#if you take the time to create something like this I'm putting you in my will
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mqrrstarr · 2 days ago
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Gladiator Headcanons! (1/?)
How the Characters would act if you: Had A Cold!
Character x GN! Reader
Warnings: s3x implied
Characters Featured: Maximus, Lucilla, Commodus, Acacius, Caracalla, Geta, Lucius, Macrinus (edited: I never actually wrote anything for him but I did now)
A/N: First Tumblr post in a while, and I'm actually writing things too! This is the first time I've written elaborate headcanons, so please forgive if they seem a little off. I apologize for any historical/character innacuracies, and I hope to get better!! xoxo -mqrrstarr
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
Maximus would immediately notice something is off. You kept complaining about a headache that didn’t seem to stop, and your temperature was high. 
“Darling, I don’t think you should fight today…”
You could only cough in response, and the guards wouldn’t let you rest. As the day’s challenge was fighting in pairs, he rapidly volunteered to fight with you. Maximus protected you from the other gladiators, and killed them as fast as you could sneeze. By the end of the day, Maximus gave you his blanket and other amenities, ushering you to a more comfier cell. (He had placed a bet with another gladiator.)
“There darling, rest up nice and easy.”
I can also see Maximus getting the other gladiators to create a soup/stew sort of mixture. Not good. But he’s very fatherly, if you can get that?
- - - - - - - -
Lucilla knows everything. After taking care of Lucius as a child, she can rapidly tell when you’re not feeling well.
“Sweetie? Do you feel alright?”
She’d do the mom thing, put her hand on your forehead and try to figure out what was wrong with you. Your head was practically boiling, so she’d get her servants to make tea, lay you in her triclinium and keep you company.
“The servants will prove useful sweetie. You’re a strong warrior, so keep hanging on.”
She’d hum a lullaby, read poetry (the same she’d read to Lucius) and tell stories until you fell asleep. 
- - - - - - - -
Commodus was rarely comforted growing up, so he knew how to handle sickness easily. Growing up semi-independent, he knew homemade tricks and tips to feel better.
“Y/N, are you not feeling well? Just get some herbs and drink an elixir. You’ll be fine.”
He realizes that he sounds a bit harsh, and reminds himself that he never wants to treat you how he was treated; with solitude and no gratitude. Commodus gets you all the snacks and food you want, and even hugs you for as long as you want. 
When you question him after it’s been a whole afternoon of him on your chest, he simply says,
“Y/N, do not question the Emperor. I wish to lay with you, and I do not fear sickness. The Gods can protect one of their own.”
He keeps hugging you and falls asleep, and the next day you’re both coughing and sneezing. 
- - - - - - - -
Acacius has been through so many battles and massacres, yet he’s never truly encountered a cold. The soldiers that cough, are usually dead. Coughing up their own blood, that is. He really doesn’t know how to help you properly, but he’ll try his best.
“Angel, can you tell me what’s wrong? I’m not really sure what to do. Should I get a doctor? Are you feeling a certain way?”
and as he says this, Acacius would use his hands to caress yours, and treat you even more like a princess/prince. He’d lay you in his own bed, and give you massages until you’d feel better. He’d also do a little more if you’d want. Iykyk. You’d fall asleep quickly, and you’d wake up to Acacius either next to you, or on a chair by the bedside and he’d be all sprawled out. His soldier senses would wake him up though.
“Angel? Angel? You’re all right now, that’s wonderful. My lovely Venus, you’re all healed.”
And his words, he would seal with a forehead kiss. GOD HE’S SUCH A SWEETHEART I NEED PEDRO PASCAL
- - - - - - - -
Caracalla had his own sickness, the one of syphilis. His wild mentality usually was what kept him going, and the love of ruling over Rome. Yet the Emperor cared for his significant other, and refused to let anyone else; even his closest servants touch you.
“My Wife/Husband, the most holiest of them all, I shall take care of you. Please tell me what your most vivid desires are? Allow me to assist you.”
He’s such a sweetheart, and he’d definitely tell you so many stories of him and Geta in their childhood, Roman mythology, and anything to keep you entertained. As he also has mommy and daddy issues, he also do a Commodus-esque move and lay on your chest and probably fall asleep first haha. When the both of you awake, he'd hear your stomach rumble.
“You’re hungry? Well then I shall feed you. Anything for you my love.”
He’d keep you filled with food and him to help your weak state. (CARACALLA COME HOME THE KIDS AND I MISS YOU)
- - - - - - - -
Geta was always stressed.  Getting much more to do as Emperor, as Caracalla had his own “duties” to fulfill. When you started coughing and sneezing as you strolled in the palace garden, he’d send the servants away to prepare a room where you could quarantine. As much as he loved you, he’d refuse to get sick. (Rome needs a healthy representation.) So you’d be alone the first few days with the occasional knock on the door. When you seemed less sick than before, he’d spend all the time with you.
“My love? I’m here for you. The Gods have finally allotted time for our get together. It will be only the finest in Rome for the night; us.”
He’d definitely turn the situation into a fun (fucking) night and then the days after that would be a cycle of laying together, fine dining meals, and caressing. (your bodies, of course.) When he has to return to his Emperor duties, he’ll leave with a long romantic and passionate kiss, one that made your entire body warm.
“Won’t be long. I’ll be back in the night.”
(if you couldn't tell i love the idea of geta as needy all the time)
- - - - - - - -
Lucius knew what it was like to feel sick and tired constantly, so he took care of you. Like a shepherd tending to his favorite sheep. Both of you grand warriors and gladiators, so there was no time to feel bad. He reassured you he could fight without you, and vowed to come back every time.
“Dearest, I promise to return safely. I couldn’t leave my soul with you, it has to be me truly here always. I vow on our love to fight for freedom and the peace of Rome. I will also fight for you.”
You trusted Lucius, (WHO WOULDN’T WITH THOSE BLUE EYES) and he is a man of his word. Day after day, you slowly healed and was able to rejoin Lucius and the others again.
