#everyone finally learns cole is gay

[mooncello]

Lloyd swings his electric gaze to me, pointing at me and then at Cole. “In the meantime, you two—figure out whatever the hell is going on between you.”

I straighten in my chair and blush under the stares of five pairs of eyes. (Okay, four. Cole is fixated on his hands.)

“Lloyd is right,” Jay adds, looking between us with some interest. “The vibe in the house has been weird for over a week.”

“Which is annoying, but not critical,” Lloyd says. His tone tilts into lecture mode, and I use all my self-control to not roll my eyes. “It becomes a problem when it starts to affect missions.”

Lloyd folds his arms across his chest. “Kai and Cole: you did not work together yesterday. You didn’t listen or cooperate. You were distracted from the task. And the bridge we spent all afternoon repairing needs to be fixed—again.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Cole shift uncomfortably.

“Yes, dad,” I mutter sarcastically.

Lloyd ignores it and sends me a stern glare. “Figure it out.”

“What is going on anyway?” Jay asks, tone teasing and jocular. He snickers. “You both like the same girl?”

“Dude…I’m gay,” Cole says. Almost wearily. Like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and how do we not know this already.

The room expands with silence for one long suspended moment. Then Jay reaches over to clap Cole on the shoulder with an embarrassed laugh. “Oh, hey! That’s…that’s awesome, man. Uh—why didn’t you tell us before?”

“Cole does not owe anybody that information, Jay,” Zane says. “He gets to choose when and with whom to share.”

“Thanks, man,” Cole says quietly. “Also, none of you ever asked.”

I’m staring at Cole, my brain humming at his statement. I’m not surprised, I don’t think. (Am I surprised?) But maybe that’s because I’ve been fantasizing about him for the past week, and it’s all been…very, very gay.

Cole doesn’t appear distressed at his clearly unplanned coming out. He doesn’t look mad or even relieved, just…matter of fact. Like he just told us his eyes are brown, or he likes rock music and cake and restoring gardens. It’s just…who he is, and—he’s totally right—none of us noticed or asked about it.

We never fucking noticed.

it's sunday night, so a new chapter is up!

[guardian-angle22]

I read books! Sometimes, I remember to talk about books!

Here’s a roundup of some of my favorite things I read in 2023. I'll put half of this under a cut to save the timeline.

Middle Grade:

When Life Gives You Mangos by Kereen Getten - This is a sweet story about friendship, grief, and family set in a close knit community in Jamaica following a young girl who can't remember anything that happened the previous summer. I don't read middle grade often so I wasn't expecting to be on the edge of my seat during this book, but I sure was!

Garlic & the Vampire by Bree Paulson - An anthropomorphic village of vegetables - what more could you ask for? When the village learns a vampire moved into a nearby castle, they decide Garlic has to be the one to face him. A cute, wholesome graphic novel - and the sequel Garlic & the Witch was also lovely!

Nonfiction:

A Mind Spread Out on the Ground by Alicia Elliott - This is a collection of essays by an Indegenous author covering a wide range of topics including race, gentrification, parenthood, and mental illness. I annotated the shit out of this book... which is always a sign of a well loved read in my house.

Bad Blood by John Carreyrou - A fascinating account by the journalist from the Wall Street Journal who broke open the case against Theranos and Elizabeth Holmes. The entire story is absolutely bananas and made for a wild read.

Excellent on Audio:

How to Be Perfect by Michael Shur - If you watched and enjoyed The Good Place, this audiobook should be required listening. Pretty much everyone from the cast pops in at random times to narrate something. It was also just a great, thought-provoking book. I actually read this for a work book club and it prompted me to finally finish The Good Place. Most successful book club pick ever.

Finding Me by Viola Davis - She won a Grammy for the narration of this book (and earning her rightful place as an EGOT) and it was well deserved. I'm not usually one for celebrity memoirs, but Viola's life was incredibly interesting and her narration was amazing.

Thriller/Horror:

The Hacienda by Isabel Cañas - This is a Mexican, historical, gothic horror novel set after the Mexican War of Independence. It features a secluded, potentially haunted hacienda and a priest who might actually be a witch. Atmospheric vibes are peak here. Highly recommend listening to the spotify playlist the author made while you read!

No One is Watching by Alyssa Cole - The official blurb says "the gentrification of a Brooklyn neighborhood takes on a sinister new meaning" and that about sums it up. It also compares it to Get Out and that's a pretty good comp, in my opinion.

Poetry:

Artemis Made Me Do It by Trista Mateer - I'm not gonna lie, this poetry collection and the one in the series before it (Aphrodite Made Me Do It) were absolutely cover buys. The cover art is stunning! but luckily the inside is good too.

If My Body Could Speak by Blythe Baird - This collection deals a lot with the feminine experience, how we relate to our bodies and its traumas. Definitely check the trigger warnings for this collection first before picking it up.

Romance:

Take a Hint, Dani Brown by Talia Hibbert - I'm not one to read a ton of romance books but I did enjoy a couple this year. This one was definitely the most explicit but also wholesome and something has to be said for being able to do both. Fun tropes include: fake dating & grumpy/sunshine.

Glitterland by Alexis Hall - While this is still a romance book at its core, it also deals heavily with depression. Fun tip with this book: definitely get the re-released edition with this cover because it has author annotation notes! It was very fun to read those at the end of every chapter.

Short & Quick Reads:

The Appendix by Liam Konemann - This is a very small little pocket book, part of the 404's Inklings collection. In it, Liam is reacting to transphobia he encounters through various media, but also discussing how he navigates being a gay trans man in today's culture.

Silver in the Wood by Emily Tesh - I think I would best describe this as a queer forest fairytale. I'm a sucker for any story that can transport me to a mythical forest and while this one clocks in at a little under 115 pages, it packed a good plant magic punch.

Misc Books I Couldn't Find a Category For:

Captive Prince by C.S. Pacat - I never thought I would read this series, but I stumbled into the first one and then devoured the entire series in the span of 2 days. While I know the core of what people love about this is the love story... the political intrigue happening absolutely gripped me!

Oona Out of Order by Margarita Montimore - Another trope/plot device I love is time travel... or whatever weird timey wimey mess you would consider this: Oona faints after she's about to turn nineteen and awakens 32 years in the future in her 51 year old body. She learns that after each year completes, she'll leap to another age at random. It's as messy and complicated as it sounds but never a dull moment.

[cherrybombfangirl]

Hey you, yeah you! Interested in my in progress Ninjago fic that I'm fucking obsessed with and want you guys to become obsessed with as well?

Ao3 Link: Battle Cry (8840 words) by cherrybombfangirl

Wanna read a Ninjago fanfic that spans everything from the pilots to Crystalized? It includes me fixing everything that needs fixing in my humble opinion as a writer myself (love triangles be gone), and my ninjago OC and the small OCs that come with her. 

Yeah you wanna read it!

This fic includes:

My Original Character Amy. She’s a human clone and a former assassin/child soldier, the Master of Space (forcefields and portals), falls in love with Lloyd and is very protective of him plus they have a cute aspec romance, and her arc is all about learning that her emotions aren’t a weakness to let people love her and that’s she’s not a broken monster.

The rainbow colored ninja being very queer as the universe intended: Gay Ace Cole, Trans and Pansexual Kai (plus Lavashipping galore!), Trans and Bisexual Nya (she and Kai swapped genders and names), Trans and Bisexual Jay, Genderfluid and Pan Zane, Asexual Demiromantic and Genderqueer He/They Lloyd, Genderqueer and PanAce Pixal and other characters are obviously queer as well.

Mental health issues galore that you can’t convince me these ninja don’t have at this point: everyone has PTSD, depression, anxiety, and lots of trauma!

Also autistic and adhd ninja because i said so: Autistic and ADHD Lloyd (he gets the autism from Garm and the ADHD from Misako), ADHD Kai (gets it from his mom), ADHD Jay (also from his mom), and Autistic Zane (his father built him that way because he is also autistic).

Addressing the Garmadon family’s generational trauma BECAUSE THE UNTAPPED POTENTIAL-

Lloyd’s relationship with his mom is complicated BUT after Lloyd has an understandable anger outburst Misako realizes “Fuck I messed up and hurt my kid” and spends a very long time trying to be better and fixing her and Lloyd’s relationship- and they do have a good relationship by the end! (because fuck doing nothing over actually working on fixing their mistakes and actually making up for it and people being complicated and imperfect people)

Love triangles are OUT, trauma triangles are IN

Jay actually gets character development in Skybound AND KEEPS SAID DEVELOPMENT, including Jay having to learn how to have a healthy relationship with Nya and stop bulldozing over people’s boundaries/having unhealthy obsessions with people (which is actually a result of trauma)

^^^ also actually exploring Jay’s birthmom in Prime Empire instead of introducing her then only mentioning her once several seasons later (and not even by name)

Also more sibling stuff in general over the romance because Jay and Nya’s relationship over Kai and Nya’s WHY?!?! (also Smith sibs adopting Lloyd, and all the ninja being even closer as a family obviously)

Consider the stupid love triangle with Wu Garm and Misako GONE. Don’t worry though, I give the brothers a much more believable and angsty reason to start fighting in Season 4 :))) (hint, it has to do with their repressed trauma from their dad’s not so great parenting)

Kai gets his own season with plenty of angst and character development as he deserves. The Green Ninja thing and Chen’s staff thing and being abandoned with a baby sister to take care of and putting all his worth on protecting others will ABSOLUTELY BE DISCUSSED

^^^ also Lavashipping will be included with Kai and Cole finally confronting their feelings for each other and going from on and off friends with benefits to the cutest boyfriends/husbands ever

Exploring the Dragon vs Oni and Creation vs Destruction concept more and using Lloyd and his family to illustrate that what the world really needs is a balance of both (also Lloyd and his dad keeping some Dragon/Oni features at the end!!!)

The ninja actually having to recover from when they very severely injured, or say, fucking possessed (why didn’t they even mention how Lloyd would’ve had to recover from that, the fuck)

Also Wu being confronted multiple times for his bullshit (which, suprise suprise, is a result of trauma), and he actually has to fix his mistakes and try to be better

Fixing everything wrong with Rebooted, Skybound, March of the Oni, Fire Chapter, Prime Empire, and Crystalized (I’m a writer myself, there are some things that drive me crazy and I NEED TO FIX THEM-)

More family time and mundane domestic stuff in between the ninja-ing- just the ninja spending time together and acting more like family/roommates in general

Prime Empire actually makes sense, Jay gets actual character development AND we actually explore his birthmom

Morro and Harumi are deeply traumatized BUT they let said trauma make them assholes and use it as an excuse to hurt people and they become even worse (Morro and Harumi stans BEGONE THIS IS NOT FOR YOU)

^^^ this will include Harumi developing an unhealthy obsession with Lloyd and it turning into creepy/predatory behavior, and there will be off screen sexual assault at some point, be wary of that

Exploring what life with Lloyd and his parents pre-banishement was like, complete with angsty-fluffy feels

Actually talking about addressing everyone’s trauma in general (and giving them more trauma because I’m that bitch :DDD )

There’s probably more I’m forgetting but that’s the gist of it for now

[yeehanfrf]

Week 15 Recs: Loud & Proud

For Week 15, we celebrated the start of Pride Month with the theme "Loud and Proud," for fics about queerness, transness, and Pride events!

Behind the cut, you'll find the fics gathered from the Yeehan community, organized by rating and then alphabetically by title.

General Audiences

Embrace Your Colors by elisabomb (kurama3173) [2,459 words] Reccer comment: "Cole 'bi panic' Cassidy and ow at pride parade. Very warm fic that never fails to make me happy"

Jesse McCree did not have a crush on Hanzo Shimada, because Jesse McCree did not like men. Jesse repeated the thought like a mantra as he smoked his third cigar of the day. He was nearly forty. He knew his preferences. Some people liked the same gender, and he loved a lot of those people, but he just wasn’t one of them. So why, all of a sudden, was his brain stuck on the image of his teammate, fresh out of the shower and in nothing but a small white towel slung around his hips?

Enough by b_ofdale (beesinspades) [1,242 words]

A quiet evening at Gibraltar and a bet sprout an old memory.

Weekend Getaway by Mish_chan [1,495 words]

Cole and Hanzo stop at a bed and breakfast for a weekend of relaxation and Pride. Much Fluff.

Teen and Up

A Distant Promise by SadakoTetsuwan [1,374 words]

The strangest thoughts drift through Jesse McCree's head when he's lying in bed with his greatest love and greatest rival--a distant memory of a promise which is finally coming due.

Shimada Dreams of Sushi by delicaterosebud [24,344 words]

As the owner of a mediocre taco shack with tanking reviews and multiple health violations, the last thing that Jesse McCree needs is competition - competition, specifically, from a sushi bar so popular that it drove every other restaurant in the neighborhood out of business. From the very day that Shimada sushi opened its doors, Jesse had hated that restaurant with a burning passion. ...So how does he end up working for the man who runs it?

Mature

Arrival by midgetnazgul [6,757 words] Reccer comment: "'Arrival' by midgetnazgul (rated Mature) is a WIP, but I love what's there"

Jesse has had a tough life and a long road to really growing up, even into his thirties. Today marks the most profound step he's ever taken, and the hardest: attending Tucson's Pride Festival and being out as completely as he ever has been. His time has come to truly arrive, and he's...not ready, but the closest he'll ever be with Hanzo by his side. And Hanzo could stand to do a bit of growing of his own.

Explicit

Hanzo, Denial is Not a River in Egypt by Eunicorne [2,375 words]

Jesse likes Hanzo. He's glad that Hanzo likes him back. There's only one problem. Hanzo doesn't think he's gay.

---

That's it for Week 15! Thank you so much to everyone who submitted a recommendation.

If you happen to find a fic you love using this rec list, be sure to leave the author kudos and a comment! Even "I found this fic because someone recced it" is a lovely thing to say.

Coming up for Week 16: "You Don't Want Sand There," or fics with summer vibes.

In the meantime, you can also check out the Week 14 recs here, or check the full list of past and future themes here.

