#if people end up wanting it i could yap about some of the others ive got

[lil--nuggett]

aoouhghhhh been going absolutely feral, bonkers even, for a dnd character i made for an upcoming campaign. i know its not my usual hardenshipping content, but i might yap about him later. as a treat for those of you who wish to know about him.

[seung-mong]

everyone adores you (i hate that i do too) - kim seungmin

includes: seungmin x reader, friends to enemies to strangers to friends to lovers?? (kinda academic rivals vibe) college au, soft dom! seungie, everyone knows they r in love except them, kinda slow burn? idk, fluff, angst, quick vanilla smut scene at the end, unprotected sex, possessive seungmin, creampie oopsie woopsie, felix is lowk seungmin's downfall lmao

a/n: the people have chosen, thank u for those who voted on the poll!! i know this is so ridiculously late but ive been in a writer's funk lately and ive just been so unmotivated #rant anyway i hope you guys like this one:') chan x hybrid felix x reader up next?? :00

wc: 12k YAPPING ofc my longest fic is of my husband #seungminlover #myMan

"there's nothing i can do for you, mr. kim. you failed to submit the third reflection essay. i have been considerate with your other late submissions..." the middle aged professor sighs, bringing a hand to his forehead and massaging his temples in frustration.

seungmin's hands wrap tighter around the strap of his bag, nylon almost burning against his palm due to the friction. "mr. park," he almost whines, leaning forward in his chair.

seungmin's desperate. he needs to pass this class, a prerequisite to all of his majors. he'll be damned if he takes his classes later than everyone else. "please, there must be something i can do. anything for extra credit. i really really need to pass this class." his voice slightly breaks, so close to tears. he can feel the red hot embarrassment that washes over him at the thought of having to explain why he cant enlist in the same classes as his friends.

he's never gonna hear the end of it when he tells his parents, always hard on his ass about biting off more than he can chew and he's always shrugged them off. how is everything so different now? in highschool he was juggling acads, being president of the student council, being in choir, dance, band, and the debate team. and now? four classes and a stupid glee club and hes falling behind.

his worst fear.

the older man swallows thickly, obviously uncomfortable at his student's sudden show of vulnerability. "mr. kim, i really want to help you. but im afraid there's no extra work i can give you to help you raise your grade.

seungmin shakes his head, slumping deep in his seat.

"normally i'd offer that you could check some papers and-"

"i'll do it!" seungmin yells, almost jumping out of his seat.

"but another student has already offered to be my teaching assistant for this term for extra credit as well.... unless you could convince them to split the workload... id consider raising your grade."

"sir, anything! who do i have to convince?" seungmin lets out a sigh of relief. and he thought all hope was lost.

"miss y/l/n. do you know her?"

fuck. all hope is lost.

you huff as you push open the heavy metal doors to your apartment building, canvas bag filled to the brim with papers you're supposed to check. the weight is heavy on your shoulder, strap digging uncomfortably into your skin. the sting lingers as you waddle over to your apartment locker, dropping the bag as you dig into your coat pocket for your keys.

"oh, y/n! im glad i caught you." you turn around to see a kind face smiling at you from the foot of the stairs, long blonde hair tied somewhat neatly to keep strands away from his neck. stubborn clumps of hair fall over his forehead, sticking to the skin in a thin sheen of sweat.

"hyunjin?" you squeal, leaving all your bags right there on the floor as you run towards your childhood friend. your arms wrap around his neck as he laughs, arms coming up to wrap around your waist. you nearly knock him off his feet from the force that you throw yourself at him, but he cant blame you. it has been way too long.

"but... what are you doing here? i thought you were still in paris?" you chuckle, breathless as you pull apart from him.

"non!," he teases, but his smile quickly shifts. "due to some, ah- unfortunate circumstances, i had to return home a little earlier than i had planned," he shrugs, grabbing your arm and hooking it with his.

"oh cut the bullshit, hwang." you laugh, pulling him towards your locker. "tell me what happened," you groan, bending down to pick up your bag. hyunjin, ever the gentleman, quickly reacts from beside you, taking it away from you before slinging it over his own shoulder. "tell me what really happened, hm? it's me." you huff, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

he smiles sadly at you, shaking his head. he knows he cant lie to you. "how about we catch up over a cup of coffee, huh? my, ive been looking all over campus for you and when we finally meet after three years you dont even invite me in?" he pouts at you.

you roll your eyes at his dramatics. nice to know he hasnt changed that about himself. dare you say paris has only fed his dramatic flare? "let's go have some coffee somewhere else then, my apartment's kinda messy right now. oh! have you told felix you're back? you guys are... okay now, right?" you're careful to watch his expression at the mention of his past lover.

"no, he doesnt know im home. it kinda defeats the whole purpose of the surprise, you know?" he retorts, watching you with a fond smile as you shove your phone and keys back into your pockets. "and yes. felix and i are alright, thank you for asking."

"well, i'm sure he'd love to see you again. i know where he's working. maybe we could drop by for some drinks?"

hyunjin hums thoughtfully at that, chuckling a bit once you push open the damned metal door. "i guess it wouldnt hurt to say hello? besides. we have been... talking again."

"oh is that so?" you feign disinterest, eyes trained on the leaves that crunch under your feet.

he hums once more, squinting when he looks up, the sun beaming against his face. how he's missed its' warmth. paris was often gloomy. "we discussed possibly trying again." he says calmly, sighing with content.

you falter, "that might be good. ive always known you guys still loved each other! besides, you guys were young and stupid."

"that we were." hyunjin laughs. "well how about you and... ah- he who must not be named?"

you tense a little at that, opting to play it off with a shrug. "havent seen him around much, actually."

"well that's odd. you three were the only ones from our highschool to pass SNU and you guys dont keep in touch?"

"well i dont keep in touch with people from highschool much." you bite back.

"well how about me and felix?" he challenges.

"yea. just you two."

"arent you two in the same major?"

"we have different schedules. never aligns."

"but yuna and lia said-"

"i just dont see seungmin much, alright? that's that!" you groan, shoving your hands into your pockets.

"oh my dear y/n, nothing has changed! have you tried to patch things up with him? after all we were, hm what did you say, ah- young and stupid?"

"well he certainly was." you mumble, and hyunjin bursts out laughing. he throws an arm over your shoulder, pulling you closer against his side. "god, i've missed you."

felix absolutely adores his job. he gets to help bake in the kitchens in the morning, and then he gets to make such fun little drinks while listening to music he chooses. he loves his coworkers, and his schedule is flexible, what with the manager knowing how most of his staff are all college students. the one thing he hates though? dealing with rude customers.

"i apologize, sir. our drinks are served in plastic cups as most of our customers dont finish their drink here, it's easier to take out in case you need to leave in a hurry." felix can feel the sweat start to form at his hairline, trickling slowly down his forehead as his cheeks twitch in a forced smile.

"well if i knew you served it in plastic cups, i never would have ordered!" the middle-aged man in front of him yells, eyebrows raised. students in the cafe have started to look over, trying hard to be discreet. some look annoyed, others clearly show how they feel sorry for felix.

felix tries his best to keep his smile, but he can feel anger and annoyance rise in him like hot water boiling deep in his gut.

"what the fuck is the difference??" he wants to scream, grab the stupid plastic cup from his stupid chubby fingers and throw it right in his stupid ugly face.

"im sorry sir, is there some kind of problem here?" a calm voice calls from behind the man, who turns around in surprise.

seungmin stands with his hands in his pockets, a small smile on his lips. he's dressed in nothing fancy, a university hoodie and some sweatpants. he's only supposed to catch up with felix as he busies himself around the cafe after all. his hair is tucked neatly in his cap, the perfect image of your average college student.

felix swears he's an angel sent from the heavens.

"this is none of your business, kid." the man snorts disgustingly, waving a chubby finger in seungmin's face.

"well, actually this is a public space and you're holding up the line. so yea, it kinda is my business. besides, you're on university grounds, i have every right to be here as a student." seungmin says coolly, taking a step towards the counter so he's able to somewhat position himself in between felix and this gross ugly man.

"listen, i'm a paying customer, so-"

"and the staff has the right to refuse service to anyone unless on the basis of race, religion, or ethnicity- isn't that right, felix?"

and its like suddenly felix has found his voice. he stands a little taller, leaning forward to get closer to the man's face. "that's right."

"and you're not refusing to serve this man because hes white or anything, right?" seungmin eggs him on, throwing the man a somewhat bored look.

"no. its because hes an asshole."

"hey-" the man steps forward, hands raised.

"well you heard him!" seungmin cuts the man off before he can continue, fully stepping in front of felix now. "if you dont leave within the next ten seconds, i'm calling security. they take peace and order on school grounds very seriously, you know?"

the man huffs, turning around and slamming the door behind him so hard that the little bell that jingles near the doorframe rattles wildly seconds after he's left.

"i dont know how you deal with assholes like that, felix. id probably lose my mind." seungmin sighs, throwing his friend a tight lipped smile.

"you kinda get used to it. but i've just been so tired this finals week that i dont even have the energy to stand up for myself anymore." felix shakes his head while he wipes the counter down.

seungmin nods understandingly, lunging for the man's untouched drink before felix can throw it. "this is paid, isn't it?"

"well, yes but-"

"alright, felix look. i have a problem." seungmin slides easily into one of the stools by the counter, taking a deep sip of the man's mystery drink.

felix nods in understanding, rearranging trays and cleaning up as much as he can.

"well actually, it's more of a favor? i dont know."

felix only hums, used to seungmin's rambling by now. seungmin's just like that, needs to talk to himself aloud a little before getting straight to the point.

"im actually screwed and there's no one else i can talk to because well, there's no more shame between us, yea? we've seen each other naked and ive seen you at your lowest low and youve been there for me and-"

"wow, this is pretty serious, huh?" felix jokes, pulling up a stool so he can sit in front of his friend.

"i think i'm gonna fail a class." seungmin spits out, holding his breath immediately after as he gauges his friend's reaction.

felix's smile slowly disappears. his mouth opens and closes like a fish as he tries to figure out what to say, in a state of total shock. this goes on for about five minutes before seungmin finally whines, head dropping to his hands.

"will you say something i can actually understand, felix?"

"i'm sorry i just- i dont understand. you're.... failing? you? kim seungmin? the kim seungmin?"

"wow you really know how to comfort a guy, huh?"

"i'm sorry!" felix jumps up to pull seungmin in for a half-hug, awkwardly wrapping his arms around seungmin's chest over the counter. "i just... how? why? what subject? are you sure?"

"yes, im sure. i missed a stupid submission. a major subject. look, thats not the worst part-"

"omigod you're dying. thats the only explanation-"

"no!" seungmin whines, pushing his friend off him. "the professor said he could give me extra credit-"

"but thats good news!"

"-if im able to convince... someone.... to split the task given to them with me."

"o...kay? just turn on your puppydog charm and you're good to go."

seungmin shakes his head, as if he's about to deliver such solemn news to felix that he has to pause for dramatic effect. felix rolls his eyes.

"it's... well the person is y/n."

felix stares at his friend with wide eyes, unblinking. then he tilts his head back and lets out the most obnoxious laugh, losing his breath as his neck turns a deep shade of red, the tint spreading across his cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears.

"you're joking! oh this is just too- oh, i cant breathe, ITS KARMA!" he suddenly yells, fighting for his life to breathe in as much air as possible, wiping the tears from his eyes.

seungmin winces, but deep down he knows this reaction is deserved.

his relationship with you is... a little complicated.

you met seungmin in your freshman year of highschool. you'd just moved to seoul, the New Girl. as batch rep, he was tasked with showing you around on your first day, teaching you the ropes and making you feel welcomed.

"well yea, thats basically it!" seungmin finishes, pace slowing down as he directs you to the bench just opposite the school clinic. "do you have any questions for me?" he asks with a slight tilt of his head.

your eyes stay trained on the floor, as they have been the past 30 minutes that this strange boy has toured you around the school. you shake your head. seungmin doesnt fully understand it yet, but somewhere deep down, he feels bad for you. you seem like the shy type, and he knows how hard it is to adjust and make new friends. god knows how he would have survived middle school if it weren't for his friends.

"hey, what do you say you come meet my friends tomorrow during lunch break?" he suddenly asks. for the first time since his homeroom teacher introduced you, you look up at him.

he's taken aback by how pretty your eyes are.

"oh, really?" you ask timidly, voice small.

"i- i mean yea! we're in the same homeroom anyway, right? plus i think it'll help you adjust a little better if you had people you could talk to and hang out with." seungmin shrugs.

"yea. i'd really like that. thank you, seungmin." your voice is so low its almost like you're mumbling.

before you know it, you're spending your lunch breaks laughing along with felix as he embarrasses all of seungmin's friends one by one, wincing away from changbin as he threatens to lunge across the table to shut the younger boy up, hyunjin clinging dramatically onto his boyfriend's side instead of defending him.

you're spending your weekends at seungmin's house as chan makes you all listen to his new demo, han turning red in the face when his verse comes on. you're walking to school with jeongin- arms full of convenience store goodies as you make fun of your grumpy old maths teacher, leeknow following quietly behind you both, scolding you when you get too close to the road.

before you know it, you've found yourself a group of friends who makes highschool just that much bearable.

seungmin's completely enamored by you, coming to learn that you're at the top of every class that you have (except the ones you have with him, of course). you're just as ambitious as he is, joining the debate team and the mock un club, quickly joining the officers despite being a new student.

he's somewhat threatened by you, though he'd never admit it to himself, or to anyone else for that matter. you score higher than him in statistics, and he cant help the ugly feeling that settles in his chest when you show your paper to him, a bright blue 100 circled at the top.

he tries not to let it get to him, changing his mindset into seeing it as a healthy competition, a way for him to challenge himself even more in to doing better than you. it feeds his competitive side, staying longer than you in the library, sleeping later than you, reading more books.

this one sided competition makes him feel conflicted. he's out for your blood, and yet you're the same sweet, shy girl he's always been close to. you spend most of your time with seungmin, studying with him at his house, sleeping over when you've realized its way past ten in the evening, sneaking out of his house for a quick convenience store run.

"min, i'm hungry! lets go down to the store." you'd whine, voice slightly muffled against his soft sheets, tucked nice and warm under his blankets.

"go home, you've finished all the food here." he'd tease, not even bothering to look away from his homework.

"cant. you'd miss me after an hour." you'd retort, reaching blindly behind you for a plushie to throw at the back of his head.

"suppose that's true. can't help but be used to your presence when you're here nearly every day," he'd feign annoyance, exhaling loudly through his nose.

you'd pout at him when he'd finally turn in his chair to look over at you, already so at home, snuggling even deeper into his bed.

you really do have such pretty eyes.

"fine. grab your coat." and he'd try hard to fight his smile at the sound of your delighted squeals.

you found a way to break through his walls, chip away at the cement and reduce it to a fine dust which you've blown away. but he stands unguarded all the same, not even bothering to put up a fight when you wrestle your way into his heart.

he'd like to keep you there, he thinks.

sometimes he'd lie to himself and say that he tried. by your senior year, he managed to ruin the one good thing in his life.

how stupid was he?

amazing, really. how he was able to throw away three years of friendship for fifteen minutes of fame.

"how could you do this to me?" you hiss, dropping your backpack onto the floor of seungmin's bedroom. his back is faced towards you, gently shutting his door before he leans his forehead on it. he takes a deep breath, gathering enough courage to face you.

"y/n, i-"

"you embarrassed me in front of everyone. you told them everything, things i told you in confidence because i fucking trusted you. how could you do this to me, seungmin? how could you fucking do this to me?" your tears are hot, angry against your cheeks as you pace around his room. your voice grows louder with every word, reaching a scream when you stand in front of him.

"i wasn't thinking, y/n. i-"

"and for what? to make me look bad?" you laugh hollowly, hands flying to your hair in disbelief. "to make me look like some poor, fucking loser who's so mentally unstable she can't possibly become president of student council? was that your angle?"

there's a lump in seungmin's throat and no matter how hard he swallows, it just wont go down. he opens his mouth to speak, to defend himself, but his mouth has gone dry and his tongue tastes like sand.

"what the fuck is wrong with you? i thought we were friends? i thought we were best friends, seungmin? how could you air out all my shit like that? for a couple of votes? do you know how pathetic you are? is that how bad you want to be president? you're willing to throw me under the bus to make yourself look good?" you can taste the salty tears pooling in your mouth, snot slowly dripping down and creating a sticky mess on your face.

but you're too angry to care.

your chest hurts, like someone's kicked you to the ground and continuously stomped right in between your ribcage in an attempt to squash your heart. your head hurts from dehydration, and your neck is starting to feel sticky from the sweat that's pooled at the collar of your uniform.

"was this your master plan? you found out i was running against you so you sucked up to me, kept me close so you could get all the dirt? you fucking traitor, i cant believe i actually trusted you." your throat has gone raw from all the yelling, can feel the way your voice starts to come out hoarse.

"y/n, please. i'm so sorry i dont know what i was thinking. i just... when they asked me why they should vote for me my mind blanked and i-" he tries to get everything out as fast as he can, terrified you'll cut him off and start yelling again. but he can't continue because, holy shit, even he doesn't know why the fuck he did what he did.

"and you what? made me look fucking stupid so you rambled on for fifteen minutes about how much of a horrible person i am. god, if thats what you thought of me you shouldve let me know, seungmin! i couldve walked out of your life if i made you that miserable." you're starting to heave, all the air in the room suddenly disappearing.

"no, dont say that y/n. you're the best thing about me, you're my best fr-"

seungmin feels dizzy when your palm lands on his right cheek.

you cant stop sobbing, hands clutching at your chest as you shake your head. "fuck you," you whisper.

seungmin is stunned, frozen in the middle of his room with his mouth slightly open. he says nothing, does nothing as he watches you bend down weakly to grab your bag, sobbing through the motions of slinging it over your shoulders.

but then the panic starts to kick in when you push past him, your fingers reaching for his doorknob. his instincts kick in and hes wrapping his hand around your wrist.

