#if nothing else—cancel them out
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You cannot vote your way out of fascism.
But you can sit and allow fascists to vote you into fascism.
Which is a problem, since you cannot vote your way back out.
Fascists would love nothing more than for you to abstain from voting.
#I guarantee that fascists are lining up in droves to vote#if nothing else—cancel them out#it’s an event horizon and we’re in the hottest parts of the accretion disk#us politics#world politics
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Roshan walks with the two Potts, gazing around at the fields and forests painted in warm colors by the setting sun. He remarks, "It is a lovely view from here."
Gazing outward, past the broken walls he had put up 20 years ago, Arthund nods and says, "Forgot. Forgot how... how pretty it all is."
I recently finished running an original oneshot for some friends, The Reaching Woods. It was a story about a little village surrounded by a big wall and the nearby forest's sudden overgrowth threatening to crush it all. It was also a story about blame and guilt.
Arthund Potts, when we met him, could barely speak at all. Too many years spent drinking and weeping. If he was even conscious he was all grunts and sloppy gestures. The scene above was at the end of the oneshot (okay, eighteenshot), once the party returned from the dark, evil woods.
#dungeons and dragons#dnd#dnd art#dnd character#not my character#roshan#aasimar#oneshot#the reaching woods#my first time DMing!#i couldn't find anything i wanted to run so i just made something up#oneshot starting with the saddest little village with the three saddest old people (and an old dog) around#started with my love of the “little village with a big secret” setup#almost certain it started with the general Feeling of that little village in An American Werewolf in London#nothing else in common but i just love that vibe you know#anyway#the joke with this campaign was it was going to end with The Greatest Fire Known to Faerun#and if they DID burn the evil woods down that I would then make them play a party of fire investigators trying to find out what happened LO#and it did end with a fire#but fortunately it did not spread throughout the forest#oh yeah there was also a sacrifice-happy cannibalistic frog kingdom#ANYWAY...#good job party#roshan's an aasimar btw#he's got this aureola around his head#imagine your little village being saved by an angel...................#though there was a tiefling in the party too so they canceled each other out#anyway....#this scene felt so emotionally satisfying
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LOVE when the pharmacy decides to fucking dick around with my meds so badly that now I’m off my mood stabilizer, my pain meds, and my fucking birth control (in a few days) because they’re insisting I should have extra fucking bottles of each one and I DONT because they don’t let me pick up more than a one month supply of narcotics at a fucking time so do explain where these extra bottles are, hmm ????? and they didn’t have enough caplyta ordered last time to even give me my usual 3 months supply of that so … ???? get your fucking heads out of your asses and give me the fucking meds you owe me ??? like ??? but I’m in a nasty headspace right now so if I call the pharmacy this morning, I’m going to be that cunt ass customer they bitch about all day because this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. in fact, the first time, they straight up committed insurance fraud by marking one of my scripts as filled and picked up WHEN, IN REALITY, THEY FUCKING LOST THE SCRIPT AND HAD NO RECORD OF IT BEING FILLED OR PICKED UP IN THEIR SYSTEM, BUT YET, MARKED IT AS SUCH AND CHARGED MY INSURANCE AN ALMOST 8 GRAND FOR THE FUCKING 3 MONTHS OF MY MOOD STABILIZER THAT I. NEVER. RECEIVED. I’m genuinely about to report this entire pharmacy to the pharmacy board because I’m so fucking done with this place. it needs to be shut the fuck down because you’re telling me, out of an entire pharmacy, y’all share the same IQ point AND dead brain cell, collectively ??? then don’t fucking work in healthcare where people rely on you to know your shit and keep track of their fucking meds because you’re just constantly making shit worse on people since you can’t seem to not fuck around with these meds and not ‘lose’ scripts. fuck out of here.
and I’m pretty much out of weed, which is usually my back up pain management method, without the money to afford a delivery order by their cut off time to order in 3 hours because I just paid my fucking bills and have SOME to go towards it, but not enough for delivery to be free, and I’d still have to walk my ass to one of the ATM’s nearby because they don’t accept my bank as a prepaid method OR any of the cards I have on my person. 🫠
I can literally feel my back spasming and seizing on and off while I’m laying on my fucking side, I’ve had a migraine with a stupid ass aura for almost a week now because chronic migraines fucking suck and i was REALLY hoping this one would be over by now, my muscle inflammations that my pain meds are supposed to limit are already beginning to start their itching deep in my muscles so soon they’ll blossom into a whole fibromyalgia fucking episode and become entirely inflamed, my joints in my hands fucking hurt because of the dreary weather so I really need to get into a rheumatologist at some point soon as well and get that shit figured out, I’m nauseas as fuck from all the pain, and I’m moody, hormonal, and just feel like fucking death physically.
