#happy friday or saturday depending on where you are!!

[ghost-proofbaby]

twenty four hours (modern!eddie munson x fem!reader)

HOUR ONE

in which eddie munson and you absolutely hate each other's guts. what happens when your friends make a bet that you can't spend more than twenty four hours consecutively together?

→ tropes: enemies to lovers, forced proximity, slow burn

→ warnings: strong language, eventual smut, upside down does not exist, minors dni, excessive use of pet names (to annoy reader), excessive use of fuck (again, to annoy reader)

→ pairings: modern!college!eddie x college!fem!reader

→ wc: 3.1k+

masterlist.

spotify playlist.

◁ previous part, next part▷

1:00 ─ㅇ───────────────── 24:00

HOUR ONE - 4:00 PM

You had a lot of regrets. You were a college student – it was hardwired in your psyche to make an endless stream of stupid decisions you would come to rue. 

There was that time you signed up for an 8 AM math class during your freshman year. There was the time your boss walked in on you spitefully gossiping specifically about him and his lack of leadership skills (you had been fired the next week, no surprise). There was that time Steve Harrington convinced you to get matching tattoos with him while drunk last summer, and now you had to explain to each new person you met why you had a ghost giving a thumbs down with a speech bubble stating ‘BOO’ on your ankle. 

You had made plenty of dumb mistakes, enough to last you a lifetime. 

But this? This had to take the trophy home for your worst impulsive decision yet. 

“I’m not going in there,” you huff, crossing your arms as you lean miserably against the wall across from the open door of apartment 2C. An apartment you’d avoided ardently over the last year. To the point of even braving severe FOMO after turning down hanging out with your friends, solely because they’d be hanging out here. 

“C’mon,” Steve stands in the threshold, waiting impatiently for your tantrum to end. You had to hand it to him – he had a way of being beautifully tolerant of your misbehavior over the years. All your sour moods, all your childish antics, all your moody mornings. Steve was there for them all the last three years, “Five hundred dollars, remember? You just have to survive a day, and then you’ll be rich.” 

There it was – the only thing that could possibly motivate you to make such a catastrophic agreement with alcohol and drugs out of the equation. Money. 

It had taken nearly an hour for everyone to agree on the terms the night before when the bet was first born, but in the end, it seemed fair enough to all involved parties. The wager was five hundred dollars for you and five hundred dollars for Eddie if you two managed, partially funded by your friends pooling their money and partially funded by the Harrington Inheritance. The two of you would set base in Eddie’s apartment, considering you were living in the dorms, and you were instructed to send hourly proof to the group chat. A group chat, that ironically, Eddie was not a part of.

You’re not sure why. You never cared to ask. 

Regardless, five hundred dollars was a lot of money to a broke college student. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d managed to keep more than one hundred dollars in your account for more than a few hours. It was the kind of money that could pay for a few months’ worth of groceries, that would give you the freedom to properly go out rather than settle for another night in with movies your friend group had already seen ten times over. The kind of money you would probably flounder with once it was in your hand. 

“And if I don’t survive?” you sigh dramatically, leaning further into the wall, your bag you’d packed for your time growing heavier in your grasp, “What if, he, like, murders me, Steve?”

“He’s not going to murder you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“If he was going to, he already would have.” 

“I’ve never been around him long enough to give him a chance! What if that’s the only reason he agreed? What if this was his plan all along? He gets me alone for twenty four hours, I mysteriously disappear, and next thing you know, they find my body in the local canal-” 

“While I’m flattered you think so highly of me that I would be capable of planning something so extensively,” the devil himself appears behind Steve’s shoulder, looking to be just as irritated as you, “Harrington’s right. If I wanted you dead, you’d be dead by now.” 

“Right. Cause that’s reassuring,” you snap in Eddie’s direction. 

Steve takes a deep breath, no doubt mentally preparing himself for whatever bickering is about to ensue as he sidesteps so he’s not stuck in the middle of your line of fire. 

“Listen, are we doing this or not? Because if not, I’ve got shit to do,” Eddie glowers at you, tapping his foot impatiently. 

You hate him. You really, really hate him. In the most earnest sense of the word. He was impossible, he was cocky, he was obnoxious. And it never helped that he hated you just as much, always adding fuel to the fire. From the moment the two of you had met, it was instant friction. You said go, he said stop. You wanted pizza, he wanted Chinese. Every time a small, mundane decision had to be made as a group, he’d be sure to announce his opinion, always the opposite of yours. 

You’re convinced he solely exists to be the bane of your existence. It’s probably the best part of his day. 

“Five hundred dollars,” you mutter under your breath, finally lifting your bag and leaving your spot against the wall. It was now or never. If you didn’t get this over with now, you’d walk away and be army-crawling financially through life again. You needed the five hundred dollars more than you care to admit. 

It had to be worth it. It had to be. 

The moment you enter the apartment, you’re hit with the scent of him. Something musky, something of subtle spice. It’s all tobacco and pot, cheap cologne and boy. It’s easily overwhelming, and you almost turn around to make a cheap shot at Eddie regarding it before Steve shuts the front door and engages him into conversation. 

Maybe you’d get used to it within the first few hours. 

The rest of the apartment is decorated exactly how you’d expect from Eddie. There’s a certain messy quality to it all without being dirty. The couch looks worn, probably having not been brand new to begin with when Eddie found or bought it. There’s a coffee table covered in random papers, joined by two empty beer bottles and a couple of random dice. He has a TV, albeit small, and the entertainment center that it stands upon is littered by various nerdy collector’s items. 

“Welcome to my palace,” he calls out from behind you, no longer distracted by Steve, “Sorry if it’s not up to your standards.” 

“It’s fine,” you gruffly reply, turning back around to look at him, “Where, uh, can I put my things?” 

The wicked grin that slowly spreads over his face can only spell out bad news, “Wherever. You’ll be sleeping on the couch.” 

“Dude,” Steve sighs. 

“What? It’s a one bedroom apartment, and I’m not giving her my bed,” Eddie explains as he brushes past the two of you and heads for his kitchen. 

If it were anyone else, you’d insist that it’s fine. Practicality tells you that he shouldn’t have to give up his bed. It’s his apartment, his room, his bed – in short, his rules. But it’s Eddie, so the fact that he’s made this decision without you only stokes the burning coals of disdain. Plus, the couch looked like the farthest thing from comfortable. 

“Whatever,” you scoff. You weren’t going to let him know he was already creeping beneath your skin. You were playing the long game here; you were going to start off civil, keep track of just how many offenses he committed against you, and then strike back. “It’s just one night. I’ll live.” 

“Unless I murder you!” his voice calls out to you and Steve from the kitchen. 

“Unless he murders me,” you agree with a scowl. 

Steve puts a caring hand on your shoulder, forcing a frown that’s completely insincere before he says, “What do you want on your gravestone? Also, what’s your preference for flowers at your funeral?” He breaks into laughter as you smack him roughly on his shoulder, “Sorry! Sorry, geez. Just want to have all my ducks in the row. I’ll be sure to ask him the same thing.”

Part of you is absolutely convinced this can only end in bloodshed. You can’t recall a single time you and Eddie have lasted more than ten minutes in a room together without escalating into a full blown screaming match. There was even a time you’d thrown a glass at him at one of Steve’s parties, narrowly missing his head as he’d ducked and let the glass shatter against the wall of the shared apartment with Robin.  You’d felt awful remorse towards Steve in the end. As for Eddie? You’d only wished your aim had been better. 

Steve disappears into the kitchen and you’re left alone once more, wandering as you inspect some of the collectibles more closely by the TV. Most items were from the Lord of the Rings franchise, a few Star Wars items, and an abundance of D&D figurines. All things that you went through phases of piqued interest for, but nothing terribly exciting. They had been just that – phases. Apparently, when it came to Eddie, such things didn’t exist. The apartment really just looked as if someone had taken a teenage boy’s room, and let it explode over more extensive square footage. As if he entered the typical phases for boys his age in high school, and never grew up.

Just as you reach out to grab one of the D&D figurines, a three-headed dragon, Eddie enters the living room with Steve at his side.

“Hey! Don’t fucking touch that!” Eddie shouts, making you jump back, finger no longer hovering over his glorified action figure. 

“Jesus Christ!” you shout back just as loudly, glaring up at him, “Ever heard of an inside voice?” 

He completely ignores the comment as his nostrils flare and he stands between you and the entertainment center, “We need to set some ground rules. Rule one, do not touch my shit, especially this stuff. They’re collectibles, fucking rare and crazy expensive. Keep your hands to yourself, princess.” 

The nickname is a match, striking against the roughness of your hatred, ready to burst into the flames of one of the classic screaming matches between the two of you. Steve can see it clear as day.

He clears his throat immediately, “Alright, alright. Calm down, children,” you open your mouth to argue against that nickname, but he doesn't leave pause for you to interject, “I’m leaving now. I know we joked about you two killing each other but…. Just, please don’t? It’s not worth it. Think of the money.” 

Eddie’s jaw clenches, his eyes unmoving from you as you muster up just as hateful of a glare. 

“Hey! Are you two listening to me?” he claps his hands, and the staring contest ends as you both reluctantly offer him your attention, “I’m serious. Who knows? Maybe you two can come out of this friends.”

Friends. The mere idea makes you cackle cruelly, Eddie balking immediately. 

“As if,” you sneer as Eddie spits, “Over my dead body.” 

Steve simply shrugs, “You say that now. We’ll see what changes over the next twenty four hours.” 

Nothing, you want to say. Nothing is going to change over the next twenty four hours, except I’ll be five hundred dollars richer. 

You join Eddie in walking Steve back to the door, even though you technically don’t have to because, technically, it’s not your apartment. But it’s still the polite thing to do, and Steve is still your friend, so you do. 

Eddie opens the door, and you stand a few steps away from them, shifting back and forth on your feet awkwardly. Steve pauses to check the watch on his wrist before turning and facing the two of you a final time.

“Alright, so, it’s currently four-fifteen. That means you-” he pauses and points directly to you, “-need to send proof of you both being alive, well, and still together at five-fifteen. You guys can leave the apartment, but you have to go with each other, and you can’t ditch each other wherever you might end up going. Capiche?” 

“Capiche,” you answer in monotone, Eddie not saying a word. 

“Good. Oh, by the way,” Steve already has one foot out the door, and you know it’s deliberate. Whatever he’s about to say, you’re not going to be happy about, “Expect randomized calls from all of us throughout it all. Including through the night. Cool? Cool! See you guys tomorrow, and keep your phones charged!” 

Both you and Eddie are already attempting to argue, immediately upset by this detail that was kept from both of you, but Steve is already jogging down the hallway, away from the chaotic outburst. 

“What the fuck?” Eddie says in annoyance, his face twisted terribly, “I didn’t agree to be babysat during this. I just want my fucking money.” 

Even though you were also seething at the additional rule, you opt instead to make a comment to get under Eddie’s skin rather than complain in agreement. “I think you forgot an F-bomb somewhere in there.” 

“Oh?” he turns to you, letting the door slam shut as he swings his arm, “My fucking bad. I fucking guess I should fucking watch my fucking language, yeah? Fucking oops.” 

“Has anyone told you you’re fucking annoying?” you ask in contempt. 

“Yeah. You.” 

He stalks away from his entry way at that, clearly pleased at getting the last word in this argument. And it nearly kills you, because you have no choice but to follow him back into his living room.

It’s going to be a long twenty four hours. 

He’s clearly heading towards the couch to sit down, and you can’t fathom staying in close proximity for another moment, so you begin to veer towards the kitchen. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asks suddenly once your back is turned to him. 

“The kitchen?” you glance over your shoulder, lifting an eyebrow, “Or is that not allowed?” 

“Why are you going to the kitchen?” 

“Why do you care?” 

“Because it’s my fucking apartment.” 

Right. He has a point. You won’t tell him that, but he has a point. 

He’s rerouted himself from the couch towards the hallway you’re about to enter, towering over you as his lips settle into a predictable frown. 

“Can you go more than ten seconds without dropping an F-bomb? Seriously,” you question, crossing your arms, “I just want water or something. Is that a crime?” 

“To answer your first question,” he shifts around your body in the tight space, his hand brushing your hip. Both of you jump back at the contact as if even touching each other burns, “No. I fucking can’t. Not when I know it bothers you so much, sweetheart,” he’s once again using a nickname he knows will irritate you on purpose as he walks into what you assume the kitchen is. And once again, you’re following behind him like a lost puppy, having to swallow your pride like a jagged pill, “Secondly, one of my rules is to not touch my shit, so… Yeah. It is a crime by the law of the land.” 

“Law of the land?” you snort, rolling your eyes, “My God. What are you going to do? Call the police? ‘Hello, yes, 911? I’d like to report a crime. A girl I voluntarily let into my home got herself a glass of water.’” 

You choose to purposefully pitch your voice higher rather than lower as you clearly mock him. It gets the reaction you were seeking out - his entire body stiffens as he stops in front of a cabinet. 

“Congratulations,” he says slowly, turning at an agonizing pace to face you, “It’s a new record. It’s been less than five minutes alone, and you’ve already gotten on my fucking nerves.”

“Good,” is all you can reply. 

He huffs in response before he goes back to whatever he was doing before, opening the cabinet to expose a small assortment of glasses and mugs alike. None of them match – all of them were clearly either bought at different times, or gifts, in the mugs case. They’re the type you might find at Spencer’s, all pop culture references or character faces. He grabs one of the smaller, plain clear cups, turning around to hand it to you. 

Before your hand can wrap around it, he yanks it back momentarily, “Now, if you decide to throw this cup at my head like a raging bitch, it’s plastic. Minimal damage. Keep that in mind, yeah?” 

Once he’s gotten in his smart-ass remark, he lets you take the cup from him. 

So he’s also thinking of Steve’s party. Good to know. 

“That’s fine. I’ve practiced my throws since then. I’m aiming for your crotch next time.” 

If you two were friends, it might be funny. You would have said it in light-hearted cadence, he would have thrown his head back in laughter, and it could be passed off as a simple inside joke between two acquaintances. But you aren’t friends, and you say it in a convincingly serious tone, and he doesn’t even smile.  

“You can get water from the fridge,” he informs you flatly, “Try not to break it.”

“It’s a fridge that dispenses water. I know how it works, asshole. I’ve used one before.” 

“You never know,” he shrugs. You expect him to walk away, to leave you to it, but instead he leans against his counter and watches you. 

And he thought he was the one being babysat over simple phone calls? 

You choose to bite your tongue for once as you fill the cup half full of water, taking your time as you sip some down, feeling his eyes on you the entire time. 

It’s only been a few seconds of silence. Blissful, wonderful, divine silence. But of course, it’s Eddie, and the moment he notices you begin to relax, he has to speak up and ruin it. 

“If I knew all it takes to shut you up is to keep your mouth occupied, sweetheart, I would have done it sooner,” he comments, and it takes practiced patience to slowly lower the cup and swallow what water is in your mouth without bursting with rage. But he has to comment on even that, “Aw, and you swallow? Just full of surprises, aren’t ya?” 

You turn to him, face flooding a brilliant shade of red as your eyes narrow. In the most virulent tone you can muster, you only respond with, “I hate your guts.” 

He grins. It’s not friendly – it’s downright bellicose. “The feeling’s mutual.” 

Yeah. It’s going to be a very long twenty four hours. 

[ancientstone]

As we enter the Retail Hell time of year, I thought I would put together a list of ways you can help retail workers and make their lives a little easier.

1. Not interested? Leave it be!

People are great at telling kids this (looking no touching!), but adults do not lead by example. This isn't to say you can't pick things up unless you're 100% certain you're going to buy it, but I don't think people realise how much they browse with their hands. I very often watch customers walk around absently picking at things with no real interest.

Trying not to do this means workers aren't constantly having to straighten out displays, as messy displays indicate a messy shop, which puts buyers off, meaning it's drilled into us to keep the place clean. It also means at the end of the day there is less to do so we can go home quicker.

2. Don't grab the one in the middle

If there is something hanging up or on the shelf, and you're curious what the item looks like, take the one off the end. It is so much easier to put back neatly. Taking something from the middle usually means (especially with clothes) that it doesn't go back in properly without a lot of faffing, which most people can't be bothered to do and leave for workers to sort out.

3. Put it back where it came from (or ask!)

You would be horrified at how people leave changing rooms. I've seen clothes screwed up on the floor, flung over random rails, and have even found a bikini sanitary sticker stuck to the mirror.

If you can remember where something goes and you are able to do so, please put it back. Even if it's not entirely correct, I promise it's a thousand times easier for me to mildly adjust something than it is to walk out the changing room with a giant armful of clothes or stomp across the store because it got abandoned in a random spot.

If you don't remember where it came from, please ask! We can direct you! More often, you'll probably find retail workers offer to take it back for you - please take this offer! It means we can put it straight back exactly as it needs to be, and saves us a tidying job later. If you need help to put something back (e.g. you're in a wheelchair and can't reach), again ask and we will be happy to help!

4. Be Patient

It's a busy time of year and that can often mean workers are stretched thin. Please queue patiently at the tills. Please understand we can only go so fast. Please don't interrupt if we are clearly helping someone else. Ultimately, please remember that we are human too and have worked long hours multiple days in a row.

5. Check closing times

A lot of people feel that they can come in and start browsing five minutes from closing time. How this is handled will vary from store to store, but coming in at this time often means people messing up what we just tidied and stops us from going home.

Also, a lot of shops will do their cashing up in the last hour, especially near the end. Once the cashing up is done, cash payments are not likely to be accepted. If you are going to do last minute shopping before closing time, bring your cards with you.

6. Be Black Friday/Saturday savvy

I'm not in the US and I can't say this is true for every store, but for some Black Friday is treated as the midwinter sale. Again, I can't speak for everyone, but where I work we will be in Black Friday prices at least a week beforehand, if not longer.

Repricing takes time, often multiple days depending on how much stock there is to get through, and unless a brand forks out for their staff to do discounting the night before after closing time, there's a good chance that prices will be down earlier than that. The Thursday is probably a good bet.