"please don't go, please let's talk about this." his voice cracks. when did he start crying?"

you pause, and for a moment seungmin can feel the weight on his shoulder lift, all hope is not lost.

"its good to know where your priorities lie, seungmin. now i know you'll do anything to get ahead. even if that means hurting me." you tried to sound strong, but your voice comes out broken, a whimper.

"dont speak to me ever again."

you pull your hand away from him.

the weight on his shoulders is suddenly crushing.

and when he gave his acceptance speech in front of the entire student body, he frantically searched for your face. his heart dropped when his eyes locked with yours. eyes that once looked at him with so much warmth, care, and love- stared soullessly back at him.

he knew he fucked up the best thing in his life.

by the time you reach felix's cafe, hyunjin's whining had started to get on your nerves.

"i didn't ask you to carry it," you remind him, reaching for the strap.

he turns his body away from you, clutching your tote tighter against his side. "as if i'd let you carry this!"

yes, he was a gentleman. but a dramatic ass one.

"id honestly rather carry my bag than have to listen to you whine about how heavy it is."

"but it is so heavy! what the fuck did you put in here, rocks?"

you only roll your eyes, pushing open the glass door to the establishment. the tiny bell above the doorframe rings, announcing your arrival to the blonde boy behind the counter.

"oh my god, its soobin." you whisper under your breath, elbowing hyunjin in the ribs. he only looks at you puzzled, an eyebrow raised.

"he's so cute, ohmygod." you roll your eyes, quickly checking your blurry reflection on the glass door.

"not my type," hyunjin shrugs. you ignore him, walking straight to the counter.

"oh, hey soob!" you greet him, quickly shushing hyunjin when he starts to mock your airy tone. "is felix here?" you smile sweetly, trying to tame your hair from the mess caused by the strong winds outside.

"oh yea, he's over there in the booth by the window. he's not alone though," he says, wiping down the counter after spilling a few shaves of ice.

"oh, who's he with?" you ask, already making your way down the counter.

"dunno, the dude looks kinda stressed, to be honest." he shrugs, turning away from you when the bell lets him know he's got another customer to serve.

he's with a guy? he's not on a date is he? no- he wouldve told you. besides, he wouldnt have led hyunjin on either.

hyunjin follows behind you as you make your way towards the booth, heaving dramatically as he swings your tote bag off his shoulders. he crouches behind you, snickering to himself as you both slowly walk to the table, strands of felix's hair peeking out from the opposite bench.

"surprise!" hyunjin jumps from behind you, smile swiftly morphing into a face of shock, his mouth forming a small 'o'.

"holy shit, hyune! what are you doing here?"

your heart drops to the pit of your stomach. that voice-

"s-seungmin, i didnt know you were with felix."

you freeze, jaw dropped as seungmin stands. he clearly hasn't seen you yet, back facing you as he pulls hyunjin in for a hug, squeezing him tightly.

"i thought you were in paris?" felix squeals, sliding out of the booth and joining the three for a big bear hug. he's the one who finally notices you a few feet away, his smile dropping.

"y/n." he breathes, eyes wide.

when seungmin turns around, its almost as if in its slow motion.

he looks almost exactly the same, his hair a little longer, shaggier. his eyes look more tired, little bags under his eyes give away the sleepless nights he's become familiar with. his cheeks slowly turn a light pink, dusting across his nose all the way to the tip of his ears. he's dressed the way you remember him, loose comfy clothes.

he looks good, you think. you shake the thought away.

"oh, y/n." seungmin's voice is small as he locks eyes with you.

fuck, your eyes.

his first time seeing you in three years and he hates how you manage to steal his breath away. you've changed your hair, cut it a little shorter and dyed it lighter. you've pierced your ears, little sunflower earrings peaking from beneath your hair. you look so much more mature, your style has definitely changed.

but your eyes, they shine just as bright as he remembers. good to know his memory hasnt failed him yet.

"i didn't know you were coming, y/n." felix shoots you an apologetic glance, lips pursed and eyes wide.

"but i always come visit you on thursdays." you say flatly.

"yea but-"

"awh look! it's been a while since we've all seen each other, huh?" hyunjin cuts in, trying desperately to ease the tension. seungmin stays standing still, gawking stupidly at you. you try your best to pretend like you cant feel his gaze.

"yea, some of us made that decision on purpose." you mutter under your breath, but you don't miss the way seungmin's eye twitch.

felix smiles, lacing his hand with hyunjin's. "it's really been too long," he whispers, as if only meant for his lover.

"i'd really love if we could all spend some time together." hyunjin's eyes find yours, wide and pleading. "please?"

you offer him a tight lipped smile.

its already so awkward, the way felix and hyunjin slide naturally into the booth, beginning to chatter away. it leaves you and seungmin standing, stubbornly avoiding eye contact.

"do you- do you want to sit near the window, or?" seungmin's voice is small, eyes glued to the floor.

you shrug.

he nods, climbing in anyway. you take a deep breath before you move, reluctantly climbing onto the booth after him. you leave a considerable amount of space between the two of you, and seungmin can't help but roll his eyes.

it's been nearly three years, he thinks. how are you still holding a grudge against him? he clears his throat, about to start some small talk, but something stops him. maybe its the way you deliberately angle your body away from him, or the way you pull your phone out to scroll aimlessly, almost as if you were anticipating his move.

"so, how was paris?" seungmin asks hyunjin instead, shifting his body away from you. fine, be like that. at least hes not immature enough to make things awkward on purpose.

"oh, it was so romantic!" hyunjin exclaims, throwing his arm over felix's shoulder and resting it on the back of their booth. "it was a little depressing, actually. being in such a beautiful place all alone."

"well yea, but it was worth it right? who wouldve thought your one true love was right here all along." you tease, wiggling your eyebrows up and down.

"yea so is yours!" hyunjin teases you back. you only stick your tongue out.

beside you, seungmin tenses. surely, hyunjin isnt implying that he could be your true love, could he? the thought makes chest ache, an odd yearning to move closer to you, to let his fingers "accidentally" brush against yours-

"oh, soobin!" felix giggles, catching on.

seungmin's always hated that guy. from the moment he met soobin thirty minutes ago, he knew something was off. you can't date soobin, he wouldnt know how to take care of you. with his stupid blonde hair, his stupid bunny smile, his stupidly large eyes.

he bets soobin doesnt even know what your favorite type of ramen is, what your go-to snacks are, what your favorite flavor of ice cream is. important things that a lover should know.

things he knows.

oh, where'd that thought come from?

"shut up, you guys!" you hiss, checking to see if soobin is within earshot. you frown at felix, swatting across the table at his chest.

"what do you mean? you guys would look so cute together." hyunjin argues, quickly turning to catch a glimpse of soobin. you hide your face in your hands, profusely shaking your head as you sink deeper into the booth.

seungmin cant help the feeling of jealousy that bubbles deep in his gut. hes half scared hes going to projectile vomit all over the table when you straighten yourself out, sneaking a peek at the blonde boy who busies himself with creating a customer's drink.

"im probably not his type." you mumble.

"you're not." seungmin's shocked at the word that's slipped, hand quickly coming up to cover his mouth in shock.

all eyes are on him, and he can see the way you look at him, with your empty eyes staring right at his face. he hates it when you look at him like that, misses the way your eyes used to shine just for him.

"actually you know what, im getting kinda tired, i think im gonna go home instead." you blurt out, already reaching for your bag.

hyunjin's hand finds yours on the table, and he squeezes gently. "really?"

you swiftly pull your hand away. "yes. really."

"you know what, it doesnt matter. i actually made a reservation for us lixie. wasn't planning on staying long anyways. just wanted to surprise you." hyunjin sings sweetly, brushing away a stand of hair that had fallen on felix's cheek.

"yea, i think i'm gonna head home too." seungmin clears his throat.

just then, the sound of thunder roars outside, clouds a dark grey as they hang low.

fuck. just when you decided not to bring an umbrella.

"yea, i think we better get going. dont wanna get caught in the rain." felix sighs, gathering his stuff and offering hyunjin his hand.

"dont you have spare umbrellas here, lix? maybe we could borrow them. you know, just in case." as if on cue, the rain starts to come down heavily, droplets splattering against the window.

"yea, but there's only two." felix mutters, quickly slipping behind the counter to grab two black umbrellas leaning against the wall. "hyunjin and i can share, and maybe you and y/n-"

"i'm fine." you say stubbornly, arms crossed in front of your chest.

you'd rather die than spend two seconds alone with kim seungmin.

"oh dont say that, you'll get drenched and catch a cold." hyunjin sighs, grabbing one of the umbrellas from felix's hand and offering it to you.

"i'd actually prefer that, thanks." you snap, swatting his hand away.

hyunjin opens his mouth to berate you, but seungmin quickly steps in, reaching for the umbrella. "i'll handle this guys, you go enjoy your dinner."

you fume at that. 'oh he'll handle it? who the fuck does this guy think he is?'

you roll your eyes, pushing past your friends and heading for the door. you stand under the roof, crossing your arms in front of your chest as a cold chill blows past you. hyunjin and felix soon exit as well, wrapped tightly in their coats, hands entwined.

hyunjin steps towards you, pulling you in for a hug despite your protests. "be nice," he whispers, before planting a kiss on your cheek. you make a move to wipe it away, but hesitate when you see hyunjin pout.

"have a nice date." you mumble, watching as the pair huddles close under the umbrella, making their way to felix's car.

you hear the door open, and you hold your breath.

"let me walk you home." seungmin offers, his tone stern. this only ticks you off, wanting nothing more than to defy him despite his offer being in your best interest. your apartment is a good walk away, and the papers in your tote bag risk the chance of getting wet.

"i mean you- you live near my building, right?" he pleads, clicking his umbrella open. he waits patiently for you to respond, standing awkwardly by the sidewalk as you fight with your pride.

you nod, and thats all seungmin needs. he's by your side in an instant, holding the umbrella nearer to your side to ensure that not even an inch of you gets wet from the rain. his left side is already completely soaked, cringing at the feel of his cold hoodie sticking to his skin, but he ignores it. you set a fast pace, and his heart hurts at the though that it's probably because you can't stand to spend more time with him than you need to.

he notices you wince from the weight of your bag, taking a deep breath as you readjust the strap from falling off your shoulder.

"let me carry it," he's being bold, already reaching for the damn thing before you can say anything.

"i dont need any more favors." you snap, the first words you've directly said to him in nearly three years. he's glad you've at least acknowledged his existence now, but your words are sharp.

he lets it go, humming to let you know that he heard you. your pace quickens just a bit, eager to get home, out of the rain, and away from seungmin. your tote swings from the movement, getting caught on a nearby bush and very nearly pulling you back.

you lose your balance and slip, falling flat on your butt on the wet pavement. you try to brake your fall, scratching your palms in the process.

"oh my god, are you okay?" seungmin rushes down, still holding the umbrella over your head. he offers his hand to help you up, but you swat it away.

"i'm fine, alright? god, stop hovering!" you yell, pushing down on your scratched palms to help yourself up. you wince at the pain, brushing off tiny pebbles and bits of gravel from your open wound.

"y/n, you're bleeding." seungmin gawks, hand reaching out to touch yours. you quickly yank it out of his reach, almost as if you were hiding your palm from him.

"yea, thanks for the info." you mumble, trying your best to wipe away the mud that's splattered all over your jeans. seungmin moves quickly while you're preoccupied, crouching down to grab at your tote bag. he ignores your whines of protest, slinging it over his shoulder.

you let out a groan when he refuses to hand it back to you. "fine, whatever. suffer." you grumble, crossing your arms before walking away. seungmin quickly catches up to you, shielding you from the rain.

the walk home is painfully quiet. you're hyperaware of every movement he makes, every time he inhales, the way he clears his throat, as if he's about to say something before he changes his mind. all these emotions swirl angirly inside of you, most of them you cant even begin to comprehend.

because for some reason, you miss him. and it hits you like a truck when the sleeve of his hoodie grazes your elbow, the soft cloth reaching for you. it takes everything in you not to break down and grab for him, to hold him close and strangle him, to wrap your arms around him and hug him so tight he loses breath and dies of suffocation.

he smells the same, like the seungmin you remember who used to walk you home after band practice. the seungmin who held your hand in secret as you walked through the haunted house that one halloween. the seungmin who'd sing to you, alone in his room with his guitar on his lap.

your seungmin.

how could this stranger beside you be your seungmin?

how is it possible that the very same person who knows your deepest darkest secrets, your most embarrassing moments, your dreams and fears- is someone who doesn't know you at all?

seungmin stands stiff beside you as you reach the lobby of your apartment, shaking the little droplets of rain off the umbrella. he opens the door for you, urging you to enter before him.

"i'll have my bag back now, thanks." you say in monotone, eyes not even meeting his.

"let me carry it up." a bold request.

"i'm fine now, you know? im not some damsel in distress in need of saving." you mumble, standing your ground.

seungmin ignores you, already walking towards the elevator. he leaves it on hold, waiting a few seconds before you enter as well, grumbling under your breath.

once you reach your floor, you lead the way to your room, with seungmin trailing slowly behind you. he's shivering a little from the cold, the wet of his jacket only making the draft on the floor feel like ice against his skin. you notice, the little devil on your shoulder pleased at his suffering.

but there's another side of you that softens when you notice the way his teeth chatter, a shudder going down his whole body. god, you're gonna regret even opening your mouth-

"you can come in to warm up a little." you mumble, reaching into your coat pocket to fetch your keys.

seungmin merely blinks at you, unsure if he heard you correctly, or if his imagination was so strong that he managed to picture you saying the thing he so desperately wanted to hear.

but then you walk in, and you leave your door open. for him.

"oh, thanks." seungmin mutters awkwardly, reaching for the cup of tea you offer him. the warmth spreads from his fingertips to his palms, and he's genuinely grateful for the heat it provides. you only hum, grabbing your tote bag from the floor and setting it on the couch.

you pour yourself a cup, sitting directly opposite of the strange boy in your apartment. you blow away some of the steam that rises from the cup, eyes trained on the way the liquid ripples from the force of your breath.

seungmin opens his mouth to speak, but he cant seem to find the words to say what he wants to say. i'm sorry? no thats too lame. i miss you? fuck no, way too forward. how about-

"you're shivering." you point out, staring directly into seungmin's eyes.

his breath hitches. you're looking at him.

actually looking at him.

"oh, i- i didn't even notice." he lies. despite the fact that you turned your heater on, he's fucking freezing. his hoodie is heavy with rain and damp against his skin, sending shivers all the way up his arm and down his spine.

suddenly you stand, retreating into your room without a word. seungmin's confused, unsure if that's his cue that he's overstayed his welcome. but then you come back into the kitchen after a few seconds, holding a large blue hoodie in your arms.

his heart clenches when you unfurl it, revealing the old hoodie he'd given you a month before your graduation. he didnt even know you got it in the mail when he sent it. you werent even talking to him at that point. does that mean you'd gotten his letter too?

"well, i didnt wanna get rid of it, you know? would be a waste." you mumble. you toss it over to him, the cloth landing on his lap with a soft thud. he looks stupidly down at it, brain malfunctioning.

"you should change out of your sweater. you're wet. dripping all over my floor." you grumble, snatching seungmin's empty cup and setting it down on the counter behind him.

"you kept it?" seungmin whispers.

"like i said. didnt want it-"

"you kept it." seungmin turns to look at you.

his deep brown eyes are hopeful, crease in his brows giving away the myriad of emotions swirling deep in his stomach.

you stay silent, back turned towards him. you can feel the tears that pool behind your eyelids, threatening to fall as you hold yourself over the sink, turning your head completely away from seungmin. you hear the sound of fabric rustling, and your cheeks warm at the thought of him undressing in the middle of your kitchen.

the sound of wood scratching against your kitchen tiles is loud, the abruptness of seungmin standing up nearly sending the chair backwards.

"smells like you." he whispers. he cant trust his voice.

he takes a step towards you, your back still towards him.

"i think its time for you to go." you hiccup, a steady stream of tears flowing down your cheeks.

"look at me." seungmin begs, taking another step.

"you should go now, seungmin."

"look me in the eye when you tell me. then i will."

he's getting bold, standing right behind you, his chest pressing the back of your head. you whirl around, ready to yell at him, to scream at him, to slap him, to furl your hands into fists and beat against his chest.

but he's quicker, wrapping both his arms around your shoulders and pressing you close to him, tucking your head under his chin. he holds you like this for so long you figure its been hours. you stain the front of his chest with your tears, hands weakly wrapping around him, fingers curling into the fabric.

he still feels like seungmin.

your seungmin.

"you kept it. you got my letter too, didn't you sweetheart?" he whispers, as if afraid raising his voice would ruin the spell.

you sob violently against his chest, holding him tighter against you.

"i meant every single word," he squeezes you tightly, "i'm so sorry."

"you're an asshole, kim seungmin." you sob, shaking your head.

"i know, i know. i'm so sorry." he shushes you, smoothing down your hair, planting a soft kiss on the top of your head.

"do you know how much it hurts?" you sob, pulling away from him. "i see you almost everyday. you have the face of someone who knows every single thing about me, but you're a complete stranger to me." you sob into your hands, pouring your heart out to him.

"i know," he sniffles, wiping away the snot under your nose with his free hand.

"no, you dont. stop fucking saying that." you pull your face away from him, pushing his hand down. "you were my best friend and you- now its like i dont know you and-" you're hiccuping, heaving, out of breath as you break down.

