#posting here instead of talking to the people I know because my roommate has the most dogshit takes on this situation
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melonnade · 10 months ago
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absolutely disgusting the way that the violence on my campus this morning is being talked about on the news. reading articles rn and they keep talking about violence on both sides & fighting breaking out ‘between’ the two groups. call it what it fucking was. it’s not two sides being violent, it’s one being attacked by the other. rhetoric matters.
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allpiesforourown · 2 months ago
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I freaking LOVEE asshole luo binghes reddit posts
😈 u/Luo_Bingge
AITA for taking my best friend of TEN YEARS out on valentines day and not my girlfriend of ONE WEEK?
So my best friend(M22) and I (M21) have been going out for valentines day every year since we were 15. This tradition of ours started back when Gege got extremely sick on valentines day and had to spend it at the hospital. Me being a good friend of course made him dinner and brought it to the hospital to eat with him. I also made sure to get him flowers and chocolate just to make sure he had a good valentines day.
We've been doing this every year since because Gege never has a date and as his best friend I want him to have a great valentines day every year! He deserves it!
Anyways, this year I had a girlfriend during valentines day. Usually on valentines day I'd be single since I either broke up with my previous girlfriend the day before, or got together with my new girlfriend the day after valentines day.
Anyways this year she expected me to spend valentines day with HER and not my Gege! Which was insane and she was acting super entitled! After arguing with her for awhile I decided to lie to her and tell her I would go with her.
Obviously though, I didn't and bought plane tickets so me and Gege could get out the country for a week. I put my phone on silent for the entire trip and when we got back home after it was over, I found that she completely blew my phone up with notifications. She was acting totally dramatic calling me an asshole and the scum of the earth. She eventually broke up with me after sending me multiple voice messages of her crying.
Her behavior really rubbed me the wrong way. So reddit am I the asshole? I know I'm not infact I KNOW that she was the one being an entitled asshole.
🥒 u/peerlesscucumber replying to u/Luo_Binghe
Hi guys! I'm the roommate Bingmei is talking about here! So I didn't expect to find my roommates reddit account through this sub reddit haha! I was even more shocked when I read the comments calling him an asshole. Reading his post it might sound like he is but he really isn't. He has been crying to me for days what his ex-girlfriend did really broke his heart. Bingmei and I were just following our years long tradition! He tried to reject her when she asked to be his valentines but she kept pushing him and breaking his boundaries! I too had to reject a couple of women asking to be my valentine this year, you guys wouldn't be calling me an asshole for that would you?
😈 u/Luo_Bingge replying to u/peerlesscucumber
wait..? You has other people asking you out?
✈️ u/AirplaneShootingTowardsTheSky replying to u/peerlesscucumber
HOLD ON YOURE THE ROOMMATE!? PEERLESSCUCUMBER MY BIGGEST ANTI-FAN IS THE ROOMMATE?
SCREAMMMM HES SO TERRIBLE..
Okay but Shen Yuan always misunderstood Binghe prioritizing him and pushed him towards chasing girls so it would be more like
Shen Yuan: Binghe maybe you should spend Valentines with your girlfriend? This is so sweet of you to do, but you can't give up on your love life because of me. We can do this the day after Valentine's!
Binghe: No uh actually she said she hates valentines. Because it's commercialized and not about love. So we don't have plans
Shen Yuan: oh, okay!
Then they listen to her voicemails and Shen Yuans like "unbelievable! If she did want to do something for Valentines, why not just say so instead of playing these mind games!? You dodged a bullet, Binghe!"
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juniperhillpatient · 6 months ago
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I have talked about this a lot before but it’s on my mind & also it’s something that really should be discussed more in Buffy fandom -
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People are constantly talking about how Spike defies all the rules Buffy was taught about demons & vampires & rightfully so. A vampire falling in love with a slayer & fighting for his soul for her is such a romantic notion & I do love it but the nuance of Spike’s arc is even more interesting than that! He does love Buffy but not only that he befriends the Scoobies too. He brings flowers for Joyce after she dies. He helps prove that Tara is not a demon when her family tries to gaslight her & isolate her. He becomes a pseudo big brother to Dawn.
And yet none of that is even what I’m here to talk about! Spike IS a hero & he does have a long spanning redemption arc before the soul (& we’re NOT here to talk about Seeing Red right now, as usual that topic is too expansive & requires its own post) that should be acknowledged & his character is rightfully praised but he is NOT the only exception to vampires having nuance & it drives me crazy that we act like he is. The Judge isn’t just talking to Spike when he says this:
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“You TWO.” He’s talking about Drusilla too! He says that they share affection & jealousy. That Angelus in his total sociopathic lack of human emotion is the odd one here.
Then you have things like this -
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Conversations with Dead People has Buffy sharing a very long & deep conversation with an old acquaintance turned vampire. And it’s far from the only example in universe of a vampire retaining some sense of camaraderie with people from their life!
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That’s right this entire rant has been a lead up to talk about my best girly Harmony Kendall. You’ve fallen for my ruse if you’ve read this far muahaha! Admittedly Harmony’s strongest moments are mostly unfortunately on Angel but even in season four of Buffy when she dates Spike she is clearly intended at times to be sympathetic. Season 4 is also interesting because we see a lot interactions between various gangs of vampires like Harmony’s so-called minions & even Sundays gang where they’re very much evil but also sharing in living (existing?) space & acting like bickering roommates or siblings. Like creatures with bonds & personalities & intricacies.
The point I’m trying to make is that the show never truly wants to grapple with the existence of Spike in all his nuance but it’s also not just about him! In general there is so much to grapple with in the idea that vampires can change & be redeemed & I’m not saying I’m anti scary evil vampires I’m just saying the universe gave us these hints of nuance & then the characters never grappled with it & that’s lame. For Buffy killing things that have a shot at redemption however small would be a major emotional blow if she ever addressed it! Especially in her season 5 “am I just a killer 🥺” arc. Let’s deal with the implications!
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Let’s deal with Xander’s trauma about killing Jessie & just how much it would/should hurt for him to see Spike increasingly choose good & work with the Scoobies. I would LOVE to know Xander’s reaction to Harmony’s arc on Angel or Cordelia befriending her & letting her go ina world where the writing acknowledges that he drove a stake through his best friends heart!
It’s just that the writers accidentally complicated their own lore & then totally refused to ever let their characters address what the cracks in the stories they tell themselves mean. Giles says that a vampire is no longer the person but instead the thing that killed them. What’s scarier: the idea that your loved one was killed & something wears their face like a mask OR much more insane (to me) the idea that your loved one came back very wrong but it’s still them? Your brother eats people now but he still remembers how you like your eggs & can quote every episode of the cartoon you watched as kids. Your mom murdered that woman from the PTA who always talked too much in cold blood but she still remembers the recipe for your favorite pancakes. The show wanted scary vampires but it got so caught up in never addressing the infinitely more complex & scarier vampires it accidentally created & sticking to the more simplistic initial idea that it did both the characters & lore very dirty. And I’ll never shut up about it!!!
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rottenaero · 2 years ago
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AO3
Part 1
Part 4
Part 6
Part 5 of the roommates idea
Okay okay, so before this starts, a lot of people have mentioned me posting this on ao3, and my question is if you guys mean it as it is, or if I should make two or three new parts to make up for the first part.
Because in the first part, we miss a lot of possible moments between Steve and Eddie since it skips to the basic idea.
This whole thing was meant to be a messy and quick way to get my ideas out, but then people ended up actually liking it, and well, I just want you guys to like the outcome.
Basically, I wanna know if I should;
A.Post it on ao3 as is
B. Post it on ao3 with two to maybe four parts instead of the original post, and have me do part six after I make those. (I'm a decently quick writer when I'm motivated, all these parts so far have been within a day or two)
C. Make the parts instead of the original post, and have this be a big one-shot on ao3(meaning it wouldn't be posted on there until this is finished)
I am really leaning towards B, just cause I wanna do those interactions (one of which would be Eddie coming out to Steve), but I wanna see what you guys think first.
This whole thing is kinda a wreck cause I don't usually post fics on Tumblr but hopefully it will get better with time.
After Dustin explains the upside down, and Eddie talks about what really happened, they come to a sort of agreement.
Eddie was to stay at the boathouse, and someone would occasionally come over with a supply of drinks and food.
Steve, of course, despised this, because Eddie is his best friend-(And who was he kidding? Goddamn crush, too)-dammit, but he let the plan go on anyway.
Before they left, Steve turned to Eddie, brows pinched together.
“Stay safe, alright? If you get hurt because you do something stupid, I’ll beat the shit out of you.”
Eddie laughed, loud and full, “Kinda counterproductive, aye sweetheart?”
He stopped when Steve didn’t laugh or make a joke back. “I’ll be fine, and I’ll walkie if things go to shit.”
“Good.” Steve gave him a little peck on the corner of his lips, “Don’t die, man. Can’t take care of these little shits by myself.”
He turned to face Max, and a gaping Dustin and Robin.
“Lets go, nerds”
-
Steve stared at the ground, unblinking.
One of his kids were gonna die.
Eddie had had apparently left the boathouse
Eddie was being hunted.
Two more students have been murdered.
He licked his lips, and his eyes flicked up to watch Powell talk about the town hall meeting.
They were royally fucked.
“Dustin, can you hear me? Wheeler? Stevie?”
Steve’s eyes widened and he turned around in time to see Dustin snatch the walkie.
“Eddie, holy shit. Are you okay?”
The walkie took a second to crackle back to life.
“Nah man, pretty uh, pretty goddamn far from okay.”
“Where is he?”Nancy asked, already halfway back into the car.
“Where are you?”
“Skull Rock, Steve knows it.”
Steve smiled, grabbing the walkie and clicking down on the button, “Hold on tight, Ed-stefer, we’re on our way.” He tossed it back to Dustin before turning to Nancy.
“I’m driving.”
She scrunched her nose, but didn’t question it and swapped to the passenger's side.
-
“Dude, I’m telling you, you’re leading us the wrong way.”
“It’s North, I’m positive! I checked the map.”
Steve sighed and pinched his nose, “This is literally Eddie and I’s spot, we come here all the time.”
“That doesn’t have to do with it being a make-out spot, does it?” Lucas asked hesitantly from his spot in the back.
“Jesus, no Sinclair, this does not have to do with- Eddie and I are just friends.”