Also, on these days it gets very busy very quickly. If you're adamant to do Black Friday shopping in person, be prepared to get there early. Of the two days, Friday will be the quietest as there will still be people working, but the Saturday will be manic.

7. Give your kids headphones

If you plan to either give or use a device to occupy your child at some point during your shopping trip, even if it's just offering them your own phone, for the love of god buy some kiddie wireless headphones.

This is included for the white noise as well. Because holy hell, people do not understand volume control. I have been one side of the store and able to hear every word of Peppa Pig coming from the other side. It disturbs the entire shop, and is especially frustrating when these customers spend a long time in the store, because we, the retail workers who cannot escape, have to listen to nursery rhymes and stormy rain noises and whatever else for however long it takes for things to be browsed, tried on, discussed, and bought.

We hate it when people play tiktoks in public. Also hate cocomelon in public.

8. Understand why your children are bored and misbehaving

Parents do not realise how awful shopping is for kids.

You are going to different stores, but cannot pick which ones you go into. Your parents are touching things, but you cannot touch them. Your parents are buying things, but you can't have anything. Stay still in this spot with nothing to do. Don't move away. Follow me exactly. Be quiet. Don't be hungry, thirsty, or need the toilet.

The result? Misbehavior and embarrassed, flustered parents! Rinse and repeat several times and now shopping is the Dreaded Activity that parents hate (feel judged, feel like bad parents) and kids loathe (get told off, nothing nice happens)

Suggestion: Give them a list of things to find (a pink jacket, black shoes with laces, a bag of pasta, a purple notebook), ask for their input (do you think Uncle James would wear something like this?), let them safely explore a little (can you go up this aisle and get the flour?), give them the bag to hold, literally think of anything to engage your kid! And understand that if you are out all day, then they are probably getting tired! Have regular breaks! Let them rest!

When kids are wound up, bored, and under-stimulated, they seek things out to do. In my store, that usually manifests in them climbing onto the displays where the mannequins are. I always have to step in (risking the wrath of parents who don't like their children being told off), because this is not safe. There are a lot things that can hurt kids in shops. You will find companies cheap out when fitting stores, resulting in things not being made to withstand the weight of a six-year-old.

Stands are wobbly. Rails will tip over. Here in the UK, a boy was literally killed when a mirror fell on him. By figuring out ways to help keep your kid engaged and happy, you reduce the likelihood of them misbehaving and potentially getting hurt.

What a happy note to end on...

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. Fellow retail survivors, feel free to add with more advise!

[ladykailitha]

December Schedule

Hello! So it is that lovely time of year again when it starts to get colder and people start putting out Christmas decorations. And I write Christmas fics.

I wasn't sure I was going to do one, but Dragon Slayer is getting to the point where I can't share what I'm writing (it's VERY spoiler-y), so because I don't like only having three stories on WIP Wednesday, I am doing a couple of different things.

The first is cutting back to the usual four days a week posting schedule. This almost daily has been stressful for me, but I had so much backlogged, it needed to be rushed out in a gush for a bit and then back to it's normal flow.

Then next week, Of Butterflies and Backstrokes will release the rest of its story on Sunday, Monday and Friday with Caged Bird as usual on Saturday so that all my completed works will be out before Dec.

The reason for this is because I am planning two holiday events for you.

The first is the (fingers crossed) eight part Christmas long fic (name to be decided): Steve Harrington hates Christmas. Well, maybe hate is too strong a word. All his life it's been nothing but fake everything; even the smiles. Well, all except the tree. That's always real. This year, his dad's company is going the 'rent-a-tree' route and needs three of them for the office. There he meets Eddie, who with the little help of the Party and the magic of Christmas, teaches Steve what Christmas really means.

I will start posting it on December 1st. Then depending on how many chapters it takes, I'll either double up, releasing two a week or I will come up with some other schedule taking into account how many there are.

Then on the 11th, a special Twelve AUs of Christmas snippet. You'll send in a number between 1-12 and I'll write a little bit from an AU list that I want to do Christmas stories for but don't have ideas for full fics.

Plus, I have some trouble doing the whole short thing. So the goal is no more than 1500 words per AU. And if the number you ask for is completed, then I pick a different one. Then from the 12th to the 24th, I will release a Christmas snippet like an Advent calendar.

There will be no WIP Wednesday on the 25th due to it being Christmas day, but I will be back on 1st to spread some more holiday cheer.

As for the other stories Spellbound (Himbo Witch) and Dragon Slayer will alternate on Mondays, with The Au Pair Boy (Nanny) on Fridays, and Caged Bird on Saturdays as per usual.

Then when December is over with, Dragon Slayer will move the Sunday slot.

Happy Holidays everyone!!!

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Catch and Release

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam

Summary: AU where Jason doesn’t die in the explosion and he and Tim end up attending the same high school months later.

Chapters: 17/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon, Sebastian Ives, Jack Drake, Janet Drake, Donna Troy

Relationships: TBA

Additional Tag: Jason Todd Lives, Jason Todd-centric, POV Jason Todd, POV First Person, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake is Not Robin, Jason Todd is Not Robin (Anymore), Bruce Wayne Needs a Hug, Alfred Pennyworth is the Best, Alfred Pennyworth Knows, Stalker Tim Drake, Jason Todd Has Chronic Pain, Jason Todd Has PTSD, Angst with a Happy Ending, Unlikely Friends, Injury Recovery, Emotional Baggage, Rage, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Communicating

Chapter Seventeen: The Campaign: Malatra Pt. 1

Tim slept in his bed one last time while I packed our things. My phone rang, and I answered to keep from waking Tim up. “Hello?” I whispered. 

“Jason, I heard about your friend’s mother—.”

“You don’t have to say anything… Um, Barbara, can I ask you for a favor?” I interrupted. 

“I don’t know. It depends… Is it illegal?” Barbara asked. 

“No. It’s—. I need you to help me get back in fighting shape. I know Bruce won’t change his mind because I can throw a couple of solid punches, but I’ve gotta do this for myself. I need to know I didn’t let the accident beat me,” I explained. I told her as much of the truth as I could. 

“Jason… Wednesday through Friday after school. No excuses,” Barbara replied. I grinned. 

“I’ll be there. I promise,” I whispered, “Thank you. Thank you, Barbara. You’re the best.” Barbara was a tough person to move. She wasn’t emotionally driven or faint of heart. Barbara was sharp and efficient. Practical and poised. She was everything I needed in a teacher. 

“ Yeah, yeah, yeah. See how you feel about me after our first training session. Bye, Jason… And good on you for getting back up. I thought about what I said to you the last time we talked. I was wrong to tell you that you were being childish. If taking this time away from home was good for your mental health, who am I to tell you—?”

“Barbara, I am a kid. I never said I wasn’t. I was pissed off and closed in, and I reacted. I was in a dark place, and I’d be lying if I said I wanted to go home now… I know it’s what I have to do. I’m gonna be mature about it, for Tim’s sake,” I replied, “I’ve gotta finish packing… But, um—. Thank you, Barbara.” 

“Don’t thank me yet, Boy Wonder. See you Wednesday,” Barbara teased. She hung up, and I shook Tim awake. 

He pushed my face away and laughed. “ Uggghhh. Jason, what are you doing?” Tim asked. 

“She’s gonna train me. Wednesday through Friday, so we’ll condition Saturday through Monday,” I replied. Tim grinned. 

“And on Tuesday ?” Tim half-joked. 

“Warlocks and Warriors,” I replied, “And—. Oh, Ives wants to come over tonight. I gave him Bruce’s address and said he could stay the night.” 

“Ives wanted to hang out? Does he—?” 

I nodded. “Ives knows, but I asked him not to mention it… Unless…” I trailed off. Tim shook his head. “Then, he won’t…” I tied labels to Tim’s chargers and tucked them into his suitcase. 

*

We went to the manor at sunset because I knew Bruce wouldn’t be there. Alfred seemed happy to see us again. Ives showed up an hour after we got there, and Alfred served dinner. “Hey, guys… Do you wanna do another campaign here this weekend?” I asked. 

Tim’s eyes widened. “You want to?” Tim questioned. I nodded. 

“That’d be sick,” Ives replied.  

“Cool. Tell the guys Tuesday we’ll hang out here,” I replied. Ives glanced at Tim and looked at his plate when he saw me looking. Tim was oblivious to everything going on in his life because of everything. 

“Jason should DM this one,” Tim suggested. I choked. “Come on. You can do it. I see how deep you get into character. And you’re the only person willing to indulge Hudson. Besides, I think the guys are still mad at me for what happened in Ravenloft.” 

“That was messed up. I can’t believe you killed Ives first and swapped him out with a Doppelganger. That was sick. And Ives… I’m shocked you let him go through with that,” I replied. 

Tim smiled. I reached for my bed to pull myself up, but I felt a shockwave shoot down my back into my legs, and I let go of the mattress. “Jason?” Tim asked. 

“I’m okay… But like—. Are you guys sure you want me to DM?” I questioned. 

“Yeah, definitely,” Ives replied, “You’ve gotta try it at least once. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to do it again, but you should give it a chance. You might be good.” 

*

"In the living forest lands of Malatra, all seems quiet. Suspiciously so. A warm breeze blows, rustling through the canopies overhead. Topiaries of smiling children surround a small fire. It is the only possible sign of life for several miles.  A song breaks through the near-silent forest. It starts low and guttural, like a collective groan, and then the ethereal choral collections of synchronized sobs. It is a song of mourning. A once-distant sound, now building as if it is approaching. The forest's dirt walkways slowly disappear under shrubs and bushes, and it seems like a trick to the eye at first, but no. You see it now. The bushes have feet where roots should be, and finally, a male voice breaks through the grieving chorus," I cleared my throat. "State your business," I bellowed. "He steps forward. A bamboo elf. His hair is a warm brown with the same red undertones of autumn leaves. He keeps his hair in wide and intricate waves and curls. His skin is an olivine green, and his eyes dark brown and ancient, study you. You all recognize this bamboo elf immediately, but before we get into that… you should introduce yourselves." A big, goofy grin spread across Tim's face. Silence fell over my room as I waited for someone to speak.

"You fucking killed it," Hudson mumbled in shock. I covered my smile. "Clay Everlake, earth genasi monk here. I'm stone grey, with bright green hair made of leaves, with the front pulled into a warrior's bun—."

"Man bun penalty!" everyone shouted.

"Is not! Anyway ... It's a warrior's bun, and the rest of my hair hangs leafy down my shoulders. I'm fairly young, rough and tumble, and trouble seems to follow me wherever I go," Hudson answered.

I gestured to Ives. "Eldrid Deepwood, here. I'm a firbolg druid... I uh—. I have bluish-green skin and dark eyes. My hair is whiteish-grey, luscious, and thick, almost mane-like. My ears are floppy... And uh—. And despite my advanced age, I'm a timid sort of fella," Ives stammered in an Irish accent.

I nodded and pointed to Hudman. "Fettar Keephorn. Dwarven rogue, dark beard, dark brown eyes.  My loyalties lie with Clay Everlake... Unfortunately," Hudman muttered in a dry voice. We all laughed. "I'm not much for words."

And Tim. I looked forward to Tim's character because we'd been pretty hush-hush about our plans all week, which meant we had nothing to discuss outside of training. "Posy Moonfall, gnome cleric here. I've got blond shoulder-length hair and grey eyes hidden behind foggy glasses. Well, they're usually quite—. I'm not used to being in the presence of a man of Mr. Deepwood's stature. I'm clumsy, but my intuitive nature makes up for my shortcomings... At least, I think—. Oh gosh. Am I rambling?" Tim replied in a woman's voice. He was surprisingly good at it. I almost forgot my place.

I cleared my throat before continuing. "Clay Everlake, your connection to this bamboo elf is deeply personal. Isn't it?" I asked, nodding at him. I liked Hudson. He always made me laugh and was my favorite of Tim's friends. He also tried to make me feel better about my scars by showing me the dent in his forehead. It wasn't the same, but he genuinely thought it was.

"He raised me. When my family was slaughtered on the outskirts of Malatra, he took me in and raised me. He's a father to me," Hudson answered. Hudson and I locked eyes, and I smiled down at my notes. "I didn't expect to see him under such grim circumstances."

"And Fettar?" I questioned.

"The elf and I… used to date,” Hudman replied. We all laughed.

“Fettar and Theren Everlake dated? You guys were—.” 

“A couple. Yep,” Hudman doubled down.

[former-leftist-jew]

i’m a little anxious to send this not on anon but i saw one of your posts where a comment mentioned jewish conversion and you seemed to support it. my boyfriend is jewish and i would like to convert to judaism but a lot of the research i’ve done says that you can’t convert, you have to be born into it since it’s an ethno-religion. i know everyone has different beliefs about this but i worry i won’t be accepted

Hello tyblackthornsheadphones, welcome!

"my boyfriend is jewish and i would like to convert to judaism"

Oooh! Mozel tov! I'm always so happy to meet new people who want to join the Jewish community! <3

"a lot of the research i’ve done says that you can’t convert, you have to be born into it since it’s an ethno-religion"

Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear that! D: There's so much misinformation being passed around online. :( Thankfully, I'm happy to report that those sources are incorrect: It IS possible to convert to Judaism. ^_^

Like any group, though, how friendly any given Jew is to potential Jewish converts depends on the individual and/or the group they belong in. Just as there's elitism and gatekeeping in every group of people ever (like high school cliques and video game circles--"you're not a REAL gamer unless X"), unfortunately you'll also find some snobbery, elitism, and gatekeeping in Judaism. :(

Though I think Rabbi Friedman has a very loving and accepting view of Jews by conversion. ^_^

The way I see it, the differing experiences of a "Jew-by-birth vs a Jew-by-conversion" can be comparable to an American citizen who was just born on American soil vs an American immigrant who had to go through a long and rigorous bureaucratic process to become an American citizen--they have to learn everything there is to know about American history, presidents, laws, customs, the legal system; spend a "probational period" living in America to become a naturalized citizen, etc.

(The Jewish religion used to be very conversion friendly, but that came to an end when Christianity and Islam became huge world powers who outlawed the Jewish community "tempting" good Christians or Muslims away from the One True Faith.

Jewish identity also used to be passed down from father to children in ancient times--as you'll see in the Torah--but that was changed by Hillel the Elder during the tyrannical reign of King Herod--yes, THAT King Herod! Hillel did this partly to give the children of Jewish mothers who were abandoned by their non-Jewish fathers a place in Jewish society, and he did this partly as a big old political "fuck you!" to King Herod, whose father was only nominally Jewish and his mother was a foreign gentile woman.)

Chabad is an Orthodox Jewish organization.

And here's a link from a Reform Judaism POV. ^_^

In my experience, Reform Jewish synagogues and organizations tend to be more accepting of and friendly to Jewish converts. (Though it's not universal! Sadly, there are snobs everywhere. D:)

So if I were you, I would just start with checking out some books on Judaism from your local library, attend Friday night or Saturday morning Shabbat services with your boyfriend (that's usually a time when non-Jewish guests attend).

If your local college has a Hillel or Chabad Jewish student organization, I would visit that too! They usually host fun events that are free and open to to all, especially students who're just interested in connecting with other Jewish students, and learning about Jewish identity. ^_^

In the meantime, I'd just take time to study and learn about Jewish history and culture just for fun.

I think Sam Aranow's "Jewish History" Youtube series is a very entertaining way to learn about Jewish history, from ancient to modern.

Unfortunately I have to go to work now, but if you have ANY other questions, please reach out to me! I LOVE sharing knowledge and resources about Judaism, especially to potential converts who show a genuine interest and curiosity.

(Jewish culture can be, in my opinion, not as accepting and welcoming of potential Jewish converts as they should be, and I want to make up the difference. ^_^ )

[wildflowerteas]

I HAVE BEEN FREED!!!!

oh.my.goodness.The exams I've been fretting over for almost two years are finally over, and I am just so happy I was able to reach my personal goal of reading TSP after they were done, and damn, it was so worth it!! TSP I HAVE FINALLY ARRIVED AT MY DESTINATION😆

...28,12 for the ask game.

Have a great day(or night)!

CONGRATULATIONS Oh my gosh!!!!!!!!! I know you were really stressing out about them and working super super hard I'm so proud of you. I hope they went well!! That post-exam emptiness feeling is so distinct, i hope you're filling it with lots of fun things and doing what you love now that you're free :) <3

Also I can't believe you jumped to TSP 😭 !!!!!!!!! I hope you enjoyed it >:) I'm starting my writing for the next chapter tomorrow and I'm super nervous about it.

28. On average, how much writing do you get done in a day?

That fully depends on where I'm at in my process. Back during spring semester, I'd sometimes get a whole chapter done friday/saturday, and spend the rest of my weekend editing. but as I got busier and busier, i averaged about 5k a day? maybe? ish? when I was especially swamped ( and i feel so bad about this ) it looked more like 0k Friday, 2k Saturday ( Saturdays are for chores and rotting in bed ) and getting like 7k done on Sunday between the hours of 5 am and 3 pm.

12. how does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

i don't really know, honestly. all of my original stuff--my poetry, ocs, and whatnot--i've kept pretty close to my chest and not shared them with other people so I'm not really used to getting support or feedback. I don't really know how i feel about feedback, especially unwarranted feedback, but the support I've gotten really means the world. it's made the experience of writing a lot less lonely, somehow

[theonethatyaks93]

A Discussion on Pinky's Sexuality/Gender (Day 3 of Pinky Week)

(Quick Note: Ahhh! Sorry about the delay on this! It's just that I've had a lot on my plate and with that new Pinky and The Brain trailer thing, I've been kind of stressed out. This is mostly because I've been trying to lower my expectations as far as they will go so I won't be disappointed or I'll be blown away. I just don't know what to think. Also, burnout is real. I'm making it all up this week, I promise!)

(Another note: I didn't expect this post to be delayed so much! Oh god! Anyways, the next few days will be a makeup week where I finally finish Pinky Week and get prepared for Brain Week coming up. This was supposed to come out last Wednesday, but I had absolutely no time! Also, I had to do a LOT of re-watching clips and research for this! Way more than I had thought. Sorry!!!)

