#if you can't handle that it's not my problem and it sure as hell isn't my fucking fault

[pocketgalaxies]

i'm gonna scream though, actually

[alexiroflife]

"first day"

fluff, happy fushiguro family, slice of life, megs' first day of school send-off

Synopsis: you've been dating toji for a while now and megumi subconsciously calls you mom for the first time on his way out the door

to sum it up: you adore the little family you've come to be a part of

WC: 1,701

Warning(s): none

"Megs!" you call out, standing by the front door awaiting the dark-haired boy's arrival. He soon shuffles around the corner from his room, throwing a bag over his shoulder with a tired expression on his face.

His father turns to watch him walk in, crossing his arms as he leans against the counter. "The hell were you doing in there that took you so long?"

"Nothing," Megumi grumbles, moving to brush past the two of you to rush to the door. "I just wanted to look presentable, that's all."

"So you took thirty minutes to get ready?" Toji quirks a brow.

"Believe it or not, dad, some would say that's not enough time to get ready in the morning."

"Not at all, actually," you agree.

Toji tugs the corner of his mouth in judgment. " Well, you should know," he says to you. "You spend at least ten years in the bathroom when we have somewhere to go."

You scoff, rolling your eyes. "That's such an overreaction. I never take any longer than an hour." Megumi and his father exchange knowing looks and you place your hand on your hip. "What?"

"Don't worry baby," Toji assures you. "It's okay to be in denial."

"We've timed it before. The last time we all went out to dinner as a family, you took two and a half hours to get dressed," Megumi adds.

"That's only because I had to shower and pick out an outfit then do my hair and makeup," you defend.

"Isn't that a little overkill? It takes me half that time to shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, and get some homework done."

"Whatever. Your sister would understand," you sigh.

"Unfortunately, she may be worse than you."

"Women," Toji tsks. You slap his bicep and he pretends to flinch, smirking down at you playfully. "Ouch."

"Alright, well, I'm ready now. I don't wanna be late," the sixteen year old says, turning back to reach for the door handle.

"Ah ah ah, wait!" you stop him. "You're not going anywhere without me getting a good look at you. Turn around, I wanna see how the uniform fits."

Megumi lowers his head and complies, turning back around stiffly for you to admire him. You press your hand to your lips to conceal your smile, eyes gleaming with pride as you look over the sharp navy jacket and pants he adorns.

"Awwww," you coo. "It fits perfectly! How does it feel?"

"Pretty good," Megumi nods, moving his arm around slightly to show his mobility in the fabric. "It's comfortable too. It shouldn't be a problem during missions."

"I still can't believe how quickly time has gone by," you muse. "You're already going into your first year at Jujutsu High! Are you excited?"

"You better be," Toji grunts. "Your uncle Gojo hasn't gotten off my ass about your enrollment for years. At least now, he'll finally shut up."

"I still don't understand why I have to have him as a teacher. He's such a moron, I doubt he'll teach us anything useful," Megumi mumbles.

"Moron or not, he's the strongest sorcerer of the modern age and he's helped out so much. I'm sure he'll be able to give you a good experience," you say positively.

"We talkin' about the same Gojo here? The one who trashed my house playing tag with Megumi and the dogs in the living room?" Toji points out and his son grits his teeth at the memory.

"Oh come on, Satoru was like twenty one back then. I can only imagine the crazy shit you've with the kids when you were raising them," you tease.

"You don't even want to know," Megumi exhales.

"Please, you came out just fine, didn’t ya?” Toji says, reaching out his hand to ruffle at Megumi's spiky hair. The teen recoils, craning his head away and shielding himself with his arm.

"Quit it. I'm not five anymore."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're all grown up now, I know. Gonna be a first-grade sorcerer before I can even blink an eye."

"Who said that I would be first grade? I'm only a first year."

"Yeah, and look at who your pops is," Toji grins. "Plus, you got an advantage that I never had. You'll do just fine."

Megumi hums indifferently, doubting himself momentarily but accepting the words nonetheless. "Alright, are we ready?"

"No, not yet!" you pull out your phone quickly and open the camera. "I need to get pictures."

The blue-eyed boy slumps. "(Y/n), I gotta go."

"I know, I know, just a few," you promise, holding your camera up to capture his awkward figure in the frame. "Okay, smile."

Megumi doesn't, and of course you don't actually expect him to. Instead, he calmly stares at the camera with his arms at his sides, unsure of what to do with themselves. Toji moves to stand behind you, leaning down to take a peak at the million pictures you're snapping.

"Toji, go stand with him so I can get one with the both of you."

The two groan simultaneously. "Doll, can we just focus on gettin' the kid to school?"

"It's fine. His stuff is already moved into his dorm. We have time."

"But-"

"Shut up and go stand with your son, now," you glare firmly up at the green-eyed man and he huffs.

"Yes, ma'am."

Toji raises a hand to his hip and tilts his head boredly as he stands beside Megumi, the two of them sharing the exact same blank stare as they look into the camera. You squeal happily. "You two are so cuteee!"

"We done, now?"

"No, I wanna get one more with Megs, and then I'm good." The boys give you a look, but you wave them off. "I mean it! Gosh, here Toji. Take our picture."

Toji obliges, grabbing your phone from your hand as you rush over to the tall boy. His expression melts into serenity as you place your hands on his shoulders and lean your head against his arm, smiling widely at the camera as a hint of a smile touches Megumi's lips.

Toji's heart warms at the sight, watching the way his son grows comfortable in your presence. The picture of the two of you looks so natural t to him like you are meant to be a part of his family, which he knows you are.

He snaps the photo and nods. "Got it."

You exhale, turning to face Megumi. You brush your hands over his shoulders to straighten his jacket, ridding it of any lint and wrinkles. "Okay, Megumi, please remember to be safe."

"I know. I will," he nods.

"And don't be too reckless when it comes to training."

"I won't."

"And try to make friends. I know how easy it is for you to push others away."

"I'll try."

You press your lips together with a final sigh, looking over Megumi's face warmly. You wrap your arms safely around him into a hug, your emotions getting the best of you. You have spent the past year caring for Megumi like your own, and watching him head off to achieve his goals makes your heart swell with joy and fear all the same.

"Text me or your father or Tsumiki if you need anything. Anything at all," you tell him. He returns your hug gently.

"Okay," he chuckles lightly and you pull away. "Don't worry, I'll be fine."

"...I know you will..." you pout. "Okay, I'll let you go. Good luck. I hope you have an amazing first day. I'll see you at the end of the week, yeah?"

"Mhm. I'll call you to let you know how the day went later."

"Please do."

Toji hands you back your phone and walks toward the door with Megumi. "Let's get a move on," he says. He leans over quickly to peck your lips farewell. "I'll be back in a few."

"Don't speed, Toji."

"Speeding gets you places quicker," he winks and you suck your teeth disapprovingly. Megumi opens the door, his dad gripping the frame.

"Bye, boys. Stay out of trouble," you wave, eyes glassy as you watch Megumi walk out.

"See ya, doll."

"Bye, mum."

The three of you freeze the second the words hit the air, everyone stilling in their tracks.

You feel your heart burst as overwhelming happiness consumes you. Megumi keeps his face forward, hiding his reddening cheeks as he processes what he has just said. Toji stares at the back of his son's head, eyes wide, before he turns to look at you to find your shocked, giddy face.

You don't have any time to reply when Megumi clears his throat suddenly, sweat dotting his forehead, and he walks rigidly out of the house and swiftly down the hall without looking back.

Toji stays behind, keeping an eye on you when you look up at him, stunned. "Did he just...?" you murmur.

"Yep."

Your eyes immediately well with tears and your lips wobble, your hands flying over your mouth. "He sees me as his mom?" you whisper.

Toji chuckles, ducking down to you with his hand still gripping the door. "Of course he does. He's always adored you. Him and Tsumiki."

"I'm gonna cry."

The assassin chuckles softly, pressing his thumb to the corner of your eye gently. "You're already cryin.'"

"Shut up," you sniff. "God, I love those kids so much. I just wanna give him all the hugs in the world."

"And you'll be able to. There isn't a better woman on this planet to be there for the kids," he kisses your cheek. "That's why I plan t'marry you someday."

"Fuck you, Toj. You're gonna make me cry even more."

"Sorry, baby. Can't help talkin' about it," he leans back to the doorway. "Let me get the kid squared away and make sure he's not dyin' of embarrassment, then I'll be back to talk to ya about makin' this official."

"You're being for real?"

"Of course I am."

You lower your hands and beam. "Tell Megumi I love him and get back here soon."

"I will," he hums. "But I thought you said no speeding?"

"Just- make sure the two of you at least get to the school in one peace."

He smirks. "Will do, doll."

[calisources]

𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.