Robin scoffed, “Didn’t you kiss him earlier?” She asked.
“As friends. He doesn’t like me like that.”
“Right, but you like him like that, though?”
“Oh wow, suddenly we’re here, y’know, at the place you said we weren’t gonna end up at?” Steve yelped, gesturing broadly at the rocks around him.
Lucas has to physically bite his lip to keep from mentioning that he had absolutely picked that up from Eddie, or that Eddie had picked it up from him.
“See? You little butthead, I was right.”
Theres a rustle of leaves and then,
“I concur, you, Dustin Henderson, are a total butthead.”
Steve turned to face the man and almost collapsed in relief, hes not hurt.
“Jesus Eddie, we thought you were a goner.” Dustin sighed, as he made his way past Steve to hug Eddie.
“Yeah, me too man. Me too.”
The hug goes on for maybe ten seconds before Eddie’s pulling back and bringing Steve into a side one, you know, like some kind of dad. “I tried calling you guys, but uh…”
His face turned sheepish and he stepped back a bit to grab some water from a canister. “My walkie was busted, man.”
“Drenched.” He adds in after a second, laughing a bit.
He took another sip from the bottle before wiping and extra drops away from his mouth. “So, uh, I did the thing that I do now apparently. I ran.” He let out another laugh, this one was a little bit more self-deprecating.
“Do you know what time this was? The attack.”
Eddie perked up, and grabbed at his wrist, “ Yeah, no, I um, know exactly what time it was.”
He held up a watch, the dials on it weren’t moving. “My walkie wasn’t the only thing that got soaked.”
“9:27…”
“Same times our flashlights went kablooey.” Robin says, and her eyes light up like she connected the dots.
Steve hadn’t, “Which means what exactly?”
“That that surge of energy was Vecna attacking Patrick.”
Steve half-zoned out, silently going through the events in his head, while maintaining conversation.
“Skull Rock was North.”
“An electromagnetic field.”
“What say you, Eddie the Banished?”
Steve tuned back in, a hundred percent now. He turned to look at Eddie, who was still crouching, and damn how did his back not hurt?
“I say you’re asking me to follow you into Mordor,” Steve perked up, he kind of knew this one, “-which, if I’m totally straight with you, I think it’s a really bad idea.”
And Steve nodded along, because yeah, this was a terrible idea.
“But uh, the Shire, the Shire is burning, so Mordor it is.”
He whistled at Eddie when everyone got up, and he was by Steve’s side in seconds.
“You’re not hurt or anything, are you? Cause you don’t look it but…”He trailed off, and Eddie grinned.
“I am all-good Steve-O.” Steve nodded, “Good, good.”
Suddenly, there was a sharp gasp from right next to him, “Were you, perhaps, worried?!” Steve kicked a rock instead of answering.
It just made Eddie’s grin widen further.
“You totally were! Stevie Harrington, The-Former-King-Of-Hawkins turned sweetheart, worrying over lil-ol-Eddie-The-Freak-Munson!”
Steve scoffed, “ First off, I’d like to think I’ve always been a sweetheart, second off, keep it in your pants, dude.”
Eddie cackled, leaning into his side, “Yeah, yeah! You’re right. You’ve kinda been like that for the past two years, Mr.Eddie-Cant-Carry-A-Fucking-Hot-Pan-Anymore.” He laughed, ignoring the second part of Steve’s statement.
He huffed, “Just don’t want you getting hurt.”
Eddie booped his nose, “Yeah yeah, you’re just you like that.”
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yournightmary · 8 months ago
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Roommate!Ellie HCs
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content warning:: fem!reader, modern!AU, mentions of weed, being drunk and creepy men
AN:: Hi! I’m really glad (surprised) you all liked my last one:) I’m taking requests, only smaller things though:( still trying to get a hang of the whole writing thing.
part II here!
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⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who was so desperate to save some money that she posted a roommate ad online. First 10 people were total creeps, then there were like 5 different guys that thought it was some kind of a sexual offer. But then you reached out.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who at first was really nervous to meet you, a little scared about you actually being a 40 year old white man.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who hid most of her nerdy stuff because she was afraid you would make fun of her or find her weird. Stuffed all of her funko pops into her closet and shoved her posters under her bed :(
⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who for the first like 2 months wouldn’t be found dead in the same room as you. And if by some miracle she was, she would be so painfully awkward. She was scared that she’ll make you uncomfortable somehow, but you were just like ??? you thought she was really nice and cute??
⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who spent most of her time at Jesse’s babbling about how funny and cool and beautiful you are. She felt a little bad about it, you were just her roommate after all. A roommate she was crushing on like a middle schooler.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who stopped laughing at the ‘and they were roommates’ jokes, instead she would get embarrassed and immediately think about you.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who finally got the balls to befriend you when one time Dina and Jesse paid her an unexpected visit.
“Do you uh-… you wanna hang out with us?” She asked you awkwardly, fiddling nervously with her fingers. Her heart was racing and her hands were so clammy… god what was happening to her?
⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who absolutely loves watching dumb tv shows with you. I’m talking Love Island, Kitchen nightmares, Big Brother- all that crap. One time she watched a new episode of your favorite show without you and felt so bad about it… and about faking her reactions while rewatching it with you.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who doesn’t really care about skincare but always watches you do your routine. She just uses a cheap face wash and a plain moisturizer and somehow her skin is clear like glass. Whenever you ask her to let you do her skincare she’ll act like she doesn’t want it, but inside she’s literally giggling and kicking her feet.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who always looks at you walking around the apartment with heart shaped eyes. No matter if you just woke up and your hair is a mess or if you just got back from a party and are stumbling drunkenly into every corner. She thinks you’re effortlessly beautiful, end of story.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who is naturally messy, but not in a bad way? She just has a lot of clutter around, little trinkets and doohickeys she found god knows where.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who breaks at least one mug a week. She’s really clumsy and the fact that you’re all that she can think about doesn’t help.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who felt like a teenager that got caught smoking cigarettes when you found out she smokes weed. She was already high by the time you came back from work and almost got a panik attack. You had to babysit her until she got better.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ roommate!Ellie who loves when you call your small shared apartment ‘home’. It just stirs something deep inside her and puts a grin on her face.
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I’ll probably make a part 2 when I get more ideas:3
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poopwons · 1 year ago
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**Break My Heart**-Ft. Jean Kirstein 18+ MDNI!!
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Synopsis: You and Jean break up, he doesn't know what to do with himself. Maybe you'll call him? (surprise, you will)
Content: (NSFW), F!Reader, Jean’s POV, post break up feelings, angst, cursing, depressed Jean, pet names, handjobs, fingering, praise kink, Jean has a teensy bit of a size kink, collaring (if you squint), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, people), cream pie, hair pulling, light alcohol consumption
a/n: I have never written anything this long before, but I got the idea in my head and it would not get out so, here it is. I was literally driving home from work listening to Olivia Rodrigo and Happier came on, so that's what inspired this 🥰 Huge shoutouts to @jeanboyjean and @cowgirlikets for encouraging me through this entire process!💜💜💜 ***also I know absolutely nothing about plumbing, so sorry if all of that is completely inaccurate LOL***
words: 6.9k
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Two months, four days.
That’s how long it’s been. That’s the last time Jean saw you in person, talked to you at all. Sure, he’s wanted to reach out, he’s gotten drunk a few times and Connie had to wrench his phone out of his hands when he saw your name on the screen. Jean had yelled at him, tried to push him off, but Connie ended up with the phone, locking it away before helping Jean to bed. All in all Connie was looking out for him more than anyone else. That’s what good roommates are for, right?
Though, Jean is sure that Connie never expected to ever see his friend like this. Hell, Jean never thought he’d be this way; he never even thought of the possibility of the two of you splitting at all. The first week after you told him you didn’t want to keep seeing him, he stayed in bed, blaring awful sad songs, just wallowing in his own self pity. He supposes he still is, even months later.
The days without you have slowed to a crawl. He still thinks about you all the time, it takes all his will power not to scroll through your instagram, wondering if you’re thriving without him, or if you’re just as fucked up as he is. He doesn’t want to know, he’s not that desperate yet. Still, thoughts of you plagued him every moment it seemed like. Who does he make breakfast for now? Making a single serving for himself just seems.. pathetic, pointless, in comparison to making something for you.
The two of you had a great routine, his favorite, he thinks. You’d wake up, curled in his arms, peppering little kisses to his face, trying to wake him up. He’d groan at you before running his hands to your sides to tickle you, calling you a menace for disturbing a man’s sleep. The little giggles he’d pull from you were his favorite sound, he’d never heard anything better. Then he’d get up, make coffee and breakfast for the two of you while you showered. Sometimes he’d say fuck the breakfast and shower with you instead. Hot water cascading down the two of you, the smell of your shampoo in his nose as he kissed the back of your neck while washing your hair. Fuck. He needs to stop. Think about anything else, he curses himself, his brain can’t keep doing this to him, can it?
But, turns out, it can. Who makes your tea the way you like it, muddled with honey and a splash of cream? Who else knows that you only want earl grey when it’s raining because that’s what your mom would give you when you came inside from splashing around in puddles when you were little? That you want chamomile when you’re sick, and coffee most mornings, unless you’re anxious, then you want English breakfast. Who knows the way you order your meals from your favorite restaurants? That you don’t like water chestnuts because “they’re too crunchy without enough flavor”, or that you hate fast food lettuce but will completely devour the caesar salad from the diner downtown because you say the lettuce is always “the perfect amount of crisp and never soggy”? What does he do with all this little information that he’s learned about you, that’s now completely useless to him since you’re not here?
Connie managed to drag Jean out to go have lunch with him and Sasha the next day. It’s the first time he’s been out in weeks for something other than work. He’s dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, the most he can manage with how exhausted he’s been. The little chain that you picked out for him draped across his collarbones. He likes that memory. You dragged him into a jewelry store, showing him the necklace, saying something about how you thought it’d look good on him. He was never much of a jewelry person, but for you? He agreed, but only if you’d get a matching bracelet, and you did. You said it was your favorite, you loved it so much, and it went on like that, the two of you, in your matching pieces, wearing them everyday…
“Jean,” Connie breaks him out of his thoughts, he wonders if he could tell that he was thinking about you again.
“What,” his tone is flat, nothing like his usual light hearted one.
“Dude, don’t you think you should take that off?”
