#if you tag as ship i will eat your shins

[manyunhappygreenies]

my epiphany was turtle oc and I love her with all my heart.

NOT SHIP ART.

[gay-s0ck-puppet]

in honor of me not having the energy/mental capacity to tune into the riptide stream i have decided to compile all my favorite gillion quotes/moments from episode #90. obviously spoilers ahead. behold:

~ “Well that wasn’t your teeth so I’ll assume that was just a playful threat. The difference is: I’m going to actually eat you.”

~ Kuba: “I do wanna make sure I’m crushing you at your peak.”

Gillion: “You know actually, it’s funny you mention that because I was gonna get this new armor commission, so right now you’re fighting a very very weak, weak, unarmored version of me. So when you lose it’s gonna feel even worse.”

~ “You [pointing at Kenta] are gonna have an opportunity to attack but you’re not gonna do it! Cuz this is the small boy we keep on the ship, and that’s not what we fuckin do around here ok?”

~ “I was worried I was gonna need to use a spell or something. But I can save it all for you.” *rips his fucking shirt off and lets it fly dramatically into the wind* [i need everyone to understand that he did the 80,000lb anchor bit shirtless this is so important. also fuck canon his hair definitely came loose from its bun and flew dramatically behind him.]

~ *puts on the dread helm* “This is the helm I put on when I no longer need to be Gillion Tidestrider, Champion of the Undersea, Hero of the Deep. This is the helm I put on when I’m going to cut off your fucking hands. And I’m gonna make sure that whatever nightmares you walk out of here with are gonna be far worse than mine.”

~ *cuts off Kuba Kenta’s hand* “You know, I had some pretty bad nightmares recently myself. The crazy part of them was: you weren’t in them. Because the nightmare was I’d never be able to do That.”

~ “No I’m going to eat you! Not if i eat you first!” *Kuba Kenta grapples him with a bite* “No! You weren’t kidding!”

~ [directed at the moon] “Mommy help.”

~ “You know the crazy thing about nightmares, Kuba? They keep getting worse!” [makes anchor 80,000lbs and starts falling, grabs onto Kuba] “NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE!”

~ “Huh. That is really soft- AAAGHHH”

~ Charlie: “I look at Chip then I look down at the cat then I look back up and give him a little thumbs up and then I fucking fall through the ground at 1000 miles an hour.”

Bizly: “I open up the door. I close back the door and look at Jay. (as Chip) ‘There’s a lot goin on out there.’”

~ ‘Light Mode!’ being the command word for the anchor because the command for Chip’s sword is ‘Hot mode’

~ “I just have a feeling if i get out on the dock wrong and hit my shin I’ll die. That’s kinda where I’m at right now and I do that, Chip, a lot.”

~ “When he’s up, and if he ever decides to come after us ever again, I will literally eat him as promised!”

~ “Is it just a thing then you people in the navy say to fuck with us before you die? Like just some shit like ‘I’ll be back’? Cuz that is kinda wrong.” *looks at kira* “We’ll be back.”

~ “Nice to meet you! Gillion Tidestrider. Sorry it couldn’t be on better terms. Thanks for being down there, I appreciate it. Um. Your vice admiral is a bit of a cock. Huge cock.”

~ Gillion: “I didn’t know you had gills, by the way. That’s great! That makes things a lot easier.”

Jay: “Yeah, no, they kinda hurt. When I put them in.”

Gillion: “…..When you what?”

Charlie: “And Gillion is deeply disturbed by this, enough to just leave the situation.”

~ *looking at the scratches from Kuba Kenta* “I’m sure I’ll figure it out. *looks at Chip’s bed* Hopefully he, at least, is sleeping a bit more soundly. And then I narrate as I crawl into my barrel, head first, and rotate into a fetal position.”

.

i am so very normal about him. anyway rb/tag with you favorite riptide quotes (gillion or otherwise) but please no spoilers for the latest ep.

[ehimemo34]

I haven't posted on tumblr in a hot minute but I came back to say this.

Sasuke x Naruto shippers, get your asses out of the Sakura x Sasuke tag. Ur legit bitching over nothing.

We don't go all up in your tags and complain. And even if we do, it's bc y'all did it ours first.

More on this rant:

Not liking Naruto x Sasuke does not make you homophobic. Period. You don't have to like the ship at all, and there are legit REAL and CANON reasons people dislike the ship.

You do not have to like sakura x Sasuke either, I understand if someone would dislike the ship bc of how the relationship started and such.

Naruto x Sasuke shippers, please kindly take ur bullshit somewhere else. Sasuke and Sakura are canon, please kindly get over it. They are together, they have a child, they have had romantic moments in the anime, novels and manga. Get. Over. It.

You use the excuse that the relationship is dead, or that Sasuke is a shitty husband or father, or that Sakura is a shitty wife or some shit about her character and achievements, blah blah blah, I read a post about it and the person admitted they haven't watched Boruto, so they have zero idea of what's actually happening.

Sasuke, for one, isn't a shitty husband. Yes I will admit he is absent, but he feels deeply guilty for it, and tries his hardest to make up for it in the way he can.

Sasuke being a deadbeat dad, is so far from the truth that is actually shocks me. People say he only trains Boruto, which is very much not true. He trains sarada quite frequently. An example of this being the fact, he came back for the chunin exams to watch her, he actually states that to her and Sakura. He teaches her chadori (I can't spell it okay? Gimme a break) and water style actually. And it's even in the novels that when he does come home, he spends a lot of time with her, training her or even just spending time with her in general.

The idea he is a shitty husband, is so far from the truth, and you clearly have zero understanding of his character. (Also while where on this note, I would like to add; he would treat Naruto exactly the same as he treats Sakura, if him and naruto where canon that's the truth) he does small but powerful gestures to show his love and care for her. Such as tapping her forehead, holding her hand, saying thank you to her (which is the Japanese way of saying I love you), protecting her, eating the food she makes him and complementing it. There's more but I'm not gonna list em all here.

Now onto Sakura.

This idea that her achievements are fanon and not canon are just..insane to me.

Its literally stated in data books, anime and novels that not only is Sakura the head of the hidden leaf hospital, but she also OWNS hospitals/child mental health services in the sand and leaf.

It's stated that she is one of, if not the best medical nin, in the leaf and practically everywhere else.

She's also fought and defeated mostly everyone she's ever battled against. (not including Sasuke bc let's be real, that was not even a fight)

She's known for having monster strength, or superhuman strength.

She went up against shin, who had so many bloody sharigans he may as well be called Danzo 2.0 and kicked his ass.

Shes saved the lives of thousands.

This is getting super long so I won't list anymore, but please, if ur gonna argue about sasusaku or hate on either Sakura or Sasuke, please at least have your facts correct.

[ankhegs-in-my-salad]

9 People You Want to Know Better Tag

Tagged by @redroomroaving, thank you!!!!

Three ships: This is the moment I realise that I'm not actually a massive shipper unless it's OCxOC. I could cheat and do three Abdirak ships but I'll refrain. I'll go with the categories Taken Over My Life, New Ship, and Evergreen Ship.

Abdirak x Elorin (BG3, Elorin is the one OC I will allow here, this pair has taken over my life), Morrigan x Alistair (DAO, I'm still on my first playthrough and I know Alistair probably wouldn't survive this ship but I am FEELING it), Roslin x Adama (BSG, an obvious one I know but your honour I love them)

First ship: Oh this is tough. The very young monsterfucker in me was extremely happy when Goliath and Elisa (Gargoyles) hooked up though. It's probably them. Xena and Gabrielle probably were a close second

Last Song: TRUCKS IN PLACE by Ludwig Goransson

Last Movie: The Meg lmao. I'd never seen it before and I needed something ridiculous to captivate me while on an exercise bike

Currently Reading: Your Mind Is A Terrible Thing by Hailey Piper

Currently Watching: Finally braving Good Omens 2, only one episode in though.

Currently Eating: Shin Noodle cup

Currently Craving: A larger Shin Noodle cup

Favourite colour: Black. Don't come at me with your "it's not a colour." I'm not a physicist, I don't care

Favourite flavour: Shin Nood- JOKING. How can one pick a single favourite flavour?? Impossible.

Current obsession: Baldur's Gate my beloved

Last thing I googled: China Mieville (somehow I missed he was released a novel today!!! - a collaboration with KEANU REEVES?? ?)

Favourite season: Hard to pick between winter and autumn. If forced to choose I'd go with autumn. Ask me tomorrow and it might be different

Skill I’d like to learn: I'd like to actually git gud at art but I can kinda draw so let's assume it means from scratch. Programming probably, I'd love to play around with making games

Best Advice: Don't stress about aging. I'm a lot happier at 35 than I was at 25. Don't be afraid of it and don't let anyone tell you that you can't Stay Silly.

No pressure tags for @insanefan @gothic-ivory @sweetmage @tavyliasin @cedar-phoenix and anyone else who'd like to play!!

[vampyreki]

Current things tag meme!

thank you for the tag @collectorcookie!!

3 ships : I'm going to limit to 1 per fandom (because otherwise i would abt enstars ships for hours)

so

Maoritsu (the name order is dynamic wise) : whenever I read a story with them in it (or any knight and trickstar story) i feel like i'm watch a telenovela (or an opera like in operetta lol) i'm not immune to the childhoods friends trope tooo or vampire theme either

Shin soukoku : i read 55 minutes recently and at some point i was "omg enemies to lovers <\3" a bit ironically because

i sent one of my friends these passages and was like "is it not one of your dark fantasy enemies to lovers novel tell me" and she went :0 when i told her they're not canon

Hifudo (binge watched both seasons of hypmic recently) : Childhoods friends;;;;who live together;;;;despite being pretty much opposite ;;;;; they're so clingy too likeee hfjksjdd

THEY HAVE DINNER TOGETHER!!! HIFUMI COOKS FOR DOPPO PRETTY MUCH EVRYDAY! they are the ultimate married couple to me (i dont have the screenshots on hands but the scene in season 2 where theyre eating together pasta made by hifumi and he mentions he's going on a buissness trip and asks doppo if he's not going to be lonely without him while making bunny ears with his hands which made me go : wtf okay ive seen yaoi less gay than this )

Last song : ghibli ost i was listening to fall asleep (highlight from castle in the sky on spotify)

Currently reading : bsd light novels and a bunch of manga

Currently watching : Sasaki to miyano / My new boss is goofy (i've already read the manga for both of them but it's fun to watch them talk and move)

Last movie : Kiki's delivery service!

Currently consuming : a lot of tea, mostly black tea with honey

currently craving : food wise : not much, physically for my cold to be over :( and mentally to have more motivation for my finals and uni in general :/

Tagging @evylraat, @2-wink (but no pressure) and anyone else is welcome to join!