“See? I knew you’d heal. The Gods give power to those who are great. And you are great.”
You fought as usual, but he’d still protect you a little more to ensure you were actually okay. 
- - - - - - - -
Macrinus would see you and get together some gladiators in your presence, hoping they would entertain you and help you ignore the pain.
“Sickness is nothing but temporary Y/N. You can and have the power to move on.”
You’d take his advice and eventually keep doing your work as his assistant, and he’d make sure you were well taken care of.
“Y/N? A true warrior does not dawdle. Good job keeping up with your tasks.”
Surprisingly, you were able to keep up with work and healed faster than expected. (THERE I WROTE FOR MACRINUS)
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sweetvanilla222 · 2 days ago
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Pick A Fragrance ୨୧₊˚ʚ ;
messages from your higher self <3
you can pick based on appearance of the perfume bottle, or the notes which i will put below ♡ these fragrances are all by Le Monde Gourmand
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pile 1 ~ thé matcha (notes: fig, cedar, matcha tea, bitter orange, vetiver)
pile 2 ~ chai épicé (notes: violet, fig, musk, lily of the valley, blonde woods)
pile 3 ~ fraise fouettée (notes: strawberry, banana, california orange, butter, heliotrope, coconut water, sugar, vanilla)
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pile 1 - thé matcha
hello hello hellooooo. i got a feeling from your higher self that you're a bouncy person. i heard "free-looking" but also free-feeling. carefree kind of person. i'm getting taurus & sagittarius energy (could be significant placements or the house that they fall under in your astrology chart is calling your attention right now! for example, if you're a taurus rising, your higher self would be calling attention to your first house of identity, appearance, self-expression & such). if this resonates, it's extra confirmation that this is for you. i will also pull some paper slips with keywords for extra extra info <3
keywords: searcher & finder (got the message that you're a searcher/you spend lots of time searching but in a fulfilling sense), weekend, sequence, between the lines, triangle symbol (fire, so i'm getting you have a prominent fire placement), missing puzzle piece, "follow ♥︎", illusion, "full?", in the zone
cards: 7 of swords, 2 of swords, the world, page of cups
something your higher self is drawing your attention to is being more strategic when it comes to attaining something. to be more straightforward and honest with yourself. let's say you've been feeling lazy about getting a job but when you see, then fully accept that you have a Need to fulfill, you start to plan out how to attain that goal. you start with your resume, you pretty and polish it up, you create a profile, you start looking for jobs you'd be willing to work at. that's just an example of course, but something about getting real with yourself and getting organized as a result. your higher self is encouraging you very much and also protecting the situation for you. i definitely think they're being loud and clear about it, so if you've been seeing a lot of sings or been called to many readings recently, or been thinking heavily about a change you can make, that's them reaching out! "devote and dedicate yourself to what's important to you". you could be passionate about many things and have many goals but there's something here about re-prioritizing and organizing yourself so you don't overwhelm yourself with goals. take it step by step, one day at a time. just organize your thoughts, take the time to get to the root of your current needs. your higher self is highly recommending you to be decisive right now. and it'll be easier to make decisions once you organize yourself.
the way your higher self is seeing you right now is with pride. you are already so accomplished and maybe don't fully realize Just How Accomplished you are. not to the extent. so they want you to give yourself credit. compare your current self to a past version of yourself that wasn't as wise and didn't have as many tools, and you'll start to recognize just how many things you have done. you've overcome so much and your higher self is like "that's my girl" kind of vibe. you don't have to be a girl of course but it's that kind of feeling of a parent watching a child grow and gently guiding them towards success but really that child is doing so well on their own. but you can rely on them fully (your higher self). they want you to know they're always there for you and that you're so strong! also if you're into travel, they want you to know that you'll be able to do so much of it in your life, and that they'll protect you. "the biggest blessing you're receiving is that you're gonna start to get your shit together and take over the world" lol.
with lots of love, what they're working on and "crafting" up for you right now is: a new learning venture, a new passion/interest/love, an opportunity. take all of those as they resonate.
channeled songs: whenever, wherever by shakira, illusion by aespa, drip by izna, illusion by ateez, bus by travis
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pile 2 - chai épicé
omg HIIII i got a burst of energy for this pile omg. i couldn't even spell LOL. okay. getting a cozy energy from this group like you could be a lover of comfort and all things mellow and relaxing. don't think you enjoy heavy and unpleasant media, which is some interesting wording so maybe you have a nice and adequate vocabulary or you're the kind of person that remains graceful in hard situations even if you're feeling quite intensely about something. i'm getting peaceful, pacifist, but strong vibes from you. your higher self really praises this because i think you've gone through quite an array of difficult experiences but you remain charming, kind, and loving. i just heard "i shed a tear", like i'm picturing your higher self and i think another guide of yours? perhaps an angel, or a "motherly" kind of spirit. definitely a feminine spirit. if saints resonate with you, i do feel that as well. you're definitely being commended for the person that you are. these are all intuitively channeled so far.
