#if someone want to talk about it
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LOOK I JUST REALLY ENJOY THEIR FRIENDSHIP OK?? You can't tell me they wouldn't hang after their respective personal quests (spawn ending ofc)/emotional breakdowns over their own mortality
EDIT: I forgot to watermark these so now more than ever PLEASE don't repost
#baldurs gate 3#astarion#astarion ancunin#karlach#bg3#Karlach 'I could kiss his pointy little face' cliffgate#karlach cliffgate#karlach bg3#bg3 fanart#my art#I discovered CSP is a lot better than PS for animating#consistent artsyle? I don't know her#I just like their vibes#they seem like they'd be there for each other#maybe karlach just wanted someone to talk at her about absolute nonsense while she processes her own mortality bc that girl needs some help#I JUST REALLY LIKE THESE TWO
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Listen man, you guys can't be like "you guys need to be normal about asexuality" and then turn around and get weirdly judgemental when you find out someone doesn't have sex by choice. Like that's weird that some of you do that.
#like I love sex im glad we're hyping it up#but also genuinely some of you have got to learn how to be normal around people who dont want to have sex#even if you're not talking about asexuality when you say stuff like that you're still being a weirdass#im not ace myself but i keep seeing posts that come across like they're taking it personally that other people don't want to have sex#it sounds like theyre trying to prove something to someone
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Sooo Hiiii...?
I have been fan of Hogwarts Legacy. Of course with the spark of creating our own character OC, it filled new door of imagination of Hogwarts and Wizarding life.
Which I want to include myself but.. as introvert..you know..introvert..
I dont know how lol since I am not good in community because I feel foreign over it.
Also as I mostly the one who watch, read, and see, part of me feel envious the creativity all of the fandom has and how advanced they are. Especially those who can draw.. damn your beautiful, awesome hand artist!!! (take it in good way, kay? ahaha) Also those who can write damn I missed my brain when it able and have the will to do that.
So in here I actually want to share my OC as well in Hogwarts legacy. But a note, I dont play it in PC so I dont have any mods to make my own character really ideal as I want it. I cant draw, like really cant. I also dont do fanfic anymore.. I think my will not over to the point writing by myself anymore. i still love write but...for roleplay which with character and you know..the AI's lol.
I know I actually can ask friend or commission for my OC but I dont have money for that.. hiks.
So here is the brief biography of OC characters. Just to note, I still uncertain to make it since I kind of lost over the history of time but I will just put what I have for my OCs.
Putri Lita Lavengard
A Hufflepuff
Half Indonesian and British
Indonesia is her birth place. Yes, she is from Southeast Asia.
Hogwarts legacy living place: UK, wizarding world
Mother tongue: Indonesia and English.
A Scorpio lady
What does the character looks like: Yellow tan skin, wavy black hair in shoulder length and side-parted bangs, light gray eyes colour,
Her hobbies: Listening musics (at the moment doesnt have any particular genre, depends on her mood what kind of music she likes to listen), taking care of the beasts, learning charming and dueling spells, chilling with the beasts or animals
Dislikes: Insects, unfaithful peoples, animals abusers
Her wand: Alder wood, phoenix core, 12,5 length
Her patronus: Lioness
Her father is pureblood British. An alumni of Hogwarts, a Ravenclaw. He is a magician historian around the world. His interest over variation over what kind of magic around the world made him traveling and researching while making book about it.
One time he arrived at Indonesia. At 1800, Indonesia was colonized. Some of the people learned about foreign language, which the elites, while some of them not. But certainly foreign countries passed by and entered Indonesia for trade in some ways.
Her father research was magic in Indonesia. One of them he had heard about its black magic and the person called as Dukun. That made him encounter an Indonesian lady who was an elite family. But her family was unique because she was born from witchcraft family who has been working as Dukun from generation to generation. Her family was a Dukun of one of the empire that had been famous in the past where Indonesia had empire before western came in. Even it is not famous or known at the period he came, but the practice still being used hiddenly.
