#if there was a character that I didn't like then this wouldn't be a problem

[chongoblog]

You mentioned in a post a while ago an RPG maker game that was so bad it inspired you to start a project that could execute some of its ideas better (iirc), I read the post and immediately recognized the game you were talking about. It's always occupied a weird space in my mind as an oddity of a game that didn't really have any reason to exist, so if you don't mind i'd love to hear more of your thoughts on it.

The project has been on hold (like my 132476 other projects) but yeah!

So first of all I won't be sharing the name of this game because I don't wanna send unnecessary hate its way. Like, making a game and putting it out there is huge, and I'd hate to send a bunch of negativity towards it, and if I find that one of my followers went to it and review-bombed it, then I hold more contempt for that person than the people who made this game.

That said, the crux of the game was you were controlling the main character of the game, but the main character was aware of the fact that you are controlling their actions and as communicating with you about what you need to do. Not a bad concept. I really liked it! The problem came with execution.

There's a lot of specific parts of it that I could point to, but it can really be summed up by the opening. The girl wakes up and does the standard "whoa! what? why did I stand up like this? I-I didn't do that!!" and then a text box appears and responds to her saying "yeah, that was me". Then when you try to leave the hospital, the mc says "wait a minute, maybe we should inspect These Three Spots first!" and then the game turns you around, followed by the text box responding "ugh...fine....".

There are two big problems here in my mind. First of all, this powerful idea of you controlling the main character and the main character being aware creates this sort of connection between the player and the main character (one that I think we'll see more of as Toby releases more of Deltarune, although this game came out a few years earlier), and the issue is that when the game itself gives the player dialogue, that really undercuts it. Like, later in the story, the player dialogue flirts with the mc, which is something I know I wouldn't do as a player. So it's not so much that you're a player controlling the main character who is aware, but you're a player controlling a ghost that is controlling the main character, and the main character is aware of the ghost, but the ghost is not the player.

The second big issue is a lot more understandable because you have to tell a story, but it's very silly to have the main character go "oh my god you have control over my every action!!" and then when you try to leave an area early, the main characters says "no don't do that yet" and then disallows you from leaving the area.

Just to gush about my ideas for this, my project idea was to make all verbal communication be one-way, while finding other ways to communicate. For example, when the main character first wakes up, they realize "oh shit I'm not controlling my body!!" and then he says "alright, well weird ghost controlling me...I don't know what to call you....so tell you what, walk me over to that desk. There's a pen and paper. Use my body to write your name" which determines the name on your file.

But here's the fun part. Let's say you decide "no, I'm not gonna do that". You can just walk out of the room. If you do, the main character just goes "um...okay? Fine then. I'm gonna call you 'Jerkface'" and the name on your file is "Jerkface", and he calls you Jerkface for the rest of the game. (And maybe if you go back, he goes "oh? what's the matter? don't like being called Jerkface? what? does that seem kinda rude? impolite maybe? almost as impolite as just TAKING CONTROL OF MY BODY WITHOUT TELLING ME YOUR NAME FIRST????")

Needless to say, I have a lot of ideas for this, I just need to execute them, and for all my complaints towards this game, I absolutely respect that they made it happen.

[thekirammanjinx]

Let's talk, this got long, addressing continued ignorance and misunderstanding of caitlyn and vi:

"Am I the only one who hates caitvi" no you're not, there's plenty of people with the same ignorant misunderstandings and virtue signaling ideologies. The same people who will spout false information and project their opinions onto the media vs taking the information the media is giving them and actively interpreting it.(that's not to say you can't be indifferent to caitvi. But all the hater are literally so dense and spout the same nonsense.)

"Who you have oppressed for decades" first of all CAITLYN didn't oppressor anyone. So saying she oppressed them is ignorant and a blatant lie. Caitlyn did not have any control or contributions.

Speaking on oppressors; silco and the chembarons have actively been oppressing and beating down their own people. Making zaun a thousand times more unlivable than when piltover did with vander. The firelights came to be because of silco and shimmer. Now, caitlyn did not gas an ENTIRE city. She targeted those afformented groups who have contributed to a downfall and hostile environment in zaun.