keywords: cheer up! signs, bad (i thought of bad, bad, bad by LANY), tell me, journey, set me free, zone, beauty, butterfly
cards: ace of pentacles, 6 of swords, king of cups, 4 of wands
first of all, your higher self is once again commending you for being the way you are. you are very balanced and well-rounded, seeing as we got an earth card, an air card, a water card, and a fire card. you have all the elements within you! and truthfully, we all do, but there's a tendency to lean into some elements more than others. you have the balance. you seem to really alchemize in your life and take in things that are important and necessary to you, leave out the rest, and create beauty. you spread it. i was also hearing that you're the kind of person that people talk about to their friends like. you make good impressions on others quite often. and you are respected. right now, your higher self is calling your attention to keeping your eyes peeled for some sort of promotion/upgrade. if you've been working on a project, they really want you to put it out there and do it your own way. there's a prosperous result on the horizon for you. so pay attention to any creative ideas, inspiration, and epiphanies that come your way! document them! clouds and hanging flowers could be positive signs that an idea of yours will come into bloom or have a very wonderful outcome <3 if you're interested in chakra work, i would suggest doing crown chakra activities/exercises during this time (feel free to look some up!) but yes, your higher self is saying to definitely move towards any creative endeavors right now. there are soooo many possibilities. a book that has really TRULY been super insightful to me as a writer and creative is "the creative act: a way of being" by rick rubin. if you're called to that, please please look into it! ♡
some blessings that your higher self is working on for you at this time are: a good support system, connection, compassion, important (& beautiful) gatherings, wish fulfillment (significant steps that you're taking in the 3D and 5D towards dreams of yours are shaping up into the physical and getting closer to you), celebrations (i also heard congratulations) 🎊🎂
i'm super duper excited for u and i think you're doing wonderfully. if you believe in fairytale endings, i do think that kind of energy is absolutely meant for you. things are happening pile 2!!!! keep movin' <3
channeled songs: bad, bad, bad by lany, any songs that have the keywords i mentioned at the beginning of your reading, such as "butterfly", congratulations by day6.
thank u for being here 🎀
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pile 3 - fraise fouettée
welcome in, welcome in ♡ getting such a sweet vibe from this pile. magical. pink. if this isn't how you see yourself, maybe your higher self embodies that kind of pink, light, fluffy energy. i'm getting you could be really into pinterest, collaging, scrapbooking, ribbons, cake, dainty clothing, white clothing, be into fashion. getting a bit of jennifer aniston kind of energy.. your aura is definitely giving PINK. i also feel like you could smell very good (this is interesting bc the other two piles did not mention anything about the person smelling good despite this being a "pick a fragrance" lol) so i think you're very put together physically, and care a lot about how you present yourself. i think you take other people's feelings into consideration. you have a gentle leader kind of archetype. take that however it resonates. those were the intuitive messages i got, now for keywords!
keywords: bunny, wonder girls, "say ahh", like (with a heart on the i <3), black hair, hundreds, unlock, party, charm, cake, girl's generation (make u feel the heat), sensibility
cards: the fool, the star, 5 of swords, justice
let's get started! i'm getting that you're a smooth talker. you love talking or your passion has something to do with using your voice and really getting a point across to people. and i think you're naturally gifted at that whether you sense it or not. your higher self is reassuring you about this right now, and also bringing your attention to situations where you have to either be upfront with people, explain something to them (maybe some of you are tutors or teachers of some sort), or present ideas to people. so if things like that come up, it was divinely guided for sure. you are meant to really take in this situation and learn from it. i think a lot of doors are opening up for you at the moment, perhaps you're in a "blank canvas" part of your life right now. so many things you could do, so many ways you can go. and it's all up to you. i'm hearing "design your own life". if you're skilled in the arts, you are also skilled in manifestation. that was specifically for you. your higher self is really recognizing your potential right now, if in the past you had a hard time listening to your intuition, they're thanking you now for having faith. "it's not easy, but it's so beautiful and true to you and your journey". for some reason marie antoinette just popped into my mind. you could really influence people because of your natural abilities. and i do think you have lots of potential to gain a lot of recognition for them. big scale. the house that scorpio falls under in your astrology chart could be significant right now, so if you're curious, look into it! at first i was getting such a pretty vibe from this group, and you still are, but as i got more into it, I felt a very sharp and direct feeling from you. you could surprise a lot of people with your thoughts, way of commanding a room, and overall your approach to communication and life. very cool person if i do say so myself.
blessings that your higher-self is sending your way are coming out in quite a straightforward manner: karmic justice. people getting what they deserve. the truth being revealed. unveiling.
i think that your higher self has watched over every single situation where you've been treated unfairly by others. it's funny to them, because they know exactly why those people were acting that way, and they're just happy you won't end up that way. they want you to rest assured, you have nothing to worry about. you can leave all of that in the past, and know that they, and the rest of your guides are all here for you. standing next to you. protecting you. and giving you the wisdom to see through those kinds of situations. you become smarter and much more compassionate each step of the way. your higher self is really working on giving you a more gentle time of your life, full of light, forgiveness, and innocence. beautiful and positive relationships and experiences are coming your way.
channeled songs: smooth operator by sade, pity party by melanie martinez, tell me by wonder girls, dying by echobelly, closer to fine by indigo girls, see you by depeche mode
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i got the idea for a "pick a fragrance" out of the blue but i have watched a video by Kino Tarot on youtube where she did this so inspiration was derived from her :D
thank you for being here ♫⋆。♪ ₊˚♬ ゚. 🌷
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allpiesforourown · 2 days ago
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Hey, so sorry to be using your inbox like a fuckin confessional, but getting that dream thing off my chest literally cleared my skin and I've just got this itch that needs to be addressed so I'm taking it out on you again. Reflecting on this thought the second after I had it made me think, "Oh, I get what Shen Yuan was on about now," and so here I am, typing this shit out ig. fucking embarrassing, anyway.
So, like. I watch those gacha react videos on youtube. Like a concerning amount of those gacha react videos, man. I fuckin love them so much, even if I wouldn't admit to it under pain of death to anyone I know or love. I have a seperate youtube channel I made under a fake email that I made specifically to watch them. It's bad. I remember back when it was just me and the FF.net filter system before they added the 'Without' section at the bottom and trying to find crossover content in the LoZ tag between games. 10th circle of hell; my 13th reason. Gacha react videos in concept are heavensent for my inner child, and on the rare occasion I find one of those 'fandom react' series that are active or complete and well done, it grants me joy on par with nigh nothing else.
