#if you ignore what Sunday is saying this looks so gay

[kalcifers-blog]

Void Silver #0 SunSpell edit (?) + the original panel

[nerdygaymormon]

Scriptures for queer people

I like that the scriptures show life is messy and complicated. God works with really flawed people and they learn to measure up and do amazing things. The scriptures are full of contradictions as people try to figure out God’s will and how it applies in their situation. The scriptures show that God’s people are a mess and often get it wrong. These are the chosen people? In that case, I’m doing alright. 

God is an out-of-the-box thinker who wants to be inclusive. The scriptures teach me that God values a relationship with me, will adjust things so the gospel works for me and my situation, and God can help me do amazing things.

I'm not claiming to be an expert or that people should agree with my interpretations. I'm simply sharing how I am thinking of these verses when I apply my viewpoint and experience as a queer Latter-day Saint

Instead of concentrating on all the specific answers & rules, I look for the overarching themes of the scriptures, I can apply those principles in my life and to my life’s situations. Some principles & teachings are more important than others, we can use the more important ones to help us think about the rest. The Bible emphasizes love, equality, & justice, we can use these to filter which messages are important for us and which should remain in the past as part of ancient cultures. For example, the Biblical principles of loving other people as yourself and treating others how you want to be treated should cause us to dismiss slavery even though the Bible allows it. Would forbidding someone from marrying who they love while allowing yourself that opportunity fit with the Biblical principles of love, equality, & justice? No.

I think most people view the Bible as decidedly anti-queer because certain “clobber passages” are regularly used against queer people. A closer inspection of those “clobber passages” shows when put back in context they’re not quite what people think. For example, ‘don’t have gay sex...as part of worshiping a pagan god.’ For the record, straight sex that is done as worship of another god is also condemned, but nobody goes around saying all straight sex is banned.

The verses people like to use to condemn homosexuality, when put back into their cultural context and original language, they are condemnations of sexual exploitation and abuse which was common in the ancient world. They are not condemnations of loving, consensual same-sex relationships. The marriage doesn't define what marriage is, so how can people claim the Bible is against same-sex marriage?

There’s queer-positive scriptures that are usually ignored because they don’t fit the anti-queer narrative people want the Bible to have.  

We’re also taught in Matthew 7 that good principles don’t bring forth bad results (“a good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit”). If teachings are bringing forth bad outcomes for a whole group of people, then we should discard those, they aren’t good.

It's sad to me that so much of modern Christianity identity is about being against LGBTQ people and against abortion when those things are not condemned in the Bible, but the Bible goes on and on about forgiving debt, liberating the poor, healing the sick, and loving others. Where are the sermons and Sunday School lessons on forgiving student debt, guaranteeing health care to every person, loving our LGBTQ+ neighbors, and decrying racism? The Bible has a lot to say about protecting women and children. Do we have preach more about queer people and abortions than we do condemning domestic violence, sexual assault, and molestation?

If every Christian church congregation in the United States decided to provide resources to help every child in foster care reconnect with their family or get adopted, each church would need to help only 1 child and there'd be none left in the foster care system. Same for the number of homeless people each church would have to help get into a home for there to be no more homeless people. Christians could transform the nation and the world if they actually applied the lessons taught by Jesus.

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Genesis 1 & 2 - Adam & Eve AND Adam & Steve : The purpose of this story isn’t to discount being gay or trans, in fact queerness fits into this story

Genesis 2 - Tree of the Knowledge of Good & Evil : Humans have been messing up what to do with the concept of good & evil. Gender roles are a result of the Fall

Genesis 3:20; Genesis 17:5 & 15; Genesis 32:28; Numbers 13:16; Matthew 16:17-18 - Changing Names : The Bible has much to teach about our obligation to respect a person’s name

Genesis 4:9-10 - Your Brother’s Blood Cries Out to Me from the Ground : The blood of queer people is crying from the ground

Genesis 6:9 - Noah’s obedience led to destruction : Kindness & inclusion are more important than obedience

Genesis 7:2-3 - Noah and the Ark : Some people point to the animals on the ark as proof God only honors male/female pairings, however for many animals Noah didn’t just bring 2 of them but 14, which offers opportunities for diversity

Genesis 9:13-16 - Rainbow : Queer people carry the promise of the rainbow

Genesis 9:20-27 - Noah & Ham : It’s wrong to use this passage to justify the enslavement of people, and to be against love between consenting gay adults

Genesis 12:1-3 : A blessing to all families - If we choose to harm rather than to bless queer families, then we are not the people of God

Genesis 16 - Hagar : We may still be required to deal with difficult situations, but we have a God who hears us, a God who knows us

Genesis 19:1-11 - Sodom & Gomorrah : It’s ironic THIS story is used against queer people when its message is the opposite

Genesis 19:26 - Lot’s wife turned into a pillar of salt : She became a memorial to the destruction of two cities and likewise we need to witness and bear record of the suffering and marginalization of queer people

Genesis 21 - Hagar, Part 2 : God finds all of us in the wilderness

Genesis 22 - Rejection of Ishmael and Binding of Isaac : We aren’t asked to sacrifice our queer children, doing so may cut us off from God

Genesis 25 - Jacob & Esau : The great blessing didn’t belong to the manly man but to the effeminate one

Genesis 34 - Rape of Dinah & the Response : Diverse viewpoints are needed in positions of power & decision making

Genesis 38 - Tamar : It is a sin to deny people fair treatment & they are justified to find solutions when basic rights are denied

Genesis 37-46 - Joseph Sold by his Brothers into Slavery : Life gets better and there may come a time for forgiveness and reconciliation

Genesis - The Bible teaches that wealth is destructive

Exodus 1 - Pharaoh Seeks to Murder the Hebrew Baby Boys : The right thing is to defy the oppressors in order to protect the innocent and the vulnerable

Exodus 3:14 - I AM THAT I AM : I am who I am

Exodus 3:15 - The God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob : Why not say “the God of Abraham, Isaac & Jacob”?

Exodus 10: 7-11, 24-26 - Passover is an annual reminder that we do not negotiate at the expense of others : Civil rights aren’t to be given sparingly, we fight for all.

Leviticus 18:5 & Ezekiel 20:11 - Doing what You Need to Live : Living is more important than obeying commandments

Leviticus 18, 20 - Lie with a Man as with a Woman : These verses forbid Jews from engaging in male-male sex done as part of pagan worship

Numbers 9:1-14 - Second Passover : God finds ways to include people

Numbers 21:6-9 - The Brass Serpent : The people’s tradition of not worshiping idols made them misunderstand what God wanted from them. What traditions do we have that blind us from what God wants for us?

Deuteronomy 22:5 - Cross Dressing : This verse isn’t about performing drag or living as a trans person, it’s meant to avoid harming others

Deuteronomy 23:17 - Whores and Sodomites : The word “sodomite” is used for male prostitutes

Lessons from Moses’ life for Queer Folks

Judges 4-5 - Deborah : A woman prophet? What else is possible?

Judges 19 - Murder of the Levite’s Concubine : Despite this horrific story, we don’t condemn heterosexuals & heterosexuality

Ruth & Naomi : The Bible celebrates this relationship of 2 women

1 Samuel 16:7 - The Lord Looketh on the Heart : Gender & orientation are matters of the heart and God knows us for who we are

Jonathan & David : The possibility this is a same-sex relationship blessed by God is why this story has been a favorite of queer Christians

1 Kings 14:24; 1 Kings 15:12; 1 Kings 22:46; 2 Kings 23:7 - Sodomites : The Hebrew Bible condemns worshiping a different god

Esther : By ‘coming out,’ Esther changed how the king viewed a marginalized group, and gender non-conforming people are the unsung heroes of this story

Book of Job : God had a different path for Job, and queer believers know God has a path for us

Psalms 27 - With the Lord’s Strength, We don’t need to Fear : The Lord won’t abandon us even if our parents do

Psalms 126:5 - Shall Reap in Joy : Life gets better

Psalms 133:1-3 - How Pleasant it is for Brethren to Dwell Together in Unity 

Psalms 139:13-14 - I am Fearfully and Wonderfully Made : Our sexual orientation & gender identity is woven throughout our bodies

Proverbs 6:16-19 - The 7 Things the Lord Hates : Being Queer ain’t on the list

Isaiah 3:9 - Declare their Sin as Sodom : Sodom’s sins are not taking care of the poor or visitors & not feeling guilt for committing sins (notice being gay isn’t one of the sins of Sodom)

Isaiah 43:1 - I have Called Thee by Thy Name; Thou art Mine : God is with us no matter whether our church is

Isaiah 51:1-2 - Abraham and Sarah are Intersex? : A traditional Jewish understanding for why they’re infertile is that they were intersex

Isaiah 54:2 - Enlarge the place of thy tents, and let them stretch forth the curtains : We need to make room for not just more people but for more diversity 

Isaiah 56:3-7 - Eunuchs Welcomed by God : God’s way is radical inclusiveness, God doesn’t marginalize people

Jeremiah 1:5 - Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee : You are not a mistake. God loves you and intentionally made you into who you are

Jeremiah 16:1-2 - God tells the prophet Jeremiah not to marry nor have a family : How does this fit with the Latter-day Saint idea of exaltation where marriage is required? Maybe we need to expand our vision of heaven

Jeremiah 29:1, 4-7, 11 - God Plans to Give You Hope and a Future: God’s plan includes blessing & prospering You

Ezekiel 16:49-50 - Two types of forbidden things, To’evah is forbidden for Jews and Zimah is an injustice or a sin : The gay sex acts prohibited in Leviticus 18:22 & Leviticus 20:13 are to’evah, not forbidden for anyone but the Israelites

Daniel - Daniel & Ashpenaz : God supports a loving gay relationship

Hosea 6:6 - God desires mercy, not burnt offerings : True religion isn’t about practicing rituals, it��s about extending love and mercy

Joel 2:28 - Restoration of Gospel Leads to an Increase in Knowledge : Science is providing knowledge about queer people

Amos 5:23-24 - God Wants Justice, Not Our Hymns : Enough with the talk, let’s enact real change to achieve justice

Micah 6:8 - the prophet says, "What does the Lord require of you?" Are we to kill our enemies because God is vengeful? No!!! That's not what Micah says. "To do justice, to do kindness, and to walk humbly with God." That is the whole point for the prophet Micah." : Are we just & kind to our queer siblings?

Malachi 4:6 - The human family is going to be united : if queer people are excluded then the whole is cursed

Socially Queer Jesus & Disciples : Queerness fits naturally with the life and teachings of Jesus Christ

Matthew 1 & Luke 3 - Jesus’ genealogy : Think what it this means for chosen family 

Matthew 1 : Joseph chose mercy over the Law - Joseph preserved Mary’s dignity and life

Matthew 2:1-12 : The Magi visit the Christchild : The Magi knew of the Savior’s birth but not those who read the Hebrew Bible. Knowledge, wisdom, and truth come from many sources and those inside a religion may be blind to what is apparent to others 

Matthew 4 - Denying Identity is a Tactic of the Devil : Understanding who we are is an important part of facing the challenges of life

Matthew 5:30 : And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee : if a church continues teaching queerphobic things, it may be necessary to cut it from your life in order to survive and thrive

Matthew 5:21-48 - Ye have heard that it was said...But I say unto you : Jesus is saying this text has been interpreted one way, but He is giving a better way. With all that God taught about loving others and about all being alike unto God, what is a better way to interpret how we treat and love queer people?

Matthew 5:43-48 - Love Your Enemies : These verses refute the idea that the two great commandments to Love God and to Love Our Neighbor are in conflict 

Matthew 6:9-13 - The Lord’s Prayer : We’re meant to build heaven on earth. There’s an idea that queer people will no longer be queer when they die and then can have joy and all the blessings. That’s wrong! We’re to have joy in THIS life. We’re to have justice in THIS life. We’re to have all the blessings in THIS life. We’re to be treated alike in THIS life. 

Matthew 6:27 - Can’t change your height or extend your life just by thinking about it : Queerness is not something we can simply choose to change. Thoughts, prayer, & faith aren’t going to change this part of who we are 

Matthew 7:9-12, 16-20 - If his Son Asks for Bread, Will He Give Him a Stone? : Our Heavenly Father is more liberal in his views, and boundless in his mercies and blessings, than we are ready to believe or receive

Matthew 8:2-3 - Jesus touched the leper : Contact with queer people heals others of their anti-queer bigotry, which leads to the question of who actually needs to be healed? 

