#if only i could actually write SIGH
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
hii Yokan! i miss you!😭
how are you? how is work?? I hope everything is going well<3
rn there's a little Comic Con in my city, and it really did help my mood!! (even tho I throwed up 6 times and fainted during the morning of the first day due to the heat and lack of iron🥲) 2 days down, 2 more to go 🙏
ANYWAYS! I know you've been going through a writer's block lately, and I read a post that said something about asking/commenting about the fictions to help the "stucked" autor, SO!
I've been re-reading TW III (shocking, I know) and those little hints about married!kc are just 😭😭 my heart melts, really, although... I was never really sure you'd get them married, mostly due to Care's speech to Cami about how Klaus supposedly sees weddings, and because I remember you saying that you weren't planning on giving them an actual marriage, but rather the closest thing next to it. I checked to comments to see other thoughts, and I saw one of you reply saying that you were completely against married!kc at the start, but then you were slowing changing your mind about it...
so, what was it that made you say "fuck it, I'm gonna ring the bells"?? is it because many people asked you to do it, so you are throwing us a bone, or is it something else?? I'm really interest on hearing the process of your change of heart <3
have a good one, friend <3 love you xoxo
I don't know if I am eloquent enough or if my train of thought makes much sense, but I will try 😂
Also grab a chair because this will be a long one. Be careful what you ask me, I do not know how to shut the fuck up 🙃
Objectively, I still think Klaus is not the marrying kind (in canon context, at least). That man has been alive for a thousand years. He's the vampire of vampires, one who sees humans as a lower species. He's used to getting what he wants by conquering and subjugating because he can. Why would he ever submit himself to an inherently human institution that, throughout history, has served as a tool for various types of social, political and religious control? The ceremony itself doesn't mean anything to him. He probably thinks it's ridiculous and performative, not to mention extremely frail. You can just change your mind and get a divorce, or the good old spouse murder, and then what? What's even the point?
(Just to be clear: I'm not personally preaching against weddings and marriages here btw, it's just how I think Klaus might have seen it.)
If you look at it from the sentimental side, Klaus spent almost a thousand years saying that love is a sign of weakness, a character flaw. He carried his siblings, the only people he genuinely cared about, inside coffins because he didn't trust them enough not to leave him, betray him or end up captured and killed by one of his enemies. Now, why would he want to marry someone, thus exposing yet another vulnerability to be exploited?
Having said that 😂
When we first see Klaus in TVD he's trying to surround himself with a whole new OP supernatural species that will have no choice but to stand with him. They will protect him, they will go to war for him, do whatever he asks them to and they will never leave (or that's what he thought, anyway) because they don't have a choice. That is the only way Klaus knows how to trust people: by completely removing their capacity to challenge him. That's how paranoid he is.
But as the story progresses, and especially with The Wolf in particular because it takes their relationship much further than the show, Klaus realizes there is more than one way to earn people's trust. I feel like that's one of the pillars of his relationship with Caroline. He could've just compelled her (in TVD, not TW because she's a witch), but he never did because he wanted more from her than obedience. All of the things he liked about her - her personality, her honesty, her fire, her loyalty - would've been essentially erased or made meaningless if he'd compelled her. Which puts her in direct opposition to how he related to his hybrids, right? He pretends to be fine with people who have no choice but to follow him, but what he really craves is more real than that. He surrounds himself with people who will worship the ground he walks on after some forged "gratitude" for releasing them of their curse, but he is fascinated by how gutsy Caroline is to look him in the eye and tell him the things that no one else will dare to. What he really seeks but doesn't have the courage to admit is that he wants someone who will choose to be with him. And that's the difficult part, because it can't be conquered or taken, it has to be earned.
Klaus comes from a place of paranoia and extreme distrust of everything and everyone around him, especially after Mikael in New Orleans, and he feels very isolated and alone. He tells Stefan about that, right? The loneliness of immortality. When The Wolf starts, in spite of how he and Caroline were having a bit of a thing before it, he's not sure she would want to stay with him. Actually, he thinks the first chance she gets, she's gonna bail. It's why he's mad when he thinks she wants to terminate the pregnancy. It's not about the baby (it's never about the baby), he couldn't care less about the damn baby at that point, it's the fact that he thinks she's trying to get rid of him, as if that pregnancy is the one thing that is holding them together at that point and so if she's no longer pregnant, she doesn't have to be with him. What I'm very inarticulately trying to say is that his initial approach to Caroline being pregnant is the same he had with his hybrids, as if the baby is a version of a sire bond. It's crazy and dysfunctional, yes, but it's how Klaus rationalizes it, how he thinks he gets to keep people around him - either through daggering them or giving them no choice.
