#if the numbers are wrong then that's why lol
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gifsbysimplysonia · 2 days ago
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It truly breaks my heart how hard you can SEE Anakin takes the critique from Obi Wan. Especially after he thinks he has accomplished something to be genuinely proud of 😫 Big brother going in hard when little brother just wants him to be proud of him, so he gets to be the best - objectively speaking and I get his thinking cuz at work I always had the best numbers but was still told I wasn't a model employee - only to be told by the man on a pedestal that there's still something not quite right.
Hayden is quite amazing at making sure all of Anakin’s emotions are right there for us to see and feel and in my case here, empathize with (which worries me? Lol should I be able to empathize with the person who becomes one of the major villains of a galaxy?). Kudos to Hayden, I really don't get how people could criticize him in the way I read they did when RotS released.
Like how BLATANTLY WRONG can people be? That's why seeing how loved he is now and reading how he's constantly got the longest lines at cons (and they WAY over book him) is so lovely to read about. Shame it took so long but I'll take better late than never in this case
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OBI-WAN KENOBI | PART V (2022)
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weemietime · 1 day ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/weemietime/767670429687152640?source=share
I suppose it was easy for me to fall into the Hamasnik trap due to my habit of black and white thinking, which I wish I could blame on my autism, my ocd, or my horrible mental state, but I’m just incredibly stupid lol. But yeah, I was very much a hamasnik myself.
For some reason my mind refused to accept or recognise the nuance of a history that I wasn't even well versed on in the first place. I also think that the constant reductionism presented to me played a part. There’s a lot of reductionism that goes on within the Hamasnik circles, and it goes hand in hand with anti intellectualism. Statements like “this isn’t complex! How can you see these videos of these Palestinian children (videos that I later found out were actually from Syria, but I couldn’t tell, I just ate it up) and think that Israel/Palestine is complex!”
The whole thing of blocking everyone who has a different opinion or ideology (the ideology in question being Zionism, or at least what hamasniks consider to be Zionism) from you and refusing to follow certain news channels because they’ve shown sympathy for those who have a different ideology from you, refusing to read certain books from authors who have expressed empathy for those same people, all of this together effectively creates an echo chamber of the same opinions and views being regurgitated over and over and over again constantly.
Then sprinkle in constant videos of people dying and blood everywhere, videos that you don’t even know where the people are from, whether they be from Gaza, from Syria, Lebanon, or Yemen, but it doesn’t matter because they speak Arabic so it MUST be about the Gazans specifically according to the Hamasnik group you’re apart of, all of these videos you’re being told to constantly watch over and over again because according to the Hamasnik cult you’re in, “if you look away from the violence even ONCE, you’re complicit in genocide! You’re personally responsible for genocide if you look away! The people in Gaza never get a mental health break or comfort so why should you?”
That very same rhetoric is the reason why a lot of you Jewish people can’t find yourself able to escape on fandom spaces and shit like that, the antisemitism you encounter in spaces you thought you were safe in? Yeah it’s because these people are being told that they have to constantly talk about what’s going on in every single space they’re in and that they can’t look away because if they do, they’re considered complicit in the killing of Gazans so they have to let everyone else know the same.
There are a lot of people who are purposefully antisemitic, don’t get me wrong, this isn’t me excusing anyone. I’m just saying that a number of these people genuinely believe that they’re doing something for the greater good by constantly being antisemitic. They don’t consider themselves antisemitic because the echo chamber they’re in has convinced them that Jewish people aren’t experiencing anything, that Jewish people are fine. That it’s the “big bad” that they’re hurting, not the Jews. It’s the “big and scary Zionists!” At least that’s what happened in my case. Constantly told that if I took a break even once, the blood of the Gazans, the blood of every. single. person in Gaza, would be on my own two hands.
You might not believe me, but when you’ve trapped a person in an echo chamber like that, it’s very easy to convince them that an entire country is evil, that every single Israeli is wicked and corrupt and should die and that anyone who expresses an ounce of empathy for them is a “Zionist” and should die as well.
You could’ve told me anything a few months ago. Absolutely anything bad about Israelis and I would’ve believed you. Because I’d scroll social media and see videos of children dying, people being beaten, buildings being destroyed, everything. Then I’d scroll some more and see videos of Israelis doing everyday things, videos of people having fun, videos of people eating, etc, and I found it so unfair that they (according to hamasnik rhetoric) were living in absolute peace while Palestinians are dying right next to them. Then I’d scroll some more and see videos of the IDF (I actually don’t even know if the videos were even of the IDF or not, but as I said, you could’ve told me anything and I’d have believed you. I genuinely believed that it was the IDF) shooting people, beating people, etc. And I was told to look at these videos everyday, every hour, every minute, every second. A lot of the Hamasnik mouthpieces take advantage of the average westerner’s inability to understand Arabic or Hebrew, so there’s a lot of mistranslated videos of Israelis saying they want every Arab dead, a lot of mistranslated Al Jazeera videos of people in Amsterdam for example, saying “يهودي قذر" (dirty Jew) with the wrong captions on and then us non Arabic speaking cult trapped people are none the wiser to what that means because we refuse to engage with any sources that won’t fit our narrative, because we’re complicit in death if we step outside the narrative.