[whorefordazai]

Can I request Dazai, Chuuya, Atushi, and Ranpo reacting to you telling them that you shifted dimensions to their dimension.

telling them you shifted into their dimension

ft. dazai | chuuya | atsushi | ranpo x gn! reader

genre: fluff, comedy

warnings: none

Dazai

When he first saw you, he’d be a little curious😏

But he wouldn’t exactly know that you’re from another dimension. Somethings up, but what?

When you finally decide to tell him, it would take a few seconds of disbelief/silence for him to process it.

“Dazai, I’d like to say that I shifted dimensions to this dimension☺️”

“.....did you hit your head somewhere, darling? Should I get Yosano ◕‿◕?”

“I’m serious ^o^”

He wouldn’t show it, but he’ll believe you after a while of thinking to himself. I mean, something like “the book” exists so why not being able to shift dimensions?

He would ask you how to shift

“PLEASE teach me how to shift 😊🙏”

“Didn’t I say my dimension is a rotten piece of shit? Why do you think I’m here ◕ ◡ ◕?”

It would be the both of yours little secret🤞

He’s curious, so he’ll constantly ask you what things are like back where you actually “live.”

“You guys are fictional characters and everyone is in love with you🙂”

“That’s right. I expected nothing less ▰˘◡˘▰”

“They’re also in love with a 5’3 redhead with anger issues and an emotionally constipated emo boy •‿•”

“....wait—who could that be 🤔”

Wait till you tell him about soukoku😄

“WHAT? How could my fans betray me like that? Impossible. Why would I ever be in love(🤢)with that hatrack⁉️”

For your own safety, never mention chuuya ever again okay☺️?

Real talk, tell him everyone just wants to give him a hug and tell him to live 😕

He’ll be shocked, blush a little, and make a dash for it to run away🏃🏼‍♀️💨💨

What, did you actually think this mf knows how to express his emotions 🤣🤣? (cries)

Chuuya

He won’t ever believe you ಥ‿ಥ

“Chuuya...I’ve been meaning to tell you something...”

“Okay, spit it out ಠ_ಠ”

“...I’m from a different dimension.”

“...ᇂ_ᇂ”

“◕ ◡ ◕?”

“Did you hit your fucking head somewhere? Stop talking crazy shit, we have a mission.”

Just accept it, y/n. Stay quiet and accept your fate 🧍‍♂️🤚

He doesn’t have time to deal with even more crazier shit than he does on the daily. So just live your life without him acknowledging it.

But—in the case where he does find out—he’ll have a different reaction. More of a shocked “I don’t have time for this/why does shit like this always happen to me”

He’ll pinch the bridge of his nose and and grab both your shoulders and say “okay, I’ll pretend I didn’t hear this, okay? I heard nothing. Nothing at all.”

If you wanna die, definitely bring up dazai !

“Chuuuya~the fans back at home wanna know about you and Dazai 🌝”

“HUH? What about me and that mackerel🤨?”

Consider him half dead from shock and disgust when you say that people ship him and Dazai.

“No no no. I can’t do this. Not today. Not ever.”

*walks away after gracefully punching a wall* 🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️

“But c’mon chuuya, what about that one dead apple scene ◕3◕?”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS A DEAD APPLE??? And for your information, I was passed out so I have no recollection of it😐”

“But you looked like you were about to give him head🤔”

“FUCKING—this is just sexual harassment at this point😐”

Atsushi

Kinda like Chuuya, wouldn’t believe you at first. In fact, he’ll think you have a screw loose in your brain🧐

“Are—are you okay? Do you have fever?”

He wouldn’t be 100% sure of what’s going on (he never really does) but he’ll end up being like “okay, so now what ◕ ◡ ◕?”

Tell him that everyone back in your dimension just wants to hug him and tell him it’s alright and shower him with so much love.

He’ll start crying cuz of that 🥲

Tell him about shin soukoku and he’ll probably break :p

“HUH?? Absolutely not. Akutagawa is never on my mind. I’m never thinking about him. BOYFRIEND?? I’M NOT EVEN—“

It’s okay Atsushi 😙

Apart from that, I think he’d sometimes forget you were from a different dimension if you were acting normal.

I mean, he’s accepted at this point that he’s the one who attracts crazy weird shit so he’s not surprised anymore 🤷‍♀️

But he’d be even more curious as to what people are saying about him in your dimension.

“Atsushi, people want you to show them beast beneath the sheets ◕ ◡ ◕”

“...what is that ◕ ◡ ◕?”

Tell him what that is, then he’ll flip 😁

“NO—NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT! What’s happening? How did I end up having this conversation? Why is it always me😄?”

Ranpo

He would know. He would just know.

The moment you step into their dimension, Ranpo wouldn’t hesitate to call you out and be like “Y/n is from another dimension.” And then go back to eating his candy.

Everyone who heard him: ʘ‿ʘ?

In fear of him being right, they never brought it up again <3

Would casually ask you, “the next time you come here, bring candy back with you.”

“...uh sure ◕ ◡ ◕?”

He seems oddly calm🙂?

He’s always asking you if bus routes are easier back where you live or if there’s better candy flavors 🤔

Tell him about Ranpoe <3

“Poe? Well yeah, he’s a boy who is my friend. So I suppose that makes him my boyfriend. And no one else can have him, alright🤨?”

Suddenly gets all possessive of Poe from people who are from another dimension 🧐

tag list: @uwu-monster101 @14th-century-homosexual-spirit @yosanoslut @cross-crye @stylesketches @starglow-xx @ranposlover @bsdwhore @arimakii @cytolysis @shadyteacup @dai-tsukki-desu

IM SORRY I forgot to tag y’all the first time AGAIN😖👆

wanna be added to the tag list? Comment on the post HERE

[weaverhawk]

reveal your watch and rewatch drama list

I was tagged by @bobafvcks, ty friend! 💕

Since this post has gotten kind of long, I want to put my tags at the top! I'm tagging @sofarraway, @so-sad-lol, @igonecrazy and @s-te-f if you haven't already done this!

This is roughly what my to-watch list looks like right now:

There are thrillers/crime dramas (that will probably make me cry), historical tv shows (that will definitely make me cry), supernatural romance shows (where I'll probably be shipping something other than the main couple and it will be a doomed ship to boot), zombies, BL, etc. Unfortunately, this list is only ever growing because... I can't make myself start things (or finish things), I have to be in the right mood to binge something (which is hard to pinpoint sometimes) and there's also me simply having no real free time. However, I want to imagine that I will get to all of those shows eventually!

currently watching

Inspector Koo (I'm on episode ten and really trying to finish it!)

The Silent Sea (...paused)

re-watching

Strangers from Hell (on episode 7, my beloved)

Beyond Evil

Bad and Crazy

These shows live in my head rent-free and I'm always watching bits and pieces of them. Right now, I'm focused on SFH, because it's the show that's finally given me inspiration to write!

my utterly ridiculous to-watch list (under a cut)

My Liberation Notes (it looks so good! I want to watch it SO BADLY)

D.P.

The Guest (I know I'm gonna end up with a new OT3)

The Devil Judge

The Crowned Clown

Bloody Heart

Kinnporsche (again, top of my list)

Mad Dog

Happiness

Taxi Driver

My Country: the New Age

Flower of Evil

The Nokdu Flower

Vincenzo

Psychopath Diary

Prison Playbook (Park Hae Soo!)

18 Again

Link: Eat, Love, Kill (Yeo Jingoo!)

Stranger

The Guest

Save Me

Search

Mr. Back (Lee Joon and Shin Ha-kyun!)

Run On

Possessed (Ahn Eun-jin!)

Move to Heaven

Less than Evil (Shin Ha-kyun as Luther!)

Military Prosecutor Doberman (Ahn Bo-Hyun!)

Bulgasal (Lee Joon!)

Monstrous

Misaeng

Tomorrow

Mr. Sunshine

Extracurricular

Hyena

Mouse

Chimera

Watcher

Voice

Artificial City (Lee Hak-joo!)

The King of Pigs

Juvenile Justice

Forecasting Love and Weather

Semantic Error

Hospital Playlist (Ahn Eun-Jin!)

Business Proposal

Ghost Doctor

Tale of the Nine Tailed

Goblin

My Mister

Hotel Del Luna

The King's Affection

Tinted With You

Blueming

All of these are things that I want to watch really badly, but as to when I will get to it.. who knows 😬

[karumashadowchicken]

Yandere Tokoyami Fumikage x Reader pt.One

Yandere Tokoyami Fumikage 'Yandere Tokoyami and Dark Shadow'

Leaving your dorm, you closed the door behind you. Waiting for your friends arrival in the common area. Tokoyami peeks his head into the room, and you start walking to school together. Dark Shadow had wrapped himself around you. Tokoyami on you left, and Dark Shadowon your right. You pet Dark Shadow as you walked at talked with Tokoyami. He, as usual had been telling you about this band that he liked. He spoke very poeticly, and pretty edgily. Dark Shadow would purr like a cat every once ina  while-he seemed to enjoy the petting-maybe alittle too much. Arriving at class you Tokoyami and Dark Shadow entered class. You sat in your seat, infront of Tokoyami. Class started and you took notes, while doodling on the sides of the paper. Some howyou haden't noticed the two sets of eyes staring at you with an extreme passion. He focused his eyes on the tag of your t-shirt/top. He reads the brand to himself quietly. Your were wearing b/n brand. He wrote that down in a small note book. He was going to have to look into that brand later. He watched as you scribled on the paper. He recently realized that you often draw little sketches of his classmates, and sometimes Himself and Dark Shadow. He liked they way you drew him, even if you diden't think that they were as great as he did. class was always nice when Midnight was teaching, she was a little less strict as Aizawa and the others. In fact, Midnight let people talk. She actually shipped a few of your class mates! He had said at one point that she thought Todoroki and Izuku must be close. She also mention Jiro and Denki too. Dark Shadow always got energetic when Midnight made comments about the two of you. One time she saw you two hanging out-out of school-and said that you two would make a cute couple. It made Dark Shadows mind race, he loved thinking about you. And if he feels what Tokoyami does, but stronge, then Tokoyami must love you too. Dark Shadow was the first to realize they loved you. They continued to look at you, happily. Class had finally ended and it was lunch. He finally could spend one on one time with you. You waited for him at your desk, then you two walked to the lunch room together. He thought that it was cute when you would curiosly ask weird queastions. Dark Shadow loved that you wanted to know more about them. One time you had asked him if Dark Shadow could eat. The next day youhad brought the cupcakes! Tokoyami paused, "Dear y'n. Would you mind if we ate on the roof today?" he queastioned. You nodded your head an responded quickly. You carried your food to the roof top. Finding a place to sit you two sat down. After a few minutes Tokoyami sighed, " Dear y/n. Can I tell you something?" You paused, curiously, "Yeah, you can tell me anything." you said with a reasuring smile. Tokoyami lookedup at you, taking yor hands in his. " y/n. I- love you. You, are the light in my world of darkness." Dark Shadow showed himself, speaking quietly, "We have likedyou for a long time actually." he said nervously. Tokoyami and Dark Shadow talked for 5 minutes, finally ending their confestion. You looked suprized, "I-I don't know what to say." They winced, hoping that they weren't goingto be rejected. " I-I can't say weather I love you or not, but I can say that I really do like you." Tokoyami looked up hopful. Tokoyami smiled, still with a little bit doubt, " As more then just friends." You nodded your head and he grinned widely. He looked suprizingly exited, " Does that mean, that you would be okay with forming a realation ship status as more then friends?" he queastions. You nodd your head and say yes.Tokoyami holds your hands in his. you haden't really realized until now how much he was gripping your hands. He had let your hands go more as you had agreed. You two sat together side by side until the bell rang. Walking backto class together, you two actually held hands. Gym class ( physical ed ) was next, and Tokoyami was sure to tell his friend Shoji of your new relation ship. Tokoyami may have been wearing all black, but he looked like he was shinning for the rest of the day. He arrived home ( to his dorm ), and chose to write some poetry. He wrote about you and how much he loved you. He gotp after a hile, curious to what you were up to. It was getting late, and he knew you liked to go on walks of Fridays.