Slowly, Klaus internalizes the fact that Caroline is choosing him. She tells him that a few times throughout the story, and even when he's hallucinating her at the beginning of TW4, because that's something that she has said before and that has stuck with him for reason. She could've left him at any point, but she didn't because she wants to be with him. It's a choice that she has made not because he forced her to, but because she's in love with him. She protects him, she fights for him, she walks through hellfire for him because she wants to, not because she must. He has earned her trust and her love and her loyalty. And that is something that is new for Klaus in his one thousand years of life, at least at this magnitude and with this much clarity and certitude.
So I think when I started writing TW3, which was them in their domestic era, it started to feel like something Klaus might actually do. Not just because it obviously does mean something to Caroline and he would basically do anything for her (even though she never asks for it, which in itself is something, because Caroline comes from relationships that made her feel so insecure and unsafe that she would've held on to a ring like a lifeline, but with Klaus she simply does not need hard evidence to feel safe and reassured, she knows how Klaus feels about her, she's very comfortable in their relationship, she knows that what offers her means a lot more than a thousand weddings to other people ever would - even though she does still love a good wedding lol), but because it suddenly makes sense to him. Not the big party, or the tradition of it, or making it official or anything of the sort, but as a way to externalize what he feels. There is a symbolism to it that while not ideal, it might be the closest to thing to expressing just how devoted he is to her and how she is, pure and simple, eternity for him. When that comes from someone who has lived for as long he has, and who has been as cynical as he was for as long as he was, it does mean something, even if nothing else does.
There is a territorial factor to it as well, of course. 😌 He's a very possessive man and so he wants everyone to know Caroline is his, and it's why it first came to him during the thing with Jackson, but it's more than just that. If it was just about that, he wouldn't do it. He is at a point where he no longer has any doubts about how Caroline feels for him (although there will be a little something something on that front at the beginning of TW4, just because they've been apart for so long, but it will be quickly dispelled).
The most sacred thing for Klaus was the vow he took with his siblings when they fled Viking Falls. They stuck together through everything because of that. He knows the value of a vow and a promise. And he wants a version of that with Caroline. It's the first time in his life when he contemplates genuinely offering that to someone other than his family. There are a million ways he could go about it, probably, but he knows asking her to marry him is the one that will be most representative to her, because of the age where she was born and how she grew up, etc.
And so that is why I decided that Klaus was going to buy a ring even though I crossed my heart and hoped to die a million times for years when people asked me about that. 😂 I just think it's the natural course this story has taken. It's long enough that it eventually made sense to me that he might do it.
Does any of that make sense???? I don't know! I just typed my stream of thought and hoped for the best and now I'm afraid to read it again, so apologies if it's just crazy words.
Now if only I can get back to writing and actually get to that part. 🥲 Pray for me 🙏
THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK! 🙃 Here have a pretty married Klaroline gif.
#yokan answers#rosedforbes#BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK ME#klaroline#the wolf universe#if only i could actually write SIGH
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
The L Word: Lookbook ↳ 2.01, Life, Loss, Leaving
#the l word#jennifer schecter#mia kirshner#bette porter#jennifer beals#shane mccutcheon#kate moennig#tina kennard#laurel holloman#kit porter#pam grier#ivan aycock#kelly lynch#dana fairbanks#erin daniels#alice pieszecki#leisha hailey#carmen de la pica morales#sarah shahi#ok i tried to find the two random farmers market lesbians but i couldnt#easily the highlight of the ep for me but also tbf anytime the l word has LESBIANS in the background or whatever who look anything less tha#the supermodel perfect appealing main ensemble my eyes get huge and i see You. I . See. You. doesnt even matter if theyre just acting lets#just enjoy the peeks of reality the l word gives us so briefly#jenny staring at them Sigh jenny u were so butchfemme tbh if only chaiken knew how to 'write' or could envision lesbians who didnt look lik#like... like this like that like perfectly feminine conventionally attractive amalgamations of Showtime Produced Television#anyway her staring at them and also soon when she gets the haircut like i just know what u are#anyway theyre all cute here i also forgot this was the bizarre kit realising ivan is like i dont even know actually like whatever#more of my tags will be along this line as this entire season goes down again#but again jennys cute waitress outfit and ugh#tlwlb
251 notes
·
View notes
Text
hi i wanted to draw my own au so have a snippet of scene i rewrote like 12 times and will likely rewrite again
#was thinking about captioning this with uhhh the written version of the scene in my drafts#but its mostly just dialogue#so youre not missing much#i hope i convey the emotion well through expression#sigh part of the reason im hesitant about making this au a comic instead of a fic is that like. most of what ive written for it is prose-#-that doesnt translate that well visually?#a lot of the storytelling for this au i think is told better with narration#so if/when i ever like. share the whole story#it will likely just be a fic#but i suck at sharing unfinished writing on tumblr so what i post here is mostly scenes i wrote turned into comics#<- partially to gauge interest! i like knowing if people care about what im making#but also partially just because i REALLY like this au. its super self indulgent#i know i only draw angsty shit for it but i swear its about friendship ok. like half of what ive written is really sweet#.the other half is actually angst BUT THATS IRRELEVANT. ok normal tags now#doodles#ghost roxas au#roxas#sora#kingdom hearts#hmm i dont think this one translated as well as it couldve. its meant to be a sort of slow build to outright anger#bc its like. soras confusion + frustration finally building to the point hes yelling#but it feels sort of sudden here so idk. could also be that theres no context to this#roxas' reaction too reads a bit differently than i wrote it as (more angry than like. ptsd response for lack of a better descriptor)#WHATEVER WHATEVER DONE RAMBLING IN THE TAGS I HOPE YOU LIKE THE ART
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
kept trying to write something coherent but instead i just wrote a bunch of vaguely religious gibberish about my own interpretation of the watchers and their whole deal. does anyone want to read it
#one note and i release the insane rambling#i actually like it a lot. if only i could write stuff that actually makes sense instead sigh#honestly i took a few motrin since i had a headache a few hours ago so that May have had something to do with it. going to bed now#astro speaks#trafficblr
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
The weekend isn't enough I've literally been passing out on the bus.