This being said, I understand that the main demographic for this content tends to be a handful of years younger than me. I've seen community posts on some channels mentioning their time in college, but these are few and far between in my experience. I appreciate these teen's artistry in putting these all together, because god knows I'm not, but like,,, --and I know I sound like an ass right now but bare with me-- it feels like with the conclusion of Arcane came a flood of reaction videos with no real substance. I've watched upward of what feels like thirty seperate videos --at least,-- on the show and its the same ten to twenty edits I've seen on repeat and I'm watching them by pressing the skip key and catching half the dialouge only to come out the other side tired and a little miffed. Then I feel bad, because they created something and all I did was mindlessly consume and feel entitled to complain. Ugh.
Now, Because I've been cycling through these almost cookie cutter videos for ages --I used Arcane vids as an example before because its recent and relevant, but I do have this take for a whole slew of the fandoms I watch react videos on, and I picked this addiction up in 2021 so it's been a minute-- I've begun predicting the dialouge before it's come up and projecting what I hope the author will say. If I see a video with, for example, Giyuu from kny seeing Sabito in a video, I hope to see shock, yes, but also to see him comment or think about how he hasn't seen his face in so long, you know? Just... things that aren't just "OMG!!" or making the characters eyes widen. I've found now that I seek out these videos for the slim chance that they'll provide me with the satisfaction I get from these moments of true understanding with the presented characters.
Yes, I know that there really isn't any "true" way to understand a character, and that while we are all entitled to our own interpretations of media, the insistence that mine alone is more "right" or "correct" is bullshit, but I'm not saying that my preference has to be law, only that I get a rush of happiness whenever something I like happens to pop up in a video that I was already checking out of because it failed to really,,,,wow me. This is my bias speaking, of course, but its also the reality of my situation borne from overconsumption of this genre.
But anyway, onto the main point of how this relates to svsss. I was watching a video just a minute ago --an Arcane video, big shocker I know-- where there was a line from the creator's Vander character about how he wasn't ready to see Vi so grown up, because to him she's still his little girl. I thought, "Yes!!! This!! He's a father! He's showing realistic reactions to seeing your child suddenly grown up, and while he's proud of the woman she became, he still loves her as she is in the moment!!" ....I then watched the rest of the reaction, and was left cold and disappointed in the end. I'd clicked for Viktor, got three videos of him in a twenty minute reaction when the rest was the same four edits of jinx on repeat. Love you Jinx, but holy fuck. I thought then, "God, what a waste of potential." The creator of the video had insightful dialouge, clearly a decent grasp on character interaction, and the drive to create the video in the first place, but settled for pumping out another copy of the same video they've released three times previous on the same channel.
Then I thought, "Oh, like PIDW."
I need to get a life, Tumblr user allpiesforourown. If your blog wasn't so damn entertaining, I might even go out and touch grass one day. Take responsibility, damn.
(ty for reading my rant, if you did. have a good day regardless.)
I think you watching gacha react videos for characterization might be the one and only thing more baffling than Shen Yuan reading porn for plot. Hope you find gacha videos of Vander teaching his daughter how to ride a bike
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froidefille · 13 hours ago
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Day 20: a fic with fanart
📚 Who we are in the shadows by @quicksilvermaid
Draco/Harry, 99k, E
Summary:
What happens when you’re forced to become the very thing you despise? Ex-Auror Harry Potter, tossed out of the Ministry for something he had no control over, has been looking for a way back to his former life. When he comes across Draco Malfoy in the criminal underbelly of Wizarding London and in need of protection, Harry figures bringing him in to face the Ministry's justice is his ticket back to everything he's lost. But nothing is exactly as it seems. Not even Harry himself. And as he gets drawn further and further into Malfoy's world of honour and deception he finds himself questioning everything he thought he knew—about his childhood nemesis, the Ministry job he misses so much, and most of all, about himself. What happens when you’re forced to see that you were wrong?
Fanart links
🖤Kismet's portrayal of Harry's delirium in the cabin by @kk1smet
🐩 zigster's vision of Harry and his wolf by @zigster-ao3
🤍 junk-ren's depiction of their first meeting
☕ Creeee's art of Draco and Harry hanging out in the apartment by @creeeee
🐺⚡🗡🌕
I have tried, numerous times, to put my stream of consciousness that is me talking about this fic and its' fanart into something resembling a proper rec. Please be kindly informed that I have failed. Apparently, when there's Wolf Harry involved, I loose my ability to be coherent so enjoy me screaming about this work - in spoilers and quotes -under the cut <3
Thank you @hprecfest for the prompt, @quicksilvermaid for creating this story and @kk1smet, @zigster-ao3, junk-ren and @creeeee for sharing your wonderful art with us!
See y'all for day 21 prompt <3
OKAY, here goes!
In the very first scene of the fic Harry recognizes Draco while they are both glamoured by his behaviour alone. He could probably write a PhD on Draco Lucius Malfoy with minimal effort 😅 Oh and the classic "Scared, Malfoy" also makes an appearance as beautifully illustrated by junk-ren <3
The socio-political aspect of the story! Harry is bitten while on duty and he gets sacked bc they can't employ werewolves ????? But they can have people out there on the missions that have put them in this position in the first place? Literally what is this shit! The society's prejudice is harmful enough but what's breaking my heart is that Harry believes it. And then as we learn what exactly has happened and just how conficted Harry is about the way he is now - well, by the end of the story I couldn't help by feel proud of the progress he's made :') The way were-creatures are treated in this society is an excellent metaphore for minorities of any kinds and as a member of one such group, it felt so validating to read about it illustrated like that *melts*
So now Harry is ex-Auror, and rightfully bitter about it, he does private commsions under alias HUNTER JAMES. Yes, you're reading this right. Oh bby, you are NOT being subtle xd Draco, on the other hand, is a fugitive. Which makes for a very delicious suspense throughout the story, the boys never being sure of each other.
