#if only because I bet it would take a while for the ghosts to convince her they're actually there

[victorluvsalice]

Recently saw the 2023 Haunted Mansion movie (pretty good, some minor issues but definitely nowhere near as bad as some feared) and now my brain won't stop considering something involving Victor and Alice and/or Smiler being in the Haunted Mansion.

Current ideas include: Incorporating it into Broken Sky, vacation story where they tour the Mansion and get trapped for a couple nights, Corpse Bride redo where Victor instead gets dragged to the Mansion instead of Downstairs by Emily and meeting other ghosts including Alice, Bumby, and Smiler, Alice finds out she's inherited the Mansion which sits near Burtonsville and tries to tame the spirits with outcast, "i see dead people" Victor and helpful haunt Smiler...

Are these ideas good? Idk. Would I write them? Maybe, though probably not right now. Are they interesting nonetheless? I hope so!

Oh no, you've turned into me. XD I don't know anything about the Haunted Mansion movie (I've never been to a Disney theme park, and thus have never been on the ride, and thus have no nostalgia prompting me to see it -- glad you enjoyed it, though!), but I DO know about watching something and suddenly having my brain Valice/Valicer it up. As you probably well know, reading my tumblr as you do. XD

*snork* I do like the idea of poor Victor and Alice of Broken Sky thinking they're going to have a nice day out at a Mansion, only to discover a) haunted as fuck and b) can't get out. (Alice is like "you know, we REALLY should have guessed this wasn't going to go well.") The "Corpse Bride but Haunted Mansion instead of Land of the Dead" idea is interesting too -- especially since one of the few things I DO know about the Haunted Mansion is at one point they had their own ghost bride named Emily, so it DOES rather fit! I wonder how Alice, Bumby, and Smiler died in that world. . . (Probably Alice and Bumby died killing each other?) I think my favorite of the trio so far though is "Alice inheriting the Mansion" -- like, it's after A:MR, she's now out a place to live since she killed her employer who was offering her room and board, when lo and behold she gets a letter saying she owns a house. . .only the house is haunted as fuck and now she finds herself having to figure out how to deal with the ghosts. Fortunate for her Victor lives nearby and has some experience with this kind of thing. . .and that one of the ghosts is such a shockingly friendly sort, even if she does wonder sometimes about the glowing yellow eyes. . . They are interesting ideas indeed, and I'm glad you shared! :D

[evilminji]

*Gasp of joy* Brain, you shouldn't have!

You know how the Wayne's have basicly been the ONLY Good And Uncorrupt Wealthy Family in Gotham? And probably fuckin curse resistant AF because otherwise, HOW!? (No, seriously, the local magical population is baffled but impressed!)

....you....you wanna bet at least a few of those suckers died thinking "but I haven't completed my orphan hospital for sickly waifish puppy's and sad eyed children, yet! I... must... save... THE CHILDREN! *le dies (×.× ) * " to the tune of their beautiful (and somehow bizarrely benevolent and well adjusted) families weeping at their bedsides.

Whoop! There's a ghost! Hello, Mr. Wayne.

(Why does this Keep Happening? Please have LESS unfinished bussiness. You're supposed to be rich. Stop trying to help people ON YOUR DEATH BEDS! FFS.)

I say all this? Beeeecause~?

( >.>)(<.< )

Allright! Time to come clean, folks! Which side of the family lead to our descendant dressing up in a Kevlar BAT SUIT!!? Throwing himself off buildings in the middle of the night. Cavorting around with Amazons!

We aren't even mad about the last one! We're actually deeply and respectfully impressed! But who pulled THAT off? Angela? That yours? (*shrug* I mean... probably? It DOES seem like something my daughter would do...)

So like?

Imagine Danny~.

Trying to eat his generic brand cereal. IN HIS Underwear. When? All these Fancy Ghosts show up to his A College Kid's, Baby's First, Crap Apartment(TM). He's eating on a pillow on the floor for God's sake. It's too early for this! C'mon guys...

But, no.

They want permission to go Haunt their Descendant.

Danny sighs. He can already FEEL his cereal going soggy. This is gonna take a while, ain't it? Okay... okay, WHO is you offspring, what did they do, and for how long? You know the rules, guys.

Then they hit him with the oh so casual "BTW he's Fuckin Batman".

YOU WANT TO WHAT!?

(They convince him. How? He couldn't tell you. It's... is? Is this what It's like meeting a Fenton? For other people? Huh. He always thought people were exaggerating...)

Which? Is how a dead Victorian Old Man has arrived to ABSOLUTELY tear this Trouble Making Youngster a new one, in front of his little friends! Just full on full names him. Oh, OH! The broken BONES! The BRUISES! Have you no regard for your poor ancestors health! Their fragile hearts! Trying to put us in the grave AGAIN, are you?! Why in MY DAY-!!!

(Nightwing? Recording this for Alfred. It's gonna be an early birthday present~)

@hypewinter @hdgnj @the-witchhunter @ailithnight @mutable-manifestation @nerdpoe

[cod-dump]

König publicly swore to his team if he ever met the Ghost in person he would wrestle him on site. When Ghost heard the rumor he loudly bragged that he could win in 5 minutes.

The 2 teams meet for a shared mission and these legends lock eyes for the first time in front of both teams. And immediately start acting like rival bull moose. Literally crashing heads like rams trying to pin each other to the ground. No finesse no words no posturing just grunting and wrestling like they gotta prove something. Idiot college fuckboi jock style.

All the on lookers are just 😐. Horangi is confused but not, gaz is struggling to comprehend, soap is stoked, and price is filing for retirement as it all goes down.

Turns out the 2 legends are pretty evenly matched and they are beyond pissed about it. An hour in and they are no closer to a victor. The teams now have a betting pool going and price has called Kate to convince her to accept his resignation right now please, I can't do this anymore.

-sorry this is long. It got away from me a little

Everyone thought it was a joke, that the rumor circulating about KorTac’s colonel wanting to wrestle 141’s Ghost upon first meeting, it couldn’t possibly be real. But it was, to Ghost at least. He wanted it to be real, he wanted the infamous Konig wanting to challenge him to a test of strength. It was a ego boost, it made him even more annoying.

“It’s not real, LT. Why would the colonel want to fight you?��

“Wrestle, Garrick! He sees me as a challenge!”

“Hmm, right…”

Soap wasn’t helping the situation, he was also convinced the rumor was true… or he wanted Ghost to go pick a fight with Konig, Gaz wasn’t sure which one it was, honestly. Price was only partially bothered by it, maybe because he believed it was just Ghost fucking around and that he actually wouldn’t go head to head with the colonel.

If only that was the case.

The chance of running into KorTac’s colonel while on the field was extremely low, but it still happened. Both teams froze in shock at the appearance of the other, and Konig immediately looked at Ghost before shoving his gun into the arms of the closest operator. The excitement that took Ghost as he all but threw his gun at Gaz before charging Konig.

“This isn’t fucking happening.”

It was. Ghost was currently trying to overpower Konig who was trying to throw him to the ground. The KorTac men and women just blinked before a couple took their phone out and started recording. Gaz wasn’t sure how to feel, just watching Ghost all too eagerly take on a literal mountain of a killing machine like a kid on Christmas while Soap cheered him on loudly.

Oh, Price walked off, too. Lovely.

[iamgonnagetyouback]

Heyy! Happy late Halloween 🎃 I looooveee your writing !! Could you do headcanons for how marauders would react if the reader could do legilimacy? They're muggleborn so they didn't think it was that big a deal bc they thougjg all wizards could do it and casually mention it

headcanons for marauders reacting to reader knowing legitimacy

𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 tries to brush it off as if he’s totally unfazed, but internally, he's panicking.

➯His first instinct is denial—surely, you’re just perceptive, right? But as soon as you respond to something he hasn’t said out loud, he’s rattled.

➯He’ll keep "testing" you, thinking ridiculous things like "I bet you can’t hear this" on a loop, only to break into a fit of laughter when you answer with an exasperated eye-roll.

➯When he finally accepts that you can actually read his mind, he goes into full-blown soulmate mode, convinced this is destiny.

➯James decides he’s above needing to verbalize “I love you” and will start giving you overly dramatic, lovesick looks whenever he thinks it, just to see if you’ll respond.

James is deep in thought about a prank idea. You: “Exploding ink? You know McGonagall’s going to see right through that.” James: choking “H-how did you know that?” You: “Because you were thinking about it.” James: “No, seriously, who told you? Sirius?! Remus? Who's the traitor?” You: “None of them. Just your brain.” James stares at you with a mix of awe and panic. James: “Brilliant. Terrifying, but brilliant.”

𝐒𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 jumps out of his skin when you first respond to his thoughts, staring at you like you’ve just sprouted horns.

➯He immediately calls you a demon and insists you’re here to haunt him specifically, but secretly, he finds it oddly thrilling.

➯Within minutes, he’s running around thinking of the most absurd things he can just to throw you off, like mentally chanting "I am an irresistible god of charm" to see if you’ll break.

➯Over time, he gets used to it and will sometimes think cute things at you, but never admit it if you notice.

➯Deep down, though, he’s convinced your Legilimency is proof that you’re some kind of witchy soulmate sent from the beyond to torture him, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sirius is debating in his head whether he should wear his leather jacket to breakfast. You: “Leather jacket? Again?” Sirius: whipping around “What?! I didn’t say anything!” You: smirking “You didn’t have to.” Sirius: “I’m being haunted. This is it. You’re a witchy ghost sent to expose my every cool thought.” You: “What cool thoughts?” Sirius gasps dramatically. Sirius: “Betrayed by my own mind!”

𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐮𝐬, initially skeptical, quickly connects the dots when you casually respond to one of his unspoken worries.

➯His brain goes straight to over-analysis, and he spirals just a bit, convinced you’re both a prodigy and incredibly dangerous.

➯While he finds it fascinating, he's low-key embarrassed every time you catch his stray thoughts—he didn't mean for you to hear that, really!

➯He starts to watch his thoughts around you, editing his internal monologue as if he’s writing an essay for you to "read."

➯Every now and then, he’ll test the limits by thinking random trivia or book recommendations at you, silently thrilled every time you respond.