"i'm sorry, sweetheart, okay? i'm so so sorry. i was so stupid,"

"well yea!" you yell, falling into him when he opens his arms up to you.

he chuckles dryly at that, holding you tightly against him, as if terrified you'd change your mind and kick him out of your home. and he cant bear to see it, the way you look up at him with tears in your eyes, bloodshot red and full of resentment. he wants to fix it so bad, misses the way you'd hold softness in your eyes reserved especially for him.

"i'll make it right," he promises, nuzzling his cheek against the top of your head. "i'll prove it to you, okay? i promise."

you sniffle, shaking your head. "i- i dont know,"

"hey, look at me." seungmin pulls you away from him, bending slightly so you're eye to eye. "i promise, i'll do everything i can to gain back your trust. i just miss you so much, y/n. i- i really fucked up and to this day it remains my greatest regret."

you stay quiet, eyes flickering between either of his. "even more than when you shaved your head that one summer?" you joke weakly.

seungmin can feel his heart pounding at the sight of your small smile. he thinks he sees your eyes twinkle. "yes, sweetheart. even more than that. i just... please. give me another chance. give me a chance to make it right with you, y/n."

you take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. seungmin's steadily crying, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand as he looks at you, expectantly. you stay quiet for so long seungmin can hear the blood rushing all the way to his head, going dizzy with anticipation and fear.

"you'll have to buy me lots of gummies, you know?" you mumble, looking up at him.

fuck. he'd buy you all the gummies in the world if it meant you'd keep looking at him with those eyes.

the words on your screen have started to blur altogether, vision hazy as you mindlessly scroll through the hundreds of pages of readings and notes youve been reviewing for the past...... god, was there even a time you weren't studying? even the music playing through your headphones have lost its appeal, sounding more and more like radio static.

you jolt out of your trance at the sound of books slamming against the surface of your table, which shakes under the weight. you quickly pull your headphones off and look up at the intruder, who smiles sheepishly at you.

"sorry, did i wake you?" seungmin asks, pulling up a chair beside you.

"no, you saved me." you groan, stretching your whole body until your limbs start to vibrate.

seungmin only laughs, sinking deep into his chair. he takes his cap off and runs his fingers through his hair. he scoots a little closer to you, then bends the other way to retrieve a little brown paper bag.

"i brought you breakfast." he says, rolling his eyes at the way you pout at him.

"seungmin, you didnt!" you gasp, receiving the tall cup of iced coffee with eager hands.

"i did this for myself, actually." he claims, pulling out some warm bread to share with you. "dont want you grumpy all morning. what time did you come in? you look like shit. no offense."

you shrug, taking a long sip of the cold drink.

"wait, weren't you wearing that last night when i left? y/n.. dont- oh my god, dont tell me you spent the whole night here?"

you stare blankly back at him. "our final exam is in three days."

"do you plan on staying awake until then?" seungmin bites sarcastically, and you kick his chair.

"i have to atleast get a 97 on his exam or else i wont finish his class with high honors." you whine, running your fingers through your hair in frustration.

you're so much like him, seungmin thinks. he, too, is familiar with sacrificing his happiness for a perfect grade. except now he has to work just as hard as you just to pass. the thought leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

"you have to get some sleep or you wont finish his class at all." he threatens, staring down at you.

you only frown, but you dont need that much convincing, as you're already closing your laptop shut, scooting your chair just that much closer to seungmin's so your arm grazes his.

"wake me up in thirty minutes." you grumble, linking your arm with his and resting your head on his shoulder. he raises it a little to grant you comfort, unbothered by the fact that his arm will inevitably start to tense and ache.

"sweet dreams," he hums, discreetly kissing the top of your head as he pretends to look at the empty chair next to you.

ten minutes pass, and you're already snoring. your fair falls in a mess in front of your face, and seungmin has to hold back from sweeping your hair away in fear that he'd accidentally wake you up. he cant help but feel his chest swell at the feeling of you leaning on him, he feels like a highschooler high with giddiness, trying hard not to vibrate in his seat.

screw the readings, he can barely keep you out of his head. this past month has been an absolute dream to him, spending every waking moment by your side. treating you to almost every single meal, keeping you company as you run your errands, crashing at yours to study and just goof around.

this is how he remembers you- full of life, playful, just a little mischievous. so positively alluring that seungmin feels himself falling in love with you. it hit him like a brick that night you passed out with papers strewn across your bed, your limbs tangling with his. he didnt sleep a wink that night, too busy studying your face. you looked so peaceful, he remembers, burying your face in the crook of his neck and holding him tightly in your sleep.

he looks down at you now, cant stop the smile from spreading across his face. he'll let you sleep for a little longer, he decides. he doesnt care if you get upset with him (you will), you deserve the rest. seungmin's about to finally clear his head of you and actually get some studying done when he locks eyes with a tall blonde from across the room.

god, of all the people.

"oh, hey! seungmin, right? felix's friend?" soobin says in a low voice as he approaches the table.

"yea, soobin right?" stupid fucking name.

"yea. hey- is that y/n?" he nods towards your sleeping figure.

ew. stop looking at her. "oh, yea. she passed out."

"damn, she's really studious, huh? ran into her late last night when she was here all alone." soobin sighs, frowning at you.

seungmin wants to puke at the thought of you spending time alone with soobin. he wants to ask him so many questions like- how long did you talk to her for? what did you guys talk about? how much can i pay you to leave her alone?

"yea, shes hardworking. i admire her for that." seungmin smiles fondly.

"oh... wait- are.. are you guys, like, a thing? or something?" soobin takes a step back and seungmin's breath hitches in his throat.

"cuz if you guys are, i can totally back off, you know?"

seungmin stays silent, weighing his options. he could lie and say you guys were dating, but if you found out, you'd probably hate him and ignore him for the rest of his life and he'd rather die than let that happen. on the other hand, if he tells the truth, soobin would obviously try to pursure you. and he knows you have a little crush on him too.

seungmin bites his lower lip, then shakes his head. "nah, we're just friends." seungmin can feel some bile rise in his throat. not for long, he thinks cockily.

"oh, cool cool. uhm, if you could do me a favor, man? just... i dunno ask her to go to the cafe again this week? maybe i'll work up the courage to ask her out or something." soobin chuckles, cheeks turning a deep red.

seungmin can only nod. finally soobin offers him a small smile and leaves. there's a heavy feeling in seungmin's stomach, almost as if he'd been punched in the gut. he cant even begin to imagine you dating someone else, in fear that he'd just break down right then and there.

its kinda pathetic, really. you're not even his yet and he's already thinking of all the ways he can get soobin to leave you alone. he wants to print a large sign that says "do not approach, angry guard dog will bite" over your head, just to keep everyone else away from you.

god, since when was he this possessive?

he spends the next forty minutes thinking of ways to get you to be his. and when you finally stir awake, the first thing that seungmin says is-

"we should stop going to felix's cafe."

obviously, you dont listen.

you go to felix's cafe anyways, except you're always alone. seungmin doesn't need to know where you go every thursday afternoon while he's in class, anyways. he never told you why he wanted you to stop coming here, but you have a hunch. a tall, blonde, stupidly handsome hunch.

"y/n!" soobin greets you warmly, leaning over the counter to get a better look at your face.

"hey, soob." your cheeks warm.

you know that nothing is going on between you and seungmin, but you can't help but feel guilty doing exactly the opposite of what he asked of you. but something's shifted the past few days you've been spending with seungmin, almost as if you're seeing each other in this new light. you push this thought to the back of your head like you always do, telling soobin your order and waiting for felix at your booth.

by the time soobin brings the food to you, your phone rings.

fuck. its seungmin.

"hello?"

"hey, my classes ended a little early today. where are you?"

"oh, uhm im-"

oh my god lie faster.

"yea?" you can hear him huffing, obviously walking around campus, probably looking for you.

"at the library." you spit, looking outside the window, frozen with paranoia. lying to him feels so so wrong.

"its wednesday, y/n. library's closed."

oh my fucking god, lie better.

"i went to meet felix." you finally admit, shrinking into your seat.

you hear seungmin sigh. "is he out already?"

"no," you mumble.

"so you're alone?"

you hum.

"im on my way."

he hangs up, and you let out a sigh.

finally, felix barges out from the kitchens and quickly clocks out, throwing his apron over his head and hanging it on the hook by the door. he smiles when he sees you, nearly leaping over the counter to get to you.

"hello, my dear y/n." felix hums, kissing you quickly on the cheek and settling on the booth opposite from you.

"hello, my dear lixie." you hum, pushing a plate of waffles in front of him. "for you, your usual."

felix groans with hunger, fixing his plate with a heavy load of syrup and a huge dollop of butter. "so, how are things? any important new updates this week?"

you shrug, taking a sip of your iced coffee. "nothing new, really..... except, i guess...."

felix hums, urging you to continue.

you let out a deep breath, shaking your head. "i think... i think something's going on between seungmin and i."

you bite the inside of your cheek at felix's reaction, mouth agape as he stares blankly at you. it takes him a moment to process before he finally swallows the food in his mouth and he lets out an evil giggle. "oh, this is... oh, hyunjin owes me so much money!"

"you prick!" you gasp, swatting at felix's arm. "you guys bet on us?"

"well, i mean, come on! it was sooo obvious, i mean, it was only a matter of time, you know?" felix shrugs, cutting up another piece of his waffle.

"no, i do not know!" you squeal, piercing the piece with your fork and stuffing it into your mouth, ignoring your friend's whines of protest. "you guys thought seungmin and i would end up together?"

"well yea, everyone with eyes thought so! come on, y/n. he's looked at you like a lovesick puppy since highschool." felix rolls his eyes. "you guys were always together, and he knew you better than all of us combined. not to mention how lifeless you both were the two years you werent talking. i mean seriously, it was like hanging out with a couple of zombies."

your cheeks warm. "but- im still not even sure of how he feels about me."

"wow. love does make you oblivious as fuck, or whatever they say." felix shakes his head, chugging down his vanilla milkshake before he suddenly remembers something.

"does that mean you're gonna let him help you grade the papers for extra credit?"

you freeze. "what?"

"yea, seungmin said he needs to convince you or else he'd fail, or something. you guys talked about it already, or?"

your breath falters, and your brows furrow. "seungmin's failing a class?"

felix swallows. he cant shake off the feeling that he said something he shouldnt have. but he could never keep a secret from you.

"well- yes. his prof said he needed to convince you to help him get extra credit."

"wait, when was this?" you ask, voice stern.

oh, felix is soooo in deep shit. "uhm, like the day you guys started talking again."

your heart drops to your ass. surely, thats not the whole reason why he was so desperate to talk to you again, right? but you cant shake away the feeling, remembering back to highschool when he'd done almost the exact same thing.

but he promised. he promised it'd be different this time, right?

"seungmin told you that he needed to convince me to let him grade some papers?" you clarify.

"yea."

"and what did you say?"

"i uhm- i told him to like, turn on his charm or something along those lines."

you scoff in disbelief.

felix is going to hell. "but, that was my advice before i knew it was you! i just... i know seungmin needed some help and he'd do anything to get a good grade so i figured he was extra desperate because he was borderline failing and i was just so shocked and-"

"felix, just stop talking." you mumble, leaning back against the booth.

felix only nods, wringing his hands in nervousness. he opens his mouth to speak, but you shoot him a glare. he falls silent again, nervously gnawing on his bottom lip.

your mind's racing, going 100 miles an hour as you go through every moment youve had with seungmin this past month. obviously, this favor is not the only reason he tried hard to convince you to talk to him again, right?

but theres a small voice inside of you, the one who remembers the harsh pain seungmin caused that's screaming, telling you to cut him off, shut him out before he can hurt you all over again.

by the time seungmin pulls open the glass door, you've made up your mind.

"he-"

"this is the last time i let you break my heart, kim seungmin." you say firmly, brushing past him.

seungmin can only stand, frozen. his heart drops to his stomach, head going fuzzy as his gaze lands on felix. he opens his mouth to say something, but he cant find the words.

"what did you say?" seungmin asks.

"im sorry, i didnt know, i thought-"

seungmin's rushing out, throwing the door wide open as he runs out into the street. he can feel his heart pumping as he pushes through crowds of people, racing towards you. he can hear his blood rushing, catching sight of your yellow sundress as you're pushing open your apartment building. seungmin's never been a runner, hell, he nearly failed PE in highschool when he was forced to run laps a whole semester. but right now? he feels like the fucking flash.

he yells for you, ignoring the stitch in his side as he manages to somewhat catch up to you. by the time he throws open the heavy metal door to your apartment complex, the elevator doors are closing, your eyes locking with his.

"fuck." seungmin heaves, bending down to rest his hands on his knees. he needs to reach you before you lock him out of your room. he knows how stubborn you can be, you could probably ignore his pleas and incessant knocking for days if you had to.

seungmin gags, shaking his limbs before he bolts up the stairs, taking two steps at a time, pushing his legs to work faster. the backpack on his shoulders is heavy but he could care less. he cant risk losing you again.

sweat flows freely from his forehead by the time he reaches your floor, and by some miracle, he catches you walking down the hall.

"y/n!" he heaves, sliding his bag off his shoulders and leaving it right there in the hall. "please-"

"go away, seungmin." your voice cracks, digging for your keys in your bag.

he shakes his head, jogging up to you before you can close the door in his face. he sticks his shoe in the closing gap, groaning when it gets stuck between your door and the frame.

"what the fuck?" you yell, backing up as seungmin forces his way into your apartment, closing the door behind him.

"no you- you have to hear me out." he's panting, vision going blurry. jesus christ, he was out of shape.

"you want to talk about it?" you challenge, shrugging your coat off and throwing it on the floor.

"yes." he heaves, leaning against the wall.

"okay, lets talk about it. is it true that you wanted to convince me to help you get extra credit?" your hands are crossed in front of you. seungmin's admittedly a little scared.

"yes, but-"

"but what? i wasnt supposed to find out?"

"no! that was before-"

"before what?" you take a step closer, crowding him in.

"before i realized i was in love with you!" seungmin yells, hiding his face in his hands.

you're silent, expression stoic. "you're sick." you whisper, unsure of yourself. your heart is racing, and you take a step back. "dont... dont say that."

"but its the truth!" seungmin's desperate know, tears welling in his eyes. it wasnt supposed to happen like this. he was supposed to take you out, confess his feelings for you properly, but now its all ruined and rushed and- oh, when he gets his hands on lee felix-

"the truth?" you scoff, shaking your head at him. "how am i supposed to believe you? with everything that... that's happened?"

"you're going to have to trust me." seungmin steps forward, hesitant. he can see the doubt in your eyes and it makes him sick. he'd run up 10 flights of stairs if it meant you'd never look at him like that again.

"trust me when i say that i was a fucking fool in highschool for hurting you, and i spend every day thinking about how if i could, i would go back in time to change everything." he takes another step forward, backing you against the door to your bedroom.

"that i wasted two and a half years of my life by not spending them with you, knowing that you were so near me, that i could easily walk up to you but i was too embarrassed, too scared you'd shut me out." seungmin's baring his soul out, but its too late to stop.

"that i thought about you every single day, thought about what could have been if i wasnt so stupid. that ive spent the last few months doing everything i can to prove to you that i would never ever hurt you like that ever again. but with you im just so stupid, i feel like im always doing the wrong things because youre all up in my head taking up all the space and i fucking love that i cant think about anything but you."

you can only stare up at him. you can see the way his gaze flickers away from you, too nervous to maintain eye contact. he reaches out to you, fingers hesitantly brushing against the back of your hand. testing. you pull away from his touch to wipe away the tear that's managed to slip away, clearing your throat. he tilts his head, hands settling firmly on your waist.

"i love you, y/n. please, you have to believe me."

he's waiting for you to say something, anything. he's never poured his heart out like that before, the silence eating away at him as he slowly spirals, overthinking every word he's said.

but then you relax in his hold, pressing your chest subtly against his. and he knows there's hope.

"are you really failing a class?" you whisper, and seungmin can only laugh.

"that's your concern?" he leans down, dragging the tip of his nose against your cheek. he inhales deeply, nuzzling against you.

"well, yes." you gently push him away by the shoulder, looking up at him. "i cant have my boyfriend failing any of his classes."

seungmin smiles, absolutely melting when you wrap your arms around his neck. "oh yea? does that mean you'll let me in on the extra credit?"

"you are on thin, thin ice, seungmin." you warn, reaching up to finally press your lips against his. seungmin absolutely melts, letting out a low groan at your taste. one hand on your waist, seungmin leans into you, reaching behind you to open your bedroom door. you gasp when you lose balance, recovering quickly when seungmin walks you backwards, never once pulling away from you until the back of your knees hit your bed.

you let out a squeal when you fall back, seungmin expertly finding his way in between your legs. "tell me you want me," seungmin commands in between kisses, hands roaming up and down your sides.

"i do. i want you." you breathe, pushing off seungmin's jacket.

"yea?" seungmin hums, pulling back to bunch up your dress until it sits just below your ribcage. he leans back, simply staring down at you with stars in his eyes.

"stop staring at me." you mumble shyly, turning your head to the side.

"dont want to," seungmin hums, quickly throwing his shirt off into a random corner of your room. "ill look at my girl as long as i like." he leans down, capturing your lips with his.

"your girl, hmm?" you hum, smiling as he kisses his way up your stomach, fingers gripping onto the hem of your dress. your breath hitches when his fingers brush against your under boob. he smiles against your skin, looking up at you.

"aren't- arent you going to take my dress off?" you whisper into the air, and seungmin stops his teasing kisses against your hip.

"well, i was going to but then.." he kisses over the fabric, planting a wet kiss in between your breasts before latching onto your neck for a playful bite. "then i thought about how i want to fuck you in it and then take you out to dinner after."

your cheeks grow red, lightly slapping his arm at his vulgarity. "doesnt that sound better, baby?" seungmin hums, playing with the hem of your underwear.

your breath goes shaky as seungmin continues to toy with you, pads of his fingers lightly pressing against your clit from over your underwear, providing the littlest bit of friction, but enough to drive you crazy.