Hi everyone and welcome to the third day of Pinky Week! For those who are just joining me, here's the gist of what's going on. Since there's going to be a new set of Pinky and The Brain shorts on Friday and Pinky's narfday was last Saturday, I decided to dedicate an entire week to talking about Pinky. Every day, I'll be making a new post about a different aspect of him, discussing things such as his character. I've already made a happy birthday and a more personal story about Pinky so go check those out. Ok, so let's begin today's discussion.

3/22/23 Discussing Pinky's Sexuality/Gender- Listen, most of this will just serve as possible headcanons/theories on events. I personally think that Pinky is pansexual and genderfluid; obviously not everyone will agree with me. This post is just a celebration on the things that I have noticed during the course of the reboot and spin-off series. I'll be tracing his evolution from loyal assistant to best friend to possible love interest for Brain. I will also be talking about how his gender identity transitioned from an interesting little joke to a realistic and admirable portrayal of a character who's not afraid to be himself. I am trying to cover as much ground as possible so let's give it a shot.

Pinky's Sexuality: Pansexual

What Does Being Pansexual Mean?: Pansexual can be defined as a romantic attraction to male, female, and nonbinary people; so basically, you like everyone. While seemingly not as common as being gay or bisexual, pansexual characters have been getting the respect and love they deserve.

Why Does Pinky Embody Pansexuality?: Pinky being pansexual has been tossed around as a kind of fan theory for a few years. Some people think that he's bisexual (like Brain) and some think he's just straight up gay (read below section for further information). However, I fall under the group that says he's pansexual because it fits his character the best. Pinky is the kind of mouse who would love just about everyone, no matter their gender or species. His kindness for anyone knows no bounds and though his heart gets constantly broken, he always gets back up again. Pinky is always determined to support Brain in everything he does, no matter how upset his friend makes him. His unbridled affection for Brain is honestly a pretty big giveaway to Pinky not being straight in the slightest.

Could Pinky be Just Gay?: This really depends on the person you ask. If you were a new fan of the series, only starting to watch during season 3 of the reboot, then yeah. Pinky is basically gay in those final ten episodes with him never mentioning a female love interest for the first time (I think) ever. It's insane. Also, he hints at his attraction to Brain in several ways such as dressing up alongside him in feminine clothing (he didn't have to do that) and even holding his hand tightly (much to Brain's surprise). He also does that little hand gesture at least five or six times and showcases his more extravagant personality. So, my conclusion is that if you were to only watch season 3 of the reboot then Pinky is nearly 100% gay. However, when you watch the rest of the franchise, this changes his sexuality to pansexual since he has a few female attractions earlier on.

Setting Things Up (Animaniacs 1993): Below is the first time Pinky gives Brain a compliment. It's from their debut episode "Win Big."

The first "gay stare" from the entire franchise in the episode "Where Rodents Dare."

Although we don't get too many Brinky moments from the earliest era of the mice's existence, we do get to see that even from the beginning, Pinky really cared for Brain in many ways. He gives his friend compliments, admires his work, and even tries his best to follow his plans, (though Pinky can get distracted easily). In "Win Big" Pinky gives a seemingly content reaction when Brain pulls him by the tail. "Where Rodents Dare" gives us the first official gay stare in the series, done by Pinky after Brain talks to him about the plan. Pinky is often seen acting in a very positive way around Brain, no matter what his friend says. While this was the point in the series where the two's relationship could only be seen as a partnership/acquaintanceship, Pinky still seems to call Brain his friends without hassle. Brain seems more reserved here and is often more brash when it comes to Pinky and his behavior.

Pinky Gets Flirty (Pinky and The Brain): Below is a screenshot from the infamous "colleague" line from episode "That Smarts"

Pinky doesn't know what to say to Brain on their "dinner date" in segment "Brain's Night Off."

This well-known frame from segment "Beach Blanket Brain" (which coincidently is paired with the previously mentioned segment).

A flirtatious line from "Brain Noir."

Pinky consoles a distraught Brain in episode "You'll Never Eat Food Pellets in This Town Again."

Pinky playing around with Brain from "Pinky's Plan."

Pinky in his adorable sweater from "Megalomaniacs Anonymous."

Pinky trying to save Brain from an avalanche in (one of my favorite episodes) "This Old Mouse."

Things began to escalate quickly after the mice got their own spin-off show. Pinky's more flirty tendencies and his relationship with Brain began to grow stronger and stronger. He showcases his feelings more often here as well. For example: when Brain calls Pinky his colleague, Pinky gets all giddy and he swoons a little. When Brain compliments Pinky after his mindless TV watching proves beneficial to the plan, Pinky tells Brain to stop it as Brain's making him feel all gooshy. This moment is complete with Pinky looking flustered and there's even a music swell to compliment the entire ordeal. Pinky is shown on multiple occasions to take great pleasure in flirting or teasing Brain, giggling often. His loyalty to his friend is also shown in excess. When Pinky sees that Brain is going to perish after an avalanche in episode "This Old Mouse", he goes all the way up north to find him. Pinky does manage to save Brain, not only proving his dedication to his companion, but convincing Brain that the future can in fact be changed. Pinky even says things like "I can't lose you again" and when Brain tries to get him to leave for his own safety, Pinky repeatedly denies doing so, wanting to save Brain. It's incredibly heart-warming. In episode "Broadway Malady" Pinky sings a song after he and Brain split-apart about how much he misses him (and Brain hears the entire song and begins crying!). Pinky even gets the entire world's supply of important musical critics to watch Brain's show, much to Brain's surprise. Pinky's dedication to Brain is admirable, and the bond the two share is precious in every single way. Pinky is always there to comfort Brain in his darkest hours. He also gives meaningful gifts to his best friend including the globe keychain from the Christmas episode. Even when Snowball tries to convince Pinky to join him, he remains loyal. Despite the many flaws in their relationship, Pinky truly believes that Brain is the most important mouse in his life and he would do anything for him.

Secret Intentions (Pinky, Elmyra, and The Brain): Below is a picture of Pinky staring at Brain from "The Girl with Nothing Extra."

Pinky imagining him and Brain as a married couple! This is from my favorite PEaTB episode "Pinky's Dream House."

Despite being poorly received by fans, Pinky, Elmyra, and The Brain gave us a few new, very obvious signs of Pinky's possible attraction to Brain. Though he has a gained a massive sassitiude, he still maintains most of his core character traits from the spin-off. The most obvious case of a romantic hint was in the segment "Pinky's Dream House." This gives us an extensive view at Pinky's desires, which include being a housewife to Brain and living a perfect life. He even goes on to sing a song about his dream (the song is really good and well written). This is one of the most ambiguously gay moments in the entire franchise; it's actually stunning that they managed to sneak this past network censors. Pinky wants this to happen, and it isn't a version of him that is female. It's just Pinky wanting to be a housewife to Brain in one of the sweetest segments from this mixed bag of a show. Pinky's wish does come true and he does get to live with Brain for a while, but it doesn't last. It's a darn shame too because it seemed like Brain was starting to enjoy this lifestyle as well. Aside from this, there are a few cute gay stares and a compliment or two on occasion. It's really admirable how Pinky's dream of being a housewife was taken very seriously, and that he still cares for Brain's needs no matter what.

A Troubling Conflict (the Brinky vs. Pinky x Phar Fignewton feud): Below is a picture of Pinky and Phar Fignewton (you get the idea of Brinky by this point).

Yeah, this was a thing. Back before the reboot was made and nearly everyone became a Brinky shipper, there was a small conflict within the fandom between two well-regarded ships. Brinky fans were just starting to migrate their way onto various internet platforms and the ship was gaining steam. However, there were a few people who stuck with the canon ship of Pinky x Phar Fignewton instead. Their reasoning was that the two were essentially "soulmates" with their designs being similar and their interactions all the more precious. For those who aren't aware, Phar Fignewton is a character that was introduced in the segment "Jockey for Position." She'd later appear as only a cameo in Pinky and The Brain segments "The Third Mouse" and "A Meticulous Analysis of History." She made her return in the movie Wakko's Wish, where she had a more extensive role as Pinky's love interest (or so we think). After this movie, she never appeared alongside the mice again, fading into the realm of obscure Animaniacs characters. A lot of people really liked this ship though and fanart made its way onto sites like DeviantArt. However, Pinky x Phar Fignewton fans would often denounce Brinky for interfering with their ship and Brinky fans would do the same to them. It was a giant mess. Unfortunately for the fans of the horse-mouse couple, their ship was laid to rest in non-canon during 2020 when the Animaniacs reboot came out, as she only appeared in a brief cameo. Pinky was now more focused on Brain and Brinky shippers rejoiced as the mice came close to being canon. Though many of us out there do ship Brinky, it's important to remember our fallen alternate ship and the cuteness it brought us. Brinky did win in the end, taking a lot of Pinky x Phar Fignewton shippers away from their previous ship and into a larger group of the fandom.

Put to the Side: (Reboot Season 1): Below is Pinky staring at Brain yet again from "Ex-Mousina" (I wanted to put the cute moment from "Future Brain" here but I think it's more suited to Brain rather than Pinky).

This adorable exchange from episode "Babysitter's Flub."

Here we are, the Animanics reboot. This is where Pinky's sexuality stops being questioned and instead becomes somewhat confirmed. Much to the delight of many people, Pinky's interactions with Brain become a lot less platonic as the series goes along; there are also less straight routes to fall down as well. However, things didn't kick into shape until later seasons. Cute Pinky and Brain moments were put to the side in exchange for focusing on re-introducing the mice to a modern audience in season one. There wasn't a complete non-existence as we got a few adorable stares and even a near-kiss (wait until we get to Brain Week to hear about that one!). The mice did have their fair share of gay scenes such as the X and O confusion bit from "Babysitter's Flub" and the ending of "Future Brain" where Pinky saves Brain from falling into a portal. Pinky's loyalty to Brain is stronger than ever, with Brain being the one that has to go through the test in his relationship with Pinky. Sure Pinky feels a twinge of jealousy when Brain essentially abandons him for a robot, but that ends up in complete disaster. While this season did a great job of re-establishing their relationship, Pinky's presence as a character had to be sacrificed. He barely has any major roles in these first segments, almost seeming like a side or background character at times. He still proves to have a close bond with Brain, always listening to his feelings and offering comfort. Luckily, better things were on the horizon.

New Developments: (Reboot Season 2): Below is a picture of an underrated embrace from "Narf Over Troubled Water."

An extremely popular moment from "Happy Narfday."

Pinky caught gay staring YET AGAIN in "Wakkiver Twist." (It never ends!)

Hand holding from episode "Narf Over Troubled Water." (This episode just has too many moments to count!)

This season managed to blow everyone's expectations out of the water. Not only did we get more undeniable moments of Pinky showcasing his possible feelings for Brain, but Brain seemed to recuperate those affections. Pinky was more used here, him having at least four times as many gay moments as he did in the previous season. He often lovingly gazes at Brain, gives him tight embraces, holds his hand, and even mentions attending a traffic light party and wearing yellow, seemingly implying that he doesn't entirely know what their is relationship at this point. The number of moments in season 2 that made people scream in delight are nearly impossible to count. Here are a few notable ones. In "Backwards Pinky", Pinky often makes vaguely flirtatious comments about Brain, to which Brain responds in annoyance. In "The Flawed Couple", Pinky is seen in the first pilot playing a housewife to Brain in a similar situation to "Pinky's Dream House." Pinky's loyalty to Brain comes full circle in "Run Pinky Run" where he would do anything to save his best friend. "Happy Narfday" probably has some of the most obvious interactions including Pinky calling Brain "darling", Pinky moving Brain around and holding his hand, and even an adorable hug at the segment's end. Pinky compliments Brain and makes pleasant statements to him in "Plight of Hand" and "Mouse Madness"; in the former, he even fights against his own hands in order to save Brain. "Narf Over Troubled Water" was probably the most famous episode when it came to Brinky moments. There was just so much to comprehend at once; it's extremely difficult to try and mark down it all. Pinky comforting Brain after he starts doubting himself, Pinky coming back for Brain after their split-up, and that ENTIRE ending sequence were the most noticeable. These moments were impactful to Pinky's character as they showed his displays of affection and kindness and that their co-dependent relationship was not only important but entirely necessary to the franchise.

Pinky's Sexuality Confirmed? (Reboot Season 3): Below is a picture of Pinky posing in a seductive manner while Brain watches in annoyance. From the segment "How The Brain Thieved Christmas."

A clip of Pinky kissing Brain from "Groundmouse Day!"

A picture of a picture of Pinky kissing Brain from "How to: Friendship."

Pinky holds Brain by the shoulders in an attempt to steady him. From "How The Brain Thieved Christmas."

Pinky after Brain mentions the current situation being "too romantic." He heavily implies that he thinks that he and Brain are also in a romantic situation. I'm not kidding! From segment "Royal Flush."

Pinky is so proud of Brain for taking over the world. From episode "Groundmouse Day."

Pinky touches Brain's image on the screen in an precious manner! From "How to: Friendship."

Pinky holds Brain's hand tightly after destroying AI Julia (the entire moment will be shown when we get to Brain Week!). From episode "All's Fair in Love and Door."

Season three had easily the most on-the-nose segments when it came to hints at Brinky. This is also the season that confirmed to a lot of people that Pinky was not straight. In fact, if you were only to watch this season and nothing else, Pinky could be considered gay. Not only does he never mention a female love interest but he seems to have taken his flirty and more romantic tendencies with Brain to another level. There is an intimate interaction between the mice in every single episode, whether it be settle or extremely suggestive and obvious. Pinky in particular starts to showcase his feelings in a more outrageous way. These moments are just precious. In the first few segments, Pinky is seen doing various things, including staring at Brain, rubbing his head when he gets stressed, touching Brain's image on a screen, envisioning Brain in the stars, making an adorable macaroni photo of him kissing Brain, implying that he thinks that he and Brain are having a romantic moment, relying on Brain to calm him down in a car, and resting his head on Brain's head. The second half of the season showcases Brain seemingly responding to these actions in a not so settle manner (at least from an audience perspective). From Pinky kissing Brain goodnight in one of the most hyped-up moments from the entire reboot to Pinky getting somewhat jealous and hurt when he sees that Brain was married to Julia in an alternate world, these precious scenes come in abundance. The final four episodes contain more development for Brain than Pinky, but they're still noteworthy. In "All's Fair in Love and Door", Pinky looks very surprised when Brain sacrifices himself to save Pinky from AI Julia. After Pinky saves Brain in the end, he even holds Brain's hand tightly, much to the latter's surprise. "How The Brain Thieves Christmas" was more of an exploration of Brain than Pinky, but the taller mouse has some fun moments. He poses "seductively" in front of Brain when modeling for the toy. Pinky gives Brain a meaningful gift: the thing he needed to take over the world. Pinky even says "love you!" to Brain in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment in the second part. The ending was also quite sweet with Pinky making a ton of gay stares and starting lots of embraces with Brain. In "International Mouse of Mystery", the whole song shows Pinky dropping essentially compliments towards his friend. Pinky also seemingly wants Brain to kiss him at one point, only for Brain to throw him away. Pinky is almost definitely at least some form of LGBTQ+ at this point, due to his relationship with Brain being very strong. Seeing these kinds of interactions between best friends, male best friends nonetheless, is interesting and unique. It makes their friendship/possible romantic relationship all the more special and this is why they have an extensive fanbase of people who really care for them.

Pinky is a Genderfluid Icon (An Overview from "Noah's Lark" to "International Mouse of Mystery"): Below is the very first time we see Pinky in a dress from segment "Noah's Lark" from the original Animaniacs.

Pinky in a dress inspired by the movie Gone With the Wind in episode "Brainie the Poo"

A collection of Pinky's many outfits from the Animaniacs reboot. These are from episodes "Mouse Congeniality", "Royal Flush", and "International Mouse of Mystery."

Pinky is honestly one of the most influential and important characters when it comes to gender identity and just being yourself, at least in the modern media. The running "joke" of him wearing dresses went from being a little gag in various episodes to being an actual part of his personality, revealing that it is something he enjoys quite a lot. And no one every belittles him for his decisions, especially Brain, who only gets annoyed with Pinky's actions rather than his appearance. In fact during some segments, Brain seems to have a reaction to Pinky's looks, especially in "Mouse Congeniality." While many characters characters have cross-dressed in old cartoon such as Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, they were usually to evade the capture of a foe. Pinky does this in a lot of plans, sometimes because he wants to, other times because it's necessary for the plan to work. He didn't have to dress up in "Royal Flush", but he chose to do so. That's amazing. He also doesn't dislike being referred to by she/her pronouns. At first, things didn't start out so revolutionary. Pinky's first time in a dress was in the Animaniacs segment "Noah's Lark." Rather than looking sophisticated, he looks like he's only wearing this as a disguise to go along with Brain's plan to sneak onto the ark. It's portrayed in a silly way, as if Pinky was forced to do this. He does this again in episode "Meet John Brain" when he tries to play the role of Brain's first lady. When the spin-off series was introduced, Pinky's feminine side was exposed in a more natural, less comical way. The dresses he wore were more elaborate, more colorful, and cuter. He'd be seen playing with lipstick in episode "Of Mouse and Man", showing that this was something he did for fun. After that, he can often be seen in dresses during various parody episodes, often playing the female character. He also posed as a female in episode "My Feldmans My Friends" alongside Brain as his spouse. However, in the song "The Really Great Dictator", Pinky is seen in a pink dress in what has become one of his most beloved appearances in dress. Not only does he not wear any makeup or wig for the very first time, but in the context of the song, Pinky didn't have to wear a dress at all. It was his personal decision, rather than one made by force. Despite wearing a ton of dresses, Pinky could rock the masculine wardrobe as well, being seen in suits, tuxedoes, sweaters, and swim trunks throughout the series. In Pinky, Elmyra, and The Brain, Pinky would add more outfits and looks to his collection including he (and Brain!) wearing lipstick and earrings, a Hansen inspired getup, and of course, the well-known headscarf and apron from "Pinky's Dream House" which was discussed earlier. Pinky in dresses would become a popular part of the fandom; however no one was prepared for the glory that would be given in the reboot, around 22 years after Pinky was last seen in feminine clothing.