I don’t believe that Zionists should die, but I did. I don’t believe that the hostages should suffer, but I did. I truly believed the worst of things, and perpetuated horrible antisemitism, because I genuinely believed that I was doing good. I found myself justifying unspeakable acts, and saying unspeakable things, things that I would have whole heartedly condemned prior, because I genuinely thought I was doing something right. For example, prior to me falling into that cultish trap, I would’ve wholeheartedly condemned saying a slur coined by David fucking Duke. But after? As I said, I was doing and saying unspeakable things.
I would watch videos from Hamasniks everyday, perpetuate antisemitism everyday, go to sleep and dream about that stuff, and wake up and do it all again, first thing in the morning. A vicious cycle.
And unknowingly somewhere else around the world, some Jewish or Israeli person would wake up, witness antisemitism everyday, witness people wishing the worst upon the hostages, the Jews, the Israelis, the Zionists, everyday, go to sleep terrified for what’s happening to their people, and wake up and see it all again first thing in the morning. Another vicious cycle.
I wish I had a better answer for you, I do. An answer that’s more digestible and less disturbing. I wish I could undo everything that I’ve said and done to the people I’ve hurt whether that be in real life or online. I truly am sorry, and I wish that an apology would fix everything, but it won’t. I wish that all the pain I inflicted on all the Jewish people and Israeli people could be taken away and that I would feel that pain tenfold.
If it’s any consolation or solace, I hate myself more than any of you combined. There is nobody who hates me more than me at this current moment in time and I absolutely do deserve every ounce of pain inflicted upon me, whether it be mental or physical. If you wish death upon me, just know that I do agree with you, but unfortunately previous attempts have failed.
I deleted all of my old posts from that period of time to avoid people getting hurt by them anymore, but I think I’ve done too much damage for me to be a good ally, so I just say nothing now, but I truly do wish the best for all of you and I wish that all of this would stop and that the hostages will be found, hopefully alive.
My apologies for writing a whole Bible in your asks, I truly didn’t mean to.
TLDR - reductionism and anti-intellectualism combined with trapping yourself in an echo chamber of regurgitated rhetoric and constantly regurgitating said rhetoric is a quick way to find yourself dabbling in extremism.
To avoid falling into a trap such as this, avoid generalisations of races, ethnic groups, and the like, look for nuance, try hear people out even when you don’t understand them, instead of blocking them (this is in reference to me blocking every single person who opposed my hamasnik ideology at the time. You should probably block hamasniks, they tend to harass Jewish people a lot), and remember that if someone tells you that a whole war isn’t complex, they’re lying. It absolutely is.
I hope you've been able to see the other responses your other ask has gotten as well! Truly, you aren't someone who I hate. Personally, I do forgive you. Other people may not, and that's their right. But I know first-hand what it's like to be radicalized and to not only commit to extreme rhetoric but also extreme actions. I've learned to have compassion for myself, and I hope that with time you will undergo a similar process.
Someone else said it, "you can't hate yourself into being a better person." All of us, as beings, grow with love and kindness. War is hard it's horrific, and hellish. You're constantly exposed to this violent imagery, this extreme rhetoric, and your whole friend groups are getting in on it. I understand exactly how it happens, and I do have sympathy for it.
To me, the most important part of your story isn't the worst shit you've ever done. It's this part. The part where you learn how to be better, and so you do better, and reach out across the divides and bridge those gaps that have formed. That is a very human story.
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thatgirlwithasquid · 9 months ago
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Stranger Things F/F Pairings AO3 Ranking
This time last year I did my rankings of the teen F/F pairings for stranger things as of number of ao3 fics. I figured seeing the difference from 1 year (and a day, whoops!) would also be interesting.