"seungmin, please-"

"please, what?" he teases, hips pressing into your thigh. you can feel him through his sweats, hard and aching against you. he begins to grind against you, gentle enough to tease you and get him off at the same time.

"need you to touch me." you huff, frustrated.

"i am, baby." seungmin chuckles, pads of his fingers pressing against you firmly, trailing down until he teases your entrance, soiling the fabric of your underwear with how wet you are.

"you know what i mean," you whine.

seungmin only hums, lowering his sweats just enough to free his cock. he pulls your underwear to the side, exposing your cunt to the cold air of the room, making you shiver.

"you're so wet, baby. bet i could slide right in, huh?" seungmin teases you with his tip, tapping it firmly against your clit and trailing down to coat himself in you.

"god, just put it in, minnie." you sigh, grabbing at his shoulders.

"minnie?" seungmin smirks, nosing against your jaw. "i like that."

he finally presses in, slowly making sure you feel every inch of him. you wince a bit at the pain, and seungmin notices with a coo. he pulls your hands away from his shoulders to hold against your bed, fingers intertwining with yours.

"i'm sorry, does it hurt?" he coos, slowly pulling out to thrust back in.

"a little, its okay. kiss me."

seungmin obeys, leaning down to kiss you sweetly as he starts at an even pace. he's slow with it, stroking so deep you can feel him in your throat. it feels intimate this way, with his hands in yours, his chest pressed firmly against you. he pants into your mouth, kissing you when you start to moan too loudly.

"tell me you love me." seungmin sighs, resting his forehead against yours.

you nod, "i love you. love you minnie."

seungmin lets out a groan at that, pulling one hand away to sneak in between your bodies, tips of his fingers finding your clit. he starts to move them in circles, your high fast approaching.

"i'm gonna cum," you whine, squeezing his hand.

"cum with me, baby. please," he begs, holding you so tight against him you feel the air knocked out of you with every thrust. you cum with a whine of his name, fingers digging into the back of his hand. his hips stutter before he presses as deep as he can into you, groaning loudly as he mouths at your neck.

you're both sweaty and sticky, but seungmin pays no mind as he collapses completely on top of you, wrapping his limbs around you. he looks up at you when his breathing starts to even, a cheeky grin on his face.

"what," you laugh, pushing him away by the shoulder when he leans in to kiss you.

he loves the sound of your happiness, basking in it as he shifts closer to pull you into his side. you happily comply, ignoring the mess in between your legs in favor of cuddling up to your lover.

"i really do love you." seungmin reassures, and you roll your eyes.

"i love you too. really." you hum, kissing his shoulder. "now clean me up, and dont even think about falling asleep."

seungmin groans, rolling off your bed to reach for a towel to wet. "but we have plenty of time before dinner. we can nap!"

"no, i will nap." seungmin frowns, walking into your bathroom and turning the faucet on.

"and what do you expect me to do?" seungmin says once he returns to the room, eyebrows raised.

"you, will check all the papers left in my bag." seungmin only laughs, leaning down to wipe in between your thighs, careful to get every drop.

"then can we get dinner?" he asks, pout on his lips.

"yes. your treat."

"well, duh."

as you close your eyes and start to drift off to sleep, seungmin only watches, hunched over on your bedroom floor, hundreds of papers scattered in front of him. he prays he'll be able to get it together and pry his eyes away from you to actually get some work done.

he seriously doubts it.

taglist: comment if you want to be added or removed!

@pochamin22 @bee123sthings @ohnocent @hyunchannie017 @r1n4 @heluvschibi @kpop-obsessed-all-the-time @elizalabs3 @uknowme-not @bee123sthings @n034sy

[m0chis-cafe]

Hello! This is my first time making a request, if it's okay, can I get a reader with Lillia, Rook, Vil and Leona who has recently been suffering from insomnia and anxiety about returning home (comfort in the end) Please? 😔🎀

i absolutely love this, i get horrible insomia. i gotchu♡

(edit: i ended up focusing on one more than the other in some, but both are mentioned. hope u still like it *mwah*)

reader suffering from insomnia and anxiety about returning home.. ⋆⑅˚₊

word count: 1.5k

warnings: mentioning of anxiety, and panic attacks (there will be major comfort though), sitting in laps, kissing, joking to help, mentioning of what happens in each of the characters books (i hope yall have read em before but js in case)

characters: leona, rook, vil, and lilia

leona kingscholar🦁

you paced the botanical gardens on campus, hands tangling in your hair s you thoughts went a million miles a second..

how am i going to get home?

how is my family.. god i miss them..

if im forced to stay here.. how do i even pass these crazy magic classes?

do the people here ive come to know even want me here or are they forced to cause i cant leave..

every new thought was another anxiety that just caused your breath to quicken. your thoughts were flooded with negatives.. if you had magic this is what youd assume a magic blot would feel like.. so much negative emotions piling into you all at once.

you eventually sat below a tree, knees curled to your chest as you tried to calm yourself down. it didnt help that you hadent slept in days, insomnia only getting worse since coming to nightraven.

yet no matter what you did your breaths wouldnt calm, your hands kept shaking, and you couldnt hear or see straight. you almost jumped right out of your skin as you felt hands grab your own that covered your face. looking up you saw brown hair and ears.. leona?

his voice made its way to you eventually, "herbavore? herbavore.. seriously c'mon your worrying me. ruggie said you ran off but i didnt think itd be this bad." he mumbled to himself before his hands slipped dwon to your biceps, "hey, listen to me." he spoke firmly.

your eyes eventually meet him, your breaths calmling slightly at his presence. taking large breaths through your lips as you looked up at him, arms shaking in his hold. "dont fall out on me now, we need you." he spoke lowly as he scopped you up with ease, placing you betwen his legs, "your alright now herbivore, whatevers going on in that head of yours, its gonna be alright, yea?" he placed a kiss on your forhead allowng you time to breath normally.

when your breaths calmed and body began to calm, you sighed and leaned more into his body, "thank you.. leona". he chuckled deeply, sloching more down the tree, letting you fall into his chest. "its fine kid, just glad your fine. did something happen?". your eyes widened before spilling, explaining your thoughts to him slowly, anxious to be a burden. when you ended he rolled his eyes and strted laughing.. at you?..

huh?

"you seriously think anyone here doesnt want you here? i think at this point those first years would fall apart without you, and as for finding your way home, crawley better. or ill personally kick his ass, alright herbavore?" you simply nodded your head and leaned into him smiling, "your really not as bad as they say you are.."

vil schoenheit🧺

vi had become obsessed with training for the dance competittion, day after day everyone was practicing for hours every day. you tried to be nothin bt supportive but your insomnia had only gotten worse with the recent stress of the compettition..

what will happen if we dont win?

everyone else looks so tired..

god im so tired.. when was the last time i slept multiple hours?

i wish i could just go home already..

you guys had gotten the first brea of the day, you sat against the wall between kalim and ace as they yapped about how excited they were to preform next week. listening to them had you distracted, your eyes fluttering closed.

a hand was placed on your shoulder, looking up you saw jamil crouched in front of you, "are you alright? you look terrible prefect" you heard ace and kalim repremand him for being so blunt, but you just shook your head trying to wake up, "im fine jamil.. just tired, thank you though"

he looked skeptical but quickly turned to make sure kalim was drinking water and taking a proper break. ace mumbled something under his breath that you barley couldnt catch before he stood up and walked towards vil who was with rook and epel, who were talking across the room.

you saw vil look down at ace with his arms crossed, he glanced at you as ace pointed a finger to you. vil abandoned his conversation with epel and rook, shooing away the others around you, "why wouldnt you say that you havent been sleeping, thats not proper conditions for you to be proforming in prefect."

"im fine vil-", he rolled his eyes and cut you off, "you look anything but, stand" he reached a hand down to you, pulling you up from the ground. your head swam with spots when you rose too quickly, stumbling into vil.

he wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you up, "poision.. is somethng truley wrong?" you looked up at him, eyes wide as he read you like a book. he quickly took your hand and dragged you out of the practice room and into the lounge at pomefiore.

he sat you down in one of the chairs and crouched in fron tof you, holding your face in his hands, "speak to me.." you sighed before explaining what had been happening, the stresses and not sleeping, the thoughts of never being able to go home.

he sighed and stood, sitting beside you and tugging you into his side, "i wish you would speak up when this happens, you know that id never wish to add to your burdens." he placed a kiss to your forhead before continuing, "we will find a way for you to go home, no matter how bitter sweet itll be, i do hope we find a way for you to go back and forth.. we would all miss you terribly here.. especially me." at his words you sighed and relaxed into his side, "ill find a way back, i could never just leave you guys.. especially you.

rook hunt🪶

you thought itd be easy to hide your emotions recently, but knowing rook he proably could already see through your mind..

i hope i can go home soon..

i wonder if time has passed back home and if my family is worried about me..

i need to stop stresing, i havent slept at all recently

these magic classes are getting harder with the lack of magic

you thought you kept a pretty good mask on arround others, yet as soon as you were walking from potions alone with rook he spoke up, "mon cheri.. have you been sleeping enough? your beauty is as blinding as always, alas you seem more tired than usual."

you shouldve known better than to try to keep something from him, he finds out everything sooner rathar than latter, "im alright, just worried about getting home, i guess its been affecting my sleep.."

"well theres no use in worrying cheri! i garuntee they will find a way to send you home! with that said i think a long rest for you is in place." he spoke cherfully as he laced your hands together and dragged you to pomefiore, you smiled at his actions and followed along.. he always here to look after me

lilia vanrough🦇

after dealing with blots from every other house, you thought hanging around diasmonia would be calming. yet as you sat in the lounge with silver, sebek, lilia, and malleus your thought still didnt stop running..

whos going to over-blot next?

will the next one be more powerful.. maybe too powerful..

i didnt have these struggles at home

even my sleep scheduals gotten worse.. late nights staying up with lilia and idia playing games have become much more often an occurance

im supposed to be relaxing, just breath..

your mind spaced out as you looked at the floor in front of you while stuck in thought. your hands tangled into your blazer sleeves as your breath quickened, your vision began to see spots before you felt a hand rest on top of your own in your lap.

"prefect, is something the matter?" your head snapped up and saw lilia who was sat beside you, a concerned look for once took over his boyish grin, "your not looking too good.. are you ill?" he placed a hand on you forhead attempting to asses if you were running a fever.

"im alright.. just missing home" you mumbled, offering him a small smile as you placed your head on his shoulder. he sighed, raisng your hand to press a kiss on the back of your hand, "well find a way for you to go back, i promise it my dear."

he wrapped an arm around your waist pulling you to lean more into him, "in the mean time, you havent been sleeping and its clear, get some rest prefect" his boyish grin returned as he pecked your cheek. he was right.. everything was gonna be ok.

you finally felt comfortble enough to fall into a deep sleep against him, with grim curled up into your lap mumbling about his dreams of tuna. surronded by people you became found of over you stay at nightraven, it wouldnt be bad to stay here, but you knew that there would be a way home.

[m0e-ru]

p4 pokemon au where all problems are because of some stupid zoroark cracked with action replay

maul me over as much as you want over poke partner choices because idgaf im going to start yapping under the cut (2.5k words are yuo joking ?)

um where can i start

i wanna make it clear im sure these characters would all have different pokemon teams if they were playing pokemon on the nintendo ds, like, souji could be a rest staller if he wanted to. but anyway, heres my idea of who these guys would partner up with because i think it’s fun. and none of this is final i could give namatame a goomy too AHAHA

oh another disclaimer while i proclaim ive played all the mainline games, is i havent actually played a pokemon game past XY also im a unova babygirl est 2014 . yippie

Souji feels like such a normal-type guy to me. Cheren black and white. Well, the gray did influence it, but also he’s a very flexible guy.

He caught a Lillipup as a kid, and it’s been with him through multiple moves. His parents didn’t care about a pokemon in the house as long as it didn’t make a fuss, and was kind of Souji’s only friend at the time. It evolved into a Herdier at some point before he gets to Inaba, and probably gets to be a Stoutland for the whole Izanagi-no-Okami equivalent.

Not that I think he’d cheese his way through battles with Work Up -> Return shtick, but I think it’s a funny thought lol

Yosuke got a Tadbulb following him around, which he found in the moving van when his family was unpacking. And the next few weeks, he almost ran over a Froakie going 60kph on his bike. Yosuke appreciates having the Tadbulb around when working around Junes, and the Froakie guides him through Inaba as a local I guess lol. It evolves into the Frogadier when they go investigate the serial murders with Souji. It probably knows Aerial Ace for all I know LMAO

Chie’s Glaceon’s actually Muku, the Eevee Yukiko tried to take care of, until it was put in Chie’s care when she wasn’t allowed to keep it. When they were middle school, after one vacation at Mt. Yasogami, the Eevee ended up evolving next to an Ice Rock of all things. The two wondered why it didn’t evolve from friendship, like an Espeon or an Umbreon, and they joke around that the Eevee loved neither of them and bonded with a chunk of ice instead. Chie makes it wear a muffler because she misses Eevee's fluffy coat, in a way.

Around the same time, Chie found a Mienfoo training with her at the flood plains, and it decided to stay with her. Sometimes, she’d offer Yukiko to have it help out at the inn.

Kanji’s mom actually kept a Cottonee around to gather the stray cotton it leaves around to spin into thread sometimes. She wondered where it went, until Kanji admitted it evolved into a Whimsicott after it touched a rock he found lying around on the way home, which was a Sun Stone. It still stays around to help, and even floats all the way to Yasogami just to deliver Kanji’s lunch he forgot at home.

Kanji caught a Blitzle himself, and it was also there when he was beating up all the bikers making a ruckus by the highway, which made him easy to profile during that one TV segment about him. It goes with Kanji while he’s biking, and he’d refuse its help even when he gets tired.

Nobody really knows how Teddie became a boy, nor where he got his Cubchoo. All he’s mentioned is that they “saw one another in each other’s eyes” and it starts sneezing into Yosuke’s face. Well, it’s not too bad because they’re both Junes’ new mascots, in a way. Maybe he IS the Cubchoo 🤔🤔🤔

Rise had the Ralts since middle school. Having it perform with her during her audition to be an idol almost basically made her in the cut. It evolved into a Kirlia which made her more popular as Risette. Although, fans and haters started throwing Dawn Stones at it after a statement where Rise didn’t want to reveal its gender even with so many people asking. Most of them were fake, just to give Rise a scare, and it was only super fans or super haters that would throw in the real deal at shows or even just handshake sessions.

Naoto’s grandfather helped him catch a Surskit before he left the estate and became the Detective Prince. He once accused a Sneasel to be a culprit of one case, but it ended up proving itself innocent, nagging Naoto to certain evidence when he just thought it was annoying him. Impressed by each other’s wit, they’ve become partners in solving crime. Naoto would pacify it with his Surskit’s sweet syrup. And when the Surskit evolved into a Masquerain, Naoto would have two partners by his side. Although, this lead to trusting his own instincts and pokemon more than other people.

Chisato owned a Rockruff, which even adored Dojima before they were even married. It evolved into a midday Lycanroc, which started to help Dojima with his own investigations. When Chisato passed, it was less bitter than Dojima, and would be sent home to stay with Nanako if he ever had to work overnight. When Nanako was comfortable enough with Souji and his Herdier, the Lycanroc would stay with Dojima, and Adachi would help prop him on its back when he gets himself drunk.

A bit after Chisato’s funeral in the middle of the mourning period, her mother came to her granddaughter, Nanako, and gave her a Cleffa, in which they would both learn to take care of each other. It would have fun being tossed around in the air by the Lycanroc and Herdier at home, while Souji would tell Nanako to make a wish on the star everytime it was in the air. Because it’s the Star Shape pokemon lol i think it’s cute

While Adachi was still in the big city, he’d see the skinniest Purrloin in an alley on the way home. He fed it once, and it wouldn’t stop pestering him since. He thought it was over when his apartment complex neighbors started feeding it, but it found delight in annoying Adachi specifically, taking his keys from his pockets, or nabbing a bit of his takeout when he was distracted.

It jumped into the boot of his car, genuinely curious of what was going on, until it found itself in an hours long trip which ended with it in Inaba. Dojima mentioned his Lycanroc smelled a feline scent on him, while Adachi just denies he owns a pokemon, much less that Purrloin that isn’t even native to the area. It’s caught the attention of the locals for a while, and it took it to its advantage to get more people to feed it, but still hangs around Adachi to go nick his new, rusty apartment keys.

There’s also like, this Shuppet that shows up at some point, and his landlady and neighbors keep telling him about it and giving him weird looks. But he doesnt believe in superstitions and doesnt have a pokedex to look at so who cares

Namatame's family has a Bunnelby helping around the business with little chores and such. His parents send it off to Namatame to work with him and keep him company while he tries to recover. Somewhere along the way, he finds an Absol following him on a rainy day, which he takes care of alongside the Bunnelby entrusted to him, or maybe it’s taking care of him? While Namatame becomes more manic each passing day as his messiah complex gets to him, he starts distancing himself from Bunnelby and spends more time with Absol. 

The MOEL gas station has a shiny Heliolisk, but a lot of people don't really know the concept of shiny pokemon, and they haven't seen Heliolisks or Helioptiles in the urban area, so they don't really think it's so special besides it being a different color. It's nothing more than a mascot of sorts, and does silly things with the attendant; like startling Adachi and that Purrloin that follows him around. It can sense when it's going to rain by feeling the static electricity around it. And what's rather peculiar is that it doesn't seem too averse to rain or cloudy skies. It does enjoy basking in the sun, and people would look up to see it hanging around on the station canopy with a spread out frill those days.

okay, so this is the part where I'm supposed to talk about plot. um. anyway

Way back when, there was a Zoroark that would walk among people, disguised as a human. People started rumors and suspected this woman really is a pokemon, but nobody seemed to shun her or really care, she was just a nice lady and took care of the people around her. People would say she came to them from a greater power to be a guardian to the land, similar to the legends in different regions, like Sinnoh and their Arceus.