---

Curious about the icon and some of the fic titles? This rec blog supports #EndOTWRacism, a fan campaign asking the AO3 to make good on its 2020 promises to address racist harassment on the site. Fans of color deserve to feel safe and welcome in fan spaces. To learn more, please visit @end-otw-racism and read their Call to Action.

[treesap-blogs]

Last of my Trans Rights Readathon reviews!! “The Wicked Bargain” by Gabe Cole Novoa

(Strap in everyone, this is going to be a long one! Not only did I have a lot of thoughts on this, but it was somewhat an excuse for one of my hyperfixs to make a cameo. I don’t think I’ve had a 2K word review since The Dragon’s Promise?!)

Hello, Tumblrians! This wraps up my fifth and final review of my Trans Rights Readathon reads!! This one in particular might’ve been anticipated by y’all, as I’d mentioned both looking forward to it and listening to it on Audible for weeks. This particular review will be covering The Wicked Bargain by Gabe Cole Novoa!

I feel this is the only one with a worthwhile Book Discovery Backstory(or whatever fucking name I’ve used before), to be honest: I haven’t shared on here, despite it being the platform to do so (this is just a bookish account for now and I’ve yet to post art outside of that), but I’ve been an Our Flag Means Death fan for about a year now! I’ve gotten attached to the characters, especially a select few, and consequently, I followed a good chunk of the actors on Instagram. For reference, Jim’s my favorite (although my other top three are Oluwande and Jackie, as a sidenote), so I follow their actor, Vico Ortiz, on Instagram! Turns out they do voiceover work, particularly with audiobook narration(which I found out about in November but only remembered beginning of this year?), and they made a story post in January or so that was day 2 of them recording in the studio the narration for this book. The next day they actually made a video dropping the title of it, and I rushed to go check it out! It’s absolutely delightful, reading a gay pirate book narrated by my favorite from the gay pirate show. (Even if I suck ass with staying focused with audiobooks and as a result also had to have a hard copy on hand lmao. I haven’t listened to one since my seventh grade art teacher played all three audiobooks for The Hunger Games. Sidenote, who decided those were for kids?! They’re terrifying!) Despite that being the main reason I got into the book and knew about it in the first place, somehow I ended up forgetting it was actually real and not just something I’d gaslit myself into believing until a week or two until the release date💀

(No but seriously though I followed Gabe Cole Novoa’s Instagram and regularly commented under his updates, I had grown into a certified actual TWB fan between February and when I actually read it in March😭)

So yeah! The more you know, haha. Sorry about the long rant, and also to my dear friend who may be reading this and who I have ranted about my fictional crushes enough times that he can recognize some of them (including the aforementioned) by just pronoun, based on context alone.

BUT YEAH! So the ultimate question: was this book worth the hype? Not just from me, personally, but for most of Tik Tok and some of the bookish Crew folks who’d caught on to its existence? My final verdict? Yes, yes it was. It was an absolute blast of a book.

Ok, onto my actual review now! This is already plenty long, and we haven’t even talked about the plot.

The Wicked Bargain follows (newly) 16 year-old Mar León De La Rosa, a Latine nonbinary (transmasculine) teen working alongside their father on the ship he’s captaining(and became notorious for), La Catalina. (It’s worth mentioning that this book takes place somewhere in the beginnings of the Golden Age Of Piracy, I think the exact year the story starts is legitimately 1717?) On the night of their sixteenth birthday, however, El Diablo comes to claim their father’s soul because of a deal he made with him when Mar was born, then killing everyone else on La Catalina except for him and Mar. Mar has to find a way to get him back before it’s too late, having to learn to hone their own magical abilities (fire and ice elemental stuff!) if they have any hopes of successfully defeating El Diablo, and finding a new home in the ship, La Ana, that saved them from drowning at sea. (Of course, there’s other notable characters: like my personal favorite, a gender-fluid demonio named Dami with somewhat questionable morals, and the son of La Ana’s captain, Bas, who Mar much to their dismay ends up falling for.)

(Sidenote: premise for this sounds sick as fuck, right?! There’s so much plot going on though that it’s taken me five tries to correctly condense and explain it to my friends. Five! Like..go to the Goodreads page, you’ll see what I mean. I legit needed to take a breather the first time I went ahead and read the blurb back in January ��cause it’s a mouthful.) (I’ve noticed that the bullet-point explanation/“tagging” format used by a few Bookstagrammers works in their favor this time because they can just use a couple quotes, include “found family”, “magic”, “gay pirates” and “a deal with the devil” and call it a day.)

So as you can tell, plot-wise, this book is packed. There’s some other details and aspects I left out because it would be spoiler-y to include them, which can be overwhelming for a few (especially given on how long it takes for Mar to pick things up and start throwing baddies around, yeah it takes a while for them to actually be comfortable with using their abilities)(this does not work within the time constraints of the deal and every time it would mention weeks going by and the moon phases changing I’d be like “oh no”)! It took a bit of getting used to on my part, but it keeps things moving along and it ties into the swashbuckling part of it all (see: pirates, haha). This does not work in the ending’s favor, however, because it ended very quickly to the point where it felt a little abrupt. 

I really liked the cast of characters! (I think ensemble casts are starting to grow on me a bit.) A lot of them were so much fun, the obvious favorite being Dami. While a few of their schemes got…convoluted (especially in the last act, but that was kinda mandatory for it to work), I absolutely ate up their moral ambiguity and their banter with Mar. This book also had a solid villain, too! (And an interesting pick as well, being that it’s..the literal devil lmao.) El Diablo got a kickass introduction, cementing him as a threat and a force to be reckoned with in the story’s plot, and he remained menacing throughout basically the entire book. I enjoyed that a lot, he’s probably one of the more solid YA villains I’ve read about! (Even if I have a few questions about his identity at the end. We don’t have a spoiler section for this review, so I’m keeping things vague at that?) As for the non-villainous/morally gray characters I liked, Bas, although he got a horrible first impression with Mar, remained a fun character to bounce off of them. (“Them” singular, I mean bouncing off of Mar lol.) Eventually, when the romance between Bas and Mar was introduced into the plot, I actually liked it and thought that there was a gradual shift in Mar’s opinion of him rather than a total 180 just to make it work(maybe it was because the drag from listening to this and it taking me four times as long to read, though, that made me think it wasn’t rushed). (LMK what you guys think in the comments!) 

To wrap up my discussion on the other characters, Tito got mentioned only a few times I think, but he was one of my favorites too. He was just really sweet, I liked how caring he was towards Mar (especially during the point of the book when they were terrified after being discovered by him) and I appreciate fictional dudes like that. I missed him when Mar and Bas were the centerpieces of the second act and not the La Ana crew as a whole, because it meant there wasn’t any more time to be spent with him :(

Anyhow! Now, Mar themselves. They’re in emotional pain for a lot of the book, and have a sizable amount of trauma attributed to their magic(which is just called the Spanish word for it, magía, here). That prevents them from seeking out solutions related to that. I get it. But damn I was SO annoyed at them for just. Making things drag out?! Literally half of the book would’ve never happened had they just realized they had these super powerful abilities at their disposal!! The one time that Dami tried to get them to use their abilities was kinda convoluted (did the rest of the crew seriously have to be involved, too?!)(and by involved I just mean endangered bro), but their reasoning was understandable imo. When they were frustrated at Mar for their hesitance I was too oh my gods. (Seriously though, when Dami was basically about to pull their hair out because of anger and stress, I was too, and started full-on laughing because it was basically my reaction. I felt seen by that! Sigh.) Anyhow. That issue aside, I loved their characterization as a transmasc non-binary protagonist. I related heavily to their feelings of gender dysphoria, and appreciated as a Spanish learner that the La Catalina crew (and some other folks who knew about Mar not being a boy but non-binary) added the “e” ending to their Spanish when referring to them. Also, little bit of a personal note but I thought it was interesting how they presented really masculine and were alright with “boy” being used as a descriptor for themselves sometimes; a lot of non-binary rep is kept strictly androgynous(well, particularly in television because books are more diverse I noticed), and as a non-binary person who also identifies as gender-fluid and uses male/masculine labels occasionally, this was yet another facet of their gender identity I connected with :). 

(Additional thoughts on the nonbinary representation: I appreciated having this be in a story within the historical fiction genre, because although yes, the characters aren’t real, there’s still that acknowledgement that queerness has always been around. It especially helped to have that be told through the Latine lense that Gabe Cole Novoa wrote it in, because in non-European/white cultures, it’s been an integral part of them but got erased by colonialism. Colonization was semi-frequently mentioned in this book, due to Mar’s cultural background, so that was a point of complexity that was brought up along with it. I’m glad that got to be highlighted here, it’s a layer of queer history typically not talked/written about in mainstream narratives because they're mostly white-centered.)

Magic system I’m a little on-the-fence about, to be honest, because we have some idea of how the strain on Mar limits their usage of it and it ties into the plot(I liked the added detail of them having to use their magic every 2 or so weeks because it would build up!), but they also get pretty powerful with little to no training and I wish the book was a bit longer so we could get more time to develop that. And, as the paragraph on Mar’s characterization gave away, we didn’t get a ton of action scenes involving magic! It stilted its development, sadly, and kinda led to the sudden influx of power in the quick ending. (I was expecting Dami to try to train them a little more! I guess that didn’t happen. Maybe it could, in a version of the story where there were a few more pages and the pacing was a little less clunky towards the last act.)

Ok, in conclusion! I loved TWB a lot. (That’s the acronym that Gabe Cole Novoa uses in regards to it, and I picked up on that because it’s fun! It’s like talking about something with a dedicated fandom.) Even though it didn’t get the highest rating of my Trans Rights Readathon books due to the pacing hindering it a little, I think I enjoyed it the most out of all of them (maybe I’m a bit biased though, see the Book Discovery Backstory). Mar, Dami and Bas have stuck with me for weeks after I initially read about them on-page in March, I still have my hold receipt for my library copy(which I had to return, sad face) stored away in a tiny box in my room, and I’ll be reading anything Gabe Cole Novoa publishes from here on out :).

(Also, I tried drawing digitally for my last fanart piece bc I just got a new iPad and it’s easier for me to sketch on this one, for some reason! I hope you’ve enjoyed the addition of my fanart!)

(Edit, August 10, 2023: I removed the second piece of fanart from this post only to include my art of Bas and Mar. My Dami drawing was inaccurate to how they look on the cover art for The Diablo’s Curse, and I felt the need to take it down for that reason.)

Book rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 stars

(Book content/trigger warnings: Drowning, confinement, grief, gender dysphoria, some instances of underage drinking, semi-frequent mentions of colonization, mention of racial slavery.)

~Paz, signing off!

Trans Rights Readathon Reviews: 5/5

[the-deadlock-south]

good morning yeehan community

[blursed-ninjago-ideas]

Blursed AUs masterlist.

This is a reference for all the AUs that are commonly talked about on this blog. The mods they are listed under are the mods in charge of content for it on this blog, not necessarily the creators of them. (* indicates that they are original to the the mod)

Mod Ivy

Kairro: Morro posses Kai instead of Lloyd. Things take a much different and darker turn since Morro and Kai are very alike.*

Overkill au/ Overkill!Zane: Zane develops a glitch named Overkill that convinces him the best way to protect his friends to to mind control them. Surprisingly, the ninja disagree!*

Serial Killer Nya/Serial Killer!Nya: Nya is a serial killer, and very over protective of Kai. Instead of Samurai X Nya creates the persona Mazoku X. Kai is aware of her habits, but largely in denial. She's a bad influence on Lloyd.*

Hypno Lloyd/ Hypno!Lloyd: Lloyd has oni hypnosis powers.*

Evil Hypno Lloyd/ Evil Hypno!Lloyd: Lloyd decides to use his oni hypnosis powers to force all his friends to turn evil with him. Nya is able to get away because she doesn’t have an elemental connection to Lloyd for him to exploit.*

Thief au/ Thief!Kai, Theif!Nya, and Thief!Lloyd: Kai and Nya were adopted by Ronin, later finding and adopting Lloyd as well. Zane, Cole, and Jay are the same and have to try and get these hooligans to cooperate with them to save Ninjago.

D&D au: All of the show is just a D&D campaign the characters are playing.*

Moviekhan: Nadakhan shows up in the Movie universe, the movie ninja force wish for someone that can defeat him, Show!Jay gets teleported into their universe and has to coach the much younger ninja and help them defeat Nadakhan.

Siren au: Nya and Kai are sirens. Jay is a pirate they kidnap and keep as a pet/friend. 

Djinn!Jay: Somehow Jay gets turned into a Djinn. He gets his own rules and his wish granting has it’s own quirks.

Villain Vibe: All the ninja are just evil and group up to be bad evil people and rule ninjago. Each are their own brand of bad guy though.*

Cyborg Jay/ Cyborg!Jay: Jay has been augmenting himself in secret and has a whole system of inventions he’s wires into himself.

Oni Misako au: Misako is an oni that was sent to Ninjago as a scouting party, but met Mystake, fell in love with Garmadon, and decided to just live in Ninjago instead of trying to destroy it.

Fate/Ninjago: A holy grail war featuring all your favorite Ninjago characters! (Or at least weird reincarnated substitutes of some of them.) Cross over with the Fate series.*

Ninjatubers: The ninja get Youtube channels for various reasons. Chaos ensues.

Tall Vampire Lady Misako: Misako is a Lady Dimitrescu style vampire. Garmadon is a simp for his giant wife. (There is no tag for this because it got out of hand too fast and there is no way I can dig through and find everything now.)

Grandpa Djinn: Darla was pregnant before Nadakhan's banishment and was Kai and Nya's great something grandmother. Nadakhan escaped the tea pot early and is delighted to take in his great something grandkids.

Uncle Krux: Multiple versions. Krux takes Kai and Nya in instead of leaving them to fend for themselves and either raises them to be evil, or slowly gives up on the evil plan. Alternatively, he gives up on the evil plan before he ever kidnapped Ray and Maya.