These numbers are as of 5th March 2024
1. Robin Buckley/Nancy Wheeler with 8,461 works
2. Robin Buckley/Vickie with 1,034 works
3. Robin Buckley/Chrissy Cunningham with 609 works
4. Robin Buckley/Heather Holloway with 245 works
5. Barbara “Barb” Holland/Nancy Wheeler with 135 works
6. Chrissy Cunningham/Nancy Wheeler with 78 works
7. Robin Buckley/Barbara “Barb” Holland with 66 works
8. Kali Prasad**/Nancy Wheeler with 51 works
9. Robin Buckley/Kali Prasad with 50 works
10. Chrissy Cunningham/Heather Holloway with 32 works || Robin Buckley/Carol Perkins with 32 works || Robin Buckley/Tammy Thompson** with 32 works
13. Chrissy Cunningham/Vickie with 15 works
14. Carol Perkins/Nancy Wheeler with 13 works || Chrissy Cunningham/Barbara “Barb” Holland with 13 works
16. Robin Buckley/Vicki Carmichael** with 10 works
17. Eden Bingham/Robin Buckley with 9 works
18. Chrissy Cunningham/Carol Perkins with 7 works
19. Eden Bingham/Chrissy Cunningham with 6 works || Eden Bingham/Nancy Wheeler with 6 works || Heather Holloway/Nancy Wheeler with 6 works
22. Vickie/Nancy Wheeler with 4 works || Eden Bingham/Kali Prasad with 4 works
24. Barbara “Barb” Holland/Heather Holloway with 3 works || Chrissy Cunningham/Tammy Thompson with 3 works
26. Barbara “Barb” Holland/Carol Perkins with 2 works || Chrissy Cunningham/Kali Prasad with 2 works || Barbara “Barb” Holland/Kali Prasad with 2 works
29. Nancy Wheeler/Tina** with 1 work* || Heather Holloway/Vickie with 1 work || Heather Holloway/Carol Perkins with 1 work || Carol Perkins/Tina with 1 work || Chrissy Cunningham/Tina with 1 work || Barbara “Barb” Holland/Vickie with 1 work || Heather Holloway/Kali Prasad with 1 work || Carol Perkins/Kali Prasad with 1 work
*for some reason, the Nancy Wheeler/Tina tag has been made synonymous with Nancy Wheeler/Original Female Character(s). I assume this is a mistake with tag wrangling, but it means I cannot link to their tag. However, there is one work tagged Nancy Wheeler/Tina and I have linked to that instead.
**Kali Prasad, Vicki Carmichael, Tammy Thompson and Tina have now been added to the rankings, I had forgotten to include them in my last lists. This will skew the comparisons, as I am comparing with my ranking from last year. Feel free to let me know if I missed anyone else who should be added!
Compared to last year... (see 2023 rankings)
the top 5 remain in the same ranking position
the largest increase in number of fics is: ronance, with 3,541 new works
the 2nd largest increase in number of fics is: bandcheer, with 340 new works
the largest increase in ranking is: cunningway, with an increase of 2 places
the 2nd largest increase in ranking is: pompompistol, with an increase of 1 place
Pairings with no ao3 tag:
Vicki Carmichael/Tina, Nancy Wheeler/Vicki Carmichael, Vickie/Eden Bingham, Vickie/Tina, Vickie/Vicki Carmichael, Heather Holloway/Eden Bingham, Heather Holloway/Tina, Heather Holloway/Vicki Carmichael, Eden Bingham/Tina, Eden Bingham/Vicki Carmichael, Carol Perkins/Vickie, Carol Perkins/Eden Bingham, Carol Perkins/Vicki Carmichael, Chrissy Cunningham/Vicki Carmichael, Barbara “Barb” Holland/Eden Bingham, Barbara “Barb” Holland/Tina, Barbara “Barb” Holland/Vicki Carmichael, Robin Buckley/Tina, Kali Prasad/Tina, Kali Prasad/Vickie, Kali Prasad/Vicki Carmichael, Tammy Thompson/Barbara “Barb” Holland, Tammy Thompson/Vickie, Tammy Thompson/Nancy, Tammy Thompson/Vicki Carmichael, Tammy Thompson/Eden Bingham, Tammy Thompson/Heather Holloway, Tammy Thompson/Tina, Tammy Thompson/Carol Perkins, Tammy Thompson/Kali Prasad
Interested in other categories?
F/F pairings for the stranger things teens have a total of 10,938 fics on ao3 (a 4,311 increase from 4th March 2023). This is 566 less than F/M pairings and 30,423 less than M/M pairings.
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astronomodome · 1 year ago
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it's just you now
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flaresanimedump · 5 months ago
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Why Fukuzawa is the Hottest BSD Character
*Cracks knuckles* ok here’s ��what’s likeable about Fukuzawa/Why would Ranpo like Fukuzawa” because I saw that again recently
1) HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?!?!?
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Twunks are agelessly hot. Don’t pretend you didn’t think movie stars 10+ years older than you were attractive as a teen. And everyone currently thirsting over BTS - he was the same age as they are when Ranpo met him.
2) You like strong, warm hugs where it feels like you’re swallowed up in the other person’s arms? You like the safe feeling it gives you?
What if those strong warm arms belonged to a bodyguard??
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3) Ok now what if those strong arms belonged to a bodyguard who was also once a bad guy.
