#if someone is suffering this bad...; they need help

[epicthemusicalstuff]

I CRYUNG I NEED SOMEONE TO SUM UP ALL ETM SONGS MY. MEMORY + ATTENTION SPAN IS SO BAD

Let’s speed run epic the musical so far!! (It’s under the cut cause even a summary is gonna take a bit for 35 songs-)

Horse and the Infant:

Giant horse- ATTACK! ZEUS?!?! What are you doing here? I have to kill a baby? But he’s just a little thing-

Just a Man:

This little boy reminds me of my son. Is killing him the morally correct thing to do? Yeet.

Full Speed Ahead:

Let’s introduce our main cast! Wow! Polites- Eurylochus- Odysseus! BFFs forever! We’re hungry- let’s go to this island and look for food!

Open Arms:

Wow Odysseus, you are looking hella tense, maybe you should try being nice and not so mistrustful. Look at these little creatures eating lotus fruit- wow this fruit is bad for you- let’s go to this cave to find food!

Warrior of the Mind:

Athena and Odysseus back story. Odysseus, your actions aren’t very Warrior of the Mind coded. Don’t disappoint me.

Polyphemus:

Let’s kill these Sheep!! NOOO! Scary Cyclops, we killed his sheep, now he will kill us.

Survive:

HES GOT A CLUB. He is killing us- NO POLITES. Oh, Polyphemus is asleep now cause he drank spiked wine.

Remember Them:

Odysseus tricks Polyphemus. They almost get away, and then he GIVES OUT HIS FULL NAME, JOB POSITION, ADRESS, AND SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER.

My Goodbye:

Athena is disappointed and they have a big messy friend break up.

Storm:

There is a big storm. Wow! A floating island! Let’s go!

Luck Runs Out:

Captain, you keep taking risks and not thinking this through. What happens if your plans fail?

Keep Your Friends Close:

Hahahahahaha! Here is a bag of wind! Don’t open it! Oh- the winions told you to open it? No!! Penelope- I’m hallucinating! Darn- the bag is opened.

Ruthlessness:

You hurt my son. So now I’m gonna kill most of your men. What’s this- a daring escape? Well- I’ll get you sooner or later-

Puppeteer:

An island. Let’s explore! Oh no- scary lady, she turned us into pigs! Let’s run Captain! Or not I guess.

Wouldn’t You Like:

Hey kid, this scary lady could kill you. How about some magic drugs? Totally safe and all.

Done For:

We are evenly matched- big magic fight! Wow! The magic drugs Hermes gave you really are something. Are you trying to seduce me?

There Are Other Ways:

Wow, you really are trying to seduce me. Too bad- I have a wife I love. Wait- you’ll help us? THE UNDERWORLD WHAT?

The Underworld:

We are haunted by everyone we have lost- Polites- wait- MOM?!? I’m too late-

No Longer You:

This dead prophet should tell me what we want to know- wait- what no- this is actually terrible? We came to you for help but now you’re saying you can’t help us? WHO?!a

Monster:

Maybe Poseidon was onto something, and we do have to be ruthless. Welp, time to become the monster y’all.

Suffering:

Ooo, Penelope, I love you, but you know I’m too shy. I don’t want to get in the water-

Different Beast:

SURPRISE I KNEW YOU WERENY MY WIFE. I actually did become the monster, and now I’m going to kill all your friends you Siren!

Scylla:

This is the only way home. Eurylochus, what do you mean you opened the wind bag back in Keep Your Friends Close. Light six torches- oh no, a giant monster is eating our crew. Me and her are the same you know.

Mutiny:

Captain why did you do that? Fight fight fight! Oh no- Odysseus has been stabbed. I’m hungry, let’s eat cows. Oh no, they were a gods cows. We knew that but still ate them. Now Zeus is gonna kill us.

Thunders Bringer:

Zeus is here. You can live, or your crew can live. But like- Penelope. Sorry crew. Crew dies.

Legendary:

It’s me! Telemachus! I never knew my dad- I wish I could know my dad. All these suitors want to marry my mom. I wish I could fight them. DONT CALL MY MOTHER A TRAMP!

Little Wolf:

Fight Little Wolf Fight- we are going to beat you up just cause you were in the way. WOW. ATHENA?? What are you doing here- we haven’t seen you since the second saga! Ow.

We’ll Be Fine:

I’m going to help you cause I feel guilty about your dad. Bet. We are best friends now. Go find my dad.

Love In Paradise:

Rewind- Morning! You were asleep. I’m in love with you now. Ew back away I have a wife. You’re a goddess??? Oh no- now I’m really depressed. I’m haunted by the ghosts again- ATHENA!

God Games:

Zeus- father- release Odysseus. *lots of convincing Gods* NO, YOU DID WHAT I ASKED SO NOW IM MAD. LIGHTNING BOLT. Is she- dead?

I’m Not Sorry For Loving You:

Yes I kept you trapped against you power, but I loved you- why won’t you love me back? It’s not like you have a whole literally family waiting for you-

Dangerous:

HAHAHAHA. Hello old friend! Let’s do some cool dance moves as I tell you how you will get back home. Here is a wind bag 2.0! Let’s hope you don’t have issues with it this time!

Charybdis:

Another obstacle!! But I know how to beat you!! Woo! I see home- I’m almost there! WAIT NO! NOT AGAIN!

Get In The Water:

Poseidon! Please let me get home- I already told Siren Penelope, I don’t want to get in the water! Can’t we get along? No! Drowning-

Six Hundred Strike:

Use the wind bag! I’m out of the water! SIX HUNDRED STRIKE! You’re beat Poseidon- let me go home. What’s this? You won’t. TIME FOR VIOLENCE. Stab. Stab. Stab. Next to my WIFE.

