#if we get another people dump later in the month

[theglassdragoncollective]

The frontstuck for over eight months while simultaneously meeting an average of seventeen newly discovered/new people every month combo is wild

[whimsiwitchy]

we broke up (one shot)

hugh jackman x f!reader

summary: you get dragged to a work event by your boyfriend of three years when Hugh comes to flirt with you. after you reluctantly tell him you’re taken, he backs off for the most part. a few months later, Hugh tells the story during an interview but little does he know you’re single now. 

warnings: implied age gap (not mentioned), flirting while in a relationship (kinda)

authors note: here's a little oneshot I wrote tonight. enjoy <33

You’d been with your boyfriend, Rowan, for a few years now. He earned a degree in marketing and immediately got a job for a studio. While he enjoys his job and it brings in good money, the events he dragged you to were unbelievably boring. The company he worked for always had big parties after a success on a project. At first they were interesting, often running into celebrities here and there given that it was the success of their movie, but lately you found yourself sitting at the bar more often than not. It was routine at this point. Rowan would show you off for the first hour, then he would toss you aside to fend for yourself. You weren’t the biggest social butterfly, hence why you liked to sit alone, drinking. 

Tonight wasn’t any different. You were at another party for the successful marketing for Deadpool and Wolverine. You’d heard a few whispers that the stars of the movie themselves were somewhere wandering around but you hadn’t had the pleasure of seeing them. Rowan dumped you at the bar a little over thirty minutes ago and you’ve been sipping on some fruity little drink ever since, completely in your own world. You made small talk with the bartender every once and a while but you were mainly people watching. 

“Mind if I join?” A deep Australian accent asks. You look up and see a gorgeous older man. He was wearing a dark blue suit with a pair of black expensive looking glasses. He was deliciously tall and had a thich salt and pepper beard. “Uh no, go ahead.” He sits in the bar stool next to you. He orders a drink from the bartender before returning his attention back to you. “Pardon me if this is too forward but you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” The comment takes you aback. “Oh um, thank you. That’s really sweet of you to say.” He looks down to your glass that’s nothing but melted ice at this point. “Can I buy you another drink?” He asks. “You probably shouldn’t. I’m taken…sadly.” You whisper the last part, unsure if he heard it or not. “Oh! I apologize for coming on to you. You’ve been sitting here by yourself for so long, I thought you might have come alone.” You huff out a laugh. “My boyfriend works for the company. He’s out there socializing or whatever.” You shrug and signal to the bartender, asking for another drink. “That’s a shame. If you were mine, you’d be on my arm all night.” He smirks. “Is that right?” You smile at him. Before he can answer, you feel your phone vibrate with a text from Rowan that reads ‘where are you babe? Time to leave.’ 

“Well, the boyfriends calling, I gotta go.” You carefully climb out of the chair and grab your jacket and purse off of the back. As you start to walk away, the man speaks again. “Wait! What’s your name?” You turn back to face him. “Y/n.” He smiles and repeats it. “I’m Hugh.” His answer surprises you. “Oh! Congrats on the movie. I didn’t even recognize you at first with the beard and all.” He laughs. “Bye Hugh.” You wave before walking off.

—

It’s been a few months since that night in July, it being September now. You and Rowan had broken up mid-August, both of you agreeing that the relationship wasn’t going anywhere. It hurt for a little bit but you knew it was for the best. Living with him had been awkward as you searched for a new place, deciding that he can keep the current apartment. You wanted a fresh start, which is where you are now. Tonight was your first night in your new apartment. You didn’t have any furniture yet but you were happy. You bought an air mattress to make do until you could afford an actual bed. 

It was around midnight and you were doing your nightly youtube watch. You were scrolling through your recommended videos when you saw Hugh’s face pop up. It was an interview posted a few minutes ago from him on some late night show you’d never heard of. You clicked on it, wanting to hear what the man was up to these days. The interview was a standard one, mostly questions on his upcoming movie about some sheep. You weren’t really paying attention, close to dozing off when a question peaked your interest. 

“So Hugh, it’s almost been a year since the announcement of your divorce and the fans wanna know…How’s your dating life doing? Are you seeing anyone?” The woman asks, wiggling her eyebrows. Hugh lets out a big laugh. “I’m actually not seeing anyone. It’s funny you ask because the last time I even attempted to flirt with a woman she turned me down.” The interviewer's eyebrows shoot up in shock. She gasps before asking, “How could anyone turn you down? We need to know the full story here.” 

“Ryan and I were at this party for the marketing team that worked on Deadpool and Wolverine and I saw this absolutely gorgeous girl sitting at the bar all alone.” The interviewer is nodding her head, engaging with every word Hugh says. “I eyed her for a while to see if anyone was with her but she sat there alone for a good thirty minutes before Ryan hyped me up to go over there. When I finally did, I ordered a drink and tried to play it cool but I felt the urge to tell this girl how stunning she was, so I did.” You giggle to yourself and you hear him tell the story from his point of view. “She thanked me and I offered to buy her another drink. I kid you not, in the prettiest voice I’ve ever heard she says ‘you probably shouldn’t, i’m taken.’” His hands go up to his chest, gripping right above his heart. “My heart broke mate. I flirted a little more in true Hugh fashion but she had to go. I haven’t been able to get her out of my head since.” 

“What a lucky woman, I’m sure she regrets it.” 

“Hey, I tried my best.” He shrugs before looking at the camera. “Y/n, if you ever break up with him. I’m all yours baby.” 

Your jaw drops, the sound of cheers blasting from your phone.  

‘we broke up. I’m all yours. @/RealHughJackman’ 

You hit send on the tweet and hoped it would be enough to bring him back to you.

thank you for reading <3

[feeder86]

Fixing the Feeder

“Who’s that?” Hendrix asked his new friends as he gazed around the gay venue he was visiting for the first time. Having recently moved here for his job, Hendrix had arrived alone that night and quickly started introducing himself to the group of men who seemed most likely to visit the club on a regular basis. The guy he was asking about was clearly very attractive, with a tall, slender frame and pretty face. However, that wasn’t the reason why Hendrix’s interest had been piqued. It was the fact that such a handsome guy stood all alone and, unless Hendrix had been very much mistaken, he’d just seen him checking out a couple of the softer chubs in the corner.

Collectively, the guys all pulled a face. “That’s Felix!” one replied. “We don’t talk to him.”

Hendrix’s face lit up with intrigue; the cogs in his head were already whirring.

“He dated Lee, one of our friends,” another explained to Hendrix. “He was already quite a big guy, but he absolutely ballooned when he was with Felix.”

“And you think Felix was the reason for that?” Hendrix asked, pleased that his predictions had been exactly right.

“Definitely!” jumped in another. “We could all see what he was up to, with his cream cakes and fast food. Then, the moment we convinced Lee to go for the gastric band, Felix finished with him, just like that!”

“Oh, really?” Hendrix asked, taking another look over at the pretty boy in question. “That’s not cool,” he agreed. “So you think he’s a feeder, huh?”

“We know he’s a feeder,” came the swift reply. “And now everyone else does. He can’t hide it any more.”

“So you’re able to warn those you see him getting close to?” Hendrix smirked, knowing that he had chosen the exact right people to make friends with that night in order to learn all he could about the crowds in here.

“Absolutely!” they all nodded, like a team of justice warriors; their cold stares fixed firmly on Felix; the enemy walking amongst them.

“Well, well… it sucks to be you!” Hendrix chuckled as he headed to the bar an hour or so later and caught Felix on his own once more. He smirked at the guy, knowing he himself had already picked up the number of a deliciously doughy-looking chub he’d seen Felix staring longingly at earlier. “You’re about as popular as herpes around here,” he stated without sympathy.

“It won’t last forever,” Felix replied, seeming to instinctively know that he was talking with a kindred spirit after eyeballing Hendrix flirting with the fat boy he had been so keen on. “People soon forget these things.”

Hendrix couldn’t help but laugh at Felix’s naivety. “I don’t think they do,” he scoffed. “Dumping your boyfriend because he was going for a gastric band? You exposed yourself to everyone,” he explained unsympathetically. “Sure, they may have had suspicions before about you being a feeder, but you made damn sure to give them the final nail to seal your coffin.”

Felix grunted bitterly, but he couldn’t deny the truth of what Hendrix was saying. “So, that means more fat boys for you then, huh?” he asked. “Your biggest competition has been eliminated from the game.”

Smirking once more, Hendrix looked Felix up and down. Yes, the boy was handsome, but it was Hendrix’s upper body strength that made sure he never lost out when it came to picking up the guys he wanted. Felix thought of himself as his competition? In Hendrix’s experience, guys always chose the ‘muscle stud’ over the ‘pretty boy’ every time. He collected his drinks, heading straight back to the fat boy he planned to take home later, looking back over his shoulder to ensure that Felix was watching as he placed a hand on the chub’s deliciously soft, under-exercised butt: the first of many fatties that he planned to fuck around here.

The next day, Hendrix squirted a little extra aftershave on himself as he got ready for his new job. He already knew that he was going to smash it. He’d consistently been the most successful car salesman since his second month at the last dealership he’d worked at. Now, moving up to the higher end of the market, the commission he was about to start earning would at last give him the life he deserved. Tight pants never hurt, nor shirts that showed off his excellent muscular physique. It was a fine balance, making himself look handsome enough to attract the female market, yet with a clear muscular athleticism that would encapsulate how the male customers aspired to be and ensure that they felt free to talk sports with him as he guided them towards a hefty sale.

Nothing had surprised Hendrix on that first day, apart from the identity of the pretty-looking dude, sitting in the accountancy office. It couldn’t be, surely? Felix, the fallen feeder, worked here too? He’d smirked and shaken the guy’s hand, keeping up the pretense that they had never met before. What a small world they lived in, he laughed to himself, staring back over his shoulder from the main floor and noticing that Felix was staring back through the glass walls that separated him from where the real work happened.

The mechanics in the back were friendly enough, if a little quick to grumble about how the site was managed. But Hendrix was a natural at smooth talk and soon ingratiated himself with them all. Within two hours of being there, he’d made his first sale: a company record.

It wasn’t until Day 4 that the new golden boy, Hendrix, found himself unaccompanied as he grabbed a coffee from the back room. That was when Felix crept in. “Hello again,” the man smiled, as if pleased that they were both able to speak freely at last. “How did things go with the chub after you left on Saturday?”

Hendrix laughed as he poured himself a cup from the machine; of course that was going to be Felix’s first question to him. “Pretty good!” he nodded, turning back around. “That doughy ass took a good pounding and there was plenty of decent back fat to grab onto.” He closed his eyes for a second, emphasising how perfect the memory of it was. “His whole body jiggled beautifully.”

Felix seemed to flush with arousal at the thought, surprised at how immediately open Hendrix was about it all. “Lucky you!” he mumbled.

“The foreplay was nice too,” Hendrix continued. “I squirted a can of cream over places and made him lick it all off,” he boasted. “Let’s just say… fat boy was VERY good at that part!”

“You like to feed them as well?” Felix asked, his eyes alert, as if this was the most important conversation he would have all day.

“Of course,” Hendrix nodded. “It’s rule number one in my book,” he explained. “When you fuck chubs, you’ve always gotta leave them a little bit fatter and softer for the next guy.”

Felix swallowed. “I hope that next guy is me,” he mumbled.

Once again, Hendrix chuckled, patronisingly patting Felix on his butt. “It won’t be!” he smirked. “After your little stunt, all the fatties know to stay well away from you.”

Sighing, it was somehow very obvious that Felix was turned on and frustrated. “I’ve gotta find some way to fix this,” he rambled, seeming as if he might burst if he didn’t get some fat boy action soon.

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you,” Hendrix gloated, putting his coffee on the table and throwing his large, muscular body down onto the couch, before fixing his hands at the back of his head and relaxing. “You’re just going to have to move somewhere very far away, where no one knows you,” he teased.

“How jiggly was his butt?” Felix asked next, sitting down with him and keen to return to hearing all about Hendrix’s experience.

“Very!” Hendrix grinned, happy to indulge the horny boy. “Great rippling when I thrusted against it! You know, like those fat boys who don’t do any exercise whatsoever. Although, he wasn’t that used to taking guys as big as me, so he squealed a little bit in places.”

There it was: the little boner pressing against Felix’s pants. He really was every bit as kinky as Hendrix, who smirked at the sight of it. This meant that there was an opportunity to be exploited, should Hendrix play things very carefully…

“We should go for a drink after work; compare notes on the fatties we’ve had,” Hendrix suggested next, already lifting his great body up with a nonchalance that suggested Felix’s answer would mean little to him either way.

“Sure!” Felix shot back, not getting up from the couch and knowing full well that he would have to stay down for a little while longer; until the hardness retreated.

Hendrix had never spoken so openly about his experiences of being with chubs as he did that evening with Felix. He suddenly found that he had a way with words and storytelling that made each and every one of them sound so sexually charged and erotic; he could see Felix hanging on his every word.

“So, he actually ate it all?” Felix laughed, hearing the end to yet another of Hendrix’s kinky tales.

“Of course he did!” Hendrix nodded. “Look at me. Would you deny a stud like me anything if I asked it? He gobbled it all down straight away, then couldn’t button his pants the next day. It was so fucking cute!”

“That’s amazing!” Felix smiled, his eyes full of awe.

Hendrix checked his watch, sighing as if it was getting late. “Shall we sort that out?” he asked casually, pointing down at Felix’s bulging erection that hadn’t gone down all evening.

Felix looked surprised at being asked, yet Hendrix’s tales had wound him up enough that there was no chance of him saying no. He was one of those men who just seemed so much more malleable when he was horny. Soon, he was back at Hendrix’s new place, dropping his pants and relieved to finally have someone stroking his dick at long last.

Hendrix was determined that it shouldn’t be a quick fix, despite how desperate Felix seemed to want to climax, slapping the guy’s hand away each time he seemed to grab his own hardness in an attempt to make himself finish. He could see why the fatties had fallen for him. Felix had a fine body, with cute, pert little glutes that Hendrix knew he would need to stick his dick between soon. It was how he came, twenty minutes later, ploughing his harness into the delighted Felix whilst the guy lay on his front, pressed into the bed. 

After climaxing, Hendrix rolled them both onto their sides, still keeping himself fully erect and inserted. He moved quickly, reaching behind the pillow to where he had stealthily hidden a can of whipped cream. “It’s your turn!” he whispered, knowing just how achingly horny the boy was by that point. He couldn’t see his reaction as he took in the can of cream, but Felix would have been naive if he hadn’t known this was coming. “You know my rule…” Hendrix whispered, inserting the nozzle between the guy’s lips. “If I fuck them, I fatten them.”

There was a click as the fresh can sprang into life. Felix’s submissive mouth was filling with cream whilst Hendrix slid his other large hand up and down the guy’s shaft. This was it: the moment Felix was at last going to be allowed to climax. The boy swallowed and swallowed, desperate for Hendrix to keep on working his erection and not stop. He seemed to intuitively know that every scrap of pleasure Hendrix provided would be conditional upon this one concession of his: swallow the cream down.

Hendrix chuckled, unable to help how amusing he found it all. “Good boy!” he cooed into Felix’s ear as he felt the hardness pulse and almost quiver; the can of whipped cream getting lighter by the second as it was mercilessly pumped down Felix’s throat. There was something so pathetically sexy about the way a guy would relax when this was done; their bodies limp and full of complete unjustified trust in him as Hendrix brought the inevitable explosion closer and closer. Felix whimpered as his erection spluttered and then shot out forcefully across Hendrix’s sheets, making quite the mess. Only the tiniest amount remained in the can, which Hendrix quickly scurried away so that he didn’t see. By the way Felix was looking at him, mouth agape, Hendrix knew that he had just given the guy the best orgasm of his life.

The next day, Hendrix’s only contact with Felix had been to nod at him in mutual appreciation of the very large, deliciously overfed guy who came into the showroom: legs of pure blubber and an ass that was bordering on being too big to be accommodated in the seats of the cars, Hendrix knew that this was a body that they both could drool over. Despite having a sixth sense that the guy didn’t have the money to be a serious buyer, Hendrix indulged the man for a full forty minutes, delaying the inevitable chat about finance options which always sent them running. 

“Why does Felix keep looking over here?” complained one of Hendrix’s new friends at the gay club that weekend. 

“Oh,” smirked Hendrix. “That’ll be me,” he chuckled. “It turns out we’re now colleagues. He works in the finance department of my new showroom.”

“Unlucky you!” growled another. He hadn’t stopped scowling at Felix since he’d first come in.

“He’s developed a bit of a thing for me,” Hendrix went on to explain. “Not that you can blame him!” he winked at them all.

“He’s bad news,” warned Pete, the oldest of the group.

Hendrix nodded in falsely sympathetic agreement. “But I know how to handle guys like Felix. Plus, it might be good to give him a taste of his own medicine…” he laughed, looking squarely at Pete. “Get some revenge for your friend, Lee.”

The guys all leaned in closer; every last one of them. “What were you thinking?”

“No luck this evening?” Hendrix asked half an hour later, strolling over to Felix.

Felix appeared delighted to have Hendrix beside him. He shook his head. “Just the usual chubs,” he replied, without glancing to double check.

“That’s a shame,” Hendrix smiled. “You’ll have to come home with me instead,” he offered, placing his large hand on Felix’s slender butt as if he owned it.

Electricity seemed to crackle in Felix’s eyes. “That doesn’t seem like a bad consolation prize,” he mumbled back, his voice breaking slightly. When Hendrix held out his hand, Felix took it, allowing himself to be led out of the club; completely oblivious to the amount of knowing eyes that were upon him.

“Who the hell is that?” asked Felix, hearing someone knocking at the front door some time later as he made out with Hendix on his couch.

Hendrix lifted himself up and pulled out his wallet to tip the delivery person, returning to Felix’s side holding two large boxes of meat and cheese-filled pizzas. “You know my rule,” he grinned, opening the box and letting out a plume of delicious scents, “If I fuck them, I fatten them…”

Felix raised his eyebrows, as if trying to work out when Hendrix had even had time to order pizzas since they had arrived back at his place. He wriggled nervously in his seat, unsure whether he should lie back or sit up. Meanwhile, Hendrix set to work stimulating the guy’s little dick, ensuring it was pumped and ready for some kinky fun. “Alright��� maybe just a bit of pizza,” he conceded. 

In Hendrix’s experience, in order to flip a feeder, you needed three things: a definite, unrelenting admiration of fat guys, a potential submissive streak, and a super hard, easily excited dick. That last one had become tonight’s focus. Hendrix worked that sensitive muscle between Felix’s legs with a cherishing love, knowing that it was the key to everything that would come next. If Felix had ever been a feeder of any sort of substance, he should have realised how keenly Hendrix was educating himself on how best to stimulate his dick: the grip strength, the speed of the stroke, the positioning. If he could edge him well enough, he knew he could make Felix do anything he wanted in time. Tonight, Felix wanted to climax, there was no doubt about that. Hendrix just had to make sure that he had maximum results on the calories front before that happened.

Three weeks into all this and Hendrix knew that Felix was ready for the chat. He’d witnessed a slight softening in the torso and a subtle broadening in the guy’s rear. “You know I’m going to get bored of all this soon, unless I start seeing some results?” He shrugged his shoulders, looking at Felix earnestly. “I am what I am,” he sighed. “A feeder soon gets bored without some blubber to play with.”

His timing had been good, with Felix having spent the last 30 minutes sucking on cream and getting pounded until he practically exploded everywhere. It was obvious from the soppy eyed expressions Felix gave him that no one had ever pleasured the boy quite like this. “I’m up five pounds,” he tried to answer.

Hendrix scoffed. “Five pounds?” he repeated back to him, as if emphasising how pathetic it sounded. “You know what I am,” he whispered smoothly, sliding down the bed and spooning the naked guy until Hendrix’s semi-erection nestled back between Felix’s butt cheeks, where it belonged. “I want a piggy!”

“I’ve never thought about gaining myself,” Felix replied quietly.

“Until now…” Hendrix reminded him, kissing the back of his head sweetly. “You can’t tell me you haven’t enjoyed those five extra pounds I’ve put on you.” His hand reached into Felix’s groin, feeling that the guy was indeed getting hard again. Slowly, he began to tug it, knowing how much more malleable the boy became when he was horny. In reality, the guy should have been wise to this sort of manipulation, were he really as adept at feeding as he had previously claimed to be in his previous relationship.

Felix moaned in agreement, his eyes rolling back into his head.

“And you want to put on more weight for me, don’t you?” Hendrix asked him, pushing a much firmer erection back inside him. “You want to make me proud to fuck you, right?”

Felix’s body completely relaxed, enjoying the submission as he prepared to be fucked once more. “Yes,” he whispered diligently back, as if hardly comprehending what a momentous milestone he had just passed.

Over the years, Hendrix had met a few guys like Felix; sling a hard dick inside them and they gave in entirely. The only difference here was the fantastic, instant access Hendrix had to Felix for so much of the week. Hendrix could whip up his most devious calorie shakes, then chuckle as he’d watch Felix discovering it in his desk drawer at work; slowly sucking it all down throughout the morning in the hope that Hendrix may pleasure him in the bathroom come lunchtime.

“You’ll see when he comes in,” Hendrix boasted to his friends at the gay bar. “His face is puffing up quite a bit and those tight little glutes of his have swollen out somewhat!”

“Is he actually getting a belly?” asked Pete, surprisingly thrilled by Hendrix’s genius plan to enact revenge for them all.

Hendrix considered for a second. “It’s more of a paunch than a belly. But if you want me to put a gut on him, I can definitely make that work,” he smiled obligingly.

The whole gang chuckled, nodding their heads. “Do it!” they cried, as if this was all one giant, elaborate prank.

Hendrix sighed, pretending to find this to be one long, tedious homework assignment; as if he was doing all this out of a kindness to them all. “Very well,” he nodded. “I’ll see what I can do for you.”

When Felix arrived twenty minutes later, Hendrix was delighted with the fit of the guy’s pants, stretching across the broader, softer glutes. Even in the middle of the bar, Hendrix couldn’t resist gently stroking the tubbier rear, knowing that the eyes of everyone were watching his every move. He paraded the boy for a good thirty minutes, before slowly guiding him out; taking him back home to fatten and fuck him; much like every night.

“I’ll tell you who’s packed on a few pounds recently,” grunted Roy, one of the mechanics in the back. “Have you noticed Felix’s stomach recently?” he asked Hendrix and a couple of the other guys as they took a few moments outside to chat at the end of the lunch break.

“Yeah, I noticed that,” nodded another mechanic. “He’s starting with a right little beer gut,” he agreed.

“Well, what do you expect?” Hendrix shrugged. “The guy sits on his butt at a computer screen all day,” he explained, rolling his eyes as if Felix was nothing more than lazy. “He’s not up on his feet all day like we are.”

The other guys nodded, feeling that, despite whatever the admin-pushers like Felix believed, it was really their hard graft that kept this place running. “I have a cousin who ballooned after he got an office job,” agreed one. “It’s not good for you at all.”

At that moment, Felix appeared from around the corner; his portly little stomach straining the buttons of his shirt after quietly consuming two of the calorie shakes Hendrix had left for him that day. He called across to one of them, asking if certain parts had arrived so that he could finish writing up an invoice, then spun back around, giving them all a perfect view of his thicker glutes. Once out of earshot, the guys all looked at each other and burst out laughing. There was no doubt about it: Felix was slowly becoming quite the fat boy.

Perhaps Felix hadn’t even noticed how much more he was able to eat over the coming weeks and months, but the change had been nothing if not deliberate. With each kinky act of foreplay, Hendrix had slowly raised his expectations for what he expected Felix to consume. The fat itself was packing on beautifully across Felix’s sides, giving him deliciously cute, plump-looking love handles that completely altered his previously slender shape. Simply watching them emerge had given Hendrix a thrill unlike any other.

“Time to step on the scales,” Hendrix cooed, rousing Felix from his sleep that Sunday morning.

Felix groaned a little and rolled over in bed. It had only been four hours since he had been woken and fondled until he was horny enough to swallow down a gainer shake for Hendrix in the middle of the night. Ultimately, however, he was a good boy, dragging himself out of bed for a quick bathroom stop before the scales were ceremoniously brought out in front of Hendrix’s full-length mirror.