(lest we forget the council literally wanted a full scale assault on the entirety of zaun to aquire jinx. So even if caitlyn had done nothing zaun was doomed either way. War was looming if she did not act, you literally cannot talk about this without mentioning it, so the amount of people who choose to exclude this information to skew their "critical analysis")

Caitlyn didn't suddenly become empathetic because of vi. We see her being gentle with the jaw guy after he gets shot by jinx, she listens to vi before they even become more, yes she's apprehensive at the start but to say she changed because vi? Were you watching with your eyes closed and the TV on mute?

Saying that "these are her people" about vi. These are not her people. She actively hated silco and those aligned with him. Also she never was a freedom fighter for zaun. Idk where you got that. She just wanted a better life for HER and her FAMILY. Not to mention a tactical force to get chembarons off the streets isn't an act of oppression. That's a military action of snuffing out a drug cartel who are actively oppressing and harming the people of zaun.

(why are yall so in defense of the chembarons? Like yall truly don't give af about the people of zaun. We literally hear ekko say how bad the chembarons and shimmer have made zaun???)

"If the show didn't paint them good" you must be stupid if you thought the show was presenting it as good. The show is telling the story, it's giving a visual, just because it's there doesn't mean it's good. Or bad. Yes the show presents it as the BETTER option but it still shows how it is not 100% a morally good thing. But again you'd have to watch the show to see that wouldn't you??

(And again why are yall fighting for your lives trying to justify the chembarons existing and treating zaun like their own drug playing grounds.)

And to even say you like ambessa but not caitlyn & vi just feels embarrassing and you definitely missed the mark. People truly miss ambessa role in the entire season/series and it shows.

(i enjoy ambessa as a character but it's wild to see people try and tear down cait and or vi while praising ambessa in the same sentence. But this goes back to "we can handle evil characters but not good characters that do morally gray/bad things--which some of yall really need to have some introspection)

"Doing the wrong thing for the right reasons" there's literally a song IN THE SHOW with lyrics adjacent to this. No not verbatim, but it's basically right there. I'm convinced this person has not actually watched the show. There's no way. There is NO way.

"I'm not done with arcane" then idk, stfu and finish the damn show, if you feel the *narrative* is painting these actions as good that's a you problem. You do not know how to interpret the media in front of you. Because that's literally not what's happening.

Giving a character motives and reasons isn't justifying their actions or painting them as good. It's giving them a fleshed out story with emotions and said motives. Putting reason behind the actions. Not to mention this show is all about showing how people are complex, but you want to target caitlyn and vi for what?

Jinx targeted caitlyn literally because she was jealous and wanted vi to choose her over caitlyn. She wanted vi to shoot caitlyn. Caitlyn had personally done nothing to jinx. Jinx then killed 3 councilors, unprovoked.

So we can see how "targeting" a group of people for the actions of 1 is bad when it comes to caitlyn and vi, but we cannot say the same for jinx, or silco, or the likes??

(caitlyn strategically targeted chembarons and the shimmer cartel. Something ekko and the firelights were trying to do in s1. But everyone forgets that. Explaining and understanding what caitlyn did does not mean writing off her actions. But some of yall need to learn not to vilify her for doing what other characters wanted to do in the first place. She simply had the resources and means to do it. If a different character did it yall would not be so up in arms)

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Your most recent post about how you would(n’t) use Lila was interesting, because after I read how you’d handle a Chloe redemption I thought Lila would make a good counterpart to Chloe for Adrien, an object lesson about how some people can’t/don’t want to be redeemed.

Start out before or near the beginning of the redemption arc with Chloe as the bully with a long history of misdeeds to make up for, and Lila as (Adrien and the audience thinks) a nervous newcomer who told some lies for attention/popularity. Adrien might even think of her situation as Easy Mode or good practice for helping Chloe. Then time goes on, and as Chloe shows signs of improvement, Lila gradually reveals her true nature.