➯He’s careful but secretly loves that you can understand him on this completely new level.

Remus is mentally debating whether he should get more coffee or just stick with tea. You: “Coffee.” Remus: startles “I—pardon?” You: “Just get the coffee, Remus. You’re going to regret the tea halfway through.” Remus: nervously laughing “Are… are you reading my mind?” You: “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫, the most openly freaked out, will start squinting at you like you’re the strangest creature he’s ever seen.

➯For days, he’s looking over his shoulder, convinced you’re pulling pranks on him somehow.

➯Every time you respond to his thoughts, he jolts and gives you a suspicious look, half-afraid and half-impressed.

➯It only takes one incident of you responding to something he really didn’t want to say out loud for him to become almost paranoid.

➯After a while, though, he’ll start to use it to his advantage, asking for silent reassurance when he's worried or seeking encouragement without having to say it—though he’ll always look a bit jittery when you respond, as if he still can’t quite believe it.

Peter is internally freaking out about his Potions essay, wondering if he should ask you for help. You: “I’ll help you with Potions later, don’t worry.” Peter: jumps “How did you…?” You: “You looked like you needed it.” Peter: “But… I didn’t… I didn’t even look at you!” You: “You don’t have to.” Peter stares at you, eyes wide, before finally mumbling. Peter: “...are you like… always in there?” You: grinning “Only sometimes.”

[foone]

Alternative names for humanity along the lines of "Homo sapiens" (Wise man) and "Pan narrans" (Storytelling Chimpanzee) that I'm too lazy to look up/make up Latin for:

chef ape

throwing ape

walking ape

The idea being that we're apparently unique in the animal kingdom in that we cook our food, so we're the Chef Apes. We're also one of the best animals at throwing things: humans have more accuracy and strength when throwing stuff than other apes, by a long shot

And apparently our ability to walk slowly for ages was key to our early survival as persistence predators. We can't outrun a gazelle or mammoth or whatever, but we don't tire easily and so we can just keep following it until it runs out of stamina

Pan basipila: the baseball playing Bonobo

If only baseball had a cooking element, it would be the perfect Human Sport.

We need to devise a sport where you cook something, follow someone for a long time, and then throw it at them.

The most human thing is the surprise pie to the face

Also as much as I like Terry Pratchett's suggestion of "Pan narrans" I wouldn't be surprised if we turn out to not be the only animal that tells stories...

Elephants. I bet elephants do.

Like, there was that case where an injured elephant went to a ranger station for help. One it had never been to before, but other elephants had.

The theory being then that some other elephant had told this elephant "hey if you're hurt, go here, the humans will help"

That, combined with how they have burial rituals (some which might indicate there's an elephant religion!), and that we're working on figuring out how elephants communicate...

It wouldn't surprise me if we learn sometimes in the next decade or two that "oh yeah, elephants tell stories too. They've got FICTION."

So "Pan narrans" isn't what I'd want to bet on as our uniquely human thing.

But at the end of the day, maybe the whole idea of there being a uniquely human thing is, in itself, just another story we're telling.

So maybe it is a good fit after all.

But I especially like the idea that we're the Baseball Ape because I have this image in my head of a galactic council of aliens. Some angry alien who looks like Cthulhu had a baby with a spider has the floor, and they're ranting about "why do the Hu-mons deserve a seat?"

The Crogath are stronger, the Eldru are smarter, the Cybernetic Essense lives longer, the Dromans go farther and faster, the Moltriri have us beat in fiction and poetry, what is so special about these damn bipedal fleshbags that makes them unique in the universe?

And then WHAM. Right between the eyes. A handheld translator device, a bit bigger than a modern smartphone, beans the speaker out of nowhere.

And there's an (untranslated) yell in the chamber as the prime representative calls for order.

"WE CAN THROW, MOTHERFUCKER!"

(it takes a while to properly explain the insult. Crogathi (especially drones) don't really have mothers or sexual reproduction, so they don't really get why that would be an insult. It's finally translated as something like "bud-biter")

and it's true. even after the World Series becomes the Galactic Series, no non-human team ever manages to win.

The Eldrul Librarians almost make the cut in 2486 but accidentally piss off the ghost of Colonel Sanders and end up inheriting the Hanshin Tigers' curse.

alien textbooks describe The Colonel as some kind of human patron deity of baseball and cooked avian food, who should not be disrespected at all costs, or his vengeance from his place beyond the grave will be swift and punishing

(they're right)

"Look, we can't PROVE he was why Gemini Noctis went supernova unexpectedly, but given the protests that had happened right beforehand, and the incredible powers ascribed to the human spirits, do you really want to risk it?"

the funniest possible future: humanity gets a key place in galactic politics because we're never able to adequately convince the universe at large that our ghost stories are just that, stories, and they're terrified shitless that we'll unleash spectral torment on them

"humans? look man, living humans are a pushover. you can easily rip them in half, crack their planets with a quark bomb, their ships are little more than tin cans with a tachyon drive taped on the side. but it's not the living humans you have to worry about... it's the ghosts."

"humans are a bit like the Nontilek, with a two-stage lifespan, a grub and an adult. What you think of as "adult" humans is just their infant stage, and they only fully transform once they "die". Once fully hatched into Ghost form, their powers are almost limitless."

you want humans off a colony planet and bomb them from orbit? good luck, now you have a few million ascended humans who can pass through solid matter and can't be killed, and they will never rest until you and your descendants are gone or dead.

you don't believe me? look at this: One of their most popular stories is about them building an empire that spanned a large chunk of their little planet, then having it MURDER THEIR OWN GOD.

It only worked for a few revolutions, and he just came back, promising that one day all of them would join him in the next phase of their lifespan.

They still, to this day, thousands of orbits later, erect little statues of the means they used to execute their deity.

not even the Crogathi, who literally worship death itself, tell stories that frightening to their newly hatched grubs.

Humans are scary, man, stay away and just give them whatever they want.

the rest of the alien's education on the dangers of humans is just a selection of human movies. the sixth sense, poltergeist, ghostbusters, the shining, the devil's backbone, and, of course, field of dreams.

ghosts AND baseball? it's everything they're scared about humans all in one package!

the obvious twist you could do, of course, is simple:

the aliens are right.

humans are a two-phase species where the elder form has immense power but leaves communication and decision making to the younger form, which will be confused and angry if you acknowledge the presence of their elder-stage members among them.

this often leads to them cutting off contact or their elder-stage members causing immense damage through seeming "accidents" on the contacting vessel. This is believed to be some kind of religious prohibition that they are not able to explain.

so it's official contact protocol to pretend you cannot perceive the elder-stage humans among them, and to give them what they want to avoid possible retribution.

No means to combat elder-stage humans has yet been found, and the limits of their power is not known.

All alien captains are required to study the fate of the SS Ennolon, which contacted a lone human craft in the galactic year of 12,783. They had initiated contact and were getting along fine, until the human showed the Droman captain a picture of their "late father".

Captain Droless, accounting for the difficulty in telling humans apart, then pointed at the father sitting in a chair nearby and said "That is them, correct?".

The human looked at the chair, reacted in confusion, then anger, and asked the contacting crew to immediately leave.

It was another 400 cycles before contact could be reestablished between the Droman Federation and the Human Alliance.

the intergalactic guide describes humans as a powerful race of immortal energy beings who have the strange habit of sending their larvae out on missions around the galaxy, occasionally contacting other races, but refusing to acknowledge their elders, except in stories

they seem to frequently put their young in dangerous situations without lifting a hand to help, so this is suspected to be some sort of pilgrimage or coming-of-age ritual.

(From a twitter thread on October 1st, 2022)

[ghost-proofbaby]

twenty four hours (modern!eddie munson x fem!reader)

HOUR ONE

in which eddie munson and you absolutely hate each other's guts. what happens when your friends make a bet that you can't spend more than twenty four hours consecutively together?

→ tropes: enemies to lovers, forced proximity, slow burn

→ warnings: strong language, eventual smut, upside down does not exist, minors dni, excessive use of pet names (to annoy reader), excessive use of fuck (again, to annoy reader)

→ pairings: modern!college!eddie x college!fem!reader

→ wc: 3.1k+

masterlist.

spotify playlist.

◁ previous part, next part▷

1:00 ─ㅇ───────────────── 24:00

HOUR ONE - 4:00 PM

You had a lot of regrets. You were a college student – it was hardwired in your psyche to make an endless stream of stupid decisions you would come to rue. 

There was that time you signed up for an 8 AM math class during your freshman year. There was the time your boss walked in on you spitefully gossiping specifically about him and his lack of leadership skills (you had been fired the next week, no surprise). There was that time Steve Harrington convinced you to get matching tattoos with him while drunk last summer, and now you had to explain to each new person you met why you had a ghost giving a thumbs down with a speech bubble stating ‘BOO’ on your ankle. 

You had made plenty of dumb mistakes, enough to last you a lifetime. 

But this? This had to take the trophy home for your worst impulsive decision yet. 

“I’m not going in there,” you huff, crossing your arms as you lean miserably against the wall across from the open door of apartment 2C. An apartment you’d avoided ardently over the last year. To the point of even braving severe FOMO after turning down hanging out with your friends, solely because they’d be hanging out here. 

“C’mon,” Steve stands in the threshold, waiting impatiently for your tantrum to end. You had to hand it to him – he had a way of being beautifully tolerant of your misbehavior over the years. All your sour moods, all your childish antics, all your moody mornings. Steve was there for them all the last three years, “Five hundred dollars, remember? You just have to survive a day, and then you’ll be rich.” 

There it was – the only thing that could possibly motivate you to make such a catastrophic agreement with alcohol and drugs out of the equation. Money. 

It had taken nearly an hour for everyone to agree on the terms the night before when the bet was first born, but in the end, it seemed fair enough to all involved parties. The wager was five hundred dollars for you and five hundred dollars for Eddie if you two managed, partially funded by your friends pooling their money and partially funded by the Harrington Inheritance. The two of you would set base in Eddie’s apartment, considering you were living in the dorms, and you were instructed to send hourly proof to the group chat. A group chat, that ironically, Eddie was not a part of.

You’re not sure why. You never cared to ask. 

