#if you would like me to ramble about some of the mentioned interpretations and headcanons I'm rotating I would be glad to btw. but its a lo

[gophergal]

I know fuck all about tf2 except for character names. Most I got is you and a few other mutuals posts, and they're 10/10. How does the game..... work exactly? Like is there plot? Is it first person shooter sort of thing? Is there a tf1?

I could google it but that's not nearly as fun

OH BOY GET READY FOR THE B I G R AM B L E

WHAT THE FUCK IS TF2?

It's a team based first person shooter published by Valve (of portal and half life fame) in 2007 with nine classes to choose from, each with strengths countered by other classes (for example, the Spy is often a counter against the Sniper and Engineer. Respectively, by picking off the Sniper with a quick, stealthy backstab or by destroying the Engineer's machines). The game has been free to play since 2009 (i think. grain of salt please), and has a healthy playerbase to this day, aside from the bots. But not every tf2 fan actually plays the game. I play sometimes, but mostly just rotate the characters in my brain like a microwave burrito.

It is ALSO, however, a multimedia franchise. Aside from the game, which shows off worldbuilding and characterization through the environment and character dialogue (as well as the update announcement flyers on the official blog), there are also animated shorts and comics created by Valve that further flesh out the world and characters of TF2. Frankly, I think you should give the Meet The Team shorts a go if nothing else. They're iconic. It's hard to pick favorites, but I'm partial to Meet the Medic (obviously), Meet the Engineer (which I can quote verbatim), and Meet the Sniper.

Broadly, the world and aesthetics of TF2 are based on 60's/70's cold war thrillers and spy movies. Think James Bond and the Manchurian Candidate. These impeccable vibes are then wrapped neatly in a cartoony artstyle that wasn't common at the time (and arguably still isn't. I'm pretending that fortnight doesnt exist, as is custom). On a related note, the soundtrack FUCKS SEVERELY. Like. They just DO. They have influence from Jazz, Funk, and miltary marching songs, with more specific influences for individual characters (ex: country western for engineer, polka for medic, and bagpipes for demoman)

An important thing to note is that every class is a play on some stereotype from the movies that inspired the vibes:

Heavy Weapons Guy is a husky ruskie and a man of few words, but he has hidden depths. He's a family man, most importantly, and has been supporting and protecting his mother and younger sisters since his father was killed when he was a teenager. He has a close bond with the Medic and speaks highly of the Engineer ("Engineer is credit to team!"). In a debatably canon piece of dialogue from TellTale's Poker Night At The Inventory, he is revealed to have a PhD in Russian Literature.

Engineer is a texan with 11 PhDs in hard science. He exudes southern hospitality and seems like the most sane man on the team. He also takes great joy in the death and destruction his weapons cause, and ALSO helps the Medic in performing deeply unethical experiments that go against the laws of nature for curiosity sake. He's the third in a line of engineers, btw, and his grandfather basically conquered death. Which isn't super relevant, but I feel is a good lead in to some of the wackier elements of this world I would like to mention.

And every character is like this to some degree. Some more so than others- Soldier is basically just "how american can a man be before it starts impacting his mental health" and Pyro is unknown in terms of nationality, gender, and background

TF2 has a plot by the way! Yes, there is a reason for these many dudes in funny hats to be fighting. They are fighting over gravel. Yeah. So, these two brothers are fighting over land willed to them by their father (who died in the 1890's) which is largely useless aside from having a lot of gravel. Their names are Redmond and Blutarch Mann, and they're the ceos of their own corporations. Reliable Excavation & Demolitions (RED) and Builder's League United (BLU) respectively. They each hired mercenaries to fight a proxy war for them with the goal of owning it all. All the while, a third party, The Administrator, has been playing both sides of the Gravel War to keep it going as long as possible. Why? It's a mystery...

RAPID FIRE TF2 WORLDBUILDING BULLSHITTERY BE UPON YE:

(most of this is just stupid shit that was made up for Pure Random Funny HaHa and has very little bearing on the plot, but tells you a LOT about the tone of the franchise)

Rocket Jumping (that is, shooting a rocket propelled grenade at your feet and crouch-jumping at the same time to launch yourself into the air) was a technique pioneered by Shakespearicles, the STRONGEST POET TO EVER LIVE. He also invented the concept of a Second Floor in a building

Btw, stairs were not invented when the second floor was invented. I want you to take a wild guess how people got to the second floor before stairs were invented. (hint: it involves explosives)

Stairs were invented by Abraham Lincoln. He died due to rocket jumping up said stairs which caused him to accelerate rapidly into a wall. He was also the first Pyro in the 1890s.

New Zealand sank below the ocean sometime in the 40's. By which I mean it was intentionally sank because a Jor-el knockoff believed that the world was ending and that going underwater was the only way to save the nation.

CisMpreg exists. This fact is Medic's fault.

OK But What About Team Fortress 1?

So, its. Not complicated but it's not exactly simple. Quick answer, the original TF game has nothing to do with TF2. Team Fortress was originally a mod for the game Quake and has the same basic gameplay premise as it's successors (team based FPS with 9 classes) and quite a few maps have actually been remade for TF2. It was released in 1996, so, as TF2 was taking A Very Long Time to complete, Valve released a sort of... updated version that was meant to hold fans over. It uses the half life 2 engine, I believe, and was released in 1999. It is called Team Fortress Classic and it's only a LITTLE confusing to research I swear.

TFC takes place in the same universe as TF2, but in the 1930's instead of the 60's. Ignore the scifi/modern looking tech. Don't worry about it. This has no bearing on TFC, really, because it was only confirmed in one of the comics released in 2014. The TFC team matters to the comic plot, but is otherwise kinda just. there. Like, they only exist in the Mann Co No More story line and otherwise just exist.

Fun fact: TFC (the game) was updated to change the ingame class models to more accurately represent the appearance given to them in the comics.

For example, look at the glow up given to the TFC Medic! (original on the left, updated on the right)

In Conclusion:

I will be surprised anyone actually reads all of this, but that is my rambling summary of what in the fuck TF2 is. To be fair, the game is richly detailed but also kinda sparse at the same time. Its all vibes and interpretation my dude. Honestly I think what has made TF2 so popular and long lasting (lore wise) is related to what early FNAF games had going on

[attyrocious]

cross posting yesterday's rambling thread for posterity and because tumblr lets me edit things. anyway this is a sorta long thing and i might add things i forgot to mention in the twt thread

i tend to draw on-model canon because im a coward + just personal preferences. but the way i convert the canon designs into my artstyle is that i take the distinct features oda gives them and then combine it with personal headcanons to complete what should look like a unique human. Starting with Trafalgar Law, who is unfortunately a bland-ass conventionally pretty boy

someone commented a while ago the law hat drawing tutorial i made a while ago didn't make much sense and i realize its bc of the specific way i draw law's face: heart shaped (ba-dum-tss). That meaning, a narrow chin widening into a mild defined jaw, wide cheekbones, and up to his know-it-all brain dome.

given that, the pudgy guitar pick shape of his head i mentioned here should make a lot more sense.

i don't think this design point is unique to me, as most conventional pretty anime boy gets given jaws like this. a lot of law artists tend to veer into this head shape. just how life be sometimes. other points: flat, thick eyebrows is bc im a hairy gal and i need to feel better about myself.

Killer gets to be more interesting, because he shouldn't be considered conventionally attractive. my idea behind killer's is that those individual features is smth he would be insecure with enough to hide himself in a helmet but i draw him with all the love in the world actually. i'd like to think its how kid sees him or yknow, law, bc he's my kin assigned blorbo and maybe you ship lawkill as a guilty pleasure too i mentioned before (and ruined people's days) when i said whenever i draw killer he looks like griffith before i put on his goatee. the upper half of his face is distinctly feminine, with the lower half kinda over compensating. other than that uhh...idk. stan killer

Kidd is the bane of my existence, i feel like i can never draw his face consistently. yet at the same time he's so damn fun to draw everyone gotta try it.

my problem with kidd is that this mf does have eyelids. most kidd painters out there interpret this as him having deep set eyes (think Matt Smith or jeffrey star) . and yeh skill issue on me i should practice that. other notes, i try to make him younger than canon makes him look. he is my babygirl and he deserves to look cuddly. my band au kidd version has the honor of being allowed some chubs. he's just tries to look older and more menacing with edgy makeup. also i try to give him dimples when i can because, well i can.

Rosinante last bc i lost steam after kidd. the thing abt cora is that aside from not having eyebrows, everything is structured with the generic one piece man template. which means i gotta do everything myself doffy is there bc the way to figure out how to draw these two is to give them minor differences from each other, that being doffy gets slightly sharper features. in canon, these two are also rly wide boys (more of an oda style feat tbh) but i make them long. though bigger brained donquixote artists know that of these two brothers, doffy should be the wiry-er built. anyway that's it. in conclusion, i need to draw more girls actually i feel like im becoming misogynistic by osmosis from oda's style and now i draw girls all looking the same too.