“Look at you!” Hendrix marvelled, admiring the way the blubber had continued to spread itself around Felix’s waist that week. There was no denying the fact that the guy was getting little moobs, with even the tops of his arms starting to puff up in a way that only happened with a consistent period of prolonged weight gain. Hendrix pulled down the tight boxer shorts that Felix had slept in, noticing all the little marks where they had been quietly digging into his plushier flesh. 

A lover of fat, even Felix couldn’t help getting hard as he saw it all and felt Hendrix’s large hands bouncing his heavier glutes up and down. His thighs had taken on quite a lot of fresh lard the last couple of weeks, making even Felix’s most resistant clothes absolutely redundant.

“Are you ready to find out how fat you are today?” Hendrix whispered into the boy’s ear, playing with Felix’s dick to ensure he was super turned on before he saw the new number on the scales. It had been a good week for gains, that much Hendrix was sure of; the traces of Felix’s former slender 145lb body slowly disappearing.

Felix nodded and stepped on; his cute little double chin showing itself as he looked down over the top of his developing gut at the building numbers. Two weeks ago, he had crossed 200lbs for the first time. Now the numbers were crossing that threshold with ease: 208…211… higher and higher.

“Fuck!” Felix gasped as it was obvious where the number was going to settle. He turned to Hendrix, catching the sparkling joy in his feeder’s eyes as. “How have I put on so much this week?”

“Because you’re a greedy little fucker,” Hendrix chuckled back, making his lover step off and onto the scales a further two times, just to be certain of the measurement. He grabbed a handful of lard from Felix’s stomach and held it proudly. “I’ll have another eight pounds on you next week as well,” he declared. He’d practically moved Felix in to get these sorts of gains on him, but with results like these, it had all been absolutely worth it.

Hendrix turned Felix back to the mirror, grabbing the boy’s hands and making it grab onto the flesh blubber. He took a step back, watching the former feeder’s love of fat start to wash over him. Felix’s own hands touched all those areas a feeder could never resist. Felix jiggled and bounced himself, raising his arms to admire the new love handles and twisted to see the remarkable transformation of his butt. The boy had always loved seeing fatter bodies, but it was obvious that he had never anticipated the next chubby body he got to play with would be his own. The guy’s dick was so irredeemably hard, Hendrix couldn’t help but laugh. This fatty had the potential to be taken all the way.

Hendrix was greeted as a hero as he strolled about in the gay bar a couple of months later. Whenever Felix went off to the bathroom, someone would come up and pat him on the back, telling him what an amazing job he had done teaching the guy a lesson. They spoke as if it was all done, as if the love handles and the double chin that Felix now owned were the end of the road. To Hendrix, it seemed like the most ridiculous concept to simply stop there. 

“He’s quite a greedy boy, y’know,” he told them all with a grin. “He almost seems oblivious to how much he overeats now. I definitely don’t think he’s done growing yet. That fat ass of his is pretty much made from pure ice cream!” he chuckled.

The guys nodded. They couldn’t help but notice the ridiculous shape of Felix’s glutes in the tight pants he’d worn that night. “Well, no one can deny that you’re committed to the cause!” they’d laugh back.

Hendrix smirked and nodded, spotting Felix making his way back towards him. “Karma’s a bitch!” he winked at them conspiratorially as they all drifted away once more, leaving Hendrix to play his games with Felix.

“How come they all still love you so much?” Felix asked, frowning at the fact that his lover was always so popular here. “Look at how much weight I’ve gained! Surely they must know that you’re a feeder?”

Hendrix laughed, slipping his large hand over Felix’s heavy glutes, rubbing and patting them with pride; the feature he most adored on Felix’s overweight body. It felt even more erotic to enjoy touching him like this in here, where everyone had known his previously slim physique so well before. “I’m just a bit cleverer than you,” he whispered back. “I could turn you into a literal mountain of lard and still have them love me.”

“But, how?” Felix pressed, having his fat stomach rubbed by Hendrix right there in the middle of the bar. He clearly could not comprehend how easily his lover was simply getting away with it all, whilst he himself had been ostricised. 

“Oh, it’s even better than that!” Hendrix smiled, pulling out a coupon for the ice cream joint down the street. “You wouldn’t believe how many of them keep giving things like this to me. They’re all so ridiculously fixated on disliking you that they don’t even realise what I am.” He laughed as he looked around at the faces in the bar. “They all think they’re in on it.”

“They do?” Felix asked in surprise, realising that he’d never quite understood the status Hendrix had in this bar. “No one is trying to stop you? At all?”

“Not one!” Hendrix smiled victoriously. “I’ve got free rein to do with you as I like,” he whispered, resuming his stroking of Felix’s oversized rear once more. “So I’m going to keep adding pounds and pounds and pounds of pure blubber to you. Then I’ll watch as it slowly dawns on them all how they all foolishly enabled and encouraged me…”

Felix looked around, clearly noticing how admired Hendrix was in here. “How long do you think that will take?” he asked, sceptically.

Hendrix smirked again. “Who knows?” he laughed. “Another one hundred pounds… two hundred… Hell, I might need to fatten you up forever in order for them to realise they invited an actual feeder into their circle of trust.”

“You really want to keep going that far?” Felix asked, stroking the back of his head nervously.

“Let me ask you, would you have ever stopped fattening your ex if he hadn’t wanted surgery?”

Felix looked a little sheepish. “No, I guess not,” he mumbled.

Hendrix nodded. “Exactly!” he declared. “Once you’ve sunk your claws into a fatty, there’s no letting go!”

Sometimes, there was a misty eyed look that Felix gave whenever Hendrix let out his most harsh and blunt thoughts. A lust would come over him that was so obvious to Hendrix. The guy became putty in his hand; ready to be pushed and cajoled in any direction Hendrix wanted. 

“How about we get out of here, Piggy?” Hendrix whispered into Felix’s ear. “I’m in the mood to watch you gorge yourself into oblivion tonight!”

Despite the kinkiness of their situation, Hendrix was genuinely delighted to have Felix in his life. Not only was he the guy who was the most sexually compatible with him, but he was also genuinely quite sweet and thoughtful once all his kinks were being managed. However, untamed, Hendrix could see what a nightmare the boy would have been to date previously. Just like Hendrix, he could get turned on at the drop of a hat, and Hendrix could imagine how slyly manipulative he would have been to push calories onto his former lovers. Now, whenever he got horny, he would take himself off to the well stocked kitchen cupboards and rip open a box of something tasty, feeding himself as Hendrix watched on with pleasure. It definitely helped that he too had once been a feeder. He had at least some understanding of how Hendrix’s brain worked. He knew how to dress himself to emphasise those gains and could wrap Hendrix’s fingers around those fleshier regions of his body that no feeder could resist touching.

“I never imagined I’d one day be over three hundred pounds!” Felix laughed to himself, admiring his fat body in the mirror as Hendrix climbed into the bed behind him.

“Well, believe it, buddy!” Hendrix laughed, enjoying the sight of Felix’s round, chubby glutes. For him, the boy was just entering the sweet stage, where even his hips were starting to pile on the pounds, altering his shape into that of a man of more extreme obesity. He was blowing up out of everything he had worn in the last few months; older stretch marks fading and newer ones coming in. There was something so comical about a guy with nipples drooping like Felix’s had started to do; the way the fat was spreading into his chest and bulging under his arms; those fat-filled upper arms and the complete domination of fat under his chin. “I’ve got plenty more pounds I want to add to you!” he grinned, smiling at the indestructible hardness that was straining from Felix’s body, even as a sizable pouch of fat pressed it down slightly in the guy’s groin. His body rippled and jiggled as he strutted over to the bed, the blubber spreading out onto the mattress once he finally lay down. He didn’t flinch as Hendrix reached across to his bedside table and picked up the nightly calorie shake, inserting the nozzle into Felix’s mouth.

Felix moaned, rubbing his little dick as he swallowed and swallowed. A lot of the time, he would simply gaze submissively into Hendrix’s eyes as he did this; adoring the muscular stud, freshly returned from his evening gym session, ready to play. It was the perfect lifestyle for him. Hendrix didn’t ask anything more of him than this: the blissful act of consuming and growing for him. And so he drank every last drop as if this was all he had ever wanted for himself.

One of the things that had bonded Hendrix and Felix together so much was their shared experience of growing up with undeniably crappy parents. The only major difference was that Hendrix had picked himself up and moved his entire life away from all that, whilst Felix had remained close by, keeping them at arm’s length. 

Not having to worry about impressing Felix’s super religious parents had certainly given Hendrix a freedom he would not have otherwise had as the date approached when he would have to meet them both. “You know what I love about you?” Hendrix smiled, watching his lover gorging his breakfast that morning. “You’re a great little stress eater!”

Felix smiled faintly. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous,” he shrugged.

“It’s the first time your parents have seen you since you turned into such a fatty,” Hendrix bluntly replied, stroking the broad back of his three hundred and fifty pound lover and already plotting how many extra calories he could get into Felix that morning whilst he was in this heightened state.

“Is my large black sweater out of the wash?” Felix asked.

Hendrix rolled his eyes. “You’re planning on wearing that?” he sighed disappointedly, knowing just as well as Felix did that it was the one item of clothing that best disguised that impeccable size of Felix’s stomach.

“What else would I wear today?” Felix shot back.

“The pink sweater?” Hendrix shrugged.

Felix couldn’t hold back his laughter. “No way!” he chuckled. “That thing stopped fitting weeks ago, You only like it because it makes me look enormous!”

“You are enormous,” Hendrix shrugged again. “What’s the point in trying to hide it? I’m proud of how fat you are. I want people to see it.”

Felix smiled back, feeling a closeness with Hendrix he had never experienced in a relationship before. Sometimes it seemed like it was the two of them versus the entire world. He nodded as Hendrix planted a loving kiss on the top of his head. “Alright then,” he sighed. “I guess we’re really doing this…”

A few hours later, the two men tumbled through the apartment door, wrapped around each other and desperately trying to remove their clothes in a fit of steamy lust. The meeting couldn’t have gone worse and, consequently, it could not have inflamed both their kinks more. Felix’s parents had been in complete shock at the size of their boy, referring to Felix as a ‘fat pig’ and a ‘fatty.’ They’d been disgusted at how much Felix had ordered to eat and had called Hendrix out as they could see him trying to slyly push more food onto their son. Hendrix had loved every second of it, agreeing with them that he enjoyed the shape of Felix’s body and even thanking them for raising a son with such a hearty appetite. For the first time, Felix had let himself go in front of them, feeling strong with Hendrix by his side. The shock and horror on the older couple’s faces when Hendrix had told them about their musing about getting married. It wasn’t enough that they staunchly disagreed with gay men getting married, but the idea of their boy tethering himself to a feeder had almost sent them into a blind panic, leaving the table just as the main course was arriving.

The two men had stayed behind, with Felix quietly coached into consuming both of his parents’ meals as they further discussed the idea of getting married should Hendrix get the dream job he wanted in Seattle. All that eating, the talk of commitment and the exciting plans; it had sent them both into a spiralling horniness that could not be undone. The failed catch-up with Felix’s folks had proven one thing: they needed to live their lives for themselves, and no one else.

Back at the bar a few weeks later, the distrust of Hendrix had never been more apparent. Despite throwing the rug from under them by announcing that he was leaving town, the fact that he was taking Felix with him, and had even become engaged to him had completely thrown them all. At last, they could see what they had been a part of. Hendrix had never really cared about the things that had gone on before he arrived, He’d simply been riding a wave that had allowed him complete freedom to get his kicks in exactly the same way Felix had in the past.

Everyone had been polite, despite the many things that they may have been muttering to themselves under their breath as Felix’s ass crack and underbelly became more and more visible as the beers went down. One thing was for certain: these two freaks deserved each other. 

“No regrets?” Hendrix asked, finally sitting himself down next to Felix on their new couch, overlooking the Seattle skyline from the large window.

“None,” beamed Felix back.

The pair kissed sweetly before Hendrix pulled out his cell phone. “Well then, I guess it’s time to start trying out some of these new take out places,” he chuckled. “Buckle up, Fat Boy! You’re in for a tough few weeks ahead!”

[wileys-russo]

christmas showcase II a.russo

lil christmas fic for the maternal instincts universe christmas showcase II a.russo

"what so the state wide budget gets cut, something entirely out of your hands, and now the school expects teachers to pay for the supplies for christmas crafts for the kids?" your girlfriend scoffed in disbelief as you smiled, dumping another armful of stationary into the trolley you'd tasked her to push.

"yeah thats the reality year round love, did you ever have a pizza party in school? teacher funded." you hummed, alessias eyes widening even further as you squatted down, thumbing through the craft paper for the colours you needed.

"what!" "mhm, we've discussed this before less." "well yeah, but-well-" you stood back up and dropped the packs of craft paper onto your ever growing stack of supplies. "butts are for ashtrays, not conversations." you teased, lightly patting her cheek and striding on ahead.

"ugh please don't teacher talk me." alessia groaned pushing the cart after you. "then don't speak like one of my students." you stuck your tongue out at her as the blonde pulled a face.

"hey where's bella? bell!" alessia called out in realisation, head scanning the aisle and not seeing her anywhere. "probably adding more to her list for santa." you chuckled knowingly, and sure enough moments later the five year old came skidding around the corner.

"what did we say about running off?" alessia warned making you smile, the older girl not always having felt comfortable 'parenting' bella, but the last few months she'd really melted into it and taken it in her stride.

"i didn't run! i walked." bella nodded matter of factly, squealing as alessia mocked her and tugged playfully on her ear. "are you nearly done? the monsters hungry again!" bella sighed, patting her stomach dramatically and sagging into alessia's leg as the two of you shared a grin.

"the monster who just insisted you needed an extra two pieces of toast this morning? and who just had a blueberry muffin?" you teased, placing a few more things into the cart as bella huffed.

"no! the muffin was for me, i'm a growing girl who needs her energy to get big and strong, to stay healthy and match ready." bella parroted as you shot your girlfriend a look, the words may have been coming from your daughters mouth but they weren't hers.

"well ronaldo you don't have football for another two months so i am sure we can help you grow another inch or two by then!" you laughed, tugging her beanie down over her eyes as the three of you headed toward the registers.

"thats not funny! daddy said its your fault im so short." bella scowled stomping on ahead. "yeah well your dad didn't hit his growth spurt until he was sixteen!" you called out with a roll of your eyes, tugging the beanie over her eyes again as she stopped to finger her way through the candy display at the front of the store.

"less!" you protested when your girlfriend grabbed the chocolate bar bella was eagerly pointing to, giving her a look. "what? this is for my monster, he's hungry too!" the blonde pointed at her stomach as bella giggled and you sighed shaking your head and beginning to load things onto the conveyor belt.

"thank you." you smiled kindly to the young boy at the register, who you assumed was a football fan given the wide eyed glances he kept shooting your clueless girlfriend, too busy holding the chocolate out of bellas eager reach.

"she doesn't mind when people ask for photos." you whispered to him as his cheeks flushed and you sent him a wink, tugging the trolley forward and loading the last bag, calling out for your daughter who grabbed your outstretched hand.

sure enough alessia hung behind to take a photo with the young boy whose elated grin stretched ear to ear, the blonde jogging to catch up with the two of you as you made your way across the parking lot to the car.

"so, are you and harvey excited for christmas mutant?" alessia questioned as she buckled bella in and you loaded the bags in the back, poking at the teddy bear securely buckled in with her.

"yeah! mummy did you send my letter to santa? did you? did you?" bella asked once you'd arrived home, bouncing up and down on the driveway as you chuckled at her excitement.

"sure did babe, mailed it on friday and put on 4 stamps just like you asked me to." you confirmed, looking down at her with a smile and pinching her cheeks as she squealed and kicked her leg at you.

"mama did you finish your list for santa yet? mummy and i finished ours!" bella accused as alessia grabbed the bags out of the boot, only half listening.

"mama?" "sorry what was that bell?" "your santa list, did you finish it?"

"my...santa list?" alessia glanced at you curiously as you subtly nodded. "oh, yes! yes i did." alessia clarified with a firm nod, bella sighing in relief and racing off to the front door, you and alessia following after and letting her inside.

"so your mums still fine with us coming for christmas?" you asked a little while later, bella not long having gone to bed as you and alessia laid on the sofa watching a film.

"are you joking?" alessia asked seriously, sitting up a little more with a frown as you blushed.

"well its just-you know this is our first christmas together. and i've not been with someone for a christmas since i had bella, i forget how it works." you mumbled, a little embarrassed, groaning and covering your face with your hands.

"it works the same as any other christmas! except this time my family have a beautiful little girl to spoil rotten and i have a gorgeous girlfriend to sit with at dinner." alessia laughed, wrenching your hands away from your face.

"don't laugh! you know i overthink everything." you sighed, playfully hitting her shoulder as she grabbed your legs, tugging you closer so you were practically in her lap.

"well christmas eve we'll be here, and we'll make cookies and watch christmas films and do all the traditions you and bell have for years, which i feel very honoured to learn and participate in." alessia started, absentmindedly tracing patterns on your forehead.

"and make christmas tree shaped pizzas, just like i promised bella." alessia added before you could chime in as you reached up and squeezed her face in your hand which she batted away with a smile.

"then christmas morning we'll go see your mum and dad for brunch. then we'll go to my parents place in the afternoon, have dinner and mums insisting we all stay the night but i told her i had to check that with the boss first." alessia finished with a curt nod, poking your nose with a wink.

"the boss being me?" "no i meant isabella, obviously?" "ha ha ha."

"yes you!" alessia laughed when you attempted to smack her, catching your hand and kissing it a few times before letting it fall back to your side with a thump.

"if she's prepared for a bossy, chatterbox, sugar hyped five year old running around for hours until she passes out then i think that sounds lovely." you smiled as your girlfriend chuckled and leaned down to press her forehead against yours.

"well then we have a plan baby, nothing to overthink now."

~

"-and you're sure you don't mind if they come?!" alessia asked for the tenth time this morning making you laugh. the school you worked at and bella attended having its annual christmas showcase the end of the week and over half the arsenal girls insistent they attend.

"no babe, i already reserved seats for them and they paid for tickets! bella is very very excited they're coming, usually its just nathan and our parents since i'm backstage helping." you assured, pecking her lips a few times as she tried to argue, softening and pulling you back for a proper kiss.

but that ground to an abrupt halt when gagging noises sounded, bella covering her eyes and very loudly demanding the two of you stop 'swapping spit' as she so eloquently put it, still deep in her kissing is gross phase.

"yuck! have you stopped now?" she questioned, peeking out from her hands as alessia cupped your cheeks and pressed her mouth to yours again making you laugh and bella gag loudly again, covering her face with one hand and her teddys face with the other.

"my eyes are burning!" "oh does that mean you can't see this then?" you questioned, grabbing alessia's face right back as the two of you messily kissed as bella dramatically fell to the floor with a thud and a groan.

"oh she was so young, so full of life!" alessia cried out, scooping your daughter up and carrying her into the kitchen fireman style. "i guess we better go downstairs and bury her in the garden, she did love pulling out the weeds every summer." you sighed, moving to open the front door as bella shot up in your girlfriends arms.

"don't bury me the dirt will go up my nose!" "oh my god she lives!" you yelled out, closing the door and throwing your hands into the air. "almost. i think we might have a zombie on our hands!" alessia hummed, skeptically poking at bellas face who giggled.

"i made something at school!" bella wiggled as alessia put her down and she shot off to her room, giving you just enough time to steal a few more kisses before she returned.

"paper chains for the tree and a star!" bella started, waving you and alessia into the living room and practically pushing you both to sit down as she rummaged around in her bag, only having a few more days left before she was done for the year.

"oh very nice mutant, i like that you used a lot of colours." alessia complimented as the two of you shared a look of amusement, everything draped in enough glitter for two pride parades.

"okay now cover your eyes, and no peeking mama!" bella warned as alessia scoffed with offence. "why did you only warn me?" the striker huffed as you grinned. "because you would peek." bella explained patting the girls knee who rolled her eyes but covered her eyes.

you felt something drop into your lap and heard some shuffling before it was announced the two of you could look. you glanced down to see an ornament in your lap, a bright red bauble with mummy scrawled on it in hot pink glitter glue.

"oh bella." you looked to your side to see alessia had one as well, but you couldn't quite make out what it said but it appeared to have more writing on it than yours.

"do you like it? i chose red for arsenal!" bella beamed, puffing her chest out proudly as alessia turned it a little so you could read.

mama's first christmas.

"oh bell, they're beautiful." you smiled softly, picking her up into a tight hug, squeezing your girlfriends knee who seemed lost for words.

"cause its your first one with us! my teacher had to help me with the writing." bella explained, head resting on your shoulder as she reached her other arm out for alessia to join the hug.

"oh less!" you groaned as the blonde practically tackled the pair of you to the sofa in a tight bear hug making bella giggle as alessia kissed all over both of your faces.

"best christmas ever."

~

"does every parent tell their kid they can sing even when they're this horrible?" leah whispered skeptically as alessia shot her a look and lia rammed an elbow in her other side making her wheeze.

"what! just a question." leah grumbled, alessia smiling apologetically to the sharp shush which sounded from a man in the row in front of them. "i think it is sweet." lia defended, the choir finishing their rendetion of santa clause is coming to town as everyone errupted into applause.

"i think leah should shut up." kyra shrugged once they'd sat back down, the blonde shooting her a glare and reaching over alessia to try and smack the young australian.

"stop it! the pair of you." steph chimed in from kyras other side, smacking the blonde as alessia shoved leah and both girls settled back in their seats with a mutter.

"oh this is bell's class!" alessia perked up as K3 was announced and slowly the very nervous looking kindergartens were ushered onto the stage by a few of the year six kids who were helping out.

you peeked out from the curtain and snickered, catching thirteen phones all up and filming before the song had even started, alessia wiggling her fingers at you with a face eating grin.

"you got this!" you gave the kids on stage a thumbs up, moving out of the way so their teacher could stand in the wings, also doing the dance in case anyone forgot as the opening bars of the song began.

"lessi your face is gonna crack in half if you smile any wider." kyra teased, alessia shushing her as she zoomed in on bella who was easily one of the more enthusiastic of the class as they made their way through their dance.

"now see that? thats real talent." leah nodded, putting her fingers in her mouth and whistling as a womans head whipped around to glare at her and she simply pulled a face making her scoff and turn back around.

"oh my god." you couldn't help but chuckle as right as the song finished the entire row of girls were up on their feet, whistling and clapping like they'd just watched someone score the winning game in extra time, a few other parents giving them strange looks as slowly the kids shuffled off stage and they sat back down.

but judging by the shit eating grin on your daughters face and the pride shining in your girlfriends eyes as bella lingered on stage to wave enthusiastically to her cheer squad before being gently shooed off, it was worth it.

alessia had been right, best christmas ever.

[nyancrimew]

oo if we’re doing queer confessions i got a bit of a long one

first relationship, classic story of not realizing we were into eachother for the longest time, even after regularly kissing and cuddling for almost a year lol (calling him bf 1). went really well actually after we properly got together

after about a year or so, bf 1’s ex (not on any sort of bad terms INITALLY) (calling him bf 2) who was my best friend asks if we wanted to just be in poly relationship together since we all had confessed to eachother at once point and we say yeah sure we still all like eachother, it took bf 1 a few months to think over first which was fine by all of us, so we just continued all being close friends for a few months till then. few months later, he says yea sure that’d be fine and so we started trying it out since we had all been really happy with eachotehr up to that point

literaly the same exact night that happened, bf 2 changed his attitude towards me completely and despite being very good friends before this and loving eachother he started ignoring me and claiming he just didn’t have energy to do anything ever, while constantly showering bf 1 in overwhelming affection and hundreds of smaller things like that where i’d get left in the dust while he would get mounds of attention. he was just as unnerved by it as i was.

i was a bit dumb and so didn’t really act on this for a while despite realizing immediently it was weird, and after a few months me and bf 1 started talking about it privately and realized he was just flat out lying to both of us and expected us to like. not talk about it?? like super blatant things llike telling me he didn’t value sex in a relationship at all and didn’t want it with me while minutes later telling bf 1 that sexual intimacy is the thing he valued most and wouldn’t want a relationship otherwise

one of the worst thing though (atleast in terms of how much it damaged my understanding and acceptance of myself)) was despite him being nb (he/they) and even experimenting with being a girl for a while he started constantly hanging our own gender identities over our heads and sayin shit like “well i’m gay so if you start identifying as a girl i’m gonna leave” to me when i brought up to him, the first person i talked to it about, that i wanted to be a girl which stunted myself growth by years and similar things to bf 1 who was very openly nb (which, wow i’m relazing as i’m typing this how casually mysoginsitc he was, he made all sorts of “jokes” about how inherently disgusting traditionally feminine bodily features were)

after about a year of this (me and other bf were just too scared to leave, but we definently should of) he actually broke up with me , and tried to speak on behalf of bf 1 claiming they just both wanted me out of the polycule, also just a straight up lie as when i talked to him about it . after talking for a while and asking some mutual friends we figured out he told literally every single person a different, conflicting story and putting the pieces together we came to conclusion that he was just using me as a throwaway tool to get back together with bf 1 to squeeze himself in the relationship, and tried dumping me out so he could be monogamous with him only.

needless to say bf 1 dumped his ass less than a week later after we finally were able to decipher the literally 10 different conflicting stories, and this story actually does have a really happy ending!! me and bf 1 are still besties and kiss a lot while he found another much sweeter and nicer boyfriend, i got another girlfriend with a shared pet kittygirl shortly after that helped me through the whole thing and i’ve never been happier about my body image/self image and gender identity in my life. IM FINALLY A CUTE GIRL WITH A CUTE GIRLFRIEND WE MADE IT NYALL :3!!!