All sentences here were taken from different media about possessive love, the thrill of the chase, banter, and competition regarding one's affection. Some have foul language so please beware but most are fun, banter, possessive fun. All of these are made for roleplay purposes. Change names, pronouns, locations as you see fit.

I love you. You’re mine. I’ll kill any bastard who tries to take you from me.

I spend a quarter of every day inside you. 

I have never said this to anyone before.

But the idea of you with child is the most insanely arousing thing I’ve ever imagined.

Your belly all swollen, your breasts heavy, the funny little way you would walk … I would worship you. I would take care of your every need. And everyone would know that I’d made you that way, that you belonged to me.

You want to be free. You also want to be mine. You can't be both.

We can't possess one another.

Just because I can't have you right now, doesn't mean I'm okay with him having you.

I will be good to you, Myst. Please, I promise.

You are mine. And I protect what’s mine.

Of course I won't go alone. I shall take my maid.

No.You will take me.

The purpose of a knight is to protect. Why won’t you let him do his job to me?

I want you all to myself.

I can’t explain to you the joy I feel knowing it’s all mine. That you are all mine, that your body is all mine.

There is something in me that wakes up when I want something, a possession.

God knows he deserved you more than I do. 

Listen well, for you belong to me.

Good grief, you’re such an adorably greedy person.

And when you fall in love with her  just keep in mind that she’s mine. 

 She’s more than you could handle, anyway.

That almost sounds like a challenge.

I don’t need your permission to do anything.

Your hands will touch me and no one else, Meadow. That is final.

You chase off every man that’s ever been interested, and you do it without even trying.

You reject every suitor and yet, you keep entertaining me. I believe you want me too, and you are dying to be touched.

I don't own you, you just belong to me.

You’re my gold, your cunt is my liquid gold. 

I will have your mouth, you will give it to me. Then I will have your spirit, Circe. I will own it. Always.

By the gods you have never been more beautiful than you are right now, spread before me, wrapped in my wool.

Once I take you, you are mine. My woman. No other man can have you.

I do not belong to you, or to anyone else. I will talk to whomever I want, whenever I want.

Not if it’s some ass who thinks he can put his hands on you.

You didn’t have a problem with me acting like a caveman last night.

When it comes to you… I don’t like to share.

Most men prefer to do the eating.

Do you know what passion is?

Most people think it only means desire. Arousal. Wild abandon. But that’s not all. The word derives from the Latin. It means suffering. Submission. Pain and pleasure, Nikki. Passion.

You’re wearing my colors, love.

I’m going to put you on your knees, Ruby. You’re going to hate how much you love it.

He is my king, he is my warrior, he is my husband and I am proud to say above all… he is mine.

You have rare beauty the like I have never seen but you will be more beautiful heavy with my seed.

You are my golden queen. You are my tigress. You are my Circe. 

Never will I allow your gold to be taken from me. Never. Understand this, Circe, and never forget.

Maybe I fell in love with a version of him that didn't exist.

 I would have you right here if you would let me. Fear you? I exalt you. 

You could burn me a thousand times, and I would still want you for my own.

Everything has a price. The price, however, isn't always money.

You’re my scariest hell, You’re my perfect paradise.

Well, I admit my crib is pretty sweet. But a gold cage is still a cage, Harry.

I intend to the last. 

If I win, then you shall be mine. Tonight.

You are so sure of yourself.

The game is simple. The women run, the men chase. If you catch the one with your color. . .well, that’s up to you.

But women have been running all their lives, most men don’t catch that easily.

We are in a maze, lost, and your hand is up my skirt.

Aye, but I don’t hear any complaints. The maze will hide our secret.

[notmorbid]

one little spark.

dialogue prompts from one little spark by ellie banks.

you little asshole.

everything is annoying today. everything.

i've always liked a little scorched earth.

i've never seen the point of going out with quiet dignity and grace.

you like problems.

whatever i do, i do right.

a combination of age and life have left me absolutely fuckless.

you don't need me to take care of you.

has anyone ever told you that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?

being single is so damned weird.

i'm fond of crashing through caution tape.

if he doesn't take care of you, i'll hunt him down and kill him.

starting small is not in my wheelhouse.

you never seem afraid of being wrong.

how did you get here so fast?

always the dangerous choice.

you don't understand what you saw.

you deserve to have some closure.

sometimes i want to burn this place to the ground.

i'm not sure if it's a dream or a memory.

shut out what you can't control, and focus on what you can.

i try not to engage in wishful thinking, but sometimes it's hard.

maybe it's me. maybe it's that 'bad blood' shit.

if i can't trust you, i can't trust anything.

are you taking care of yourself?

what does 'normal' look like right now?

cheating in your head isn't a thing.

i want to figure out how to embrace what i have left.

do i have _____ on my face?

it's okay to feel like you don't know what you're doing. that's normal.

i don't feel like anything about me is very normal.

i keep grudges like other people keep cats.

sometimes you have to take steps forward, even if they're not in the shoes you would have chosen.

i couldn't stand letting you see me struggle.

everyone has secrets.

you weren't a mistake to me.

no one's ever looked at me like that but you.

it's okay to not know what you feel.

i want you to never blame yourself. for anything.

i was a little bitch to you, and i'm sorry.

why do people like uncertain women so much?

if you were happy, you wouldn't be here.

simmer down, kid.

this isn't a happy place for me.

guilt is different from shame.

what's the difference between god and a surgeon? god doesn't think he's a surgeon.

i always end up telling you my secrets.

how do you think that would've gone, you and me?

____ felt like the safe choice.

i know you can't rebuild from ashes, but you can build something new on top of them.

i would have been there for you, if you'd have let me.

did everyone know but me?

i'm married, not dead.

at least i say what needs saying.

it's not actually hard to be nice to you.

i don't have time for feelings. i've got shit to do.

you're kind of an asshole.

if you can't handle a woman scorned, don't scorn one.

life is a lot more complicated than anybody wants to believe.

i felt like a teenager when i saw you.

you're as afraid as i am.

why aren't you angry with me?

i want us to get to know each other again.

it has been a very long time since i've been on a date.

i don't know why anyone would choose to be single.

you fascinate me.

i don't have time to sit around and marinate in subtlety.

you've been kind of a secret fantasy of mine for a while now.

i always knew i was the main character. thank you for supporting my narcissism.

this will never be over, will it?

no matter what, i want to know you.

i'm going to pour wine.

i really like you. i wasn't supposed to.

i'm trying to just enjoy the moment, but i'm bad at it.

i didn't have words for it then.

i thought maybe things would improve with distance.

when did we finish having all our easy conversations?

you've never liked sunrises. you hate getting up early.

you're my girl. you always were.

for once in my life, i wanted to be the one who got picked.

i wanted to make you my enemy, but you aren't, are you?

you aren't innocent, but you aren't evil, either.

i'm never the bigger person. not for the hell of it.

i don't know if i knew anything about my own life.

i'm not sure what i'm remembering and what i'm dreaming.

the truth will come for you, if you don't come for it first.

'should' doesn't fix anything.

was i ever there for you, or did i just torture you?

i remember the first time you held my hand.

in my lowest moment, you kept me safe. from myself, from everything.

i tried not to think about it. i didn't tell anyone.

i'm really not mature enough for this.

timing has never really been my strong suit.

i'm just hormonal. it's making me weird.

i wanted to make sure that you were taken care of.

don't ask questions you don't want the answers to.

i want to be as strong as you are. that's all i want.

i don't see a way forward without you, one way or the other.

you made my life here not hell.

you can be sorry and still forgive yourself.

your conscience isn't my problem.

i'm not one to argue with fate.

you got your character arc, after all. good for you.

[coff33andb00ks]

45 + lando caus i need some angst in my life rn

"Lies. Just lies."

driver + number = drabble <3

angst and lando go together like me and red flag men tbh

warnings: angst, mentions of mental health struggles, accusations of cheating, lando's not a good bf

He hasn't looked right lately. He hasn't looked right since...

Miami, really. Once the exuberance of his first win wore off he's been... Different.

At first you could ignore it. Lando prefers it that way - just ignore it until he's ready to talk about it. He'll always struggle with his mental health, you're aware of that, and over the course of your relationship you've grown accustomed to how he handles it. You may not always agree with how he does, but you can only stand by his side and offer support.

Rather, you would, if he'd let you.

"You don't have to come this weekend," he's saying as he packs up for the trip to Austria.

You blink,freezing in front of the closet. You know that most of the other girlfriends and wives don't go to that race - darling there's literally nothing to do? - but it's one of your favorite tracks. The scenery, the atmosphere... You love going there.

Lando knows this. And he doesn't want you to go.

"Heading straight home after the race, spend a couple days with the family," he continues, either not noticing or not caring that you're looking at him with annoyance and worry. Zipping up his suitcase, he pushes it to the floor and rolls his shoulders. "So I'll see you at mum's?"