[crazylittlejester]

You should totally yap about Warriors and his journal!!!!! 🫶

@taddy-cat @amateur-ace @hero-of-the-wolf

*breaks knuckles* okay okay okay

SO: I have this headcanon (which I cannot remember for the life of me if it’s something I completely made up or if he has a notebook in LU/his game-) that Warriors has a journal that he carries around with him pretty much everywhere. It’s not his first one, he has several he’s already completed filled out that are locked up somewhere secret back home, but these journals have EVERYTHING in them

These journals started out as places to take notes when he’d first joined the army and was getting a little bit of an education, he didn’t want to forget anything so he wrote it all down. Then they were just PAPER, something he could use to write letters to home, but as everything started happening the things these letters contained weren’t things he could tell his family and they never got sent or torn out of the journals. They didn’t necessarily contain military secrets (not at this point), just things he couldn’t tell another soul but he couldn’t continue to keep in his head. He needed to get it OUT, so he wrote it down in his native language that no one around him really understands so that information and those thoughts were safe. If anyone DID get a hold of those books they’d never understand it, and they’d at the very least be significantly slowed down because they’d have to take the time to translate it. The writing is cramped and frantic and the pages are tear stained in his more letter like entries and it’s damn near illegible at times, but its a way for him to just get it OUT so he can shove it away

Some of the journals from the war have pages torn out, completely or with just enough page left to read a little of the words on them. Those missing pages were burned and forgotten, they held memories Warriors himself can’t recall anymore. There’s a reason they’re gone

These journals are something he’s always kept on him, since the age of 16, and eventually he started using them for MORE than just to write letters that would never be sent, he started using them once again for notes. For strategies and plans and details of war. Battles planned out, notes for fellow soldiers, what worked what didn’t, documentation of battles won and lost. Some of these pages were translated and written out in neat, perfect handwriting and turned over to Zelda after the war to be preserved in history books, others to be used to better the army

Every page is dated, but the journals arent sectioned into “letters” and “notes”. If he wants information he has to scroll through and look for the date it was written, everything’s mixed together, separated by quick, harsh lines of ink between blocks of text

These books contain the hopes and dreams of a teenage boy, detailed analyses of the hyrulian army, the rage of a young man, ramblings of someone who felt truly broken, burned memories, meticulously sketched out fields with hastily drawn troop positions, a doodle or two from Mask

But more recently: In addition to this, one he keeps on him currently contains notes on the others. At first their weak points and important information about them ranging anywhere from “Wind has a peanut allergy” to “Don’t mention goats around Twi unless you have time to listen to him yap”. In those first weeks these notes could certainly be interpreted as him planning to do wrong, but that was never his intent. He has notes on his fellow soldiers weaknesses from his own era because he’s so used to studying people and helping them grow. He SHARES these notes with them, not that they can read them, but he tells them what he notices in a kind way and helps them improve and marks their progress

These books ARE his brain, he’s a damn genius who can’t organize his thoughts. He needs to see it all in a physical way in order to process it, though he’s not so stupid as to mention anything in these books that could be used to take down the queen, even if they are in another language. He’s not going to risk it

anyways thats my headcanon lol

[2hoothoots]

So I was going through your blog (again) and found some of your stuff mentions fsau Raz having ADHD, as somebody with adhd I’m intrigued, may I have some of those headcanons (canons??) related to that? Also, I would give “a penny for your thoughts” but I’m out of pennies, so here’s various images of a drawing of ur blorbo I put next to my animals, note that a rock had to be added in one picture to keep him from flying away (BONUS: his now permanent place with the wifi guardian frog)

NOTHING brings me more joy than seeing physical drawings of these guys, like, out and about. in situations. thank you for this gift, and ALSO for the great ask because it's a perfect chance to ramble

so first of all, canon Raz having ADHD is very real to me. he's constantly fidgeting and moving around, getting distracted by sidequests and scavenger hunt objectives, always talking to himself out loud, gotta write everything down so he remembers it because there's so much to DO!, running away from home because his dad yelled at him one time and now Raz assumes he must hate him forever... i could go on, but i think there's a lot of room for interpretation there!

in my headcanon, he never got diagnosed as a kid. maybe there were some notes about it in his reports each year, sure - but a little hyperactivity and distractability never seemed to slow him down. he excelled in lessons and on missions, and when he was with his family their performances gave him something to focus that energy into. it was only really when he turned 18 and graduated to a full agent that the cracks started to show.

because there's a big difference between the responsibilities you have as a minor, and the responsibilities you have as an 18-year-old living away from home! one who's expected to cook and clean for themselves, and take care of adult life stuff, and also work the 9-to-5 office job he's just graduated into that involves sitting in front of a computer and write reports all day.

short-term, he found he could get himself to power through a deadline with energy drinks and psi-pops (a lot of psi-pops...)

long-term, something had to give. he was working himself to exhaustion, constantly stressed, swinging between days spent staring at his computer screen doing nothing and all-nighters desperately trying to finish his paperwork before the deadline. it just didn't make any sense to him. he'd finally started his job as a Psychonaut, he was living independently like he'd always dreamed, he'd gotten top surgery after planning it for so long. he should have everything he ever wanted. why wasn't he happy?

following a deep post-surgical depression, about a month before his 19th birthday Raz was living out of his car, couch-surfing or sleeping in his office. he got kicked out of his apartment after falling behind on bills and rent. it wasn't that he didn't have the money, it was all just too much for him to stay on top of.

he'd probably have stayed in that misery hole for a lot longer if Frazie hadn't marched into his life and demanded he let her help him move into a new place, or she was telling mom that he was homeless. together, they sorted through all of his possessions from the last place - everything that had been hastily shoved in his car, or tossed in a box in his office, piled in a heap that was giving him anxiety even looking at it.

things do get better for him from there.

when he eventually explains things to Hollis, she gently suggests that he should get a roommate. he ends up moving in with Phoebe, and they become pretty good friends after a couple months! something about having another person around to help do the chores and wash the dishes and share the space helps, even if it takes him a while to admit it.

he gets his ADHD diagnosis, and finding the exact right medication and dose is a journey he's still on years later - but they're a huge help in getting him to actually knuckle down and finish his work on time. and the whole thing ends up being a chance for him to take a step back and really think about what he wants to do with his life. he'd always assumed that being a Psychonaut was his dream, but he'd never really reckoned with what that dream would look like before.

in the end, he sticks with it, but also decides to follow Lili's example in branching out. he applies to study a part-time Bachelor's in Psychology on a remote course, and gets accepted. juggling missions and paperwork and study and relationships (because the whole thing made him realise he also wasn't setting aside any time for himself, and wow, dating is a thing) is a lot - but he manages to figure it out, day by day.

(Lili comes back to the Psychonauts after graduating. she and Raz have both changed a lot over those four years, but on their first mission together they hit it off like a house on fire - and the rest is history!)

[callsign-rogueone]

cuddles - b.s.

Brennan Sorrengail x reader words: 565 🏷: no book spoilers, just thoughts about cuddles with Bren [re: this ask]. gender neutral + no pronouns used. brief mentions of the following things, but they aren’t described in any detail: reader and/or Brennan being injured or sick, having nightmares, stress, and worrying about your partner / being afraid of losing them again. one (1) implication of sexual activity at the end but it’s incredibly mild and left up for interpretation. not edited, just a ramble / headcanons. posting this from my bed, wishing I had a brennan here with me right now :(

Bren is absolutely a cuddler behind closed doors, when it’s just him and his partner around.

it’s definitely a stress reliever for him to just be held and relax with you, to take his mind off of preparing for war. everywhere else, he’s the stern, responsible Lieutenant Colonel, but inside your room, he’s just your Bren, and he likes to be babied sometimes. he deserves it! hold him. massage the stress out of his shoulders. be the big spoon for him sometimes (even if you’re shorter/smaller than him, he still loves it). let him lay his head on your lap / chest / etc and play with his hair and read aloud to him from whatever book you’re in the middle of. warning you though, he’ll probably fall asleep and trap you there for a good hour because he’s so tired all the time.

you’ve both been through so much, and sometimes he just likes to have you close, feeling the warmth of your body and your heartbeat and your breathing, as a reassurance that you’re still alive, still here with him 🥺 especially if one of you has a nightmare, or something scary happened to either of you that day — if you were seriously injured, he’s mending you immediately, obviously, but then he’s not letting you out of his sight. he’s taking the afternoon off and taking care of you, and that includes hours of cuddles. 

and he’ll do it as a reassurance for you, too. if you’re crying / injured / overwhelmed, etc., he’s scooping you into his arms and holding you close while he figures out what’s wrong and how to fix it for you, because that’s what Brennan does, he fixes things. but if it’s not an immediately urgent issue, he’s happy to cuddle you a while to help you feel better first.