(and as a nice bonus ontop, the only time i hear about him now is from other people realizing how scummy he was and cutting him off, leaving himself to rot in a hole of his own making surrounded by people jus like him. feels great to be away from that whole toxic friendgroup in general. freedom.)

(anyway thanks, “but we stay silly :3” was a quote regularly said to myself during the recovery of all this )

yipppeeee, we really do stay silly!!!

[wwilsonbarness]

my girl

pairings:  bucky barnes x female!reader 

summary: based on the request below!

Warnings: smut 18+ only - established relationship, quick mention of reader being a teacher, minorrrr angst (like not at all), mentions of anxiety, fluff fluff fluff, smut (unprotected sex, public sex, creampie, nipple play, spit kink), use of pet names (sweet girl, baby) - let me know if i missed any please :) 

word count: 2842

a/n: not beta read or really edited lol. Also my first time writing in months so this is kinda shit. 

Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) 

I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform. Do not read or interact if you are a minor.

masterlist

“How do I look?” You ask Bucky as you walk into the kitchen, twirling slightly to show off your outfit. 

“Beautiful as always doll.” He walks towards you and brushes his lips against your forehead. “Don’t be nervous, they’re gonna love you.” 

Bucky always knew how you were feeling, even when you were trying to hide it. 

You take a deep sigh before replying, “I just want to make a good first impression, I know they’re important to you.” 

“Not as important as you are doll.” You feel his smirk against your forehead as he brings himself closer for another kiss. 

“Forever the charmer Buck, I love you.” 

“I love you too,” He grabs your hand and pulls you towards the door, “come on, we don’t wanna be late.” 

You try to stop in front of the mirror to check how you look once more but he stops you, “Stop worrying baby, you look perfect.” 

“I just want them to like me.”

“And they will, I promise” 

Everything about your relationship with Bucky had been amazing so far but the idea of meeting his friends, the people who had been there for him since he became himself again, before you even knew each other, was terrifying. If they didn’t like you, what would that mean? Sure Bucky says you’re the most important person in his life but no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t convince yourself that if his friends didn’t like you then Bucky would dump you. 

“Baby, you have got to stop worrying. They’re gonna love you.”

“You don’t know that Bucky.”

“But I do..” He trails off his words to show you how confident he is about this. Your lips come together in a little pout, which Bucky finds adorable. 

It was only a 15 minute drive to the tower where the rest of the Avengers lived, you were secretly hoping there would be some traffic to hold you up but the roads were nowhere near as busy as they usually were. Bucky could feel the anxiety radiating off you, he wished he could take it away from you, there was really 0 chance that his friends wouldn’t love you, but you were naturally an anxious person and he knew that so he did what he knew comforted you and rubbed circles over your hand on the drive there. You appreciated him for trying to comfort you but your anxiety would not ease up. You’d never felt this nervous before, you must’ve completely zoned out for the rest of the car ride because what felt like only a minute later had actually been 15 and you were pulling up to the tower. 

Bucky had a quick chat with the gate attendant before driving through the gates and parking in his designated spot. 

“You ready doll?” He asks, turning himself towards you with a soft smile on his face.

“Mhmm, let’s go.” You were not ready but you didn’t want to ruin Bucky’s night, it’d been a while since he’d seen everyone with all the missions everyone had recently been on and you knew he was excited. 

He quickly climbed out the car and made his way to your side, always insisting on opening your door for you. When you get out he holds his hand out for you and you immediately grab hold of it. He pulls you closer towards you and plants a gentle kiss on your forehead before whispering to you. “I promise baby, it’s gonna be fine.” You shoot him a quick, almost forced smile, and nod, showing you were ready to go in. 

It only takes a few minutes to get up to the living quarters side of the tower, and now a quick elevator ride was the only thing between you and people Bucky loves. As the elevator started to slow you took a deep breath and readied to walk out. As soon as the doors open you can hear a loud laugh boom through the room followed by a quiet chuckle beside you. It had only been a couple seconds and Bucky was already so happy to be back here. 

As you turned the corner your eyes quickly scanned the room trying to put names to faces of everyone Bucky had told you about. Obviously you knew everyone's superhero names, but to Bucky they were his friends, his family, not superheroes. Suddenly everyone had turned your way and you realise Bucky had made both your presences known. You felt like all eyes were on you and Bucky could tell your nerves had shot up, so he lightly gave your hands a squeeze.”Hey guys.”

“Hey Bucky!” Sam shouted over and began walking towards you. “You must be Y/N? Bucky’s told me a lot about you.” 

You nod towards, who you knew to be Sam, as much as Bucky told you they weren’t best friends, you knew that they were. You smile and hold your hand out to shake his. “That’s me, nice to meet yo-” Before you could finish, Sam pulled you in for a hug. 

“We’re all about hugs here. You’re part of the family now.” You can’t help but laugh and hug him back. You really appreciated him being so welcoming, he was the one person you were most worried about not liking you. From what Bucky told you, he was very protective over the people he cares about. 

“Alright Wilson, don’t scare my girl away.” Sam pulls away and moves to Bucky to give him a hug as well. 

You look at Bucky and smirk, "Your girl, hm?” He looked confused for a split second before the tips of his ears started to turn bright red and his usual smug smirk disappeared when he realised what he’d said. 

“Sorry doll.” You weren’t sure why he was apologising or why he was embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to sa- sorry.” You’d never seen someone's skin turn so red as fast as his had in this moment. 

“Don’t be, I liked it.” You whisper right next to him, hoping no one else heard. Before he could respond to you, more voices filled the space around you. 

“You could’ve just asked for a hug too Bucky, besides if you haven’t scared her off already, I don’t think much will” Sam teases.

“So your girl? Must be serious. I’ll expect my wedding invite any day now. Bucky’s face was only growing redder and he couldn’t look anyone in the eye, forcing his gaze to the floor. His hand was rubbing the back of his neck, something you knew he did when he was embarrassed. You took a small step closer to him and rubbed your hand on his arm, showing you really didn’t mind the nickname, in fact you loved it. A small smile was starting to form on his face but before you could see it grow any more a voice pulled you away.

“Alright Wilson, stop hogging them. The rest of us want to introduce ourselves as well.” You instantly recognise the face as Clint, someone who Bucky truly owed a lot to. He had let Bucky live with him and his family for a bit when he needed some time away from the city. The memories of Steve leaving and his past life got too much to handle and he already felt like he had imposed too much on Sam and his family. He would forever be grateful for Clint and Laura taking him in, he really felt a part of their family, so much so that their kids had started calling him Uncle Bucky. 

Clint put his hand towards yours and introduced himself, “Hi Y/N, I’m Clint. Sorry about him, I promise we’re not all as crazy as him.” You laughed at his joke and shook his hand. It’s lovely to finally meet you Clint, Bucky’s spoken a lot about you.” 

“It’s all lies.” He jokes before moving onto Bucky and giving him a side hug. 

“Laura and the kids here too clint?”

Clint shook his head before moving to stand in front of you both. “Sorry Buck, they had some school things on, but they made me promise to ask you to visit soon, and to bring your girl!” Clint replies with a wink which makes you laugh. Bucky couldn’t stop his huge smirk from reappearing as Clint called you his girl. 

As they continued talking more people made their way over to you and introduced themselves. First there was Joaquin and then Sarah and her boys. The boys completely skipped saying hello to you and ran over to their uncle Bucky before Sarah called them back to apologise. They came back and introduced themselves and with a little nudge from Sarah apologised for rushing past you. “That’s okay, I know you're excited. It was very nice to meet you both boys.” They shook your hand and ran over again to Bucky.

“Sorry about them, I swear they love Bucky more than they love me sometimes.” Sarah smiled at seeing how nicely you fit into the group and gave you a hug, just like how Sam had to show you that you were welcomed. Once all the introductions were done you all sat down in the living room. You were the main topic of the conversation, everyone was interested in knowing how one person had completely changed Bucky’s life. 

“So Y/N,” Wanda started, “Bucky said you’re a teacher?” 

“Yeah that’s right.” You slightly laughed aftwards, not because it was funny but you were slightly panicking being the centre of attention around all these people. Especially since some of them were literal superheroes. “I know it’s not as exciting as you guys but I enjoy it.”

Everyone quickly spoke up and defended you against yourself. Especially Sarah and Clint, with having kids they knew how important teachers were. It felt good knowing that they thought that of you, even though you were still feeling anxious, everyone had been so welcoming to you and you weren't sure why you were so nervous.You didn’t notice but Bucky was looking at you as you spoke, his eyes were a tell tale sign that he was so proud of you. He knew how hard you worked and loved when you got the recognition you deserve. 

“What age do you teach?” Joaquin asked next.

“Oh erm, at the moment I teach second grade but I’m hoping to move up soon.” 

“It must be hard, kids are annoying little creatures.” Sam says, looking at Cass and AJ for their reactions, they both shout “Hey!” before Sam tickles them. 

Another voice starts, you’re not sure who but doesn't get far before Bucky interrupts. “Alright alright, stop grilling my girl.” His girl. “I haven’t seen most of you guys in months, what’s been happening? 

You look at Bucky and smirk when he calls you his girl again and it only takes a few seconds for him to realise what he’s said again and he can’t help but smirk, knowing that you like it. 

The rest of the night went well, you felt like they all really liked you. Before you knew it, it was around midnight and you were working in the morning so had to get home. 

“Again, it was really lovely to meet all of you! Thank you for a great night.” You say as you head for the elevator, Bucky following close behind. 

“Make sure to tell the boy’s I said bye, Sarah!” Bucky shouts, “Clint, let’s plan a trip soon. See you all later!” Bucky shouts through, the elevator doors just cutting him off.

As soon as the doors shut you lead your head against his shoulder. “You okay sweet girl?” 

“I’m good, just tired.”

“You have a good night?”

You nodded against him, “I’m sorry we couldn’t stay longer.” 

“Hey,” He moved slightly and held your head in his hands, bending over slightly to be eye level as he spoke. “We stayed plenty, I know you have work tomorrow, and plus..” He moved closer to your ear to whisper. “.. I couldn’t do this in there.” He lowered one of his hands to your ass and squeezed before pressing you both against the elevator wall. He moved his lips against yours and kissed you, it was a desperate kiss.  “You like being my girl huh?”

You can’t help but giggle when he calls you his girl again. You bite your lip before answering. “I do..” He lowers his hand to the hem of your dress and traces his fingers over your inner thigh 

“Fuck baby, I nee-” The ding of the elevator doors opening interrupts you both. “Fuck!” Bucky curses everything stopping him from touching you right now. He presses the button to close the doors and immediately after presses the alarm button. The elevator makes a clank noise before it goes silent again, the only sound being you trying to catch your breath after that kiss. Bucky goes back to kissing you but starts on your neck and starts going lower and lower. When his teeth graze over your nipple through your dress you push him back slightly.

“Bucky we can’t here..” You whisper, knowing he can hear your heart beating, you needed him just as bad as he needed you. 

“Baby.. I’ll fuck my girl anywhere I want to.” He says before returning to your tits. You bite back a moan which Bucky notices. Your sex life from bucky wasn’t boring by any means but it had never felt as intense as this. The thrill of being in public was sending chills through you. 

“Oh shit.. Bucky please. 

He lifts your dress up and pulls your panties to the side, using his other hand he unties his jeans and pulls them down enough for his already hard cock to fall out. He rubs his hand over it a couple times and looks at you. “Spit on it for me.” His words send flutters through your stomach and down to your pussy, and you do as he says. 

“You ready?” 

You nod as you answer, “Pleasee.”

He lifts you up and rubs the tip of his cock against your pussy, gathering your slick before he pushes in. “Fuck, my girls got such a tight pussy.” He keeps pushing until he’s fully in, hitting that spot that makes you grab onto his shoulders, your nails digging into him, which he likes. “You feel so good baby.”

“Fuck.. Bucky please..” He feels so good but his thrusts are slow and you need more.

“What do you need?” He smirks at you, knowing exactly what you need but waiting until you ask for it. 

“Fuck me..” Your head falls back, Bucky’s hand cups it to stop it hitting the wall. “Please.”

He chuckles at the desperation in your voice, “Anything for you my sweet girl.” His thrusts fasten and you feel yourself racing towards your high. You use your hands to steady yourself as he fucks into you. You bite your lip to stifle your moan but Bucky doesn’t like that. “Don’t do that baby.. Don’t hide your pretty little noises. I wanna hear you. Want the whole tower to hear how you sound when I fuck you.” 

“Fuck.. Bucky you feel so good. I think I’m gonn-”

“I know baby, it’s okay. Let go for me.” He moves his hand from behind your head and wraps it around your neck. The cold from his touch and him speeding up was enough to send you over the edge.

“Fuckkkk.. Bucky I’m cum- I’m cumming.” 

“Oh Fuck.. I’m there too, baby.” He groans, almost whimpers in your ear. “Feel s’good baby.” He slows his thrusts down as you both come down from your highs.

When you don’t respond he looks at you. “You okay?” 

You can’t speak but you nod your head. 

“You all cockdrunk?” 

“Mhmm.” 

“Such a good girl for me.” He strokes the side of your face and plants a soft kiss on your lips. “Let’s get you home, sweet girl.” 

He slowly inches out of you and sets you down. You stumble a little and grab onto his shoulder to steady yourself. 

“Thank you Buck.” 

“You don’t need to thank me, come on let’s get you home.” He puts his arm around your waist before reaching over and pressing the alarm button again. 

The doors of the elevator open and Sam is standing there, his eyes bulge open before he laughs. You immediately stand up straight and try make yourself look like you haven’t just been fucked moments before but it was obvious. 

You feel your skin warm at being caught but Bucky just laughs beside you like it was no big deal. “I should’ve known it was you two lovebirds causing trouble. Now I know no ones really stuck, I’ll see you guys later” 

“Bye Sam.” You manage to mumble before Bucky pulls you closer, you look at each other and have to hold in your laughter.  

“See ya Wilson.”

“I love you sweet girl.”

“I love you more.” 

[lovelyhan]

— every summertime  ⟢

you're not really interested in the record shop downtown. but people aren't oblivious to the way you keep trying to get into the owner's pants—not even the owner himself.

★ FEATURING; jeonghan x afab!reader

★ WORD COUNT;  16.1k words

★ TAGS; 70s au, playing hard to get, bad bad bad decisions, friends questioning said decisions, reader is a slut in theory but not so much in practice (at least...in the beginning), pining?, angst but like, only a microcosm of angst, smut (MINORS DNI)

★ WARNINGS; alcohol consumption

★ NOTES; if i told you all about how much this fic has changed over the last three months i've spent writing it, you'd all be sick of me going back and forth with the direction i wanted this to go lmfao !!!! i don't think i've ever suffered writing anything as much as i did with this, so i'm proud to be sharing the fruit of every one of my trashed drafts to all of you :') i sincerely hope you all like it T T

this is part of the svthub 70s;teen collab!

★ SMUT TAGS; unprotected sex, jealousy, possessiveness, dom jeonghan bc i just Need him to dom me, vaginal fingering, semi-public sex, dacryphilia kinda?, cockwarming

★ PERMANENT TAGLIST; @cheolhub - @pretty-trustme - @just-here-to-read-01 - @idkmelkro - @dejavernon - @venusrae - @jyiiscool - @jiniesclub - @junhui-recs - @bldelaine - @featmia - @fruitzcup - @hoeforhao - @candidupped - @billboard-singer - @caratochan - @novalpha - @dahliatopia - @0717luv - @shiveringgaze - @toruro - @mixling-blog - @minnie-mouser22 - @homerunhansol - @mirtaspace - @ti--red - @zzucculent - @woozarts - @rubyreduji - @mozellerra - @lllucere - @cheolzip - @jjjzzzz - @lissiesykes - @dearjeonwonwoo - @meowmeowminnie - @colored-confetti - @partiallyinfluencial - @speaknowlwt - @flwrshwa - @lilylikesthat - @aurorahongg - @whippedforjihoon - @todorokiskitten - @immabecreepin - @98-0603 - @peachhiz

★ JEONGHAN TAGLIST; @yoonzinoooo - @scandal-in-bohemia - @bias-recs - @lunaryoongie - @haoxiaoba - @ak6ko

“Ji, I got you a present!”

Your best friend of over ten years glances at you momentarily while he’s in the middle of replacing the strings of his guitar. There’s an unimpressed look on his face when he does it—no different from the way he looks at you whenever you walk in a gritty session of Dungeons and Dragons back in high school. Only this time, you’re being downright annoying for another reason entirely.

“I’m pretty sure you already have all the Led Zeppelin vinyls in existence so I just picked out whatever from the shelf instead,” you tell him nonchalantly as you bring out a spiffy-looking record of Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon. “This one’s nice, isn’t it?”

It is, but here’s the thing:

“I already have that.” Jihoon affixes you with a blank stare as he gets up from his seat, letting his fingers glide across the alphabetized collection on his own shelf. 

Ten seconds later, your best friend pulls a carefully preserved vinyl with the exact same album art plastered on the front, making you lower the one in your hands in abject disbelief. But Jihoon has been friends with you long enough to know that something like this isn’t enough to fluster you.

“Consider it a high quality dupe then.” You giggle maniacally before letting yourself fall on top of Jihoon’s bed and hold the sealed vinyl tightly to your chest. “Jeonghan looked soooo gorgeous today. I was really down in the dumps when I heard that he cut his hair, but there’s just a different appeal when guys have it shorter. You get me, right?”

“I really don’t,” Jihoon deadpans as he plops himself back into his chair, coiling a roll of fresh nylon around the pegs of his guitar. “Don’t you ever get tired of spending your summers chasing after a guy that obviously doesn’t like you back?”

“Don’t you get tired of lecturing me when we both know I’m never gonna listen?” A simper escapes your lips before you engage the Stevie Wonder poster on Jihoon’s ceiling in a staring contest. “Besides, it’s not as if I like like him! I just want to fuck him—big difference.”

There it is—the classic why am I even best friends with you sigh that only makes Jihoon more endearing than he already is. “Let me rephrase then: why do you keep chasing after a guy who obviously doesn’t want to fuck you back?”

Stevie Wonder ends up winning when you shoot back up into a seating position, letting out an obnoxious laugh that you stifle with the same vinyl you supposedly got for Jihoon. “Au contraire! It might seem that way, but you just haven’t seen a person as deep in his own denial as Jeonghan is.”

“Second door to the left—bathroom’s there. I highly recommend that you take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror.” Jihoon’s jaw ticks when he says the words but as long as he isn’t blatantly kicking you out of his room, you’re still within tolerable range. “Didn’t Mingyu set you up with one of his friends? I clearly remember you telling me about it before the semester ended.”

Ah, that’s right. 

Two weeks ago, Kim Mingyu—one of the many friends you’ve left in your hometown—called the telephone that you shared in an apartment with four other girls. When the housemate that answered told you about some guy with a lisp looking for you, you quickly ditched whatever notes you were pretending to read for a quick conversation.

Of course, once Mingyu dropped the call, you quickly turned the telephone dial to ring up your best friend with a pressing question: Mingyu wants to set me up with some guy named Jungkook. Do you know him? 

Jihoon, however, has never met anyone that goes by that name his entire life, which made you draw the conclusion that this Jungkook person must be Mingyu’s friend from another city. He tends to collect people like trading cards and you can’t fault him for it. Mingyu is pretty charming.

Charming enough that you agreed to go hang out with him and Jungkook once you’re back in your hometown.

“Well, he hasn’t contacted me about it again so my Jungkook appointment is on hold until then,” you point out with a huff. “Plus, I don’t see why I should stop trying my chances with Jeonghan just because I’ve got another boy reserved.”

“I don’t remember you being this much of a man-eater last summer.”

“Yet you still love me anyway.” 

Despite already having one in his possession, Jihoon accepts the blasted Pink Floyd vinyl and places the dupe right next to his first copy on the shelf of collectibles. The conversation drifts onto different topics ranging from your mutual struggles with work and the supposed girlfriend that Soonyoung may or may not be lying about. Then right after he finishes restringing his guitar, your best friend walks you home just like old times.

When you’re halfway to the front door of your house, however, Jihoon calls out your name—a sound barely audible in the evening breeze, but you turn around with a questioning look anyway. 

“Don’t be too pushy with Jeonghan, okay?” He instructs sternly. “I know you’re just fucking around, but really, you’re better off investing your time in better things. In better people. Not someone who only keeps you around as a source of entertainment.”

You gasp, covering your mouth with your hand for added flair. “Fucking around? I’m very serious about getting my insides rearranged by him!”

Your best friend makes a face. “Y/N.”

“Just kidding, Ji. You, of all people, should know that I know my limits!” you reassure him with a smile. “Why do you think Jeonghan still speaks to me warmly whenever I walk inside his shop? Whenever I run into him at the disco?”

“Because you’re his customer? And he’s after your money? And maybe he’s a pretty decent person outside his reputation as a sexual fiend?”

“Well that might be true, but that’s also because he’s interested in me too!”

“Good night, Miss Delusional.”

“Good night, Mister Enabler!”

This is pretty much a good summary of your relationship with your best friend. You willingly get yourself tangled up in something incredibly stupid, he tells you off like he’s your mother every time he finds out, and once things start crashing down, you run over to Jihoon in tears while he consoles you for something that’s a hundred percent your fault. It’s quite the understated miracle how he’s tolerated you for so long, but that’s precisely why you’re best friends in the first place.

But there’s this one thing that you can’t tell even Jihoon about. 

“Were you finally out on a date with Jeonghan?”

Your sister, Luna, asks when you make your way to the living room to say hi. She’s nose-deep in one of those Stephen King novels, but her eyes stray away from the pages to spare you a momentary glance. 

You snort. “As if he’s that easy.” 

Luna hums before her eyes wander back to her book. “Mmm. You’re right. If he was, he would’ve gone out with you like, I dunno, three years ago?” 

“You’re such a bitch.”

“And you’re such a coward,” she snorts. “You know, if you just told him hey I’ve been in love with you since we met at Joshua’s graduation party instead of asking if he wants to sleep with you, your odds of getting with him would skyrocket.” 

“Now where’s the fun in that?” you chuckle before stepping inside the living room to ruffle her hair—an act of affection that Luna receives with distaste. “Quit making unnecessary comments about my sex life and help me with dinner before Mom and Dad get home.”

“Your non-existent sex life?”

“Oh, screw you.”

After having dinner with your family, you quickly retreat to your bedroom to retire for the evening before Soonyoung can call your house phone to ask if you’re down for a night out. It’s practically tradition whenever you’re back in town, but your last conversation with Jihoon has been weighing heavily on your mind since you walked inside your house. 

Despite there being a one hundred percent chance that you’ll run into Jeonghan again if you go out with your friends, you’re strangely not in the mood to mingle like you always do. 

You’re better off investing your time in better things. In better people.

That might be true, but…

How can you possibly break free of a cycle you’ve always found yourself tangled up in every summertime? 

THREE SUMMERS AGO

A few nights before graduating from college, Hong Jisoo—better known as Joshua—decided to throw an unforgettable party at a disco club his stepfather owns and monopolizes an entire chain out of. You’re not sure how he managed to pull the strings and smuggle enough booze to make the entire graduating class drunk, but old money does wonders especially in a town as small as this.

You recall it vividly because that was the first time you met Jeonghan.

