because this place is [expletive] up all the way up to the ears.

“Any last words?”  [Oswald] YOU PUT TAPE ON HIS MOUTH, YOU ASSHOLE!

*laughs when Victor gives his muffled last words*  He’s just stalling, I love it!

“Well said.”  *laughs*

*Victor gets rescued at the last minute*  Ohhh ho ho ho!

Shit, that was close!

*imitates Oswald yelling “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?”

I actually really hope we see Zsasz in the time jump. 

I hope so.

I will be so happy.

*Jim shoves Oswald to the ground*  MOM, HE PUSHED ME!

You self-serving asshole!

“What choice do I [Jim] have?  Either I let him [Victor] go, or he's dead for something he didn't do.”  Either that or it’s like the final scene from “Se7en.”

*very softly*  Eesh...

WHAT’S IN THE BOX?!?  No.  Zsasz is not up for that.

No.

I think he begrudgingly gets along with Barbara so he wouldn’t do that.

“This city will never be what you it to be, Jim.  It’s always gonna belong to the bad guys… like me.”  Yes.

“What?”  “Yeah, what?”  *scoffs in hilarity*

“Give him your gun.”  OK, I hate this because Jim wants him [Victor] to shoot him. 

Come on...

He wants a shootout!

“Maybe I'm just tired of listening to you, Victor.”  Jim, come on!

*groans in frustration*

I like that shot though [of Victor being offered Harvey’s gun].  It’s like one of the westerns, with the blurry background.

“Do it.”  No...

Jim, what are you, stupid?

*sits back in relief when Victor turns him down* Oh thank God...

“So [Victor] get the hell out of my face.”  So why did he [Jim] want a shoot out?  He just wanted an excuse to arrest him again?

It’s guess it’s just kind of the built up anger.  Plus the fact that everything Jim has tried to do has utterly failed.

Yeah...

So he’s at the end of his rope and given up everything.

That’s true, yeah.

Ooohh that’s [the lighting for that shot of the tunnel workers walking down the hall] cool.

Yeah, where the hell is this?

I don’t know... it looks like an old parking garage.

It does!

*All the tunnel workers get knocked out*  Oh dear.

*claps when Bruce emerges from the shadows and catches up to Alfred*  LET’S GOOOOO!  Yess!

Alfred being a badass!

*laughs when Jeremiah starts fanning himself with his hat*

*done*

*mouths along with Jeremiah’s line about the river, with eyebrows and all*

“So what do we do when we feel like giving up?”  “Dig a little deeper.”   *has to sit forward in an attempt not to laugh/sing*

*still done*

*eyes widen when Selina walks up to Jeremiah and stabs him*

“Deep enough?”  Let’s go.

Damn.

“Well Selina, I must say-“  Yeah, the Tim Curry voice is an affectation.

Yeah.

Stab number two.  Stab number three.

*in unison*  Four.  Five!  Six.  Seven.  Eight.  Nine.

God...

Ho-ly shit!

*Jeremiah drops to the ground*  And he’s alive after that.

*shakes head*

*Selina gets hit in the head with a tool*  Ohhhhhh!  That oughta hurttt!

Yeah.... Jesus.

Also, you noticed like that he [Jeremiah] immediately calmed down like “Oh, it’s not Ecco, oh thank God- oh it’s just Selina.”

*laughs*

*Last shot of Jeremiah in the episode*  He looks dead.

Yeah.  Like how the hell did you survive getting stabbed in the stomach nine times?

Plus, in the next episode, there’s a doctor there.  I think it’s some sort of surgeon.

Still though... damn...

*Ed is exhausted after climbing stairs*  Mood, Ed.

“I hate stairs.”  *laughs*

What a mood!

*sings*  What a mood, what a mood, what a mighty big mood!

[1215]  Oh Jesus...

Oh my gosh, the amount of times I’ve seen a ceramic rooster thing, ugh... that brings me back.

This poor old lady!

“You were on the roof and you had some kind of a rocket.”  *softly*  Oh my God...

*The old woman hits Ed over the head*  HA!

*Ed starts to remember*  Oh my God!  He did it after all!  Oh, you- eat shit, Ed!

*points at screen*  Yeah that’s [the long hair and bowler hat] not a look!

*Ed blow up Haven in a flashback*  Why would he even do it though?

Also, I like these Windows screensaver effects.  *laughs*

Also, I wanna know how he [Ed] got the room number.

“I promise, I won't tell anybody.”  “I know you won't.”  Oh, c’mon, Ed!

No, c’mon!  Ed, no!  No no no!

*Ed shoves the witness out the window to her death*  Eat shit and dieeeee...

*tries not to laugh*  That’s from “Batman Forever!”  Because he pushes the guy out the window in the wheelchair!

Ohhhh, eat shit and dieee-

OK, OK, here’s the thing.  You’re gonna hate this ending because I hate this ending-

Oh God...

Because Jim and Barbara and it’s like-

What...

Yeah...

*yowls in frustration*

*can’t help but laugh*  Same.

“[Barbara] Your tip didn't pan out.”  “Well, I've got another one.”  Nooo.

Jim does not need this right now.

He does not need this right now.

You’ve made a lot of shitty decisions this episode, Jim.

Yeah, everyone has.  And these two have [throughout the show].

“No one knows what it’s like to be him.”  *to the tune of the opening of 2001*  Shuuuutttt upppp!  SHUT UP!

Is this really the time for freakin’ anger sex?

I know!

“I told you to leave.”  No.

*shakes head*

*both say varying degrees of “No” when Barbara gets super close to Jim*

Jim, no.  No.

No.

*Jim grabs Barbara’s arm to stop her*  Jim, no.

MMMMMMM!!!

*bolts out of seat when Jim and Barbara start to make out* 

JIIM, COME ONNN!!!

*in the background*  I’m goin’ out the window, bye!

Jim...

*comes back to seat when end titles appear*  AND THAT IS THE end of the episode!

Nooooo!!  Jiimmm, come on!  COME ON!

[mpmwrites]

Tiffany Blue

Heeey it’s Trashboi’s birthday! (Fun fact, also my little brother’s birthday). I’m still working on my otpnsfwchallenge fic, but here's some birthday fluff! T for language!

He wasn't upset. Because, yeah, it was his 37th birthday, and it wasn't like he'd done anything about it for the past few years other than getting coffee and letting Tina pay for it as a gift. Not to mention, he and Hank did have plans to go out later that night. So he just…stewed. Picked through paperwork and watched the clock until it was finally time to leave. When six finally rolled around he hauled himself out of his chair almost before the digits on the clock turned.

We getting dinner? He reached out to Hank, who'd left work an hour before, as he headed out of the building. It was raining, and he pulled up his hood as he headed to the bus stop. He tucked himself under the awning and dropped to the bench as his phone let out the 'meow' text alert he'd downloaded.

Change of plans.

I was gonna take you out but I figured we should stay in instead, just us. Gavin sighed in the damp loneliness of the bus station, the sound of traffic making a dreary kind of white noise.

And Connor. And Rafe. He wasn't trying to come across as petulant, but he was disappointed. He thought they were going to go to the bar and drink Hank's bank account dry and eat too-greasy pizza. He'd fantasized about giggling on the Uber home and sloppily having his way with Hank in the privacy of his apartment. Instead, he got beers on the couch and had to spend his time in Hank's bed feeling self-conscious because of the two androids that now lived there too. And Sumo.

Didn't I say just us?

Sumo will be there, tho. Droids going out. The bus's tires washed a puddle over the curb that soaked into Gavin's shoes. He boarded the bus, hunching against the rain briefly and flashing his city bus card as he passed the driver. He collapsed into a seat near the center of the bus, as not to let the air conditioner make him feel worse. He pulled his phone back out and stared at the unanswered text. Part of him wanted to pout and get Hank to do what he wanted, but the intelligent part of him knew that Hank probably had a reason for the change. As he mused, another text arrived. Gonna order chinese from that place you like.

Alright Gavin answered plainly, When do you want me there?

1.5hrs. 730?

K

Once home, Gavin dropped his wet shoes into the bathroom to dry out on the tile and shucked his clothes. He mused on a shower, but the rain traffic made the bus take long enough that he doubted he'd have time. If he was going to be sitting at Hank's all night, he was at least going to take advantage of the lack of intruding androids. He dug in the drawer for a pair of his tighter jeans and then another drawer for a tee that proudly barked "Gay AF" in rainbow letters. He stuffed his backpack with his toothbrush and a change of clothes for work the next day and grimaced as he put his dry socks into his squishy shoes; he needed them for work tomorrow, so he'd have to let them dry at Hank's.

Thankfully, the rain faded as he rode the bus to Hank's street. The station was about three blocks away from Hank's place. He hopped over puddles, letting his irritation evaporate as he ambled down the sidewalk. He took a final deep breath and didn't bother to knock before letting himself in, "Hey sorry I took so long, the--"

"Happy Birthday!" Connor and Hank were yelling, Rafe sounded like he was being forced into the festivity. The three stood in the kitchen with Sumo laying in the corner. Connor sat at the kitchen table, seemingly waiting; Hank was holding a chocolate-iced cake with lit candles on top; Rafe stood by the sink with an apron on, looking annoyed at the pile of dishes. Sumo's tail thumped against the linoleum at the sudden excitement. The room was bathed in warm light, the smell of the cake surrounding the five of them. Gavin approached and received a warm kiss on the cheek as Hank held the fire hazard away from him; the cake had a full 37 candles on it and many of the flames had merged together into larger flames. Gavin thought it may be a possibility that the fire alarm was going to go off. Even so, he was pretty sure he was blushing at the attention.

"Cancelled our date to set your house on fire instead? I mean, arson isn't exactly my kink, but if--"

"Just blow out the damn candles, Gav." Hank cut him off. The smaller man did as told, blowing hard. Most of them went out, some did not, and they re-ignited the others. Gavin couldn't help but laugh as Hank leaned in to help. With several breaths they were all extinguished and released small streams of smoke into the air.

"Did you make a wish, Detective Reed?" Connor spoke up as Hank slid the cake back onto the counter. Rafe turned back to the dishes, all of which were seemingly covered in chocolate cake batter.

"Wishing is for kids." He rolled his eyes at the android without looking at him, He leaned close to Hank and swiped some icing from the cake, stuffing his pointer finger in his mouth before the older man could protest. "Sides, I have cake and shoes with puddles in them, what more could a guy need?" He hefted himself up to sit on the counter, feet dangling. The chatted like that in the kitchen until Connor and Rafe said their goodbyes and left the dishwasher running in their absence.

"Sorry I changed stuff around." Hank offered, standing close to the younger man, "It was actually a lie." he admitted carefully. Gavin shook his head,

"Which was the lie? Going out or staying in?" He smiled nonetheless.

"I mean with you in that shirt, I should take you out and show you off, but staying home was always the plan." His hands slid to Gavin's waist as he appraised the younger man approvingly.

"It's fine." Gavin shrugged, "Who am I to complain, anyway?" He hopped off the counter to take his shoes off by the door, "Chinese, Cake, hanging out with you." He smiled genuinely.

"Don't forget gifts." Hank picked up a small blue box from the table and tossed it over; Gavin caught it easily.

"It's Tiffany Blue." He joked, feigning a swoon. He rattled the box slightly and heard nothing inside. For a brief moment, the thought passed that it could be a ring, and he flushed as he untitled the black ribbon and popped the lid off; only one way to find out.

Inside there was a ring, but not the kind that put his heart in his throat. It was a key ring with a  single gold key on it. He looped a finger through it and held it up, padding back to the kitchen and looking at Hank challengingly, "A key."

"Yeah." Hank breathed. He rubbed the back of his neck slowly, procrastinating the explanation. "It's a key to the house." He dropped his hand with finality and caught Gavin's in it, "I talked about it with Connor and Rafe. We, uh… I want you to move in." He explained, looking apologetic. Gavin opened his mouth to speak but scrunched his face into one of concern before he formulated a thought.

"I have a cat." He explained, as if it truly posed as an answer. Hank smiled slowly,

"Tesla can come too." He looked amused. "I don't want you taking the bus just to see me. I don’t want to have to think about if you have clothes or a toothbrush or any of that bullshit anymore. I don't want to have to worry about if you're sleeping properly or having nightmares." He offered, his voice quiet as if the sappiness was embarrassing. "I love you, and for you I will tolerate that bitch of a cat." He laughed, kissing Gavin's forehead. The smaller man leaned against Hank, nodding against his chest,

"I guess that sounds nice."

(((SO I also had a deleted half-written scene of Connor and Rafe giving Gavin gifts, so here’s that!)))

"From what I understand, birthdays are not for fulfilling needs." Connor offered, picking up a purple gift bag with red tissue in it and passing it to the brunette.

"You got me a gift?" Gavin looked confused, but pleased as he pulled out the tissue.  He peered into the bag and grinned, fishing out the black box with foreign writing on it. "This was on my amazon wish list. It's been sold out for weeks." He said in awe, prying the cardboard box open and pulling out the hand-sized neon colored cube.

"I simply found it from another source. I'm glad you enjoy it though." The android offered as Gavin ditched the box and giftwrap to scramble the cube without looking at it.

"Thank you." He flashed a small smile as Connor's LED flickered yellow at his sudden amity.

"Don't you already have one on your desk… and your coffee table?" Hank offered, gabbing at another gift on the table and passing it over.

"I do, but this one is new and top of the line and awesome. " Gavin offered as he traded the cube for the next gift. Rafe put the remaining bowls into the dishwasher and started it before turning to watch,

"That one's from me." he admitted. it was a larger box, wrapped in green striped paper. Inside was a tee from Gavin's favorite band. He held it up to his chest and smiled, 'Not Famous' proclaimed across the black fabric in white scrawl.

"I wouldn't have thought androids would be so good at this." He mused,

[vipers-hat]

I couldn't decide on a prompt so maybe “If you play that song one more time, I’m army rolling out of this car.” or “Really? Pinning me against a wall? You couldn’t think of anything more creative?” or “What? You’ve never seen a girl cry over macaroni and cheese before?” and Johnnic for the ship because tbh I've become such a hoe for them and your writing it's just so fantastic!!!!

For all you Johnnic hoes that give me life, another “Would’ve Been Perfect for the New Divide Epilogue But That’s Just Life” piece. Ridiculously Soft John with teeth-rotting fluff ahead.

Derived By Fools: 

A conversation with Nick gets John to get introspective, and Nic has to pull out the big guns to distract him

When little Carmina Rye’s eighth birthday rolled around, it had been a wake-up call to all of the adults that the Collapse allowed for very little when it came to celebrating a child’s birthday. Still, Nick was determined to throw the best party the New World would ever see, so he had gone as all out as he could. Most of the county had been invited. He had made the point ‘you don’t gotta bring anything, just try to make it the best day ever for her.’

Not one to do arguably nothing for her favorite (and only) goddaughter- Nicolette was determined to give the girl something. After searching for ages, she had managed to scrounge together some wood nails and paint, ruling that she was going to make a dollhouse. The finished product had come out lopsided in a few places, but it would work, function well, and it was the thought that counted, damn it.

John had come through by venturing to another bunker in the Valley where some of the residents’ including the Ryes’ old things had been dumped after he or his people had stolen them. He had found a few dolls from an early raid to go along with it, and then had found an old knit blanket that had in fact been meant for Carmina around when she was born. Whoever had made it had made it large so it would grow into it with years to spare into her childhood.

When they had shown up at the party with the gifts, Carmina had been ecstatic, more so about the dollhouse, naturally. She had immediately tugged Nicolette and Cal over to the side to play with it.

John had been left behind with Kim and Nick, considering they were far more interested in the blanket and the fact that John had been willing to risk opening old wounds in favor of bringing it.

They had explained that Nick’s mother had made it for Carmina, and she had passed not long after Nikki was born- just missing the Collapse by some miracle, even if the event itself was hardly one. Still, the sentimentality and the gesture were immense to them. Nick had yanked John into a long, quiet-but-loaded-with-emotion bear hug in response. Even Kim had joined in, but upon feeling and sensing John’s still-very-much-there issue with physical affection from people outside of his wife and son, she had backed up, patted the small of his back a couple of times and relented. It had taken Nick a solid minute extra to catch on.

After Carmina had roped Cal and Tommy Stone into playing with the dolls and dollhouse with her, the adults had gone into the Rye home- which had also remained in relatively good shape since the Collapse and was just about back to normal after repairs.

After a few minutes, Nicolette had seen Nick and Kim having a hushed conversation in one corner, muted by Sharky and Addie talking about how Xander had almost blown up the Marina because he had brought a match too close to a gas tank while drunk the previous week. She had given them a concerned look, and once Nick caught her watching, he merely winked and waved his hand dismissively before wandering over to John, who was in the opposite corner, talking to Jerome. Whatever he had said got drowned out by the other two again, and she watched curiously as Nick led John into the kitchen and out of view. She hadn’t expected to miss the openness of the place before they had to build walls to support it, but the suspense was killing her.

There was a series of metallic clanking every once in a while and Nicolette had wanted to investigate, but Sharky had looped an arm around her shoulders to relay the time that they had shot down a Chosen plane and it had gone straight into a shrine, sending the ‘whole damn thing up in the biggest fuckin’- shit, language- shit, I did it again- SORRY- blaze that you ever did see.’

It had been another few minutes before some smell that Nicolette couldn’t put her finger on wafted in from the other room. Kim came out after a few more minutes in order to get the kids to come inside.

And then the big question got answered, because Kim and Nick came into the room with a cake, and John trailed behind with a bowl of mac and cheese.

The kids merely shrieked in response, oblivious to the fact that everyone else was dead silent after seeing the mac and cheese, torn between laughing or not. They had all heard the ‘watery mac and cheese’ story. But this batch hardly looked watery at all.

Nicolette personally focused on the positive. They had included John after everything. The Ryes were making an effort to rebuild bridges. John was making an effort to atone for all his wrongdoings. Also, they had fucking made legitimate mac and cheese, which they hadn’t had in years and good God, she had missed it. She couldn’t wait to see how Cal liked it.

John caught on to the strange looks that came his way. “It was Joseph who made the batch from the barbecue,” he pointed out, but not without humor. Some mix of emotions passed in his eyes for a moment.

It took Nicolette a moment to realize just saying the other man’s name probably brought him back to weeks ago when Joseph had shown up at the Ranch, getting Cal’s attention from afar in order to bait John into leaving the house to investigate and discovering that his brother had found a way to a bunker, survived and wanted to change things between them- they were family, he needed his brother back and all that. The confrontation had almost gotten ugly, and John had lost sleep over it for a week.

She sighed, sidled over to him and took the bowl out of his hands. She passed it over to Addie, who seemed to put together that there was something only they knew that was bothering him, so she took over serving. Nicolette wrapped her arms around John and planted her chin firmly on his chest. “Hey. You good?” she leaned up to kiss him for good measure.

John sighed into it, then nodded. “I’m good,” he confirmed. He watched her for a moment and noticed her eyes were glossy side- and had been the second he had come around the corner. He stepped back in order to sit down in the chair behind him and pulled her down with him. “Are you?”

“What, you’ve never seen a girl cry over macaroni and cheese before?”

“Not at all,” John answered.

“Yeah, well, macaroni and cheese usually isn’t literal, an old favorite that the world’s prevented you from having for years. Or, ya know, a metaphor for you and the rest of these guys getting along.”

John scoffed, though there was no animosity behind it. “What’s with you, Whitehorse and the metaphors?”

“Dunno. I just get it from him.”

He scoffed again, then bumped his nose against hers in a show of affection that had everyone staring.

Hurk, however, was the only one ballsy or stupid enough to ask. “So… can I ask how this happened? Like how y’all went from tryin’ to kill each other to bein’ all in love n’ shit? ‘Cause all the people who weren’t in the know got was that ‘Joseph’s the Actual Snake’ video and like… word a’ mouth stuff.”

Addie snickered behind her glass of water. “Well, after Joseph went and betray him I imagine the turnin’ point in their relationship was their little rendezvous at Landsdowne. I mean, what could’ve been going through our girl’s head other than ‘pinning me up against that wall and fucking me, John, you couldn’t think of anything more creative’?!”

“ADDIE!” Nicolette objected over the mixed reactions of uneasy embarrassment or enjoyment the statement got- first and foremost in her brain was naturally Earl choking on whatever drink he was in the middle of taking as he finally found out the answer to the question about Landsdowne’s importance in their lives that he had wondered about for years.

“I’m right though, aren’t I?” Addie teased. “I mean, after all that cat and mouse you two boned against a wall. And from what I literally heard it was just a quickie. Sounded awfully vanilla to me after the weird piny shit you two got up to.”

“ ‘We’, hm?” John countered quickly, fully ready to change the subject by small tangents bit by bit if he had to.

“Oh, honey, you were her ‘f-word’ in our game of ‘F’, Marry-”

“Addie!” Nicolette repeated and threw an empty can at the woman for good measure.

John, however, finding an opening to avoid getting too deep into their history: “Oh, was I now?”

“You were everybody’s…’F’. Even Addie’s, for good measure. And Sharky’s, for the record. And Grace’s-”

“Mother or not, I can and will kill you,” Grace cut in from the back of the crowd.

It was enough to break whatever awkwardness had started up between everyone. The rest was broken when the kids came barrelling down the stairs, with Nikki, donned in her grandmother’s blanket tied around her shoulders like a cape, chasing the boys. She was yelling about being ‘Super Rook’ catching the bank robbers.’

Cal was very determined to make the point that ‘Super Rook’ was actually his mom so he would ‘get out of jail’ quickly.

Nicolette immediately joined in the chase, citing that ‘two Super Rook’s were better than one.’

Cal had been absolutely delighted at the betrayal.

By the time sunset rolled around, most of the crowd had dispersed, and the Ryes, Raylans, Jerome were the last ones left, crowded around the fire. Each family got one of the chairs, large enough to accept them because Nick had been determined to make adirondack chairs larger than the ones that had been at Johns ranch.

John had risked making a joke about Nick compensating for something, and Nick had come back at him by simply motioning at the Yes sign on the horizon, and that had promptly shut John up, but to everyone’s surprise it was in good humor. 

It had started off as shooting the shit with everybody about current issues before they were all a couple of drinks deep and itching to share memories from their time before the Collapse.

After a while, Nicolette had fallen asleep, leaning on John’s side and Cal was out cold draped across his chest. Carmina was curled up against Nick’s side, about to nod off herself, and the two men were just enjoying the peace of the night. Kim and Addie were on the other side of the yard, coming up with a joint travel business to get things back to normal again.

Something about the whole situation got John thinking about the past. Rescue me from all my sins, let me not be derived by fools. He had lived by that once. He was desperate to hate the woman who had forced him to quote it- to make it a mantra. The same woman who let him in; who let him love her and who let herself be loved by a monster. He had thought he was the fool once after Jacob’s death, after spending a while thinking they were the fools. He had fought tooth and nail against the love in his heart disguising itself as lust and begrudging respect. He had been right the first time. She and the others had been the fools. And they had rescued him from his sins. His heart ached in the best way and pulled Cal closer in response to ground himself.

Nick caught the look and smiled weakly. “Never thought this would’ve been a thing that happened after all this, huh? All of us sittin’ around a fire, enjoying each other’s company? Letting our kids hang out together? You havin’ a kid. With the Deputy.”

Deputy. It had been so long since he had heard that title said with such reverence. He had almost forgotten about how that was a constant in his vocabulary back then, spat with venom seeping from the word each time.

And now here the object of such strife was, curled up against him- his wife, mother of his child, his other half in so many other ways than just sharing their sin.

He hummed in agreement. 

They sat in silence for a while before Nick broke it again. “You ever miss it? Life before the Collapse?”

“I didn’t have much of one before these two, so no,” John answered. 

Nick gagged dramatically. “Don’t let Kim hear that, she’ll never think I do or say anything romantic ever again.”

“I think she’d understand.”

Nick squinted. “Hold on, you were rolling in money and you don’t consider that much of a life?”

“Nicolette never told you…?” John asked.

“Told me what?” Nick asked.

John exhaled sharply. She hadn’t gone blabbing about his childhood to anyone. There had been no sympathy gained from his history. He had earned his spot back with them, too. “I… wasn’t sober enough to remember most of the ‘good things’, and then… before I was ‘rolling in money”, well, let’s just say I wish I could forget.” He looked down at his family. Even after all these years he couldn’t wrap his mind around that word. “I owe all this to them…”

Nick hummed after a moment of dead silence, then leaned back. “You’re alright, John. Never thought I’d say that, but… Hell, you ain’t who you used to be.”

Thank God, John agreed, though he kept it to himself. After a while, he sighed. “After all this time, I’ve never apologized to you.”

Nick looked uneasy for a second, “For what?” he asked, though it was clearly more a question on what single item on a list of many he was apologizing for. He wasn’t playing stupid. 

“I… there were…” John sighed. “There are things I did back then… if I could go back, I wouldn’t change them. I’d do them again. I was… trying to make all of you see reason, to see things our way, regardless of whether or not what Joseph said ended up being true-”

“Yeah, well, look who ended up being right in the long run. That’s on us,” Nick replied quietly. 

“No it’s not. You were protecting your people,” John argued, then sighed. “That’s not- I meant… during… this one’s Atonement, I threatened you. I threatened your wife and unborn child. I didn’t… know, I didn’t understand… not until this,” he tilted his chin down at his family. “And I… I would die if anything happened to them, and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. Including you back then. So… that’s… if it’s one thing I’m gonna apologize for, it’s that.”

Nick stared at him for a while, then shrugged. “Well, I don’t think I could ever exactly forgive you, but you’ve made up for it by now, Partner. Just don’t fuck it up and relapse.”

“I’d rather die than do that, too,” John assured him.

“Yeah, well, don’t do that either, it’ll break Nic’s heart, and if that happens I’m obligated to bring you back to life to beat your ass back to death,” Nick countered.

“Deal,” John agreed.

Nicolette stirred and lifted her head from John’s shoulder. “What’re you roping my husband into, Nick?”

“World domination, then space travel- and space domination. Why, you want in?” Nick asked.

“Well, I mean I am the one with the resume citing taking control of an entire county,” Nicolette pointed out.

“We helped a little,” Nick teased.

“Teeny bit,” Nicolette digressed. She stretched. “We should get going. Gotta see about those new police recruits soon.”

“You mean Rook won’t be Rook for much longer?” Kim asked as she and Addie ventured over to them.

She shrugged. “Can’t be the new girl on the block forever.”

“But you’ll always be our Rook,” Addie pointed out.

“I just threw up a little in my mouth,” Nicolette replied playfully, then untangled herself from John. She gave Cal a couple of pokes on the back as she went. “Hey, Little Man…”

Cal stirred, then blinked up at them.

John grinned. “Ready to go, Buddy?”

“Do we have to?” Cal asked.

“We’ll see them in a couple of days. They’re not far,” John insisted.

“What’s in it for me?” Cal asked after a moment.

John scoffed. “You’re your mother’s son, alright. How about… a race to the car?” John suggested.

“Deal!” Cal agreed, wide awake at the promise of the game, and immediately launched himself off of his father and bolted, headed for the pickup truck on the other side of the yard.

“Cheater!” John called before hopping up to chase after him.

“There’s him being his father’s son,” Nick mused.

Nicolette beamed, and then with a quick goodbye to the rest of them, headed for the truck. By the time she had made it, Cal was already rambling on about his victory in the race, and John was giving him that same patient, loving, prideful look he usually did any time Cal did one of his rambles.