Bodyguard Harry while Draco is the brain of the operation !!!!! I am not okay. Literally Harry being muscle (and scents xd) of the op while Draco does all the planning. Exquisite. Also boys just... being themselves ^^
Harry pulls his arm out of Malfoy's grip and barely resists snarling at him. He's suddenly sick of being treated like Malfoy's lackey. 'I'm just the hired muscle, remember. I hardly think it matters if I look pretty.' Malfoy's mouth thins in displeasure. 'And that is exactly why you're the hired muscle and I'm the one hiring you. I know exactly what's needed for you to fit in and not embarrass me, and it's a tailored suit and you need it now. So shut up and hurry up.' Harry narrows his eyes and Malfoy does the same right back.
Werewolf Harry!!!! Scenting !!!! Protective instincts!!!!! TAKING A LITERAL KNIFE FOR DRACO AND ALmosT DyiNg WHIle Draco takes them to a safe house in the middle of nowhere AND TAKES CARE OF HIM WHILE HE’s deLiriouS. And thanks to @kk1smet we have the visual of this scene!!! There's also this little fact that Harry is able to smell bodily reactions so he’s aware of more than Draco wants him to see:
Harry waves the question away. 'So, what prep do you need me to do?' Malfoy's eyes flick across his body for an instant and Harry smells a hint of arousal. It surprises him enough that he breathes deeper, almost unconsciously, but when he meets Malfoy's eyes, there's no hint of his reaction to the words. He wonders if he's mistaken. There's no way Malfoy could be interested in him, especially not after the conversation they'd just had.
... which still doesn't make him any smarter about said reactions 😅
Not to mention his wolf part wants what it wants:
'I need some air,' Harry growls, needing to be away from Malfoy; to be away from the intensity of his emotions. It's the moon, he knows that. He always gets more protective this close to the full moon; always fixates more on people. This level of emotion, though—jealousy—is one he doesn't normally experience. He doesn't like it. He especially doesn't like that it's directed at Malfoy. Fucking wolf. 
I don't know about you but I was cheering for the wolf to have his way 🐺
Harry having the Weasleys as his pack 😭😭😭
'Hi, Harry,' Bill says, reaching out and drawing him into a hug. There's no trace of surprise in his voice. Harry spends most of his moons at the Burrow, weak and shivering through his suppressant potions as Molly fusses over him. Bill holds him tight and Harry lets himself relax into the embrace, letting the familiar sound of Bill's heartbeat relax him slightly.
Harry not accepting himself and keeping his lycanthropy a secret while Draco has ZERO PROBLEM with it AND HE FIGURED IT OUT RIGHT AWAY!!!!!!!!!!! He was literally like, yeah, cool, cool, can we go on now please? And not only that he was literally campaigning wolf rights to Harry himself!
Loyalty Bond!!!!
You wear something of mine - traditionally it would be a house sigil, but I don't think you sporting the Malfoy crest would be advisable.' Malfoy smiles, but there is no warmth in his eyes. 'Then we cast a bond that ties you to me. […] Your mind and your will would be your own. You'd just be incapable of betraying me.' He holds up his hand, clearly anticipating Harry's next objection. 'You would be able to remove the Bond at any time. You just remove the object I give you.'
And despite knowing that, Harry keeps blaming the bond for catching feelings
The bond is creating that sharp, twisting feeling, that feels like jealousy, when he watches Malfoy flirting with the brawny man opposite him.
I hate to break it to you baby but that's just you xd
Also, right after Draco tells Harry he’s not in touch with his family, Harry emphasizes immediately with such feeling:
He feels a tug of loneliness in his chest, at the thought of being without a pack. He forces himself to put ideas like that aside. Thoughts like that are dangerous. Malfoy is his path back into the Ministry and a former Death Eater who needs to be put back in Azkaban where he belongs. That's it.
Sure bby, of course, keep telling yourself that.
There's anger in the room. Sadness. Disgust. It hits him at once, all of it, and it's all he can do to keep standing. Then Malfoy is there, and the door is swinging closed again, cutting the overload off briefly. Malfoy's scent wraps around him as he clenches Harry's arm, leaning in close to look into his face. 'Hunter?' he says, his voice a mixture of annoyance and something else Harry can't quite recognise. 'What's going on?
I can recognise it, it’s concern, it’s care, it’s a hint at the delightful hurt/comfort we are about to be treated with 😄
Oh, and in the meantime, Harry WORKS OUT. Just like that, while poor Draco tries to do some research. Go check out @creeeee's work if you want to see how difficult that must have been for our favourite Slytherin 😅
Also, the UST, the lust and wanting underlying the plot. Which takes some turns but the climax is sooooo satysfying. Of both the plot and the plot-what-plot part :D Honestly, this fic is so hot, I just cannot
THE CAVE SCENE!!
I will never forget it. It was so special :') Wolf Harry!! I love him. He's just a big puppy with sharp teeth, the end. Go see @zigster-ao3's idea of Harry and his wolf and imagine them in that scene. Now you have the visual for all those feelings, good luck ever forgetting that!
Finally I loooooove how we can see their relationship changing over chapters. It so gratyfying when reading a longer fic, when you can explore their relationship's evolving from barely accepting each other to this fierce feeling of adoration.
Lastly - the last chapter. This one I don't want to spoil because honestly, I had tears in my eyes reading this. SO IYKYK 🤍🦊
'I wanted to run with you, though.'