Don't say it don't say it don't say it–

"Oh am I allowed to go there?" you ask, surprised at the bitter coldness in your tone. You can remember when snapping like that would have Lando overflowing with apologies and reassurances. Now, he barely flinches, and you feel dread chilling your heart.

"Go. Don't. It's whatever," he says, his jaw tense.

"Lando–"

"I get it, alright?" He grabs the hoodie lying on the bed and pulls it on. "You don't like my family anyway."

"What are you talking about? I love them," you insist.

He snorts, running his fingers through his hair. "Sure."

And you finally snap. Fuck waiting around for him to be ready to talk. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Lando isn't meeting your eyes. "Nothing," he says, gathering his wallet and phones. "Just tired."

"For almost two months?" you ask, trying to keep your voice calm. "You've been like this since Miami–"

"Like what?" he asks, and you notice he's growing more tense.

You gesture aimlessly. "This," you whisper. "What happened?"

He opens his mouth and you hear his slow inhale. But instead of speaking, he snaps his mouth closed and shakes his head. "Nothing. I'm just stressed, okay?"

The words slipped out before you could stop them. "Did you cheat on me?"

"Babe no, of course not. I'm just... Tired."

"Not too tired to go out every weekend."

"So I can't have any fun?" he asks, rolling his eyes.

"Lando, we–" You stop when you see him grabbing the handle of his suitcase. "Lan–"

"I gotta go. I'll see you in England. Or not."

"We promised we'd talk about problems, Lando," you say, following him from the bedroom. "You said–"

"Lies. Just lies." He slaps a cap onto his head. "Because neither of us wants the truth do we?"

And with that, he leaves, the slam of the door echoing in the apartment.

[thehelltingvilleclub]

Helltingville Epilogues

Want some old men? have old men and the lonely rat bastard Captain Dickey.

From left to right:

Jerry - Mandi - Cherri (Left) - William "Buck" Titus (Right) - Bill - May - Pete - Jane - Amari (Matt's younger sister) - Josh - Matt

dude this took me too long

but man do I love all of em

Jerry and Mandi don't end up together permanently-- but they do have their kids together. I genuinely imagine Jerry ends up like Scout TF2 style as a single dad to like 4 kids but he loves them all equally and gives them all the attention he can.

And when he can't handle them all, he'll just drag Bill over and make him deal with them.

Yes, in Helltingville the gang stick together.. kind of. Like old friends that happen to live nearby-- they meet up occasionally, they keep tabs on each other online, they might even have a christmas party together, but they definitely are not hanging out regularly like they did as kids.

Jerry and May's anxiety can't take it, Josh's heart can't take it, and Bill can't take the guilt of knowing that, so its sparingly, but they'll keep in touch.

During the heavy confrontation after Comicon and after, Bill kinda.. hit rock bottom? Like if he hit rock bottom as a teenager then he hit the bottom of satan's fucking boot. Getting reemed out by Matt, disgusting looks from everyone and even his sister, seeing everyone so happy without him--

he struggles with that, and he hates it. He gets so unbelievably angry with himself for being both equally stupid and selfish. He shouldn't be upset about this! They're just stupid fake fans that don't understand him, right? then why the hell is he three bottles in and he still feels like shit?

Jerry and May keep tabs on Bill the most, checking on him and forcing him into therapy. Jerry uses him as a free babysitter, May enjoys the company when she isn't on set with Pete, and Bill isn't passed out drunk in his mom's basement.

Jane and Amari were enemies in high school, they actually hated each others GUTS. Amari was captain of the cheerleading team and Jane had her punk girl gang. And yet, in college, they managed to get together and put aside their differences. (Plus, Amari has the same infatuation problem as Matt... and her type is scrawny women that could stab a bitch, apparently).

Matt does develop a bit.. of an alcohol issue. He's so stressed from work, worried about Josh and his health, BILL being ALIVE, Bill being NEAR HIM, Bill staring at his SISTER bro his liver is crying.

Josh.. kind of knows. He can tell that Matt drinks at dinner and maybe a sip or two before bed, but He doesn't want to step out of line and make Matt upset. The last thing he wants is to upset his fiance and get yelled at again for being useless. He doesn't need to go down memory lane.

Cherri develops a vocal stim similar to Jerry, and struggles to talk otherwise and is usually hiding behind him whenever they aren't in their room. Buck, on the other hand, will not stop asking questions or shut the fuck up. this kid has enough energy to power the sun and his brain never turns off. Sorry Bill, you're gonna have to explain the entire Star Trek lore because you mentioned Star Logs and did the Vulcan Salute and now he demands to know what that is.

May works with Pete on occasion, mostly on a commission basis from Butchie. She helps make props and walks new actresses through the ropes and makes sure they're safe on set. Pete is just happy his woman's with him and you BET he brags "guys look at my girlfriend god I love her--"

And yes, they're looking to name their kiddo Sidney, but it's still a toss up. Bill says the name sounds dumb but won't help May pick any new ones to add to the list, so his opinion can get stuck in a meatgrinder.

Guys i have too much to say about them.

[six-eyed-samurai]

I had an idea for a bonten oneshot where the bonten members try to strike a deal with a reader who has the same role as Kuro the information broker from gachiakuta!

You don't have to it if you don't want! Take your time! I love your posts!

<3

SUMMARY: Bonten gets a little more than they bargained for. A/N: SORRY IM SO LATE I've actually thought about this idea a lot and how could I not add Kuro's iconic car chase >:) Ironically I love cars and racing but I'm ready to throw up the moment my dad speeds over a bump... WARNINGS: Reader highkey a lil shit here

🌸How'd the old saying go again? If you make a deal with the devil, be prepared to lose your soul, wasn't it?

🌸The situation Bonten’s found themselves in was exactly like that, except you look nothing like a devil and they'd probably lose everything but their souls and this was less like a deal and more of a one sided battle when all the odds were NOT in their favour.

🌸You've got that kind of glib coyness about you, a pretty person's absolute faith in everyone's helpless chivalry - if not because of it and your importance to their current problem, Sanzu would've probably murdered you on the spot for making them all wait so long for you to show up. Your apologies are about as real as the flowers in the meeting room's vase, but everyone grits their teeth and accepts it. You're annoying to deal with, oh so very manipulative and mysterious and does “straight answer with a reasonable price” just not exist in your book?

🌸But you're a pretty thing, and even if you sweetly threaten the Haitani brothers with your knowledge of their addresses, bank account passwords and what they ate for breakfast they're going to try and flirt with you anyway.

🌸“Don't piss off the information broker.” Mikey's words always went in one ear and out the other when it came to you. Then again you love toying with their buttons, so whose fault is it really?

🌸It sounds so wrong to say but Ran has no shame in saying his type is someone who hates him, wriggling his eyebrows in your direction suggestively. You occasionally behave like all those gushy-giggly girls from the clubs, true, but at least you've got bite, not falling all over yourself to climb into his bed. You're a goddamn expensive tease, Rindou would grumble as you somehow managed to manipulate him into playing cards and gambling everything in his wallet away, AGAIN - the info you've given better be good, if this is the price.

🌸Koko probably hates you the most. Your smile, directed at him, is wide and you absolutely know that. It's probably because he's the one handling finances and dealing with you was like handling a vacuum that just. Won't. Stop. Sucking up all their money and ruining the budget! Every time he's forced to settle your payment, he's in his own personal hell. Why make his life easy by naming a simple price and payment, when you could demand he buy you a new car and cover all expenses that come with it, petrol, repairs, insurance?

“Why can't we just give you thirty thousand for this?” Koko groaned and rubbed his temples. One tiny slip of paper from you cost him several grey hairs and out the window the budget goes again.“It won't kill you to be straightforward, will it?”

“It'll kill me to be boring.” You lean forward and pat his cheek condescendingly.

You're lucky you're the best in the information business. The only thing Koko can grudgingly like about you is that you're efficient and you're never wrong.

🌸Kakucho isn't that fond of you either. You're too wily and cunning for his liking, always with some double agenda with your demands. Or maybe he doesn't like you because he once was unlucky enough to be assigned to take you out on your latest shopping spree and you ditched him the moment some thugs showed up, leaving him flailing while trying to protect all the bags you'd make him carry.

“Hey, hey, don't be mad, I'm sure your boss will be even madder if he found out I got in a, ah, little scuffle and bumped my head, therefore losing your insider information on Harashima Corporations, wouldn't he?”

🌸Ironically you like him the most. Probably because Kakucho is Kakucho and he's reluctantly the nicest to you. Not that being your favourite is fun - you're always requesting him whenever you show up with that irritating little wave and a sing-song “Morning, Kaku-chan ~” The ruder he is to you (which isn't much; it's Kakucho, what did you expect?) the more you'll just wipe a “tear” from your eye and chuckle to yourself..