[thepossummoldypasta]

I Lost Myself to Find You

Tw! a character thinks he's been drugged, strong depictions of someone feeling ill

Steve knew, he knew, it was a bad idea to come to school today. He had thought (ignorantly, stupidly,) that the effects of having his face beaten in and the horrors of almost dying to a fucked up paper-fortune-teller-monster would have faded away over the weekend. Apparently not. Of course not.

Stupid.

Now everything aches. It hurts more than Steve thinks it should. It hurts like he’s a walking livewire bruise. Like every muscle has torn apart and hurled itself back together with no care. He doesn't remember being so absolutely fucked yesterday.

It's pretty obvious that he’s in a bad way. Steve’s shuffling down the hallway like a zombie, arms curled around a suffering stomach that he doesn't even remember Johnathan socking. Not to mention the smell. Steve’s set to present as a beta and even he can smell how absolutely pathetic he is right now.

It's only second period and he longs to be back home with the covers pulled over his head.

Fuck it.

Steve turns around. O’Donnell can fuck herself; Steve’s insides are falling out and he's got priorities. His internal organs trying to eat each other has got to be more important than English class.

It's a long trek to his car parked at the far, desolate, corner of the lot. What stupid mountain was Nancy’s little brother going on about the last time he saw him? Card-something? Steve feels like that. Like he’s crawling lamb-like across some epic snowy mountain, about to collapse.

Where's his car?

Steve knows where he parked his car, but he doesn't see it in the lot. Or he thinks he doesn't; Steve can't see much of anything through the spots dancing in his vision. Maybe the swirling is making it harder to see than the spots are? Either way Steve’s got no idea how far away he is from the bimmer, lost amongst a swimming sea of metal.

He needs to sit down; to yell at his thoughts until they regroup.

Is he even in the parking lot anymore? fuck is he even in the parking lot? The swirling feeling is worse, now it's like he’s swaying on a giant seesaw crossed with a carrousel. Steve’s head feels heavy, like there is cotton and sand thumping around in there instead of brains and rational thoughts.

At least the spots in his vision are gone. If Steve focuses enough--despite his eyes mimicking a fuzzy camera lens zooming in and out—he can see boldly colored evergreen leaves and icy moss. Yep, not in the parking lot.

Probably not a good idea to wander around in the snow blanketed woods with no jacket. The weather is cold enough that Steve could freeze!

Well…

He could freeze if it didn't feel like a fire had been lit in his stomach and across his shoulders.

It's almost near dark, Hawkins is firmly in that time of year when the sun disappears early, but the sky remains dully lit. The shade cast by the trees Steve is trudging between dims the earth even further but everything seems so vivid to him that it almost doesn't matter.

It shouldn't still be this easy to see. It's almost like the preternatural senses that he’s heard come after presentation. Even Betas gain heightened senses, but Steve hasn't presented as one yet, so why is it so bright?

Suddenly it occurs to Steve that he might have been drugged.

Tommy did say he would get back at Steve for abandoning him; The really sad thing is that Steve can picture his used-to-be best friend slipping him something as payback. What would this even be? God, he hopes its not acid.

Steve knows what he has to do now, where he has to go.

Eddie can help

When you think about it, at first the idea seems utterly absurd, but Steve knows Eddie. Sure, the alpha is a major freak, but he’s also Hawkins High’s most prominent (only) drug dealer. He’s bought from Eddie. Every time Steve picked up the “party favors” his friends pressured him into getting, Eddie would get this look on his face and tell Steve that he was always there if he had a bad trip.

And that’s what this is right? It's just a bad trip—even if it was potentially caused by the one guy he used to trust more than anybody else in the world—but now Steve actually has a plan! He just has to make it to Eddie!

Shockingly that might be easier to do than one might think. Very luckily Steve knows these woods and knows them well. In abrupt clarity Steve realizes the route he must have taken to get here and therefore the route he needs to take to get to Eddie.

If he’s in the woods he must have wandered south out of the Highschool parking lot, weaved between houses and the thin tree line, and eventually got himself into the woods proper. He doesn't think he took any turns, so if he just heads west, he’ll either head straight to Forest Hills or pop back out on a road he can follow to get there.

After a small setback—because he can’t follow the sun to find west—Steve is on his way.

The hike through the frost and snow is still oddly easier than it should be. Steve feels like his body is running on fever and instinct. As he walks Steve absentmindedly starts to hum “Over the River and Through the Woods” under his breath, hoping familiar music will speed up the flow of time.

He can still see fairly well; well enough to see (and attempt to ignore) what seems like a little girl following him from close behind. Steve knows it’s probably just the ghosts of his foggy mind coming to haunt him but the idea of a young pup all alone in the woods makes something in him, ache.

Soon enough, she slips back into the shrouds of trees. The pup won’t answer when Steve calls for her; and though it hurts—oh how it hurts—Steve reasons he cannot stop and weep over the spirits conjured by his drug addled brain. He’s almost there.

It should be startling how direct the path Steve took is but he doesn't care about that. He’s almost there. Lights shimmer in the distance, if he listens closely, it's almost like he can hear the soft thrum of distant music permeating the forest floor.

Metallica.

Eddie.

The Munson trailer seems to rise from the freezing mist, welcoming and safe. Steve sees Eddie’s window aglow in the evening and a sigh of relief breaks free from his troubled chest. Steve knows Eddie’s trailer, his window (Eddie refused to sell anything worse than weed anywhere but at home), the certainty is a comfort.

Eddie promised he would help him, here Steve will be safe. Quickly but clumsily Steve flies like a moth to the soft window-light. All sense has left him now; Steve claws and whimpers at the window pathetically until it opens.