He was a new face in a crowd of people you practically grew up with. But even if he wasn’t, you still would’ve been able to pick him out of the sea of graduating seniors with ease because of how breathtaking he looks.

His hair was brown when you met him, the tips barely tickling the nape of his neck with bangs framing his soulful eyes. You caught him sipping on a glass of something you can’t really name and the moment your brain managed to process the existence of such a beautiful man in such a boring old town, your immediate reaction was to turn to Mingyu. 

“Who’s that? Violet jacket, white pants? I don’t think I’ve seen him before.”

Mingyu hums before looking around—something made easier by his towering height. “Oh! That’s Jeonghan—Joshua’s brother.”

“Brother?” Jihoon pipes up right next to you, mirroring your surprise. “I thought Joshua was an only child.” 

Seungkwan hisses as he ushers the four of you into a miraculously vacant booth near the jukebox, looking around as if your conversation was under threat of being eavesdropped on. “Pipe it down! We don’t want to get kicked out of the party for talking smack about Joshua’s family.”

“We’re not talking smack, we’re just confused.” Jihoon rolls his eyes. “Is it so bad to wonder about the newcomer when the entire disco has been eyeing him up and down? Look, even Soonyoung stopped mid-dance just to talk to him.”

True to Jihoon’s observation, another one of your friends, Kwon Soonyoung deigned to step off the dancefloor to exchange a few words with this Jeonghan person. Their interaction lasts for merely a few seconds with Soonyoung obviously taking a liking to the newcomer—a hearty laugh piercing through the song playing on the jukebox as he nods before heading back to whence he came.

Jeonghan was grinning the entire time too—a lazy, laid-back yet attractive smile—and fuck… 

You might have a nasty case of love at first sight. 

“So are you going to explain why Joshua suddenly has a brother or are we going to be in suspense the entire night?” Mingyu whines in his seat. 

Seungkwan huffs. “Alright, alright! Apparently, Joshua’s stepdad has another son who used to live several cities away. No one knows why he moved into this old dump, but hey, more eye candy for everyone, I guess.”

“Is he single?” you blurt out.

Mingyu’s expression twists with smugness. “Why are you curious? You’re not trying to go after him, are you?”

“And if I am?” Brows raised, you fold your arms together as you stare the six-foot puppy down. “It’s like Seungkwan said—he’s eye candy! It won’t do anyone any harm to try and get to know him better, right?” 

“Are you sure that’s a wise decision to make when you’re going to be traveling a lot for work?” Jihoon ponders seriously. “What happened to being ready to leave everything behind and starting anew?”

“Hey, it still counts as starting anew when I’m trying to get with the new guy in town.”

That’s when it starts. 

Jeonghan is easy to talk to. That night, you learned that he moved into town because the big city was much too stifling for him to bear; that he gets along swimmingly with his stepbrother despite their parents’ sudden remarriage; that he isn’t really interested when you boldly asked if he wanted to go out sometime.

It’s no big deal. Not like you went into that conversation with high expectations. The fact that he even entertained you was already a miracle on its own. You can take your losses with your head held high—because it’s no big deal.

But then you saw him leaving the disco with some woman you don’t recognize. You’re not sure who she is and what her relation is to Jeonghan, but the smiles they exchanged as the man of the hour escorted her outside would be forever engraved in the back of your head. 

The rest of the evening was a blur. You thought you’d be able to wipe the image of Jeonghan going home with someone else off your mind with enough booze, but even when you wake up with a hangover the next morning, the ghost of his pretty smile still haunts you. 

You carry it with you even after graduation—all teary eyes and tight hugs exchanged with the friends you spent your entire life with. While Soonyoung is in the middle of telling you to memorize everyone’s house telephone numbers so you can keep in touch while you’re away, you spot Jeonghan in the crowd of visitors filling the university quad.. 

He’s with Joshua and their parents, happily congratulating the youngest for his most recent milestone. You're sure you were at least subtle enough with how you observe him from the corner of your eye, but he catches you staring anyway. 

Instead of breaking eye contact immediately, however, Jeonghan holds your gaze and cracks another one of those lazy grins before waving. You have to look around to see if he was gesturing towards anyone else, but to your surprise, it seems that you’re the intended recipient.

Naturally, you don’t let it get to your head. You’re leaving town in three days and maybe it isn’t such a good idea to keep hankering for someone who made it clear that he isn’t into you. 

But then Jihoon thought it would be a great idea to drop by this newly opened record store in Main Street. So I can give you a little souvenir when you’re thousands of miles away, he said and you were so touched with the sentiment, you actually went along with it.

The excitement you’d racked up at the idea of receiving a gift from your best friend, however, was easily eclipsed by the person that greets the two of you once you enter the front door of the shop. 

“Good morning,” greets a chipper-looking Jeonghan wearing denim overalls with the name of the shop embroidered on the front pocket. “How can I help you two?”

Jihoon quickly recovers from the initial surprise and utters, “Oh, um, I wanted to buy a few cassette tapes for my friend. Can you direct us to the right aisle?”

Jeonghan nods before leaning across the wooden counter to direct you two to a row of shelves on the far right. “Just go down that one and you should be able to find what you’re looking for. They’re all arranged by the artist’s names.”

“Cool. Got it.”

Before you can even get a word in, your best friend proceeds to drag you off to the stack of cassette tapes—ducking behind the shelves to make sure Jeonghan doesn’t see what goes on.

“What’s he doing here?” he hisses quietly.

“Do I look like I have a clue? You’re the one who planned this,” you point out with your arms folded. “Just when I thought you were against me making a move on Jeonghan, you proceed to bring me to the place where he works anyway.”

“I still am! I just didn’t know he’d be here too…”

“Well, don’t get your panties in a twist and just let me pick out my gift so we can leave. How’s that?”

Though he’s visibly disgruntled with the knowledge you’ve both been presented with, Jihoon grunts in agreement before you flutter off to the neatly organized shelf. It reminds you of the one back in your best friend’s room. He’s been big on collecting vinyls and cassette tapes for as long as you can remember, so it’s natural for Jihoon to be drawn to this newly opened record shop. 

When you end up taking far too long to make up your mind about what you want, Jihoon eventually migrates to the other spots in the store—checking out the other merchandise being put up for sale with a quiet look of amazement shining in his eyes. The sight of him in his natural habitat has you chuckling to yourself before your gaze rivets back to the collection of tapes you’re supposed to choose from. 

Of course, you’re startled by Jeonghan appearing seemingly out of nowhere right next to you.

“You’re taking your sweet time,” he chuckles, offering up another smile that makes your heart do somersaults. “Say, aren’t you the one who asked me out at Shua’s graduation party?”

You stare him down like he just personally affronted your entire family before clearing your throat—making a show of grabbing a random tape from the rack to examine its contents. Anything to get you to look at anything but Jeonghan’s stupidly beautiful face.

“Uh, yeah. That’s me,” you laugh uneasily. “And I’m only taking my sweet time because I don’t want to repetitively play an album I don’t even like on my Walkman.”

“Fair. How about I offer up a few suggestions then?”

That makes you arch an eyebrow. “Sure. What do you have for me?”

He hums for a moment before reaching for one of the higher levels—easily accomplished by his height. The gesture has you backing up against the wooden shelf to give him some more space, but the close proximity has your face flaring with warmth. 

“Here,” Jeonghan offers before handing you a cassette tape that looks pretty brand new. “The Beatles is cliché for a reason and I personally think Let It Be was the best way to end their time together. But you might also be interested in Fleetwood Mac’s Rumors. It’s a personal favorite of mine.”

He then proceeds to reach for another tape from the store’s vibrant collection and gives it to you—the lazy smile on his face never faltering. 

“Hmm, which one should I get though?” you wonder while comparing the two. “My best friend over there rarely gets me gifts and I’m not about to abuse the privilege by getting two.”

Jeonghan shrugs. “The other one’s on the house then.” 

The nonchalance in his tone makes your face twist with disbelief. “What?”

“I said it’s on the house. You can have your friend pay for one while you get the other for free,” he explains. “Think of it as a limited time promo of sorts.”

You grimace. “Um, I don’t think I saw any signs outside that said you’re offering a Buy 1 Take 1… Won’t the owner of this place be furious with you or something?”

“Now how can I ever be furious with myself, sweetheart?” 

You’re not sure what baffles you more—the fact that Jeonghan turns out to be his own boss or the fact that he just addressed you with some nickname that has you blushing like a schoolgirl. 

“Y/N, are you done—oh.” 

Saved by the bell—or rather, your best friend—Jihoon walks back into the scene with surprise coloring his features. He’s got a couple of vinyls and a box of guitar picks hefted in his arms as he stares at you and Jeonghan all alone in the aisle.

“Ji, I finally got to pick some out,” you beam while holding the two tapes Jeonghan recommended. “The owner said it’s a Buy 1 Take 1 so…”

He mutters the words the owner under his breath before his gaze zeroes in on Jeonghan who simply waves at him with a cheery air.

“Oh, I-I see,” Jihoon clears his throat. “Thank you for being so generous. You really didn’t have to. She doesn’t even care that much about music in the first—”

“Anyway,” you interject loudly before directing yourself to the counter. “Let’s go check these out. We’re meeting Mingyu and the rest of the guys for lunch, aren’t we?”

You pack up your business with Jeonghan fairly quickly. He places your most recent purchases in individual plastic bags, handing them to you with an ever-present smile. Even when you’re already seated at the diner you chose to hold your farewell lunch in, your mind still toys with the memory of Jeonghan calling you sweetheart.

Though if you’re being honest with yourself, you don’t think of Jeonghan much when you eventually move out of your hometown to pursue your work. You make new friends and colleagues, kindle a few romances here and there, and still keep in touch with a select few you’ve left behind.

Of course, Jeonghan does cross your mind whenever you deign to listen to the cassette tapes he personally picked out for you, but starting over completely in a new city every few months certainly gives you a fresher outlook in life.

Yet whenever you come home for the summer, it takes little for you to start regressing into old habits you thought you’d already outgrown. 

TWO SUMMERS AGO

“When did you arrive in town?”

You nearly spill your drink all over that same violet jacket he was wearing the night you first met him—heart rate spiking at the sight of such a gorgeous face. Jeonghan leans across the counter where you and Seungkwan deigned to catch a breather after dancing your hearts out to Earth, Wind, and Fire. Thankfully, you’re able to mask the surprise upon seeing him again with a warm smile.

“Just this afternoon actually,” you chuckle before taking another sip. “I didn’t think you’d still be here. Big city boy like you should’ve gotten tired of this place in the first month.”

“I could say the same for you,” Jeonghan rebuts with an easygoing grin. “You’re a big city girl now too, aren’t you? But you’re back home anyways.”

“Well, Y/N actually has friends to come back to or else we’ll hop on the earliest flight to wherever the hell she is to come get her ourselves,” Seungkwan interjects beside you with a huff. “What’re you even doing here? Don’t you have a date waiting for you or something?”

Despite convincing yourself that you were over that fleeting crush on Jeonghan, you still feel your shoulders sag at the thought that he was here tonight with someone else. Thankfully, neither Seungkwan or Jeonghan notice the shift in your countenance.

“I do, actually. I was just going to pick up a couple drinks I ordered earlier. Can’t a man treat her to a Tequila Sunrise?” Jeonghan pouts and just in time the bartender stationed behind the counter places two glasses of a vibrant-looking drink in front of him. “Well, it’s nice to see you again, Y/N. I hope the tapes I sold you kept you good company while you were gone.”

Oh. He still remembers that.

“They did,” you affirm all while trying to keep yourself from smiling too much. “I can always rely on the taste of someone who literally owns an entire record store.”

“Well, if you need some new tunes to groove to, you know where to find me,” Jeonghan says with an attractive wink, butterflies beating their wings inside your stomach. 

It’s only when Jeonghan walks back to the booth he’s sharing with his supposed date—a pretty blonde with shiny dangling earrings that glimmer in the disco lights—that you realize that maybe you haven’t really gotten over him like you initially thought.

Unfortunately for you, Seungkwan gets the same idea.

“Jihoon’s not gonna be happy about this,” he drawls before taking another sip of his drink. 

“Well, he’s not my mother.”

“Your mother won’t be happy about you getting the hots for someone who sleeps with different women every weekend, but okay.”

You brush off his comments with a shake of your head, downing the rest of your drink as you tug him out of his stool. “Whatever. Come on, let’s go find Soonyoung and the others.”

Apart from your usual circle with Jihoon, Seungkwan, Mingyu, and Soonyoung, they’ve made a couple more friends in the local university they decided to attend together. They introduce you to Seokmin, a theater major with the brightest smile you’ve ever seen—and for some reason, they’ve all managed to befriend Joshua Hong himself as well.

The new additions to your growing group of friends fit right in. Even Joshua, who you’ve always thought of as some snotty trust fund baby, proved to be quite enjoyable company. To your delight, your first night back after almost an entire year of being away turns out much more worthwhile than you initially thought.

For the rest of the night, you try your best to keep your mind off of Jeonghan and focus on mingling with your friends again. God knows how badly you’ve missed them—the occasional phone call can’t ever hold a candle to hanging out with these lunatics in the flesh. 

But despite having loads of fun just watching Soonyoung engage someone apparently named Minghao in a dance-off, you can’t help but feel like someone’s watching you. 

It doesn’t take long for you to find Jeonghan’s eyes in the crowd. 

His date is resting her head on his shoulder—obviously buzzed from the drinks she’s consumed for the night. You’re not sure if it was pure coincidence that your gazes locked in such a packed crowd, but before you can even think about waving at him, Mingyu yanks you to the dancefloor to duke it out with the rest of your friends.

The heat of Jeonghan’s gaze sears into your being like a soldering iron kissing your skin. Every time you try to look for him wherever the boys would unwittingly drag you to have some fun, you’d find his intense stare still affixed on your form. If it was anyone else, you would’ve been unnerved by the scrutiny he’s giving you especially when his date is literally half-asleep next to him in their booth.

But maybe part of you will always want Jeonghan—even if you’ve convinced yourself otherwise.

When the night comes to an end, Mingyu and Seokmin do the honors of carrying a ditzy-drunk Soonyoung inside Joshua’s SUV. It proves to be a fool’s errand at most because of course Soonyoung would make it a point to be difficult while all his well-meaning friends just want to tuck him back to bed—breaking into a quick dance every five steps forward.

“Hey, I’ll just go use the washroom first,” you whisper in Jihoon’s ear. “I won’t be long.”

Your best friend nods. “Yeah, we need someone to look after these idiots. Seungkwan would just provoke Soonyoung into doing something even more stupid.”

“Hey! I heard that!” Seungkwan complains.

You break away from them momentarily with a giggle before hoisting the strap of your purse over your shoulder and making your way to the washroom. 

There are a couple of other disheveled disco-goers trying to make themselves look a bit more presentable. You decide to take a vacant spot by the mirror to touch up your makeup, dusting bits of glitter with unknown origin away from your face. Once you’re all set, the others have long left the washroom—prompting you to make your way out of the building before the owner closes its doors.

However, once you make it back to the main area, you spot Jeonghan on one of the barstools—speaking to a man with dyed blue hair, while his date is nowhere to be found.

“Y/N?” Jeonghan calls out despite your best effort to brisk walk to the door. “You’re still here? Your friends didn’t ditch you or anything, right?”

You shake your head. “Oh, no. They’re waiting for me outside. They were struggling to get Soonyoung inside your brother’s car so I thought I’d go freshen up first.”

“Shua’s car? I didn’t know you two were friends,” he comments with brows raised. “I asked him about you back then but he said he and you haven’t spoken two words to each other.”

Wait a minute. He asked Joshua about you?

“That’s because you’re always too friendly, Han,” the other man whose name you don’t know interjects with a roll of his eyes. “You probably know all your customers and mine by name at this point.”

“You’re being funny again, Cheol,” Jeonghan snickers before turning to you once again. “Y/N, this is Seungcheol. He’s the new manager of this particular branch of our father’s discotheques. He’s also a very good friend of mine.”

You glance at Seungcheol with a nod. “Hi.”

“Hmm, your friends are a bunch of regulars here, but I don’t think I’ve seen you around,” he observes. 

“That’s because this little bird has been away for work for the past year,” Jeonghan supplies while twirling a glass of what looks like bourbon in his hand.

Seungcheol raises an eyebrow at him. “You sure know a lot about Y/N.” 

“Well, she was one of my first customers and her best friend is one of my most loyal regulars,” he laughs before taking a sip, grinning so handsomely, you can almost feel your knees give out at the sight of him. “Tell Jihoon I said hi once you meet up with them again, yeah?”

“O-Okay,” you stammer, clutching your purse much too tightly for someone who’s just having a casual conversation with a bunch of guys who aren't your friends. 

“I’ll leave you for a while. I’m going to go check on your sister and make sure she hasn’t thrown up all over my desk,” Seungcheol excuses himself with a pat on Jeonghan’s shoulder. 

“Your sister?” you repeat with an incredulous ring to your voice.  

“Mhmm. My biological sister,” Jeonghan hums in affirmation as Seungcheol steps out. “Not so different from you, she’s been traveling in and out of the country for work and decided to pay me a visit while she’s here. Though I didn’t expect her alcohol tolerance to be…like that, which is why I had her rest in Cheol’s office for the meantime.”

Your mind processes his words at lightning speed—quickly pulling out the memory of Jeonghan with his supposed date with her head on his shoulder.

“So your date was your sister?” you clarify. 

“Why are you making it sound like it’s a bad thing? Can’t I take my sister out on a few dates?” He shakes his head.

“I never said anything like that!” 

Jeonghan places a hand on his chest in feigned offense, shaking his head with a dramatic sigh. “It’s alright, I’m quite used to being falsely judged.”

“You are so dramatic,” you snort.

“So I’ve been told,” he laughs airily before putting down his glass, getting up from the stool he decided to occupy. “By the way, there’s a little something that’s been bothering me since you came over here.”

As your present company draws closer to you with each word, your heart swells with equal parts anticipation and dreadful curiosity. 

Something’s been bothering him? Did you perhaps do something wrong? That’s a little impossible because you could’ve sworn you’ve done your best to ignore him the entire—

“You’ve got some glitter right…” Jeonghan murmurs as he cups the side of your face with a warm hand, thumb brushing against the corner of your mouth. 

“Here.”

It’s as if time came to a standstill when he does it—holding both your gaze and your breath captive in the lush brown of his eyes. You always wondered what it would feel like to have Jeonghan’s skin on yours and of all the ways it could’ve happened, this isn’t exactly part of your list of delusions.

He’s so close and so pretty and he smells so good—

“Are you sure you don’t want to go out sometime?” 

You don’t even realize that your thoughts have translated it into words until Jeonghan’s expression morphs from relaxed to mildly surprised. He pulls away only a little before his lips twitch into a smile that borders on taunting.

“Oh? You’re still on a mission, huh?” Jeonghan simpers. “You’re a persistent little thing, aren’t you?” 

Maybe it’s just the alcohol you’ve consumed making you just a bit braver than you usually are, but your mouth just won’t stop running.

“Well, I wouldn’t be this persistent if you didn’t give any signs that you might’ve lied to me the first time I asked.” 

“Hm? And what makes you think I was lying?”

Your shoulders heave with a soft laugh, folding your arms together as you hold his gaze with confidence oozing out of your posture. “Yoon Jeonghan, if you really aren’t interested, then why were you watching me the entire night? I’m not blind you know. You weren’t being subtle either.”

“What if I was just extremely happy to see one of my first ever customers back in town?” he chuckles, the tone of his voice aggravatingly leveled for someone you’re supposedly cornering. “And sorry to say, sweetheart, but I don’t really go out with any of Shua’s friends.”

His reasoning makes you heave an incredulous laugh as you recall the way he stared at you earlier tonight like you have a target on your back. You want to make it a point that you’ve only considered his stepbrother as a friend on this same night, but decide on going at this with a different approach.

“Okay,” you respond coolly, challenging the nonchalant smile on his face with one of your own. “If you don’t go out with any of Joshua’s friends, would you sleep with one?”

You don’t know how, but you’ve managed to make the distance between you even smaller. Jeonghan doesn’t budge even as you stare at him with fire in your eyes—even when your skin prickles with electricity from the sparks of something inevitably flying between the two of you. 

Once upon a time, you resigned yourself to the fact that Jeonghan would be nothing more than a fleeting, unrequited crush. But who knew that all it would take is a single night after months of not seeing him to make you realize that maybe things aren’t really what they seem?

“My, I’ve never had anyone come onto me this strongly before,” he muses with a soft laugh. “But your friends must be looking for you. No one takes that long to retouch in the ladies’ room, no? You best be on your way, Y/N.”

“You’re avoiding the question,” you deadpan with an amused smirk. “If I told you I’d leave you alone and never bother you with this again if you really, truly aren’t interested, will you answer me then?”

A voice that sounds like a strange mix of Jihoon and Seungkwan wails in the back of your semi-inebriated mind. What the fuck are you doing?!

You want to respond back that you completely know what you’re doing, but you’re well aware that the half the words you’ve uttered during the entire course of the conversation would never even get past your lips had you been in a better state of mind.

But for all of Jeonghan’s inclination of playing hard-to-get, he leans closer to your ear—the hand he places on your bare shoulder nearly searing his mark onto your skin. 

“Maybe next time, sweetheart.”

This game you’re playing with Jeonghan eventually becomes commonplace.

You spend a chunk of it deliberately getting under his skin. While you certainly made all those bold declarations under the influence, you quickly realized that the day after Jeonghan gave you his cryptic answer, you’re completely serious about this so-called mission.

So you brought out all sorts of ammunition that would make your mother weep with how you’re practically flaying yourself open for a man. You’d purposely wear tight-fitting clothes that emphasized the dips and curves of your body, show up to every night out where you were certain Jeonghan would be present, and of course, hang out at his record store more times than an average person would willingly spend in her boring old hometown.

Jeonghan—ever the infuriatingly level-headed person he is—takes all of it in stride. Where your friends have raised eyebrows with how you’re openly pursuing the most un-pursueable man you all know, he doesn’t treat you any differently from the way he usually does. 

He still entertains you whenever you sneak up on him at the disco, still accommodates your unnecessary purchases in his store…

Still flat-out rejects your advances even if he’s borderline flirting back.

It’s a constant push and pull that Jihoon might be sick of hearing whenever you deign to come over to tell him about the progress of your pursuit—or lack thereof. But since he’s taken up the mantle of your best friend, this is the fate that he has to live with. 

“You do know that you’re dancing with a wolf over there, right?” he points out one night while he’s busy writing a song and you’re flipping through a magazine on his bed. “The other guys have told me enough stories about how he’s always got a different date every time they’re at the disco. He’s a raging Casanova, Y/N. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“How can I get hurt when I’m just after a good time?” you chuckle as your ears ring every time he strums his guitar. “If he’s such a Casanova, then why hasn’t he tried to make a move when I’m openly expressing how into him I really am? Have been for, like, two years now!”

“If I knew the thought process behind how he responds to you, I wouldn’t be stressing as much as I have for the past two years,” he grumbles.

“You worry too much about me, Ji. I’ve already fooled around with some guys here and there. What’s another one from my hometown?”

Jihoon turns to glance at you with a tired look on his face. “But Jeonghan isn’t just some guy. He’s Jeonghan.” 

You want to refute that statement by saying that you have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about. But for someone who mostly keeps to himself, Jihoon has an extremely good perception on things. He probably already knows things about Jeonghan even if you don’t say them outright.

The owner of the record store in Main Street is undoubtedly alluring. He’s the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen—beautiful enough to have you hope time and time again that you can call him yours. What’s more is that the chemistry between you was established the moment he teased the possibility of you getting what you’ve wanted since you met. 

Maybe next time, sweetheart.

No matter how risky it is to toe this jagged cliff of your mutual interest, you’ve always been a glutton for danger.

ONE SUMMER AGO

Your game plan after settling your bags into your house is simple: drop by Jeonghan’s store to let you know that the biggest thorn on his side is back in town and check if he magically wants to fuck you this time around. It’s a routine that your friends have long grown tired of—seeing no point in interfering when you’re so dead-set to get with Jeonghan however you can.

It’s pretty pathetic, but you’re anything but a quitter.

Although contrary to popular belief, screwing Yoon Jeonghan isn’t always the only thing running through your head whenever you’re home. Take right now for example.