#ive had a teacher encourage us to protest cause my school is so big. Like a very small town level of big.#may it be that I dont eat or sleep or drink water or water based things?#Maybe but like.#School is draining my energy to be a person.#Failure after failure ans I cant fix it.#Ugh#I need years of sleep#or just time to myself#Every minute of my day is overtaken with assignments and worrying#I already have enough to deal with.#I cant keep doing this and yet limitations do not bind me.#Sigj#I know I keep sayinf “Ill reach my limit and snap one day” but im a liar#Sadly Im infinately adaptable to any situation no matter the gravity.#I just keep living like the specter I am.#Odd how living feels most like death. I imagine death is quite beautiful.#In another life I would be a poet. To bad my understanding of whatever composition is is nonecistany#Would be fun to dabble in poetry. How many things are you allowed to do?#Cause I write and draw and I want to learn music so I think learning poetry would be excessive.#And I dislike the formats#Haiku are to short.#Sonnets are actual hell on my brain I nearly killed someone trying to write one#Sigh.#If only random musings could get mw somewhere.#i feel so joyless#manic's joyless rants#Please dont tell me how being positive would help me I will straight up kill you#Positive thinking evades me and always has faking a smile and acting happy is not a thing I have energy for.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
sorry I haven't posted anything on ao3 in like six months. however! I just spat out 8.5k words of oc lore in like an hour and a half. so I have that going for me
#if only I could write about blorbos that actually exist to everyone else#sigh. I guess that's too much to ask#iykyk#seven deadly sins#nanatsu no taizai#nnt#sds#ao3#original character#mmmutuals
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
now realizing that i haven't seen an edgepuff fic any longer than a oneshot since fucking. 2022. and not even a oneshot since 2023. god.
#I CAN'T KEEP MAKING MY OWN FOOD WHEN I ONLY GET MOTIVATION TWICE A YEAR AND BURNT OUT FOR THE REST. SOMEBODY ELSE DO IT PLEASEEEEEEEEEE#coffee shop mafia au fic that i stopped commenting on bc of burnout pls come back................i miss u so bad...........................#sigh. it doesn't help that with selfcest fics ao3 search is borderline unusable i'm not gonna lie#click on any tag that even remotely specifies what ship it is and get sent to the papyrus/papyrus tag. its all spicyhoney now fuck you#then even if u grab the search function by the neck and force it to specify the actual ship nobody tags their shit consistently 😭😭#sometimes it's the actual word edgepuff by itself. sometimes it's edgepuff - relationship. sometimes it's Ut Papyrus/Uf Papyrus - Freeform#sometimes it's undertale papyrus/underfell papyrus. sometimes it's papyrus/underfell papyrus#all of these tags need to be manually typed out in the additional tags filter and you can only search one at a time#but no matter which tag it is the most recent fic is a 1 chapter smutfic from 2023 by someone who primarily writes fontcest#sometimes i hate my ability to happily sustain myself without needing anything new. things would be so simple if i could just Move On#alas if i had the ability to lose interest in things due to lack of content i would have left the undertale fandom by like 2018#and well. happy new year#i kinda failed at my resolution to get more cringe on the normal blog last year tbh. maybe i should go even harder now to make up for it#i gotta talk about the intricacies of edge wanting to get dicked down by russ in the middle of snowdin forest on main. for my health#a full essay about russ's biting kink and why it makes their ship a whole different level of complex and compelling 2 me....i can dream
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
you guys don't even know about the matsuo & kuwabara fic (it doesn't exist (yet))
#LISTEN LISTEN#ive been dying to write about matsuo#like yeah it's kuwameshi ofc#but the important part is im GOING to write a fic that forces anime onlys to know#my goat matsuo get him the screentime he deserves okay#that aside. i think they'd be friends! i think they'd get along swell alr#i haven't even worked on this since i told nico about it but i HAVE thought about it which is basically working on it ok#(cope)#anywayyyy while kuwabara is taking a break for the summer he's like shit i always liked boxing#and this guy needs help managing kids it could be fun#yusuke thinks he's lame for working when he doesn't have to but kuwa doesn't gaf#anyway immediately matsuo fw him bc duh it's kuwabara#like to think as matsuo grew and changed and matured he isn't so easily intimidated#knows his strength and his worth so to speak. so maybe he doesn't immediately think kuwabara is gonna be trouble#like most people tend to based on how he looks. tho he doesn't have a pomp anymore so that might be part of it#shared love of boxing and Kuwabara being unexpectedly good with the kids and#insisting he's never boxed but CLEARLY being a fighter#matsuo is curious about the guy#anyway once he realizes kuwabara is a fuckin powerhouse he's like i GOTTA face him in the ring#so he trains him <3 great bonding tbh tho yusuke's pissy cos it's taking up kuwabara's time#plus the little childish notion that i used to be the one beating his ass everyday 😔#anywayyyyyyy just thoughts not a real fic but it WILL BE OKAY TRUST#sigh someone put me in a saw trap so I update a fic ppl actually care abt#kuwameshi#yu yu hakusho