Regardless, five hundred dollars was a lot of money to a broke college student. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d managed to keep more than one hundred dollars in your account for more than a few hours. It was the kind of money that could pay for a few months’ worth of groceries, that would give you the freedom to properly go out rather than settle for another night in with movies your friend group had already seen ten times over. The kind of money you would probably flounder with once it was in your hand. 

“And if I don’t survive?” you sigh dramatically, leaning further into the wall, your bag you’d packed for your time growing heavier in your grasp, “What if, he, like, murders me, Steve?”

“He’s not going to murder you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“If he was going to, he already would have.” 

“I’ve never been around him long enough to give him a chance! What if that’s the only reason he agreed? What if this was his plan all along? He gets me alone for twenty four hours, I mysteriously disappear, and next thing you know, they find my body in the local canal-” 

“While I’m flattered you think so highly of me that I would be capable of planning something so extensively,” the devil himself appears behind Steve’s shoulder, looking to be just as irritated as you, “Harrington’s right. If I wanted you dead, you’d be dead by now.” 

“Right. Cause that’s reassuring,” you snap in Eddie’s direction. 

Steve takes a deep breath, no doubt mentally preparing himself for whatever bickering is about to ensue as he sidesteps so he’s not stuck in the middle of your line of fire. 

“Listen, are we doing this or not? Because if not, I’ve got shit to do,” Eddie glowers at you, tapping his foot impatiently. 

You hate him. You really, really hate him. In the most earnest sense of the word. He was impossible, he was cocky, he was obnoxious. And it never helped that he hated you just as much, always adding fuel to the fire. From the moment the two of you had met, it was instant friction. You said go, he said stop. You wanted pizza, he wanted Chinese. Every time a small, mundane decision had to be made as a group, he’d be sure to announce his opinion, always the opposite of yours. 

You’re convinced he solely exists to be the bane of your existence. It’s probably the best part of his day. 

“Five hundred dollars,” you mutter under your breath, finally lifting your bag and leaving your spot against the wall. It was now or never. If you didn’t get this over with now, you’d walk away and be army-crawling financially through life again. You needed the five hundred dollars more than you care to admit. 

It had to be worth it. It had to be. 

The moment you enter the apartment, you’re hit with the scent of him. Something musky, something of subtle spice. It’s all tobacco and pot, cheap cologne and boy. It’s easily overwhelming, and you almost turn around to make a cheap shot at Eddie regarding it before Steve shuts the front door and engages him into conversation. 

Maybe you’d get used to it within the first few hours. 

The rest of the apartment is decorated exactly how you’d expect from Eddie. There’s a certain messy quality to it all without being dirty. The couch looks worn, probably having not been brand new to begin with when Eddie found or bought it. There’s a coffee table covered in random papers, joined by two empty beer bottles and a couple of random dice. He has a TV, albeit small, and the entertainment center that it stands upon is littered by various nerdy collector’s items. 

“Welcome to my palace,” he calls out from behind you, no longer distracted by Steve, “Sorry if it’s not up to your standards.” 

“It’s fine,” you gruffly reply, turning back around to look at him, “Where, uh, can I put my things?” 

The wicked grin that slowly spreads over his face can only spell out bad news, “Wherever. You’ll be sleeping on the couch.” 

“Dude,” Steve sighs. 

“What? It’s a one bedroom apartment, and I’m not giving her my bed,” Eddie explains as he brushes past the two of you and heads for his kitchen. 

If it were anyone else, you’d insist that it’s fine. Practicality tells you that he shouldn’t have to give up his bed. It’s his apartment, his room, his bed – in short, his rules. But it’s Eddie, so the fact that he’s made this decision without you only stokes the burning coals of disdain. Plus, the couch looked like the farthest thing from comfortable. 

“Whatever,” you scoff. You weren’t going to let him know he was already creeping beneath your skin. You were playing the long game here; you were going to start off civil, keep track of just how many offenses he committed against you, and then strike back. “It’s just one night. I’ll live.” 

“Unless I murder you!” his voice calls out to you and Steve from the kitchen. 

“Unless he murders me,” you agree with a scowl. 

Steve puts a caring hand on your shoulder, forcing a frown that’s completely insincere before he says, “What do you want on your gravestone? Also, what’s your preference for flowers at your funeral?” He breaks into laughter as you smack him roughly on his shoulder, “Sorry! Sorry, geez. Just want to have all my ducks in the row. I’ll be sure to ask him the same thing.”

Part of you is absolutely convinced this can only end in bloodshed. You can’t recall a single time you and Eddie have lasted more than ten minutes in a room together without escalating into a full blown screaming match. There was even a time you’d thrown a glass at him at one of Steve’s parties, narrowly missing his head as he’d ducked and let the glass shatter against the wall of the shared apartment with Robin.  You’d felt awful remorse towards Steve in the end. As for Eddie? You’d only wished your aim had been better. 

Steve disappears into the kitchen and you’re left alone once more, wandering as you inspect some of the collectibles more closely by the TV. Most items were from the Lord of the Rings franchise, a few Star Wars items, and an abundance of D&D figurines. All things that you went through phases of piqued interest for, but nothing terribly exciting. They had been just that – phases. Apparently, when it came to Eddie, such things didn’t exist. The apartment really just looked as if someone had taken a teenage boy’s room, and let it explode over more extensive square footage. As if he entered the typical phases for boys his age in high school, and never grew up.

Just as you reach out to grab one of the D&D figurines, a three-headed dragon, Eddie enters the living room with Steve at his side.

“Hey! Don’t fucking touch that!” Eddie shouts, making you jump back, finger no longer hovering over his glorified action figure. 

“Jesus Christ!” you shout back just as loudly, glaring up at him, “Ever heard of an inside voice?” 

He completely ignores the comment as his nostrils flare and he stands between you and the entertainment center, “We need to set some ground rules. Rule one, do not touch my shit, especially this stuff. They’re collectibles, fucking rare and crazy expensive. Keep your hands to yourself, princess.” 

The nickname is a match, striking against the roughness of your hatred, ready to burst into the flames of one of the classic screaming matches between the two of you. Steve can see it clear as day.

He clears his throat immediately, “Alright, alright. Calm down, children,” you open your mouth to argue against that nickname, but he doesn't leave pause for you to interject, “I’m leaving now. I know we joked about you two killing each other but…. Just, please don’t? It’s not worth it. Think of the money.” 

Eddie’s jaw clenches, his eyes unmoving from you as you muster up just as hateful of a glare. 

“Hey! Are you two listening to me?” he claps his hands, and the staring contest ends as you both reluctantly offer him your attention, “I’m serious. Who knows? Maybe you two can come out of this friends.”

Friends. The mere idea makes you cackle cruelly, Eddie balking immediately. 

“As if,” you sneer as Eddie spits, “Over my dead body.” 

Steve simply shrugs, “You say that now. We’ll see what changes over the next twenty four hours.” 

Nothing, you want to say. Nothing is going to change over the next twenty four hours, except I’ll be five hundred dollars richer. 

You join Eddie in walking Steve back to the door, even though you technically don’t have to because, technically, it’s not your apartment. But it’s still the polite thing to do, and Steve is still your friend, so you do. 

Eddie opens the door, and you stand a few steps away from them, shifting back and forth on your feet awkwardly. Steve pauses to check the watch on his wrist before turning and facing the two of you a final time.

“Alright, so, it’s currently four-fifteen. That means you-” he pauses and points directly to you, “-need to send proof of you both being alive, well, and still together at five-fifteen. You guys can leave the apartment, but you have to go with each other, and you can’t ditch each other wherever you might end up going. Capiche?” 

“Capiche,” you answer in monotone, Eddie not saying a word. 

“Good. Oh, by the way,” Steve already has one foot out the door, and you know it’s deliberate. Whatever he’s about to say, you’re not going to be happy about, “Expect randomized calls from all of us throughout it all. Including through the night. Cool? Cool! See you guys tomorrow, and keep your phones charged!” 

Both you and Eddie are already attempting to argue, immediately upset by this detail that was kept from both of you, but Steve is already jogging down the hallway, away from the chaotic outburst. 

“What the fuck?” Eddie says in annoyance, his face twisted terribly, “I didn’t agree to be babysat during this. I just want my fucking money.” 

Even though you were also seething at the additional rule, you opt instead to make a comment to get under Eddie’s skin rather than complain in agreement. “I think you forgot an F-bomb somewhere in there.” 

“Oh?” he turns to you, letting the door slam shut as he swings his arm, “My fucking bad. I fucking guess I should fucking watch my fucking language, yeah? Fucking oops.” 

“Has anyone told you you’re fucking annoying?” you ask in contempt. 

“Yeah. You.” 

He stalks away from his entry way at that, clearly pleased at getting the last word in this argument. And it nearly kills you, because you have no choice but to follow him back into his living room.

It’s going to be a long twenty four hours. 

He’s clearly heading towards the couch to sit down, and you can’t fathom staying in close proximity for another moment, so you begin to veer towards the kitchen. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asks suddenly once your back is turned to him. 

“The kitchen?” you glance over your shoulder, lifting an eyebrow, “Or is that not allowed?” 

“Why are you going to the kitchen?” 

“Why do you care?” 

“Because it’s my fucking apartment.” 

Right. He has a point. You won’t tell him that, but he has a point. 

He’s rerouted himself from the couch towards the hallway you’re about to enter, towering over you as his lips settle into a predictable frown. 

“Can you go more than ten seconds without dropping an F-bomb? Seriously,” you question, crossing your arms, “I just want water or something. Is that a crime?” 

“To answer your first question,” he shifts around your body in the tight space, his hand brushing your hip. Both of you jump back at the contact as if even touching each other burns, “No. I fucking can’t. Not when I know it bothers you so much, sweetheart,” he’s once again using a nickname he knows will irritate you on purpose as he walks into what you assume the kitchen is. And once again, you’re following behind him like a lost puppy, having to swallow your pride like a jagged pill, “Secondly, one of my rules is to not touch my shit, so… Yeah. It is a crime by the law of the land.” 