(Chloe post and Lila post for context)

I don't totally disagree. There are versions of canon where Lila and Chloe would be good choices for a nuanced discussion on redemption. For example, if canon was all about the teenage characters and had no adult villains, then Lila would be a great choice for damnation! The problem is that canon didn't take that route or really any route where Lila feels like a good addition to the cast, let alone someone worthy of being Chloe's counterpart in a lesson about the nuances of redemption.

The main plot of Miraculous should have been Gabriel's reveal and downfall. The point of Chloe's redemption should have been prepping Adrien for said reveal and downfall. Through her, Adrien first learns how to cut off someone you love and then learns how to decide if you want to bring that person back into your life. That is a full and complete lesson. Trying to repeat the lesson or supplement the lesson with Lila feels unnecessary for the same reason I don't like her as the new main villain: she's no one. A total rando with no close ties to Adrien or anyone else. Adrien wanting to help her is fine in theory, but hard to see as a valuable addition because she doesn't matter to his character. We have his father, his close childhood friend, and a random girl he barely knows. One of these things is not like the other. That lack of depth removes most or even all of the emotional impact that a failed Lila redemption would have on Adrien. It's not going to have much of an impact on the audience either unless you make some serious changes to Lila.

One of the show's biggest flaws is that Lila is not a functional character. She has no clear motivations, backstory, or even a strong tie to the main plot of seasons one to five, making it hard to care about her. To have her damnation have any sort of emotional impact on the audience, you need to give her those things and have her develop actual relationships. Without that depth, she's an incredibly weak addition to the story who is only here to be a two-dimensional villain. The audience doesn't want her to be redeemed. We want to see her go down! Those are the wrong emotions for a lesson on failed redemption. Failed redemption should be a tragedy if you want the lesson to hit properly. It's easy to give up on people we don't really care about. It's hard to give up on people we love.

Add in the facts that Miraculous already has too many characters and that Chloe's redemption would be a subplot amidst everything else that's going on and I just don't see Lila being worth the screen time it would take to let her have a proper damnation when you're already giving Gabriel a damnation. Plus it's kind of depressing to have one redemption against two damnations and I like to keep the sad elements limited so that they really pop. Damning Lila and then Gabriel would make Gabriel's damnation feel less powerful.

Even if the plan was to redeem Gabriel, I still wouldn't use Lila as our damnation case study. I'd use Nathalie. She's far more interesting and has an actual tie to the overall plot, making her super easy to involve. Her and Gabriel share the screen constantly, making it very easy to contrast them as the story goes on. You can't really do that with Lila and Chloe because Lila and Chloe would never team up in a story where Chloe gets a redemption arc. Canon had to add Chloe's Marinette obsession to make the Lila & Chloe plot work and Chloe's redemption doesn't work if she hates Marinette to that extreme. I don't think that version of Chloe is beyond redemption, but I would never redeem her into Marinette's friend group. Seasons-four-and-five Chloe needs a fresh start with people she hasn't hurt. I don't know if she could ever be friends with Marinette and I don't particularly care to see it.

I love a good redemption, but part of writing those is knowing that there are lines that a character can't cross if you want them to be forgiven and accepted by your core cast later on. It's that whole romanticizing the cycle of abuse thing that I've discussed before re enemies-to-lovers stories and the general concept of redeeming Gabriel. I get why people like it, it's a wonderful fantasy, but for me it's an incredibly hard sell. My suspension of disbelief almost always breaks, leaving me feeling sad and unsatisfied.