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fighting with the overwhelming urge to rewatch all 6 episodes of The Sign tonight since I’m going to be up, I could watch other things that I never managed to finish or even start, but no, here I am, wanting to watch The Sign whilst waiting for the week - that just started - to end already so I can watch the new episode lol. See this is why I wait until stuff airs fully and then just binge it, I’m impatient af.
#I might help if I could actually write something#I’m feeling very trapped by my inability to take part of my usual hobbies#for some reason The Sigh and Last Twilight are the only things that have managed to fully catch my attention lately#so I’m thinking I ought to lean into it#why not obsess? where’s the harm? lol!#the sign the series
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
“decidedesteth” what the fuck is his problem seriously
#anyways huh i forgot that a sped up version of his theme played in the second puzzle room#also MAN i wish i knew music stuff because the only way i can describe it is just The Vibes#but i think it’s interesting that him and swatch both have hip shop as a theme when it fits swatch much better like. with vibes#i could write a whole thing with that actually i think comparing them is fun BUT#i feel like there’s a solid chance that hip shop is just. final area shopkeeper theme. yknow#and then i’d feel silly having written all that out#sigh#txt
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Trying to decide whether or not to keep Cotilona as is or get a new imp with xyx berry
the xyx berry Cotilona will be under the cut
And I just checked and there are no xyx berry impsCMON. Post cancelled I guess, I do NOT want to do an imp breeding project.
Well I'll just use this as an excuse for lore dumping because Arcanist forbid I actually write my dragons' bios,,
===
»content warning for unsettling and gorey talk under cut«
Cotilona is a necromancer and necromancy comes at a price: the user's own self. Not only does it take from your body, but it also takes from your soul and mind.
The more times you use necromancy, the more and more you lose yourself and become nothing more than a husk.
Along with this process comes the results of the revived/rebirths. Over time, the beings begin to come back less complete, begin to come back wrong.
It starts out small— some missing patches of scales/fur/feathers, small patches of missing skin, or minor alterations to the mind— to bigger things such as missing or additional limbs/muscles/organs/bones, organs and limbs grown in the wrong locations, complete loss of mind, etc etc.
———
Reviving and rebirthing are two different things.
Reviving takes a fully/mostly intact body, typically in the first or second stages of decomposition (or third if its very early in the stage), and a small amount of excess organic matter such as meat. This process takes a very small part of the users body, mind, and soul.
Rebirthing is more difficult. A being must be rebirthed past the third stage of decomposition or if there is no skeleton at all. It requires a large amount of excess organic matter— meat, bone, organs, scales/feathers/fur— and some form of organic matter from the being itself (larger portions are better if possible). This takes a lot from the necromancer's self.
Now, I've stated that organic matter is required for reviving and rebirthing, but don't worry as other dragon matter is not required.
The organic matter must be very fresh in order to work, so the necromancer or another dragon has to go out and hunt right before the ritual.
Which kind of meat you need to gather depends on what animal group the being is in; mammalian, reptilian, avian, amphibian.
The exceptions to this are Aberrations and Aethers. Aberrations are impossible to revive or rebirth due to the mutating caused by the Wyrmwound. You'd have better luck begging Plaguebringer.
Aether reviving/rebirthing is very difficult due to the multiple generations of adaptive evolution they went through to adjust to life in space. The best way to go about reviving/rebirthing is to use direct organic matter from another Aether.
Finding a necromancer that is willing to use another dragon as a source for organic matter would be extremely difficult for obvious reasons. It's seen as incredibly immoral.