and it’s a subconscious thing for him too. even when he’s asleep, he’ll reach for you, curling into your side when he finds you. he just wants to be close to you, as it’s a comfort to him. he falls asleep a lot easier and stays asleep longer when he can feel that you’re around. if he’s sick or recovering from an injury (like in the last six years), you need to be close to him — not just for your own reassurance and because you want to take care of him, but also because he’ll drag himself out of bed to find you if you leave. 

on nights where it’s too hot to cuddle, you have to settle for falling asleep holding hands, which works for a few minutes — until one of you wants to roll over — but it’s good enough for him. 

also, I stand by the fact that he’d have the most comfortable bed. he’s the top commander of the revolution, so he’d theoretically have the nicest room, and because he’s so tired from running the army and mending people and teaching a class now, too, I think he would value having a nice soft place to sleep when he can. a big mattress that you can stretch out on, lots of pillows and some very nice blankets.

and I am legally obligated to make this suggestive, because it’s Brennan: cuddling is a requirement after ~certain activities~. and also, cuddling tends to turn into ~certain activities~ quite often — when you’re not too tired, that is. 😉

[instarsandcrime]

Worried Sick

So gonna start with some honesty here. This might be the most self-indulgent thing I've ever written. My theater gay ass couldn't keep away from an interpretation of a subplot from G//uys//and//Do//lls//. The idea of someone getting so worried over a Big Thing(tm) that they end up with a psychosomatic cold until the problem is resolved got me. Also Ade/laide's La/me/nt was the first thing that awoke the kink in me, so there's some BIG inspiration taken from that song and scene overall.

SO. I decided 'hey, why not' and now Lu/ci/fer gets to suffer because he definitely was not a mess when Li/lith was pregnant. Featuring a few of @glitterrosesnzz headcanons because his ideas are chaotic and I love that dearly.

Enjoy! ❤️

---

It was six months into Lilith’s pregnancy that Lucifer stopped fussing and fretting over her. Instead, to her lack of surprise, her husband had decided to spoil her rotten. And although he was increasingly sweet– and she didn’t mind a bit of pampering now and again– old habits died hard. Centuries of serving Lilith in Eden had led to the occasional reminder that yes, she was safe. And yes, her fallen guardian angel needed to step away from his duties once in a while.

Sadly, this routine was not limited to using the stairs.

"Lucifer, I'm fine."

"But Lilith–!"

"They're just sore ankles, my love. Nothing to worry yourself over." The queen giggled as she pried her husband’s grip from her waist, kissing the backs of his hands affectionately along the way.

"Okay. Gotcha. Stairs good. Ankles bad but also good. Say no more." Lucifer pulled back, wringing them as they walked. Desperately trying to keep boundaries without bursting into flames. "It's just. I mean. If you trip and fall you could get hurt. And if you get hurt the baby will get hurt! A-and if that happens– snff!"

"Then it's a good thing I won't." She added, gesturing to the bottom step beneath them.

"Oh." The obsessive rambling cut itself at the stem, an embarrassed flush blooming on his face. "I, um. I see that we've made it."

"So we have." Lilith said with a fond look. She continued her journey down the hallway with her head held high– caretaker skittering to the front and walking backwards as they went.

"Lily dear, if I could just mention one more thing?"

"It’s alright, Lucifer. Speak your mind."

"Much as I hate to say it, you've been working for hours, and bending all day might hurt your back! Ugh.” He shuddered for extra emphasis, “You should be resting, not signing documents for some stuffy Goetia noble."

"And if I were confined to writing in bed, wouldn't I still be upright?" Lilith pondered aloud.

“Well–”

“And those downy pillows can only do so much.”

"Well– well yes, but! But, I…ah, shit. I did it again, didn’t I?" Lucifer mourned. Entering the queen’s large, lavish office, the demon rushed to pull out a seat for her. “Fine, fine. You win. I trust you.”

“Good boy.” Lilith purred as she graciously accepted, leaning back to peck him on the cheek. Watching with deep affection as the great demon king all but melted into a lovestruck puddle. "You know, I have a question of my own."

"Yes, my beloved?" Lucifer’s voice sung like windchimes, still stuck in his reverie.

"How are you feeling?"

"In perfect condition, Your Highness. With just a snap of the ol’ fingers, anything in the universe will be yours. You just name it!" He smirked, adding a quick little bow for good measure.

"Ah, no. What I mean is," Lilith’s gaze softened, "are you feeling anxious about the baby?"

The air around the king of Hell froze just short of ten degrees.

"I...w-well...oh, geez. That's a-ahh...a cohh! Complicated question, isn't it?" Lucifer laughed nervously between light, hiccuping breaths.

"A simple yes or no would suffice."

"Nnnnooo..." He drawled, scratching lightly at his arm.

"...Oh. Alright." His wife answered simply, turning to her paperwork.

"Alright?" 

"If you say you are well, I will trust your judgement." Lilith picked up her pen, tip hovering just above the parchment as she peeked a glance from behind. "Although, I was wondering. Have you thought of a name for our little girl yet?”

"I! Well! Um!" He discreetly swiped at his nose, "You're certainly coming up with...w-with– Ahem! With those hard-h-hih! …hhhhitting questions today, aren’t you?"

"Then what would you propose we do for her new crib? Any toys in mind?" The queen asked, very much aware of the other losing struggle that was worsening by the second.

"You always like t-to...to think...ahehhh...aheadD'SHH'hhiu! T'shhhiew! Etch'SHIEW!" Ribbons of fire poured from between Lucifer’s fangs, and he slapped a hand over his mouth to tamper it.

"Goodness, bless you!" Lilith went to stand, but Lucifer quickly waved open a portal before she could stop him.

"Gotta go for a– kaff! a sec!" He croaked between smoking coughs, "Be back soon, I promise! Don't-- kaff kaff! Don't get up, just stay off your feet!"

And with one last flickering outburst of a sneeze, the portal closed behind him.

Alone and left to her own devices, the queen only shrugged and pushed herself upright. Well. Better late than never to confront this, she supposed.

The bathroom door slammed in a hurry and, disaster temporarily abated, Lucifer slumped against it. With a hoarse sigh he shed his illusion like snakeskin, checking the mirror for what lay underneath. Puffy eyes with dull yellow pupils and sickly red sclera. Beads of sweat rolling with every wave of nausea. Scarlet cherub cheeks shifted to gold, glowing with a feverish holy blush. Groaning over a sudden realization, the fallen angel pulled back his collar to observe tiny stars that peppered the ends of his shoulder blades to the tips of his pointed ears. Ugh, and he thought he got rid of those pox-like symptoms when his form changed. He peered under his gloves and uh-huh. Yyyep! This sucks.

Stopping to scratch his cheek, he threw open the medicine cabinet and snapped his fingers. In an instant the shelves and edges of the tub were lined with vintage bottles and beakers, assorted in colorful rows. Mortar and pestles collected in the sink, covered in all different types of thick, herbal powders. Wadded tissues overflowed a once-empty wastebin, and Lucifer quickly snatched one from a nearby box to blow, wincing at the touch of his raw nose.

"Ughh. Okay, where did I leave off?" Another flick of the wrist and piles of stacked books littered the floor, each one marked with all sorts of angelic and demonic symbols. Sitting on the counter he began to read, cotton cloth pressed to his face. "Six months of this. Unbelievable."

He read aloud half-heartedly with another soft sniffle, "Angelic flu. Patient may experience bouts of nausea that make me want to die a second time, the sudden urge to cough up a fucking lung, a rash made of stardust because of course I still get that down here, an itchy nose that won’t quihh…hihhhh...! Hih-hih-hhhit'SCHHH! It'SHIEW! HIT'SHH’HHIEW!" He fumbled to catch his book before it could hit the ground, breathing a sigh of relief. "Whew! Don’t talk about the fourth thing. Got it."

Tugged along to the instructions he opened his other palm, producing an ornate teacup that graciously fell into an equally fanciful saucer. Amber apothecary vials lifted themselves, pouring small helpings of this and that as he continued. "An easy remedy to cure the chronic organic symptoms of," his voice soured, "a feeling of insecurity and frustration caused by withheld duties-- oh, for Heaven’s sake!"

He threw the book to the ground with a loud clatter. No matter how many fancy words are written, no matter how many diagrams are shown, no matter how long he’s waited and waited around for this wonderfully delicate life to come into this world–

“ET’SCHH’HHIU! Snff! Ugh…”

He's seen the same damn result every time! It's– it’s just a small case of the sniffles. That’s all there is to it. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Lucifer?" A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. "Is everything alright? I heard something fall."

Shit!

"Just a mo-ment!" Lucifer winced at the way his voice cracked, threatening to break down in a coughing fit. Biting the bullet he downed the tea in one gulp, waving away the medical concoctions and used tissues to another existence. "I, uh– um– spilled a drihhh-drink!"