“Harrington?” Eddie sticks his head out to greet him, “What are you doing?” Steve whines at the harshness of the whisper. He knows it wasn't meant to be mean but it still feels upsetting somehow.

“Eddie, I need help” the plea is pitchy and sad even to his own ears but still Steve presses on. “Eddie, you promised!”

The poor alpha startles, sucks in a breath and leaps to settle the boy crying at his window.

“Woah, woah, woah!” Eddie flounders. “Steve, calm down, we can sort this out.” no matter how Eddie tries to sooth him Steve does not get a hold of himself. It takes several, long, anxious, moments before Eddie retreats back from the window.

Steve wails.

Why would Eddie leave? why when he said Steve could always come to him?

Steve has never felt so fragile before, He doesn't remember feeling this heartbreaking lonesomeness since maybe before high school. It could be just a culmination of every emotion he's felt and locked away because of the hell he was pulled into. it could be that this was just the last straw. Either way for some stupid reason he feels a small twinge of abandonment in his bruised heart.

All of a sudden arms envelop him in warmth and care.

"Hey, lets get you inside, okay Steve?" Eddie murmurs by his ear. "Jesus man, what are ya a space heater or something? You have your own vapor cloud." Steve doesn't think he was actually supposed to hear that part, but when he turns around, sure enough, a fine mist rises from his shoulders and trails after him like a sorrowful miasma.

how did that happen? When did that happen?

The Munson trailer is warmer and more comforting the anywhere else Steve has been in his entire life. Something rumbles deep contentedly in his chest; its so nice.

Eddie leads him over to a small couch covered in more through pillows on it than a couch thrice its size would need and Steve is glad to rest there.

"Okay man, what do you need?" Eddie questions when the other boy is settled in, "What can I do?"

Steve can't muster actual words but somehow the alpha understands. Swiftly Steve finds himself under a bundle of blankets to situate any way he wants while Eddie steps away once more. This time it isn't so bad; Steve still feels unhappy that Eddie isn't with him, however unlike last time Eddie had told Steve where he was going and was still in his line of sight as the Alpha goes to call his uncle.

"Hey Wayne" Steve hears Eddie greet his uncle. There is a brief back and forth about why Eddie is calling, and how "yes it is suspicious for you to call this late", before Eddie admits defeat. "look, You really cant get mad about this okay?" Eddie stresses into the phone. "I picked up another stray."

Another? but could that mean--

"I-I know Wayne," Eddie interrupts Steve's train of thought, "but I really gotta help my friend out okay? He's in heat."

The conversation continues at a steady murmur, but Steve can barely hear it, let alone make sense of the yeses and i-knows being passed back and forth.

Steve can't stay. He should have known taking advantage of someone's hospitality would have consequences. Here he is, a pathetic lump, on Eddies couch when he should be focusing on his omega! His omega in heat no less!

Steve struggles to free himself from the blankets and pillows he hadn't realized were completely surrounding him. Distantly he hears Eddie frantically tell his uncle he has to go and slam the handset back into the cradle as Steve almost tumbles to the floor.

"Hey! Hey! Steve what's wrong man?" Eddie manages to catch Steve by the shoulders holding him in place.

"No! Let me go!" Steve cries, thrashing in Eddies hold "You should be taking care of your omega!"

Steve nearly breaks free but Eddie wraps around him. now he's trapped in a hold more like a hug than a trap pushing him back into place.

"Well I don't know if we're quite there yet big boy, but that is what I'm trying to do!" The Alpha huffs.

"No you should be with him! He's the one in heat!" the cry pierces into the night, Its so sharp Steve is almost shocked it cam from his own mouth. Eddie makes a confused noise--that might have been a word if Steve was paying attention--he shifts his hold once more, putting Steve at arms length so he can look in his eyes.

"Steve!"

"What!" he shouts in return, Eddie looks deep in his eyes despite Steve's best efforts to look away.

"You're in heat." Eddie says it with such conviction it's startling. In fact Steve is so caught off guard that he goes limp enough to be laid back against the couch.

What--

Eddie coos at him softly, Tucking the blankets back around Steve, even going so far as to fluff a few of the pillows.

"oh honey," Eddie says sweetly as he brushes a hand along Steve's hair in a way he would normally despise, "You really didn't know? is this your first one?"

Steve nods against the alphas careful hand, taking it to nuzzle. Literally three hours ago--heck five minutes ago--if anyone had asked Steve if he was in heat he would have laughed in their face. Now the low, thrumming, ache has settled back in his gut and inclines him to think differently.

What else could this be really? well, he thought drugs, but hindsight and a safe place to rest vanishes the thought. looking back on the day all the cramps, the post-presentation senses, the fire that's settled within him, it all seems to make sense.

(a distant part of his brain--the one that will be embarrassed in a couple days time--tells him that the emotional sensitivity was also probably the result of his surprise presentation. That it was the natural, sudden shift, in hormones and pheromones effecting his already slightly addled brain)

"I don't want to leave, Eddie." Steve eventually sniffles against the warmth of the alpha. He reaches up to hold him gently and Eddie sinks into the hug.

"You don't have to go anywhere sweetheart. I'll look after you, I promise."

Later, after many cuddles and complaints from the new omega about how he "thought heats were supposed to be sexy", Steve will reflect on this week as probably the best one of his entire life. Up until that point of course. After all he has the rest of his life with the most caring alpha he's ever known ahead of him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------Yay It's Done! Feel free to come check this out on Ao3 as well because I've decided to cross post as many of my works as I can =]

[amxrany]

!! CHAPTER 7 / DIASOMNIA ARC SPOILERS !!