[philliamwrites]

killing me softly with his song | (Childe / Reader) [chpt.02]

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Pairing: Childe / Reader

Tags: #fem!reader, #from childhood friends to lovers, #reader is a fatui agent, #slow burn, #unresolved sexual tension, #mature language, #forbidden love

Words: 3.5k

Summary: "Lybuov zla, polyubish i kozla,“ sighs your sister as she wipes off the table, but that makes you feel even more miserable. Falling for a goat might save you from an actual heartbreak by Tartaglia’s hands.

Notes: Part 1

Masterlist

Chapter 2

At the barracks’ canteen reigns the unspoken rule that no one is allowed to cook borsch, and trying to do so is punished by cleaning all windows with cold water only in the middle of the night. Can’t see anything because the nights at the outskirts of Zapolyarny are blacker than out in the taiga? Tough luck. There are so many different recipes as there are families out there, and everyone has their very own way to make it. Fatui agents have brought each other to the hospital wing over fighting which recipe is the best, therefore a couple of years before Tartaglia and you enrolled, this rule was established.

Sitting out in the cold of Jaroslawk at four in the morning, you’d kill for a hot bowl of your mamochka’s borsch—the best in Morepesok even though Tartaglia begs to differ, but the only problem with his claim is that he is fucking wrong.

Through your binoculars you see everything is quiet and dark on the other side of the compound, which is a good sign. Unfortunately, good also means very boring. You’ve been lying in the exact same position for nearly three hours now: on your belly, elbows slightly propping your upper body to see the Baron’s estate that’s embraced by a forest like a mother cradling its child. Tales have it if you make even one little mistake inside those cold brick walls, Baron Igor would personally see to it that you don’t leave these woods alive and whatever his hellish guard dogs don’t finish eating up, his servants would send to your family as a small parting gift and warning to get as far and fast away as possible.

If only he were as thorough covering his tracks as he is scaring people, but Baron Igor has never really excelled at multiple things and now, months after the first little bird brought some interesting insight, you can’t wait for Baron Igor to finally slip and confirm the rumours about him selling information on one of Il Dottore’s gun research labs to a spy from Sumeru. Intel has it exchanges usually occur once every full moon and with the orb now hidden behind thick, black clouds, this is the last chance to get some evidence before the ship leaving to Sumeru carries whoever deserves a knife in their windpipe back to their God of Wisdom.

Baron Igor has messed up, got too arrogant, and now you and your team are here to make sure he eats up his mess. It wasn’t easy to infiltrate his mansion. Mitsuki only passed because you took out two of the other contesters for one of the Baron’s favourite restaurants down in Nowobirsk. That man bows to greed and when introduced to the place’s new maître d’hôtel—the best of his kind, the most exotic to own during their flimsy ceasefire with Inazuma—Baron Igor acted swiftly and hired him. Mitsuki had gagged at those words while lieutenant Scaramouche had shown the patience of a man barely holding himself back from violence. Two days later, Mitsuki took his position as spy and head waiter of the Baron’s personal restaurant taking up the whole second floor in the right wing of his stone mansion.

“Fuck me, I look like a penguin,” Mitsuki had said on the night before his work began at the estate, glaring at himself in the mirror dressed in a sharply tailored tuxedo.

“Then we know who to call if Baron Igor decides to open a zoo,” Mikhail had said, but he was in no hurry to turn away his appreciative gaze from how tight Mitsuki’s black pants tugged his slim legs and ass.

That’s the team, Mitsuki, you and Mikhail—Lock, Shock and Barrel, one of your fellow division’s comrade likes to call you for unknown reasons, simply laughing to himself and shaking his head as if trying to get rid of a good memory. Though for all that Scaramouche is concerned, to him you’re triple double and a clusterfuck he doesn’t want anywhere near him or so help him Her Majesty the Tsaritsa, he’ll stake your heads and scatter your remains to the seagulls terrorising the coast of Port Odessa.

“He loves us,” Mikhail likes to joke, even though you aren’t sure the words love and Scaramouche should be used in one sentence.

“One day, he’ll kill one of us with his bear hands and feel nothing,” Mitsuki commonly remarks, sounding like whatever you’d do to receive such a punishment is probably ghastly enough to justify being murdered.

“His hat is pretty neat,” is usually your only contribution and they both look at you as if you’re crazy.

“Any movement?” a voice asks from your right. Mikhail shakes still fresh snow from his head and shoulders as he dugs under the narrow doorway, looking like a puppy trying to shake itself dry. Now that a year has passed since a Geo Vision user crushed his right arm and healers had to amputate it to save his life, he’s adapted pretty well to only one arm and hand at his disposal. He’s balancing a cup in his palm while holding two paper bags with his fingers and somehow makes it look easy. He rejoins you at the window, carefully placing the steaming cup and one bag in front of you. You hand him your binoculars so he can see for himself, and inspect your breakfast. “Do I even want to know where you found,” you peak inside the bag, “pirozhky at a time like this?”

“Couple of blocks down there’s this place. Really nice lady, gave me one for free and added a little extra to our coffee.”

You take a sip, and instantly begin coughing and pounding your chest as it goes down burning. “Archons, that’s disgusting. Who in their right mind puts Fire-Water in their coffee?”

“I know, right?” Mikhail beams. “It’s genius.”

It’s ghastly. You take another sip. Horrible, really. But it keeps you warm and awake. So maybe it isn’t that bad at all.

While Mikhail observes the area, you dig into your beef and onion pirozhky. There’s nothing fun about pulling an all-nighter but sometimes sharing a cup of coffee and eating warm food helps to get through them. Also knowing someone suffers with you. Sharing pain is gain, after all.

“Well, they sure like taking their sweet time,” Mikhail mumbles, getting a little more comfortable on the cold stone ground. He puts the binoculars away and digs into his own food. “What are we gonna do if nothing happens today?”

“Then we’ll come back next month and do it all over again.” Hopefully you don’t have to. Fyrva’snezh was two weeks ago but this winter started off particularly brutal. Two out of three units are still missing from their outskirts training and you don’t want to be in the poor lasses’ and lads’ shoes who are still at the infirmary recovering from severe hypothermia. “What worries me more is that Mitsuki might lose his sanity if he stays there another whole month.”

“Well, what doesn’t kill him makes him stronger,” Mikhail says, wiping his greasy fingers off his pants. “I just want to wipe that smug smirk off the Baron’s pig face.”

He and probably every citizen populating Jaroslawk. “Once Mitsuki locates the communication point, we’ll go in and neutralise the target if we can’t catch him alive,” you say. “Baron Igor will try and weasel his way out of it but so far all evidence stands against him. The rest is up to Her Majesty.” And the Tsaritsa is known for many things, but mercy isn’t one of them. That will show anyone else trying to make business behind her back.

“Do you really think Mitsuki will endure another month in that stupidly tight uniform?” Mikhail sounds like he very much wished for another month out in the cold like this if it meant Mitsuki would bless him for a while longer wearing his uniform.

You stretch your leg and kick him in his shin. “Don’t jinx this, Nozhyalensky,” you say. “No matter how good his ass looks in those pants, it isn’t worth freezing your own ass off out in this cold. If we have to extend our mission, I’m going to steal your coat and own it for the whole time.”

“You don’t care if I freeze to death?”

“I really don’t.”

He puts his hand on his heart in mock despair. “That’s harsh.”

It would be his own fault, no hard feelings. You sit in silence, sharing your scalding hot coffee. In the mansion on the other side, a light flickers on in the east wing. Mikhail shifts and makes a disgusted grunt. “I did not want to know the Baron is banging the Duchess of Pavlovich.”

“Might be good leverage in the future.” You quickly dot it down in your notebook, squinting at the barely illuminated page. “Especially if the Duke refuses to pay his taxes again. I’m sure we can get to him through her.”

More minutes pass in silence. Mikhail continues his watch while you start to mindlessly doodle a little Foul Legacy Child in the corner of your page. You wonder what time it is in Liyue. Is Childe also out on a mission or tugged in and sleeping well in a land that knows nothing of harsh winds and freezing nights. Does he spare a thought of home? Is he missing you as much as you miss him or has he already filled the gnawing void with faceless, warm women that comfort him at night?

“Heard anything from our comrades in Liyue?” Mikhail asks nonchalantly, but he’s always been the poorest liar of you three and it’s pretty obvious where this conversation is going. Part of you hungers for that conflict.

“They still can’t find whoever killed the Geo Archon. But Lord Childe might have located the Gnosis and has begun his infiltration.”

Chances are good he might succeed in another month or so, though from the letters you’ve received so far, it sounds like he might succeed fucking the consultant of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor before that. Tartaglia has never started anything serious with guys before, safe from occasionally drunk making outs, but new cultures could change a lot in you and it’s Tartaglia’s first time staying for so long in Liyue and meeting a man like this so called Zhongli.

Mikhail clicks his tongue in disgust. “I can’t believe this guy is over there for three months already and is still nowhere near finishing the job.” He spits at the ground and twists his mouth in a very familiar manner of annoyance—only usually this expression is meant for initiate Fatui members who can’t tell a shotgun from a sniper rifle.