*Dukun is an Indonesian term for shaman. Their societal role is that of a traditional healer, spirit medium, custom and tradition experts and on occasion sorcerers and masters of black magic. The dukun is the very epitome of the kejawen or kebatinan belief system indigenous to Java. Very strong and ancient beliefs of animism, ancestor worship and shamanism are held by the people of the Nusantara. While medical doctors and revivalist Islam and Christianity have caused a decrease in the prominence of dukun, they remain highly respected and somewhat feared figures in Indonesian-Malay society, even in the most orthodox Muslim-dominant areas. In the pre-colonial past, dukun were exempt from paying taxes, as with Hindu priests and Buddhist monks.*
Her mother was a Dukun who lived as an elite because of the history of such professionalism toward supernatural and traditional medicine and also granted with such gift of traditional skills of supernatural. Her magic although known hiddenly like that, but at the front, her job was just a herbalist and masseus who also yes, born from an elite family and able to connect and learned other foreigner.
The difference culture, magic and she herself made her father and her mother eventually caught each other interest. She also just knew about the new magic outside her country after all. Time and days passed and eventually as well, they became together.
They choose to raise family in his country, the wizarding world in UK. Although sometimes, they also went back to Indonesia since they also have their own house there and her family as well still in there. They were blessed with two daughter and decided they will let them learned magic through Hogwarts.
So Putri Lita is learning magic mostly influenced with UK but still feel foreign because she also learning her own mother magic as well.
Following the Hogwarts legacy; her magic was blooming late and even slow but it was there but not that strong. In her story, she did get the letter from Hogwarts at 12. But something crucial and traumatizing her made her mentally and physically unable to do magic after she got the news. So for about 2 years, she went into state of rehabilitation and got back her own magic and strength and study about it as well, easy to say kind of homeschooling in wizarding way. And in this case, Professor Weasley knew about it. All by the help of her older sister and father and also mother. At 15 her magic is clear and can be seen that she is a wizard. Professor Weasley then gave her another chance to entered Hogwarts at 5th year. Before entered the schools, for about 6 month as well Professor Fig knew and helped her magic as well.
And her life of adventure begin in Hogwarts at 5th year there.
And that is all for now about her!!
I still not make perfectly well and maybe there is flaw here and there. I dont make the family that detailed but maybe one day I will share briefly about them!
Note sorry for the bad English here and there. I feel already sleepy as I typed this and English not my native language. Also why i do want to make mixed like this because I am Indonesian and I want to use sparks of magic in Indonesian and mixed to the Hogwarts as well as just the spice ahaha.
#hogwarts legacy#OC#My own oc#my own hogwarts legacy characters#if someone want to talk about it#I would love to! ahaha#hogwarts oc
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i'm sorry but i don't think we should call this the "autism website" when there's still posts with tons of notes mocking people who:
struggle with social skills / have anxiety around social settings
are unemployed / unable to work certain jobs
have intense or "age-inappropriate" interests
haven't had certain life experiences that are deemed universal/essential
struggle with personal hygiene
don't have any friends or dating experience
don't go outside much or at all
take things literally / don't get sarcasm/jokes
have unusual ways of speaking
generally aren't "normal"
#+ other things i'm probably forgetting rn#i know most of these apply to other disabilities too but i wanted to focus on autism bc of all the 'autism website' stuff#it's genuinely disturbing to see someone go 'lol autism website'#and then in the next breath be like 'omg look at this loser who [literal symptom of autism]'#but i guess when these people talk about autism they don't mean actual autism#but the tiktok style 'just a bit quirky but still able to assimilate into abled hegemony with ease' autism#i'm just tired of the hypocrisy#autism acceptance month is over now it's time for autism wrath month#being disabled on tumblr can be fucking awful sometimes. might take a break for a while bc i just don't have the energy to deal with it#autism#actually autistic#actuallyautistic
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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During this sequence that’s supposed to feel victorious and like, “yeah things aren’t perfect, but the good guys won today!” Merlin watches Guinevere and Arthur hug intimately and you know what? He looks sad.