His breath suddenly hitched and he fought the urge to drag a hand down his face, silently swearing when the remedy somehow made things worse. Every inhale burned with a strong tickle, and he pinched his nose and sniffed hard in a desperate attempt to settle it.

"You spilled a drink in the bathroom?" Lilith asked, voice tinged with quiet amazement.

Lucifer cringed as he finished the magic touches on his starry spots, "...Yes?"

The door clicked, and his guest stepped through the threshold with the sweep of her wrap dress. She circled every nook and cranny, taking in its shimmering appearance. Her gaze moved to her husband– put together and pristinely dressed, boasting a huge grin. In short, everything around her was absolute perfection.

How unnerving.

"I suppose you will be joining me in my office?"

"Your-- oh!" Lucifer nodded stiffly,  "Of course, of course! I just need more ti...t-tihhh...time– Ahem! Oh dear, 'scuse me. Had a little bit of a t-tickle there."

"I would love to invite you back," Lilith’s brow furrowed, "but it might do you well to take your own advice and get some rest."

"Hm? Did I do some...s-somethihhh...hih! S-something I shouldn’t have?" He swallowed, fighting the urge to close his fluttering eyelashes.

"No– at least, not until today. I hate to do this darling," His wife crouched, holding a handkerchief of her own, "but you missed a spot."

Before he could think Lilith wiped at the angry flush that brightened the bridge of his nose like it were a smudge of dirt, and the reaction was immediate. Lucifer gasped, eyes lined with irritated tears. "W-wait! Let's talk abouhhh...a-about thihhh…!"

"Poor thing." Lilith sighed, moving to brush the rim of his nostrils. "It's so sensitive now, too."

And with that, she kissed the tip, helping her husband hold the cloth as he snapped at the waist.

"Het'shhh! 'Tchiew! 'Tsshhh! Hit'chh-tshh!-tshhh-het'shhh! Heh'TSHHH! H-hih...H-hih!...waihhht-- 'tshh-tch! slow dowhh- down-- Hih'kschh! please-- Het'Schhh!" He begged to himself, sadly to no avail. His illusions went down, and so did his strength. "Hih-hih-hit'SCHH'HIEW! HT'SCHHH-'Tsh!-'TSH! 'TSHHHIEW! Hehhh-Ht'CHT! HET’TCHHH'hiew-TSHHH'HIEW! H-hehh- c-cad't- Het'CHHHIEW! stoh-huh!...st-stohhp...HIT'SCHHH'HHIU! Hih-hih-Hih! Hhh...ghhh..."

A slender finger pressed just underneath his twitching nose, and all that was left of the uncontrollable fit was a shaky, tired breath. "Thadk you. Snff!"

He blinked his vision into working order, bashfully taking the handkerchief to let loose another blow. All the while gentle claws stroked loose, damp locks back into place.

"How long has this been going on?"

"Three-- kaff! Th-three days."

Lilith raised an eyebrow.

"One month?"

She crossed her arms. “Try again.”

"...Six months." He cleared his throat. "But that doesn't matter! I don't have any responsibilities at the moment, and you're taking the brunt of well-- everything! Your work, the pregnancy. You should be focusing on yourself, not worrying about me."

"What? No!" Lilith took a seat on the porcelain rim of the tub, scooping the fallen angel into her lap with a warm embrace. "No, no, don’t neglect yourself for my sake. You have every right to feel nervous too."

"Nervous?"

"Of course." She urged, "Nervous that you may be a bad father, perhaps?"

"Wh--" Lucifer huffed out a laugh, scratching at his neck. "Don't be absurd! I-I don't think about that! Nehhh...heh! Snff! Never."

"Oh?" Lilith tilted her head curiously, "So the rambling, fussing, and conveniently timed illness means nothing?"

"Nnnnope! Nuhh-snff! Nothin’." The demoness nearly jumped out of her skin as large pillars of books reappeared in a flash of holy light.

"I just stopped my search at angelic flu-- which was a bust, by the way.” Lucifer continued, picking up a book to smack the cover in frustration. “That eliminates most heavenly illnesses. I didn't check curses yet, but I've got a hunch it's some type of plague. Those are all the rage on Earth these days. Actually, when we start using the stroller, should our little girl be outside on walks when another case carries over? She could get sihh-hih!...s-sick just from br-brea- snff! breathing. Can you imagine–…imagine thahh...th-that?"

"Darling." She tilted his chin upwards with a teasing smile, breaking him out of his thoughts. "Be careful. Talking about the baby too much will send you into a fit."

"Pfft! What, me? Noooo! Sure, I just think about her once in a while and wor-- consider! Consider the fact that I might mess up. And when I consider the fact that I might mess up, I tend to...to sn...s-sneehh...! Heh!"

Lucifer pushed himself from her grip, pitching helplessly into slowly soaking fabric. "Het'chiu! Hih'tchhh'hiew! Hihhh...hih! HITCHIEW!" With every sneeze his demon horns grew until they cradled Lilith’s cheeks.

"I warned you, didn't I?" His beloved huffed, rubbing a hand on his back while his breaths began to calm.

"Ughhh…Sorry 'bout thahh-hah-h-hhhah! HAT’SHHHIEW! HET’KSHHHOO! Hhheh…hihhh-hih!…ohhh…" He moaned, punctuating his misery with a loud, gurgling blow.

"If it helps break this 'curse' in any way," Lilith scratched at the base her patient's horns, and his twisted expression finally relaxed, breathing a dreamy sigh. "I think you'll make a great father."

"Mmm? Why's that?" He slurred, leaning into the touch.

"Because our child isn't born yet, and you've already worried yourself sick over her." Wide eyes snapped open, and Lilith pursed her lips to bite back a laugh.

"Ugh, that pun was terrible. Even for me." Lucifer pouted dramatically, collapsing against her. 

“I love you too.”

[wc-confessions]

the discourse about people shipping Darkstripe and Tigerstar is so stupid.

anons before me have made big long eloquent posts about how so much of the fandom is too strict about shipping, and this ship in particular comes up as an example pretty frequently.

i just want to add some thought to this conversation about this ship specifically —

in general, yes the fandom needs to unclench a bit and realize the family tree is irreparably messed up and sometimes things get a bit muddy. but if two characters aren’t explicitly mentioning their familial ties in the text, don’t seem to acknowledge them whatsoever, and have potential, and aren’t in a weird power dynamic (ex. mentor/apprentice), then for gods sake just let people have fun and ship whoever they want. have some sense of whimsy and mind your own business.

obviously, Darkstripe and Tigerstar are related according to the family tree - but it is never once acknowledged by them or any character in the books a single time - so for the sake of the point i’m leading up to, let’s extend our imagination a bit and consider them unrelated.

well, this ship is still problematic you might say because of their mentor/apprentice relationship, and the “abuse” Tigerstar puts Darkstripe through. there is an age gap, an imbalanced power dynamic, and unhealthy behavior aside from that. so clearly, this ship wouldn’t be healthy, family ties or not.

but, hear me out, a healthy relationship is not the point of this ship. i honestly don’t ship them, but in my mind it’s basically canon that Darkstripe is obsessed with and in love with Tigerstar. do i condone that? no. do i enjoy it? also NO. but the point of the ship isn’t romance or healthy love or enjoyment!!!!

they are evil and toxic and would be a terrible couple!!!! but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to ship it or headcanon it in some way!!!

if anything, IT MAKES SENSE. like - yes they would be toxic and abusive, but they are also murderers??? they are absolute freaks????? they are evil monsters condemned to hell???? of course they’re relationship wouldn’t be healthy - power dynamics and incest or not?????

Darkstripe developing a ROMANTIC and unhealthy obsession only makes sense though - Tigerstar groomed him CANONICALLY to be the perfect henchman and to put his wants and needs before his own always. Darkstripe thrived on Tigerstar’s approval and praise and it was his main motivator even after death. CANONICALLY.

I don’t think it’s far fetched to add a romantic attraction on Darkstripe’s part. that very often occurs with grooming victims. it’s not implausible.

just because it’s bad and weird and toxic, doesn’t mean it’s not possible or not okay to headcanon.

just because something is “bad” and you headcanon it anyway or it’s just how you interpret the text, doesn’t mean you’re condoning the “bad” thing.

i really think a lot of the fandom needs to learn to think more deeply and more critically, and not immediately villainize anyone who says they headcanon something that isn’t “safe” or “correct”.

i rambled a lot i hope this makes sense.

.

[rocksibblingsau]

"Death is tragic, but sometimes living can be so much worse."