“How can you still be mad at him for handing you your ass three years ago,” you say. A man’s ego is such a frail thing, thank the Tsaritsa for being a strong, independent woman.

“This isn’t about that stupid fight,” Mikhail splutters, red blotches creeping up his neck. His inability to lie is abysmal. “I don’t get how you stand that guy. His arrogance needs its own giant room to fit inside. Someone needs to knock him down a peg or two and maybe beat out this need to whore around as well—”

You move in a flash. Mikhail doesn’t have any time to react before he finds himself on his back, pinned down by your weight with a knife to his throat. “Mikhail, I love you like my own kin and you know I’d take a bullet for you any time,” you growl. “But speak another filthy word about Childe and I will cut off your tongue and feed it to street dogs while watching you bleed out like a slaughtered pig. Are we clear?”

You feel Mikhail’s chest rising and falling under your spread hand, his body warm, proof of his life. How easy it would be to take it from him, to warm the cold, dirty ground with his blood.

Mikhail’s dark eyes don’t give away anything. He’s holding very still, like a cornered animal faced with its hunter; don’t move and maybe it thinks one is dead. Eventually, he says quietly, “If you could see what an unlikeable, unpleasant person he really is, maybe...” He doesn't finish. There is no need to. You know very well what point he’s trying to make.

“I don’t need your supervision,” you say. “Or your pity.”

Mikhail barks a loud, humourless laugh. “Lassie, if I had an ounce of pity left for anyone else than myself, I wouldn’t be very good at this job, would I?”

You shift your weight. Mikhail groans as you put pressure on a wound a Pyro Vision user inflicted on him a week ago that hasn’t fully healed yet—a favour for Mikhail to prevent him from following his train of thought. You don’t know what is worse: His unrequited love for Mitsuki or Tartaglia and you knowing what you both want but can’t have.

Mikhail quietly says your name and gently lowers your hand. The sharp knife has bit into his skin just enough to leave a fine, red line on his throat. “All I’m saying is, I am not the bad guy here.”

He is right, of course. But that makes it even worse, because without a bad guy, who could you put blame on? Who would be the target of your frustration and your scorn? Who would pay for countless sleepless nights wasted alone or in a stranger’s arms?

If there is no good, no bad side, no villains or heroes to put blame on, what does that leave for you? Just the law. It is hard, but it is the law.

There is no one but yourself who carries the burden. Even knowing Tartaglia goes through the same doesn’t soothe the pain steadily growing in your heart. You’re like two stars gravitating to each other, seeking the sweet collision to finally become one and create something bigger, the most exquisite light in the endless black galaxy, but whenever you manage to come close to each other, other forces pull you apart.

You shift your position from towering above him to slumping back on Mikhail’s lap, your anger deflated like a balloon.

“Arguing with you is no fun,” you mumble, sheathing the knife back in its place inside your boot.

Mikhail arches one dark brow. “Learnt from the best. You don’t want to get into an argument with my mama.”

“Are you two leaving me out from a team bonding session?” comes a static voice from your left.

“Darling, we would never leave you out from a potential threesome,” Mikhail says back, a wicked grin flirting with his mouth.

“Blergh,” you groan in disgust and roll off him, grabbing for the plastic piece from where Mitsuki’s voice has sounded; Il Dottore’s newest invention, a voice transmitter agents use for long distance communication.

“So, how’s it cooking, good looking?” Mikhail asks, ignoring your eyes rolling back. “Anything new at the front?”

Mitsuki is silent for a moment. Somewhere, a dog barks. “I think someone might have tipped the Baron off.”

Immediately, you feel Mikhail's body tense next to you. “Do you need us to come in?”

Oppressive silence fills the room. Mikhail jerks, but before he can jump to rash actions, you grab his arm hard enough to bruise. He freezes, and you both stare at the voice transmitter in Mikhail’s hand.

A moment later, static crackles, and Mitsuki says, “I received a note on the caviar shipment. Roads are all clear, it should come in around seven in the morning.”

Mikhail relaxes, but a sweat bead rolls from his temple and disappears behind his black turtle neck sweater. He sags against you, exhaling very loudly.

A couple of years ago, after you three had been working together and hadn’t tried to kill each other as often as other teams, you guys had decided to come up with your own secret language for times like these. Mikhail had first complained about the hours put into learning it the most—the semantics always changing depending on what line of work you’d infiltrate—but eventually even he had agreed it was a pretty neat trick. What Mitsuki has said simply means all is in order and the mission is proceeding smoothly.

“Little fucker,” Mikhail grumbles, ruffling his own hair just to keep his hand busy. You agree. It feels like you’ve aged five years in those last five minutes.

That relief is short lived. A small explosion from the right wing inside the mansion lights up the night like a firework show. Mikhail is out of the window in a flash. You grab your rifle, keeping an eye on him as he crosses the street in a flash and climbs over the iron gate.

Two shadows tumble through the hole in the second floor. You sway your scope, laying eyes on Mitsuki as he wrestles with a cloaked figure. Purple sparks fly, clashing with crimson flames that rise skyward and turn into black smoke. At least something is according to plan even though your Cryo Vision would be more effective.

You watch them fight for a moment, unable to get a clear shot as both are short distance fighters. Mitsuki moves quicker than a flash, whirling two hatches over his head, parrying a deathly bow from the Sumeru’s Claymore. Mitsuki is smaller than most of his comrades. People like to underestimate him, but that’s part of the fun, according to him. Proving people wrong. He dodges another swift strike, rolling out of the way and giving you a clear sight at your target. But over his shoulder, Mitsuki catches your eyes and gives the tiniest shake of his head. Not yet.

You wish he could see the stingy eye you’re giving him right now. You’ve waited long enough out in this cold and your whole body shakes with the need to move, the need to fight. A quick look to Mikhail shows he’s fending off two of the Baron’s guards himself. Luckily, they can’t really hold their stand against a fully trained Fatui agent. He quickly takes out his opponents, closing in on Mitsuki and the Sumeru agent. Mitsuki has driven him to the edge of the forest. So that’s his plan. You wait until the spy is right beneath a long, thick branch, then pull the trigger. The shot is muffled by the silencer, slicing through the air with infused Cryo power. It hits its target, cutting the branch off. The Sumeru spy is too slow. When the branch buries him under its weight, Mikhail finally catches up to Mitsuki, and through your scope you can see him patting Mitsuki down for injuries. Mitsuki pushes him away, not hard or in a mean way, just enough to signal this isn’t the time. The job isn’t done yet.

Mitsuki advances the spy and kneels, looking for signs of life. He looks up, his dark eyes searching your scope. He holds your gaze, picking up his voice transmitter.

“I have good and bad news,” he says. “The spy is still alive, so we’ll get our answers. But now I’m pretty sure the Baron knows what’s going on.”

“Then don’t just stand there, someone go after him, quick!” you yell in your transmitter.

Before Mikhail dashes off, you hear him curse. “Lord Scaramouche is going to kill us.”

He will, considered this was supposed to undergo without the Baron noticing anything.

* * *

Dear little tygress,

forgive my horrible handwriting. I am still shaking from all the laughter your last letter gave me. Zhongli-xiansheng was actually worried for my wellbeing because I had choked on air and almost died. I swear, you will kill me one day, little tygress.

Speaking of little and potential lethal beasts, I’m surprised Scaramouche didn’t use your head as a toilet plunger. I really do think he's fond of you, little tygress. Any other team would be six feet under by now. You have to tell me your secret once I’m back. Scaramouche still doesn’t know I broke his favourite, ugly cup with the bear on the front from Fontaine, and I want to be prepared once he knows.

Everything is the same in Liyue, and at the same time, everything is changing. Rex Lapis’ murder is still unsolved, and I do enjoy watching the little traveller boy run around looking for answers. Once I return with the Geo Archon’s gnosis, dinner will be on me.

How are things at home? I hope Tonia hasn’t finished all mooncakes by herself again and saved some for the rest of the bunch. I can’t bear to hear Anthon cry again about me only sending sweets to Tonia and Teucer. Has the old man gotten in touch with you? He still doesn’t reply to me, but mama says he’s reading the letters. Maybe a bottle of Liyue’s Baijiu will loose his tongue, or hand for that matter. It’s almost as good as Fire-Water, promise.

Till next time and don’t get too much on little ‘Mouche’s nerves, otherwise there will be no room left for me.

Yours, Red Fox

__________________________________________________

please drop by my ko-fi if you enjoyed my writing!

[rivenchu]

A Curious Fish

AN: Credit for this AU goes to @mintyfrosty​ ~ 

Read the Copperight Merfolk AU post and this whole fic popped into my head as is. I may have changed a couple things to make fic-flow sense, but I hope you like it Minty! Thanks for letting me write it~  Lemme know if something is too far from your AU and not okay. :3  I’ll wider tag this / AO3 if source approved!

Summary: They say curiosity is bad for a cat and it’s true for Merfolk too.  Reginald was just curious about flotsam he saw during a storm. It was only natural to get a closer look. He didn’t mean to get stuck and he certainly didn’t mean to end up on dry land where none of his kind were allowed to go. 

A curious fish.

That's what everyone always called him. The elders always warned him to not be too curious, to not wander close to dry land, and more importantly never get near the the floating crafts that skimmed over the ocean. Remaining unseen from 'dry landers' was the safest choice for their colony.

He'd listened and never done any of those things, but.

But.

They never said anything about parts of the sailing ships.

Reginald watched the long stick and strange white flaps with it's many tentacles. The storm had ripped it off the adrift vessel and he followed it. It was alone, none of the beings on it (he never could see them well, they were a mystery) were nearby... long as he watched out for the tentacles he'd be fine.

Making up his mind he swam up to the far side and broke the surface. The rain didn't bother him, though he always wondered why it tasted different than regular water.

Reaching out he marveled at the texture. Slippery with strange bumps, but not slimy at all. Drifting closer he blinked at a hole and poked at it, had it been carved in? There were more leading up. Wandering further Reginald craned his neck to see how far they went. He couldn't see the end of the giant stick, but he almost could.

Just a little further.

Something curled around his tail.

Fear coiled like an eel as he ducked back underwater. He'd strayed too far up.

Just one tentacle, he could handle that. Everything would be fine.

Diving  deeper so the stick wouldn't hit him (storms made the ocean surface move so much), he unwound the coarse limb and sighed. That had been close. He should go.

Turning to look up at the strange object one last time, he could barely see it against the surface. He had wanted to look at it more, maybe if he had climbed on it he could have spent longer.

Something brushed his shoulder. Jerking back Reginald's eyes widened.  It was the connected multi-tentacle net. He hadn't gone that far had he? Was it the storm pushing it faster than he thought?

Twisting around he began to swim fast as possible back to the safety of the depths.