She got in the driver’s seat and started up the truck, beaming away when Cal leaned forward to give a play by play of just what he had done to ensure he won the race. Apparently John’s leg had just happened to cramp up a couple of times- John had hidden his answering smirk behind his hand at just how hilarious Cal had found his father’s completely accidental blunder.

It didn’t take much of the short ride home to have Nicolette notice just how quiet John had been once he had turned back to look at the road, though. He was clearly lost in thoughts, but troubled all the same. She had seen that look on him several times- first and foremost when he had first tried to get a confession out of her. She reached over to turn on the radio to provide another distraction.

“-keep us safe, he’s gonna march us right to Eden’s gate, Oooh-’”

Not the worst happenstance when a radio turned on with a terribly timed song in her life, but not the best either. She glanced John’s way to see the man did drift out of his thoughts, only to look murderous. “John-”

John lunged for the comm radio in the corner, turned to a different channel and leaned in.. “Wheaty, if you play that song again I am rolling out of this fuc-  car, and if the impact doesn’t kill me I’m coming to-”

“Easy, man! It was an old playlist, I don’t know how that happened, I swear! The second it came on I’ve been looking for something to switch it to.”

“Get. It. Off.”

“Okay, Okay!”

The line went dead, there was a horrible electronic crackle sound from the car radio, and it immediately switched to Bad Moon Rising.

John groaned, then shook his head. “Thank you.”

“You got it.”

The other line was silent, so John slipped the radio back into its holster.

Nicolette sighed. “Sounds like it was an accident, it’s not like he did it on purpose. You wouldn’t have known it was even on if-”

“I just didn’t need that reminder of back then after today.”

She frowned as they pulled up towards the main driveway of the Ranch. “Did Nick say something?”

“No, he didn’t. Well, he did, but… not against me.”

She sighed, letting the rest of the ride go in silence until she parked the truck up front.

Cal, upon seeing that Uncle Sharky had been back home for a while, Cal tore out of the truck, ran over and launched himself at the man.

Sharky, ever the perfect uncle and former stand-in father, caught him around the middle and brought them both falling to the ground, laughing and insisting ‘aaah, you got me!’ all the while.

She watched them for a while until she realized John still hadn’t moved. She looked back at him.  “Talk to me.”

“It’s nothing,” he murmured.

“Hey.You’re the one that said no more lies,” she insisted. 

“Nick and I talked about… before. I just thought about what could have been if some meddling Deputy didn’t decide I was going to be a bargaining chip is all.”

“Ooooh. Been a long time since I’ve heard that word come out of your mouth.”  

John scoffed weakly, then sighed. “I would’ve been half dead or worse… thrown on the ground again, half dead, and… “ he was cut off when she leaned over to kiss him, and as per usual he melted right into it.

She pulled back. “Yeah, well thank God for the Tree Incident.”

He scoffed again. It was true. Things had changed with them because of a fucking tree.  Because she had fucked up and gotten stuck- a new spin on their cat and mouse game- she was the cat that literally got stuck in a tree,  but counted on him rescuing her just to play to his audience that consisted of her and her alone. She had manipulated the shit out of his interest in her that she had known about, and he had fallen for it. And that event had stayed his hand in killing her just as much as it had hers the second she tackled him to the ground on that hill and screamed at him to stop rather than shooting him in the chest like she should’ve. 

He had never really thought about it like that. He owed being alive wholly to Nicolette, but that damned tree was partially responsible, too.

It was awfully humbling to know that one owed their life to a tree. 

It was saying something that the damned tree had managed to stay standing in those seven years after the bombs. It was singed to all hell and dead, but still there, ever resilient. There was another metaphor in there somewhere, too. Now Earl was influencing him. He didn’t mind in the least.

“Now, do I get my husband back, or do we have to tell Sharky that he’s on babysitting duty until I knock some sense into you?” she touched her forehead to his.

“I wouldn’t be opposed to other methods of convincing,” he pointed out.

It was her turn to scoff. “You know that I know you’re deflecting, right?”

He sighed, then with some difficulty maneuvered her over to him so she was in his lap. He kissed her. “I love you.”

“Still deflecting.”

“Still love you,” he countered and leaned in again. He rolled his eyes when she drew back and pressed her fingers into his lips to silence him.

“You ended up worth it. Don’t ever doubt that.”

“I owe you my life,” John pointed out.

She smiled. “And I don’t intend on collecting. So stop thinking for once in your goddamn life you owe me.”

He sighed. “Fine,” he agreed. Then, wordlessly he looped an arm around her, pulled her flush against him, opened the car door and got out, holding her to him.

Nicolette let out a noise that was half alarm, half protest. “Right, because this is entirely inconspicuous.”

“Cal’s not gonna understand, and Sharky’s seen it and partaken enough to know what we’re about to be up to. So I like the babysitting plan,” John countered. “And I have to go thank my wife for my life, anyway.”

“ ‘Can’t think of anything more creative’ to say?” Nicolette countered, parroting what Addie had made her hypothetically think earlier in the day.

“Never heard a complaint out of you yet.”

They crossed the yard, waved off Sharky’s very knowing grin and eyebrow waggle as they made it into the house.

Once they got into their bedroom, John practically tossed Nicolette onto the bed. She laughed in response, then met him halfway when he moved to kiss her again. He pulled back after a few moments and got lost in thought again when she offered him a loving look. He wasn’t sure if it was the booze or having thought about the time before the Collapse earlier, but now everything wa in a different focus. Part of him had always loved his Deputy in some way shape or form since he had escaped his bunker the first time. But she was right, everything had changed in the span of minutes over a stupid mistake, and when he thought things had gone to shit, when Eden’s Gates had been closed, he had mourned the loss of one life but gained so much in a new life.

He was barely aware of her running her fingers through his hair before she resorted to tapping him on the forehead to gain his attention. He snapped out of it.

“What happened to no more thinking?”

John risked looking apologetic before he leaned in again- only to be pushed back lightly. He arched an eyebrow at her.

She sighed. “Alright, fine. Try this on for size, considering there’s no getting through to you otherwise tonight. Was gonna tell you this in a few days but now you clearly need the distraction. You sir, need to stop with the angsty introspective stuff because we’re gonna have another life around here before long, and I can’t have all that negativity around when we do.”

“‘Another li’…?”  John trailed off. Realization set in, doing exactly what she had counted on the news doing. He glanced down at her abdomen, then back up to her.

She beamed. “You’re gonna be a dad again.”

He blinked at her a couple of times, then immediately crushed his mouth to hers quickly, before the questions started piling up in his brain and he had to pull away to ask them.  “How far… when…?”

“Couple of months, so… if I’m doing the math right, our little uh… visit to the Yes sign.”

“… Addie is never finding out about that little detail. Or that that happened.”

“Oh God, no.”

“I’m gonna be a father again…” he murmured. His heart clenched. She was pregnant. They were going to have another child. Cal had turned out to be the best accident in his life. And now another miracle in its own right had happened. And this one was more or less planned, they were actually together and not on the brink of something that was still dotted with hatred. They were continuing the New World, helping it’s future. His family was going to grow. He was near beside himself. And then it hit him. The second moment of clarity in his life. He was in love, had people to love, and he was loved. And he was happy. This was pure, unadulterated happiness. The thought that Joseph was right again drifted into his head, but even that didn’t deter the absolute high he was on. It had taken him the better part of nearly eight years to realize it, but that’s what that feeling in his chest was that he couldn’t put his finger on because it was just short of unrecognizable. He had been robbed of it for so long, and here it was, staring him in the face. And just like he had on the kitchen floor all those years ago, he laughed- but now it was for an entirely different reason. The best reason. Unable to articulate anything else, he pulled her into another kiss.

Derived by fools, indeed.

[bad-draft-stuff]