[cpvnksabm]

@ rtc fic writers

you really do have to research neuromuscular disabilities if ricky significantly appears in your fics. few to no exceptions. sorry.

ricky potts is important disability representation and, more specifically, he has a rare degenerative neuromuscular disease. this specific representation is important and therefore it's important to depict his neuromuscular disorder accurately. all disabilities are different and it's a huge problem when people, not understanding and/or not wanting to research neuromuscular disorders specifically, just give him any disability while erasing the one he canonically has, and think it's fine just because "well he's still disabled isn't he?".

i think canon (as in 2015-2018 scripts) is a good starting reference point for depicting ricky accurately because again, the specific disability he has in canon is important to represent. but canon also only seriously depicts him as disabled very briefly on-stage and spends most of the musical doing singing and dancing that he wouldn't be physically capable of if he was alive. if you're depicting ricky realistically for longer than canon does then you will have to do outside research to see how his disability would likely impact him, because you're definitely not getting a full picture from him using crutches for 2 minutes onstage.

i think sometimes people assume they don't have to worry about researching to write ricky, because they don't think he's a major enough character for his disability to become relevant - or, more upsettingly, i think sometimes people make ricky a more minor character so that his disability won't become relevant, because that way they don't have to do research.

unfortunately there's one big issue here, which is that if you haven't done the research, how can you know when his disability will be relevant?

ricky has a complex disability that would realistically affect his whole life in varying ways and what we see in canon is only a surface level view. let's say you're writing a fic where you don't need to bother researching for ricky because his only appearance is going out for lunch with the choir - did you know that neuromuscular disorders, especially ones that cause difficulty speaking or an inability to speak (which ricky has!), often cause difficulty swallowing? this would affect his diet and in fact potentially imply that he uses a feeding tube (which is also implied by one of ocean's lines in WTWN), making it very relevant when getting lunch with the choir!

of course that lunch idea is just a hypothetical example, and it's just one example. what i'm saying here is that there are many activities that seem simple, that you wouldn't even think twice about in relation to ricky, that would realistically be complicated by his disability.

of course not every fic has to tackle disability in detail, or even has time to do so, but it's noticeable when something happens where ricky's disability would impact him and it just isn't mentioned. it's something that can accidentally slide into disability erasure, which is a problem, and it also just makes it really obvious when the writer wasn't aware of something or didn't think very hard about it. heck this post is mainly directed at fic writers but i've even seen headcanon posts where it's been obvious the OP needed to do a little more research.

so basically, when i say you need to research to write ricky accurately & understand his disability, i don't just mean that if you're planning on writing a fic that significantly involves his disability you should research for that fic specifically. i think that you should do some basic research before you plan on writing anything, just to make sure you understand his disability when you're active in the fandom. and then if his disability becomes more relevant in a fic - which you will be able to recognise due to the basic research you've already done - you can do more research as needed.

besides, even if it turns out you never write anything where this is relevant, there's no harm in learning more about neuromuscular disease and disability in general! it might become useful information in real life at some point, or it might just be good to know.

[ii-darkfic-confessions]

I think Test Tube darkfics have alot of potential, the problem is that most of them always fall under the same tropes and same story beats, always the same victims, making them all feel the same.

It can be so much more, like: What if she specifically choosed to do experiments on the contestants she personally dislikes (Mic) or doesn't have any emotional connection with (Most of the season 1 cast).

What if she tried to cure one of her friends of an illness but ended up making things worse, to the point where she becomes so desperate she tries everything she can to solve it, even if it would break her morals.

What if she was secretly working with Cobs.

There's alot you can do with a character like Test Tube.

Tldr: please let my girl go through the horrors.

You summarized it very well! The main issue is definitely the fact that almost every Test Tube darkfic follows that pattern. I appreciate the fact you brought up Test Tube working with Cobs, by the way, because apparently that was a theory floating around the fandom a while back (though I didn't watch ii myself at the time so I wouldn't know for certain).

[ragingtabbycat]

I watched Jentry Chau vs the Underworld recently; Kit and Jentry's relationship is relatable and compling in a way few fictional romances are to me as an Aromantic person.

They way Kit doesn't see Jentry's desire for normalcy as a 'valid' reason for not wanting a relationship and seeks to 'fix' that. He takes rejection as a personal attack and a slight on his character. He shows himself to only think of Jentry as an object of his affections, even if it is subconsciously, and not accept his rejection. After his rejection he in a way 'proves' himself as a someone who would make a bad partner, cause he doesn't allow compassion or empathy for Jentry to get in the way of his own desire. She might have complex reasons for rejecting Kit, but then he showed that even without those reasons their relationship would be doomed.