He's not sure how to feel about you, honestly, because on one hand you save them a lot of trouble with your info…but is playing your ridiculous games worth it?

🌸Funny enough Sanzu tolerates you the most and yours and his interactions are by far the most peaceful, most cordial. Perhaps it's because he's crazy and murderous enough that even you're a little wary of playing around with him, especially after the little incident when you'd called him “Rosie” on your first meeting. You learnt to watch your mouth (and your hands) after that around him, even in more often than not you fail.

🌸Or perhaps it's because Mikey finds you useful, useful enough to keep you around and call you to Bonten's aid constantly, so by extension Sanzu finds you useful and so he won't decapitate you - whatever pleases Mikey, right? (You fixed the haircare trauma he suffered after Baji, even unintentionally, that’s why.)

🌸He’s actually fun to be around though sometimes! You, him and the Haitani brothers, on the occasional day you all share a brain cell (or you manipulate them all into sharing it with you) are a new source of fear for Tokyo’s underworld…and a headache for the rest of the executives.

🌸But right now, you’re a headache for all the executives. For a few measly documents, you want a what?!

“Are you deaf? I thought I was pretty clear, hmm.” The audacity of you, even checking your nails at a time like this! “I said, if you want the info, race me. If you win, I’ll give it to you and our next deal will be a hundred per cent free of charge.”

“And if we lose?”

“Well, you can start by giving me VIP access to all your clubs.” Your smile is angelic; your wink at the Haitani brothers was anything but innocent. “So? Race, no race?”

🌸Unfortunately yes race.

🌸They can’t legally say it out loud, per se, but they’re actually…pretty hyped up about a motorcycle race. It’s been so long since they’ve had any fun, what did you expect?? Except Koko. Koko declared he’d washed his hands of this affair, but apparently he had snitched after all - Mikey showed up right as it was about to start, deadpan as ever and demanding to know what the hell was going on?

You clap your hands, a little celebratory “yay”. “Mikey! Glad you could join us - had a feeling Koko might rat us out, or you might’ve noticed I pulled a couple strings to get them to close off this road.”

He stops short in front of your bike. “What are you doing here?”

“Don’t blame them, they’re only upholding their end of the deal if you all want those documents.” Tantalizingly you produce a USB drive from your pocket and wave it around carelessly. “Want to race? I’m afraid only one of you can though. I’m not that arrogant.”

“…you know I could just get those documents from you another way, right?” It’s matter of fact, the way he says it. You know it’s true. He could simply put a gun to your head, throw you in jail, torture you, et cetera et cetera. But he won’t and you know it.

“You could try. But too bad this thing will die with me if anything should happen - and who else will do your dirty work for you in the future?”

“…fine.”

“I knew you’d see it my way!” You patted his head condescendingly. “I’ll explain the rules now-”

“But you’re racing against me.”

Well. Things just took an interesting turn.

🌸One look is enough to silence the protests from Sanzu and Kakucho, to quieten the grumblings from the Haitani brothers; but maybe it was for the best. Reluctantly they moved away from their own bikes and let their boss examine them to pick one, heading off to the sidelines under your direction - “No, no, Ran, you can’t stand there, stand here.” Mikey was the invincible Mikey after all. In what universe could he possibly lose to you, especially in a biking race? You’d be an idiot to try-

🌸(Except…you’re not an idiot. You already guessed Koko ratted them out. You would’ve known Mikey would show up…could you have guessed he’d join too? What’s your game here?)

🌸“It’s very simple, Mikey! All Bonten has to do is stand on the finish line before me, or else the drive stays with me and I get VIP benefits to every single club you own for free.” You clap and secure on your helmet, flashing him one last cheeky grin. “Think you can do that?”

“Ready, set, go!”

🌸Mikey should’ve known from the start racing with you would never have been that straightforward - doing anything on your turf and terms never was. You were fast in your own right, and in any other circumstances Mikey might’ve been able to overtake you.

🌸But nooooo. You just had to make things harder by conveniently forgetting to mention the obstacles in place; pedestrians were still around to avoid and gawk, and you had decided to use the road with the most potholes in all of Tokyo, little shit that you are. You’ve got the upper hand here, already aware about all the things you’ve set on his path and easily dodging and swerving, even turning back to give him a little wave.

🌸Yet, this is the most fun Mikey’s had in a while…he’s almost forgotten the feeling. (What feeling? This feeling, just like when they were all younger and freer and just running around Tokyo on their old bikes, thinking Toman was their whole world, before anyone had di-)

🌸Then, incredibly, impossibly -

“…you won. You - you won.”

🌸At this point you’ve got the whole Bonten ready to get on their knees and start the worship because holy sweet mother of god you beat Mikey. Mikey. MIKEY. They probably would too, if everyone wasn’t too busy gaping like you like a couple of goldfish, something you’re quick to point out with a cheeky, tongue-out expression that could rival Koko’s. “Hey, close your mouths before a fly builds a nest.”

“And I didn’t win. I said first to stand on the finishing line wins, didn’t I?” Your grin widens. “Check your feet~”

“What-”

Oh. You minx. You had Ran standing on the finishing line before the race even started.

“HEY -” Hello?! You won the race? What is this roundabout loophole?!

Aaand you’re off, motorbike revving and leaving them in the dust like the badass mystery that you are, USB drive neatly thrown into the air and caught by a shell-shocked Mikey. “Ta! I had fun, I look forward to our next deal!”

🌸…god, what a pain in the ass you are to make deals with. A regular devil indeed.

BONUS:

“-cheeky, tongue-out expression that could rival Koko’s-”

The white-haired Bonten executive sneezed violently in his office, grabbing a tissue hastily. What the…did someone mention his name? The dumbass author who can’t end this oneshot properly probably…Holy shit. What was this sudden chill he felt down his spine? There was nothing in the office - why did everything feel so scary suddenly?!

“-motorbike revving and leaving them in the dust-”

“JESUS, STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!”

I’m sorry.

[tapiocakisses]

touya todoroki (dabi) nsfw alphabet

tags — implied demisexual dabi, gender of partner isn't specified, nsfw content, switch dabi, switch reader

warnings — brief mentions of pregnancy / breeding, mentions of daddy kink, mentions of sa (in the 'no' section), maybe ooc (sorry)

for @skrunklystraycat & touya's bday !!

A — AFTERCARE

Now, Dabi isn't careless, but he wouldn't be as attentive as someone like Keigo. Dabi would clean you up, muttering about a mess on the bed and how he doesn't want to "sleep on a sticky bed". If he is the one who's worn out, he'll have a level of expectation for being doted on. He's an indulgent man when it comes to your attention.

B — BODY PART

Dabi loves your hands and hips. He lobes how he can grab at them and pull you to where he wants you. Having you where he wants when you guys fuck is one of his favorite things. He loves how your hands feel grabbing at him. His hair, his arms, his sides, his own hands, etc. He loves being held by you. Even if you're being rough with him. (ESPECIALLY if you're rough with him.)

C — CUM

Dabi cums a lot. Like, a lot. My god. It's like he holds it in for days before he finally cums. When he paints you white, he really points you white. It's worse when he's edged. Poor Dabi and his cute, sensitive dick.

D — DIRTY SECRET

This isn't exactly a secret, but it doesn't come up since he's a villain, and the consequences would throw a wrench in a lot of plans he has. Dabi has a breeding kink. He doesn't want to be a father in any way, shape, or form, but he can't help how his body reacts. The thought of filling you up raw round after round, finally stopping to see how his cum dribbles out of you. (This is why he never looks after he cums inside you.)

E — EXPERIENCE

Virgin. Pathetic loser virgin who never had pussy or dick. He's not suave. He is not a savant at sex. He's a horny virgin who gets flustered at being called pretty. That man can NOT handle sex in the slightest.

F — FAVORITE POSITION

Cowgirl. Dabi loves laying back and watching you bounce on his dick. You look so pretty when your back arches when he thrusts up into you. It feels good to know he can let you have all the control sometimes. (He will fuck you in missionary if he's jealous, though.)

G —GOOFY

Dabi is fairly serious during sex. His focus is feeling good and making you feel good. Though, in the early stages of your relationship, he's pretty awkward and

H — HAIR

Dabi keeps himself pretty well groomed. He's not the most strict about it, but he doesn't leave it unattended. He really only grooms it once it gets annoying or uncomfortable. It's not like his hair grows that fast there, so he has no routine.

I — INTIMACY

This depends. Dabi likes things rough, intense, and sometimes mean. That's all he's known after all. So, he may not be the most intimate in any way in the beginning. He's a kinky bastard and he knows it. Sex is just sex. The problem with that is the fact that his layers are being peeled back. Slowly, they'll peel, but it happens. He doesn't need to put up a facade. You can bring up the fact that you'd like more intimacy in bed, and he'll acknowledge it, but it'll only be a few weeks later when he finally takes your hand in his. Not to pin you down or pull you in any direction, but to simply hold.