Matthew 8:5-13 - The Centurion and his ‘Servant’ : Jesus holds up a gay man as an example of faith for all to follow

Matthew 9:18-26; Mark 5:21-34; Luke 8:41-56 - Woman touched the hem of Jesus’ garment : She persisted in getting what she needed. Queer people have to persist to get what they need

Matthew 10:29-31 - God knows of every sparrow that falls to the grown and has numbered every hair of your head. You are worth more than many sparrows : You can trust that God isn’t squandering souls, isn’t creating queer people while simultaneously condemning them for being queer

Matthew 12:50 - Who does Jesus proclaim as brother, sister, and mother? : Chosen Families

Matthew 13:24-30 - Parable of the Wheat and the Tares : This parable teaches that the wheat and the tares can’t be separated until the very end. That to pull up tares would also uproot the wheat. Whichever one we are, we’re inseparable from each other. We can’t remove them without removing ourselves. Only Christ can tell them apart and will separate them. However, a lot of people think they can tell, and unsurprisingly, they always think they’re the wheat, and often they assume queer people are the tares

Matthew 14:22-23 - Peter Walks on Water : Queer people need to believe in ourselves, that’s when miracles happen

Matthew 15:7-14 - But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men : Some churches are misguided and teach the biases of humans rather than God’s message of love

Matthew 15:10-20 - The things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them : Racist, transphobic, and homophobic words make us unworthy

Matthew 15:21-28 - Yet the Dogs Eat of the Crumbs which Fall from their Master’s Table : God’s love is so expansive it can surprise and stretch even Jesus Christ 

Matthew 17:1-9; Luke 9:28-43 - Jesus Comes Out : Jesus revealed the deepest truth about Himself to His closest friends

Matthew 18:6 - Do not Offend the Little Ones who Believe : Being queer isn’t the problem, it’s the church experience that is broken and defective

Matthew 19:5-12 - Marriage & Eunuchs : Jesus declares men who aren’t attracted to women are exempt from a male+female marriage

Matthew 19:16-23 - Obey the commandments to have eternal life : There is no commandment to live a heteronormative life

Matthew 20:1-16 - Parable of the Laborers in the Vineyard : Queer people are relying on the goodness of the Master to bless us the same as others

Matthew 21:18-22; Mark 11:12-25 - Jesus curses the fig tree : The only time Jesus cursed a fig tree was for not being fruity enough, maybe we should contemplate on that as we consider how to love our LGBTQ+ neighbors

Matthew 21:31 - The Publicans and the Harlots go into the Kingdom of God before You : Church leaders are setting themselves up to go from ‘First’ to ‘Last’

Matthew 21-27; Mark 11-15; Luke 19-23; John 12-19 - Final Week of Jesus’ Life : Many lessons from Jesus’ life apply to queer lives

Matthew 22:23-32 - When His disciples asked about marriage and about whose wife someone will be when they reach heaven, this was Jesus’ answer, “You are in error because you do not know the scriptures or the power of God. At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage, they will be like the angels in heaven.” : Sounds like no heterosexuality in heaven. Sorry.

Matthew 22:36-40 - The 2 Great Commandments

Matthew 23:37 - Even as a Hen Gathereth her Chickens under her Wings : Jesus uses feminine pronouns and imagery to illustrate His role

Matthew 25:1-13 - Parable of the 10 Virgins : the foolish bridesmaids listened to those who said they weren’t worthy to meet the groom

Matthew 25:14-30 - Parable of the Talents : telling queer people not to “act” on their queerness is akin to telling us to bury our talent and to go back to the Lord without doing anything with it

Matthew 25:31-46 - Jesus will use how I Treat Others to Determine if I Inherit his Blessings : Mistreating queer people isn’t a qualifier for Christ’s blessings

Garden of Gethsemane : Asking for help & seeking emotional support is Christlike

Easter : Jesus' resurrection can be read as a coming out story. Jesus came out into a changed body and new way of life. Likewise, queer people come out into a new identity and can never go back to what it was before. Others may look back and see your empty tomb that contains your deadname & the misgendered identity of how they saw you, but they'll also see your life reborn as you move forward in your new identity.

Mark 1:10-11 - God Knows Us, We aren’t a Mistake : Many queer people get messages of love from God

Mark 1:32 - Jesus is teaching that under certain circumstances it’s okay to break the rules about the Sabbath.

Mark 2:1-13 - Friends Lower a Paralyzed Man through the Roof to be Healed by Jesus : Better to break the house than to break the person

Mark 2:15 - Jesus invited sinners & disciples to His house and fed them : We also can invite people to our homes for meals as a way to show we love them and want them in our lives. As Ben Schilaty likes to say, “Love the sinner, invite them to dinner.”

Mark 2:27 - The Sabbath was Made for Man, not Man for the Sabbath : We don’t have to break ourselves against the commandments. They’re for our benefit, not our harm

Mark 9:17-27 - This is a story of demonic possession which causes the individual to act in strange ways, and when the demon(s) is cast out the person is healed : Today we use medicine and counseling because we understand diseases and mental health issues. When we know better, we should do better.

Mark 10:46-52 - Ask People Questions and Listen : “We need to listen to and understand what our LGBT brothers and sisters are feeling and experiencing”

Mark 12:30-31 - Love God and Love People : There’s no greater commandments. How do we love queer people, and do they recognize how we treat them as love?

Mark 12:41-44; Luke 21:1-4 - The Widow’s Mite : Jesus condemns making the widow impoverished and the same applies to queer people who are asked to sacrifice all they are

Mark 13:24-37 - Fig Tree’s Leaves Show Summer is Near : Members are trying to build a church that’s more inclusive of LGBTQ+ people. Maybe summer isn’t near, but perhaps it is Spring as it seems the winter chill is thawing

Luke 1:27 - Mary is a virgin : The Greek term parthenos normally referred to an unmarried woman of marriageable age, because in their society an unmarried female typically hadn’t yet had sex. As a missionary, I learned the Korean language does the same thing, all unmarried women of marriageable age can be referred to as a virgin, even though some unmarried women have had sex. But if we keep with the tradition that Mary was in fact a virgin as we think of that term in English, and she did not conceive through ordinary means but through the Holy Spirit she produced an offspring without a human father, then that raises some interesting questions. For example, the Y chromosome is inherited from the biological father, which calls into question how is Jesus a male? Could this suggest Jesus is trans?

Luke 1:37 - Nothing is impossible with God...except for LGBTQ+ people getting into the Celestial Kingdom, at least that’s what some Christians believe

Luke 1:78-79 - Give Light to Them that Sit in Darkness : Going from the darkness of the closet to the dayspring when we learn our Heavenly Parents love us

Luke 2; Matthew 1:18-25 - Nativity Story : Queer people can see ourselves in this story

Luke 2:52 - Jesus Increased in Wisdom and Stature, and in Favour with God and Man : Jesus didn’t marry, as a church we need to reprioritize what is important 

Luke 3:12-14 - Jesus was able to meet people where they were at. He didn't ask the Roman soldiers to stop being a Roman Soldier. Jesus told him to be just and virtuous in his soldier duties. How does this apply to queer people?

Luke 3:23 - Jesus began His ministry at age 30 : There’s no rush, come out when you’re ready

Luke 4:16-30 - No prophet is accepted in his own country : Jesus understands the hardships & joys of ‘coming out’

Luke 4:17-21 - What did Jesus come to do? : Do we liberate or oppress queer people? Do we share God’s abundance with them or withhold it?

Luke 7:36-50 - Woman who Anoints Jesus’ Feet : Queer people’s tears wash Jesus’ feet 

Luke 10:25-37 - The Good Samaritan : Members of the church avoid the injured man, or perhaps are even the ones who hurt him

Luke 13:24-30 - The First Shall be Last and the Last First : We’re gonna be surprised at who gets into heaven

Luke 14:15 - an ass or an ox fallen into a pit : Under some circumstances it’s okay to break a commandment/covenant

Luke 15:1-7 - The Lost Sheep : The 99 sheep are also sinners but they think it’s just the 1 who is lost

Luke 15:8-10 - The Lost Coin : The woman’s joy at being reunited with her lost coin is like God’s joy at being reunited with a queer person.

Luke 15:11-32 - The Prodigal Son : Queer People go on a journey similar to the Prodigal Son

Luke 17:34-35 - One Shall be Taken, and the Other Shall be Left : There shall be two men in one bed; two women shall be ‘grinding’ together, some of them are saved and some aren’t

Luke 22:10 - A Man Carrying a Pitcher of Water : A man not conforming to gender norms is mentioned without any negative connotation

Luke 22:33-34 - Paul will deny Jesus 3 times : What if Jesus tells Paul to deny Him so that he would live to lead the church? Queer people sometimes deny being queer in order to be safe (especially when they’re in the closet)

Luke 22:50-51 - After Peter Slices Off a Man’s Ear, Jesus says “No More of This!” and Heals the Man’s Ear : One day Jesus will say to those who harm queer people, “No more of this!”

John 1:11 - His own received him not : Many queer people experience being rejected by their families and loved ones

John 3:16 - Whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life : Despite what some teach, Jesus didn’t come to earth to condemn us, but to save us. Unfortunately, some Christians add “unless you’re queer, in which case you can’t have eternal life”

John 4 - Jesus meets a woman at a well and points out she has had 5 husbands and now lives with a man to whom she is not married : What’s interesting is Jesus doesn’t call her to repent or command her to stop sinning. Contrast this with purity culture. 

John 6:37-39 - I Shall Lose None of all Those He has Given Me : The Church may cast out, but Jesus does not

John 8:2-11 - Woman Caught in Adultery : Jesus stood with the woman, not the religious leaders

John 9:1-3 - Who sinned, the blind man or his parents? : We all have inherent value and should be respected and loved

John 10:10 - I am Come that They Might have Abundant Life : A Harvard Study found Relationships are key to happiness, as are having good health, being educated, having coping skills, and giving back to the community. This is how to have joy, don’t deny this to queer people. 

John 11:43 - Jesus Helps Lazarus to Come Out : Coming out of the closet can feel like going from being dead to coming back to life, or to being fully alive

John 13:23 - John, whom Jesus Loved, is Laying against Jesus’ Breast : Could John & Jesus be in a same-sex relationship?

John 13:26 - Jesus feeds Judas : Jesus never excluded Judas, Judas excludes himself. So why does the church exclude queer people and treat us as enemies?

John 13:35 - By This Shall Men Know Ye are my Disciples if Ye have Love One to Another : To be Christian is to love others, including LGBTQIA+ people

John 14:1-3 - “In my Father's house are many mansions...” : Christ doesn’t tell queer people there’s not a place for us

John 20:15 - Supposing Him to be the Gardner : Jesus is our Gardner

Acts 1:15 - Peter has a dream where God commands him to consume food that his religion considers “unclean.” Peter is reminded that it’s God who gets to declare what is clean and may even contradict the law : This passage shows that God’s promises and beloved community are not defined by our own rules or boundaries, or even by our understanding of God’s law. God is constantly drawing us to love our neighbors

Acts 8:26-39 - Apostle Baptizes Eunuch into the Church : The early Church welcomed queer people. When will the modern Church allow queer people to fully participate?

Acts 10:15 - What God Hath Cleansed, that Call not thou Common : People who were traditionally excluded are welcome

Acts 10:34 - Peter declared “God shows no partiality”

Acts 17:28 - God has a Womb : Do we use the image of God to see the Divine in all of us or do we use God to diminish others?

Romans 1:20 - To Know God, Look at the Things God Created : What does the diversity of different sexual orientations & gender identities tell us about God?

Romans 1:26-27 - Vile Affections : People use this against gays, but it’s really directed at straight people

Romans 8:38-39 - Nothing Separates us from God’s Love : Nothing can separate us from the love of God. Not church leaders, not metaphorical muskets, not the church

Romans 10:12 - There is no distinction between Jew & Greek, the same Lord is the Lord of all, bestowing riches on all who call on Him

Romans 13:10 - Love Does no Wrong to Others : If church is causing harm, then it is not doing the work of Christ and God

1 Corinthians 1:27-28 - God Chose the Lowly Things of this World : Things look different from the margins than they do from the center

1 Corinthians 3:16 - You are the temple of God : The actual temple is our bodies and it's beautiful the way transgender people get to co-create with God in building their temple 

1 Corinthians 4:3-4 - We’re often told not to judge others and not to let others judge us, but it’s easy to forget we shouldn’t shouldn’t judge ourselves. Work hard, do your best, and let yourself be forgiven. When we repent, the Lord forgives and forgets all of our transgressions so we should allow ourselves the same peace of mind. Stop beating yourself up, It’s okay, let it go

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 - The Unrighteous Shall Not Inherit the Kingdom of God : No one believes Paul is condemning sex between heterosexual couples as unrighteous, we shouldn’t assume He’s condemning relationships between people of the same gender

1 Corinthians 7 - We Shouldn’t Force Ourselves to be Celibate if We have Sexual Desires, Instead We Should Channel our Sexual Appetites within Marriage : A great argument for Christians to accept & celebrate gay marriages

1 Corinthians 12:12-13 - All the Members are One Body : The church needs its LGBTQ+ members, without us the body of the church is incomplete

1 Corinthians 14:10-13 - So Many Kinds of Voices in the World : It takes every voice for the choir to sound beautiful, no one is without significance

1 Corinthians 15:41 - Glory of the Sun, Moon and Stars : The sun, moon and stars all appear in the same sky. Could this mean we’ll all be together?