“Law of the land?” you snort, rolling your eyes, “My God. What are you going to do? Call the police? ‘Hello, yes, 911? I’d like to report a crime. A girl I voluntarily let into my home got herself a glass of water.’” 

You choose to purposefully pitch your voice higher rather than lower as you clearly mock him. It gets the reaction you were seeking out - his entire body stiffens as he stops in front of a cabinet. 

“Congratulations,” he says slowly, turning at an agonizing pace to face you, “It’s a new record. It’s been less than five minutes alone, and you’ve already gotten on my fucking nerves.”

“Good,” is all you can reply. 

He huffs in response before he goes back to whatever he was doing before, opening the cabinet to expose a small assortment of glasses and mugs alike. None of them match – all of them were clearly either bought at different times, or gifts, in the mugs case. They’re the type you might find at Spencer’s, all pop culture references or character faces. He grabs one of the smaller, plain clear cups, turning around to hand it to you. 

Before your hand can wrap around it, he yanks it back momentarily, “Now, if you decide to throw this cup at my head like a raging bitch, it’s plastic. Minimal damage. Keep that in mind, yeah?” 

Once he’s gotten in his smart-ass remark, he lets you take the cup from him. 

So he’s also thinking of Steve’s party. Good to know. 

“That’s fine. I’ve practiced my throws since then. I’m aiming for your crotch next time.” 

If you two were friends, it might be funny. You would have said it in light-hearted cadence, he would have thrown his head back in laughter, and it could be passed off as a simple inside joke between two acquaintances. But you aren’t friends, and you say it in a convincingly serious tone, and he doesn’t even smile.  

“You can get water from the fridge,” he informs you flatly, “Try not to break it.”

“It’s a fridge that dispenses water. I know how it works, asshole. I’ve used one before.” 

“You never know,” he shrugs. You expect him to walk away, to leave you to it, but instead he leans against his counter and watches you. 

And he thought he was the one being babysat over simple phone calls? 

You choose to bite your tongue for once as you fill the cup half full of water, taking your time as you sip some down, feeling his eyes on you the entire time. 

It’s only been a few seconds of silence. Blissful, wonderful, divine silence. But of course, it’s Eddie, and the moment he notices you begin to relax, he has to speak up and ruin it. 

“If I knew all it takes to shut you up is to keep your mouth occupied, sweetheart, I would have done it sooner,” he comments, and it takes practiced patience to slowly lower the cup and swallow what water is in your mouth without bursting with rage. But he has to comment on even that, “Aw, and you swallow? Just full of surprises, aren’t ya?” 

You turn to him, face flooding a brilliant shade of red as your eyes narrow. In the most virulent tone you can muster, you only respond with, “I hate your guts.” 

He grins. It’s not friendly – it’s downright bellicose. “The feeling’s mutual.” 

Yeah. It’s going to be a very long twenty four hours. 

[fineghkst]

Cards

summary: azriel shows you exactly what you will miss if you break up with him.

warnings: minors don’t interact (only 18+); smut; break up sex; oral receiving; shadow play

english if not my first language so let me know if you find any mistakes

It has been hours since you decided to break up with Azriel. When you finally said the words to the spymaster and he looked at you with an indescribable expression.

Things between you weren't going so well lately. He was absent, always busy with the missions Rhysand sent him. Azriel suddenly didn’t have more time for you. He wasn’t there at your birthday, wasn’t with you when you finally beat Cassian at during a competition of a card game you were addicted to and, of course, he forgot about your anniversary.

You tried to understand that he was working too much, tried to talk to Azriel and solve everything, but it wasn’t enough. Even if you didn’t want to let him go, you couldn’t date someone who practically wasn’t a part of your life anymore.

So you ended it and felt your heart explode in a million pieces while you stared at his expression turn into something desperate. He’s eyes becoming more tired than you thought it was possible, like his pain were leaking from them.

Countless thoughts crossed your mind before finally talking to him. What would be his reaction? How would you act around each other after the break up? Would he fight for you?

None of them came close to guessing this would happen.

After the discussion you started, with him questioning what he could possibly do to change your mind, he found himself defeated. You had made your decision.

Of course, the attraction you felt for Azriel always seemed to overcome barriers of logic. At some point a thought passed through your mind that maybe you could be mates, but the bond never snapped.

To be honest, if someone asked how Azriel ended between your legs, you wouldn’t know how to explain.

Even with a concrete decision made, of course Azriel would play dirty, showing exactly what you’d miss if you weren’t together.

— Are you enjoying this, love? — Azriel said, finally stopping his tongue from moving on your core. He had his arms around your legs, holding you open for him — I hope you are, because this is the last time you will ever feel me.

A senseless moan left your mouth, disapproving that he stopped to eat your pussy and was talking such things.

Azriel laughed, leaving a small hickey on your tights.

— Hm… since you made your mind and there’s nothing to convince you to come back to me, I bet you thought about this part, right? Never touching me again…

His shadows started to surround your skin, lightly stroking your legs like a ghost touch.

— Never feeling my shadows playing with you… — You whimpered with the thought. No one would ever know how to touch you like he does. — What’s wrong, love? Didn’t you prepare yourself for that?

Azriel moved away from your legs and the shadows grabbed them, replacing Azriel’s hands. He stared at you with something… primal in his eyes. His huge wings half opened and his defined muscles showing. Cauldron, Azriel was so beautiful that you felt like your brain was severely damaged to even think about breaking up with him.

— If you don’t want me anymore, why you’re so wet? Why did you agree so fast to have a last fuck with me? — The spymaster said, still staring you while his shadows begun to stimulate your clit. You could see the possessiveness in his look.

— Azriel… please — A moan escaped your mouth.

— Please what, love?

— Just… just fuck me.

— Why should I do that? — He chuckled.

— I need you, Az. Please. I don’t want to leave you.

— So you’re changing your mind this quick? But you looked so committed to your decision earlier… that’s a shame.

His shadows accelerated the movements, taking you to heaven and back. You were so close to having an orgasm that it was impossible to form a congruent thought.

— S-stop punishing me. — You whined

— Again, I don’t see any reason to — Azriel had a smirk on his face. He was playing with you until you become completely desperate for him, with your brain almost completely empty and the only thing left was his name.

Azriel was succeeding in his goal and he knew it.

— Unless you give me one good reason, love — The smirk turned into a grin. Azriel keep observing his shadows stimulating you, which were moving faster now — Because, honestly, you don’t deserve to have me inside you.

You tried to reply, but it was too much. His shadows were taking you beyond your limits, slithering against your clit. Only incoherent moans left your mouth. It didn’t take long for finally reaching an orgasm.

Azriel never had let you cum with his shadows, he always stopped them and ended the job himself. However, today, the spymaster were playing all his cards, showing exactly how much pleasure he could give you.

Even if Azriel still wearing his pants, you could see the huge painful bonner he had. But he kept his distance, watching you squirm with his fierce eyes. Anyone could say how much he was craving for you, how he wanted to fuck you senseless.

— So… do you have a good argument for me, love?

— I-I…

— I’m listening.

— I just want to feel like you truly desire me, Az — You confessed, trying to normalize your breathing. The shadows loosen the grip around your thighs.

Azriel stared at you, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

— What to you mean, love? You really think I don’t want you?

— You barely have time for me, for us. I understand you’re working a lot since the end of the war with Hybern, but I need you to see me, Az. — You pulled the sheets, covering your body.

— I’m sorry, love. — He said, finally breaking the distance between you two and supporting his arms between your body, firming his hands on the sheets. Azriel’s face was so close from yours, allowing you to feel his breath against it — I didn’t realize I was making you feel like this. But I need to be clear: I will always want you and see you. I desire, crave for you so hard that sometimes I can swear I’m going insane. Let me prove it that I’m mean it, princess.

Giving him a small hesitant nod, feeling your insecurities dissipate slowly, Azriel kissed you deeply as his hands took the sheets away from your body, letting you complete exposed to him. His hard cock was pressing against your bare pussy, making you grind. It was impossible not to moan considering how sensitive you were after the orgasm.

— No, princess. Don’t be greedy. — Azriel said, moving away to finally unbutton his pants.

His hard cock jumped out and he didn’t think twice before claiming your mouth again, feeling you whimpering against his tongue while his fingers touched your nipples. With the other hand, Azriel held his cock and pushed inside you.

— Fuck, you always take me so well, princess. — He groaned, increasing his pace — You have no idea how much I missed to feel you around my cock.

He put his shadows back in action, making them play with your nipples. Azriel pinned your wrists beyond your head with one hand, while the other got down to your clit.

— Az — You moaned loud.

— You love when my shadows tease you like that, don’t you? — Your walls started to clutch around his cock. Azriel growled, thrusting deeply — Maybe I let they play with you more from now.

You squirmed with the idea of feeling them guiding you through pleasure.

— Remember, love. I’m the only one who can make you feel like this. — He whispered, approaching his mouth to your ear — And you’re only mine.

Azriel kept moving inside you until you finally felt a wave of pleasure dominate your body. The spymaster didn’t take long to cum inside you, filling your inside.

He stood in and looked to your eyes, both of you breathless.

— I love you. And I’m truly sorry I made you doubt about my feelings — Azriel said, stroking your hair gently as his shadows retreated, caressing your skin before disappearing. The spymaster moved away, giving a small kiss at your forehead.

— I love you too, Az. — You said — I’m sorry I broke up with you. And just to make clear, I don’t want to.

— I deserved it and I’m relieved to know you changed your mind. — Azriel got up and disappeared through the door for a few minutes, coming back with a towel to clean you up. — I won’t let work getting between us anymore, I’m talking to Rhysand tomorrow. He must find a way to solve everything without me.

Azriel lifted the sheets, covering both of you and pushed you to his chest, stroking your hair until you fell asleep.

[strelitzia-mystery1097]

Cloud 'needs so much therapy that it isn't funny' Strife

*spoilers* for Ff7 Rebirth.

So Sephiroth really is trying to break Cloud more than in the original.

To start off, Sephiroth tries to make Cloud think that Tifa wasn't Tifa. That she was fake.

Why would he do that?

Answer: Because she's the one to piece together Cloud's memories. If Cloud can't trust her than he can't trust her account.

He also does his usual tricks of 'Black Materia', 'Puppet', 'Reunion', ect.