J — JACK OFF

It's not super often Dabi spends time by himself to get off. He only does in certain circumstances. Usually he's fisting his cock like no tomorrow when he misses you. Hell, even when your shirt rides up and your abdomen is exposed. He can't help it. You're perfect in every way. His hand doesn't compare, but he doesn't dare use a toy unless it's on you.

K — KINK

I think Dabi would be into just about anything. Choking, slapping, bondage, primal play, spanking, overstim, etc. He's a versatile man. He'll give and take whatever he is willing to endure.

L — LOCATION

Dabi likes fucking you in risky places. Sure, the privacy of a bedroom is nice, but if he's feeling dominant, he'll do it somewhere like in a stolen car or an alleyway. He likes fucking you in places that

M — MOTIVATION

You.

N — NO

No matter how nonchalant and uncaring Dabi seems, I know he has his limits. I genuinely think he wouldn't be into forcing someone into sex. Does he like control and security? Yes. But anything like a rape fantasy has him turned off instantly. He only hurts people who deserve it and you never deserve it. The only other thing he'd be against is being called 'daddy' or calling someone 'daddy'. It just weirds him out and doesn't do anything for him.

O — ORAL

Ohhh, Dabi loves oral. He loves when he watches you drag your lips over his cock, kissing and suckling on the skin. It's a beautiful sight to him. One of his favorite things to do is hike your legs over his shoulders and let his mouth work on you. It's exhilarating to him. The way your hands tug at his hair (if they're not bound), the way he pulls every little noise from you… There's just something about tasting you on his tongue that gets him going like nothing else.

P — PACE

It's fairly surprising to learn that Dabi takes his time. People would think he's impatient (and he is), but knowing that he has such a limited time as a villain, he likes to savor everything with you. He's a gradual lover. He wants to build the anticipation and watch as it becomes all consuming. Though, Dabi does get a little eager in the end. He needs to see it; the glazed look in your eyes when both of you crumble into each other.

Q — QUICKIE

Dabi lives quickies. He may not be a guy with a high sex drive nor a sex addict, but he can get hard if you push the right buttons. Sometimes, it's involuntary. He has to pull you somewhere secluded, push your clothes aside, and slot his dick between your thighs, moaning into your neck. If he really wants to push it - which he typically does - he'll grind his cock against your hole, slipping his tip in the slightest bit just to feel your warmth.

R — RISK

Dabi loves risk. He loves the idea of someone knowing but not watching. Seeing you fall apart on his dick, legs wrapped around his abdomen is a beautiful sight. No one gets to see, but they can hear. The only time Dabi wouldn't be risky is when he's being submissive. He doesn't want anyone to see him like that. Not that he has a "reputation to uphold," but because you're the only person who knows him. Only you can tell him what to do and he'll listen.

S — STAMINA

Moderate stamina. Hence, his favorite position is being any with him lying or sitting down. Dabi is also a huge fan of lazy fucking, so it's perfect. Though, Dabi has his days where he'll fuck like a crazed animal. Those would be slow days where he can spend a lot of time in his head, imagining every little mark that'd be littered on your skin.

T — TOY

Dabi is not a fan of toys on himself. Well, okay, he does like things such as vibrators and anal plugs. The toys he doesn't like are things like sex dolls or fleshlights. He'd prefer to be inside you than some toy. He did try once, and it was uncomfortable.

U — UNFAIR

He can be unfair sometimes. Dabi loves edging you and teasing you. He can be mean and taunt you. That sickly sweet "there we go, baby" he does when you finally give in and let him have his way.

V — VOLUME

Dabi is not a loud guy. He already strains his voice when yelling, and, in full transparency, he doesn't want anyone to hear him when you fuck. It's a level of vulnerability he wouldn't dare show to anyone besides you. Every gasp, whimper, groan… It's all for you.

W — WILD CARD

Dabi lovesssssssss it when you get violent. Even if you're threatening him. Just your display of power and passion is amazing to him. Dabi is nothing if not a slut for strength.

X — X-RAY

I like to think Dabi is on the smaller side. He's close to average, but not qu

Y — YEARNING

Dabi doesn't seem like the type to have an insanely high sex drive, but it isn't super low. It's moderate to say the least. Sure, at times he'll get unbearably horny, but it is not a common occurrence. His libido does spike once he starts dating you, though. All he does is think about you and he's getting hard. He's a pervert in that sense, I guess.

Z — ZZZ…

Dabi has fairly low stamina. You'd think he'd last long and stay awake, but his staples and skin grafts make it difficult to do rigorous activities for a long period of time. Having sex and doing whatever villainous activity always tires him out fast. Give him ten minutes, and he's out. (In the beginning of your relationship, he did try to stay awake longer because he didn't feel entirely safe yet, and he didn't want you to leave.)

[orionhelluvaranting]

My Predictions for Helluva Boss

Alright, guys, not gonna lie... I'm tired from HB! Protagonist-centered morality, favoritism, lack of stakes, Stolass' endless woobification, etc... It has become too much for me. Thus I've gave up any hopes for the writing improvement and refused to watch the show in the long run.

But!

This won't stop me from analysing the previous episodes that I've already watched. Furthermore, I wanna make a few predictions about what's going to happen in the next two seasons (unless those will be cancelled). Perhaps I'll repeat some of the points other critics had already made. So I'm sorry in advance for this, mates.

Now be careful, there's a HUGE list under the cut! 🔮

⋆˙˖⟡°˖⟡˙ {Predictions} ˙⟡˖°⟡˖˙⋆

None of the main cast is dead. The plot armor is too strong. Especially for Stolass. I mean, do you genuinely believe that Viv would kill her precious sad bean?! Bitch, please! 🤗

All/most of the antagonists are dead. The only exception I can think about is Cherubs. They're just too unthreatening to bother about. Prolly the D.H.O.R.K.S are dead but reborn in Hell and Idk if that counts or not 💀⚰️

If the rumors about one of the Deadly Sins' upcoming death are true then it's going to be Mammon. No other options 💸 (Btw I saw a fan theory about Blitzø killing Mammon and taking his place... Well, considering how poorly Viv handles the class problem I wouldn't be surprised if that came true)

F!zzarozz!e get married (S3) 💞 - 100% probability

Stol!tzø get married (S4, finale) 💞 - 100% probability

M&M became parents. Honestly I thought they'll save it for the end but after Sinsmas... Yeah. Anyway the truth about Millie's pregnancy is revealed (nearly to the middle of S3), she gives a birth for pro-lifers' delight and takes maternity leave becoming a background character. The child prolly is a boy and gets a better development than his mother. Apparently he's named Blitzø Junior or smth like that 👨‍👩‍👧

F!zzarozz!e & Stol!tzø double date💕

Moxxie's insecurity issue is showed at least once at the season. Now he isn't sure about himself being a good father/protector/role model for his son 💪

Loona shows her human disguise at least once at the season. Doesn't really matter if there's no logical reason for that 🐺➡️👩

More sappy sad ballads performed by Stolass 🎵

I.M.P. continue murdering people and not giving a fuck about morality (Sinsmas was the only act of mercy) OR they leave the business and fully go for Stol!tz soap opera (not like they haven't done that already- but hey! there's always room for degradation, right?) 📉

Stolass succeeds at the dime novels writing 📜✍️

Carnal hyper-sensual coitus between Stolass and Blitzø appears on-screen. Correct me if I'm wrong but I remember Viv expressed her desire to animate an intimacy act, so I have zero doubts these two are involved. It can't be anyone but them 🤢

Octavia forgives Stolass the moment she finds out about Stella's abusive nature. And since Stella's confirmed as a "stupid cow" the truth's revealed in the dumbest way possible. I wouldn't be surprised if Stella spilled the beans by herself 🤦‍♀️

Blitzø boosts his connection with Stolass the moment he finds out about Stella's abusive nature. After all we've got a sex out of pity, so why wouldn't we got a love out of pity as well? 🤡

Possibly Striker/Stella had been a thing at a certain time. Why? Because ✨fanservice✨ of course! And yes, it's going to be as dull, flat and out of nowhere as Cherr!snake. Or maybe worse 🙁

Stella's backstory turns out like the "she was born evil so don't you dare to sympathise with her" full edition. There is no valid motivation, no intriguing conflicts, no nuances - none of that. There is only Stolass' woobification arc. So this backstory isn't about Stella. It's revolved mainly around Stolass, maybe around Andrealphus or Vassago at the least. Granted that Stella ever had a chance to receive a decent backstory for herself Vivienne would've thrown it away right in the next episode without mentioning it ever again 😭

Actually Mammon can't play the guitar 🎸 He's just too dumb and untalented for this (according to Vivienne). Don't expect an epic villain song from him. I'd be happy to be wrong about this one but my hopes are dead

More fatphobic jokes toward Mammon 👎

Stolass' in drag. Just no comments 💄👠

Love triangle between Stolass, Blitzø and Vassago. At one point, Stolass leaves Blitzø because he doesn't satisfy his wet dreams well enough. Vassago and Stolass have complete mutual understanding and the idyll but Stolass feels smth isn't right. Smth is missing, smth like… Meanwhile Blitzø suffers and seeks Stolass' mercy. Eventually Stolass comes back to Blitzø because 💖 ~ they belong together ~ 💖

Perhaps after the breakup between Stolass and Vassago the latter will get together with Andrealphus 💘

Millie & Moxxie or Fizz & Ozzie giving romantic advices to Blitzø / helping him improve the relationship with Stolass 💝

Barbie Wire forgives Blitzø in her next appearance and then moves away from the plot without a trace 💨

Sapphic bait 💗 Verosika/Barbie Wire? Barbie Wire/Sallie May? Sallie May/Verosika? All of them together? I don't know! But I do know Viv would rather escape from being accused of wlw underrepresentation. Since she has promised S3 is going to be "a queer roller coaster" she would need to dilute her sausage party a bit. And of course the lesbian ship (whichever it would be) is poorly developed.