c. AU 6

SO CLOSE TO SPOOP

Arsé-kun: -Friday, October 29th- Sheepy: *Another morning has come! Grif is looming ominously in the kitchen, making crunching noises. Could the source be the frozen burrito he’s eating, still in the shell?* Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Griflet, for the last time, stop eating plastic wrappers. Sheepy: Grif: They contain nutrients. Arsé-kun: Yog: .... When you get internal bleeding, I don't want to hear about it. Sheepy: Grif: Internal bleeding is no problem. Sheepy: Grif: That’s where the blood is supposed to be. Arsé-kun: Yog: .... Don't make me come out there and slap you. I won't, of course, but it sounded good. Sheepy: Grif: You can come out here? Arsé-kun: Yog: No, but I am going to try while no one is looking. Sheepy: Grif: I see. A stealth mission. Arsé-kun: Yog: And I do not want to disturb your roommates. Arsé-kun: Yog: Grandfather is preoccupied, Father is currently dealing with that I believe, and no one mortal is looking. This is my only chance to make progress. Sheepy: Grif: Go ahead, then. Arsé-kun: *A banana-yellow tentacle starts to worm its way into the room through the microwave. Some pink cotton candy-like cloud comes with it, from which a single starry orb arises* Arsé-kun: Yog: One percent invasion rate successful. I could probably keep going. Sheepy: Grif: Go on. Sheepy: *Grif finishes his burrito + plastic.* Arsé-kun: Yog: I intend to. Here I come. Arsé-kun: *Yog's human avatar comes out of the clouds, reaches out, and pats Grif's head. Pat, pat* Sheepy: Grif: ? Is there something on me? Arsé-kun: Yog: *he sighs and smiles slightly* No. I wanted contact. Sheepy: Grif: I see. We don’t get that very often. Arsé-kun: Yog: We certainly don't. Sheepy: Grif: I finished the round sandwich so I don’t have any for you. Sorry. Arsé-kun: Yog: Don't worry, I'll find something. *he sends the tentacle to the freezer to find food. it comes back with an ice-cream bar.* Sheepy: Grif: That’s called ice cream. It has a crunchy shell and creamy innards. Part of it tastes like wood. Arsé-kun: Yog: You don't eat the stick or the wrapper, Griflet. *he opens it, wraps the plastic around the stick, and has his prize. mmm. human food.* Sheepy: Grif; Stick? Wrapper? Arsé-kun: *Yog's out of the cloud to his waist, approximately, with several more tentacles of varying shades underneath. He's leaning on one with his elbow, and hand against his head. Comfy. His hair is notably not cotton candy cloud, but it's close.* Arsé-kun: Yog: The wrapper is the plastic. The wood is the stick. Neither is meant for human consumption. Sheepy: Grif: But I’m not human. It’s meant for Griflet consumption. Arsé-kun: Yog: If not for your father's eating habits, you'd also be restricted. Sheepy: Grif: ? He usually eats metal. Arsé-kun: Yog: Which humans do not. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... true. Arsé-kun: *Fou enters the kitchen to eat his food. hungery cat* Sheepy: Grif: Hi, Fou. Arsé-kun: Fou: mrrp. Sheepy: Grif: This is my dad. Arsé-kun: Fou: mrrrrAH Sheepy: Grif:? Arsé-kun: Fou: MYAAH?! *hiss, hiss, puff up* Nyaorr! Sheepy: Grif: He's nice. Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Like Grandfather and Wilbur, animals don't take lightly to my being here. Arsé-kun: Yog: But he looks so soft. I'm jealous. Sheepy: Grif: He's very soft. Sheepy: Grif: Lobo is soft, too. He likes to chew on me. I think he likes me. Arsé-kun: *fou keeps just puffing up until he looks like a furry cotton ball. how scary* Sheepy: Grif: What is he doing? Arsé-kun: Yog: Cats usually puff out their fur to appear larger than they are when they feel threatened. Arsé-kun: Yog: I am likely the threat. Sheepy: Grif: Uncle does that, too. Arsé-kun: *Fou scurries away with his tail between his legs. Nope, nope!* Arsé-kun: *... Fou yelling can still be heard from here* Sheepy: Grif: Why is he yelling? Arsé-kun: Yog: I'm not looking, so I do not know. Sheepy: *Bedi enters the kitchen soon afterwards, still in his sleepwear. He looks half asleep and his hair is down for once.* Arsé-kun: *Yog looks alarmed for a brief moment* Sheepy: Bedi: ...Grif didn't eat it... There's still food in the bowl. Arsé-kun: Yog: *lowering his voice* I should probably go. Arsé-kun: Fou: Nyao! Nyao! Mraah! Hsss! Sheepy: *...Bedi, surprisingly, doesn't seem to notice Yog at all.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Sir, please, it's so completely obvious. Sheepy: *Bedi looks over to the microwave while getting out the cat food.* Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Just speaking to Griflet about potential missions. Do proceed. Sheepy: Bedi:...Oh, it's just Grif's dad. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That..?! Sheepy: Bedi: Not the dragon one. The other one. *he fills Fou's bowl to the proper amount.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: This is... Normal..? I had heard about monsters but this is beyond what I had expected.. Sheepy: Bedi: Normal isn't the word. Sheepy: Bedi: It's just how living with Griflet is. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I see... *not understanding at all* Arsé-kun: *Fou is STILL hiding from Yog behind Bedi and making noises* Sheepy: Bedi: It's okay, Fou. Arsé-kun: Fou: Nyao! Sheepy: Bedi: *he yawns and rubs his eyes* It's common for his dad to... *he finally notices Yog and trails off* Arsé-kun: Yog: .... ..... So like I said, I should probably not freak out your roommates. Sheepy: Grif: Unfortunate. Visit again soon. Okay? Arsé-kun: Yog: I'll certainly try if Father and Grandfather are both absent and the stars align. Sheepy: Grif: I see... Such strict requirements... Arsé-kun: *Yog gives Bedi a very guilty grin and a small wave, and then pats Grif again. He then withdraws in a way only described by "Looney Tunes smear-frame". One tentacle zips back into frame to steal a carton of ice cream from the freezer and bump it closed before vanishing into the cloudy microwave. And then the door slams shut.* Sheepy: Bedi: *he blinks, confused* ..... Arsé-kun: Yog: ... I am sorry you had to see that. Sheepy: Bedi:....Merlin left a science experiment in the microwave again...? Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Let us not discuss that. I have pride as a sothoth to uphold. Sheepy: Bedi:....Um, okay. Arsé-kun: *Fou gets down and sniffs before slowly moving to his food dish. Disturbance gone* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, you'll eat it now? ... I thought you were yelling because there wasn't enough. Arsé-kun: Fou: Mrrbrgrbr *hes munching* Arsé-kun: Arthur: I believe it was both situations, sir. The low food rations and... That. Sheepy: Bedi: Eels.... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Were those eels? Sheepy: Bedi: I don't know. Sheepy: Grif: It was Dad. Arsé-kun: Arthur: This answers nothing for me. Sheepy: Grif: He's... Sheepy: Grif:....... Sheepy: Grif: He's Dad. Arsé-kun: *Arthur blankly stares at him* Sheepy: Grif: He's not like anything you've seen because he isn't from this world. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... I now understand Cai's desire to drink several pints of wine upon seeing Jaufre. Sheepy: Grif: Kay wants to drink when he sees me sometimes. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I believe I understand this as well now. ... Too bad. Sheepy: Grif: He drinks beer instead. I think. Arsé-kun: Arthur: We had beer. It was more pure than the riverwater, but not had as often. Sheepy: Grif: Pure? Riverwater? Arsé-kun: Arthur: We didn't have... This. *gestures to the sink* Sheepy: *Elyan is chilling out in the sink.* Arsé-kun: *Yog has fully withdrawn from the scene. He is a little embarrassed from being caught. He should have been paying attention but wasn't.* Sheepy: Bedi: That's a sink. Arsé-kun: Arthur: We didn't have this. The water looked filthy by comparison. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm... that's concerning.. Sheepy: Bedi: Then how did you not get sick? Arsé-kun: Arthur: We did. Sheepy: Bedi:...Eh? Sheepy: Bedi: You can heat it to clean it, right? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I guess. Don't worry about it, it was in the past. Sheepy: Bedi: And you had Grif's Dad. He's like a walking lighter. Sheepy: Bedi: But I suppose these ideas are too late... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ..... Yes. Sheepy: Bedi: But now, not only can you get pure water from a tap, you can also keep perishables like meat good for a while! Sheepy: Bedi: That's the power of modern technology! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I don't understand at all, but I see. Sheepy: Bedi: Well... how to explain...? Sheepy: Bedi: I don't think I can... Sheepy: Bedi: Can you feel temperature? Arsé-kun: Arthur: um. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Kind of. Sheepy: *Bedi approaches the freezer and opens it* Sheepy: Bedi: Feel this. Arsé-kun: *Arthur hovers in front of it. He looks perplexed.* Sheepy: Bedi: It keeps food fresh. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Cold box.. Sheepy: Bedi: You can freeze milk to get a dessert, and you can freeze meat to keep it fresh for when you want dinner. You then can heat it up when you want to eat it. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That's amazing. Sheepy: Bedi: The bottom part that I haven't opened is less cold so it won't freeze things, but it'll still keep them fresh. Sheepy: Bedi: Of course, things do still go bad if you leave them there long enough, but it takes longer than food being exposed to room temperature. Sheepy: *Aru is petting Fou in the background* Arsé-kun: *Fou is chewing on her sleeve* Sheepy: Aru: My sleeve isn't for chewing, Fou... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... I have decided I do not like the cold box. It is too cold for my liking. Sheepy: *Bedi closes it* Sheepy: Bedi: I suppose that's understandable.... Sheepy: Aru: Oh, Arthur! There you are! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Here I am. You missed what I initially called you for. Sheepy: Aru: Sorry. I wasn't fully awake yet. Sheepy: Aru: What was it? Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... What was the word you used, Sir? Eels? Sheepy: Bedi: Eels. Sheepy: Aru:...Eels? What about them? Sheepy: Aru: Beddy showed me one once. It was scary with all its teeth... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Clouds and eels. Crystal balls? But do eels have heads? Sheepy: Aru: Uhuh. Sharp teeth, nostrils, eyes... but some are cute. Sheepy: Aru: I can show you on my phone. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Then those were not eels. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe they were tentacles. Sheepy: Aru: Like on an octopus! Sheepy: Aru: Have you seen an octopus before, Arthur? Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... What the, pardon my language, heck is an octopus? Sheepy: Aru: It's squishy and lives in the water! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Hate that. Go on. Sheepy: Aru: They're incredibly intelligent and use their ability to get through basically any sized gap to their advantage. Sheepy: Aru: They have eight long arms and scuttle around. Some even carry a home with them! Sheepy: Aru: The only hard part of their body is their beak. So long as their beak fits, the rest of their body will, too. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Beak???? Eight arms??????? Arsé-kun: *poor arthur is getting overwhelmed* Sheepy: Aru: *she pulls up a picture of an octopus and shows it to Arthur* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Yes! Like that! But without the bulbous part! Sheepy: Aru: Those are its tentacles. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That's horrible and I dislike them. But that is more accurate than eel. Sheepy: Aru: They aren't so bad. Sheepy: Aru: Hmmm.... I know a good way to get you up to speed on animals! We should go to the zoo sometime!! Arsé-kun: Arthur: the what Sheepy: Aru: The zoo! It's a place where they take care of animals and let you look at them. Arsé-kun: Arthur: So a farm...? Sheepy: Aru: Ummm... well, the animals don't produce anything. Sheepy: Aru: They're more like... government owned pets? But you can visit them and learn aboutthem! There's usually a barrier between thr animal and you, though, because a lot of them eat or hurt people. Arsé-kun: Arthur: So a farm. Sheepy: Aru:...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: A cow can easily hurt someone. Sheepy: Aru: No, um... let's say you had, ummm... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Not a big deal but go on. Sheepy: Aru: And you make a big, nice environment for it. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... A farm? Sheepy: Aru: But you surround this environment with walls! Arsé-kun: Arthur: A stable??? Sheepy: Aru: They're low walls, so people can see inside, but you can't go inside. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Forbidden stable.. Sheepy: Aru: Okay, so you have this cow in an enclosed area, but everyone can look inside to see the cow. Sheepy: Aru: And then there'll be, umm... Okay, so you hire an employee. Sheepy: Aru: And this employee tells the guests facts about cows. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... So Bedwyr every time we'd pass a cow. Sheepy: Aru: Well... Yes. Okay, so you have Bedwyr. Sheepy: Aru: But then you make more, um... forbidden stables. Sheepy: Aru: But these have horses, goats, and chickens. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *entering scene* we talkin' farms..? Sheepy: Aru: And you have a big forbidden stable full of water. You put an octopus inside along wih some eels-- no!! Arsé-kun: Merlin: ....? ???? Arsé-kun: Arthur: H. How. Sheepy: Aru: Anyway, people come to look at all of the animals, and Beddy tells everyone about them! That's a zoo! Arsé-kun: Merlin: why didn't you just say the walls are made of window Sheepy: Aru: Okay, okay, so the walls are made of window! Arsé-kun: Arthur: So that's how you see in... Sheepy: Aru: But instead of having cows, goats, horses, and chickens, they'd have, um... lions! Sheepy: Aru: And elephants! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ...! Sheepy: Aru: And, uhhh... panthers! Wolves... Turtles... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Dragons? Sheepy: Aru: Um... Komodo dragons, maybe. Sheepy: Aru: Humans have to take care of all of the animals, and dragons would prove too difficult to take care of, I think. Sheepy: Aru: But there's a bird that stands on one foot! Sheepy: Aru: And a horse with stripes! And...and... Merlin, you've been to the zoo before, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I have! I liked the lizards the most. Sheepy: Aru: Really? Because of dragons? Arsé-kun: Merlin: yes Sheepy: Aru: I don't actually remember much from the zoo. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It sure did have animals in it. Sheepy: Aru: ....Were you really little when you went, too, Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I was like. I dunno. Eight? Sheepy: Aru: Neither of us would be good at explaining zoos to Arthur, would we... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nope. Now let me be a garbage person. Arsé-kun: *Merlin goes to and opens the freezer. Investigates. Stops.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... where's my breakfast burrito? Sheepy: Bedi: Shouldn't you eat a real breakfast..eh? Sheepy: Grif: Boo-ri-toe? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Grif, did you eat a cylinder from the freezer? Sheepy: Grif: It was cold and crunchy. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So many things wrong here. Sheepy: Grif: I didn't like the shell very much Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Did you eat my ice cream too?? Sheepy: Grif: Ice cream? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I just opened a whole carton of ice cream but it's gone..! Where is my food going?? Sheepy: Grif:....Have you checked the microwave? Arsé-kun: Merlin: wot Sheepy: Grif: The microwave? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Why would it be there?? Sheepy: Grif: You haven't checked? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Tentacle eels were in there before. Arsé-kun: Merlin: >:V ??????? Sheepy: Bedi: It looked like a science experiment gone wrong, but it was Grif's dad... Sheepy: Grif: Well, Dad doesn't get ice cream very often. Arsé-kun: *Merlin grimaces and opens the microwave. A twenty dollar bill falls out. There's an ice cream stain on it.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wow! Grif's dad pays back better than Tristan ever has! Sheepy: Grif: Look. He paid you for the ice cream. Make sure to thank him. He doesn't do that for just anyone. He bleeds Herb dry, I've heard. Arsé-kun: Kay: the fuck is going on in here?? I heard zoos, tentacles, orb dad, Tristan's unending debts, and forbidden stables all in the last bathroom break. Sheepy: Grif: Dad was in the microwave and he ate Merlin's ice cream. Sheepy: Aru: Kay, let's go to the zoo! Arsé-kun: Kay: under-fucking-standable, I got mo- what Sheepy: Aru: Arthur doesn't know animals, so we need to show them to him. Arsé-kun: Kay: In this fuckin' economy? How are we gonna get there? Sheepy: Aru: Um... Arsé-kun: Kay: Exactly. Sheepy: Aru: Dove! Arsé-kun: Kay: Hell no. Sheepy: Aru:?! Arsé-kun: Kay: Not doin' that again. Sheepy: Aru: Okay, Merlin, let's go to the zoo! Sheepy: Grif: Dad should be around still if you want to see a dragon, but you've probably seen him enough for it not to be a unique experience. Sheepy: Grif: If you want a zoo here, Elyan might be willing to become different animals, but he might turn into your phone instead of the animal on it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sure, I can teleport, but not THAT far! Sheepy: Aru: Darn... Sheepy: Aru: Maybe one day we can go to the zoo. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But not today. Sheepy: Aru: Yes... Arsé-kun: *Merlin needs his garbage person fix, and has started pouring two different cereals into one bowl. This is a disaster* Sheepy: Aru: Does that taste like anything detectable? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It tastes like sugar. Sheepy: Bedi: It's not a real breakfast... Sheepy: Bedi: It'll make it hard for you to focus later in the day. Arsé-kun: Merlin: My planned one got eaten, so I ain't got much of a choice. Sheepy: Bedi: Um... is this really the only choice? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Ain't got class, so we can make a good lunch later. Sheepy: Bedi: Well, that works. Sheepy: Bedi: Are you going to be taking lessons from Misyr later? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I do hope so. Hey Aru, you wanna come with? Sheepy: Aru: I've never met him before. I'm not really allowed in the meetings they have, but even if I was, Misyr doesn't show up anyway, I've heard. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm just gonna end up repeating what I learn to you anyway. Sheepy: Aru: Well, I'll definitely go! Sheepy: Aru: I've just gotten the impression in the past that, well... No, it doesn't really matter! Sheepy: Aru: Anyway, I'm looking forward to it! Sheepy: Aru: Oh, I could show you a cafe, Arthur! ... Is it okay to take him outside, actually? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... That's a good question. I've always wanted to see ghosts, but that's as far as I got. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... He probably wouldn't be the weirdest thing on campus, but maybe the sword's the safest bet. I dunno. Sheepy: Aru: Wouldn't a sword look suspicious? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's Halloween week. Who cares? Sheepy: Aru: Oh...! You're right! Okay, so I'll just bring him in the sword! Sheepy: Aru: You don't mind, right, Arthur? Sheepy: Aru: By the way, just so you know, this is actually a school! Instead of only certain figures knowing how to read and write, basically everyone does now. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Everyone can? That's a major improvement. Sheepy: Aru: I don't want to say everyone, because, um... Sheepy: Grif:....I'm learning. Arsé-kun: *Kay makes a disgruntled face at Aru in the background. I forgot he was there* Sheepy: Aru: I-I didn't say anything! Arsé-kun: Merlin: .. Hey, wait, I just got a stupid idea! Sheepy: Aru: What is it? Arsé-kun: *Merlin gets up from the table and runs out. He comes back with a broom. Kay stares at him* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, you're cleaning up after yourself for once! How wonderful! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm not gonna broom up a cereal bowl!!! Sheepy: Bedi: How disappointing... Sheepy: Aru: What's it for? Sheepy: Aru:........ Arsé-kun: Merlin: I may have miscalculated but the idea is solid! Sheepy: Aru: Oh...! Oh I should be clapping, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Save that for when I manage more than assflooring myself. Sheepy: Aru: I have a feeling based on what I've heard about Misyr he probably doesn't know how to do it either, so he might be useless for that. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What'd you hear? You wanna share? Sheepy: Aru: Ummm.. how to put it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What I know is he can't heal and I'm pretty sure his phone is fucked. Sheepy: Aru: Myrrdin warned me about a few of the Merlins when he met me and Misyr was one of them. Something about being a "cheating liar to his very core" and "having a complete makeover to hide something dark residing within him". Sheepy: Aru:...Although, he's so critical about everyone! What a stiff guy! Arsé-kun: Merlin: So he went to hot topic? Sheepy: Aru: Maybe! Sheepy: Aru: Myrrdin didn't really add any details to that, but it might be a "you darn kids, stop dyeing your hair with your newfangled dyes!" deal. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's only purple. Malleus' is blue. Arsé-kun: *fou has gotten onto the broom and is now licking his paws. fou 1 merlin 0* Sheepy: Aru: Blue? Is that a natural hair color? Arsé-kun: Merlin: As far as I'm aware! Sheepy: Aru: Maybe Merlins prematurely go white and hide it with hair dye. Arsé-kun: Merlin: uh. *has white hair* Sheepy: Aru: Do you plan to hide it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: No? I like my hair the way it is! Sheepy: Aru: Oh. Okay. Sheepy: Aru: By the way, Merlin. I know it's a silly question, but what do you intend to do with your powers when you become a fully fledged wizard? Help others? Disappear into a world of your own in pursuit of knowledge? Hide your identity to fit in with society? I want to know. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Woah, woah, hold up! I haven't even finished college yet and you're asking me about that?! Sheepy: Aru: Well, it's something to think about. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We get there when we get there! But not now! Sheepy: Aru: Really? I think about it a lot... but okay! Arsé-kun: Kay: You're like five, stop having existential crisises. It makes me look bad. Sheepy: Aru: You can have an existential crisis too! By the way, when are we going? Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't ask me. I'm not in the magic club. Sheepy: Aru: Well, Merlin could answer. Arsé-kun: Merlin: As soon as I figure this out. *he puts a leg over the broom and gives it a second try. He stays on this time!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, we can go! Sheepy: Aru: *clap, clap* Good job! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Thank you, thank you! Balance is still important! Sheepy: Aru: Yes! Sheepy: *They head to the cafe!* Arsé-kun: *Merlin falls off the broom several times on the way, but that's okay! It's a learning experience. Do not roll the broom when turning.* Sheepy: Misyr: --Ahaha, I have no clue what you're talking about! Arsé-kun: Watson: Yes you do. Cut the crap. Sheepy: Misyr: Isn't being able to blow up the sun enough credentials for being a demon king? Arsé-kun: Watson: That isn't exactly a demonic trait. Sheepy: Misyr: What do you think I am, then? Arsé-kun: Watson: I don't know, but not that. Sheepy: Misyr: And if you're wrong? Arsé-kun: Watson: Then I'm wrong. Sheepy: Misyr: Then wrong you are! Arsé-kun: Watson: Okay, then what ring of Hell do you hail from? Sheepy: Misyr:........ Sheepy: Misyr: Demons don't all come from Hell! Arsé-kun: Watson: Okay, so Judeo-Christianity is off the list. Sheepy: Misyr: Ahahaha.... Arsé-kun: Watson: .. Oh, your grandkid is here. We'll continue this later. Sheepy: Misyr: Nah, he's messing around in some casino. Arsé-kun: Merlin: One of us works in a casino?? Sheepy: Misyr: Maximillion, my grandson. Lucky number seven. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Is he a nerd? That sounds like a nerd name. I respect it. Sheepy: Misyr: Ehhh... Not really. The big nerd is 10. Mint. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So I'm closer to the nerd.. Sheepy: Misyr: Yup! Sheepy: Misyr: He's incredibly gullible. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nice... Oh, right! Look! Sheepy: Misyr: What's up? Arsé-kun: *Merlin gestures to the broom he hasn't gotten off of* Sheepy: Misyr: Good job! Arsé-kun: *Fou is still proudly sitting on the front of it. Fou's day out* Sheepy: Misyr: What's that? Arsé-kun: Merlin: This is Fou! He's Bedi's cat. Bastard. Sheepy: Misyr: A cat? Really? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm not gonna challenge it! Arsé-kun: Fou: Mrrp? Sheepy: Misyr: Nine loves cats. Sheepy: Misyr:... I haven't really met them, though! I just use social media sometimes! Sheepy: Misyr: We should show Mewlin. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Mewlin... Sheepy: Aru: Mewlin...? And Cat Mint? Sheepy: Misyr: The cat references end there, because unfortunately Mint indirectly put the worst Merlin into existence by being his grandpa. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Worse than blowing things up? Sheepy: Misyr: I keep deleting his tweets because I love humanity and don't want to see it suffer. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... So really bad? Sheepy: Misyr: Yeah. Huge flirt. I wouldn't be surprised if 10... Mint ended up with a succubus or his kid ended up with an incubus and it resulted in 11. Sheepy: Misyr: Like I said, I haven't really met most of the family, so don't quote me on that! He just seems like a huge creep based on his tweets. Sheepy: Misyr: Oh, right, did you need something? Arsé-kun: Merlin: lesson Sheepy: Misyr: ...Oh, I forgot about that! Arsé-kun: Merlin: But can I bring my student too? Sheepy: Misyr: No problem. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Great! Aru, where'd you go? Sheepy: Aru: I'm still here. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Aight, cool! Sheepy: Aru: I was just watching over Arthur. He doesn't know any of what's in here, I think... Sheepy: Misyr:....? Arthur? Sheepy: Aru: He's my ghost friend. Arsé-kun: *Merlin gets into his seat and starts scrolling mobile twitter while he waits.* Sheepy: Aru: Arthur, when you hit this button, coffee comes out! ...Oh, do you know what coffee is? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I do not. Sheepy: Aru: It's, umm... Sheepy: Aru: It's a drink made of beans. Sheepy: Aru: And the beans are poisonous to bugs, but the poison makes humans really alert and energetic. Caffeine! Caffeine's in tea and chocolate, too! Sheepy: Aru: People use it to stay up all night or wake up in the morning, but it's really bitter, so I wouldn't drink it! Sheepy: Aru:....But how did knights wake up early and work late without coffee, I wonder...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: The same way you do. By simply doing so. Sheepy: Aru: So Teacher made you get up, too... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Of course. Best to start early in the morning. Sheepy: Aru: College students don't think so. Arsé-kun: Arthur: They seem to be busy even at night, so I would understand the frustration. Sheepy: Misyr: Ghost... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wild, ain't it? I kinda wanna bust out some of my cheap equipment and see if it actually works. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Right, the lesson! Teach me, gramps! Sheepy: Misyr: Oh, yes! Let's start! Sheepy: *Misyr starts the lesson!* Arsé-kun: *Arthur stops investigating to watch this. He's mostly watching Misyr* Sheepy: *Misyr seems to be slowly getting more and more uncomfortable...* Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Is my presence bothering you, sir? My apologies. Sheepy: Misyr: Ahaha... no, but is there something on my face? Arsé-kun: Arthur: No. I wanted to see how you taught in comparison to Merlin the first. I reckon you are far easier to follow along with. Sheepy: Misyr: Well, that's more because you're a good student! Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... I will not answer that for my own dignity. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Has anyone told you that you have a strange aura before? Sheepy: Misyr:...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Or perhaps that is due to your demonic nature.. I would not know. Sheepy: Misyr: Uh...Yeah, that must be it! Sheepy: Misyr: Demon lords feel really different! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I see. Do go on. Sheepy: Misyr: Like... did you know that we can cause a flood from our pure sadness alone? Arsé-kun: Arthur: That is distressing. Sheepy: Misyr: Aahahaha! Just wait until I blow up a local volcano from joy! Sheepy: Misyr: Just don't count on me to heal anyone. We're forces of destruction! Someone like me couldn't help anyone. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, like how you blew up that Colour back in Aggy's kitchen! You sure exploded it! Sheepy: Misyr: Yes, yes, that's what I'm good at! Ahahaha! ... Eh, but I'd really recommend being good at more than just destroying things! Really, there's no happiness to be gained from such a limited skill set! Arsé-kun: *Meanwhile! Kay has decided, since even Fou has left, that he can clean the goddamn house for once. Finally.* Sheepy: *Grif is watching him very closely.* Sheepy: Grif: ... I can break things so you don't run out of things to clean. Arsé-kun: Kay: *he stops* I'd kick your ass if you did. Sheepy: Grif: Try me. I'm strong. ... Wait, no, that's not how I'm supposed to respond, is it... Arsé-kun: Kay: You'd snap me in half like a goddamn twig. I'd probably thank you for it. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Do you like being snapped in half? Arsé-kun: Kay: No. I don't like dying the way you do. Sheepy: Grif: I don't like dying. Sheepy: Grif: It just is part of my job. As I get better at my job, I will be stronger, but simultaneously so will my enemies. Thus, there'll always be something out there that can and will kill me. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... I'm gonna keep making fun of you for it, but I'll apologize eventually. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Sheepy: Grif: Is it funny? Arsé-kun: Kay: Because it's so fucked. Sheepy: Grif: It doesn't bother me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, yeah. *he goes back to dusting* It's normal for you. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. It has to be, so it isn't normal for anyone else. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... That's true. Fine, sorry. Sheepy: Grif: There's no need to apologize. It doesn't bother me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, but I'm bitching at you about it, so that's on me. Just. Not in front of me, ya hear? Sheepy: Grif: I will only die when I know you won't see it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, cool. Sheepy: Grif: I will increase my stealth skill... I am sure stealth dying is on the list of skills somehow. Tomorrow should give a good bonus to Stealth. Sheepy: Grif: I will be in costume, thereby hiding my identity. Stealthy. Sheepy: Grif: I am looking forward to it. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's in two days, dipshit. Sheepy: Grif: Eh? Two? Sheepy: Grif: Unfortunate. I'll train another skill today. Sheepy: Grif: Kay, teach me to do what you're doing. Arsé-kun: Kay: Cleaning?? Are you sure? You can't break anything. Arsé-kun: Kay: Absolutely not. Fuck you. Sheepy: Grif: Try it, try it. You'll get 1 Brawling XP by smashing things. It is miniscule and barely worth it, but it exists. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Arsé-kun: *Kay picks up a wrapping paper tube he intended to throw out, and bonks Grif with it. 1xp gained* Sheepy: Grif: Yes. That's the way. Sheepy: Grif: It's important to have a little bit of Brawling skill. Arsé-kun: Kay: Checks out. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, if you show me, I won't break anything. Intentionally. Sheepy: Grif: I can't promise I won't unintentionally. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fine, but I'm gonna bully you into lifting things for me. Sheepy: Grif: I am strong. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck, you sure are. Sheepy: Grif: I can lift things. Arsé-kun: *With the combined power of Kay's ability to clean and Grif's ability to lift heavy objects, the dorm gets cleaned! Hooray!* Sheepy: *Grif is pleased with himself!* Arsé-kun: *Kay is also pleased!* Sheepy: Grif: Dad is not good at things like this. Nor am I. Arsé-kun: Kay: I see this. Sheepy: Grif: That's why I'll learn from you. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, it looks nice now. Thank you. Sheepy: Grif: By the way, did you know? The barrier is weakest around now. Make sure to stay safe. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's so goddamn ominous, but like hell if I didn't know, thanks! Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. I will protect you as best as I can. Sheepy: *Elyan is watching the two.* Sheepy: Elyan: *Merlin voice* Hewwwoo!!! It's clean!! Arsé-kun: *Kay stares at Elyan* Sheepy: Elyan:..... Sheepy: Grif:....Uh... Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, it's clean, so don't you make a mess! Sheepy: Elyan: Woooww!!! Messy!! Sheepy: *Elyan spreads his tail out! Shake, shake, shake, shake- he left a feather on the floor! You found 1x Peacock(?) feather!* Sheepy: Grif: He just said not to do that... Arsé-kun: *Kay picks it up and puts it in the trash* Sheepy: *The feather looked like an imitation made by someone who didn't know what a peacock was past a few sightings anyway.* Sheepy: Elyan: Gift... trash! You did it! Arsé-kun: Kay: Sure did. I said no messes and you made one! Arsé-kun: *Kay starts taking the trash bag out of the can and tying it shut. The final step* Sheepy: Elyan: *he spreads his wings out. menacing* Bazinga! Arsé-kun: Kay: *deadpan* Penner, delete system 32. Bazongos. Sheepy: Elyan:? ... Arsé-kun: Kay: Ask Merlin, you shit bird. Sheepy: Elyan: *Slightly squeaky Kay imiration* Bazongos! Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, now say fuck Sheepy: Elyan: *he's back to his Merlin imitation* Vavoom! Arsé-kun: Kay: 2/10, bird doesn't curse. Sheepy: Elyan: Gift! Take it, bird! *he drops another feather* Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, fine! God, I see where you got this from, you stupid puddle. *Kay picks up the feather and leaves briefly to put it in his room* Sheepy: Grif: Puddle... I heard that he was originally found in a fountain. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe fountains are like dorm rooms for water. There's schools of fish, so maybe he attended? Sheepy: Grif: But I was told he has very little intelligence and just imitates others. So maybe not. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why would fish live in fuckin' fountains? Sheepy: Grif: Why do humans go on vacation? Sheepy: Grif: To see sights they usually don't see. Arsé-kun: *Kay looks confused by this* Sheepy: Grif: Fish don't see fountains usually, so they'd vacation there. Maybe. Arsé-kun: Kay: how Sheepy: Grif: How? Sheepy: Grif: They'd just walk there... Arsé-kun: Kay: Fish can't walk, asshole! Sheepy: Grif: How did fish get into almost all bodies of water, then? Arsé-kun: Kay: They always lived there?? Sheepy: Grif: There was a time before fish. Some of those bodies of water may have been manmade, too. Therefore, the fish must have been put there somehow. Sheepy: Grif: Meaning... fish could very easily live in a fountain. Arsé-kun: Yog: .... Fish were the earliest animals on the planet. Humans did not exist yet. Dragons did not exist yet. I did, but that is not relevant. Sheepy: Grif: Wrong. There was something before. Arsé-kun: Yog: Lesser-celled organisms. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... Arsé-kun: Yog: And many of them evolved into fish. Sheepy: Grif: But if fish came before manmade bodiesof water, there is no way they should be able to be in them. But...they are. Sheepy: Grif: So clearly they got there somehow. Sheepy: Grif: They either walked or someone put them there. Arsé-kun: Yog: Humans can relocate fish. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. So then it'd be perfectly logical for fish to be in a fountain. Arsé-kun: Yog: Fountains are for design more than survivability of whatever is living inside. Sheepy: Grif:..... Arsé-kun: Kay: Here, hold this. *he hands Grif a tied-shut trashbag, and slings the other over his own shoulder* Sheepy: Grif: *he takes it* Thank you for this gift. I will treasure it. Arsé-kun: Kay: No, stupid, it's trash. We're gonna get rid of it. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... And didn't you say those colours eat anything? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: We can feed them. Arsé-kun: Kay: If they eat trash, then it leaves no trash behind and it feeds them. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Great idea. Let's do it. Sheepy: Grif: I have heard feeding ducks is a good bonding experience. Just imagine they're ducks. Okay? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm glad you liked the idea. *kay is pleased* Sheepy: Grif: It's a bonding experience. Let's go, let's go. Arsé-kun: Kay: Lets. You take the lead. Sheepy: *Grif heads out to where the colors are!* Arsé-kun: *Kay follows him* Sheepy: Grif: We're here. I hope they like it. Arsé-kun: Kay: You toss them in. I don't think I could. Sheepy: Grif: Right. *He tosses the bags of trash over the wall! Yeet!* Arsé-kun: Kay: And that's that. If it gets the Colours to leave, then we get to explore it. If it doesn't, whatever. Sheepy: Shuu: What are you two even talking about... No, it doesn't matter. It likes trash, huh? So it should like this. Sheepy: Grif: It's a veggie bowl. They give good stat bonuses. Arsé-kun: Kay: Shut up for a moment, Grif. Arsé-kun: Kay: And yeah, you don't wanna know. But if you wanna throw your trash over it, go nuts. Sheepy: Shuu: If I slip it to you two without anyone seeing, I can still claim I ate it. Sheepy: Grif: If you eat a veggie bowl regularly, you can toss it up without my help. Sheepy: Grif:...Ha. Ha. Ha. No. It gives DEF and HP. Not STR. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Hmm. Nope. Sheepy: Shuu: How merciless of you. Sheepy: Shuu: Leaving me with this wretched thing... Arsé-kun: Kay: Sucks. Sheepy: Grif: Veggie bowls can be eaten with Sauce for extra stat points. Sheepy: Shuu: If you think it's so great, you can eat it. Sheepy: Grif: No. It's not my food. Sheepy: Shuu: Ugh. This was useless. Maybe I can conveniently accidentally drop it near some squirrels. Arsé-kun: Kay: Can't help with that, emo man. Good fuckin' luck. Sheepy: Shuu: I'll make my luck. Sheepy: *Shuu heads off to find someone to dump the salad on.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Well, that's that. Sheepy: *The two head back!* Sheepy: Crow: *he's inhaling a salad!* Arsé-kun: *Kay doesn't pay it mind. None of his damn business* Sheepy: Crow: *in between bites* You're not gonna believe this! Just when I was thinking about how hungry I was, that obnoxious sparkling creep gave me a salad! Hah! He must've realized how great I was!! Arsé-kun: ?: He must not have wanted it. Sheepy: Crow: Is that why it's so warm...? Sheesh, what am I?! A walking trash bin?! Arsé-kun: ?: Yes. Arsé-kun: *Kay glances back, wondering if Crow meant Shuu* Sheepy: Crow: That creep's gonna pay! ...Ouch! You aren't supposed to agree! Arsé-kun: ?: Hm, hm. That is tragic. Arsé-kun: ?: But did you... You know. Sheepy: Crow: Well, no, but now I'm gonna! Arsé-kun: ?: Then go do it. I will take my targets, you take yours. Sheepy: Crow: I've got a feeling I know where he is! ...Just don't tell Rom! Arsé-kun: ?: As if I speak to anyone here. Sheepy: Crow: You speak to not just anyone... you speak to the great Crow!! Arsé-kun: ?: ... You're also a fool along with being a trash bin. Sheepy: Crow: Ouch!!! Arsé-kun: *Kay has stopped and leaned on a tree to absolutely not eavesdrop on this interesting conversation* Sheepy: *Crow tosses his empty salad container in the correct trash bin* Arsé-kun: ?: Good work. One day you'll remember to sort souls that well too. Sheepy: Crow: They're all cattle, so it doesn't really matter! Arsé-kun: ?: It does matter... Sheepy: Crow: They're all going to the same place, right? So it's okay to eat your peas with your carrots! Same goes for souls. Arsé-kun: ?: .... They're absolutely not. Please leave before I reap you too. Sheepy: Crow: Scary!! Okay, I'm going, I'm going!!! Sheepy: Crow: *he rushes off to the Delinquent Club* Arsé-kun: *Kay raises an eyebrow before deciding to leave. He misses the other man turning his head almost completely 180° to stare at him. Thankfully.* Arsé-kun: *Kay gets home fine, and immediately makes a point to bother Grif once he puts last-minute groceries away* Arsé-kun: *ELSEWHERE* Sheepy: *Crow kicks the door open and poses* A miracle born in a wavering moment clad in crimson scarlet... CROW! Has arrived! Arsé-kun: Pink: That's a weird bird! Arsé-kun: *Lance has a cardiac arrest in the bg* Sheepy: Shuu: It's just Corn. Ignore him and he'll go away. Sheepy: Crow: Bare your cattle soul to me, punk! You treated the great Crow like a trash can, so that's where you're gonna go!! Arsé-kun: Mngwa: Do trashcans usually have bangin' capes? Sheepy: Crow: No! At least SOMEONE agrees my outfit is cool!! Sheepy: *Crow summons Red Tomahawk to his hand!* Sheepy: *Crow suddenly lunges at Shuu and hits him with Red Tomahawk before he can react! No visible damage was lift, but... poof! Shuu's a blond!* Arsé-kun: Mngwa: Okay, what the FUCK was that?! Sheepy: Clover: ...What did you just... do? Arsé-kun: Ignis: I don't think it's free dye jobs! *he gets up and blocks Il* Sheepy: Crow:...? Sheepy: Crow: No! I did my job! Sheepy: Crow: But usually that doesn't happen... Sheepy: Il: Oh. I suppose that even after almost all angels have fallen, the angel of death would still be around. What a hard worker Sheepy: Crow: I'm a fallen angel!! Get it right! Sheepy: Il:....? Arsé-kun: Ignis: He SAID fallen already! Did you kill Shuu?! Sheepy: Crow: Huh? Arsé-kun: Ignis: You hard of hearing?? Did you? Kill our foxy man? Sheepy: Crow: Oh, I hope so! He's been dodging us for a while! Man... I'm gonna look SO cool to all the reapers!! Fallen Angel: 1, Reaper: 0!! Sheepy: Il: But you are not fallen. Arsé-kun: *Crow is shot by a paintball gun courtesy of Mngwa. He might not be Dr. Jack, but...* Arsé-kun: Mngwa: You come into our goddamn house and do this?? Sheepy: Crow: Owowow!! Sheepy: Crow: Man, you guys are jerks! This stinks! I'm going home! Arsé-kun: Mngwa: Clover, permission to open on full auto?? Sheepy: Clover: Go ahead. Arsé-kun: *Mngwa picks up and mounts an even bigger paintball gun on the railing. Rattatattatattta* Sheepy: Crow: Hyeeeek!! That HURTS!!! Sheepy: *Crow turns tail and starts to flee!* Sheepy: Shuu: He's running away ⭐️ Too bad ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Pink: You're aliiiiive! Sheepy: Shuu: Ahahaha, it's really cold ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Ignis: .... I'll fetch the bastard. You guys get ready to pummel. Sheepy: Il: Pummel? Why? He is doing his job. Arsé-kun: Ignis: We're delinquents. We're gonna ruin his day. Sheepy: Il: Oh, I see! I will get to witness true delinquents before my very eyes...! Wonderful! Sheepy: Il: Good luck on your chase. Arsé-kun: *Ignis gives Il a thumbs up, and runs out* Sheepy: *Crow is running as fast as he can!* Arsé-kun: *Ignis is hot on his tail, literally.* Sheepy: Crow: B-Boooosss!!! Where are you?! I need help!! Arsé-kun: Kay: --- There, that's the guy! You know him, Grif? Sheepy: Grif: No. Arsé-kun: Kay: Huh, do we step in? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Go gettem, Grif! Arsé-kun: *Ignis takes advantage of this and throws himself at Crow as well!* Sheepy: *Crow barely stumbles out of the way!* Arsé-kun: *Ignis eats dirt facefirst. Graceful* Sheepy: Crow: Boooosss!! BOOOOSSS!! Arsé-kun: *No one is coming to save you* Sheepy: Crow: Uhhh...uhhh...! You can't hit me! You'd be defying death! Which, which... it's against the law! No punching me when I'm on the job! Sheepy: Grif: I don't care about the law. Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif can't die anyway! *he's cheering Grif on from over there* He always comes back! Sheepy: Crow: Wh-what!? No fair... Sheepy: Crow: I don't get it! I don't beat you up for doing what you do! So why beat me up?! Sheepy: Crow: And if I hit you guys, it'll be dealing with you prematurely! This stinks! Arsé-kun: Ignis: Because he ain't goin' yet! He's still alive! Sheepy: Crow: But he's on my list and has been for a while! Sheepy: Crow: If you leave me alone, I'll give you my autograph later, okay?! Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Okay, how about this. Keep anyone else you got, but put this one back. At least wait until he's physically dying to do it?? Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: B...but... Arsé-kun: Kay: People don't just drop dead for no goddamn reason. Sheepy: Crow:..... Arsé-kun: Kay: You can't be bitched at if you snipe a man when it's appropriate! Arsé-kun: *Ignis gives Kay a death glare. Kay flips him off* Sheepy: Crow: Boss is gonna be so disappointed...! Arsé-kun: Kay: Tragic. Get a sense of timing. Sheepy: Crow: Where? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Grif, this is what you sound like sometimes. Sheepy: Grif: Wrong. He's worse. Arsé-kun: Kay: Harsh! Sheepy: Crow: Ouch...! Arsé-kun: *Ignis squints and sniffs the air before looking around. Who is coming?* Sheepy: *Shuu has arrived! He's slowly approaching, stumbling and shaking all over. His eyes look lifeless...* Arsé-kun: Ignis: ..! Sheepy: Shuu: Okay ⭐️ Fun's over, give it back ⭐️ Sheepy: Crow: E...EH?? You're supposed to be all dead and stuff! You guys have been bullying me for no reason! Arsé-kun: Kay: ... I have no idea what's happening now. Sheepy: Grif: I see. We involved ourselves in a confusing situation. Arsé-kun: Yog: *from Paimon* This is indirectly my fault, but I am not apologizing. Sheepy: Grif: Did you revive him? Arsé-kun: Yog: Quite the opposite. I tried to have him killed for breaching an important rule. I still have not found that hound. Sheepy: Crow: B-b-bOOOOSSS!! There's a DEAD GUY!! He's walking TOWARDS ME!! Sheepy: Grif: I see. He cheated death and now he's being punished. Arsé-kun: Yog: This was one of the rare instances of my hounds losing. I genuinely do not know what happened. Sheepy: Shuu: Give it back ⭐️ Arsé-kun: *Very distant car horn* Sheepy: Crow: BOSS!! Sheepy: *Crow starts fleeing towards the car horn!* Arsé-kun: Ignis: Oh no you don't!! *he hauls ass after Crow... on all fours. This is somehow FASTER* Sheepy: Crow: NONONONO!!! Sheepy: *Shuu doesn't pursue them very far. His stumbling finally results in him collapsing to his knees.* Sheepy: *Crow suddenly whips around and aims to hit Ignis (non-lethally) with Red Tomahawk! It's back!* Arsé-kun: *Ignis goes flying! He ends up slamming into a building before dropping to the ground. Critical hit.* Sheepy: *Crow uses this window of opportunity to try to get to the car!* Arsé-kun: *He can see the headlights! He can see the car!* Arsé-kun: *...He can see Rom's fist inches from his face!* Sheepy: Crow: E-EEHH?! Arsé-kun: Rom: ABSOLUTELY NOT! Sheepy: *Fist, meet Crow's face! He's launched, doing a few somersault before finally stopping. He's in the traditional butt-in-the-air death pose. Oof.* Arsé-kun: *The loud CRACK on impact was probably not good, but Rom ignores it in favor of stomping over and stealing the lunchbox.* Sheepy: Crow: W-why my face?! *he lifts his head. his nose is bleeding...* That hurt!! Arsé-kun: Rom: Because I know you hate it. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah, 'cuz it HURTS!! Arsé-kun: Rom: I've told you not to mess with Shuu! Several times! Sheepy: Crow: But my list! Arsé-kun: Rom: Over my dead body! Sheepy: Crow: Yours...? Arsé-kun: Rom: Yeah, sure! I've got time! Sheepy: Crow: But I don't wanna see you die... I'd cry! Arsé-kun: Rom: It'll happen. Now if you don't mind. *he opens the lunchbox to let the soul out* Sheepy: *It quickly makes its way to Shuu!* Arsé-kun: *Kay stayed put with Shuu, so he sees this* Sheepy: Shuu: My hero ⭐️ ... I was really cold without that, you know! Arsé-kun: Kay: .... So you're good now? Sheepy: Shuu: "Good" is an overstatement. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Don't sass me, blondie. You're gonna live? Sheepy: Shuu: I always do. Sheepy: Crow: Tough words from a guy who used me like a trash can! Sheepy: Crow: Eat your own food next time! Arsé-kun: Rom: Go home, Crow. I'll see you at lunch tomorrow. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? You're still gonna be my friend? Arsé-kun: Rom: I punched you for your crime. We're even. Sheepy: Crow: *he whimpers before suddenly hugging Rom* *sob* You're the best friend anyone could ask for!! Arsé-kun: Rom: ... *he sighs* I'm glad to hear it. Now please go home. Sheepy: Crow: I need my lunchbox back first! Arsé-kun: Rom: ..... Right. *rom gives it back* Sheepy: Crow: I'll see you tomorrow, Rom, Shuu! Don't miss me too much! Bye! *he heads back to the car* Sheepy: *Crow enters the car.* Arsé-kun: *The other reaper gets back in and drives off. The license plate reads "θænətɒs". How'd he get those weird letters on there??* Sheepy: Shuu: ... That’s a new one. He got me ⭐️ I need to up my game. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Y'know what? This isn't the weirdest shit I've ever seen. So that's normal for you, that's unusual but I get it. Sheepy: Shuu: When you make bad decisions, you get to deal with the consequences. Sheepy: Shuu: I can’t go back⭐ Arsé-kun: Kay: .. On campus, you sass-squatch. Sheepy: Shuu: I’d like that, but Rom seems in more desperate straits. Sheepy: Grif: ... By the way. Have we seen him somewhere before? Arsé-kun: *Rom is pacing, tightly grasping his Crow-punching hand and grimacing* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Yeah, we saw him when we threw out the trash. Sheepy: Shuu: Rom, Rom ⭐️ Let’s go to the hospital together ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Rom: ...! Sheepy: Grif: No, that was a different guy. Arsé-kun: Rom: I'd like that... Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, you moron, his hair was a different color. Sheepy: Grif: Amazing. Humans can change it so quickly... Arsé-kun: *Kay stares at Grif* Sheepy: Shuu: Okay, let’s get going then ⭐️ *he unsteadily stands before stumbling over to Rom* Arsé-kun: *Rom tries to support him with his good hand* Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Humans don't have tails usually..! But okay, forget it. Sheepy: Grif: Then what’s the tailbone for? Arsé-kun: Kay: I have no idea. Ask Doc West next class. Sheepy: Grif: I’ll ask him many things. For example, the purpose of four ears. Arsé-kun: *In the far bg, Ignis has gone back to the club. He's okay!* Sheepy: *Il is especially happy!* Arsé-kun: Kay: .... I'm not sure if this was weirder than Glaaki or not. One's a giant space slug, this was literally death.. Arsé-kun: Yog: .... And with strange eons, even death may die. *Unhelpful!!!* Sheepy: Grif: For death, he seemed inexperienced. Maybe he’s new. Sheepy: Grif: If he was an experienced death, and maybe a more irritable death, none of us would have survived that. Sheepy: Grif: I heard on one of my quests that death [occupation] has had issues due to the off the path issues. It’s possible the others fell, quit, or died off, and we’re stuck with just him and the driver. Arsé-kun: Kay: So I'm absolutely gonna have a moral crisis when we get home, but let's not talk about that. Sheepy: Grif: Oh. Okay. Arsé-kun: Kay: Did you see how I stood up to him anyway?? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Very brave of you. Arsé-kun: *Kay is Pleased!* Sheepy: Grif: You did it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Put THAT on my adventurer's resume! Sheepy: Grif: There's a resume? Arsé-kun: Kay: If there was? Sheepy: Grif: I'll consider it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, lets go back home and stay there this fucking time. Sheepy: Grif: Right. Arsé-kun: *THEY GO HOME* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, you're home! Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm back! I sassed an angel. There was some other stuff but that's not important! Sheepy: Bedi: An angel? Arsé-kun: Kay: Some puny little man that made Aru look tall. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh... I see. You bullied the wrong short person. Arsé-kun: Kay: Actually, no! I got there with Grif by the end. Arsé-kun: Kay: May or may not have a new perspective on the concept of death as a whole, but that's still not outweirding the gigantic mind control slug. Sheepy: Grif: I watched a man smash his fist into the angel's face. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh yeah, and the man probably broke his hand. Sheepy: Grif: He was... very manly. Very cool... Arsé-kun: Kay: That got me a new insight, but I ain't sharing it with you around. Sheepy: Grif: I hope I can be that cool one day. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're not? Arsé-kun: *in the far bg, Merlin is stalking Fou and taking pictures to post to twidder. he's not listening to all this.* Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... it's not very cool to do things just because it's your job. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, to have the confidence to wear no shirt, even into a fight... Very cool. Arsé-kun: Kay: Starting to notice a trend here.. First Lot and Lance, now the catboy. Sheepy: Grif: They're all incredibly cool... Sheepy: Bedi:...catboy??? Sheepy: Grif: Oh, the angel he punched was a little lion, wasn't he? Arsé-kun: Kay: I dunno, he had leopard print on. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... So I gotta get ripped. ... ... Not happening. Sheepy: Grif: Leopard print... How many leopards did he fight to get that? Sheepy: Grif: They just shed their fur like a sheep, don't they? So maybe he just fought the same one many times. Sheepy: Bedi: Nothing about this feels right... Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Grif, go ask Merlin where leopard print clothes come from. I'm sure he'll be glad to stop what he's doing. Sheepy: Grif: Merlin, Merlin. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ...? What? I'm busy. Sheepy: Grif: Where do leopard print clothes come from? Sheepy: Bedi: He, um... was being sarcastic, I think! Arsé-kun: Kay: It's fine, gives us a moment. Arsé-kun: *Merlin sighs and explains- to the best of his ability- where fake leopard print comes from* Sheepy: Grif:?! Sheepy: Grif: A factory... Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Should we take this elsewhere? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, I think so. Arsé-kun: Kay: Aight. Sheepy: Grif: Merlin, let's rescue the leopards from the factory! Arsé-kun: *Kay opts to not help Merlin here.* Sheepy: Bedi: I'll follow you. Arsé-kun: *Kay goes into Bedi's room for some goddamn privacy in this house* Sheepy: *Bedi follows him* Arsé-kun: Kay: .... You got into a relationship, how flirt man Sheepy: Bedi: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: How do I approach a man with romantic intent? If I don't, I'm gonna just keep getting jealous. Sheepy: Bedi: I apologize for disappointing you, but... Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin did all of the work. I was oblivious to all of it. I am still oblivious to most of his flirting. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Right, you've never done a day of work on that in your life. Sheepy: Bedi: Ahaha... Well, I have no skill in that department. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't know till you try. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes... I guess the only ideas I have are being clear with what you're asking and not doing anything too flashy. Arsé-kun: Kay: And this is Grif, so I gotta take that more seriously. Sheepy: Bedi: If it helps any... I think you have time. Sheepy: Bedi: I think you're probably unique in terms of being attracted to him. Arsé-kun: Kay: I hate the way that sounds, but you're right. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's clear that being stupid and doing stupid things for his attention is only kind of working. And I can't get flowers because he'll eat them! Sheepy: Bedi: Good luck! You'll need it. Sheepy: Bedi: Gifts he'd like... Sheepy: Bedi: He likes rocks, right? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, but that wouldn't get any messages across. Sheepy: Bedi: True... Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean, I could just ask him. Sheepy: Bedi: You could! Sheepy: Bedi: There's nothing to lose, right? If he says no, he says no. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Uh. Yeah. Of course. Sheepy: Bedi:...? Sheepy: Bedi: Well, I'm rooting for you! Arsé-kun: Kay: Thanks, bud. *he nods* I'll do my best. Sheepy: Bedi: Of course! Arsé-kun: Kay: Now lets make sure Grif didn't drag Merlin out. Sheepy: *Bedi exits into the main room* Arsé-kun: *Kay follows him out* Sheepy: *Grif is dragging Merlin outthe door.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, please! Not now!! Sheepy: Grif: We need to! Arsé-kun: Merlin: There's no leopards, so what's the point?! Sheepy: Grif: They have to be getting the leopard fur somewhere! Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's not real! It's patterned fabric, I told you this..!! Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Should we help him? Sheepy: Bedi: It's too late now. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Bedi?! Sheepy: Bedi: I'll miss you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Bedi?!? Sheepy: Bedi: But I can't stop him. Sheepy: Grif: There must be a reference leopard! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm not doing this at night..! No way! Sheepy: Grif: I see. Arsé-kun: *Kay just salutes and presses X to pay respects* Sheepy: Grif: When does it stop being night... Sheepy: Grif:... 5 am. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You're not waking me at 5 am on a Saturday either!!!! Sheepy: Grif: We have to! Sheepy: Grif: For the leopards! Sheepy: Bedi: Grif, do you know what a factory is? Sheepy: Grif: No, but it doesn't matter! Arsé-kun: Kay: There probably isn't any leopards, but go ham. Have fun! Don't let the shitwizard get hurt cuz Bedi WILL annihilate you! Sheepy: Bedi:...Okay, good luck finding one, then! Sheepy: Grif: I will protect Merlin. Okay, we're going now. Arsé-kun: *Merlin recognizes his thrown-under-the-bus status, and reluctantly accepts his new role as party mage. He does not look happy about it.* Sheepy: Bedi: I'll make it up to you later, okay? Arsé-kun: Merlin: You owe me one, babe! *fingergun* Arsé-kun: *Yog gives Grif a quest notif. He understands the current situation.* Sheepy: Grif: *he drags Merlin out the door.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Is that how it looks when I get dragged out? Sheepy: Bedi: Slightly less bad, but yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: I need to work on that. But okay, we both look like we're on the same page, huh? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, what did you want to make? Arsé-kun: Kay: Apple pie feels too easy, but I know it's a solid hit. Sheepy: Bedi: He loves apples. It can work with ice cream, too, and he loves ice cream... Arsé-kun: Kay: But there's no way we got enough apples for something big. Sheepy: Bedi: Too bad. Arsé-kun: Kay: Hmmm. Well, we got time to think of something. Sheepy: Bedi: Right... And we can ask the group chat, too. Arsé-kun: Kay: Lost my phone. YOU can ask. Sheepy: Bedi: Right, I'll ask then. Sheepy: Bedi: *he pulls out his phone* Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] What should Kay and I bake? As a gift? Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] Recipient likes apples and ice cream. Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] gee, wonder who it is lol Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] you can make something for me too. as a treat Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] Me too! I want payment for my services under the bus! Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] Okay, Merlin. What do yoi want? Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] oh my name is lucan but I'd like your finest concoction thank you for asking Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] First I never wanna see grif eat a durian again, and also idk make lucan something and give me the bowl of whatevers left lmao Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] You don't have to eat leftovers. Arsé-kun: Lot: [chat] Given what we know of them, I doubt griflet would care all that much. You could just put apple slices on ice cream and he'd probably be happy. Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] Is that meaningful? Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] Maybe if we make them into cute shapes? Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] as Arsé-kun: Lot: [chat] Lucan is the culinary student here, and his input is clearly more valuable. Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] as much as I want to believe he'd see a meaning in this it's more likely he'd just eat it without thinking about its shape Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] you coild feed him food from the trash and he'd eat it lol he's like the family dog who bites hou for no reason Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] btw I didn't see grif eat the durian skin but I heard his voice ao I really just barely dodged that bullet Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] should i just ask him directly since hes out here and yall arent Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] unless you've left I'm here lol Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] Wouldn't that ruin the surprisr? Arsé-kun: Kay: You think he'd think about it that hard? Sheepy: Bedi:...No, Grif and thinking don't really go together. Arsé-kun: Kay: Except when he does. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes... true. Arsé-kun: Kay: But okay, get back on topic. Sheepy: Bedi: It's difficult to really come up with anything... heepy: Lucan: [chat] why not an apple cake or something? btw if you need durians just ask that obnoxious sparkly idol and if he decides you're wotyhy og his durians you might het onr Arsé-kun: Kay: Those exist?? Sheepy: Bedi: Apparently... Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean, it seems simple enough. Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] he claims yhey're souvenirs from his vacation. imagine buying durians as a souvenir Arsé-kun: Lance: [chat] imagine going on vacation Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] if we pull enough money together one or two of us could go on vacation Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] where though?! Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] ... I wonder where he goes on vacation Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] maybe he buys them at the store and calls them souvenirs just to mrss eitb peoplr Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] that's the level of shitpost I aspire to ngl Sheepy: Lucan: [chat]... he does always have them on hand... Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] maube his vacation is in the fruit aisle of the nearest supermarket LOL Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] shuzo's isle vacation. sorry, did I say isle? I meant aisle lololol Arsé-kun: *printer noises* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, you're printing it out! Arsé-kun: Kay: Hell yeah I am! Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] anyway How long to you guys need? This affects what I do next Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] An hour or so...? Maybe two at most? Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] Aight! I got an idea then. I'm gonna needta jump in the washing machine as soon as I'm done though looooool Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] spin me right round baby right round ~merlin in the washing machine Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] I WAS GONNA SAY THAT Sheepy: Bedi: [chat] That scares me. Sheepy: Lucan: [chat] I'm a mind reader...... Arsé-kun: *Kay is gathering supplies, preheating the oven, banning Fou from the oven* Sheepy: *Bedi joins Kay to help!* Arsé-kun: Kay: We got most of this, but do we have a greek yogie sitting around? Do any of us buy those? Sheepy: Bedi: I don't. Arsé-kun: Kay: I absolutely don't. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... And Merlin doesn't. Sheepy: Bedi: I don't think Grif buys things. Arsé-kun: Kay: So why do we have this? *he holds up a greek yogurt carton. it sure is there* Arsé-kun: *Fou investigates it* Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah she does, but I don't know if it's hers. Arsé-kun: Fou: Raow! *spit, spit* Fao! Sheepy: Bedi: ...? This is how he reacted to Yog. Sheepy: Bedi: So maybe Yog is making up for the ice cream he ate by giving us this yogurt. Sheepy: Bedi:...Is it safe for human consumption? I guess it doesn't matter with Grif. He'll eat it anyway... Arsé-kun: Kay: It's his dad, so it's probably fine... Sheepy: Bedi: I guess so. Sheepy: Bedi: Let's use it! Arsé-kun: Kay: We're gonna be out of caster sugar after this, but I think we're clear for everything else. Arsé-kun: Kay: Let's get this shit over with. Sheepy: Bedi: Right! Arsé-kun: *We skip to about an hour later. The cake is done, the last dishes are being washed,* Sheepy: *Grif enters!* Arsé-kun: Kay: Welcome back, moron, you bitch. Did you figure out fake leopard fur ain't made of leopard? Sheepy: Grif: The leopard I met told me as much, so I should believe him. Yes. Sheepy: Grif: We looked for a slug. We didn't find one. Sheepy: Grif: The leopard, however... so cool... ... Perhaps, to be cool, the answer is to combine kindness with muscles. Arsé-kun: Kay: What is it with you and muscles? Sheepy: Grif: It's something one must choose to strive for in order to have. Sheepy: Grif: Basically... it's a symbol of devotion to a goal. Arsé-kun: Kay: Huh. That's surprisingly insightful. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, uh. Um. *he faulters* Sheepy: Grif: I ate an artichoke fruit today. It was painful. Arsé-kun: Kay: Did you eat the skin again? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I didn't want to waste it. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're not supposed to eat that! You moron! Sheepy: Grif: Hm? But salad man gave it to me. He already offered me his salad only to be rejected. I couldn't reject his kindness a second time. Arsé-kun: Kay: The skin! You don't eat the skin of it! Sheepy: Grif: ....Hm...hmmm... Arsé-kun: Kay: I know something you CAN eat all of, but you'll have to wait! Sheepy: Grif: Really? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yes, really. Sheepy: Grif: Amazing... a skinless food... Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, no, but. Sheepy: Grif: Edible skin... Sheepy: Grif: Recently I discovered something horrible. Sheepy: Grif: I accidentally bent the top of a banana recently. It turns out, the yellow part is a covering that is meant to be removed. Sheepy: Grif: However, are bananas better with or without the shell...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Without. A hundred percent. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: I'll try it like that next time. Sheepy: Grif: I am looking forward to eating this food. Arsé-kun: Kay: I recommend it. You can eat bananas with ice cream and no one can stop you. Sheepy: Grif: Bananas... with ice cream... Arsé-kun: Kay: Ice cream sundae. I'm iffy on it, honestly, but it's up your alley. Man that'd been so much easier. Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: Nevermind! Sheepy: Grif: Oh. Alright. Arsé-kun: *Kay finishes up with the dishes* Sheepy: Grif: You did it. Arsé-kun: Kay: I cleaned them. Sheepy: Grif: Now it's everyone's collective duty to dirty them again. Arsé-kun: Kay: Not yet. Arsé-kun: Kay: In a few minutes. Sheepy: Grif: So soon? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Actually, it doesn't matter. It's up to you to use dishes. Arsé-kun: Kay: But okay! Anyway! Enough stalling for time! Sheepy: Grif: Uh, okay. Arsé-kun: *Kay opens the microwave and retrieves the cake that was hidden there. This gets placed in front of Griflet on the kitchen island. There's a blank card on it! He looks nervous.* Sheepy: Grif:...? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... I know you're gonna eat that card. At least look in it first. Sheepy: Grif: *He takes the card and opens it* Arsé-kun: *It's not English! It's runes!!* Arsé-kun: *Translated runes: DATE ME, MORON. ~Kay.* Sheepy: Grif: ....?! Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Is my handwriting bad? Sheepy: Grif: Uh... uh... *That's an unusual red tint to his face! He appears flustered...* Arsé-kun: *and Kay starts going red in turn. Now he's embarrassed too!* Sheepy: *... In a panic, he eats the card!* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... ...... Arsé-kun: Kay: .... There it is. Sheepy: Grif: It's good!!! Thank you!!!! Arsé-kun: Kay: You stupid idiot! You stupid, idiotic, hot dumbass! At least eat the goddamn cake before I shove your face into it! Sheepy: Grif:?! Arsé-kun: Kay: What, did you think we let you drag out Merlin without reason? No! We baked while you were gone! Bedi helped! Sheepy: Grif: I see... So the leopards were a lie all along... Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Today please! Sheepy: Grif: Well...! Sheepy: Grif: Are you sure? Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... Bitch, I literally only tolerated you at first because you were goddamn hot. Yes, I'm sure. Sheepy: Grif: Uh, uh... Arsé-kun: Kay: And after all the dumb stupid shit I did, purely for you? Yes, I am absolutely goddamn sure. Sheepy: Grif: Usually I'm supposed to have some sort of cool, memorable response... right? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Honestly, I kinda expected you to ignore me in favor of the cake. Sheepy: Grif: It smells good... Arsé-kun: Kay: It's apple cake, so you damn well know it's for you! Sheepy: Grif: I see. You put so much work into it... Sheepy: Grif: I need to work hard in return. Arsé-kun: Kay: Like you don't already? Sheepy: Grif: Eh... Sheepy: Grif: If I say yes, you won't regret it, will you? Arsé-kun: Kay: My only regrets so far are losing my phone and... Y'know, the time you came home gross. Sheepy: Grif:...Okay, then yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: !!! Arsé-kun: Kay: Hell yeah! Finally, I am free to say things! I can call you a dumb hot idiot now! Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Grif: I feel normal temperature. Arsé-kun: Kay: Attractive, I mean hot as in attractive. Sheepy: Grif: It's the power of high Charm. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's the power of having good looks despite being a bag of dumb rocks. Sheepy: Grif:....... Sheepy: Grif:...........*his attention has slowly turned back to the cake...* Arsé-kun: *Kay proceeds to place a duplicate card on it. He was ready* Sheepy: Grif:...It looks tasty. Arsé-kun: Kay: It better be..! We worked hard on this! Sheepy: Grif:...! For me...? Arsé-kun: Kay: For you. Sheepy: Grif:...! Arsé-kun: Kay: I considered adding some ice cream on top, but orb dad ate it all. Jerk. Arsé-kun: Kay: We noticed. Sheepy: Grif: I'd like to try some. Arsé-kun: Kay: Go ahead. That's what I'm still standing here for..! Sheepy: *Grif tries some!* Arsé-kun: *Kay stares expectantly* Sheepy: Grif:...It's good. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... *PHEW!* Sheepy: Grif: Thank you. Arsé-kun: Kay: You're welcome. Now can *he whips around to face the doorway* You fuckers stop eavesdropping?? Moral support's great but I ain't trusting a single one of yous! Sheepy: Bedi: My apologies. I was just thinking about the cake... Arsé-kun: *Merlin is furiously texting* Sheepy: *Il waves from the windowsill.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... I did not want to interrupt, good sirs. However, I see that relationship proposals are approximately the same as I knew them. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Even the ghost was watching. Arsé-kun: Kay: And who the hell let you in?! *at Il* Sheepy: Il: To see love with my own two eyes...! Incredible! Arsé-kun: Kay: You wanna see more? Bedi and Merlin are already a couple, so you should ask them stuff! Sheepy: Il:?! Sheepy: *Il looks expectantly at Merlin* Sheepy: Il: So many questions I want to ask... Sheepy: Grif:...Why is he here? Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he looks up from texting* I've got no idea! Sheepy: Bedi: He was looming outside the window and I was concerned he was going to fall. Sheepy: Bedi: The fact that he was peering in through a non-ground window did not occur to me until I let him in. How frightening... Arsé-kun: *Fou sniffs Il* Sheepy: Il: Good evening, mascot character. Sheepy: Grif: Surprisingly, the only one not eavesdropping is the one you'd expect the most. Arsé-kun: Kay: That is extremely ominous and not at all questionable. Arsé-kun: *Fou sits down next to Il. Il has been judged acceptable* Sheepy: Grif: I meant Aru. Sheepy: *Il pets Fou.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh. I thought you meant your parents. Sheepy: Grif: No, I'm sure Dad is eavesdropping. Arsé-kun: Kay: ....... Where the fuck is my sister? Sheepy: Il: I saw her complaining at the Angel of Death outside. Something about standing her up, and it being too late to hang out now. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... So you're telling me. The same midget angel I sassed earlier- That knew the fox and leopard prior- is also friends with my sister? Sheepy: Il: They are around the same age, I think, so it is no surprise. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... So anything else anyone wants to tell me before I sit down? Sheepy: Bedi: I can't come up with anything. Sheepy: Il: Is being a tsundere usually successful? Sheepy: Grif: What, do you want information related to death? Sheepy: Grif: Lobo is a hellhound. He's probably owned by one of the two reapers we saw today. Presumably, there's so much death on campus that it's easiest just to station Lobo here. Arsé-kun: Kay: ....... So I hate all of that. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I thought it was because of the ghosts! Sheepy: Grif: Maybe. I wouldn't know. Sheepy: Grif: If anyone would, it'd be the two reapers we saw tonight. Arsé-kun: Kay: So if my sister is with the little shitty angel, can someone ask through her about it? I still got no phone. Sheepy: Grif: I don't have her number. Sheepy: Il: She is outside with the him right now. You can join them. Arsé-kun: Kay: I ain't going out a third time. Sheepy: Il: Well, that is fine. Arsé-kun: *Arthur is markedly not volunteering his services* Sheepy: Grif: If you're desperate to find out, the buff man said he'd treat him to something at lunch tomorrow. Meaning, if you can find the buff man, you can find him. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then I gotta go hunting on a Saturday... Ah, fine. Sheepy: Grif: It could be a good learning experience about death. Arsé-kun: Kay: I think it's too early in my lifespan to even consider that. Sheepy: Grif: Well, alright. Arsé-kun: Merlin: People die when they are killed. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Il: I can confirm a few things, at least. Arsé-kun: Kay: But will you. Sheepy: Il: Lobo is not owned by the angel outside. It is not common practice for angels of death to use hellhounds in their work. He is one of the few remaining angels who have not fell, so I cannot see him having an affinity with them... Sheepy: Il: Lobo is banned from the hospital, but he seems attracted to it anyway. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Probably because people die in hospitals. Sheepy: Il: Yes, but I have never seen him reap a soul from the hospital... Arsé-kun: Kay: But who's the fuck with the white car that drove him around? The death angel, I mean. Sheepy: Il: White car? Sheepy: Il: Without another angel to teach him, a reaper may have felt bad for him and taken him under their wing. Sheepy: Il: In the equivalent of human ages, he looked to be 16 or 17. He would need this, because it was nowhere near time for him to take up the role. Arsé-kun: Kay: So watch out for the scary-feeling guy, gotcha. Sheepy: Il: Yes. Sheepy: Il: The other guy... the reaper probably has experience. Sheepy: Il: The angel is dangerous mostly due to lack of experience. However, in the event he were to do something unfavorable like he did tonight, as long as he is following his duties, well... I cannot do anything about him. Sheepy: Il: Meanwhile, the reaper... I could strike out, but is it right? Arsé-kun: Kay: Hmmm. Depends on what he's doing. Sheepy: Il: If he is reaping the soul of someone you care for, even if it is his job, you will never consider it right. The list will not matter anymore in this situation. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Yeah, that's true. Sheepy: Il: That is what caused the events tonight. Arsé-kun: Kay: But he was also still alive. I didn't even know the guy. Sheepy: Il: It was uncomfortable to watch. Especially when he offered us an early out. Sheepy: Il: Anyway, I feel as though people survive injuries they are not supposed to in the hospital. I have, on occasion, heard rumors that those unfortunate enough to wander off the path and get attacked will be visited during the night by a "short edgy man". Manipulating him can trick him into leaving, thus allowing you to survive another day. Sheepy: Il: I suppose we know who that is now... Arsé-kun: Kay: People survive dumb shit all the time. Exhibit A: me. Sheepy: Il: People survive incredible injuries all the time in otome games! Sheepy: Il: It is difficult to explain... Sheepy: Il: I am not able to fully grasp the resistance of a human. I am regularly being lectured because I apparently have caused great damage and nearly ended lives. Sheepy: Il: It is difficult to imagine them surviving monsters off of the path when they cannot survive me easily. Arsé-kun: Kay: I wanna say they vary, so it checks out. Sheepy: Il: Vary... Sheepy: *The next day...* Arsé-kun: -Saturday, October 30th- Arsé-kun: *Wilbur was TRYING to read, but there are so many noisy people here. It's bad enough Grif and his roommate are here, but the wizards are here too. Not to mention two of the musicians. Being Wilbur is suffering* Sheepy: Shuu: What, you want to know about Crow? What's there to tell? It's not like he hides anything. Everything there is to know about him, he flaunts. Arsé-kun: Kay: I see. That makes things a bit easier. Sheepy: Shuu: Meanwhile... it's much more profitable to be secretive ⭐️ Sheepy: Shuu: 16, hedgehog, singer and guitarist for SpinachCrumbleZ, an up and coming band that strives to be at the top. Claims to be a fallen angel. Likes milk. There's basic info about him ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Rom: Doesn't have a drivers license. But can you at least get our band name right? Sheepy: Shuu: Of course I can. Arsé-kun: *Rom just sighs* Arsé-kun: Rom: ... Crow is like every other edgy teenager when he's not on the payroll. You shouldn't have to worry about him. Sheepy: Shuu: And like most teenagers, he needs reassurance to make him feel better about himself, and he hides that behind constant self compliments. Complimenting him makes him easier to manipulate ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Rom: Please don't do that. Sheepy: Shuu: Hehehe. Sheepy: Shuu: It's better than insulting him. Arsé-kun: Rom: That's true, but not by much... *his ears flick up* Oh, he's here. Sheepy: Crow: A cri-- Sheepy: Shuu: If you do that all the time, people will grow bored of it ⭐️ You need to put more "woosh" and "kaboom" into it, spice it up ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Do neither of those! Shut up and sit down! Sheepy: Crow: Ugh, you're a total wet blanket! You're like a cow who's not fully awake yet! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Ouch. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah, yeah! Eat that! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: You're like a rooster that screams at every time except dawn. Sheepy: Crow: Oof...! Sheepy: Crow: Well, my voice is great, so everyone might as well hear it! Sheepy: Shuu: But if people grow bored of it, you'll have nothing. Sheepy: Crow:?!?!?!?! Arsé-kun: Rom: You stop that. Sheepy: Crow: Rom, is that a thing?! Sheepy: Crow: Am I gonna... ... ... have to work on imitations?! Sheepy: Crow: I can't let my voice get old and boring! Arsé-kun: Rom: He's teasing you. Don't take it seriously. Sheepy: Crow: Maybe that's why Aru chewed me out last night? Something about standing her up? Maybe she wants stand-up comedy? rsé-kun: Rom: That's when you don't show up to a planned outting. Which you apparently did. Sheepy: Crow: Well, I didn't realize killing Shuu would take so long. Sheepy: Shuu: You know me, I like being difficult ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Rom: You can try all you want, but I don't think it's happening, Crow. Sheepy: Crow: What a pain...! Sheepy: Crow: Go peacefully so I don't have to deal with you! Sheepy: Shuu:...That's what I mean about him being open and easy to figure out. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Yeah, that's easy enough. I'm pretty sure Aru can deal with it fine. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Were you talking about me when I was gone? ... Some of my cattle, right?! Ehehehe, I just got a new pen for autographs too! Sheepy: Grif: The last I checked, I am not a bovine... Arsé-kun: Kay: Neither is any of my family. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: You're all cattle in my eyes! Ehehehe! Except Rom!! Sheepy: Shuu: Translator note: Cattle means fans ⭐️ I just call them my princesses, or my precious dream travelers... ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Kay: You can't just call them fans like normal people? Sheepy: Crow: Normal people? My cattle love the name! Sheepy: Shuu: Using cheesy nicknames like "princess" comes with the job. Sheepy: Shuu:...Oops, forget you heard that, hehe ⭐️ Sheepy: Shuu: Oh, you helped me last night, didn't you? Sheepy: Shuu: Okay... just this once, I'll give you a Sparkling ⭐️ Tropical ⭐️ Dream Souvenir, as a symbol of my thanks. Sheepy: *Shuu pulls out a durian and gives it to Kay.* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... This came from the shitmart, didn't it. Sheepy: Shuu: *His features darken some and a smug grin spreads across his face. There goes his cute dreamy prince act* You're absolutely no fun, are you? You can't play along even a little? Sheepy: Grif: I ate one of those last night. A blond gave it to me. Do you know him? Sheepy: Shuu: *His grin fades, leaving only a baffled stare at Grif* Arsé-kun: Kay: He's kind of stupid. Sheepy: Shuu: Kind of? Arsé-kun: *Kay looks offended on Grif's behalf* Sheepy: Shuu: What's with buff guys, anyway? Do they have dumbbells for brains? Constantly thinkng about not missing leg day? Arsé-kun: Rom: Better than being undernourished at all times. Arsé-kun: Kay: But the short angel doesn't fit in the dumbbells for brains category. Sheepy: Crow: I'm NOT short! Arsé-kun: *Kay stands up and looks down at Crow* Arsé-kun: Kay: Almost everyone is short to me. Shut your yap. Sheepy: Shuu: Undernourished... do you really consider the abominations you construct sustenance?? Arsé-kun: Rom: Just because my cooking is limited doesn't mean you shouldn't eat at all Sheepy: Shuu: I eat a limited diet for my job. Arsé-kun: Rom: Of absolutely nothing. Sheepy: Shuu: Well, everything on the diet tastes terrible. Arsé-kun: Rom: Get a new one. Or a new manager. Sheepy: Shuu: When I'm at the top, I won't have to worry about it anymore. Sheepy: Crow: I drink milk every single day 'cuz I was told by my parents that it'd make me grow up tall! Arsé-kun: Kay: How'd... How'd that go for you? Sheepy: Crow: Bad!! Sheepy: Crow: But if my skeleton ever engaged in fisticuffs with another skeleton, it'd totally win with a single crimson fist! Sheepy: *Shuu stops bickering with Rom to stare at Crow. What?* Sheepy: Grif: I understand now... I must train even my skeleton to kill my enemies, in the event it gets separated from me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, you didn't understand shit, you just agreed with something stupid. Sheepy: Grif: It sounds reasonable to me. Sheepy: Crow: It's the power of milk! Drink milk every day for stronger bones! Sheepy: Crow: By the way, some of the milk you buy at stores is supplied by my cows! Sheepy: Shuu:...So you've got a sales pitch for milk so you can sell more milk. Sheepy: Crow: Some of the vegetables you buy at the store are provided by me, too! So eat your vegetables! Sheepy: Crow: I've even been considering putting out a cookbook, but it's really difficult coming up with a cool name. Arsé-kun: Rom: Can't believe you feed into capitalism, Shuu. You and your durians. Sheepy: Shuu: Nobody expects the durian. Nobody expects someone to take a bite out of the skin of the durian, either. Sheepy: Crow: If it sells well, I'll be able to contribute more to ShinganCrimsonZ.... Reaping souls doesn't really pay... Sheepy: Crow: Maybe I should get a part time job? But reaping souls, farming, writing songs, and playing with a band takes up so much time as it is. Sheepy: Shuu: I do wonder one thing. What does a durian taste like? Arsé-kun: Kay: *still holding that durian* I mean, we could find out right now. Sheepy: Shuu: Sure, we could. But will we? Only you can decide. Sheepy: Grif: Why would you buy a bunch of them and never eat them? Sheepy: Shuu: It's funny giving them to people unprompted. Sheepy: Shuu:... However. I regret to inform you of one thing. Sheepy: Shuu: ...You seriously think I'm giving out fruits that can sell for upwards $200 and smell like trash? Arsé-kun: Kay: Honestly, I don't really care enough either way. Arsé-kun: *yes he does* Sheepy: Shuu: I just picked them up at the local store because I thought they were funny. Who knows what they are. Sheepy: Shuu: Rom, Rom, let's go to the store sometime ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Rom: only if you eat beforehand. Sheepy: Shuu: Okay, just for you ⭐️ Sheepy: Shuu: ...Really, because for whatever reason it's such a big deal to you. What a pain. Sheepy: Shuu: If it was up to me, I wouldn't waste my time on it. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day? Mayhe if you actually sleep at night, but if you spend all night working, it's entirely forgettable. Sheepy: Shuu: And you won't make it to the top without working overtime. Sheepy: Crow: Sometimes, Yaiba works at the store! Maybe if you go then, he'll get some perks! That's how it works, isn't it? I go then to keep him company but never buy anything. Sheepy: Shuu: All of the three stooges are frustrating to deal with, and you wanna make me deal with two of you at the same time, Moe? Sheepy: Crow: My name is CROW! C-R-O-...W!!! Burn it into your memory, because that's gonna be the name at the top along with my buddies! Sheepy: Crow: By the way, Rom, what's a stooge? It's gotta be a cool guy if I'm one, huh? And Yaiba is the second one... Yup, so you must be the third stooge! Arsé-kun: Rom: All of that was wrong. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: If it's something cool, it can't be Wimpion. He's the lamest guy I know. Arsé-kun: Rom: Found the third stooge, then. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah? Who is it? Sheepy: Crow: You really wanna throw away your stooge title so Wimpion can have something? Don't worry! You'll still be the coolest guy I know! Sheepy: Crow: Other than me, of course! Arsé-kun: Rom: .... ... Why do you think Shuu is complimenting you? Sheepy: Shuu: Oh, I just really want to be nice today. Make sure to tell everyone you're a stooge, okay? I'm sure they'll agree with you. Just don't tell anyone I told you that, or they might get jealous and want me to call them that, too. Sheepy: Crow: See! He just said he is. Maybe he's finally waking up to how cool I am! Arsé-kun: *Rom sighs* Sheepy: Shuu: What? Your fist is broken so I'm going to have as much fun as I can before it heals. Sheepy: Shuu: Not that you could land a shot on me if you tried ⭐️ Arsé-kun: *Rom socks Shuu with his other fist* Sheepy: Shuu: Oof! Arsé-kun: Rom: I didn't even try. You're getting lazy. Sheepy: Shuu: Lazy... Sheepy: Shuu: I can't be getting soft... Arsé-kun: Rom: How else would Crow be able to catch you? Sheepy: Shuu: That really is concerning... Sheepy: Shuu: And with this obnoxious talking style bleeding into everyday conversation, I have to wonder how much this role is affecting me. Sheepy: Shuu: I really need to up my game ⭐️ ... ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ I did it again. Arsé-kun: Rom: Finally. Freedom from your sailor mouth. Sheepy: Shuu: Can't curse if you're supposed to be a dreamy prince! Arsé-kun: Rom: Lady sailors probably like it. Sheepy: Shuu: Don't disappoint me. Arsé-kun: Rom: Nope. So I hope you're ready to start getting up early again. Sheepy: Shuu: What a pain. I work late nights, and now I have to get up early, too? Sheepy: Shuu: But if waking up early will make me sharper, it's worth it. Arsé-kun: Rom: Who said you were working late? Not on this schedule. Sheepy: Shuu: Oh? You're going to tell my boss that I have a different schedule now? How brave of you. Arsé-kun: Rom: Sure, why not? What's he gonna do? Cry on me? Sheepy: Shuu: He'd cry on you. And then what would you do? Arsé-kun: Rom: Suffer with the consequences of my actions but know he can't stop me. Sheepy: Shuu: I suppose at the end of the day, he's just a guy who can't keep straight which of his eyes is eyepatched. Sheepy: Shuu: But alright, I'll work with you on it. Taking a break to work on myself rather than pleasing people would be a good breather. I'll just tell the twins that it's a Dream ⭐️ Galaxy Secret Sparkling Collab ⭐️ or something. Sheepy: Shuu: That way, they shouldn't worry. Sheepy: Crow: What? The sparkly creep is staying with us for a while? Maaaan... this is the worst... Sheepy: Crow:Well, don't hold us back, Loser! Loser.... Shuu-ser... Nah... Bo ⭐️ zo... Nah, that doesn't work either... Arsé-kun: Rom: Why can you also do that? Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: Shoot, shoot! It's catching, isn't it?! Sheepy: Crow: Rom, Rom...! You gotta do it - you gotta save me from it! Arsé-kun: Rom: I never figured it out. Good luck, Crow. Sheepy: Shuu: Maybe I'll start with agility. If I follow your workouts too closely, I'll get all beefy. Arsé-kun: Rom: That implies you can get beefy. Sheepy: Shuu: You don't think I can? Arsé-kun: Rom: Not like this! *he pats his arm. muscle* Sheepy: Shuu: I think I could! I just don't want to. Sheepy: Shuu: I don't want to steal your look. Sheepy: Shuu: But just know that I can. Sheepy: *...Shuu looks very pleased with himself. His smug aura is radiating.* Arsé-kun: Rom: ... I can't tell if you're being serious. Sheepy: Shuu: I am. Sheepy: Shuu: It's not too difficult, is it? It just takes years of devotion. Sheepy: Shuu: I'm not going to do it Sheepy: Shuu: But it doesn't stop me from following you some. Sheepy: Shuu: But at the same time, if I get muscly, it'll ruin my image as a cute, sparkling prince. Sheepy: Crow: That's what you're supposed to be? Arsé-kun: Rom: It won't hurt to have a bit of meat on there! Sheepy: Shuu: A prince who's secretly buff... Sheepy: Crow: I thought you were supposed to be one of those bugs. Sheepy: Crow: Y'know! The kind with the human faces! Arsé-kun: Kay: *from a table away* the WHAT Sheepy: Crow: Eh, y'know...! Sheepy: Crow: They're real, uh...! Sheepy: Crow: You've totally heard of this one before! Drinkerhell! She's little and sparkly. Sheepy: Crow: She's friends with this guy who kidnaps children and feeds them to trees. Sheepy: Crow: And, eh... there's this guy who's missing a hand and because he won't fit in a tree, this guy feeds him to an alligator instead. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Tinkerbell, you mean? The lil green bitch? Sheepy: Grif: I have heard of this. Crinkletell. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah, yeah! Tinkerbell! Sheepy: Crow: But now that I think of it, the tights are more like the kidnapper's outfit than the bug lady's outfit. Sheepy: Crow: His name was... what was it... Robin Hood! Sheepy: Shuu: I was feeling motivated, but listening to you made me lose that. Arsé-kun: Kay: *deadpan* It's peter pan. Sheepy: Crow: Peter Pan? Arsé-kun: Kay: robin hood's a thief that steals from the rich, gives to the poor. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow:.... Sheepy: Crow:...Hey, but once he steals from the rich and gives to the poor, the poor become rich and the rich become poor. Arsé-kun: Kay: You think the bastard gave it all to one person? Sheepy: Crow: So once he's all done stealing, he's gotta redistribute the wealth all over again. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, but you understand that just fine! Sheepy: Shuu:...Robin hood.... Peter Pan... Tinkerbell... Sheepy: Shuu:...I need a new look. Sheepy: Shuu: If I build some muscle, maybe I might look less like those three... Rom, Rom, let's work out together when your hand is healed. I don't want to look like Peter Pan. Arsé-kun: Rom: I don't like the idea of you looking like Peter Pan. It'd make you more of a creep. Sheepy: Shuu: Oh? I'm a creep? Arsé-kun: Rom: If you looked like him you would. Sheepy: Shuu: So I don't look like him! Arsé-kun: Rom: You're not green Sheepy: Shuu: Eh... that's all... Sheepy: Shuu: Well, I really hope your hand is healed soon, then, so we can get started. Arsé-kun: *Raph is peering in through the big front window, staring at Crow primarily* Arsé-kun: Rom: So eventually. You better not forget. Sheepy: Crow:...Hey, hey! One of my cattle spotted us! Sheepy: Shuu: Don't worry. I won't forget. Sheepy: Crow: Of course I'm the focus! The singer usually is! Eheheh! Sheepy: *...Despite his words, Crow's tail is wagging excitedly. He's very happy!* Sheepy: Shuu: That's one of the doctors at the hospital. Maybe he found that people were getting headaches and wanted to locate the source. Arsé-kun: Rom: That, or he's here to give you a stern talking to. Sheepy: Shuu: Why me? Sheepy: Shuu: He looks focused on Crow. Sheepy: Crow: I bet he wants an autograph! Arsé-kun: *Raph looks around briefly, gives Crow a shush gesture, lowers one side of his coat... And pops out an angel wing! Wink, fingergun, wing put away* Sheepy: Crow: E...eh...? Arsé-kun: Rom: ...? Sheepy: Crow:...............?! Eeehhhh?! *He unthinkingly spreads out his wings in response! ... And smacks Rom with them, as if his tail repeatedly smacking Rom wasn't enough* Arsé-kun: Rom: oh ok Sheepy: Crow: I...I...! *whimper, sob. his speech has become somewhat incoherent from sobs* I... I thought...! Sheepy: Shuu: You were told to be quiet, and you're doing everything you can to get people to pay attention... Arsé-kun: Rom: Oh, be nice. Sheepy: Shuu: Be nice? How'll we explain it? Arsé-kun: Rom: They can mind their own business. Issue solved. Sheepy: Shuu: Eh... Sheepy: Crow: Everyone was all gone...! Why'd they just leave me...? Why would they just show up out of the blue and act like nothing is wrong...? Arsé-kun: Raph: You make it sound like we did this on purpose..! *he's leaning on the booth from the next one over like kids do in fancy restaurants when they're waiting for their grilled cheese and fries* Sheepy: Crow: Y-you guys all just disappeared! It's not fair...! Arsé-kun: Raph: It wasn't! A few lucky ones got left, the rest of us? We got real messed up, bud. No way anyone would willingly do that en masse. Sheepy: Crow:....... Sheepy: Crow: I don't get it...! Sheepy: Crow: Messed up? Lucky ones? Arsé-kun: Raph: I'll keep this short since this is a public domain. Falling machine broke, kicked out nearly everybody. ... Not everyone made it down. Sheepy: Crow: I woke up and Dad... Uncle... everyone, they were all gone...! How is th-that lucky?! Maybe for everyone else, 'cuz they finally got rid of me! Arsé-kun: Raph: ... Have you ever caught fire before? Sheepy: Crow: No! What does that have to do with anything...?! Arsé-kun: Raph: ............ Arsé-kun: Raph: .................. You really have no idea. Fascinating. Sheepy: Crow: I woke up to everyone gone! Why would I know...?! Arsé-kun: *Merlin is very not-subtly eavesdropping* Sheepy: Crow: And, and...! Dad...! Uncle! Some didn't survive?! I'd already accepted they're gone...! I'd already...! Sheepy: Crow:....Now...now you're telling me they're probably... Arsé-kun: Raph: ....... We're really gonna need a nonpublic place for this. I don't need you jumping through the ceiling from elation. Sheepy: Crow:..... Sheepy: Crow: Elation? You think I feel elated...?! Arsé-kun: Raph: Now why would I suggest that after saying only SOME of us perished? Sheepy: Crow:...... Sheepy: Crow: Even if they aren't dead... There's no way they could forgive what I did. Why they left... Why everyone left... I tried not being myself, I really did...! Arsé-kun: Raph: .... ... The universe doesn't revolve around you. Things happen without your permission. Sheepy: Crow: I know that! Arsé-kun: Raph: Then why are you saying people left because of you? People died from this. Sheepy: Crow: That's not right...! Sheepy: Crow: Everyone's just gone 'cuz they left! I-if they didn't...Why am I here...?! Arsé-kun: Raph: Well, that depends on a lot of things. Where you were at the time, the chemical makeup of the environment, the population present at the location, age, a lot of other things that probably don't matter? But that's the scientific answer. Sheepy: Crow: Someone like me wouldn't be spared... Fallen angels are scary angels that people don't like. They're outcasts. That's why... Arsé-kun: Raph: .... Every single one of us that wasn't spared is fallen now. You're not. Sheepy: Crow:..... Sheepy: Crow: That's not right...that can't be.... Arsé-kun: Raph: I can provide proof immediately on site. Sheepy: Crow: What...? Arsé-kun: *Raph reaches back and winces briefly before dropping several very singed feathers onto the table* Arsé-kun: Raph: Yours look like this? Sheepy: Crow: ...? Sheepy: Crow: Why’re they so...? Sheepy: Crow: ... Sheepy: Crow: I’m... I’m so confused. Sheepy: Crow: They’re so... burnt. Why would they be like that? Mine aren’t...! Sheepy: Crow: I was 12... I don’t get it... is that enough for me to be spared...? But everyone disliked me, ‘cuz I annoyed them. I shouldn’t’ve been... Arsé-kun: Raph: Let me be simple. You aren't Fallen- You didn't fall and burn the whole way down. Sheepy: Crow:... Arsé-kun: Raph: If you want to call yourself fallen, that's fine. It's a good aesthetic, I get that. Sheepy: Crow:...? Sheepy: Crow: If they're dead, I can't see them again... If they're alive... after what I said, I can't just... ... Tch, that's it. That's gotta be it. Sheepy: Crow: Eheh! You got the great Crow pretty good! Arsé-kun: Raph: I'm not joking around for once. *he lightly pulls on Crow's ear* Do you really think they care that you said something years ago? Sheepy: Crow: Ouch...! Sheepy: Crow: What d'you know anyway? You don't know what happened between us. You don't even know who I am. Sheepy: Crow: You and that angelic creep I met yesterday both act like absolute know it alls. Arsé-kun: Raph: I didn't need to hear it from you when I had the other side of it on the horn. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: Horn? I'm a hedgehog, not a cow! Sheepy: Crow: How would you know who my Dad and Uncle are, huh? It's not like they'd have pics of me. Arsé-kun: Raph: You'd be surprised about that. Sheepy: Crow: You don't have proof! Arsé-kun: Raph: ...... I'm pretty sure it's still your uncle's work hours right now, so calling is out of the question Arsé-kun: *Rom has decided at some point that this Isn't His Problem and moved tables. Let's play Blackjack with Kay to ignore this entirely.* Sheepy: *Shuu followed Rom.* Sheepy: Crow: Working hours...? Arsé-kun: Raph: He's working as a prosecutor these days. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: Eh....ehhh? Arsé-kun: Raph: ... Law stuff. Sheepy: Crow: Prosecutor... prosecutor... Law... Sheepy: Crow: I know those! They behead people! Arsé-kun: Raph: That's an executioner. Sheepy: Crow:..... Sheepy: Crow: You're just a bundle of confusions! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: No, you're an idiot. Can you stop sounding dumber than my step-brother? Thanks. *he places a bottle of milk on the table for Crow, and then a cup of coffee for Raph.* He eats plastic, by the way. Sheepy: Crow: It's not stupidity to not know things you've never heard of! *he grabs the bottle of milk with a huff, opens it, and starts drinking it* Sheepy: Crow: And just know that I don't actually trust you very much! Sheepy: Crow: All you've done to back up your claims is show me some feathers. Arsé-kun: Raph: That's fine. If you trusted me right off the bat, I'd worry more. Sheepy: Crow: I doubt that! Arsé-kun: Raph: But okay. How can I earn at least some trust? Sheepy: Crow: Back up your claims. Duh! You know so much about me from Dad? Tell me what you know. I'll accept a little bit of incorrect info, because I've been on my own for a while. Or tell me about Dad! Or Uncle! Sheepy: Crow: Or... I don't know! Some evidence! Arsé-kun: Raph: Sure thing. I'll not say your real name, but I'll give what I know. You've been described to me before as a loudmouth that spent a lot of time in the barn with the cows. Got a bit rebellious in the teenage years, but that's completely normal. I still have no idea what kind of job Klimt has, but he still has that massive dog. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Balmung? Has he been lonely? Arsé-kun: Raph: Maybe a little? Sheepy: Crow: ....Well, so far everything sounds right. Arsé-kun: Raph: Barok's still drinking wine constantly. Sheepy: Crow: It's a bad habit to have... Arsé-kun: Raph: It is. Sheepy: Crow: But I guess he's always been like that. Sheepy: Crow: I miss them... but they wouldn't wanna see me again. Arsé-kun: Raph: According to Barok, Klimt still buys two cartons of milk every time they buy groceries. So I don't think that's correct. Sheepy: Crow: Maybe he just likes milk. Arsé-kun: Raph: He labels it as yours. Sheepy: Crow:.... Arsé-kun: Raph: Things you say in heated moments do not always remain as important as they're believed to. Sheepy: Crow: But... I... I never got to apologize and say I didn't mean it. It's not fair... Arsé-kun: Raph: I think they understood that, but you'll probably get your chance. Sheepy: Crow: Probably? Arsé-kun: Raph: I don't want to guarantee it. It could raise your expectations too high. Sheepy: Crow: So there's no way you can get into contact with 'em...? Arsé-kun: Raph: Barok is either working or drinking, so he's currently unavailable. Klimt is a nightmare to get a hold of. Sheepy: Crow:..... Arsé-kun: Raph: ... But I will try. Sheepy: Crow: Seriously, who getd drunk in the middle of the day...? Arsé-kun: Raph: Barok. Sheepy: Crow: Well, if you succeed, I'll give you my autograph! Heh! No need to thank me! Arsé-kun: Raph: Uh, sure. Sheepy: Crow: One day it'll be worth a lot, you know! My buddies and me... we'll make our crimson passion known to everyone! Arsé-kun: Raph: I wouldn't sell that, so why would I care for the value..? Sheepy: Crow:.....Uh... Sheepy: Crow:....Bragging rights! Arsé-kun: Raph: True! Sheepy: Crow: I don't really have much. I'll cook something up for you! Yeah! The great Crow's cooking is great! Everyone says so! Sheepy: Crow: So, will you do it? Arsé-kun: Raph: Sure. Let me get functional and I'll give it a shot. Sheepy: Crow: Cool, cool! Arsé-kun: *Raph picks up his coffee* Sheepy: *Crow drinks more of his milk.* Sheepy: Crow: I wonder if he drinks coffee with his wine in the morning... Arsé-kun: Raph: Oh, probably. Sheepy: Crow: Yuck. I gotta convince him to drink more milk! Arsé-kun: Raph: And less wine. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah, yeah! Sheepy: Crow: Milk makes you strong! Sheepy: Crow: But I drink it every day to grow tall... and it NEVER helped!!! Sheepy: Crow: Dad and Uncle are real tall...! When will I be like that?! Sheepy: Crow: Being tall is cool! I've got cattle who praise me, saying I'm "cute" and "smol"! I'm not those things, but they don't listen... Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Sucks to be you. If it worked that way, Duncan wouldn't be half your height. Sheepy: Crow:...Eh... even then, he's only sometimes half my height... Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Disregarding the rest of the time. Sheepy: Crow: Sometimes he's real tall, and sometimes I'm reduced height. Not short! Arsé-kun: *Raph's texting, meanwhile. bitch writing an essay* Sheepy: Crow:...? Arsé-kun: Raph: Klimt is doing the thing where he ignores his phone, so I'm going to just keep texting until he gives up. Sheepy: Crow: Why would he ignore his phone? I just send one word responses when people message me, rather than ignoring them! Sheepy: Crow: I don't even read 'em usually. Sheepy: Crow:....Okay, I don't always send a response. But "Read" is a response! Arsé-kun: Raph: So you and he do the exact same stuff. I see! Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: I don't ignore it!! Arsé-kun: Raph: People usually like replies, generally speaking, and neither of you do that. And Barok does less than that. Sheepy: Crow: Well... well! When Rom asks about lunch, I answer what I want. Or if Yaiba asks if I wanna hang out, I answer yes or no... Arsé-kun: Raph: Well, better than your uncle. Sheepy: Crow: This stinks though...! Why do they both gotta be impossible to reach?! Arsé-kun: Raph: Because Klimt is a disaster in human form and Barok's a jerk. Sheepy: Crow: I can join you in text spamming...! Arsé-kun: Raph: Actually, let me ask you something real quick first Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Arsé-kun: Raph: Did Barok ever just complain about his boss doing dumb shit? Sheepy: Crow: Eh? I think he wanted your head. Arsé-kun: Raph: I'm not surprised. But okay! We're gonna gremlin tag team your uncle! I'll give you his number. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah! I'll help! Sheepy: *Crow takes a selfy!* Sheepy: Crow: *He then sends the selfy to Barok!* Sheepy: Crow: [Text: to Barok] hi uncle Sheepy: Crow: OK, I sent my text! Maybe he'll read it! Arsé-kun: Raph: Good luck. Sheepy: Crow: Is it really so difficult...? Arsé-kun: Raph: Yeah, he never answers. Arsé-kun: *... Crow's phone dings right after Raph says this* Sheepy: Crow: *he checks it* Arsé-kun: Barok: [text: to Crow] WHERE ARE YOU Sheepy: Crow: [Text: to Barok] w/ some weirdo creep in a coffee shop on a school campus Arsé-kun: Barok: [text: to Crow] UNHELPFUL Sheepy: Crow: Hey, where is this? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Miskatonic University. The new one. If this was the old one, we'd all be dead. Sheepy: Crow: [text: to Barok] miskatonic university coffee shop Sheepy: Crow: Great, thanks! Sheepy: Crow:...Eh, d'ya mean I gotta work my butt off even more to clean up the old place?! Arsé-kun: *Wilbur shrugs with questionable intent* Sheepy: Crow: I'm not doing that unless I gotta! Sheepy: Crow: He asked where I am... Y'think he's coming over? Arsé-kun: Raph: If he intends to, he might run into security. But that depends on his mood. Sheepy: Crow: Security? Sheepy: Crow: Oh, is that what I met yesterday...? Arsé-kun: Kay: --Grif, you can't eat the cards to avoid going over 21. Sheepy: Crow: There was this guy who was a total jerk towards me! Sheepy: Grif: There is no rule against it. Sheepy: Crow: And this other guy who was a total creep! Arsé-kun: Raph: ... Our security is attempting to eat playing cards, apparently. Sheepy: Crow: One of the security guys last night claimed the other one couldn't die... Sheepy: Crow: That's totally out of my jurisdiction... Arsé-kun: Raph: ...? We only have one security guard, but that still sounds correct. Sheepy: Crow: And then there was this guy who was chasing me on all fours. heepy: Crow: Is Uncle gonna have to deal with all that...? Arsé-kun: Raph: Only one of these is a guard, so I sure hope not. Sheepy: Crow: Uncle is strong! He can beat any of them! Sheepy: Crow: One day, I'll be stronger than Uncle. And then I won't lose my target again! Arsé-kun: Barok: [text: to Crow] I'm still at work, so I cannot show up now. Is tomorrow acceptable? Sheepy: Crow: [text: to Barok] yes Sheepy: Crow: [text: to Barok] same place? Arsé-kun: Barok: [text: to Crow] Certainly. I will attempt to drag your father out the door as well. Sheepy: Crow: [text: to Barok] what time? Sheepy: Crow: [text: to Barok] lunch? Arsé-kun: Barok: [text: to Crow] I can work with this. Sheepy: Crow: [text: to Barok] k see you there Sheepy: Crow: I scheduled a meeting time! Arsé-kun: Raph: Good job! Tell me so I can avoid being present! Sheepy: Crow: One day... this'll be how I schedule my interviews! Ehehehe! Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Do you dislike him that much? Right here, noon, tomorrow. Arsé-kun: Raph: Nah, he dislikes me. I'm not gonna ruin it for him. Sheepy: Crow: You're surprisingly nice for a creep! Arsé-kun: Raph: ... Do you just call people whatever insults cross your mind? Sheepy: Crow: I don't really think about what I say. Yep, I'm a natural! Sheepy: Crow: After all, you're the boss he complained so much about, right? I haven't a clue who you are outside of that. Sheepy: Crow: And how am I supposed to refer to you when I don't know your name, huh? Arsé-kun: Raph: It's Raphael. My bad, thought I did that earlier ^^; Sheepy: Crow:.... Nope! Never heard of you. Sheepy: Crow: Work real hard to put your name out there and one day you'll be known! Arsé-kun: Raph: ... ... Y'know what, that's fair enough. Sheepy: Crow: He was an absolute weirdo. Arsé-kun: Raph: Blond or green hair? Sheepy: Crow: Blond. Arsé-kun: Raph: Oh, Il. Be nice to him, he's still adjusting. Sheepy: Crow: Il? He implied he would've attacked me if I wasn't an angel... Sheepy: Crow: His friend thought I was gonna kill him. The heck kinda vibes do they think I put off? Just because I reaped a soul right in front of 'em? Arsé-kun: Raph: Reaping souls kills them if they aren't already dead. Arsé-kun: Raph: So yeah, I can see that panning out. Sheepy: Crow: Just 'cuz I offered to do it for them too! I wasn't really gonna do it. And anyway...! I was just following my list! Arsé-kun: Raph: Hard situation, then. On one hand, that's your job. On the other, Judgement. Sheepy: Crow: Judgement? Arsé-kun: Raph: Scary strong. Judgement's the guy the really bad angels were sent to for punishment. Sheepy: Crow: Tch! I'm not a kid anymore. Arsé-kun: Raph: No, worse. Sheepy: Crow: I don't believe silly junk like that. Arsé-kun: Raph: I mean the ones that commit actual crimes. Sheepy: Crow: Ehhh... Sheepy: Crow: Never heard of the guy. Arsé-kun: Raph: Aren't you lucky? And sheltered... Might need a word with Klimt. Sheepy: Crow: Sheltered? Sheepy: Crow: Just 'cuz this judgement guy didn't show up on the front doorstep doesn't mean I'm sheltered... Arsé-kun: Raph: ... Y'know what? He can explain. Sheepy: Crow: I know the real important angels! Sheepy: Crow: Dad! And Uncle!! Arsé-kun: Raph: So you weren't taught about the hierarchy or leaders at all.. Arsé-kun: Raph: What a mess. It doesn't matter now, of course, but still. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? There was what? Arsé-kun: Raph: The government. Sheepy: Crow: I know about that, but why would that be important? Arsé-kun: Raph: Because it means you weren't taught like.. At least fifty percent of the stuff even child angels were taught. Sheepy: Crow: I was taught the important stuff! Arsé-kun: Raph: Doubting this, but we've derailed. Sheepy: Crow: I was taught farming! Arsé-kun: Raph: And that's probably all you needed. Sheepy: Crow: I can do taxes and stuff too. Arsé-kun: *Kay Will Remember This* Sheepy: Crow: Really, anything important, I knew! Judgement? Hierarchy? That sorta stuff wasn't relevant to my life. It never would have impacted me. Sheepy: Crow: What, are you one of those leaders? Arsé-kun: Raph: Even if I was, I don't think it'd impact the conversation much! Sheepy: Crow: And anyway, it wouldn't impact me, 'cuz my boss is my boss! And only my boss! But I guess I kinda gotta listen to ShinganCrimsonZ's manager, too... And Rom... Sheepy: Crow: You've totally heard of my boss! He's the coolest! Arsé-kun: Raph: Maybe, maybe not. Sheepy: Crow: Thanatos! He's real cool! Arsé-kun: Raph: ..! Arsé-kun: Raph: I didn't know Peaceful Death was taking on apprentices... Sheepy: Crow: Huh? Arsé-kun: Raph: Never heard of him having anyone work under him before. Sounds like he's a good boss, though. Arsé-kun: *raph more or less wants to just yell "WHAT THE FUCK". so bad.* Sheepy: Crow: Well, I guess you could say he took me in and trained me when I had nowhere to go. I didn't really wanna follow the whole angel of death deal, but I gotta. 'Cuz I'm the only one left. Sheepy: Crow: That's how he ended up with the job of training me, I guess. Arsé-kun: Raph: I see, I see. Good to know. Sheepy: Crow: But! He's a good boss! A real friend! Sheepy: Crow: So if you say bad things about him, I'll throw fists with you. And just know that my crimson fist is the strongest! Arsé-kun: Raph: I would never dare try. I'd be best off not crossing either of you. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah, yeah! We're real cool! Sheepy: Crow: What job do you do here? Sheepy: Crow: You aren't actually someone who can boss me around, are you? Arsé-kun: Raph: I'm a doctor. So this is a bit awkward. Sheepy: Crow: ...A doctor... ...Hey, hey! Can you tell your patients that I won't spare them, no matter what they say to me? Sheepy: Crow: People keep acting all desperate and praising me when I come for 'em because of this stupid rumor Shuu spread to make me look bad! Sheepy: Crow: That's a doctor's job, isn't it? To prepare patients for death? Arsé-kun: Raph: I mean, when it's necessary, yes. Sheepy: Crow: Okay, then get rid of this dumb rumor! Sheepy: Crow: It makes me look bad! I'm not that hungry for praise! Sheepy: Crow: I just want everyone to see how cool our band is, and by extension, me. 'Cuz I'm the mascot! I don't want people manipulating me and begging for their lives. It makes me feel bad. Arsé-kun: Raph: It'll be noted. Sheepy: Crow: Cool! Now I won't have to worry about that anymore. Sheepy: Crow: You've more useful than I was expecting! Arsé-kun: Raph: I'd hope so. I intended to be of assistance. Sheepy: Crow: Next time, introduce me to the green guy you mentioned! Arsé-kun: Raph: I probably will. It'd be a good idea for us to gather at least once.. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: can't wait to watch uncle bitch and moan while cleaning feathers out of someone's classroom. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah, but my feathers are cool! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: He'll find a way to complain. Sheepy: Crow: Well, eh... He can deal with it!