For a moment Reginald thought he made it.

He screamed as agony shot up his tail, swimming stalled. He floated dazed for a few seconds before the adrenaline kicked back in.

Wincing he glanced up at his tail, tangled again. Reaching over to yank at it he wished he didn't leave his cutter tool at home. This one was tighter, it wanted to hold. Sticking out his tongue to loosen the cord and ignore the pain he tried to work fast.

It wasn't fast enough.

He froze when he felt his back brush up against something. Looking up he realized he was drifting towards more tentacles. His tail seized up and refused to move with anything less than blinding agony.

Reginald was many things, witty and clever, curious and mischievous, but he was not known for his bravery.

Terror dulled the pain as he thrashed against the cursed coils drawing him in. He knew they weren't alive, but he could still die to them.

No one came when he called for help as the storm blew him further away from home.

Dread settled in as he grew tired. There was no way he could escape now. He was entanged and his tail hurt worse than before. He was drifting to the dry lands. Memories of the horror stories the elders told drifted across his mind.

They'll take you from the ocean to never return. They'll keep you in a water bubble to stare at you. They will never listen to you, we're just fish to them. They ate all kinds of fish up on the dry lands.

Reginald shivered and closed his eyes. He shouldn't have wandered.

~*~*~*~ That was a storm to remember. Lots of trees were down, roads were a mess, and he'd have a few days of solitude. There was much more in damages, but he didn't care enough to look into it unless he was getting paid.

Right didn't mind he liked being alone. It's why he lived out of the city and did whatever odds and ends he could to keep food on the table.

Like combing the beach for anything interesting washing up after a storm. He'd find some nice lost cargo to sell a few times and made a habit of checking.

He walked around a boulder and raised his eyebrows at a partially beached broken mast. Bad news for whatever ship it was formerly attached too. There were no boxes nearby, but he could get some use out of it surely.

Walking over he rested one foot on the mast so he could rest his elbow on his knee as he surveyed the debris. Sails seemed intact, he could sell those. Wood and rope he could keep for himself, the rope ladder could be repurposed into a net.

Not a bad find.

Nodding to himself he set to work wading into the surf at cutting a sail free. Yanking it it up to dry land he folded it up and put it in his sack. Halfway done he walked the the next and cut the top connection off.

...was that hair?

Oh, he sometimes found dead bodies too. Or bits of them. He buried any... partials and brought intact ones to the city. If it helped someone find peace, it was worth it even if he didn't get paid.

Grimacing he knelt down and lifted the sail higher.

A wave washed up to his shins and Right sighed. No reaction to the wave, no cough or sputter to show they were alive. As the water pulled back he reached down and rested a hand against the corpse's forehead. Wasn't warm, definitely dead.

New plan, use sail as temporary corpse barrier.

Cutting the last sail connection and some additional rigging he hefted the body in front of him and walked back to the beach. He was going to stop by his house first for a bite to eat. Hopefully the mast would still be around when he got back, but the less bodies were left around the better for everyone's sense of smell.

Strange he wasn't getting a whiff of decay, must have been recent.

Trekking through the woods he was familiar with he tilted his head. There was strange sound following him. If he didn't know better he would say it was someone struggling to breathe. Wildlife wouldn't get close enough to him to make that noise, there were no injured animals nearby and he was keeping company with a dead person.

It moved.

Right paused. He'd been sure the poor soul was dead but dead things don't usually move.

Swearing he broke into a jog glad he lived nearby. There was a first aid kit he could use if there was  a chance of saving a survivor.

Throwing open the door he lowered the person to the floor and threw the sail off.

...

...what?

...

It had brown hair, frills on it's arms, moving gashes on it's neck, and a full blown fish tail from the waist down. The bright purple caught his attention as he stared down the length ending in the wash of warm colors fins.

It'd gotten caught in the ropes, some digging in painfully from the missing scales and red skin. No wonder it had been fine in the surf, any higher and it would have been dead already.

Movement caught his eye as it reached up to it's throat fluttered it's brown eyes.

Fish, water. Fish die out of water. Oh he made a mistake. Oh he didn't want to kill it. Oh no he wasn't near any ponds or rivers.

Scooping up the not-corpse he kicked open his bathroom and dumped it into his bathtub. In preparation of the storm he had filled it just as a precaution.

Stepping back to lean against the doorway he ran a hand up the side of his face and knocked his hat off. He'd heard stories of merpeople, never believed them of course. It seemed silly that fish people would exist but there was one right in his bathtub.

~*~*~*~

Gulping down water Reginald wanted nothing more than the curl up. His tail hurt so much, why did it feel like it was out of water? And the... water tasted funny, like rain does? He surrounded by white?

Pushing himself up with his one free elbow he looked up. The water wasn't deep, he didn't have much room to either side of him. He still had the coils trapping him. Slowly he turned over and pulled his tail into the different tasting water.

This wasn't the ocean, but maybe it was close by?

Reaching up the smooth wall he felt air and curled his hand around the edge and pulled himself up to look around.

It was mostly brown, bit of red on a normal looking face, but it was just there on dry land. It was on dry land. It was a dry lander. Pushing back as far he could in the tub Reginald screamed.

Dry lander made a noise and fell out of the room.

Reginald screamed again.

He was tired, hungry, in pain, and trapped. No matter what angle you looked at it from, this was bad. He was never going to get away now. Looking around the room he swallowed, was this where they kept fish for awhile?

Actually... he didn't want to look right now.

Sinking back into the water he curled in the corner and trembled. He... wasn't going to get out of this was he?

~*~*~*~

Clutching his chest, Right wheezed. That was far louder than he expected, not that he had an idea of what to expect from a mythical creature in his bathroom. He jerked away from the bathroom door at the second screech.

Well, he wasn't going to town now. Not sure what to do.

Guess he could fold up the sail, that was something he could do while his brain was reeling from his new discovery.

Merpeople existed. Science types would love to study it, nobles would want to showcase it, and who knows what criminals would do to it.

Right sat down on the floor staring at the folded sail.

It didn't seem right. There had been fear on it's face, and if he thought about it that was fair. Waking up in a strange place with someone staring at you would spook anyone. Plus it was still tangled up.

That he could help with.

Grabbing a knife he stared at it, on the other hand he'll look pretty scary. Nothing new there, people found him intimidating even if he was minding his own business.

Intentions would get across when it realized it wasn't getting stabbed. Better be quick.

Stalking into the room he winced at expected scream but didn't stop. "Not gonna hurt ya."

It didn't believe him, eyes widening more as it turned to flee out the tub. What it hoped to accomplish beyond that was questionable considering the lack of water.

"No you don't." Reaching over he caught a rope and pulled it back over the tub. He took a deep breath as he heard distressed whimpers. It couldn't reach him with it's free arm.

He felt guilty for trying to help now. Maybe he should have waited, but he was committed now.

" 'm just gonna cut the ropes." he sighed and started to saw carefully. He didn't want to injure it if it made any sudden movements. Instead it hung there defeated, which he decided was worse. When the rope snapped it fell back into the tub and he stepped back just in case it attacked. Cornered beings tended to be unpredictable and fierce.

Instead the brown eyes broke surface and stared at him. Scanning.

Yeah, bit smarter than an animal, they would have gone back to panic. This was questioning and uncertain.

" 'm gonna cut some in front. Yah should be able t' get most of it off unless it's on there good." Right stood there and watched for a reaction. Maybe it didn't speak, that would make sense. Different culture and.. talking mediums? How would someone talk underwater?

Walking back up to the tub Right paused to see if it would try to flop out in fear again.

It was just warily watching.

Reaching down slowly Right watched for any sudden movement - he didn't want to get bit or hit with that tail.

Grabbing a knot he lifted it out of the water so he could better look at the mess. It was actually impressive how it managed to tie itself.  A cool grip on his hand caused him to look up as it lightly held his wrist and it bit it's lip. Understandably nervous, but he had ropes to cut.

This time when he cut through and it dropped back into the water he walked to the far side of the room to put the knife down. Space while it worked itself free.

Water sloshed over the edge in the next five minutes as it worked to freedom. Finally a mass of ropes was thrown over the edge, with a single line running back to the tub.

Before he could say anything  the vibrant tail shakily waved out of the water, the last rope tangled near the base of fins. Grimacing Right walked forward to look at it. That would leave a scar, maybe the back fin would heal.

Fetching his knife he reached out almost touching the tail before looking down. It was watching him again. Taking this as an affirmative he lightly grasped the tail and started making small cuts. The rope was wound tight and the wound already painful, he didn’t want to make it worse.

After a few minutes the rope fell away and he let go of the tail. It sunk out of sight and the merperson stayed submerged. Fair, poor thing had a rough time of it lately.

Gathering the rope he walked out and left the knife in his sink. Sitting down he ate an apple as he pondered his new situation. He had an injured merperson in his house. He had helped it after almost killing it by dragging it away from water.

Merpeople were real and he had one in his bathtub still.

~*~*~*~

Laying at the bottom of the white shell Reginald rubbed his right arm. He was glad to be free of the deadly coils, but his tail was still painful. He was still stuck, but the dry lander hadn't hurt him. It could have done so easily.

He was still alive. Plus he felt pain down to his fins, so it wasn't as bad as one of the elders who couldn't move their tail anymore nor feel it. It would heal in time.

Wrapping fingers around the edge of container he pulled himself up and looked around. There were so many things he knew nothing about. What were they used for? Did all dry landers live in places like this?

Crossing his arms on the edge Reginald rested his head as he let his mind wander with questions.

The dry lander stopped at the door and was staring at him. There was something he was dragging behind him.

Pulling his arms back into the water he blinked up at the other. The brown layers were strange and moved funny, like a covering? Why would they need a covering?

"Not sure if you'll like smoked fish, but thought yo might be 'ungry." Walking in the dry lander held out a fish within easy grabbing distance.

He was starving. Taking the fish he sighed, he... was being rude. The other had done nothing but help him and deserved a proper response.

"Thank you." He missed the stunned expression on the dry lander's face as he tore into the funny smelling fish. The flavour was concentrated, with something he had never tasted before!

"Y-you're welcome." Taking a seat the dry lander still looked dazed at the new discovery. Merpeople could talk.

"Uh... want another?" A second fish was offered.

"Please." Accepting the fish it disappeared as quickly as the first.

"My name is Right." He held out a hand to his formerly-mythic-but-totally-real guest

Glancing down at the extended hand then back up Reginald held out his hand with a tentative smile, "Reginald, it's nice to meet you Right."

Of course a merperson wouldn't know about shaking hands. A smile crept up on Right's face, "It's good to meet you too Reginald."