Galatians 2:1-5 - Gentiles are not Required to become Jews : Gentiles are accepted as they are and not forced to lose their identity by becoming Jews. Likewise queer people should be accepted as we are and not required to live as cisgender straight people

Galatians 3:28 - Ye Are All One in Christ Jesus : The scriptures say that all our diversity is welcome by Christ

Galatians 5:22-23 - There is No Law Against Love : The law doesn’t distinguish between gay and straight love

Ephesians 5:22-33 - A marriage between a man and a wife is used to symbolize Christ’s relationship with the church : If the church is made up of its members, we are the bride of Christ, we are in a marriage relationship with Christ. Which is an interesting concept for cis hetero men, they’re in a same-sex marriage with Jesus

Colossians 3:9-11 - There is not Greek & Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, slave & free, we’re all one in Christ : We can continue this metaphor to say there is not difference between cis & trans, or gay and straight, you’re all one in Christ

1 Timothy 1:8-10 - Whoremongers...Them that Defile Themselves with Mankind...Menstealers : Condemnation of men who use boy prostitutes, and the slave dealers who procured the young boys and sold them into prostitution, in other words a condemnation of pedophiles, not as some claim of all homosexuals

1 Timothy 3:2 - Husbands of One Wife : Paul is not trying to address questions about sexual orientation or gay marriage in this verse

2 Timothy 3:1-3 - Without natural affection : Hateful, shaming, rejecting behavior by a parent to a queer child certainly sounds like the opposite of “natural affection” and was prophesied in the New Testament

1 Timothy 4:1-5 - Forbidding to marry : This is about people in the congregation leaving the faith because of what’s taught at the pulpit, teachings which happen to not be in line with God’s will . If you're against people of consenting age getting married, it seems like this is a test to show who's on the wrong side.

James 1:27 - Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is to care for orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world : Pure religion is not about hiding away in an ivory tower and discussing eternal truths--it's about being out in the world and living those truths by caring for people. We can come closest to Christ not by studying and memorizing His words but by loving the way He loved "that when he shall appear we shall be like him" (Moroni 7:48).

1 John 4:7-8 - He that Loveth not, Knoweth not God; for God is Love : Any genuine love comes from God. Unfortunately, Christians have created many laws against love

1 John 4:20 - If you hate others then you don’t love God : Quote this verse to any Christian who is yelling scriptures at you for being queer

Jude 1:7 - Going after Strange Flesh : Some use this to condemn homosexuality, but what would be the word for a married person going after “strange flesh,” aka “another flesh”? Adultery!

Revelation 4:1-4 - There’s a Rainbow Around the Throne of God : Confirmation that queer people make it to heaven

1 Nephi 2:2 - God tells Lehi to leave the land given to his ancestors, leave behind the temple, leave behind extended family, and go on a new path : Many queer people also get this message, to leave behind the church, the temple, and the community which are hurting them

1 Nephi 4:6-19 - Nephi Kills Laban : What does it tell us about God that He is chill with murder but not two men or two women in love? Maybe it’s the believers that are mixing up what is okay and what is not

1 Nephi 8 - When Lehi tastes the fruit of the tree, which symbolizes the pure love of Christ, he wants his family to experience it with him : God’s love isn’t meant to be experienced alone

1 Nephi 16:2 - the guilty take the truth to be hard, for it cutteth them to the very center : The truth about how church hurts queer people can be hard for believers to hear 

1 Nephi 16:10, 26-29 - Liahona : They had the Brass Plates, but that wasn’t enough. 

2 Nephi 2:25 - Adam Fell that Men Might Be; and Men are that They Might have Joy : A Harvard study found relationships are key to happiness, also helpful are good coping skills and giving back to the community. This is how to have joy

2 Nephi 26:33 - All are Alike Unto God : When will the Church embrace all people?

2 Nephi 31:20 - Love of all men : those who try to make sure they don’t love us too much so that it’s clear they don’t condone all our choices, they are breaking the commandments.

Jacob 5 - Allegory of the Olive Tree : Fruitful trees start producing bad fruit and wild olive branches are grafted in : It’s interesting that good fruit comes from margins of the vineyard, which is not the expected place. The Lord operates in places those in the center don’t even know about

Omni - Two Queer Authors? : This book is written by 5 different men, 2 of them have no sons to whom they could hand it down. Could that be it's because they’re queer?

Mosiah 3:19 - Putteth off the natural man : It’s natural to feel uncomfortable around people who are different from you. Try putting off your natural reaction and learn to see as God does.

Mosiah 9 - Zeniff sees beyond the biased teachings : It’s hard to hate people up close

Alma 7:11-12 - That He May Know How to Succor his People : The atonement lets Jesus know how to help us

Alma 17:24-25 - Ammon & King Lamoni : They love each other

Alma 19 - Abish : Abish was closeted, God used her to upend social norms

Alma 32:9-10 - What Shall We Do? For We are Cast Out of Our Synagogues : Queer people can worship God whether we’re allowed at church or the temple

Alma 34:34 - We’re still queer when we’re resurrected

Alma 37:6 - Who are the small and simple? : Queer people who were considered small and simple were the ones strong enough to break the rules of masculinity and femininity which made it safe for the strong and powerful to come out as queer

Alma 41:10 : Wickedness never was happiness : What makes you joyful is not wicked

Alma 53:2 - Captain Moroni and General Lehi : Could Moroni and Lehi love each other as more than just as friends and soldiers, but as family?

Alma 56:16-17 - Helaman and the 2000 young warriors show up and boost the soldiers’ morale : I can easily imagine feeling beat up and defeated by the nonsense of church folk, and then the arrival of a few more queer people would lift me up and feel like those who be with us are brave and fabulous and what we have is worth defending and affirming.

Alma 60:5-10 - Captain Moroni’s opening words could be a cry of marginalized people and a damning indictment of complicity or participation in their oppression

Ether 6 - Jaredite Barges are Driven by the Winds to the Promised Land : All 8 barges made it to the Promised Land and each made a separate journey

Ether 12:4 - Hope for a Better World : What would a better world look like? A place where we’re all treated alike and allowed personal dignity

Ether 12:27 - I Make Weak Things Become Strong Unto Them : To become strong, people must acquire a positive self image

3 Nephi 28 - The 3 Nephites : Could they be queer? It’s a possibility

Doctrine and Covenants 1 - Purpose of revelations to Joseph Smith : How is the church doing in these purposes in regards to queer people? 

Doctrine and Covenants 38:25-27 - If Ye are not One Ye are not mine : Bad news for the homophobes, transphobes, and all those who oppose their queer siblings

Doctrine and Covenants 46:3-6 - Don’t Cast People out of Church Meetings : Don’t cast out queer people but instead provide a place that is safe, welcoming and inclusive

Doctrine and Covenants 49:15-17 - Whoso Forbiddeth to Marry is not ordained of God : This is a rejection of requiring life-long celibacy and affirms that getting married is approved by the Lord

Doctrine and Covenants 74 - Sometimes apostles teach their own opinions as commandments : Sometimes apostles actually are teaching things opposite of the Lord’s will 

Doctrine and Covenants 78:5-6 - If Ye are not Equal in Earthly Things Ye cannot be Equal in Obtaining Heavenly Things : We could seal gay couples today if we wanted to, that would help make things equal on earth.

Doctrine and Covenants 93:33-34 - Fulness of Joy Contingent on Connectedness of Spirit & Body : Transitioning can be part of a person’s journey towards godliness

Doctrine and Covenants 121:41 - Priesthood doesn’t give Authority and Power over Others : It’s how you treat others

Doctrine and Covenants 128:18 - We cannot be pro-family and anti-LGBTQ+ at same time : Everyone talking about being exalted without their LGBTQ+ family members WON’T BE.  If same-gender couples and trans people aren’t exalted, NO ONE will be. 

Doctrine and Covenants 130:2 - And that Same Sociality which Exists among Us Here will Exist among Us in Eternity : Love will prevail

Doctrine and Covenants 131 - Eternal Life : Nothing in this section excludes queer people from obtaining Eternal Life

Doctrine and Covenants 132 - New and Everlasting Covenant : There’s no reason to think queer relationships were meant to be excluded from being sealed

Doctrine and Covenants 137:7-9 - We will be Judged According the Desires of our Heart : Queer people will not be judged for not completing opportunities not open to us

Moses 6:31 - Enoch doesn’t See Himself as God Does : When queer people accept ourselves it opens 1000 doors of possibility

Moses 7:28-40 - What makes God weep? : God weeps when we don’t have love for one another

Joseph Smith--History - God can be found outside church

Articles of Faith 2 - Adam’s Transgression : Elder Oaks classifies gay marriage as a transgression, not a sin. What are the implications of that?

Articles of Faith 8 - Scriptures only as Good as the Translation and Interpretation : Has the Church & Christianity been interpreting scriptures using fear, ignorance, and personal bias in a way that’s harmful to queer people?

Articles of Faith 13 - Doing Good to All Men : Harming queer people and denying them the promises & blessings made to others is the opposite of what this church claims to believe

Proclamation on the Family - It doesn’t say what most people assume it does. Queer people aren’t discussed at all in this document

Criteria by which Christ will Evaluate our Lives

[sofa-king-lame]

Snippet Sunday

Ok so it's technically Monday here in Sydney (5:20pm lol) but it's still Sunday somewhere, right? Maybe not. Whatever.

Tagged by @playinginthunderstorms and @semperama

This is a snippet from Eddie's POV for the Buck 1.0 fic, tentatively titled 'I Save Myself, I'm Saving You' (from the song 'Deeper Water' by Deadstar).

------

So he downloads Tinder and starts swiping with Shannon on his right, providing sometimes helpful sometimes sarcastic commentary.  

“He’s kinda cute,” she muses, swiping right for him on a profile of a guy boasting that he can lift his couch with one arm. 

“Kinda full of himself,” Eddie snorts, but is maybe not so secretly very much into the thought that this guy could probably pick him up and manhandle him, so. They match and the guy messages Eddie immediately. 

Max: I could definitely lift you. Pin you against a wall and fuck you until you can’t walk for a week. Sound like something you’d be into? 

And, well. Maybe eventually. But at this point Eddie had only been with Shannon and even though he was confident he was very gay, he had zero experience with guys beyond experimenting on his own with some toys he’d ordered online. And this seemed like too big of a first step, so he ignores the message. 

“Can you ask him if he’s bi, at least? I could be into that,” Shannon says, trying to pluck the phone out of Eddie’s hand. He swats her away and goes back to swiping, matching next with a guy who looks buff enough to snap Eddie in half. His message to Eddie is just as sexually aggressive as the last one, so Eddie ignores him as well. 

“Jesus, Shannon. This is a bit much for me, I’m not looking to get split in half,” Eddie sighs, putting his phone down in front of him. Shannon snatches it up quickly, continuing to swipe. 

“Just one more match. If he’s a bust too then we can give it a rest for the night,” she argues. “Ooh ok, look at this guy. Tall, cute, blonde, goes by ‘Firehose’. And a very tame first message...messages. Chat to him.” 

Firehose: Well hello Eddie, mid-20s 

Firehose: What brings you to Tinder on this fine Wednesday evening 

Firehose: You look like you could use a drink 

EddieD: Honestly, I’m not sure. My ex-wife talked me into it and I’m wondering if I’ve made the right choice. I could definitely use a drink, though. You free now? 

“Shannon! I can’t go out now, aren’t you leaving soon? It’s my night with Chris, I need to take him to school in the morning,” Eddie huffs, taking his phone back. Shannon laughs and Eddie hates her a little (except he doesn’t, not at all. Now that they’re friends again after all the divorce dust has settled, he loves her like he did in the early days. Which, he realises now, is as a friend). 

“I can stay here tonight as long as you’re back in time to take him to school in the morning, I have to open the store at eight.” 

And, well. Ok. 

----

Tagging @smilingbuckley @exhuastedpigeon @disasterbuck @veronae-buddie @hotshotsxyz

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

NEW FIC

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

YEAH!

129 for ❄️:

---

“Oh,” Buck blinks. “I thought therapy was Mondays.”

“It is,” Eddie confirms. “There are other kinds of appointments, you know.”

Buck waits for Eddie to elaborate, but it doesn’t come. 

“Ah,” Buck eventually nods. “That kind of massage.”

“Ugh,” Eddie groans, rolling his eyes. “Fuck off.”

Buck smirks.

“Sunday, okay?” Eddie says. “Can we hang out Sunday?” 

Something flickers across Buck’s expression. Too quickly for Eddie to read it.

“Absolutely,” Buck smiles eventually. “Sunday it is.”

iv.

“It was a tragedy, really, that did it,” Charlie explains. 

He’s the first person to volunteer to answer Jodie’s question. Eddie thinks he’s sort of brave. Jodie’s question isn’t easy. Eddie’s not sure where he’d even start. What was the thing - the event or decision - that made you want to make this change? 