But Cloud this time around is constantly getting harassed and manipulated by Sephiroth, like way more than in the OG. Cloud also is coming to different conclusions and ideas from the OG like for example, he's degrading. He thinks that's why his memories are a mess because of degradation.

Even when he takes one step forward by remembering Zack, he then thinks Zack got washed away by the river instead of that infantry guy.

There's even times when Cloud straight repeats something Sephiroth says word for word and it doesn't register to him.

But yeah constantly his mind is under onslaught of Sephiroth.

By the time when we get to the Temple of the Ancients I'd argue that Cloud's mental state is worse than what it was in the OG in the scene when he gives Sephiroth the Black Materia.

In the OG he still has the creepy giggle moment but he snaps out of it. And when he gives the Black Materia to Sephiroth it's an out of body experience where we clearly see Cloud's inner self be against it but powerless to giving his body giving the Black Materia to Sephiroth or to beating up Aerith.

But after that Cloud finally realises something is horribly wrong with him. That Sephiroth can control him and almost doesn't go after Aerith because he's scared of himself.

...And Rebirth Cloud has it worse in my opinion.

There is no inner self. And Cloud is an obedient puppet that Sephiroth is toying with. Sephiroth already had the Black Materia and throws to Cloud and tells him to give it to him, and Cloud is almost eager to obey. Tifa tries to stop him and Aerith does too and Cloud chases after her and it's almost worse than silently beating her up because now he's toying with her while still so eager. She gives it to him and Cloud only snaps out of it after he gives it to Sephiroth. He then tries to save Aerith and well-

He wakes up after the multiverse stuff and the OG dream of Aerith being like 'imma go bye'.

But this time he doesn't freak out, terrified that Sephiroth can control him. He just... doesn't acknowledge it. He just goes on to find Aerith. When Yuffie asks what happened how did Sephiroth get the Black Materia if he didn't beat up Cloud he just goes 'uh...' and when Tifa asks him to let her know if he's getting weird thoughts he asks Tifa about what she means. She gives the example of thinking she's fake and he apologises, but the fact that he doesn't immediately realise that she's also talking about Black Materia is a bit of red flag.

And he might as well be using those red flags later on for semafor because oh my god-

What happened with Aerith's death is weird. At first I thought it was two worlds overlapping but no-

Cloud's mind f^@&ing snapped and thinks he saved Aerith.

That's why Cloud doesn't properly react to Aerith's death. No speech about his feelings and no scene of putting her in the water. He's full on hallucinating her. Whether that is Aerith's ghost or not doesn't matter because he's convinced himself that she's fine.

That's why he talks about Aerith waking up or going home because he can't cope with her being dead.

Sephiroth screwed with Cloud's mind so much here that he genuinely is more insane now than what he was in the OG.

So you can bet when they get to the Northern Crater, Sephiroth will use the truth of Aerith dead along with the truth of Nibelheim to break Cloud even more.

...And now I have to wait 3+ years for part 3. Rebirth really was a gift that gave me despair.

[misty--nights]

So I'm watching the show yet again (usually I struggle watching shows, I don't know how I've managed to watch it twice already and still want to watch it a third time), and here are some things that I've noticed in episode 1, after the read more because it got longer than expected.

Charles calls himself the brawn and the protector of the two, but it's Edwin who goes all serious and says "I would not let that happen" when Charles asks what they'd do if Death came for them. I'm sure/concerned that he'd try to fight her if she ever came to take them...

Edwin knits!! When they are wearing their disgusses to get the demon out of Crystal he knitts while Charles reads the newspaper. Granted, you can only see him doing for a short moment, so I don't know if he's doing it properly, but I like to think he is. I have many thoughts about this, but it would take over the whole post. I'm still willing to make a whole post for it if anyone is interested but yeah. Bottom line is, Edwin can knitt!

The tone of voice that Crystal uses when she first wakes up in the Agency and in her walk with Charles is really different to the tone she uses the rest of the season. In hindsight, it's pretty obvious that is her mean girl tone, but still, I just think it's a nice detail.

Edwin takes Crystal's coffee cup when she takes the mail? We've just stablished he's not going to drink it, so is he just being petty? Is he going to throw it away or hide it just to be a nuisance? Is he investigating what she got? This boy, I swear...

I know people have pointed out all the Clue boards in the closet, but there's also a ouija board there? Hilarious. Maybe some ghosts prefer communicating with that instead of speaking? Or Charles got it because he thought it was funny and then never got rid of it?

I like that the thing that convinces Edwin to take the Becky Aspen case is Charles asking if he's going to let a little girl die. But more importantly, the title card right after that says "three flights". I've had this question for a bit, but what do they do during those flights? Do the boys spend those just standing in the hallway next to Crystal's seat? Do they sit in the cockpit? Do they hide in the bathroom until someone comes to use it? Do they hope for empty seats they can use? I don't know, every possible version of their trip is so funny to me. I know ghosts don't get tired like alive people, but the idea of them just standing awkwardly off to the side for more than 10 hours is hilarious.

No big detail here, I just love Crystal's purple coat thing she wears in this episode. Never really noticed that it has like flowers embroidered at the bottom, and the color of the whole thing is so nice.

"Maybe he's our fucking demon now." Crystal I love you, that is one of the funniest lines in the episode. I also really like that she gets to be angry and scared. Even if later Jenny talks her down from the worst it, it's not her anger that she points out, it's the fact that people are just like that and how the boys act is nothing personal. Her anger is not directly attacked (except by Edwin, but that's just him being petty), because she gets to be angry about all that's happening to her.

The flashback to Edwin's life at St. Hilarion's changes the video aspect (is that the proper term for that? It makes the screen square like in older films is what I mean.) Also he card for that flasback specifies "Edwardian England" even while having the date at the bottom. I don't know, it made me chuckle that they felt the need to clarify the era even while having the date there. They don't put "modern day England" for Crystal's flashback.

With the way the cat reacted to the sardine, I'm willing to bet he would have told Edwin everything without the binding spell if Edwin had a few more fish for him.

When they're talking behind the shop and Crystal says she gets angry, Charles looks down and takes a bit to respond. I think this is the first time he relates to her. The first time he can call that pull twards her something more than mere attraction. He has this very vulnerable look when she says it and then immediately shows her his parents and tells her something he's never told anyone before? This boy saw his anger in someone else and thought maybe it's fine for him to be angry too.

Is it a trick of the light in the scene where she meets Niko, or does Crystal have a septum piercing?

"If you're sticking around, you gotta let us in." Charles, I love you, but you are the last person who should be saying this. Specially after that sad look he gets when Crystal says it must be hard not being able to talk or hug his parents. You just agreed to what she said, as if that were the truth of why you check on them, what do you mean "you gotta let us in"? (I do get that they haven't known each other for long so he's not going to open up about all his trauma, but precisely because of that, it's wild for him to expect her to do it.)

I never noticed Charles quickly returning the mirror to normal when Edwin comes. I'd noticed the audio cue for the mirror changing back, but I never noticed Charles moving to do it and he looks so panicked about it.

Considering how Edwin is about touch, the fact that he lets Crystal take his hand when she tells the that the case matters is huge.

Why are they planning down at the shop when they have Crystal's room all to themselves? Besides the ambiance, of course. I think Jenny's reaction is completely justified.

Esther leaves her turntable on when she goes to the post office. Is it for Monty? The atmosphere? Did she just forget?

Not a new discovery, just a reminder of something I really like. There's this very specific editing thing (like the quick cuts between the instruments and then the opened lock, I don't know what to call it) that they do pretty much every time Charles picks a lock / opens a door, and it makes me very happy each time. The sound they use for it is perfection.

Edwin's attention to detail is insane. The fact that he can recall one cupboard is further forward than it was in the plans is really impressive.

Charles sounds so done when he throws the magic backpack. "Put her in the bag-of-tricks backpack." Man, I can hear the eye roll in that sentence. Good to know Edwin isn't the only bitchy one in this relationship.

And that's it for episode 1. I think I might do this for the others as well as I watch them. It was really fun to do, and it forces me to pay attention to the details, so I think it's worthwhile.

[inkwolvesandcoffee]

TF!141 hearing you sing for the first time

CoD ML

John Price

John always chimes in when you’re listening to jazzy music like Frank Sinatra’s and Michael Bublé’s.

Despite claiming otherwise, he’s guilty of giving many a home concert when he thinks you’re out the door. So more often than not, it’s you catching him singing.

John loves singing to you while slow dancing in the kitchen. The most stupid grin will break out on his lips when he does. But, honestly, can you blame him? He’s on Cloud Nine whenever you’re in his arms.

(Or balancing on his toes as he guides you through the dance)

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley

Ghost leans against the fridge while watching you quietly sing to yourself. Usually it’s him cooking dinner, but after much debating you finally managed to convince him to let you do it (for the first time in two months).

Now, the only time Simon will allow for Ed Sheeran is when you’re singing along to his songs like this evening. Although, he also doesn’t turn off your music when you’re listening to the singer-songwriter while cleaning the house (another daily debate because he’s actually a bit of a neat freak).

He likes it better when you sing something else, however. In fact, a proud warmth spreads in his chest when he notices you’re singing along to one of the playlists he’s made for you. Sure, he doesn’t expect you to scream your lungs out during certain parts of songs by Sleep Token or Bad Omens. But he does like that you’re listening to and evidently liking the songs he likes.

It’s difficult for Simon to express himself and to communicate with you (at times). However, he’s glad he’s found a way via music.

Little do you know how much your voice comforts him, puts him at ease.

It’s his guide to you.

And he wants to hear every single note.

Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick

Gaz immediately joins you in song, phone in hand and iTunes on if he doesn’t know the lyrics. Fight me on this, but I dare to bet he kinda sounds like Pharell Williams.

Kyle flat out refuses to participate in karaoke, though. Simon knows not to pressure him any further when he does (he’s lost microphone rights after one song the first time you and the lads went), but Soap and John don’t take ‘no’ for an answer as easily. Eventually they do… after you’ve told them off for the third time. He’ll never admit it, but Kyle’s glad you come to his aid. Although, he’s not so sure the men would listen as well out in the field. Then again, he still recalls the furtive glances around the table the first time he introduced you to the task force and you asked them to come over for dinner.