[kirby-the-gorb]

reply roundup!

highlights from the past couple weeks:

a commission for a friend of their oc gorbified [here]

the valentine’s stickers separated out into individual valentines [here]

another patreon drawing for this month of lukeperiodsun and their partner gorbified [here]

new throw pillow design posted on [society6] (as well as relisting the blanket design from november)

finally added a tag for kirby’s bear [kirbear], and a general tag for [plushies]

more [lolita kirb] because it’s my blog and I choose the aesthetic :v

there is also a new image description [here] by @crowsami​ on the kirby running through a field. thank you very much! (and I hope your assignment went okay :> )

and sticker club design and signups should be posted on monday march 1st :> $5 patreon tier for a 4-sticker sheet, charged on april 1st and shipped hopefully promptly after. (I have a theme picked out already :3 and yes, if you want to combine two tiers we can make that happen.)

I guess it’s been a busy couple weeks, huh!

on [pillow]:

@redphienix said: A Perfect Spherical Friend

extremely round! extremely good!

@mysterygreentea said: he is friend shaped and full of love

dang it that’s what I forgot in the anatomy gif! he is full of love. -u-

on [ocean]:

@the-halo-of-my-memory said: look how happy he is, this is so cute, precious baby. your art always brings a smile to my face

he’s just having a good time! and I’m glad it makes you smile :>

@mangomybeloved said: A BABY!!!!!!!! SWIMMING!!!!!!!!! ty ray for sending me this!! ilysm!

this is so cute, someone sending my art to someone else out of affection :’> (I’m sure it happens more often than I get to see! but it makes me happy to get to see it!)

on [sewing]:

@gigilefache said: he stitch, adorable

he is being careful with his nubbins.

@bubblesthesanddragon said: mood :)

sometimes you just gotta “:)”

on [garden]:

@angst-and-fajitas said: Kirby loves tomatoes, right? Maybe he's got some of those!

ooh, I bet you’re right!

(this reminds me that in high school I dated someone who would just eat tomatoes like apples, and they went to a different school. so sometimes their school ended before mine, and they’d just. come stand in my classroom and eat a tomato in the corner. they were very odd, but it’s hard to be normal and date me XD )

on [bear]:

@creative-impacts said: Kirby looks so proud of their toy and honestly- same :) ADORABLE WORK ON THIS! YOU GAVE KIRBY SO MUCH EXPRESSION IN A SMALL PRIDEFUL SMILE!

aww, thank you! there’s only so many poses a kirby can make so small changes in expression make a big difference :> (also your blog seems wonderfully positive, I hope you’re enjoying running it!)

on [smash]:

@edgybocfan said: Wait why did I come in this room... musta been important I smashed a hole in the wall. Huh, oh well *leaves through the hole in the wall*

this made me laugh, thank you! we’ve all been there before lol

@shin-holly said: COLOURS WEAVE INTO A SPIRE OF FLAME—

(I had to look up the reference, it’s the lyrics from the World of Light song from smash bros -u- ) oh no! not here! lol

on [kirblita]:

@the-halo-of-my-memory said: so cute. i should buy a dress i dont have any. i should look into that, either something super cute or witchy

I did not like dresses At All when I was spending a lot of time walking, but now that I use my wheelchair suddenly they’re much more practical lol. and I bet you can find something that is both cute *and* witchy if that’s what you really want :>

on [run]:

@aggron-rocks said: there he go!!

@fiendir said: Look at him go!!

@dragonofcupcake said: wooo run little man

I like the way all three of these comments look grouped together -u- like kirby is running a race and everyone is cheering!

@askluckyandfriends said: Cool! I always like to look at your art :D

thank you! (I like looking at my art too, so it’s nice I’m not the only one XD )

on [anatomy]:

@hypertomboi said: ty for the anatomy lesson op

vital knowledge for raising a happy healthy kirb.

@grand-star said: Oh boy it's true

only true facts here!

@epsilonnot said: v v good. i was picturing like an xray with just a single cartoon bone in the stomach but this is much more delightful

you know what, that would be at least equally hilarious tbh.

@askluckyandfriends said: Best thing ever

the scientists tried to warn us but he was just too cute! (thank you!)

from the ask box:

@askluckyandfriends said: Hi! ...Oh come on I don't remember what I wanted to say anymore agh. Anyways, have a wonderful day! Your drawings are all super good!

oh no lol that happens to me too. I hope you have a wonderful day too, and thank you!

anonymous said: Your kirbies make my day

aww, thank you! it makes me happy to know a silly little project I started for myself makes others happy too.

[angsty-nerd]

I was tagged by @theredandwhitequeen who clearly knows that I looooove doing these things 💚💛

Put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs that come up. And then tag 10 people.

I’m sorta cheating because I’ve been shuffling for a few hours already, but I figured, eh, let’s just list the next 10 songs from this point forward!

1. Missed the Boat - Modest Mouse

Oh, and we’ll laugh all the way to hell...

2. Strawberry Swing - Coldplay

Now the sky could be blue, I don’t mind

Without you it’s a waste of time

3. Losing my Religion - Dan Mangan

(Super slowed down angsty cover version...which is one of my head canon Echo breakup songs.)

Oh no I’ve said too much, I haven’t said enough

I thought that I heard you laughing, I thought that I heard you sing

I think, I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream...

4. Galileo - Indigo Girls

Some things never change. And one of those things is my love for the Indigo Girls.

If we wait for the time ‘til all souls get it right

Then at least I know there’ll be no nuclear annihilation in my lifetime

I’m still not right

5. We Looked Like Giants - Death Cab for Cutie

We looked like giants in the back of my grey subcompact

Fumbling to make contact, as the other slept inside...

6. I Wish I was Sober - Frightened Rabbit

My love you should know, the best of me left hours ago...

7. Another You - Elle King

Maybe you ain’t heard the news

Now I’ve got another you

Only took about a week or two

It wasn’t hard to fill your shoes...

8. All the Way (Stay) - Jimmy Eat World

We get discouraged by the pointlessness

And we’re pretty quick to judge things pointless

There’s what I want and what I need

And the latter takes a while to see...

9. Down in the Valley - the Head and the Heart

I know there’s California, Oklahoma

And all the places I ain’t ever been to but

Down in the valley with whiskey rivers

These are the places you will find me hiding

10. Sleeping Lessons - the Shins

And glow, glow, melt and flow

Eviscerate your fragile frame

And spill it out on the ragged floor

A thousand different versions of yourself

[thewritingstar]

Brickercup: End of the world and I’m stuck with a jackass like you.

First time writing for them lol. But why are they the xmas ship? Green and red? haha. Just some family fluff and some butchubbles too because i can. 

Hope you enjoy!!

Tag list: @shellielyzabeth @over-under-through1 (if you wanna be added to the list just go to my tag list post :) ) 

Rated: T 

----

She always thought her death would be a remarkable one. It would be seen on tvs across the world as she took her last breath defending the city she loved. They would build statues in her honor and have awards in her name. It would be bloody, cruel and down right horrific. But it would be in the name sake of her duty. 

She could see it now. The swell of the beast, too powerful even for her. Its fist would come crashing down and as she flew to blow it to shreds with her sisters by her side, it would fall and die with a creaky scream as her body floated to the pavement and she smiled knowing she saved the world one last time. 

A worthy death for one of the greatest heroes in the world. 

Instead she was trapped in a deflating bounce house that had too much money on the security deposit to damage it. 

The plastic shrunk slowly. An annoying sound buzzing from it as the walls collapsed fast. You would think that two powerful beings could manage to get out of it, but at last, they were ambushed. 

 The stickiness made her uncomfortable as it caved around her body and of course it didn’t help that her husband's leg was thrown over her stomach. 

“Could you move your leg before I blast it to pieces?” She shouted over the sound of high pitched deflating. 

She could hear him grumble. “If I could I would woman!” 

-

This was all his fault. If he learned how to say no to his darling little five year old, they wouldn't be trapped in the sweltering heat trying to free themselves from this hell hole prison. But no. Little Blair had to get her way. 

“Momma please! Please can I have a pretty pony bouncy castle!” She was floating and batting her eyelashes but Buttercup knew better. 

It was going to be way too hot for an outside birthday but after she flew straight to daddys office and smiled, she was being carried in the arms of her husband and he had already rented the finest bouncy castle around. Not even Princess’s son would have it. 

Plus they had a pool so they could just toss the kids who complained about the heat into it. 

-

“Learn how to say no Jojo.” She said to him as she twisted her arm to lift up the plastic off her face. The giant eye of a blue pony stared at her through the netting making her shiver. 

His face was flush to the ground by now and he pushed himself up, accidentally kicking his wife's shin in the process. “You could have said something! Fuck! Wake her up from her nap and get her ass out here to plug it in.”

“Oh yeah, why don’t you just sonic scream at her and make her cry?” They knew better than to wake up a sleeping Blair. Oh no the temper of a red and green mixed together was more than anyone could handle. 

Buttercup was thankful in this moment that they only had one kid. That’s all they needed right now. 

Brick fell silent at this. “Great now we are stuck.” he mumbled as all the air went out. 

“End of the world and I’m stuck with a jackass like you.” She said as she slapped his ass. 

“Hey paws off the merchandise.” 

“You weren’t saying that a second ago.” She said smugly.  

He turned his head to glare at her. “That was before this dumb thing decided to eat us alive.” He frowned. “Ruined the fucking mood.” He mumbled the last part. 

“Quit being a baby and crawl Brick. I think I’m gonna pass out and you’re closer to the door.” She tried to fan herself. This is the karma she got for making out with her husband in this thing. To be fair, she was making sure it blew up properly and he tackled her, don’t get it twisted. 

“We have powers and yet I am being humiliated by some god damn toy!” She could see the red spark igniting in from his fist.

Buttercup moved again, arm scraping across the bright pink flooring. “You’re the one who got this and unless you wanna tell our daughter why her pony castle is blasted to shreds, you are going to get us out of here or so help me.” 

He mumbled something she couldn't make out and finally his leg was off of her. Thank goodness. He managed to crawl towards the door using one of his arms to hold up the plastic and the other to guide him to freedom. She followed after him making sure he didn’t stop and accidentally slam his ass into her face. 

He reached the door first, eye widening as he stared at the entrance to this horror show. 

“Uh babe?” 

“What?” She still needed to finish cutting the fruit and getting the tables set up. 

“Did you lock us in here?” 

She finally managed to crawl to the door next to him. “Why the fuck would I-.” Her eyes narrowing on the door. “Brick?”

“Yeah.” He raised his brows.

“The zipper.” 

“I know.”

“It’s on the outside.”

“I can see that.” 

“Then why would you ask if I zipped it?” Her voice was full of confusion. 

They looked at each other then back to the door. “If you didn’t zip it.” 