Apologies for the delay guys, just had a lot of things going on with my life, but let's get into it (Jack's Dream):

So we land in Night Raven College around the Fall Season, and you know how as we're traveling through dreams there's someone who suffers from side-effects? Well for Azul, he ended up passing out with his eyes open and no one noticed at first until they realized he was just staying still 😭. They managed to get him to wake up, and because of that Azul promises to take motion sickness medicine next time.

When the group used "Dream Form Change", Silver didn't recite it this time; because it turns out he already mastered it a long time ago, because he usually uses the spell when he oversleeps and wakes up late. So Sebek tries teaching Azul the whole spell that Idia made and Azul was just shocked, then Idia tells him that he doesn't get the otaku nature and that one must yell out a catchphrase. That's when Azul goes, "Well, you're the only one into those things anyways." BUT IDIA DEFENDS HIMSELF BY SAYING THAT EVERYONE IN STYX IS ALSO A GEEK 😂

But anyways, we got more lore from Idia that the spell we're using right now allows us to take on different forms in dreams. However if we were to do the same in real life, then one must need special permission from the Magic Agency.

Silver praises Azul for getting a hang of the spell quickly, but then Grim pipes in saying that Jamil mentioned that Azul was rotten but useful, that's when Sebek scolds Grim and tells him that he's just misleading Azul and what Jamil actually said is: that he doesn't like him but he's a dorm leader, so making him our ally would be useful AND AZUL JUST BECAME DEPRESSED LIKE THERE THERE BRO 😭 and Idia was not helping either because he just recounts the events of the previous update, even mentioning that Azul signed his tablet (which he tries to erase in a panic because he wants to forget about it)

Azul then tells the group that he feels bad about acting like that in front of star athletes (referring to Silver and Sebek). Of course, the two "star athletes" in question are confused and that's when Azul reveals that a video of Silver and Sebek competing in an equestrian competition went viral on Magicam, where netizens were calling them "princes" and stuff.

But since Silver and Sebek don't use the internet much (for the case of Sebek, he does have Magicam but only for the sake of communication) and thought that people were referring to their horses as princes (pls never change you two). This is where we learn that their horses are named Samson (for Silver) and Tempest (for Sebek). That's when Azul corrects them that the internet was referring to them as princes.

That's when Idia starts dissing sports clubs for getting that much attention but the board game club doesn't even get that much hype. But then Ortho replies that the board game club did end up in the local newspaper BUT WHEN THEY WERE TAKING A PHOTO IDIA COVERED HIS FACE WITH HIS HOODIE BWAHAHAHAHA

While the group is talking, Jack comes running in, telling them to get out of the way cuz he's running late. The bird is seen flying around him, signifying that we're in Jack's dream now. So the group follows him to the Coliseum where we see Savanaclaw and a lot of training equipment.

It turns out that Savanaclaw is training for the Inter-Dorm Magift Tournament (so the dream takes place around the events of Book 2) and bruh Dream!Leona's just acting like those typical sports anime protags where yeah he's disappointed about their loss against Diasomnia but they shouldn't waste their chances and there's still room for improvement yada yada yada

AND EVERYONE'S JUST LIKE NAWWW WHO TF IS THAT 😭😭😭. Everyone agrees that they have to wake Jack FAST.

The group's discussing about Jack's Dream when Sebek expresses that he still remembers the incident during Book 2,where he was not only worried about Malleus but with the other players as well (awww) and Azul's out here acting like he wasn't involved in it somehow and that he was shocked about Leona's plan (not awww)

Anyways yeah he deserves to be judged

So they start devising a plan on how to wake Jack up, and in the process talk about his role during the incident. Sure, he did go behind their backs for the greater good but it was most likely a difficult choice for him since he did look up to them :(( . It's unusual that a junior looks up to their senior, but even then Jack still chose to do what's right and we gotta admire him for that yknow.

Silver compares Jack's dream to Sebek's dream, stating how similar they are and Grim's just like "oh if that's the case why don't we punch him to wake him up" 😭

But that's when Idia comes up with the greatest plan of all: We challenge Savanaclaw in a Magift Match (featuring Idia in hologram form)

The entire scene literally feels like watching a sports anime because Azul manages to come up with a sob story about how Octavinelle and Ignihyde are working hard to make it to the Magift Top Spots and he really be pulling up the question if they still got a chance to Dream!Leona and he agrees like a sports anime rival 😭. So yeah we're given the chance to compete against and the group huddles up first and gives a little cheer

Btw this part's a rhythmic and let's just say you have the option to make Azul suffer even more than he should here 😭 (can't find the full rhythmic but there is a part where Azul just gets launched out of the frame)

Azul's already on the verge of passing out again, so Silver had to call for time-out. Ortho offered cooling spray while Sebek gave him water and then there's Idia who proceeds to make fun of him even bringing up his "athleticism" during his dream like bro that's so foul 😭🤚

In the meantime, Sebek tries to come up with a strategy that won't kill Azul in the process. What comes up is that Sebek will mark Leona, Silver will mark Ruggie, Ortho marks Jack, and Grim and Yuu will run around as decoys.

We're back into the game, and Sebek actually managed to put up a good fight against Leona but ends up throwing the disc out of bounds because he tripped. But then Dream!Leona went and helped him up??? and gave him constructive criticism???? Everyone went "Nahhh Leona would NOT do that".

Now we go to Ortho and Jack, with Ortho evading Jack as he's holding the disc. He also taunts Jack for not being able to catch up to him. So the entire game get so serious to the point that THEY REACH SPACE ONCE THEY JUMPED ???