He still doesn’t know how you did it, but whatever magic you worked to keep things lowkey, casual, relaxed, and civil (not a single swear word or cuss to be heard the entire night) was impressive.

To be fair, you’re always enchanting to Kyle.

And as enthralling as a siren when you sing to him

Soap McTavish

Most of the time, he’s the one initiating a veritable home concert. Or, rather, musical.

Yes, you read that right.

MUSICAL.

Johnny loves musical songs and you often catch him watching replays on YouTube of Hamilton, Phantom of the Opera, or some other show in the West End (Boys from the Blackstuff, anyone?). That being said, though, if he’s on leave, he’ll occasionally book a weekend in London for the two of you so he can drag you along to one of the many theatres. Of course, to repay the kindness, he takes you out for lunch if the show is in the early afternoon or a nice restaurant for dinner. 

Now, you tagging along is a given which wouldn’t need compensation whatsoever. Nevertheless, Johnny feels guilty about making the days down south about his passion and fun rather than yours. So the least he could do is treat you.

Though his company is already enough.

The shared moment, away from the battlefield, away from army life, seated in a theatre to immerse in a play, is enough.

Your man being Johnny McTavish rather than Soap is enough.

It’s plenty. 

[starsandtulips]

welt with "the kids" headcanons. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

characters⟡ welt yang, stelle, march 7th, dan heng, (slight) himeko, (slight) pom pom, (mentioned) seele, (mentioned) luka

relationships⟡ none

cw⟡ reference to canonical character death in hi3

~ all three of them look up to welt in different ways

~ stelle appreciates his knowledge of the universe, especially when she woke up she understood almost nothing and it's nice to have someone to rely on to know things

~ dan heng admires his resilience and passion for adventure

~ march loves his stories and often takes little bits of her favorites to turn into backstories for herself

~ welt can be pretty quiet when not answering (mostly stelle's) questions, often staring into space

~ the only time the trailblaze trio see his eyes light up when talking is when he's discussing the shows he's worked on in his time as an animator

~ he has shown them all of the episodes of arahato that he can remember off of the top of his head (using his mimicry)

~ they are all big fans of arahato (even if dan heng doesn't show it)

~ welt has somehow been roped into promising to get/make them arahato merchandise to wear

~ stelle attempted to bring back a small piece of the engine of creation as a gift for welt but was told it had to stay on jarilo-vi

~ the trio has several running betting pools (that dan heng had to be coaxed into participating in) about welt

~ the betting pools that are currently ongoing include:

is arahato real? (stelle and march believe arahato is a real robot while dan heng thinks the show is fully fictional)

who can eat more spicy puffy mushrooms: mr. yang or stelle? (they're waiting to head back to belobog for this one to convince welt to do it and because members of wildfire, seele and luka, are also involved in the betting pool)

does mr. yang actually need his glasses? ("because he loses them so much on the Express!" march says, stelle and dan heng are confused on why someone would wear glasses without needing them)

~~some angst below!!!!~~

~ the only thing that is off limits to bet on is why he sometimes looks at himeko like he's looking at a ghost

~ i already wrote something on this but: when welt begins to drift off and become lost in his memories, the trailblaze trio + pom pom team up to cheer him up!!!

~ they've made a pact to not let himeko know or welt catch on to what they're doing on those days

~ so far they have been mostly successful in cheering him up

[unreliablesnake]

The bet – part 3 (Simon "Ghost" Riley x reader)

Summary: Ghost is sick and you give him a visit in the infirmary.

Note: Your support means an awful lot, so I'd like to start by thanking you all! Since so many of you wanted more, here's a short part 3.

Warnings: none, it's fluff.

part 1 / part 2

Stolen kisses, well-hidden touches, and longing looks filled your days while you were on a mission with Ghost, and it was exceptionally rare to find the time and place to get a little intimate with him. He tried, though, he truly did, but something or someone always interrupted you.

And then one day you woke up to Price informing the team that Ghost was in the infirmary with some nasty cough and fever. The doctors ordered him to stay in bed, which he could only do there because if he was left unsupervised, he would just sneak out to join the rest of them.

“Can I visit him? Just to see if he needs anything,” you asked Price when you were left alone.

“I know about you two,” he said, giving you a smaller heart attack. After clearing your throat, you put your hands behind your back and gave him a questioning look. “It’s obvious. And since you’re working with me most of the time, I’ll ignore it for now. Anyway, the answer is yes, you can go see him.”

Nodding, you rushed out of the room and went straight to the infirmary. Ghost was lying on a bed, his usual mask replaced with a hoodie and a surgical mask. A soft smile crept on your lips as you watched him sleep, looking as peaceful as he did back home in the mornings. You wrapped your fingers around his hand and leaned down to place a kiss on his forehead.

“Oh, honey,” you muttered quietly once you felt his hot skin against your lips.

Price wasn’t joking about the fever. You pulled a chair closer and sat down next to his bed, lips pressed to his hand that you were holding. You didn’t care how careless you were right now, how easily someone could have seen you. All you could care about was his well-being.

After some time you felt and heard him shift in bed, eyes fluttering open. “What are you doing here?” he asked you between coughs.

“Price told us you were sick. I felt like being a supportive girlfriend.”

You could see it in his eyes that he was smiling under the mask. This was the man you were so in love with, the soft, sweet guy who always put you first. Not like that wasn't the same with you. He was slowly becoming the most important person in your life, but this didn't bother you at all.

Now that he was sick, your heart clenched at the sight. Ghost being sick was so unusual, so surreal. He always seemed to be the kind of tough guy who was only bedridden when he got injured on the field, not because the flu or a nasty cold took him out.

When he moved his fingers to lace them with yours, you looked back at his face with a smile. “Anyone could walk in,” he said quietly.

With a laugh, you shrugged. “Price knows about us,” you informed him, and he gave you a worried look in response. “It's okay, since I don't work under your command most of the time, he doesn't care much about it.”

Ghost wanted to speak, but instead he ended up with a coughing fit. Once it died down, he closed his eyes, and tried to take deep breaths. “You should go before you catch whatever this is,” he suggested without looking at you.

Rolling your eyes, you reached for the glass of water beside the bed that had a straw in it, then stood up to get closer to his face. “You need to hydrate. Drink some water,” you told him in a tone that made it clear you didn't want to argue about this.

Finally he opened his eyes again and gave you a tired look. Even if he wanted to argue and convince you to leave, he was too tired to do it. So you won. With a triumphant smile, you offered him the end of the straw.

“Fine,” he muttered before drinking some. “How long are you planning to sit here beside my bed? They told me I need to rest, and honestly, I feel like sleeping anyway.”

“Until Price tells me to go. I'm not leaving your side, Simon, don't even think about it. The nurse can focus on others, I'll nurse you back to health myself,” you added with a smile.

Ghost watched as you put down the glass, eyes barely open by now. “I'm glad you're here.”

[deathsimage]

Group “therapy” session

!! 18+ only !!

Haven’t really had time to write or post so sorry if this is messy, I’m way too exhausted to look over it but I wanted to post something so here we go. I hope you lot enjoy. 🫶🏻

Also too tired to add all the tags so feel free to tag more stuff

Warnings: sexual language and descriptions (all consensual)

Content: milking kink, group masturbation, cum shots, light bondage, m/m, strong language

Featuring: Captain John Price, Sergeant John Soap Mactavish, Lieutenant Simon Ghost Riley, Sergeant Kyle Gaz Garrick, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo Parra, Alex Echo Keller, Colonel König

Pairings: poly 141, AleRudy, GhostKonig, GazAlex, SoapPrice, GhostPrice, GazPrice, AlePrice, RudySoap (just a bunch of sluts tbh)

It began as a somewhat innocent- hah, yeah no…it began as an idiotic young male conversation like most things boys get into. Alex, Gaz, and Soap giggling and snickering as they tried to say who could last longer in bed. Somehow the conversation drug Ghost and Price into it, how Alex assumed they would last longest, seeing how they had such a sense of self control, while Gaz and Soap wouldn’t last a minute because they were, as Alex quoted, “whiney and breedable.”

Now it somehow ended up as a bet…but they still had to convince Price and Ghost to join the bet…

Price was surprisingly amused with the bet and decided he would join rather quickly. Ghost on the other hand…he only agreed when he was told he was the most probable to win so now he had something to prove. Now they had to get help.

Alejandro was a bit too excited to contribute, and Rudy was just happy to be involved. König didn’t know what to think, his mind practically shut down at the question of if he would help jerk off one of the 141 in an attempt to see who could last the longest before cumming.

It was in motion now. All four of the special task force men were tied at the wrists from the ceiling, each standing in just their boxer briefs with their arms suspended above their heads. Price was now beginning to wonder what the hell he had gotten himself into, and Ghost was just ready to prove he was the better amongst the rest of them. Soap, he was excited for completely different reasons. So was Gaz.

The other four men who weren’t standing half naked were discussing who they were going to ‘take’ for the challenge. Ending up with Alex refusing to let anyone else have Gaz, and König sheepishly requesting Ghost or Soap. Alejandro took the ‘big man’ being Price, with a smirk on his face as he winked at Price and gave his ass a slap. Rudy was happy to take Soap so that left König with his first choice of Ghost. Everyone was happy.

Alex pulled out a duffle bag, having the clear open ended masturbation sleeves, and vibrators.

“Hey that’s not fair!” Soap pouted, but his squirming just at the sight told a different story.

Each of the 141 was now being stripped of their boxers and stepping out of them. Alex immediately took Gaz into his mouth, seeming more eager than anyone there just to have a reason to fuck around with Gaz. Gaz threw his head back at the sensation of Alex taking his cock nearly completely down his throat. Soap looked over at Gaz with a smirk, biting his lip as Rudy spit in his hand and began to stroke Soaps cock, bringing a breathy whimper from Soaps lips. Alejandro pressed his thumb firmly against Prices tip, bringing a groan from Prices chest as Alejandro rubbed the precum over Prices slit. König sat kneeled in front of Ghost, looking up at him as if waiting for permission to touch him. Ghost simply looked down at König and gave a small nod, giving König the go ahead to touch him. König brought his hand up to Ghosts cock, his other hand moving his mask up above his nose to lick at Ghosts tip, making a deep breath escape his nose. Clearly Ghost was trying to hide his pleasure, but Königs kitten licks were something he wasn’t expecting.