So..... same anon that send the rant ask that this come from and I just have to say how good this is. Like unbelievably so and everything from your response as well, I cant say this enough I love your writing and how you interpret trolls and their world

Honestly, you're so right that they likely had that "hes in a better place now" (pun not intended), it fits so well with what we know about pop trolls mentality and life-style. The same trolls that erased and forgotten everyone that was lost during the escape, including the heir, would also accept a little brother as dead and go on without checking so they can better ignore the grief of losing him. Thinking about it, thats a way better and in-character reason why Floyd never came back

People say that he was out partying or he forgor or whatever, but the thought that some 3-5 years later he stopped to think and realized "oh... hes probably dead by now", and now having to choose between confirming the "reality" that his brother died waiting for him or just moving forward, be happy and never think about things that upset you (that just pop trolls second nature at this point)

There is a part of me that still wants to write Brozone facing that grief either by having to save Floyd without him or reuniting some other way, now with the added against of "everybody including you forgot your brother ever existed, isn't that fun!". Thinking about it, I may even write that Branch died in the woods or something instead of the bergens. He didn't die because they left him in the tree, he died because they never came back for him. And the same mentality that "helped" them "grief" (read: ignore) his supposed dead is the same mentality that caused the pop village to ignore and ostracize him (that being what actually killed him). Tragic, gut-punching, hope they surfer and cry about it :)

But for my actual headcanon of the brothers mentally during those 20 years, I can only imagine your view of the situation is just that good and accurate. Thank you for entertaining my thoughts and sorry for the rambles lol

Thank you! I love overanalyzing things, and Trolls is a very fun subject to work with!

It's very in line with Pop mentality to just accept that and move on. Bruce especially lives on Vacay Island where "every day is a vacay". I could see a bit of that mentality existing there. Maybe not the 'sugar coat everything in glitter' degree but 'why worry?' type of ignore your problems.

Branch dying on his own rather than in the tree I think is a way more terrifying reality. Hundreds of Pop Trolls were eaten, and that's seen as the Bergens fault. Branch getting injured and having no one to check in on him so he passes is on the village. It's been mentioned in Rock Sibblings but the fact is, that was a reality Branch faced. Poppy likely would've come by EVENTUALLY but she was younger than him.

In Rock Sibblings the truth is if not for Poppy deciding to follow after him, no one would have ever known what happened to Branch. In Techno Branch and Classical Branch, no one actually does until 15ish years later.

With his brothers, it's sad to say that with an alive Branch, there's very little that could have them initially realizing that Branch is hurt. I mean look at him in Trolls Band Together. He's not fully grey but he's very drastically darker than they all are despite initially all having the same skin tone. Yet none of them react or mention it. They're fine to ignore the situation at hand.

Never apologize for rambles. That's what we do here.

[coff-in]

thank you so much for doing my request!! if you’re comfy with a pt 2 I’d love to read it!! seeing reader cope with becoming a parent and how reader copes with getting raped by andrew … how the dynamic at home changes, andrew as a daddy and ashley as a aunt!! does andrew force reader to marry him? <3 if ur not comfy w doing it as a req then maybe ramble or do it in any other form like a hc! thank youuu 🥹🤍

notes from coff-in: it's past midnight right now where i am (as it it's closer to 1:00am) but i need to write. this is definitely a ramble but thank you for clarifying that i could do that! writing properly for ficlets and headcanons take a bit out of me but i want go give you guys the best that i got, you know? sorry, sorry... on to your ask!

[fem] reader-insert, [afab] reader-insert(?), NSFW, rape, talks/mentions of pregnancy and abortion, incest in the last bits but it's skippable really

the biggest thing that i wonder about is how [reader] met andrew and ashley. how long have they'd known each other? were they quarantined together (was [reader] quarantined at all)? i think i'll leave it up to the reader's interpretation/imagination but these things feel like they should impact the story, you know? um... [reader] doesn't really take to being a mother too well. she doesn't want to be a mother, so it makes sense. ashley wouldn't let her get rid of the child, either. she doesn't like [reader] all that much but she does try to recognize potential opportunities to keep andrew close in this... situation.

the last thing a parent wants to do is to make their child sad. if ashley could get close enough to andrew's child (she'd love the child ofc, it's an extension of her brother) then she could keep andrew close to her, too. any separation of them would also affect the child and until it's born who knows how that can go. ashley doesn't like [reader] all that much. she could come to like [reader], but when i was writing the original piece i sort of didn't write it with ashely in mind... so any relationship they build would be after the rape event.

andrew. andrew andrew andrew. he... he wants the child. it's possibly a new chance for him to have a new life. not necessarily an ordinary life (years of sexual tension between him and his sister build up somehow to him raping a women they sorta kidnap/escaped with from an apartment after demon summoning, murder, and cannibalism) but it could be considered close enough if you squint and tilt your head. again, when writing the original piece i didn't really write with andrew and [reader]'s deeper relationship in mind, just the surface level stuff

andrew has come to care for [reader] to some extent, and the child makes him try to enforce that bond and relationship. he would reflect on his own parents and their parenting and how he raised ashley when it comes to his baby. trying to figure what to avoid (i think putting in the effort would be way better than what his parents did, though. it's not even a battle). he gets touchy feely with [reader]; sleeping in the same bed, holding their hand or resting it on their hip, brushing her hair, etc etc some of the stiff we've seen with ashley. i think he'd also talk to the baby bump, too.

[reader] isn't expected to kill people anymore or to do excessive physical labor. i don't think she takes part in the cannibalism as much either. i'm kinda leaving her vague because i want you guys to really just imprint on [reader] i guess when it comes to this situation. andrew would be a fairly good dad though. uh... sort of dozed off a bit trying to think about him as a dad. he would be way more attentive that his own parents, that's for sure. he's the voice of reason along with [reader] (ashley is that "cool aunt" that the kid loves), but andrew is also still a bit of a doormat or pushover. he can't stay too mad at this kids.

do i think andrew would force [reader] to marry him? maybe. it would probably be good for taxes and other legal documents but i don't know if he'd put such a high value on marriage. i think he'd like the intertwining aspect of it, the legal binding it brings. i doubt ashely would enjoy this but it's also dependent on your relationship.

mixing this idea with incest ideas because i can't help myself right now, fell free to skip this: andrew and a sibling [reader]. especially a younger one. i don't know but i kind of enjoy the idea of him during quarantine (or right after) just... losing control one night. it's not violent or loud or out of hate; it's quiet and gentle and out of frustration. he takes his younger baby sibling while they're sleeping as a way to just let it all out. the tension and stress and repression of his feelings for them... he just lets them go. ashley's dead asleep and so is [reader], as ling as he's quiet there are no immediate consequences to this action. he raised [reader] since they were a fucking baby and what a wonderful adult they had turned out to be (as wonderful as a graves could be).

aaaaahhh, i'm tired. sorry for the weird sleepy rant response. i feel like i should mention again: i have never been raped nor do i know friends or people personally who have been raped. i haven't really read anything scholarly about it so take all i say with a grain of salt and an open mind. thank you for requesting, 'nonnie. i love it when people ask for expansions or explanations in previous posts (reminds me of devious anon, i miss them)

anyway my eye saight is losing focus so i'll end it here. good day/night/evening whatever you are

----

coff-in

[idleglowingpixels]

I kinda realised that Mr Komos' song, True Monster Heart follows the same beat as the Monster High Fright song, but the lyrics are like the corrupted version of the original.

Monster High Fright is about accepting

True Monster Heart is about rejecting

Kinda interesting when you think about it

AHHHHHH WHEN I SAW I GOT AN ASK RELATED TO THIS I FREAKED OUT DFGHNBGVFDSF TY FOR GIVING ME SOMETHING TO RAMBLE SOME MORE ABOUT ANON FOR REAL! (Also sorry for the late response, this post has been developing in my drafts for like at least a week now dfgfhng)

I absolutely agree with the conflicting messages between the two songs! I know the song focuses on the story of this universe's Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in the main verses, but the main focus of the song is that message of rejection of anything and everything human.

Also, because of the Jekyll/Hyde bits, it could represent the duality of where the story starts and ends in its interpretation of a "true monster heart." Instead of Mr. Hyde's human-ness making his heart "untrue," it was his utter rejection of & research into ridding himself of his Jekyll, as well as his hiding of the truth in the first place that caused him to be found out and exiled.

His heart being "untrue" had nothing to do with the fact he was half-human, because if it were, then Clawdeen and Komos's presence in and of itself within the school would've triggered its self-destruction. That was proven as a false interpretation by the story in the movie, so it's self-explanatory. A true monster heart is one of self-acceptance, despite one's flaws or differences. That's what Mr. Hyde, and Mr. Komos thereafter, had neglected to realize before Clawdeen proved the point.

Though, I've listened to both True Monster Heart and Fright Song a few times back-to-back, to try and get where you're thinking as far as the beat, but I don't hear it unfortunately (unless you meant the tempo of the song, then yes they do follow the same 120 beats per minute!).