“And you didn’t either.” Buttercup’s eyes widened. 

“Then who?” Their voices were in unison. 

Then they heard it. That sweet innocent giggle. All of a sudden the face of their five year old birthday girl was pressed against the door. Her smile was blinding and those dazzling red eyes sparkled with mischief. 

“We got you mamma and daddy.” She smiled proudly. 

“Blair, honey. Did you unplug the blow up?” Buttercup asked sweetly and she nodded her head, whipping her black hair that was pulling into ponytails. 

“We thought you were napping.” Brick said. His face became scrunched with confusion. “Wait what do you mean we?”

In a flash their daughter was picked up by a pair of arms as she sprouted another laugh. 

“She means me duh.” The voice came and Buttercup tilted her head up to see a wicked grin and a pair of deep emerald eyes. The same devious smirk was plastered on his face. 

Buttercup gritted her teeth. “Butch you have five seconds to let us out or I swear-” 

“Ohh I’m so scared. Look Ruby, mom's mad.” He snickered to the little girl who was trying to hide her own laugh.

“Shes mad at you Uncle Butch, this was your idea.” Blair giggled. 

“Hey don’t rat me out. Tell them it was the wind.” 

Brick glared at him. “Don’t teach my kid how to lie.” 

“You’re right bro, she’ll learn it from the king himself.” He winked. 

Buttercup matched her husband's expression. “Blair, be a good girl and let us out or no cake.” 

Those bright red eyes held fear as the threat of no cake came. She grabbed her uncle’s face, tears brimming her water line. “No cake!” She gasped and flew out of Butch’s arms to the door, pulling desperately on the zipper. “I want my cake!” Blair practically growled and soon her parents were free. 

Buttercup scooped up her little girl and brought her towards the house, meanwhile Brick was just fuming at his younger brother. 

“What the hell man?” 

“That's what you deserve for being nasty.” Butch glared at Brick. 

Brick rolled his eyes and pushed past him to plug it back in. The huge ponies came to life as they began to fill with air. 

“Oh please like you wouldn’t do that same thing.” 

Butch fake scoffed. “I wouldn’t. My wife would be nake-”

“SHUT UP!” 

--

“I’m sorry momma.” Blair smiled softly. “But Uncle Butch made me.” She defended. 

Buttercup only laughed and kissed her head. “I know sweetheart. Now your dad is gonna set your castle up and i'm going to finish up in the kitchen.”

“What should I do?” Blair asked. 

Buttercup looked over at Brick and Butch before grinning. 

---

“I can’t believe you were stuck.” Bubbles laughed as she placed the last of the snacks on the table. 

Buttercup only rolled her eyes before popping a strawberry in her mouth. “Well it’s all your husband’s fault.” 

Another giggle came from the blonde. “Oh I'm sure you’ll find a way to get him back.” She waved her hand before handing a berry to her one year old, Beck.

“Oh I did.” Buttercup laughed and Bubbles shrugged. 

“HEY RUBY PUT ME DOWN!” A shout came from outside and the girls looked to see Butch being held up by his niece. 

She gave a laugh before throwing him down into the pool. A giant splash coming from the water as she turned and skipped towards her dad acting like she had done nothing. 

“See, got him back.” Bubbles said as she watched her husband claw his way out of the pool with a scowl. 

“Serves him right, I almost died.” 

Bubbles picked up her baby carrying him over to the window to see Butch chasing Blair and Brick on the ground laughing. “Well Butch caught you two so he probably wanted to mess with you.” 

“It’s not like we were doing anything! Besides, you two would do way worse, you nasties.” Buttercup made a fake throwing up sound as she watched Blair throw Butch back into the pool. “I should have her throw you in too.” 

Bubbles slapped her arm playfully. “You wouldn’t have your daughter throw a pregnant woman.” She gestured to her baby bump. 

“Like I said, nasty. Butch couldn’t wait five minutes before knocking you up again, geez.” 

Bubbles smirked and opened up the sliding glass door. “Blair darling come through your mother in the pool she’s being mean.” 

“Throw your dad in.” Buttercup yelled as she brought out the cake. “Im busy.” 

They heard another yell and another splash. “And there goes Brick.” Bubbles laughed. 

“That's my girl.”

-------

hope you liked it

[malewifehenrycooldown]

🍇 + 🍒for sakura!

🍒s - What are some headcanons you have about your f/o?

I do have some headcanons, and some of them do kinda intertwine with my own canon cause Kishi did Sakura dirty.

Sakura has Mokuton.

No questions asked. She literally has access to Suiton and Doton - WHICH CREATES WOOD RELEASE - I’m sorry WE WERE ROBBED OKAY?!

She's a bit of a bookworm

If there's one aspect that I really like about Sakura, is that she is pretty darn intelligent. I think it's only natural to suggest that she's an avid book reader. Plus I just like the idea of Sakura having a lot of knowledge at her fingertips a head of time.

An early bird and a night owl

Sakura is definitely the kind of shinobi who would wake up in the really early hours of the morning; you know morning exercises and training routine. Not to mention she's a doctor, and doctors have to be be at work on the dot so uh.. that means that uh maybe she gets home a little late at night (and I don't blame her).

a good cook but eats heated meals more often

Look you get really busy as a doctor so uh there isn't a lot of time to cook things when you're at work.

🍇 - How did you get introduced to your f/o?

I gotta be honest, it was actually Fanfiction. I used to be a multisaku shipper, and I will admit there are some multisaku ships that still I do like (karinsaku is a big fave). I still read Naruto Fanfiction because A) fans write Sakura SO MUCH BETTER and B) people have some interesting ideas and concepts that I really like and- C) I love the BAMF Sakura tag on A03 (especially when she’s on equal footing with Team 7).

I think I was in a bit of denial when it came to my love of Sakura; remember people still hate her as a character and that’s because of well the writer was a man and she was a poem he couldn’t read. Also I think that fight with Shin Uchiha may have ignited a small spark that made me go ‘oh crap she’s beautiful AND badass’. 

I mean it is a little unorthodox to find out about the source material through reading fanfiction than the actual material, I don’t regret it either.

[Ask Game]

[orange-cheetah]

tagged by: @justthinkofmeastalkingair, thank you!!! <333

Top 3 ships: How sexy of you to ask! shizaya (drrr), shin soukoku (bsd), bakutodo/todobaku (bnha)... Yes, I eat enemies to lovers for sustenance... Honourable mention goes to tazakami (joker game) since I’ve been drawing them nonstop for months now; who cares if they barely have any canon interactions they are hot and therefore look good together

Currently reading: The Fellowship of the Ring by JRR Tolkien and 特殊传说#2 by 护玄

Food I’m craving: Haven’t been anywhere other than my house and workplace for months... Can’t afford to crave anything... Maybe ice-cream... DESSERTS YES DESSERTS

tagging: @ai80, @tenmilesofquartz, @foonoodlesart (can’t tag your other acc for some reason ;-;) if y’all want to!

[kaz3313]

Crowley is a totally very bad demon who does very demonish things. Like take care of a bunch of orphans

Inspired by one of @rainydaydecaf s text post! I wrote this in a day

Also thank you @thetimtimjr for tagging me in the post that inspired this!

( I have only seen to episode 3 so no spoilers in the tags or replies please! Thank you)

Tw: though this is mostly fluffy comedy stuff there is a sucide attempt (unsuccessfully). Also if anyone needs this tagged as anything feel free to ask as always!

(Please reblog and hope you enjoy 😊)

"Misstah Crowley are we there yet?" One of the children tugs at the demons clothes.

"I already told you; were not going anywhere. Were waiting for the storm to pass," he gently pushes the child away but he comes back to his side.

"When is the storm gonna pass then? Can it be now?"

"I don't know kid, now butt off before you're tossed into the sea," Crowley growls. At first a face of horror passes over the kid but it quickly leaves as another child pipes up.

"He won't throw you overboard, Asher, nothing to worry about," She's older than the other but no more than 14.

"I can-" Crowley begins but stops hearing one of the many infants start crying.It took him two hours to rock them all to sleep. "Oh look what you did. Now they all will wake up,". He is right as babies wake up one after another crying in confusion or empathy, as it is rather hard to tell which is which at such a young age, and Crowley desperately tries to calm down each while simultaneously answering the older children's questions.

"So whose ship is this?" A girl in rags asks, he'll have to have Aziraphale miracle her some better clothes later.

"Noah's Arch," he whispers rocking two wailing infants, twins actually.

"Is he a friend of yours?" A boy who looks as well off as she did pipes up.

"Ehhh, I met him once or twice," the meetings Crowley is referring too is when he passed the man by while tempting other people to acts of evil in his town.

"Is they're another arch?" The girl asks. A group of children has formed around some of them helping with the babies or toddlers but others just to listen to what he has to say. Odd to say the least; Crowly has definitely spoke to groups of people at a time, and many listened with such interest, but not often answer earnest questions. Much less earnest questions he's answering truthfully.

"No, no other arch," the one twin started fussing again. "Shut up," he says to the baby but instead of a harsh tone his voice is sing songish.

"Then where are all the parents at?"

"Alright enough questions, I didn't bring you on here to annoy me," Crowley hisses and more of the little ones wake up crying. Great, more to deal with.

"I'm bored,"

"I'm hungry,"

"Alright! Alright! Go-" He looks around. He could always have them mess with the animals but they could get eaten by a lion as well as get caught by Noah. No, keeping them down here is a necessity but he couldn't constantly entertain them. Then Aziraphale catches his eye. He's in the corner reading various books and scrolls he brought with him on the arch. How he could bring those instead of children Crowley will never understand (and quite frankly even though he wished to confront him about it he also didn't want to hear about the 'ineffable' or have him get fussier than the babies and run away for a century). "You see Aziraphale- Yeah, go bother him. He'll read you stories," Many of the children rushed toward the unsuspecting angel and the ones who remained Crowley could manage.

"Cr-crowley?" It is late at night, despite not needing to sleep both demon and angel are exhausted, and he doesn't expect one of the children to wake so soon. Of course he doesn't really know what to expect with kids.

"Yes," Crowley responds.Being a demon, he can see in the dark and her expression of fear is clear. "What are you doing up? It's bad enough I have to feed those little things every hour do I have to do that with you?" At that she gives a small smile.

"No, nothing like that. I just had a scary dream is all,"

"Ah, those happen," Crowley has put nightmares in many a mind before, mostly to sway them, but never in a child's.

"It was about the arch flooding cause there were too many people. It sunk to the bottom of the sea and the fish ate everyone's bones," she states her eyes wide as she recalls the fake memory.

"Morbid," Crowley replies biting his lip not sure how to comfort the child. "Arch is really sturdy though. The instructions to build this thing came straight from God so if it sinks that's on heavens hands,".