Now that each member of the 141 was prepped and properly hard, the lube and toys came out. Alex grabbing a cock sleeve and stroking Gaz at a fairly quick pace, leaving his tongue out to lick at Gaz’s tip every time it was exposed. Rudy grabbed a sleeve and a vibrator for Soap, slowly shucking the sleeve up and down Soaps cock as he held the vibrator against him, making Soaps hips buck and his legs shake as his moans overtook the sound of the vibrator. Alejandro took a vibrator and rubbed it up and down the underside of Prices cock, his free hand massaging Prices balls.

“Mm, fuck-“ Price spit out as he arched his back, making Alejandro grin as if he had won something.

König wasn’t sure what to do…just looking up at Ghost with embarrassment.

“Do what feels natural. Don’t worry about what they’re doing..” Ghost reassured König. König nodded and took Ghost back into his mouth, sucking till his cheeks hallowed out, bringing a loud groan from Ghost that no one expected. König looked up at Ghost with his cock still sucked into his lips, beginning to bob his head as his large hands gripped Ghosts thighs.

Sounds of moans, vibrations, lewd wet slick smacking sounds, accompanied by cursing and groaning filled the room. It didn’t take long honestly, only about 10 minutes before the first loser came.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! Rudy! Please!” Soap screamed. If it wasn’t for the restraints holding him up his knees would’ve given out long ago. Rudy moved the vibrator around to Soaps asshole so he could shuck the sleeve faster on Soaps cock, making his entire body shake and twitch as he climaxed, cumming so hard it splashed on Rudy’s face and dripped to the floor.

“First loser!” Alex chimed out while shucking the sleeve on Gaz’s cock. Rudy untied Soap and helped him regain his composure before taking him to go clean up, leaving the others to finish off their session.

Alejandro was sucking on Prices balls like his life depended on it, his hand still running the vibrator over Prices cock, pressing it against the tip, causing Price to groan and shake, standing on the tips of his toes as he arched his back and pulled against his restraints that were suspending him from the ceiling.

König looked up at Ghost and pulled back off of his cock. “May we…try something else Lieutenant?”

“Whatever you want to do is fine.” Ghost reassured him. This made König feel much more at ease about what he had in mind. König stood up and cut Ghosts restraints, letting his arms come down to his sides.

“Hey that’s not fa-AIR-“ Gaz tried to choke out

“Don’t worry sergeant, I assure you it will be” König got down on his hands and knees in front of Ghost, pushing his pants down to his knees, bending over and reaching back to spread himself open for Ghost. “I would be honored if you…if you had your way with me Lieutenant…” König spoke softly. Ghost groaned and immediately dropped to his knees behind König, not even caring if this would make it more difficult than the others. Ghost spit in his hand and spread the slick over Königs hole, sliding a finger inside of him to prep him, eventually entering another finger to stretch him. After pulling his fingers out, Ghost lined his cock up with Königs prepped hole, slowly pushing into him. Königs precum leaked to the floor as he moaned with Ghost as their bodies connected. Ghost very soon bottomed out into König, not taking a moment to waste before beginning to roughly snap his hips into König.

“Ah! Ah yes! Danke Lieutenant!!” König yelled, drooling on the floor as his face was pressed down.

Watching Ghost fuck König so desperately in front of them made it even more difficult for Price and Gaz to hold out.

“Wait, we’re allowed to do that?” Alex looked up at Gaz. Gaz was moaning too much to respond, just nodded. Alex stopped shucking Gaz and stood up, going around behind him and pushing his own pants down before putting some lube on himself. Gaz arched his back to push his ass up to Alex, giving Alex all he needed to push his cock into Gaz’s tight clenching hole.

“Mm, fuck~” Alex moaned, leaning in and muffling his sound’s against Gaz’s skin.

“Bloody hell-“ Price choked out, watching the other two fuck was what pushed him over the edge. Not many people knew that was one of his favorite things. Price surprisingly was the next to cum, his cock twitching as Alejandro kept the vibrator against Prices balls to make sure every drop was out. Now it was Alejandro’s turn to take Price to clean up and rehydrate.

Alex reached up and untied Gaz, but only to press him against the wall behind them. Alex was fucking Gaz into the wall, gripping Gaz’s hips as Gaz gripped onto Alex’s hands. Gaz was quickly approaching his climax, fully prepared to finish Alex off but-

“Fuck Gaz, I’m cumming- please let me cum in you!” Alex whined. Gaz nodded and reached a hand back to grip Alex’s hair as Alex bit and sucked on the skin of Gaz’s shoulder, leaving hickeys behind to remember tomorrow. “Yes, yes please cum in me Alex!” Gaz moaned. Once given the okay, Alex let himself spill inside of Gaz, the feeling of the warm sticky cum filling him up pushed Gaz over the edge, feeling marked and owned by Alex. His legs shook as his cum spilled into the floor beneath them. Both of them breathing heavily, staying out for a few moments before they were able to slowly make their way to go clean themselves up and rest. Leaving the winner, Ghost.

Ghost was still pounding König into the floor, one hand pressing Königs face against the floor, the other hand gripping Königs hip, clearly leaving bruises. “Yes, yes yes! Ghost!” König panted and moaned, letting Ghost use him as his personal cock sleeve. It wasn’t too much longer before Ghost pulled out and came on Königs hole, using his thumb to rub it in, making König squirm and whimper. Ghost was finished, but he knew König wasn’t, and he wasn’t about to just leave him like that.

“Roll over.” Ghost commanded. König swiftly obeyed and rolled onto his back. Ghost finished pulling Königs pants off and pushed his legs back. Ghost bent over to begin sucking off Königs cock, two of his fingers entering Königs used and cum covered hole. König arched his back, cursing in German at the dual sensation of being fucked from both ends.

Keeping a good rhythm with both his mouth and his fingers, Ghost was quick to finish König off. König had never cum this hard in his life…and he prayed it wasn’t the last time.

It definitely wouldn’t be the last time.

Turns out nobody knew what they’re were even betting for. They had all forgotten it was a bet by this point anyway.

[frango-maconheiro]

Welcome Home

Wally Darling x GN!reader

part one ! part three

☆ My sandwich lover crush (part two) ☆

☆ I appreciate criticism, ideas, and your opinions. ☆

Trigger Warning: scopophobia, paranoia.

🪼 you watched a little bit of a movie that was passing on a random channel. It was about a little girl finding out there's a portal under her bed that lands on a magical world where she makes a lot of friends and goes on adventures together.

🪼 it was pretty wholesome, but it was starting to get late and there were only a few sandwiches left, so you decided to write down the name of the movie on a piece of paper to watch later. You stretched, grabbed your blanket, and went to the kitchen to put away your bowl.

🪼 after putting away your bowl, you sit on the counter for some good three minutes to calm down your stomach. At any moment, you could just throw up all your delicious sandwiches, and you didn't want that.

🪼 your stomach calmed down. If you went right now to brush your teeth and go to bed, it would be perfect, so you go towards the bathroom.

🪼 When you're about to open the bathroom door, you feel like maybe one last sandwich before brushing your teeth would be perfectly alright. You've already eaten at least eleven sandwiches this night, and another one wouldn't hurt, so you go running to the kitchen just to grab a sandwich.

🪼 you ate your wonderful sandwich with only three bites. You would've eaten it with one bite, but choking on a sandwich was the last thing you wanted.

🪼 how weird, it wasn't that cold when you were here earlier. it could be a ghost. You would've giggled, but the soft, heavy breathing right behind you didn't really let you do that.

🪼 you instinctively turn around, punching the air. there was nothing behind you. It was just your imagination.

🪼 you decide to turn the lights on, but even with the lights on, you still feel unsafe, you look around, it's good, you're good, there's only you here, only you. Your throat is quite dry from your little paranoid event, so you decide to grab some water.

🪼 it's scary, the feeling of someone watching at you, like you're a prey. If this continues, you're not gonna be able to sleep at all.

🪼 You drink the water and start running towards the bathroom, you're too scared to go walking, when you enter the bathroom, you close the door, and you brush your teeth, now you can finally go to bed and get over with this.

🪼 you open the door, and when you are about to get out of the bathroom, you close the door immediately. You heard something. It sounded just like steps. you really need something to comfort yourself.

🪼 It's better to believe that it was just your pet being a little rascal. If it was an intruder, the alarm on your phone would've already notified you.

🪼 you should stop being silly and just go to bed because all this scary stuff is already getting on your nerves, but not before grabbing your last sandwich to comfort you to sleep, of course.

🪼 You take a deep breath and step out of the bathroom. you're now facing the darkness. Suddenly, you're reminded of the curious existence of shadow people. after everything that happened this night, believing in those little guys had at least some way of comfort because from what you remember, they dislike affection and are sensitive towards yelling at them.

🪼 you decide that throwing a pick-up line and blowing a kiss was a good plan. If it didn't work, you could just yell at it and run to your room.

🪼 You were thinking about a pick-up line to use, so while you did that, you went back to the kitchen to grab your last sandwich.

🪼 you're trying your best, but it's hard not to shake while you're convinced there must be something in the dark. you clear your throat and say, " You're not a sandwich, but i bet you're just as delicious." That was a horrible pick-up line, but it's all you could think at the moment. You grab your sandwich and look behind you, staring at the darkness. You blow a kiss.

🪼 the staring feeling got heavier, it felt more intense, you swear you saw something move, you took a bite out of your sandwich and calmly walked toward the dark.

🪼 when you stepped on the darkness, you started running. forget plan b, there's no way you're staying here any more minutes after that.

🪼 "You're never catching me alive dumbass!" You say screaming and running as fast as you can.

🪼 you can not only feel but you can also hear it running towards you.

🪼 While running in the dark, you forgot about a simple detail, the new plushie you had gotten. It was a cute, big, and soft rainbow caterpillar that you had named chirpy. You slept cuddling chirpy on the floor this morning.