The closest thing I can think of as far as melodic parallels between the songs is the chanting sections. The Fright Song chant is much quicker in the way it's sung compared to the chant in True Monster Heart, however. The whole of Fright Song's chant goes in 16 beats/4 measures, whereas True Monster Heart's chant takes twice as long at 32 beats/8 measures (I was a band/choir kid lol). It's mainly due to how the song kinda drags out the point, and it definitely feels like a nod to Fright Song for sure. Fright Song's chant is only there because 4/5 of the main ghouls were fearleaders, so it was sort of characterizing the cast before actually showing their characters in the webisodes.

---

Fun little headcanon/ramble that I forget if I ever mentioned about Fright Song, but with Holt Hyde being released in the 1st Signature wave with the rest of the the main ghouls and all, I think it was because he's intended to be the singer of the rap section before any subsequent content with the character was released (No offense but I don't think Holt DJs because he's a good singer sdfgbfds). This would line up with his current crush in canon with Frankie, as well as his former crush on Draculaura from either the diaries or books, maybe both? I forget. :'D Also I feel like Holt wouldn't hesitate to call Cleo vile immediately after saying she's charming either, he's very direct with his words. (I also interpret Jackson/Holt as bisexual because Deuce is included in the rap I DON'T CARE Y'ALL IT MAKES SENSE!)

Also I always interpreted the howl-like sound at the end of the rap as "Holt ran outta time/battery power for his music and transforms back to Jackson as it transitions to the rest of the song." It kinda works with how the beat kinda drops down with the howl, like a TV being shut off or something idk.

Ghoulia also debuted with Signature Wave 1 but she's only in like a second of the music video in the background, I figure it could've been budgetary reasons for the animation, to save on animating an extra character. Also I imagine flame-y hair wouldn't be very fun to animate in 2D, and Deuce's snakes moving on their own were bad enough I imagine to animate, so it begrudgingly checks out as to why Holt isn't in the animated bits with everyone else.

BUT I JUST WATCHED THE MUSIC VIDEO BECAUSE I WANTED TO FOR THE SAKE OF THIS POST AND THE GUY SINGING THE RAPPING BIT HAS, YOU GUESSED IT, A BRIGHT FRICKIN NEON RED LEATHER JACKET. He doesn't have the dual-toned shirt BUT IT'S WHITE AND THIS IS CLOSE ENOUGH FOR ME Y'ALL! XD

If any straws for these dumbasses can be found I SHALL GRASP THEM fr they're my blorbos :'D

[patrochillesvibes]

O and I have an other question how do you think Achilles will react once he finds out about the fact that Patroclus had slept Deidameia. Because I do believe Patroclus haven’t to Achilles about it .

<3 <3 <3

Ah, the single plot point in TSoA I disagree with.

🎵How do you solve a problem like Pyrrhus🎶

So if we’re all gonna suck Homer’s dick, then let’s all get on the same page that Deidamia isn’t in the Iliad. Or the Odyssey. You also gotta be careful with any source material mentioning Deidamia as most of this content was part of a smear campaign by the Italians coughDantecough.

Pyrrhus is such a random character if you think about it. Achilles was not married, otherwise Agamemnon wouldn’t keep trying to get him to marry his seemingly endless supply of daughters. Pyrrhus isn’t labeled as a bastard, but what else could he be? Achilles would’ve had to have knocked up some chick.

And isn’t it strange that Achilles would do this? I don’t want to say it’s not in character, but it seems strange compared to his prophecy-focused life. (Also, Patroclus and Achilles don’t have little bastards running around the camp, so do we really believe they’re fucking the slaves? If they’re fucking the slaves, where are the babies? Birth control and abortions were not that good in 1250 BCE. But I’m getting super off topic now.)

This is why I personally believe Achilles found a random baby, adopted it, and had Mother feed him ambrosia.

I’m very passionate about ^this headcanon of mine.

Now back to TSoA…

First off, remember that Patroclus is a LIAR. He is not just full of bologna, he’s made out of bologna. He wants us to believe he’s a feminist? Anti-war? A doctor? Achilles is perfect? Patroclus PLEASE!

But you have to respect the lies because TSoA is essentially an autobiography and lying is like the first law of autobiography writing.

I’d also like to point out the clever literary trick at the end of TSoA. The book ends with Patroclus and Thetis chatting about Achilles. She says “Speak, then” to get Patroclus to share his memories. Thus, the book is not so much an account of his life, but essentially all the memories he had to share with her. He wants to show her how glorious her son was, the side she never got to see, the human nature she shunned, Achilles’ mortality. So of course he’s going to highlight the good, even enhance it as well as downplay or even lie about the bad.

But back to your question…

What happened at Skyros? Patroclus wants us to believe a lot of non-con was going on. I low-key have a very messed up theory about what actually happened and why it happened, but I don’t want to get into it rn a blogger on here might be unhappy bcs of a related ask I coincidentally just sent them. So for simplicity's sake, let’s assume that the non-con did indeed happen. I think he told Achilles a half-truth. Something to the effect of mentioning having comforted Deidamia and given her an official farewell (of the husbandly kind) on his behalf. He used a lot of double-meaning words to allow Achilles to interpret as he pleased.

And how did he interpret what Patroclus told him? First he was relieved that he would not have to deal with her again. Then he was his usual dumb blonde self (Patroclus calls this 'trusting', Pat pls) and took the words at face value. And I wouldn't blame him for it. When traumatic things happen to you, you do what you can to cope.

And please don’t take this as victim blaming or non-con denial, but the last lines of Chapter 13 never sat quite right with me.

Sorry to keep harping on the lying. Part of me thinks the scene with Deidamia was either a hallucination-false memory sequence to reinforce that patrochilles is 2-bodies-1-soul -what happens to Achilles happens to Pat; and part of me thinks this was Pat’s sly way of showing Thetis how she hurt Achilles by enabling the non-con. Sadly, we'll never know the truth, so it's up to you what you want to believe.

I hope this rambling rant answered your question. Thank you for the ask! I LOVE LOVE LOVE The Song of Achilles and am capable of ranting and raving about it for hours at a time 😘

[gophergal]

Author Commentary - I Know Where to Look (Chapter 1)

Howdy y'all! I just posted the first chapter of my first tf2 fic, and figured that rambling about my thought processes from writing it would be fun. So, enjoy?

Welcome to my first Author Commentary post!

Regardless of if anyone other than my best bud (and partner in word crimes) @cursed—alien read these going forward, I thought it would be fun to explain references and thoughts from the process of fic writing. These are the sort of thing I love to know about my favorite art. I’m a great lover of artist interviews (specifically the ones where the artist in question explains the development of the concept and reasoning for the techniques they use) and an avid reader of author’s notes, so I hope that if anyone reading my fic is like me that they will enjoy this addition to the story.

Formatting

I feel that the most notable thing about this fic is that, despite being rated as explicit, every explicitly sexual scene is under a cut. Why do this instead of just making the scenes fade to black or formatting it in a standard manner? Because, dear reader, I have had the experience of reading explicitly rated fic solely for the buildup to the smut scenes. I experience fluctuations between sex favorability to neutrality, all the way to aversion. When I’m feeling uncomfortable with explicit sexual content, I often wish there was a way to just skip those scenes entirely. But on the other hand, I also acknowledge that sex scenes CAN have narrative and character importance. For the specific dynamic that Corey and I envisioned for Red Oktoberfest- that being a relationship that starts as professional and sexual before becoming emotionally involved, those scenes would be a shame to ignore entirely on my part.

Behaviors and thoughts during sexual intimacy are rich with characterization, and I wanted to be able to express that. So, the best of both worlds, to me, was to have a second layer of opting in to reading those scenes. I may have to redo them later, however, because the way I had to go about it doesn’t work with pdf downloads and likely isn’t screen reader accessible. My current thoughts in regards to those problems is to encourage folks to download as some other format, and eventually create a podfic of this story.

Headcanons Involved

Something you may notice about this is the amount of headcanon I’m trying to cram into it. To be frank, I use most fic writing as a vehicle with which to go “look at my headcanons, boy”, so this isn’t surprising.

The first of which I would like to note is Heavy’s love of pulp romance. I couldn’t tell you why I first thought of it, but it’s grown on me like moss. Mikhail is a lover and a fighter. To me. In my heart. He views all art for what it is, and values the stories themselves pretty equally. The only important difference between the two books he’s carried with him from Russia and the pulp he’s collected in the US is sentimentality.

Speaking of those books, why the two I picked? Brothers Karamazov is a pretty obvious choice. It’s a classic and widely studied. Tsar Hunger by Leonid Andreyev, however was actually mentioned by name in Poker Night At The Inventory. In one conversation, Tycho asks Heavy what his favorite book is, to which he replies that he “prefers war.” Eventually, though, he does end up saying that he likes Tsar Hunger. I wanted to know if this was just a book picked at random, or if it actually meant something about Telltale’s interpretation of Heavy’s character. After all, the tumblr side of the fandom LOVES Heavy’s PhD in Russian Literature. It was. A BITCH. To find any information about that book. There isn’t a goodreads page for it. Or a wikipedia. Or even an amazon page selling copies. Like, what the fuck? Eventually, I found that the Internet Archive has it available to borrow by the hour. The particular copy that was archived was originally from the University of Texas and has a fabric cover. So no synopsis.