That’s trickier than it sounds, right? She’s not asking, when did you know you were gay, exactly. This isn’t as cut and dry as it was for Buck. No, well one day a guy came up and kissed me and I thought, yep, liked that, too. Though, he’s sure it is more complicated for Buck. Just, sometimes Eddie envies that Buck went from not knowing to knowing, like a light switch. There was no knowing and then trying desperately not to know. 

Jodie isn’t asking, when did you know? She’s asking, when did you stop trying not to know? When did you stop ignoring it? Why have you quit trying to shove it down, lock it away, and look in the opposite direction? And that’s a more complicated question. 

“A series of tragedies, actually,” Charlie continues. “My mother died. Ovarian cancer. Two years later, I lost my brother and his family. He was an addict and… Well, it was bad. Really bad. I was lost. I didn’t understand him. Hated him, really. Had for a long time, and I felt guilt for hating him. My wife - uh, my ex now - she’s the one who suggested I go to Al-Anon.”

Eddie understands guilt and anger and the endless spiral they can create. Not that it’s ever been related to addiction in his own life. But he thinks he can understand how a space for that might have been healthy. Might have kept him out of other spaces. Like cage fights, for example. 

“It all kind of spiraled from there, I guess. In figuring out a way to have empathy for everything my brother had been trying to drink away, I guess I sort of opened a can of worms. All the things I’d forced myself not to look at. Couldn’t put the lid back on it.”

Eddie can’t put a lid back on it either. That’s why he’s here, right? His attempts have failed. Badly. His attempts to put a lid on it sent his son packing for another state. Even he didn’t exactly recognize them for what they were, at the time.

“Six months after starting Al-Anon, I asked my wife for a divorce. She thought I’d lost my mind,” Charlie says. “It didn’t go well. Broke the kids’ hearts. I never explained it to them. That’s still… A problem. It’s been almost ten years.”

Panic grips Eddie’s chest. Ten years? Charlie’s relationship with his kids has been fractured for ten years? Eddie can’t do that. He can’t let that be him. Christopher has been gone not even a full month at this point and he feels like he’s dying a little bit every day. What would a decade do to him? Chris, almost twenty-four and still hating Eddie? Eddie would die. He would wither and die. 

“Eddie,” Jodie says. Eddie flinches at being perceived. “You just had quite a reaction to what Charlie said. Why is that?”

“Sorry,” Eddie mumbles. “It’s nothing.”

Charlie’s face tightens, and Eddie realizes he must think he’s being judged. That Eddie thinks he’s a bad dad or something. Shit. 

“I just…” Eddie starts again, trying to repair any unintentional damage. “My son isn’t talking to me either, right now. So I… Uh, empathize. That’s all.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Charlie replies. A little stiff, but Eddie can hear the relief in his voice. 

Eddie nods. 

“Eddie, would you like to go next?” Jodie asks.

Fuck. Why couldn’t Eddie just keep his damn face still?

“No,” Eddie admits, earning himself a chuckle from the other participants. “But, uh, I guess I will.”

“Thank you,” Jodie replies patiently. 

Eddie takes a deep breath. He doesn’t really want to tell this story. It makes him seem deranged. Unhinged. Like a bad person, even. He doesn’t think he’s a bad person. But what if they all hear his story and think that he is?

“Uh…” Eddie starts, trailing off. 

Charlie gives him a little nod. Encouraging him forward. Eddie feels a little surge of reassurance. Right. Charlie shared his story and probably thought the same way. Because, on the surface, it looks sort of similar, doesn’t it? A guy blowing up his life. Hurting a woman who loved him. Hurting his children. They aren’t that different. And Eddie doesn’t think Charlie is a bad person at all.

“So…” Eddie takes a deep breath. 

He’s not sure where to start, actually. Does he start with thoughts he tried to shove away and pray away as a teenager? Does he start with getting Shannon pregnant? Does he start with her dying?

[nottskyler]

I disagree with the belief that reproduction of divine beings will look anything like the unequal burden that exists here and now in our fallen world. From Mary conceiving the Savior by the power of Gd rather than sex to Adam being formed from the dust and Eve from a rib, there seems to be a precedent for creating life outside of cis-straight sex even in this fallen world. Yet somehow the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has decided to ignore all these evidences in the scriptures and hang new doctrines on the sandy foundation of a revelation that contradicts itself: Doctrine and Covenants 132.

(I acknowledge that I wrote a post about 132 being the law of polyamory, but the section I read to write this post was not the same section I read when I wrote that post. Whether that is because of the Mandela effect or I had my “JST” glasses on, I do not know.)

I want to start out with why I believe the unequal division of reproduction labor is a characteristic of the fall because it is better to start from a place of faith than disbelief. When we talk about the fall in Sunday School and list the characteristics of a fallen world, we usually end up with a list that looks like this: illness, death, disability, weeds, work to survive, and (if you have an enthusiastic feminist) painful pregnancy and childbirth. The purpose of the fallen world is given when we look at what these things all have in common.

When you are sick, someone else needs to do the work you normally do or the sickness will spread. When someone passes away, people need community to help support them in their grief. Disabled people need support to do some things while needing others to completely take over other tasks. Basically, all the effects of the fall are things that make us need to help and support each other. A world designed as a perfect test to see if we will help people who need it.

What happens when we fail these tests? When we abuse the possibility of death we get murder and war and genocide. When we ignore the consequences of sicknesses, we get pandemics. When we abuse the need for labor to survive, we get wealth inequality, slavery and racism, and dangerous working conditions. But abusing painful pregnancy and birth doesn’t seem to be all it takes to get sexism, rape, and sexual violence. Adding lust brings us closer, but I think the true root of sexism and sexual violence is the unequal division of reproductive labor because the benefit of making more humans without having to do the labor yourself is ripe for exploitation.

If you look at teachings of modern day prophets, you will find lots of teachings that allude to the fact that the way reproduction works on this earth is how it will work in the eternities. It is the teaching that is foundational to rejecting gay marriage and polyamory that isn’t polygamy. But when you look at the scriptures, you have section 132 and Abraham 3 who teach contradictory doctrines to each other. D&C 132:63 teaches “for they [multiple virgins] are given unto him to multiply and replenish the earth according to my commandment...and for their exaltation in the eternal worlds, that they may bear the souls of men” whereas Abraham 3:22 teaches of “intelligences that were organized before the world was;” which were the souls of humans before we were born on this earth. What do we do when scriptures contradict themselves?

Ten years ago, I likely would have told you to pray and listen to what the prophet has to say. Now I know that everything spoken by Christ or His servants can be tested so you can know for yourself whether it is true (John 7:17 and many other places); just remember that not every commandment has immediate consequences and sometimes have consequences that are a problem on an aggregate level (for example: pollution). When it comes to things we can’t know here and now for ourselves, we are best to look at the fruits to know the truth (3 Nephi 14:20 and Matthew 7:20).

It is very tempting to completely throw out D&C 132, seeing how the sealing power had been revealed before and likely has a written record elsewhere that could be put in its place (refer to section heading), especially with how many parts contradict scriptures. Jacob, in Jacob 2:23-24, condemns David and Solomon for practicing polygamy where D&C 132:38-39 extols them both for polygamy except for the murder of Uriah. Then verse 61 says “if any man espouse a virgin, and desire to espouse another, and the first give her consent” (D&C 132:61) while verse 52 commands Emma to accept polygamy, which is not consent in case you were never taught what consent it. Then, of course, D&C 132:63 where it claims polygamy is to bear souls of men in the eternal worlds whereas Jacob 2:30 states that polygamy is a temporary law when Gd needs to raise up a righteous seed.

But this is simply setting up the stage of contradictions, we can’t know truth without looking at its fruits. And honestly, there were terrible consequences in Joseph Smith’s time. Emma Smith is considered by many to have fallen away and some polygamist marriages were of dubious consent, but, other than that, wives of Church leaders were counseled on affairs of the Church, women performed what would be considered priesthood blessings today, girls passed the sacrament. While there wasn’t an office of prophetess like the wife of Isaiah had, women and men were more equal in the Church than they are today.

The full effects of oppression came later when it was not only followed but considered doctrine to build upon. I’m not a Church historian and so I can go into the specifics to how it got to be this way, but I can look at what has been built on this foundation and the consequences in our day: The belief that women are and will be the ones responsible for reproduction has created the idea that men and women are separate beings and have separate spheres of work and influence; that women are holier and more divine because they have part of their eternal powers now and their socialization to be kinder and more nurturing is part of their divine nature instead of a result of our cultures a societies that punish girls and women from deviating from this norm; that there are only two genders which are the presumed sexual ability from looking at their bodies at birth; that the ability to procreate is so holy that scientifically trying to alter the natural way it occurs is evil, except for when it is forcing intersex people to more closely fit into the only two genders; that Gd created some of His children unsuited for exaltation due to characteristics they cannot control and so if they choose to be lonely in this life they can be a ministering angel to others who were not born that way.

I hope everyone can reject that last statement as definitely not being of Gd and realize it the same idea that led to the Priesthood and Temple Ban for people of African descent. This similar belief is why I believe the Church hasn’t fully repented for the priesthood ban. Obviously there is a different faulty foundation than the role of men and woman in the eternities that supports the priesthood ban, but I am not writing about it today.

Back to the false foundation on the ideas of eternal polygamy, rejecting gay eternal marriage based on the idea that creation will look like it does here in the fallen world actually runs contrary to the command: “Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend.” (Mosiah 4:9) Christ was born without being conceived by sex, Adam and Eve were created without sex, and John the Baptist taught “that Gd is able of these stones to raise children unto Abraham” (Matthew 3:9 or Luke 3:8) , and modern day science is also almost at the point where cis lesbians could conceive and have a child without a sperm donor (but with the help of a lab). Believing that the power of creation is more limited than our scientific ability in ten years feels more heretical than believing that women are not tools for men to use to achieve their exaltation.

As for the other false teachings, I have experienced how dehumanizing it is to be treated as holier but not equal, I have seen the issues my mother had from devoting her life to be obedient to being a stay-at-home mother instead of tempering her child care responsibilities with her own interests and ambitions, I had a visiting teacher who could not go a conversation without mentioning her fertility issues because she felt so unholy and broken for her inability to have children due to these teachings, I have experienced gender dysphoria and the joy from doing something leaders in the Church would consider desecrating my holy vessel, and I have listened to LGB people to learn how sexuality isn’t a choice and thus was able to accept my own bisexuality as an innate part of me instead of satan tempting me to do evil. And above all, my husband and I only conceived and had a child after my legal transition via iui and so we have experienced creating life without cis-straight sex. All things in my life point to the fact that our loving Heavenly Father did not make a plan where His children will be unequal for all eternity.

However, I am not a prophet and so I don’t know how the Lord wishes for the Church to repent and when that repentance will actually begin. What I do know is that the idea that creation will emulate the unequal reproductive burden in the eternities is false and that Gd has already told His current prophets and apostles “to treat homosexuals the same as heterosexuals” to begin the process of undoing this false doctrine. Gd weeps for His daughters’ exclusion and that He is running His Church at half-revelation capacity. He is with you as you suffer the effects of this false doctrine and He will not stand for His will to be ignored forever. But our time scales are significantly smaller than His, all I can do is hope this change comes in my lifetime and pray for patience until it does.

[pennameless]

Avenday theatre AU where Aventurine is the male lead, Robin is the female lead, and Sunday is the pianist in the pit orchestra.

[This got a lot longer than I expected and it kind of transforms into a fic format but still very rambly. Should I revise and make a full fic?]

Robin starts spending a lot of time with Aventurine during and outside of rehearsals, so Sunday sees him more frequently. Sunday starts crushing on Aventurine but he's still in his repressed/denial/religious guilt phase. He pushes the feelings away for a while, but deep down he's fallen hard. For a bit he's jealous of his sister, thinking there's something going on between them, before Robin casually mentions that he's gay (which somehow Sunday didn't realize), and Sunday feels weirdly relieved and hopeful.

So during combined rehearsals, Sunday catches himself looking at Aventurine quite a few times, and Aventurine notices. At this time Sunday is kind of known for being really religious and lowkey homophobic, so Aventurine does not like him. At the same time, he's always had a little suspicion that Sunday was not as straight as he made himself out to be, and now he's very suspicious that Sunday might like him. Aventurine is intrigued; he can't deny Sunday's beauty, and this new development is too fascinating to not investigate.

During breaks in rehearsals, Aventurine starts taking every opportunity to flirt with/bother Sunday. Sunday is taken aback. He denies Aventurine each time, but he's really flustered and awful at hiding it. Aventurine notices and uses it, trying to unravel Sunday's good-Christian-boy facade and see what's underneath. Sunday's reactions to Aventurine's prodding are always a strange mix of frustration and excitement. It's getting harder and harder to ignore his feelings and he's terrified.