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oddi-verse · 3 days ago
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I got a lot to get through so let's go one by "one"
in order it will be: Dexter The system (Perry, Lionson, Turtle Master, Andrew, spoilers: Persephone, Void, Maniac) Yuuki Gikai Augustus
Dexter hates driving in the snow and his Vigilante outfit doesn't provide a lot of warmth when on patrol. though he can appreciate it when in down time and warm quote: "It would be better if it did not have to be cold for it to snow.."
the system generally really like it. all for their own reasons. Perry is the only one who doesn't like it cuz it slows him down. he can't run errands without snow slowing him down. and he's not really one to stop and smell the roses. quote: "mmaann stop being cold already!! I have shit I needa do and this snow and ice is slowing me down!!" Lionson enjoys the peace that is creates, and it gets him paid more in his construction freelancing. quote: "it's real pretty. and if nothing else I get paid more when I'm doin under the table work.- wait don't tell Dexter it's under the table.." Turtle Master loves looking at the snow. just sitting and watching it makes him feel very peaceful. quote: "I'm just... gonna sit... and watch.. the snow.... Brew me some tea.. or hot cocoa.. and watch.." Andrew feels so little care for snow. he doesn't like or hate it.. he spends most of his time in his lab with no windows so he doesn't really interact there. quote: "wait is it snowing? shoot I guess I needa send Perry to get my supplies earlier today- wait it's not snowing?? then why the fuck you asking me about snow?! get outta here!" (this question was asked in July.) the rest of the system characters haven't been introduced so spoilers: Persephone loves to explore outdoors and appreciates all kinds of weather in nature because she likes to just watch as nature grows and changes around her Quote: "oh- it's pretty! people don't recognize the sort of beauty that can come from a snowy forest.. the slightly foreboding feeling is so nice to see and feel.." Void loves the snow. he loves the silence that accompanies a snowy landscape. it lets him feel like himself. quote: "huh? me? not Maniac or- oh okay.. uh.. I like it. it's quiet. makes me feel like I'm allowed to actually be myself for once. which... isn't very common." Maniac couldn't care less about snow. he'll keep on keeping on with what he's doing in that moment no matter what the weather is. though he does like pranking Andrew by getting naked in the snow then forcing him out quote: "what? why would I care?! Dex won't spar with me in the cold but Augustus or Yuuki might. there's no weather I really care about. everything kinda gives me a different challenge.. I like finding ways around those challenges... though on slow snow days I'll pull some deviousness with Drew"
Yuuki likes the snow. it's pretty and reminds her of Asuna. as well as the fact that her Spark keeps her warm well enough Quote: "oh the cold weather doesn't really bother me so I just really like how pretty it is"
Gikai's robot body computer systems are protected from the water and the cold keeps the robot bodies running longer without having to refuel as often. Quote: "I like the snow. helps keep me going for a longer time.. pretty? I mean I guess so but you can only see so many 'pretty' videos of something before being oversaturated in it, y'know?"
Augustus likes the snow as much as any weather. he uses it as a weapon to fight and when it's snowing out his non-lethal attacks are much stronger. so he appreciates that much. quote: "awe who put you up to asking me this? Dexter? Persephone?? Logan? eh whatev's, doesn't matter.... my Snow and ice abilities with my Spark are strengthened when it's snowing so I can take people down without hurting them easier.. but I don't really care much for any particular weather... 'pretty'? m8 I do not careee. it's just a part of the sky. I see snow every day when I'm flying. it's just another thing."
how does your oc feel about snow?
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canisalbus · 6 months ago
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hey there! sorry to bother again, but I was in a animating mood, so I ended doing a short animation of Machete for practice. It's kinda messy since I havent done that for a while, but hope you like it!
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swordheld · 1 year ago
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hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?
hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].
but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.
it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.
and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.
the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.
an emptiness, like you said.
but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.
you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.
he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.
but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.
how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.
the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.
think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.
i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.
but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.
as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛
#q&a.#birdsong.#wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3#i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac-#in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai#after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really.#i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track.#and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy?#it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where#it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that.#how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love.#i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together.#i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too.#the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe.#so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc.#i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.
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sysig · 9 months ago
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One better (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#Blood#I knew going into this and it was still so distressing :'0#Who needs plot twists when you can create such an intense sense of Dread#Probably doesn't help that I read this At Night In the Dark lol - actual shivers#Gods this was a hard scene to read - there have been several instances of my face hurting from furrowing my brow so hard haha#The way that ''Doctor'' is written is So skillful - I'm so impressed by everyone's prose and quirks and syntax!#Not to mention when he breaks character in a later scene to apologize for taking a bit to move the scene along haha <3 Play!!#It really does speak to just how much skill and effort is put into everything <3 It's so well done all the way around!!#Anyway to the actual scene at hand lol ow :') Drawing blood is always fun but I wish it wasn't his ;u;#Ugh the way he takes the surgeries is so well written - fear of course but a kind of stoic suffering as much as he's able to -#Until it comes to his eye#Ugh the /break/ of it all he goes from so eloquent - almost snarky and silly! Still trying to find an out make peace do /something/#It all goes completely out the window he's so /reduced/ and nothing hurts worse than that ughughugh#For all his intelligence and wit and prior successes and charm and just - everything that makes him /him/ to be dissolved into abject fear#It's so sad ;; And so well done <3#And he still holds enough of himself to know what he'd be losing wegh it's so sad!! He's so defined by his vision as most VUX are it's fjdsl#Zelnick is already gone by this point but I wanted to throw him in for extra sad flavour :')#Plus - I've mentioned his post-Op was one of the ones from the gallery that Actively kills me every time I look at it#Can you imagine my heartbreak to find out that he didn't have his Captain to comfort him after this in actuality? That he was fully alone?#''Are we home? Is it over?'' ''N...not yet'' - The Absolute Devastation of realizing that Never Was not really#Just tear my heart out why don't you ugh I'm fully bleeding out 💔#That last one is actually meant to be Max but it's open to interpretation :)#I think it's such a waste that his eye was just disposed of! Someone else could've used that (lol)#I do think there's something to the idea of seeing what used to be a part of your body elsewhere - like the Leftovers!#Even just keeping as a memento tho - a trophy - insult to injury but literally#Just points to no one being special and nothing being sacred I suppose
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chaotictarlos · 1 year ago
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emotional-piece-of-meat · 1 month ago
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Let me introduce you to this concept: batkids pick a silly t-shirt of the week, in which Brucie will be “accidentally” caught by the paparazzi.
Dick, as a millennial he is, chooses something with mottos like yolo or jokes about coffee. He also has a special love for quotes and puns, which nobody but him finds funny.
Jason does not participate, because he refuses to think about Bruce more than it’s absolutely necessary. And if some t-shirt reminds him of his dad Bruce, well, he just passes by.