Jean looks down at his chain, then back at Connie, a frown plastered on his face.
“No, I don’t want to take it off.”
“Look, man, I know you’re still upset, but.. doesn’t that make it worse?”
Jean can’t stand the look of pity he’s getting, he shrugs and doesn’t reply. Take it off? And then what, get rid of it? No. No, he can’t get rid of it, you got it for him. It would be like throwing you away.. and he’s just not ready to do that, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be.
Sasha kicks Connie under the table, the two of them had clearly talked about how to handle today and it seems like Connie is going off script. Jean can’t take it anymore, he can’t stand the way his friends are looking at him, he wants to look anywhere else. So, he does what he’s been trying to avoid. He pulls out his phone, opening up your instagram. You haven’t posted in a while, but there is one new picture. Jean’s heart lurches into his throat when he sees it. Who is that? Why is he with you? He’s never seen this guy before and he doesn’t like it, right down to his stupid green eyes, that idiotic man bun, and that shit-eating smile plastered on his face, like he’s mocking Jean without even trying. The picture is innocent enough, a selfie with his arm around you. But why is he touching you? Why are you letting him? Did you really move on this fast? Did you forget about Jean already? Is this the real reason you ended things with him, for this other guy?
He hears a faint grunt from across the table, then Sasha is talking to him, he hardly hears it, the blood is rushing in his ears. Connie snatches his phone from his hand, Jean can’t even find the energy to snap at him. Connie groans when he sees the screen.
“Shit, man… I was hoping you wouldn’t see that.” Connie practically winces when he meets Jean’s eyes, tears welling up in them. His voice breaks when he finally speaks up.
“Who is that with her?” He sounds like the world has been ripped from him.
Sasha speaks up from her side of the table, having seen the post as well. “I don’t know.. maybe they’re just friends. Don’t overthink it, it’ll be okay.”
He sends a pitiful look her way, it most definitely would not be okay. He takes his phone back from Connie, rising from the table, hell bent on getting back home. His brain is going a mile a minute thinking about you and.. whoever that was.
Two months, fifteen days.
He stays in his room all week. Barely leaving, laid up in bed scrolling through your entire instagram. All the pictures of you and him are gone. He can’t believe you got rid of them, did you delete them off your phone entirely? Were all those pictures slowly being replaced by new ones with this guy? He hates the thought of this stranger taking up camera space that should be his. He knows he shouldn’t.. looking through this idiot’s instagram isn’t going to make him feel any better, but he has to know why you chose him instead.
He swipes through this guy’s pictures, he’s even got a stupid name. Who spells their kids' name Eren? There aren’t a ton of posts, but the few that Jean does see has him rolling his eyes, gym selfies and photos of him playing a guitar, his long hair flowing down his shoulders. Great, so he’s ripped and talented. Jean’s not out of shape by any means, but he isn’t as cut as that, especially since he’s been skipping the gym the past couple of months, unable to find the energy to go, and he definitely can’t play any instruments. Maybe he should learn, would that impress you enough to finally reach out to him? No, that would take way too long, he wants to hear from you so much sooner than that. Maybe he can start growing his hair out.. would you like that? You never complained about his hair before but, this whole thing has thrown him for a loop. He’s questioning everything about himself wondering what Eren has that he doesn’t. Maybe Eren’s better in bed? No, that can’t be it. You never once complained about Jean’s performance, all those pretty sounds you made when he touched and kissed and sucked at all the right spots. No, he definitely knew what he was doing in that department. So, that can’t be it, which almost makes it worse. That must mean Jean failed you in some other way as a partner. Was he not attentive enough, not supportive enough? Did he not make enough time for you? Maybe he should have tried to plan more dates. The thoughts go on and on like this until he finally falls into a fitful sleep, what little dreams he has are plagued with you laughing at Eren’s stupid jokes, of you being happier with Eren than you ever were with him.
Jean is sitting up on the sofa in the living room, Connie had begged him to at least come out of his room so he knows the poor guy’s still alive. Jean is scrolling through yours and Eren’s pages, checking yet again for any more posts.
“Dude, seriously? Are you looking at that guy’s page again?” Connie asks, as he sits down on the couch with a bowl of cereal.
Jean gives him a noncommittal grunt, before shoving his phone in Connie’s face. “I mean, what does she even see in him? He’s not that good looking and he has stupid hair. He probably can’t even play that guitar.” 
Connie gives him a sympathetic look, he knows it can’t be easy for Jean to see you with someone else, but it’s been almost three months since you two split. All the same, he’s Jean’s friend, he can’t always tell him what he wants to hear, right? He sets his bowl down with a sigh, bracing himself for what he’s about to say.
“Come on, man. He looks like a decent enough guy. I know this is hard for you, but don’t you want her to be happy?”
“She’s supposed to be happy with me! Me, not this fucker with a guitar, who’s side are you on, anyway?”
“I’m on your side, you know that, but this is nuts, she’s just a chick. You’ve been hung up for almost three months. You need to get back to the shit you used to do. When was the last time you even went to the gym? That used to be so important to you. You should go back, get some endorphins going, that would make you feel better.”
Jean huffs, Connie just doesn’t get it. He gets up off the couch and walks over to the entryway, pushing his shoes on. “She’s not just some chick, dude.” He spits the words out before walking out the door. Maybe a walk would clear his head. He knew in some regards, Connie was right, he hasn’t been taking the best care of himself lately, but his “just a chick” comment has Jean seeing red and he can’t focus on any of the other rational things Connie’s said.
He walks and walks until it gets dark outside, when he finally gets home he scarfs down a protein bar and flops down in bed. Closing his eyes and drifting off relatively quickly, worn out from the walk, maybe he should go back to the gym, he thinks, if a walk has worn him out so much. He doesn’t know how long he sleeps for, but the buzzing from his night table lulls him out of sleep. Bleary eyed and groggy, he picks up the phone staring at the screen. He must be seeing things. Or he’s still asleep and this is a dream. He sits up abruptly, rubbing his eyes, looking at the screen again. Sure enough, it’s your name that’s up on the screen, the phone is still buzzing in his hand as he stares at the caller id. It finally hits him that if he doesn’t answer it’ll go to voicemail and you might not call back. He fumbles to swipe his finger over the answer key, almost dropping his phone in the process.
“Hello?” Jean tries to make his voice sound calm and not rushed, despite the fact that his heart is practically beating out of his chest over something as simple as a phone call, at the prospect of actually hearing your voice for the first time in months.
“Hey, uh, it’s me. Well, duh, you probably know that.” Your voice sounds just as angelic as he remembers and part of him thinks he might cry right on the spot. “um, listen, I didn’t know who else to call, I-I know it’s late.”
“No, no, I’m uh, I’m awake. Wha-what’s up?” He hates how nervous he sounds, but he can’t help it, even his hands are shaking. 
“Can you come over? There’s like, a leak in my apartment, and the office is closed, I just don’t want to lose my deposit. I’m sure they’ll find some way to blame it on me and not their shitty plumbing. I mean.. Obviously, if you’re busy, it’s okay, I can figure something else out.”
So, you’re calling him to come help you, not Eren, interesting. Jean feels over the moon, maybe Eren isn’t all he’s cracked up to be after all. 
“No, I’m not busy, it’s fine. I’ll be there in twenty minutes. Just try to soak up all the water you can.” Jean says as he scrambles off his bed, going to the bathroom to check his hair in the mirror, smoothing some parts that got ruffled in his sleep. He looks at his shirt, cursing silently that he’s still wearing this sweaty t-shirt. He puts you on speaker and quickly pulls the fabric off, throwing it in the hamper.
“Thank you so much, you’re really doing me a huge favor.”
He pulls a fresh shirt over his head, the shirt getting caught in his frantic movements causing him to have to talk louder than normal, so you can hear him over the muffle of the fabric, “yeah, it’s no problem, I’ll be there soon.” He’d do you a million favors if it meant he got to see you. You hang up and he slips on his shoes, rushing out the door to get to your place with his tools.
Jean’s heart is hammering out of his chest the whole drive to your place, it feels like his body is vibrating with anxiety. He’s practically white knuckling his steering wheel, his brain just going and going. He finally gets to see you, he’ll get to see you. He hopes you’re wearing his favorite pair of sweats. He always thought you looked so cute in them, so comfy and cozy. Excitement is starting to bubble in, until he thinks, oh, god. What if he’s there? What if Jean has to see you and Eren together in person, in a situation where he can’t just walk away. Oh, fuck, why didn’t he think about this before? He was just so excited to hear your voice, to see you, that he wasn’t thinking. If he has to see this idiot touch you right in front of him he thinks he might punch him. That would not look good on him, you’d probably even get mad at him, that’s the last thing he needs. He pulls up to your apartment before he knows it, punching in the gate code that he still has memorized, begging and praying to whatever good karma he’s drummed up in the universe, that Eren fucking Jaegar is not in your apartment with you.
He knocks on your door, fussing with his hair a little as he bounces on the balls of his feet, unsure what to do with all this nervous energy. When he hears the lock disengage he pulls his hand away from his hair as fast as he can, trying to look as casual as possible, like he hasn’t thought about you every second of every day for the past three months.
“H-hi,” you answer the door, obviously feeling a little uncomfortable with this whole situation yourself, but he doesn’t know if it’s the same kind of nerves he’s having or something else. But fuck, you look so pretty, so so pretty, with your hair draped over your shoulders in loose waves, the way you always wore it before, wearing a crew neck and some shorts. 
“He-” Jean’s voice cracks, it fucking cracks. Seriously? What, is he sixteen again? He clears his throat and starts again, “Hey,” 
You let him in, and he gets enveloped in your smell, he practically sighs as he breathes in the familiar comfortable scent of you and your things. He didn’t know you could miss a person’s smell this much. He looks around expecting to see the place how he remembers, but he’s thrown off when everything looks different. You’ve rearranged all your furniture. Thankfully, though, you’re the only one here, there’s no sign of another guy having been here at all. He lets out a little sigh of relief, following you into the kitchen where sopping towels are littering the floor. 
“I just came home from work and found it like this. I don't know what happened.” you say, waving your arm to the floor.
“Well, let’s just see. I’m sure it’s just a loose rivet or something,” Jean walks past you, trying his best not to let your proximity as he does get to him, fighting the urge to just take you in his arms and not let go. That’s not why he’s here, you didn’t call him for that. He’s thankful that you called him for an actual task, something for him to focus on so he’s not just staring at you, he’s afraid if he stares too long he’ll snap.