However, the way she protects her people would be through illusions. She would keep external and malicious forces at bay by severely frightening them at the mountaintops, or the forests, if they ever got through, be it human or pokemon. If anyone were hurt or were about to die, unable to be treated to health, she would comfort them in a grand dream as they would fall asleep for the very last time. 

As time went on and technology developed, people were so entranced with the television broadcasts, wanting to know who was behind the screen, even if they were covered up in makeup and filters. 

The greater power sought to sate the people's desires, and saw the Zoroark it left in their care wasn't enough. So it split the pokemon into two, with one half so weak it was just a Zorua. The newly born Zoroark went off to accomplish its appointed duty, no matter the means. To better determine what the people wanted, however, it created a scheme which would involve stimulating the masses to come to an answer.

The Zoroark played a simple gas station attendant, which would stay close and observe the people. It would choose three pawns to watch over, manipulating the situation in tandem to their reactions. 

well so um basically there's still an isekai with TV portals. the iznmi Zoroark has enough power this time to create pocket dimensions straight from its illusion power. Every victim that ends up inside still gets haunted by their “truth” iznmi determines after scrutinizing them. The Midnight Channel broadcasts are also their illustrations. so basically, instead of things going on by itself from the collective unconscious reacting, it's a Zoroark piecing things together. it's kinda like pokepark 2. HAHAHA

Namatame's still kidnapping people he sees on the Midnight Channel. And when he gets Nanako, the Bunnelby stays behind and begs the IT to help. It helps them find Namatame, where they confront him and his Absol. Through illusions and legitimate power channeling, the Absol mega evolves. The IT defeat it and it returns to a normal Absol. They take both Nanako and Namatame to the hospital, the Bunnelby by Namatame's side the whole time.

When Adachi's suspected to be the killer, he escapes into the world inside the TV and makes a deal with the Zoroark. The Purrloin follows Adachi's scent and ends up in the TV, terrified of its unknown surroundings and hiding from the rest of the monstrous illusions that popped up. It got used to the world, however, and when the IT arrived, it helped them with Adachi's silly puzzles, to which he groans through a PA about how that pokemon’s still annoying him in another world. 

The IT confront Adachi, until a Mismagius appears to stop them. It sings Perish Song (because Magatsu-Izanagi is a Ghastly Wail kind of thing lmfao) but everyone stood their ground, blocking the song from their ears. Even under Adachi's (albeit in pain) command, the Mismagius falters, and the Zoroark takes things into its own hands, creating a bigger illusion to finally deal with these meddling kids for itself. 

But they defeat Ame-no-Sagiri, and its grand voice agrees to stop the grand illusions plaguing Inaba. The IT still have no idea who this conductor of schemes is, and Adachi can't give a clear answer either 

Marie's a Zorua with amnesia so bad she forgot she's a Zorua at all. She started her illusion as a human girl just to aimlessly wander around Inaba more easily and has been stuck in that form since. She was taken into the Velvet Room where they can clearly see that she isn't a human, but a pokemon. What's impressive is that she doesn't have a tail sticking out, which would mean her powers of illusion are rather potent. 

Souji’s made to chaperone her around Inaba to get her memories back, the whole shtick. While everyone stops prying into her nonexistent life, they're impressed with her ability to understand pokemon, as if she can actually understand them. Marie comes to the conclusion that she must have grown up around pokemon to be able to understand them that well. 

In the end, she finds out she is a pokemon, and iznmi Zoroark sends her to a grave that is physically in Inaba, instead of a pocket dimension. 

Margaret creates a conduit from that shed TV to that tomb somewhere in Inaba. Marie runs around as a Zorua and makes illusions to stop the IT from getting to her. But they manage to get to the heart of the tomb and get Zorua Marie from burying herself. 

They defeat another one of iznmi Zoroark’s avatars dwelling in Marie which was controlling her, then Marie comes back to the IT, accepting her identities as a pokemon and a human girl.

The IT thought that the illusions have stopped, and people are free to see what's really in front of their eyes. But Souji confronts the gas station at MOEL, where he reveals he's really a Zoroark with a duty, even startling the Heliolisk by its side. 

The IT enter the final world of illusions and desperately try to find the Zoroark to convince it to stop and let people truly live, that no one should hold their hands all the time, and quit living in a painless and meaningless utopia.

With everyone and their pokemon exhausted, Marie finds the strength to convince her other self. To let it see that she is living proof how people can live a life with the truth, and how they can stand on their own feet. 

After some time, the Zoroark agrees to dispel the illusions it has made, and appoint the rest of its power to Marie for her to be the guardian pokemon of the people of Inaba.

[myunghology]

IQIEIWORFOS HII I LOVE YOUR BLOG 😭😭

Im not sure if you take reqs but in case you do, i love how you wrote your last post of attractive things for Rui!! Maybe can you do it with Akito?

Take your time if you decided to do it, ty and take caree <3

AKITO SHINONOME — attractive things he does! ( a/n at the end! )

i. he's a fast replier. akito isn't one usually known for the way he replies quickly— but with you, it's really the opposite. he'll reply quickly to anything you say, even if it's something stupid or quirky. preferably though, he likes it better whenever you update him about anything that's going on in your life. long story short, he likes listening to you yap.. even if it's about something he won't bother to listen to when it comes to other people.

ii. has multiple playlists for you. some he'd make about your relationship, which he'd send to you or is a collaboration playlist, some only songs that reminds him of you. he has more than he'd like to admit, and probably more than you think he has, which are only for his eyes ( or ears ) and won't show you. his pride's too huge for that gang i'm sorry.. ( also def has a playlist full of sexual songs just for shits 'n giggles but let's not talk about that right now ).

iii. the guy's a waist grabber. I'M SORRY i tried to hold back i really did from saying this but the demons..... anyway, yes, he'd grab your waist ( mostly from behind ) and pull you closer. and the fact that his hands are so strong and warm too just makes you want to melt in his arms.. literally. probably caresses it too using his thumb. GANG I'M GONNA CRASH OUT??????? he uses this too whenever he's being possessive, or sometimes he'd pull you back by your waist when he doesn't want you to go anywhere.

iv. posts you on his social media. this dude bruh.. he probably only updates on his social media accounts like once every four months, birthday / congratulatory posts and stories not counted. and he uses those once every four month posts to show you off with some kind of song that reminds him of you. he usually only posts dumps consists of his everyday life and his outfits, but you've been starting to pop up in 'em more often <3

v. clingy without realizing. akito would literally worship the ground on if you asked him if it wasn't for his huge ass pride. you could be sitting on his desk on break time in class and he'd be beside you, laying his head on your thighs before his hand travels to your inner thighs and caressing them once again!! he would leave kisses, but he'd rather do that in private. once he realizes though and gets called out for it in public, he'd just brush it off with a “why do you care?” and it's so attractive..

vi. would actually beat someone up for you. you sadly? have scary dog privileges when you're with your boyfriend. whenever he even hears SLIGHTLY that someone's badmouthing you, best believe you'll have to hold him back by the hood of his jacket to stop him from pouncing at that person. “baby you gotta let me beat 'em up.” he'd say, to which you shake your head and drag him away, whilst muttering that he doesn't need even more enemies.

vii. kisses literally everywhere. no, no more malicious intent this time.. but he'd kiss you literally anywhere in your body just because. of course, he's mostly fond of your lips, but if he had to choose something other than that, then he'd probably kiss your collarbone, shoulder. maybe even your thighs if he's feeling sappy or whatever, but he does it out of fondness and how much he wants to show how he loves you.

@myunghology — HEHEHEHEHE TY ANONN <3 also i was planning to do this for him too so u came in the right time 😈 ill do other pjsk boys soon i swear....!!! also do y'all think akito would sometimes post thirst traps and toya would be somewhere in the bg and the comments would be like ‘who dat in the BACKKK🔥🔥’ LMFAOOOO.

[saewokhrisz]

hello! the ophiomorphosis piece you posted this morning is absolutely gorgeous. ive been obsessing over it all day--i kind of wish i could just gnaw on it. id love to hear your thoughts/explanations for the symbolism if that's something you'd want to share publicly!

thank you sm !!!!

Ive been considering it !!! actually posted it on my priv some of my mutuals encouraged me to talk about it cuz i was feeling a little awkward, but i did put lots of thought into the piece so i ended up making this brief summ up of it, plus like if people wanna hear my thoughts too im happy to share ^_^

since this is my most charged piece by far id say? i put lot of small references and symbolism in my work in general but i guess the closes that would come to this extent was my crow comic bwhaha

theres more to add to this with wiki entries for references and quotes and incame dialogue but i DID try to keep this short

altho most times i dont overexplain my works because honestly i like seeing what other people pick out from it, sometimes someone will deduce smth i didnt intend at all but ends up working greatly in the piece, which is super neat imo,

theres no right or wrong interpetation, most times, as is there more just things with clear intent and then everything else the viewer picks out from it

anyways thats all sdjhfjdf ty for letting me yap

[sorry for any typos]

[wtfgaylittlezooid]

Stickbug AU

Just so y'all can get an idea of what I'm yapping about, I'm gonna spill everything I have planned for this AU so far on this post. I'll try to update it as I come up with more ideas.

NOTE: SO THIS CAME OUT A LOT LONGER THAN I THOUGHT SO IF YALL WANT TO CONTROL F TO CERTAIN SPOTS HERE ARE THE HEADER NAMES: The Hollows Creation AVA IV Chosen & Dark Anim VS Minecraft Purple KING LETS GO MY FAVORITE KING AVM Season 3 Victim & the Mercenaries After Everything

So this AU takes place around 50 years after the canon events of Bug Fables, and I'll explain as I go along so you won't need to know the events of the game.

Some needed information is that Humans are heavily implied to have disappeared/died, and some species of bugs have gained sapience in the "Day of Awakening," though some species remained feral with a few individuals gaining sapience far after the Day of Awakening.

The Hollows Creation

Alan is still in this AU, and in a way he is still the Hollows "creator." In this AU, he's a creature called a "Deadlander Omega" found in the Giant's Lair/Deadlands. Basic information is that they're colossal bird-like Deadlanders which are so big only their claws and eyes have ever been seen. In game they like to drop other Deadlanders onto the player which triggers a fight. Alan is a more aware Omega. He likes to collect whatever piques his interest, normally anything that shines due to the lack of sunlight in the Lair. However after a while of dropping Deadlanders onto the few passing bugs, he got more curious by bugs.

NOTE: THIS IS DRAWN BY @tatos-stick-pile SHE HAS DONE SO MUCH FOR THIS AU

So what did he do? Sneak out of the Giant's Lair. Used the overgrown weeds to his advantage and would look around. Found out about larva and got fascinated by the fact bugs came from that. So whatever larva he could find he'd take back-- which wasn't often since most people wouldn't just leave their larva/eggs lying around.

Anyway he'd bring them home. The Deadlanders wouldn't register the larva/eggs as bugs or alive so they could just crawl around and munch on the grass until they eventually grew up. Alan started realizing "oh shit grow your own entertainment" when his first little stolen egg grew to a bug, a grasshopper (victim). Alan would basically use a jar to keep Victim from running off, would drop Deadlanders on him to watch the fights even if Victim sucked at fighting.

Now even if Alan doesn't recognize the bugs as living and thinking things, he isn't stupid. He notices how they use the shiny crystals he likes to collect to heal. So when he sees Victim nearly getting killed in one of the fights he puts two and two together and "gives" Victim the crystal. AKA impales him and literally kills Victim. When he notices Victim stops moving, throws him away and tries again.

He finds a hornet larva. Decides to try something different. Bugs use the crystals for health, so as the larva crawls around and eats he crushes up one of his crystals and mixes it into areas they know they like to eat in. Because of the magic in the crystals, whatever sticks in their bodies results in the larva becoming strong, healthy, and extremely powerful sorcerers.

Chosen fights-- both the Deadlanders and Alan-- but can't win. He tries running, but Alan rips off a wing and puts him in the jar. Eventually Alan gets lucky and finds a wasp larva, and unfortunately for Chosen, this one doesn't seem to understand anything other than following Alan. Of course y'all can guess what happens from here: Alan pits the two against eachother, Chosen tells Dark they can team up to fight Alan, and end up doing a lot of damage to him before running. It takes a long while for Alan to rebuild his health before he tries again. This time a lot more careful with a little bumblebee larva (Second). He keeps a very close eye on it to make sure it doesn't hurt him, and an even closer eye to make sure it doesn't get away.

AVA IV

Red's a ladybug, Green's a grasshopper, Blue's a firefly, and Yellow's a caddisfly. While Bugaria takes place in the Giant's Lair (AKA a abandoned human home)'s backyard, the color gang are from the front yard. They each have their own reasons to travel to Bugaria: Yellow has heard about Roach technology and really wants to see how it works for himself, Red wants to join the Explorer's Association and fill out his bestiary along the way, Blue wants to visit the Harvest Festival and give an offering for the goddess of Harvest, Venus' approval, and Green just wants to stick with his friends.

However getting to Bugaria is difficult. While before most people would take the swamp, the only thing that resulted in was a lot of tension and frustration since they couldn't communicate with the Leafbugs living there and would only result in a lot of deaths on both sides. The swamp got closed off, and as a result, left two main paths. The Caravan is the most popular for good reason: it is an extremely long road usually consisting of many bugs, although because the trip normally takes around a month, it is not safe from bandits nor the weather. A lot of injuries tend to happen and many come out malnourished. The other option takes a day. Just follow the path through the Giant's Lair. There won't be many Deadlanders, but if there are, only large enough groups of bugs or explorer teams can go through to ensure safety.

Since they're a group of four impatient, naive, younger bugs, the Color Gang goes through the Deadlands. It isn't that bad actually, until a little bumblebee catches Red's eye, and an glint of Blue catches Yellow's. Each go off path, Red finding a very excited and nervous Second Coming, and Yellow finding a half of the Roach's ancient Key.

And This catches Alan's attention, because that bee and that key are both of his things. They get to see Alan's spooky ass eye, and Second urges them to run, but before they can the Color Gang gets squished by Alan's claw and Second and the key get picked up. Second isn't happy, stings Alan right in the eye, and gets dropped right next to his friends. He tries helping them up so they can leave, but they're still struggling. He takes too long and Second and his friends get a jar slammed over them.

Alan keeps watch of them, now mostly curious because that's a LOT of bugs in one jar. He's expecting them to fight or do something, but instead... they just sit together. They just chat and sit against the glass, and what really shocks Alan is when they pull out food and start sharing it. I think this is the moment it clicks for Alan that there's something more to them. Alan leaves, and when he comes back he brings back two things. A good pile of food for them, and one of his crystals. He places them on the ground and lifts the jar before perching to see what they do. They're too injured to leave even with the crystal's healing, but Alan is just fascinated with this new discovery. That they're complicated, that they think. For as long as they stay in the Deadlands, which is only a few days, he tries making it as comfortable as possible to see what they like. Tries modeling after what he's seen other bugs do and live in.

They leave of course, taking Second and the key half with them. Alan doesn't like it, but he lets them. Now he's curious on if they'll come back, and now just has a lot to think about now that he's realized they can think and feel.

Chosen & Dark

After everything with Alan, the only thing Dark and Chosen knew was the other, so they clung. Dark itched for a fight, and Chosen was more curious about the outside world. Eventually this lead to the two becoming an explorer team.

It wasn't bad at first, but Dark of course gravitated to the shadier areas. Dark THRIVED in bounties and fights, meanwhile Chosen started second guessing whether or not he liked being an explorer. Every time they had to leave a kingdom or village, he'd always just felt disappointed. But Dark wanted to keep going, so he followed.

Eventually they started to get a reputation. They would do any quest, no matter the morals, and they wouldn't sell you out. They would get worse and worse clients, and were quickly teetering on the line of hitmen, and Chosen eventually had enough. He didn't see the point in it anymore, he liked the slow moments. Dark meanwhile thrived in a fight, because it was the only thing hes ever known.

This led to a fight between them. A bad one. Dark had been experimenting with Roach crystals to boost his own abilities, and somehow, Chosen ended up accidentally dragging Second and the Color Gang into it. There was a lot of collateral damage and Dark showed off how he was not above killing people, by targeting Second's friends. They died, and that mixture of sheer rage and grief was what triggered Second's skill in magic. Y'all know how this goes, Second beats the shit out of Dark Lord, revives his friends, but before he can land the killing blow, Chosen stops him.

Chosen doesn't want Dark to die, but he can't be with him anymore. So he rats on Dark. Gets him thrown in Rubber Prison, and Dark takes this as a betrayal. They depend on each other, and Chosen wouldn't even defend him and never visited him. Chosen regrets this decision every day and before he can get arrested too, he hides and is labeled as missing.

Anim VS Minecraft

This stumped me at first because how the hell do you mix bug fables and Minecraft but NO WORRIES I FOUND A WAY

After the Deadlands, first thing Color Gang does is sign up for the Explorer's Association. Unfortunately there can't be teams of 5, so they split into two teams: Blue and Yellow form Team Sunset, and Second, Red, and Green form Team Second. They do quests for a while, Yellow spends a lot of time focusing on the key half, and eventually they team up for a pretty important quest!

Not sure what this quest would be exactly, but basically they get lured into a cave and when they get into it Red starts acting weird. And then he starts attacking them and going for the key and yep if you've realized it WE FOUND A WAY TO ADD HEROBRINE FUCK YOU MINECRAFT CREEPYPASTA BUGSONA

Art once again by @tatos-stick-pile

Herobrine is a recently awakened Golden Orb Weaver spider who uses his silk to puppet Red around. This silk is SHARP too. He tries going for the key because he's heard of the artifact and its power and he really wants it to expand his territory. He gets his ass kicked when they figure out whats going on and he escapes.