I’m just. I give up.
this shit is exhausting and painful and so mentally fucking taxing to constantly deal with and I just want a fucking break from all this fucking shit. I wish I could just … not exist … for even just a little while with how fucking painful existing actually feels right now 🫠😭
#i hate that CT weed is so fucking expensive#half a fucking ounce shouldn’t cost me $250 …….. not when I can go to MA and get an ounce for $108 after tax ……..#but I don’t have a way to MA because my fucking best friend. who made plans with me OVER THE WEEKEND. HER. SHE INITIATED THEM.#canceled on me last second even though I texted her early the night before when I know she would see it 🫠#nope instead she waited from the text I sent at 6:30pm until noon the next day to cancel because her period is kicking her ass#NOT FOR FUCKING NOTHING BUT SO THE HELL IS MINE ???? AND IM ANEMIC ??? AND DEALING WITH ALL THIS EXTRA PAIN ON TOP OF IT ????#and I know I’m being irrational and insensitive because pain tolerance is a sliding scale for everyone#but like fucking come on you do this 3 out of 4 times YOU make the plans to hang out and I’m fucking over it.#plus I’m the one that always pays for everything and does she ever even OFFER to hit me back for the COUNTLESS ounces of weed I’ve got her#all because she couldn’t afford it so I said I’d cover it and she never paid me back. I’ve bought her at least a grand’s worth of weed#just over the last couple months and she’s never ONCE offered to pay me back for a single one#like ……… I don’t expect it. I give if I have it. but you can’t even just offer ??? like the invitation to pay me back would be enough to no#leave m ragingly pissed off and feeling used as an atm again for yet another ‘friend’ because they don’t even OFFER to be considerate#of course I’d say not to worry about it but it doesn’t even cross your fucking head to ask if I want anything towards it#like the next time you get paid ??? when you go and spend your own money on weed that day but can’t reimburse me for anything IVE paid for#oh and I always have to give her gas money if I even simply just want to hang out because she’s always fucking broke somehow#and she works in healthcare like bitch I know what you make and you can’t play that you don’t have enough to get by or throw me 50 bucks#towards YOUR weed that I’m buying every once in a fucking while when I’m already paying for everything fucking else#I’m so angry and I know I’m being irrational and bitchy but this is what happens when you’re tripped off your meds cold turkey#and one of them is a mood stabilizer that makes it so you DONT feel this way about people and aren’t so bitter when you’re let down 🫠🫠🫠#because now my rejection sensitive dysphoria is going to be triggered even easier than usual and I’m just.#I actually fucking give up. I don’t even know what to do here. the pain going through my body is so fucking intense#I keep losing my train of thought because everything hurts and then every once in a while a DIFFERENT pain acts up and throws itself in too#I just. I just can’t fucking win.#I hate fucking struggling with my mental state like this when I’m off my meds.#and because I have to be a month without my stabilizer/pain management/birth control it’s going to take me ANOTHER month to get readjusted#to those in my body so I won’t feel normal again until nearly fucking mid to end January the earliest#and that’s fucking bullshit. I’m going to fucking **** myself by the time I get back on these fucking meds since it’ll take that long#fucking hell I just. I give up. I give in. I’m self isolating and cutting myself off from everyone because it’ll be in THEIR best interest#for me to do so when I can’t control my mind like this. I’m so tired of feeling so fucking shitty and I’ve only been off them for two days
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everytime i think about the new chapter the more and more i like it, it really consolidated yuuta and gojo's characters. the revelation of how the higher-ups were taken down and the set-up for the scene with gojo and yuuta's conversation about what their plan was for gojo's body, in case he lost, might just be the part i find most interesting. all in all, the chapter really highlights the underlying difference between the violence of oppression and the violence of resistence and revolution.