When I am forced to reject someone as an aromantic person, and they keep pursuing me romantically, that leaves a sour taste in my mouth. They show me that they lack the care or respect for me outside of them that would make a relationship work. If I was allo, I wouldn't want to date them because they haven't taken the time to understand me and respect my emotions.

This explicitly romantic relationship between two people who experience at least some level of romantic attraction has represented some of my aro experiences in a way I didn't think was possible.

Also seeing how the fandom reacts feels a lot like seeing how people irl react when I complain of similar problems. Not in a good way. Shout out to that one co-worker who jokingly calls one of my friends 'my boyfriend' after I was complaining about him repeatedly, knowingly stepping over my romantic boundaries.

[faust-terrorsofthenight]

nooo I can’t choose! I’m too attached to them ;-;

[sysig]

Coding woes (Patreon)

[true-blue-sonic]

in a both espilver and sonilver type world, do you think either would compete for silver’s affection or would honorably step down for the sake of his happiness

As in, the both of them would want to start a relationship with Silver? I think Sonic and Espio alike are people who would want Silver to make the choice he is happiest with. That's what loving someone also entails, after all🍀 And in that case, I don't think the one Silver does not choose will be sad about it for that long. But whatever Silver's choice is, I think he'll still be close friends with the other one as well!

(Right now, deep in my heart, Silver's choice is Espio, and with Sonic he then forms an incredibly close bond that isn't romantic in nature the way it is between Silver and Espio, but that still transcends time and space and never falters. And I think Espio would be fine with giving Silver the space for that; how I see Sonic is that he just is a person who forms such bonds with people, because he's so kindhearted and inspirational. But I am still extensively thinking this all over, haha!)

[spinnysocks]

kiburi x ushari but specifically doomed kiburi x ushari. more than anyone else in the army they believe with full sincerity that scar's plan HAS to work because they can't succeed without him

[lovscb97]

Your nerd!Chan story is awfully similar to @/p4ranormaluv story bed chem 🤨

gasp! no way!! the concept of nerds x cheerleader being done before? not just in popular media but also fanfiction?? how could it ever be!!!

[shoechoe]

lol at billy west's statement on why he didn't voice stimpy for the adult party cartoon

[smile-files]

i continue to find ii3 baffling. why did they make it (this isn't to hate on the season, i'm genuinely curious)

[kyeterna]

re:zero sketch compilation because i wanted to see how some designs would look in my style (guess who my favourite characters are)

[kneworder]

did you watch tua s4 and if so what did you think :3

yeah i watched it

[astarab1aze]

➥ The Devilliers

so, something i mention but don't really dig into is the time between loux going into the fostercare system leading up to the full and complete commitment to his life as a criminal - and how important his foster family actually was to him when he was separated from his sisters.

to start, we'll list off his foster family members:

silvère devilliers ; grandfather (deceased)

letha devilliers ; grandmother (deceased)

jackie devilliers ; mother

beau devilliers ; father

fleur lalonde ; aunt

antonetta lalonde ; cousin

absalon lalonde ; cousin

most of the family lived in the town known as monroe, sister to altus but furthest from belle's hollow,

of all his foster family, he was closest to letha and silvère, who really had guardianship over him in the first place. old black folks who resolved themselves to care for wayward boys like loux. they were retired, genuinely good people, and they gave him the best love and care he could've ever asked for when he needed it the most. they were both very patient with him, despite how much trouble he got himself into, despite how much he caused, how many days of school he missed, how bad his grades got, the number of times they caught him smoking or high, and especially in spite of what jackie and beau had to say about him. in a sense, they understood perfectly where loux's heart was and had always been, and were the only people in his life to have ever figured it out; sometimes, a spade is just a spade, no matter what it's made of. rather, they accepted that there would be no controlling him, which wasn't their goal in the first place - merely to love a boy who could not love himself.