You’d just finished unpacking your things into your room when you realized that you’d forgotten to place one of the cassette tapes that Jihoon personally made for you inside its usual protective container—discovering that the outer casing was cracked through the middle while the plastic film lolled out of the rupture, dangerously close to being torn in the state you found it in.

If it were any other cassette tape—even the ones Jeonghan personally picked out for you before you left—you wouldn’t have been fazed. These things are replaceable, especially when Jeonghan would have a dozen other copies waiting for you in his store.

Except this tape in particular can’t be replaced because Jihoon spent a fortune getting it personally manufactured for you. He recorded a few of the songs he personally wrote into the film and had it mailed to you as a surprise—a thoughtful attempt at easing your homesickness for the holidays. 

There wasn’t a day when you didn’t listen to your best friend sing with the help of your Walkman. Your old cassette tapes from Jeonghan definitely took a backseat once you received Jihoon’s present in the mail with a letter he personally wrote attached to the package. 

And now it’s broken because you were an idiot who didn’t pack it somewhere more secure—

“Sweetheart, I’m closing early tonight. If you’re going to ask if I want to sleep with you, you should try…”

Jeonghan’s playful tone falters when he sees that you’re sniffling in the oversized parka you hurriedly pulled from the coatrack before heading over to the only person who can possibly salvage Jihoon’s precious gift. You don’t say anything as you place the broken cassette tape on top of the wooden counter—eyes downcast as Jeonghan peruses what you’ve presented for him to inspect.

“T-That’s really important to me,” you murmur, wiping the tears off your face as your eyes rivet themselves on the smiley that Jihoon doodled right next to the message he wrote for you on the outer cover. “Can you fix it? I’ll pay you up front.”

As the store owner you’ve been crazy about for the better part of three years examines the crime scene before him, he lets out a soft laugh that has you glancing at him inquisitively.

“So Jihoon made you your very own tape, huh? How sweet of him.” He smiles comfortingly—devoid of the usual mirth and amusement he typically showcases in your presence. “Don’t worry too much, yeah? The outer shell is damaged, but the tape reel itself is still intact. I’ll just replace the casing and you’ll still be able to listen to this just fine.”

Your eyes widen ever-so slightly. “Really?”

Jeonghan’s smile spreads even wider as he leans across the counter. He’s tall enough that he can reach you without much difficulty, his knuckles softly brushing against your cheek in a quaint attempt at drying your tears. 

The sight of him so close to you is equal parts foreign and familiar. His gesture reminds you of the time he brushed some glitter off your face last summer, but the provocative look in his eyes back then is nowhere to be found. All Jeonghan offers you right now is solace over something that you probably overreacted about. 

“I’ll go check if I have some spare cassette cases in the back before I try to fix this, okay? You can have a look around the shop in the meantime.”

Jeonghan punctuates the words with two soft pats on your cheek, his soft smile never faltering as he directs himself to the door behind the counter—Jihoon’s broken present carefully cupped in his hands.

As promised, your knight-in-denim-overalls manages to fix one of the most precious gifts you’ve received in your lifetime. You nearly jump to embrace him when Jeonghan reemerges from the back with the cassette tape more or less good as new, but he quickly side-steps your attempt out of the fear that you’ll end up breaking the damn thing all over again.

“How much do I owe you?” You’re practically humming with glee as you bring out your wallet from the pocket of your jeans. “Thank fucking god, Jeonghan. I was so close to losing my mind over it.”

“I’m the one who revived this patient and you’re thanking god? Way to discredit an artist for his craft.” The store owner pouts. “I’ll let this slide and tell you that you don’t have to pay for a thing.”

“I insist.”

“You can pay for it in other ways, you know.”

Once the words are out of his mouth, silence settles over the two of you in near-deafening fashion. The bustling of cars and other vehicles from outside is the only sound you could hear as you mull over what his words could possibly imply.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” You gape, eyeing him incredulously. 

As Jeonghan hands you back your perfectly repaired cassette tape, the corners of his mouth twitch with a conniving smile. “What do you think I’m saying, sweetheart?”

That you can pay for his services with sex? Isn’t that the usual implication when it comes to things like this? But that doesn’t seem right. 

Even if you should be elated from being so much closer to your goal, it feels like you’re cheating. You’ve been subjected to this seemingly endless chase for so long that in the ideal event that Jeonghan would finally cave and let you sleep with him, this definitely isn’t the way he’d concede. You know him well enough to say that for sure.

So instead of pouncing at your prize like some slobbering mutt, you choose your words carefully—making sure to not step into that conversational bear trap he so obviously set up.

“No idea. You tell me.”

Jeonghan simpers before dusting off his overalls, carding his fingers through his dark hair. He’s wearing it a little longer this summer and you’re really digging the look more than you probably should.

“How about we stop by the roller rink later? My treat. You can pay me back with your company.” 

A large scowl immediately roots itself on your face. “Aren’t you already doing too much?” For someone who’s been pestering you like a fly every summertime, you’d like to add but obviously didn’t. “Seriously, let me just pay you for the repair and we’ll be even.”

Adamantly, he shakes his head. “I don’t have any rates for tape repairs, so consider it as a favor. I also mentioned that I was closing up early tonight, remember?”

“Uh, what does that have to do with—”

“Seungcheol begged me to come to the roller rink to teach him how to skate because apparently this lady he’s been eyeing is a figure skater. Poor guy doesn’t want to embarrass himself in front of her on their first date this weekend,” Jeonghan explains swiftly before chuckling to himself. “He’s kind of unteachable so I thought I’d bring some backup.”

Your face twists with even more confusion. “And what made you think I’m any good at roller skating?”

Jeonghan shrugs. “Gut feeling.”

And that’s how you wound up in the town roller rink at eight in the evening when you promised Luna you’d be home to watch The Exorcist on your father’s VHS player. 

Jeonghan is awfully difficult to say no to when he’s the one doing all the pestering and even though your roller skating skills are subpar at best, at least you’re not as pitiful as a man named Choi Seungcheol.

“These aren’t even roller blades,” you point out all while stifling a laugh. “What’s the deal, Cheol? Is your center of gravity that shitty?”

“Say that to me when we’re in a taekwondo match, I dare you,” Seungcheol huffs as he grips the metal railing for dear life. “The things I do for a gorgeous girl…”

Jeonghan skates over to his friend with a smirk, tugging on his arm. “Come on, now. You won’t impress your date if you keep ambling by the sides like a spaz.”

In an attempt to become the devil’s advocate, you take Seungcheol’s other arm in your grasp as well. “Yeah. If you weren’t confident about this, why’d you ask her out here? Actually, who on Earth schedules the first date at a roller rink?” 

“I wanted her to know that we have common interests!” 

“And skating is your common interest?”

“...No, but at least she’d get the idea that I care about what she does for a living.”

With the newfound determination to not embarrass himself in front of the gorgeous figure skater, Seungcheol lets you and Jeonghan teach him the art of not falling on your ass every time he glides forward. This goes on for about thirty or-so minutes until he finally gets the hang of it and is out and about in the rink full of teenagers that are looking at him funny.

This is when you decide to wind down and hang out by the railings as well, watching your student test out if he can do a little spin now that he’s sort of mastered the basics. Unfortunately for Seungcheol, he slips and lands on his back after the attempt—immediately scrambling back to his feet before any of the younger skaters could laugh at him for the mishap.

“Hope you don’t mind that I whisked you off for an impromptu tutoring session.”

You don’t even startle when Jeonghan materializes beside you like he almost always does—his eyes also trained on his poor friend while he practices what he’s been taught. A soft sigh escapes your lips as you stare at him with a shake of your head. 

“I’m supposed to be marathoning horror movies with my sister, you know,” you chuckle. “Dunno why you asked me to come with you to teach the unteachable, but I’m glad I could help.”

He lets out a quiet laugh of his own. “I just wanted to give you a warm welcome is all. Haven’t seen you in a year.”

“Even if all I do is ask if you want to have sex with me?” 

“Hey, all friendships are built on different foundations. Ours just happens to be more unorthodox than the rest,” Jeonghan points out, like it’s common knowledge. “Besides, don’t you think it gives the friendship more spice when one of us keeps asking the other if they want to sleep together?”

You punch him in the shoulder. “You’re so weird.”

“And you still want me to fuck you despite that. I think that says a lot more about you than it does about me.” He grins and your throat constricts with how pretty he looks.

Just before you can open your mouth to dish out another snarky response, the song that comes up on the speakers switches into something familiar—the crowd of skaters immediately erupting into cheers.

“Oooh, Dancing Queen,” Jeonghan marvels as he pushes himself off the railing before yanking your hand. “Let’s go, sweetheart. Can’t let Cheol have all the fun now, can we?”

You’re no dancer but you’ve spent so many nights with your friends at the disco that you can’t really refuse when ABBA says that you can dance and you can jive. It’s a little more challenging when you’re literally wearing roller skates and Yoon Jeonghan is spinning you around while his head is thrown back in laughter, but you can manage,

It feels so strange to be doing this with him. You’ve gotten used to just coming up to Jeonghan to hit on him and get rejected before going about the rest of your day, so you don’t really know the protocol when it comes to fooling around with him in a roller rink. 

But instead of psyching yourself out too much, you just let yourself loose in the moment.

It’s…nice. You can feel the music in your veins as you burn the memory of Jeonghan grinning as he twirls you amidst a sea of roller skaters. Something pangs in your chest—a feeling you’ve felt with your other romantic prospects from the past, but never with Jeonghan.

Just when the song is about to end, however, you lose your footing and end up slipping onto the polished wooden floor. It would’ve been less embarrassing if you hadn’t hooked your arm around Jeonghan’s waist to balance yourself, but you both end up toppling into a heap.

“Shit, sorry!” you groan, rubbing your tailbone as you try to collect yourself. Your legs are right on top of Jeonghan’s though, so it proves to be somewhat difficult to get back to your feet without bracing your hands on the ground. 

Which is exactly what you end up doing just to keep yourself from face planting.

Jeonghan isn’t able to school his expression fast enough when you straddle his hips in the middle of the roller rink—eyes lit up with surprise as you stammer apology after apology. You really want to fucking stand up but you’re so shaken up by the chain of events that you can’t find the right balance. 

“So much for your center of gravity, huh?” 

You and Jeonghan both jump at the sound of Seungcheol’s voice—the other man sporting a smirk of his own as he stands over the two of you. Thankfully, instead of simpering at the fact that you got a taste of your own medicine, he offers a hand for you to take—one that you take more gingerly than you meant to. 

The three of you eventually hobble back to the waiting lounge together, making jabs at each other’s slip-ups for the night. Hanging out with these two men is just as fun as hanging out with your old friends and you’re glad to know that you’ve found such worthwhile company despite being away for most of the year.

After returning your skates, Jeonghan tells you and Seungcheol that he’s just going on a quick bathroom break and you agreed to wait for him before heading home. Your student then takes the opportunity to strike up a conversation. 

“Hmph. And you thought this wasn’t an ideal spot for a first date.”

Puzzled, you glance at Seungcheol with a questioning look. “What are you talking about?”

“You and Han,” he continues. “This is your first date, isn’t it? Took him long enough.”

Took him long enough? Seungcheol’s words sound so silly, you actually end up laughing at the foolishness of it all. “What? Jeonghan? Taking me out on a date? You didn’t hit your head while you were practicing, did you?”

“Hey, I might be a newbie, but once I learn, I never forget it,” Seungcheol huffs before crossing his arms. “And, yeah, is it so strange for Han to ask you out? Sure, you’re never really here like half the time—”

“I wouldn’t say half the time. I only ever get short breaks in the summer”

“Hey, summer breaks aren’t short… Okay, maybe they kind of are, but that’s not the point!” 

“Whatever your point is, it’s pointless,” you snort. “He always turns me down whenever I ask if he wants to sleep together. How could he possibly want to take me out on a date?”

Seungcheol makes a face. “You’ve been asking him what?” 

“...If he wants to sleep together?”

“Well, that’s because you’ve been asking the wrong question!”

“I’m not! Look, that wasn’t always my go-to. The first time we met, I asked if he wanted to go out sometime. He said no. And it’s been a…thing between us for me to constantly ask even if I know he’ll just turn me down.”

“...Doesn’t that just make you pathetic?”

“You know, you’re a lot different when you’re outside the disco.”

Seungcheol rolls his eyes. “Anyway, you should really recalibrate the way you’re trying to get with Jeonghan because even if he’s the biggest manwhore I’ve met, when he actually gets serious, he—”

“Now what could you two possibly be talking about?” 

Like he always does, Jeonghan waltzes into the conversation with the most opportune timing. He glances at you and his friend curiously as he slings his arms around both of your shoulders—a conspiratorial grin weaseling its way onto his face. “Sounds to me like it’s something interesting.”

“I was just about to tell Seungcheol that you don’t go out with Joshua’s friends, hence the complete impossibility of this being a first date,” you clarify—face heating up with embarrassment at how ridiculous you sound right now. “I mean, would a proper first date include teaching your hopeless friend how to roller skate?”

Seungcheol snorts. “You obviously don’t know what Han considers as a proper first date.”

“But she’s completely right about that specific preference of mine,” Jeonghan agrees without missing a beat. “Now that this is all cleared up, how about we drive her back to her house? It’s getting late.”

That night, you climb under the covers of your bed reeling from that conversation you had with Seungcheol. You still think it’s downright silly for him to assume that Jeonghan took you out on a date when he clearly just sees you as a friend. 

Yet when you think about it a bit more, isn’t it more ridiculous for you to still be going at this game you’ve been playing with him for the past three years? Asking a man who’s way out of your league to sleep with you like some hooker on the streets? 

The way Jeonghan receives your advances doesn’t help your predicament in the slightest either. Most men would be unnerved by the fact that some woman keeps trying to get in his pants, but Jeonghan practically considers it as a thing that friends do. He simply turns you down without treating you any differently, and you’re starting to second-guess whether he’s just that good of a person or if he’s only keeping you around to amuse himself.

Seungkwan would tell you that you’ve got little to no respect for yourself. Jihoon would just sigh and tell you that he honestly expected better from you, and you wouldn’t fault either of them, really.

Because even when the odds are stacked against you, you’ll always find your way back to Yoon Jeonghan.

THE PRESENT

Much to everyone’s surprise, you’re able to go two straight weeks without seeking out the object of your prolonged affections. 

You make plans with anyone and everyone else there is to make plans with—going on a picnic with your sister, helping Jihoon write a song, hitting the arcade with Seungkwan. Anything to keep yourself away from Jeonghan.

Hell, you even agreed to meet Jeon Jungkook in the flesh when Mingyu finally remembered that he set you up with him a month ago. 

First impressions last and Jungkook definitely blew all your expectations out of the water when he pulled up in front of your house with a shiny Harley Davidson that boasted far more horsepower than your father’s old minivan. He’s the textbook definition of a badboy if his piercings and full sleeve of tattoos are anything to go by.

But for someone who hasn’t even met you before, he was thoughtful enough to bring flowers for your mother, a bottle of wine for your father, and Stephen King’s newest release for Luna when he arrived at your door with a boyish smile.

When Jihoon caught wind of the news, he immediately came over to your house to confirm if it’s actually true—a completely drastic shift from your usual habit of coming over at his.

Apparently, your mother ran into him at the grocery store and fessed up all about this wonderful biker who took Y/N out on a candle-lit dinner at the only decent restaurant in town to your best friend. It’s painfully obvious that Jihoon mirrors her excitement when you tell him that yes, your first date with Jungkook actually went better than expected. 

You thought Jungkook was the type of guy that your best friend would avoid at all costs. Jihoon hates loud noises that don’t contribute to his musical creativity and your newest flame’s motorcycle would definitely be an issue if your best friend ever hears him rev it up. 

And yet when you finally introduce them to each other, they hit it off at lightning speed. Turns out Jungkook was also a music major when he was in college and you find yourself lost in a sea of jargon as the pair engrosses themselves in a conversation regarding their mutual interests. 

Jungkook gets along swimmingly with your other friends too.

You should’ve trusted Mingyu’s judgment when he first told you that his friend can blend into any circle he chucks himself into because now you can only watch in awe as he and Sonyoung duke it out at your usual disco—exchanging high fives when the song on the jukebox comes to an end and the rest of the crowd cheers at them from the sides.

“How’re you liking our little town so far?” you ask when he returns to the booth you’ve claimed for the two of you, giggling when he leans down to press a kiss on your cheek. 

“You seriously downplay this place too much,” Jungkook sighs, unable to suppress the grin on his face. “Sure, there aren’t a lot of things to do, but I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who’s as passionate about dance battles as Soonyoung over there. Joshua, Seokmin and Seungkwan are brilliant company, too. Oh, and how could I forget about Jihoon? I’m seriously pissed because Mingyu didn’t introduce me to them sooner.”

Your bottom lip swells into a pout. “Only them, not me?”

Jungkook lets out a soft laugh that makes your skin tingle, leaning closer enough that you can feel his breath on your face. When he smiles, his lip ring glints in the colorful lights of the disco.

“Baby, if we’ve met any sooner, you’ll probably get sick of me.”

“And why is that, Mr. Jeon?” you whisper. 

He hums for a moment, tracing the outline of your lips with the heat of his gaze. “I’ve been told that I’m a very passionate lover. You might not be able to handle it.”

“And who’s to say you’re the judge of that?”

“Well, we can get out of here so you can see for yourself, no?”

Your face heats up at the notion of what he’s trying to imply. It’s a little silly because you’ve spent so much of your time practically throwing yourself at Jeonghan that when another man expresses interest in you, you suddenly clam up out of embarrassment. 

Jeonghan…

Even if you’re being pinned in place by Jungkook’s weightful stare, your gaze still goes over his shoulder—straight to the bar where you know he’s been watching you. 

The moment your gang of loud friends piled into the disco one after the other, you were quick to pick up on Jeonghan’s presence as he spoke to Seungcheol at the bar and from the way he snapped his head in the direction of your group, you like to think he’s just as privy to yours too.

Especially when his eyes zeroed in on Jungkook’s arm around your waist.

This time around, instead of hounding the guy with the same question you’ve been asking for years, you do your best to ignore his existence altogether. It was easier than you expected because Jungkook has the ability to make you forget about everything else when you’re in his company. He’s charming and sweet in ways that don’t leave you second guessing his intentions. The man wants you and he needs you to know that in whatever way he can manage.

But even if you’ve got a handsome badboy under your spell, Jungkook’s charms don’t work on you with the same intensity as a single gaze from Jeonghan.

He isn’t smiling at you like he usually is—lips nearly twisted into a frown as he watches Jungkook crowd you in your shared booth. While most of your body language would suggest that you’re receiving your beau’s affections openly, the fact that your eyes are trained on the man you’ve been trying your best to get over would tell Jeonghan another story entirely. 

Which is what ultimately makes you let out a breathy laugh before lightly pushing Jungkook off of you.

“Easy there, tiger. We’ve been dating for, what? A month?” you remind him with a somewhat forced smile. “You might be one of the two hottest guys I’ve met in my life, but I still believe in the art of taking your time.”

“The two hottest guys?” Jungkook parrots, amusement coloring his face as he leans back on the leather upholstery of your seat. “Who’s the other one then?”

You force yourself not to look at Jeonghan so you wouldn’t give yourself away. After all, you haven’t lost yet. It’s perfectly normal to still think about the man you may or may not have been in love with for years when you’re in the middle of getting over him. Whatever you and Jungkook have going isn’t a lost cause just yet.

“No one important,” you insist before tugging him back to his feet . “How about you come dance with me instead of asking silly questions, loverboy?”

A hint of skepticism crosses his face for just a moment before he concedes, letting you drag him back to the dancefloor as you try your damnedest to ignore the way Jeonghan’s gaze never strayed far from you for the rest of the night.

Summer is almost coming to an end and your boss has already mailed you some documents containing the details of your next job. You read through them while you’re bundled up in blankets in the living room with Jihoon, who seems more excited about it than you are.

“You’re going to Paris?” your best friend gawks. “That’s actually insane. I thought only the filthy rich could go there in this economy.”

“Well, if you land yourself some work in a pretty well-off company, you can gain more benefits than you’d otherwise expect,” you chuckle. “How about you come with me? You can go busking in front of The Louvre or something. Then the Parisians would discover just how talented one Lee Jihoon actually is.”

“Or I could get arrested by the Parisian police force.” Jihoon rolls his eyes. “Thanks for the offer, but I am not as ambitious as you are.”

“Hmph. Suit yourself then.”

While the two of you are busy planning an itinerary for the entirety of your trip, the telephone rings down the hall and you get up to answer it. 

“Hey, beautiful,” Jungkook’s smooth voice rings in your ears after asking the caller’s identity, making your face warm with how flustered you are. “Heard tonight was best friend’s night so I wasn’t really supposed to bother you, but Gyu wanted to throw me a surprise birthday party and he was wondering if you and Jihoon want to come with.”

“It’s not a surprise anymore if you’re the one inviting guests though?” you point out with a laugh. “And your birthday isn’t until a few days.”

“Yeah, you’re right, but one thing about Mingyu is that he can’t keep a secret for the life of him. What’s more is that we already have dinner plans for my special day, remember?” Jungkook sighs. “Anyway, are you two going to show up or am I gonna be miserable the entire night because you’re not here?”

“Where even is here, Jungkook?” 

“At the disco, where else? Mingyu rented out the entire place for the occasion.”

“Hmm, maybe you should start dating Mingyu instead.”

“God, no. So are you coming or not?”

It’s funny how you don’t even hesitate when you answer, “Sure thing. I’ll go tell Jihoon about it.”

“Aw, baby, you sure know how to make the birthday boy happy. See you soon.”

You hang up on Jungkook after bidding him a farewell of your own, heart beating just a little bit faster at the exchange. You know you’re not obligated to come to his not-so surprise birthday party since you already made plans with Jihoon to marathon a couple of movies, but even if you and Jungkook aren’t really a thing just yet, you still feel like you should at least be there to celebrate alongside your friends.

Jihoon agrees to it without a hitch—god knows how much he adores Jungkook. And as the two of you are getting ready to go out again, an idea pops into your head.

“You can go ahead of me to the disco. I’ll just go buy Jungkook a present first.”

Your best friend glances at you, confused. “I can accompany you, you know. It’s no big deal.” 

But despite his kind offer, you shake your head adamantly. “I really want this to be kept between me and him, Ji. Is that alright?”

“Ugh. Fine, whatever.”

There’s some truth to what you’ve told Jihoon, but everyone knows that only relaying some of the truth is as good as lying. 

You tug your jacket tighter around your shoulders as you stand in front of a familiar record store. You’ve been to and from this place so often in the past that you’ve practically memorized Jeonghan’s operating hours by heart. 

You’re going to prove to yourself that you’re over that phase in your life. Once you buy a vinyl by this one bossa nova artist that Jungkook really likes, you’ll kiss your once-prominent obsession with Jeonghan goodbye.

Not like it’s difficult, right? Jungkook has always been sweet and reassuring where Jeonghan gave you nothing but uncertainty and countless instances asking yourself, what am I even doing? It’s practically a no brainer to choose the former over the latter.

You suck in a deep breath. The thundering of your heart is too loud to ignore, but before you’re overcome with nerves, you step straight inside.

It’s empty like it always is when closing time is just a few minutes away. Jeonghan’s already mopping up the floor of his shop—something that surprised you the first time because you didn’t think people who came from old money actually knew how to do chores. 

You also notice that he’s already changed out of his denim overalls—already donned in an outfit that he would no doubt be wearing to the disco right after he closes up shop. A velvet maroon shirt with a few buttons undone that’s tucked inside a pair of black trousers. Before you can catch yourself salivating over how fucking good he looks in that outfit, his gaze flickers to you in an instant.

“Hm? Been a while since you’ve dropped by, sweetheart,” he comments before stuffing the mop back in a supply closet and sanitizing his hands. “You’ve been busy with that boyfriend of yours, haven’t you?”

So he has noticed. “You could say that.”

He nods before stepping over to you, that stupidly disarming grin ever-present on his pretty face. “Hm? Is that trouble in paradise I sense? Don’t tell me he hasn’t bothered to put a label on things. What a waste.”

You planned on making this gruesome exchange with Jeonghan swift, but you completely forgot that he has a knack for getting under people’s nerves when he feels like it. “Why would it be a waste when we’re just taking our time? Besides, I’m not here to talk to you about me and Jungkook. I’m here to buy something.”

“For your little badboy? Now what could he possibly know about the finer things in life? That man looks like he wouldn’t even be able to play a triangle.”