Afterwards Yellow decides to be more secretive about the key half. They don't figure this out for a while though, but the entire reason Herobrine was expanding his territory is because he looks after lesser bugs ESPECIALLY ones that have recently awakened. He just hates regular bugs.

Purple

And I lied to start with Purple I have to start with an Explorer Team y'all should be familiar with-- unless youre coming from the bug fables fandom and to that i say hello how do you like the shitstorm so far. Anyway one Explorer Team, Team Orchid. It consists of an orchid mantis named Orchid and another mantis named Navy.

Orchid is an explorer for the sightseeing and to help people. Navy doesn't exactly care about that, he's mostly around to make sure she doesn't get herself killed. Eventually he gets an idea that they can get a pet for some extra defense. Orchid LOVES the idea, and so Navy drags her to the Forsaken Lands to find something strong enough.

Orchid falls in love with a mothfly and won't settle for anything else. That mothfly is Purple, a recently awakened mothfly who is extremely confused because he's only been around feral mothflies and its his instinct to stick with them. Anyway y'all know how this goes, Navy "trains" (aka beats) Purple, who can't fight back and goes to Orchid for comfort. Purple causes a massive rift in their relationship and its not even their fault. Orchid wanted a pet to dote on and Navy wanted something to train. But Orchid isn't stupid-- even if Purple is a mothfly and can't talk she starts recognizing he's awakened. He's a child. She starts treating him as such despite how much Navy HATES it and Purple of course starts seeing them as their parents and really looks up to them.

And one day Navy is sick of it. Takes Purple by the arm and drags him back to the Forsaken Lands and far from Orchid. Purple is nervous but still trusts him, thinks its for training. Navy drags him all the way to the abandoned Ant Settlement and tells him to stay there. To prove his training he needs to protect that settlement until he comes back to get them. Purple of course is "okay ❤️ yay❤️."

He doesn't come back. Neither does Purple. But Purple sticks to the settlement and protects it-- getting a little overly defensive of it. Overtime more mothflies are drawn to the area and of course they form little hivemind clusters and whoops! False Monarch 2. But since Purple is awakened and actually intelligent he has a lot more control over the mothfly clusters-- or False Citizens-- and they act more as an extension of him. Purple forms his own little cluster too-- and hates being separated from it and DESPISES being acknowledged as "just a mothfly" so he dresses with a mask and cloak to be a better bug. He gets a bit of a superiority complex as well due to just being surrounded by nothing but feral bugs that he can control.

Anyway the sudden re-population of this abandoned settlement with False Citizens does not go unnoticed. Especially because whenever one wanders close, Purple tends to have a citizen stalk and lurk around the edge until it creeps the bug out enough for them to leave. So a bounty is made once again for the False Monarch.

Blue and Green see it. They think it would be SO fun to lean into their competitive sides and see if whoever got the killing blow on the bounty would finally prove their team as better. So they go to the settlement, see the citizens staring and stalking them and ignore it. They aren't attacking them, after all. They're just being creepy.

They end up finding Purple who is NOT happy and is immediately defensive. But he's not attacking them. He's just kinda throwing a fit and making himself look bigger. Which is weird because bounties are usually extremely dangerous and hostile, but this one is just... throwing a fit. They end up just nearly dodging a fight when some of the citizens start grabbing Green and Blue to throw them out and Blue blurts out they don't want to fight. Turns out Purple does understand Bugnish, but can't speak it.

Great! So they don't have to kill the pretty chill bounty. But others don't know that, and they need to bring back proof they killed Purple to get the bounty taken down. They bring it up to Purple and after vague translations, they make a deal. Purple's been having trouble with a strong enemy near the settlement, so he gives them their mask and helps them defeat the enemy.

And its a big fucking spider, but thankfully they have Purple's range to help in the fight, and while its going smooth at first-- Purple ends up bailing. He's spent too long away from the settlement and figures since Blue and Green are strong enough that they'll be fine. They aren't. Because they needed Purple's range. Purple almost ends up getting them killed, the only reason they survived is because their friends realized they were gone for a long time and come just in time.

Green and Blue afterwards take the mask and leave. They're pissed at Purple but they can confront him another time, they mostly just want to be away from him at the moment.

KING LETS GO MY FAVORITE KING

Time for King! Y'all know King's deal. He has a child he loves with all his heart. In this AU he is a Violin Mantis and his little Goldie is a mantis nymph. King personally isn't an explorer, but Gold REALLY wants to be once and he always finds it difficult to say no to Gold.

Anyway Gold hears wind of a tourist thing. They're doing this mini-tour of the Deadlands in a 100% totally nothing will ever go wrong encased area. Its gonna focus on theories on the Deadlands and what Gold is more interested in-- how Explorers made it safer and how they traverse it.

King doesn't like it. Its called the Deadlands for a reason. But Gold really wants to and is begging him and is doing all his chores and being the most perfect little nymph so he can go. And they claim its safe. King finally caves and takes Gold, and y'all can guess what happens. Deadlander breaks through and kills his son right in front of him before the Explorer escorts can kill it.

So like any regular parent experiencing grief King vows to fucking blow up the Deadlands and everything in it. Not like anybody cares about that fucking place and is widely considered a No Man's Land. He ends up getting his hands on the other half to the Key and is obsessed with finding the other half.

AVM Season 3

While going towards the Termite Kingdom to hopefully find some clues on where the other key half is, King gets lost along the way and finds the abandoned Ant Settlement. False citizens are of course not happy and watch him, but he ignores them. He might as well search the place while he's here. He ends up finding Purple, whose not happy and already a little on edge because Blue and Green haven't come back despite promising they will.

King notices the bounty paper Green and Blue drop and promptly manipulates Purple. Tells them that they probably won't be coming back. But I imagine Green and Blue were yapping to Purple, mentioning the key half because both dont take it that seriously, and Purple sees King's key half and mentions it through a drawing.

King turns up the manipulation to 100. convinces Purple to take his citizens with them (wants to use them as a deadlander bait). If they get the key they'll be strong enough for their village. He just has to get the key from his friends and bring it to King.

Very cute doodle once again from @tatos-stick-pile

Purple does. A while after he's ditched the village to be with King, they run into Color Gang again. They're chatting and having fun and eventually Purple just... dissapears along with the key. Y'all should know what happens, the chase happens, Purple brings the key to King, he combines them and gets really strong and starts destroying shit. Big fight starts up, King focuses on superpowered Second, the color gang go after Purple, who isn't really that strong. He tries getting help from King, but King ignores him. Leaves him for dead.

This fucks up Purple. Because King introduced that fear and realization of abandonment in Purple. And Purple not only realizes how many mistakes he's made, but also realizes he's in fact a lesser bug. That's why nobody wants him. And people don't hesitate to kill lesser bugs when they're in their way. Purple gets both super emotional and terrified for his life, and is forced to abandon his beloved cloak and mask to make a run for it. Green pursues him, everything else happens.

Not sure how everyone splitting up would work so far, but Red somehow gets Herobrine and some of the bugs he watches involved in the fight. Green convinces Purple to go after King, and the bigger fight starts. King uses the Key to attack anyone and hes close enough to his goal hes gotten a lot more brutal. Will just hold whoevers nearest and shoot them point blank with it. Y'all know that scene. The scene where King is nearly killing Purple and goes through that flashback and is slapped in the face with the realization he sees Purple as his own son. That still happens, King gives up, helps Purple and Purple still sticks to him.

Victim & the Mercenaries

Shortly after being discarded by Alan, a cordyceps fungus found and started growing in the grasshopper's body. He is EXTREMELY lucky, because the tiniest crumbs of magic crystal left in his body was just enough magic to balance out the fungus sticking to him and passing on its memory without completely overloading it and turning him into a zombie. But its not perfect, and it still shows in the mini holes in his body. He also woke up fucking PISSED enough to turn him into a Locust

I'm gonna keep this section extremely vague since we still don't know what happened to Victim in AvA canon. Just know he built a massive "charity" corporation in the Termite Kingdom that claims its going to find a way to turn the Deadlands useful. AKA he wants an excuse to have enough money to research a way into killing Alan.

This involves hiring explorer teams, leading him to the Mercenaries: Hazard, Ballista, Primal, and Agent. They are explorers who work in the shadier areas of the Association and are EXTREMELY difficult to hire as they only accept high rewards up-front.

Some concepts for Victim and Agent since I haven't settled on a design for them...

Chosen and Dark catch Victim's eye, since they're rumored to have attacked an Omega and lived. However since Chosen is missing, Victim and the Mercenaries stop by Rubber Prison to visit Dark. Now Dark and the Mercenaries were very well known in the same area, so they know each other. Doesn't mean Dark likes them.

They convince Dark to help them with the promise of his bands back and a dead Omega. Dark thinks Chosen would absolutely love a dead Omega, and so he doesn't hesitate.

Shit happens. Chosen and Second get captured by the mercenaries and Chosen is PISSED at Dark despite all the regret. They're both mad at each other but Dark's doesn't last long when Victim starts torturing Chosen for information. He's mad at Chosen but he doesn't want that.

He blows up at Victim a little at it, so to get Dark to listen, Victim rips off a good chunk of Chosen's remaining wing. That makes Dark stand down, and now Dark doesn't know what to do. Chosen feels too guilty about everything to say anything, and Dark is too prideful to apologize. More shit happens-- Victim has the gem of Hoaxe's crown. Long story short it can brainwash Hornets, which Victim starts using when Chosen keeps refusing. That pushes Dark more off of Victim but he can't do anything lest Victim directs it all back on Chosen tenfold.

More vague shit. Mr alan becker i need the next part of episode six soon please. Anyway big fight in the Deadlands. Everyone's in there and Victim wants Alan DEAD. But Victim is getting progressively more and more pissed off because despite being attacked Alan is being as gentle as he can. He's going the extra mile to make sure he doesn't kill them. Anyway Dark ends up snapping Chosen's antennae to break him out of the brainwashing and Victim gets cooked.

Chosen decides to not murder Victim-- mostly because clearly that's not permanent and its too good for him. Victim is extremely upset about this because the fact nobody is killing him and just being weirdly merciful and the fact hes lost all control has sent him into a breakdown. Its challenging all the rules hes lived by and how he thought the world worked. Hes screaming and shouting at them.

Which attracts the attention of another Omega. Now the thing about Omegas is because they're pretty fragile due to being mostly bones, it means they need to build armor to survive. And they're territorial. Usually if an Omega picks a fight the one with the better armor survives.

Once again-- art provided by @tatos-stick-pile THEY ARE COOKING

And to protect the bug he KNOWS he hurt and was alive-- Alan attacks the other Omega despite already being extremely injured and losing most his armor. The others dont have a choice but to hide out of sight, and eventually the other Omega wins and kills Alan. Tries looking around for the interesting thing that was shouting but finds nothing and fucks off along with a few undamaged parts of Alan's armor.

Everyone except for Second and the Color Gang decide to take their leave. I imagine throughout the story theres a lot of moments where Alan works on making it up to Second and just truely shows he cares and is regretful. So Second tries reviving him, but the problem is that Alan is just... fuckin' massive. Even when they're dead or asleep they're so big their bodies get mistaken for terrain.

It doesn't work at first. Until Yellow finds the gem Victim left behind that he used to control Chosen, and he learned that this can boost magic. He gives it to Second and he completely exhausts himself and they revive Alan. Yipee!! Everyone is saved happy ending go home its over

After Everything

Chalk my liar count to 2 y'all

Purple lives with King, and King has officially adopted him. They still have their own issues they're working towards, but they're slowly getting there together.

Dark and Chosen don't know what to do at first. Chosen wants a chill and peaceful life, but Dark directly contrasts that. He's much more well known and hated than Chosen. Just by being with him, he ruins Chosen's happiness, but he just wants to stay with him. Chosen wants to stay with Dark as well. Thankfully, one of the mercenaries pops up. They're pissed at first, but all they do is mention a town.

Looking into it, after the attempted takeover half a century ago, the bandit leader Astotheles got inspired by the celebration. He wanted a home, a nation for his people, so he left Bugaria because it obviously wasn't gonna happen there. Outside the nation's borders, he established his own village. Where bugs who are abandoned or discarded can come to start anew.

Chosen and Dark decide to move to there, leaving behind and finally moving on from everything that happened to them.

Victim on the other hand went missing. He took that loss HARD. Agent thinks he has an idea on where he went, but needs extra help, so he puts up a request. He's not bringing the other mercs because they don't know about the cordyceps thing and Victim prefers to keep it hidden.

Color Gang ends up taking it up. They are low on berries and its the only request on the board. Nobody is happy about this. Agent makes sure to go with them, and he leads them all to Snakemouth Den. In the den there's a lot of spores and magic in the air, and it gets worse the deeper you go in because in that cave is an ancient Roach laboratory where experimented on cordyceps and magic in an attempt to recreate the immortality of the Everlasting Sapling (that thing is long dead it doesnt matter).

Anyway Victim went here for a power boost. Thinks he just needs to try again and he'll have more control and he'll win. Now he aint thinkin' clearly because the magic that is so goddamn potent in this cave is messin with the fungus. And y'all remember what i said?

"He is EXTREMELY lucky, because the tiniest crumbs of magic crystal left in his body was just enough magic to balance out the fungus sticking to him and passing on its memory without completely overloading it and turning him into a zombie."

Yeah. Ends up shanking himself with the crystals to try and force more magic in him and it makes the fungus go stupid crazy and completely overgrow out and through his exoskeleton and whoops! say goodbye to your sentience. Control freak loses everything even the control over himself. Fun little boss fight I also imagine he has a poison thing going on.

Anyway they end up knocking him down and restraining him, Agent rips out all the crystals. Victim isn't dead yet but he's in awful shape, and congrats you earned Second's pity. Second heals him and Agent pays them a shit ton for that and brings Victim home to help him recover.

Anyway thats it for the AU so far holy god that was so much longer than I expected if you made it here we should go on a date to texas roadhouse together

[08melancholie]

(Just a warning, non-con is mentioned in this but I’m not talking about it in a graphic way)

I wanna yap, and you’re the only person I know who will most likely agree with me, so get ready

Okay so I wanna talk about how people use that news paper clipping (will add it below)

If you can’t read it, the basic summary is Micah and his father killed a farmer and his wife. Micah the second(I’ll just call him Micah the second) was 38 and Micah was 17 years old, from what we know from the game and Micah literally saying it himself that his father was a bad man, and we have no idea what his mother was like, maybe she was mistreated by his father, Left or was bad too. Anyways back to the original conversation is that no 17 year old is gonna kill someone without being influenced to do it, obviously Micah the third was pressured by his father to kill people. He says it himself, “my daddy said sympathy is for the weak” so his father most likely groomed him into crime (or whatever word you use for that) and his brother Amos luckily got away from that mess and started a family. It’s obvious that Micah the third was influenced by his father.

off topic I wanna talk about his relationship with his brother

Micah brother doesn’t exactly hate him, and something I wanna talk about is that Micah is atheist and Amos is Christian, Amos had the chance to change from being a outlaw but Micah didn’t because his brother didn’t want Micah near him anymore. So Micah continued on the outlaw path, I wish we knew more about the bell family.

And last but not least, I wanna talk about some of the narcissistic people in the fandom and how stupid they sound.

“Micah is a grapist” The thing is, we don’t know that and nobody in the fandom knows that he is or isn’t, it’s not confirmed and it’s a theory. Also we don’t know if he actually did it with Jenny, he could’ve been lying just to gain attention and we don’t know if it was non-con or not. “His looks give off pervert vibes” that’s a bit odd to say considering his actor looks like him? It’s really rude to say too, it’s kinda sad how Peter got death threats and people say “That’s how you know he plays good as a villain” that’s how you know people are too sensitive to be playing a game about outlaws

Yet again, they don’t call out any other characters for it? Like Dutch, bill, and Javier and harass people for liking Micah.

“Micah’s racist and you support his actions!” That’s the way Micah was brought up, although it’s still wrong and nobody supports it. Do they support Arthur killing people? No I don’t think they do

Sorry gang I had to yap

OKAY WOW THERES A LOT TO UNPACK HERE lets do it

more after the cut <3

Firstly, I do absolutely agree on Micah's upbringing. I have a brief post on it already ("Upbringing.") and I very much think that his dad set him up for failure very early on, giving him no chance to pick his path himself.

Amos and Micah were both influenced by their father as all three did crimes together, but Amos was lucky enough to get himself out of it, while Micah sadly couldn't. That's the very reason I think Micah ended up killing his own father; never having a chance to choose his own path.

Now, I don't blame Amos for disliking Micah, but I wish there was just a little sympathy he had for his brother, because he himself was in Micah's shoes for a good portion of both of their lives.

Unrelated: I find it very interesting Amos is the only on here that has his own name, and isn't Micah IV or something. Do you think this also influenced something between the two of them, that made them more distant? I know I would be pissed if my brother got his own name, while I had to continue family tradition. Just a thought.

Now, the Jenny Kirk situation is very tricky; we don't get much information about it. All he really says is that he 'had her', said she was a 'dirty little thing', how he felt for Lenny because he 'got her before he could', and last how she 'might have been carry Micah IV.', but that's really it.

We don't get anything else from Micah about it, or in the game in general. That really means it's left for interpretation of the fandom, which we know most will say that it was a non-con situation. Now—maybe a little controversial—I don't think that he necessarily assaulted her. I mean, he isn't ugly to everyone. Let's talk camp interactions; he fake-flirts with Susan Grimshaw, who plays into it. Would she be doing that if she thought him unattractive? I don't think so. Then again, I do wish we had some confirmation on this, like with other characters (Colm, Dutch etc.)