New unnecessary characters for celebrity VA's ⭐

Stolass was kidnapped... again?! Yes, Striker abducted him before but... Why wouldn't do this one more time? After all the stans love presenting Viv's auto-plagiarism as meaningful "symbolic parallels". Besides kidnapping is one of the most beloved tropes in fanfiction. And HB is an animated fanfic for sure ⛓

More shitty dads/exes? Because Viv adores reusing the same tropes over and over again 💩

"Positive" characters keep being justified and woobified infinitely 😇 while villains are losing all their charisma and braincells from episode to episode 😈

Nobody will ever remember that Stolass harassed Blitzø 🙈

Nobody will ever remember that Ozzie allows succubi to enter the mortal realm and seduce humans by hypnotic songs (which doesn't sound pro-consent, does it, Mr. Lust-Is-Not-About-Force?) 🙉

Nobody will ever remember that Queen Bee runs shelters (which are essentially slave trade hellholes) in terrible conditions 🙊

Stolass' "depression" is brought up occasionally as a reason to justify and pity him. Stolass' immediately healed by Stella's death. Right after that the depression has disappeared completely. Therapy sessions aren't required. Even if the therapy is shown then only as a lame joke 🌧

Stolass brings his powers back because he's out... for LOOOOoOHoOOOHoOOVE!!! 💓💃🏻

Stolass gets everything he ever wanted without any efforts and self-improvement. Because he's good enough already and everyone who disagree is just stupid and mean 🏆

Aaaaaaaand that's all! My forecast: at least 80% of these predictions will come true one way or another. And what do you think? Maybe you have your own ideas? Please share those in the comments/reblogs! It'd be cool if someone made a bingo based on all this. It definitely wouldn't be me because today I'm identifying myself as a lazy ass. Bye-bye! 👋😊

[harunayuuka2060]

Crowley: MC? MC? I have a new job for you—

Grim: The hench-human is at the roof, fixing the holes.

Crowley: Oh. Would you tell them to get down so we could talk?

Grim: Nah. It's raining. I don't want to get wet.

Crowley: I'll just wait here then. And ooh~ Looks like they've made some changes already.

Grim: They said it was barely habitable. They got a few things from the storage room to renovate the dorm a little.

Crowley: What a talented individual.

Grim: So, what do you want from my hench-human?

Crowley: You see, I'm thinking of turning you both into students of Night Raven College.

Grim: Mryah! Really?!

Crowley: Yes. I've realized that it would be a waste to just have them work as a janitor.

Grim: Mryahah~! Wait. *frowns at him*

Crowley: Is there something wrong, Grim?

Grim: You want to exploit my hench-human!

Crowley: Wh— Of course not! Where does that come from?!

Grim: They're already cleaning the whole school and that isn't enough for you?!

Crowley: I have provided you food and shelter!

Grim: Hench-human has to work outside the school mryah! Because the food you're giving us ain't enough!

Crowley: They still have time for that— *clears throat*— Well, they could've asked for more. That shouldn't be my problem.

MC: *walks in* *dripping wet* Hey, Grim. Can you grab me some towel— *noticed Crowley*— What do you want?

Grim: *flies to their side* He wants to exploit us!

Crowley: Certainly not! I'm here to offer you to officially become a student of our school. *smiling*

MC: *raised an eyebrow*

MC: Yeah. Grim sure could use that.

Crowley: H-How about you? Are you not interested?

MC: Nah. I'm good. I had vocational courses in my world. No need for me to have a diploma here.

Crowley: Oh. I did hear from Grim you got a job outside the campus.

MC: Yeah. I realized I can't live off solely from your benevolence when I'm feeding a glutton.

Grim: I'm not a glutton!

Crowley: ...

Crowley: I see. But as you've said, Grim could use this opportunity. So would you be taking the job I'm about to offer you?

MC: *smirks* Sure. I can use some extra income.

Crowley: ...

Crowley: I can only offer you a minimum wage.

MC: I'm not picky.

Crowley: Wonderful!

Leona: Huh? Who's that?

Ruggie: Don't you know? They're the janitor.

Leona: What are they doing here in Savanaclaw?

Ruggie: They've come to inspect each dorm in Night Raven College.

Leona: Huh?

MC: Some of the rooms here are full of shit.

Savanaclaw students: Why do you care?

MC: Shitty rooms, shitty people. *yawns* I feel like burning this whole place down.

Savanaclaw students: You can't do that!

MC: I can, pals. If you don't start cleaning right now.

Leona: ...

*In the housewarden meeting*

Leona: Hey, Crowley. What's up with that?

Crowley: *smiling* Is there a problem, Kingscholar?

Leona: Why does that punk get to do a dorm inspection?

Idia: Yeah! They have no respect to anyone's privacy!

Vil and Riddle: ...

Riddle: That isn't true at all.

Vil: Heartslabyul and Pomefiore were commended for their unwavering commitment to cleanliness and orderliness.

Vil: And they had asked for permission beforehand.

Azul: Though if you were to decline, they would persist and resort to using force to gain entry.

Kalim: I got scolded for keeping bugs in the kitchen...

Riddle: What the hell—

Crowley: MC's job as a dorm inspector only happens every end of the week. So you have nothing to worry about regarding invasion of privacy. *smiles*

Grim: Hench-human... *seems exhausted* *flies to their arms*

MC: You alright, buddy?

Grim: I hate classes... I give up.

MC: *chuckles* Looks like your preschool brain can't handle college classes.

Grim: Mryah! What did you say?!

MC: *pets him* Told ya to learn your ABC's first.

Grim: MRRAAAAHHHH!!!

MC: Easy, bud. Easy. I got you some food.

Grim: Take back what you said!

MC: Nuh-uh. Just prove me wrong.

Grim: I'll prove you wrong! Watch me!

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Angel Dust: (smirking) "Ya know toots-"

Vaggie: "You're insufferable. Yeah. We all know. What else."

Angel Dust: "-speaking of teasin' and toyin', ya sure do wear a pretty short skirt for someone who's datin' miss prim and proper. Don't she mind you lookin' like hell's saddest a knock-off halloween party costume hooker?"

Vaggie: "I dress nothing like you."

Angel Dust: "No shit. Ya barely dress at all. Zero effort."

Vaggie: "More like zero fucks given for any opinion other than Charlie's."

Angel Dust: "Oh so she DO like it?"

Vaggie: "Just because she's not the one calling her girlfriend 'sweetie' doesn't mean I'm not eye candy to her."

Charlie: (skidding into room) "-ISN'T IT SO PRETTY ON HER?? THE SKIRT!!"

Angel Dust: "Hot."

Charlie: "I KNOW RIGHT!!!!"

Angel Dust: "I ain't talking about the skirt."

Charlie: "Huh? But, but it is hot-"

Vaggie: "Sweetie, he means your flaming skid marks."

Charlie: "My what? Oh!" (starts stomping out her flaming skid marks) "Oh shit not again- the carpet!"

Vaggie: (smiling) "Got a little fired up huh babe?"

Charlie: "I can handle it! Nooo problem do NOT swap out the skirt!"

Vaggie: "Looks like it might a workplace safety hazard."

Charlie: (taking off jacket and desperately smothering the burning carpet with it) "NO NO IT'S NOT!!! It's, um, a key part of keeping up workplace morale!"

Angel Dust: "Pity it can't make anything wet other than you, huh Charlie Puff."

Charlie: "Not a workplace appropriate topic!"

Vaggie: "Want help babe? I could just beat the fire out with his corpse."