So Ortho's plan this whole time was to drag Jack into space as a way to bring him back to reality. Why? Because Jack starts showing symptoms of waking up when he realized that he should have been dead by now since he's in space. That's when Jack talks about how he saw Leona play on TV 3 years ago changed him and how he enrolled into NRC just to play with him 😢. Then we get the end scene of Book 2 that finally woke Jack up like nooo :(((

JACK STARTS FALLING FROM THE FUCKING SKY AND EVERYONE PANICS. But thankfully Ortho changes into his Cerberus and catches him just in time. Jack starts crying because he realized everything was fake and that all he wanted was to be a player in Savanaclaw 🙁.

Shadows start to appear but we manage to defeat them. But then, Jack starts attacking us thinking that were also fakes as well. Azul tells him to look at his face and that they're in fact the real deal, but Jack wasn't buying it cuz he remembered he had beef with Azul 😭. That's when Idia's like "this happened because you aren't reliable bro" and Azul's just asking Ortho where Idia's power source so he can turn it off (i love Idia in this chapter man).

We let Jack watch the video and tell him the events leading up to where we are right now, and then he proceeds to pat Yuu and Grim's heads, praising them for making it this far. We also let Jack see his dream self, and yeah the first thing he does is comment on the areas he can work on (#priorities).

Jack and Sebek have a conversation alone, where Sebek expresses that he still holds a grduge against Savanaclaw over the events of Book 2 and Jack accepts it, telling him that he has every reason to be angry; and that left an impression on Sebek cuz that made him think that there's still good people in Savanaclaw.

And that's it for Jack's dream. I was already working on summary for this update but there's this big event going on in my university so I've been doing coverages for 3 days straight and I only just got to rest now (being a journ student is quite tiring) but yeah I will most likely have Ruggie's segment out by tomorrow.

Stay tuned then!

Next: Ruggie's Dream

(Note: This post is a summarized version of the update, info and pics comes from @/LBucchie and @/WitchDrug on x/twt, give them some support if you can)

[yunazxxx]

“you didn’t sleep again?” the red haired girl asked, “you didn’t eat again?” the brunette asked back. — meret manon x lara raj

cw ; angsty fluff, heavy topics (depression, struggles with mental health, feeling alone etc), established relationship (girlfriends), comforting, crying moments but not too many, physical affection (hugging, kissing, hand holding), manon lets lara cry on her shoulder at one point, lara wipes manon's tears at another, mentions of a eating disorder, kinda includes all of the girls, etc maybe

syponosis ; it's been no secret that the girls in katseye have suffered endlessly ever since the release of popstar academy, but even once th other members hate began to slow down it only picked up for manon and lara.

wc ; well over 1.5k

an - i want to first say this again, this story contains a lot of heavy topics if you cant handle that please take care of yourself and i’ll see you on my next update. this story is complete fiction, minus what can be proven as true. majority of this can genuinely take place but we don’t know that for sure if any of these have actually with these girls in specific. p.s not proofread bc im writing this at like 3am ntfm

—

it was 3:45 am, lara was still up on her phone, scrolling away on social media. she was laying in a fetal position due to how sick she felt, her stomach turned as she read comment after comment about herself. they were everything far from joyful comments, ever since geffen released their documentary the girls have been tormented by the media.

normally, lara wouldn't bother herself with reading every single comment, but on all of her social media that's all she'd see or someone calling her racial slurs or anything under that form of disrespect. lara didn't understand why, it had been so long since that recording, she was closer with everyone now, why was she getting so much hate for a small comment she made about her member, manon?

@larrarajj : are you awake? sent at 4:00 am. the redhead didn't know what to do, megan was asleep and it was too early in the morning for her to put anything on to distract herself, no matter what h tried all she could think about was those comments. lara got easily overwhelmed, unsure what to do with herself or anything.

she felt her heart getting heavy, as her eyes began to well with tears when her phone finally chimed.

@manonmeret : yeah, i am. sent at 4:05 am it was a text from manon, lara knew of her habit of almost never sleeping, espcially due to this endless stress they've been under, not ever given the chance to enjoy being ‘katseye’ because everytime they just breathe, they're getting ridiculed.

@larrarajj : can i come see you? - lara really didn't know what to do with herself at this moment, she felt so anxious it made her uncomfortable. she waited for manon's texts, seeing the bubbles pop up but disappear, then a knock was at her door.

she got off her bed and opened it, seeing manon in her comfort hat and a oversized t-shirt along with shorts. lara couldn't see the girl's face clearly, but her voice spoke enough that she had been crying. lara brought the older inside of her room, and hugged her.

manon could feel lara begin to break down in her arms, manon held her as tigh as she could, rubbing her back, "get it out, it's okay.." manon comforted the girl, it was heartbreaking watching lara suffer the way she was.

lara wouldn't ever talk about how she felt, she would always just isolate, or handle it herself, she'd never ask for help, which affected her girlfriend really bad because she'd always be available to assist lara, however she needed it.

anytime she'd ask if lara was okay, she'd just reply "oh i'm fine" but manon could see her about to break down, she'd bite her lip majority of the time or just nod because she could feel herself about to lose it. lara had her reasons, because yeah what she was getting was terrible, but she also got ahold of what was being said about the other girs, and those really messed her up.

when she did see happy comments about her and the girls, it'd only be about five of them, never including manon because everyone would berate her name ad drag it through the mud like she was nothing, lara wanted to speak out about it so bad, but she couldn't.

it made her feel so guilty, watching manon go through it every single day. as mentioned before, manon stopped sleeping. she was never calm enough to be able to sleep, she always felt so on edge that it fucked with her. manon started spending more money on energy drinks, catching the attention of the other girls.