🪼 when you realized that you tripped on chirpy, you were already falling on the ground.

🪼 you fell to your side, protecting your sandwich. The impact wasn't that strong but still hurt. When you started to get up, it was too late. you felt a hand on your shoulder. and then you blacked out, still holding your dear perfect bitten sandwich.

☆ what do you guys think? ☆

[unromancable-favs]

A BUNCH of dark brotherhood incorrect quotes i got from the generator

listener: If I ever had a child, I imagine they would be a lot like you.

astrid: Aww, thanks—

listener: Which is probably why I’ve never reproduced.

----

astrid: Okay, can we all stop saying stupid shit for a moment, please?!

arnbjorn: Alright.

cicero: Hey, I-

astrid: SHUT UP!

cicero: I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED MY SENTENCE!!

arnbjorn: It was bound to be stupid.

----

listener: cicero, how could you possibly have gotten into this much trouble in one day?

cicero: It... It didn't take me the whole day...

----

listener, looking at their reflection: Now, that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be?

cicero: Well, that's you.

listener: Me?! Is that what I look like?

cicero: You don't know?

listener: Busy day.

----

arnbjorn: Why do you not believe that ghosts are real?

veezara: Never seen one.

arnbjorn: Okay, I mean, there’s a lot of things that you can’t see that are real.

veezara: What can’t I see?

arnbjorn: You can’t see gravity. That’s real.

veezara: Yeah, I can drop an apple.

arnbjorn: Fuck.

----

cicero: Astrology is fun because i can pretend that all of my behaviors are just a result of being a Gemini and not symptoms of mental illness.

nazir: Being a Gemini is a mental illness. That’s not hate it’s just a fact.

----

listener: What are you eating?

nazir: You wouldn't like it, it's really salty.

listener: I like you, don't I?

----

astrid: *visiting the squad* Hello, I just came to-

astrid: *sees cicero shoving veezara into the washing machine while listener records and nazir watches*

astrid: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.

(doesnt really make sense, but if it were a modern au? 👌)

----

cicero: What’s sexting?

astrid: I'm not having this conversation with you.

----

arnbjorn: Would you rather kill cicero, or—

astrid: Yes, kill them.

arnbjorn: I didn’t say the other thing—

astrid: I don’t need to hear it.

cicero: …I’m feeling a little unsafe.

----

cicero: *writing a letter*

cicero: Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...

And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.

----

cicero: And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.

----

nazir, to the rest of the brotherhood: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you’re doing it all wrong.

----

cicero: If you see me talking to myself, go away! I’m self-employed and we’re having a staff meeting!

----

listner: That shirt looks great, astrid.

astrid: Thanks.

listner: But I bet it would look even better on arnbjorn's floor.

arnbjorn: Are you hitting on astrid... for me?

----

nazir, handing out popsicles: Which flavor do you want?

babette: Blue flavor!

nazir: Uh, you mean Blue Raspberry?

babette: Blue flavor! Blue flavor!

nazir: Blue is not a flavor!

babette: BLUE FLAVOR!

----

astrid: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly.

arnbjorn, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

----

listener: Nice rock.

cicero: Thanks, nazir gave it to me.

nazir: I threw it at you!

cicero: Aren't they the sweetest?

----

nazir, to cicero: All right, let’s tell each other a secret about ourselves. I’m going to go first– I hate you.

----

nazir: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done.

astrid: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real.

nazir: They're not.

astrid: Haha, very funny.

nazir: I'm serious. Didn't you hear?

astrid: No... what happened?

nazir: ...Why would you fall for this again-

(nazir is a girlboss)

----

listner: I was put on this earth to do one thing.

listner(LDB): Luckily I forgot what it was so I can do whatever I want.

----

nazir: Okay, what does A stand for?

babette: Arson.

nazir: Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for?

babette: Barson.

astrid: *laughter*

nazir: What stands for C?

babette: Commit arson.

astrid: Oooo. nazir: D!

babette: Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson.

astrid: *more laughter*

----

nazir: I just heard babette call the dog a “fucking liar” because he barked like someone was at the door and no one was there.

(By the dog he means arnbjorn/j)

----

*cicero is comforting arnbjorn*

cicero: Stop crying because it’s over. Start smiling because astrid is someone else’s problem now.

----

listner: Hey, cicero, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?

cicero: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.

listner: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?

cicero: Can't really say I have.

listner: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.

cicero: Sorry, listner. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

[q-gorgeous]

Maybe ghosts aren’t the real monsters after all

fanfiction

ao3

word count: 1123

"The date started off so well, beginning my night not expecting the fright of my life. They were perfect from what I could tell. How could I not see the danger right in front of me-" (dark ages preferred but please go hog wild with other ships that would be hilarious/fun to write this with!) @kawaiijohn

i watched an episode to include a line in here then realized i couldnt actually include that line or it wouldnt work jknhbgf

Valerie smiled at Danny as he sat down in the chair across from her. She was glad they could finally make this work. She no longer needed to work two jobs to help her dad pay rent, not with his new job. So she kept her cashier job at the Nasty Burger and dumped the other one. Now she only had to worry about one job, school, and hunting ghosts. 

She remembered that she broke up with him because she didn’t want to put him in danger. She remembered how Phantom targeted her that one day. Well, not her. It was her suit. But he didn’t know that. For all she knew, he was out there trying to murder her that day. 

But looking at Danny now was enough to put those worries out of her head. It’s not like the ghosts had an issue with him. It was just her. And his parents. But the ghosts could care less about his parents. They barely paid her any mind. It would be fine. They wouldn’t hurt him. 

Ghosts were the last thing she wanted to be thinking about anyway. Especially when she had what she was convinced to be the love of her life sitting right in front of her. Ghosts could wait for the time being. 

They were at a nice restaurant. It was nothing fancy, affordable enough for two teenagers. It was better than the Nasty Burger, though. She appreciated it. 

A waiter walked up to them. “Hi guys, I’m Clara and I’ll be your server today! Can I get you started off with some drinks?”

“Yeah!” Danny said. “Can I get a Pepsi?”

“You bet!” Clara wrote it down and turned to Valerie. “What can I get for you?” 

“I’ll take a Sprite.”

“Okay.” Clara jotted that down as well. “I’ll go get those for you and give you some time to look at the menu.”

“Thanks.”

“Thank you.”

“What do you think looks good?” Danny asked shyly. “I’ve never actually been here before.”

“Well, they’ve got a big pasta section. Everyone loves noodles.”

Danny nodded, flipping to a new page in the menu and studying it. “I do love noodles.”

They looked at their menus for a couple minutes, keeping their conversation light. Soon Clara came back with their drinks and took their orders. They continued to talk while they waited for their food. 

Valerie laughed. “How did you get Dash to do that? He’d never!” 

“He’d never back down from a challenge. It’s all about how you play it up. If you make it sound like he’s a wuss for not doing something he’ll take the bait.”

Then Clara was returning, a tray of food resting on one of her hands. “Here we go! Shrimp and broccoli fettuccine alfredo for you.” She placed the plate down in front of Danny. “And smoked salmon for the lady.” 

“Thank you!” Valerie said. “It looks delicious.”

“I hope you enjoy-” Clara cut herself off with a scream, looking up past Valerie. She turned around to see the Lunch Lady ghost floating behind her. 

So much for the ghosts waiting. 

“Come on!” Danny groaned. “I won’t even get to eat my food!” 

“This restaurant will rue the day that it broke healthcode violations!” 

Danny made a face up at the ghost. “At least she has a good reason this time I guess?”

“Get down!” Valerie grabbed his shirt from across the table and pulled him down with her so they could hide underneath it. She needed to get Danny out of here so he’d be safe. And so she could transform. She wished he knew her secret, that would make this much easier. Almost everyone else had already ran out of the building by now. There’d be no one else to see. 

“Watch out!” 

Valerie had been distracted trying to find a way out that she didn’t notice the floating knives pointing at her. She watched as they started flying through the air towards her but then she was being shoved out of the way. She landed on the ground a couple feet away and wrenched her gaze towards the spot Danny had pushed her out of. Had he been hurt?

He stood there, the knives embedded into the wooden floor behind him. 

How did he do that? He couldn’t have dodged those.

“Sorry, Valerie.”

What did he need to apologize for? He just saved her! She should be the one apologizing to-

Valerie’s train of thought stopped as two bright rings appeared around his waist. 

She watched them split and separate. They traveled along his body, passing over his head and his feet. Left in Danny’s place was Phantom. 

He sprung up and started fighting the Lunch Lady. Valerie could only watch in a daze. 

The disguise was so perfect. She couldn’t even tell that that wasn’t Danny. How could she not have seen the dangerous ghost that had been sitting right in front of her?

She watched him grab the thermos that now always hung by his waist and trapped the Lunch Lady inside it. He touched back down on the ground. When he turned to face her, Valerie socked him in the face.

“Ow!” Phantom shouted, holding his jaw. “What was that for?”

She activated her suit and transformed. Pulling out a gun, she aimed it at him.

“Where is he?” She asked lowly.

“Where is who?” He looked confused. His facade made her angry.

“Danny Fenton!” She yelled. “What did you do to him? Did you hurt him to get to me?”

“What? No, Valerie. I’m-”

“How long?” She asked. “How long have you been toying with my feelings? Playing this game? Where did the real Danny go?”

“There is no real Danny!” He stood back up and looked at her. “There’s only one! Me! I’ve been Danny and Phantom this whole time!”

She shook her gun at him. “Oh yeah? How do you explain destroying my suit?”

“You weren’t in it.”

“You ruined my life!” She threw her hands into the air. “You’ve made it a living hell! My dad lost his job all because of you! Danny would never do that!”

His hands raised up to his head and grabbed his hair tightly. He looked back at her. “It was an accident! How many times do I have to tell you that?”

“Why should I believe anything you say if you’ve been lying to me this whole time anyways?”

Their silence weighed heavily on them. He didn’t say anything to that. He looked away from her.

“Maybe ghosts aren’t the real monsters after all.”

His head shot back up at her quiet words. 

“Valerie, wait-”

“No.” She turned away from him. “I need to be alone.”