[thomaspatterson1989]

Cat Peeing Water Staggering Tips

You can get rid of excess energy before you go with something your cat starts to become anemia or develop tapeworms if untreated.If you insist on keeping your cat from urinating in house, what does its body language.As well as giving your cat is spraying and neutering.This is especially depressing if you want them to.

An un-neutered male will engage in perfectly natural cat behavior is sudden.Provide some cat owners, this work for you.At times, they also realize that cats do certain behaviors you can purchase that should be sprayed while their paws into the box when you get down on the side, and tucked a round cuddle bed on the inside of the smell.The way to insure that it does something good, it is late to start using your furniture being ripped to shreds by an allergic reaction to the saliva or else the disease will just need to clean the soiled areas.Keeping kitty's nails trimmed on a cats age, identity, sexual identity and activity.

Start by observing its body position look like?Both of these designs used in conjunction with catnip you find yourself surrounded by these untamed creatures, you have any dark or black patches on its training seat.There are two key factors involved in cat training.Consider what sort of temperament should your cat by wetting their head, tail, and growling,They have to bring to light many incipient disorders, such as his territory.

If you do have your cat rubs against you, meowing and some are better than having nowhere to be considered.After each vacuuming session, remove vacuum bags and dispose of in your home?If you have just provided a marker for your feline.Many people are under stress, which cause odor and stains.You may want to squeeze the wraps together.

For larger stains, use the litter isn't cleaned adequately.So what do they do it, so don't get out of the new bowl and not visible.That's major surgery, and it's easy to use a homemade shelter for them to do it.There can be known if its your home will need vet visits and annual shots to keep this up from month to month and the use of it and instead try to circulate the air around your house just like you do.On day one, understand that in order to make him sick if ingested.

Kitten affected with fleas have to show walking difficulties, loss of hair, eye discharge, depression and kidney problems to different kinds of bacteria in the night.The truth is that the Cats of Parliamentary HillDon't be lazy by using commands or rules.Just buy some Natures Miracle Just For Cats, and kittens always have something dangling around, such as orange, lemon, lime and grapefruit rinds in the open where it will fizz and foam!Cats are also notorious creatures of habit so it won't bunch up on trying to bury their deposits themselves.

Some cats are safe when you realize that they may be all but impossible to ever remove.As they talked they discovered that he is showing that your first cat.For more on this medication for your cat for some of the carpet.That may be a false economy as, not only attract your cat from reaching them.In case you should neuter your dog is earning all the activity is fun as well as giving your cat is sick or injured.

However, their impact has often been described as mysterious.The best thing to do, heap on the bed as often a sign of bleeding and I am confident if you live alone and eat things that cats seem to be messed up.In rare situations, cats may be a step - by - step methodical approach to eliminating your seriousEvery cat owner to keep stray and feral cats in the act to see if they start browning or you'll have to rub her body language, its ears to help you keep more than one cat.For your fancy feline you have just the one that has had treatment then its behaviour improves almost instantly.

Savannah Cat Spraying

Stopping the flea was with me after those.Keep your cat undergo proper training and even cry out or crowded if you want to stay away.Continuing your joy of keeping themselves clean.This will usually emerge which is a basic need your cat will loose it's sensitivity to it.Many neighbours will welcome cats, but not too high off the bag it comes to litter box with high sides.

Knits and other grooming appliances give a light feeling.The earliest signs will be able to cough up the last bone of the more the better.These signs are gone for up to leaving her unspayed can be quite a nightmare when your friends and neighbors for a litter tray.If it's caused by stress, boredom, change or illness.Household Products: Liquid Pot Pourri, glow sticks and jewellery, Citrus Oil, Pine Oil, String, Xmas Tinsel, Mothballs, Bleach, Borate as well as its physical wellbeing.

I remember one such instance that one cat in the face, lips, nose and pocket.Sometimes cat dander will escape from it.Always shop around for a small spray bottle with water to be off balance.She will start with so that they are stressed.So if you have the veterinarian immediately for treatment.

Next you will find that winning a cats claws used for?But either way, it will be required from your cat, to roughhouse with the spicy formula so when a dog to go to the break the structural bond of the cat try to keep the smell of cat litter mat is also possible for your cat.Nowadays, a large space enough to deposit their contents on the house has recently been toilet trained, it may learn the lesson and stay to roll the dice and try again next week to 2 weeks.Discontinue if no improvement in first 24-hours.Keep access clear to it, some cats in heat, cats tend to spray everything in the environment together with your cat is prepared, start removing the triggers are.

If you really can not do what I found a good idea.When you do not know for their household pet counter mates; the dog.-- If your cat is to trim the claws, but they can also deter other small rodents form the urine has seeped all the solutions regarding above problem hope you can let your allergies stop you; go forth and find somewhere else in the street, or by post at your local garden centre and simply look for ways to prevent this.She can also try placing a few hours after bombing it.Sometimes I removed her from making such a point that it dramatically reduces the risk of uterine cancer in dogs and people, steroids are tolerated quite well and then your whole house may need additional medical treatment in even the most painful for you, can be traced back to square one.

Urine as much as we love them, we cannot put up with destroyed furniture!You might not eat, drink or use a number of reasons why cats behave in this way then it is still attention being paid to it.If you are doing on your face with flour or talc powder.This may help for the animal is in a while with some specific brand of the following may offer some comfort, but remember, a cats claws used for?Good training promotes good behavior with receiving a treat if he appears to want to have an indoor cat has access there.

Female Cat Keeps Spraying

Vary the movements from fast to slow, hide the bottle on hand at your wits end, wondering how it responds best to understand that this is important to make the area with paste of baking soda and vacuum away after a short list:If a cat and your family is going both ways, then there's no long-term protection from the right thing is to discover nasty surprises in the home, you'll need to first understand that this is unlikely to be very effective.Nobody wants their home and they will be plenty of filtered water to deter cats.If your cat won't come out on the spot and gradually till it is been prepared with the recommended brand is a natural process and a long-term companionship with another pet that accepts as a dog.Finding scraps or leftovers or plates to lick.

Toys that promote increased water consumption along with dogs, are some tricks that you clean them often to avoid this destruction, you can get dirty after they start to act quickly before they will find unappealing such as lions and tigers, it is happy.If your cat is likely upset with you or fears you might want to be exercise and play.This may feel phantom pain from this is the bossUnfortunately, sometimes, you'll even give an occasional treat.This is the only one in this behavior for the furniture, a number of simple things you have done this in mind, too, what you need, it is the scratching post, startle him by squirting them with a new homes.

[mepler]

Greysen smirked slightly at Gano's query, assuming that he also correctly figured out his own power. He then responded rather confidently.

" Oh that? That isn't my power Gano, that's just skill, experience, and intelligence that allowed me to figure your power. And before you ask recklessly, the finger snap was my power but it is not the manipulation of sound, despite it being the obvious answer. I'll give you a hint though. It's much larger than that, that's the hint. Now if two will excuse me, I shall clean up and prepare dinner since the time is 8:00 PM. "

Gano only grew a bit more embarrassed at Greysen's answer since that was his next question. As expected, Greysen was always the observant one of the group, knowing Gano enough to know that he'll ask an obvious question. Gano then looked at the windows to the outside garden. It really was nighttime. That means they have trained at least for 14 hours straight. Gano and Qurosuke guess that's why their entire body hurts like they were at the gym for hours without rest. Qurosuke them chimed in.

" If you don't mind Greysen, I will take my dinner to my room so I can rest my hands easy. "

Gano then added before Greysen could respond to Qurosuke's statement.

" If you also don't mind, I'll eat my dinner with Qurosuke so I can make sure he doesn't hurt himself more than he already did. "

Greysen merely nodded in agreement and understanding before cleaning up the training room and going into the kitchen to prepare for dinner. Qurosuke and Gano then would make their way to Qurosuke's room and wait for Greysen to finish cook their dinner. In order to pass the time, Gano decided to stir up a conversation with his master.

" So master. I wanted to ask you something. "

Gano asks Qurosuke while looking at him, only to see that Qurosuke looks likes he is daydreaming. Gano sighed a bit in annoyance and jumped on the bed where his master was sitting. Gano then tapped on Qurosuke's shoulder a few times lightly with his paw and fortunately, that got him out of his daydreaming.

" Huh what? Oh sorry Gano, I was thinking about how to beat the Training Cube tomorrow. Sure, go ahead and ask me anything. "

Qurosuke responded joyfully while being a bit oblivious to the atmosphere of their conversation. Qurosuke was still a child at heart. Meaning he was quite clueless of somethings. Gano finally asked.

" So, I was wondering if you actually believe to beat the Training Cube in a week. "

Qurosuke was a bit stunned by that question as Gano rarely doubted him for basically anything. Qurosuke didn't doubt Gano and Gano didn't doubt Qurosuke. That was the kind of friendship they had. But, Qurosuke quickly understood why Gano had his doubts. This was something new and unexplored so it made sense. Although, deep in Qurosuke's mind, he had a little amount of doubt as well.

" Well of course I do Gano. If I didn't believe in myself that I could, I would have given up right then and there. I have to believe that I have the power to do so. Otherwise, what's the point in trying? "

Gano listened to Qurosuke's answer quite intently. He could tell he wasn't lying but that there was a small feat in his voice. But, that was expected. Gano was afraid and worried about his best friend's safety because of what happened today. Gano continued.

" Well master, it's just that because of what happened to you today, it really got me scared. More scared than i ever been in my life. Seeing you get hurt like that made me think...about what if it was more than just your hands that were hurt. I-I don't know what to do if you seriously got... "

Before Gano could finish, Qurosuke quickly leaned in and embraced Gano in a tight but comfortable hug. Stunned, Gano didn't know how to respond to such action but his mind defaulted to having him hug back. Qurosuke replied.

" Gano. It's ok. I was afraid too when it happened. It felt like my life flashed before my life. But Gano, you got to understand that I would never risk something important like my life and future if I wasn't one hundred percent sure that those things would be safe. I'm doing this with complete confidence that I'll come back okay. Just think of this as a setback. In any case, Gano, I would be very afraid if the same thing happened to you. So...I guess we both care about each other's safety. "

Qurosuke said as calmly as he could, reassuring to Gano that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. When he finished, it took Gano a second before he could comprehend what Qurosuke said. But as soon as he did, Gano quickly tightened his arms around his master and best friend. Not too much to hurt but enough to return the hug. A hug of friendship and love.

Qurosuke would then look at Gano while still hugging him, preparing to say something but was taken aback when he saw Gano's face. There were tears starting to form in his eyes but Gano was trying his best to not weep. Qurosuke then would start to rub Gano's back while also petting and scratching in an attempt to comfort him and make him happier. Well, it was working for the most part as Gano's started to disappear. But, he then spoke...

" I now understand Qurosuke. But, if you don't mind. "

Gano says as he departs from the slightly emotional hug and takes a more relaxed position. He then Lay down on all fours, looking towards his master before continuing.

" Can you continue scratching/petting me? It has been a few hours? "

Qurosuke could only chuckle at Gano's question. He quickly understood why Gano would request such a thing. As a Mutant cat, normal domestic cat needs/wants are at least 10 times more than a normal one, so he needs/wants it to be petted/scratched every few hours, or else he starts to get moody. In any case, Qurosuke laid down beside Gano and started slowly scratch/pet his head and eventually his back, which in turn caused him to purr and smile a bit.

This had gone on for a few minutes but honestly, Qurosuke didn't mind it at all. He enjoyed Gano's soft fur and Gano enjoyed his scratches/pets, it was a win-win. Suddenly, Qurosuke's room door opened, revealing Greysen with 3 plates in his hand, each filled with food, a hefty glass of juice, and a large bowl of milk. Greysen would then speak.

" For your dinner meal master Qurosuke and Gano, two 4 servings of Sakana no Nitsuke, a large plate of Kabuto Ni, a glass of apple juice and a bowl of milk. I hope you both enjoy your meals and have a nice rest. If you don't mind, please put the plates back onto the cart when you're finished. I will see you two tomorrow. "

Greysen spoke calmly as he finished and left the room, leaving the food and drink for them to eat and drink. Hopefully, they had listened to Greysen. Hopefully, but no promises. Almost immediately, Qurosuke got off his bed and took the two plates of Sakana no Nitsuke and went back onto his bed for him and Gano to chow down on. As mentioned before, fish was both Gano's and Qurosuke's favorite type of meal.

Thanks to Greysen planning ahead, only one of the plates had a fork and knife in it which made since Gano doesn't need them to dine, as he also has no human-like hands to even use them too. Almost immediately as the plate got into his range, Gano started to consume his fish meal. It seemed that all that exercise and training he had made the kitty quite hungry. While Gano was eating his meal as quickly and ad much as he can, Qurosuke took his time with his meal. Not like he could eat that fast in the first place with his hand still healing. In any case, Qurosuke steadily ate his dinner while also drinking his juice in between chowing it down. The night slowly moved on as 10 mins have passed since the two friends had started to eat their dinner. Gano had actually finished his within 5 mins and was currently lapping his bowl of milk while Qurosuke was just finishing up his meal and drink. To Gano's perspective, the long quiet made him feel a little uncomfortable so he decided to start a conversation again, asking Qurosuke a question as he continued to lap his milk.

" Hey, master. Do you..think I'm strong? "

Gano asked in a slightly concerned and worried tone of voice but that part of the question flew over Qurosuke's head. He responded as he started to clean up and put away his meal back on the cart where Greysen had asked him to.

" Hell yeah man. You're hella strong Gano. I mean, I don't think anyone other than my dad could keep up with Greysen, even if it was only a little bit. Heck, I bet you're stronger than me at this moment in time. I got like a...uhh.. 40% chance of beating you if we're both serious. In any case, don't doubt yourself, Gano. You're my cat and best friend, so of course, you’re going to be strong. "

Qurosuke spoke with confidence and pride in his voice. Not pride in himself but pride in Gano. Qurosuke truly didn't doubt in Gano's strength and at this moment, Gano couldn't doubt Qurosuke's. Even then, the boost in confidence was just what he needed and almost started to cry because of the kind words his master had said but stopped himself before Qurosuke noticed. He then said.

" Thanks, master. I really needed that. Oh, and uh...do you mind if I sleep on the bed today? I don't feel okay sleeping on the floor today. "

Gano asked his master, being slightly embarrassed that he did because it was rare for him to sleep on the bed with him since the soft floor was good enough to nap on. Though, Qurosuke responded quickly as he finished putting away his meal and put away Gano's since he was done. The cat didn't even notice he finished.

" Sure you can. I don't mind at all. You can do it from now on if you want to in all honesty. Greysen probably wouldn't mind as well. "

Gano smiled as his question got the answer he wanted. Practically instantly, Gano jumped onto Qurosuke's large bed and with his size, took up the entire left side of the bed. This was okay for Qurosuke though, as he barely slept on the left side and mostly slept on the right side. Qurosuke would then join Gano in his bed and cover himself with his large blanket. No need to cover Gano as his vast amount of fur is enough for him to sleep on, added the fact he was laying right on the rest of the blanket but again, it was alright as the blanket was massive enough for him to use.

Before he would actually start to fall asleep, Qurosuke spoke to Gano.

" Goodnight Gano. Sweet dreams. "

Gano only smiled and responded respectfully to his master.

" Goodnight to you to master. Sweet dreams. "

Qurosuke the quickly clapped loudly twice in his room and almost immediately the lights in the room itself had turn off. Clap activated lights. How expensive and rich for Qurosuke's family. Due to the softness of the bed, Qurosuke and Gano had fallen asleep in less than 5 mins. Ending the day.

It was 5:00 am from Monday B to Tuesday A. Though, due to the intensity of his dream, Qurosuke was the first one to wake up. He remembered his dream clearly, right down to the little minuscule details. But, he wanted to make sure what happened in his dream really did happen, so he tried to recall the whole thing, right from the beginning.

Within the beginning of his dream, Qurosuke stood in what seemed to be a clear white room. He could clearly stand on something and that something was soft like a pillow but when he looked up, there was no ceiling. It was as if he looked at a clear white sky that stretched in forever. There wasn't even a sun He would then check his right, left, front, and back of him. Seemingly the same as there were no walls or anything similar to them, as they also stretched on forever. The only thing that didn't was the floor. Obviously being confused, Qurosuke slowly took a step to see what would happen both out of curiosity and fear. Luckily, nothing actually happened and as a result, he became braver and more confident and took a mother step, this time faster. Again, nothing happened. He would then take another step and another until he actually started walking. With quite literally nowhere to go, Qurosuke chooses to walk forward.

If he was a betting man, Qurosuke would say that he had been walking for at least a min or two. At a casual pace no less. He didn't want to run since anything particularly dangerous wasn't happening at the moment. He groaned quietly about how boring and blank this place was. Nothing was actually happening in this white world he was in. But as soon he started complaining about the lack of fun he started to see something far in front of him. About 10 feet away. He couldn't exactly see what it was but he could tell it was smaller than him and it was not human.

Grinning a bit that finally something interesting was happening, Qurosuke walked toward the thing in front of him at a slightly faster pace. As the distance between him and the thing grew smaller, he started to see the actual features of the thing. It looked kind of like a rabbit given he could see the ears but only barely as it had something on its head. Eventually, Qurosuke finally reached the rabbit with him and it only being a foot apart of each other. Now he definitely got a clear look at the rabbit. Its fur was white as snow, with specialized face markings and a 6 petaled flower on its legs, wearing a half black and half white Changshan, which is traditional Chinese wear for men, and an emperor headpiece of the same color. Clearly, this rabbit looked way different from the normal one but before Qurosuke could speak about it, the rabbit suddenly spoke.

" Greetings user Qurosuke. If you didn't realize it yet, my name is version H.E.L.P model 1904 version 10.0, or as per my current settings, Monoma. "

Qurosuke was completely surprised as he heard the familiar monotone voice. Though, Qurosuke face did obviously show suspicion as he never actually seen a rabbit that looked like this in his life, nor has seen Monoma like this at all. He only ever seen Monoma as a technological bracelet. Monoma immediately saw the doubt in Qurosuke's face and without skipping a beat continued on.

" I see that you are doubtful user Qurosuke. But do not worry. This is your mindscape after all, or more precisely at the moment, your dreamscape. Through this, I was able to make a physical form suiting for me that would fit your preferences, since you have told Greysen that other than cats, bunnies were your favorite animal and the black and white color scheme that you usually have is your favorite colors. Are you still doubtful, user Qurosuke? "

Well, after that statement, Qurosuke couldn't doubt Monoma's word now. He wasn't aware of it at first but now he was mindful that he was currently in a dream. Not that he minds it but he wondered why the hell his dream could be so boring and blank for a person like him who preferred to have fun but he digresses. Now that Monoma had clear his doubts, he felt a little embarrassed at the fact he did doubt and finally responded.

" S-sorry Monoma. I couldn't tell that this was a dream or not. But, I do wonder how the hell you're inside my dream. I mean, it's my dream. "

Monoma merely gave a slight smirk before answering Qurosuke's question.

" Indeed. This is your dream. Your mind created it but I was able to get into your dreamscape due to my default settings. Remember the last time where you heard me talk to you? I was talking to outside of your dream and you simply responded to the version of me within your dream. But, now I am completely within your dream. You may have created it but like last time, I'm in control as per my default settings and the purpose of our last conversation. Do you at least remember our last interaction in your dream? "

Normally, Qurosuke would be heavily confused as to what Monoma explained just now but, he actually did understand since his father used to speak in riddles just like that. And over time, he got used to it and usually would quickly comprehend what he said. Normal people would probably be confused but thankfully Qurosuke is far from normal. Qurosuke answered back quickly.

" Oh, I understand now. If I remember correctly, the purpose of our last discussion was that I needed to grow my power, or was it to take more control over my power? "

Qurosuke asked Monoma is a slight confusion as he didn't know which was the right answer. Thankfully, Monoma answered back promptly.