You stand in the kitchen with him while he patches everything up, it’s an easy fix, just like he thought. A baby with a wrench could fix this, so again, his mind drifts back to why you called him and not Eren, not that he’s complaining. He thinks it all feels very domestic, you watching him fix up things around the house. He’d fix everything you asked him too if he could hold onto this feeling. He’s surprised when you crouch down next to him, trying to see what he’s doing.
“It was loose, right here, I’m just tightening it up.” He smiles as he looks at you briefly, he can’t help it, you just look so pretty and you’re right next to him, right where you belong. 
You smile back at him and he feels his heart lurch again, turning the wrench a little more, satisfied with his work, he catches your eye, “and that should do it, you should be all set now.” 
He stands up, wiping his hands on his pants before offering you a hand up. When you take his hand he bites back a smile at the feel of your hand in his again after so much time, even if it is a harmless interaction. Standing up with him, you don’t pull your hand away right away, lingering there for just a second too long. Did he imagine that? No, no you definitely lingered. 
You brush a strand of hair behind your ear and smile at him sheepishly. “Thanks again, I really appreciate it.” God, your smile is the prettiest thing he’s ever seen.
“It’s not a problem, I don’t mind helping you.” Jean runs a hand through his hair, rubbing at the back of his neck, looking away from you, still nervous. He knows the whole reason he came is taken care of now, and he doesn’t want to leave, but he thinks that’s what you might want. 
“So, I should–”
“Do you want–”
You both speak at once, sharing a nervous chuckle. Jean lets you go first, giving you a look that says so.
“Do you, um.. Want a drink?” You look nervous, awkward. Surely he’s imagining it, he doesn't want to get his hopes up too high. “It’s the least I could do, calling you over here on a Friday night. I’m sure you had better things to do.” You give him another shy smile and he swears he could melt into a puddle right there.
“Uh, sure. Y-yeah, a drink sounds good.” 
“All I have are those hard seltzers I usually get, that okay?” you ask like you expect him to remember, and he does. He wants you to know how much he remembers about you; everything, he remembers everything. 
So, just drinks for yourself? No beer, no liquor, nothing he thinks a guy like Eren might drink. Interesting. So far, everything he’s observed has led him to the conclusion that maybe you and Eren aren’t together. Maybe Sasha was right, and the two of you are just friends?
“That’s fine,” He bends down, putting his wrench away, placing his tool bag on your counter. Turning back to look at you, the slim can in your hand as you hold it out to him. He takes it, following you over to the couch where you both take a seat next to each other. 
His body feels like it’s vibrating, sitting this close to you. You didn’t have to sit this close, but you did. He pops the tab, taking a drink to calm his nerves, and you do the same. 
“So, how have you been? It’s been a while.” You speak so softly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear again, a nervous habit. Are you feeling the same tension he is? Is he making it all up because he missed you so much?
“Uh, good, good.” He lies, what is he supposed to say? That he’s been completely miserable without you? No, if he’s wrong and you have moved on, he has to at least pretend he’s been doing alright. “Work is, well, work, you know. Haven’t been doing much else. What about you?”
“Y-yeah, no, things are, um, they’re okay. I finally got promoted at work.” you smile at him again, before taking another sip. “I’m officially management.”
Pride swells in his chest, he knows how badly you wanted to move up in your job, how much you craved more responsibility. He’s glad your place of work is finally acknowledging your potential.
“Hey, that’s great. I’m really happy for you,” and he is, genuinely. “Is it everything you wanted it to be?”
You give a little snort, “I mean, I guess. Workplace drama is a lot more stressful when you’re actually the one in charge of trying to defuse it, instead of just listening to all the gossip.” 
“Well, I’m sure you’re handling it fine, you were always good at that kind of stuff.” 
You huff a little laugh again, thanking him before pulling the sleeves of your crew neck up while adjusting your position on the couch. That’s when he sees it, that little glimmer of silver on your wrist. His heart pounds harder as he sees it. You’re still wearing your bracelet. You still have it. 
“You’re still wearing that,” Jean points out, his voice coming out little more than a whisper, like he just can’t believe it, his eyes locked on the bracelet.
A blush blooms across your cheeks and Jean is positive it’s not just the alcohol. Fuck not getting his hopes up, you wouldn’t still be wearing something he got you if you didn’t miss him a little bit. 
“Oh, yeah..” you fiddle with the bracelet with your free hand, “I um.. I feel a little naked without it, you know?” you cheeks are still flushed as you look up at him. 
Jean just smiles at you, “yeah, I know what you mean.” he says as he pulls the chain out from under his shirt. “I got so used to wearing it everyday, it just doesn’t feel right with it off.” It’s not even a lie, just, not a full truth. His nerves are slowly fading away, getting replaced with renewed hope.
“Well, it does still look good on you,” you reach your hand up to run your fingers along the chain, Jean feels a jolt of electricity in your touch that practically lights his skin on fire, and that’s when he really knows. There’s no way you’d be touching him like this if you didn’t miss him, if you were seeing someone else. He’s never felt so much relief in his life. “Suits you, for sure.” 
He takes his hand placing it over yours, goosebumps prickling his skin where your fingers dance along the chain. “You..um, you have good taste,” he says, his breath turning a little shallow, he knows he’s not imagining all the tension that’s been slowly building up since he got here. “I never would have picked anything like this for myself.”
Your hand is so small in his, he’s always been bigger than you, taller, more muscular. He didn't realize how much he missed it until now, he was so caught up with missing all the other parts of you that this bit seemed to have slipped his mind. You’re looking at him with your pretty doe eyes, letting him hold your hand, he can practically see the hearts in your eyes, looking at him like you used to. Fuck it, he’s going for it. Drinks completely forgotten on the coffee table as he scoots a little closer to you, just enough so that your knees are touching.
“I’ve really missed you.” He whispers, leaning in just a little closer, he hears your breath hitch in your throat, your eyes flitting to his lips. 
He smiles as you lean in too. You want it just as much as he does. “Me too..”
When he finally presses his lips to yours he almost explodes with happiness, he’s feeling giddy, all these pent up feelings pouring out into your lips. He cups the back of your neck as he deepens the kiss, swiping his tongue over your bottom lip, a silent request for permission. He sighs as you grant it, opening your mouth for him so he can glide his tongue along yours, and you moan into his mouth. You fucking moan. He loses any semblance of control he had. His hands move, roaming over your back and the two of you lose yourselves in the moment. Without really thinking about it he pulls you onto his lap, moving his mouth to press hot kisses to your neck, nipping the sensitive skin. It always was one of your favorite spots. His hands run under your sweatshirt, caressing your back, savoring the feel of your soft skin under his palms.
“Missed you so fucking much.” Jean breathes out between kisses, groaning as you grind your hips onto his lap when he kisses your neck again.
“Missed you too. Thought…Thought about you all the time…” Your words are broken up by little gasps. Jean thinks he could die happy, just like this, but then your hands go to the hem of his shirt, pulling it off, running your hands over the contours of his chest and he feels like he’s going to burn out of his skin.
His hands follow suit with yours, pulling your sweatshirt off, discarding it on the floor next to his, drinking in the sight of you, sighing when he sees your bare chest. Running his hands over your tits, kissing his way down your neck and your collarbone before taking one of your nipples into his mouth and starts kissing and sucking, pinching at the other one with his free hand. You arch your back into his touch and he moves his hands back around your waist, pulling you closer to him. He just needs you closer, so much closer.
You just grind against him, he can feel the heat coming off of you, listening to your breath get more and more ragged as you wrap your arms around his neck in order to get closer, pulling his head up. 
“I’m sorry. Jean, I’m so sorry.. I never should have–” your voice sounds broken, despite the desire and need coursing through the both of you. It breaks his heart to hear you sounding so sad. You don’t even have to explain what you’re apologizing for, he already knows. 
Jean cuts you off with a kiss, running his fingers through your hair, shushing you softly. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” He soothes, pressing soft kisses between his words. “Later. We’ll talk about it later, yeah?” He pulls back, pressing his forehead to yours, looking in your eyes with all the love he has for you. 
You give him a feeble little nod, kissing him passionately. Your tongues glide together as you taste each other, making up for lost time, and god, does he want to make up for it. With that in mind, his hands move to the plush of your ass, squeezing as you keep your lips on him. As much as he doesn’t want to push you away from him, he needs to touch you. He runs his hands over your bare thighs before hooking his fingers into the waistband of your shorts, pushing you back just enough so he can get the leverage he needs. Tugging them off, you lift your hips to help him. He looks down and sees you clad in lace, one of his favorite pairs. A brief look of surprise as his brain sorts through it. You… you planned for this, at least to some degree. All doubts completely leave his head as a satisfied grin curls on his lips. 
“You wear these just for me, baby?” He murmurs into your ear as he nips at your earlobe, fingers already dancing along the sides of your panties. 
You give him another nod and a breathy little sound that he assumes, if you were able to form the words, would be a confirmation. He pushes the material aside, running a finger through your folds. Shit, you're so fucking wet for him. He’s going to lose his mind. His finger swirls around your clit, eliciting moans and gasps from you. You’re already starting to squirm for him and he doesn’t let up, still swirling little circles with the pad of his finger. 
“J-Jean,” you moan out his name and cling to him, holding his head tightly to your chest. 
“‘M right here, baby, I got you. You gonna be a good girl and cum for me?” 
“Y-yes, yes, yes, fuck!” He feels your legs shaking on him, still moving his hand. God, he missed seeing you like this. 
“That’s it, that’s my girl. That’s my good fuckin’ girl, did so well for me. ” He purrs into your skin, pressing kisses to your neck, giving you a second to catch your breath.
Turns out you don’t even want a breather, your hands moving desperately to his lap, frantically trying to undo his buttons, slipping your hand in and wrapping around his cock. 
“Fuck,” Jean groans under his breath, lifting his hips with you still on his lap, so he can shove his pants down enough for you pull him all the way out.