It's too much for Sunday to handle on his own, so one day, he sits Robin down and says he needs to tell her something. His voice shakes and he confesses that he's in love with a boy, that he hates himself for this sin and he's terrified for what it means. Robin is shocked. She wraps her brother in a tight hug and doesn't let go. Sunday can't control the tears running down his face. Robin tells him that it's not wrong, it's not a sin, and he's not a bad person. Sunday is surprised, because she grew up with the same religious teachings. What changed? They discuss it for a long time. Robin talks about her changed relationship with faith, and how she still believes but rejects the hateful version of religion that she grew up in. Sunday had never thought about that before; it was always "believe and don't question." With this epiphany, things begin unraveling and Sunday's perspective starts to change.

At the next rehearsal, Aventurine is annoying and flirty as usual, but now Sunday can see it for what it is. "Aventurine," he says one day as his arm is around Sunday's shoulder. "Are you mocking me?"

Aventurine's face changes immediately. "Of course not. What kind of jerk do you take me for?"

"So you're just playing with me. Got it." Sunday walks away, stone-faced, and Aventurine is left gaping, not sure why his heart is sinking.

Aventurine doesn't talk to Sunday for a few days, until it's the last dress rehearsal. During their intermission break, Aventurine pulls Sunday aside.

"What do you want?" he asks. Aventurine is wearing stage makeup, and his eyes are so beautiful. Sunday avoids looking at them.

Aventurine sighs. "I owe you an apology." Sunday looks up in surprise. "You're right. I was prodding you to see how you'd react. That wasn't cool of me."

Sunday doesn't know what to make of this. "I forgive you," he says. He looks Aventurine in the eyes, then looks away, nerves high.

"You sure? You really don't have to. I know I was being a total jerk." Sunday is silent. Is he- nervous? Aventurine stares right into his golden eyes and dares to lean a little closer. "Though, I must admit," he says so quietly it's practically a murmur, "I was wondering if... maybe I was right?"

Sunday's heart skips a beat and he meets Aventurine's eyes. "Right about what?"

They're really close now, and their eyes are locked. Sunday feels warm. Is Aventurine getting closer? What is he doing?

"Places!"

Sunday steps back and almost crashes into a rack of costumes. He looks at Aventurine in panic, but Aventurine gives a small smirk. "Later, Sunday," he says, voice dripping with honey. Sunday tries to calm his racing heart. What just happened?

It turns out that Robin witnessed their interaction, and on the way home from rehearsal, she asks, "So, Aventurine?" Sunday's heart leaps.

"What about him?" he asks, on guard. Robin shrugs and hums innocently. They drive in silence for a couple more seconds before Sunday cracks. "I don't know what to make of him, Robin. I mean, he's certainly just using me, right?"

"He's a big flirt, that's for sure. But... I think he's like you."

"Like me?"

"He acts far more confident than he really is. Puts up a facade and never gives away his hand, so to speak."

"I see."

Robin turns to face Sunday, who glances at her momentarily before returning his eyes to the road. She says, "I think he's gentler than he lets on. He masks his feelings with grandiose gestures, but he isn't cruel. At least, that's what it seems like to me."

Sunday hums in acknowledgment. "Perhaps."

And then it's opening night, and everything is a blur, but Sunday isn't nervous about the performance so much as what he plans to do after. See, he has an ace up his sleeve this time. He's throwing caution to the wind, ignoring the voice in his head that tells him no.

From the pit, Sunday hears the show more than sees it. His sister sings beautifully, and Aventurine is a natural performer, as always. As Sunday's fingers dance along the keys, his heart is full of contentment.

The curtains close and the applause is thunderous. The house lights come on and Sunday is the first out of the pit. His heart races, and he hides his hand behind his back as he scans the crowd for--

Aventurine, on the other side of the crowd, meets his eyes. Sunday shoves through until he's next to Aventurine.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Aventurine laughs. "You can try, but it's pretty loud in here."

"Then let's find a quiet place." Sunday grabs Aventurine's arm and pulls him out of the crowd.

"What's this about, Sunday?" Aventurine asks, befuddled. They reach an empty hallway, and Sunday reveals a bouquet of red roses.

His face goes pink. "These are for you. You performed beautifully, Aventurine. I wonder if..." he hesitates, then plunders on, "you would let me take you out to dinner?"

Aventurine is frozen, mouth agape, blinking slowly, and Sunday worries he's made a huge mistake. Aventurine's face has gone red, and he wordlessly extends a hand for the bouquet. He brings it to his face and smells the flowers.

"Sunday," he says, as if still in shock. He stares at the flowers in his hands, then at the boy in front of him. It feels like much more than he deserves.

"Please don't feel pressured to say yes if you're not interested," Sunday rambles, fidgeting with the hem of his coat.

Aventurine meets his eyes. "Why me?" he asks.

Sunday inhales deeply. "I... really like you, Aventurine. I'd like to get to know you better."

Aventurine can't detect any lies. He's still at a loss. He mindlessly sniffs the roses in his hands and stares at Sunday, who fidgets adorably.

"I- um. I mean, I guess-- I'd... like that," he finally replies, face heating up.

The grin on Sunday's face is blinding. "Okay," he says.

"Aventurine!"

Robin bursts through the door, fellow castmates lagging behind. "We've been looking everywhere for you! Come on, let's get pictures!" Then she notices the flowers in his hands and Sunday. She gives him a knowing smile and he grins nervously back. "Sorry to steal him," she says coyly to her brother, grabbing Aventurine's arm.

"I-- hey!"

Robin brings him back inside the theatre and Aventurine gives a shy little wave to Sunday.

Sunday feels like he could fly.

[ashecampos]

The ‘heart breaker’ and the ‘self centred’

Janis ‘Imi’ike x reader

Warnings : corse language, mention of past breakups. Enemies to lovers??maybe

(I’m so sorry if this is bad, I am currently high on pain and cold meds to try and get over this flu I have <3 also pls ignore how it switches from 1st to 3rd person so much)

You had heard the rumors about the infamous north shore high, everyone had. Little did you know, you would soon be apart of one of these rumors.

Moving schools was not on your list for the things you expected from the year. You had officially been expelled from your last school due to an incident that was not at all your fault. Now all you had to do was survive senior year at a new school where you only knew two people, one being your best friend, the other being a person you hated with your entire being. Janis ‘Imi’ike.

You and Janis go way back. Like as in third grade. You hated her and she hated you, end of story. Or was it?

It was now Sunday night, you and your best friend Tessa are on FaceTime and she is getting you up to speed with the north shore gossip.

“Soo Regina and the plastics aren’t bitches anymore, everyone is friends like in middle school and there isn’t much drama. Got it?” She says finishing her rant. A pen and paper in her hand with a map of all the drama you had missed on it.

“Mh everyone is queer, no drama, Janis still hates me, Regina isn’t a mega bitch, you and Aaron are fucking and me now starting fresh at your school totally isn’t going to cause any drama at all. Gotcha” I say while grabbing more paint from a shelf at the store. She nods silently then going on another rant about how Aaron and Shane are going to make a group chat with everyone im going to meet tomorrow in it, I nod while walking around. Until I bump into someone, their notepad nearly dropping to the floor but i managed to catch it somehow. Apologising profusely i look the person in the eye and my heart stops, blood running cold. Not even a foot away stands Janis ‘Imi’ike in all her glory. I stand there for a few seconds, the notepad held out for her to take but it seems that she is having the same reaction to this awfully awkward situation. She takes a second to scoff before grabbing the notepad and walking past, our shoulders brushing past each other “since when did you move back to Evanston?”she mutters before vanishing to the next isle. What the fuck.? Of all people you could’ve ran into it had to be her didn’t it? You thought “you did not just literally bump into she who shan’t be named” Tessa interrupts your thoughts to only add onto the embarrassment your feeling. “Shut the fuck up tess” i say as the girl on the other end of the call is in the middle of a laughing fit. I speed walk to the cash register and pay for my supplies before practically sprinting home. Anything to get away from Janis before I have to put up with her for the rest of the school year.

The night went quicker than I’d like to admit, I painted a little, lost track of time and ended up dozing off with my head on my desk. The next day came and I now stand in my closet, Tessa stood with me looking for the appropriate outfit that doesn’t scream ‘I got suspended from my last school and I don’t want to be at this school’. “Hm how about this” she picks up a pink shirt earning a disgusted look from me. She groans putting the T-shirt back and sitting on my bed and shrugging “just wear a band tee or something” she says. “Just wear a band tee or something” I mock while grabbing some baggy jeans from my closet, I scan my shirts before smirking and grabbing a button up shirt and a vest. “Gay” Tessa shouts at me, laughing and pointing at my doc martens “wear those” she says with a smirk.

The thing is me and Tessa are polar opposites, shes the most girly girl you will ever meet. Whereas I look like I just stepped out of a hot topic store. She was apart of the plastics before project ‘destroy queen bee’ was put into motion. She had stated many times how much she despised what Cady done to Regina. And even though I wasn’t apart of the school or had no reason to know the drama or what went down, oh she kept me updated. I even went to see Regina after she was hit by the bus. Which got me an one way ticket to Regina’s good side. You see being friends with Tessa can be a struggle seeming that she is the popular it girl, or the girl next door per say, however o wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Oi y/n/n Shane is making the group chat now, then we are going to meet up with everyone at the front of the school”

Moments after she said that my phone vibrates, I look at it while changing into my jeans.

*Shane Oman added you into ‘norths-whores hottest’ groupchat* I laugh a little at the name, so does Tessa as she starts typing away.

(NORTH-WHORES HOTTEST)

Tessi 🪽: “hey bitches!! ready to meet north shores newest hottie?”

(8am)

Reginald 💁‍♀️ : “as long as it doesn’t cause me to get hit with a bus this time”

Kay-dee ✨ : “I told you I was sorry for that reg”

Karen 💁🏽‍♀️ : “wait we have a new kid?”

Gretch 🪬: “yeah Tessa’s mysterious best friend is transferring because they got suspended from their last school”

Y/n/n 🌺: “should I be concerned how much you already know about me? Also hey guys”

Shane💪🏽: “don’t worry it’s her thing”

Reginald 💁‍♀️ : “well then congratulations and welcomes are in order, speaking of orders what coffees does everyone want im making a pitstop at Starbucks”

Gretch💁🏽‍♀️ : “ooo I’ll have a Strawberry Acai Refresher and Karen will have a hot coco, thanks babe”

Shane💪🏽 : “caramel latte thx Reggie”

Tessi🪽: “hot coco for me too babe”

“Oh and y/n/n said they will have a iced chai with oat milk and brown sugar syrup and they said thankyou”

*Reginald 💁‍♀️liked tessi’s🪽message*

You where now driving both you and Tessa to the school, your palms where beyond sweaty and you felt the lump in your throat grow worse the closer you got to the school. Tessa was sat in the passenger seat belting out show tunes, as you guys did every day in the car. It was settling your nerves a little as you clutched the steering wheel, keeping your eyes on the road.

You pull up to the school with Tessa’s help as she directs you to where the parking lot is then directs you where to park. You see Regina’s pink jeep and Shane’s black Tesla parked next to each other so you park next to Shane upon Tessa’s request. The two of you get out of the car, simultaneously grabbing your bags and linking arms, you softly nudge her and put your sunglasses on, sniggering slightly “hey, we’re gonna rule the school” you say quoting grease like you do every year “hm yeah and how’s that went the past ten years you’ve said that?” She nudges you back cocking one of her brows “okay rude, but in my defence we haven’t been in the same school the past four years” you point at her “well let’s make this one count” she says before waving at a group who you recognise to be the infamous plastics and shane.

“Soo you must be y/n, god Tessa wasn’t lying your banging” Shane comes over, his hand outstretched for you to take, you press you hand against his and hug him, eventually letting go of the hug, he hands you your drink while another set of arms wrap around your torso making you laugh “hey Karen, I missed you too” you laugh hugging her with one arm while you hold your cup in the other. She looks up adorable as ever and smiles widely, seconds later her face drops “OH MY GOD YOU GOT A MULLET” she screams, pulling away, almost knocking your drink out of your hand, you laugh even harder as she runs her fingers through your hair, admiring the shaven sides of your head. “You like?” You say, she nods before unhanding you, she turns to another girl who you assume to be Karen’s girlfriend, Gretchen, the girl is pretty, clad in an academic fitting outfit, a plaid beige skirt and a white turtleneck, she was one of the prettiest girls here, she smiles at you, giving you a simple nod. You walk over and hug her, you then turn to Regina who practically tackles you in a hug. “Who’d you fight to get expelled this time?” She whispers into your ear making you smirk “legally I can’t say but don’t worry they got what they deserved” you say as you hug her back. She slaps your shoulder and gives you a stern look “no more fighting or I will make your life a living hell” she smirks back at you.

After a brief catchup you head to the principals office to grab your paper work and schedule which was only a quick pitstop due to the fact that you had been there yesterday to hand all your paperwork over to secure your place at the school. Once you got your schedule you went straight to home room which was your first class of the day, looking down at your schedule, you walk straight into the back of someone. “Dude watch where your- oh you have got to be fucking with me now” the person says just as you open your mouth to apologise.