it sounds a bit like they were enablers, but i assure you, they most certainly were not ; much of loux's childhood and adolescence was very touch and go, thanks to dual puberties and his decision to go full-bore into the underground, but they never just let him get away with anything ( getting into the specifics of what they tried to do on a day-to-day would make this already long post even longer ), though some of their ( relative ) inaction had a hand to play.

anyway; he was lucky to have been placed into their care, as there simply weren't any shifter homes on the docket ( it's effectively legally considered attempted murder to try to place a shapeshifter in a vampire or were- household ; shifters are a favorite source of nutrition for vampires and weres are notoriously territorial even with each other ; all of this often means that shifters end up falling through the cracks anyway ). it was by the skin of his teeth letha & silvère devilliers applied when they had, and while they might not have been the same particular base breed he was ( both of the skunk variety ), they most definitely treated him as one of their very own. he was loved by letha and silvère, as if he were related to them by blood, the both of them endlessly impressed by how advanced his magic was at so young an age, his resourcefulness, his capability, his intelligence, how quick-witted he was - they adored him. they took pity on him and took him home, gave him a place to comfortably rest his head, a home to return to when he was tired and afraid, a place to be a child while he still had the chance.

but loux was always decisive and devious; in more ways than one, he'd already made a certain choice that would alter his life irreparably, and such was the choice to covet power. he cried for a day, when his parents died, and it would more or less be the last time before he set his childish plans in motion. all he needed was a place to sleep, and someone to pet his hair until his achy, feverish shifter body finally shut down. he never expected to love the devilliers, too. he never factored in how much they'd end up meaning to him, thinking of them when he'd make his worst decisions, wander into the underground in search of...something that would start him properly down the path. the fastest way to reach his goal wasn't school but experience and a willingness to do everything it took, including selling his soul for just a chance to bring his parents back. and he killed himself every day for it.

in his early teen years, when he first really dipped his toes into the underground proper, witnessing death and untold misery, he was hit with blasts of ice in a run-in with deadeye and his crew, whose thugs dumped his unconcious body at the edge of the mirewood, the expansive swamp between monroe and belle's hollow. he was found by mauszan clerics, but in all the uncertainty and all the commotion, silvère fell ill; hysterical with worry that loux, a boy he and letha had been trying so hard to adopt while he threw his life away so he'd have something to come back to when all his fighting was done - suffered a heart attack that ultimately killed him in the days following. loux was in a grave condition of his own, barely clinging to life as ice burned its way through his body, afflicting him with enfeebling ice-sickness, lost in a coma, which did absolutely nothing to help matters within the family. all distraught and beside themselves, the devilliers began to fall apart, and nearly all of them blamed loux for it in some fashion or another - the way they treated him changed, how they talked about him changed, but the only person who didn't blame him, who put it on 'the way of things', who perhaps babied him a smidge because she was terrified he'd die too, was letha.

misplaced though it was.

when he woke from his coma, it was jackie and beau who broke the news of silv's heart attack and subsequent passing - they made no effort to hide their personal feelings toward him, going so far as to fight with him the same day he was released from the bloodweaver's. at the time, he was disoriented and confused, so it didn't quite set in that maybe, perhaps he'd been the catalyst after all - silv wouldn't have had his heart attack if loux could keep himself out of trouble for five godsdamned minutes. but in the aftermath, he started to drift away from the family, from everyone but letha, silv's death acting as a tipping point for him. he couldn't deal with the truth, not properly, and ultimately rejected it, stepping further and further into the underground - committing more of himself to learning more and becoming worse. doubling down led him down a much darker path, then, and the troubles with deadeye began in full.

loux was a scrapper & drug mule for deadeye's competition, when he first dipped his toes into the underground following silv's death, meaning he fought and committed crimes for rival gangs, small-time or not.