sophia stopped her one day, seeing the stuff she had bought, asking why did she need so may. manon couldn't lie and say school, her and sophia graduated the same year, she would lie and say practice, or she was buying them for daniela too.

it wasn't like daniea didn't know of manon's habit, she roomed wth her, so obviously she knew. it really concerned daniela, so she began sleeping beside manon or letting manon lay in her bed so she could get a litte bit of sleep but as it got worse, not even that would help her.

manon would be up for hours, just writing in her journal. it wouldn't ever be something specfic, but as you read, you can her spiral mentally. infront of a camera, and seeig her laugh and smile you wouldn't ever guess that this is what she was going through.

lara lifted her head off of manon shoulder, manon just looked ather, with a frown but smile on her face, she looked reassuring, saying to her girlfriend, "you know, it's okay to get it out. we all need to talk to somene about what we're struggiling with." maon said, rubbing her girlfiends's back while she held her hands.

the pair was sitting on the bdnow, lara was fidgeting, but she didn't even know why. "hey, calm down, breathe" manon said gently to the panicked girl, she and lara took a deep breathe together, while manon was calming lara down she felt a tear fall down her face and lara wiped her tear.

lara kissed her cheek, "we're gonna be okay" lara said softly. they stayed with each other for a bit, before the sunrise began. manon took lara to the balcony, they watched the sun rise together. while this happened, lara put her head on manon's shoulder.

"i'm so glad i met you" she said softly, and the brunette nodded, "so am i" and they watched it rise in silence. soon the other girls began to come outof theirrooms, lara and manon began treating this as any other day, manon opening a energy drink while lara grabbed her water and gum, as her "meal for the day"

sophia watched as they did ths, it really made her feel terrible, watching them both sufferthis badly. she knew lara couldn't eat, after reading all of those comments everyday for as long as she would it began to make her so sick she would throw up everytime she ate something to the point where she wouldn't even get hungry.

it began affecting her health terrbly, lara would walk out of her room, she would look tired with bags under her eyes, oversized hoodie on and she'd grab her water then leave again. the most they would ever see of her would be during practice, butshewould get dizzy so easily due to her blood sugar and blood pressure being as low as it would get due to her never gettng enough nutrients.

megan caught on to this, and whenever mega would eat, she would have lara sit next to her and she would feed her older member. to the average person tis may soun ridiculus, but megan watched as lara began to give up on taking care of herself, the same way daniela watched manon.

her and megan did the best they could to help heal them, writing them mall notes and sticking them on their most used devices, notes of motvations, and quotes tha they know, or more hoped, would make them feel better.

overtime, lara and manon got better, it might've been a whole house effort but what mattered was that they started taking care of themselves once again. lara would pick up the habit of sleeping with manon more often, while when manon cooked she would feed lara to make sure she's eating well and would also keep an eye out incase she'd attempt to enduce vomitting.

overtime, things slowly became more normal around the house, lara wouldn't have to be monitorid as often and for manon, she started sleeing better ever since lara started sleeping next to her. even making a joked saying that she really just needed lara so she could feel better.

lara would spend so much more time in their room, that daniela would offer up her bed to lara until she was gone. lara would say it's fine but daniela didn't mind, normally saying she'd go talk to megan or something.

at some point the question was asked, "why didn't you come to me when you felt that way?" manon hd asked her girlfriend, she wasn't attacking her, but was curious what made lara isolate everytime she felt sad or down, "you had your own things to worry about baby, i'd hate to make you worry about more, let alone me" the redhead explained, but the brunette didn't accept it.

"it made me worry more ya'know?" manon said, playing in lara’s hair while the younger's arms were wrapped around her, "i know, didn't mean to though" manon nodded and kissed her head, "i know beautiful, it's okay"

[callmecharlie09]

Some analasys on Mouthwashing

This is quite litteraly my first post on the game, but i wanted to shoot my shot incase someone finds this, i rlly need to talk about this beautiful masterpiece.

People often talk about the game regarding the playthrough and theories and whatnot which is obv normal, considering thats what you need to use as a source of analasys, but one thing I never myself have seen is people talking about the title of the game itself.

I found it random how mouthwashing of all things was the word chosen from it, seeing how it is only pretty relevant in the game when the crew starts using it as a substitue for food or smth after running short on it. However, it obviously means alot more if it is the name to represent the game, and this is my take on it ^^

One thing that caught my eye is that the entire crew had hid something from the rest at one point or another, pre and post crash. Anya had hidden her abuse taken from Jimmy after Curly didnt do anything, Daisuke telling Jimmy about his problems with his mom when drunk, Swansea keeping away the escape pod so Daisuke could use it, and Jimmy and Curly are mostly related to Anyas situation, but also the scene where Curly told the crew about them being fired, making Jimmy felt lied to in a sense. So what does this mean? I feel like the mouthwash is suppose to be a 'metaphor' for the expression "to wash your mouth out with soap". Normally, this expression is used when someone says something bad or something they shouldnt have said, and in a more overexagerated sense, 'to clense your sins'. So could it basically mean that it is a weird punishment for every crew member not being truthful? Especially in dire situations? It might be, but I have another theory for it.

Another thing is the suffering the mouthwash brought to the others. One might assume that, despite the minty taste and liquid form, mouthwash would still be enough to help them survive, seeing as how its sugar contents woupd help them live for long enough to get rescued, but that doesnt seem to happen in anyones case.