Brainwashed Kai (Mod Ivy's Version): Instead of just stealing Kai’s element, Aspheera decides to take him as well, brainwashing him into being her decorative pet

Mod Kat:

Miraculous au: Lloyd accidentally gets stuck in the Miraculous Ladybug universe, the rest of the ninja soon follow. Hawkmoth is his usual jerk, the ninja use some miraculous and just generally deal with the chaos all while they figure out how to get home.

Monkie Kid crossover: the ninja adopt a child from another realm when he randomly gets spit out by a portal directly in their front yard.*

Mod [R]

Amnesicpirate!Jay au/ Orpheus!Jay: Jay gets kidnapped by Nadakhan and has his memories stolen. Jay is told that he’s always lived on the Misfortune’s Keep and that his name is Orpheus. The ninja recognize him, he doesn’t know who they are or why they keep calling him “J”.

Bunker au/ Bunker!Kai: Movie!Kai finds an abandoned super villain lair under his house and decides to use it as his own personal secret clubhouse. Show!Kai ends up in the Movie universe and Movie!Kai puts him in the super villain bunker and keeps him a secret from everybody while Show!Kai figures out how to get home.

Cryptid Jay Aus: Jay is a Cryptid that endlessly builds towers that the ninja need to stop. 3 versions, Gay, Child* and Greiving.

Amongus!au: The ninja are aboard a spaceship, and everything is going fine. Until they realize there is an imposter on the ship, planning to kill everyone.*

Kai instead au: In the pilot, Kai gets taken by the skullkin instead of Nya. Now she has to go find her brother. Nya gets help from three students who are also trying to stop the skulkin, they also want some weapons that she couldn’t care less about.*

DHMIS!au: The ninja as the Dhmis characters. Things go about as well as expected.*

Animaniacs au: The Warners mess with a machine of the Brains, meant for Brain to use the help of alternate universe versions of himself. This causes the three Warners to to be teleported to this weird place called “ninjago”, like what a stupid name!*

Hadestown au: It’s the Hadestown musical. Garmadon is Persephone, Misako is Hades. (Plasma au)*

Wrong place wrong timeline: The ninja keep seeing the apparition of a strange person desperately trying to get to them, disappearing right before they get to them. When trying to learn more about what’s going on, they learn that Garmadon is a little more ruthless than they thought.*

Blog God (Departed)

Brainwashed Kai au/ Brainwashed!Kai: Instead of just stealing Kai’s element, Aspheera decides to take him as well, brainwashing him into being her servant.

Siren Jay au/ Siren!Jay: Jay is part siren on his mother’s side and doesn’t have perfect control over his siren powers.

Element Swap au/ Element Swap!Kai, and Element Swap!Nya: Nya is the master of Fire and Kai is the master of water.

Ghost of Time AU/ Ghost of time: Kai dies fighting Krux and Acronix in the timestream, causing him to be removed from time. Small evidence remains of him existing like a blurry video of his final moment. Kai’s ghost is outside of time and has virtually no memories. The ninja think he’s important, but can’t figure it out, plus there are some holes in their own memories where things don’t make sense. 

Duolingo Lloyd: Lloyd is the duolingo bird (with a gun) and terrorizes Kai in his nightmares. (and I guess now Misako has an alter ego named Rosetta Stone that’s the same thing)

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

watched "home sweet home"

here are my mildly-spoilerly thoughts condensed into nonsensical bullet points that i can't do a read more on bc mobile:

-maggie and judith 🥺

-the carol and maggie scene was good, and the following two second caryl scene was too. i still don't really like or care about negan, but if it gets maggie and carol in a scene together i'm hype. i'd prefer them going off and murdering a bunch of people again, tho, remember that? that was hot

-don't like cole. no reason, he just seems whiny

-do like elijah. he's fucking weird, and him and kelly jiving was cute

-kelly is always a treasure, and i like when daryl uses sign language

-maggie talking about glenn and hershel sr 🥺

-unrelated, by why tf does norman reedus' daryl voice have to be three octaves below human audio comprehension? how does anyone understand anything he says without subtitles? daryl probably learned sign language as a public service for everyone, not just connie and kelly

-anyway

-reapers?

-some video game npcs got introduced and then murdered in the span of five seconds

-daryl's internal monologue during the entire search for bb hershel: "plz god & the duolingo owl, let us find him, i mentally /cannot/ deal with another lethal woman seeking revenge for their dead child, i will genuinely walk into the ocean if that happens"

-ugly white dude wearing a burlap sack covered in leaves says some ominous shit and then splatters everybody with intestine soup, ladeeda

-DID NOT EXPECT TO HAVE SUCH A STRONG EMOTIONAL REACTION TO BB HERSHEL

-srsly, i wasn't expecting to care, but that child literally said two words and i was 🥺🥺🥺

-how tf did the same ppl who casted the worst possible child actor for rick jr manage to find the perfect child in the world to embody pure glenn energy??

-fuck i miss glenn, fuck negan, dude, i'm on maggie's side actually

-also i want carol to sit on daryl's face while wearing nothing but that adorable cardigan, hoo boy i am gay

-anyway

-the episode was cute for what it was. unfortunate that it didn't have walkers falling off a cliff in slow motion like the 10b finale did. i wish that was just a requisite scene for every walking dead episode from now on

-the end

[takerfoxx]

In response to JK Rowling and Joss Whedon, my (former) idols

I really didn’t want to have to do this.

So in addition to…=gestures vaguely=…all of that, the last few months have been kind of sucky when it comes to learning some really unpleasant things about artists that I looked up to, admired, and was in fact inspired by. I’ve already spoken about the Speaking Out movement revealing a lot of ugly behavior from various wrestlers, some of which I was big fans of, and then later we got Chris Jericho being a full-on MAGA. Yeah, that all sucked. But those were just performers whose work I enjoyed watching. The one that really hurt were writers who I deeply admired, whose stories I love, and who I was heavily influenced by.

The first, of course, was finding out that JK Rowling, the author of perhaps the single biggest YA fantasy series of all time Harry Potter, is a TERF. This really sucked for a number of reasons. Firstly, I really like Harry Potter! I mean, I’m not a super fan or anything. I came into it when things were kind of dying down, like the whole book series had already been released and there were only a few movies left, but I still really enjoyed it, have all the books and movies and a fair amount of merchandise swag, including a nifty wand I got at Universal Studios. Shit, I got two replicas of the Sword of Griffyindor, thanks to them screwing up my order in my favor and sending me a duplicate! They’re on my wall right across from me as I type this!

But in addition to writing a book series I really liked, JK Rowling was supposed to be one the good guys. She’s been vocally progressive, often openly comes down on British right-wing nonsense, has supported various persecuted minorities, and is on record as being one of the few self-made billionaires to actually stop being a billionaire for a time because she donated so much money to charity. And while we mock it now, her revealing Dumbledore as gay was a huge deal at the time. Plus, she cultivated this reputation as Auntie Jo, that cool, supportive aunt we all wanted.

But for a while her stock has been dropping. Her preference for confirming “representation” via tweets instead of explicitly putting it in the text of her stories has raised the question of queer-baiting, especially with a whole-ass movie with a young Dumbledore and Grindelwald to make their relationship explicit but failing to do so. The whole Nagini thing from the latest Fantastic Beasts movie was pretty gross. And re-examination of various problematic elements from the original novels has rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. Now, none of these really looked to be intentionally malicious, of course. Just about everyone’s early work will have problematic elements; that’s just how people work. And the later stuff smacked more of ignorance than anything. But after all this time, it’s like, c’mon. You should know better by now.

But the biggie came when her transphobic views finally came to light. Now, this one had been brewing for a while, due to some questionable likes and statements on her twitter. But then she decided to just go public and published what essentially amounts to a TERF manifesto, one with a very “love the sinner, hate the sin” condescending attitude and had a real persecution complex air to it.

Now, I’m not going to go into detail about what the manifesto was about, what the circumstances surrounding it were, or how wrong it was. It’s already been raked over the coals, dissected, answered, and debunked in detail by people far more qualified than me, so odds are, you’re already well aware of its contents and the subsequent rebuttals. But the gist of it comes down to her basically believing that transwomen are actually cis men claiming to be trans so as to infiltrate and invade female-only spaces.

Yeah.

Okay, that’s gross, but…why? Why is someone so noted for being progressive and wanting to foster an inclusive environment making this the hill of exclusion that she wants to die on?

Well, that’s where things get tricky. She mentions that prior to Harry Potter, her first marriage was highly physically and sexually abusive, and when she escaped from that, she had no place to go, leading her to be homeless for a time.

Oh.

Well, that makes sense. Someone goes through a highly traumatic experience with a member of the opposite sex, has no support structure when she escapes it, is left to fend for herself, only to suddenly get rocketed into fame, fortune, and influence, which in turn leads to a Never Again mentality. She was hurt, no one was there to help her, and now she’s afraid of men invading women-only spaces to victimize others like she was victimized. So…literally transphobic. Literally a Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist.

Guys, this is so fucked up. Like, how do you even approach something like this? She’s a victim in every sense of the word, so of course she’s going to have physiological damage and a warped view of things. I mean, if I found out that a close friend of mine went through the same thing and had the same prejudices, I would be nothing but sympathetic! I mean, I’d still do what I can to convince her to overcome those prejudices, but I’d still show sympathy and support for what she went through.

Abuse warps people. There’s a reason why so many abusers are abuse survivors themselves. It makes you terrified of being hurt again and often causes people to adopt toxic behaviors, beliefs, and reactions to protect themselves. I’ve already talked about it at length while discussing She-Ra and its own handling of the cycle of abuse, which included franks discussions of Catra’s horrible behavior, why she was the way she was, while never losing sympathy for her and rooting for her to overcome it. So if JK Rowling is an abuse survivor, is it really right to come down on her for having warped views because of that abuse?

But that’s the problem. See, she isn’t your troubled friend that you’re trying to help. She isn’t your cousin Leslie who’s a really sweet person but unfortunately adopted some bad ideals due to trauma suffered. She JK freakin’ ROWLING, one of the most famous, wealthy, and influential women in the world. She has a platform of millions, if not billions, which means her voice lends credibility to her bigoted beliefs. Alt-righters and other TERFs have already swooped upon this for giving validation to their awful beliefs, which puts trans people even more at risk. And as horrible as Rowling’s experiences might have been, the trans community is often the victim of far worse, and they don’t have a mountain of money and an army of defenders to protect them like she does. I’ve said it time and time again: just because you’re a victim, that doesn’t give you the right to victimize others! And bringing things back to Catra, as much as I loved her redemption in the final season, she was still a TERRIBLE PERSON for a huge chunk of the show, one that needed to be stood up to and stopped.

So yeah. That’s the messiness that is JK Rowling.

Now, let’s talk about the one that really hurts. Let’s talk about Joss Whedon.

I’ve made no secret of what a huge Whedon fan I am. Unlike Rowling, I was a HUUUUUGE superfan. Seeing Serenity for the first time in theaters was akin to a religious awakening to me as a storyteller, making it one of my top three movies of all time. Firefly is my favorite show ever. And I adored Buffy, Angel, and Dollhouse as well. I love Cabin in the Woods and The Avengers. The very first fanfic I ever wrote was a Firefly fanfic that disappeared along with my old laptop. I know his style isn’t for everyone, but I cannot understate how much of a personal inspiration he is to me as a writer.

And like Rowling, Joss was supposed to be one of the good guys! Buffy was monumental in pushing the needle when it came to female empowerment. Will and Tara were groundbreaking as a gay couple. He’s been outspoken for years about his feminist views and beliefs and was seen as one of the most prominent and influential feminist voices in Hollywood!

And then things started to go bad.

One day he was on top of the world, the mastermind behind the first two Avenger movies. And the next, it seemed like he was in freefall. It’s hard to really pinpoint exactly when the change took place. Some would say him being brought in as a last-minute substitute for Zack Snyder to take over on Justice League after Snyder had to leave due to family tragedy, and the subsequent awful critical reception to that film tarnishing his image, even if those were very unique circumstances that couldn’t really be blamed on him. Others might point to Age of Ultron’s less than stellar reception, as well as criticism of some questionable jokes and certain creative decisions regarding the character of Black Widow, which then led to a more critical examination of how Whedon continues to write female characters, as while his work might have been revolutionary in the 90’s, his failure to evolve with the times had meant that many of his portrayals are now woefully outdated and problematic, with his vision for a Batgirl movie getting hit with a lot of backlash as a result.

Again, I’m not going to go into too much detail, as this is all public knowledge and can be easily looked up, but overall it seemed that Whedon entered into a period where he was getting criticized more than he was celebrated, and his image of a guaranteed hit maker was now in doubt.

But all of this wasn’t the big problem. All creators go through rises and slumps, and everyone hits points where they get hit with a barrage of criticism; that’s just part of being a public creative figure, especially a progressive one. And had nothing happened after, it would have probably faded, got forgotten, and Whedon would have moved onto the next project with no fuss.

But as it turned out, it wasn’t just a minor slump in his career. Instead, it was the priming of the pump.

In 2016, Whedon divorced his wife of sixteen years, Kai Cole, and in an open letter, Kai Cole accused him of being a serial cheater, who would have affairs with a great many women, from co-workers, to actresses, to friends, to even his fans. And in addition to raising questions of him possibly abusing his position as showrunner to elicit sex from those working on his projects, there also is the ugly question of how could someone who speaks so highly of women then go and backstab the person who was supposed to be the most important woman in his life, as well as lying to her and denying her the autonomy of deciding whether or not she even wanted to continue to have a relationship with him?

Furthermore, Whedon himself has not explicitly denied these accusations, and comments made by him seem only to confirm them.

Now if you’ll recall, I reacted publicly to this news, and despite my admiration of Whedon’s work, I came down on Kai Cole’s side, and stated that while things like marriage issues and infidelity were no one’s business but that of the couple’s, it did raise a lot of uncomfortable questions about how Whedon treated the women in his life and he really needed to get his shit in order.

But hey, a messy private life and a guy falling into temptation isn’t that big of a deal, right? Plenty of creators also go through multiple marriages and have problems staying faithful and still continue making great art. We’re all human, it’s a stressful job, and this shit just happens, right? Sure, it’s gross and a shitty thing to do, but ain’t no business of ours, right?

