#if this account does get deleted

[tothepointofinsanity]

[I have an urge to delete this account…not out of spite or hatred, but simply because I cannot tolerate being perceived by so many at the same time. It’s not exactly a big fuss - after all, this isn’t my first time disappearing completely from the radius of a fandom, with all of my posts inaccessible to a major extent. But since my things are reblogged so often, people can undoubtedly still see it. It’s so hard to explain my apprehension for it. A room full of strangers, occasionally looking in at your works, not even saying anything. Strangers. I’m fearful of strangers, not the acquaintances I met on this blog. It must sound so absurd and even cruel to say such things, even to myself. I appreciate everyone being so patient with me when I don’t deserve such positive treatment.]

[I do have two solid reasons to not delete this account just yet: I need to fulfill that initial quota of drawing a lot of Sayaka until the end of the year 2023. That was the only reason tttpoi even exists on Tumblr again; it was my New Year resolution! My gallery must be complete. Second reason is because all my Greener Grass Awaits stuff would be gone, and I really don’t want that.]

[miodiodavinci]

i saw that you used to hint at oc stuff on twitter (don't ask me why im digging im looking for zola stuff lmao) why don't you post more about them?

i am simply terrified that if i post oc things online someone will steal the concept and run with it faster and better than i ever could have and then i will be devastated forever and ever

more seriously i have very little to show for any of my oc things (adhd brain making life difficult as per usual awawawawawa) and every time i've shared oc things in the past i've ended up never following up on it and it makes me feel bad and guilty so i've just convinced myself i will Never talk about my ocs until i have something substantial i can put out there

[arttsuka]

I'm so sick of this

When I open the app it's:

But whenever I click in my ask box it becomes:

[brushbuddys]

tumblr just deleted my sideblog i just spent about an hour customizing? what the actual fuck

[papasmistakeria]

Hamish Linklater suddenly seeing a bunch of people drawing his character interact with an 8-bit pixelated blue stickman holding a cross from a video game he’s never even heard of:

[prinnamon]

it's incredibly funny and a little tragic to me that felix freeman's number 1 desire is for people to remember him--for his name to be spoken with reverence or gratitude or at the very least compassion well after he's gone--and his creator's number 1 desire when it comes to felix is probably for people to forget him and move on. erasing all traces of felix freeman from history is the absolute worst cruelty you could inflict on him. like i'm pretty sure that's the guy's greatest fear

[the-physicality]

what i need is a link to admin at the mercury and admin at the wnba. set me up a special account so i can see all the old videos from the old website. and get me a computer with all 19000+ minutes of dt games and a strong video editor. really i'd like all the old footage too.

[nervocat]

I want to delete my account.... disappear for a bit........ but I WON'T I WON'T I WON'T I PROMISE

[russilton]

Confession: sometimes I scroll back through George’a old twitter posts (he doesn’t have a lot it isn’t hard) to check he actually made the tweets I remember when I feel particularly insane about people on tumblr misinterpreting him

[marcsnuffy]

I need to come clean I'm actually kind of addicted to snatching URLs with canon names for some reason

[residentialsinyomakai]

Its so funny thinking about the different things people know me as in the yokai watch fandom. That one person who loves Babblong. The Roughraff guy. The one who drew way too much Casanuva at one point. The one with the goofy aus. One of the three (3) McKraken fans. Or when I used to be a Zote Hollow Knight/Captain Charlie Pikmin account (if you know me from those days DAMN)

[dunmertwink]

.

[devildarlindumbass]

ventposting time ig

breakdown cityyy

No idea when this started because I never do, constant thrum of actual fucking agony in the back of my brain so the moment I'm alone with nothing distracting to think about or dwell over I break the fuck down because that thin layer of "Not now, someone's here." And "Not now. We have this to worry about." Are the only things keeping me away from losing it lol

And luckily usually I have better things to be rationally stressed about or schedule for myself other than wallowing in some stupid fucking self pity but here we are regardless

But I noticed smthn funny, literally in the middle of actually crying for the first time in a bit my brain started, very clearly, the sentence: "I miss..." And then stopped. Because I have no one to miss. Anyone I've let go of or gotten rid of I've literally forced myself to hate so aggressively that I can't fathom missing them. Because I fucking hate them.

Anyone I am supposed to love right now I am constantly faking myself around so I couldn't even be honest if I tried. I think I just expect them to hate me regardless so I'm a fucking asshole to my friends if I'm close to them. Any moment they try and get an actual dig at my brain I'll immediately make a passive aggressive joke or comment or SOMETHING just because I think if they're gonna hate me, they aren't gonna hate me and know me.

"I know you really love me, you just joke rudely :)!" I really, really do. And I wish I fucking didn't. I'm practically pleading with you to hate me first so I can absolutely resent you.

I don't want to have people to miss. I don't want them to miss me either.

[loumauve]

I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.

(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)

[jlf23tumble]

I don't think Louis hates taylor, he's a grown ass adult. And yeah he gave sparky responses to harry getting asked about Taylor and he looked pissed off when she mentioned him in that speech but all that happened 13 years ago. Harry and Taylor seem friendly when in public and he always says positive things about her, why would Louis be different. I actually think they could be good friends, louis and taylor both give off don't fuck with me and tell me how to live my life and how to act and who to date and how to handle my career vibes. They both seem like complete opposites to their ex mr. people pleaser I love everyone and want everyone to love me. Louis should take Doris to one of her shows to shut them all up.

I'm hoping, praying, manifesting, whatever else it takes to see Louis with Doris in August (or whenever) at any TSwift show, I'm here for it on all the levels, and honestly, it doesn't seem laughable or impossible for reasons ranging from rando celeb sightings all over the damn place in her audience all the way to him not actively hating her like he's got an ao3 tab on the worst self-insert fic about "management" open from 13 years ago occupying whatever other myriad thoughts probably truly matter to him in his actual lived real life

[bonetrousledbones]

i think the worst part is that deleting all your art or something won't even help. not even deleting your account. all your stuff will still be here whether you want it to be or not