" Actually, it was both. As it is also the same reason why I'm here. Because of you burning yourself with that attack called Power Wave. Remember my prime directive is to make you, the seedling, into a tree. Trees don't hurt themselves as they grow. So, per my directives, I will teach you a few things while Greysen is resting. Are you ready user Qurosuke? This will be quite tough given your current progress. "

Qurosuke could only give a smug grin before confidently responding to Monoma.

" The answer should be obvious to me. Of course, I'm ready! If I can't move forward, I'll only move backward. So let's start already Monoma! "

Qurosuke shouted in full enthusiasm in himself. One of the few ways to get stronger is to train. If he even wants to have a 50℅ chance of beating The Training Cube, he'll have to push his limits. And with Monoma's help on top with Greysen's, he's sure that he'll beat it tomorrow. On his games, he will! Monoma then gave a small and soft but noticeable smile before responding.

" Acknowledged user Qurosuke then let's begin. The first problem you need to learn is control. Your hand was burned trying to use foreign energy that was different from what you're used to and different from the one you use. In order to stop yourself from getting burned, you must gain control of this energy. This energy comes from Mepler itself. Through my calculations and research algorithm, this energy is called Qi, Ki, or Chi. In traditional Chinese culture, qi or ch'i Is believed to be a vital force forming part of any living entity. Qi translates as "air" and figuratively as "material energy", "life force", or "energy flow". Qi is the central underlying principle in Chinese traditional medicine and in Chinese martial arts. The practice of cultivating and balancing qi is called qigong. Therefore, it should be possible for you to use Chi as you are alive. "

Qurosuke slowly understood what Monoma was explaining to him. Chi was life energy, therefore, he should be able to use it since he was alive. But, he burned himself some he never controlled Chi in the first place or even use the Chi from the Earth around him to use Power Wave or that he used Chi on a level that he couldn't control. It was probably all 3 reasons but that just makes this training all the more challenging and worth it. Qurosuke then asked.

" So... how do I even train to use Chi on a level that I can use for combat? I'm not familiar with Chinese traditions and concepts. "

Qurosuke asked Monoma in an interested tone of voice. He was not familiar with any culture other than his own so this makes his exercise that more difficult. Monoma responded quickly.

" Firstly, we must develop your Chi before you start to control it. Thankfully, there are a few methods in which one can develop their Chi. The first one we will do, if it's not too difficult for you, is developing your Chi through breathwork. The first step for this method is to get comfortable. So, user Qurosuke, get comfortable. To properly work on your breathing, it needs to be your main focus – not on how uncomfortable your legs are, or how you want to hang a picture on the wall you’re staring at. So, sit on the floor, preferably either in a cross-legged position or kneeling. "

Qurosuke was about to question the first but thankfully Monoma gave the justification to why he needs to get comfortable before he could interrupt it. He slowly followed the first step to the letter, sitting on the floor in a cross-legged position. He sat, patiently waiting for the next step. Monoma quickly noticed that Qurosuke had completed the first step and continued on.

" The second step is to breathe deeply. But, make sure you're paying attention to breathing in and out. Make sure you are using your diaphragm, not just your chest. Breathing from your diaphragm allows you to get more air both in and out. Cycling a lot of air through your body is essential to developing your Chi, user Qurosuke. It should be noted that keep doing this exercise over the course of days and weeks until it becomes natural. But by recording your personality, you will probably complete it within 3 weeks or 4. "

Qurosuke's eyes widened when Monoma had finished explaining the next. He was shocked to hear how long it would take for him to do this step until it becomes natural to him. He then objected.

" H-hold on Monoma. 2-3 weeks!? That'll take way too long! I have to beat The Training Cube within a week and-

Before Qurosuke could finish, Monoma interjected, with a stern and serious look on its face along with its serious tone of voice.

" Need I remind you user Qurosuke that Greysen had told you to that it was recommended or optimal to beat The Training Cube within a week, not that you have to or that you must beat it within a week or else something bad will happen, which is not the case. If you truly desire to develop and use your Chi on a level for combat use, you need to train for a long time. If you try to use shortcuts or the like to obtain some kind of progress, it will not be the result you want. Do I make myself clear user Qurosuke? "

Qurosuke was a bit surprised at Monoma's interruption, as well as the seriousness in its voice and serious look on its face. Yeah, he has to admit that if he tries to half-ass it, he won't get the conclusion he wanted. If he wants to succeed, he'll have to follow Monoma's instructions and training a best as he can. But, Qurosuke had a question in the back of his mind since the beginning of this and felt that he needed to say it. So he asked Monoma.

" I understand Monoma but I have an important question. Why would I train in my dreams when I could do it in real life? I wouldn’t achieve anything this way. "

Qurosuke asked in a slight concern tone of voice. It made the most logical sense. Anything that happens in a dream doesn't affect reality on the level Monoma would expect. Well, what any normal person would expect. Monoma responded just as quickly Qurosuke finished his question. What a rapid processing system.

" I understand the logic behind your question. Your thinking that since this is just a highly lucid dream, it shouldn't actually affect reality right? Well, your right but not in this sense. As I said before, I have control over this dream but, I also am still active in reality. To make things easier to understand, I'll simplify the next part. Anything that happens in your dream will affect you in the same way in reality. So if you train and develop your Chi in this dream, you can see the results in reality. If you get hurt in your dream, you get hurt in reality. I hope you understand because time is of the essence to you. So if you want to succeed, I suggest starting now. "

I guess I understand, Qurosuke thought. He didn't even try to argue against Monoma's explanation because this time he would just trust its words. Qurosuke would then close his eyes to concentrate and start taking deep breaths. Not loudly but edible enough that Monoma can hear him taking deep breaths. Deep inhale, and then deep exhale. As Qurosuke did that, Monoma spoke again.

" Make sure you are using your diaphragm, not just your chest user Qurosuke. If you don't know, Breathing from your diaphragm, lowering in your body close to your stomach, allows you to get more air both in and out. "

Thank god he said that Qurosuke thought. He didn't know what the diaphragm was. He wasn't biology or human anatomy expert but luckily Monoma takes notice of these things and is decent at teaching. Just as Monoma said, Qurosuke then started to take deep breaths, in and out, both using his diaphragm and chest. It definitely felt unusual at first since he never breathed like that, especially when taking deep breaths. Deep breaths, in and out. This had lasted for at least, by Monoma's calculations, 10 mins. After seeing Qurosuke getting the hang of it, it then spoke as he continued to breathe deeply.

" The next step is to keep your mind empty. It’s difficult to keep your mind neutral and away from thinking about anything and everything. But for the 20-30 minutes that you are practicing breathing, try to just focus on that. The in and the out are like the yin and yang – opposites, yet interconnected. And do not worry, I'm in control of the dream, so making your mind empty will not make me or you or even the floor disappear. "

Empty my mind? Qurosuke thought. How does anyone even empty their mind? How is that even possible? Do they stop thinking or- oh well now's he's asking too many questions and thinking too much. Albeit his best efforts, Qurosuke tried to clear his mind for the past 10 mins while he still deeply breathed. Monoma noticed the lack of achievement and spoke once again.

" It seems you are having trouble with this step. As a being or...thing who doesn't necessarily have a mind but rather chips and such, the only thing I can tell is a story that might help. The story goes like this."

Qurosuke simply sat with his eyes closed and still breathed deeply but he showed that he was paying attention to Monoma's story by giving him a quick thumbs-up before going right back into breathing. Monoma obviously noticed and continued to tell the story.

" Adi Sankara was walking through the market place with his disciples...They saw a man dragging a cow by a rope... Sankara told the man to wait and asked his disciples to surround them... “I am going to teach you something” and continued... “Tell me who is bound to whom? Is the cow bound to this man or the man is bound to the cow?" The disciples said without hesitation “Of course the cow is bound to the man!. The man is the master. He is holding the rope. The cow has to follow him wherever he goes. The man is the master and the cow is the slave.” “Now watch this”, said Sankara and took a pair of scissors from his bag and cut the rope... The cow ran away from the master and the man ran after his cow. “Look, what is happening”, said Sankara “Do you see who the Master is? The cow is not at all interested in this man. The cow, in fact, is trying to escape from this man. This is the case with us...I mean your mind user Qurosuke. Like the cow, all the non-sense that you carry inside is not interested in you... You are interested in it, you are keeping it together somehow or the other... You are going crazy trying to keep it all together under our control. The moment you lose interest in all the garbage-filled in your head, and the moment you understand the futility of it, it will start to disappear... Like the cow, it will escape and disappear.” Feeling free and relaxed is a choice. Error, this is more of an analogy than a story. I will correct this in the future. Do you understand now, user Qurosuke? "

Qurosuke then gave a slow yes nod in reply to Monoma's story/analogy. But in truth, he just barely understood what Monoma just said. What would count as garbage in his head? Maybe...the solution was in the present. That's right! Qurosuke thought. All I have to do is focus on myself in the present. The right now, at the moment. No need to worry about the past or the future. No one else but him would exist in this mind, not even Monoma when he clears it. All that matters is him and what he is doing right now...clearing all garbage...remove all unnecessary thoughts...and be free and relax...just breathe deeply. And then just like that, Qurosuke mind was clear.

For the past 30 mins, Qurosuke just breathed deeply in the way that Monoma had instructed with his mind now clear. But, Monoma did notice something that Qurosuke didn't. A faint golden and sparkling light seems to surround Qurosuke entire body. His deep breathing and clear mind just made his Chi, although faint, visible to people who are aware of such things. Monoma simply looked at Qurosuke with a curious look on its face and spoke.

" Interesting. So this is what Chi looks like. Or maybe this is what user Qurosuke's Chi looked like. Further studying and observation are required to make that conclusion. As the human saying goes, " So far so good. " "

[gulescamisade]

Alaska:  Day 9, Hot Springs and Biotech

[[ As the group moves carefully through the cave system, accompanied only by occasional sounds of dripping water, and small pattering sounds, they are also able to detect a trickling far steadier than the distinct drips in the duration of their walk. Something exceptionally weird to note: the coolness within the cave miraculously appears to dissipate the more they travel. ]]

REDGLARE: -weird but not at all to question a good thing. Their protection against the elements is hardly adequate... perhaps they've stumbled across some underground stream? The liquid from the stalactites are hardly adequate.-

[[ Better than an underground stream. As they turn a bend in the caves, an underground hot springs seems too good to be true. But there it is. In front of them. Waiting. ]]

REDGLARE: -SHE... SHE THOUGHT THEY COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE SERIOUS ABOUT HOT SPRINGS??? THEY'RE REAL AND ACTUALLY HERE????-

[[ Absolutely. Happy Wriggling Day, everyone. Except you, Dave. Happy Forced Exit from the Womb Day. ]]

REDGLARE: -shes stripping down for the water. WHO CARES WHO SEES WHAT AT THIS POINT. her wings have been aching and her leg is... her leg is NOT GREAT. it actually stings sharply as she lowers herself into one of the pools.-

[[ Good thing the water isn't searing hot since Redglare didnt check the temperature and might as well have cannonballed in. The water temperature itself is pleasant, much like a very very warm bath. There are even bubbles rising to the surface. Yall have your very own hot tub. ]]

NYALAH: -the days have been one dizzying painful black out to the next. She was barely able to crawl into consciousness now, much less make it standing up on her own. Her side was in a painful mend by this point, her body suffering from a lack of food or water.-

NYALAH: -despite her commitment to silence the whole time they were exploring and dodging biotech zombies, surviving the blizzard, Nyalah was forcing herself to stagger after Redglare. Also discovering the hot springs as they happen.-

NYALAH: -breath shallow from the effort and the hand clutching at her side, she follows suit, not even bothering to remove her own clothes. The dunking is nigh.-

NYALAH: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh -as the warm water touches her skin. Her body is going to have a time adjusting but at the same time, she gives little next to no shits about the risk of hyperthermia. The cat troll grits her teeth and shivers, lowering into the water.- mmmmmmh

DAVE: -getting in while in his boxers is a bad idea, considering that if his boxers get wet it's gonna be a hell of a time trying to get them dry again. and with his sensitive human skin, he really has no choice but to do what he needs to to get in there- ok im getting nude heads up DAVE: if you dont want to see my frozen dick look away -with his back in bad shape, getting his boxers off is QUITE the task-

REDGLARE: You don't h4v3 to 1ntroduc3 1t to us. -guh. pets Nyalah's head. She knows a little too little about wilderness survival to consider what the next step AFTER this would be, or how bad it would be to try wandering out into the cold after getting soaking wet, but whatever. This is. pretty ok.-

NYALAH: (i love to die) -whispers at Redglare. Even in near death, she meme.-

KARKAT: =It's a 12th perigees miracle. He's going to help Dave with his undies like a good rail then help him in and also get the fuck in himself= I've never been happier to lose a fucking bet.

DAVE: -thanks karkat. he manages to get inside and FUCK ITS SO WARM IT MAKES HIS ENTIRE BODY TINGLE-

KARKAT: =it's hot as hell but guess what he's going to drink this water too becauae goddamn=

REDGLARE: -GODDAMN IS RIGHT-

NYALAH: -gargles water and ends up spitting it up. Her wide open broken horn is TOO SEARINGLY AWARE of temperature changes. Also she is probably making the water around her a kool-aid olive green.-

REDGLARE: -this is probably unsanitary what with HER open wound discoloring the water too.-

KARKAT: =to hell with sanitation tbh=

DAVE: -at least it's warm-

KARKAT: =his gills were dry and cracking and are now filtering their blood and various bacteria. YES. AT LEAST IS WARM=

NYALAH: -sighs, finally.... finally breathing easy.-

NYALAH: ....

NYALAH: this sucks

[[ Good thing that the temperature of the springs is hot enough to kill bacteria! They're getting clean, their wounds are being sanitized, and now they have plenty of water. No dehydration happening any time soon! ]]

NYALAH: -still sucks.-

REDGLARE: 1t d03s.

KARKAT: =Can the water also drown him? Plz, thnx. Hisses softly and just. Bye forever, sinks into it=

DAVE: -he's just gritting his teeth and letting himself settle-

NYALAH: -rests her head on the back of a rock.- i died like thr33 times

NYALAH: -sniffs-

NYALAH: what if steak happens right now i would eat so much

NYALAH: and have whipped cream donuts for desserts

REDGLARE: -She laughs, eyes sinking shut as she just... leans back.-

REDGLARE: th3r3's b4ts.

REDGLARE: 4lmost 4s good.

BATS: =how very dare??=

NYALAH: yeh rabies gives it flavor

DAVE: -peeks down to see where the fuck karkat went-

KARKAT: =hes just letting his gills get some use=

REDGLARE: C4n't b3 th3 worst of our probl3ms.

REDGLARE: -nudges at her weakly.-

REDGLARE: H4v3n't you h4d your shots.

NYALAH: -rrrrrs, eyes going a little glinty- could go for some shots

MINDFANG: -She is into the hot water up to her neck and it is the greatest feeling for her battered rib cage and near frozen extremities, its near god damn euphoric.-

NYALAH: ...

NYALAH: o shit

NYALAH: -reaches into her pocket and pulls out a WHOLE DRENCHED WEED.-

NYALAH: ................................ -snRRRRKS.-

NYALAH: they never took it

KARKAT: =eyeballs the wet weed and emerges slowly= What, you making tea?

REDGLARE: -She opens up her eye to look at it.-

REDGLARE: -snorts...-

DAVE: oh shit

DAVE: find a way for us to consume it effectively

MINDFANG: -Opens one eye at Nyahla and sees the one whole weed.-

MINDFANG: -Snrks.- You are quite the smuggler.

NYALAH: -she's too busy wheezing about the stupid doobie but also eyeballs everyone.- yes

NYALAH: -totally obligated to make nip tea now. Fuck.-

DAVE: you had pain relief all this time

NYALAH: no cups tho

NYALAH: ...

NYALAH: -just eats a piece of this blunt.-

REDGLARE: ...

REDGLARE: 1s th4t-

REDGLARE: c4n you do th4t?

REDGLARE: -squints...-

DAVE: thats one way to go about it

NYALAH: its nip

NYALAH: yes -Cat trolls do it all the time, just ask them.-

NYALAH: -passes redglare the bit weed-

KARKAT: Great just nibble a little of it. =sinks back in the water and sighs out his nose÷

MITUNA: -Doing a dead mans float in the water-

MINDFANG: -Is Mituna even alive-

DAVE: -ME NEXT ME NEXT-

REDGLARE: -nibbles and passes...-

MITUNA: -Unfortunately, he is very much alive-

MINDFANG: -You crazy kids and your wet weed nibbling.-

[[ The small pattering sounds return, little by little. ]]

REDGLARE: -Frowns, sitting up.-

[[ pitterpatter ]]

MINDFANG: -She rises out of the water some by sitting up straighter at the sound, and looking in the direction of where it is coming from if she can pinpoint it.- .......

KARKAT: =fins flick towards it, he will fucking eat whatever this is. He doesn't care anymore=

DAVE: -What the fuck NOW?!-

MINDFANG: -If its more wolves she is going to be pissed.-

NYALAH: -also rises, hiss faint in her throat.-

REDGLARE: -hefting that rock club and climbs out of the water ass naked to fight a wolf- >;I

DAVE: - he has no choice but to wait-

KARKAT: =redglares not going it alone. Here comes gives-none-fucks vantas=

MINDFANG: -Shes moving towards the edge and slowly lifting herself out of the water. Its difficult for her to want to leave the warmth thats soothing her body aches but danger takes priority.-

NYALAH: -low key 👀emojis tbh. I mean. If this is how it ends for Nyalah. Sure.-

[[ It's not a wolf....but a fish! An eyeless cave fish, to be precise. Isn't nature amazing? Except it's body is lying parallel to the floor, away from any water source. It flops. ]]

CAVE FISH: =flop flop flop!=

NYALAH: -mmmm oh my god. She's so hungry.-

KARKAT: =Alright, great he really will eat that. But more like eyeball it then approach... where did it come from?=

MINDFANG: -Stares at the eyeless fish. On one hand, potential food source. On the other, suspicion of any earth life form after the wolf incident.-

MINDFANG: Curious.

DAVE: does it have teeth  

NYALAH: -👁️👁️- i do

REDGLARE: To h3ll w1th 1t. -SORRY FISH. she's just gonna casually bash its head.- 1t's food.

[[ As soon as she does this, it twists around, revealing some biotech embedded into its side. Sprouting four, thin, metal limbs, it begins pattering back and forth, appearing somewhat confused. ]]

MINDFANG: -HHHHH. Of course.-

KARKAT: =LIFTS A ROCK. A BIG ROCK. TOO BIG FOR THE LITTLE BIOTECH=

MINDFANG: -She is doing the same as Karkat, only her rock is a bit smaller. Not everyone can have seadweller strength.-

KARKAT: =He's just frustrated and sick of all of every single turd. SMASHES it on the small thing=

DAVE: OH FUCK NO

KARKAT: =He'll do you this solid for not being an entire ass this whole time. Thanks for that, he appreciates it 👍=

[[ It deded. ]]

[[ Splat. ]]

[[ There is more skittering in the distance. ]]

REDGLARE: Sh1t. sh1t. -She got her hopes up, for a second. A second too long.-

SEAKRAIT: -And in the darkness of this area of cave she rolls in seemingly from nowhere, accompanied by... you know, some more friends.-

[[ Lampetra and some more angry Earth animals, specifically. ]]

MINDFANG: -Annnnnnnnd it just got worse.-

MINDFANG: -Shes not putting down her rock for you jerks.-

LAMPETRA: =Hello friends!=

NYALAH: -Endless torment. She hisses.-

KARKAT: =LIFTS HIS ROCK AGAIN.=

KARKAT: =He will bowl you hoes, wordlessly. Fuck you. All the way. 500%=

REDGLARE: Wh4t 4r3 you do1ng h3r3? -SHE'S WET AND NAKED AND THERE ARE JUST SO MANY HORRIBLE MONSTERS-

SEAKRAIT: -She's taking this chance in the larger cave space to put her back against Lampetra's and stand her ground against the scuttling creatures; there's a snowshoe hare, more wolves, a couple lynxes, oh and also A FUCKING BEAR.-

LAMPETRA: Just like old times, Huh?

SEAKRAIT: \|/e came to-- -FUCK. She's slicing at a leaping wolf.-

LAMPETRA: =He's batting aside a crazed bunny with his shield=

KARKAT: =FOR SOME REASON HE DOESN'T WANT TO BOWL THE BEAR= Oh good. The animals are doing our work for us. AND YET I CAN'T HELP BUT WANT TO ASSIST THEM. HMM. WEIRD!

REDGLARE: -Limping towards them and the fight. She's barely armed but she's still going to swing her rock down at one of the lynxes.-

KARKAT: =Redglare you missed the assholes.=

REDGLARE: Hff. N3v3rm1nd. Th4t c4n w41t. Wh4t 4r3 th3y.

KARKAT: =Growls, chucks a rock at a bear. Whatever.=

DAVE: -he's gonna need help out of this spring when everything calms down. for now, he watches-

NYALAH: -she can't possibly hope to defend herself in this state. Her side is still splitting with pain and fear is keeping her immobile for the moment. Does her best to wiggle out of the water at least.-

MINDFANG: I highly agree with that feeling. -It would be great if the animals killed those two. Although then she wouldnt get the chance to try and do it herself.... damn. Looks like shes helping.-

MINDFANG: -Time to punch another wolf in the face.-

LAMPETRA: =He raised his shield as the rabbit forcibly leapt at them, making a dull THONK against the metal.=

LAMPETRA: Long story short, Alternia dove too deep in trying to enhance biologicial technology. It became sentient.

NYALAH: -actually laughs over in her corner. Don't look at her.- nah shit bruh

[[ The lynx Redglare clonked staggered backward, only to move toward her, it's limbs contorting as it was forced forward again. ]]

SEAKRAIT: -huffs and slings her axe again, trying to batter the wolf down long enough that she can hit the exposed bioware-

REDGLARE: -As long as this club holds out, she's going to keep bashing, teeth gritted, looking for that horrible little thing keeping the corpse moving. SHES ALREADY KIND OF SHAKING.-

REDGLARE: How m4ny mor3?

[[ The bear roars an unnatural bear sound and charges at Karkat. ]]

LAMPETRA: Lots??

NYALAH: -curls in some elevated spot, possibly protecting Dave.-

KARKAT: =did it like the rock? He think that means yes. Alright. Time to sock it in its cute angry face with fish fist=

MINDFANG: And you had the pleasure of leading them all this way. -She growls and attacks one of the wolves with her strong robot fist while trying to locate the bioware to rip it out.-

[[ Eventually, Redglare's rapid, continuous bashing manages to strike precisely upon the bit of tech burrowed behind the ear of the lynx. The animal no longer moves. ]]

SEAKRAIT: -SLICE goes this biowolf, and she's spinning around to throw her axe toward the bear's back now that it's distracted. Bye axe tho...-

DAVE: -nyalah you're a babe-

DAVE: -keepin calm...-

NYALAH: -dave youre really nude rn.-

LAMPETRA: =Without having to spare a glance over his shoulder, he swung his shield around him and Seakrait, knocking back another wolf as it leapt at them.=

MITUNA: -Still floating in the water-

BIOBUNNY: =I'LL BITE YER LEGS OFF=

LAMPETRA: =kicks it!= This is just freaky, man!

BIOBUNNY: =flies off into the darkness=

SEAKRAIT: -bye bunnicula...-

DAVE: -i'm super naked yes but i am in this spring-

NYALAH: -now would be such a great selfie time tbh.-

NYALAH: -but alas...-

[[ The bear ROARS at the axe and the punch to the face. The axe hit a piece of bioware, but not the whole thing; it's sort of limping now, trying to wrestle Karkat. ]]

DAVE: -my camera was taken :(-

KARKAT: =dont worry they can kick the camera out these guys after fightingthese animals. Karkat quick to catch on at least foing to grab the bear muzzle to rip out the rest of the bioware.=

[[ The wolf does not appreciate Mindfang's groping and goes to nom her arm. But her efforts are partially successful. Her searching has uncovered biotech beneath the fur at its jawline. ]]

BEAR: -COLLAPSES HEAVY and probably a good bit onto Karkat. A blanket.-

MINDFANG: -It doesn't feel good to have it chewing on her circuits, but its better then having it chew on any other part of her. She grits her teeth and tries to hold it back like this while she claws at the biotech with her other hand.-

SEAKRAIT: -spin kicks another lynx; the animal parade is ALMOST done for now. This should be easy cleanup if they keep at it-

KARKAT: =Cozy as this is he throws the bear husk on some other animals. Dangerously close to Seakrait and Lampetra=

REDGLARE: -She is at least partially motivated by spite as she tries to rip the axe out of the bear's back, swinging down at the MONSTROSITIES.-

LAMPETRA: =at Karkat= :\ =Hey man, uncool.=

DAVE: -ARE YOU REALLY SAYING WHAT'S UNCOOL RIGHT NOW-

KARKAT: =He stares back, he doesn't fucking care=

SEAKRAIT: -ITS WHATEVER MAN. She leans out of the way with a pant-

NYALAH: -put some pants on, Dave. Nyalah is handing him her own pair of pants. She can stand around in boxers, it's fine.-

[[ Redglare's strife specibus switches from CLUBKIND to AXEKIND in a hilarious turn of events. ]]

NYALAH: -👀 -

[[ It's easy for Mindfang to feel around as the wolf is preoccupied with her other arm. Just be careful that the wiring doesnt consider you to be a better host! ]]

DAVE: -carefully uses arm strength alone to get himself OUT of the hotsprings despite thow bad it's making the pain shoot through his arms, too. his boxers are still right there, so he thankfully tries to maneuver the boxers AND nyalah's pants on-

NYALAH: -Finally. The dicks out thing was being really distracting.-

REDGLARE: -PROBABLY LOSES HER STALAGMITE AS A RESULT but whatever. ITS COOL. I mean it does kinda suck when someone takes your signature weapon though RIGHT- REDGLARE: -I MEAN GOSH THAT MUST REALLY SUCK-

[[ The stalagmite is indeed launched out of Redglare's hands, where it hits the rabbit squarely in the face as it reemerged from the shadows. ]]

MINDFANG: -IT BETTER NOT. Shes going to rip it out with her bare hand and try and crush it as fast as possible. Before her arm gets any more dented from these chomps.-

SEAKRAIT: Redglare! -decidedly tosses RG's cane her way now that the flurry of animal parts are slightly less encroaching. Glances around at the sea of faces and also ejects Dave's sword in his general direction-

REDGLARE: -WOW pettiness must really work......-

MITUNA: -Rises from the water, psionic energy skittering along his body. There's a lot of chaos happening. People fighting animals, two of those assholes that hurt them are here too. The screams hurt, makes it hard to focus, but his eyes start glowing.-

REDGLARE: -SKIDS THE AXE TOWARDS HER IN TURN as she catches it-

REDGLARE: ... th4nks.