Your hand pumps him, smearing the precum over his flushed tip, causing him to suck in a sharp breath. You keep working him, your hands are always so soft, twisting your wrist a bit on the way up, squeezing the tip just a little. He loves the way he looks in your hands, your smaller ones making him look even bigger. His eyes catch a little glimmer, and he groans again when he sees you jerking him with your bracelet bouncing on your wrist with your movements. All he can think about is that you’re his, you're his, you're his. That one little accessory tells the whole world. Maybe he’ll replace it with a ring. He leans forward, burying his face in the crook of your neck, taking a shaky breath.
“Shit, you’re makin’ me feel so good, but I don’t… fuck, I don’t want to cum like this.” He pulls back to look in your eyes, seeing nothing but how good you want to make him feel and he doesn’t know what he did to deserve you. 
He pulls your panties to the side again, lifting you up, lining himself up with your entrance and pulls you down onto him. Jean thinks he’s died and gone to heaven. He has never felt anything better than you wrapped around him like this. You both let out audible moans, as you adjust to him. Without any warning, you start bouncing on him. His eyes roll back as he drops his head to the back of the couch. Your bounces are slow, deliberate, he’s sure he’s in heaven.
“You feel so good. Love how full you make me feel.” You murmur, breathy, into his ear, bracing yourself on his shoulders. 
As much as he’d love to just sit here and bask in you riding him, he’s going to cum way too soon if he lets you keep going like this, especially if you keep using that mouth of yours to whisper everything he’s been wanting to hear for the past three months in his ear. He moves his hands back to your ass, grabbing handfuls of you, doing the work for you for another second or two before he wraps his arm around your waist he starts fucking up into you. 
“Missed my pussy so much, baby. She’s mine, yeah? That’s what this means doesn’t it?” He growls, taking your wrist, adorned with your bracelet, showing it to you. “That’s why you never took it off? Been mine this whole time haven’t you?”
Your walls squeeze him, as you hear his words, and he groans again. “All yours, Jean.. al-always yours.”
In all his desperation to get close to you, to get inside of you, he didn’t think your panties would cause a problem, but at this point they’re in his way, they won’t stay to one side. He moves his hand, gripping the flimsy garment, and pulls hard, tearing them.
“Jean!” You protest, looking down at where the two of you are connected.
“I’ll buy you new ones,” He mutters before he picks up his pace, finally able to fuck you the way he wants, slamming his hips up into you. 
You don’t seem to care so much anymore, as your eyes roll back, and you let out a cry. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, moving to bury your face in his neck. And for Jean, right now, that just won’t do, he wants to see you, wants to see your face contorted in pleasure. He brings his hand to the back of your neck, tugging your hair so you’re looking at him. 
“Look at me, baby, wanna see you.” Shit, he already feels close. Not having you for all these months, and finally getting you, getting to see in your face how good he’s making you feel and how much you missed him too. He didn’t think he was going to last long anyway. He brings his lips to yours, kissing you hungrily, all tongues and teeth. 
“Ba-baby, ‘m close,” you whine, eyes glazed over, face scrunched up just the way he likes. 
“Me too, cum with me, yeah?” His hand snakes between you, finding your clit, rubbing circles on it with his thumb.
He feels you clenching around him, cunt pulsing and god he missed this feeling, missed feeling you come apart just for him. You say his name again and again like a prayer and he just can’t hold back anymore. 
“Fuck, baby, I’m shit–” He tries to warn you so you can get off of him, but you just stay put, slamming down on him again and again. He cums hard, painting your insides white. 
Still holding onto you tightly, one hand on your neck and the other around your waist, you both just stay locked in an embrace, panting. Each of your heads are resting on the others shoulders, Jean presses little kisses there while he catches his breath. 
“God, I really did miss you so much.” He whispers into your skin. “And not just this, all of it. I missed all of you.”
“I know, I missed you too. I wanted to call you or text you, or anything. I just…didn’t think you wanted to talk to me.” Your fingers toy with the hair at the nape of his neck and he just savors the moment. 
Neither one of you moves, you just sit there holding each other. You haven’t even gotten off of him yet, his cock going soft inside you, feeling his cum leak out onto his lap, but he couldn’t care less. He just runs his fingertips up and down your back tenderly. 
“You really scared me, you know that?” Jean says when he finally feels like breaking the silence.
You lift your head, giving him a puzzled look. “What do you mean? How did I scare you?”
Jean sighs, it sounds stupid now, in hindsight, thinking that you had moved on. “I thought you were dating that Eren guy. You posted a picture with him and I kind of freaked out.”
It seems like it takes a second for his words to register, because you’re quiet for a moment before you burst into a full fit of laughter. Jean just gives you a pointed look. He doesn’t see what’s so funny about that. You’re laughing so hard you practically roll off of him, landing on your side on the couch, your legs still draped over him. He follows suit, cuddling you when he gets onto his side. 
“What’s so funny?”
You finally stop laughing long enough to answer him. “Eren? EW.” you manage to get out before you start giggling again. “He’s like a brother to me, we grew up together. I haven’t seen him before that post since he left for school. You really thought I was dating Eren??” 
Jean’s cheeks flush, a little pout forming on his face. “What was I supposed to think? He was way too close to you in that picture.”
Your laughter subsides, and you brush some hair out of his face, giving him a soft smile. “He just took me out for the day because I was so sad about you. I felt like I’d made a big mistake, and he just wanted to get my mind off of it for a little while. Besides, even if he wasn’t like a brother, he’s been in love with the same girl from middle school since he was like, twelve years old.”
You look like you have more to say but you’re hesitating. Clearly feeling a little nervous, he just nudges you gently, wanting you to continue.
You take a deep breath before going on, “I am sorry.. I shouldn’t have broken up with you, and for such a stupid reason.”
“What was the reason, exactly?” He asks, he never actually got the full story.
“I just… I liked you too much, things were going too well. I guess I kind of panicked, wondering when the other shoe was going to drop.”
Jean just stares at you, of all the reasons he thought it was, he didn’t think it was this.
“So… you broke up with me, because things were going too well?”
“It sounds stupid when you say it like that!” You bury your face into his chest, hiding your blush. “I said I was sorry.”
“What if there’s no other shoe? What if we’re just good together? Did you think about that?” He asks, no malice or hurt in his voice, just genuine curiosity. He presses a little kiss to the top of your head, trying to soothe you.
“There’s always another shoe.” You mutter, not bothering to lift your head up.
Jean sighs, taking your chin in his hand, pulling you up so that you’re eye to eye with him. “Baby, I promise, I will do everything in my power to ensure that there is no other shoe, okay? You have a problem, just talk to me. Let me be there for you, let me try and make things better. I’m not saying everything will be perfect all the time, but just know I’ll try my damndest for you.” He presses a kiss to your lips, sealing his promise. 
“Yeah.. okay,” you finally give him another smile, and he kisses you again, unable to resist. “So, can I be your girlfriend again?”
“As long as you promise not to break up with me for such a stupid reason ever again.” He smiles at you again, pressing another kiss to your forehead before pulling you back into his chest.
“Promise,” you mumble as you nuzzle into him.
Jean’s happier than he’s been in months, with you in his arms, right back where you belong.
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brain-n-body-in-disarray · 1 year ago
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What the h*ll is "basic hygiene" anyway?
If you're like me, you've been struggling with hygiene for a long time. I'm neurodivergent, I have chronic fatigue and chronic pain, so yeah, it's been hard, my whole life.
Here's a few tips that helped me or some of my friends.
1. Redefine "basic hygiene"
No, really. Redefine it. Neurotypical and able-bodied people will tell you all can of things about what is "basic" hygiene.
The rule is: do what you can. That's it. The rest of the post will be tips to increase what you can do. But in the meantime, just do your best. You're fantastic the way you are.
2. Time
There's two thing here.
The first is: find the right time for you. It's not always easy, because we often have obligations, and we're supposed to be clean at those right moments. It's not easy. Sometimes it "helps" because it gives us that "boost" we needed to start getting clean, but most of the time it's just stressful. So instead find the moment that works best for you. I know there's moments in the day when it'll be easier for me to start tasks that I would struggle with at an other time, but I prioritise other things instead for a reason or another. Try washing yourself then, even if people will tell you it's strange to have a shower at three pm. Who cares.
The second is: divide to conquer. You don't have to wash ALL the parts of your body at once. You don't necessarily have the energy for it and it's okay. Also it can feel daunting to face that long list of steps. A body has a LOT of parts to wash and clean. Really, that's scary and exhausting. So the solution might be to do smaller things here and there. Do what you can when you can, that's okay. At least you've done something, that's great!
You are also allowed to take breaks in the middle. It can help if you are tired, or if it makes you anxious.
3. Wipes.
I personally hate washing with soap and water, whether it's a bath, shower or just at the sink. It takes time, it's a lot of steps, and it feels horrible. I do it when I can, but I don't enjoy it. The partial solution is wipes.
Baby wipes are great, they're soft, some smell good but faint, some has no odor. You can clean yourself quickly without rinsing. And they don't let that terrible feeling on your skin.
There's wipes made for your private parts. Which is an important part to clean. Also wet toilet paper is good. (For private parts wipes, buy the organic ones, you don't want anything too harsh there)
Make-up removal wipes are not just to remove make-up. They do clean you face.
Don't use antibacterial wipes though. At least not regularly. They are too harsh for your skin, you'll just damage it. Also too much antibacterial stuffs just make bacterias more resistant.
Bonus point: wipes can easily be carried in a bag. Handy.
4. Charts and lists and apps.
Whether you forget to do it or it you have done it already, or you can't get motivated, or you can't manage to start washing, or there's so many steps you get overwhelmed, or you start but can't remember what to do next, etc., those tips might help.
There's apps like Habitica (it's the most well known but there's others) that help you building habits and remembering to do stuffs and making it fun (help with rewards). It's about general tasks but can be applied to washing. A friend also told me there's a pokemon app to brush your teeth but I haven't tried it.
If you get overwhelmed by the steps and get lost in the middle, making a list of those steps, laminating and putting it in the bathroom near the sink or in the shower can help you keeping tracks. You can even put a dry erase marker near the list to check what have already be done.
5. The "bath buddy"
If you live with someone, you can ask their help.
I'm not saying they have to wash you. Or maybe I am? A friend takes his showers with his boyfriend to help getting motivated.
It can just be your platonic roommate behind the door talking to you, telling you funny stories.