Just when you managed to spot a record that you’re certain Jungkook has mentioned to you in passing, Jeonghan’s uncalled for words have you scowling at him. “Really? I know your family’s loaded and all, but you never really struck me as the pretentious type, Jeonghan. Mind you, Jungkook is a music major, and that’s low, even for you. 

He simpers with folded arms, one foot tapping impatiently on the linoleum. “Well, forgive me, sweetheart, I don’t think I can react with my usual finesse when someone else is encroaching on what belongs to me.”

You don’t even think it’s possible, but your scowl only deepens. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You’ve always been mine, no?” 

…How he has the guts to tell you that after every single instance he’s rejected you is unfathomable. You do not want to have this conversation right now, so you quickly pluck Jungkook’s present from the assortment of vinyls before storming off to the cashier—mentally cursing Jeonghan for being so self-sufficient that he doesn’t see the need to hire other people but himself. Now you’ll be forced to deal with him until you’re finished with your purchase.

“How can you stomach buying your little badboy a birthday gift when we both know your heart is still tethered to me, sweetheart?” Jeonghan taunts you from behind as he shuffles towards the counter. “I thought this was just some ploy to get me jealous, but you’re acting a bit too realistically for comfort. Have you forgotten who you were trying to get with for the past few years? 

“Have you forgotten who you’ve rejected time and time again?” you deadpan with a glare. “You made it clear whenever I asked that you weren’t interested. You know, Jihoon and the others kept calling you a player, so I never really understood why you never tried to get with me—someone who’s literally throwing herself at your feet every summer.”

Jeonghan lets out an incredulous laugh. “Why do you think I turned you down each time? You’re always asking if I want to have sex with you, but have you ever considered that maybe I don’t just think of you as another notch on my belt? That I actually wanted to get to know you past the sexual pretense?”

His words are quick to turn your heart into stone. “Then why didn’t you say that to me back then? Why are you only coming clean about this when I’m finally ready to move on with someone else?”

“That’s because I like you, Y/N,” he sighs, jaw clenching as if he has the right to be more frustrated than you are. “I didn’t want to just sleep with you. I wanted us to be friends first before I pursued you, but then you went on about asking if I wanted to fuck each and every time you’re home. I was just being careful because I don’t want to give anyone the power to trample on my feelings.”

“So you thought it was okay to trample on mine?”

The exasperation on Jeonghan’s face seemingly melts away with that simple response. You’re still staring at him with fire in your eyes—the kind he’s used to admiring from afar whenever you’re feeling your emotions a little more intensely than usual. But for once in his life, Jeonghan is unable to formulate some clever retort.

“Just fucking scan my vinyl so I can leave,” you grumble before sliding the record across the counter. “If you don’t have anything worthwhile to say to me, just don’t say anything at all.”

“Do you really mean it?”

Your whole body freezes up when you feel Jeonghan standing directly behind you, caging you between his tall frame and the counter. Both of his lean arms are braced against the wooden surface and you make a mistake of whirling around to face him. 

“M-Mean what?” you stammer, suddenly losing whatever conviction your voice once held because of his goddamn eyes. They look so pretty even if they’re pleading for something you can’t put your finger on.

“That you’ve already moved on with him?” he murmurs. “If it’s true then…you can forget that this conversation ever happened. Go celebrate his birthday and make him your boyfriend or whatever.” 

When Jeonghan leans closer, his lips brush the shell of your ear—making you shiver with anticipation. “But if you think you’d still choose me after all, then I promise you that I won’t waste your time anymore. I’m ready to own up to what I feel about you even if I deserve none of your reciprocation at this point.”

He’s right. He doesn’t deserve even an ounce of what you would’ve been willing to give before you saw reason. Jihoon was smart to come to the conclusion that Jeonghan only kept you around to entertain himself, but once losing you became a possibility, he suddenly put on this show of buttering you up.

Admitting things he should’ve told you years ago. Telling you he likes you only when you’ve already got your eyes set on someone else. 

The logical thing to do is turn him down and walk away from Yoon Jeonghan once and for all. You could do it—you could leave the convoluted history the two of you shared in the past. You’ve already been doing it with Jungkook for the past month. But no matter how much you convince yourself otherwise, there’s a singular truth that you won’t be able to escape: 

You’ll always find your way back to Yoon Jeonghan.

The next few minutes are a blur of desperate touches and equally desperate kisses. You don’t remember when exactly you lunged in for the kill, but the next thing you know, Jeonghan has you propped up on the counter of his store as he pushes your jacket off your shoulders and hikes your skirt further up your thighs.

“Wanted you for so long,” Jeonghan sighs against your lips and you feel like he’s exercising active restraint so he wouldn’t rip the delicate fabric of your skirt. “But I needed you to take me seriously so you wouldn’t think you’re just another girl I slept with.”

You bark out a condescending laugh before reclaiming his lips, shoving your tongue down his throat until he’s groaning into you—fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs. 

“You obviously didn’t take me seriously with how much you fucked with my head.”

“I wasn’t fucking with your head, sweetheart. I was just biding my time.”

“So the thing that finally got you to crack is seeing another guy get his hands on me,” you point out with a quiet chuckle, trying not to moan when his lips trace a scorching path down the skin of your neck. “I didn’t take you to be the jealous type. If I knew, I would’ve paraded Mingyu inside your shop ages ago.”

“Hm?” He hums—a noncommittal noise that has you shivering beneath his touch anyways. “Are you saying that you would fuck Mingyu too? When you’re already cozying up to his best friend? You’re quite greedy, huh?”

You let out a quiet whimper when you feel him press two fingers against your clothed core—wanting him, needing him. “J-Jeonghan, someone outside might see…”

“Then we better put on a show, right, sweetheart?” 

The fact that Jeonghan calling you sweetheart incites a more visceral reaction out of you compared to Jungkook calling you baby makes a clump of guilt fester in your chest. The vinyl you’re supposed to get for him as a present sits idly a few inches away, but all of it is forgotten once Jeonghan reminds you of what you really want. 

It’s fucking humiliating how your cunt gushes at his words. Jeonghan is clearly pleased with the mess he finds between your thighs after pushing your underwear to the side. You curl yourself into his chest, twitching every time his fingers graze your clit. He laughs, low and dangerous in your ear all while he lathers your slit in your own essence.

“I’d love to take my time and eat you out right here, but I don’t think I have the patience just yet,” he whispers before teasing your entrance with the occasional dip of his fingers. “I’ll make you come with my mouth some other time. For now, I think I just need to see you crying on my fingers and my cock.”

His crooked digits slide into you with perfect ease, stretching out your gummy walls so you’d be able to take something more. You cling onto Jeonghan like a lifeline as he murmurs a string of filthy musings into your ear.

“Has your little badboy finger-fucked you this good, sweet thing?” he rasps. “In fact, has he even kissed you?”

“H-He’s kissed me once,” you admit, the walls of your cunt clenching around his intrusive fingers as you try to recall how you and Jungkook shared your first real kiss in the parking lot of the movie theater. “But I wished it was you instead…”

“Really now?” Jeonghan chuckles, clearly emboldened by your honesty. “You still think of me even when you’re with someone else, hm? Well you’re in luck sweetheart.”

“I do the same thing, too.”

Your eyes flutter with pleasure when he curls his fingers inside your tight channel, his free hand toying with your clit with each pass he makes. Jeonghan praises you for spreading your legs so prettily for him, for being his good girl and no one else’s. Every word he breathes into your ears only makes you wetter by the second and you fear that each time he plunges his digits into your heat, someone outside would hear the squelching flesh.

“J-Jeonghan,” you whimper, thighs quivering with the need for release. “Let me come, please. I wanna come on your fingers. I need it.”

Of course, your newfound lover makes it a point to laugh at your desperate plea, licking his lips as he draws tight circles around your sensitive nub. “Just a few moments ago, you were afraid of being caught getting off like this. Now you want me to make you come?”

You nod vigorously—uncaring for how pathetic it would make you seem. “Yes, I want you so much… You’ll give it to me, won’t you?”

Ah, he’s always known you were a vixen. Those days when you’d purposely dress up wearing the skimpiest outfits just to get his attention were one of the hardest. In fact, the entire ordeal of keeping his hands off you when you were offering yourself up so willingly was one of the hardest things he’s done in his life. 

But Jeonghan supposes that he can still reap the benefits of his patience—even if that patience was snapped in two when you dared to think another man deserved to have you.

“Of course I’ll give it to you, sweetheart,” he murmurs sweetly before planting the sloppiest kiss on your lips. “Come for me if you want my cock in you. You can do that, right?”

You screw your eyes shut at his affirmation to focus on getting yourself to the pinnacle of gratification. Jeonghan has slowed the pace of the fingers thrusting in and out of your messy cunt and decided to zero in on your clit. You’re twitching and thrashing in his grasp, moaning his name so prettily, he wishes he could snap a photo to preserve the memory for life.

You come undone on his fingers with a breathless sigh, nearly collapsing on top of the counter from how boneless you felt in the aftermath. But Jeonghan is quick to coil an arm around your waist, peppering your face with kisses as he keeps himself from grinning too wide.

“So good for me. So perfect—my perfect fucking girl.” 

The lasciviousness dripping from his words urges you to spread your thighs for him—eyes glazed over with lust as he undoes the zipper of his trousers. You have to keep yourself from gasping once he takes out his impressive length—fully engorged with how much you’ve been teasing each other over the past half hour. 

Jeonghan fists his cock before sliding the head across your oversensitive clit, but you don’t voice out any complaints—already desperate to have him again despite having just recovered from your last orgasm. 

He doesn’t wait for a verbal confirmation, doesn’t waste his time on any more preamble. Jeonghan simply hooks your thighs around his elbows and sinks his cock into your tight channel with his bottom lip caged between his teeth. You’re a lot less reserved with the noises you make—openly crying out his name once he buries himself to the hilt. 

You feel him everywhere—inside you, on your skin, on your face, in your heart. Jeonghan is heaving deeply as he lets you get used to him and when he flashes you that lazy smile that started everything, your chest seizes with something not shy of glee. 

You have him. You finally have him.

And from the way that smile you’ve always loved morphs into a smirk, you have a feeling he’ll make sure you engrave this moment into your mind.

“We could’ve done this sooner,” Jeonghan sighs with the first drag of his hips, loving the way you writhe underneath him when he plunges his cock back into your slick heat. “If only we just got together like normal people, I could’ve fucked you on every surface of this store years ago.”

“If only you didn’t reject me every single time like some self-absorbed brat.”

“You sound pretty brave for someone who’s already in tears on my cock, sweetheart.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jeonghan murmurs something along the lines of cheeky little thing before surrendering his grip on one of your thighs in exchange for the space to reach for your face. There, he wipes the moisture collecting in the corner of your eye with his thumb, a self-satisfied look settling on his face.

Jeonghan murmurs something along the lines of cheeky little thing before surrendering his grip on one of your thighs in exchange for the space to reach for your face. There, he wipes the moisture collecting in the corner of your eye with his thumb, a self-satisfied look settling on his face.

“Maybe you do now.”

He doesn’t waste anymore time after that—fully aware that though he’s already drawn the shutters before you came, he hasn’t had the opportunity to lock the main entrance yet. The possibility of someone walking in on you getting fucked to an inch of your life on the countertop are all too real and Jeonghan has no plans on getting arrested for public indecency when he just grew the balls to tell you how he’s felt all this time.

“You’re fucking dripping for me,” your lover rasps into your neck, leaving a trail of love bites in his wake as your poor cunt takes a beating. “All dressed up for someone else but here you are stuffed full of my cock. Tell me, who is it that you really want?”

“You.” The mewl that follows your abrupt answer is music to his ears. “I’ve only ever wanted you, Hannie. F-Fuck! Right there, please.”

He drags your hips closer to the edge, resuming a secure grip on your thighs to keep you balanced as he rams his thick cock into you. You throw your head back in bliss, uncaring for how the bruises he’s kissed into your skin sting with pain. The pleasure he’s sowing between your legs eclipses any sort of ache that can deter you from losing yourself in the moment.

You hook your legs around Jeonghan’s waist to keep him close—arms slung around his neck as you pull him down for a kiss. Your lover responds in kind, moving his mouth in perfect sync with yours as if to make up for all the years you could’ve spent in each other’s arms. 

“You’re so pretty like this,” he murmurs against your lips, eyes burning with pure, unadulterated desire. “So pretty and perfect for me.”

“You’re only saying that ‘cause you’re balls deep inside me,” you try to scoff but it melts into another breathless moan when Jeonghan angles his hips just a bit differently and has your eyes rolling to the back of your skull.

“You talk big for someone who can’t handle being a little roughed up,” he teases. “Now hush and take my cock like the good girl you are.”

It doesn’t take long for you to feel that familiar pressure in the pit of your stomach—like a balloon expanding and expanding until you’re filled to the brim with the pleasure he’s giving you on a silver platter. You whimper beneath him, pressing your mouth against the cut of his jaw as you murmur about how close you are.

“Fuck, I need you to feel you come around me, sweetheart,” he moans. “Come on my cock—let me feel your cunt squeezing it out of me.”

You don’t know if you’re just that high strung, or if you’ve waited for this for so long, your body just responds to his whims. But whatever the reason, the most skin-tingling, toe-curling orgasm washes over you like a storm surge—pure lightning skidding up the length of your spine as you surrender yourself to the height of euphoria. 

“That’s it,” Jeonghan goads, fucking you through your orgasm as he chases after his own. “You feel so good around me, my perfect Y/N.”

As you drift in and out of coherence, you vaguely pick up on the fact that Jeonghan isn’t wearing any protection—the two of you overcome by your need to have each other to think things through. But as his cock plunges over and over into your soiled cunt, you find yourself uncaring for the consequences of your recklessness.

But Jeonghan continues to surprise you by using all his strength to disentangle your legs around his waist—pulling out just in time for those spurts of cum to splatter all over your rumpled skirt. He hisses between his teeth as he pumps his cock into completion, his white hot release staining your clothes in a way that you’ll probably still forgive him for with how well he fucked you tonight. 

"Can't get you pregnant when your career's ahead of you," he chuckles and you can only punch him in the chest in response.

The silence that settles moments after is more deafening than it should be, but you’re no means unsettled by it.

Not when Jeonghan still has that look in his eyes.

When he kisses you again, it feels like the stars and the planets have aligned for everything to fall into place. He smiles against your lips as if he’s just as relieved to have found you when you thought all hope was lost and it makes you recall any other time you’ve been more in love with someone else in your life.

In the end, you come up empty handed.

“I’ll clean you up and close up the store,” Jeonghan murmurs. “I need to take you home with me because I am nowhere near done with you.”

And who are you to say no to that?

“Paris, huh?”

Jeonghan muses right after he’s finished cleaning you up—diligently scrubbing at what three more rounds of sex at his apartment have done to your poor body. You answer him with a quiet hum, burrowing deeper into both the warmth of his blankets and the heat of his chest.

“Yeah, I think I’ll be stationed there for a better part of the year,” you tell him softly, tracing the small trail of freckles on his sternum. “It’s going to be way different than what I’m used to, but new experiences are always welcome.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, you don’t have any reason to be afraid of Paris to begin with. The only thing that might get in the way of you having a good time is the language barrier.”

“You talk like you’ve been there before.”

“Been there before? Sweetheart, I lived in Paris before I moved here… Why are you looking at me like that?”

You mutter a string of curses under your breath before pouting at him. “I keep forgetting that you and Joshua are a couple of trust fund babies. Of course I’d be surprised if you dropped a bomb like that.”

Jeonghan chuckles before leaning down to capture your lips in a searing kiss—deepening it until you’re hooking your thigh across his hip and moaning into his mouth again. Your lover chuckles at your eagerness before he pulls away, a string of saliva obscenely connecting your lips. 

“I do kind of miss it there,” he admits sincerely, but you can’t pay the admission much mind when his fingers are trailing the inside of your thighs again. “Maybe I should go on a quick getaway for a while.”

“What, so you can go fuck me in Paris, too?”

You do your best to bite down your whimpers when he lathers his fingers with the wetness between your thighs, making it a point to rub your still sensitive clit in slow, lazy circles. The vibrations of Jeonghan’s laughter travel across your skin and when he presses a kiss on the corner of your lips, you’re not sure how to feel—endeared by the sweet gesture or embarrassed by how quickly he’s winding you up.

It doesn’t take long for his cock to be in full hardness again and you don’t even resist him when Jeonghan eases his length back into your tight hole. He sighs against the crook of your neck, grazing your skin with his teeth as he slides inside you languidly. When your hips are flush together as he bottoms out, your chest swells with pride when you hear him breathe out a shuddering sigh.

“Fuck,” he groans. “Can’t believe I waited for so long to have you like this.”

“Now if only you said yes the first time I asked you to sleep with me,” you chuckle, trying not to moan at the feeling of his cock pulsating inside you. “You could’ve railed me in the bathroom of Cheol’s disco and he never would’ve known.”

“Oh, he’d definitely know,” Jeonghan chuckles dryly as he presses a kiss along your jaw. “But thanks for the visual, I think I just got even harder. We should do that when you get back.”

“Didn’t you say something about going on a quick getaway so you can fuck me in Paris, too?”

“You’re the one making plans here, sweetheart. Not me. But if you’re so hell-bent on taking my cock in the bathroom of some random Parisian disco instead, then I suppose I can make the proper arrangements,” your lover appeases you with a lazy smile. “Maybe I’ll have Jihoon and your friends watch after the store while I’m gone.”

“He might be your regular, but when he finds out that we’re screwing around, he’ll probably torch the entire building.”

Jeonghan pauses for a second. “That reminds me, won’t they be looking for you, sweetheart? From the way you were dressed earlier, it looked like you were headed somewhere else after buying that stupid badboy his birthday present. This is quite the detour, don’t you think?”

When Jeonghan brings it up, it takes you a few seconds to process that…fuck.

“Yeah…” you groan. “I was headed to the disco for Jungkook’s surprise party.”

He hums. “And here you are warming my cock. That boyfriend of yours is going to be heartbroken, you know?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you grumble, mewling when Jeonghan snaps his hips into yours to take you by surprise. “But…I guess it still sucks that I lead him on like that.”

“I suggest,” Jeonghan starts before pulling himself back again only to rut into you so hard, you’re surging forward on the bed. “That you give him a call in the morning—tell him that you’re fine and nothing’s happened to you. Oh, and tell him that you actually have a boyfriend now.”

Despite your senses being overloaded by how good his cock is stretching you mid-conversation, you still manage to look up at Jeonghan with withering surprise. “I do?”

“Sweet girl’s gone dumb on my cock, huh?” Jeonghan laughs, pressing a kiss to your forehead that has you melting from the contact. “From here on out, I’m your boyfriend. Some fucker from another city has no business flirting with you when you’re with me.”

In a split second of clarity, you roll your eyes at him. “I still think it’s stupid that you only went after me after I found someone else. You’re a terrible person.”

“But you still love me anyway, hm?”

You do. You think you’ve loved Jeonghan even longer than you first realized it. 

Loving him and losing him even if you had neither to love nor lose is a vicious pattern you’ve cycled through for the past four summers. You’re perfectly aware that actions have consequences and what you chose to do with Jeonghan now would definitely jeopardize everything you’ve built for yourself. 

But you can think about what Jihoon and Jungkook and Seungkwan and everyone else has to say about this some other time. 

For now, you’re just going to focus on how good your boyfriend splits you open on his cock.

“And how are you so sure about that?”

Jeonghan shrugs before crowding you against the bed, a no-good smirk plastered on his pretty face. It gives you hope that maybe—just maybe—the cycle has finally been broken.

“I dunno. Gut feeling.”

⟢ end notes: you're finally at the end of it! thank you so much for reading through this brain fart that has been decaying in my drive since july :') i'd also like to extend my thanks to jj, rj and zeta specifically because if it weren't for them i would've lost every and all direction for this fic altogether and i might've actually dropped out of the collab for real (i am literally 4 going 5 days late!!) leave a like, reblog with your thoughts, or yell at me in the replies -- idk !! it's just that this might be one of the last fics you'll read from me for a while, so i'd appreciate the feedback now more than ever T T that said, do check out everyone's works from the collab as well!! they've all created such wonderful stories with the given theme <3 you def won't regret it!

this is part of the svthub 70s;teen collab!

[0o-junebug-o0]

Bleach Stains

summary: You discover one of your favorite shirts got stained in the wash, Spencer helps you feel better

genre: fluff, very light angst and hurt/comfort

cw: completely gn!reader (reader is not described), no use of y/n, implied autistic!reader, autistic!spencer (because every spencer is autistic!spencer)

wordcount: 0.6k

a/n: wrote this bc this just happened to me and I want someone to make me feel better (I've also asked Reddit if they can find where to get another copy of the shirt)

You dump the clean laundry on the bed and begin to sort between Spencer’s clothes and your own. After about half of the pile is sorted and folded, you pick up one of your shirts, and when you hold it up you feel like your heart stops. There are bleach stains near the collar, standing out in a garish orange compared to the pale green of the shirt’s fabric. You don’t know how it happened, you don’t think you or Spencer even own bleach.

You turn the shirt around and look at the flower on the back. There’s another, darker stain next to it. Your eyes start to burn and tears blur your vision as you stare at it. You love this shirt. You sniffle and a tear slips down your cheek. You wipe it away with frustration as you feel your chin wobble. You don’t know why you’re so upset. It’s just a shirt. It’s just a stupid shirt. But you love this shirt. You bought it from a vendor at an art show last summer and you threw away the business card that came with it. And the brand on the tag is for the base shirt, without the design. You have no way of finding another.

You clutch the shirt to your chest and sit, curled up on the edge of the bed, the rest of the laundry forgotten. You know you could still wear it, the stains aren’t that noticeable, but it still feels ruined. Your shoulders shake with silent sobs. 

“Hey, do you know where—“ You look up to see Spencer standing in the doorway. He takes one look at your face and softly asks, “Oh, honey, what’s wrong.”

Fat tears stream down your cheeks and Spencer rushes over to you, pulling you into his arms. You bury your face in his chest, clutching your shirt between you, and cry. Spence rubs your back as he holds you, letting your emotions run their course.

“I-it’s ruined,” you whimper. 

“What is, sweetheart?” Spencer asks softly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

You pull back and hold up the shirt to show him the stains. “I don’t kn-know how it happened. But now it’s ruined! And-and I don’t know why I’m so sad. It’s such a stupid thing to be sad about!” you cry.

“It’s not stupid, sweetheart. And I’m so so sorry it got stained. I know how much you like this shirt.”

You sniff and wipe your eyes. “But it is stupid! It’s just a shirt!” you argue.

“If it’s upsetting you, it’s not stupid. And it’s not just a shirt, it’s special, right?”

You nod weakly.

“I’m sure we can find another one,” Spencer offers.

You shake your head. “It’s a modified shirt I got at an art vendor,” you whisper. “I didn’t keep the business card.”

Spencer smiles sympathetically. “I’m sure there’s a way, I’m friends with Penelope after all.”

You smile weakly at him before looking back down at the shirt balled in your hands. “And I can always wear it as a sleep shirt,” you mutter.

“Exactly,” Spencer agrees. “You don’t have to get rid of it. You can still wear it out too, if you want.”

You shake your head. “Can I have a hug?” you ask weakly, looking back up at Spencer.

“Of course, sweetheart,” he says, pulling you tight against his chest. He holds you, rocking back and forth ever so slightly until you feel better, and together, you fold the rest of the laundry.

Months later, on your birthday, Spencer hands you a thin box wrapped in white wrapping paper after you’d opened your other cards and gifts. You look at him, confused, and tear open the wrapping paper. You carefully open the box, and inside it sits a brand new version of that shirt and a note that says “From Spencer, Penelope, and the people of Reddit”. A laugh bubbles up your throat and, clutching the shirt like a lifeline, you launch yourself at Spencer, pulling him into a hug and whispering, “Thank you.”

_____

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[jiarkives]

wanting was enough

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ summary — wanting was enough. for steve, it was enough.

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ character — steve rogers (marvel)

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ content — angst ; steve’s pov to this

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ notes — timeline? we don’t know her 🤪 for the sake of the plot, bucky was found after eg and no one died ,,, also i hope this makes sense because i am like half asleep as i am writing this

~

Steve Rogers had always loved and will always love Margaret ‘Peggy’ Carter. For him, no one will ever compare to who she was as a soldier, as a woman, and as the one who held his heart. Or so he thought until he was pulled out of the ice and was thrusted into the world he knew nothing about, until he met you.