The reboot would give us incredible moments when it came to Pinky as a character. He could finally be himself and showcase all his marvelous beauty. The first instance of Pinky in an outfit was in season 2 episode "The Flawed Couple" where Pinky is seen in typical housewife attire for a parody of the show The Honeymooners. His most iconic, popular, and recognizable dress was in the episode "Mouse Congeniality" where Pinky joins in a beauty pageant to help Brain in a plan for world domination. Pinky outfit here goes all out, even to the point where Brain is impressed with his work. Pinky is seen here in a blonde wig, has purple eye shadow, long eyelashes, lipstick, a pink dress with sash, long pink gloves, and high-heeled shoes. This is perhaps his most elaborate outfit to date, with him sporting a completely new and impressive appearance. He is also seen in a few alternate costumes including a bikini (finally!) and a baby costume (I don't know you guys). Pinky even manages to win the pageant, albeit not by vote. Him winning the pageant is a very heartfelt and genuinely happy moment. Pinky stating that he wanted to be the most beautiful human woman on the planet was so precious and sweet. It also offers a great look at Pinky, showing that cross-dressing is something he genuinely enjoys and wishes to do. Even though he doesn't wear another dress throughout the rest of the season, Pinky will sometimes randomly have eyelashes or act in a feminine manner. It's so adorable. In season 3, Pinky continues to push and break boundaries, blessing us with two new looks, though they are similar to his previous outfit in "Mouse Congeniality." In "Royal Flush", Pinky is wearing a red version of his previous dress along with purple long gloves, high heels, and another blonde wig. In a few scenes towards the beginning, Pinky has eyelashes. However as the segment continued along, those disappeared permanently, leaving him again without any makeup. He still looks incredible though. It's quite intriguing to see Pinky without makeup in a dress because that hasn't been seen since the 90's. His final outfit comes from the segment "International Mouse of Mystery", which has also gotten some attention after a frame from this cold-opening was leaked in early February 2023. This outfit contains elements of the previous two looks with Pinky wearing a red dress, though it's a darker shade, having dark purple eyeshadow, eyelashes, lipstick, high heels, and a red wig. It's really cute how he tries to play the Bond girl seen in a lot of spy films and he looks really good. Throughout, the entire song portion (Pinky has an angelic voice), Pinky is seen in his getup with Brain even "saving" him at one point. It's super cool that even though three different studious animated these episodes (Digital eMation, Titmouse, Saerom), the dresses and design remained consistent. Though it would've been nice to see Pinky get more dresses to wear, the ones he got proved to be good enough to leave an impact on the community. Every time Pinky is seen in a dress, he's treated with an enormous amount of respect and is showered with praise from all angles. He is a genderfluid icon, and can be inspiring to people in the ways he expresses himself in such a natural way. Even if this show is forgotten, there remains some hope that Pinky will be remembered as an important figure in the realm of gender identity and positivity.

Conclusion: Overall, Pinky exemplifies true greatness when it comes to representation in the LGBTQ+ community. Even though things started off in a nuanced manner, things began to become more obvious as the series went along. Pinky began to showcase his feminine side, wearing dresses and makeup for enjoyment. His apparent attraction to Brain becomes more exaggerated in the reboot. It's so wonderful to see this kind of character in our ever-changing world. Even though most of this involves things that haven't been outright confirmed, it's still important to look though all this change and growth. There are a lot of individuals out there who could and do latch onto Pinky, including myself. While he may seem like a surface-level mouse at first, if you take a deeper look, you may find that he's not as simple as he appears. I hope you took something from this, whether it be some random person on Tumblr charting Pinky's relationship with Brain and with his character growth, or a bit of information you never knew. I look forward to continuing Pinky Week in high spirits. I'll be focusing on specific moments of character development in the next three installments, so be prepared. Anyways, have a great day and/or night and I'll see you next time! Narf!

[rav-rabies-art-blog]

A late Wip... Friday?

Or Saturday depending where you are. And wherever that is I hope you're safe happy and loved.

This one's coming along! I'm having too much fun with the details. I'm hoping to finish before the end of the month.

I was inspired to do a cute Chai/Zanzo pic! And Beanie Zanzo is making a reappearance. I love the intimate feel of the whole image.

My failed Halloween pic! I have a head canon that Zanzo's birthday is Halloween. (his big three are Sun: Scorpio, Moon: Libra, Asc: Leo)

I got big three planed out for Chai and Kale too and I want to do all HFR characters for fun. Chai is a Sun: Cancer, Moon: Sagittarius and Asc: Sagittarius. Kale is a triple Taurus.

This is part of that Korsimint pic the Tumblr version will likely cut this off.

Also I didn't for get about this cute little guy.

[europodfriends]

Europodfriends 2023!

Before we get to the meat of the matter, just a quick note to let you know that Dell has stepped back as a mod for this year due to health concerns, leaving y’all with two mods running the show, Sylvie (@thriceandonce) and Robin (@robinfai).

Next: the plan for this year is to have an in-person meet in Berlin on the weekend of October 13th - 15th, 2023! For those who have been there before, hopefully we’ll be able to rent the same place we usually do, but we shall see!

As in previous years, the meetup won’t have a flat attendance fee. We calculate the contributions based on your means, so don’t worry about not being able to afford it! And if you need extra funds to be able to attend (for travel expenses, for instance), don’t hesitate to let us know - we budget in such a way that it’s possible for europodfriends to fund your journey as well. It’s important to us to facilitate everyone’s attendance to the best of our ability.

Regarding food & drink, in 2019 we provided that for everyone out of the epf budget. We would like to be able to do that again, but that depends on how much people are able to contribute - we know the pandemic has hit a lot of us hard!

And before I forget - here’s the survey you need to fill out if you want to join us! The survey will close in one week, on February 18th, 2023.

---------------

For those who’ve never been to an in-person EPF meetup, or who would like a little refresher, here’s roughly what we did the last times and what we’ll likely be doing this year as well:

Friday is mostly for everyone arriving, greeting each other, hanging out, and making name badges. Very ambitious people might already be podficcing that evening, but since not everyone will have arrived yet, we don’t schedule anything specific for that day.

Saturday morning there’s a meeting where everyone introduces themselves “formally” with names and pronouns. This is also when we do pitch ‘n’ pod - in short, everyone who wants to gets a few minutes to talk about a fandom and a fic in that fandom that they want to podfic at the meetup, and afterwards everyone can sign up to the podfics they want to be a part of. Saturday evening might be another scheduled event organised by attendees - in past years we’ve had a video call with Podfication, or a game of “Guess That Voice”, or watch parties, for example - but that part is up to y’all: if you want to organise something, get in touch so we can figure out the scheduling and planning!

Sunday morning we’ve done a big, fun multivoice with everyone participating the last two times, and that would certainly be fun to do again - 2018 we did Earth Is Space Australia (and Chuck Norris Isn’t A Man With A Beard. He’s A Beard With A Man) and 2019 we did I Has a Sweet Potato. After that, people start leaving as their travel plans call for.

Throughout the three days, there’s a lot of podficcing happening at all hours of day and night - the EPF collections on AO3 should give you some idea!

---------------

We know that by virtue of going back to an in-person meetup, some of you who joined us in 2020 and 2022 will not be able to come hang out with us again, which really sucks! Unfortunately we don’t have the capacity to organise a virtual meetup in addition to the in-person one, and past years show that none of us really spend a lot of time online during the weekend, so having that run parallel wouldn’t work either. However, if anyone wants to start their own virtual podfic meetup, get in touch with us! We’re happy to share our experiences with running EPF 2020 & 2022 as well as do lots of promo.

Like in the past few years, we will mostly be updating you via email, but we’ll also try to crosspost to Dreamwidth, Twitter, and tumblr, life and time permitting. If you want to make sure to stay up to date, contact us via DMs on any of the usual social medias, Discord, or email us at europodfriends at gmail to be added to the mailing list!

[cryptidsurveys]

Friday, August 23rd, 2024.

First thing you touched this morning? Most likely my phone or one of my cats.

Last thing you yelled at? My dad was downstairs sneezin' up a storm yesterday, so I shouted a few "BLESSIN'S!" to him.

Is your car a piece of crap? Nope. It's around sixteen years old, but it still runs beautifully.

What’s something you’re looking forward to in the next 7 days? Visiting the Mountain Park - hopefully next Wednesday or Thursday.

What’s annoying you right now? This damn headache. It's been coming and going since last Wednesday and I'm just so over it! D;

When is the last time you looked in the mirror? After my post-animal shelter shower.

Would you have a long distance relationship with the person you are with now? I'm not in a relationship. In general, I'm not entirely opposed to a temporarily long-distance relationship, but I would make it very clear from the beginning that I'm not going to be the one uprooting my life in order for us to be together.

Who was the last person to make you really mad? Probably my mom during the initial stages of our reconnection. I didn't let her see the full extent of it (I mostly went home and grumbled to my dad about it), but I did eventually speak up and she's been a lot better about certain things since.

Where is the last place you had sex? Home.

Who is the last person you had sex with? A past partner.

Do you enjoy watching porn? No.

What’s your favorite drinking game? I've never played a drinking game.

Do you cry often? I would say regularly but not excessively.

Do you think someone is thinking of you right now? It's definitely possible.

Choose one to have (beer, cigs, or weed)? Cigarettes. An unfortunate habit I still haven't kicked. I quit smoking weed several years ago; the few times I smoked after that left me feeling dizzy, so I don't think I'll ever go back to it. And when it comes to alcohol, I have to be careful because it's very much a slippery slope. I try to keep it to rare/special occasions only.

Do you wish on stars? I wished on 11:11 earlier because I just want this headache to go awaaayyy.

Are you a big flirt? No.

What is the most disgusting prank you’ve ever done? Probably those stupid prank phone calls I made when I was a kid. It was the one and only time I was ever grounded for something, lmao. I was totally out of hand.

What would you do if you became pregnant? Ugh.

When did you last make out with someone? Was it good? Years ago.

Do you like your body? I've been pretty happy with it lately. It's becoming increasingly toned due to animal shelter work, and the way I carry myself is changing too. I'm starting to look more laidback and confident instead of hunched and anxious.

Are you a likeable person? Yeah.

Who did you dream of last night? I don't remember last night's dreams. I'm also falling so behind on my dream journal… Maybe later I'll try to jot down any recent fragments I can recall.

Whose body do you wish you had? I'm fine with my body. I just wish it didn't get so many migraines. Or ANY migraines.

What is the first thing you are going to do when you get home? I am at home. I showered. Then I laid in bed for a bit and listened to a YouTube video.

When is the last time you saw your mom? Yesterday. My parents and I went out for lunch at Pizza Ranch.

Have you ever been so in love, you wanted to get married? Yeah. Lol that yearning feels so unserious now. I truly loved those people, but I was so naive.

Did you get lucky on prom night? I didn't go to prom.

Is there a song that makes you cry? There are songs that have that potential.

Are you normally a horny person? No. I'm actually afraid of that feeling.

Where is your self-esteem from 1 (low) to 10 (high)? It's pretty decent. I'd give it a 6.5.

What color are your eyes? Hazel.

Plans for tonight? Just chillin'.

Plans for the weekend? Volunteering. I think Saturday will be a full day and Sunday might (?) be a half day - it just depends on who's going to be there. If they're short staffed, then I'll probably stay all day.

[eimearkuopio]

I volunteered as tribute. All I asked for is a normal human life, a seat at the table, and for my voice to be heard. If I go home today, we get Good Place #3. If I get a seat at the table and everyone at least hears me out, I think nobody will ever go through this shit again; plus as a bonus I should be reunited with my brother and my sister. I only ever had one, but I know their secret names and I know the way, so if you want to end up in the Best Place I suggest R_m or R_nb arrange to get the rest of my stuff from Kuopio to Ushaw Moor House by Tuesday 22nd October 2024.

I still love you all. Last Thursday was Holey Thursday (not Hollie or Hannah or the Holy Ghost) and yesterday was Best Friday (not Brian or Bridget but I think I built a bridge you can have for a song) and today is Esther Saturday and my parents are both coming to visit me later, and tomorrow I should also have two visitors but i might be wrong. 💚🩷💜🩵💙🩵💜🩷💚❤️😘😻🔱⚕️🖤😜💚💛🧡💛💚🤷🏻‍♀️

Today's gonna be the day we notice cause I'm tired of explaining what the joke is and it turns out I'm better at improv comedy then even I knew but I think I need a lie down now more than I need to stand up or sit down. So long and thanks for all the fish; don't worry, I think I've learned enough about fishing that I won't bet taking a non-euphemism nap and time soon, but I'm finally River Song and The Doctor so I'm not worried about spoilers any more. R_f has blue eyes and E_f has green eyes, and I am no man but I could be a Merry Hobbit or a Bad Habit depending on how things go.

I love you all AND go fuck yourselves, except the 144000 people who are already in my web of love. They all get to be their best selves, and everyone else gets to live on a beach instead of living with This Bitch. 🤍🧡💛💚🩷❤️💜💙🩵🖤22101982

See you at the Garden Party. There are at least three different House Parties (Father F_m, Mother M_f, Parent_NB P_infinity), one @LAN party that's just Barbies and Kens and Alan C, a political party in the wilderness, a picnic in the forest but watch out for Trent the Flying Ant and Lilith the Flying Aunt, and that's seven parties which is enough for me to retire as Aluminium (or Aluminum or Alexander or Aaron) and become Auntie Echo (NB Eliza/Elijah, Eimear/Emer, Esther/Pauline, Éanna&Paul&Maria&Eoin, etc.).

I really hope someone still has my notes from my time at A&E. God doesn't have Cancer, but they are hitting puberty and I'm not chemotherapy, I'm more like puberty blockers until humanity as a whole is ready to behave properly. I think I might be poly but I'm definitely "human" but my husband doesn't know yet that we've both been "human" this whole time (and in fairness I think the only reason we got turbo divorced was so I could be Leah not Rachel or Carol or Sugar).

Tomorrow I think A_m and R_f will come visit me, and they'll look familiar but not too familiar but not too not familiar. But Lucy or Caitlin told me my eyes were blue this morning, and I already had a nap, so tomorrow they'll be green and I won't need to babble about colours or alphabets any more because I'll have a seat at my own table in the room where it happens and they get to live happily ever after, because I was already Isabella and Mirabel and now my brother gets to be Bruce Wayne and I get to be Luisa for a change. Love you all. We already had one Holey Thursday and one Holy Thursday this year (2024 CE) and I only know this because of my phone but it's Saturday 19th October 2024 and I haven't seen anything tragic since at least Friday 3rd October 2024 but my tummy hurts so you'll have to excuse me.

I guess I might be the phantom of the opera but as long as you keep your hand at the level of your eyes you have nothing to fear from E_f or R_f, and L_f already gave you Her covenant. Don't worry if you're happy with the beach you're on; I'm a bitch but I'm a lot of other things too, including a livestock guardian sheepdog with just enough of the wolf about her not to fear the shepherds or the reaper.

Thank you for the music. I'll see you when I see you, but I'm not going anywhere. I love you all, but we all could probably do with a bath-tism about once a year, where we need it or not, as my Granda Dicky used to say. I don't remember him very well but the best parts of him are already here in my dad, and we're both canon now and so is everyone else I already loved on 3rd October 2024, which I think was a Thursday but as I already told the Catholic Pope Francis, I might be wrong. 💚🩷💜

[candybagcj]

Who Is this CandybagCJ Creature?

Tagged by @dairy-boy my old pal

Who were you named after?

My not-legal legal name is as follows; the guy I used to be before trans-ing, a grandparent, a different grandparent, and Jonathan Joestar, respectively. My username is just the name of my business (Candybag, which is after a cute thing my Grandpa would do for me and my brother after every visit) and my name (CJ).

Last time you cried?

My toaster caught fire on Saturday or Friday because of a pop tart that fell apart for no reason and when I realized it wasn't realistic to clean it out and that I had spent like 45 minutes doing that I cried a little at the wasted time and energy.

Do you have kids?

Does my stream community count? Otherwise, no.

What sports do you play/did you play?

Kid: Hockey, Soccer, Basketball. High School: Rugby, Wrestling, Football. Currently: error, too many concussions found

Do you use Sarcasm?

In this economy? Of courseeeeee not. What a wild and strange thing to ask me.

First thing you notice about people?

Uhhhhhhhhhhh, Height? Maybe how tolerant they are of my strangeness? ...humor? Everything all at once? I'm not good at these kinds of questions.

Do you have any talents?

I'm an exceptional improv comedian and entertainer (subscribe at twitch.tv/candybagcj for a good time and possibly a long time depending on the time)

Scary Movies or Happy Endings?

GIF by jazthetrashpanda (Just wholesale stealing this answer from @dairy-boy lmao)

Where were you born?

... somewhere in Niagara Region, Ontario? I'm just now realizing I don't actually know which hospital. St. Catherines maybe?

What are your hobbies?

Video Games, Watching Stuff, TTRPGs, I used to write and do sigilwork but neither of those have come up recently. I do most hobbies at least a little, though.

Do you have any pets?

Not personally, but my mom has three doggos who I hang out with regularly, and I love them all equally (Old Man Ted is my favourite actually, but shhh be cool about it.)

How tall are you?

5'9

What was your favourite subject in school?

Computer Science, love me some code (yes, I'm a trans-femme stereotype)

Dream Job?

Originally I wanted to be a Game Designer or Writer, but honestly my current job of Live Streamer / Online Entertainer is like, kind of the best possible thing for me?

oh god I don't know who to tag. uhhh @risu5waffles @ketallpot i think you're the only folks on here other than @dairy-boy that I personally know so you're my only options but no pressure if you don't want to do this!