Having company can help start the task and make it more enjoyable which help in itself but also make it less daunting the next times. Having a bath buddy also helps if you get lost in the middle of a task, they can tell you what the next step is. They can also keep you on tracks and in the present (I know I tend to dissociate a lot in the bathroom). And they keep your mind off the bad stuffs (body dysphoria for example, or sensory discomfort)
6. You're never too old for "kids' stuffs"
Because you're never to old for fun stuffs.
No, really, there's no reason why you should deprive yourself of something that would make washing more fun.
Wash your teeth with bubblegum flavored toothpaste.
Play with bathtoys. Buy those little plastic boats and those little squirting animals. (Seriously, the fact that the only fun thing for bath for adult is bubbles is a crime)
The word here is "fun". Make the bathroom fun. Buy a shower curtain with cute elephants playing with water. Put adhesive ducks on the tiles. Make that darn room a place you want to be in, not just to distract you from the bad stuff but to enjoy your life.
7. Teeth. Oh no, the teeth.
First thing: as I said, you don't have to use that "adult toothpaste". The menthol contained in it can be sensory hell. You can use kid toothpaste, it cleans just as well. If you can't use any toothpaste try brushing without it with just water. You can also try toothpaste tablets (you chew on them and then brush). You can try mouthwash. You can try oil-pulling. The point here is to remove some bacteria from your mouth.
About brushing. There's different hardness in toothbrushes. If you're using hard, try medium. If you're using medium, try soft. If you're using soft, try baby toothbrush. If no toothbrush works for you, try a wet cloth, or your finger. Try using toothpicks to remove the remains of food and then use mouthwash.
If the storebought mouthwash doesn't do with you, make it yourself. There's recipes online with essential oils (optional, but maybe there's one you might like), baking soda and water. (I don't recommend using lemon juice, it might damage your enamel.)
My friend just told me I should mention dental floss. I personally hate it, but it might be useful to some of you. It's probably more effective than toothpicks. They also comes mounted on these little plastic sticks if you struggle with the thread alone.
8. Chair
No, really, you have the right to sit down during washing. Buy a shower chair. Put a bench on your bathtub instead of struggling to stand up. Put a chair in front of the sink to sit when you brush your teeth.
You don't have to be physically disabled to use a chair to wash. And if you're disabled there's still no shame. Standing up can be boring, it can be painful, it can be tiring. So sit. You are allowed.
And if you prefer standing, do. You can pace. You can dance. You can do gymnastics. (Just be careful if you're brushing your teeth, okay. Or if you're in the shower. Don't hurt yourself.)
9. Music
If you don't have a buddy to talk to you, music or even podcasts, anything to listen to, can be a nice way to help. They makes the experience more enjoyable. They keeps your head away from the bad sensory experience or the awareness of your own body.
I also find using the same playlist useful to keep track of the time I've been spending in the shower. I even time the steps on the tracklist, I know I washed that part of my body for long enough if that song is over, I need to do the next step.
Also, for me me music is part of the ritual. It helps me to get in the right mind, it motivates me, it makes the routine.
10. Multi-purpose products.
I've seen all those beauty posts about "layering". It's nice if you have the energy and the time, but no, it's not for me.
I hate moisturising creams. I really do. They smells funny, they feels gross and sticky, and it takes forever to apply. It's an unnecessary step for me. But I have dry skin (at least on my body). The easy solution is to use surgras soap or surgras shower gel. (Not just the "moisturising" soap, that won't hydrate as well.)
I don't just remove the unpleasant experience of moisturiser, I remove a step. I save energy.
Also, multi-purpose products help with organisation, there's less things to think about. There's less risk of taking the wrong bottle because you're too headfogged. Less chance of chaos in the bathroom.
I personally can't do that for everything. I'd like to have one soap for everything, but my body skin and my face skin and my private parts and my hair all need different stuffs. But I do try to keep things to a minimum, because the number of products can be quickly overwhelming. So try to balance your sensory needs with your organisation problem.
(Also, if like me you hate the feeling of moisturiser, aloe vera gel is great. It is a bit sticky, but in a different way than cream. I personally prefer that one. There's also the option of oil, there's different kinds for different skin types, even for oily skin.)
11. Japaneses know best: the bidet.
This one might sounds strange for some folx. Where I live, bidets used to be extremely common but they are disappearing. We used to have a bidet next to the toilets in our homes. Japanese toilets have a built-in bidet but they are expensive. There is a cheaper (but still not cheap) alternative. You can buy a bidet toilet seat attachment to put on your own toilets.
Why am I telling you about bidet? Because when you struggle to wash regularly, bidets are incredibly useful.
Toilet paper is highly unhygienic. Wet toilet paper is a bit better. Bidets, that spray a jet of water on your privates, clean so much better.
And they are easy and quick to use. You just press a button and you are clean.
If you have a vagina, it's even more important, because it lowers significantly the risks of getting UTI and the likes.
If you can afford it, I recommend it.
12. The hat, or "well, f*ck it"
You can fail to wash in time for whatever obligation you have. That's okay.
Just use the card "camouflage".
Greasy hair? If they are long, brush them and tie them tightly, and put on a fashionable hat. Or you favorite, silly, hat. Or just a random hat that your aunt gave you (you know the one, you wondered for three weeks if you smiled enough when you received the gift because you didn't want to offend her). Scarfs are nice too.
Other idea to hide greasy hair? A wig. They are higher maintenance, but they are good to have for occasions where you have to look a bit better or if you can't wear a hat for whatever reason.
About odors... Well you know the trick of deodorants and perfume. Not what I recommend, at least not alone. For once not everyone can stand their smell. Also, they aren't that great to succeed at masking odors. If you can, use wipes to clean your armpits (also the underbreasts if you have them) and the neck and chest area. It might not remove all the odors but it'll help and with some deodorant if you can stand it, you should be good.
About deodorant: you can use a dollop of moisturiser (yes, I know I said I hate them, but listen), it will help to stop the formation of odors but the fragrance is usually mild or absent. It's also less harsh than the usual deodorant. You only need a small amount for it to work. You just need to clean before (wipes should be enough)
13. Don't stew in your dirty clothes.
Try to change your clothes often even if you don't wash. Especially your underwears.
I know it might sound counterintuitive to wear clean clothes when your skin is dirty, but staying in old clothes is like wearing a petri dish. By keeping the same clothes on you, you also keep the bacterias that live on it and your body.
It's especially bad in some areas, like your private parts, your feet and your armpits.
If you live alone, or if you live with someone who don't care, don't put clothes on at all. You'll just stew in your bacterial crock pot otherwise.
Staying naked also has the upside of reducing the amount of laundry you have to do.
14. Use your strengths.
Sometimes it's as simple as using your other hand because your dominant one is achy.
Sometimes it's listening to a podcast about your special interest.
You're an artist? Put a whiteboard in the shower. Or, I don't know, draw your body, laminate the drawing, and color the parts you have already washed with a dry erase marker.
Your thing is to make lists of animals of Paraguay? Recite them alphabetically and make a song with them while you brush your teeth and wash your face and clip you nails.
Dancers here? Each movement you make is part of a choreography.
15. Aftercare.
Hygiene is immensely stressful and energy consuming. You don't just deserve a reward, you need aftercare.
It's okay to take a nap. It's okay to need to engage with your special interest. It's okay to need a hug. It's okay to want to be alone. It's okay to feel bad too. Have a cry. Be moody. Don't be ashamed of what you feel. Of course it's better if you manage to avoid these emotions. But it's okay if you have them.
And give yourself a little treat. Have a cup of your favorite tea. Put a shiny sticker in your "things I've done good today" diary. Cuddle with your pet. Read the Swedish dictionary.
Drink a glass of water and eat something.
Also, if you have chronic pain, like I do, take your meds. (My joints are always a bit achy after standing too long, or my shoulder are stiff after washing my hair)
Write an essay about why keeping up with your hygiene is a pain.
Do what you want and do what you need.
16. Shame has no place in the bathroom.
If you've read my previous post, you know what I mean.
I've said it in this post, it's okay to struggle, to not be perfect, or as perfect as neurotypicals and able-bodied people say we should be. Their criterias are bullcrap.
Shame won't help you to keep up to these unachievable standards. They'll just undermine you.
Also, it's okay if some of what I've said here seems unachievable also. I shared what helps me and some of my friends, but your needs might be different and that's totally okay. Maybe someone will make a post with tips that'll help more? I hope so.
Anyway, you do what you can and you congratulate yourself for it. Every step is an achievement worth of praise.
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sonderinghiraeth · 12 days ago
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Stan Pines/Reader Headcanons
[ Reader from Jackie and Wilson with Stan literally poisons my brain. I think about them constantly. The worm that has taken the place of my brain told me to make little headcanons about them and who I am to deny her? ]
۶ৎ Stan loves calling into the radio station if you open up the line for calls. He makes it a whole gag and pretends to be a stranger trying to flirt you up, talking about him being a longtime fan and how sexy your voice sounds. He'll request the most cheesy corny song he possibly could like "Close to You" by Carpenters or something. You love to play long.
۶ৎ Don't even get this man started on that damn record player in his room. If you're in a particular bad mood, he'll come in, put his hands on his hips, grunt. "Uh-uhn, we're gonna have none of that." He would say, putting a jazz record on before flinging you up from the bed to wrap his arms around you and spin you around the room until you're feeling better.
۶ৎ You don't know it, but a few days after the nasty phone call with your mom, Stan took it upon himself to call her on his own terms. They talked for hours while you were at work, and eventually, Stan got her to come around. She agreed to call once you both arrive to New York.
۶ৎ Stan has how you like your coffee written down on the fridge, mainly because he keeps forgetting, and you're in such a rush when you wake up in the morning for work that he never has the time to wrack his brain and remember before you're already barreling out the door.
۶ৎ Stan really, really worries that you're selling yourself short to him. He thinks you deserve a better, younger man, especially when it started getting serious. However, on a night after you moved out of your roommates and before the portal incident, you had a midnight powwow with Stan and soothed all of his insecurities right then and there.
۶ৎ He got in bed, all solemn, mainly because he feared what you would think of him with the impending opening of the portal, and he even thought about getting you an apartment somewhere not here and a one-way ticket out of Gravity Falls. You took notice of this and finally dragged some of it out of him. Save for the portal part obviously. You straddled him in your nightgown on the bed, took his face into both hands, and with each kiss you pressed to him, you described a feature that made him worth it.