He looks like he wishes he could touch Arthur so freely and affectionately. He looks like he’s desperate to be seen for everything he is and everything he’s done for him. He looks like he’s accepting he’ll never be with Arthur like that and it’s breaking his heart.
That man is deeply in love and he can’t do anything about it. He is happy for them because he just wants them to be happy, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel like a dagger in his heart.
It reminds me of that quote from Sherlock, “you look sad when you think he can’t see you”
#I’ve never seen anyone else talk about this moment#someone might have it just hasn’t crossed my dash#he is yearning so hard#I hate it#I want Merlin to be happy#bbc merlin#merlin#merlin bbc#merthur#arthur pendragon#merlin x arthur#arthur x merlin#Merlin 3x13#3x13#Merlin yearning#Merlin meta#merlin gifs
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"I'll show you every day that choosing to live was worth it"
some of my favourite scenes from @hijinks-n-lowjinks' fic things i would miss from the other side . this fic tore my heart out fr but like in a good way and i wanted to pay it homage the only way i know how <3
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#itafushi#fushiita#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#I LOVE PLOTTING AND ALSO SCHEMING#listen i have a lot of feelings and i needed 2 process them and i do that by making art 2 target my mutuals directly#read my about it's there it's in the fineprint if we talk You Are Not Safe smile#i just . BITING BITING BITING this fic#the domesticity the grief the casual yet unfathomably deep soulmatism.......im ruined i tell u Ruined#so naturally i dropped everything#remember how i said lefts/rights r my enemy my beloathed my nemesis. MIRRORS MADE IT SO MUCH WORSE FHGDSAJFGJS I WANTED DEATH#i was like this is incorrect. no this is correct. flips them around in my head. no im wrong again actually#purgatory tbh but we got there (watch me be wrong again tho if i am wrong again i think i will Cry)#anyway!!! i don't have much else to say except pls read the fic and show jinx some love they 1000% deserve it this fic 1000% deserves it#i could only draw so many scenes but i would draw all of it if i could#fr i ws so paranoid abt accuracy lmao cut 2 footage of me looking up rice cooker models and wtf the colour 'carnelian' was#i hope i got everything right i hope i did it justice :'>#also if any1 mentions how megumi's arm in 3 is at an awkward angle. look me in the eye and tell me youve comfortably cuddled with someone#i will call u a liar
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Look what we've become.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Initially I wanted to do a 'Mutiny' quote to follow the 'Luck runs out' quote.#But the musical earworms demanded a different blood to be drawn. And I think it works just as well.#Alright. It's time to confess something. I really struggled with this comic. I didn't want to draw it. Then I didn't want to upload it.#Because I knew I would be here in the tags writing and backspacing for hours trying to articulate my thoughts.#I'm going to talk about death and grief in the tags today so this is your WARNING to look away if you aren't in a headspace for it.#Sometimes in media there are scenes and characters which land on topics so specific to your wounds that it reopens them all over again.#Because here's the truth. When you've known someone like this for nearly your whole life...it doesn't matter how bad the fight is.#You always think 'We'll always have time. One day this dust will settle and we'll rebuild the bridge.'#And then the fucker dies!!! He dies and suddenly there will never ever be time to repair the rift.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. And part of you did just a bit. But love and hate aren't mutually exclusive.#He's fucking dead and you are left with so many broken and unfinished pieces between the two of you.#Jiang Cheng loses Wei Wuxian thinking that WWX thought they hated each other.#He's a younger brother who will one day be older than the person he lost.#Who has no one else in the world who understands those feelings of love and hate and grief.#I can't be normal about this character. I don't think he even heals me. Zero catharsis to be gained here.#I just look at his sour grape ass and think 'shit that's a little too close to home.' JC is my discomfort character.#I'm probably going to regret being this vulnerable in the tags in like. An hour. So. sorry if you see this once and never again.#EDIT: Yeah sorry this took 4 hours to muster the courage to post. Surprise update!#EDIT 2: You guys were being too nice to me on my sad comic to point out the spelling error. I have fixed it now B'*)
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satoru gojo is tall, charming, powerful, radiating a commanding aura to both sorcerers and non-sorcerers alike. his presence demands attention, something he never has to struggle hard for. everyone around him usually grows intimidated just from him being in the vicinity—they get sweaty, they get nervous, they get shy. but not him. he’s not familiar with such emotions. satoru gojo has never been flustered…not until you, anyway.