because of loux's renewed and dogged persistence, deadeye felt the need to send a particular message - you and everyone you love will die if you continue to work against me. this did nothing but stoke an already high-burning flame within him, tweaking achy nerves and urging him to make foolish decisions, like stealing from deadeye. it wasn't enough to have loux beaten to the brink of death the first or second time, he had to make his message clear and unavoidable. so, he put a tail on loux and had his every waking moment stalked and recorded - who his family was ( meaning the devilliers; lucienne and leonie were unknowns and carefully kept secret ), who his friends were, what he ate for breakfast, when letha would do her shopping, etc. all to blindside loux and make the message ring loud and clear. and one day, when loux had left the underground and was making his way home, deadeye dispatched a handful of his goons and had letha murdered in her home - but loux was quick in his return and found them hovering over letha's body, having just ripped her to pieces. he set them on fire one by one, instinct kicking in and guiding his actions, and exposed those flames to high-oxygen, causing them to pop like balloons and explode like grenades, painting letha's home with the guts and gore of the people who killed her.

letha's death is what drove home the fact that loux is, in fact, at fault for everything that letha and silv had suffered, from economic frustration to their deaths, but he was in far too deep to ever find a way out of the hole he'd dug himself. it is his fault they're dead, the only two people in the world who loved him for him, unconditionally and without reproach. he may as well have killed them with his own two hands. it would've been easier on them, less violent, a subtle poison in their morning coffee, slipping away in their afternoon naps-- it would've been easier and better if it'd just been him; and when the sorciers came, he lied. everyone lied. jackie, beau, and antonetta all lied to keep him from being taken to the triangulary ( where he would've been stripped of his magic, tortured and experimented on until he died, then magically super-glued to a flesh-warden's body ). but they lied so he would feel worse, so the guilt would weigh on his conscience forever, and they would each and all turn their back on him from then on.

the guilt ate him alive and though he didn't try as hard as he should've, he was now left with no option but to put the final nail in the coffin and let it all go. he could never live a normal life, he had to accept the consequences of his choices and actions, and that meant taking the final step and becoming who he is now. ruthless, unforgiving, distrusting, murderous, careful, scheming, just bastard enough to outwit the likes of deadeye ( who, while understated, he loathes immensely ). he became deadeye's biggest competition, cutting into his most lucrative profits, stealing from him, killing swaths of his goons just for happening to cross his path, sending oh so many messages of his own. in just under two years, he became such a problem for deadeye that he paid off a group of weres to kill him while he was staying at the packhouse. obviously, they didn't succeed, but there were enough of them that he was caught by surprise again and overpowered - they came very close to killing him, but just his will to live alone proved enough to save himself ( his flame really helped ).

at the time of silv's death, he was 13. at the time of letha's, he was 16. at the time of his departure from the family et al, he was 17. when deadeye tried to have him killed, he was 19.

ultimately, he spent nine years with the devilliers, and was both directly and indirectly responsible for everything that happened to them. he was and is the problem, every bit as much as he is a victim, and everything he does is a not-so-veiled attempt to protect himself and others from him. he cannot shake the guilt he feels, but he's grown so used to it, it slowly burns away at him, everpresent but nameless, now. it has all irreparably damaged how he sees and interacts with other people, how he sees relationships of any and all kinds be they romantic, professional, friendly, etc. he refuses to form attachments if he can avoid it ( however untrue that seems to be at present ). he lies, hides, denies, omits information, ghosts, shrouding himself in a happy-go-lucky sort of disingenuousness to prevent himself from being known, understood, loved, from ever feeling all that pain again. if he doesn't care, it's easier. if he has no attachments, he won't miss anyone and no one will miss him. no mourning, no grief, no pain, no nothing. it's better this way. it's fine this way. he has shit to do anyway. a family to save, a star to find. fuck everything else.

needless to say, the devilliers meant a lot to him, even if he doesn't necessarily have the words to express why and what he felt, or realize just how much they influenced some of his choices. he was always going to be a criminal, taking shortcuts and resolving himself to delusional undertakings because the ends justify the means, and he's already made up his mind - but he took everything he learned from the devilliers and applied all of it to how he lives his live in tandem.

individual relationships with listed foster family members, in order of importance and closeness;