In late 2020, actor Ray Fisher, who played the role of Cyborg in Justice League, openly accused Joss Whedon of fostering a hostile work environment, claiming that the director’s behavior was abusive and unprofessional, and that Whedon in turn was protected by DC executives.

DC and Warner Bros. came down against Fisher, claiming they had done an internal investigation that turned up no evidence of wrongdoing (yeah, sure they did), and soon Fisher was out as Cyborg, apparently for rocking the boat.

But then Charisma Carpenter, noted for her important role as Cordelia Chase in both Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, then spoke up, claiming to be inspired by Fisher in doing so. She described Whedon did indeed foster a hostile work environment on his projects, that his often acted in a toxic manner, from asking incredibly invasive and inappropriate questions regarding her pregnancy to insulting her on set. She said that she made excuses for him for years, but after undergoing a lot of therapy and reading what Ray Fisher had to say, she felt compelled to speak out.

And this just open the floodgates. Other actors and actresses also came forward, some with stories of their own, others to offer support. Even Buffy herself, Sarah Michelle Gellar, confirmed Carpenter’s stories and said that she no longer wanted to be associated with Whedon. Michelle Trachtenberg, who played the character of Dawn, stated that she also experienced toxic treatment from Whedon despite her being a minor at the time, and says that the set had a rule that Whedon wasn’t allowed to be alone with her again, which really raises some sickening questions of what happened the first time. Even male stars have spoken out, from words of support and apologies for not speaking up earlier from Anthony Stewart Head and David Boreanaz, to an earlier interview with James Marsters, in which he described being terrified of Whedon, mainly due to an instance when Whedon was frustrated with the popularity of Marsters’s character of Spike messing with his plans and physically and verbally taking it out on the actor. There have been many corroborating stories of Whedon being casually cruel on set, on seemingly taking delight in making his fellow show writers cry, and even the man himself admitting to enjoying fostering a hostile work environment during his director commentary of the Avengers. We’ve joked about Whedon’s supposed sadism for years, but that was in regards to how he treated the characters in his stories, not the people helping him make them!

So yeah. That’s the problem with Joss Whedon.

So, do I think that Joss Whedon is somehow some kind of sociopath who lied about his feminist principles and deliberately put on a progressive façade specifically to get into a position of power so he could torment people? No, of course not. I think he was sincere about his beliefs, and I do think he didn’t realize the wrongness of his behavior. But that’s kind of the problem. See, it’s one thing to have kind of a trollishness to your nature, a sort of sadistic side. No one can help that. But when someone with that quality gets put into a position of power in which they are protected by both the higher-ups and their legions of fans, they are allowed to mistreat and continue to mistreat people. And by never suffering any consequences, that sort of toxic behavior becomes internalized, becomes a habit, becomes their moda operandi. And when you’re constantly getting praised as a creative genius and a wonderful feminist voice, any self-criticism just gets wiped away, and you think yourself above reproach, leading to what Joss Whedon became and went on being.

And you know what scares me the most about this particular issue? It’s not that I am a fan of his stories. It’s that I can so easily see myself turning out the same way.

Look, I’ll be upfront about it: I’m kind of a sadist myself. You’ve seen it in my stories, you’ve seen me gloating after a particularly dark plot twist makes my readers freak out. That sort of stuff is fun to me. There’s a reason why I have a much easier time in the dark and violent scenes, because I’m channeling something ugly within me. We all have a dark side, and this is mine.

But UNLIKE Whedon, that doesn’t carry over to how I treat people in real life (unless Monopoly or Mario Party are involved, then it’s fair game). Maybe it’s because I wasn’t given the sort of power and praise he did so early, and I was always taught to be considerate of other people’s feelings, but if I ever find out that I hurt another person or went too fair, I feel TERRIBLE, and it just throws me off all day until I apologize. Even if I don’t notice right away that what I said or did wasn’t cool (autistic, remember?), when it’s pointed out to me and I have some time to think on it, yeah, the guilt is on and I make a point to apologize to whoever I’ve hurt. I’ve even made a point to apologize to members of my family for inconsiderate stuff I said years ago as a little punk kid because it wouldn’t stop bugging me.

So maybe Whedon got too big, too fast. Maybe putting people on these sorts of pedestals, especially progressive ones, is ultimately a bad thing.

So where does this leave us? How are we to treat JK Rowling and Joss Whedon, one who developed a lot of transphobia due to abuse suffered while the other became a toxic individual due to unchecked control and a lack of consequences? Can we still enjoy their stories despite them now being colored by their creators’ falls from grace? Can we separate the art from the artist, or do we have to do a clean split?

Honestly, I feel that has to come down to the individual. I can’t remove the influence Rowling and Whedon have had on me as a storyteller, and I still highly respect both of their talents despite taking major issue with their problems as people. And I’m not going go throw away all of my Harry Potter or Firefly stuff. Because that’s my stuff. It has value to me, it doesn’t represent the issues with their creators, and a lot of it was gifts from people who are dear to me. Though I do think it’ll be a long time before I return to either of their work, as I just don’t have the stomach for it now.

But I will be avoiding any projects they have in the future. I don’t want to put money in their pockets that might go on to support their toxic beliefs or behavior. And as for royalties for their past work that would also support the cast and crew of the Harry Potter films or those who worked on Whedon’s shows who do not deserve to lose money because we don’t want any of that money going to the creators? Er, that question is a little above my paygrade. I don’t know. You’ll have to all decide for yourselves. As for me, I still have a lot of thinking to do.

Regardless though, if I or anyone else is still able to enjoy their work, then it’s important to not divorce what these people said or did from the art they created, even if it makes enjoying that art less fun. It’s important to be critical about what we enjoy, to acknowledge the bad aspects along with the good, and open up discussion of those elements, because that’s what mature adults are supposed to do. 

And as for JK Rowling and Joss Whedon, whose stories I love, whose talent I admire, and whose past good work I’ll happily acknowledge, I do hope they both experience some sort of realization and enter into a period of self-examination that leads to them getting help for their issues, for Rowling to get help in coming to terms with her trauma and realizing that she’s wrong about the trans community and a full apology, and for Whedon to also come to terms with his toxic behavior and how he treats people, for him to make no excuse for what he did and sincerely apologize to those he hurt and work on bettering himself, as well as them both examining some of the more problematic tropes still present in their works. Because despite everything, I do feel that they can still be a creative force of good, and it would be a shame if they let themselves self-destruct.

But if not, then if it comes down to choosing between Rowling and the protecting the trans community, if it comes down between choosing between letting Whedon continue to make shows and protecting actors and writers from his abusive behavior, then I know who I’m siding with, and it ain’t the two individuals this whole essay is about. No story, no matter how good, no matter how creative, is worth letting sacrificing vulnerable people in order for it to be made.

[springfieldblues]

my long ass review for S32E03 Now Museum, Now You Don’t

warning: LONG because i rambled about history more than i thought i would

id been looking forward to this one because i like art history, especially after seeing how they tried their best to stick to historical accuracy in the previous episode I, Carumbus. this time however….they didnt try that hard. i dont know why i thought theyd go through that sort of trouble again LMAO

but its okay, i dont really expect the simpsons to be the paragon of historical accuracy or anything. especially in anthology episodes told through a particular character's lens (in this case, lisa, whos already feverish so whatever)

first i just wanna say that this is, i guess, less of a review and more of an accidental list of history fun facts. so im just gonna get my general thoughts out of the way first.

the episode was fun! to me at least haha. i mean it got me to think and do a lot of research on my own so that must count for something. besides a couple of really weird ones, the jokes were good. anthology episodes tend to be….not that good but i thought this one was one of the better ones so far. idk.

anyway on to lisanardo da vinky its the renaissance! jesus christ the italian accents in the beginning of this segment were annoying as hell but i also feel like that was the joke lmao. ill be real i kind of tuned out for a second there when grampa started rambling so idk what he said.

i told myself i wouldnt get nitpicky with historical accuracy if the jokes were funny (final edit: so that was a lie) but this meh bit with the pizza guys and mascots was really not worth ignoring the fact that its impossible for italy to have any tomato-based food in the 15th century (tomatoes were brought to europe from the americas in the 16th century, and pizza as we know it today—flatbread, cheese, tomato—originated in the late 18th century)

oh this next part was kind of legit tho. lisanardo, like the real leonardo, became andrea del verrochio's apprentice at his workshop. i loved this next bit:

"Whoever paints the sweetest cherub will have the honor of having MY name signed on their work. That's what great artists do!"

SO YEAH as it turns out, lisanardo painted the sweetest cherubs. the painting here is called The Baptism of Christ, and the real leonardo assisted verrochio in finishing it. specifically, he painted the cherubs in the corner.

this causes verrochio to quit and go someplace with less talented people: a music school (yes, verrochio did quit painting after getting owned by young leo and his mad angel painting skills. he never did anything with music tho, he was more of a sculptor)

alongside lisanardo, in mr largo-verrochio's workshop we have barticelli (botticelli bart), dolphatello (donatello dolph), ralphael (raphael...ralph) and mediocrito (no one that i know of. sorry milhouse) (and kearney i guess but they dont refer to him by name). botticelli and donatello are said to have also been apprentices at verrochio's workshop, but raphael came a couple of decades later so he couldnt have been there. and donatello was too old so that claim is a bit questionable. but anyway

it IS true that leonardo's peers envied him, to the point where he was anonymously and purposefully accused of being gay (a major crime punishable by death in 15th century florence) while he was still working at verrochio's workshop

we are then treated by what im pretty sure is the fourth time the show has used 'at seventeen' by janis ian, this time sung by a dejected lisanardo (man they really do keep making yeardley sing these days huh) who only wishes to be appreciated and not envied.

"I'll show them all! I'll show them all in a secret diary that no one will decipher for 400 years!"

some of lisanardo's future inventions. who wouldve known

so after barticelli, for some reason (revenge??? or something?? what was his plan here idgi) steals lisanardo's diaries full of blueprints of her inventions and takes them to mr burns who i have to assume is pope alexander VI here, they decide to use her inventions for war.

"With these, we can kill the most evil people in the world!! ....Slightly different Christians."

leo actually did this of his own accord. im surprised this is what they decided to do with lisanardo instead of talking about leo's love of nature and vegetarianism (not a single mention of that in this episode? come on...) then again, trying to do good only to end up indirectly making things worse is a very standard lisa storyline. i guess they didnt want to miss the chance to have evil pope burns (very fitting, especially for that era since they were all about money and controlling the people)

so lisanardo decides to leave for france, unlike the real leonardo who was more or less persuaded by his ultimate fanboy king francis I to move to france.

"Lisanardo, I have many questions. Why are you hitting yourself? A nerd says 'what'? And how is it possible that I am rubber and you are glue? Et cetera, et cetera."

that line may seem a little random, like hes just nelson saying nelson things (and i mean, obviously he is) but the real francis also "had an unquenchable thirst for learning, and Leonardo was the world’s best source of experimental knowledge. He could teach the king about almost any subject there was to know, from how the eye works to why the moon shines." so yeah, he did have many questions and lisanardo, finally being appreciated for her intellect, was happy to answer them all. its very interesting how lisa assigned this role to nelson in her retelling of da vinci’s life :^)

and so she lived the rest of her days in france, nat king cole's 'mona lisa' plays because duh, and they make a da vinci code reference because duh. and the segment ends. and not a single time did they show the actual mona lisa painting. the fuck?

(ngl i was fully expecting bart to say 'leonardo da vinky' for a second here)

so this next segment is about french impressionist painters, most likely the batignolles group, a name adopted by the early representatives of impressionism. its much more vague than the lisanardo segment since no one here is referred to by name (except moe, more on him in a sec) but i dont feel like it really matters in this case. bart is prrrrooobably claude monet but its hard to say, this segment is kind of a mish-mash of a lot of things. also i gotta say i really liked how lisa introduced the story to bart with an 'if you hate the formal study of art' and not 'if you hate art' because thats exactly my headcanon. i LOVE the concept of artist bart and whenever its referenced it just makes perfect sense to me.

anyway the segment opens in 1863 at the école des beaux-arts (back then it was actually known as the académie des beaux-arts), preserver of traditional french art styles. skinner reviews his students’ paintings one by one. praises the plain, unimaginative paintings depicting your typical european countryside landscapes. very run-of-the-mill (haha get it...cuz theres….a windmill) (although the real académie didnt approve of such basic stuff, they wanted artists to draw epic historical and mythological scenes) then he gets to barts painting and he gives him an F- because the painting made him think.

(the paintings in this scene arent real famous paintings as far as i know but they are inspired by real paintings enough to get the point across)

in comes barney dressed as bacchus as a model for the students to sketch, which i just loved:

barney: “You prefer robe open or robe off?” skinner: “Just cover your privates with this walnut shell.” barney: “Whoa!!! So roomy!”

skinner gasps in horror at bart’s sketch, which “looks nothing like him” and bart explains that “it shouldn’t; we’re making the art that we feel because we can’t compete with a camera.” damn, you go bart. take that, realism. draw what you feel!!