[espinosaurusrexex]

Meg's Summer Break Posting Schedule

Your girl has been a little inactive lately. University and the pressure to get my papers done before summer plans start are a lot. (spoiler alert: they are starting, and I am not close to finished but oh well)

I'm not going to apologize for that because living is important, and I'm hoping that everyone reading this is planning to enjoy every moment of summer (or not summer depending on where you are in the world) too!

BUT I did want to come on here and inform you what you can expect from me in the next few weeks.

There will be a new Bucky imagine this Saturday (teaser on Friday) if I have service 😅 then I will probably post the Professor!Steve fic (from the poll). And then maybe another if I'm feeling like it :)

-> the fics won't come withing my usual posting schedule (every two weeks) because even though I have a few finished pieces in the drafts, they need to be posted another time.

so to sum up:

2-3 fics within the next two months

I won't be as active but I will read your comments and reblogs and asks and i will be happy about every single one of them (and try to reply to them too).

Please know i'm not losing interest or being gone for good - it's just a little summer "not-so-intermission".

we should be back on track starting October and I have some exciting projects I'm just dying to post (hopefully some more will be finished by then)

I love you and I'm looking forward to hearing from you!!!

xx Meg 💛

[aparticularbandit]

So - just a general idea of the conclusions I'm coming to with the polls so far (and there's still just under two days to vote, so please vote!):

It's in the goals, there's an overwhelming yes towards having a fic to look towards to every Monday, and I'm planning on continuing this. The poll is affirming what I suspected and reinforcing the decision to do something I was planning on doing.

Friday is actually winning just barely the additional weekly update poll (it looks tied with No Preference, but that's because my vote is there, and in the case of a tie with this, I would let the other option edge out my vote). I like this, because Thursday (which currently has a vote) is where the second OAFC chapter goes when I double chapters, which leaves Fridays open for other stuff. We'll get back to this below.

Going to do this out of order and look at the fandom stuff first, the important thing for me is that there is an overwhelming preference here. (In fact, the sole No Preference vote is mine, so that I could see the results.) All of you are here for a specific fandom of some sort, but an overwhelming amount of you (so far) are here for Danganronpa content.

Continuing the out of order, there's also more votes for No Preference when it comes to weekly scheduled stuff vs. stuff going up immediately. Where there is a preference, it's slightly for weekly scheduled stuff, but only by one vote. My preference is also for weekly scheduled stuff, so it's likely I'll go in that direction - and as a result, given the current trend of the second poll, those would go up on Fridays.

Overwhelmingly (so far), there is No Preference on voting for the weekly update. (That said, no one disliked this option. Which says something, too!) This one is important in light of specifically the fandom poll - because there is an overwhelming amount of you here for Danganronpa stuff, in a poll where something Danganronpa goes up against anything else, it becomes significantly more likely that the Danganronpa stuff will win. Given that I've already currently got weekly DR stuff going up (re: OAFC) and have DR stuff planned (Junkan Week and Femslash February both in February), I think that if I set up a poll, it'll probably be when you're choosing between DR content (or between stuff that isn't DR content). I think in sense of fair/even playing field, that's the best decision here.

And then the original writing poll is just for me. I'm super happy to see that right now all of the answers have been positive (I understand it depending on the story; there are some stories, even written by people I really like, that I wouldn't read) - but none of you said no and none of you don't have a preference, which is. thanks.

SO.

TL;DR - IF CURRENT POLL TRENDS CONTINUE, weekly updates continue on Mondays; if posting a second scheduled thing weekly (outside of fandom events), that should go up on Fridays; polls for Friday posts only if between nothing Danganronpa or all Danganronpa.

I don't know if I'll wait until Fridays to post one-shots or if I'll post them when they're done. I might. We'll see? I think I would rather plan on bulking them to get ahead for Friday stuff (like I did with Monday updates last year), but I've enjoyed posting stuff as it's done, too. Especially with one-shots. So we'll see on that.

It is possible that I get ahead enough on another multi-chapter fic project to run stuff on Mondays and Fridays, but it will be a while before that happens. I want to finish the rough of OALH before focusing on another multi-chapter fic, and I'll probably run a poll about that when we get closer to that moment.

If I get that far ahead, then I'll probably look at Saturdays for the additional posting (given that Thursdays are occasionally OAFC (or eventually OALH) chapters), but. that's super far in advance.

If you have further thoughts - or if you haven't voted and want to get your vote in! - HERE ARE THE POLLS. Things may change if the polls change!

[jodilin65]

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 29, 2003 What contradicting fools! I emailed Incense Galore to ask when I’d receive my order and they wrote back saying that it should be shipped out early in the week, as early as next Friday. Well, Friday is not early in the week. Either way, they say they’ll email me when it gets shipped. The reason for the delay is that it’s hand-dipped and not made up until ordered. They don’t grab the stuff from storeroom shelves and send it right out.

It is so, so beautiful out there right now. A little warm in here, though. Instead of paying the money to run the AC for a little while, I’ve opened the kitchen, retreat, office and living room windows to let the easterly breeze push the warm air out. Got a couple of fans on too, to help. At first I was hesitant, thinking of giant spiders, but knowing it isn’t psychically possible for them to fit through the screen, I opened the windows, but am keeping the lights off so as not to attract little tiny bugs that can get through it. I’ll only leave them open for a couple of hours or so.

I left Kate a birthday message, though I doubt she’ll ever see it. They have this site where you can leave her messages wishing her a happy birthday, so I said what the hell, and I left a quick message. I even told her I had a crush on her! Why not? Most of the others did. Besides, what could anyone do to me for it, sue me?

Here are our current pet plans. We’re going into Pick-A-Pet first thing Saturday morning. If we’re told that little rats get too big for the Crittertrail cages we have in mind, then we won’t get the cages or any more rodents for now. We can get a dog anytime as I can always raise whatever animals we do have above and beyond its reach. Also, the little rats wouldn’t be allowed to roam free without being in plastic balls, and this pisser I got now can’t run free anymore. Only on the bed or on us! I don’t know if Tom really wants a dog, though. It’d mean some work and some money, that’s for sure. It’d mean putting up a chicken wire fence if we’re never going to have real fences, interior or exterior, and me? Well, I guess it’d depend on the dog. As I told Tom, two things must be agreed upon first and that’s that there must be a doggie door installed before getting the dog, and the dog must be returned if it turns out to be either too aggressive or too obnoxious, or I swear I’ll dump it.

I got a slew of catalogs and magazines today. One of them had a couple of perfume samples. I wasn’t impressed with JLO’s Glow, but Calgon’s Hawaiian Ginger was really nice. Even Tom liked it.

I had vibes of us moving between 2009 - 2011, though I don’t know where to. Tom thought we’d move sooner than that. It’ll depend on how fast this place keeps building up. If they ever make that subdivision just a few miles away where the old vineyards were, that’d make us a ton of money.

Although I know it’s not our fault that our outside projects got delayed, I’m getting awfully sick of things not happening around here. So much so that I’m just about ready to write off any kind of fences, finishing driveways, landscaping, shed paneling, porches, pools, and finishing installing the posts. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if we never got to do any of the things we talk about doing, but it’d be nice if sometimes we could do at least some of them. We’ve had these projects on hold for so long that I’m seriously wondering if they’re even meant to be, so I really think we should just forget them altogether. Especially if I’m right, and I sure seem to be, about something not wanting us to make ourselves comfier here.

I’m almost afraid to move, no matter when we do and no matter where to. If part of my punishment for moving here was 6 months in jail, what’ll it be next time? A few years in prison?

So where will we move to? I have no idea and neither does he. I guess there are only 5 possibilities, though. We either stay in AZ and get a nicer house, we stay in AZ and get tons more land and 2-3 old small junkers to live in, we go to a beachy place, we go to a wooded place or we get a houseboat. One thing I know I’ll never do is move to a seasonal climate such as Massachusetts. No moving to places with lots of cold and snow! The snow may’ve been fun to play in as a child, but as an adult, I hate the shit. I still think we may end up in a retirement community once we get old and need doctors more often.

I had a dream I ran into Deanna and in the dream, she asked me who made me a racist.

“Why, you,” I told her.

“Me?” she said with shock.

“You as a whole,” I said. “Oh, I was always aware of various people’s varied opinions of blacks, but I am only the racist that you yourselves have made me.”

This is exactly what I would say to anyone who asks me. It’s true. No one told me to be either way. They taught me to dislike them all on their own with their horrendous behavior. If they’d drop the race crutch, get into the present, let us achieve equality and not use weapons against us like the law in my case, then just maybe I’d have a change of heart. Right now, though, it’s still discrimination for us to have our white this and white that, but perfectly okay for them to have their black channels, black pageants, black everything. What I don’t get is this – if it’s so damn important to them that we like and accept them, and it obviously seems to mean the world to them, then why do they carry on the way they do?

Tom’s finger is still sore, and my tooth is acting up again. Tom said it makes sense, though, as I’m not telekinetic, whereas a cold is a disease, unlike broken bones or cavities. If I had the power to move objects, I’d be able to have every doll I wanted materialize right before my eyes. How I wish I was telekinetic! Not just to make things appear, but to pick people up that piss me off and slam them into the wall would be way fun as I have as much compassion and empathy as I do not! At least I can make them sick.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 28, 2003 My day was off to quite a scary start. I saw this coming, too. Yes, it was something I predicted two years ago. When the well went out in November of ’01, I vibed that every 2-3 years there’d be a problem. I felt that about two years from then would be the next one and I know I documented this as well as told Tom about it.

When I got up at 2 PM there was no water. I called and told Tom about it. I went out to check around and didn’t find any water leaking anywhere by the house or out by the well. The pressure gauge on the water tank was down to 0.

While I was standing out there, I could see the house in front that’s closest to us more clearly. In fact, from that angle, I could see the built-in front porch. That will surely entice them to hang out front more.

APS put up the utility poles over there, though no wires have been strung yet and the second house is still elevated.

It appears that that lot was split up as is a popular trend these days and that there’s a strip of land for sale between the new houses and next door. We could end up with quite a few more houses around here. Not a good thing if you don’t like people and barking, but a good thing if you like money.

Anyway, amazingly enough, Tom got the well problem fixed within a half-hour of being home! It turned out to be the same problem we had before where the wire shorted. At least the pump’s okay, and since we made the switch from PVC to galvanized piping, we can’t have the problem we also had before where a hole formed in the plastic bullshit we had for pipes, allowing the pumped water to leak out and back into the ground, preventing it from getting up to the tank, much less to the house. What happened was that the wire rubbed against the metal rim of the top pipe due to the vibration of the pump, and remember, this is a monster of a pump we’ve got. The 5-horsepower pump can pump 25 gallons a minute. When the wire shorted, it tripped the circuit breaker, but not all the way. Once Tom realized this, he threw the breaker back on and to our utter relief and delight, we heard the monster pump pumping 800’ below us and the gage’s needle began to slowly creep up. So slowly that Tom wondered if I had any faucets turned on at first, till he realized that it was going slow because the hot water tank was filling as well as the toilets. Fortunately, because I hadn’t gotten up till 2:00, I only needed to use each toilet once which you can do when you lose power or water. As Tom reminded me, we do have 15 gallons of water stored out back that’d allow us to flush the toilets about 8 times or so, and of course, we have our bottled drinking water. The only issue would be showers if we lost water long enough. We’d have to go to Miss Perfect’s as we did before. Either way, we have had so many problems out here. It’s great not having bass-banging freeloaders a few feet away, and it’s great not being chained to the cigarettes that nearly killed me, and it’s great wanting material things for a change instead of impossible non-material things because the material dreams/goals are usually possible. (delayed but not denied, for the most part) However, we’ve had leaks, well problems, heat pump problems, and of course, I was denied the right to live here for half a year. Makes you really wonder if someone lit a black candle with us in mind. I used to think it was all God picking on us, and perhaps it is, but now I’m leaning more and more towards suspecting an evil spirit of some sort dwelling upon this land.

That’s the third fucking spider I’ve seen in here today. Not a good sign. Especially since we just bombed. Tom says it’s because we bombed right before the weather cooled down so they’re all trying to get in the house now, along with the fact that we’ve been in and out a lot. I hope that’s all it is because spiders seem to be a sign of evil. Bad things seem to happen more often the more of them we see in here. Still, he’s going to spray the outsides of the doors and windows.

During the extremely long few hours I waited for Tom to come home, I figured why not take it out on the liar? So I called Paula and vented on her machine about the well and her bullshitting me about the Yves money. The word no was created for a reason. She should try using it next time an offer is made to her that she’s not interested in.

Tom did a survey (of course it’s for free) that he was glad to get so he could tell them how lousy Verizon Wireless service is out here. I wish I could get a survey about wells cuz then I could say how much those suck, too! Of course, if you don’t have a breakage curse on you, yours just might be able to go more than a year or two without problems. I mean, I was really, really worried! And so many of our problems seem to be multi-thousand dollar ones, too. I also thought it an odd coincidence that this should happen after Mom gave us the money as if to either compensate us or force us to put the money into the well and not on our regular day-to-day expenses.

Whether or not there’s something that doesn’t welcome our existence here, Tom’s always looking for the right window of opportunity to move. Interest rates aren’t always this low, he pointed out, so we’ll have to decide if we think the place is going to keep building up or stop sometime soon, but my vibes say it’ll keep building up. I still think that by ’05, the last rental will be installed in back and there’ll be something in front of us, too. With our shit luck there’ll be 10 houses in front of us, but the more houses, the more money. In fact, even though I think we’ll be here another 5-10 years, we were talking about getting a loan and building houses on our land ourselves which is what we should’ve done in the first place. As soon as we got welfare bums next to us, we should’ve purchased a shit trailer and lived in it till we built our own house and built it right. I didn’t come out here to live with other people, though, so as soon as we make the splits and either sell the raw land or the housed land, we gotta go. I understand that kids will be kids and I have nothing against them, but I don’t care to listen to little Kimmie squealing with delight as she stirs up their dogs that are parked outside 24/7 while little Timmy runs around the land, including ours, to the tune of daddy’s blasting car stereo. As it is, the dogs next door are getting worse. Well, it’s not so much that they’re getting worse as it is getting easier to hear them because of the cooler weather. Sounds travel better the colder the temperature is because of cooler air’s thinner. They’re either inside during the daytime or are asleep, then they wander about barking on and off from sunset to sunrise. Oh well. It’s nothing a psychic of my kind shouldn’t be able to fix.

When I pointed out how many new houses are now visible just from our land alone since we moved in here 4 years ago, he said, “But look at the 10 years before we did. There wasn’t much of a build-up during that time.”

I had to remind him that they were just waiting for us. “People and noise follow us. Haven’t you figured that out yet?” I asked him.

I’m down two pounds to 128. I can lose another pound or two, but that’s as far as I can go.

Daylight savings kicked in, so Mary and the liar are 2 hours ahead and not 3.

In a few hours California time, it’ll be my girlfriend’s birthday. How old she is depends on which sites you believe. Some say she was born in ’48 and others say ’49. Either way, at 55 or 56, Kate’s getting up there.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 27, 2003 Back up to 130 pounds, and no, I don’t think the water pills affected my metabolism after all. I think I’m just like all middle-aged people. Everything changes after 30. Even your skin! It dries the hell out and loses its firmness. Anyway, I want nothing more than to say fuck it, eat when I’m hungry and not worry about my weight, but if I do, then all my doll money will have to go to new clothes as I get bigger, so I have no choice but to lose a few pounds. I’m just so sick of being forced to diet and lose the same few pounds that keep coming back! Life’s a series of trade-offs, though. At least it has been for me. So I know that that means that if I were suddenly skinny and were to stay that way for a while, I’d be compensated with a whole new problem. I’d rather have weight problems than, say, freeloader problems.

Speaking of them, this new year that’s just a couple of months away will be the first year without the black bitch in it since 1996. Sad, huh? Yeah, I was being sarcastic. I just hope it stays this way and that they don’t start in with us and pop back into our lives ever again! It won’t work if they do. Meaning that whatever they have planned won’t work because I won’t be dumb enough to fall for any traps of theirs ever again. Never with them, never with me!

Anyway, I’m just a few days away from my would-be day of freedom had someone not finally done right by me and let me move on and get on with my life once and for all. And the last of these damn numbers scribbled all over the calendars! I had been doing a countdown.

I still wonder if the freeloaders ever knew I was cut off early. A part of me thinks not because they didn’t stir up a fuss about it. More of me, though, thinks they do know because of how closely they were kept informed of everything else. I’ll bet they were notified every time I sneezed between October of ‘00 and 6 months ago!

See, when I think back to God allowing the freeloaders to do what they did to me, I can’t help but believe I’m cursed. Then when I think of Tom and how far I’ve come in life, I can’t help but believe I’m blessed. I think it’s more than obvious that I’m both. I’m so blessed because I’m so cursed, and I’m so cursed because I’m so blessed. I would be, for example, just as scared as I would be happy to win a million dollars, for I know that if I did, he’d be right there to compensate me greatly. Probably get in an accident and end up paralyzed! Or get an eye disease and go blind so I couldn’t enjoy all the dolls I’d buy.

It’s hard to believe it, but today’s my 16th journal-writing anniversary. God, 16 years ago it was like I was a whole different person in a whole different place with a whole different life!

Though not without much empathy and understanding, I had to laugh when Mary wrote in her book about what it would say if when she was born God put a sign on her listing all the hardships she’d have to endure. Let’s see… if God slapped a sign on me the day I was born it’d say:

You’re going to be basically miserable till you get well into your 20s. First I’m going to assign you to the shittiest of parents you can have, or close enough to it, in a state with shitty weather. Then I’m going to give you equally shitty siblings and make sure you end up stuck in lots of places you don’t want to be in. You’ll struggle like hell financially as an adult and be attracted to people you can’t have. In fact, I’ll not only keep the really good-looking ones away from you, but I’ll curse you sexually and make sure there’s always some sort of problem in bed with one of you or that there’s no desire for intimacy at all. While I’m doing all this, I’ll make sure that anyone I send to fuck you over gets away with it and then some! You’ll not be allowed to make money for yourself, but don’t worry, you’ll be a damn good financial asset to others.