he’s stuttered twice: once out of nervousness and the other out of pure shock. you didn’t even react to his first blunder, and that throws gojo off just a little more. he’s the strongest. he doesn’t make mistakes, doesn’t fumble over his words. satoru is about as perfect as perfect can get. and yet, here he is, tongue tied and twisted in knots all because…you’re looking at him?
this isn’t new. it’s not like he’s never been looked at before. quite the opposite, in fact. but this isn’t like the usual irate glances or idolizing, heart-eyed stares he gets from everyone else. you’re actually looking at him like a person, and paying attention on top of that.
ever since satoru began talking, you’ve hung on to every word he’s spoke, nodding along and interjecting with relevant dialogue. complimenting him, asking related questions, brows raising in surprise or intrigue when he says something you find interesting. despite this all being the usual bells and whistles of a normal conversation, satoru can’t help but feel a foreign pounding in his chest. he’s never experienced anything like this. not for a long while, anyway.
it’s not just the thudding behind his ribcage, but this sincere action of being seen. everyone else either looks through gojo, or over him, or away from him entirely and try not to acknowledge him at all, as if suffering through his company. but you, you’re actually looking at satoru, right in his face. dare he say, straight through his blindfold and into the azure blues underneath, as if it isn’t even there.
he has his silly suspicions that maybe you are looking through his blindfold. satoru considers that maybe you have some special power or technique to look through the fabric, but quickly squashes the nonsensical idea and decides instead that he’s just overthinking. and that conclusion flusters him even more.
the realization that you are actually interacting with him and listening to him….it’s not just going into one ear and out the other, or flying over your head as you pretend to listen and instead ogle the pretty features on his face. you’re…interested? in what he has to say? it almost seems implausible, but here you are, clinging to his every word and indulging in conversation with him. no restless fidgeting as you wait for it to end, nor a poorly concealed look of impatience as you pray for him to finally shut up.
you genuinely seem content in sitting here and letting satoru talk your ears off. like you’re enjoying it. and satoru is giddy at this realization, this epiphany that someone actually, truly enjoys his company. he thinks it feels…
it feels nice.
🩵: @anthoosies @staryukis @deepenthevoid @bubblez-blop @luvvmae @risuola @bunnymacaron @gigiiiiislife @domainexpansionmypants @starlightanyaaa @satoruxsc @cinnamoneve @lxnarphase @hellkaiserinphoenix @sherb3t @jianyuu4mii @xinfvl @blindbabycadder @kisstoru @the-monster-under-the-bed @manyno @sugu-love @leilalilox @sataraxia @apatauaia @luvvforliaa @purplegemadventures @v0ctin @kissesfrombelle @babytoshiii @biscuitsngravie
#pls listen to him he just wants to have a conversation with someone#someone who is not annoyed that he is just existing or#someone half listening because he’s handsome and they want to flirt or something#GIVE HIM A FRIEND!!!#I would and will listen to him all day okay he can talk my head off about anything he wants and I will listen#⋆。゚☁︎ summy is thinking . . . 。⋆#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru imagine#satoru gojo imagine#satoru gojo drabble#gojo x reader
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-bangs pots and pans- come get y’all Sebastian angst/silly
#sin talks#sin doodles#sebastian solace#pressure roblox#Sebastian pressure#thinking about someone’s HC is that he wants your data to see if he can get more information to turn back human#thinking about him#AWOOGA#SOWWY
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You know, it's genuinely sad to me that aging favourite character actors no longer have any fun murder-mystery tv shows to guest-star as murders on.