Barbara, although she has a wonderful sense of humour, uses her power to spread awareness instead. When an important social or political event takes place in Gotham and beyond its chapels, the choice is hers.
Cass loves matching t-shirts, because it makes her feel that she belongs. Every time it's her turn to pick, newspapers spread out the touching headlines like “Bruce Wayne was caught with his daughter in I'm with stupid t-shirts”.
Steph simply goes to the women's department and chooses one of those ugly Eiffel Tower or a rhinestone “princess” t-shirt. They're also usually pretty tight, and, trust me, the press just loves it.
Tim wake up and choose violence Drake prints t-shirts himself, always putting some brainrot words on them. That's how “what a sigma” and “skibidi toilet rizzler” appeared in Bruce's wardrobe.
Damian takes great pride in his t-shirts, because he draws pictures on them by hand. Nobody could convince him that it's not, in fact, a competition, and he has to make sure that he is winning.
Duke always gives Bruce some niche band t-shirts. Plot twist? These bands do not exist. He just creates them himself and then proceeds to gaslight people, because “what do you mean you don't know batshit on the rooftop? You, uncultured pig! Their music literally changed my life!”.
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gimmick-blog-bracket · 3 months ago
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@hellsitegenetics
I love them
I didn't know I needed to know that the weed-smoking girlfriends post was genetically a wolf, but I did, and I do. Also puts great stuff on my dash.
it’s so fun to be scrolling unhinged posts and then boom. an organism!
so many moths‼ also, unexpected comedy with some of the matches
perfect blend of silly and informative, and makes for an excellent punchline at the end of a long post. puts creatures on my dash. literally what more could you ask for
It's a really unique blog concept and a lot of times the results are pretty funny. It's great when the sequence matches the post content too!
Creatures 👍
Finds beautiful creatures out of the mess of the hellsite
Offers finality AND gives us a creechur.
I love them. English speakers talk like moths
If this blog wins, they could run the text of the winning announcement, and determine the post's genus and species!
They're also very good about tagging the type of creature depicted in the results, so as long as you mute tags of creatures you don't want to see, it's a very fun time seeing iconic legacy posts (and new submissions) being reduced down to a string of letters and assigned a random species of fish or moth or something!
uhh it’s cool
BLAST
There are so many weird bugs in the world
Yippee!!
If, as Haldane said, God has an inordinate fondness for beetles, then surely this blog proves that Tumblr has an inordinate fondness for moths.
Top tier blog as a geneticist, I love seeing obscure organisms and MOTH
Admin got rate limited after trying to blast the bee movie
the knowledge of biology to pull this off (i have taken one biology class in my life) and also the work to find all the strings honestly deserves quite a bit of praise
This gimmick blog has it all: science, pictures of animals, interaction with the text of other peoples' posts, interesting information, and a unique and fun premise. As a biologist, I'm rooting for hellsitegenetics to reach the end and take the tournament, because it is truly a standout among gimmick blogs.
If they win, perhaps this blog too shall become a cool organism :3
@one-time-i-dreamt
people sometimes dont read the URL and think that the dream is something that actually happened. creates confusion and the funny
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facts-i-just-made-up · 5 months ago
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Not A Joke, Not Unreality:
A company called Quantum Fiber (under Century Link) recently set up my home town for fiber optic internet. I got them a month ago and aside from a few outages it was decent.
Last week, it went out. They sent me a super specific time it would be back-
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They failed to make it and sent another, minutes later.
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And another when that failed.
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And over the week, more and more.
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I called and they just read me the same email out loud. They offered no escalation or resources. Every time, they fail. I have not had internet for my house in a week, and this morning I got this one-
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I looked into other people having the same problem and found this-
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Edit forgot link
That's not something called a "766" line, that's them fucking up my city 766 times. This company is fucking shit, and I'm sick of this. I've filed an FCC complaint but those take a month to even get a reply.
So I'm hoping my 173,365 followers can help make this show of their ineptitude and callousness go viral. Please.
They are in a time of massive expansion into many new states and cities. I am asking anyone so inclined with a few minutes to spare to find your town or state's government information technology office or liaison, or just a local government representative of any kind, and write them a quick note stating that this company destroys town utilities and offers absolute frustrating failures of service in return.
If you have Quantum Fiber and have been similarly failed by them, please file an FCC complaint. You might at least get a free month out of it.
If you work with a news source or popular blog, please boost this however you can.
If you are on any app on which they are present, please feel free to write or tag them and let them know they have failed their customers and cities they work with.
Please do not engage in threats or harassment of any form. Keep this legal, civil, and proper so that it can create a legal basis and record of good citizen interaction on the part of this company's victims. I am asking for help in a grassroots campaign, not a violent or prank-filled heap that just gets people in trouble. AND DO NOT FOR ANY REASON EVER PESTER THE WORKERS, PHONE REPS AND TECHNICIANS THEY HAVE OUT THERE. This is the corporation's fault, not the poor folks they employ who they likely try to make take the backlash.
If you have any other ideas on how to hold a mega-corp responsible for the shit they put their customers through, please comment and recommend. I am sick of this shit. I know there are worse things happening and even worse companies doing horrid things right now. But maybe this one is new/small enough that a viral campaign can kick them where it hurts and get them to act more responsibly to their customers and safely to the places they work.
Please help if you have time. Please spread this in the hopes they see it and get off their butts and fix their horrible shit. Any random reblog or post on any platform might be the one their investors hear of.
Thank you anyone for anything you can do.
-Ari
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jimmythejiver · 11 months ago
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So Ang aka Recapkid aka Handsome Hugs aka whatever the fuck they calling themselves now* poisoning the discourse while doing exactly in rl what his art portrayed (allegedly) is why we don't get to have nice shit in ZADR fandom anymore, huh.
*My knowledge of Rek/Recapkid saga ended initially when they first made their first dramatic exit in fandom. Everything after is what I had to track down to verify tonight.