There in front of you stands an angered Janis ‘Imi’ike, her face drops seeing you for a second time this week. She rolls her eyes “are you following me or some shit?” She says, earning an eye roll from you “oh ku'uipo, don’t flatter yourself, my world doesn’t revolve around you” you say while walking around the girl and into your home room class, she stays stood in the doorway for another moment seeming to be frozen in place before she snaps out of whatever trance you had managed to put her in and she then walks inside the room, taking the last available seat, the one in front of you. Just before she sits herself down you manage to catch a glimpse of her face, red with a bit of a flustered expression. You grin a little acknowledging the fact you still had that affect on her after so many years.

Home room drags, the teacher is sweet though, she introduces you to everyone and proudly embarrasses you by telling the class you won the state art competition last fall which in turn earns a look from Janis who’s eyes have never left you since the teacher pulled you to the front of the class. As soon as the bell chimes your out of there having endured enough embarrassment for one person to handle. You make it your mission to get out before Janis can. I then go looking for my next class. Chemistry. You walk in expecting to be in a class full of randos but to your surprise and dismay you walk into the class to find the class full of your newfound friend group and Janis. Of course. The teacher strides in pointing at the whiteboard where a seating chart is etched into. You look for your name as the rest of your group goes and sits down, you smirk a little when you see that you are all on one table. Not bothering to look who else is on the table you go sit without hesitation. “So how was everyone’s first class?” You start, everyone groans seeming to already be put off only an hour into the week. “Oh I have some gossip for ya..oh hey Janis” Gretchen says which makes your face drop. You whip your head around praying it’s not the Janis you think it is, yet there she stands. All colour drains from your face, you look at Tessa for help but she is too busy trying not to die of laughter. Regina seems to have a similar reaction to yours with the girl being at the same table. And yet again much to your dismay the girl sits next to you, slamming her book down and looking at the front of the class toward the teacher. “Hello students, my name is Mr Jenkin and im your chemistry teacher. So seeming that we are in chemistry I like to have all the students on the same tables to have a lot of chemistry. Today’s class revolves around getting to know your groups. So one person from each table grab a deck and we shall play charades” the teacher says as he throws like seven decks of small card on his desk with a smile. Oh now this one is cute, he seems a little too nice for his own good, especially in this school.

Regina takes it upon herself to go grab the cards, taking the rubber band off of them and flicking it at Tessa who flips her off with a laugh. “I guess I’ll start then” she says reading the first card. She snickers a little before looking around the table and pointing at Aaron. “Boy?” He says straight away, Regina then shakes her head but stops and waves her hand around to say that he was right but she needs another word. She then points at her head earning a few weird looks from the table, it took me a few seconds to click on but I quickly realised what she was getting at “boy genius” I mutter quietly not being too sure on if I was right but she smiles and nods, holding her arm out to make me stand up as she hands me the cards. “Who’s boy genius?” Karen says with a big smile “an amazing band” both me and Janis say in sync earning a look from everyone in the group, I look at Janis before looking down at the card that says ‘love’ I roll my eyes and groan a little, I put my hand over my heart looking around the group to see if anyone will click on “heart?” Tessa says first, I shake my head and another idea pops into my head, I make a heart with my hands while looking around again. “Heartbreaker?” Janis mutters, earning looks from the group again, I sigh and shake my head before Tessa swoops in and says “love” which o nod to. She grins and gets up, allowing me to sit back down. A few more rounds go by and it is now Janis’ turn. She stands up brushing by me and picks the cards off of the table, she looks down for a few seconds before she points at herself making me snigger again. “Self centered?” I say proudly earning a slap from Tessa who scolds me silently. Janis snaps back “don’t make me tell your new little friends who you really are because believe me I will” she stares into my soul, my fists clenching under the table, I take a deep breath before shaking my head and grabbing my bag and leaving, hearing the group calling after me and Tessa saying “seriously Janis is there any need? She didn’t mean what happened” the teacher then calls after me before asking what everyone on the table what the hell happened. Tessa thankfully made and excuse as Janis also left the classroom.

I end up in the bathroom, slamming my fist against the wall of one of the stalls. Before wincing in pain instantly. I throw my bag and slide down the wall so I am sat down with my knees to my chest. The door to the bathroom then opens and in walks Janis. She sees me and walks over crouching down so she in face to face with me. She hesitates for a few seconds before placing her finger under my chin and making me look up at her. “Hey breathe for me yeah?” She says in a calm, knowing tone. My breath hitches a little before it picks itself up again, I struggle to breathe earning a concerned look. She tries talking to me again but it falls on death ears. I look around the bathroom frantically trying to find something to help myself, then out of the blue I feel a pair of lips on my own. Her lips. The lips that had been tormenting my dreams for the past five years. She pulls away after a few moments which felt like a lifetime. She looks at me before assuringly repeating what she said before “im sorry for what I said. I know it wasn’t your fault, im just still not over it..over us” she looks down before going to stand up, I quickly use my uninjured hand to pull her back into me, we share another kiss until the bathroom door swings open. Revealing the whole friend group.

[elvensorceress]

sunday sentences

tagged by @hippolotamus @alyxmastershipper @monsterrae1 @disasterbuckdiaz @wikiangela @messyhairdiaz @giddyupbuck no pressure tagging if you have something and want to share 💕 @spotsandsocks @shortsighted-owl @mysteriouslyyounggalaxy @shitouttabuck @cowboy-buddie @bekkachaos @bigassdiaz @heartshapedvows @ebdaydreamer @wildlife4life @theotherluciferr @transbuck @butchdiaz @911onabc @spaceprincessem 💕 It's been soooo long idk who has done this and who hasn't, but some lovely people tagged me and I have a random thing to share? I have no idea what it is yet, but here, you can has.

“Hen,” he says very slowly and patiently so she doesn’t get the wrong idea. “I’m not gay.” 

“Eddie,” she says with a barely contained edge of exasperation that can only be perfected by someone who deals with very young children or a stream of incompetent, rude, bigoted, ignorant assholes on a regular basis. “Liking men doesn’t automatically mean ‘gay.’ There’s infinite variation between ‘gay’ and ‘straight.’ It’s not an ‘either/or’ situation. Sexuality is complex, multilayered. Gender identity is the same way. People don’t fit in neat categories.”

Eddie lets out a sigh that is almost as agitated as he is, and he tries very hard not to roll his eyes. No one wants to be on the end of an annoyed, grumpy Hen. “I’m not bi either. I’m not being—” When he tries to think of a word to describe what he’s trying to describe, and comes up with nothing. His mind is blank. Zero. Run dry. Wiped clean of everything. Much like the whole of his love life or sexuality or whatever they’re going to call it. He settles for, “Like that. I’m not homophobic. I love you. And Karen. And I don’t— There’s nothing wrong with it. I don’t think there is. I don’t have a problem with anyone being gay or whatever else. I’m just not— I’m not. Queer. That’s not me. I’m not—”

His breath stops and his words fail and he’s pretty sure his hands and fingers go numb. Somewhere across the station, Buck laughs. He’s laughing. In a bright, joyous, throw your head back and burst with happiness from the depths of your whole heart and soul. Because Buck is like that. He’s glowing, wonderful, pure sunshine and warmth. 

And Eddie knows his voice. Eddie knows his laugh. 

Eddie knows his smile and his warmth and his endless loyalty and devotion so well that it makes his own chest tighten. 

How can anyone breathe properly in the face of something so magnificent? How can anyone’s heart not rush after hearing him, watching him, knowing him? 

It’s normal. There’s nothing extraordinary about it. Buck is extraordinary but this isn’t extraordinary. If you watched a vivid sunset or held a sleeping child or ate your favorite meal or heard your favorite song or somehow found peace, contentment, reprieve from loneliness— it’s only reasonable that you’d get a flood of happy chemicals through your body that make you feel pleasant. 

That’s all it is. There’s nothing more to it. 

Eddie swallows hard and his skin prickles electric danger in the air all around him. “I can’t be. It’s not that— I’m not being— I’m just not. That. I can’t be that.” 

Hen’s gaze narrows like she’s diagnosing problems and wow, does Eddie need their shift to be over immediately. Why has it only barely started. She tips her head, looks at him sideways, looks elsewhere in the station like maybe in the direction of Buck and his laugh and his happiness and life-giving sunshine. “You can’t be that,” she says still without looking at him, like it’s not a question and she’s not expecting an answer, and there are alarms in his head and knots in his stomach and neon warning lights everywhere. 

That’s right. He can’t be that. He can’t be and he’s not, and it has nothing to do with sexuality or orientation or homophobia or fucked up expectations for someone of a certain gender. 

And Hen of course zeros in on that. “You can’t be queer,” she says again like it’s so simple and easy and fragile and why does it feel thinner than ice in 120° Los Angeles summer? “Because then you could be in love with Buck.”

Is it hot in here? Of course it’s hot in here. It’s far too hot and Eddie has on too many layers. Not that he wants to take off anything because Buck — and Chimney but Chim isn’t the whole fucking issue here — bounds up the stairs and over to the sofas where Eddie and Hen were drinking coffee and not discussing anything. They weren’t talking and there were no comments or incriminating accusations made. Buck plops himself right next to Eddie (because why wouldn’t he) and then launches into a story, something Chim had been telling him about Jee-Yun and Maddie and bubble soap, and Buck is beaming and clearly trying not to get too animated or bouncy with his wild gestures and reenactments. 

But maybe that’s only clear to Eddie. Because he knows how Buck gets when he’s excited and how he tries to hold himself back and it makes tension wind through his back and shoulders and thighs—

And Eddie is not thinking about Buck’s thighs. 

Eddie is not looking at Buck at all. 

No one can look directly at the sun. They’ll only be burned. They’ll only be blinded. 

It would only ruin everything. 

But there’s warmth next to Eddie. Enough that his skin is too cold, too icy, and his heart is too frozen, and of course none of Eddie dating ever works and of course Eddie never feels anything. There may be faraway stars but his universe spins around and pulls him into the sun. There’s only one sun. There’s only one Buck. 

He smells like coconut and vanilla. Sweetness and softness that’s rare and rich and decadent. They’re not even touching but he’s so close, they could. If they wanted. 

If he wanted, he could touch. If he wanted, he could pull Buck into his arms and kiss him and Eddie could love him the way he should be and Eddie would never let him feel undeserving or like he isn’t enough and Eddie wouldn’t let go of him for a single moment.

Eddie can’t think like that. He can’t because he’s not into anyone, never will be into anyone, and that’s the end of it. 

He’s not in love with Buck. He can’t be. It’s impossible. 

Buck laughs again as he finishes his story and immediately turns to Eddie with his big blue eyes and his bright smile and his effusive personality. 

Eddie smiles back, he tries to but knows it’s weak and that anyone could see through it. But Buck especially will be able to. So, Eddie does what he does best. 

He gets up and runs. 

[mooncello]

Lloyd swings his electric gaze to me, pointing at me and then at Cole. “In the meantime, you two—figure out whatever the hell is going on between you.”

I straighten in my chair and blush under the stares of five pairs of eyes. (Okay, four. Cole is fixated on his hands.)

“Lloyd is right,” Jay adds, looking between us with some interest. “The vibe in the house has been weird for over a week.”

“Which is annoying, but not critical,” Lloyd says. His tone tilts into lecture mode, and I use all my self-control to not roll my eyes. “It becomes a problem when it starts to affect missions.”

Lloyd folds his arms across his chest. “Kai and Cole: you did not work together yesterday. You didn’t listen or cooperate. You were distracted from the task. And the bridge we spent all afternoon repairing needs to be fixed—again.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Cole shift uncomfortably.

“Yes, dad,” I mutter sarcastically.

Lloyd ignores it and sends me a stern glare. “Figure it out.”

“What is going on anyway?” Jay asks, tone teasing and jocular. He snickers. “You both like the same girl?”

“Dude…I’m gay,” Cole says. Almost wearily. Like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and how do we not know this already.

The room expands with silence for one long suspended moment. Then Jay reaches over to clap Cole on the shoulder with an embarrassed laugh. “Oh, hey! That’s…that’s awesome, man. Uh—why didn’t you tell us before?”

“Cole does not owe anybody that information, Jay,” Zane says. “He gets to choose when and with whom to share.”

“Thanks, man,” Cole says quietly. “Also, none of you ever asked.”

I’m staring at Cole, my brain humming at his statement. I’m not surprised, I don’t think. (Am I surprised?) But maybe that’s because I’ve been fantasizing about him for the past week, and it’s all been…very, very gay.

Cole doesn’t appear distressed at his clearly unplanned coming out. He doesn’t look mad or even relieved, just…matter of fact. Like he just told us his eyes are brown, or he likes rock music and cake and restoring gardens. It’s just…who he is, and—he’s totally right—none of us noticed or asked about it.