#murder she wrote#matlock#diagnosis murder#father dowling mysteries#agatha christie’s poirot#columbo#quincy ME#ironside#perry mason#there are a few others#yes i know there are murder mystery shows on now#but i'm talking specifically about the silly old fashioned ones that have guest stars as murders who used to be quite famous#and yes I know they have rebooted several of these buy none of them are watchable#but that is a whole lot of white people#still fun shows tho that had fun guest stars#yes yes I’ve seen the hallmark movies they are awful and usually don’t have good guest stars#and whilst i love these shows there are way too many white people#I just wanna see old people on tv drinking tea or eating chilli and chasing after murderers.#Perry mason was actually quite young. I want someone over 50 or 60 at least.#and give me more older people with disabilities. I wanna see canes and wheelchairs.#yes the nun in father dowling played a nun in#sister act#but Perry mason was brought back when he was older so he still counts.#yes I’ve seen poker face and it’s good. but I want older people on my screen.
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look at this idiot not aware that his body is warm and his touch comforting everyone point and laugh
#homestuck#hom3stuck#home24uck#home2t4ck#dirk strider#jake english#dirkjake#admin draws#fanart#i got sick of looking for a ref so i doodled this real quick yesterday#ive been in a 'need hug' mood especially after the exam and sleeplessness preceding it#and thinking stuff#so what better way to process all of this than you guessed it. shoving it onto dirk#short tags this time cos im doing something else but i have lots of things i want to make.... its a shame im not feeling it again#if someone wants to give me excuses to talk about them the ask box is open for more than just rqs
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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I wholeheartedly believe that the last thing that should be said in response to aspecs hating their identity is "don't worry! Aspecs can still do X, Y, and Z" and I'm so fucking serious about this.
The least helpful thing you can do to someone who have not accepted their aspec identity yet is give them ways to compensate for it. If an aspec person is upset over not being able to enter a romantic relationship, the last thing that should be done is to tell them they can still enter one or instead enter a QPR - not because that's not true but because that is quite literally going to stunt their ability to accept their aspec identity. Telling them they can instead enter a QPR when they're upset over the lack of romantic relationships is at MOST a bandaid for the main issue. Instead of them coming to accept their identity and accept who they are you have instead handed them an amatonormative alternative on a silver platter that allows them to pretend they still fit into amatonormativity without every deconstructing it. This is how we get QPRs getting shoved into an amatonormative framework - these people NEVER got over the "I'm sad that I'm aspec" phase because they were handed alternatives instead of given actual support in deconstructing their internalized aphobia, self hatred, and amatonormative biases.
#text#aspec#aro#aromantic#ace#asexual#aroace#I'm not saying that bringing up the fact that aspecs can still interact in certain ways to be Bad or Wrong btw#I'm not saying we shouldn't talk about how some aspecs have sex or some have partnerships or whatever#but more just that the only response to people complaining about certain issues shouldn't only be “Oh but you can do x”#someone who is mourning the fact they dont fit into amatonormativity shouldn't be told “oh but you can fit into amatonormativity”#Like idk maybe there should be a discussion about how many people use favorability and partnering to avoid properly healing?#maybe there should be a discussion about how often people only accept aspec identities based on how closely they fit amatonormativity?#maybe there is a discussion about how other aspecs play into that and never actually leave their “sad to be aspec” phase#the fact so many can only “accept” their aspec identity when they are told that they can still partake in amatonormativity#like idk i feel like discussions can be had here and i think these sorts of discussions need to be had#especially if we ever want to be on the same page when it comes to dismantling amatonormativity
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