The moment they discover the mouthwash storage boxes, Anyas first instinct was to read what it contained, and she immediatly panicked when she saw it had too much sugar to be used for Curly to tend to his injuries, already being a problem to two of the members. Swansea and Daisuke (mostly Swansea) took advantage of the alcohol that it contained, striking back Swanseas addiction that he sobered up from and making Daisuke think about his mother solemnly, and Jimmy is the only one left. He has the smallest disatvantage when it comes to him as a singular person, but as now captain, he sees it as him getting the biggest one, with having to make the others survive on mouthwash alone while he goes madder and more insane everyday, becoming less stable than before and distancing himself from everyone.

Thats basically all that I have to say, it might've been obvious to others, but I only thought about this a few days ago lol (im sorry for bad english).

Bye chat <3

[physalian]

Character Types: Self-Destructive Paragon

I just came up with that term right now to describe characters whose philosophy is: I will be good and kind even if it kills me.

If you have a more apropos one, I’d love to hear it.

But I think being a “self-destructive paragon” with emphasis on the self-destruction is to be good out of spite, to be cynically optimistic, to do the right thing because fuck, no one else is going to, the world is shit, people can be shit, but I will not be people.

Similar to the Fixer but more self-aware and less of a doormat, the SDP is a character I think the world needs more of to stand against toxic positivity and exhausting silver linings.

Instead of “the world is good and I’m going to prove it :D” in the face of daunting misery and suffering, it’s “the world is messy and complicated and we are all suffering, but I have the means to do good, and nothing will stand in my way”.

Painfully naïve characters are not compelling (to me). They’re preachy, they always need rescuing, they strawman cynics and pessimists, and when they do face a situation they cannot put a positive spin on, they still hold the moral high ground with little room for nuance, and they tend to get into situations that no other character would be stupid and/or gullible enough to fall into.

It would be like if Katara was actually the Ember Island Players’ version of her for the entire show. Or, Aang’s caricature.

But she’s not. She’s suffered and been burned and humbled and isn’t at all afraid to get her hands dirty and risk her life doing what she thinks is right, like in "The Painted Lady". But she’s also messy and complicated, nearly killing a man in her revenge quest in "The Southern Raiders".

Katara will be good and kind and just and fair and noble, putting her life on the line again and again to prove it, but she's not as angsty (and not self-destructive) as the two examples I have in mind.

SDPs also tend to be written in bad faith, or as a bastion of virtue against other characters written in bad faith, depending on where you fall on the “hope is vital/hope is for children” spectrum for the message of your book.

Usually, other characters’ criticisms of the painfully naïve are that they have not suffered and their virtue signaling is tone deaf to their audience of people who cannot afford the luxury of looking on the bright side.

So, enter the self-destructive paragon.

This is a character who probably suffered deeply, for a long time, and who was painfully naïve until they had their wakeup call. But instead of devolving into a selfish cynic, they decided to not only be better, but to put their money where their mouth is and do better.

This is a character who was probably mocked and dragged down again and again by cynics who want to make them as miserable as the rest of the world, and gosh darn it, they just won’t break.

They might risk their lives, their health, their stability, or their reputation trying to save someone who doesn’t want to be saved, determined to help someone they’re convinced just can’t see that they need help yet. Or, they might be a Robin Hood figure, blithely shuffling resources around with some worldly calluses on their soul.

Or, they might have faith in the world, but have zero faith in themselves, making themselves the exception for every grace they extend to other people.

Even if their “self-destruction” is a permanent rage against the system and the cynicism, giving themselves fully to their cause and losing their sense of “self” in the process, this is a character compelled to go beyond their means, no matter the cost. These characters tend to not even think of themselves as "heroes" to be praised, they're just doing what they think is right and might suffer a bit of imposter syndrome when the laurels come their way.

I like these characters because of their fierce honesty, and the knife’s edge upon which they walk. You understand their morality and their integrity explicitly, and the lengths they will go to stand up for what they believe in can have horrible unintended consequences.

And who’s a better self-destructive, angsty do-gooder than the Dark Knight himself? Specifically the iterations where he isn't going around branding and murdering people. BTAS-era. Bats doesn’t give himself a break and he’s my favorite DC hero in large part because he has a villain’s backstory straight-up, and chooses to be good.

Spoiled little rich kid watches his parents get murdered and inherits impossible wealth and could very easily use all that money, power, and influence to become a supervillain in adulthood. He has the costume, the aesthetic, the brutality, the motive, and the means.

But Batman is a hero, and he will do good and be good, even if it kills him. He spits in the face of every real-world billionaire who rests on their winnings, every person in power who so superficially laments the plight of the poor. Is he perfect? Nope, but that’s more of the limitations set by the people who write him and not his character itself. He might not be a complete cynic about the state of the world, but he sure is a cynic about himself or as the Nolan Bats said: “I’m whatever Gotham needs me to be.” Even if that makes him a pariah to preserve the reputation of a better man (in his mind) so that Gotham can have their faith rewarded.

Raven of DC’s Teen Titans is also a self-destructive paragon, another character with the motive and the means to easily become a villain and be the worst thing to happen to the world, but chooses not to. Specifically the 2003 cartoon version. She’s been fated to bring about the end of the world, daughter of a ruthless villain whose sole purpose for existing is to be his portal. Her whole life she’s kept people at a distance, refusing to let people in to get her hopes up and have good things so she doesn’t have to lose and hurt them.

But she is a hero. Per Robin, “the most hopeful person I know”. And she will be good, even if it kills her.

—

I know "hero born from villainy whose personality is Angst" (Gaara fits well) is the bread and butter of shonen edgy bad boys but the difference I'm trying to highlight is how quickly these characters will throw themselves on their own swords, with crippling self-worth issues.

So of course I wrote them. Thrice.