⸻letha... retired nurse; she is the one he misses and loves the most, genuinely so. she spent the most time with him, got to know him inside and out, figured out what made him tick and how badly he just wanted to be loved. she couldn't make him see it, but she would love him no matter who he chose to be, and she would protect, nurture, care for, and discipline him when he needed it most. they were two peas in pod, singing songs and telling stories, practicing magic and shifting when things got especially bad. he was her boy just as she was his gran, and he respected her, listened to her best, feared her disappointment, her rejection of him. he wanted her to be proud of him, and she was, she was... she taught him how to sew, how to cook, how to brew potions, what to do when he needed to discharge magic, how to speak creole and sunjatti, and so much more; were it not for her, he wouldn't be half as resourceful as he is now.

⸻silvère... retired sorcier; they had a tense relationship, but loux didn't love him any less. they had a sort of...understanding. silv knew early on loux was gonna cause a world of trouble, and came around to the same realization letha had - that all they could do for a boy like him was love him, whatever form that had to take. he gave him tough love, a stiff upper lip, stoicism, courage, flights as herons above the mire, dances with water moccasins in the swamps, death rolls with alligators-- in a few ways, silv taught loux how to be a man, and how to be a shifter, how to appreciate both aspects of himself and to never let anyone break his spirit ( just put it to better use! ). he played a pretty big role in loux's education as well, often pushing him to learn new things, to master them, to do and be the best he possibly can - he had the decency to help with difficult subjects, shapeshifting, birds & bees, etcs.

⸻fleur... runs a clothing store in altus; auntie fleur, ant fannie, fluflu, fluff queen, vanity in bright colors and deceptive sass. he liked her spirit, her individuality, her unwillingness to tolerate bullshit. very shrewd business woman, and on days it was her turn to deal with the family's biggest problem child, she'd let him sit in and watch her work her magic. he picked up on a lot of her energy, her exuberance and persistence, charisma and body language, committing a bit of it to memory. he learned how to bookkeep from her and she was a hardass about it. if he was gonna hang around, he was gonna get put to work. good thing, too, idle hands and all. he liked her a lot. their relationship was like any aunt-nephew relationship otherwise, something, well, normal about it.

⸻absalon... kind of a douche, studying douche physics at douche college - but loux never had any particularly strong feelings for or against him. they were bros at times and enemies at others. they were never close, even when they played together as kids. they shared remarkably few interests. any conversation beyond blahblah small talk was something loux found horrifically drab. much as he liked certain sports, talking about them was just boring. talking about anything with absalon was boring, and he had a slight ' i'm better than you cos i don't cause problems ' air about him. not a bad guy, just.... blah.

⸻antonetta... he wouldn't have pissed on her if she were on fire. next. they had a very intense aversion to one another that oscillated between cold shoulders, silent treatments, screaming matches, and outright fistfights. part of the reason they butt heads so much is because of how similar they are - both big personalities with a penchant for causing big trouble, both lashing out like wildlings in an effort to be seen, heard, and understood, being too selfish and starved for attention to give each other a few minutes in the spotlight. antonetta felt like she had to compete for letha and silv's affections, so she took it out on loux, and loux ain't a fucking rat so he never tattled ( her losing out on some minutes of fame was just a bonus to adhering to his wayward principles ).

⸻beau... he didn't hate beau at first, but the more time he spent around him and jackie, the more convinced he was that there would never be a positive bond between them. he ignored him, for the most part, but they'd always end up in verbal fistfights over some sideways comment. blah. indifferent if a little annoyed towards him. beau was a blowhard, had his head shoved up his ass and a sense of humor that dragged. just wasn't a fun person to be around.

⸻jackie... he misses the fight - the screaming matches, nearly coming to blows from how intense their fighting would get, throwing fire and lightning at each other - but not her specifically. at all ( maybe the teeniest of hints, but still just for the fight ). they didn't have a good relationship. in fact, jackie hated him and with good reason, sure, but she was constantly calling for sorciers, evoking death, blaming him for every little thing that went wrong, demanding letha & silv give him back to the state. he would sell her ass to sanguinach himself for half a potato.