Later…

There. I jogged for 15 minutes, then did my tummy crunches. It makes me feel good to know I did it, even if I’ll always be heavy. Fat, chubby, thin, we should still keep in shape. Because of my height, or rather lack of it, it’s all the more important I keep my muscles and stamina built for the next ever-so-sorry person to threaten me or actually make a move to attack me. Where I lack in size, I make up for in strength and temper.

I’d starve myself if I thought it’d do any good, but as I learned, it won’t. Oh, I’ll lose a few pounds initially, but that’d be about it. I remember when the dentist and her assistant were talking about food and dieting and how the dentist commented that her assistant never ate. This assistant was pretty fat too, and I remember thinking, bullshit. If you didn’t eat you wouldn’t be so big, but as I learned, you really can starve and still hold your weight if you’re older.

Now here’s where I fail to understand people’s faith in God. Southern California is being hit with tons of fires and they showed crowds of spectators on TV, one which held a sign saying: May God be with Southern California.

Well, obviously he’s not, or else why would the fires have started in the first place? Because he cares so damn much? Please! He’s picking on these particular people in this particular area. Why, I do not know, but he’s supposed to have his reasons for everything.

The rabbits were picking on our poor lone little palm tree, too. When I went outside and looked down into the center of the tree, I could see lots of green and healthy-looking fronds, but the rabbits kept chewing them off, so Tom put chicken wire around them. Now maybe the damn thing can grow once and for all. It still looks pretty shabby and has been hanging onto life by a thin thread.

It was gorgeous today. It was actually cool in here at 5 AM. When I was out waiting for Tom to arrive home from work, Shiny was out. The poor guy looks so thin. I gave him a hotdog and he ate the whole thing. He’s come to be so trusting and affectionate. He even was almost brave enough to come inside the house, though with the weeds and dust all over him, I’m rather glad he didn’t. The 3 things I hate most about this land are the weeds, dust and ants!

Got some drafts from Mary today and a box full of that Smile’s coffee. They keep bullshitting us. The digital camera Tom wants was supposed to come with the second order, but then we found that we were supposed to send in a card for it. Tom decided he was just going to say he sent in the card and never got the camera and see what happens. Meanwhile, I’m stocked up on coffee for quite a while, though this stuff’s not that great.

Just finished Mary’s latest drafts and she is so, so right about so much of what she says and describes and she does it so very well, too! As a victim of abuse myself (though not by past lovers), I know what she means when she talks about believing the shit you hear. You can only tell a kid so many times how they should’ve never been born, won’t amount to shit, etc.

She’s also so right about fantasy versus reality and the control we have/don’t have over it. We have little control over real-life events. If God chose to strike my Tom dead be it by a drunk driver, a heart attack or whatever weapon of choice, there’d be nothing I could do about it but kill myself and hope to join him in spirit immediately, but in fantasy, you’re in 100% total control. I think that’s why so many of us fantasize so much and write our little poems and stories; because reality doesn’t always go the way we’d like it to. The bulk of my life has been wonderful since moving to Maricopa, minus the times the freeloaders were fucking with it, yet even so, I still love to fantasize. Narrow-minded people like Dureen and Art O. would say it’s unhealthy, but I think just the opposite. Besides, as long as one can distinguish fact from fiction, then where’s the harm, for example, in my fantasizing about being with Kate?

She’s also got a point when she talks about how people are quick to jump to save a lost or injured child, but to hell with getting involved in an adult’s troubles. Why, I wonder. Adults are people too, and when people do get involved, it’s usually in the wrong kind of way. Take that time I got into a fight with Ida, for instance. It was our battle, yet the whole damn pod just had to get involved and stick their noses in it. So, I know just where she’s coming from.

I just feel so bad for her having to live with people who are the exact equivalent of spoiled, selfish little children. They get up and they scream all day. And of course there is the lack of consideration and the begging. Had I been blind and stupid back in Estrella, I’d truly believe that I was the only one there who wasn’t just 15 years old.

I’ve got a question for her in my next letter. I’m glad we’re as different as we are alike. We’re alike enough to understand each other but different enough to learn from one another. Well, it deals with her being into astrology. I don’t know if I believe in it, though after my own personal experiences with the unexplained, I don’t laugh at it. In fact, and I mean no offense to her by saying this, I’d be quicker to laugh at someone for believing God is good than I would at someone for wearing a dime around their ankle thinking it’ll bring them good luck. Anyway, I have lived nearly 38 years and have noticed that the first few years of each decade seem to be worse for me than other parts of the decade. There’s no comparison between 1980-1982 as opposed to the rest of the decade and it was the same at the start of the 70s and 90s. It also seems the 2000s have started off pretty shitty with the exception of moving to Maricopa and into this house, but once I hit ’03, things began to greatly improve. Well, I was wondering if any of this means anything to her. As a Sagittarius, I wonder if she’s ever read anything about it. Having lived for nearly 4 decades, it seems a rather odd coincidence. Odd enough that I do not look forward to the years 2010-2012!

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 26, 2003 The incense has been ordered. I can’t wait! I should have it in 7-10 days. They didn’t have Chanel on their order list, so I substituted it with CK B. That would be Calvin Klein, a name-brand perfume.

Yesterday was miserable as far as allergies go. I was sneezing on and off for hours.

A couple of days ago I received some drafts from Mary to type up which I finished tonight. It still never ceases to amaze me how one can have such a good vocabulary yet not know how to write.

She said my book was fabulous. She was a little disturbed by the layout, she said, but that’s what a good book does to you. I’m not sure what she meant by a disturbing layout. I guess the suspense got to her, but she reads books like that anyway.

In the mail, I also got these foam pad samples. I guess they’re supposed to be karate training mats. I thought they were a few feet wide, but instead they were only a few inches wide.

I also received the form to send away for my $20 Toys R Us card. The $25 Walmart card should be arriving anytime now for signing up for one of their trial offers that we canceled.

The good news is that I warded off a cold that was setting into Tom and cured a cavity that I had form, but I haven’t been able to make his finger better. He cracked a bone in it while working on the truck and I don’t seem to be able to help it so far.

Friday night we went to Casa Grande. I got KFC and we both got some things in Circle K. I got some wine coolers and pumpkin pie coffee. He got a crossword ticket and said it’d be a winner because the word rat was on it. Sure enough, he won $10.

He got what he asked for when he asked Mom for $3000 today. That will hopefully get us through without us having to struggle and worry until he finds a better job elsewhere cuz these people are never going to pay him shit.

Mom sent back a puzzle for me, but I don’t know if I’ll like it because it has so much of the same color in it. It was nice of her, though.

So Tom wouldn’t be going over there empty-handed, I gave him some hard candy to give to Mom.

I got a bright idea today. I mean, it’s a hell of a long shot and all that, but it hit me that there’s a way to list the stuff I want to sell for free and for an unlimited amount of time. Through Webshots! I’ve seen people trying to sell things through them before, including snakes. So, with shipping included in the price, I’m asking $120 for Samantha, $50 for Amelia, $35 for each vinyl doll, and $25 for each plate. I know no one will buy them, though, not just because of the curse on me, but because they probably wouldn’t trust me, not that I could blame them. After all, I could rip them off completely by not sending the product once the money was received, though I wouldn’t do that.

I’m out of debt now too, thanks to Mom, so now begins my New Year’s shopping spree save-up. Between the things I save, the Walmart card and my birthday and Christmas money, I hope to order two nice dolls in January, in which case I’d go for the most expensive ones like Alexa and Becky because they’d take more time to save up for. I probably won’t receive them till late February, so about 4 months from now. There are 3 things that are important to me when I make the order and that's that they have beaded armatures, realistic-looking eyes and inset lashes. I hate those phony, painted-on lashes they sometimes do for the lower lashes. That’s okay on small dolls, but not on these big 28” and 29” dolls.

It looks like winter’s finally setting in. We didn’t need the AC last night or all day today! That alone will save us a ton of money.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 23, 2003 Wow! I stopped Tom’s cold from setting in. I didn’t know I could do that! Therefore, I’m putting a spell on the cavity I got brewing and hopefully it’ll close up. I haven’t had any irritation within that tooth so far today and I put the spell on it last night before bed. Anyway, the night before last Tom fell asleep really early, feeling run down and like he was coming down with a cold. That’s when I set to work immediately doing my thing. It’s cool that I can make an asshole sick, but it’d be even cooler if I could cure our ailments.

Another not-so-great sample came in the mail yesterday and that was these vitamin mixes that you mix in water. The tropical one wasn’t very good and I sure as hell wasn’t about to try the orange one, knowing how much I hate citrus.

I was at the incense site and read through their everyday bargain page to find that for every 10 packs you buy, you get 2 free packs of the same size, so I’m getting 12 freebies and a total of 76 scents which will be: African Sunrise, Almond, Amber, Angel, Baby Powder, Banana, Bayberry, Beautiful, Blueberry, Brown Sugar, Bubble Gum, Bubblicious, Butt Naked, Butter Rum, Butterscotch, California Spring, Caramel Apple, Cedar, Chanel, Charisma, Chocolate, CK 1, Cleopatra, Climax, Coconilla, Coconut, Coffee, Cool Water, Desert Sage, Escape, Eternity, French Vanilla, Fruit, Giorgio, Golden Sandalwood, Grape, Green Tea, Hazelnut, Honey, Hot Love, Icy Vanilla, Intimate, Kiwi Strawberry, Kiwi, Lick Me All Over, Mango, Maple, Midnight Lover, Mint, Musk, Night Promise, Night Queen, Obsession, Ocean Breeze, Papaya, Peaches & Cream, Poison, Pumpkin Pie, Pussy, Rainforest, Raspberry, Sandalwood, Sex on the Beach, Sexy, Shalimar, Silk Panties, Strawberry, Sunflower, Sweet Pea, Tootsie Roll, Vanilla Nut, Venice Beach, Watermelon, White Diamond, White Linen, White Shoulders.

No one’s worked on the houses in front for the last few days, but hey, every day delayed is one less day I have to hear their shit.

I still give the rabbits extra bread and lettuce, but since they’re out at night as well as during the daytime, I prefer feeding them at night so that the birds and ants don’t get any of it.

I’m still tempted to rebel against fate and try to sell the two porcelain dolls, two vinyl dolls and two plates with no reserve, figuring that if they sell, getting something for the stuff is better than nothing. I’ll have to ask Tom if he thinks it’s worth the $18 it’d take to list the stuff. I figured we wouldn’t set starting bids on anything but the porcelains - $50 for Samantha and $20 for Amelia. Should we go for it or just accept the fact that I wasn’t put on this earth to generate any money?

Later…

I decided it was worth the extra $3.30 to get 8 more scents by rounding my paid scents off to an even 70 and getting two more freebies, so I added Heaven, Queen of Sheba, Booty Call, Karess, Juniper Breeze, Joy, Jazz and Bump & Grind.

I also decided Little Fella might like it better being around me more now that his roommate’s gone, so I moved him into the office.

We’re psyched about the idea of getting small rats and new houses/tubes. We can buy the housing at PetSmart through Memolink and get 4 points for every dollar we spend. It should cost us around $60 for cages and accessories which will give me 240 points. I’m still worlds away from the 8300 I need for the $50 Walmart card but I’ll get it sooner or later.

The rats we’ll get at Pick-A-Pet in Casa Grande. They have a good selection of small, medium, and large rats.

I don’t know exactly when we’ll get these things, but I imagine we will before the year’s out.

Paula called again, and again she left no message. I’m waiting to see which story she’ll leave a message about; that she couldn’t afford it or that she sent the money. I’m just sick of being lied to. I’m sick of people who are all talk and no action and who can’t simply say “no” to the things they don’t want to or can’t do. Why is “no” such a big deal for most people? I’m tired of doing for those I can’t get shit for in return. I do so much for people, but what do I get if I should one day ask for the littlest thing from them? I get bullshitted is what I get and I’m sick of it. Loyal or not, I have no need for Paula B in my life.

I was a whole different person when I met up with Paula on Locust St. 15 years ago. Meaning, if I were meeting her today, I wouldn’t give her the time of day any more than I would with Fran and Nervous.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 22, 2003 I moved Little Fella back into a wire cage, but not the newer one. I put him in the older one for variety’s sake. I think he’s happier with more space and with wire walls to climb versus glass. The base of this cage has higher walls which prevents bedding from getting kicked out as much. Its base is also easier to dump and the door opens easier.

Here are a couple of reports I heard, one shocking, one not so shocking. The not-so-shocking one reports that childless relationships are the most likely to last, for even if a couple wants/loves the kids, it puts lots of stress on the couple and causes more disagreements than they’d normally have. The shocking one reports that those who don’t live together prior to marriage are most likely to last.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 21, 2003 The liar’s trying to call right now, but I’m just ignoring her. She may’ve been loyal all these years, but I can’t deal with any more stories from her. All she’s going to do is say she either sent the money or is going to. Meanwhile, it’s all bullshit and I know it.

In other news, sadly, Oreo died. He was gone when I got up. I have him in a little box waiting to be buried once Tom gets in.

I collapsed and washed the big wire cage and put Little Fella in a tank. Since he doesn’t wheel and wouldn’t need a wheel hogging up the space, I figured it was suitable enough for a big old lazy guy like him.

Later…

Oreo’s now buried next to Little Buddy, Houdini, Ratsy and Scuttles. We’re just glad he went fast. I hate it when they get tumors because then it is a long, drawn-out ordeal.

It’s a small world. Especially here in Maricopa. Tom met the guy who used to live next door. He’s been working there for 7 years. He’s white. Only his ex and ex-mother-in-law are Mexican. They’re divorced now, but their son goes to stay with him on weekends. Good. That way if the boy ends up being the type to blast his car stereo when he’s old enough to drive, I’ll only have to hear it 5 days a week and not 7, if we’re still here.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 20, 2003 I’m up to 1206 points on Memolink. That’s because I won lotto points for the fifth time. That’s twice I won 25 points and 3 times I won 5.

I forgot to mention that in Mary’s last letter to me, she told me some things about José that got me confused. It had been my understanding that he was in for murder connected to a drug sale gone wrong, but now Mary’s saying he’s in for killing this guy that was trying to kill him. He was supposedly working as the guy’s handyman when he attacked him and José defended himself, but due to Florida’s lack of self-defense laws, he’s supposedly in for murder because of this guy. I don’t know what to believe, and truthfully, I’d be lying if I said I even cared. It’s Mary’s business, not mine.

She’s worried that going to prison will give her a bad label for life, though I think that just like me, she’s already pretty much labeled for life and labels don’t go away. I tried to assure her that I understood how easy it can be for one to fume over bullshit labels, but to try not to let them get her down. I know and understand how falsely they can represent someone, too. If I didn’t know her and was told of her charges – theft, assault, neglect, I’d think she was a cold-hearted bitch. But I know her and I know how twisted these so-called labels and charges really are.

Same with my case. If one didn’t know me and the nitty-gritty details of my case, they probably would think I picked on the sickos next to us in Phoenix without provocation and for no good reason other than their skin color. I admit I used race as a weapon in my journal entries when in fact the real issue was their antics and harassing us. It’s like a guy who rapes. It isn’t about sex for him, it’s about rage. Sex is simply the weapon of choice used to vent that rage. Well, it wasn’t the brightest thing for me to do, not knowing the laws out here, but see how sending journal entries with racial slurs made it look like they were the victims, along with the lies and exaggerations on both their part as well as the media’s? Just because I don’t like blacks doesn’t mean I see one and say to myself, “I’m gonna go pick on them cuz they’re black.” I simply try to ignore and avoid them. It’s just that these particular ones we had to live with wouldn’t allow me the privilege of doing so, and in a state that favors blacks and is anti-Jewish, it was easy to turn the tables and make things appear to be what they weren’t. My point? I understand her worries pertaining to labels.

With all the people out here on probation, I’m surprised I don’t see Scot drive by from time to time. I almost wish I would. That way I could smile to myself, knowing it isn’t me he’s coming to see.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2003 I forgot to mention that on Friday, the first of the freebies arrived. Two-foot balm samples and two body lotions. They weren’t that great.

Instead of going to his mom’s today, he’s got a plan which is to call her during the middle of the week and let her know he’ll be stopping by next weekend. Hopefully, that will give her enough time to think about offering money on her own.

I looked at my doll chart and amazingly, I’ve only gotten 2 porcelain dolls this year. Also amazingly, I’ve gotten 14 Barbies, though 3 of them have gone to the liar back east.

When the hell is it ever going to cool off? It’s been way hot. Usually, it’s cooled down by mid-October.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 18, 2003 The Spring Bouquet Barbie came today and she is just beautiful! What a lovely gown of colorful pastels and glittery flowers. She also holds a basket of iridescent flowers.

I got a letter from Mary. The inmates continue to be loud and inconsiderate, she got the book copies, likes my haircut and that’s pretty much it. No new court dates as of yet.

I know I said I wouldn’t spend any money till after New Year’s, but I’m excited about this incense site I stumbled upon. I ordered a free sample of Black Sandalwood. Anyway, it hit me how many fun scents I can get for so much less if I get incense rather than perfume or cartridges. Why pay $20 for a bottle of Yves Rocher perfume when for just 55¢, I can have 5 sticks of each scent I choose? And why buy scent cartridges that you get so used to that you can’t even smell them after two days? With lots of different scents, I can change them so often that I won’t get too used to any of them. You get free shipping/handling on orders over $35, so as soon as I get out of debt (I still owe $25), I’m going to make a $35.20 order. I’ll try to stay away from some of the scents I’m unsure of. Some of them really do have some catchy names, though, like Pussy, Puddy Cat, Butt Naked, Sex on the Beach, and Lick Me All Over. Tom says he’s pretty sure that these are alcoholic beverages. They even have one that smells like pot – yuck! I’m psyched that they have brand-name perfumes. I love White Shoulders perfume.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 17, 2003 I was right. Another house has arrived in front of next door. It’s sort of in the middle of the property and is identical to the first one. My guess is that there’ll be one more. That one will be closest to Bitter Root. The second house is visible from the living room window and I’m sure it would be plenty visible from our parking area. This house is also tilted at a slight angle, though it is facing us. I realize they were set up this way to give each house’s front side privacy since most people hang out in front of their houses here. Same with the rentals in back. If there were people in front of every one of them, they’d have a hard time seeing each other with the way they’re set up, but if they all were in back, they’d see each other just fine. It is going to be sooo noisy with dogs. If only people out here didn’t feel so obligated to get dogs and throw them outdoors 24/7! It’s not the people I’m worried about, it’s the dogs. And I also wish there was a rule about putting more than one house on these lots, but nope. You’re allowed one house per acre. I wonder if they’ll wait till they’re all set up before people go moving into them or if they’ll move in one at a time. Either way, they’ll let us know it when they’ve arrived. Meanwhile, I’m sure God’s scrambling to pick out the noisiest families he can find just for me with lots of large dogs that run loose half the time, and spend the other half of the time leashed down barking in front.