At this point I was thinking “oh my fucking god I’m two hours into this research process,” and decided I wouldn’t be reading King Hunger. I’ve skimmed it a bit and, filling in the blanks with some guesses based on the information Wikipedia provided about the author, it’s a symbolic/expressionist criticism of the monarchy, but one which also criticizes bloody revolution. Please take that with a pound of salt though. Once again, I spent a solid three hours getting to that amount of understanding.

This actually leads me to discussing another element that’s important to my interpretation of Heavy. Namely, who is father was. On r/TF2, I constantly see people arguing back and forth whether its fine to joke about Mikhail being “Heavy Communism Guy” or if that’s a gross misunderstanding since his father was declared a counterrevolutionary. (Meanwhile these same dimwits are happily joking about Medic being a member of a certain fascist regime, but I digress)

Personally, I think Mikhail’s father (who I will be calling Ivan Melnyk going forward, as I headcanon Heavy’s full name to be Mikhail Ivanovich Melnyk) was counterrevolutionary, but not anti-communist. That venn diagram isn’t just a circle my friends. In political matters, it’s very easy to get stuck in black and white thinking- and that’s fair for large matters- but, when it comes down to how people believe they should go about making changes, that’s where you get in-fighting between allied groups.

More clearly, I believe that Ivan was a man who believed in progress and common good, but found disproportionate violence distasteful. And he would have tried to impart those values on his son. However, Ivan’s death and his family’s imprisonment would really sour that for Mikhail. It adds a level of complexity where he is both someone who hates senseless violence (see: the sparrow story in Poker Night), but is extremely wrathful (see: the engineer story in Poker Night).

Switching gears, let’s talk respawn. Personally, I like the idea of it as something that exists in universe, rather than just being a game mechanic in the Documentary Video Game About the Gravel Wars. It adds some more leeway for goofy shit the mercs can get up to while also opening up more avenues for mentally trauma. Angst my beloved.

Respawn

Respawn, in my mind, works by teleporting the remains to a mechanism that then recycles the matter into a pre-programmed form. I imagine that this is updated every day for the TF2 mercs, but only by the week or month for the Classic era systems. Upon exiting respawn, subjects may experience “respawn sickness,” which includes symptoms of nausea, diziness, anxiety, sensitivity to light and sound, disorientation, soreness, ect. One can become accustomed to respawn over time, and this is expedited by the modern systems, but some might remain sensitive to respawn even after years of use.

TFI standard protocol is to switch respawn systems over to the older system in order save money and perform diagnostics/maintenance without risking the permanent death of one of their “specialists.”

Another book note

The passage Heavy reads at the end is from a novella called Special Nurse by Lucy Agnes Hancock. It is Yet Another book I haven’t read, but decided to reference. Originally, I had wanted to reference a Harlequin Romance published in 1960-63, as I really didn’t want to include that flavor of anachronism. Dont fucking ask me why, but it mattered to me. However, the vast majority of what I could find online to read was published between 1975 and 1998. There were three books that technically fit my requirements, but the two from 1961 were either vacation romance or noble romance. Which just didn’t fit the vibe I was looking for. And the one from 1963 was published in November of that year. Which would have been fine, but I envisioned this chapter taking place in late May or early June.

In the late 40’s to mid 60’s Harlequin published SOOOOO many hospital romances. And this amused me, so I desperately wanted Heavy to be reading one. But I searched multiple times and just. Couldn’t find any that I could skim through. Fuck, dude, I couldn’t even find samples or excerpts. I COULD BARELY FIND SYNOPSES. I got desperate and dug through my mom’s old romance novel collection and lo and behold, there it was. Special Nurse. It’s not Harlequin (published by Pocket Books) and it wasn’t technically from 60-63 (originally published in 1948, but received 5 print runs from 1950-19060. Mine is from August 1960), but it WAS A DOCTOR ROMANCE. HUZZAH.

Dear fucking lord why do I do this shit to myself ahhhhhhhh

[sharonisthebettercarter]

Starlight isn't interested in being a mom, she'll protect kids when the situation calls for it and be supportive of said kids, but she's not gonna take care of a child 24/7. She's more "protective auntie" type than "Good mom energy". Nobody expected Billy to be all nurturing towards kids, they shouldn't expect the same from starlight, it doesn't matter if the latter has a stronger connection to kids. We never saw her talk wanting kids nor shown any implications of her wanting to join motherhood. She definitely seems like she's someone who likes kids, but doesn't want any of her own. So yeah, don't expect her to be anyone's mom. Nobody expected Billy to be anyone's dad, especially if you read the comics, don't expect starlight to be anyone's mom. Idgas if she's nicer to kids than billy.

idk what you're on about anon but it's fuckin' weird, i'ma tell ya that.

starlight wanting kids is basically schrodinger's cat here. sure, she's never said or implied she specifically *wanted* kids.

but she's never said or implied that she specifically *doesn't* want kids either, in either iteration so whatever you thought this was, it's just a great big can of nothin' word soup.

or in other words, this random ramble that showed up in my inbox? it don't make a lick of sense.

also, why even care so much if starlight becomes a mom or not??? that is an exceedingly weird thing to grasp onto, i gotta say. it sounds more like *you* specifically don't want her to have kids and are possibly projecting your own desire onto your interpretation of the character, so headcanon i guess?? which fine, but why bother me with it???????? who even cares whether she becomes a mom or not? if they go that route, they go that route, if they don't, they don't.

butt.

i will also say that if starlight didn't ever want kids or had some sort of issue with adopting one, she probably would have freaked out the first second hughie mentioned 'may have signed us up to adopt a kid'. she was pretty unfazed in response so it either just wasn't something she cared to give much attention to in that moment (half because she wouldn't mind/half because more important topics at hand), or her and hughie *are* actually at the stage in their relationship where kids aren't necessarily the goal, but they're okay with becoming parents and have probably talked about it (at least once, generally an important conversation for a healthy het couple that is sexually active)

and why in satan's red hellscape would you designate her as a 'protective auntie' specifically to bar her from 'good mom energy'?????????? first of all, WHAT?? who are you to decide that for another woman?????? how do you even decide *for another woman* 'yeah, she likes kids but def never wants any of her own'??? leik wut?? when did she say *anything* even remotely implying this???????????

why do *you* get to speak for *her*?????? what the hell are you even basing this assumption on????????????

and second, why couldn't she be both???? people can be *both* moms to one kid and aunts to others. if your mom has siblings(or super close family friends/besties), and her siblings(besties) have kids, which would be your cousins(or conisdered family), she's an aunt too(or could be considered one)!

and if mom's sibling is a sister and they both have kids, wouldn't ya know, they're *both* mom/auntie combos!!

leik where is the logic here?????????????

shoot, we might even see them actually adopt a kid (maybe teddy stillwell) if that paperwork did actually go through and i could def picture hughie freakin' out but annie bein' a total boss about it (also lmao would be kinda great since the kid's powers match hughie's, could also picture butcher pushing hughie to adopt teddy specifically to use him... FFFFFFFFFFFFFF--)

butt~ there's also leaked spoilers of a pregnancy reveal in the next season, big chance it could be starlight's, leik big enough to make a safe bet i'd guess, but who knows.

otherwise, i mean if you wanna write starlight not being a mom in fanfic, that's an option. it is free. have at it.

just maybe don't bother the people who do make her become a mom in their own fics or want to see that in the show, or try to implement your personal vision of 'what starlight should be' onto them, that much is a bit of a dick move. (you can make your own meta and nicely discuss but this ask is hella weird)

leik you could have just been honest and said 'i don't want starlight to have kids' and it would have made a 1000 times more sense and been more valid than whatever the hell this thing was.

i ramble a ton but don't care one way or another, which just makes this extra weird anon. honestly wtf. this might make more sense if i gushed about starlight becoming a mom as much as i did about butcher getting impregnated~<3 but i've only ever mentioned it in passing, probably once or twice?? normally in reference to predictions for *if* ryan survives, which i've made pretty clear i'm *not* holding out for. (that kid died in the comic by butcher's hand, given the parallels with the kid accidentally killing his mom in both comic and show, i'm expecting a similar parallel for him and butcher eventually) you sure this one was meant for me???

also, the way things are going + leaked spoilers, maybe don't be surprised if she does in fact become a mom in canon? (or if butcher causes her to have a miscarriage i guess. would not put it past him... FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF--)

[localplaguenurse]

Tell us.