You know those hands can kill because they have before. But they’re gentle with you, careful. He’s on his way to being reformed but you’re seeing the good that was always there to start with, if only the world hadn’t pushed him into violence. This is Bungo Stray Dogs so just go ahead and briefly imagine this as a dog rescued from dogfighting that’s the absolute sweetest thing you’ve ever met. Now transfer that feeling to Fukuzawa, a man who was used by the government in a war Ranpo was too young to be part of, a rogue who’s learned the error of his ways and seeks to repent, a reformed bad boy with a heart of gold, you might say??? Incredible I’ll take 12.
4) Before we get into the long character analysis stuff I am going to try to impart to you the allure of an older man who isn’t a creep.
4.1) They’re wise and confident. They can offer help nobody your age can.
4.2) They stay calmer under pressure. An island of serenity.
4.3) When they get mad they usually get shit done. Way less drama. Fukuzawa may be a slight exception because of his former boyfriends but he has done his best to kill them both himself so I stand by the statement.
4.4) They’re still very human. Fukuzawa specifically gets passionate and loses himself in emotion when he’s worried or afraid, but it takes a lot to crack his exterior chill. It’s extremely hot when you get a reaction you had to work for.
5) Fukuzawa is about the most dependable husband-type we have in BSD.
He built up a whole agency to support his and Ranpo’s life together (a lifestyle they both wanted to continue, as mentioned in 4th anime opening Shirushi) despite initially being bad at 90% of the skills required.
(Rough Shirushi lyrics in question below)
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Fukuzawa's described as "afraid of strangers" and thinks to himself how everything about leading a company is something he could never do in Origins,
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and then we see him 12 years later and he's worked really hard to be able to do it. We get all these hints about how connected he is now
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and we see how good he is at leading the ADA but there are times when it's clear it's something he adopted and not what he was born for, like when Mori started asking about strategy books and he'd only read the most common one, or how he plays Go but was reading a book about the rules in one of the official arts set in present day.
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Of course, Tsun Tzu isn't exactly light reading, but I don't think Asagiri would make the character based on the most notable proponent of education in Japan be less well read than his opponent if it wasn't core to Fukuzawa's character in BSD. He's worked so hard to be what the ADA needs and wasn't/isn't a genius at it but still does well, and he basically switched careers on a whim at 33 to support Ranpo. Imagine if somebody did all that for you. If Ranpo wasn’t in love with him before I think that would be the killing blow.
6) Even if Fukuzawa’s not a genius, he’s able to understand and accept others more than any of the "normal" people in Yokohama.
He thought Ranpo was amazing when everyone else thought he was annoying (Fukuzawa also thought he was annoying of course, but the amazing part won out in the end). He experienced the full brunt of Ranpo’s observation and felt bad that he got upset over it when literally every other person who’d encountered Ranpo over the course of 2 years had been angry, shouted, and in the case of the Police Academy dorm head and presumably Ranpo's classmates, beat him for it.
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We can guess from the agency members Fukuzawa employs that he’s a freak magnet and it’s probably because of this trait of his. I’d say he has ‘clear vision’ in that he’s able to see if someone is good or bad beyond societal norms even though he is aware of them himself.
Basically, Ranpo doesn’t like “common sense,” and while Fukuzawa is familiar enough with it to function normally in society, he’s one of very few like that who aren’t governed by it.
7) Fukuzawa is a genuinely good, kind person.
He listened to Ranpo more than anybody but his parents would, took him in when nobody else would. He refused to become a soldier, to go and kill other soldiers with no power over the outcome of the war, in order to assassinate the officials actually responsible for continuing the war.
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I’d argue that Fukuchi was trying to follow in his footsteps with his grand war-stopping plan – that he felt Fukuzawa’s decision to kill the fewest possible people to end the war was correct. And Fukuzawa made personal sacrifices to do that, letting his best friend go to the front alone, not knowing if he’d live or die. Losing friends and losing the respect of those who did come back when he quit.
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But even though there’s a good chance that what Fukuzawa did saved a lot of lives, and even though the people we're aware he killed were unquestionably evil, he still felt that his feelings at the time put him in the wrong. He was still horrified at what he was capable of and quit once all the officials who could restart the war were dead.
There aren’t many characters in BSD with that kind of moral fiber. Dazai’s not trying to repent in the ADA, he’s just there to do good because a friend said he should. Ranpo’s not a bad guy but he’s not exactly caring or in possession of a strong moral compass.
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Atsushi’s obsession with doing good is so tightly wound into his own self-worth it’s almost involuntary, which takes away some of his agency in his actions. We know Tanizaki is willing to commit murder without fear, Kunikida was fine with letting Atsushi be kidnapped, and everyone in the Port Mafia is morally gray at best. Even the Special Operations Division is governed by a “needs of the many over the needs of the few” mentality.