You were a rookie agent when Steve was pulled out of the ice and when he woke, Nick Fury assigned you your first mission—to help Captain America get back on his feet and adjust to his new world.

You and Steve didn’t hit it off immediately. In fact, you got off on the wrong foot. With your wits contradicting each other’s, and your smart mouth, you were bound to disagree. You would bicker at every waking hour you spent together, but he would be an absolute angel to everyone else, fueling your irritation further and so you gave the same energy back, maybe even more.

You directed all your anger onto him. At every moment, you were ready to reply with something snarky. You were always short with him, but you were the opposite to everybody else. In your head, you were giving him a dose of his own medicine.

And he let you because in his head, that was better. Your distance was so much better, not because he despised you, but because he saw her in you.

He saw her in the way you moved, the way you handled yourself with confidence and strength, the way you put deserving people in their places. But then as if a bucket of cold water was dumped on him and he realized.

He realized that everything was different, that she was gone. And for the first time, he saw you, and it just became so much worse because you were here, you were real, you were alive. You were someone he could hurt.

Then, not even a year after he was assigned to you, Fury reassigned you another mission, and the both of you were internally grateful. You were grateful to have been given a break from his insufferable ass, and he was grateful to have been distanced from you before his heart positively combusted.

Months passed right before his eyes and before he knew it, it was 2012. Fury sought him out for the Avengers Initiative and once again, he was Captain America.

With the shit that had gone down since he became an Avenger, he was always almost too busy to let his mind wander to you. Then, he found out that Peggy was alive. She was in this world and all of a sudden, he felt he had something to hold on to when the world moved too fast. And with his mind occupied with Peggy, you were almost completely wiped from his mind.

Then Peggy died and his world crumbled around him. He had seen it coming for a while. With Peggy’s age, he knew it was bound to happen sooner than later, but it was still a pain he never imagined.

Almost immediately after her death, the accords happened and faster than he could even blink, he was a fugitive, an enemy of the state. Everything went to shit after Peggy’s death and he felt as if he lost control over his own life.

Then you sought him out and took him in. You weren’t an Avenger, so you weren’t included in the whole mess in Germany, but you were still an agent of SHIELD.

You gave him shelter when he was on the run despite your connection to SHIELD. You were ready to throw everything away for him despite your history.

And during his time on the down low, your feelings started to bloom, seeing him in a new light, seeing him, not as Captain America, but as Steve, the scrawny boy from Brooklyn who wanted to kick bullies’ asses, but always ended up getting his ass kicked. But neither of you acted on your feelings.

Then all of a sudden, he was being whisked away because apparently, a titan from another planet was planning a universal genocide. They fought, but were unsuccessful.

Half of the world was wiped away and the first thing he thought to do after the battle was to seek you out, so he did. But you weren’t there. You weren’t in your own home and the only thing left of you was the pile of sand on your kitchen floor and a mixing bowl next to it.

Despite half of the world’s population being gone, it felt as if the world was moving too fast. Or maybe it was the grief slowing him down. Maybe it was both, but before he even realized, five years had passed and they were all presented a chance at getting half the world back, courtesy of Scott Lang.

With a lot of hiccups and injuries, but thankfully no deaths, they were able to get the world back and the titan was gone. Truly gone.

After the battle, Steve didn’t even wait until he was fully recovered to seek you out, and there you were in your house, coping with the fact that you have just lost five years of your life, despite feeling like you have only been gone for no longer than a minute.

He had barged into your home, looking you over before kissing the life out of you and there, something had bloomed.

At first, he was almost ecstatic at the thought that you were finally in his arms safe, sound, and alive. Then, he was scared. You were alive. You were someone the world could take away from him. You were someone he could hurt, and so he kept you a secret. He didn’t want to risk the world finding out about Captain America’s weakness and ultimately using you against him.

To his relief, you agreed to be his dirty little secret. It was fair, he thought. You got to keep your relationship with him and he got to keep you safe.

But it didn’t ease his fear. Despite the world not knowing about you and him, he was still scared. You were still with him and he could still hurt you, unlike Peggy, darling, dearest, dead Peggy.

And so unknowingly, he was pulling away from you and slowly holding on to the memories of Peggy, the memories of the world he knew before everything went to shit.

He knew damn well it was gone, that it didn’t exist anymore, but if it wasn’t real, if it wasn’t here, if it wasn’t alive, then he couldn’t fuck it up. The world wouldn’t be able to take it away from him because it was gone.

But you noticed, of course you did, and he didn’t expect anything less. You were a smart woman, his smart woman, and he knew you would catch on, but he didn’t expect you to confront him right after that mission. The mission where he found out that Bucky was alive, but he wasn’t his Bucky anymore. He was turned into one of HYDRA’s greatest weapon and he was taken because he was someone to Steve Rogers, he was someone to Captain America.

But he was there, he was real, he was alive, just like you are. And like Bucky, you could be taken away and used against him, and he wouldn’t know what he’d do if that ever happens, so he pushed you away. He told you lies. He held onto the memories of Peggy like a lifeline in hopes of keeping himself sane as he watched the best thing that ever happened to him crumble right before his eyes.

He watched as you left, unknowingly taking his heart with you.

In your head, his heart was buried with Peggy, completely unaware of the fact that you had taken his heart as you left.

[sunny44]

You shouldn’t let her go

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton!girlfriend reader x Max Verstappen!ex-girlfriend reader

Warnings: stupid Max, pregnancy

Summary: Max left his fiancée after years of relationship because he felt he couldn't stand being tied to someone anymore so after almost two years she shows up in the paddock with Lewis and he realizes he shouldn't have let her go.

Ps: just to make it clear, I am not in favor of the rivalry that is imposed on Lewis and Max, I know they are not friends but the reality does not match my stories, this is fiction so don't take it personally.

Next Chapter

When he decided that our relationship should end I thought he was joking.

For days and weeks I couldn't believe that this was real, but my mind was made up as soon as I saw pictures of him on the internet with women in parties.

It was then that I realized that our engagement was over.

I don't think I have ever suffered so much in my life, I never thought that I would be isolated for months.

I suffered so much that I started to stop eating, in the beginning I ate very little but as the days went by I decreased until I almost stopped completely but luckily my mother saved me from being at the bottom of the pit.

The first months were difficult, I had been used to our own routine for years and having to leave it suddenly was extremely difficult, in fact I was torn out of that routine.

I had to leave where I had lived for years since the apartment was his, I had to learn to take care of my place by myself since now there was no one else for me to share my tasks with.

But 5 months later I met someone, someone who made me have those feelings again, the feelings that I thought after Max I would never have again.

I already knew who he was and he also knew who I was but the fact that he was Max's enemy but leads meant that we never really talked.

Lewis and I had been dating for almost 9 months when he ask me to be his girlfriend and I remember being extremely happy that he was taking our relationship as seriously as I was.

And since that day we have been together and today would be the first time I could be in a formula one paddock since Max and I broke up.

Today was the Dutch GP and Lewis and I were on our way to the paddock, him and I had agreed early on in the relationship that we would only go public when we were comfortable letting the world know about us. I know how well this world works, if you don't do something people judge you and if you do something they judge you anyways.

And I knew what the fans would say that I was a hustler who only dates drivers and that since I got dumped by one I went after another.

But they don't know the half of it because the part where I suffered they don't care because one of the most coveted pilots became single so they can go after him and try their luck and some of them really do.

Most of them are like that, they go from city to city in nightclubs chasing silly girls who are willing to have their one minute of fame for being able to say that they fuck a formula 1 driver, but in the end this is nothing because in years of relationship he can forget you in one day so how long does it take for them to forget a simple fuck?

When we arrived in the paddock I could already feel my nervousness and so could Lewis, he knew I was afraid to come but not because I was here again or even because I had to see him.

But because of the fact that I would be judged for dating a driver who doesn't get along well with my ex for clear reasons.

But I'm already expecting that his fans don't like me.

"Are you okay?" He asks looking at me but I don't answer and just stare at nothing. "Hey, baby."

"Yeah?" I asked looking at him.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Again he asks and I don't answer. "I'm not sure we picked the right GP to do this."

"In this situation there is no right GP. But I think we picked the worst one." I say and he laughs. "Look they are going to hate me anyway with us showing up together today or in the next race so let's just get over with."

"That's the way to talk." He says cheerfully and we get out of the car.

When we got out of the car and were getting in it seemed like the world had stopped around the two of us, the flashes and noises of the cameras, the movement was so big that even some of the drivers that were scattered around looked and were surprised at what they were seeing.

Halfway there I felt Lewis taking my hand and intertwining our fingers and confirming what people were thinking.

We walked to the Mercedes garage and before we entered I could see him standing in front of the Red Bull garage with some people from the team talking to him but Max was more focused on me than on them.

When we got inside I went to say hello to the people from the team, some faces were already known but most I didn't know who they were.

"We have an unexpected visitor." I hear a voice behind me and I recognized it right away by the accent.

"Hi Toto, how are you?"

"Fine and you?"

"I'm great taking all the attention."

"It's almost as if Beyoncé is walking into the paddock."

"I felt like her." He laughs.

"I'm going to go change and be right back okay?" Lewis says and I nodded and he gave me a kiss before heading to his room.

"I'm going to get some coffee, will you let him know for me?" Toto agrees and I leave to get a cup of coffee.

Which I shouldn't have done if I knew Max would find me and come after me.

"Hi."

"Hi Max."

"Good to see you, you look great."

"Thanks."

"And how are you?"

"Fine."

"I haven't heard from you anymore."

"You wouldn't have had to know, you made it very clear that you didn't want me in your life anymore the last time we saw each other."

"And that was the biggest mistake of my life.”

"That’s your problem now." I said walking past him but he held my arm. "Can you let go of me?"

"Are you really with him or was that whole scene just to make me jealous?"

"Pay close attention because I'm only going to tell you once, you broke up with me and it was you who broke my heart. You don't know what the hell my life was like after you dumped me, so don't come to me wanting to know about my life because I don't owe you anything.”

"I'm sorry I was an asshole and I deserve that you are angry with me but seriously you are dating him? You didn't even like him."

"YOU didn't even like him Max I've never even spoken to him to draw those conclusions. And you are rivals on the track but off the track you have no connection."

"So you're dating a guy who hates me? After everything we've been through?"

"And after everything we've been through you dumped me like that for no reason at all so it looks like we're even." He looks at me with anger and sadness at the same time. "And for your information yes I am dating him and it's been a long time, it's not something recent that happened just so I could make you jealous. So leave me alone."

I turned to leave and after a few steps I stopped and looked at him.

"Actually I do owe you something.” He looked at me. "I owe you a thank you for breaking my heart years ago because then I could meet a guy who really loves me and who sees a future with me unlike you who only saw me as a trophy that you dragged everywhere."

Having said that I actually left and went to get a coffee which would actually be a tea since I was avoiding drinking too much coffee.

After buying the tea and a donut that I couldn't resist when I saw it I went back to the Mercedes garage seeing a super worried Lewis.

"Oh my God, where were you? I was worried when I came back and didn't see you here."

"I asked Toto to tell you I was going to get something to drink."

"He had to go to a meeting and must have forgotten."

"I'm fine, don't worry."

"You look a little pale, is something wrong?" He asks, running his hand over my face and I know why I was pale but I wouldn’t tell him right before the race.

"I had a forced conversation with Max on the way over."

"What did he do? Did he hurt you?"

"He didn't hurt me he just wanted to know if we were really together or I was just using you to make him jealous. But I'm not." I hasten to say."

"I know don't worry about it, don't worry about him okay? He's not worth your time."

Lewis put his arms around my waist bringing me close to him and I held his face and kissed him until we were interrupted by the crew calling Lewis to get in the car because the race was about to start, he kissed me once more and went to the car.

I didn't remember how torturous and agonizing it was to have someone you love racing at over 300km/h, every time it seemed like someone was going to crash and I was scared to death that something was going to happen to Lewis but I knew that he was an excellent driver and had total control of what he was doing.

That was until he started to lose positions and that made me and the team worried because the car was the best of the weekend.

Max was first now and I could almost hear his laughter in my head and it really pissed me off.

"Y/n come here." I heard Toto calling me and Bono handing me a microphone.

"Why are you giving this to me?" I picked up the headset in confusion.

"He's nervous for some reason and we can't calm him down so try talking to him."

"Lewis can you hear me?" I ask after I put the headset on.

"Honey? What are you doing there?"

"You need to concentrate, what's going on?"

"I keep thinking about you and him, and it's distracting me. I'm afraid that after you talked today you might want to get back together with him.”

"Don't think about it, I love you and I'm never getting back with Max, understand? I couldn't even."

"Why couldn't you?"

"Because me and our baby love you and we are here rooting for you too."

"Our baby?" he asks without understanding.

"I'm pregnant babe."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, I am."

"Are we having a baby?"

"Yes we are." I could hear him laughing with happiness. "So go get him."

Right then he sped up and sped up as if his life depended on it and on the last lap he passed Max and the whole garage celebrated, when he crossed the finish line we all went in front of the podium where I went running with the team and stood right in front, he jumped out of the car and celebrated and then came running towards me and kissed me, he pulled me through the fence hugging me even tighter. He bent down and kissed my belly making me laugh through my tears and the look on Max's face that came second didn't go unnoticed, I don't know if it was me but their eyes seemed to shine with the tears but at the moment I didn't care because my happiness was there with me celebrating his victory.

Bonus scene!

Yourusername instagram post

Liked by LewisHamilton, yourmom, mickshumacher, landonorris and others 82937

Yourusername After feeling lonely and unhappy for years I finally found someone who makes me feel like the most special woman in the world. I can't thank you enough for making me shine again and for making me a better person.

And now that our family is growing, I can only thank you for always being there for us, I love you so much.

Tagged: LewisHamilton

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[zilabee]

Tony Bramwell on Brian:

- Brian dropped in at the Cavern and, spoiled for choice, fell in love at first sight with each of the Beatles in turn

- Brian almost promised to love, honour and obey them.

- He never publicly showed his embarrassment with poor deals, but one could tell something wasn’t right because inside, he anguished. Chewed his knuckles and grew pale.

- He was a fiercely loyal and honourable friend to those he loved, and ruthless toward those he despised

- He was shy to the point of blushing and stammering, and theatrical to the point of ranting and frothing at the mouth

- His biggest problem, perhaps his only real problem, was that he was homosexual in a still very unenlightened era. It kept getting in the way. Whenever he sat down for a meeting with heavyweights like Sir Joseph Lockwood at EMI, or whoever, he felt they all knew. “They’re talking behind my back, Tony,” Brian said. “They don’t respect me.”

- Paul was fond of Brian and thought he was the best possible manager: one who was courteous, who didn’t interfere with their private lives, but achieved all he said he would do. He never criticized him—none of us did. Brian was a god.  (It was only later that the façade cracked a bit, but even then we loved him. He was like family, and you accept your family for what they are and forgive them most anything.)

- his wonderfully fertile mind continuously thinking up innovative ideas and then worrying about them

- Brian was so different when around his beloved protégés. He became one of them. He was a friend, a chum, charming, trustworthy and kind. He set out to do what he promised and they all said it would never have happened without him.

- Brian bought an off-the-shelf company named Suba Films, which I virtually ran. It was way ahead of its time, the only independent company in England making music videos

- Whenever things got raunchy and out of hand around us, he would make his excuses and leave. At times, he almost ran.

- [on writing his biography]: “You don’t think John will think I’m raining on his parade, do you?” he asked hesitantly.

- I believe that Brian’s paranoia over the Beatles’ contract and his heavy use of drugs led him to think that it was only a matter of time before everything came tumbling down and he would be left standing in the ruins, with people pointing their fingers like kids in a playground.

- He was seriously ill and desperately sought to escape from the circus of his own creation.

- He was tormented by the idea of letting down his beloved Cilla and the Beatles, particularly John.

- He underwent deep sleep therapies at the Priory, being put under for days at a time with heavy drugs.

- Whether he managed the Beatles or not, he would still get 25 percent of their earnings from record sales for nine years. This subtlety had somehow escaped the Beatles, but it bothered Brian. It gnawed at his conscience because in his heart he knew he had conned them.

- [He] was abnormally distressed, convincing himself that they weren’t going to sign up again because they loathed him. Going through months of paranoia, he looked for reasons and forlornly asked the question, “Don’t they like me anymore?”

- It was so silly because it wasn’t like that at all. At different times, all of them commented to me that they would never have signed another contract as “Beatles” but they would have signed individually with Brian.

- “No, I think John hates me now. I don’t know what I’ll do if they don’t sign. What will people think? I can see the headlines now: EPSTEIN DUMPED BY BEATLES.”

- He was now seriously unhappy, not just troubled. His personality had radically changed.

- Brian had resident nurses, doctors who stayed, psychiatrists who lived in, all crowded into that little doll’s house, getting on each other’s nerves. At times he’d make an effort. He would sweet-talk everyone and then escape when they weren’t looking.

- [after Brian's death] Joanne was in shock. She had seen him first. The doors had been broken down and there he was, curled up on his side in bed with Saturday’s mail lying next to him. “We all knew at once that he was dead, but I heard myself say, ‘It’s all right, he’s just asleep. He’s fine,’ ” she said.

- It was unbelievable that the man who had got all this going—the vast money-making machine and the culture shock that had changed the world—was gone.

- The Summer of Love was over and autumn coming.

- I have been asked many times why it was that the Beatles didn’t just hire an office manager to handle their business affairs and pay him or her a salary. It would have made sense. But it never occurred to them. They just went blindly on, trying to find someone to replace Brian, like it was some kind of law. They seemed to think that they had to have a manager, to whom they had to give 25 percent of their gross income, or they’d be arrested or drummed out of the Brownies.

[lazeecomet]

The Story of KLogs: What happens when an Mechanical Engineer codes

Since i no longer work at Wearhouse Automation Startup (WAS for short) and havnt for many years i feel as though i should recount the tale of the most bonkers program i ever wrote, but we need to establish some background

WAS has its HQ very far away from the big customer site and i worked as a Field Service Engineer (FSE) on site. so i learned early on that if a problem needed to be solved fast, WE had to do it. we never got many updates on what was coming down the pipeline for us or what issues were being worked on. this made us very independent

As such, we got good at reading the robot logs ourselves. it took too much time to send the logs off to HQ for analysis and get back what the problem was. we can read. now GETTING the logs is another thing.

the early robots we cut our teeth on used 2.4 gHz wifi to communicate with FSE's so dumping the logs was as simple as pushing a button in a little application and it would spit out a txt file

later on our robots were upgraded to use a 2.4 mHz xbee radio to communicate with us. which was FUCKING SLOW. and log dumping became a much more tedious process. you had to connect, go to logging mode, and then the robot would vomit all the logs in the past 2 min OR the entirety of its memory bank (only 2 options) into a terminal window. you would then save the terminal window and open it in a text editor to read them. it could take up to 5 min to dump the entire log file and if you didnt dump fast enough, the ACK messages from the control server would fill up the logs and erase the error as the memory overwrote itself.

this missing logs problem was a Big Deal for software who now weren't getting every log from every error so a NEW method of saving logs was devised: the robot would just vomit the log data in real time over a DIFFERENT radio and we would save it to a KQL server. Thanks Daddy Microsoft.

now whats KQL you may be asking. why, its Microsofts very own SQL clone! its Kusto Query Language. never mind that the system uses a SQL database for daily operations. lets use this proprietary Microsoft thing because they are paying us

so yay, problem solved. we now never miss the logs. so how do we read them if they are split up line by line in a database? why with a query of course!

select * from tbLogs where RobotUID = [64CharLongString] and timestamp > [UnixTimeCode]

if this makes no sense to you, CONGRATULATIONS! you found the problem with this setup. Most FSE's were BAD at SQL which meant they didnt read logs anymore. If you do understand what the query is, CONGRATULATIONS! you see why this is Very Stupid.

You could not search by robot name. each robot had some arbitrarily assigned 64 character long string as an identifier and the timestamps were not set to local time. so you had run a lookup query to find the right name and do some time zone math to figure out what part of the logs to read. oh yeah and you had to download KQL to view them. so now we had both SQL and KQL on our computers

NOBODY in the field like this.

But Daddy Microsoft comes to the rescue

see we didnt JUST get KQL with part of that deal. we got the entire Microsoft cloud suite. and some people (like me) had been automating emails and stuff with Power Automate

This is Microsoft Power Automate. its Microsoft's version of Scratch but it has hooks into everything Microsoft. SharePoint, Teams, Outlook, Excel, it can integrate with all of it. i had been using it to send an email once a day with a list of all the robots in maintenance.

this gave me an idea

and i checked

and Power Automate had hooks for KQL

KLogs is actually short for Kusto Logs

I did not know how to program in Power Automate but damn it anything is better then writing KQL queries. so i got to work. and about 2 months later i had a BEHEMOTH of a Power Automate program. it lagged the webpage and many times when i tried to edit something my changes wouldn't take and i would have to click in very specific ways to ensure none of my variables were getting nuked. i dont think this was the intended purpose of Power Automate but this is what it did

the KLogger would watch a list of Teams chats and when someone typed "klogs" or pasted a copy of an ERROR mesage, it would spring into action.

it extracted the robot name from the message and timestamp from teams

it would lookup the name in the database to find the 64 long string UID and the location that robot was assigned too

it would reply to the message in teams saying it found a robot name and was getting logs

it would run a KQL query for the database and get the control system logs then export then into a CSV

it would save the CSV with the a .xls extension into a folder in ShairPoint (it would make a new folder for each day and location if it didnt have one already)

it would send ANOTHER message in teams with a LINK to the file in SharePoint

it would then enter a loop and scour the robot logs looking for the keyword ESTOP to find the error. (it did this because Kusto was SLOWER then the xbee radio and had up to a 10 min delay on syncing)

if it found the error, it would adjust its start and end timestamps to capture it and export the robot logs book-ended from the event by ~ 1 min. if it didnt, it would use the timestamp from when it was triggered +/- 5 min

it saved THOSE logs to SharePoint the same way as before

it would send ANOTHER message in teams with a link to the files

it would then check if the error was 1 of 3 very specific type of error with the camera. if it was it extracted the base64 jpg image saved in KQL as a byte array, do the math to convert it, and save that as a jpg in SharePoint (and link it of course)

and then it would terminate. and if it encountered an error anywhere in all of this, i had logic where it would spit back an error message in Teams as plaintext explaining what step failed and the program would close gracefully

I deployed it without asking anyone at one of the sites that was struggling. i just pointed it at their chat and turned it on. it had a bit of a rocky start (spammed chat) but man did the FSE's LOVE IT.

about 6 months later software deployed their answer to reading the logs: a webpage that acted as a nice GUI to the KQL database. much better then an CSV file

it still needed you to scroll though a big drop-down of robot names and enter a timestamp, but i noticed something. all that did was just change part of the URL and refresh the webpage

SO I MADE KLOGS 2 AND HAD IT GENERATE THE URL FOR YOU AND REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGE WITH IT. (it also still did the control server and jpg stuff). Theres a non-zero chance that klogs was still in use long after i left that job

now i dont recommend anyone use power automate like this. its clunky and weird. i had to make a variable called "Carrage Return" which was a blank text box that i pressed enter one time in because it was incapable of understanding /n or generating a new line in any capacity OTHER then this (thanks support forum).

im also sure this probably is giving the actual programmer people anxiety. imagine working at a company and then some rando you've never seen but only heard about as "the FSE whos really good at root causing stuff", in a department that does not do any coding, managed to, in their spare time, build and release and entire workflow piggybacking on your work without any oversight, code review, or permission.....and everyone liked it

[nhlclover]

ENCHANTED . . . COLE CAUFIELD

summary: an enchanting night with your brother's teammate changes the way you feel about dating

warnings: NOT proof read, drinking, kissing

word count: 2.57k

You pause the episode of Survivor, tuning into the muffled conversation you could hear from the kitchen. It was Nick and Caitlin, although their raised volume indicated that they were arguing, which was bizarre. It had been a bit over 6 months since you’d lived with your brother and his girlfriend and not once had you heard them argue, let alone get in a serious disagreement.

Their voices approached your room accompanied by footsteps.  The room is brightened by the hall light as they appear in the doorway, dressed to go out.

“What?” You ask in a monotone voice.

“We’re going to Kirby’s house for a party.” He tells you.