*cracks knuckles*

Reasons Pantalone is husband material: a thread

So in the context of prev ask, literally anyone would make for a better spouse in an arranged marriage, it’s just that I think Pantalone would be the best because I love him

Because I love him also I’m going off my interpretations of him because where are my fucking crumbs Hoyo it has been a year since his appearance-

First and foremost, he’s a rich bitch. He cannot only provide for you, but he could also spoil you absolutely rotten.

Second, we know he’s very passionate about his work and ideas, going on and on about them. A passion for your craft is a very attractive trait but then you factor in that voice and yeah, even if you don’t know wtf he’s talking about you’re absolutely getting drawn into that discussion just to hear him talk.

He has many stories to share, some he’s more willing to discuss than others, but regardless the stories he has are rarely ever dull. The only dull ones would be business meetings but the voice does the heavy lifting.

From intellectual discussions to hearing him ramble about his day at the bank, no matter how active you are in that conversation, it’s rarely ever a dull one.

He’s the friendliest of the Harbingers save for Childe. His status and his jobs as Harbinger and founder of the Northland Bank means he’s had to learn and master etiquette and manners and how to sweet talk people. Even if it is just a front to get others to trust him, a polite tone and charming smile will get you anywhere if you know when and where to use them.

Getting him to actually open up to you would be a tricky job because childhood trauma is a bitch, but once you actually get him vulnerable you will have that man in the palm of your hand.

His empathy can be a little hit or miss sometimes because again, trauma is a bitch. It’s a side effect of the cynicism he’s developed as a result of growing up in poverty and having to get his hands dirty in one way or another to survive, let alone succeed in life. Still, when it comes to his partner, he takes their troubles and traumas very seriously because he knows what it’s like to be helpless and doesn’t want them of all people to feel that way.

You cannot tell me he isn’t touch starved. In private that man can and will find any way he can to get close to you. He will obvs respect boundaries, but he just finds comfort in your touch. This one is more up to you if it’s a good or bad thing but I like physical touch so it’s good to me.

The man is meticulous. He would want everything to be perfect. He’ll pull whatever strings he can to impress you, and would pay attention to all the things you like. Is there a particular gemstone you like? He’ll make sure all the jewellery he puts on you has them and that they match your attire. You mentioned offhand that there’s a specific dish from Sumeru you haven’t had in a while? Dinner the next day is that exact dish with the most authentic recipe he can have his cooks work from.

Could literally give you any wedding you want, at least as far as cost goes. If it’s some super ridiculous and tacky themed wedding he will more than likely shoot it down, but if we’re talking venues, decor, attire, food, etc, literally do not worry about it. Just tell him what you want and he’ll have it done and paid for yesterday. Small wedding, big wedding, does not matter, he can afford it.

What I’m trying to say is that even if you were to be in an arranged and probably loveless marriage with him, you’d still get a pretty good deal because you still get an interesting and polite man who will take care of your needs. It just happens that if you do marry him for love or eventually fall in love, he will just go all in on you because now he wants to keep you, impress you, and show his appreciation to you.

Anyways seriously hoyo where the fuck is he-

This would’ve been longer but I already shared a lot of my ideas in my domestic pants headcanons, and uh... the rest of my ideas are not pg-13 and I’m not in the smut writing mood (plus I think I’d rather have that in a separate post but I’m not doing it rn)

[spro-o]

Heey i have question that has been on my mind for some time now, this question is more what I heard not really my own opinion. But anyways is lancelot x tristan/ban x meliodas even good ship? I seen some many talk about how theos two ships are baf because for Lancelot and Tristan they have no real relationship in canon or what so ever. Coming to ban x meliodas they more like best friends. Is that true?🤔 I very cousfed if it rignt to ship or not.

hello!! okay im gonna ramble a bit cuz i love yapping about this kinda stuff and dont wanna clog up any feeds, so ill add a 'read further' here :3

i feel like its not very surprising that i do think both ships are good (especially melban). i think that for both of them- yes, they can definitely be read as just being friendships and nothing more than that, but i guess the charm of shipping and headcanons is that you can add in your own interpretations and additions which you think feel right :3

a lot of the interactions between mel and ban, for example, i read as being pretty homoerotic/gay. thats mostly because, as a gay/queer guy myself, i find myself relating a lot to the stuff they do together when comparing it to me and my bf, and also because they are my favourite characters and headcanoning them as being the same sexuality (and gender) that i am is like a little golden sticker saying "fav character" (godbless projection onto your blorbos).

in general, i think its pretty common consensus, at least in my circles, that ships dont have to stick 100% to what the canon says/shows, and you can always add in your own ideas or headcanons to create a relationship either between your favourite characters, or one which you think would be interesting to see, or just one which you think would provide a fun/interesting addition to the story. and in my case, its all of those - i really just adore the dynamic meliodas and ban have, and in addition to my gay reading of a lot of their interactions with one another, it just feels right and fun to ship them (this applies to lancetris as well, but to a slightly lesser extent/not exactly the same)

so yeah, thats my stance on it!! i really like lancetris and adore melban, and i think (considering how much reconning has happened on the fandom's part towards nakaba's,,,, decisions,,,,) it doesnt do harm to read certain friendships as having romantic or sexual under- or overtones

i also feel like i should mention that i only really ship lancetris and melban in separate circumstances, if that makes sense - like, i ship melban a lot harder than lancetris, so whenever i do make any ship art of them (lancetris), i think of meliodas' and ban's relationship like more of a qpr than a fully romantic one, just cuz i feel like it makes it better??? more likely??? less weird?? idk if im making much sense here, but yeah, so thats sm (i guess i also just wanted to state that to clear anything up, cuz i do know how having ship art of both lancetris and melban could come off as kinda weird to some, but idk, maybe im overthinking it (￣▽￣)")

[bathroomtrapped]

saw ask. so let's say hypothetically (not really) all the apprentices are autistic (they are) headcanon them

saw ask ‼️‼️ i completely agree unironically and i keep that in mind when i consume/write/draw saw content. jigsaw apprentices? more like PDA autistics anonymous jfc

i (shamefully) am not an amanda-guy and dont have pretty much any headcanons about her overall so sorry about that but ill do some bullet points for the apprentices bc ive thought TOO MUCH abt this

adam

1. the most obvious PDA manifestation, though i think its strong in mark and lawrence for sure, adam just doesnt mask his. he pretty much built his life around maximizing free will and full control over his schedule

2. constantly reducing sensory input with music and being baked. his apartment is dead silent and dark 24/7 tho

3. honestly i think adam has shocking high levels of empathy. most people in his life wouldnt peg him as someone who would struggle with that but i think its what sets him apart from nearly every saw character. hes so isolated but desperate to understand and connect with other people, even if hes in the shadows

4. studies high class targets and their mannerisms. it helped him function during a few job interviews

5. hates eating, hates effort so pretty much eats like shit. very few specific, cheap, prepackaged meals that he can handle. anything that isnt a time commitment to prepare and eat

6. talks too much to overcompensate (not sure if people are able to understand what hes getting at and ends up rambling)

lawrence

1. i hc him as a narc as well which (as you can imagine) combined with PDA makes instruction/criticism/responsibility stressful so hes constantly overloaded

2. same as above, combined with asd i think its the biggest reason he has that canonical low empathy (similar to mark)

3. can only eat incredibly plain and simple foods. rice, bread, vegetables without butters/oils etc. very picky

4. very little auditory sensory issues after so many years in a hospital and needs noise in order to function (including sleep)

5. started wearing pajamas under his suits after a few years in residency because hes already tired 24/7, the terrible fabric on top of that just makes him insane

6. struggled through med school because lectures are hard to interpret and hes more of a visual learner

7. so much eye contact

8. remember that dog picture in his wallet we see for like 5 seconds? i cant imagine someone like him enjoying the texture or sporadic energy of a dog and makes it sleep in dianas room at night. its not allowed in the office and he meticulously cleans all of the dog hair the second he sees any

9. absolutely allergic to change in every way

mark

1. low empathy as i mentioned before

2. he wears a lot loose fitting suits in canon which i think are for sensory reasons. he clearly prioritizes comfort with those (interesting) track pants?

3. i have joked with my mutuals about his off-putting, autistic ass stare countless times

4. terrible liar because he has less control over his facial expressions and mannerisms. he ends up making too much eye contact and thinks that brutal honesty is a good idea. he has an almost nonexistent filter

5. he reminds me of that brand of autism that a lot of patriarchs have, the kind that goes unnoticed bc theyre the head of the household. meat and potatoes his entire life, strange rituals and routines everyone has to get used to

6. extremely black and white sense of justice and a poor understanding of hierarchal authority. he doesnt get why people are above or below other people and struggles with those concepts

7. everyone in the precinct knows not to joke with mark because it will always fall flat and have to be explained. mark has rly funny but dry and blunt humor himself