۶ৎ He would never tell you, but he probably slept a grand total of 72 hours the two weeks the two of you spent a part post portal incident. He would sit on that loveseat and ruminate about how much he regretted not being honest with you. Especially the night he could hear your laughs coming from Ford's office before you told him you decided to stay.
۶ৎ Stan lovesss when you dress all skimpy. He would give anything to have a Polaroid of you in just cutoff overalls or in some sort of country pinup outfit. And if you ever rode him? Oh, you're getting called his cowgirl from then on.
۶ৎ This man LOVES STEALING FLOWERS OUT OF PEOPLE'S FLOWER BEDS FOR YOU. And he doesn't even bother to hide that they're very obviously from like, Soos's Abuela's flowerbed or something, roots and everything.
۶ৎ He also really likes picking you up. It gives him an ego boost that he still has strength and isn't just wilting with each passing day. You also like being in his arms, so this is a very fair trade.
۶ৎ Ford would eventually tell Stan about your dream with Bill, but he never told you that he knew. Instead, he was just more heart-warmed by the fact that your thought of a perfect fantasy involved him. The morning after Ford told him, you were served breakfast in bed. Anything to make little pieces of that fantasy come true.
۶ৎ When Stan finds out your favorite bands, he makes it a point to obtain records of them, even if he has to steal them. Music is an integral part of your relationship, I mean, it's technically what brought you together.
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irregularcollapse · 23 days ago
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Something about your ‘limerance’ au has really stuck with me - all the little snippets you posted have me incredibly intrigued!
I think it’s the outsider POV to the Clegan relationship and how easily their dynamic can be misunderstood, because it’s truly only Gale and John who see each other clearly.
Would love another snippet if you’re still working on it, but otherwise just wanted to let you know that it is living in my head rent free (like all of your fics)!
I actually tried to work on this one the other day!! I got a bit self-conscious about it, but I still like the premise and every time I rewatch parts of MOTA with Curt in them, I’m reminded of how malleable an interpretation of his behaviour around the Buckies can be. I have particular thoughts about the bar scene (and it’s actually this scene that’s the basis for my ideas about past CurtBucky in ITIL).
But okay the limerance fic!! These are the first 500 words (under a cut), because I don’t actually know when I’m going to be finishing it:
The curveball is that this one is fucking blond.
Every other fuck-of-the-month that Bucky has brought round for as long as Curt’s known him—which is a long-ass time—has been a dark-haired slip of a thing. They’ve all without exception been brunette, sometimes curly, sometimes also with blue eyes, and it made good material for ribbing Bucky about his untold levels of narcissism. Curt would tease him, call his hookups The Other Bucky or Clone Kink instead of learning their actual name, and within a month they’d be gone anyway so it didn’t matter.
Then, a week or two later, there’d be another.
This one, though. This one is fucking blond, and though still not quite as tall as Bucky is definitely taller than Curt, and when he speaks he sounds like a cowboy and he moves with the ease of a dancer. They’re always pretty, of course they are, because Bucky has that face and that size and that powerful pull—pheromones, or something—but this one, well. It’s obscene, is what it is. People who go to book launch events aren’t supposed to look like that.
Bucky had asked if Curt wanted to go with him, that night. Curt remembers it, because it was a party at a bookstore for Bucky’s friend Alex and his first graphic novel, but Curt doesn’t know Alex and it honestly sounded like a bit of a drag, so he’d stayed in and played poker with his roommate’s buddies instead. It was only a couple days later, when Curt had asked Bucky if he wanted to grab a beer and see a movie, that Bucky had said, “Can’t. Got a date with a guy from the book party.”
And now, here he is: blond, and pouty-lipped, and golden-lashed, and angle-jawed; husky drawl and easy sprawl and legs long in his jeans. He had his arm spread over the back of a chair while Bucky got him a drink, and he leaves it there after Bucky sits down. The group has been talking around him, the way they’re used to talking around Bucky’s hookups (Curt had caught a raised eyebrow from Benny after they’d walked in together; he’s not the only one who thinks these things), and he hasn’t been making any effort to involve himself anyway. When Bucky sets the drink in front of him, his broad hand then drops to the guy’s thigh, spreading and squeezing. The smile he gives Bucky is a flicker. As Curt watches, Bucky leans in, and he can’t hear it over the noise of the bar from all the way across the table, but he swears that Bucky asks, “You okay?”
The guy smiles a bit wider then, nodding, and Curt’s tongue feels two sizes too big when Bucky smiles back and reaches up with his other hand to cup the guy’s chin. Maybe Curt only notices it because he’s looking, but it sends his ears buzzing when Bucky’s thumb rubs at that pink bottom lip, tracing the curve of it. Curt has never seen him do that before.
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starsworldd · 4 months ago
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Saturn/Venus rant (I’m back!) 💖
hello all! i’ve decided to come back from my break. a lot of things have happened in my life since then but i am grateful to be here again! i’ve started college in a new state and have started living more independently obviously (besides my roommates hehe) but life has certainly gotten quicker and better for me! below are some pictures i’ve taken on my travels since my break :)
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a couple of updates regarding this blog:
as far as readings go, i will now have them open! they will be upped in price and i won’t be able to give them away as quick because god knows i have been selling myself short and overworking myself💀 the readings will still be high quality, more aesthetic, and detailed as i’ve always kept them. i will update my example pdf soon
i will try and get through my submission box however it will be very slow i will not lie. while i don’t mind the occasional personal astrological question here and there, i do from now on want to use my blog as a more general space rather than just answering to people’s personal questions. so i would prefer if people submitted post ideas instead for content they would like to see from me :)
now onto today’s rant! 💖
today i want to talk about a theory/conjecture i had about astrology and how the planets operate.
i believe that a planet at its best function will actually be able to achieve its opposite function in astrogical terms. let me explain:
♂ mars is an aggressive, personally-oriented type of planet. in our charts, mars shows where/how we change our fate despite certain circumstances not being in our favor or being in its easiest forms.
♂ when mars operates in a poor manner, this can lead to people being lazy, cowardly, or blind to where one can improve themselves or life situation.
♂ when mars acts in its best manner, it’s able to work quickly and efficiently which are already inherently martian traits, but when it’s able to work efficiently/quickly it’s end-goal is to bring endings and solutions to certain problems which is a venusian trait. venus rules over death, acceptance, and peace. mars in its best manner is also highly loyal and capable of great creativity sense mars makes things anew again (aries is literal birth and then scorpio is exploring our personal/collective limits which bring about new experiences and ideas in our lives) and creativity and loyalty are often associated with venus as well.
i will give another example: saturn.
♄ we all know that saturn is a planet that rules over boundaries, restrictions, and time. but it also rules over things like darkness/death, sacrifice, self-preservation, personal limits, legacy, and even creativity. though some of these traits are similar to what i listed above for venus, we have to remember that venus is about enjoyment and pleasure. it rules over death and creativity for a different purpose than saturn.
♄ saturn at its best levels up not only the individual but inspires those who are around the individual to level up as well. think of saturnian energy as a dark room, there isn’t a thing you can see. when there are people who have managed to navigate the darkness, to somehow find a light in a place that was once dark and unknown, it motivates us to find our own “light” in places that are dark for us in our lives; in this way, saturn at its best actually helps us find the light in our lives and works for the collective via inspiration.
♄ when saturn is at its worst, it is stingy, conservative, traditional, and just simply rude. i may have thrown a few people off with listing traditional as one of its worst manifestations but i will explain:
♄ even in a sign like capricorn which is known in the astrology community for having very traditional and consistent traits, we have to first think about how traditions are established. traditions are established through consistency but traditions become traditions because they were at one point in our lives something new and interesting. these traditions at one point provided us with substances or feelings that we didn’t know of before but actually improved our lives and eventually set a new standard. that’s why capricorn isn’t necessarily traditional imo; capricorn just sets a new bar or standard when it enters the scene and it therefore becomes traditional because we aspire to meet these standards ourselves. and this ladies and gentlemen is how saturn can becoming a guiding light in our lives instead of a “wall” at its best energy💰
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hope you enjoyed!
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okay so i finally finished the first 2 seasons of 9-1-1, it took a lot longer than i'd anticipated due to other things like assignment deadlines and the app not working getting in the way but i did it
so here are the cliff notes (i might make more in depth posts in the future about some episodes because i have THOUGHTS)
cliff notes after the break i meant to add bullet points but i accidentally added a question instead and i don't know how to get rid of it (i'm currently on mobile) 🙃 so imma just use it
if the answer is no I don't need to know
first i gotta get this outta the way ... i'm not liking tommy i've only seen what 2 episodes with him in and i'm so sorry but he's been kinda mean (imma put that down to him being repressed maybe) but i'm hoping he gets a nice redempetion arc and it's not just brushed over because from what i've seen on here he's such a sweet guy but i did not get that from his first two appearances (maybe the writers just weren't expecting him to because a recurring character later)
i'm LOVING athena and bobby's relationship they're such a good fit for eachother i have been blessed to be able to witness it
it hurts so much whenever someone says "you're not their/a dad" to bobby like why would you do that
when did the writers and producers decided they wanted buck to be a queer character because I've been getting vibes already and it's led me to wonder which came first them wanting queer buck or fans wanting queer buck and them responding in kind
i'm enjoying the new dynamics that eddie's addition to the team has brought i love exploring interpersonal dynamics in my TV shows i also love eddie as a character and cannot wait to dive deeper into that man's psyche
speaking of interpersonal dynamics MADDIE!!! the ghost whisperer herslef [buck thinking a ghost called 911 HAD to be a nod to that right?!] anyways i love love love maddie i'm holding out hope for her and chim they've been through a lot and they deserve happiness
speaking of happiness when will they let chim live!?! - i know that's an ironic statement to make considering technically they've let him live twice - but they cannot seem to give this guy a break he's my guy also he's got a set of pipes on him in his flashback ep working at the kareoke bar singing garth brooks I keep thinking I've hit my peek with my love for this character and then they add something that makes me love him even more
if chim only has one fan it's me and if he has no fans then i have passed because that man means so much to me
they've been putting hen through the ringer a little bit too tbh but i appreciate that they're allowing queer people to get a little messy and make stupid mistakes but not villanising them for it and just being like these are things that happen in relationships sometimes you either work through it or you don't
i have been really appreciating how this show deals with queerness in general too its not this big flashy thing like "hey look over here we have some gays for you shiny shiny gays in our show" they just exist they're loveable they're flawed and they also just happen to be queer
okay imma stop before i ramble too much but if you wanna hear my thoughts on anything specific that happend in the first two seasons hit me up i love talking about this show and need more outlets for it
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elvisabutler · 2 years ago
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eros
summary: he was a frat boy. you were not a sorority girl. could i make it any more obvious. or how you fall for a frat boy and you two finally actually get it on but not necessarily in the way both of you intended. fandom: austin butler rating: m pairing: austin butler x female reader word count: 1716 warnings: talking shit on fraternities and sororities. mild insecurity. talk of disastrous dates. coming untouched. coming in pants. handjobs. implied p in v sex. a touch ( okay maybe a bit more than a touch ) of sub austin. impatient horny college people. author’s note: so as @blurredcolour can attest to i meant for this to be a touching little piece about how these two had sex for the first time and he sort of defied her expectations and all this nice romantic stuff. it's why i called this piece eros. yeah, then i started writing it and well, it's still romantic and sweet? but i also had the three people who saw bits before i posted forget how to breathe so oopsies. as always comments and reblogs and hearing your thoughts are my lifeblood so feel free to scream at me in dms or asks or in the comments. i'll eat it up and write like a woman possessed i swear. beyond that, if you want to be on my taglist fill out the form here. i might just make a tumblr post for it too but we'll see.