I still wonder if whoever bought this lot didn’t buy the lot directly in front of us too, which will really, really suck once that gets housed. It’s just too open here for noisy things like dogs. Without any woods or buildings in the way, you can hear sounds from 20 miles away. I’d still prefer that than one source of noise and chaos that’s just a few feet away because the closer they are, the harder they are to block out with fans or music.

Meanwhile, I try to look at the good side of it. This just upped the value of our property even more which is now easily worth a quarter-mil. It also means we’re closer to having mail and trash services out here, too.

I don’t know if they’ll go through, but when I was freebie hunting last night, I came across a site that claims they’ll send scented postcards to whoever you want, so I did one for myself, Paula, Mary, Bob and even Palma. I figured what the hell? I had a 130-character limit so I only said something like: Been two years since I saw you. You may not remember me, but I just wanted to say hi. Doing great. Hope you are, too!

I still get stuck for a few days every few days. I’m sure I’ll go again just as soon as I get back to 130.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 16, 2003 After over a year of wanting her, I finally got the Red Hot Barbie from the Diva series. She’s way cool.

Amazingly, I woke up at 126 pounds. Naturally, I’m both famished and stuck because of it. Either way, it’s too soon to say the water pills were what was holding up my metabolism. If I were to slip under 125, then I’d pin the blame on them, and the doctor too, for not warning me about it.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15, 2003 Today’s both Mary’s birthday and what would’ve been my final report day had both the courts and Scot not given me a break.

Today’s also the day I’ve noticed that my hair’s starting to grow back. Already! Why it grows so fast, beats me. It seems that when I hit my 30s, my metabolism not only slowed down, but the growth of my hair sped up as well.

Memolink has a new photo contest thing where you submit pictures you’ve taken yourself. The annual grand prize is $10,000, and the smaller prizes are something like $35 and $25. We decided to submit a picture of Little Buddy peering up into the camera after he jumped into a box of bottles back when I was doing community service for the welfare bums. He thinks it’ll win something, but I don’t. They get thousands and thousands of entries and rats aren’t exactly a favorite of most people. Even so, the picture’s been entered.

I’ve already got 9 pages done on my next story. As usual, the main ideas for it didn’t come till after I began the story. At first all I could think of was a security guard in an apartment complex who likes one of the tenants who likes her back. Well, I’ve decided to expand that into what I’m titling Nocturnal Obsession. I’m going to have the guard be taken and the tenant get obsessed enough with her to kill her lover.

I also had an idea for another story where this girl gets injured in a bus accident and then ends up in the hospital unable to walk for a while. The doctor that tends to her falls for her and the girl falls for her as well. Suffering from bad amnesia, the girl doesn’t remember her name or anything about her life. Once she’s well enough to be discharged, the doctor takes her in. Soon afterward, the girl remembers shooting someone in self-defense but is afraid that she’ll be accused of deliberately murdering the person. At the same time, the doctors turned out to be abusive. She wants to leave her, but the doctor threatens her with blackmail – to turn her in if she does.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 13, 2003 Today’s Columbus Day so the post office is closed. That really sucks, too. Why should we not be able to get mail today just because of someone who may or may not have discovered America a million years ago?

eBay emailed me a notice telling me what I already knew – that Samantha didn’t sell, despite the 116 views she got. I thought she’d at least get one half-assed bid, but she didn’t even get that. Like I said, I’ll never bother to try to make money again. I’ve learned my lesson.

The hair people also emailed me and confirmed that they are in Moscow and not to bother sending my hair since the postage would exceed the price of it. I’m sure it would, too.

The good news, though, is that I have two Barbies on their way rather than one. This is the last of the Barbies I wanted until new ones come out that I like. This is the Spring Bouquet Barbie. This one’s coming from Tennessee. I’m $35 in debt, but it was a good deal that I didn’t want to pass up, not knowing if another deal that good would come along.

Tom visited Mom, Miss Perfect and Dave yesterday and basically set the stage to ask for a loan next week or the week after. Meanwhile, she threw him one of her famous, piddly $20 bills. See, I know no man or woman who’s had kids could understand this, but she took him away from me when I needed him most back when I wanted a kid. His being around more wouldn’t have given me the child that was never meant to be, but still, she stole our time together and not just our money. Money can be paid back, but the issue for me is the time in which she can never repay. This is why I like to milk out of her anything we can get, and believe me, enough could never be enough. If she gave us a million dollars, even that could never be enough and more would still be greatly appreciated.

Since I’ve been getting a lot of things lately, I think I’ll save my money till after the New Year. I don’t want to be ordering stuff around the holidays anyway when things are more likely to get screwed up. I’ll wait and combine my birthday and Christmas money with whatever I save, then decide what to get then. I’ll probably get Alexa and that Kokopelli Indian doll.

I had positive money vibes between November 23rd and December 27th that had nothing to do with his family, but I don’t trust them since they are positive vibes.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2003 Not surprisingly, there’s not one bid placed on Samantha. There have been just over 100 viewings, but this was the true test. Meaning, I’m really, really not allowed to make money. But why? I just don’t see why it’s such a big deal to God that I don’t make any money. Tom suggested I try to sell something else, but no way. I know what can happen to me for going against what’s been ordered of me. If God said no to my making money, then the answer’s no, and as unfair and as wrong as that is, I have no choice but to go along with it or I’ll be punished.

I asked myself yesterday since it’s going to be a while before we’re doing better financially, if I wanted to continue saving up for Haiku now or wait till there is more money. I decided that if I found a buy-it-now price on the Red Hot Barbie, the last of the 3 divas I’ve been wanting, for $25, I’d go for it, but I found one for $20! It’s in L.A. and was sent yesterday. Monday’s a holiday, but I probably won’t get it till Saturday anyway, cuz that just seems to be the usual day dolls arrive.

God may be able to keep me from making money, but he can’t keep me from the freebies! I’ve been ordering tons and tons of free samples. In about 4-6 weeks we should be getting slammed with samples. I wish I’d kept a list of everything we’re getting. I entered Tom to win power tools, too. Let’s see, of the samples I can remember, there are things like a Celine Dion perfume sample. I didn’t even know she was doing that. There are tooth-whitening samples, tea, tampons, lotions, shampoos, conditioners and so much more.

We’re going to be bombing later on because spiders are back to showing up every day. I can delay, but not prevent us from having to bomb. We’re gonna go to Home Depot in Casa Grande to get cement to finish the rest of the posts for the outer fence we were ever so fated never to have. Watch, with our shit luck, circumstances will conveniently prevent us from ever having a pool or porches or an interior fence. It’s like something doesn’t want us making ourselves more comfortable here. I always knew that anyway and that something up there was against our moving out here in the first place.

This has been the quietest hunting season ever. They’re not even hunting on weekends. I wonder if they’ve been banned from doing so due to the population build-up out here.

I’m over 1000 points at Memolink, but there’s no way we’re going to be able to activate the casinos. Why should we? It’d mean more money for me.

I finished my book yesterday and it’s definitely my best work yet if I do say so myself. Mary and Bob will have their copies by the end of next week, but the liar won’t. I’m through doing for her and giving to her. All she had to do was say she couldn’t afford the $28 or that she wasn’t interested. That’s all she had to do. I still don’t see why the truth is so hard for so many people. Why does yes mean yes, and why does yes also mean no with most people?

To give a brief story plot summary, Misha Nichols witnesses a convenience store robbery turned to murder and is placed in the Witness Protection Program. Detective Dale Richardson sees her at the Sacramento police station and likes what she sees. She takes her into her Ukiah home and finds the feeling is mutual. Soon, the crooks are caught, she testifies at their trial, and life goes on. They marry and Misha is artificially inseminated but suffers a miscarriage. Then she slips, hits her head and gets a concussion that causes her to have memory lapses and mood swings. Dale asked the department shrink, Gail Kinkade to talk with Misha. Misha gets a bad feeling from the doctor who kidnaps her just as she regains her memory of the fall and the concussion heals and Misha gets well again. Then, Misha is held hostage in Yreka by Gail for 8 months, along with another young lady. Gail is full of strange moods and illusions. Misha one day breaks away just as Dale finds and rescues her. Afterward, she and Misha have a child and live happily ever after.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2003 Still no bids on Samantha. Now all I have to do is hope a couple of the 73 viewers return soon enough to make a bid, but I know they won’t. I don’t think there’s a money block on me at this point, I know there is. This is why it’s important I don’t bother to try to sell anything else. Not just because it’d be a waste of time, but because I’d more than likely be asking God to sic the devil on me by going against him.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 8, 2003 Surprisingly, I’m still 127 pounds and I shit both yesterday and today. Still, I know I can’t stay where I’m at forever.

Tom suggested we keep the suppressants and vitamins they sent anyway, so I was like, yeah, yeah, okay. These pills would be ideal for people with normal metabolisms. They really do suppress the appetite. I took a vitamin, but if I start getting sluggish again, I’ll stop. It just seems like an expensive way to suppress one’s appetite, though, and as I said, I can’t hold my weight where it’s at forever.

As for the Russian hair people, I have a feeling I won’t be hearing from them again. I totally enjoy being a Baldilocks, though (especially when you compare this length to what I had before). How easy it is to care for and live with! It doesn’t look as good, but hey, if I were into looks as much as I once was, then I would starve myself day after day.

Samantha’s up to 54 views, but still no bids. I swear I’ll never ever bother ever again to try to make money! It’s so not meant to be.

Got a letter and drafts from Mary today. If all her correction requests were as easy as they were this time around, then she could have me as an editor as well. As I told her, deleting, adding and changing words is no problem. It’s the moving of sections that often frustrates and confuses me.

In better news, for just $1, I got 250 points and a $20 Toys R Us card. I joined a game site through Memolink. If you like it, you do nothing and your credit card is automatically billed monthly, but you can cancel anytime and still keep your points and gift certificate, which is just what I’m going to do. I have 15 days to do it. I’ll probably do it in a week. I just wanted the points and the certificate for a Barbie. I’m up to 818 points and we still don’t know if we’ll be able to get into the casinos.

I saw a movie with Amish people in it. Maybe it’s just my hate-everyone nature, but they make me sick! Not like other races do. They’re not vicious, just stupid and somewhat disturbed. To live in the past as if it were still the 1800s just seems really asinine. Why not take advantage of modern conveniences? It just seems like if you have to play pretend, so to speak, and live in a whole different world and time long past, you’re stuck in a time warp or in denial about reality. It just seems as silly as it’d be to have an infection and not take the antibiotics available that can end your misery and maybe even save your life.

I also dislike the Amish because they’re very Bible-oriented which means they’re prejudiced against gays. From everything I’ve been told, the bible preaches hatred towards gays. It also condemns women and makes them sound like inferior beings who are worthy of nothing more than domination, control and pain. It suggests women were merely put here to marry, bear children, and please man. It seems very few religious people don’t hate gays. Mary’s such a rare case. One couldn’t get any more tolerant and accepting than she is if they tried! I truly believe that a different woman could rape Mary every day for a year and still she wouldn’t have one prejudiced bone in her body.

Same with Tom. When I asked him if he’d be friends with a gay guy he said, “Why not? It’s the person you’re friends with, not their sexual preference.” As anyone knows, straight guys are the biggest bigots when it comes to gays, so that was cool of him. Tom’s definitely never been your typical straight guy. I mean, he is as far as the fact that he stinks when he does something physical and he’s a slob, but how many straight guys can tolerate gay guys and no sex? Not many!

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 7, 2003 Wow, I’m only 127 pounds. Let me guess – that means I’ll be stuck today. I always get stuck when I’m 127. It’s like it’s my body’s way of resetting me back to 130. I’ll probably be 140 by the new year. I told Tom to send back the pills if they arrive today. There’s no sense in taking vitamins that only make me sluggish, and why take appetite suppressants if I can’t lose weight?

I did get a letter from Bob today describing all the horrible things he’s had to endure since being incarcerated. On his first day in Walpole, the guards lifted his balls to be sure nothing was taped under them, then they slid a gloved finger up his ass. That is, without Vaseline. Then they threw him in a cell loaded with shit and roaches till they moved him to a filthier cell 15 minutes later. Then he lived in a rat and roach-infested cell for 3 days and 3 nights. On the fourth day, two guards roughed him up, giving him a concussion by slamming him into the wall, twisting his arm up behind him, and punching him in the stomach. This was when they shipped him out to Concord where they searched him again in the same manner while receiving nasty comments about his privates from gay women guards. He was there for 3 months, got into a food fight with 200 people, then was shipped to where he is now. He was initially in a dorm with 42 guys where he was jumped on, knocked down, scalded in the shower, and pissed on in his sleep. He got things thrown at him, water poured on him while trying to write letters, and things stolen from him. Of course, the welfare bums had to beat him up.

They did follow through with sending the coupon for $7 off on tooth whitening strips, but I’m pissed at Paula for lying yet again and saying she was going to send the money for Yves. See, it’s this kind of behavior that makes me want to isolate myself even more. Why can’t people just do the things they say they’re going to do?! Why couldn’t she just come out and say she couldn’t afford it or wasn’t interested? Why is that such a big deal for her? No one can put their fucking actions where their mouths are!

As for Mary making bullshit promises about not sending back drafts to shuffle, the way I’m going to deal with that is to stop sending her copies. That way she won’t have the drafts to keep sending back.

I don’t know if Samantha will sell, though she’s had 32 views, but I might have sold my hair after all! Even if I get shit for it, it’s better than nothing. I got an email back from one of the few people I emailed asking if they bought human hair. They said that the price depends on the length and if it’s colored or gray, but to go ahead and send them the length of the hair. The only problem is I don’t have an address, so I’m waiting on that from them. It may take another 24 hours before I hear back from them.

Later…

My first thought was that if Samantha got no bids, I’d put one plate and one fashion doll up for auction, but no I won’t. Because if I’m right, and I’m sure I am, about a rule being placed on me about making money, then I’d only be asking to get punished if I try and defy it. Nonetheless, Samantha’s up to 36 views.

Tom said that what they meant when they said: “send us the length of your hair” was to tell them how much I cut off, not send the hair. I told them how much was cut off, but these people are in Russia and I agree with Tom that there’s no way they’re going to buy someone’s hair from the US. Why they even bothered to ask for the length, beats me. I told them up front where I am.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 6, 2003 I can see where Tom doesn’t think Samantha will sell. I went and looked and at least half or more of the porcelain dolls don’t have bids on them. Even those that are about to end. I’m still afraid that I won’t be able to sell her either way, but we’ll see. At least she’s getting a lot of viewings. We’re up to 15 in just 6 hours.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 5, 2003 Samantha is officially up for auction now. In just a few hours, she’s had 7 viewings. The auction closes in 7 days, next Sunday the 12th at about 7 PM. It cost $3.35 to list her. The only extra feature I paid for, but that only cost 10¢, was to add a second picture. I wanted to have a picture of her from head to toe, then a close-up of her face. I’m going to do the same with Amelia, but not with the fashion dolls. I’ll have two pictures for each collector’s plate too, showing the certificate on back of them.

Anyway, I set a reserve of $90 on Samantha and a starting bid of $50. The shipping is $15 and the optional insurance is $2. Tom doesn’t think she’ll sell because of all the porcelain dolls he’s seen with no bids on them. Time will tell. I still do have a no-making-money-allowed curse on me, but maybe, just maybe, I’ll be allowed to have a little control over that for once. I won’t get my hopes up, though. As it was, I was right about us not being able to find someone to buy my hair.

Speaking of that, it’s now to my shoulders! Yes, I could get used to this for a while. So much so that I haven’t decided whether or not to keep it this way for a while or to just let it go back to the middle of my ass which will only take a little less than 4 years. Since I’m not taking vitamins I’m hoping it won’t grow so fast. If I had the thin straight hair I always wished I had, then I’d probably leave it long.

Wow! In just the time it took for me to write what I’ve written so far, Samantha got two new views! I just hope someone bids rather than just looks and that I get compensated for my not being able to generate money in so long that they bid even higher than the reserve! If there are bids, though they don’t meet the reserve, I’ll probably run her for another week. If no one bids at all, then I’ll just assume the rule still applies to me not being allowed to make money and I’ll just keep her. I don’t expect people to start bidding, though, till Friday or Saturday.

What a great way to make money this would be if I only had merchandise to sell that was as popular as Barbie. I’d never have to leave the house but to pick up the merchandise for sale and send it to the buyer from the PO.

The girl who sold me this Barbie did give me positive feedback, so now I have 3.

If Samantha sells, I’m going to go ahead and get haiku, then, if all else sells as well, I’m going to get this fantastic new Indian doll Ashton-drake just got in. That will mean getting Alexa with my holiday money instead of Becky. Anyway, this doll is like a ballerina Indian doll. It’s so cool. She stands on the ball of one foot while the other leg is raised to the side and bent at the knee with her toe pointed like a ballerina. Her arms are stretched up and outwards. She’s supposed to be doing an old Indian dance to music played by a flute. She’s called Legend of the Kokopelli Doll. With shipping, she’s $143.