We never fucking noticed.

it's sunday night, so a new chapter is up!

[justlarkin]

Look, no offense whatsoever, but please don't use this game as a reference of Christians, Catholics, Jewishs, and all those who believe in God.

There's not such a thing, as a good Christian or a bad Christian, you are either devoted to God and his teachings or you are not.

Two, Satan, he is not this savior of all freedom for mankind, be careful. He seeks to kill and destroy. Sure, if you listen to him, you can do whatever you want and not feel guilty about it... but the reality is, that there's a big price to pay. This game twisted the truth to make a "teaching of freedom and not be tied down to any faith." When in reality, people do need boundaries.

Thats why the Lord knows best. He doesn't want to subjugate us, He wants us to be free of sin. God forbids many things, because He knows that those things we find pleasure will destroy us eventually.

You don't need to post this if you don't want to. You can even ignore it. But please, don't misunderstand the truth of our faith because of some game. Because its just that.

No offense taken. I think I should clarify your main concern: yeah, of course the real Satan is bad. I'm just talking about a game here. I was raised Christian, I already get what his whole thing is.

I really don't think anyone here, myself included, genuinely believes that the real Satan is the good guy because a game said so. I'm talking strictly talking about the game's adaptation when I say anything praiseworthy of him because that's how he's portrayed to the reader. Even then, I've already made older posts talking about he's probably not that good in the game itself too with the inclusion of Mephistopheles, traits from Iblis, and the themes from Paradise Lost, showing this most likely isn't a total rewrite of him.

And I absolutely agree! I didn't elaborate, but that's what I meant when I said Shaytan was flawed in the original post. His game version seems like he'd be "perfect" to worship in comparison to the other WRs since he's portrayed as "caring" for everyone and due to the freedom he gives, but there's obviously flaws in his ideology since, like you said, people do need boundaries.

Of course, there isn't a real good Christian or bad Christian when it comes to the religion itself since devotion to the Lord is what matters, but there is still undeniably debate around it, which is why I clarified it as such. It's not about how God would view people, but how non participants and Christians view other Christians. Conversations like "why is that gay guy who worships the Lord and is on the straight and narrow considered a sinner while that other guy who cheats on his wife constantly and steals isn't?" or "Why do Christians treat those who believe different faiths poorly or judge others who worship the same God, but a little differently than they do when they're supposed to love thy neighbor?" or "That person doesn't follow the Bible word for word and go to church every Sunday, so they're not a true believer". It's just about how humanity views each other.

Maybe it's more accurate to say "Christians who give a good reputation and Christians who give a bad reputation to Christianity" because regardless of how God views it, outsiders of the faith are more likely to like a Christian who uses the Lord's teachings to spread positivity than the ones who use it spread negativity and hate ://

Nobody is misunderstanding anything. It's just discussion about a game that has rewritten history, multiple religions, stories, and mythologies to give them a little spin. I'm on here every week talking about how all these figures are actually making out sloppy style or something else as equally silly because the game portrays those ideas, not because I genuinely believe their real counterparts are doing so. Don't take what I'm saying seriously lol. It's not that deep.

[neros-very-first-fiddle]

BEE’S TOP 20 BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER EPISODES EVER:

20. S4 E1, The Freshman

Sunday and her gang are just so much fun to watch. I wish there were more fun vampire stoner-types in the show. I love the whole college allegory with Giles leaving Buffy to figure things out on her own. especially showing how she goes from being scared to realizing she does actually have the power to survive without an adult watching over her. Also I think about the klimt poster game every time I see a college dorm now.

19. S1 E9, The Puppet Show

The first (and only?) Buffy episode to ever genuinely scare me. I watched it late at night, alone in my room in the dark when no one else was awake. I don’t fuck with doll horror movies. The puppet skittering about Buffy’s room made me tremble. Also I just love anything theatre related and watching Giles very poorly do a magic circle was fun. And! Framing Snyder as a villain was such a good choice. And I think about him saying “I don’t get it” at the end of the ep a lot. Just really fun in general.

18. S1 E12, Prophecy Girl

“I may be dead, but I’m still pretty.” Her outfit is iconic. Her reaction to finding out she’s going to die is heartbreaking and realistic. I love that Xander is the one to revive her, forever cementing him as one of Buffy’s best friends and a crucial part of the gang.

17. S3 E20, The Prom

The class protector award will always make me tear up, like fuck. people in a town that actively ignores the horrors acknowledged that Buffy was keeping them safe from the horrors. she deserved that moment so much.

16. S3 E13, The Zeppo

I am a Xander apologist and I’m not afraid to say it. This episode is so fucking funny. I love getting to see what goes on in the background of every Buffy episode. I think it adds so much more to Xander’s character to know that he gets left out of the main plot and has his own wacky adventures that he doesn’t talk or brag about. He is the epitome of Just A Guy. He knows he isn’t like Buffy and the rest of the scoobies, but he also knows he can be just as brave as them. The moment where he’s in the basement and smiling about the bomb about to go off, “I like the quiet,” shakes me so much. Iconic.

15. S2 E6, Halloween

Ethan Rayne’s first appearance! I love how kitschy it feels. willow’s costume is gorgeous.

14. S6 E16, Hell’s Bells

Jesus fucking christ. The portrayal of dysfunctional families is just spot on. Anya looks stunning the entire time. Xander choosing to walk out because he loves Anya too much to even risk following in his family’s footsteps and abusing her is so heartbreakingly real. Is Xander in the wrong for ever letting their relationship get this far when he had doubts? ABSOLUTELY. Also the scene when Anya walks down the aisle crying makes me want to sob, it’s such a perfect shot. Ughh

13. S6 E8, Tabula Rasa

fun amnesia episode! I love seeing what’s inside the characters when they don’t remember anything about themselves. the loan shark bit is so stupid and funny. Giles and Spike having a father/son relationship is perfect. “RANDY GILES??!?? might as well call me desperate for a shag Giles.” also “a vampire with a soul? God, how lame is that?”

12. S4 E12, A New Man

This was the first Buffy episode I ever saw! Caught it on tv and fell in love. I remember watching willow and tara float the rose and thinking “gay.” Then I saw Giles and ethan laugh together over drinks after he, like pinned Ethan down in a crypt and I thought “gay.” And you know what, I was right on both fronts. Also spike crashing the car is so funny.

11. S2 E7, Lie To Me

Everyone talks about wanting to see more of ford, and we get to see more of the main girl, but all I want is Diego/marvin content. I love his stupid sparkly blue cape. I also love how Buffy reacts to finding out ford has cancer; “I’ll kill you myself.” Being in a horrible situation doesn’t excuse the horrible crime you’re about to commit! He’s just a very well written character

10. S7 E15, Get It Done

After watching this, I had to lie down for a moment because it was so much and I cried (which I rarely do with tv shows). The origins of the slayer just fucking wrecked me. The first slayer was just a girl who was violated and used.

9. S2 E22, Becoming pt. 2

Genuinely just one of the best season finales of all time. They perfectly took away everything Buffy had and brought her to the point of no return. The part when Angel asks her “what’s left?” before attempting to stab her with the sword, but Buffy shuts her eyes and perfectly catches it and says “me” is the most breathtaking, iconic scene ever. Gut wrenching and absolutely devastating.

8. S7 E7, Conversations With Dead People

Willow’s conversation with Cassie is so jarring. Buffy’s conversation is so so great and fun. Also “mommy’s milk is red today” is such an INSANE thing to write.

7. S2 E19, I Only Have Eyes For You

I love the concept that a haunting is just a house re-enacting a terrible night over and over again to try and understand what happened to it. This is extremely similar. Just a guy replaying his greatest and final mistake in an attempt to gain forgiveness, to somehow make everything turn out all right because he can’t live or die with that guilt. And the connection to Buffy and Angel’s relationship is just the cherry on top.

6. S2 E17, Passion

I’m a sucker for Angel’s monologue in this one. The scene where he kills Jenny is just, so. Her death perfectly shows how serious things have gotten. All the fun and games are over. Having Giles find her in his bed is absolutely sickening, but I love how they set up the fact that Giles has never seen Angel’s letters until then, he isn’t aware that’s the paper and handwriting from Angel and not Jenny. Also the shot where Willow and Buffy find out that she’s dead is great. I love that we see it from outside the house, looking in.

5. S4 E10, Hush

Astonishing that one of the greatest episodes has extremely little dialogue. the end from Riley’s perspective is just that his girlfriend screamed and the heads of these demons exploded… did he think she had like a banshee scream ability?? I would’ve. Giles’ drawings are so fun

4. S5 E7, Fool for Love

“I’ve always been bad” -jump cut to spike writing bad poetry. I love the little detail that Halfrek was the girl who turned down spike in 1880. The entire subway scene is perfect. Every slayer has a death wish. Buffy saying “you’re beneath me” is so perfectly cruel, and throwing the money is too. the end with spike going to kill Buffy then seeing her upset and comforting her is just a perfect picture of their entire relationship.

3. S4 E22, Restless

“Props?” “No.” “Props?” “YES!” Death of a salesman should have a cowboy in it, actually. Spike selling himself out as an attraction is so believable. like yeah, he would love to be photographed all the time by admirers.

2. S5 E16, The Body

One of the best portrayals of grief I’ve ever seen.

1. S6 E7, Once More With Feeling

Duh. I rewatch this episode A LOT. Anya and Xander’s song gets stuck in my head pretty regularly. I listen to the music on spotify. Hinton Battle kills. I recently watched this with my friend who does ballet and she said Dawn’s dance was really good! BROADWAY LEGEND HINTON BATTLE!!! Spike and Buffy’s kiss at the end is so perfectly built up and executed. Just an absolute masterpiece.

[lover-of-mine]

You don't have to answer this question at all if it's too personal . I won't feel bad. I'm just trying to get an idea of what to expect. I'm agnostic and wasn't raised in any religion. I don't even know really anyone who practices Catholicism. The only thing I can interpret from my friends who are Christian is its definitely, harsher??? Values ingrained in them. I was wondering if you were raised religious and had to battle being queer vs any pre conceived notions you held or your family may have. I swear you said something once about Nuns crossing themselves when they passed you for having colored hair? Sorry if I'm wrong on that. I just feel like if they are doing this they are really doing it and what a story of deconstructing yourself might look like.

Okay, this is a complicated question. I was raised religious and for all intents and purposes, I still am, but while I am christian, I was never catholic. I was raised with spiritism as a belief and they are a lot more open to stuff than different churches. The experience I had with catholic people telling me stuff like being queer is wrong was in school, because my city is very catholic and because we had a religious study class that was mandatory and the teacher was very Sunday school type vibes even though it wasn't supposed to be a catholic leaning class, but at that point I was old enough to push back, so I was constantly fighting my teacher. I'm not out to my family because while my parents never had a problem with queer people, my dad has made some comments about bisexual people that make me scared even tho they weren't fully bigoted, it's just boomer talk, being ignorant, and, honestly, I think he knows and he's waiting for me to say something because there was a situation with one of my cousins a few years back that got me really heated because her side of the family is very religious, and she's some shade of queer and people kept using religion against her, and my dad suddenly started talking about acceptance and stuff like that while supporting how frustrated I was with my uncle, but honestly, at this point I'm kinda settled into only coming out to them if there's a girl I want them to meet. I did go to university in a very religious city and I had to deal with multiple people commenting on my appearance, specifically colorful hair, the nun thing did happen, I had blue hair and I was wearing a shirt that had a cross made of skulls, they didn't like that, but I've had people tell I'm not getting into heaven and my sin was pink hair. I can't really help with this particular aspect because my struggle with being bi was never about someone telling me that loving women is wrong, it was always I do like men, so I just thought people felt that way about everybody. I fully kissed another girl and didn't accept I was bi until like, 3 years later lol. I will say that catholicism as a whole is very engrained into latino culture, and I did experience that adjacently, the whole being gay is a sin thing, but since in my house I didn't have that, I pushed back, I pushed back enough that my whole school believed I was a lesbian by the time I hit highschool (I grew up in a small town, everyone knows everyone)

Now, applying the whole thing to Eddie, I think with the way that Eddie talks about religious pressure defining some steps he took with his life, deconstructing his relationship with religion and the concept of God would be important for him to fully accept himself if that's where they're going. Mostly because I think he needs to confront the way he views the works and when you grow up religious, it does affect the way you look at things even if you don't believe that religion anymore. But I don't think I can give anything more insightful given the way I don't know how it feels like to experience catholicism the way Eddie does. I do believe that Eddie finding himself does mean Eddie accepting he is some shade of queer, and since they touched on the whole catholic guilt last season, that's a good way to force him to accept that there's nothing wrong with him, but it's more about the way I watched people go through similar stuff, not any personal experience.

[diogenescynic2288]

Sunday Sermon 2: On Laws

Happy Sunday to all again. I am once again writing to you as Pope Orion Orangutan Omnibenevolence Kosmos Yes or POOKY.