when it comes to yuuta and the archetype of his character he is the pure embodiment of love in the series. if yuuji is able to reach sukuna because he was one with him (love as oneness), yuuta's entire exitence has sorrounded love and, specifically, love as a curse. sukuna's surprise at yuuta's antics come from a place of not understanding love and therefore being unable to conceptualise that yuuta would go so far as betray his own humanity for it. he can't conceive how love can drive a person like yuuta, who's sweet and kind-hearted, to a place as cursed as this - emphasised by the sheer horror and heinosity that is seeing the usage of gojo's dead body with yuuta's innocent expression. but we know that yuuta's journey has always been marked by this concept of love as a curse, starting all the way back in jjk 0 where yuuta's unwillingness to let go of a deceased rika caused her to linger in the world in the form of a cursed spirit. one that yuuta learns to let go of by the end of the story. a lot of what he learns in that moment is about consent and mutuality in love (hence his domain expansion name), and although rika's soul passes and gets freed she is able to manifest her will into her vessel that continues to protect yuuta until this day. yuuta asking gojo for consent to use his body not only consolidates this mutual exchange and respect that he has for those he cares for - which are his main driving force - but is also exactly what separates him from someone like kenjaku, who body hops with total disregard for who they were originally. so there's that layer of irony behind yuuta having rika consume kenjaku to copy his technique and make use of it in a equally disturbing but more compassionate way. which in itself can serve to both question if intent plays a role in absolution and introduce, once again, the idea that humans and curses are not so different, as explored between mahito and yuuji in shibuya with them mirroring each other.
in regards to gojo i think his aknowledgement of his own inertia when it came to the revolution that he was leading was the cherry on top to consolidate who gojo really was as a person. gojo's greatest character flaw was arguably that he simply wasn't radical enough, allowing his students to be targets under the influence of the higher-ups. he had reasons not to kill them, as he explained before in the series, but he still failed to weight the consequences of his own actions and how no one is rewarded by working under a broken system. and i feel like having the youth he guided watching as he killed them is also quite significant as they're followers of this new revolutionary ideology.
i think the shock or impact these violent or twisted acts by the hands of those forced to survive within the status quo (like maki slaughtering her clan, gojo killing the higher-ups, yuuta taking over gojo's body) as a reaction to the violence they're subjeted to by this same system serves some purpose. and i think this is the reason the higher-ups are these anonymous faceless figures, barely-there personalities who have such a big influence in the lives of so many people. even in the real world, and we can think of systems like capitalism and how it exploits people in such a casual way and it relies on that exploration to survive, we sort of take for granted that violence coming from those institutions, having our attention driven away from the minority that's upholding these systems to other things instead. that violence is more "acceptable" because we've been conditioned to it whereas the violence in response to those acts is always met with more scrutiny. and that kind of contextualises why shoko and nanami, for example, much like gojo, aren't really revolutionary with their ideals either - or rather, do not get that priviledge. the difference being gojo was someone these higher-ups were actively afraid of, because if he wanted to, he could have done more. and that's exactly why the instant he was sealed it was the perfect opportunity for them to do whatever they could to prevent him from coming back and place new-drawn targets on the backs of the people gojo was protecting. the gruesome nature of maki slaughtering her clan or the off-putting way people react to yuuta discarding his own humanity and going against what he believes is right to make sure gojo's legacy continues is almost forcing this question of what are people willing to stomach in the name of survival and change.
gojo remembering geto in that crucial moment ("i was falling behind" or "i have to catch up") and just having in mind how they were both so young and naive is so incredibly bittersweet. geto had radical ideals, no matter how misguided. he looked at the world and he had this unshakeable conviction that things couldn't continue to be the way they were. he reached incredibly misplaced conclusions, yes, which came from a place of great pain and alienation, but gojo finally stepping forward to follow that same path, to be more radical, also sort of confirms that things could have been so different if only gojo had the same level of consciousness back then; that they could have found a way better solution together instead of the tragedy that ensued. the parallels between them add an extra layer of wistfulness to their bond, too. their fates have and always will be so intertwined, in such a beautiful and tragic way. and i think geto's unwillingness to force gojo to take a certain path will always be one of the biggest proofs of his love towards him. at the end of the day, even knowing gojo was who he was, geto always seemed to want to protect gojo's path from being stained like his.
at the core, jjk really is a story about revolution and humanity; a story about love and curses and how love is the most twisted curse of all (which has been reinforced over and over again). the fact some are rewarded and some are punished for taking certain paths under the same system is there to convey a very specific message. i really love the incorporation of eastern philosophies within the story and the role horror plays, too. the usage of the genre to deepen the impact of these themes and the way things are introduced with the intention to provoke almost visceral reactions in the readers (much like yuuta's own reaction) also makes the message much more impactful. i think this chapter was great!!!