Charlie: "No one's beating anything either!!" (still beating the fire out)

Angel Dust: "Suuuuure ya won't be..." (sigh) "How's it you two disgustingly sweet flaming gays haven't burned down the hotel already?"

Vaggie: "It's fireproof. Mostly."

Charlie: "And after that one time, so's our bed!"

Angel Dust: "The BED?"

Vaggie: (groans) "Sweetie, why."

Charlie: (soot stained) (frazzled) "I'm sorry! I'm all hot and bothered now, okay??"

Vaggie: "Well that I can help with."

Charlie: "O-oh?"

Vaggie: "Easy fix. Wanna go check if our bed's still fireproof?"

Charlie: "Yes." (drops jacket) (flops into vaggie's waiting arms) "Yes, that's an amazing idea!"

Vaggie: (scooping gf up) "I have them sometimes."

Charlie: "Everything about you is ALWAYS amazing, Vaggie." (smooch) "Especially in a skirt. Um...... is this one fireproof?"

Vaggie: "We'll find out."

Charlie: "Should we take it off first then? For safety!"

Vaggie: "If you want, sweetie. It's one option."

Charlie: "Oh."(grins) "And the other one is...?"

Angel Dust: "Get a room!"

Angel Dust: (already alone)

Angel Dust: "... these are some shit work place standards." (yelling after them) "Make sure that skirt's a natural fiber before ya start some kinky hellfire stuff or it'll melt all over ya! If I smell shitty chemical smoke coming outta there I'm barging in with an extinguisher!"

Chaggie's door: (locks)

[queenie-ofthe-void]

Here's a crack Stobin idea

It's platonic Hanahaki by instead of puking flowers, it's migraines and mind reading.

***

After they're injected with the same experimental mystery drugs in the Russian spy bunker, Steve wakes up two days later with a killer headache.

Must be the concussion.

Except throughout the day it gets worse, worse than his migraines after his fight with Billy. He tries to go to sleep early, but the pain's so intense he seriously thinks his head might implode.

Does he call Robin?

They aren't what he'd call friends. But they survived torture together, so that has to mean something, right?

No, he decides. She's got her own problems and it's almost midnight.

He's up, can't sleep. At 6:30am he wraps an ice pack around his head and sits in a warm bath. At 7:30am he's throwing up water and bile. By 9am he's got a bloody nose and he's popped a blood vessel in his right eye. Just as he's about to pick up the phone, there's knocking on his front door that feels like a hammer to his skull.

Robin's on the front stoop, the front of her Fleetwood Mac sleep shirt covered in drops of blood and she's holding a wad of napkins to her face. She's crying and practically collapses into his arms.

The pain recedes so quickly he gasps. He didn't realize how difficult it was to breathe. The sharp stabbing behind his eyes is gone and it feels like he hasn't eaten in days.

Robin's still holding his shoulder, looking at him with wide eyes. She moves the napkins and even though her face is a mess of dried blood it's clear the bleeding has stopped.

"Steve, what's going on?"

"How the hell should I know?"

Her hand slips from his shoulder as he backs into the house, and suddenly the pain's creeping back in. It's minimal compared to before. Robin grabs his hand again and the pain recedes.

He looks up and she's staring at him wide eyed, mouth hanging open like a fish.

"I do not look like a fish!" Robin scoffs.

He didn't say that.

"Oh holy shit you didn't say that!" she practically screams at him.

She grips his other hand, squeezing them both tight as they stare into each other's panicked eyes.

Oh my god playing on loop between them, yet Robin's mouth isn't moving and he's pretty sure his is closed.

Can we read minds?

I have no idea Steven I've never done this before! You're the freaky stuff expert.

It's called the upside down Robs.

He's so bitchy.

I'm not bitchy!

"OK we have to stop this," Robin finally says. He knows she said it. He saw her mouth move and everything.

"Jesus I'm not sure I can handle your brain Harrington I've already got enough going on up here on my own."

"Yeah tell me about it," he replies as he thinks about her rambling about nothing for hours on end during shared shifts.

Robin sighs, squeezing his hands again as she scuffs her shoes on the white tile.

For what it's worth, I like your rambling.

A light smile ghosts her face. He always feels better when she's smiling, and that gets a wet chuckle from her as she wipes her teary eyes.