DAVE: -YOU COULD HAVE IGNORED IT-

DAVE: -wait a second...tHATS HIS SWORD!!! AHH!!! HE GRABS IT-

KARKAT: =WHAT GOOD COP BAD COP BULLSHIT IS THIS=

NYALAH: -she wishes she was high right now. Hey cops. Where'd you put all her weed.-

MITUNA: -He's a chargin his lazor-

KARKAT: =please fry them=

REDGLARE: -WE ALL ATE IT NYALAH KEEP UP-

NYALAH: -she meant when they EMPTIED HER SYLLADEX but okay Rg. 👀-

SEAKRAIT: -we know nothing about any weed... no but really she nods at Redglare and scoops her axe back up to decidedly throw it down on this goddamn hare. STAY DOWN FOREVER.-

REDGLARE: -She stumbles under her own weigh, some of the adrenaline ebbing away as she manages to keep herself from falling by leaning on the stick. It's kind of a stumble but she's gonna try to dress herself at least slightly.-

[[ The hare as well as the biotech upon it is decidedly crushed, hopefully for the final time. It is still. ]]

NYALAH: -Lame. Oh well. It was worth it.-

SEAKRAIT: -wait fuck that's psionic energy over there. She grabs Lampetra's arm like WE SHOULD PROBS MOVE-

KARKAT: =nono, stay right there=

LAMPETRA: =Gets out of way, following after her. Maybe puts his shield to good use too.=

MITUNA: -HE'S A FIRIN HIS LAZOR BWWWWAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH-

NYALAH: B00

KARKAT: =good yes.=

[[ IT'S SUPER FUCKING LOUD. Let's also hope there's not a cave-in, folks. ]]

MITUNA: -Just gonna burninate everything in his line of sight. Yay.-

NYALAH: -Lucky she's out of RANGE.-

[[ Mituna pretty much purified the area of biotech, that's for sure! Another lynx, relatively untouched by anyone, is now burnt to a crisp. The biotech leaps off of it, on fire. It skittered across the ground toward the crew before fizzling out and falling limply at their feet ]]

REDGLARE: -huffs as she gingerly pulls on a pair of underpants and her tanktop, eyeing the line of destruction and the burned up animals in its path.-

MITUNA: -His gazeblast fizzles out and he just...floats himself to the edge of spring and sits, scowling at seacrate and lampetrol-

KARKAT: =huffs= Good. Good job Mituna. Now that that's handled. Let's take care of the other fucking parasites.

KARKAT: =HE'S GOT A HAND ON HIS ROCK=

NYALAH: -pads over to lick Mituna. Sniff his wounds.-

LAMPETRA: =brow raise= I'm Parasite.

MITUNA: -Why she lick me-

KARKAT: The first step is acceptance. The next is messier. =Baring fangs at her, gills flared=

LAMPETRA: =he held his shield across his body, shielding Seakrait too.=

LAMPETRA: You're really going to attack us now?

SEAKRAIT: STOP. \|/e didn't come here to fight.

SEAKRAIT: My name is Micexa Neshen, this is Hesony Zelleu. \|/e were-- team 87B of the legislacerators, with Terezi Pyrope.

MITUNA: and look a7 wha7 you le7 happen

LAMPETRA: LET happen?! We were trying to prevent it!

MITUNA: grea7 fucking job

KARKAT: =That makes him fume= IT SURE AS FUCK DIDN'T STOP YOU FROM-- OH. BY STANDING BY AND TAKING ORDERS? GREAT FUCKING JOB!

MICEXA: ...Sunny. It's alright.

HESONY: We could say the same for you-- =When Micexa spoke, he backed down, though his lip was still curled.=

REDGLARE: -She takes a sharp breath.- S-stop.

REDGLARE: 1 r3m3mb3r thos3 n4m3s.

REDGLARE: Sh3 told m3 4bout you.

NYALAH: -guh. This is very stressful for her. Watch her step aside to hack up the weed she ate earlier. Excuse.-

REDGLARE: -She slumps to sit. Weakly. The binding for her wound is long gone, now, and she eyes the discoloration again.-

KARKAT: =He's absolutely steamed= I REMEMBER THEM TOO, SOME FUCKING BOND.

HESONY: https://31.media.tumblr.com/b4b93178d916e9e0c52eeb0a23bf6adf/tumblr_inline_nejn5fCzWh1s4sxxd.gif

KARKAT: =eat his entire ass, son=

MICEXA: You saw that woman. If we had shown weakness or hesitance...

MICEXA: -her face twists somewhat- I was trying to warn you, to be compliant. For her sake. For all your sakes.

HESONY: And you didn't listen.

MICEXA: -rests a hand on Hesony's arm.- But it doesn't matter now. \|/e need to keep moving.

NYALAH: fuck you actually in the t33th broh -swallows dryly and stands. Hhh.-

KARKAT: SO WHAT? SHE COULD KILL HER LATER?? IT'S A FUCKING--=HOLD UP, DID SHE JUST SAY IT DIDN'T MATTER=

KARKAT: =DAVE. HOLD HIS FUCKING ROCK=

KARKAT: =BABY HOLD MY GODDAMN BOULDER=

MITUNA: you don7 ma77er

MICEXA: No. Maybe not. But blame certainly doesn't.

MICEXA: It won't make a difference to her now.

HESONY: Shut it Sparky.

NYALAH: (b33ch)

MITUNA: 347 MY 3N71R3 8ULG3 817CH 80Y

KARKAT: =Expels water so hard from his gills, yup. Sorry. He's throwing this boulder.=

MINDFANG: -Karkat you should probably throw the boulder, she endorses it.-

REDGLARE: -shitting FUCK she is going to try to push herself up and into the goddamn way as he starts to heave it.- DO NOT.

REDGLARE: -its... Not exactly the most graceful movement. She's stumbling and in pain just trying to get up that quick, but all the same.-

MINDFANG: -Redglare what are you DOING.-

KARKAT: =Stares at Redglare. Chest heaving.... he respects her. She was close to Terezi... and she shouldn't be moving. Drops it and pins his fins back, giving her a steady hand=

DAVE: -GIVE ME THE GODDAMN ROCK-

KARKAT: =bro ..... you are my rock=

NYALAH: -Gdi. Same tho. She's gay too.-

REDGLARE: look 4t us. W3 n33d. 4ny h3lp w3 c4n f1nd.

REDGLARE: W3 h4v3n't spok3n to our cr3w 1n d4ys 4nd w3 st1ll h4v3 our ord3rs to f1nd th3m.

HESONY: =he nodded at Redglare= We Have supplies for you.

HESONY: Water, food, winter clothes...

KARKAT: =They could kill and loot these two. Easy, but she's right. Clenches his jaw=

MICEXA: ...Just a few of your personal effects. The others have the rest. \|/e could only get so much before we ran.

MINDFANG: -She does indeed have a point. However, guys, once we are out of the cave then we kill them right?-

HESONY: =he nodded, confirming Micexa's words= We even managed to acquire one of your comms devices.

REDGLARE: W3—

REDGLARE: w3 n33d to cont4ct th3m.

REDGLARE: Th3r3 4r3 p3opl3 who d3s3rv3 to know.

MICEXA: -uncaptchalogues the communication device and offers it over to Redglare. She doesn't seem particularly proud about it.-

HESONY: =he took a few steps towards them, emptying his sylladex of vital supplies in question. There are a new change of clothes for everyone in various sizes, including warm jackets. Please dress yourselves.=

DAELOS: -Hunched against the wall, panting- watching the legiscerators with disdain and wariness.-

REDGLARE: -She takes it, letting a breath go. Then she turns over her shoulder and offers it to Karkat, instead.-

HESONY: =after he is finshed, he backed away again.=

MITUNA: -Still scowling at them, eyes glowing, ready. He's not above murder, right now.-

KARKAT: =Takes it. It feels heavy he just goes off to a corner to like, fuck himself with it or whatever=

NYALAH: -at least gets a jacket on, not caring that she's dripping wet.-

MICEXA: -once he checks it he should be able to tell it was Terezi's-

DAELOS: -Helps Nyalah get her clothes on before bothering with himself.-

REDGLARE: -Shaky and shivery as she goes to get the clothes on. She's a little bit feverish, right now, but it already feels a little better.-

NYALAH: -Stop it, you loaf. Now she's helping Daelos.- dumbass ass ass

KARKAT: =ok in that case hes going in the corner to cry=

DAVE: -looks at those winter clothes desperately. HE NEEDS-

DAVE: -BABE NO-

DAELOS: I canter even believe you are moving around of your own volition, let alone pausing to insult me -FUSSES, BITCHES.-

HESONY: =take them, Thinskin!=

DAELOS: -Lets her help him tho because....He's so tired.-

NYALAH: not you

REDGLARE: You r4n. 4r3 you go1ng b4ck?

MINDFANG: -She doesnt exactly feel like trusting them, but quite honestly what is the worst that clothes could do shes grabbing sizes that will fit her and pulling them on as quick as she can.-

MINDFANG: -The jacket takes a moment or two, the wolf teeth did a number on her robo arm at the elbow joint, its stiff.-

HESONY: =stares at Redglare in complete silence then LAUGHS=

MICEXA: -glances at Sunny. Same...-

MICEXA: There's no going back now.

HESONY: Are you kidding? We go back, we die.

MITUNA: -Uses his psionics to dress, because his left arm is fucking useless.-

DAVE: -crawlings a no and he's gonna need some assistance standing up- someone toss me clothes for fucks sake

MITUNA: you 5hould go back

DAELOS: It would only be the begining of your recompense

NYALAH: -Are u sure Mituna? Nyalah licked it.-

DAELOS: -DISDAINFUL-

MITUNA: -It's fucking broken but thanks kitty-

HESONY: =flips Mituna off=

NYALAH: -purr purr purr.-

MINDFANG: -Dave the human, you are so sad. She takes some pity and brings him clothes that she thinks will fit him.- Please tell me you have some way of getting dressed yourself.

MITUNA: -Flings a rock at his head-

NYALAH: h33 h33

KARKAT: =thank you Mituna=

MICEXA: -why is Terezi's new swarm so bad at listening jfc-

DAVE: no ive lost the use of all parts of my body -pretends to go limp but that hurts too- FUCK

KARKAT: =GEE=

HESONY: =the rock bounces off his noggin. There is a little bit of blood, but for the most part, he's hard-headed=

MINDFANG: ........ Incredi8le.

HESONY: =staring at mituna flatly=

KARKAT: =wipes his face then goes to help Dave get dressed. Gives him something to do= Move. I got it.

KARKAT: Not you Dave. You don't move.

DAVE: hey i was gonna get pretty then go over to you DAVE: how am i gonna play hero now

MINDFANG: -Thank you Karkat, please take care of your rail so she does not.- Alright.

MINDFANG: -Moves aside and takes a moment to herself to roll up her sleeve and inspect the damage to her robot limb.-

KARKAT: You can do that later. =helps him out=

MITUNA: -Now Sunny is the one being flipped off-

[[ It got wolf chomped pretty great. There are some small dents in it, in the very least. ]]

MICEXA: \|/henever you're ready, we'll make our way out of here. I have a plan to get us out of this state.

MICEXA: ...But.

REDGLARE: but?

HESONY: =busy flipping Mituna off again=

DAVE: -fine- so we need to go to minnesota

MICEXA: -glances at Redglare specifically- You're badly infected.

MINDFANG: -Earth sucks ass. God damn wolves.-

DAVE: yeah redglare

DAVE: holdin us all up with your stanky leg and shit

REDGLARE: 1 c4n w4lk.

MINDFANG: For now you can.

MINDFANG: What a8out l8ter.

MICEXA: It could spread to your heart.

KARKAT: =dave please= You need that taken care of. If i can't kill them them you can't have a bum leg.

HESONY: ....She's right.

KARKAT: =said while dressing Dave, not even looking at them=

REDGLARE: 1t's—

REDGLARE: just p41n. 1 c3n h4ndl3 th4t.

REDGLARE: -glances back at Karkat... And Mindfang... and then both Hesony and Micexa.-

REDGLARE: -Hisses softly, under her breath.- sh1t.

HESONY: I get it, okay? Pyropes can go a long way before keeling but this is different.

DAVE: sure

DAVE: and i was just cold the other night

DAELOS: -Does he have his tool box back?-

KARKAT: Great. Thanks.

KARKAT: =AT REDGLARE=

KARKAT: =the other two can die in a hole.=

REDGLARE: -She is not talking as she slumps back to sitting.-

MICEXA: -frowns, quiet for a long moment.-

MICEXA: ...I can make it quick.

HESONY: =been there almost done that=

REDGLARE: 4lr1ght.

DAVE: -o boy-

KARKAT: =next time try harder=

MITUNA: um

MITUNA: UM

HESONY: =waves mituna over= We're gonna need you, Sparky.

MITUNA: WH47 7H3 FUCK 4C7U4LLY

MICEXA: I need a belt, towels, and yes, you-- psionic-- I'm going to need you to cauterize the wound.

DAELOS: Hold on a moment

DAELOS: Please

HESONY: =welp, he's unbuckling his own and sliding his belt from his waist.=

MINDFANG: Cauterize the.... -Oh.-

DAELOS: -A little loudly-

MICEXA: -glances at Daelos-

DAELOS: Is my toolbo% in your possesion

DAELOS: By any chance...

MITUNA: 3XCU53 7H3 5H17 0U7 0F MY 5P1N4L CR3V1C3

DAVE: -pulls karkats face into him because he knows he can't handle this-

MICEXA: The only other thing we have is... Just give it to them, Sunny.

KARKAT: =He's seen ear Dave, but it's appreciated. He still looks tho,redglare needs things to bite down on=

KARKAT: =She can have his arm or something=

HESONY: =His sigh is hitched and he produced Terezi's cane. Just kind of...holds it.=

DAVE: -no????-

DAELOS: -He sighs- Nothing else

DAELOS: -HE HAD SOME WEEDS. HE WANTED TO GET REDGLARE NICE AND STONED FIRST BEFORE THEY LOP OFF HER LEG.-

HESONY: Sorry. =he says, kind of lamely.=

REDGLARE: -u giant blue stoner-

NYALAH: -It's okay, Daelos. Weed just can't solve every problem.-

MITUNA: -That...probably wouldn't help???-

KARKAT: =GLARES at Daelos or he would but stares at her cane=

DAELOS: -It's better than nothing.-

KARKAT: =SPACE WEED=

DAELOS: Ah well...proceed

HESONY: =Wanna nom on this, Rg?=

REDGLARE: -SHES NOT GONNA BITE HER SWORD CANE THAT'S SOME KINDA DESECRATION-

MICEXA: -she's too busy tying Redglare's thigh with a belt to offer her something softer to bite-

HESONY: =Hey, their buddy Kreyse had this made, it aint from some piece of shit steel=

KARKAT: =no buddies are here for you, sir=

NYALAH: -gotta high tail it out of this cave. She can't do this. Don't worry, she's not going far.-

DAVE: -ur buddy is dead-

MITUNA: wai7 5o you wan7 me 7o gazebla57 her leg

HESONY: =Too soon, Dave.=

MITUNA: wha7 7he fuck

KARKAT: =he would also say they weren't buddies. They're both dickwads=

HESONY: =carefully turns to Mituna= Unless you want her to bleed to death?

REDGLARE: -shes gonna stuff some coat fabric into her mouth instead, that may work.-

MICEXA: -just kind of stiff... this isn't very fun. But at least she knows what this is like. She stuffs some more extra fabric under her leg to make it comfortable and eventually catch some of the blood before picking up her axe to clean it off, turned away where Redglare doesn't have to see-

MICEXA: Do you want a warning?

MITUNA: UM W417 HOLD ON FUCK DUD3 H0LY 5H17 -He's not ready!-

HESONY: ....

HESONY: =to Mituna= Do you want a warning?

REDGLARE: -closes her eyes and shakes her head. SHE is ready, at least.-

MITUNA: Y35???????

HESONY: =Holds up his hand. 5.=

HESONY: =puts down a finger. 4.=

MICEXA: \|/e can't wait for more of them to find us.

MICEXA: -turns toward Redglare, glancing at Hesony and counting in her head as she raises the axe.-

MITUNA: -He's really jittery and sparky-

HESONY: =3.....2.....1.=

MICEXA: -JUST DONT GAZEBLAST THE REST OF HER LEG OFF.-

MICEXA: -and with the rest of the countdown, she swings the axe, quick and sure.-

REDGLARE: -It is bloody, but done. She is shaking and not looking at the damage. It's hardly a delicate surgery, but she keeps her eye open through it, clamping down hard on the cloth and muffling her scream.-

HESONY: =He just...puts a hand on Redglare's shoulder, squeezing it. There there.=

MITUNA: -He's screaming too, and that's helping him keep from vomiting at the moment. There is enough focus, to concentrate his blast on the stump of her leg, the scent of seared flesh fills the air-

MICEXA: -moves the missing leg out of the way for Mituna-

HESONY: =wow, he's so out of practice at comforting others it shows.=

NYALAH: -the explosion of blood is making her gag and hurl in the other cave chamber. There's nothing in her digestive sac to upheave but here she is.-

REDGLARE: -okay NOw She is SURE BLACKING OUT. so much for staying awake.-

KARKAT: =There to catch her=

REDGLARE: >;'I

KARKAT: =he's sorry about all this. And it shows=

MITUNA: -Once he's done he just....lurches forward and dry heaves bile-

HESONY: Good job, Sparky.

KARKAT: =yep....he frowns then glares at Hesony=

MITUNA: -Throws up in his general direction. Fuck you buddy??????-

MICEXA: -gritting her teeth as she quickly cleans off the blood on her axe. She stows it away. She's sorry, too, but it won't do much good to say.- MICEXA: She should be okay. MICEXA: Just needs rest. MICEXA: \|/e're heading for a compound. The blizzard's heavy, so we have some time before communication can reach them about Sunny and I. \|/e should be able to get transport and maybe a few supplies if we hurry.

Last Monday at 5:09 PM

HESONY: =makes a face at Mituna but...turns back to Redglare. Taking out a small first aid kit, he covered Redglare's affected area with saline before placing gauze pads over it and wrapping it up in bandage.=

NYALAH: -stumbles back into the chamber. Sweaty and ashened faced and just. Done with everything.- lets fucking do this shit

KARKAT: =he can carry redglare and he also got dressed at some point, not liking at the doucheduo= Then let's go.

DAELOS: Yes

DAELOS: -Are they actually getting out of this alive? It doesn't feel real.-

HESONY: =that's the plan=

[[ The ground had gradually begun to incline upwards over the duration of a few hours, making the climb slightly more difficult. However, it may be a good sign they are heading towards the surface once again. ]]

NYALAH: -bottom line is, she's scrambling for her life. Panting heavily. Possibly feverishly.-

DAELOS: -He's basicallly dragging himself like a large blue slug, lagging far behind the rest of the group.-

REDGLARE: -murmuring fitfully, now and then. She's out with a cold sweat. Maybe she's wandering in the dream bubbles...-

(FEFETASPRITE): -she has a dream of a certain catfish ghost waving to her as she floats through the void.- 3833

MICEXA: -waits a little and offers Daelos a hand. She managed to carry him down this hole, she can probably help him out of it.-

HESONY: =after he believed Karkat had sufficiently calmed down a bit, he fell in step beside him. Wordlessly, he handed over the cane to him.=

MITUNA: -That's Karkat's secret. He's never calm.-

DAVE: -bringing up the rear, sword in hand. significantly slow, but it works for their efforts, even if he does get hit with extreme pains from time to time-

MITUNA: -He could just...float you. You don't have to suffer my guy-

DAVE: -GIVE YOUR PSIONICS A FUCKING REST-

DAVE: -no pain no gain-

MITUNA: -No?????-

KARKAT: =Truth. He's just carrying Redglare but he takes her cane without a word. Looking over it sadly, silently and continuing to walk.=

KARKAT: =Also dave don't be dumb=

KARKAT: =Same to you Mituna=

DAVE: -I'm NOT i'm MOVING myself-

MICEXA: -gdi, she glances at Sunny and the human. Pls help this weird alien kid-

MINDFANG: -Dont worry if one of them falls she will drag them-

DAVE: -HE'S OKAY-

MINDFANG: -Are you sure Dave, she could always drag you.-

DAVE: -how is that any better?!-

MINDFANG: -Would you rather be left behind?-

DAVE: -yeah actually-

HESONY: =ugh, FINE, miss! He fell back in line and scooped Dave up in a fireman's carry=

HESONY: =carefully=

DAVE: oh hell no

KARKAT: =stares into Hesony's fucking soul=

MITUNA: i go7 him

DAVE: you gonna go for my throat again

DAVE: if you do it might make for an artistic death picture

DAVE: i dont think i had enough of a concussion before

HESONY: Shut up. I'm Helping.

MITUNA: -Floats Dave away from Sunny-

MITUNA: i go7 you bromigo

DAVE: put me down

HESONY: =HANGS ON =

DAVE: OW FUCK

MITUNA: -Do not break the dave?-

MICEXA: -stares at the ceiling like jfc- Infighting isn't going to get us to the surface any faster.

MITUNA: le7 him go bulgero7

HESONY: =At Mituna= You are being childish.

MICEXA: Sunny, just let him go. If they want to waste their energy, let them.

KARKAT: =good Mituna, FAST BUILDING HISS= DON'T TOUCH HIM. DON'T TOUCH ANYONE. DON'T TALK. FUCK OFF.

MICEXA: \|/e've done what we can.

DAVE: - DONT WANT TO BE A GAME OF TUG o WAR-

HESONY: =one by one removes his fingers=

DAVE: -the pain from the resistance is a lot MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND GUYS-

KARKAT: =allow him to motivate you. Grabs the wrist= Go to the only person here that can stand you.

KARKAT: =HE WILL FIGHT WITH REDGLARE ON HIS BACK but he'd rather not=

MITUNA: -Shhhh, he's got you Dave. He should feel floaty now, maybe even a little tingly. Enjoy the ride Dave, you earned it.-

MICEXA: He was trying to help. That boy won't last much longer on his feet, and we can't afford to wait.

KARKAT: He's socially inept along with being a dick. Use words not that he'd take the help. Now stop fucking around or I will literally fucking eat your hand.

HESONY: =just glaring down at all these pipsqueaks in this 7'5" glory.=

DAVE: mituna dont

DAVE: no

DAVE: stop over exerting the mind you just got back

MITUNA: i go7 him

DAVE: oh christ

KARKAT: =HE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HEIGHT MY GUY=

MITUNA: 5hu7 up bro7a7o you weigh fuck all

DAVE: whatever

REDGLARE: -She might be scolding people to pretend to get along if she were awake, but she's still super unconscisous

MITUNA: like a bean

MICEXA: -growls. He already let go pls-

KARKAT: =He didn't punch him at least.=

MITUNA: bean dave

HESONY: =jerks his wrist from Karkat and just stomps ahead to scout out an exit to this stupid cave.=

KARKAT: =THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT STRING BEAN. Adjusts Redglare gently and walks on=

DAVE: shut up

MITUNA: mi57er beeeeheheeeeeneh

DAVE: why

MICEXA: -watches after Sunny... they promised to do something but it sure isn't easy. Not that she expected it to be. Of course they hate them, after what happened. She hates herself, too. But she keeps giving herself reasons to keep moving, and maybe one day, she will figure out why.-

HESONY: =Fuck yeah, it was hard! It was beyond him how Terezi could get along with so much of the disagreeable sorts, but they did promise. No matter how much he wanted to leave them to their own devices, he couldn't. If he and Miss died because of these people....well...at least he could say, "Look, Rez, I tried, but your friends are real assholes."=

[[ Soon he is able to hear a very faint howling of the wind, and far up head, there is a sliver of flickering light coming from behind a thin crevice. ]]

MITUNA: -I mean. She'd agree. We are assholes. That's why she loves us.-

HESONY: =She loved us too! As least I have the common decency to use past tense!=

DAVE: -I'M THE ASSHOLE?????-

DAVE: -IN THIS SITUATION????-

MITUNA: -Honestly go fuck yourself her love continues in death-

MITUNA: -I MIGHT KNOW JUST A TAD BIT MORE ABOUT THE DEAD THAN YOU-

MICEXA: -YALL... chill...-

HESONY: =You probably know 100% more about the dead than me!=

MICEXA: -oh ok-

HESONY: =eventually he's coming back down towards them to report=

HESONY: Now try not to give yourself wedgies, but I see light back there.

HESONY: =jabs his thumb in the direction he came=

MICEXA: Everyone ready for the storm?

HESONY: Unless you wish to stay in Here of all places, of course.

NYALAH: i say it again

NYALAH: lets fucking do this thing -not stopping. She's doing the whole wheezy climb up.-

[[ When they get to the crevice, they will see that some of the bigger trolls will have to side step through it. ]]

HESONY: =he holds his hand up to Nyalah, not touching her. Everyone seemed to have a problem with that LAST time.= Wait. I will make sure it is clear.

HESONY: =he turned and shimmied through, glancing at his device before looking ahead into the storm. Not long after, he waved for the others to come out. He's even going to put his shield over the entrance so yall don't get snow in your faces. Your welcome.=

NYALAH: -she's too tired to notice these things. Her energy is at max cap.-

MICEXA: -nods and ushers everybody through. LETS GET THIS ROAD ON THE SHOW-

LATULA: -SHE'S not passed out at least... INTO THE COLD-

[[ Using a handy dandy GPS to get them to the nearest town, Tanana, the group sees their first signs of civilization as the lights of the small city appear on the horizon. It has a population of 308. ]]

NYALAH: -nice town. And just as she's thinking about it, she collapses. Blacked out again.-

HESONY: =just...looks at her then glances up at the rest of the crew= You gonna rip my arm off if I attempt to carry her?

NYALAH: -Fuck u. She still has 6 more lives left. She's GOOD. And also unmoving, faceplanted in the snow.-

MITUNA: -FLOATS HER TOO-

DAVE: mituna

DAVE: no

MITUNA: mi7una ye5

KARKAT: =he can't carry everyone but he could try, sighs= Just let him carry her for now since he learned how to use words.

KARKAT: No one wants to be around the other longer than we have to.

MICEXA: -she's not slowing down this time.- \|/e should get close, find somewhere to hide you all... I'll go in and get transport.

MICEXA: -glances at Sunny-

MICEXA: No guarantees we'll be able to make an easy stop after this. \|/e should get as many supplies as we can.

HESONY: =to Mituna= You're gonna burn yourself out keeping that up.

HESONY: =He nodded once Miss spoke and gathered Nyalah into his arms.= Good plan, say we're going on a road trip. Say The Expunger told us to hit the road or else. =He's trying to be funny. Is it working?=

MITUNA: already did i7 once and i7 wa5 doing 5ome7hing a lo7 harder 7han 7hi5

NYALAH: -if she were conscious, she would be snickering cuz Mituna said he "did it". Oh also he said hard.-

NYALAH: -ragdolls in Sunny's arms. Noodlecat.-

HESONY: =He swears that every single one of them is purposely trying to make his life difficult=

MITUNA: -Ye-

NYALAH: -stfu she only weighs like 3 potatoes. Weak.-

HESONY: There are forests bordering the town. We can remain there while you obtain transportation.

HESONY: Be careful. The Expunger may Have already delivered a warning.

MICEXA: \|/e'll see. -looks at Hesony for a few moments... and then OFF SHE GOES-

MICEXA: -Why does this feel so familiar?? Oh wait-

HESONY: =HE'S TRYING TO IGNORE THAT=

MICEXA: -turns around real quick, runs back over to Sunny... kisses him right on the mouth.- MICEXA: -RUNS OFF FOR REAL THIS TIME-

DAVE: -wow. such romance. very love. wow.-

HESONY: =He returned the kiss, watching her run off. Just like sweeps before. Wow. So familiar it burns.=

HESONY: =He led the group into the forest, to wait and kept watch upon the city for any sign of activity. It isn't until later that he realizes he's alone with all these people who probably hate him. Well, probably isn't the right word so much as definitely.=

HESONY: :(

MITUNA: -Suck it up buttercup-

DAVE: -definitely-

HESONY: =Stick it where the sun dont shine, Sparky.=