Arguably the only other characters who even come close to this level of humanity are Oda and Chuuya, but Oda's not in this essay and even Chuuya doesn’t care as much about collateral damage. The only characters in the cannibalism arc who drew a line to stop their groups from killing each other and anybody who got too close were Fukuzawa and Mori, and Mori’s morality would require another essay. So I’d argue that in a series where many are great, Fukuzawa is a very rare good man.
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As illustrated by his scene with Fukuchi and Teruko. Fukuchi is a great man willing to work himself to the bone and die for others, but he’s also willing to “curse” Fukuzawa, as Ranpo said in the finale, with the long-term burden of his plan, and to kill innocent people to make it all happen. Teruko is a great girl willing to carry out Fukuchi’s orders out of either devotion to him or to justice, but she’s willing to kill and frame a man she knows isn't a villain to do it. The ends justify the means.
(To be clear I think this makes her a great character, but not one whose allegiance is to simple good-ness.)
Fukuzawa isn’t willing to kill someone who isn’t evil. He WAS willing to kill his evil mad friend to save his other friends. We saw that when he first struck Fukuchi down, so it wasn’t the closeness of their relationship that stayed his hand after he understood Fukuchi’s plan. It was that he felt the ends did not justify the means.
Virtually every other character in this series would have done it, thus: Fukuzawa is a good man in a series full of great people.
And that is what I ultimately think made Ranpo attach himself to Fukuzawa and listen to him without question despite Fukuzawa being an idiot in comparison. Let's face it, Fukuzawa's a bit of a himbo. But Ranpo realized he could trust Fukuzawa to know right from wrong at the same time he realized he couldn't trust himself to know: when Fukuzawa shouted at him after his rescue in Origins.
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Ranpo was in the process of doing exactly what all the other characters do: whatever it took to catch the bad guys/stop the bad thing from happening. He allowed himself to be kidnapped and accepted the risk that he might be shot in order to find the hideout of the men responsible for, so far, a murder and a kidnapping conspiracy with Very Bad implications for the peace in Japan (kidnapping Natsume is not something they would do JUST for a ransom).
Objectively, without considering the human element, this appears to be the correct choice. Ranpo being in temporary danger isn't a big deal when the grand scheme has such major red flags for national security. Many many more people were probably in danger, and we now know the group was somehow tied to Fyodor so yeah, he was on a Very Troubling Thread. But even without knowing Fyodor's connection it seems sort of brilliant and ideal.
The ends justify the means.
But Fukuzawa didn't see it that way. He didn't care about catching the bad guys, he didn't care about efficiency or Ranpo's plans or anything of the sort. He was the only guy in the city whose main focus was on the human element - on Ranpo. Fukuzawa presented a fundamentally different way of thinking that Ranpo and the majority of the cast just aren't capable of, and it's natural to him. And I think Ranpo understood that in a split second when Fukuzawa said he shouldn't put his life in danger and decided that even if Fukuzawa was essentially blind compared to him, Fukuzawa's decisions would always be better than his.
SO that's what I think Ranpo would like about Fukuzawa and what makes Fukuzawa attractive!! Also he's really sexy :D
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wormchaser · 2 months ago
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you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.
i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.
#every time i try to reach out or talk to someone it goes nowhere. i dont have any social skills anymore and have no clue how to keep a#conversation going. half the time even when i do people stop replying to me. which is fine theydont owe me a reply but still feels likeshit#when i tried to make one new irl friend it just didn't work because they have better options for friends. we spoke occasionally but never#messaged online like ever and would only talk when we happened to be in the same place. i tried multiple times to organize a time to hangou#none of which came to pass. i dont understand why this one didn't work because i thought this person was interested in being my friend but#i guess i was wrong or thought they were more interested than they really were.#i have a problem with reaching out anyway which has been a problem i have had since i was like 11. reaching out to people first doesnt come#easily to me - in the beginning when i was a lot younger i didn't want to bother people with my presence & thought if i were to come to#someone first they would feel pressured into talking to me when they didn't want to. this is stupid of course. but has still not left me as#something i feel is very core to the way i act today. waiting for someone to come to me first feels like my only option because i do not#know how to reach out effectively (my evidence being i have failed every time i have tried) & i am convinced people dont like me in the#first place and do not want me to approach them.#i dont really even know who to reach out to in the first place. my world is extremely narrow. the number of people i know has shrunk#significantly and my standing in their eyes collectively has also shrunk significantly in the past few years. i feel like every person i#was once friends with wants nothing to do with me. i feel as if i have burned every bridge possible.#when it comes to the fact i complain all the time . which i know of course is annoying. its because i cant find any kind of joy in anything#i do or see or whatever. nothing makes me happy - i only see things to complain about. all stimulus seems grating and the world seems#specifically catered to make me miserable. all i can really do is complain. i treat this blog like a stream of consciousness and when most#of that consciousness is occupied with how much i hate being alive the blog will mostly be complaining. its a vicious cycle lol .#anyway . i guess the key theme is low self esteem begets low self esteem in many ways. mental illness begets mental illness.#i am not really saying this to anyone least of all to you anon. i just felt compelled to recount i guess for myself the reasons that came#to mind for why i am like this. i am talking to myself here