#there'll always be wolves among the sheep and obviously fuck your fandom if it hurts people yada yada#idk what to believe but it is apparent something is not right with ang beyond drawing sick cartoons#i've seen them get harassed and bullied years ago and they were toted as a fandom martyr#but i don't have a reason anymore to think the alleged abuse accusations about them is false anymore#and perhaps their victims did retaliate in such a way to ruin their life and have them lose their job health insurence#but by not taking the end of life care and persist to taunt them and play victim ang has made their case look worse and indefensible#that no matter how you slice it no matter what ang has went through and what they did or didn't do to these people they created bad optics#i predict we're going to get another monster ballooned into a bigger monster here and no apology or accountability#this person is like if chris chan had gotten nearly as far as john k. in terms of legitimacy and cult of personality#i'm not being glib if the full story is true#they were exposed time after time but kept muddying the waters like an abuser does by calling their victims the abusers#and people eat it up as lies spread around the world before the truth can put its shoes on#and then leave truth freezing in the rain when it's already not welcomed as lies makes itself at home with your hot cocoa and blanket#i was never invested in rek as i knew od rhen as a person like i saw so many in fandom were#but i see what looks like a bullying campaign and condemned that#but now i have to question if they staged the bullying and exit for sympathy points to fit a narrative#because no former child turned adult would doggedly follow around their abuser from account to account#because they stumbled upon or hacked their adult account and were traumatized to vengeance and decided they need to ruin lives#no it is because ang or rek or whatever couldn't fucking disappear for real and stop bothering these people and prey upon some new ones#again allegedly and just my opinion#idk the real facts than the they said she said of it all
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so-many-ocs · 5 months ago
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practical writing advice
part 2
avoid writing in bed if you can. writing in bed is the mind-killer. writing in bed is the little death that brings obliteration. you may think "but i can write AND be cozy" you will get sleepy so fast. 98% of the time when i try to get a nighttime writing session done in bed i go to sleep. maybe 70% of the time if it's an afternoon writing session. also it fucking kills your wrists.
STRETCH before writing. stretch as many parts of your body as possible ESPECIALLY YOUR WRISTS! i have chronic tendonitis in both of my arms from not doing this and it is manageable but it is Not Fun!
plug your phone in on the other side of the room. better yet, plug it in and leave it in another room. better yet, power it off and leave it in another room. "i'll just check one quick thing" do not underestimate the power of the doomscroll.
do a warmup. look up writing prompts (i like one-word prompts or prompts that focus on a general theme as it's easier to integrate into my writing style), set a timer for fifteen minutes, or ten, or five, and go ham. make it shitty or incomprehensible, as long as you make it. create a dump document for all your warmups. i currently have two novels in the works that started as one of these fifteen minute little warmups.
pick your background noise ahead of time if you use it, and look for something long. i listen to 3-hour-long silent hill ambient mixes on youtube dot com.
take breaks. around every 45 minutes, as i'm noticing myself begin to lose focus, i get up, grab a drink, get my blood flowing, and give myself some space to breathe.
sometimes i sit down to write and i think "every atom in my body is averse to doing this right now. i would rather dance barefoot on a bed of nails than open my laptop and start typing." and you know what i do? i go do something else instead. don't force it! it will become a chore.
that being said! write as often as possible. try to write every day. try to write at the same time. don't beat yourself up if you can’t, BUT the more often you write, the more often you'll want to write.
if you're stuck on a scene or a page or a chapter, go back to the last place where you felt like you knew what you were doing and start writing from there. keep a copy of your other writing in case you want to reuse it or refer back!
i don't know if this is something that will be helpful for other people but i start mentally preparing myself for my writing session a few hours ahead of time. i will say to myself, "today, at this time, i'm gonna sit down and write that scene where mina walks out on her book club, and it's going to be awesome and i'm looking forward to it." then, by the time i actually begin, i basically have the whole thing written out in my head and can just put it down to paper. it's a good way to at least kickstart the session !
ok thanks bye
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inkskinned · 1 year ago
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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fuckyeahisawthat · 10 months ago
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So there is this thing that the two Villeneuve Dune movies do together that I cannot stop thinking about, where they will present something (often, a weapon) in a context the first time around where it looks a certain way (often, very sexy and cool). And then they will present it again in a way that doesn't exactly negate your reading of the original context but makes you recoil in horror from the new context.
Paul and Jessica using the Voice to escape from their Harkonnen captors? Very sexy and cool. Look at them working together, mother and son, a couple of space witch badasses.
Jessica using the Voice on Chani to force her to participate in reviving Paul after he drinks the Water of Life? Horrifying. Saying you will be part of this myth that has been created to serve political ends that have nothing to do with your liberation, and if you don't do it voluntarily to save the person you love then I will make you do it.
Chani and Paul working together to take down the ornithopter gunship using those little shoulder-fired rockets? Very sexy and cool, we love guerrilla warfare against an occupying army. (I'm not being facetious here, this sequence is extremely satisfying to watch.)
The much later image of Paul silhouetted against the blast from the missiles from his family's private nuclear arsenal blowing up the shield wall? Nightmarish.
The way the climactic battle to retake the palace at Arrakeen extends into the night so that it begins to look very very much like the initial Harkonnen attack on the same place? I'm sure this is intentional; the whole third act is about taking a giant sledgehammer to the idea that the Atreides are the better or more civilized imperialists.
Perhaps my favorite example of this is the Atreides signet ring. When Paul first puts it on in the first movie, it's a symbol of him accepting that Leto is dead. It's a melancholy moment, but it's also a sign of Paul accepting the responsibility of his birthright as the new Duke.
Early in the second movie, when he is trying to be equal to the Fremen, he takes the ring off. And you just know that when he decides to put it back on again, that will be the sign that everything's about to go to shit. And when it happens it's a very similar moment--it is Paul accepting his birthright, just a different kind. But the accompanying feeling is oh no.
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