(also no, you didnt need to hold still for 17 hours for a daguerreotype. 30 min tops.)

nelson haw-haw of the week: FOIE-gras!

so here they are at the moulin rouge (“enjoy it before baz luhrmann ruins it” hey shut up. i love that movie), which wouldnt be built for another 26 years, but it is the most widely known gathering place for bohemians in the public consciousness so i can understand why they went with the moulin. nelson delivers this anachronistic line:

“This époque keeps getting beller and beller!”

which alludes to la belle époque, the golden age of france usually dated from 1880 to 1914. made me snort so ill let that slide

and heres moe! as henri de toulouse-lautrec, who was actually born a year after the year this segment is set in. yo moe szyslak he was just 1

toulouse-moetrec introduces himself as the chronicler of the demimonde (not an actual job). an iconic figure associated with the moulin rouge (largely due to his affinity for alcohol and prostitutes), toulouse-lautrec was also a painter, having illustrated a series of posters for the moulin himself. he simply had to be in this segment, anachronisms be damned, just because they decided to include the moulin. cant have one without the other.

and yes he did have a walking cane where he kept his liquor.

i love how everyone drinks absinthe in this place. theyre bohemians what else would they drink

toulouse-moetrec points out that barts paintings are the greatest thing hes ever seen (and hes seen like five things!) and that hes a genius. milhouse realizes that they should stop doing what the teacher says and use their own minds to instead...start doing what bart says lmao. to the easels!

next we have skinner hyping up chalmers about the art his students made for the salon de paris, an art exhibition that the emperor of france will attend. he assures him that none of these paintings will encourage debate, provoke thought or be out of place at a dentist’s office. when they unveil the art, theyre both SHOCKED at how scandalous the paintings actually are.

this reaction was kind of accurate. impressionism was severely rejected at the salon de paris, due to paintings not looking finished enough to them, they thought they were ugly and vulgar for depicting nudity in a contemporary setting (historical and mythological nudity was fine). these impressionist paintings were sent to the salon de refusés, which is. yeah. the place where they sent the rejects. the salon de refusés does not make an appearance but this scene makes a reference to it when the artists get expelled from the royal salon. also:

“What about our student loans?” “Oh they’ll be refunded. We are not barbarians, I mean, come on.”

(god if only)

so the painters are down because they want the emperor to actually see their paintings. toulouse-moetrec pipes in once again with an idea.

“There is one thing the emperor loves more than anything.” “France?” “No, he hates France.”

apparently the emperor really loves cheese, which makes sense since its napoleon III (who loved cheese) and homer (who loves cheese.) so the painters roll into the salon inside a giant wheel of cheese (obviously.) as lenny said, “Eh, you know French cheese. Very runny.” napoleon III chases after the wheel into a room, where the wheel falls apart after getting chomped on by the emperor. now that they got his attention, the painters proudly show the emperor their impressionist art, which he couldnt be more indifferent about because he just wants to eat his cheese dammit, and he awards them with the royal medallion just to kind of get them out of his way. skinner immediately starts kissing ass (as he does) until marge’s like ‘hey wait a minute. you expelled these students from the royal salon’ and an executioner immediately starts ominously measuring skinners neck.

“Uh, sir...is your tongue sticking out because you’re dead or because you’re mad at me?”

and thats the end of that lmao (gore in this episode, gore in the last episode, and next week we’re getting gore too cuz its THOH, what the hell is goin on)

we get a short intermission with maggie, who wants a story for her too! lisa tells her that renaissance artists loved to put babies in their paintings, especially baby angels.

here she is showing her The Triumph Of Galatea by raphael:

King David Playing The Harp by peter paul reubens:

and a very simplified version of pretty much any depiction of hell by hyeronimus bosch lmao:

not much else to say about this one, really. but i really liked that sky!

the last segment is about frida kahlo and diego rivera. or as bart puts it ‘the one about a fat guy whos wife is too good for him.’ i was REALLY looking forward to this one because i love frida and i thought itd be a cool opportunity for animators to go bonkers and do really cool shit with her art as inspiration…..but the segment is not about frida, its about diego and his selling out to capitalism. and its also yet another story with homer and marge drama. no funky cool animation here. sigh i guess i’ll take it

the story begins in 1929 at la casa azul, frida’s home (now museum dedicated to her life and work.) frida and diego are getting married. this courtyard definitely did not look this way yet back in 1929. also theres something very cringy yet funny about lovejoy saying spanish words the way he does, i honestly cant decide how i feel about that one

the writers know theyre being cringy with their gringoness so they go along with it.

moe: “Spanish for ‘best wishes’!” mel: “Spanish for ‘congratulations’!” bumblebee man: “Spanish for ‘muy bueno’!”

OH YEAH BUMBLEBEE MAN this is his new voice actor, eric lopez! hes not mexican but its still great to finally have a latino actor voicing a latino character and hes very excited to be part of the show so i hope to hear more of him!! im rooting for him

el barto/zorro makes an appearance which i am very confused about. he has jack shit to do with frida and diego and mexico in the 20s-30s. el zorro was set in the spanish california of the early 19th century. their use of the original theme song makes me think they just wanted to flex their disney privileges tbh

lets not talk about that that whole scene was bad

anyway diego announces he and frida are going to new york, without even asking her first. frida is obviously pissed.

“Don’t worry, as a woman, you’ll be treated with much more respect in America.”

so in new york, diego is having a bit of a business meeting with mr burns as one of the members of the rockefellers, who is commissioning him to draw a mural for the rockefeller center. its kinda funny how he refers to him and frida as socialists even though they were very much communists lmao its okay you can say it. ok so far, but then frida says ‘yes, we hate the capitalists! right now, a young socialist is being born who will take them down! mr. bernie sanders. i hope hes quick about it’ and that was a simple enough joke and couldve been left at that but then its immediately followed by this weird as fuck family guy-esque cutaway gag to bernie as a baby:

“Getting a cootie shot should not cost your lunch money. And if you don’t listen to me, listen to the Bernie Babies! What? Everybody’s got goons.” *larger babies start beating up this other baby* “I disavow that, and welcome it.”

this confused me so much that i had to ask one of my american friends to help me understand, but even she was like ‘uhhh yeah thats a weird joke,’ especially now that hes been out of the race for months (then again these episodes take almost a year to produce. i guess they couldnt be bothered to replace it with something more relevant.) whatever that was weird and confusing and unfunny moving on

frida is pretty irked that diego is going through with this deal. after all, it goes against everything they believe in. im not sure how the real frida felt about diego doing the mural, but she did feel a bit of rage during her visit to the united states, especially the obvious disparity between rich and poor. she hated having to interact with capitalists and found americans very boring. in this segment, frida seems to be acting more like the american communist party, which diego got kicked out of for accepting commissions from wealthy patrons. in any case, frida is pretty upset about this whole thing.

and finally we get the first and only kind of surreal frida moment. kinda. maybe. its more cartoonish than anything but im desperate ok

interesting how they felt like they had to add a “don’t smoke” in big letters after showing patty and selma flying away on their giant cigarettes. i wonder if this is something theyre making them do now? i remember hearing something about them toning down patty and selma’s smoking

diego comes home to frida, drunk as hell, followed by the marx brothers. i cant believe they didnt make a marxism joke come on it was RIGHT THERE. THE MARX BROTHERS. KARL MARX. COME ON

frida paints her feelings.

this makes diego realize that frida is a genius and he is not half the artist she is. he proclaims he will now show his awe of her by sleeping with other women, starting “an hour ago.” to which frida replies, “and i will start sleeping with other women, starting two hours ago.” yes this was pretty much their relationship. though im just wondering how the hell did diego not know frida was this kind of artist until now? i know homers an idiot but jeez. art was how frida and diego met, diego knew from the get-go that frida was an incredible artist. i guess the fame got to his head or something. again, homer just being stupid.

“well enough already, while the art is still deco, okay?”

its time for the mural diego painted, Man At The Crossroads, to be unveiled:

rockefeller examines it. good and great so far, and then...uh oh

“Who’s that fellow…? With the beard, and the bolshevik smile…” “That’s the founder of Soviet Russia, Lenin!”

“B-b-but he’s a communist!” “Oh he just attended a couple of meetings.”

rockefeller will not have this communist in the temple to capitalism that is the rockefeller center, so he orders diego to paint over it. diego stands his ground and refuses. despite rockefeller’s threats, diego says that theres only one person he wants to be proud of him no matter what and in true homer & marge fashion, frida is touched by this. they happily leave the rockefeller center.

now, the real story of Man At The Crossroads and the rockefeller center was actually not that different. as soon as the rockefellers found out diego had snuck in a portrait of lenin into the mural, they ordered him to paint over it, to which he refused. diego even offered to include abraham lincoln and even american abolitionists in the mural as a compromise, but the rockefellers simply did not want any references to communism whatsoever. they did not complain about the hammer and sickle, though. yes, they did know diego was a communist and hired him anyway. what did they expect? lmao. diego said:

"Rather than mutilate the conception [of the mural], I shall prefer the physical destruction of the conception in its entirety, but preserving, at least, its integrity."

so they decided to destroy the mural before it was even finished and they never talked to each other again.

diego then repainted the mural at the palacio de bellas artes back in mexico, this time known as Man, Controller of the Universe. this new version included even more communist leaders and a depiction of john d. rockefeller jr. drinking at a nightclub, right underneath a depiction of syphilis bacteria. cue nelson haw-haw:

this was the version they used in the episode also, since the original was, well, never finished and also destroyed. only a black and white photograph of it exists, taken by diego before it was destroyed so he could remake it.

right so, homer!diego then pulls a Barthood and finishes the episode with a large mural summarizing the entire episode. he says some rick and morty thing i didnt get because i dont watch the show idk idc

the end

ALRIGHT NOW ITS TIME FOR THE STORY OF VINCENT VAN MOE

[robintheredwonder]

Ratings for all Ninjago Seasons as I rewatch/first time watch them

Happy 10th anniversary!! Yes, I’m a day late, spare me.

But, I’ve just started rewatching all the ninjago seasons the other week and, now nearing the end of season four, I figured I’d rate how they did.

Season 1: Rise of The Snakes

This season does NOT get the credit it deserves. Sure, it’s sloppy at times, but they manage to set up our story in 13 episodes, as well as give us some compelling characters. Best character of this season is definitely Kai, I’d say. He faces the most character development and, despite surpassing some of his issues, they come back in the later seasons.

Overall Rating: Solid 7/10. Could’ve been better, but it’s their first season. They did a good job.

Season 2: Legacy of the Green Ninja

Hoo BOY. This one’s a trip and a half. This is, I feel, when the show starts to get consequences. It’s not just ninjas that spin around anymore-- Now they’re ninjas with trauma! Lloyd faces so much this season [like seriously, cut him some slack], and I feel like he faces the most development. Garmadon is also really well done-- Sure, from season 1 we see he doesn’t want to become evil, but I feel it’s genuinely enforced now with how much love he harbors for his family. Also, Zane’s dad!! Yahoo!

Overall Rating: 8/10. A pleasure to rewatch. Loved every minute of it.

Season 3: Rebooted

God okay. In my entire life I’ve only seen six seasons of Ninjago, and I’m currently working through all of them. But everyone that has heard me ramble about the tiny lego man show knows well enough this season has always been my least favourite. It’s not bad. Quite honestly, the story is good! But with only eight episodes and so much plot, it feels quite rushed. Still, this season has some of the best moments: Pythor’s return, Technology being a menace, Evil Wu, Lloyd mastering more of his powers, THE COSTUMES! Not to mention the ending??? Chills, tears are all over this season, and yet I cannot excuse the fact that it still feels rushed, at least in the first half.

However, upon rewatching it, it’s definitely better than I remembered. Perhaps I just needed to grow up and learn how consequences work and how it all feels. The feeling of there being able to be more if only they had more episodes still exists; But it’s definitely good.

Also, Jay and Cole break my heart. Just kiss already you gays.

Overall Rating: 9/10. The finale upped this one’s score A LOT. And I mean A LOT.

[Will be reblogged with the next seasons as I get through them!]

[trashyswitch]

Mr. And Mr. Sanders: A Love Story

When looking for evidence of 'opposites attract', you can look no further than the relationship between Logan and Patton Sanders. These two teachers are well known for being an open relationship through the decades that they've been working together.

Chapter 1: The Casual Days of a Married Gay Couple

One day, Patton decides to somewhat ruin Logan's serious reputation in favor of seeing him experience life and laugh more often.

For @kanene-yaaay, 305unreal.

I thought this would be a fun series to try and work on. I felt like writing some Logicality, and I started to wonder what it would be like to have married gay teachers in a school setting. Thus: this series was born! I hope you all enjoy!

Life as a high school teacher is most of the time, very interesting. Teachers often teach more than one subject, allowing them some variety in their day. A couple of the teachers teach a class, and also do a side job.

For example: One of the teachers is a child development teacher, and a resource teacher at the same time. He teaches two CD classes, and works on paperwork in the resource room the rest of the day. Sometimes, he overworks himself and has to get a supply teacher in for one of his class periods so he can catch up. But, he soon pulls himself into a good routine that rarely stresses him out too much. This teacher was Patton Sanders.

One teacher that teaches multiple subjects, is a man known as Logan Sanders. Logan is one of the school’s main English teachers. He was also given the chance to teach a couple history classes, since the main history teacher was on maternity leave. Though this probably would’ve stressed out most teachers, Logan was completely unphased by this new change. In fact, he was almost delighted to be teaching a history class! And to make things better, the kids were more attentive than he ever expected. He was almost thanking the main history teacher for being on maternity leave, so he could get this new opportunity.

Now, you’re probably wondering why both of the teachers had the last name ‘Sanders’. Was it because they were siblings? Were they twins? Were they related in any way? Well...Yes.

They are a married couple.

One day, the two teachers were hanging out in the teachers lounge while on break. Patton had gotten all caught up on his daily student updates, and had closed his laptop for the next hour or so. Patton stretched out his back and cracked his knuckles as he got out of his seat.

One of the teachers shivered and looked at Patton with worry. “Better be careful with how much you’re doing that. I heard it can cause arthritis.” the gym teacher mentioned to him.

“I have told you time and time again Smith:” The health teacher walked up to the gym teacher. “Cracking your joints does not cause arthritis.” She told him.

“Easy for you to say. I cracked my knuckles and wrists for years, and now look at me!” He showed off his wrists and hands. “I’m riddled with it!” He told her. Funnily enough, his hands and wrists were barely symptomatic.

The health teacher sighed and felt the pockets of inflammation in his wrists. “You’re overreacting. I know the diagnosis is heartbreaking for a fit man like you. But millions of people get arthritis! It’s a common hereditary disease. Your case is mild.” The health teacher told him.

The gym teacher sighed and sat himself down at the staff table.

Nearby, sitting on a couch with a laptop in his lap, was Logan. Patton hopped himself up to the couch and say down beside him. “Hi Logey.” He greeted.

“Good afternoon, Pat.” Logan greeted back.

“Whaaaat are ya workin’ on?” Patton asked.