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icewindandboringhorror · 2 months ago
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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alangdorf · 10 months ago
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(sorry for leaving y’all in suspense I was grocery shopping) Surprise!! I accidentally got into Len’en like two weeks ago. Whoops! I got ideas for cool drawings to do with each of the BPoHC shrine team members (and you-know-who, ofc, but that one might be… weird lol), but Tsubakura gets to go first cause theirs is the simplest; just greyscale + red color scheme with a split background and the pose is mostly random (maybe they’re squishing Tsurubami’s little eye thing? Idk). Very pleased with how everything worked out; the line for the eye is exactly where the dividing line for the background was and the way I managed to make the vest corseted while not changing the ribbon placement is just perfect. Although I did make their hat smaller out of the aforementioned cowardice also that thing is hard to draw
#art#digital#len’en#tsubakura enraku#for those not in the know: Len’en is a game series inspired by Touhou but there’s a number of things different about it and it is rapidly#spiraling off into a very complicated story and also other game genres; also every character’s gender is officially ‘whatever’#This character (Tsubakura) plays like Marisa but is also a shrine maiden (priest) along with the Reimu type character#Nonbinary (to me) mad scientist.#Replaces soy sauce with calligraphy ink in every culinary application.#Made a nuclear bomb once supposedly on accident.#Locked in a blood feud with their 3(ish) absurdly powerful ex-girlfriends and this has led to at least one actual war. so far#(hello high brightness users! :D)#Apparently mastered genetic engineering and mostly uses it for stuff like making it so they can put ink in their coffee and not die from it#what’s not to love#oh ya I doubt anyone cares much since this was in the tags but I got some stuff wrong due to misunderstanding & exaggeration for comedy sryy#nuclear bomb was definitely an accident cause they got really sad about it after which is soooooo funny#they do eat ink and also soap but it’s not really explained why it doesn’t kill them of why they like it#also they made an artificial human (+ several androids) who’s supposed to be an assassin and used to be an even more blatant mega reference#hasn’t actually killed anyone yet cause their first target is Tsubakura lol#and I’m barely exaggerating abt the ex girlfriend thing; they haven’t been confirmed to have dated in canon but they were quote#‘close enough to want to murder each other’#and one of them is very homoerotic about it all the time so like rlly not that out of pocket#admittedly the one I’m drawing somewhat homoerotic art of with Tsubakura atm is probably one of the other two but whateverrrr#it still fits Arde well enough#*mgs reference
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mechahero · 3 months ago
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@anestofocs asked- 😱 for the text meme with Yuki? social media and texting prompts (accepting!) send 😱 for a scared text from my muse
[text]- hey.
[text]- what the fuck are you doing?
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wundrousarts · 1 year ago
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I was going to save this until I reread Hollowpox, but that last ask reminded me that I should share this here, so I present:
Musings on Maud: Why is she considered so powerful, how does this affect her dynamic with Squall, and why is he so scared of her?
(Bonus: How can I connect it to Silverborn?)
Two disclaimers: I haven't reread Hollowpox in ages, so if there's anything that could prove or disprove stuff in this post, send it my way. Honestly send any discussion my way. I love discussing theories. Second, this was originally a reply to a Reddit comment on a post, to which you can find here. The comment discussed Maud being a signatory for a Squall safeguard, so since this comment is copied verbatim, it references that.
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If it’s not outright stated, it’s at least heavily implied that Squall helped create/build up the Republic. It’s only existed for about 90 years, and Squall has been exiled for about 100. He mentions in Hollowpox how he knows that Maud’s plan is to take over Nevermoor/The Free State, because the Republic took over the other states in the realm and he “helped them do it.” However, unless Maud is immortal and also 100 years old, she is not the one who started the Republic from the side of the Republic. Also, no clue how long it’s been around, but Squall Industries has likely been around for awhile as well (this is how he gets his connections and power in the Republic), with Squall just constantly grandfathering himself in with the vampire trick or something.
Interestingly, Squall says two things in this scene (Chapter 34 of Hollowpox) that stick out to me:
“I made the so-called Hollowpox,” he raised his voice above hers, “because I was asked to. Because I was compensated handsomely for it. And because when the most powerful person in the realm asks for a favour, even I don’t refuse.