#i loosely follow the site lore so do NOT expect this to be biblically accurate#big sigh And with the new gore rules I won't be able to get a better skin/accent for him#now if only i could write his actual bio. I'll have to figure out what exactly is too much for the site rules too#i know I'll have to keep the part about the effects on the necromancer out since it falls under dragon suffering#gore tw#body horror tw#tell me if i need to trigger tag anything else#flight rising#fr dragon share#xen.speaks.fr
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
the worst feeling is when you're too sad that you could almost feel yourself throwing up to ease the heaviness in ur consciousness but then throwing up is exhausting as hell. so u just, like, throw up words instead by writing. but. butttt. u r too tired to think. too sad to come up with words to vomit.
#idk i hope yall dont realize this yet#OR if u do i hope u do not mind#but i seem to just blabber nonsense in this blog instead of *actually* writing#i could only write 2-3 paragraphs in my wips per day bc i just..#can't..#sIGHS#rie blabbers
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
hmm. i hate to say it but i do think my art was more creative when i was smoking weed.
#augh its such a stereotype!!!#but i look through my old sketchbooks from that time and i was just doing a lot more interesting stuff#like objectively now my art is more skilled technically for the most part but i was more experimental back then idk#sigh. if only it didnt put me into psychosis that one time.#idk i should give myself grace though bc im also more in a writing than drawing phase rn#me that smoked weed could Never have written as much as i have this year.#i actually thought i outgrew fanfiction for a bit there#and then that weird megamind phase sucked me right back in ...#mine#this is just a ramble lol
1 note
·
View note
Text
To be completely honest…
… I don't actually like Murdoc that much as a character, or his related plots. Invincible villains get tiring to me rather quickly if there's no exceptions/developments, and he didn't appear enough to make him feel like a threat to the whole team/those close to them. Sparse appearances meant he had to spend the whole time focused only on Mac (and Cage, bc apparently they couldn't think of any other way to write the poor woman out), and I think he's given too much credit. Also he's rude to Jack in a way I Don't Care For.
But damn do I like the 'sometimes the best way to watch your back is to have it somewhere else' conversation in his introductory ep. I don't agree that Murdoc should be treated as better than Jack (esp bc what's he done by that point but have more ammo?), but I do buy him being good enough to worry Jack (after all, we need some real threats here). And the fact is, Lucas and George play that scene so well. Those two had excellent chemistry and played off each other very well, and this is a good scene for it.
It's more than Mac listening to Jack when he argued w/ Thornton. It's that Mac shuts up and listens to Jack right from the 'now listen.' Bc the energy is different and he can tell. I could go on a whole analysis about why I think Jack acts the way he does, but he's definitely smarter and more competent than some of the canon or even the fanbase give him credit for. I think he acts goofy to distract and diffuse, and to cope w/ some of the stuff I'm ninety percent sure he's had to do (they could look me in the eyes and tell me Jack has never had to do Black/Wet Ops and I would say they were lying). It's not the first time he's dropped the jokes or expressed fear, though, but it's different. Jack's frightened to the point of sounding angry, of putting his foot down—and, in turn? That scares Mac. The way he leans back and looks vaguely stunned as Jack talks, the fact that he can barely remember to nod when Jack finishes. The fact that he's speechless. Mac's never seen this side of Jack before (my guess is bc any other time it's come out has been bc Mac himself was seriously injured or missing). I think, on some level, Mac's used to viewing Jack as kind of infallible. He's not naive, of course, we've had stuff like Cairo, but we're talking about two bullets four guys here. I don't think Mac's ever seen Jack be openly, truly scared (especially bc Mac's probably the person Jack would most want to hide his fear from).
And it's that realisation that, essentially, frightens Mac into complying.