Logan turned his laptop to face Patton. It was a powerpoint presentation on one of the WW1 battles.

“Oooooh! Getting into the big war?” Patton asked.

“Mm hmm. They already know what caused World War One, and we’ve already gone through a few of the battles.” Logan told him.

“Cool!” Patton reacted with a smile. Logan returned to working on the powerpoint, but didn’t really pay much attention to his husband. Patton’s smile dropped slowly as he started to notice this as well. Logan was just tappy-tappy-tapping away...not even noticing the man that had stolen his heart years ago.

Finally, Patton had enough. He gently grabbed his laptop, saved the powerpoint to the correct folder, and closed the laptop. “All done for now.” Patton told him.

“I...wasn’t.” Logan protested awkwardly.

“Well, I say you are.” Patton declared.

“Pat...you already finished your work. I haven’t finished mine, and I want to finish it while I still have the thought in my head.” Logan told him.

“Logabear: out of the both of us, you have the best memory.” Patton poked his head lightly, before moving his hair behind his ear. “I doubt you’re gonna forget something like that in an hour.” Patton mentioned.

“You’re being very dominating right now, and I’m not sure how to feel about it.” Logan admitted.

“Oooooh! Dominating, huh?” a teacher teased. A crowd of ‘ooooh’s filled the room as a wolf whistle was heard in the background.

“NO, that is NOT what I meant! I meant...like, loving! Comforting! Making me blush!” Logan told them.

“Awwww! You should see how blushy he can get!” Patton said to the teachers.

“Patton, is this necessary? I don’t- GAH!” Logan jumped and curled in as his side was squeezed.

“The most blushy he’ll get, is when he’s being tickled! Specifically on his ribs!” Patton told them as he skittered his fingers all over his sides and ribs.

“PAHAHAhahahat! Nohohoho! Nahahat ihihin frohohont ohohof- NO! NO NOT THERE! NAHAHAT THEHEHEHERE! HAHAHAHAHAHA!” Logan quickly bursted into laughter and threw his upper body back in a failed attempt to get away.

“Who’s a ticklish Logey? Who’s a ticklish Logabear? You are! YOU ARE!” Patton teased childishly.

“IHIHI AHAHAM NAHAHAT AHAHA CHIHIHILD, PAHAHAHAT! YOHOHOHOU KNOHOW THIHIHIS!” Logan protested through his laughter.

“But you’re always so mature! I wanna show everyone the playful, cute side of you I get to see everyday! It’s so cute and I wanna show it off to the world!” Patton told him happily.

“THEHEHE WOHOHORLD DOHOES NOHOHOT NEHEED TO KNOHOHOHOW!” Logan yelled.

“Awww! Is Logey gwowing embawwassed? Is Logey-pogey getting fwustered?” Patton whined in a little kid voice. “Don’t you smile! Doooon’t you smile! Doooon’t yoooou smile!” Patton teased further, causing Logan to grow a huge toothy grin with a blush as red as cherries.

“That’s so cute! Logan deserves all the love!” One of the teachers cooed.

“Out with the composed, and in with the cute.” another teacher added.

“I knew nerds were prone to be adorable, but I always assumed nerds lose their cuteness as they grow up! Looks like I was wrong.” Another teacher mentioned.

While Logan was getting tickled and teased by both Patton AND the teacher audience, someone else was watching the whole thing…

[Two hours later:]

Logan was nearing the end of an English work period, and most of the students had already handed in their assignments. Logan gave them a short writing exercise as a ‘ticket to leave’ quite a few minutes earlier, so it wasn’t a rushed hassle to get it done before the bell. It looked like the students managed to finish them really quickly because a pile of the small writing pages were on Logan’s desk, and the kids started coming together into their friend groups for the last few minutes of class.

One such group appeared to be laughing and having lots of genuine fun. So, Logan walked up to see what fun they were doing.

“What are you guys up to?” Logan asked.

“Uh oh...We’ve been caught by one of the serious teachers. Quick! Stop having fun!” one of the kids joked.

Logan rolled his eyes, but chuckled at the stupid statement.

“Come on guys, give him a break. See? He’s got a sense of humor too.” another student told them.

“Hey Cole: truth or dare?” One of the teens asked.

“Dare! Bring it on!” Cole replied with pride in his voice.

“I dare you to make us all your truth or dare partners.” She declared to him.

Cole widened his eyes and laughed as he got up. “Alright!” He replied.

Logan widened his eyes. “That is a very clever dare!” Logan reacted. “I am impressed.”

Cole smiled as he clapped his hands. “Okay. By a show of hands: Truth?” He called.

Only a couple people put their hands up.

“Or dare!” He called again.

The rest of the group threw their hands up immediately. Cole smirked as he thought about the size of the dare he’d need to do. “I dare all of you…” Cole paused mid-sentence to think of something fast. As he thought, Cole looked up at Logan and quickly felt his brain juices flow. “I dare all of you to tickle attack Logan!” Cole decided.

Hold up, WHAT?!

The kids turned to face him with a mix of confusion, and curiosity in their faces. “Is he even ticklish?” One student asked.

“I doubt a serious man like him would be ticklish.” Another student mentioned.

“Pat Sanders would say otherwise.” Cole mentioned.

Logan widened his eyes and slowly pointed his index finger at him in disbelief. “I...You- YOU SAW THAT?!” Logan reacted.

Cole chuckled as the kids suddenly started to see a different side of Logan. One of the kids walked up to him with curious eyes and her fingers wiggling. Logan immediately blushed and pushed the fingers away with an awkward chuckle. “Ohohokay...R-Remember what you learned in elementary school: hands off everyone, even the teachers.” Logan attempted.

The girl laughed. “You’re talking to a grade 12 class that’s half filled with adults!” She reacted, showing off the friend group. “You’re fine!”

The student walked right up to Logan and brought your hand up. “One squeeze?” She asked.

Logan just stared at the hand in pure awkwardness. Finally, after no answer yet no protest, the female student gently squeezed his side. Logan just about jumped 5 feet into the air and squeaked higher than a mouse! Logan covered his mouth and immediately felt his face heat up with a light red blush.

“T-Theresa…” Logan stepped another step back. “...No.” Logan warned.

“No...what?” Teresa asked.

Logan almost shrunk a few sizes down due to his embarrassment alone. “N-No...Nooo…” Logan struggled to get his words out.

“Nooooo…” She poked his side. “Tickling?” She poked with her left hand.

“Does,”

She poked his ribs. He squealed and backed up another step.

“This,”

She poked his belly. He hugged his stomach and cowered further from her.

“Tickle?” She asked, poking his arm.

Logan nodded and put his pointer finger up at her. “Teresa…” Logan kept it up. “...I...” Logan’s hand slowly fell. He had nothing to say. Even if he did, he would never be able to say it.

Teresa smirked as the rest of the kids stood up and started to surround the vulnerable teacher. Finally, Logan turned right around and ran for his life. He sprinted right out of his own classroom, and ran in long strides down the long hallway.

A pile of students were following right behind him, sprinting after him so they could tickle him to bits. Logan felt an immense amount of adrenaline...More than he’d ever felt in a long time. He could feel the floor almost vibrating with students’ steps as he struggled to run from the army of evil teenagers.

It was in this moment that Logan wondered: Why did I ever take this job?

Logan ran up a bunch of stairs and did all he could to not hit any other walking students in the hallway. He must’ve apologized roughly a thousand times as he sprinted and dodged people! Even as the hall monitor tried to stop the students, all the students spared them from being trampled, and kept on sprinting after Mr. Sanders.

Logan finally sprinted into the staff room as a lawfully neutral way to get away from them. Logan slammed the door with his back, and sprinted to the coat closet. Logan was so busy running away from the army of his evil students, that he didn’t even notice that Patton was in there! The child development teacher was trying to get some work done in peace. But that was slightly ruined (in a good way) by his hyper husband.

Wait a second...Hyper?!

Patton looked up and walked to the closet. “Logey? Sweety? Is that you?” Patton asked, opening the door.

Logan was panting profusely with a wobbly smile and a pink blush on his face. Patton giggled at the adorable look on his partner’s face. “Awww! What’s with the adorable face?” Patton asked.

“The...st-students...are...Pleasehelp…” Logan managed to get out.

Patton tilted his head and walked up to the staff room door. He opened it and widened his eyes:

There were a total of 20 kids standing there! “...Oh.” Patton reacted.

“Hi Mr. Sanders!” Cole greeted. “I’m Cole, and I dared all of them to tickle Logan.” Cole told him.

Patton widened his eyes and slowly grew a smile. “...Oh??” He reacted, not sure whether to be concerned or excited.

Logan gulped and hoped Patton would save him.

“So...are we allowed to come in?” Cole asked.

Patton looked at the end of the door before looking at Cole with a smirk. “How do you know Logan is even in here?” Patton asked.

“We watched him run in.” Teresa replied.

Patton giggled.

“Soooooo…” Cole awkwardly waited for Patton to reply.

Patton closed the door slightly and pointed to Logan’s ticklish spots. After showing them a couple times, Patton waved for them to lean in closer. “I will let you off the hook. But if the camera catches any of you, that’s out of my control. Okay?” Patton explained quietly. Cole, Teresa and everyone else nodded. “Okay. Wait on my presentation to come in.” Patton ordered.

Patton walked into the staff room with an evil smirk on his face. “Oooooh Looogaaaan!” Patton sing-songed. Logan’s eyes widened in horror. “Won’t you come out, Logey-bear?” Patton asked childishly.

“...P-Pat...What are you p-planning?” Logan asked.

Patton smirked and pushed the door right open. “A whole whack of tickle monsters are here to seee yooouu!” Patton declared.

All the kids sprinted up to the closet and pulled him right out. Logan yelped and struggled amidst their pinning, and quickly bursted into giggles as a few of his ticklish spots were targeted. There were so many hands tickling him! So many fingers! A few of them were pinning him up and exposing a few of his spots, while others were tickling him absolutely everywhere they could reach! Though, a few of the students mentally decided that thigh tickles and hip tickles were gonna be crossed off the list for obvious reasons.

“GUHUHUHUYS! COHOHOHOME OHOHOHOHON!” Logan yelled.

“Mr. Serious Sanders is turning into his husband! Soon, we won’t be able to tell the difference!” a student reacted.

“I love how Patton openly calls him Logey-bear! It’s so cute! Definitely suits him!” A female student mentioned with a giggle.

“Brohoho! This guy’s laughter is very contagious!” Cole reacted.

“This is the cute nerd stereotype come to life! And I love it!” A female student reacted.

“Who needs hot people like the gym teacher, when you can have cute nerds like Mr. Logan Sanders!” Yet another student reacted.

Patton giggled and recorded the entire thing. This was such a hilarious thing to watch! But Patton made sure to keep it onto his phone and only his phone. He knew how important his reputation was to his husband. So even though Logan’s reputation was somewhat shattered by his students, he wasn’t gonna further destroy his reputation with the video on the internet. Patton smiled and stopped the recording before walking up to the students. “Alright, alright. Let’s give the poor man a break.” Patton moved the kids aside and knelt down beside his lover. “You okay?”

Logan nodded in response, still a giggling mess.

Patton helped him up, sat him down onto the couch and got him some water. While Logan slowly got calm, Patton allowed the kids to ask questions about their loving relationship. Soon, the teens fell in love with the cute little love story that came about with the two men. They started to hope that someday, they would all have their own love story.

[epicbasher65685]

(Soo yeah a few people wanted to read this so here it is. sorry I can’t write for anything but I tried my hardest to get my head cannon across)

TW: descriptions of blood and gore, abuse

“What a fantastic song! No one could ever go wrong with the brilliant song “Let’s Misbehave” by none other than the darb Cole Porter!” Alastor exclaimed excitedly with his powerful transatlantic accent into the microphone. “Truly a marvelous performance. Anywho! The bayou killer strikes again! That’s right folks you heard it here first! The bayou killer claims their 11th victim! Oh the tragedy! There seems to be a pattern in this killer’s cycle. The moon cycle! Who would’ve guessed? And who will be the twelfth on the full moon? What kind of monster from hell could possibly cause this much pain and torture to both the victims and their families?” He questioned the listeners. His smile grew bigger at his sarcastic yet genuine sounding empathy. Deep within him he knew there was none. If he tried to look any deeper in himself the only thing we would find would be the rumbling of his stomach and it’s almost snickering like sounds, laughing mischievously and knowingly at his sarcastic line of questioning. Alastor reached over and closed the report he was reading from with a resounding thud, a look of accomplishment graced his face. The listeners were shocked with the news, seeing that the killer is still at large and could pounce on them or their loved ones at any moment. “Lock your doors and stay safe ladies and gentlemen! This concludes tonight’s broadcast. Oh oh! Almost forgot the regularly scheduled joke! Just to lighten the mood a bit. What happened when the cannibal was late for dinner? He got the cold shoulder! Ahahahahaha! See you tomorrow folks, stay safe!” He said brightly as he ended his radio broadcast, turning off his equipment and microphone.

The streets were full of Ebullience and joyful spirit. The year was 1933. New Orleans, Louisiana was really quite a marvelous and interesting place to live. Alastor McCarthy walked down the sidewalk in his clean white shirt and suspenders, shoes polished so thoroughly you can see the bright sun and the blue sky reflecting off of it! All the Cadillacs and Buicks cruised down the smoothly paved road. Almost everyone in this town knew Alastor. And Alastor knew almost everyone just as well. The lovely people waved as they saw him walk by, and he of course would wave back with a friendly smile on his face. He was always smiling! One happy fellow indeed, everyone would imagine. He walked down the sidewalk with a pep in his step softly humming to the bustling jazz that played from the gramophones in the nearby shops. He was making his way home now, it was almost supper and he needed to help his mother prepare it! Oh yes, Alastor loved his mother dearly, she was a true light in his life. People like to tease him sometimes and call him somewhat of a mama's boy. He would be lying if he protested this though. He truly loved his mother. His father, however, he did not. Just the thought of him made Alastors smile falter, just a smidge. He was a real goof, and a drunk. Alastor despised him, but only put up with him because his mother still loved him. Alastor could never see what an amazing woman like herself could ever find in a hunk of junk like him.