And
“But you’re a Wundersmith.” Morrigan was utterly baffled. “Why can’t you just stop them if they’re such a problem? I don’t understand!” “Do you THINK I HAVEN’T—“ Squall shouted, then cut himself off abruptly.
He also mentions how the Hollowpox was initially meant for the Republic, but Maud snuck in an infected otter across the border into Nevermoor— “That was never part of our deal.”
There’s definitely a business relationship between the two of them of likely consistent deals, one favor for another, quid pro quo. However, we also see that Squall can’t really go against her, something he seems to have tried before. Two chapters before this scene (Chapter 32), has this moment:
“Yes, shush. Maud said the Wintersea Party might help if there was a squid crow po.” “Quid pro quo?” “Right, one of those. She said they won’t do something for nothing, but if we could convince Prime Minister Steed to meet with her, just to have a conversation, then she would try to convince her party to share their cure.”
While it could be easily explained as part of her job, Maud seems to get most of her power and do things by extracting deals from other people. Maybe she’s knackless, or maybe she has some sort of connection to Puppeteering or a knack related to that. Not Mesmerism, but something that allows her to be persuasive, manipulative, convince people of things, and get them to do what she wants. A sort of parallel or companion to Squall’s connection with Puppeteering that we see in Wundersmith.
It’s interesting that when we first meet Maud, there is this exchange directly after she tells Mog that the Wintersea Republic would only agree to help the Free State if there was some sort of deal:
“But they’re your party,” Morrigan pointed out. “Aren’t you the one with the power? Maud stiffened slightly and cast her a wary, calculating look.
And then soon later she says this:
“Even if I could persuade my party to do the right thing – and I’m not saying I won’t try – there’s no guarantee Steed and his government would come to the table.”
The whole exchange seems very manipulative, like, “oh, I’d LOVE to talk and get this figured out, but I can’t…” There’s a big focus on conversation. Maud is wary when Mog mentions power— she thinks she means a magical power, something secret that gives her an advantage, when really she just means politically— so I wonder if she was worried for a moment that Mog realized she had some sort of coercive power.
I wonder what exactly her power is that makes Squall so scared of her, and why it possibly makes it so that he can’t fight make and overthrow her. Aside from their business relationship, which allows Squall access to Wunder and being a Wundersmith, there’s this other layer as well.
As for safeguard: I don’t know if Maud would be a signatory for a Squall safeguard, as that seems to just be for Wunsoc students, but I think that whatever their deal is and whatever her power is allows her to keep him in check. Jess said that we will learn more about safeguards in Silverborn, and I think it would be interesting if Mog learns more about them from Squall instead of Jupiter— and maybe it does end up being similar to whatever he has going on with Maud, who knows! I don’t really have any safeguard theories myself, but I will keep an eye out for what you add to your comment.
A Silverborn “silver” side note: A “silver tongue” means that someone is persuasive when they speak….. perhaps this idea, theme, power, etc. will be expanded upon in the future 🤔
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six-of-ravens · 7 days ago
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and the award for weirdest sleep goes to...
#todays gonna be a weird i think#might delete socials for a bit#i had a VIVID dream me and one of my mutuals were trying to buy a new Tolkien appendix book or something. new Middle Earth book#and we discovered even opening the book slightly caused us immense eye pain so i confronted the clerk like#WTF IS WRONG WITH YOUR BOOKS#and she was like THOSE HAVE BEEN CURSED GET OUT GET OUT YOU CAN ONLY READ THEM IF YOU PERSONALLY EMBROIDER THE PAGES WITH THE TEXT#and she had like. embroidery kits for the damn book#anyway. that's like the 4th night in a row ive slept badly so.#gonna delete socials and just focus on 1. adding books to librarything. 2. setting up the aerogarden. and 3. finishing this book#i wanted today to be a chill relaxed don't bother with plans day but i think my brain needs a strict to do list lol#also gonna make cabbage rolls for supper. side note the label on that box is REALLY cute ill try and remember to post a photo#not sure if ill make my intended cocktail for tonight. i thought i was sleeping poorly bc i was drinking them before bed but i only had tea#last night and slept worse than ever so. idk. i already have half the ingredients for it...#anyway. the coffeepot is done so i gotta stop rambling and do something#oh side note i found where i went wrong with my budget yesterday LOL i calculated everything monthly EXCEPT my groceries#only added the biweekly/per paycheck number for those which is why i had so much 'extra'#WHOOPSIES#so i gotta redo that and it's actually going to look PRETTY BAD not PRETTY GOOD so
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iampikachuhearmeroar · 7 days ago
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update:
so, I've been going to therapy (ok I'm 2 appts in, but still) through my social services job provider.... and I have a ~vague diagnosis~ of depression and anxiety..... more leaning towards like severe depression and like mid range general anxiety. again, I can't get an adhd screening bc im on my digestion meds (creon) for life, so I need to have 3 solid meals a day, at the very least.... so the psych wouldn't refer me to a psychiatrist for that since I can't get any adhd meds since they fuck w/ your appetite.... so it's basically pointless.
but at least I've got a diagnosis for depression and anxiety. that's something. but I'm still not putting it on job applications, bc fuck employers lmao.