"It sank cause we're not supposed to be on here. We aren't are we?" Her voice cracks and tears start to roll down her cheeks.

"Now don't- come on sit here," he taps the place beside him and she follows his instructions. "Everything is uh, complicated to say the least. Whether you're supposed to be here or not depends on which side your looking on it from. But one thing, and the most important thing, is I wouldn't bring you on here for nothing. Like do you think I want to babysit for who knows how long while the storm of the century is outside if I didn't think it was necessary?"

"N-no, " she gives another shy smile and wipes her tears with the back of her hand. "I guess not,"

"Exactly, your obviously a smart kid. If I wasn't absolutely positive this stupid boat was going to hold I wouldn't have even tried," he says and she wraps her arms around in a hug. He pats her back not sure how else to respond.

"Thank you Mr. Crowley, that'll make my nightmares go away for sure! You're a saint!" She says chipperly and before he can correct her she skips off to bed.

"You're so very evil Crowley. What an evil deed reassuring a child," Azriphale says with a grin of his own.

"And how long have you been here? I thought you were taking to Noah and his "holy" family. Never mind, bug off angel. I'm always evil and saving this brats is against the divine plan so its evil," he reasons and the other just shakes his head reading yet again.

Feeding the kids is Crowley's least favorite parts (he had to do it at least three times! Not even Aziraphale ate that much) of the day. They were all whiny like usual only this time is 10 million times worse since they whined about not having enough food despite Crowley giving them as much as they could possibly need.

"She got more then me!" One kid yells pointing at a teen girl.

"Do you want more?" Crowley asks grabbing a piece of bread to give to him.

"Well, no but it's not fair!"

"Life isn't fair and actually this is a very small part of your life that will be fair so deal with it," Crowley snaps and the kid begins to cry. "Damn- Aziraphale!" He calls but sees the angel with his hands full as well as a toddler climbing him. He wouldn't be able to comfort the kid for a while.

"Kid, kid, listen. This is ridiculous. Just stop crying, you're fine. You're well fed and you aren't hurt and-"  Crowley leans down but the kid continues to wail.

"I need to pee," A little girl says in his ear.

"Good to know," Crowley responds.

"I need to go now!" She yells and Crowley tilts his head away from her.

"Then go; you don't need my expertise you've done it plenty of times before," she whines again, kicks his shin, and walks away.

"Timothy is hungry," a teen hands him a baby while she calms down the still crying child.

"Does, Tim Tim need food? Hmmm, little pile of squishy flesh is hungry," Crowley asks reaching for the bottle of never ending milk. The baby cooks in response then hastily drinks the milk most of it going down his chin. "What a messy Tim Tim," he states as the baby sucks the milk down as if it's the last he'll ever have. He takes out a handkerchief cleaning up the giddy baby. "Out of everyone you've got to be the happiest baby. Did you know that? Did you know that, Tim Tim," At saying this Crowley heard a voice call his name and he looks up. Azriphale just mouths the words 'what a demonic demon Crowley is'.

"I'm the scariest demon in hell," Crowley tells the kids and most of them laugh excitedly.

"R-roar then! If your a demon roar like one!" A kid calls out.

"Roar? I'm a demon not a lion! I don't roar," he states.

"How do we know your a demon then? I think your just a weird kind man!" Another kid states.

"A man couldn't all bring us on an arch with plenty of food and drink. Nobody is that kind" A kid scolds the other  " Mr. Crowley is just an embarrassed angel,"

"I'm not an angel!" But many kids already are murmuring in agreement of the severely misinformed kid. The actual angle in the room gives a small chuckle "I can turn into a snake; the one that tempted Adam and Eve!" Crowley states.

"Do it then! Snake! Snake!" The kids begin chanting the word. Crowley sighs closing his eyes and starts to form into the cold blooded creature.

"H-he a snake!" Most kids laugh in glee only a few run to Azriphale in fear. Crowley can hear a kid concerned that "Mr. Crowley got eaten by a snake". The angel is sure to reassure that Mr. Crowley did not get eaten by a snake instead he can turn into a snake. The younger ones don't exactly understand the concept and are happy to see Crowley in his usual form again.

"Only saving kids and teens huh? What about those who were on the edge of things?" An older teen guy asks while the kids eat there bread and listen to one of the other teen's stories. Besides Azriphale the charismatic storyteller has been the most help especially since in the past she had to take care of ten kids. She definitely is the most experienced.

"Not sure what you mean on the edge," Crowley replies sipping a bit of his wine.

"The day the storm came in, the same day you found me at the market, was my sister's 18 birthday," he states. Crowley doesn't say a word feeling the air thick with tension. "We were twins but my birthday was the next day...she wasn't brought here, was she?"

"...no," The teen, or rather the adult (though he still looked like a boy of maybe 16 at the most) stands up.

"Everyone is gone? My family, friends, mentors? My house, destroyed?" He asks but doesn't expect an answer. Instead he walks away, starting to go up to the deck.

"Aziraphale, one of the humans left," Crowley walks over saying in a hushed voice.

"Left?" Aziraphale questions.

"He went into the storm; seems really upset. Just check on him to make sure he doesn't get caught. I have babies to feed in a little bit so I'm asking you. And… I think you might be able to convince him to come down here," Crowley explains.

"Well alright but you owe me a lunch for this," Crowley rolls his eyes but nods agreeing to the favor.

Azriphale found the man getting pelted by rain while he stood on the edge of the ship. He didn't turn around yet he spoke at hearing the angel's footsteps.

"The world from end to end is empty and void of life. Completely wiped out except for this ship here. This ship that has a family, animals, and then about a hundred stow-away children," He says his voice monotone. Azriphale doesn't explain that many places were spared; it doesn't feel right to correct the distraught human."Do you know how many people were out there? I don't even know. But surely all those people didn't deserve death? They didn't deserve to be pushed into this raging sea and drowned when they're body tires of the condition. If God wants us dead couldn't we just be strikes down by a bolt of lightning? Why make us suffer?"

"The plan of the almighty is ineffable; even to me," Azriphale says then adds "But, against many odds, you're alive! So let's go back inside before your clothes get wetter," the human lets out a sad chuckle.

"And after? Once this passes I have no one. I'm alone in this world...God wants me dead? Was that part of the plan?"

"Well, a little bit but something plans go differently then expected especially with demonic intervention and-" Azriphale stops as he sees the human toss himself forward.

The angel's wings jut out and he swoops down to catch the spiraling human. It's an experience that sadly Azriphale has done many times. In total he's saved 1200 humans in the last century who've tried to end their life. Sometimes by spilling their poisonous drink or whispering encouraging words in their ears but only four in total has he caught. This man will most definitely be his fifth.

He reaches him grabbing on and pulling him upward. A moment later and the human would've plunged head first in the icy sea and if not killed by it  would at the very least got a concussion.

"Now, now, it is not your time," Azriphale has his arms around the other's chest and can feel him shivering from the winds whipping around them. He positions his wings to shield the fragile being from the strongest winds.

"Apparently my time is past due; God wants me dead I'm just giving him his dues," He struggles in Azriphale's grasp but his grip doesn't loosen.

"Don't talk like that, let's dry you off and-"

"My sister would take care of the neighborhood kids. She'd feed them, she  raised me and my brothers since she was ten. She taught us manners and we'd attended church every Sunday. We pray before every meal and even after. She stole from a man richer than a king with manners akin to a pig! That is her only crime and yet she's under many feet of unmerciful water dead to this cruel world! Was that fair? Should she have died, angel?"  He yells out struggling against the other.

The man-no he really is just a boy- kicks with such force that Azriphale is forced to use a miracle. He falls asleep instantly no more shouting or protesting follows. He looks so peaceful sleeping, most humans do, and the angel frowns to himself. He'd awake just as agitated as before, perhaps even more, and could potentially try to commit suicide again.

Azriphale clicks his tongue thinking of a way to stop this humans distress. He said something about a sister did he not well...another miracle is performed; this time erasing all memories of her. It definitely wasn't his best miracle but couldn't be called his worst either.

"I'm so sorry," Azriphale mumbles out but over the roaring sea no one can hear him.

"You have wings? Does Mr. Crowley have some too?" A curious child asks touching Azriphale's feathers. A toddler to his right has decided the feathers are an excellent teething device and is trying to desperately get him off.

"Yes I do," Crowley says picking up the toddler presenting him a finger instead of the feathers he could choke on.

"Can we see?" Another asks walking over to him staring at his shoulders as if she could already see them.

"Maybe," He replies. "If you all are good for dinner and go to bed on time you can see them," Cheers follow Crowley's statement.

 The baby babbles at Crowely and since no one else is around he babbles back at her. She giggles continuing 'talking' to him.

"I hear you; pretty cramped place huh? But right now you have to go to sleep; can you go to sleep?" The baby happily replies with nonsense. She's the last baby awake but it quite a stubborn one.

"Go to sleep, little talker and maybe for once I'll get a break," he sings a tuneless soft lullaby. "And with my break, I'll get to bother, Azriphale! And he'll just read his books, or eat his food, and ignore me, because he is gooooood,".

The baby closes her eyes but Crowley continues his made up song "Go to sleep, little babe, and hope we'll get off this ship that's driving me insane," he finishes with a few la la's and the baby is fast asleep.

"Papa?" A small toddler walks running into Crowley head on. He steps back before falling on his butt "Papa?" He asks again.

"Nope, not a Papa," Crowley says patting the confused child head. "Just a demon doing bad,"

"Papa!" He exclaims and Crowley sighs.

"Nope. Very disappointed you didn't get it the first time,"

"Papa!"

"Now this is a little excessive don't you think? How many times do I need to say no?" Crowley asks putting his hands on his hips. He might as well humor the toddler.

"Pa-pa! Papa! Papa!" He claps his hands.

"Can your Papa turn into a snake?" The boy nods. "Really? I doubt that. Can he strike fear into anything and everything?" Again he nods. "Is your dad a demon? If so I might know him,"

"Papa!" He claps again.

"Is your Papa's name Crowely?"

"Yes!"

"I don't think so," but the child giggles in response.

"What a good parent you make Crowley," Azriphale states grinning (and dare Crowley say the smile is devilish?).

"Papa!" The toddler exclaims to Azriphale and he goes bright red.

"It seems the little one doesn't have a big vocabulary,"

"So that's what it is angel?" Crowley gives his own grin. He nods in response.

Six days pass before the rain stops and the sun comes out; and just as Azriphale says a rainbow appears promising to never flood the world again.

Crowley can be thankful for that. He isn't sure he can take care of hundreds of kids again. Though with all the hugs they give him he can't complain too much.