The noise of the streets died down as he started to approach his neighborhood. The walk from the radio station to his house was only a 30 minute or so walk. He figured it was good exercise and also an efficient way to build up his appetite. When Alastor wasn’t doing his radio broadcasts, he would find himself hunting deer in the nearby bayou. His father showed him how to hunt when he was a young boy. He had mastered the art of hunting and butchering the creatures he captured. Whether it be deer, rabbit, boar… human. His mother taught him the culinary arts, which he soon too mastered. He would help his mother prepare jambalaya, his favorite dish, when he was younger. He reminisced about those good ol’ days. Well, most of it at least. He had finally arrived home.

“Hello mother! Father.” He called out into the calm house. He took his shoes off and saw his mother appear from the kitchen.

“Oh! Alastor, how I’ve missed you dear.” She said lovingly as she ran toward Alastor to hug him. “How was your day? Anything exciting happening down in that ol’ radio station? I completely forgot to tune in today. Silly me. Apologies!”

“No need mother, it was just business as usual, quite copacetic! We had our top music hits and, well, a quite shocking report on the bayou killer.” Alastor explained

“Oh? Was he murdered? Oh oh! Caught by the fuzz? Hot dawg!” She exclaimed in excitement.

“...No mother, he was not. Always jumping to conclusions! Ahahaha. My, that’s just like you!” He said. Her words pained him only in the slightest. She obviously disliked this killer. Yet she unknowingly loved this said killer more than anyone else. He felt a sick giddy because of this. Why, he found it quite humorous! How twisted. “He’s claimed his 11th victim, unfortunately.” He said with a softer voice.

“Oh dear… how horrible. I can’t believe he’s getting away with this! Someone has to stop him eventually.” She said with sadness in her eyes. Alastor didn’t like to see her like this, not ever!

“Yes I know, quite the tragedy I’m sure. I heard he was a rude man however, a real dewdropper as some may say! The man had nothing going for him anyways.” He explained, or rather explained himself, for that matter.

“Darlene, when the hell is that dinner going to be finished?” Gus, Alastors father, yelled from the living room couch. He had just finished his twelfth beer of the day. Alastor could hear the subtle clinks of the glass bottle against the cup holder. Indicating that yes, he had indeed gotten drunk again.

“It’ll be ready in about half an hour dear!” She yelled back, Completely forgetting about the news of the bayou killer. An audible groan sounded from the living room in response.

“Alastor, would you be a dear and help me peel the potatoes for dinner?” She questioned

“Of course mother! Let’s get started then shall we?” Alastor asked joyfully.

Once dinner was prepared and the table was set, Alastor’s mother called for Gus to come and eat. Another audible groan sounded from the living room as Gus managed to stand up, very blotto from all his drinks. Without anyone seeing, Alastor was quick to drop a pill into Gus’s drink at the table. He then turned away and started to whistle an innocent jazz tune.

“Oh, Alastor, I almost forgot about the pie in the oven. Would you mind taking it out for me and cutting it’s pieces?” She asked him kindly. Alastor responded with a quick ‘yep!’ and put on the oven mitts. He took the pie out and put it on the stove. He took his mitts off and placed them back on the counter, only to replace them with a knife. Without hesitation he stuck the knife into the steaming pie. It smelt like delicious baked cherries. The pie oozed red juice and covered the knife. He continued to cut even slices into the beautiful pie. He stared longingly at his work, admiring the precise cuts and the knife dripping red juice. He licked the knife clean and saw his father's reflection walking into the room when he looked at the knife. He stared for a moment, then put the knife into the sink. Gus finally arrived at the table as everyone sat down.

“So what do we have here?” Gus questioned as he occasionally hiccuped. He had messy black hair and his eyes were half lidded. He wore a black vest with his tie sloppily tied.

“Well I made venison, mashed potatoes, and beans for tonight. That damn venison was quite tricky to cook, but hopefully I got it just right.” She explained

“I’m sure it turned out great, mother.” He smiled at her. Alastor eyed his father as he sat down. Gus started digging in with the slightest amount of politeness. Hungrily shoving the food into his mouth. Alastor sighed and picked up his utensils to start eating.

“What is it boy? You’ve got something to say?” He snapped at Alastor. Glaring at him with whatever amount of sobriety he had left.

“No, sir.” Alastor responded while staring at his plate. He hated this. He hated his father and he hated how he treated both him and his mother. Not to mention how rude he was. All of the bayou killers victims reminded him of his father. What a coincidence huh? No, he chose them very carefully, and he planned out every bit of it. Every time he killed them he imagined as though the person was truly his father. It gave him satisfaction and it quenched his thirst, for the time being. But this thirst would always reappear. He could never get rid of it through these involuntary murders of his, and he knew this. He knew it would only be a matter of time before… he would claim his final victim. That’s all Alastor thought about when he looked his father in the eyes. The twelfth. The twelfth. The twelfth. The second full moon. It will complete his design.

“Whatever,” He sneered at Alastor. Gus downed his drink in a few gulps. Alastor watched with a smile. Then Gus began to cut into the venison, and suddenly there was an irritated look on his face. “This venison is overcooked.” He started while he looked up at Darlene.

“Oh, yes I was afraid that might happen…” Darlene quietly said with a look of disappointment appearing on her face.

“Isn’t that just perfect? Maybe you should learn how to cook properly instead of having a gay ol’ time dancing swing like a flapper at the club down the road. Dumb-Dora can’t do anything right can you? Darlene was taken back by his sudden outburst. She apologized and told him it wouldn’t happen again with a tinge of fear spreading on her face and tears threatening to breach her eyes.

“Well, actually, I do have something to say,” Alastor said as he interrupted his mother’s apologies. “Maybe if you stopped getting bent everyday like a normal person, maybe people might actually like you! You’re such a flat tire and a real boozehound. You think it’s ok to treat us like this? For crying out loud you’ve been doing this for years! You just futz around and do whatever you want, when you want, and how you want!” Alastor exclaimed loudly at his father while eyeing him with a scornful look. He wasn’t going to let him talk to his mother that way, no sir! Enough was enough. Darlene looked at Alastor in shock. She really can’t believe he said that to him. A wave of panic hits her knowing what’s going to come next.

“Why, you little! How dare you talk to me like that? I come home after a long day and this is what I get? A cheap meal and a disrespectful family?” Gus’s voice grew louder and louder with every word he spoke. He pointed to Alastor. “You… I’ll wipe that stupid smile off your face permanently!” Gus stood up and walked over to Alastors side of the table. Alastor and Darlene stood up quickly, knowing this situation is about to become physical.

“Don’t you dare touch him!” Darlene shouted as she grabbed hold of Alastors arm. Alastor backed up while the adrenaline started coursing through his veins. Gus took hold of Darlene and threw her against the counter. She fell on the way down with a yelp hitting her head on the edge of the counter. Darlene’s vision started to blur and soon after she drifted into unconsciousness as she heard the faint yelling of Alastor.

“You absolute madman! Now look what you’ve done. You’re some real tough guy hm? Well, I’m sure you’ll enjoy my next show, you’re the super important participant, after all!” Alastor said with a growing smile. His creole accent slipping out for only a moment as he yelled. “Aren’t you excited?”

“What are you… talking about..?” Gus talked as his words became sloppy and quiet. The once calming and peaceful kitchen warping and turning in place as his vision grew cloudy and dark. His eyes lidded fully, the last thing he saw before he fell to the ground was Alastors prideful smile. Alastor thought Gus would pull something like this. All this commotion, that is. Yet it was in the back of his mind as was planning out his demise. He stared at Gus for a good while, lying there helplessly. Although this isn’t exactly how he planned it out, he was still ultimately satisfied with the outcome. That is, until he remembered his mother lying on the ground. Her nicely combed and silky brunette hair in a bun was now frizzing out everywhere, the bun loosened from the altercation. Her lids shielding her innocent blue eyes to what has become of her husband, and the truth of her faithful son. Alastor slowly picked her up and placed her on the couch. He took an ice pack from the kitchen and placed it on the noticeable bump on her forehead.

“Do wake up soon, won’t you?” He whispered to her. He kissed her forehead and made his way into the kitchen. He managed to pick his father up with a few strained breathes, grabbed the knife out of the sink, and walked out the backdoor.

It was about 8pm now, and the sun had already cast its final flare. Only to replace it, was a thoughtless moon. Alastor navigated his way throughout his backyard and soon into the bayou unseen. Gus remained unconscious and hung over Alastors shoulder. Once Alastor traversed deep enough into the bayou. He tied Gus up to an old bald cypress tree. It’s leaves spaced out enough to let the moonlight fall and flicker between them. A few moments later, Gus finally awoke to a conscious state. Confused and dazed to where he was, and how he got there.

“Hello lucky contestant! Welcome to my show!” Alastor exclaimed in a cheerful announcer voice.

“Al? Where.. where the hell am I?” He said in a choked voice. He tried to move his arms, but they were restrained by a tightly tied rope. “What the hell are you doing?” He said as his voice wavering. Alastor took out his knife and walked slowly up to Gus. Gus watched every little movement Alastor made, his adrenaline rising with each step.

“Oh you poor thing. Haven’t you realized what’s happening by now?” Alastor teased as he lunged playfully forward, causing Gus to gasp and defensively lean back in the tree. ‘How pathetic’ Alastor thought to himself. “What? Don’t tell me your giving me the cold shoulder! Ahahahahahaha!” Alastor laughed at his silly little inside joke. He lowered himself to Gus’s level on the ground and pointed the knife at his chest. “Boy that thing must be pounding! I think I’ll eat your heart first!” Alastor exclaimed once again. Gus’s face was pale with fear as the knife slowly etched its way inside of his chest, blood soaking his already stained shirt. He screamed in excruciating pain as Alastor carved all the way down to his waistline. Exposing his organs and blood to the everlasting moonlight. Gus writhed in pain as he looked Alastor in the eyes.

“Y-you…killed them?” Gus managed to choke out. Disbelief filled his eyes.

“Hmm? Oh! That’s correct!” Alastor said while he backed up, admiring his work. Alastor looked down at his hands and his cuffed sleeves. The blood dripping off of his hands was much more black then the usual dark red.

“My! The mother was right! Blood really does look black in the moonlight,” He said. His smile unwavering and as prominent as always. That was the last thing Gus saw as his vision started to melt away for the last time. Alastor kneeled beside Gus and pulled out his heart behind his rib cage. He took a big bite from it without hesitation, just like how one would eat an apple. He noted that it tasted almost the same as a deers.

Soon after, a sudden rush of panic struck Alastor as he heard a males voice calling close by. He quickly turned toward the sound and saw multiple men in the distance holding flashlights pointing in Alastors direction. He hopped to his feet in a frenzy and ran deeper into the bayou. It was dark and he could barely see where he was running, but all he knew was that he needed to get away. It was only a matter of time the cops had found him. The pattern was quite obvious, Alastor knew. Yet, he thought it was orderly and scheduled, and that was something he’s always taken to heart. As he was running, he recalled his fondest memories and previous murders as the cops chased him on his tail. He knew this was it for him, unless he could throw them off somehow. Quickly, he noticed out of the corner of his eye a figure. It was a lone deer. It looked him in the eye without movement. The deer eyed him knowingly. The full moon shining between its broad antlers.

Suddenly, the night and day remembered how they came to be. Alastor glared back at this deer, his smile wavering as he was shot dead in the forehead with a rifle. He fell to the ground as his smile fell completely. A hunter had missed the deer, accidentally shooting Alastor killing him instantly. Surely it was too dark for the hunter to have seen him. There was no hope for him. Then, the deer quickly ran off into the deep bayou startled from the shadow of nobody there.

[colehence]

Polyninja HC. Did you ever ask yourself how they all became a thing?

Some explanations first:

1. I hc that (before the pilots) Wu found Cole first, then Zane and a few month later Jay. I really can’t remember if there was something like that mentioned but I don’t care (pff, canon, why should we reduce our imagination to canon only? ^^)

2. I ignore Jaya for this. Sorry ^^

So, here we go:

When Cole and Zane met, there weren’t any words needed. They lived and trained together, there were gentle touches and words and tiny intimate moments from the very beginning.

Cole mentioned how much he loves cake and the very next day Zane skipped sleeping and made him the best chocolate cake Cole had ever eaten. Cole on the other hand noticed, that Zane loved listening to calm and relaxing music so he searched for the best songs, modified and recorded them new and gave them to Zane. 

They often cuddled together. They weren’t really together but it was all very calm and nice between them. There was no need to label themselves as a couple or anything. But when Jay joined the group he thought they are a couple. He felt really uncomfortable. Not because of them being gay, but he felt like an intruder.

That was the point when it all went down. Cole and Zane didn’t want Jay to feel uncomfortable around them and so they stopped being affectionate with each other. But they suffered a lot from this situation and somehow they had a lot of arguments. Zane was a bit left behind while Jay and Cole became friends.

When Kai joined the team it got worse (you know, they were really mean to Zane in s1). Cole felt his heart break every time he was mean to him but he couldn’t help and nevertheless continued with this stupid behavior.

After Zane learned the truth about himself and found his true potential, Cole couldn’t help but apologize for his stupidity. Zane was still shocked from all the things he had learned and needed his friend so much, that he forgave him everything. They became a real couple this time.

Jay felt so incredibly bad since he finally understand that they broke up (or something like that) because of him. And now he noticed, that he wanted to be the one Cole was that affectionate and kind with. He even thought about leaving the team after Zane and Cole now were together.

Cole convinced him to stay and their friendship grew. Since Jay suffered a lot from nightmares and Cole was there to comfort him, if necessary the whole night, they had a very special bond with each other.

Kai on the other hand didn’t notice anything and started to flirt with Cole whenever he could. At first it was just a joke but he was really impressed that Cole reciprocated his flirty allures and soon they made out in the bathroom (I’m heavily inspired by one of @neko-rina s beautiful lava pictures! https://neko-rina.tumblr.com/post/187472070898/do-not-use-trace-edit-repost-sell-render).