#MacGyver (2016)#I loved these two so much#Jack's such a Dad#literally Jack is more of a father to that boy than James ever was#this is a James MacGyver hate blog#but I love that conversation bc you can just see how frightened Mac is by Jack being frightened#bc Jack's not supposed to be this scared Jack is supposed to tell a bad joke and say it'll be okay#but no Jack is SCARED#so Mac backs down#this is also a Thornton defence blog bc listen I genuinely think she cared about those two#I refuse to believe she'd actually try to kill Mac#I mean obvi that's bc this show doesn't have the tightest writing#and that plot point was added retroactively bc we can't write characters off respectfully on this show#anyway yeah to me Murdoc got obnoxious after a while#esp I think bc I saw some of the fanbase repeating the bs he threw at Jack#about how he was 'stupid' etc and it just ground my gears#also how like ineffective he was at being a 'threat to our loved ones'#he attacks either Mac or Cage through the whole plot and only went after her a second time so the actress could leave#where's my Jack giving him the beatdown for hurting Mac???#why doesn't anyone just shoot this guy at this point?????#sigh#Jack deserved so much better I'm sad they sidelined George so much he wanted out#tv shows are a toxic industry from what I've heard but it's always disappointing#Bring Your Son to Work to the Extreme with Spies
0 notes
Text
This may be the depression speaking + the earliest trauma I've ever gone thru (completely accidental as well), but I think it's kinda pointless to give me gifts. I have clothes that still fit me and are in excellent condition. I have shoes. I have a sizeable movie collection (that tbf I can always add to), and all the books I'd want. I don't paint anymore so it's useless giving me art supplies. And unfortunately even giving me money is hilariously pointless bcus I'm not even gonna spend it on anything, I'm just gonna put it into my savings account and keep living day by day as I do: doing nothing...interesting
#post#how am I this lifeless at fucking 25 dude. holy shit#vent#personal#my hobbies are watching movies. then writing fic. this if I can even squeeze it in between my classes#(sighs) I'd told my mom at the beginning of the semester that I won't be able to go out anymore#she didn't believe me#she's always desperate to get me to go outside to some event or the other n I'd rather just not go bcus well! I don't have any friends#either so it's like. it's just the 2 of us#I like hanging out w her but man walking around n seeing everything doesn't take as long as you'd think#man this is so sad. and pathetic. I should just straight up die#that's another thing today we went to costco n I went to see if this math book I saw like a week or 2 ago was still there n it's not#I wasn't able to find it online either n it sent me into such a pit of despair that like. wow this sucks#I want so many things!!! and I don't ask for any of them bcus; going to my first point!!!; what'd be the fucking point!!!#the hilarious accidental trauma was that I was 2 and wanted a horse book n threw a tantrum about it#n then my mom took me home n sternly yet calmly explained how she couldn't get it for me n would be able to get it at another time#the thing is is that no one around me wants to acknowledge that I'm autistic so this event resulted in me taking it dead serious literally#and my 2 yr old brain understood it to mean 'never ask for anything ever anymore'#I've never thrown a tantrum since but I HAVE swallowed up and repressed every single desire I've had for material things#hmmm is that why I tend to choose experiences sometimes. like trips n stuff. bcus it's not an actual physical thing#was just thinking earlier how my future therapist might find me annoying in that half the work is done in that I keep learning things about#myself a little Too Well#the only therapist I've had up until now was a lady at my uni campus who could only see me for 2 months until she moved to another uni#n she told me. 'your problem is that you're too logical. you're too aware of yourself. you need to allow yourself to feel something'#like!!! don't I know that all too well!!!#hmm is that ALSO perhaps why I'm having more visible meltdowns?#then again I hate crying in front of my parents. it feels like I'm just. man we always joke about me being a spoiled brat bcus I'm an only#child but maaaaaaaaan. it always feels like I never appreciate things n that they Know this n I'm constantly never living up to my#high potential. bcus I'm so spoilt n everything n beneath me somehow#idk man. one day I'll just tell my therapist to follow me on tumblr n analyze me via my tags
1 note
·
View note
Text
seperation anxiety! a (clan head) gojo satoru fic
pairing ⸺ clan head!gojo x wife!reader
summary ⸺ satoru begs you to attend a meeting with the higher-ups, but not for the reasons you thought. inspired by this art by @/baobei-bu!
warnings ⸺ SMUT, gojo is a warning by himself, VERY public sex, reader has a vagina, fem reader implied, no penetration, fingering, fondling, making out, panty-ripping, exhibitionism, kinda cucking but the only ppl humiliated and humbled are the higher ups, porn no plot, but plot if you squint, reader is a strong independent woman (until gojo charms her, bc who wouldn't turn into a cockslut for gojo?), this took me at least five hours to write for no good reason?, not edited (like always....)
a/n pls enjoy and thank u to the queen for making such delicious art (p.s. go to their twitter for nsfw ver i squirted)
general masterlist
“Pleaseeeee,” Satoru has his face buried in your chest, nuzzling in further while complaining. It’s almost comical how he—head of the biggest clan in Jujutsu—is leaning down to match your height. You, meanwhile, stand firm, arms crossed, regarding him with a mix of exasperation and reluctant affection as he leans down to meet your gaze. “Will you come with me?”
The question comes as the dreaded meeting with the higher-ups looms, a gathering he's been dodging all day. It technically began ten minutes ago, and you barely managed to wrangle him into his formal kimono just twenty minutes earlier. You sigh, fingers brushing his hair. “Satoru, you know what they think of me. I'm not exactly their favorite person.” You’re both standing in the middle of your shared bedroom, you imploring him to be on time for his meeting to avoid getting even further shit from the higher-ups.
Mind you, you’re the more rational one between you and Satoru—in fact, most of the people who know you would agree that you’re a very mature, wise person in general (with the exception of some circumstances, of course). And despite the respect your skill commands, the higher-ups have never warmed to you, not since you refused to play a pawn in their games. Marrying Satoru, the one jujutsu sorcerer they could never control, only amplified their discontent. They see you both as threats—powerful sorcerers bonded in defiance.
At the mention of "higher-ups," Satoru's pout deepens, and his pleading voice grows more insistent. “Pleeeease,” he drags out, practically whining. “I have separation anxiety.”