So, the last sermon I delivered might have seemed to offer instruction, advice, or command in regards to chilling and maybe being nice. That was not my intent. It was at most, a suggestion. I am not an Enlightened One. I'm not more in touch with the Divine than anyone else.

While I'm writing these, I do invoke my Discordian Pope title. That does not make me an authority. I took the expensive route to Discordian Papacy: I bought a ten dollar used copy of the Steve Jackson Games printing of the Principia Discordia and then made a fifteen cent photocopy at FedEx Kinkos of the page with the Be Your Own Pope card. That does not elevate me above anyone else. All who decide to join the Golden Apple Corps of Eris are equally in the Discordian Papacy.

I'll own up to a thing: back when I was in late high school or my year of college, I came to identify with the label of anarchism or libertarianism coming to it from left-leaning reasons. For instance, at that time, gay marriage was a controversial issue and not yet legal across the United States of America, and I had a simple stupid solution: marriage is no longer a legal status for anyone straight or gay, the government just doesn't do marriage anymore. Marriage equality achieved.

Anyway, as a budding anarchist, attempting to have a consistent moral philosophy of life, I started thinking about Christianity, particularly the church my parents had been raising me in. If top down authority and distinctions of station are evils when talking about the world of human politics, are they any less so when applied to religion? Long story short, maybe God exists, but he's a tyrant and All Clergy Are Bastards.

Today's reading is from The Gospel of Mary Magdalene I'm drawing my wording from The Essential Gnostic Gospels translated by Alan Jacobs published by Watkins 2009:

Then Jesus greeted them saying, “Peace be with you all.

Take my peace into your Selves; be watchful so nobody leads

you astray claiming “Look there, look here for the son of man.”

I tell you that the son of man is within you all!

Seek him inside; those who search diligently

and earnestly shall surely find him.

Then leave and preach the truth of the Kingdom

to those with ears to hear;

don't invent rules beyond those I've given.

Don't make laws like law-makers do

or else you'll be held back.”

After he had said this he left.

[I'm skipping a bit to get to the next part I want to quote]

Mary answered, “What's concealed from you I'll tell;

I saw him in a vision and I told him.

He said, “Blessed are you that your strength

wasn't shaken by my appearance,

for where the heart is lies buried treasure.”

[another skip still Mary talking]

When my soul had conquered ignorance it rose up

and saw the fourth power, which assumes seven forms.

The first is darkness, the second desire, then ignorance,

fear of death, power of the flesh, foolish reason,

and self-righteous pedantry.

These are the powers of anger and doubt; they ask,

“From where did you come, killer of men;

where are you heading, slayer of space?”

My soul replied, “What bound me is dead,

what enveloped me has been vanquished;

my desires are over and ignorance is no more.

In this life I was freed from the world

and the chains of forgetfulness.

From now on I will rest in the eternal now;

for this age, this aeon, and in stillness.”

So today's lesson from POOKY is: Yeshua and Miriam also say no laws, free yourself from ignorance and pedantry.

Good Day of the Sun unto you all.

[derpylittlenico]

the following brought to you by Shower Thoughts tm tm tm

a "whump but not actually" not-fic? fic idea? whatever.

...

ok, so.

we know stiles is a pending accident on long legs. this isn't a secret.

but what if some member of the pack (maybe a mother henning Scott? or curious Allison? hell, maybe goddamn Isaac being a nosy bitch) accidentally catches a glimpse of a shirtless Stiles, and. just. bruises. bruises all over. from nip to goddamn hip.

cue...whoever...losing their shit via mass text to everyone else in the pack, because??? je m'fuhkin escuse? thu fucc??

I mean they are understandably Worried, bc those are so not lacrosse bruises. they would have seen that shit happen, and definitely heard about it too, because Stiles is unafraid to whine loudly, at great volume...well, unless he's actually hurt. so the fact that he's said nothing?

they are totally having guilt spirals, wondering is Grumpy Brows was right about wolves being too rough to be safe around humans, and is that why didn't he say anything??? bc he's spiteful and didn't want have to admit maybe Derek was right? bc omg, he'd totally not mention deep tissue bruising just to spite Derek.

(cue lots of Scott hand wringing and worried frowns. maybe even Derek staring melodramatically out of windows too dusty for even him to see out of bc he's Like That)

only?

......yeah, no, that's not what's going on, at all.

bc, see, Stiles is friends with the ladies from the Jungle. They are his best bitches, and he's learned not to bitch about a few minor bruises after hanging around people who routinely put on staggeringly tight compression tights and five inch high heels. Never mind the plucking and waxing.

It only took one Amateur Drag Night for him to learn to "suck it up, buttercup."

but anyway. they are his besties from other people's testes, and so drag his happy ass into shenanigans as often as possible.

...which includes pole classes at the local rec center, Thurs afternoons and every other Sunday evening.

and yeah, the bribe of free food following a two hour Lady Guhgah boogy sesh in short shorts is a nice bribe, but he doesn't really need to be bribed to hang out with them. They're a fuhkin blast to hang out with, and have some Stories.

(and also don't ignore him when he asks if they think he could be attractive to gay guys)

and ofc, though he only came for the good music and better company, he'd still put his entire ass into it and get really good at it. bc, as the queens have taught him, if he's not serving absolute cunt when the opportunity arises, why even bother.

but before all that, while he's still learning?

he'd bruise.

a lot. like? a lot a lot a lot.

bc the thing tv and movies don't tell you about pole dancing is that part of the trick is training your skin to kinda...stick? suction on? to the pole like Cameron Diaz stuck to the car windshield in That One Scene in The Counselor.

(but he doesn't talk about that movie. or that scene. bc some things just need to be forgotten.)

tl, dr?

in those early days, while he was still clenching more than clinging, in between getting dumped on his dump-truck, he admittedly looks like he's been PvPing the Hulk for funsies. Or picking fights with Creepy Grandpa Argent. Or just, like, generally slamming himself into walls.

so yeah.

"whump but not," bc the pack is scrambling to find a way to have an intervention over Stiles hiding injuries, bc he forgot to mention he and Jizz Taylor and Gloria Hole and Bicurious Georgia have decided to learn pole technique alongside Natalie Martin, a few bikers from the local biker bar, and Stiles' 55 yr old neighbor.

[neohart]

“We Should Just Kiss Like Real People Do”

Tags: Swearing, Bad Cowboy Lingo (as always), Slight (very slight) Implied/Referenced Religious Trauma (oh yeah)

Made for: @crispbeigepages

Enjoy more gay cowboys!!!

Lewis cleaned up the church, the sound of his broom sweeping against the wooden floor sounded out throughout the small building. Besides that, the old pastor sat in his office organizing papers and reading letters sent by the townsfolk. It was a completely normal day, if he had to say so.

It wasn’t until the sound of boots running towards the church doors that Lewis was brought out of his bored trance. As soon as the doors slammed open, a ginger man with toasted brown skin entered and panted heavily.

“P-Pardon me, pal! May I ask where the pastor is?”

Oh… That voice was unique.

Lewis simply pointed towards the office, watching as the other man nodded and walked up to the office. This man had to be new, Lewis knew everyone in town and this man wasn’t one of them. But, he wasn’t bad new, quite the opposite. He was tall, muscular, and his eyes were pretty-

No! Snap out of it Lewis. You shouldn’t think of a man that way, no matter how gorgeous he may seem. It was bad enough that the old pastor already thought of him odd for being ‘not a real man’ in his eyes. So it’s be worse if he fell in love with another man.

So, Lewis just continued to sweep, ignoring the talking between the pastor and the ginger as the minutes continued to tick down to nightfall.

—

It’s been a few days since Lewis saw that ginger and all seemed to be going well. He settled back into the routine of cleaning the church, keeping the graveyard tidy, and assisting the pastor with confessions and prayers. The only thing that seemed to deter that all was the fact that the undertaker couldn’t seem to get the man from a few days ago out of his head.

What was his name? Would he see him more often or was his visit to the church a one time thing? Would he ever get the chance to speak with him again?

All these questions plagued his mind as he, once again, found himself sweeping the church. It was a usual activity that Lewis found himself doing after service hours. He’d get up in the morning, prepare the church for Sunday Service, partake in said service, wish everyone a good evening, and then finally sweep the church of any dust and dirt.

It was normal and it was his escape.

However, today the pastor wasn’t there. He’d left early due to a family emergency so Lewis was left alone. No papers shuffling, no pacing of footsteps. Just him and the quiet. The setting sun shone through the windows as Lewis looked up at the stained glass window that depicted God. It hung over the altar like a framed photograph, reminding everyone who they worshipped.

Lewis frowned as he set the broom to the side, approaching the altar. He’d clasp his hands together and close his eyes, a silent prayer leaving his lips. As always, he asked for forgiveness from his thoughts. A mind that must be dealt with accordingly.

“Those sum purdy words there, pardner.”

Lewis flinched, turning around to be met with the ginger. He’d place a hand to his chest. “Ah… Thanks? The pastor ain’t here now so is there sumthin’ I can help ya with?”

“There ain’t” The man approached until he stood beside Lewis. “Just came to see the purdy blond boy who seems to be so hardworking for his duty.”

Lewis blinked, staring at the other. “P-Purdy?” He felt his cheeks heat up. Never had he ever been called pretty before, especially not by a man.

“Course. Yer tall, got a neat eye, and you seemed dedicated when I first saw ya… I’m Warren, by tha way. Warren Glass.” Warren stuck out his hand, giving a big grin.

“Lewis. Lewis Crawford. ‘S nice to meet ya, Warren.”

“Likewise, pardner. So, what’ca doin’ here this late? It’s near ‘leven.”

Was it? Lewis must’ve been so lost in thought that he didn’t keep track of time. “I didn’t realize. Was too busy, I guess.”

Warren hummed, rocking on his feet. “I have a proposal for ya. Let me take ya to the castle, y’know, that big one on the hill.”

Lewis tilted his head, staring at Warren. “Why?”

“Eh, why not? ‘Sides, you look like ya could use a break, no?”

“I guess…”

“Great! See ya there, sugar!”

“Wait, but I didn’t—“

And he was gone. All Lewis could think in that moment: What a strange man.

[drdemonprince]

hi sorry if this is kinda ramble-y. im an 25+ introverted acearo who has never kissed or dated or "experimented" in high school/college cuz i was too focused on my grades and i think i'd would like to try sex once just see what all the fuss is about but i am also afab non-binary and i'm not "visibly trans" so i just get misgendered a lot as a "cis woman." would you have any advice on trying to not feel gender dysphoria when having sex? like, i feel like if i got flirted with by a cishet man or a cis lesbian woman, i feel like i would feel awkward and dysphoric like they are only attracted to me bc i look like a "woman" and also kinda bad like i am wasting their time. should i try to just put something in a dating/tinder/idk (dating app here) profile like "t4t" or my they/them pronouns or "ace4bi/pan" or "ace4other sex-favorable/curious aces" or a little trans flag emoji or something and hope people take the hint?

while i think i would prefer a 1-on-1 meeting for my first time, i also was worried about going to places like a total stranger's apartment/house/hotel alone and i had briefly thought about trying a public sauna since it did seem safer for the reasons that you gave to previous anon that there would be others around and security, but my city's gay baths is pretty. dinky? if google reviews of 2/5 stars are to be believed, it's kinda gone downhill since 2011 on facilities maintenance/showers/hot tub not working, etc., and is very pricey compared to other bigger cities' bathhouses. just generally disappointing i guess? and as an afab looking person, i think would only be allowed to go in on sundays which i think is their all genders day according to the website? but still, from my outward appearance, i was worried that i would get misgendered by any who approach me as a "girl" or get thought of as that stereotypical cishet girl invading gay bars/queer spaces, etc.

also, i dont like being touched on basically my entire torso/back or neck area, only limbs i think.

do you have any advice for a non-binary curious ultra-virgin/late bloomer with too many conditions for an ideal partner? should i just. try to think real hard about not thinking about getting misgendered and ignore any bad vibes/cbt/gaslight myself out of it??

or should i give up since i doubt that other extroverts who are experienced with no touch aversion issues and just looking to party/have a quick hook-up and have a good time would want to deal with introverted me and my picky-ness and gender/touch issues ruining their weekend/wasting their time?

(also i did kinda look into that surrogacy sex therapists/councilors that are apparently a thing now?? but they look like they're mostly in the cooler PNW/west coast areas. im stuck in plain boring uhh let's say think of ohio-pennsylvania-virginia tri-state area suburbs with limited car transportation. but i can get around the city by bus. its not even the cool east coast, its like mid-atlantic/midwest ugh. even some of those cuddle parties/councilors i had thought of for trying to lessen my touch-aversion are mostly west coast and texas for some reason?? my region is just too boring....)

(again sorry if this is a long ask! ^ ^ )

You should hire a sex worker!! When you're looking for something specific and you don't want to play the field it's a great great time to support your local sex workers and ask for exactly what you want. They'll treat you right. Try Tryst !