#idk random rant because i really like 261 and my stsg heart is in shambles i adore them so much and they make me hurt so bad :')#btw people cancelling shoko and hating megumi is so silly#like idk characters aren't one dimensional and shoko much like gojo didn't seem to believe he would lose either#she can care about him and still place him in a pedestal one thing doesn't invalidate the other ashgdaj#she looked so freaking good in the chapter and people started hating her?! give her a break!!! she deals with death everyday since her#adolescence. it was also clearly not that serious?! i thought gojo's comment was lighthearted shdash#that hot woman is commiting medical malpractice and literally doing the impossible. that's so cool!!! feminism :3 let's focus on that#oky but seriously. people do care about gojo!!!#gojo himself doesn't really allow to think of himself as human not even posing the slight possibility of not getting out of it alive...#the power imbalance between him and everyone else except geto is the point#and it's why sukuna was able to have the most balanced fight with him in the first place because of the alienation power brings#can we talk about how yuuji casually asks gojo to put limitless down so he can touch him and yuuta loves gojo so much he is willing to let#go of everything to make sure he didn't die for nothing? he was not unloved. did you see everyone's proud faces cheering him on??#he's their pookie. a very annoying one but still a pookie#gojo satoru#okkotsu yuuta#jujutsu kaisen#jjk 💭
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mordecai is the first funny bitch like spends 90% of his time literally just standing there going "i'm dapressed" to himself while everyone in the vicinity takes potshots and then he's clocking in for the night shift where for the next 9 hours people go "god mordecai would it kill you to act like you're having more fun at the [kills you] factory"
#The First Funny Bitch as a phrase from the ''cain was the first funny bitch'' post that i will use with some flexibility. yaknow.#i love going like oh boy a coworker triumvirate. their funny little guy (other duo going ''i want him dead'')#though it's unfair to the savoys lmfao if he's at best sometimes a desk toy to them: they do at least keep calling him babygirl#and giving him special mordecai invitations (by not inviting him) to their hotel room to try to marry him#so if nothing else we do appreciate adding a ton of flair to [afflicting the autistic coworker]#in turn i appreciate that mordecai and viktor's dynamic probably consisted of mutual ''i Do Not Care if my coworker seems weird''#but outside of that; was anyone at lackadaisy aggrieving mordecai with the style & variety that the savoys bring....perhaps not#an upgrade in that realm....and there seems to be Some mutual [i do not care if my coworker seems weird] there again too lol#even while they've all probably been working together like half a week & haven't all worn their getalong sweater long enough#and already mordecai is doing his [not just literally standing there] rogue lone mystery solving deal lmao. wild card that he is#lackadaisy#oh also speaking of [before mordecai went grr i Hate still working here; ripped off the fridge door; went & got a new Hated job]#it's pure bonus comic realm & particularly Elevated Silly Goofs genre at that; but#points for ivy having that Younger Sibling dynamic w/mordecai w/the implication she takes his forbidden condiments index seriously#and like; in general lol not even just a [it's serious when it comes to dealing with this weird guy] way. all the more powerful for that#wait i nearly forgot to mention the hot new otp: mordecai / j.j.#that's right [sad trombone] providing guy. i know enough. first funny bitch 4 first funny bitch.#[guy doing his own thing & everyone's like Get His Ass] 4 [guy doing his own thing & everyone's like Get His Ass]#and ofc because it is funny in & of itself. & basically like Your New OC. so much room to maneuver that you cannot crash#also hmm like if your nickname for someone is Maybe ''annoying mf'' does it cancel out....eh#numbers flying around intense focus like everything points to ''hatchet would directly translate to hatchette not petit hache''#and if you mon petit hache it (read this w/such a meter that it all rhymes)#900 tons of restraint not going ''wow this is just like analyzing billions'' & by even saying i've managed to avoid as much; now i haven't
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i don;t need it.......
#someone tell me i don't need it..........#ugh. he is so cute sob#i'm just gonna keep this tab open on my browser...#I was trying to see if the toji look-up figure is anywhere bc the place i preordered it STILL doesn't have them#even tho everywhere else has come and gone and he's sold out everywhere??#so really nothing do to but wait and see if it gets fulfilled. and be massively depressed if it gets cancelled :)#all i want is a tiny toji for my desk. it's all i ask#and now tiny rengoku for my desk#if there is an endeavor one i don't wanna know LOL i am too broke#i would buy all of my favs in this style figure it is SO cute sob. why can't i have unlimited money
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absolutely disgusting the way that the violence on my campus this morning is being talked about on the news. reading articles rn and they keep talking about violence on both sides & fighting breaking out ‘between’ the two groups. call it what it fucking was. it’s not two sides being violent, it’s one being attacked by the other. rhetoric matters.