You feel a pang of sympathy. These meetings are miserable for him—hours trapped in a room with men twice his age, trying to dictate his every move. “I don’t know, Satoru…” you murmur, hesitating.
But Satoru takes advantage of your softening resolve, hugging you tighter, his face pressing into you again. “Don’t make me go in there alone!” he says, his voice muffled. “You have no idea how much you silence them. One word from you, and they all think twice. I’m already one step away from wanting to kill them all.”
A sigh escapes you as you realize he’s not letting up. And while you’re reluctant, you know that your presence, your opinion—one of the few he truly values—might actually give him a sense of calm in that harsh room. “Alright, alright,” you concede finally, hand smoothing the fabric of his sleeve. "But no making a scene."
His answering smirk is smug, giving you a fat, sloppy kiss on your cheek that you’re not afraid to show your partial-disgust about. You all but have to wrestle him off of you white he’s smothering you in kisses, getting out something about how much loves you, oh so thankful to have such a wise wifey like you as you get ready in a kimono similar to his and head to the limo waiting outside of the manor you and Gojo reside in.
As soon as you get in, Gojo turns sharply to Ijichi, who’s shifting the gear. “Put the divider up.”
“O-Okay, Gojo-san.” A little intimidated by the commanding tone in your husband’s voice, he quickly presses the button to activate the screen, and Gojo pounces on you, grabbing you and hoisting you up by your sides to put you on his lap.
“Satoru!” you exclaim, surprised as he captures his lips with yours. His hands roam your body as he moans, almost obnoxiously, because he knows you’re always paranoid whenever he initiates anything in public. Your crotch aligns with his thigh, big and stuffed with muscle as he drives your hips to grind on him, and despite yourself and your circumstances, you find yourself leaning into his touch.
“My pretty wife,” he purrs, now trailing kisses down your jaw and into your neck. “So pretty, so supportive.”
Despite his dizzying movements, you try to get a hold of yourself. “Satoru, we shouldn’t be doing this here. We need to discuss what to sa—”
“Fuck that,” he sighs, so breathless that you want to cave in.
“No, but—”
His eyes darken, and his hands start creeping up your legs, going slowly and slowly closer to your pussy. “Baby, you know I value what you have to say,” and his fingers graze your folds, making you leak even more with his teasing, “but I wanna listen to something else.”
He drags his index finger up and down your slit, making you whimper. His fingers then prod into your hole, putting pressure there but not quite delving in. “Satoru,” you whine out, clutching his upper arms as he has his way while toying with you.
“Yea, that’s what I wanna hear,” he groans, giving you a kiss. It is then that he rewards you with inserting his digit in, curling to hit your spot as he fingers you. HIs other arm is around you, holding your panties’ crotch to the side to allow him to touch you. “My good girl.”
As he’s touching you, the squelching sounds fills the enclosure you’re in and you’re desperately praying to God Ijichi can’t hear the lewd things the both of you are doing in the back. You’re just reduced to whimpering, unable to reject Satoru’s dizzying touches, his free hand leaving your panties to grope at your inner thighs, ass, and breasts. It’s like he’s devouring you with his kisses, urgent, as he continues curling his fingers.
Between kisses, you try to get out a “Satoru—mmph,” smooch, “we shouldn’t be—mm” smooch, “shouldn’t be doing this here!”
“What,” he drawls, and with the glint in his eyes you know the fucker’s trying to toy with you, knows what he’s doing is mischievous. “I can’t touch my wife?”
Before you could utter a response, however, the limo suddenly slows, and the sensation of using the brakes to stop the car makes you sober up. “We’re here, Satoru we need to go—-” As you’re trying to rip yourself off his lap, he pulls out the finger that was inside you and uses his hand instead to entangle it with the crotch of your panties, pulling and pulling until the cloth is nothing but shreds, falling off your body.
Oh my god, you were not paid enough for this shit.
With his oh-so-irritating eyes—the same ones that you spent despising in your early school years—he looks at you through his pretty white lashes as he makes a show of sniffing the now tattered shreds that were your panties and putting them in his pocket. Under your kimono, you can feel your slick escaping your panties as the cool air wafts through it, landing on your pussy. You look at him in disbelief. “I can’t believe you just did that.”
He giggles, giving you a kiss on the cheek while helping you off his lap, putting a hand on your head to make sure you didn’t bump your head against the car’s ceiling. “Let’s go and deal with those hags, my love.”
To be honest, you don’t really understand why Satoru is so handsy today. He’s on some sort of man-ovulation, you think, as you stride into the room. Even ripping off your panties was a bit excessive, if not out of pocket (no pun intended). Breaking out of your thoughts, you grounded yourself in the present, noticing hostile eyes turned towards your husband, and then you. You match their barely-subtle glares with a stink eye of your own, holding your chin up as you walk past them dismissively. Just as you’re about to take a seat next to Gojo—being mindful of your kimono so you don’t flash any of these old bastards—one of them speaks up.
“Gojo-sama, why is this woman here?”