One in Eternal Night of the Northern Sky on Amazon

And two in Little Red Dot up on Ao3

[yuseirra]

It's so weird. I keep listening to Fatal and this guy loves Ai so much. It's still something I can interpret as love, and is this the right way feel about it? Why do I still feel like Ai's chosen the one that'd treasure her when I'm so stern about moral values and feel like someone who's done wrong should be sufficiently punished in fiction if needed? Why do I still feel this isn't that unhealthy? This feels like intense longing from someone who's so lonely and hurt driven to the point of being utterly broken?

He misses her so bad. It's so painful. What is the point of making an originally good person like him suffer so bad? This is wrong. That's so horrible. It feels really bad... I sense these enormous, overwhelming feelings, and I'm still not sure if I can dismiss this only as pure insanity because this happened because he really did care about Ai. Is it that it's got overridden and taken advantage of? Fatal is so weird because that whole song screams.. of this feeling of becoming tainted and madness, the whole melody feels like it; yeah, I can see that, but..

I actually see what the story is doing as a whole. I think I have a good idea of how this is going to be wrapped up and why they made this choice, but as I always say, I'm not the one responsible for forming the story and having crafted these characters so I can't say it for sure.

If what I anticipate does come true, then this can be a really meaningful piece of work. I want to believe in that. But it's so hard to hold out on that and see these pointless sufferings in the process. Aqua's hate should not have been directed at this guy. This character...I think he needs love. If just one person was kind enough to him, he could have lived with that, and he just didn't have that, it's so unfair.

I think I can sense what this character is feeling you see, it's what's made me draw so much about him and Ai,

in that case, I see why the writers and staff cared enough for him to give him two songs, but if I'm wrong on this, I just don't know.

I think I will have the answers.. by December? I hope so.

I would like to believe in my feelings and go on because, in terms of feelings, I know what this is, what's being displayed doesn't entirely make sense, the only consistent things I can read about this character are the feelings and his state is really, really, really bad. They are so depressed on the near verge of death, they are so weak... If someone is feeling this despaired, maybe they can turn into something different but I'm not sure about that, I can't determine that, I need more information to piece things together, but I can say, this is a really huge feeling they're feeling, and I sense a lot of sorrow. It's so weird...

It's different from what I feel from seeing the comic, you know. You know how sometimes you act and you feel the sort of feeling your role may feel. Or when you read a work and you can get a sense of what a character may feel. I've been good with these. It's what I rely on...this sounds really dumb, I know, but... I feel really sad when I try to match up my feelings with what this guy may feel. With this level of sadness... I just don't know what to make of him but it's really reasonable for him to have this sort of feeling too, since someone who cared for died. They don't exist anymore... can I even sympathize with him? Am I supposed to? It's not.. actually insanity I feel as the core, it's sadness. Everything he does seems to stem out from that sort of feeling, "sorrow" is his core. so I can't help feeling pity when he's this... horrible mess right now. But what did he even do? we never even got to see that. Why is he like this? It's actually really painful to try and sync up with him, I do that when I draw characters, and I had to back out several times from getting too deep because it hurts. I'm adjusting my level of doing this with this character time to time because what he's going through is really intense. The same with other characters in this comic, had this happen with Aqua and Ai too, that's why I'm so impressed with how this comic builds its characters, the characters in this manga are suffering internally so realistically, you can actually feel their emotions if you try really hard haha. It makes it really intriguing, that's how I was drawn to it in the first place. Do you have these things happen to you, do? I certainly cannot be the only way who has this happen, I am sure!

The reason I keep talking about him is because. the information that is presented doesn't connect with each other.

Still I feel like I can sense what Ai saw in this guy. Then he should be saved; I want that to happen. And if the way I see it is correct, it actually will happen. I don't know how but by the end of the series, it will. I sound like I have little base, don't I? but I'm usually right with these, I had something like this happen lots of times, so I think-and hope-I'm being so this time as well!

[jklpopcorn]

crying and sobbing i was supposed to draw doodles of my ocs but instead all there is is Siffrin

they're so shaped i have to draw them

also

100% :)

[mothinabottle]

Imagine. Imagine a new ritual in-game where the temple tries to convert a demon PC back to a normal human again. Like some type of shit involving a high rank temple member cumming inside PC 7 times (Because 7 is the holy number supposedly? Jajsjajsja)—Preferably Jordan

Spoiler: It doesn't fucking work. This is just an excuse to have porn with plot, ok??? I am at my wit's end cuz I haven't been able to draw Jordan in a GOOD while and I just need them???

I NEED YURI SEX, YAOI SEX, WHATEVER THE FUCK IS AVAILABLE WITH JORDAN 😭

[zeroducks-2]

"You've got to be nice to people with demonized mental illnesses 🥺 If you experience delusions and hallucinations and intrusive thoughts I love you and you are safe with me UwU"

Yall couldn't handle Jimmy Mouthwashing and act like James Sunderland was the antichrist.

[immortalsins]

im so so tired jsjdhbj an engineering employers panel just scared me half to death with their startups and innovation and investment and passion commitment linkedin networking etc etc etc i hate it here

[carcarrot]

well that was a shortlived good feeling about my job

[cavity-collector]

i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit

[dykeza]

Ichigo being a stay at home dad who works online is so in character for him actually…… he’s the type of dad to enforce 1 hour of no screen time outside playing in the yard and/or playground. He texts Orihime goofy pictures of Kazui jumping around in some water fixture in the local park and carries him home soaked to the bone and shivering with the biggest smile on his face and then they eat ice cream and wait for Orihime to get home so they can have family game night.

[garvalhaminho]

heartstopper has a specific talent to make me cry w the second episode of each season

[critterchitters-closedcaptions]

trying to decipher if the overwhelming dread & Thoughts are cause of the state of the world or cause i need a shower.

vent post in the tags. idk. do whatever 👍