#mads talks#delete later#classes being cancelled is giving me more time to scroll#so I thought ���hey let’s see what they’re saying about this online’#idk it’s just making me so unreasonably angry#like basically everyone here who’s bothered to keep up with what’s going on knows exactly who instigated#and it wasn’t the Palestine protestors#posting here instead of talking to the people I know because my roommate has the most dogshit takes on this situation#she’s like ‘they should’ve just shut down the protests from the beginning’#‘they handled it the best they could’#so I’m walking away and taking a breather or else we’re going to get into a bad argument#the best my ass#what the fuck is campus security here for if they locked student reporters out of the buildings that are supposed to be safe for them#what’s your job even supposed to be if you’re willing to sit and do nothing while students are beaten for four hours?#not equipped to handle it? fine then call someone who is! don’t just let it happen#i can hear and see the news helicopters constantly and it’s pissing me off
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Warabi: holy shit. He's getting canceled all over squitter right now... It's so funny! Apparently you got caught being shitty to his boyfriend and was dining and dashing. He was yelling at him?!
Mahi: from other people's perspectives it kind of looks like that but Neta told me that he just said some fucked up stuff and left......He told me he was okay but............. I'm trying to talk him into putting him on blast on Inkstagram and squitter and have actually get him canceled canceled.
Mizole: heh couldn't be us babe.
Mahi: of course not we're an amazing couple. You're an amazing boyfriend!
Warabi: That's debatable
Neta: Mahi! We need to have a talk about something come to the back!
Warabi: ooooooo looks like someone got caught making out in the store
Mahi: oh cod.... hope I'm not trouble....... If this is about me making out in front of the camera I wasn't aware I was in front of the camera and I'm sorry
Neta: ........................ I'm choosing to ignore that.....*sigh* ok Mahi...... So I've been thinking a lot recently about your work ethics and your contribution to the store and I'm really impressed. You know the ins and outs of the store. You know how to open and close. You ran the store successfully without me being there and you trained Warabi to do the same. I am proud to say that I am promoting you to the store manager.
Mahi: aw nice! What do I do when I'm a store manager?
Neta: with this title I also need to be trained in some of my work that involves counting the money, hiring people, making schedules, ordering supplies from vendors..... It sounds difficult to do but really once you get used to it it's easy....... Plus you get to decide what you want in the store which is pretty cool. You know if you want to sell a certain band you can order that.... You're also in charge of making promotions as well. It will be fun. Trust me.
Mahi: I can put any music and any type of band merch I want. I just have to order it.... I get to make that choice. I get to choose what type clothing we sell anything?
Neta: yes.... I have to approve it first. So don't go fucking crazy all right, this isn't 2010. You don't need to buy checkered belts in bulk okay..... Check what people are buying. If people are buying a lot of '1nk 55' stuff order more '1nk 55' it'll come to you trust me
Mahi: ok..... wow so much power..... Am I able to hire my friends if they want a job?
Neta: I can....i can afford more employees....yeah as long as they do their job and they do it well, you can hire anyone except for your boyfriend
Mahi: He doesn't want to work here anyway
Neta: good..............*sigh* I guess I have to tell this to you eventually........ I'm planning on opening a second store. In arowana Mall and I'm moving to cepha city
Mahi: you're leaving?!? Nooooo... Can I redecorate the store
Neta:.................................... you can change the layout of the merchandise but the color palette and overall setup and design will not change.
Mahi: damn......... So when when are you leaving? Also what if I need you? What if I need your help with something?
Neta: Don't worry, we have three years until the store officially opens. You have three years to learn everything and adjust to your manager role............. by the time I leave you won't need me. You'll be like what? 27 or 28. Almost 30 ha! you old fuck!.....hahahaha. Don't call me when you're back starts hurting after picking up a box
Mahi: you'll be borderline 40! You'd break your hip if you bend the wrong way!!
Neta: hehehe..... well ...... what ever..... Congratulations mahi. You're the manager. Don't fuck this up. I'm counting on you. Okay, this store is like my second child all right. I work too hard for this to go under.
Mahi: All right I won't fuck it up I promis............... my own store....... holy shit
Neta: okay let's go I have to announce the employee of the month.......... ok. Hello everyone, It's the first of the month meaning that it is time to announce employee of the month!
Mahi: I don't even see the point of this. It's always me...