While on topic of that, I want to mention another thing. Whether or whether not Micah is a rapist, I think the fact that Dutch is confirmed to be one in RDR1 is just wayyy too overlooked, while everyone makes their speculations and accusations on Micah through a singular interaction with him. In RDR1, when Dutch is being described, one of the names is 'rapist' and I wish that more people talked about that, and not so much Micah's that isn't even hinted at to be an assault. But, to each their own.

Small edit: This was still wrong of Micah, considering Jenny's age. It's not exactly known, but she was very young (17-21) and absolutely out of his age range. Even if consensual between the two of them, it was very prominent that she was way too young to have sex with him, and that's on him as the older one in the situation.

Peter Blomquist getting sent threats was proof he could play an amazing villain, and it makes me pretty sad to think people don't know how to separate the character from his actor. It was pretty immature to send him literal threats, and I still sometimes see comments on his instagram, which is just insane. It's been years, and we still act this immature?

As far as Micah's racism comments go, the root is most likely also his father. But, I can't much excuse him there because I myself grew up around some very vulgar language about people of color. Not to forget, with me being Croatian, I was around when people still talked ill of Serbs because of the war. But, even as a very impressionable kid, I was able to grow myself out of it. I never spoke ill of Serbs or people of color. (Briefly while I was still around 12, but I feel that can be overlooked.) I think it's possible to change your views, and this is one of the few things where I can't much find a way to defend Micah, but I'll take into consideration his upbringing and the fact that during the Western times, a heap of people were practically all racist.

They may see themselves as vigilantes, but everyone in the gang is a bad person, that has done/is doing bad things. Micah is a bit more ruthless, that much I'll admit. But again, another ideal of his fathers and how he was brought up. "My daddy always said, sympathy is for the weak." He says even more lines like these, spreading his fathers' bad teachings because that's what he knows. But, I do find it very intriguing that he still spreads his fathers' word, even after killing him himself. Oh, Micah; my fellow daddy-issue-haver.

Yapping session completed chat, also good morning!!! I just woke up and saw this long ass ask and immediately rose to my feet. I love yapping with you guys <3

[biggie-chcese]

ranking rain code lets plays on how much i enjoy/would recommend them

hi did you know i am incredibly autistic about this game and have watched, in full, several lets plays of it? and im still going? haha yeah im normal. anyway here goes... all lets plays ive watched from best to worst:

#1 Highest recommendation: JustOneGamr. ESPECIALLY for people who are going in blind. im so serious. it's the best way to experience as much of the game as possible without playing it yourself. They go through all of the content, side quests, gumshoe gabs, profiles, DLC, and even most of the flavor text. it's also a no commentary run, which i personally see as a massive boon because they aren't influencing your opinions of the game

#2: Pixel Partners. they've got real good vibes and they actually do the side quests. it's also fun to listen to their theories and see their reactions. they're one of the few who dont spend their time complaining and give more valid constructive criticisms than others. they also have the funniest reaction to the chapter 5 reveal

#3: JohnAwesome. his humor sometimes isn't particularly for me but boy is his lets play enjoyable. also has lots of positive vibes and is generally pretty entertaining. i dont remember if he does side quests but im pretty sure he does. he will easily make chapter 4 even more gut wrenching thanks to a very specific kind of incompetence on his part, which in hindsight is really funny

#4: NyanCave. they're pretty fun and also have great vibes! i like their chemistry a lot. they have some pretty good theories and good jokes, but they will spend a lot of time on responding to chat donations. this is fine like get that bag kings but if you're impatient like me it might get annoying after a while lol. it's especially bad in chapter 5, where the tension dies because of their waifu fight donations

#5: NicoB. I was never really a NicoB fan because he's a bit too loud and high energy for me, but his rain code lets play is still pretty good! he seems to have fun playing the game and even has a few good jokes. i think he does the side quests which is a plus but i could be misremembering. i still quote "and now back to yuma crackhead" to this day so there's that

#6: Faz Faz. This another no commentary run but for people who are in a rush. they go through the game as quickly as possible. frankly, i think these kinds of lets plays are not as good as the ones that go through the sidequests, but hey, it's there if you just want the main plot and gumshoe gabs

#7: Save Data. I don't recommend this one to people experiencing rain code for the first time because they will talk over the cutscenes and dialogue and that will get annoying. they also complain quite a bit about the same things over and over which can also get tiresome (im sorry guys i do Not care about graphics as much as you do). however, they're really funny and it's good for a second or third experience of the game. "this city..." is a highly prevalent vocal stim for me thanks to them. they will shit on on the game often though, so if you really love rain code and dont want to hear that, then avoid this one lol. but you do get to see my art at the end of their vids! that's pretty cool!

#8: Rat Attack. i straight up don't recommend this one. it's easily the worst one i've seen and that's sad because i really love their pngtuber avatars. they're not finished with the game yet and that's probably because they spend so much time ranting and yapping about everything else, or just concocting the most baffling theories known to man and spending wayyy too much time on them. you will also hear a lot of unfunny halara gender jokes sorry. sometimes they are funny in other ways but it's honestly not worth it unless you're like me and keep watching out of obsession for the game.

that's all the ones ive watched in full (so far)! here's a couple others i haven't seen in full but have seen small parts of:

Weeby Newz - she's got some fun reactions from what ive seen and is pretty funny too. i have only really watched her play chapters 4 and 5 though, so i cant give a full opinion. i dont care for yakou fathero as a concept though and she seems pretty heavy on that, but if you like that you may enjoy her let's play. i may go back and finish it soon!

CurtStreamy - genuinely very funny from what ive seen though in chapter 5 his whole crew has a pretty fundamental misunderstanding of makoto's character, which can be a little irritating. either way, most of it is great but his live chat sucks. i still need to watch the rest in full to form a full opinion

CrystAAHHL - ohhh she did Not like this game lmao. she is a based makoto enjoyer though. i only watched the highlight reel though i think watching her full streams would just make me tired. i personally dont like watching lets plays if the person playing isnt having any fun

JazzyGuns - unfinished but she is really funny and has good vibes. if you can cope with her probably never finishing the game then go for it

khee chu - im still in the process of watching this one in full but it's fun so far. i will say CHECK OUT KHEE'S MERCH AND SHINIGAMI X JUNKO ART!!! THE ART IS RLY CUTE!!!!

and that's everything! there's other lesser known ones out there but im just one guy i cant watch em all despite how determined i am to do so </3 above all else i want people to get the game but like, yknow, some folks dont got $60 to spend on a game lol. anyway have fun and happy watching!

[honey-tongued-devil]

Ur so real for that rant post girl. Too many people are comfortable complaining about (insert niche or underused trope) not being present in free content. The complaint that there is 'too many' afab/women/generally fem leaning readers or whatever in fanfic is honestly so fucking stupid. Fanfiction and fandom spaces in general tend to be predominately populated by those kinds of ppl, then others are shocked when most of the art and writing is centered around those groups of ppl. The thing you mentioned with the ''thIs ChAraCtEr iS oBviOusLy GaY'' crowd that thinks their personal hc is gospel is suuuppperr annoying. Ive seen it with both silco and victor from arcane, if its a femreader or character you ship them with bitches go ballistic over some pixels that according to them are clearly gay or something. Even with characters like astarion who are cannonically attracted to women it happens.

Ppl are even bitter enough to post things like '' *insert character* x fem!reader hc: He leaves you for a man '' then proceed to not male reader stuff themselves but will whine and shit their pants over the lack of male or amab creations. Like the math aint mathing. At the end of the day you dont get to complain about free art and writing not catering to your specific taste, fan works are made by people not content cows. If you want something written, write it ya self.

I’m honestly confused that I haven’t received backlash, but I guess they’ve just chosen to ignore me (especially since even in the comments, people seem to agree with me).

Regarding people pushing headcanons: I swear, my patience is at zero. I was blocked en masse for drawing Astarion with myself because “Astarion is obviously gay.” As if I didn’t pay my €60 for the game and didn’t do the romance route with him—who is canonically bisexual. No character has a declared sexuality, except for a few in BG3, but even then, it’s apparently never enough, and people will still hassle you. This applies to Astarion, Silco, and literally any character.

And, as someone wrote in the comments: “He’s obviously gay because he’s flamboyant is not the hot take you think it is; it’s just a harmful stereotype."

+ I’ll happily repeat what I’ve said in the comments: I’m AFAB, a lesbian, and non-binary. I walk around in heels and a second-hand pink faux-fur coat. I could write a reader that reflects me, but I don’t. I choose to write neutral readers or tackle other issues because I’m the first to think representation matters. I’ve been there, reading things and never finding myself represented. But—and this is a big “but”—I’m a small artist who, unironically, starts creating art non-stop at 9 AM. I’m not paid unless someone decides to support me. Everything I make is for me.

If someone makes a request that inspires me and I have time, I might do it. I draw things and post them. I work for free, which means nobody has the god-given right to harass me.

Want to complain about representation? Take it up with Netflix or another big corporation, not with me—a 24-year-old Italian recent graduate who, instead of minding her own business, spends her time creating free content. Especially because, when I make fanart that focuses solely on the characters I like, nobody cares that I’m a femme in the fandom. But the moment I draw myself with a character, suddenly there are too many women and too much content for them, and I become a problem.

I’m not going to draw things I have zero interest in just because someone else can’t be bothered to make it themselves. Especially when my inbox is full of over 100 requests from people who ask politely and behave respectfully even if I can’t fulfill their requests. The issue here is that someone has convinced you (not you op, I'm happy to yap) it’s your right to be misogynistic and a pain in the ass, and that’s just not the case.

[eonars]

ive tried like 3 times now so i guess im gonna do this in parts

so last thursday i went out with a man id been talking to off An App since before i went on that work trip, the conversation over text wasnt necessarily flowing ever and there were some long pauses while i was away that had me convinced it was joever but he always popped back up and even asked me how things were going and what i was doing. so we meet up the day after i get back and across 3 different bars and 5 drinks we get on like a house on fire. both like the same music (we were both at the same music festival in early august, talked about that a ton obviously) both play the same games (both main death knight and do very high mythic plus keys in wow) and as we get more comfortable with each other we start holding hands and intertwining legs and stuff while sat down. we make all kinds of plans for future concerts to go to together ranging from aura noir in like 2 weeks to him saying he will let me know if he ends up with a spare ticket to sigur ros in november because if he does he'll definitely take me along. we talk about different horror movies to watch together and he lets me yap on nonstop about fish related stuff, which he's actually super knowledgeable about and tells me i sound so lovely when i talk about it and i explain things so well that anyone could understand them and that it's amazing to listen to. he says he's so proud to know someone so intelligent who might actually do something notable for science and put this country on the map for scientific discoveries. we talk about art and he asks me what my favorites are in the national gallery in town and why and we discuss them. i mention i do art and he asks to see and literally can't contain himself when i show him and says i'm amazingly talented. things are going so well and the conversation about music and games and concerts and art and science has not idled or stopped once that when he's like oh shit i have to run for the train i'm like well instead of running we can continue having drinks here and then wait for the trains to start again at mine? and he's super down so we head back to mine and crowd together on my tiny twin bed in my tiny bedroom sized flat and he lets me put on jewels of the rift, the crunchy jpg quality reuploaded ancient natgeo documentary about cichlids i watch on youtube every time im feeling down. i tell him wow i've never been able to convince anyone to watch jewels of the rift with me before and he's like ohh don't worry i'm here now and about 40 minutes into jewels of the rift things get a bit 😏 but i stop things from going tooooo too far and we both have the worst nights sleep ever on a 90cm wide bed as two 6ft+ people who have been drinking heavily. he leaves at 7:30am and hugs me and quietly says it was really nice to meet me and i tell him to text me when he gets in which he doesn't so i text a little bit later asking if he got in ok. he says he only just woke up then and because i know he has work that night i ask how it's going and he just says it's going ok. i reply with a half joking type thing about how i hopefully didn't give him the german engineering university plague and get left on read so on sunday i text asking if he'd be interested in hanging out again sometime and then put my notifications off and go into the woods. i don't realize he replies 5 min later with "I'm a bit busy these coming weeks. But we can probably go to a concert or something sometime if you want :)" which feels really. not good to read. and so i reply back saying i'm definitely going to the aura noir show we talked about in like 10 days so just let me know and get left on read. it's now thursday and i still haven't heard anything and like.

[pin-poo]

in canon terms, how do you think ada and ashley would develop? (I'm not hating, i love your art! I'm just curious on their development in your shipping vision, or friendship too!)

OH THATS GREAT IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO TALK ABOUT IT ANYWAY THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUU SM !!! (English is not my first language but I'll try my best)

(Before i start I'll just say that i'm not aiming to hate on any other pairings shippers, this is my vision for funsies and i absolute adore those pairs !!!)

(also sorry i yapped too much about everything about them but i answered you properly in the final of this text...I'm sorry again...)

"Ahh but HOW...like...she CLEARLY hated Ashley..." walk w me for a moment hihihihihihihi.....

ok, for starts:

In an indirect way, Ashley served part in the development that Ada had in RE4, mainly in the remake, but i mean in a way that, if Luis and Leon weren't fully involved in the mission (in that case, the three of them working together simultaneously in spain) her development wouldn't work, and i mean, even if it was just Leon. I was talking to a friend about this, that she did changed in a lot of stuff for her vision, like the end of the game after her talk with Wesker. (Will talk about this better later)

In general, I like to think they would have a cute dynamic for a friendship and (if it would be even possible) a relationship. If you read between the lines of the game, you can see that to some extent Ashley was counting on Ada on their team (Leon, Ada, Ashley and Luis) and that she would leave with them anyway, she counted on her, even if it was the slighest, because she saw how she helped Leon so she thought she could trust her and (i think) that's why she talks so indignantly in this scene here !!!!

Now before i continue, let's come back to Ada's development

It's a basic information for those who played the game and the DLC that she was helping Luis because he was the one to give her the Sample, inevitably, seeing from the outside, the two of them formed a bond that may not have been very very strong, but that marked Ada in some way, With the knowledge that Leon was also involved in this mission + was also infected, she decides to help him, as always. It was all like Raccoon City again, getting a sample, helping Leon, but Ashley wasn't in the history, which kind of changed the course of things. As she was Leon's mission, while Ada helped him, she also indirectly helped Ashley, and not in an obvious way, but you can see this in several scenes of her giving clues.

And this gets to a point where she starts to consider Ashley, not as a friend or anything like that, but that she was part of Leon's mission and that Ada was realizing that she was helping her too, which didn't change anything for her, except for considering her in the story in some way. (Literally this scene, we know she said because Ashley was Leon's mission but COME ON I LOVE LILY GAOS VOICE BEING SO SOFT AND THE WAY SHE SAID IT DOESNT HELP ME AND MY DELUSIONAL SHIPPING AGENDA SO PLEASEEEEE)

One very noticeable thing is the way she never says Ashley's name explicitly, it was always something like "your friend" or "the president's daughter" but even so, she wasn't stupid enough not to notice that helping hand she gave.

moving on to the part where she realizes that Leon and Ashley were promising together to leave that island safe and sound and without infection in honor of Luis, Ada saw that and realized that they were all connected in some way, and that's why she didn't hesitate to help them, but you can see that when Leon makes the call with her and hangs up, she says "Don't die on me now" because Leon's death would affect her a lot, in the same way that Luis's death somehow affected her too, she was afraid of losing Leon, so she hadn't realized that she had changed in some things (like honoring other people and being able to help other people, after she only used to save Leon against her work and missions, and that ended up including Ashley in the middle but again, she ignored it, because it wouldn't make any difference to her at that moment or later, a different situation from Leon, since they meet frequently out and in their jobs.)

and the story continues to unfold like this, until the point where they meet face-to-face:

What to say about this meeting? A lot of people didn't liked it/liked it but used to interpret Ada's reaction as pure dislike or jealousy, but i didn't saw much like that. If you think in a way, Ada was already going to help Leon, Ashley saying it or not, but when she said that to her, the way she was meeting the face of the girl she was indirectly helping this WHOLE time and the mere thought that someone has expectations in her actions (like in a way she would think "so they DO count on me...") even if they weren't close or didn't talked once, made her realize that she did changed somewhere, in the way that people started to trust or see forward for her actions beyond what she did and who she killed, because well Ashley definitely obviously didn't knew she was a mercenary, or even a spy, but i think that if she did knew that the meeting or the way she saw ada wouldn't be different, since Leon trusted her.

Talking about jealousy, i also don't think these lines were about it:

I think that seeing Ada more than once helping them made her think they could interact or perhaps ask her for help too, or maybe be friends ! (I don't think it was in a jealous way, and if it was, i don't care too, I'm just explaining what i analyzed and made my own takes about it, but i don't judge who does think those lines and scenes meant that way, i just think that seeing things in other ways is fun c: )

So lets say that through all the game, her development was molding brick by brick and it showed result when Ashley showed to trust her with Leon, and in that way she started to help people that weren't just him or affiliances (if you've played re6 you'll know what scenes and parts im talking about).

Now to dive into a more fanon scenario (which is...what you asked...im sorry) i think Ada would be a good helper to Ashley in the parts of the game where she was separated from Leon, and one exclusively part of the game made me think what would happen, this part being the interval that Leon had when he passed out in Luis's lab and when he woke up, what if Ada showed up there? Like knowing that they were infected, and that Leon asked for her help to go there, she would have gone just to check on him and end up seeing that Ashley was awake, would they have had a better dialogue? And we will never know, but there's a fic that im absolutely in love with (and im also doing a comics of it too) and it's this one

Anyway their dynamic would be like Nana/Hachi's or perhaps Therese/Carol's (because of the age gap lol its accurate since therese is like 19-21 and carol is 30-34), and also I think if Ashley would ever need help, she could lend a hand, like calling it a "babysit time" or "something that must be quick since she have stuff to do" but she ends up doing it anyway... thanks for asking this also, i would love to explore further their pair as platonic or/and romantic this year since they're both characters that i adore a lot !!!! I have a lot to share with them but I think that's enough for today,

XOXO !! (*^▽^)/★*☆♪

[angel-atelier]

Kitty Killpop Moodboard

I had fun doing this so I might do more in the future, who knows

Some little facts abt her under the cut!