You continue to take your seat, noticing Satoru’s jaw clenched. But right as he’s about to say something, you cut in for him. “This woman,” and you smile, deceptively sweet, “is the lady of the clan. It would do you well to remember the hierarchy of the Gojo clan.” You don’t need to turn to look at your husband to know he has a proud smile on his face, making no effort to hide his smugness. What shocks you instead is that he swings an arm around you, effectively dragging you closer to him until you’re basically sitting on his lap, and his hands go to roam your sides.
Now, some old grandpa starts talking, commencing the meeting, on their usual bullshit of the need for extermination of Sukuna’s vessel, but Satoru pays them no mind. Instead, what they receive in response is non-committal hums as his hands drag themselves up your stomach and down where your legs are crossed to the hem of your kimono, and then under.
Any semblance of paying attention to the meeting and responding to their infuriating beliefs leaves your mind as you blank out, panicking that Satoru is trying to commit public indecency with you. As an argument erupts between the higher ups about something, you turn to Gojo to furiously whisper, “What is wrong with you today?! Cut it out.”
In your life, you’ve fought many curses, first grade and even special grade included as you climbed up the ranks of Jujutsu sorcery despite having a non-sorcerer upbringing. What you will never be able to defeat, however, is your husband’s charm. Satoru knows what he’s doing as he lets out a deep moan in your ear, making you squeak and become even more flustered, as he continues to make lewd noises, puffs of his breath fanning across your neck.
a/n gojo the type to start moaning randomly to make you fold #sorrynotsorry
The indecency of all of it—-Gojo basically whimpering in your ear sweet nothings like good girl, that’s my wife, gonna let me finger you in front of all these ugly hags, right?—-being loud in your ear but also just quiet enough that you’d only hear made you so wet, heat throbbing between your thighs as Satoru’s hands start rubbing your fold. It’s a teasing touch, one not enough to satisfy you but to stimulate you nonetheless.
It’s just when his index finger starts slowly circling around your clit that you buck your hips slightly, making him look at you teasingly, peering down at you from above your shoulder. “Oh you liked that, didn’t you?”
“I hate you,” you puff out, trying to fight the heat creeping up your neck as Satoru’s circles on your clit get more tangibly, simulating you oh so deliciously. To make sure you hold yourself up, you set your elbows down on the table, Satoru’s arms engulfing you as you’re forced to take whatever touches he’s giving you under the table.
“She’s so loud,” he whispers, pointing out the noises your pussy was making as his digits roved over your folds. The squelches were tangibly there, audible to anyone who would strain their ears. You could tell your lack of response to the meeting was catching attention, because there were several eyes towards you, waiting for something; it was then you realized that they had posed a question but were simply too fucked out to respond.
A voice comes out to reprimand your husband sharply. “Gojo-sama, this is hardly appropriate.”
Satoru chuckles, not stopping his ministrations as he picks up a cup filled with water, his smug gaze still turned towards you while observing and appreciating your every hiccup and reaction. “Can’t my spouse attend this meeting? I value her opinion above everyone else’s in this room, after all,” he drawls, lodging his chin in the curve of your neck. “Besides,” and he flashes a dangerous grin to the man who spoke out, “weren’t you the ones who were oh so worried about me not having an heir?”
At this point, you’ve filtered out all noises, focusing and honing in on the sensation of your orgasm coming. His digits are playful, curling up to hit your g-spot repeatedly, his palm tickling your clit. Each time he hits your spongy spot a bout of electricity runs up your body, pulling you closer and closer to your orgasm.
“But guess what,” and he gives you a kiss on the cheek, despite the aversion the rest of the higher ups have to any displays of affection, “we can solve that problem right here, right now.” He punctuates it with a harsh sink of his fingers into your plush cunt, and, with that, you finally cream his fingers, a result of Satoru teasing you all day now. You try to temper the shakes wracking your body by slamming your fist against the table, trying not to moan out.
It seems that no one’s seen you riding out your orgasm out so visible, because there are gasps around the room at how obscene Gojo’s suggestion was. “It is shameful of you to be saying such things, Gojo-sama!” one of them sputters out, red with anger and outrage.
Your husband not so subtly rolls his eyes. “Then don’t bring it up all the time, old man.” Satoru knows how touchy and vulnerable you are right after you cum, so he’s running his hands softly up and down your thighs to quell your quivers affectionately. “Actually, what about this? You all haven’t witnessed us consummate our marriage, correct?” He smirks. “What about witnessing the heir-making next time?”
general masterlist
a/n pls see the vision like i want gojo to claim me and rail me into next tuesday while the higher ups just watch uncomfortably like maybe i am a freak like that. like gojo would be so obsessed with how he's claiming you in front of the fuckers that piss him off so much...might do a part two if pookiesa like this :P
comment and reblog to let me know ur thots :3
#divider by cafekitsune#aashi writes#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru
18K notes
·
View notes