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todayisafridaynight · 9 months ago
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my dads never beating the masumi arakawa kin allegations why the fuck did he say to me 'i was like both your mother and father when you were growing up' ???????????
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coquelicoq · 25 days ago
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I just saw the post on the alt codes you memorized and got so excited bc you are the first other person I heard of who also memorized alt codes! For me, it’s bc I started learning Old Babylonian and there is no keyboard with all the diacritics I needed to transcribe them, so I decided it would be the easiest to make myself an additional vocabulary deck to learn the alt codes (that I needed to create my Babylonian vocabulary deck). How have you memorized your alt codes?
omg that is awesome. i have so many questions for you. what are the babylonian alt codes??? or did you add them yourself? (can you add new alt codes? seems like you should be able to, since it's possible to add keyboard shortcuts, and alt codes are really just a type of keyboard shortcut.) i can see that cuneiform signs are in unicode but i can't find any alt code lists that include them. or are you transliterating babylonian into the latin alphabet with diacritics?
another question did you memorize codes for every single one because holy shit there's like hundreds of cuneiform signs according to wikipedia???? that's wild. i can see why you would need flash cards! me i only know probably fewer than 20 total and i just learned them over the course of several years as they became necessary. it's very hard to write a french sentence without é è à and ç, so i'm sure i learned those first, plus ù which is in one very common word that means something totally different if you leave off the accent (où/ou), then probably i had to learn ê â ô and î. but actually you can get pretty far avoiding the other accented letters in french, so i might have been in college before i learned the rest of them lol. somewhere in there i learned the spanish accented letters, but those are mostly right next to each other and there aren't very many of them, so that was easy. i never learned the capitalized accented letters because it's acceptable in french to leave accents off in uppercase (except the cédille, which i know is somewhere in the 120s so i can get there eventually if necessary). initially i look up the number but then over time it gets encoded into muscle memory as i keep using the letter organically in sentences.
most importantly though: how is the old babylonian is it fun it sounds fun
#let's see i'm going to actually count now#é è à ç ù: 5 extremely necessary french accented letters can't leave home without 'em#ê â ô î: 4 french accented letters that are very handy to have around#û ï: not that important for a beginner. ë: kind of optional?? also not common or important for a beginner. for a total of 3#œ: completely optional and kind of just showing off. didn't learn that until a year or two ago. that's 1 additional#ü: technically not optional but i thought it was dumb so i never learned it???? lol. i had to look up the code just now#because it is not in the 150s with the rest of the u's. it's alt+129...idk why#it is the second accented letter in the alt codes (after Ç and before é)#so not counting ü or Ç that's 13 french letters. then we have the spanish letters á í ó ú ñ Ñ. 6 of those#and the danish letters å æ ø which i'm not sure i should count because i always guess wrong initially and have to try nearby#numbers until i get it lol. but sure let's say 3 of those#for 22 total. which i learned over the course of like 20 years#asks#not anon#diacritics#typography#french#what i should do next is learn the guillemets «». ooh and ¿#maybe the degree sign º. that would come in handy from time to time#and i guess the accented capitals 😩#they're all right next to each other if you go up to the 0190s and 0200s. that's not that bad#thank youuuuu for coming to tell me this it is delightful information. memorizers of alt codes unite!!!#this is like when i found the one other person in the world using the same flip phone that i was using in the 2010s#when that kind of flip phone was extremely old and buggy. we would talk about the idiosyncrasies like which words always#got corrected to other very specific and incorrect words and what would happen if someone tried to send us a link#or a text with a character added to unicode after 2007 <3#we bonded over how our phones always turned 'boob' into 'bomb' and how unfortunate that was in our textual correspondence#with people who did not have that problem
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allsassnoclass · 3 months ago
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I was tagged by @clumsyclifford (thanks Bella!!!)
rules: shuffle your On Repeat and let people pick their favorite from the first five songs!
I have absolutely no clue who has or has not done this yet, so if I tag you and you've already done this then whoopsies! @igarbagecannoteven, @chamaleonsoul, @ijustdontlikepeople, @bandsanitizer if you want!
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fragglerockopinions · 3 months ago
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Am I just more insecure or more considerate or are people not at all ashamed anymore to draw attention to your physical attributes for no reason?
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