𖤓 She’s inspired by ocs of the days of yore. Shes is supposed to be kind of like those __ the killer ocs but a bit more serious.

𖤓 Kitty has only killed 1 person on her own, and She has a guilty conscience about it. Without Jeff being there, she really has to think and purposely go through with it. She helps Jeff kill people most of the time and because it's "bonding." In a mansion au she'd probably be more open to it tho lol

𖤓 Her full name is Katherine Anne Rosewood

𖤓 She participated in beauty pageants, a kid into her late teens. She only did one more when she came out of the hospital. She ended up winning, but that really set her off, she won because of pity. Her face and neck were torn open, how could she possibly win a beauty pageant? She never wanted to do them in the first place.

𖤓 She has a lot of issues with autonomy. Dating Jeff, besides the fact that they love each other, makes her feel more in control. The fact that her family would be horrified if they knew she was dating the man who disfigured her makes her love him even more to spite them.

𖤓 Incredibly school smart, she was top of virtually every class except for a brief stint in her youth. Kitty's parents had high expectations of her, but she was pretty dedicated without their pressure.

𖤓 She only ended up graduating HS, the stares she received, plus her deteriorating mental health led her to isolate for a few months after HS until she decided to track Jeff down

𖤓 She impersonated a PI to find Jeff, interviewing the few other survivors, tracking him. She left home, claiming she had found a job halfway across the country. In the main au I have for Kitty, Jeff is a wanted serial killer, but his name is not publicly available info.

𖤓 Jeff and hers relationship is really complicated and isn't necessarily healthy because of their history, but they really do love each other. Their life is fairly domestic minus the killing and hiding.

𖤓 Kitty loves astrology and loves to yap to Jeff about the moon. She's a Sagittarius, and Jeff is a Virgo.

Here are the two drawings ive done of her: 1 & 2

[nonpositiveartist]

haiihai there. leanne has been a fixation of mine since about 2022, her & gears having been my main hyperfixation/special interest since then aswell and ive written a lot about her specifically and i love seeing ur art with her in them !! truly your art is amazing, im so glad u mentioned that ur blog is a safe space for people who think his past has a lot to do with his character & wants to yap about it LOL

do u have any headcanons for it aswell ?? i really like hearing people’s thoughts on his character prior to the foundation !! thank u sm for posting ur art on here it’s truly wonderful 🫶🫶

I am ashamed to say that it's only recent days that I have started developing an obsession over Gears' past in connection to Leanne so right now I don't have a thing as stable as "headcanons", but instead I have items just as interesting to observe.

These are questions. Like yeah, when I attempt to make a headcanon for a character it seems to me not as "what would I like for this character to be", but "what would my answers to questions related to their story be", because I just need some kind of founding ground for my statements or something like that right?

Either case it's probably going to be a long ramble so beware.

Question 1. How in hell that family ever ended up to be?

What I mean is: was China as a country ever literally involved in their relations' beginning? Did Leanne's family already lived in US/UK/ wherever you imagine Gears spending his pre-Foundation days (some fan-wikis claim he's American but some like to hc him as British or other European, like German so idk what is your option there), or was it Gears actually having some kind of work/tourist/other kind of trip to China, where he ended up meeting Leanne and the two fell in love with each other?

If for my current answer to this. Considering Charles'... "better say 'absent' than 'present" knowledge of Chinese, I doubt it really was a "work trip". It could of been some kind of Foundation business, you say, but I doubt Gears had anything in connection to Foundation (apart from his father) before Alison was born, see later why.

Also I guess it doesn't matter as much of where they met, but the fact that Leanne despite everything managed to keep her home's culture and language with her, and bypass some of it onto her and Gears' daughter. Because, yeah, I fancy Leanne still keeping in to some of the Chinese traditions. It'd be interesting to see how that could affect their marriage' routine and all such, y'know?

Question 2. At what point did it begin to fall apart?

Firstly let me state on one important thing here. The most ideas about Gears' past and his family specifically are influenced by no other tale but Work Journal by Dr. Gears, which is a continuation of his very Splinters, and thematically it is an attempt of grown-up Alison to investigate just how had her father gone missing, leaving her mother mourning to death and herself helplessly watching that.

So the most important headcanon that I have already settled in stone from said series: Gears used to be a university professor. Not only because hey that's some nice fitting aesthetic for younger him, but also because the plot needs him to be somehow involved with public organizations to be noticed by the Foundation folks, right? Although, let's be fair there.... If Gears wouldn't keep going upturning and looking under the wrong stones and thinking about all those abnormalous incidents (a hecking storeroom filled with boxes of newspapers to be found later by Alison, darnit!), good chances are he would remain with his family for good deal of years. But no, of course, should of noticed Pathos Crow Proffesor Kanin's works and reach out to him for sake of collectivial conspiracy. And I believe that at the moment Gears wrote to Kanin, the latter one was already somehow involved in Foundation's business. Maybe he was that your kind of bait agent used for recruiting, really. Considering that the series of tales that goes in dimension parallel to Work Journals, one where Alison actually wraps her guts together and becomes Black Queen, it is directly mentioned that there had been a critical period in Foundation's history when they had to basically kidnap a good crowd of people because of the emergency lack of staff, it does seem fair to me.

But yeah, what I think is that Charles became able to spend his time (up to daily overworkings even when at home, which is highlighted in Work Journals, Alison calling her father something in the sorts of "overly enthusiastic, slightly possessed (can not remember the exact wording of it but the impression it left was this I swear)" person) only when he had put some serious roots at his workplace, both physically as that university he used to work and give lectures at, and mentally as in that field of research. When the income became stable, when his daughter grew up a lil bit so he'd have less worries on a daily basis, all that.

Plus of all Alison remembers that in her childhood Gears yet kept relations with his university pals, and it was in her presence that the arguments of "you're fucking paranoic, Gears!" began to unravel.

Also I wanna say that this whole period of Gears' attempts to create a conspiracy investigation heavily remind me of the first episodes of 3 Body Problem (the chinese one series, year 2023), which are based on the novel but whatever. Long story short: nearly all researchers of theoretical physics in the world had gotten involved into some mythic conspiracies and kept committing suicides, leaving no traces behind but notes of "physics does not exist". And so that claim of "physics does not exist" somehow feels to me like a phrase that could of gotten into Gears' head at some moment. ESPECIALLY considering that in the other tale (can't remember rn, sorry), he had decided to warn Alison away from her science career after she had published an article involving some kind of grand physics problem (dark matter, was it?). It just matches up too perfectly and I just can't- kasdlkaldkas-

Question 3. Oh dear did she knew?

Yeah. To what extent of attempts did Leanne go to just get hecking informed on why does her husband locks himself up in studies for three days in a row, or why out of sudden all his university colleagues had started calling him a psycho, or why in generally had Gears started to act so paranoid?

If there is anything I solidly think of their relationships right now, which are very few of things, is that the most of mental comfort in that family was going from Leanne, at least in these, later phases when everything was ruining apart. Remember her condition getting all worse and worse after her husband was gone, Alison directly claiming it's because "she couldn't take it anymore"? Leanne seems to me as a person too empathetic to just stay aside when her loved one proceeds destroying himself like this. And somehow I feel, that to a certain extent she actually did knew what was going on. Maybe it didn't go as far as Alison's research, finding out all those storerooms and letters to other researchers, but some kind of observations surely were done I think.

Also, sometimes I like to imagine this one outcome, which does sound rather OOC or canon-rules breaking in general, but still..

Why are senior researchers are not allowed to have vacations among normal people, in what I call to be the Outside? And, in the worst cases - left to their quarters or the closest town to their Site, in the best (or mentally worst for said employee) - sent out to some kind of touristic-place kind of reservation in Foundation's ownership?

(just in case: this whole pararaph above is heavily inspired by Stephen King's Firestarter and this whole plot about Maui's campground. Actually the whole novel works as a good reference for Foundation's inner business, as well as for humanoid SCPs' struggles, it is fine recommendation from me here)

Because senior researchers know too much and are too known to actually get targeted by other GOIs the moment they leave Foundation's territory. As for the juniour folk, well... who cares? One man more, one man less... as long as he's a no one, no one does really.

So yeah, imagine one year away from Gears' date of disappearence. Alison's away at summer camp, Leanne has to overclock on her job to keep things stable. And one day, she comes back home — and there is that idiot just sitting at the table with expression of both "ha, surprised you" and "hey, we need to talk". Not yet an apathetic brickwall of a human, but already someone rather different both from the jovial man he was before his "investigation" and from that paranoic he became as a result of it. And so he does his best in avoiding mentioning Foundation directly but still walking around that "government's conspiracy doesn't allow me here anymore" concept, trying to give Leanne the idea that it's better for all three of them if things go like this and he is gone. That he still cares, but can not do it any other way because of all of the mistakes he had done, the major one deciding to go into this paranomral field of research in the first place. That whatever happens to him Leanne shall not be worried about anymore and well you get it, angst. Yet, before Gears leaves at the end of the night, the two agree: Alison shall not know about any of that. It is easier to believe that your father is just a mentally fucked up asshole who went out for milk and ditched both women who cared about him rather than "my papa's gotten enslaved by above-government forces for sake of keeping the world safe from Chtulhu-like species!".

And so Leanne had kept it away from Alison. She knew her husband is alive and is probably that or so okay there, but it doesn't make the weight of longing any easier, right? So she had withered away eventually, leaving their daughter alone to deal with this entire mess.

This, of course, is a rather unbelievable scenario. Good chances are Leanne really never knew the details of what have happened. She sure did not consider her husband to be an asshole for his leaving, as she suspected it to be somehow connected to his paranoic behaviour and all his research work in general. It's just that the idea of Gears' indecisiveness about burning all of the bridges behind him that bothers me a lot these days. Even as he became that apathetic lad we know him as, he still had kept some of the empathy for humanity as a whole and certain people in particular right? So in his earlier Foundation years it should of been even more intense.

Question 4. How's it on the other side?

What I mean here is — we never really know how heavily Gears ever repented leaving his family behind, if he was ever doing that. In Epitaph it is claimed that he carries no personal possessions (like photos) on himself nor leaves them in his office anywhere. If there'd be a ring, Iceberg would sure mention that. And sure, Gears could of taken it off to actually avoid questions from his colleagues (which is justified, considering how Iceberg mentioned scooping around the man's drawers in that same tale). Yet, we don't know how many years have been there between Gears' recruitment and Iceberg's beginning under Gears' chiefery. Ten, twenty, more? So to say that Gears did not mourn whatsoever is just as foolish to say that he still does mourn for all that happy life he have lost in the present.

My idea here is simple: he did regret, he did blame himself, but in the most of timelines at the present moment (since Epitaph and later, as it's the one tale where we are introduced to Gears as he is nowadays) he had buried it within and it is more of a scar that probably, yes, aches sometimes but deserves no crying about. At least in his own perspective, as that of a person who already experiences significant troubles about feelings and "I know what I should do with them but I simply can't".

And now I think it have already gotten extensive enough to make sure that no more than 2 people will ever read it down to this point, so here I finish for now. I still need to actually think thoroughly about Gears' pre-Foundation times because now it is all too raw to really be taken seriously.

[fulloflambing]

just yap about my most recent work (how i made it, the alternate plots or endings), and my future posts :D

writing that story took soooo much brain juice from me i feel like my brain has become a wringed sponge. im honestly rlly proud i managed to finish it😭

ive had writing experience before here on tumblr but i never rlly put alot of effort into it and it often made me feel bad about how i finished my stories. i always just thought about a vague plot, typed away, and posted it. some people enjoyed it n i was grateful for that but whenever id reread my own stories it would make me criticize myself and make me unmotivated to write, which eventually made me delete my old writeblr.

but ever since i've come back, and especially with 'heaven can wait', i rlly took my time to rewrite things i didnt find fitting. ive stopped writing just to post, but writing to actually enjoy and better my skills. im honestly proud of myself for taking the time to do that because i am, truthfully, a very impatient person n i hate redoing things. actually, i rewrote the story by like the 3.5k word mark TWICE and made sure i was truly happy with it. the plot was actually supposed to go two ways!:

kinich would find reader in their home, and they could comfort eachother real quick in the house before kinich escorted them to the survival shelter. kinich would then make a promise to reader to come back alive and boom boom fighting wham he comes back to them and boom emotional reunion!

^ i changed my mind halfway while writing this because i wanted the story to have more depth and to make it more about reader and kinich both experiencing grief and negative emotions more. this plotline was just too lovey dovey and chill for my liking.

2. kinich reunites with the reader in the end by finding her dead asleep in the tribe's infirmary.

^ i didnt like this ending because i felt like it would've been a boring climax to the heavy emotions of reader as she was separated from kinich thinking he was dead. does that make sense? like it felt like a boring way to end off y/n's part after building up all these negative thoughts swirling in their mind just for her not to even see kinich come back from war to have those negative thoughts be swooped away from her in a romantic light. it was cute tho, kinich would've been whispering 'im home' as he admired reader as they recovered but i didnt want a calm ending for the story. i wanted a passionate, emotional reunion type :) like very 'light after the storm'-esque type of ending!

some parts of the story i dont like but i feel like is the part i could do for the story was how mavuika defeated the abyss? i CANT WRITE ACTION FOR SHYT!!!! so it took so much deleting and rewriting and paraphrasing it actually got me a headache just to write that small section 😭😭

on a more exciting note, the next thingy ill write is probably for kinich's birthday! im very torn about what ill write and when ill write it because i have exams right after kinichs bday so i dont think ill have time to write for it.

but after i figure out and post a birthday special for kinich, i'll be writing a more angsty, heartbroken-y story kind of related to 'heaven can wait' but if things went wrong. its really not an alternate ending, more of like "if it ended this way, this would've happened." its been a plot thats been marinating in my head for awhile and i think you guys will rlly like it! its gonna be angst with comfort but still sad ending hihi sorry.

i have alot of canon fanfic ideas that i wna write as soon as possible but i feel like i should switch it up and write some modern!au fics. and maybe with other characters (my other favs! capitano, xiao, thoma, etc.). i also feel like i have to prepare a 100 follower special soon but i have nooo idea what to do for it huhu THANK U BTW GUYS FOR 81 FOLLOWERS AAA IM SO TOUCHED

in short, i have a lot and i mean srsly alot of kinich ideas rn but my schedule is gonna be cramped this week. but after ill be free again! my problem is i just dont know what to write first 😔💔

anyway, maybe ill do a poll or something :) ILL SEE WHAT I CAN DO!!

if you've read this far, thank u sm and i appreciate it >< ill do my best to write as much as i can.

[freakenomenon]

Hello I am SO sorry for sending so many asks I hope it is not bothering you 🙇

I super love your AM and Ellen post GDYSJAHSHSGSG I think people get so hyper focused on AM and Ted they kind of sideline the rest of the casts dynamic with him and so it’s SO GREAT to see content and essays with him and Ellen ( who is also pretty sidelined by the game and novella )

Secondly, I was sort of thinking about how AM in particular is the ‘yankee’ version of an Allied Mastercomputer which lead me to think about the Soviet and Chinese counterparts.

( specifically China, I’ll expand on this if I’m asked because I do not want to take up more of your time then I already am )

I think in a twisted way the AM the five are stuck with is the embodiment of American freedom, they can go where they want, call him what they want, there’s no civilization left or laws .. ( unless their instructions from AM, naturally ) and I wonder, if that’s supposed to be a commentary on the politics of the west and America. And if juxtaposed with the Soviet or Chinese supercomputers, if they would torture what remained of humanity differently because of the contrasting politics of the 60’s?

( Im so sorry that my ask got THIS LONG OMG )

RAGHHH I don't mind at all dw!! I currently don't have anything better to do and your asks are actually quite thought provoking,, and i will NEVER pass up an opportunity to yap

first of all grrhraagguhhhg yeah it pisses me off so bad to see people completely disregard the other survivors dynamics with AM,, especially since. looks around discreetly ,, half of the time ted and AM posts are completely mischaracterizing BOTH characters but. that's neither here nor there.

secondly this is VERY interesting actually. considering IHNMAIMS is initially both an anti AI AND an anti war message you're definitely onto something. ive always thought that AM, despite his entire character. is a very HUMANE display of evil. hatred isnt something instilled within someone. it's TAUGHT. AM is nothing more than a reflection of the horrid nature in humanity, both within the curse of human nature itself ( hate, jealousy, sorrow, want ) , and what the most depraved crevices within the species are capable of. I mean think about the implications of AM feeding all the "killing data" ? He was taught. Not even. BORN to kill and maim and RUIN. and the only thing on this earth that could instill such a disgusting purpose is HUMANITY. Because our time, as stated in the story. Was poorly spent.

And if you apply this to the American government, sad as it is. It's the same situation. Propaganda and artificial reassurance of change is so dystopian yet so common within this system. And as you said, we can wander, we can wonder, we can wish. But the most it appears we can outwardly do to attempt at causing some kind of change is shake our fists at that starred flag.

Lastly, I am not very informed on the torture methods of other countries since I am but a filthy american. ( not my fault my ancestors were brought here in chains, but oh well what can you do! ) but it is a very interesting thought, in the game the Russian and Chinese Supercomputers had very differing personalities and more composure than AM. They were still clearly very resentful in some aspects. But there is a clear difference. But alas, their characters escape me because of how confusing the games ending is if you don't end up getting slugged.

if this doesn't make sense i apologize i am so sleep deprived ^_^;