Neta: The employee of the month is going to beeee...............fuck it...... ........Warabi............. Congratulations
Mahi: what
Warabi: Oh my god! I'm so honored! I'm so touched! I can't believe he chose me to be employee the month! When we first met you hated me and now you actually like me...... You like me enough to make me employee of the month in your store!!....*sniff*.... You truly grew as a person
Neta:.......................... Sure. I guess.......... I don't hate you........ stand here so I can take a picture.
Mahi: did ikkan get you to do this?
Neta: no, of course not. This was all my idea. I truly think that he is a good employee
Mahi: I like to remind you that your tentacles are short now.
Neta: huh?
Mahi: I can see your hickey
Neta: Mahi oh my Cod stop being so petty you've been employee of the month how many times??? you're pissed because you're not employee of the month this time?? This is just like the incident with Phoebe, you need to calm down.......... You want to get demoted??
Mahi: I just feel like this one is not fair He had outside help
Warabi: what are whispering about?
Neta: nothing important
Mhai: well it's the-
Neta: If you say it's the principal I'm going to fire you
Mahi: you know I'm right
Neta: ......mahi please
Mahi: He dropped several figures and broke them
Neta: it was just baribari merch nobody buys that shit except for that one kid that smells like eggs...... Come on. Isn't he your best friend? Let him have this.
Mahi: fine......*huff*
Warabi: be honest..... Neta did I actually earn employee of the month or.....
Neta: Yes you did earn employee of the month all by yourself. I hate to admit it but you know I actually........ Have grown to........... like you
Warabi:...* Gasp*.......... ikkan doesn't have to know about use
Neta: I didn't mean it like that
Warabi: It's okay, it'll be our secret. It'll be our own forbidden love ...... kiss me
Neta: hehehe get off me..... I don't know what you have.....hehehehe
Warabi... just one.... just- hold still!..... Just one peck...........just one.......little kiss.... All I want is just- uh- you let taka do worse. What do you have??..... I just want a single kis-[kiss] .....see wasn't so bad!....
Neta:........... Heh... See, now. I'm contaminated... Get back to work
Mahi belongs to @fish-at-fish-fish-resort
#it was just a kiss on the cheek nothing else#taka is getting canceled and has called and DM neta several times to help him#he ignored it#Neta is plan on making a full call out post about taka#also neta and ikkan are together again they're just long distance boyfriends that visit each other from time to time#mahi is store manager technically they can make them self employee of the month every month once Neta leaves#i don't know the full dynamic of Warabi and neta yet but they're bouncing off each other very smoothly when I write them interacting#neta
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my flatmate asking me the day before "do u want to hang out w me and [old friend] everyone else cancelled so I can invite u now" is not the heartfelt offer she thinks it is :^/
#what am i sloppy seconds. fuck off man#i like them both but im not in the place to socialise rn + also it just feels kinda mean. theyve had these plans for weeks#and i wasnt invited bc some of their other friends (who ive never met) didnt want me there which is fair enough ig#even tho their friends complained abt someone else bringing her bf but they both blocked the veto for that. pretty sure ik them-#better than some guy but whatever. i dont rly like their friends anyway bc they only ever have bad things to say abt them#like damn they sound like they have the emotional range of toddlers plus theyre all into shit like genshin. so i wasnt fazed abt it#hope they have a nice time etc but wow sure now theyve cancelled the day before u can invite me as a replacement. yeah thatll do wonders#for the social and self esteem issues i have around being single use and disposable and always on the outside etc yippee#the thing is if i go theyll just talk to each other anyway and leave me to be the fly on the wall like they always do. they dont want#me there they just want an audience i literally have nothing else to contribute i dont think they even like me that much so!#anyway complaint over. genuinely i hope they have a nice time im just annoyed at being treated like that + probably projecting a bit too#its not like i could go if i wanted to anyway bc i have shit to sort out + mail to wait for. maybe next time invite me from the start huh#we had another old friend visit last weekend but those plans were really made without me too and i was just added bc i Live Here so its#kind of unavoidable. but oh well whatever it was nice to see them either way#im too depressed rn to fix my social life or even rely on existing coping strategies in social situations so im having to temporarily#cut it back bc i get too trigger sensitive + dont want to hurt myself or others bc of an arbitrary emotional overreaction#its usually one of the first things to go when im Going Thru It not in a self isolating way but more bc its one of the hardest things#for me to maintain + im pretty self sufficient so its not absolutely crucial. like of course i love my friends but socialising is a#want not a need yknow. eating/sleeping/exercising/hygiene are all more fundamental parts of the engine so i gotta prioritise them#and it sucks but ill survive. anyway sorry for venting on everyones dash so early in the morning i woke up grumpy 👎#i need to get breakfast and then go out. ughhhhhhh okay.#.vent
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Sis: Go make your dnd character in Baldur's Gate or something.