"Ok," Robin says, putting her game face on. "We're going to figure this out and I've got some ideas."

~~~

s4 follow-up ficlet

[coffee-and-tea-time]

𓆩♡𓆪 ｢better that sleeping pills｣ 𓆩♡𓆪

Hi! Coffee being delusional speaking! This time I was wondering

How did you deal with your sleep problems, dear?

TW: stalking, yandere behavior, delusions, insomniac reader, sleeping pills mention, somewhat willing reader, light paranoia?

Yet again another night dealing with insomnia, being told over and over that you should stop using the phone at night and, instead, pretend to sleep, that eventually dreamland will come to you like that. People that don't know what it is to be alone with thoughts and exasperation. But once again, you try to do so, hoping that maybe this time it would actually help.

tik tok tik tok tik tok

How much time has passed? Seconds? Minutes? Hours? You try to keep your mind on blank but it's impossible at some point.

An unexpected sound catch quickly your interest although you can't really recognize it, trying to dismiss it, thinking must've an hallucination or something outside, in the silence of the night, people tend to be more perspective to any sounds, right?

And just like a bad plot, once your body relaxes, you hear that sound again. . . Unconsciously welcoming the return to old habits, covering more with the blankets and turning around with the eyes still closed, as if that will make a safe shield.

Alright, this isn't your first rodeo, your brain's favorite hobby surely is playing tricks to scare the hell out of you. Taking a deep breath to relax once again, choosing to be delusional to forget everything has to be the best option right now.

What about if the sounds are because a stalker helplessly in love with you just broke into your house? A good night kiss on the forehead sounds lovely, maybe the dark romance or Tumblr posts are affecting your brain already but why care? Cuddling to sleep with someone that loves you unconditionally sounds like a perfect situation, you wouldn't really mind your sleeplessness if you could have that.

Although the normal will be calling the police, why do so if it's not a threat? In your mind, you picture your perfect obsessive s/o, no need to worry about being cheated on if the only thing in his eyes is you, no need to worry about being too much, no need to worry about his feelings ever fading away, isn't that perfect? Yes, it may come with some disadvantages like everything, but nothing you can't handle, you just need to love them, and they will be happy on a daily basis.

As you smile because of your silly fantasies while looking 'asleep' on the outside, you hear an even more unexpected sound. . . a whispering.

“oh, are you having a good sleep? It worries me how long it takes you to sleep every night, it's gonna end up being awful for your health. Maybe it will be better if I start using sleeping pills on you? You always do so much, you need a good rest, my cherry”

You stay still, unable to think what to do, a light but sweet smell invades your nostrils. Does this count as manifestation? Why is he already calling you by a pet name?

“My lovely cherry, my heart ache when I think about how exasperating must feel to hear the constant naging of those who don't really care about at least try empathize, if only I could help with something, I won't think it twice”

Feeling a gentle caress on your hair makes you wonder, this doesn't feel bad at all. Common sense screaming that you need to worry but the warm feeling of his touch disperse that though faster than you're willing to admit.

“Mmm, maybe my desires are taking over my brain already? But I think a perfect medicine for you will be if you snuggle in my embrace, I promise to have the right temperature for you to be comfy all night… if you just let me kiss that addictive face of yours, it will be enough payment for even my soul if you wish to have it”

His voice… sounds familiar, do you know him? 

Even if you recognize that self-preservation should be a top priority, it's hard to care when his voice is this honeyed, using the exact words that attract you like a bee as if he can read your mind. As you feel a faint kiss on the top of your head, you start to ask yourself…

Is bad manners not to reply when someone speaks to you, isn't it? Or maybe it's better to keep pretending to sleep to see what he usually does?

Decisions decisions…

➤ keep pretending

➤ Say something

sorry for any misspellings or weird sentence structure ❣

images from pinterest

[chronicsyd]

honestly, I find it funny that the tiktok side of the Arcane fandom doesn't really know what "toxic" means because they'll scream about Caitvi until a ship like Caitbessa enters the ring and suddenly they're gasping and clutching their pearls

like guys I thought you were Wanting to talk about toxicity. What? Can't handle it when an Actual toxic relationship is brought up?

because I think my Hottest take is that Caitvi isn't as "toxic" as people like to claim that it is. oh it for Sure has it's problems, but honestly All of the big four (Caitvi, Jayvik, Meljay, Timebomb) have issues; that's really the whole Point of them, they're aren't frolicking in fields because No relationship is like that. (not to mention the Hypocrisy of Timebomb fans who will Bitch about Caitlyn hitting Vi with the gun and then Act like Timebomb have No issues whatsoever. "Well I've never hit my SO! that's not ok!" well I sure as hell Hope Not! I ALSO hope you've never Gleefully killed people that you're SO cares about while working under a Kingpin either. like these conversations with Jinx glazers are downright Stupid and y'all are Really starting to piss me off) ("But Timebomb doesn't have issues in Ep7!" oh you mean the AU where EVERYTHING in the plot changes so that Timebomb can even happen and be Relatively happy? THAT AU? like god Shut Up)

(and I'm gonna piss off All the Jinx glazers but it really Is Jinx's fault that Caitvi's relationship takes the downward spiral that it does in Act 1 of S2. yeah, we can throw Ambessa into the mix but really she just takes advantage of the situation that Jinx had already thrown into motion; if Jinx had left Caitlyn the hell alone after Ep7 (as in didn't kidnap her, the entire tea party scene didn't happen, and she didn't yk Kill her damned Mom) then Caitlyn would have been Relatively ok (like yea, being blown up twice and shot at is traumatic but doesn't really hold a candle to those other things). because what Caitlyn does in S2 is reactionary to how Jinx treated her back in S1)

and I've seen a lot of people bitch that "Caitlyn never gave Jinx a 'proper apology'" and I'm gonna say that Jinx didn't give Caitlyn one Either. because "I didn't know you're mom was there" was a sort of explanation/apology for killing her mom at Best but there was Nada about targeting her on Multiple occasions, Zip about kidnapping her butt ass naked from her own home, Zero about holding her hostage where god only Knows what happened during That, and Nothing about the Entirety of the tea party situation. like they were basically on a "we're even now" thing and I think Jinx is lucky that Caitlyn let her go at all (even if it really was for Vi's sake than anything else because Caitlyn knows how Deeply Vi cares about the ones that she loves)

Not to mention that to Caitbessa people will say the Dumbest shit like "Caitlyn's a 25 year old minor!" THAT'S NOT A FUCKING THING. like it's Definitely one of the more bizarre thing's I've shipped but as I mentioned in a post back in like November they don't fully play into the "surrogate family" thing that Silco and Jinx do which is why shipping Them feels weirder (we can also talk about how Silco found Jinx when she was like 11 and practically Raised her for 7 years meanwhile Caitlyn met Ambessa as an adult and she was more of a mentor than a mother to her and that only lasted 6 months And I mentioned that we really only saw the "surrogate" thing coming from Ambessa than anything else but besides the point) the Point is that comparing Caitbessa to Jilco is weird, doesn't make sense, and isn't "pdfilic" in the way that people over on tiktok claim that it is.

[waywardducks]

Incorrect bat family quotes but as things me and my sibling have done/said.

Jason: *just trying to read* *feels an eery presence just watching him.*

Damien and Tim: *both just starting at him*

Jason: Yes? Can I help you?

Tim: Slushies

Jason: okay?

Damien: Take us to them.

-✨✨✨✨✨✨

Dick: *Chilling in his bed*

Cass: *very slowly opening the door to his room*

Both: *just stare at each other for an uncomfortable amount of time*

Dick: Please, child. What is it? I can't handle this suspense.

Cass: *quietly* I have a pool party today…

Dick: okay? I'm glad for you.

Cass: …

Cass: Can you go buy me tampons?

Dick:

Dick: Of fucking course I can go buy you tampons! *already jumping out of bed* What size?

-✨✨✨✨✨✨

Damien: *angry, slamming doors, punching walls, screaming at everyone*

Tim: Autism is one hell of a bitch

Dick: Tim, no

Jason: No, no, he's got a point. We really should get him checked out.

Damien: I CAN HEAR YOU

*he was diagnosed with autism the following month*

-✨✨✨✨✨✨

Stephaine: *putting makeup on Cass* almost done!

Tim: we need to hurry, the movie is starting soon

Stephanie: It's fine, we have plenty of time, now let me do your makeup.

Dick: What are y'all doing? Why is everything… pink?

Cass: We are going to watch Barbie

Dick: Can I come?

Steph: Nah it's girls night?

Dick: Then why is Tim going?

Steph: He's one of the girls, obviously.

Tim: Yeah, obviously.

Dick: *crying* I wanna be one of the girls too

-✨✨✨✨✨✨

Bruce: Hey, Tim

Tim: Yeah? What's up?

Bruce: Remember how you're therapist mention she thought you might have ASD?

Tim: Yeah, she said she wasn't %100 percent sure on it though.

Bruce: Well she just sent me a document confirming your diagnosis.

Tim:

Dick: Woah dude! Congrats on the tism!

Jason: Welcome to the spectrum little bro!

Damien: Is Dick the only one that isn't ASD?

Dick: *is sad bc he's left out of the club again*

- ✨✨✨✨✨✨

Dick, Tim, Jason and Damien: *driving down the road at 4 in the morning, blasting fnaf songs at full volume* IVE GOT NO TIME!! I've GOT NO TIME TO LIVE

-✨✨✨✨✨✨

Tim: Jason. I'm bi

Jason: Okay

Tim: Okay? That's all you have to say?

Jason: damn Tim, tf you want be to say? Sorry?

Tim: No! I just thought-

Jason: If you have boy problems go to Dick. He's the one with the most experience in that field.

Dick: Hey! I resent that!

Jason: Oh please, you can call yourself straight all you want but you and both know you've what kinda person you were when you first became Nightwing.

Dick: I wasn't gay Jason I was a slut its different.

Jason: sure, okay.

-✨✨✨✨✨✨

I'm gonna make this a series lmao. Being in a house with 6 kids gives you a lot of stories.

Also, yes, 3 of my younger siblings are officially diagnosed with autism. (Damien and my sister are literally the same person. I have so many headcanons about it, it's not even funny. She even has the same insane art skills, I'm terrified of how fast she learned to do things I've been in school for years to learn)

[utilitycaster]

I read your posts regarding c3 and what could be done differently, and I’ve always thought the way they handled Bertrand Bell was weird. He’s only in three episodes, then dies — c3 was my first campaign, and I had no idea who he was before, nor sure why I should care . Emotionally he didn’t leave an impact on the other characters (although I love Fearne’s jazz monologue) or the audience who has seen him one time before. They use his name for their party name but then don’t bother to see his grave, or remember him at all.

His death also means that we are tied to the moon plot very early on with an emotional weight so it feels like the group have to follow that story thread early on, setting up the mystery too early which then becomes exhausting to the audience. I wonder if c3 would have been better off if they didn’t bother with him, or if Matt and Travis agreed to really wait a while before killing Bertrand off, when they actually want to escalate the plot (would have had accusations of ‘scripting’ but who cares if it’s better narratively.) I think if he died around when Molly died then it would have been stronger (maybe too close a copy of c2, but at least that worked?)

I think a planned player character death can still be shocking and dramatic to the other players who weren’t expecting it, but how c3 executed it feels like a nothing burger and a waste of time. I don’t really know what would have changed if we just had Chetney at the start.

I'm going to be totally honest: I disagree strongly and I think you are assigning blame to a completely wrong place. That doesn't mean that you can't feel this moment failed to land (though I think that too is a criticism more of the overall campaign) but the concept of having a character show up, be quickly killed, and be replaced by the actual character isn't a particularly new one, doesn't require you to have a pre-existing attachment to the initial character for it to be a fun concept. It also, in my opinion, did serve a good purpose and frankly Bertrand had, in his three episodes, a stronger and clearer arc than several party members who have had over a hundred episodes.

I may put this specific piece in a separate post because I believe it's a requirement for understanding the failings of Campaign 3 but: A lot of discussion positions Campaign 3 as the story of Bells Hells, who were ill served by the Moon Plot. This is, in my opinion, incorrect. Campaign 3 is the Moon Plot Campaign, in which Bells Hells are ill-suited characters pushed through said plot because they happened to be played by the cast members. And to that end, I think that actually, introducing the moon plot immediately was a good idea. The problem was that the execution of that mystery was very poorly done. Bertrand led the party to Eshteross, and was then not long thereafter killed by a group of people working to destabilize the Chandei Quorum on behalf of Armand Treshi, so that he could bring in the Paragon's Call as a means of reinstating order in Jrusar. This presumably would also help them because then they wouldn't have to use Jiana as a middlewoman for the shipments they were receiving via her in Jrusar, and would generally increase their power. Bells Hells found out this was happening and thwarted it, but Treshi escaped.

This is when the plot began to become a mess, and while there were plenty of further opportunities to right it, I think basing the entirety of the early campaign in Jrusar and Bassuras, and severely paring down what was done in Bassuras [probably a whole other post but I'd have had Treshi remain captured in Jrusar but give up the information, making Bassuras entirely a data gathering mission, thus freeing up a lot of time in Bassuras for personal errands and bonding time] would have fixed a lot of the issues.

Again, that doesn't mean the concept worked for you, but this isn't even rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic - it's complaining about the meal that was served on the titanic 4 days prior to them hitting the iceberg.