Too bad, that Zane walked in. But he simply said: “Kai, you could at least have had the decency to ask me to join in if you were approaching my boyfriend.”

That was the moment Kai realized Zane and Cole were a thing. He started apologizing. But Zane and Cole simply laughed. Cole kissed Kai on the cheek and said: “Nah, it’s alright dude. We already talked about this. It’s fine if it’s you.”

Kai was shocked and got angry because he thought they are pulling a prank on him. But no, they were serious and about a week later he started to flirt with both of them. Of course it soon became more than only flirting between the three of them.

Jay on the other hand was really confused about this situation and got really angry about it. But instead of telling the others, he just went quieter and quieter. Cole tried to talk to him, but since he didn’t know what exactly was wrong, he couldn’t do anything.

Jay met a lot with Nya at that time and the others thought he had a crush on her. But they were just friends. Nevertheless at least it was Nya who helped Jay to sort out his feelings for the other boys and the reason why he got so angry about the current situation. He realized, that he wanted to be a part of their relationship and that was the point when he found his true potential.

But still he didn’t find the courage to tell the others about his feelings and they on the other hand didn’t include Jay in their flirts since they thought he was straight and interested in Nya.

Nya was a smart girl and knew that the boys were too stupid to find a simple solution on their own. So she teased Kai a bit. She made a bet with him: He had to steal a kiss from Jay or otherwise he had to do her chores for a whole month. If he won, she would do his chores for a month.

Kai tried his usual offensive tactic and flirted with Jay but he failed badly and Jay was angry at him. Kai lost the bet. But, how Nya expected, Jay started talking to Cole and Zane again. They had a few nights out and were eating at restaurants, went to a funfair and finally, at the top of the Ferris wheel Jay told them that he felt like a fifth wheel in the team and that he just wanted to have what they had.

Of course Cole didn’t get the hint and still thought Jay was talking about Nya. But Zane smiled and took Jays hand. He didn’t say a single word, but the way he looked at him made Jay all flustered. He understood, that Zane gave him an invitation but didn’t want to pressure him.

It took a whole week until Jay gathered enough courage to join in the playful banter between the other three boys and, with a bit help from Zane, they began to include Jay.

It took a while and everyone was careful around Jay but in the end they realized, that Jay really wanted to be a part of their chaotic (but lovely) relationship and so they grew together.

And if you want to know where Lloyd fits in: Nya took care of him the most time and after the boys finally sorted out how they felt for each other, they became great brothers/dads for the little boy.

That’s all ^^

[witcherly16]

Anne With An E, A Love Letter

Spoilers ahead...

I have to start off by saying just how much I love this show. So many of the characters struggles I relate to deeply, I really can't offer it enough praise.

This show is not only fantastically true to its characters but also true to the reality of life during the 1890s. There is death and heartbreak, often from illness as there would have been at the time. There is the inconvenience of postal communication... and the lack of easy access of phones. It also plays out class and race struggle and the sexism of this time.

Season One

Season one so beautifully shows you the gift of chosen family, as a person whose mother was adopted and father's family mainly unknown apart from a deceased grandmother - I know what it means to find chosen family. What a gift it is to be connected to people not necessarily by blood but love. Anne is a troubled girl as we hear many times, she is a victim in so many ways and yet she is powerful and strong enough to not allow victimhood to dissuade her passion and love. She makes an incredible connection with Diana who becomes her best friend. In this season we also see the death of Gilbert's father, my father died a few months ago and was also very sick so with him I sympathise greatly. Death really does shake up your life in unexpected ways. Gilbert's subsequent travels overseas in the next season provide us with all new characters and social dynamics to explore.

Season two

This season feels a blur because so much happens, I watched the show in such quick succession that I struggle to remember what happens when. I do however remember the beautiful introduction into the first episode, it brings lightness and hope for Anne and all our characters. And the cinematography (chef's kiss)... This season is the one with criminal boarders, meanwhile Gilbert explores trinidad with his new friend Sebastian. This season shows us so much about life as a Black person at that time, the everyday prejudice despite being 'free'. It is certainly very topical at the moment and has great moments that display white privilege and includes crucial learning moments for the white cast when he is eventually brought back to Avonlea. This season also introduces the fiercely independent and strong Mary. Whilst the dynamic with Bash and Gilbert unfolds we have another story of discovery in Cole. This season is extremely eventful and in it Cole learns a lot about his sexuality after meeting aunt Josephine who is a lesbain and widowed by her female partner. This also introduces the idea of same sex partnership to Diana who is at first unsure but then comes to be accepting and loving. Anne and Cole's bond grows even stronger when he confides his sexuality in her. I have of recent been questioning my own sexuality, I always identified as one thing and now am unsure what the right label for me is... seeing this acceptance of Cole has given me hope for my own coming out to those I love, whenever that will be. Cole's story sets off another that had been developing througout season one, the romance between Prissy and her teacher. We learn that he is in fact gay and though he never reveals this to the cast, Prissy decides to be free, not to marry him as intended, and pursue education.

Season 3

We learn more about the previously introduced Miss Stacey, the new teacher. A huge inspiration to Anne's dream of teaching. This season is so much about self discovery and learning, much like seasons before. We meet new Indigenous characters, Ka'Kwet and her family who anne quickly befriends! Anne follows her passion of writing alongside the others for the school paper and in doing so challenges the town views on sexism and racism against the indigenous. All the while on a journey of finding her own lineage and about her parents. The final episode Marilla and Matthew find a book that was from her father to her mother, here she learns her mother was also a teacher. Interestingly I notice the book to be full of pressed flowers just like the one Anne had given to baby Delphine earlier on in the series. Gilbert's happy family found in Mary, Sebastian and Delphine is hugely disrupted. Mary falls ill and dies but before she does she is given a send off of the one thing she had always wished for, acceptance and inclusion. It is a terribly sad story but also a common one at the time. She leaves behind her baby to Sebastian and Gilbert who become a stronger family unit than ever. We begin in the end of the series to see the ups and downs of young love through Anne and Gilbert's growing and inevitable relationship. There are others in the picture but of course we know that he will be with Anne. Their story is so beautiful, and I adore that they don't sacrifice education for eachother. They get to be together even though they are far apart geographically. Their kisses in the last episode are truly beautiful and the long 3 series lead up makes it feel all the more realistic. It isnt a swept off your feet romance, it is a long and growing connection, a love that sits right under your nose.

Why it should be renewed

There are so many reasons I feel that it should be renewed, not just for love of the characters.

We have not gotten to further explore what is happening to Ka'Kwet and her family, the story hasn't been resolved.

With the kids in college it could make way for further exploration of being a woman in that time. Exploring sexism in courting etc.

Everyone wants to see Anne and Gilbert's relationship develop.

I would like to see Cole explore his sexuality more and maybe even meet someone, seeing more of the lgbtq+ circles of this time would be fascinating.

There is so much more to learn with Bash, I had expected a hint at an interracial relationship between himself and Miss Stacey. This could explore more of the prejudice of the time.

Seeing the role class plays in the Toronto medicine school with Gilbert. It would be interesting to see Gilbert learn more about high society outside of Avonlea and even him exploring the sexism in medicine.

I would like to see more class battles with Diana and her parents, to me it's inevitable she will want to marry someone below her class standing. It would be interesting to see Diana come into her own as Prissy did after her education.

Prissy, I would like to learn more about Prissy, I would like her to take over her father's business and be on a list of many other firsts for women in Avonlea.

Theres so much more I could add, there aren't enough words to express my feelings and thoughts on this show. Please do watch it and rewatch it and campaign for its return.

[five-wow]

Feel free to talk a lot about your theory of how McDanno was always stronger when there was heteronormativity nearby so that it was safe, and how that plays into the finale!

Ooh, thank you! That is an interesting question, and not one I had related directly to the finale before, though it certainly works on all kinds of levels, so I will take that “talk a lot” very literally and just ramble a bit.

Honestly, the most obvious way I think this comes into play is outside of the story, where the entire two-part finale (I’m including 10.21 here, since they were originally going to be aired as one) was about Steve and Danny and how important they are to each other and how Steve would probably have found a way to literally turn the entire island upside down and water torture gravity into dropping Danny into his arms if Danny’s disappearance had gone on for long enough, and then Catherine showed up in the last five minutes after having been mentioned like, twice, briefly, in the very last episode of this 22-episode season. The messaging felt very much as if “Steve loves Danny!” was being shouted at us on a loop and then there was a single “but he’s a HETEROSEXUAL man who is NOT GAY because he is HETEROSEXUAL” tacked onto the end in the form of a character showing up in a way that really made no sense for anyone, least of all her, which conveniently helped viewers dispell any thoughts about Steve maybe, y’know, wanting to be with Danny in more than one way. Catherine was not there for herself - she was there for Steve’s happy end, which needed to include a hetero love interest, because that is what a happy end is, right? The way they made her return, she was less of a character making a decision and more of a prop thrown at Steve’s character that was supposed to make us think “ah yes, now he can be happy again!” even though it went very much counter against what the entire season had been making us think a happy end for him would look like.

(Sidenote, this is also (part of) why it makes me very sad to see Catherine hate show up in people’s responses to the finale - I get that emotions run high and it’s easy to blame her for things, but she really, really, really isn’t at fault. As much as this ending wasn’t fair to Steve or Danny, imo it was also extremely unfair to Catherine. (Also, I don’t expect many people who ship Steve/Cath to end up reading this, but if anyone does, I just want to add that that’s super valid and if you did like the ending because your ship was given a very obvious and maybe unexpected chance, I get that and I’m happy for you! I personally don’t think it was a good move for any of the characters with the way it was executed, but I also deeply empathize with rooting for your ship and taking what you get, my gosh.))

(ANOTHER sidenote, I want to clarify that I don’t think the entire reason for the writers making Cath show up is that there was too much emotion between Steve and Danny in 10.21 and 10.22. It was an ending that didn’t rely on the logic of the story, but on viewers’ learned bias saying that any man + any woman = happy, romantic end. There’s obviously a lot more there, but it also happens to playvery nicely into the formula of Steve and Danny getting A Moment (or even Moments, plural) and then being shielded from the shadows of gay doubts by throwing in something sufficiently straight-looking.)

In story, though? In story this would also be a Whole Thing that fits depressingly well. I do think it’s fair to note that Steve didn’t really seem to have any part in his decision to fly off with Catherine - she showed up, orchestrated by other parties, and then he took her hand, but he didn’t ask her to come. That’s something, I guess! At the same time, he did kind of… make the choice to very literally run away from where Danny is after this whole Emotional Journey they (and Steve especially) went on. Steve’s been feeling off, like this comfortable spot he carved for himself on the islands wasn’t fitting anymore, and Danny was very obviously very worried and was immediately designated the unofficial spokesperson for the whole thing, because duh, everyone knows how ridiculously close they are. Then Danny got kidnapped (somewhat because of how much Steve cares for him, even though deeper down it’s mostly Doris’s fault, but obviously Steve would take on that guilt because it was just lying around - free real estate!) and Steve lost his mind and held Danny’s hand and Danny didn’t respond negatively to that at all, and they had some lovely moments. Then Steve decides he still needs to get away and up and leaves, so very literally leaving Danny behind. Then Cath shows up, unexpectedly, and lo and behold, Steve’s (former) Great Romance! The one that got away, as he just told Cole (so the audience would feel like this wasn’t out of the blue)! The woman he wanted to marry at some point and that he hasn’t seen in a year and a half (to the best of our knowledge) and the absolute perfect convincingly straight antidote to Steve’s emotional turmoil related to his male BFF/partner/dude he’s kinda married to and keeps telling how much he loves him. Once on the plane, Danny is not even there anymore and with the exception of Catherine herself there’s literally no one Steve knows present who could be judging him, but being a little ambiguously romantic with Cath might settle some of his own internal fears about where things with Danny were (once again) headed, so he takes Cath’s hand. It’s easy, safe, straight. All very comforting things.

And I just. The HAND HOLDING is my favorite part of the finale, honestly, because it’s so blatant. Steve holds Danny’s hand at Danny’s bedside, teary and praying to a literal God to make sure Danny is okay, and then Danny makes light of it by asking why Steve let go. Are they fighting now, Danny asks? That  implies holding hands is the normal state for them and not holding hands is Bad, even though two grown men holding hands is a very loaded thing in much of western culture and we’ve never seen them do it before because they’re very touchy with each other but in very specific ways, bound to very specific rules, and random hand holding is distinctly not okay under those strict social guidelines. And then. AND THEN. We close the episode with Steve offering Catherine his hand and Catherine taking it and Steve turning to look out the window and smiling vaguely, and the parallel kind of smacks you in the face and I find it both very funny and very sad and wonder if the writers even realized it at all, or whether maybe it was entirely intentional and meant as a nice nod to McDanno shippers because we were never going to get canon McDanno but at least this way we had, I guess, Steve’s implied hetero endgame romance play out in a way that also pretty literally happened with Danny earlier in the same episode, meaning that they’re at least sort of put on an equal footing? (Best way to interpret this: Steve is bi. It’s canon now.)

ANYWAY. Yes. I feel like this maybe veered off-topic, but I suppose the point is that Steve was allowed to hold Danny’s hand, but we had to be reassured he’d also want to hold Catherine’s, and Steve got to tell Danny he loves him and tear the island apart to get to him and ask God to take him instead of Danny and talk with Danny about how they both dream of a future in which they’re still side by side as old men while also currently living with Danny and both being single, but he had to then leave with Catherine so we would know that two single guys who live together and exchange I love yous while planning to grow old together aren’t actually [lowers voice to a hushed whisper] gay.

HOO! What a relief. I was really worried there for a second, guys.

(Also consider: all of that happens with Danny and it’s just guys being guys, just buddies being homies, just straight dudes being hetero, and then Steve takes Cath’s hand and maybe smiles a little and we’re supposed to infer it’s an epic romance. It’s fascinating to me how little straight you need to sprinkle in to completely even out the scales for most viewers, or even make them lean way in favor of “obviously he’s straight, why would you even think anything else, lol”.)