Me: The harengon, or the tiefling? or my retired aarakocra?
Sis: Tiefling, dumbass. I want to see what you can do with that.
Me: I'm not going to make a new character just to roleplay a character I can't do correctly. My only bard- who happens to be a tiefling- is the dark urge, which is far darker than Medli is actually is, no matter the airs she puts on. Also, Med's perma blind. Can't do that to my BG3 character.
Sis: Not without mods, you can't. Bet you someone's already come out for something like that.
Me: Get me the mods required and I'll do the damn thing, bitch. I'll even romance and ascend the damn vampire for you.
#text#dnd story#tag story#so a bit about that aarakocra. It was hilarious.#it was an acquisitions incorporated inspired campaign that got canceled because life got in the way for everyone#but my little Errk was the cartographer of the group#and a rouge who would often attack enemies from the air with her bow#(aarakocra can fly all day and night if they have the right kind of altitude since their wings can lock in place and they can glide)#(something about air currents and being extremely light and whatnot)#but- and this is important#being the cartographer meant that Errk also had to deal with transportation vehicles.#the bird with almost limitless flight had to buy and manage transportation for everyone else!#(150ft flight speed in a single turn with dash action + cunning action bonus dash)#(and being so high above everyone meant that enemies had disadvantage on hitting them as they was usually out of attack range.)#ALSO#Errk's talons also did a 1d4-1 damage to enemies#so occasionally they would end up getting a nat 20 with a whopping 0 critical damage#just imagine getting bitch slapped by a bird with talons and then realizing that... nothing happened.#no pain#no discomfort beyond being tied up and glowered down at by a bird-person#who happened to have body-chucked you into a tree via high speed race through a forest#and they just slapped you for 0 damage#and probably just broke a point on said talons because their strength stat was an 8 (-1).#(would have been so much better if their strength was a -2 modifier. Errk roulette! Will you take damage or none or get healed 1 hit point?#lords help you if you saw them with their bow though#because a +8 to initiative and a +5 to hit meant that they usually were hitting things right off the bat#and being however odd feet in the air above meant they could just let gravity to most of the work with their range#did occasionally suffer a penalty for that kind of attack but the DM did allow Errk to bypass the normal bow range that way#and their alert feat meant that they weren't ever caught off guard even if they weren't focusing on whats around them#FUN FACT! Errk is only 5.
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Does anyone know if there was simonjess crumbs in the justice league book at the time or is it like just in their solo (meaning I need to reread that book again which I was already planning on doing but like still)
#bc from what ive heard its literally all like contained in that book#and then theres green lantern 2021 where they make her yellow and there was the panel where he didn't recognize her#abd like ive seen that. but id heard literally nothing else about that series and then i looked at solicits recently (for like the first#time ever tbh) and there was a totally diff GL book? on like issue no 4 or smth??? and ut looked like it was all about hal which like#LAME. and there was a john thing but im NOT up to date with modern lantern comics at all im still in the exploratory stage#like i feel like ive hit most of the standalone lantern stuff and now am diving into their biggest hits which is why im reading gl 1990 rn#and everything but like. did they really cancel that book only to immediately start a new one......#jfc i know number 1s sell better but just TRANSITION IN THE BOOK?????#i know dc has like forgotten or whatever but you can legit get a new authorial team and just like... swap things up.... its called having#more than 1 run in a book like jesus#look at me complaining when i dont know what im talking about haha 😐#i need to reread their book anyways thats been on my to do ever since i got out of my recent comics slump but still. i miss them#blah#simonjess#simon baz#jessica cruz#green lantern#dc comics
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my roommate just told me that she will not be speaking to me about why she has given me the silent treatment since october because she is too busy, so if i want to discuss this with her i will have to make an appointment. which is hilarious but also like. surely you cannot think i want to talk to you that badly girl!