“Okay? Have fun.” You say, wondering why he felt the need to tell you.

“No I mean we as in all of us. You’re coming too.” He says.

You roll your eyes, pulling the comforter over your torso. “I’m not really in the mood for partying with your teammates, Nick.”

“Don’t care. You’re coming with us, y/n.” Nick said, turning on the bedside lamp. “It’s getting a little sad, all of this moping. I mean I’m pretty sure it’s been a week since you’ve seen sunlight.”

“Nick, she just got broken up with, cut her some slack.” Caitlin says from the doorway. 

“Thank you, Caitlin. See this is why I like her better than you, she shows me compassion.” You say.

“To hell with compassion.” Nick rolls his eyes. “You guys dated for less than two months, he didn’t even know your middle name.”

“Can’t you just let me be sad?” You ask. “I don’t know why you want me to come with you guys.” 

“Because if mom knew that you were just lying in bed, eating chips and binging Survivor, she wouldn’t be happy with either of us.” Nick pointed out your depressing habits. He yanked the comforter off you, taking your laptop and putting it on the desk. “Now get dressed we leave in 15 minutes.”

You groan, watching him walk out of the room with Caitlin shooting you a look of sympathy before she walks out too. Not that he deserves the credit, but Nick was partially right. You had only been dating for two months, so your moping about this one guy was a little extreme, but he was the third guy that you had gone out with only to get dumped less than two months later. It was getting frustrating as you started to wonder if something about you was turning all these guys away.

Another thing he was right about was that you hadn’t left the apartment in over a week. Even you were starting to get a little disappointed in yourself. 

You forced yourself out of bed and into your closet to pick out an outfit. You pick out a black miniskirt and a black corset top, finding an oversized leather jacket in the closet to wear over. You got some block-heeled boots to finish off the look. 

You have enough energy to get out of bed and get dressed, but not enough to put any effort into makeup or hair. You took my hair out of its braid, tousling it a bit, while putting on a bit of mascara on your eyelashes.

You grab your purse, heading to the living room where Caitlin and Nick are waiting. Nick eyes your outfit, then shakes his head.

“No, that skirt’s way too short, go change.” Nick says. You go to protest but Caitlin speaks before you can. 

“Get off her ass, Nick. She looks good.” She says. She hooks her arm with yours as you head out. You get in Nick’s car, the short drive getting you guys to Kirby’s house in a few minutes

Immediately you regret your decision. You thought was going to be just Nick’s teammates but it became apparent that you were wrong as there had to be 100 people in the room. This is the exact opposite environment you wanted to be in at the moment, with sweaty bodies on either side of you as soon as you stepped into the room.

“Nick!” A voice shouts.

Kirby swoops in out of nowhere, scooping up Nick in his arms, giving his captain a hug.

“Hey, Kirbs.” Nick chuckles as he’s put back down.

You quickly zone out of their conversation, looking around the room at the different guests of Kirby’s party. You sport various Habs players and their significant others around the room, but mostly people you don’t know.

It was somewhere in the middle of another unamusing joke that you were prepared to exhibit some forced laughter when you spotted him across the room. His familiar face grinned as he downed the last couple drops of his drink, then began to make his way over to you. 

“Hey, boys.” Cole says as he approaches. “Hey, Caitlin.”

“Cole, wassup bud,” Nick says, dapping him up. 

Cole turned to you. “Hey, y/n.” He said, a smile tugging on his lips.

The first time you’d met Cole was two years ago during the Stanley Cup Finals when Montreal played Tampa. It was Cole’s first year in the league, and you had just wrapped up your sophomore year at Western.

At the time, you’d developed a small crush on your brother’s teammate. It was nothing huge, truly just a passing crush, like the ones you’d had on the boys you’d see once in your lectures.

Then you transferred to McGill and moved in with Nick. Cole became a frequent presence in your life, being a good friend of your brothers. Your once ‘small crush’ bloomed into something stronger. But Nick had already made it clear long ago that he didn’t want you crushing on any of his teammates. Ever.

So, you moved on. You let your crush on Cole get shoved down deep as you moved on to other guys.

“Nick!” Someone shouted from within the house.

Suddenly Chris Wideman is pushing through people, barreling towards your brother and engulfing him in a hug.

“C’mon man, you’ve gotta see Slaf right now.” He says.

Within seconds, Kirby, Nick, and Caitlin are out of the room, leaving just you and Cole. He looks over at you but you avoid eye contact.

“Did Nick drag you here?” Cole asks, making you finally look at him.

Oh, his eyes.

“How’d you know?” You ask.

“I’ve seen you smile, like a real smile, and the entire time Kirby was talking and cracking jokes and you were smiling? That was not a real smile.” He says.

He notices my smile?

“Um, yeah. Nick forced me here. Pulled the brother card.” You say, making Cole laugh. “I would genuinely rather be anywhere else, parties aren’t really my thing.”

Cole looks around, then back to you.

“Listen, I’ll go back in there, nab a bottle of something and bring it back.” Cole says. “We can find somewhere to sit and take a break from them. Because if I’m being truthful, I can’t stand most of the people here.”

You laugh, watching Cole enter the kitchen. He returns a minute later, an unopened bottle of Malibu in his hand

“Jackpot.” He says, holding it up.

The pair of you walk through the hall to the back door, exiting the stuffy kitchen. You guys head for the pool, sitting down at the edge, removing your shoes and sticking your feet in the crystal water. Cole unscrews the cap, takes a sip, and pulls a face as he swallows.

“I forgot I hate coconut.” He says. You laugh, taking the bottle from him and taking a swig. 

Conversation soon finds you naturally, not running out of things to say, topics flowing from one to the other. Hours passed by as you guys sat at the edge of the pool simply talking your way through the bottle of rum. 

“Who do you love?” Cole asks suddenly.

You choke on the rum you’d just sipped, laughing as a blush forms on Cole’s cheeks as he tries to backtrack.

“What…what I meant was are you… are you dating someone?” Coke says, eventually falling into laughter himself. “Fuck that was so weird of me, I’m sorry.”

Once your laughter subsides, you take a swig from the bottle. “Um, no one at the moment.” You say. 

“Really?” Cole says, a shocked look on his face.

“Yeah.” You nod. “I haven’t exactly had the best luck in dating these past few months.”

“That’s surprising.” Cole says.

“Why’s that surprising?” You ask.

“Well... you’re so… I mean…” Cole stumbles over his words. “Y’know you’re being a bottle hog.”

Cole grabs the bottle, taking a large swig himself. You allowed the moment to change but his question lingered in your mind.

It was somewhere around 2 AM when you finally checked your phone. Several text messages and phone calls from Nick and Caitlin appeared in your notifications.

“Shit.” You say, clicking on his contact and calling Nick back.

“Where are you?” Nick asks, a hint of anger and fear in his voice.

“I’m just in the backyard.” You tell him.

“Why the hell are you in the backyard?” Nick asks, then relaying the message to someone, no doubt Caitlin.

“I needed fresh air.” You say.

Nick continues to scold you, telling you how worried he was when he couldn’t find you or get a hold of you. He tells you that they’re leaving now and to hurry up. You stand up, grabbing your shoes in one hand. Cole follows close behind as you make your way to the front of the house.

“Wait, hold on.” Cole says, grabbing your hand and pulling you back slightly. “I can’t go around front. If Nick sees me with you, both of us wasted on Malibu, I don’t think he’d be too happy with me.”

You laugh, nodding in agreement. “Thank you, for tonight. I haven’t had this much fun in a while.” You say.

Cole smiles and agrees. The pair of you stand there, caught. Part of you doesn’t want to leave him just yet, feeling too much was left unsaid. You don’t know how long to two of you are standing there staring, but you’re yanked out of it as Cole pulls you into him, your lips crashing together.

His stubble lightly scratches your chin, goosebumps prickling down your spine. His hands find your hips,  and needing to close in the space, he pulls your body into his. You break apart, left a little shocked by what Cole had just done. 

“I uh… Nick’s waiting.” Is all you can say.

You spin on your heel, walking towards the driveway, leaving Cole there. You regret it as soon as you’re around the corner, spotting Nick in front of the house standing next to his car. You nearly turn around to go back to Cole, but Nick spots you, chastising you for taking so much time. You shove yourself into the back seat, looking out the window.

The kiss plays on repeat in your head the whole way home, your cheeks heating up as you remember his hands on your hips, gripping onto your jacket in an attempt to pull you closer.

You get home, beelining for your room, afraid that Nick or Caitlin would try to ask questions about your demeanour or why you were in the backyard. The kiss and the conversations keep you up, wanting to replay them over and over in order to not forget them. Eventually, you fall asleep, the feeling of Cole’s lips never leaving your mind.

You wake up in the late morning, the sun beaming in making the room a little too bright for your sensitive eyes. You trudge out into the kitchen, noticing the silent house. On the counter was a note from Nick and Caitlin, saying they’d gone to run errands and that they wouldn’t be back till later.

You took the opportunity to bask in the quiet apartment, making yourself breakfast. A few minutes later there’s a knock on the door. You open the door to Cole. His hands shoved in his pockets, a backwards hat on his head. Upon seeing you, a soft smile spreads on his lips.

“Oh, hey Cole.” You say. “Um, Nick’s not home right now.”

“Oh…I’m not here for Nick.” Cole says. “Can I come in?”

You step aside, letting Cole step in, shutting the door behind him. You’re suddenly painfully aware of your outfit, wearing an old McGill shirt and a pair of men's boxers that had been repurposed as sleep shorts. Your hair was pulled back in a messy braid, strands of hair having fallen out during the night.

“I think it might’ve been a mistake. Me kissing you last night.” Cole says.

“W-why?” You ask.

Cole’s brows furrow. “Well after I kissed you, you just said ‘Nick’s waiting’. Didn’t exactly seem like the reaction of someone who enjoyed the kiss.”

“Well, how else are you supposed to react when the guy you like kisses you out of nowhere? It kind of catches you off guard a bit don’t you think?” You blurt out. You clamp your mouth shut, but a small smile appears on Cole’s lips.

“What? Do you like me?” Cole asks. He steps towards you as you offer him no response.

Part of you, the rational part of you, is screaming at you to step back. Not only were you just in multiple failed relationships, but Cole was your brother’s teammate and friend. He was part of the one group of people you knew Nick would never approve of.

But the other part of you wants him to kiss you again. You want to feel that rush you got when he put his hands on your body, the chills that went up your spine when his stubble scratched your chin. 

“Do you or do you not like me?” Cole asks, taking another few steps towards you.

He’s right there. Right in your face. And you can’t help but kiss him.

Your hands go up to the sides of his face, pressing your lips to his. Cole doesn’t hesitate to put his hands on your waist, instead tugging on your shirt to draw you in. The same chill-inducing rush comes back, Cole pushing his tongue past your lips. 

You’re about to let him carry you to the couch and take control when you hear keys jingling in the door. You jump back, nearly pushing Cole away. Nick and Caitlin come through the door, grocery bags in hand. When they spot Cole, looks of confusion paint their faces.

“Cole?” Nick asks. “What’re you doing here?’

“I uh… wanted to see if you wanted to work out with me today. Maybe play a bit of tennis too?” Cole asks.

“You couldn’t text me? Or call?” Nick laughed.

“I left my phone at Kirby’s last night.” Cole says. 

You know Cole’s lying but Nick doesn’t and seems to buy his lie. “Uh yeah let’s do it.” Nick says. “Just let me put away the groceries and I’ll be good to go.”

Nick and Caitlin begin to put the groceries away. When they aren’t looking, you shoot Cole a look which he reads as ‘what the hell did you get yourself into?’. 

Cole quietly steps over, leaning over. “Looks like I’m going to the gym.” He whispers. “I’ll text you later.”

You shoot him a smile, walking to your room, replaying the events of last night and a few minutes ago in your head.

[oscar-wilde-thing]

Four years ago I sat in a psychiatrist's office. I was explaining why a certain Cognitive Behavioral Therapy technique felt impossible.

"If I don't think I know how a social interaction is going to work out, if I don't know the pattern, I can't do it."

The Dr nodded, and we moved on.

A few sessions later, she said she didn't think she could work with me anymore.

Great, I thought to myself. I'm being dumped by my therapist.

"I don't think I can work with you, because I think you're autistic."

I literally felt my world shift underneath me.

She explained more, about social interactions, about hyper sensitivity, about pattern recognition and anxiety and early-life academic achievement. I did end up stopping treatment with her, I don't really remember why. But I held that suggestion in my head.

The end of 2019 was rocky- working retail around the holidays is its own special hell, and my grandmother died in December of that year.

Then 2020 happened. COVID and isolation and protests and my workplace unionizing. Through all of that I was reading, and watching videos, and researching. About how autism and neurodivergency presents differently in girls and AFAB people. How the research is incredibly outdated and mostly focused on white, middle class boys. How getting a diagnosis as an adult, let alone an AFAB adult, is a fight.

I kept trucking along, learning new ways to cope. Figuring out that sometimes what I had thought were anxiety attacks was actually sensory overload. That my penchant for spreadsheets and what I called my "encyclopedic nerd brain" were probably hyper fixations.

It took 4 years.

4 years, 8 more mental health professionals, a mental breakdown, a month in residential mental health care, and 5 more months in acute daily mental health care, but today, at 12:55PM, I was officially diagnosed with Autism.

I'm sitting here at my desk weeping because I'm both so happy and so angry. Happy that there's a reason I feel the way I feel, that there's a reason why the world seems so harsh, that there's a reason why I sometimes physically can't talk and a reason why certain foods and sounds and textures make me want to crawl out of my skin. But I'm also so angry that it took 26 years for anyone to see. That it took another 4 years for me to get any answers. That there are countless other little girls and adult AFABS like me out there who feel like they're doing everything they're supposed to but not getting what the world tells them they should be getting.

My life has changed. Or maybe it hasn't changed. Maybe a door has opened that had never been seen before.

I'm not sure how to wrap this up.

I just know that learning more about myself is rarely a bad thing. And now that I know this big piece of who I am, I'll be able to go forward and learn more ways to exist in this world as an autistic person.

[petermorwood]

Microwave Sponge Cake (eventually)

Long ago, @dduane and I had a Whirlpool combi microwave - micro, grill, fan oven - and It Was Great, big enough to use as a proper oven when what needed cooked in a proper oven was small enough that powering up the big proper oven in the cooker was a bit much.

Still with me...?

IIRC it was one of those Christmas presents where Mum, ever-practical, told us; "get yourselves something really useful but not too expensive (I did say practical!) and I'll go halves."

In 2016, after something like 15 years of pretty-well daily use for one thing and another, the old thing expired by stages, micro first, grill second, oven last - it made great bread up until the end - and went to recycling heaven.

*****

We couldn't find a one-for-one replacement (we needed a free-standing counter-top appliance, everyone was selling built-in), so until once was available (optimism) we bought an ordinary microwave.

NB, this and its successors were only used for ordinary microwave things like reheating, defrosting and dealing with freeze-cook stuff. They got nothing like the amount of use of the old combi, mostly because of being incapable of doing a lot of it. As things turned out, this didn't help much.

About eighteen months later, we had to buy another. If a microwave's enamel interior develops a crack (to this day I don't know how), moisture gets in, rust begins and the enamel pulls off the bare metal. That's when you get "sparking".

This demo is deliberate; believe me, when it's unexpected it's even worse.

A private welder show or lightning storm at the end of the kitchen counter when all you want is a hot cuppa is distinctly unsettling. Also, it's only going to get worse, and we could imagine - boy, could we - what "Much Worse" might look like.

To the recycle dump!

(NB, micros with stainless steel interiors don't seem to do this, probably because they're already tuned to deal with the bare metal.)

The replacement, another ordinary micro, Just Up And Died after eighteen months and, guess what, the quote for a check-up and replacements-if-required was as much as the price of a new one.

(Inkjet printers seem to operate on this principal too.)

To the recycle dump again!

We got a third new one (which BTW is still running just fine, because it's been downgraded to Extra, read on), totalled up what we'd spent on ordinary microwaves, said a few well-chosen words about planned obsolescence and the "Vimes 'Boots' Theory of Economic Inequality" and got ourselves a pre-pay credit card whose top-ups were dedicated to Get A Combi Again.

We didn't bother with GACA baseball caps.

That would have been silly.

I don't know if these cards exist in the USA; we treat them as the modern version of a piggy-bank...

...except that to get at the money you need two people acting in accord.

*****

And in 2021 we got one.

Okay, this next bit is going to read like an ad.

It isn't, because the appliance is discontinued. (Whirlpool FINALLY do something similar but not identical.) It's just enthusiastic users discovering there's even more to a gadget than expected.

*****

The New One even bigger than the old one, which had 28 litres capacity; the new one was 33 L (was .99 ft³, is now 1.16 ft³). In non-tech terms, wow, More Room To Cook In.

Reading the figures was no help (to me, anyway) in visualising what a maw the thing had, but opening the door did that and no mistake.

I said something to DD about "bite radius"...

...and she instantly responded with "anyway, we delivered the bomb".

We're a quotesy household. ;->

BTW, The New One does a very good job on seafood, too...

*****

Since we got this, almost exactly two years ago, we've used it from reheating tea to roasting meat to making chilli / goulash / stew / curry (you can run the oven / grill separately or add simultaneous zaps of microwave for much less cooking time) to baking bread.

One of the best things about it is that when the set cooking time is done, the appliance switches off automatically. No risk of busyness, absent-mindedness or out-in-the-garden-ness ending in clouds of smoke, ruined food and possibly even worse.

As for breadmaking, it has a dough-rise setting which is a Time Machine, reducing a two-hour "doubled in size" rise time to about 35-45 minutes...

It also has the most reliable Defrost Butter setting either of us have ever encountered, turning a rock-solid butter brick from the freezer into something spreadable while never - to date - doing the "never mind a butter-knife, give me a spoon or a paintbrush" thing.

*****

However...

There's also a "Chef Setting" where there are some simple recipes. Here's the pastry page.

Basically, you assemble and mix the ingredients, input the correct settings and the machine does all the timing, heating and cooking.

We'd never used this until yesterday, when DD said, "Let's try the sponge cake..."

Yes, this post was entitled "Microwave Sponge Cake (eventually)..." and here we are...

We did all the measuring correctly and checked it by pouring the mixture into a baking container while on the scale, wondering betimes why the recipe says 900g, the ingredients total 925 and what actually poured into the container reads 906... Weird. Really weird.

Then we put the container into the oven, entered the correct code, and let things do what they were going to do.

A little later we discovered something else about the recipe besides a weight anomaly.

It didn't mention the required size of the container. Or or how much the mixture was likely to rise.

It rose...

Let's say more than we expected...

The fluted ceramic container used for baking this one makes it look like a Vesuvius cupcake; not quite a pyroclastic flow, but a lot of flow regardless.

Once it cooled we separated the sponge-cake from the escaped sponge in the same way as sculptors work with wood or marble - "Chip away everything that doesn't look like a cake" - and found that despite its misshapen looks, it tasted pretty good.

So today DD made another, this time using a larger container.

...and this time it stayed put until removed using the cunning base-and-lifting-straps of baking parchment.

It's not the loftiest or best-risen sponge cake either of us have ever seen (a smaller-diameter higher-sided container would probably deal with that) BUT if there's something needing sponge cake in a hurry - this went from cupboard ingredients to done and cooling in less than 55 minutes - that treatment seems to fit the bill.

We're now wondering what other secrets lurk in the simple recipe pages; falafel, quiche Lorraine, stuffed peppers, even Flammkuchen* from scratch.

(*Though I have my own views about Flammkuchen, mostly involving a plane flight...)

And we'll be paying a lot more attention to what size of dish we put them in. :->

[themuseinthewoods]

Incorrect Troy 2004 quotes because the generator gave me to much power. features y/n. in which everyone inexplicably talks to each other and gets along because I need to laugh, multiple different shipping of y/n x Troy charecters

Odysseus: So what’s the plan? Y/N: I don’t know. You’re smart, points at Achilles they’re mean, come up with something.

Y/N: sighs Paris: You bored? Y/N: Yeah. Paris: Wanna start drama for no reason? Y/N: I thought you’d never ask.

Patroclus: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like… a lawyer to you. Ok? Paris: Okay. later Hector: Paris! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble. Patroclus, whispering: Deny everything. Paris, loudly: That isn't a chair.

Y/N: So, Odysseus is late today. Anyone wanna bet why? Y/N: I say they slipped through the subway grate and is having terrible sex with the mole man. Paris: I don't know about that…I think either their alarm clock didn't go off, or they're in line at the bank. Hector: Take this more seriously! Odysseus was clearly taken in their sleep! Patroclus: I bet they tucked themselves into the bed too tightly and got stuck. Achilles: Maybe they fell into another dimension where they're more interesting…? Odysseus arrives Odysseus: Sorry I'm late - there was a problem at the bank. Paris, clapping their hands in excitement: HOT DAMN!

Hector: Y/N kissed me! Achilles: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Hector: It was unbelievable! Achilles: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Odysseus: Okay, we wanna hear everything. Achilles, get the wine and unplug the phone. Hector, does this end well or do we need tissues? Hector: Oh, it ended very well. Achilles: Do not start without me! Do not start without me! Odysseus: Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing? Hector: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it. Odysseus: Ohh… So, okay, were they holding you? Or were their hands on your back? Hector: First they started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair. Achilles and Odysseus: Ohhh. meanwhile Y/N eating pizza in their house: And, uh, and then I kissed them. Paris: Tongue? Y/N: Yeah. Patroclus: Cool.

Hector: Just be yourself. Achilles: Really? Hector, I have one day to win over Y/N’s parents. Achilles: How long did it take for you guys to like me? Odysseus: Couple of weeks. Patroclus: Six months. Paris: Jury’s still out. Achilles: See Hector? ‘Just be yourself,’ what kind of garbage advice is that?!

Y/N: Achilles is too tall for me to kiss them on the lips. What should I do? Hector: Punch them in the stomach. Then, when they double over in pain, kiss them. Paris: Tackle them! Patroclus: Dump them. Odysseus: Kick them in the shin! Achilles: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!

Odysseus: A mouse! Patroclus, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you. Hector, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal! Paris, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy. Achilles, gasping: It's Ratatouille! Y/N: His name is Remi, dummy. Odysseus: …I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window… what is wrong with you people.

Odysseus, driving and singing to the Little Einsteins theme song: We’re going on a trip- Y/N: In our favorite piece of shit! Patroclus: Doing 95! Achilles: We’re gonna fucking die!

Y/N: ARE YOU- Patroclus: Fucking. Y/N: KIDDING ME?! YOU- Patroclus: Fucking. Y/N: IDIOT! Achilles: …What was that? Patroclus: Odysseus banned Y/N from swearing, so I’m helping them out.

Hector: Where’s Achilles? Y/N: Around. Hector: Around? Hector: You don’t have any idea, do you? Achilles, dropping down from above: Did you know there’s a space above the ceiling?

Andromache, to Y/N: You drink too much, swear too much, and your morals are highly questionable. Y/N: … Andromache: You are everything I’ve ever wanted in a best friend.

Helen: You’re drunk. Y/N: Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar, Helen.

Y/N: I'm sorry. Please talk to me. Helen: Y/N: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure? Helen: 'Sorry' doesn't bring back my fucking M&Ms.

Y/N: Hey. Briseis: Hey? Y/N: I can't sleep. :/ Briseis: I can. Goodnight.

Helen: very seriously You need to stop doing weird things to cope with the stress. Going outside might help. Y/N: I went to the park today. Helen: There you go! I hope you got something from that. Y/N: opening their coat This duck.

Y/N: Oh, fiddlesticks. Andromache: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.

Patroclus: My favorite thing about big dogs is that when you push them over, they're all like "Oh, I'm lying down now! Someone might scratch my stomach! I might nap! Endless possibilities!" Y/N: …whereas, when you push little dogs over, they're all like, "Vengeance! Death before dishonor!"

Y/N: makes Achilles a cup of tea but puts salt in it Achilles: sips tea Y/N: Achilles: finishes tea Y/N: Didn't it taste bad? Achilles: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all. Y/N, tearing up: Oh, okay.

Y/N: Lol. Heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you’ll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this. Hector: What did you do Y/N? Y/N: a Mistake.

Andromache: What the hell is wrong with you? Y/N: I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than everyone else.

Y/N, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy. Patroclus: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.

Hector: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare. Patroclus: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great. Hector: Not when you’re playing with Odyessus, it’s not. They put words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”