Getting back to my hair, I placed it in a Ziploc bag and dated it. I figured it’d be cool to save it since I can’t sell it. What a tremendous weight off my head! We made two sections and put elastics an inch below where Tom made the initial cut. After they were cut off and I held the two sections in my hand, I was like – wow! These are heavy! I may lose a pound just from cutting this 16” of hair. Washing it is so much easier and quicker and it’s heaven not having to spend 20 minutes brushing through knots. It’ll be much easier to do a French braid and high-pitched ponytails. I won’t have to sleep with it braided for a while. Before, the only way I could sleep with it was to braid it and throw the braid up over the pillow. I haven’t had it this short since I lived on Oswego St. in Springfield. I’d never go above the shoulders. Hair above the shoulders, in my opinion, detracts from a woman’s femininity.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 4, 2003 It’s been exactly 6 years since I quit smoking!

If we can ever get signed up at one of the casinos through Memolink without all the damn technical problems, I’ll be awarded 8000-9000 points. I already have 729. All I need is 8300 for a $50 Walmart certificate which is what I’ll get and have Tom turn into cash for me. That’s what I’m going to use, along with the money I’m now saving, for Haiku. It could take some serious time, though. It can take 6-12 weeks for me to receive the certificate, then 6-8 for Haiku to be made, so it might be as long as 5 months. I might receive Haiku and Becky around the same time cuz as soon as Tom picks up our holiday money, I plan to order Becky. Alexa will hopefully come via eBay sale money as I said earlier.

I know we paid a fortune for it, but I’m gonna give the Bowflex a break for a while. I figure why build muscle if you can’t lose the fat? All I’m gonna do is crunch every other day. If I don’t I’ll get a bad back. On non-crunch days I’ll jog/walk for 15 minutes. I really meant it when I said I was tired of trying to lose/maintain weight! I’m done with it. Totally done with it. I think I’ll end up as enormous as Tammy did. I’ll be able to wear the same shirts for a while, and socks, of course, but I’ll need new pants, shorts, bras and underwear. I’ll get clothes as I need them at Walmart since they’re usually cheap there and that’s where we’re doing our grocery shopping.

I gave it some thought and decided that I’m also sick of the really long hair. Just the weight, the work, the hassle and it always getting in the way. Besides, if they’re seriously going to send the dye, it’ll make it a lot easier if we cut it to the shoulders or maybe an inch below. I’m still going to dye it even if they don’t send it. I’ll put a hold on the trimmer for now, too.

Later…

We’re not sure at this point whether or not we’re going to even be able to get into any of the casinos through Memolink. The problem is that there are so many blocks on those residing in Arizona, because everything’s illegal here, including gambling from your own PC. We should know for sure in a few days. Tom’s researching other ways to get in.

My Swan Lake Barbie came today. It wasn’t quite what I had pictured. See, there are a few different versions of Barbie as Swan Queen from the Swan Lake ballet. I wanted the one with fully pointed toes versus partially pointed ones, but she’s still nice enough to keep. I considered turning around and selling her but decided not to. She wears white lace-up ballet slippers, shimmering tights, and a white tutu/bodice with light blue and white beading at the chest. The shoulders and head have clumps of feathers. She has rooted eyelashes and her dark brown hair is back in a sort of French twist with strings of pearls woven through it. She has a little silver crown, too.

I researched Melatonin and Benadryl to see if they said anything about it affecting the metabolism, but the results of my research were rather inconclusive. It’s like I always have questions and theories, but never any answers. Just what did impair my metabolism and is it forever damaged? What exactly killed my desire for sex with Tom? Was it just time and age?

I’m probably going to return the appetite suppressants and vitamins whenever they get here because there’s no point in suppressing my appetite if I can’t lose weight anyway. Also, over the last few days I’ve been out of vitamins and having nothing but my calcium supplement and have noticed I’ve had more energy. Maybe vitamins really do make you more sluggish. They do with Tom.

After Tom tinkered with the truck, we played ring toss for a while. The weather was nice today. Not so hot. Naturally, that meant the renters were out and about. They gagged me out on smoke as they were burning trash, but at least they’re burning it and not letting it blow over to us!

Tom brought up a good suggestion which I myself thought of, and that’s to see if I can sell my hair. Tomorrow he’s going to do online research and see if that will be a possibility, but he says he doubts it because people usually buy hair from people in other countries who are desperate for money that they’ll take anything they can get no matter how shitty it is, unlike Americans who expect more money. Just God’s Jodi’s-not-allowed-to-make-money rule that he’s had on me for the last decade is enough to tell me I’ll never sell it.

I don’t even know if I’ll be able to sell these dolls and plates. We set up a PayPal account in my name and the plan is to set a reserve price of $90 on Samantha and a starting bid of $50. I wanted to have only a buy-it-now option of $99, but you have to have at least 10 positive feedback messages and I only have two. After leaving positive feedback for the girl that sold me the Swan Lake Barbie, I urged her to do the same for me but I don’t know for sure that she will.

Anyway, with all the millions of eBay users, I’d think that somebody somewhere would see Samantha and realize that $90 is a good price for a dressed doll with her certificate. They won’t know I set the price at $90, though, because buyers are never told what the reserve is that’s been set. Still, I’d think someone somewhere would want her and the other things I want to sell.

Mary’s continuing to drive me crazy with the changes and shuffling. Why doesn’t she listen to me when I tell her over and over and over again I’m her typist only, not her editor? Why won’t she just wait till she’s out of there? She can’t have any money till she’s out anyway. Sometimes I wonder if she really reads my letters or if some of them don’t make it to her. She can’t seem to handle the simplest of requests like editing, her using little to no punctuation, etc. I have to fight tooth and nail to get answers from her to questions I ask like what letter number she’s up to. It’s like we have more of a business relationship than a friendship. Especially since she sends way more drafts than letters and ignores my questions like how her life is, what her cellies are like, the officers, the food, etc.

Finally, I realized that while I still want to be her friend, maybe I’m just not cut out to work for her. Maybe she needs to find a typist who will also act as editor because I just don’t always understand the changes she asks me to make.

Although I begged her not to, I’m sure the latest copy of her book will find its way back to me with shuffling requests, and like I told her, while she may’ve given me a generous supply of stamps, I don’t have an endless supply of paper and ink.

Meanwhile, I told her to think about how important having an editor and not waiting is to her and to let me know what she decides.

As I told her, I also question Scot’s credibility. It just doesn’t seem right for a lawyer to be promising to help her find a publisher when he should know that that’s illegal because she’s in jail. I’m afraid that like most people like to do, he’s just getting her hopes up for no reason and making false promises.

I’m afraid Mary’s just too hopeful and too naïve. Tom said he thinks quitting on Mary is a bad idea because he thinks I can get a good chunk of money if she does sell her story, but I know better than to get my hopes up, and I still say I’m never going to be allowed to make money. Do you know how many times I’ve been so sure that I was going to succeed with this or succeed with that? Or believed that one thing would lead to another thing and so on and so forth? Too many times! Life really is full of many disappointments if you even think for a second that life is what you plan it because it’s not. We’re all leaves blowing in the wind, destined to end up wherever we’re fated to go, not where we say we’re going. Those who say we’re in the driver’s seat of our destinies are dreaming. Some have more control than others, but for the most part, I really believe we’re like puppets in a play and that God’s written all our scripts out before humans even existed. We’re each assigned our own individual roles from there on out till the day we die.

As anyone who knows me already knows, one of God’s “themes” for me is to be an underdog stuck in bad places. Well, I keep having these disturbing dreams. In last night’s nightmare, I was thrown in jail for murdering someone I never heard of. I woke up fearing that this was a sign saying I’d one day be framed for murder and I hope not! I sure hope not. I hope it’s nothing more than paranoia that spawns these dreams. I would never and could never kill anyone for the hell of it that wasn’t trying to kill me, and last I knew, self-defense was legal even in Arizona. I could and would kick the shit out of someone who wasn’t trying to harm me, but kill? No way. I could beat up someone who either threatened me or Tom, destroyed our property or whatever. Like with most people, there are numerous things that could cause me to attack someone like if someone were suddenly here and trying to hurt the rats, smash the dolls, whatever. Everybody’s different. The quickest way to get me after you would be to threaten me, but anyway, I just hope these dreams are just dreams because when I think about it, being framed for murder and stuck in jail is totally something God would see fit to happen to me.

I guess Tom’s going to be stuck where he’s at for a while and we’re just going to have to make do with what he’s making there and hope we don’t encounter any financial crises. He just doesn’t have time to do daytime interviews when he’s working days. Somehow, I also get the feeling he’s not meant to have a good-paying job for a while anyway. It’s like we’re being compensated for doing well like we were for a while. Same with the scratch tickets. We’ve been losing horribly as compensation for that $100 winner he had. I’m not even going to bother getting tickets for a month or so.

Anyway, the people at work are back to making their bullshit promises, promising him his own computer and shit like that. As I told him, low-paying jobs are always going to promise this and promise that. That’s how they hang onto their employees.

I suggested that since I’m not going to bother with the water pills, I have a lifetime supply of snot spray, I can get inhalers over the counter, and he ought to jump back on unemployment if he can and aggressively hunt for a new job. While he’s at it, we’ll just hope to hell neither of us gets any serious illness or injuries.

The good thing about it is that they no longer ask why you left your old job, so that’s good. Back east when I was in my late teens/early twenties, you had to list your last few jobs and why you left.

We talked about how we hope to one day have the money to buy a small Bobcat tractor. We could rent one for a weekend for $200, but since we’d need it for longer than that, we’d be better off buying an old used junky one for $600. We could dig a pool with it, build hills out of dirt and who knows what else?

Using the best software he can find, we’re going to do a landscaping layout of what we want to plant where.

I just hope we can carry out these plans, but like I said, life often isn’t what you plan it.

Again I got woken up by God knows what for a few minutes, and it was exactly 4 hours after I first fell asleep.

I think it’s sad, but safe to say that whoever got my letter in Mexico was not Rosa. Guess I’m not as good of a stalker as I thought I was! I’m not sure what, if anything, I’m going to do from here.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3, 2003 It got really windy today and the flag woke me up momentarily a few hours before I actually got up. Yeah, I knew I was due for a wake-up call anytime. I think I might remove the flagpole and quit the flags. I only have two left anyway and they’re kind of boring. I’ll just keep the little ones going that are outside my office window.

I lost one of the two remaining Barbies I wanted on eBay. Perhaps I’ll take a break from Barbie for a while and save up for Haiku, a doll I’ve been wanting for quite a while. Then, if all goes well, I’ll get Alexa with my eBay sales and either Becky or Bailey with my birthday and Christmas money.

I got my coffee samples today, which were good, but the liars never included the digital camera. They included the grinder, but the camera’s only if you order again. I told Tom I’d let him decide that. If he wants the camera that bad, I’ll order more.

I read in one of Trimlife’s emails that although water pills may temporarily rid you of excess water, they can also impair your metabolism. If it weren’t for so many doctors not informing me up front of the various side effects I’ve had, I wouldn’t be so quick to believe it, but because of my experiences, I totally believe it. Therefore, I’m not getting a refill on the stuff, even though I could now since we’re now insured again. No one told me that the inhalers caused congestion, no one told me about the TD till I got it, and no one told me the Aerobid inhalers can drive you crazy. Doctors never tell you what you should know about the medications they prescribe.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 2, 2003 The smaller angelfish died today, so now we’re down to the big angelfish, the algae-eater and one guppy. A clever idea hit me. Since I hardly use the big garden tub, I decided to fill it, stick the aerator in it, and make it their home. What better and easier way to change their water than to just pop open the drain?

It appears that the house is now in place for good, judging by the sound of the hammering I heard over there. Plus, the plastic sheet that covers the open half of the house is now off and the two halves are nearly joined. The good news is that it’s barely visible both inside and outside the house, but the bad is that it is still facing us, though not squarely. It’s sort of facing between us and next door. Hopefully, the fact that their house faces west will deter them from hanging out front and anchoring their dogs in front as well, but we’ll see.

Later…

Tom and I went to Casa Grande earlier for dinner. We went through KFC’s drive-thru for me, then went through Whataburger for him. It was the first time I really rode in the truck and how wonderful it was to have the AC! It was loud, though, and the turn signals were a little screwy. Also, the cluster of dashboard instruments was sort of dim.

This weekend will be our second attempt to get me signed up at that Desert Dollar casino. It just didn’t go through the first time around.

There’s also going to be a delay in getting started with selling stuff, too. Without thinking about it, Tom went and got a PayPal account in his name which doesn’t allow people to pay via credit card, so he’s going to get one set up in my name that will have that option. If it’s in my name, I can get credit through Memolink.

Last night I stumbled upon an excellent deal on eBay on one of the two last Barbies I want to get before the 2004 line comes out. Someone placed a bid earlier which I went and topped. If I win it’ll cost $25 and will come from Phoenix. Tomorrow or the next day I should get the one I won last weekend.

One of the survey sites is starting to really pick up in surveys, and therefore in points as well. Instead of being given a million in one chance to win a million dollars or something like that or having various prizes to choose from when you accumulate so many points, it’s a penny a point with them, so 1000 points is $10.

One of them mentioned sending hair dye to use as part of a survey, so he got me two boxes of dye of either brown or auburn. Whatever it was is going to fry my hair so I kind of hope they don’t send it despite all the gray I’ve been accumulating. I don’t think they will, though. Do you know how many people said they were gonna send this or they were gonna send that that never did? A lot! I was supposed to get pain relievers, magazines, tooth whitening strips, etc., yet they’re all full of shit. Why people feel so compelled to say they’re going to do things they don’t intend to do is beyond me.

Tom said he’s thinking of asking Mom for some money at the end of the month with the hopes of her giving more than he asks for.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 1, 2003 How sad it is to know you have to burn 3500 calories to lose a pound, but it only takes 1400 of food to gain one. Nobody should gain weight from 1400 in a day. Nobody. There’s got to be some other reason I gain weight so easily besides age. Is God just that determined to see I don’t get my way or what?

Of course, I’ve been stuck for days, too.

Once again, I’m so close to saying fuck it! But saying that and eating what’s considered to be a reasonable amount of food, versus trying to have 1400 or less, means gaining tons and tons of weight. I don’t want to spend my extra money on clothes as I continually go up in size.

I also don’t want to feel like I’m starving half the time just to stay 30 pounds overweight either.

If it’s any consolation to myself it’s that I don’t have to deal with this problem if I choose not to. I was forced, for example, by the freeloaders but no one can force me to deal with this not being able to lose weight shit if I don’t want to. Nonetheless, I agreed to go along with Tom’s suggestion. He’s going to measure the ratios of the different food groups for us for a few weeks and see what we’re taking in. Then, it’s off to the doctor. I’m going to tell them, look, I’ve been working out, drinking lots of water, eating sensibly, so what’s going on here? Tom says there are several possibilities. He said I could have diabetes which my mother and grandfather had. As funny as it may sound, I hope they do find something wrong because then I’ll at least understand what’s going on and have a shot at doing something to make losing weight possible once again. But if they come up empty, then I’ll know something up there’s doing this to me just to do it and not letting me lose weight just to have control over me and piss me off.

Something’s gotta be wrong. I understand that losing weight gets harder with age, but impossible? Totally impossible? I can’t even get down to 125 anymore! After a week of nearly starving myself to death, I can lose a few pounds, but as soon as I have a measly 1400 calories like I did yesterday I go back up.

[thecraftyfoxthewriterscorner]

Editing Tip #5: Editing for Variation

A couple of line and copyediting tips to help you make your story shine. ✨

Hey Story Crafters,

Fall is in the air! The days are getting shorter and cooler, and pumpkin spice is back on the menu. I’m not really a fan of cooler weather, but low humidity and crisp air is pretty nice.

In this post, I want to cover a couple of line and copyediting tips that you can use during revision to help make your story shine even more. These tips are best used after you’re confident in and happy with your story from a big-picture level (in other words, after all the developmental editing is done).

If you’re just starting out as a writer, this might be a higher level of self-editing than you want to tackle at this point of your career. You still might want to check out the following tips, just to see if you want to add them to your self-editing toolbox to use in the future.

Word Choice Variation

Ever sit down to revise your story, switch out a word to introduce a little variation (like switching “amazing” to “awesome”), only to realize that you used that word earlier in the same paragraph? Or even just in the previous sentence?

It happens to me a lot as a writer. And it can happen during revision, or during the initial process of writing (because we all have a few words that we tend to fall back on and overuse). There are words that are expected to be frequently used (e.g., “and”, “said”, “the,” etc.), and because they are used so frequently, they tend to fade into the background. They don’t draw attention to themselves. But then there are less frequently used words that do draw attention, which makes it more obvious when they are used close together.

This is where the Search/Find function in your word processer comes in handy. Just type in the word you want to search for, and review how frequently that word appears in your story, and where that word appears. Depending on the results, you might want to consider switching up your word choice.

Sentence Length Variation

If you want to experiment with tone and mood, varying the length of your sentences can give you different effects, depending on what you’re going for.

For example, long, flowing sentences can help give a sense of continuous movement.

On the other hand, if you’re going for bursts of impact, short, punchy sentences will be the way to go. Just. Like. This.

Depending on the point of view you’ve chosen to use to tell your story, there is a delicate balance between your writerly voice and the POV character’s voice. But this is still a technique you should keep in mind, whether you use it as a writing exercise or try to incorporate into your writing.

As a writing exercise, you can take one block of text and try writing it from a different POV character, using sentence length variation to reflect a specific POV character’s personality.

Upcoming Events

ACES VCON 2024: This week is the ACES: The Society for Editing Virtual Conference! I’m super psyched to attend and learn from my fellow editors.

Flights of Foundry 2024 (September 27-29): Back for its 5th year this weekend is Flights of Foundry, the virtual, worldwide event for speculative creatives! I’ll be a participating on 2 panels: Let’s Fight! [Hour 4.0 = 4PM ET on Friday, September 27] and Ask an Editor (Session 1 of 2) [Hour 29.0 = 5PM ET on Saturday, September 28]

Also, I’ve still got a few editing slots open for this year! If you’ve recently finished a project (whether it’s a short story collection, a novella, or a novel) and you’re looking for an editor, please get in touch.

Send me an email!

Until next time!

Best,

Leah

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