#reminder that this is all about a 5 person Halloween movie night that i canceled when she objected#or i mean. it has to be about something else right? but im objectively a great roommate. ive had 5 roommates never had any issue with me.#she has had conflicts with multiple roommates although i was told by her that they were all unreasonable and it was their fault#hindsight is 20/20 i guess lol#i think i know like two things that i do that would upset her#namely coming in after 9 or 10 pm on some Fridays or saturdays (i think I’ve done later than that like 3 times this semester#and all on weekend nights i don’t stay out on school nights#and raising the blinds in the living room because in the mornings she just opens them and doesn’t raise them#the first is objectively Not Bad Of Me and I’m also not willing to not do it because it’s literally either me watching a movie with my#former roommate at her apartment or sitting in my neighbor's car after church talking with him#the second is also objectively Not Bad Of Me and if that is what the conflict stems from she is a lunatic#so like. nothing to fix. anything else she has a problem with is like#untrue like how she accused me of lying about who was coming to the Halloween party#and i can’t do anything about her thinking I lied#Other than tell her I didn’t which I already did#and not having lied to her before which I did not so#🤷♀️#i have wasted so much time with this that’s what actually annoying
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i think the thing that annoys me so much about matty discourse is that its starting to feel like people are pinning the entire concept of race relations on him. as if matty healy watching gross fetish porn is the only thing keeping my black ass from being seen as equal.
like sooooooo much fucking coverage on one (1) man and i kinda get it bc what the fuck else are entertainment companies going to talk about but its also like......he is not even in the top three-digit number list of reasons why black people are down bad in this country. like yes thank you for riding against porn or whatever BUT lets also not forget to redirect our attention and find ways to help all oppressed individuals!!! like its starting to feel like people are only doing this shit so they can a) seem like The Perfect Activist online while doing jack shit irl and b) protect their fave from any criticism by pushing and hoping and praying for a breakup so that they can have a Perfect Activist celeb to stan again and not have to worry about their own controversial, problematic, and potentially offensive beliefs.
tearing someone down isn’t the same as lifting someone up lgrejgaeg like taylor and matty break up but bc y’all hold up a ‘matty’s racist pls dump him :(’ sign at her show and then life goes back to the way it was -- and then people will find a new famous person to blame all of society’s failings on despite not actually making the world a better place
#this is such a fucking rant lol but this is what bothers me with tiktok cancelations of people#bc YES it does feel good to call someone out and make them lose their job#but at the same time its like....is this activism???#is this actually doing anything??#are we making the world a better place by doing this??#idk if its just bc im getting old or bc i spend too much time Not Doing my Actual Job#but modern activism sometimes just feels like....being loud online and then doing nothing else jagjag#and i understand that like we arent the politicians or the people who make laws or run media conglomerates#but its seeing people throw so much effort into.....what? making me not like this man?#and making it seem like they're doing this to protect black people#when its like okay go get the site shut down or something idk#like these two white people breaking up will not change anything#just like them dating hasn't changed anything#except now you feel bad about your fave#i was going to keep ranting down here but alas my actual job awaits#wait one more thin#i do think its hard to find a way to be A Good Activist nowadays#bc so much stuff is the result of money#but we're all broke#so people are trying to help where they cna#but sometimes the help area is like...not needed#like the white people wearing dreads discourse#like yes its a side eye#but also maybe go after the institutions that still allow hair discrimination??#like that would actually change something???
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Why are my siblings so annoying sometimes
#‘I’m sure I have covid but I won’t get the test’#like????#ofc I cancelled all the plans I had with my friends bc I’m not about to risk them#but it’s just so frustrating to me that maybe it’s not covid and I’m cancelling on them for nothing#when my sister could very easily get a test and know#also everyone else in my family will probably keep going out and doing stuff and I’m…..#personal
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my post-cancel apology will be a screenshot of the firefox notes sidebar to show that i am both sorry and against data harvesting
#one of notes is literally just 'o' and nothing else#what was i gonna say??? its a mystery to all#if i get cancelled itll be for celebrity homicide#but then my besties will post that why are you booing them theyre right meme in my defense#and the courts will be like oh so true and let me out(i will kill again)
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i am. having a normal one (no im not)
#i got a scam email from p*rn h*b saying it was using my email to make an account and i litterally have never been on there before so#i freaked out and sent a reply to cancel the account and then looked it up online and saw that it was just a scam#i open my inbox again and theres like 12 replies saying it failed to send my reply#i deleted them all and have gotten nothing else since (abt 20 minutes ago)#but i am just like on the verge of a oanic#i didnt click any links or download anything#but im still half expecting my phone to shut off or...idk explode or something (/hj)#ry tho im freaking out kind of#like i was crying when i started typing this i need to chill#nothing is gonna happen i know nothing is gonna happen#if something was gonna happen it would have by now right?#im just panicking rn and idk how to calm down#saturn talks#vent#ill be okay though!! dont worry abt it
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