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If anyone were to have told you half a year ago that you'd be head over heels with a boy who's in a fraternity, you'd have laughed. You'd have told them that they really should brush up on their comedy skills because there was no way you would do that. Not after every aggravation you had with them. Not after every class where one of them popped up with some stupid remark that had you wanting to deck them in the face and not after knowing that just because they had gotten into some exclusive club they got a leg up on other people. Maybe it's true that's how the world worked but it didn't mean you'd have to like it. Then you properly met Austin. You got to know this stupid premed who minors in theater of all things and cares so deeply for his friends and for other people that it threatens to choke you sometimes when you think about it.
He's not perfect and he makes stupid jokes that you swat him on the arm for and spreads himself just a little too thin but he's yours and heaven help you, you're his. It's too early to be thinking about forever, you think, but the idea doesn't terrify you as much as it should. The idea of being with him as he goes through med school and as you complete your own schooling and go into the workforce is almost comforting. The idea of seeing him with a child that's a small mix of the two of you doesn't immediately make you run for the hills. The idea of him in your life, in your bed and in your apartment feels like an inevitability that comforts you more than anything else.
Of course, all of this—you like to think— might depend on whether or not Austin feels the same way. It depends on whether or not maybe tonight you can convince him that you'd honestly like to have sex with him. The circumstances are right, your roommate won't be home tonight at all and the house is fine and in capable hands. The two of you even have a date where for once Austin plans on cleaning up for something other than a frat function or a school related function. There's no reason he shouldn't want to unless he doesn't actually want you that way.
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In hindsight, you don't know why you were ever concerned as you find yourself up against your bedroom door, head tapping it lightly as Austin's hands move up your sides while his lips attack your neck.
"Austin-" you whine, as one of his hands moves to your chest, trying to free your breasts from your dress and instead just managing to squeeze them. "You— The dress, we gotta undo the dress."
Your words are clearer and said with more clarity that you thought was possible given Austin's wandering hands. Someone— one of the two of you has to keep a clear head— if only so that you can both enjoy this. So that Austin doesn't try and rip your dress or your panties or god forbid your bra to get at your body in his impatience.
Austin forces his face away from your neck and groans a little at how there's already a bruise forming from his lips, how your skin is just that little bit darker where his lips had sucked and where his teeth had nipped. You were his girlfriend and you loved him. You loved every single part of him— the part that had to work so hard in classes and at work, the part that missed his mom in the middle of the night and would call you tearing up, the part that cared about his people so deeply that he'd murder for him— they were all what made him the person you wanted to be with and that was a heady thing to know. It set a fire ablaze inside of him that threatened to overtake him and bring you with him. You were his girlfriend and here you were in a gorgeous dress still with him after what was hands down the most disastrous date he's ever had with another person. The reservation was at the wrong time, the restaurant ran out of half the food to make their dishes and there was not one but two couples breaking up next to you. Not to mention the way the uber had broken down mid trip and how the wine had spilled on his jacket ruining it until he could manage to get it dry cleaned.
Yet you were still here and in his arms and willing and wanting to have sex with him. No— you were willing to make love to him the same way he wanted to make love to you. He wants to take his time laying you out across your bed, watching your face as he enters you and watching how your face contorts when he plays with your clit while he's inside of you. He wants to see your face in ecstasy and hear your mewls of pleasure in his ear. Your nails would mark him up, drag lines down his back from how overwhelmed you are and he could see just what he does to you.
"I love you," he whispers with a reverence you weren't prepared to hear in contrast to his hands trailing fire across your skin. "I know we say it all the time but— I— I'm so thankful you gave me that shot, babe. So thankful you let me clean your car. You could have told me no—" His words are cut off with a low groan as he feels your hand undoing his belt and sticking your hand in his pants with a speed that startles him. "Babe I'm—"
"You're being—ah— very romantic, Aus. I love it— but I'm ruining my underwear and I want to see you come right now." The words that come out of your mouth have both you and Austin pausing for just a moment because while you can be startlingly blunt that particular combination of words is a bit much for even you.
"O-Okay," he manages to stutter out in response, the blues of his eyes completely overwhelmed by his pupil. "In my pants?"
Your chest heaves at the idea, at the implication that Austin would let you bring him off like this and come in his pants. It's a rush of power you aren't expecting and that you figure no one would expect. You bite at your lip, watching as Austin's eyes are glued to them before you finally answer. "Would you?"
It's Austin's turn to have his head tilt back, exposing the long length of his neck to you as you move to nip and kiss at it. You pray that he bruises there, that there's a hickey or two for everyone to see he's yours. Against your lips you feel the rumble of his voice, rough as a gravel road. "For you? Yeah. Do anything for you."
A smirk crosses your lips as you finally pull away from his neck, noting the red bit of his skin and giggling softly. Your hand twists and your thumb brushes against the tip of his cock as you just look at Austin, marveling at how he keeps ahold of you, keeps you pinned to the door even as his breathing shifts and as he bites his lips to keep quiet. "Austin," you croon, "wanna hear it. Want everyone to know I got the hottest frat boy in my apartment. That he's gonna come undone because I'm jerking him off. Want everyone to know you're all mine. That you're so—"
Austin's lips slam against yours, causing a messy kiss of clattering teeth and bitten lips in order to get you to stop talking. Even with the distraction your hand picks up the pace, moving in a way you're pretty sure Austin enjoys as he whines and whimpers into your kiss. You could die happy hearing these noises. You want to hear these noises every second you can if he'll let you. He pulls away, trying to put some distance between you two because he meant to come during sex on your bed and not like this. Not like a horny little teenager. You deserved more.
"Babe— gotta— I'm gonna—" He can't finish off the thoughts though and your hand keeps moving as you clench your thighs together the best you can.
"Austin, baby please. Do it for me?" You flutter your eyelashes and pout in what is one of— if not the dirtiest trick you could use before you feel his body curl just so and tense up just enough that you know he's gone before you feel the warmth of his come covering your hand. If you're honest with yourself you can feel your pussy clenching around nothing and you wonder if perhaps you're in the same boat without being touched in the same way.
It takes you and Austin a moment to catch your breath, staring at each other in a bit of shock before he finally says something, moving to make it so he isn't pinning you against the door. "That— I was supposed to have sex with you not—"
You cut him off with a nuzzle to his nose, watching as his face scrunches up just a little. "You still can. I still want you to. Might have gotten off last night to the idea. Was hoping you would tonight actually."
Austin swallows and watches how you shift in place, still wanting more friction. "Yeah? Want me to lay you out on the bed and make you come till you cry?" He licks his lips at the picture he's inadvertently painting and you can't help but mirror him.
"I'd like to see you try, Butler," you answer with a smile, teasing him with the old name you used to call him in anger. "It'll take a while."
"I've got all night," he shrugs before his eyes move and catch on the yoga mat by the door. "And you're pretty flexible. Lead the way to your fate, babe."
You get a call about a noise complaint from your landlord the next day.
taglist: @ab4eva, @blurredcolour, @butlersxbirdy, @precious-little-scoundrel, @eliseinmemphis, @prompted-wordsmith, @lookingforrainbows, @araxw, @thatbanditqueen, @ellie-24,��@austinbutlersgirl67, @heartbrake-hotel, @ccab, @18lkpeters, @slutforsomegoodlettuce, @dkayfixates, @kendralavon7, @chasingwildflowers, @slowsweetlove, @kxnnxy, @meetmeatyourworst, @purejasmine
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radishthespringchild · 2 months ago
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So what with me restarting my one of every fish pond farm I thought I'd make a profile for the character behind it again and post it here for anyone who might give a hoot.
So I named him Jack since I remember reading somewhere at some point that the fandom called the Player Characters who weren't Self-Inserts Jack and Jill because I call this character the "Old Man" as a reference to another OC of mine. So if I'm wrong in that regards, let me know ^^; Anyway. Jack is sort of a representation of me, but not entirely. The idea for this character is that he's an older "farmer" instead of the usual young adult you see in game or through most of the fandom (no shade or anything just pointing it out) plus it really represents me since I'm not a young "man" anymore (mid-thirties isn't old, but it's not young either, if you will >v>;). I also liked the idea of the "farmer" coming in and all of the marriage candidates falling head-over-heels for him and him having none of that lol! That's just me sort of poking fun at how you have 12 marriage options but deciding to not go for one of them. This character is fishing focused because once I got over the initial hatred and struggling of fishing I realized I love it a lot and was inspired by a Turin's Napoleon's Fishing Farm to make an entire farm with ALL fishing ponds (this was when they were first introduced) and I had in fact achieved that but eventually deleted that farm, but with the 1.6.9 update I wanted to retry that since Fishing got a massive boost! Also, the "farm" that Jack lives on is the Beach Farm since it has plenty of space for the tons of fishing ponds (unlike the River Farm) as well as I'm not totally invested in actual farming (will get high enough for maybe get Preserve Jars or even to maybe get the extra % for Smoked Fish) as well as wanted to be able to fish on the farm. It's called Sea Glass Farm. The back story behind the farm is that Jack's Grandpa used to produce a lot of quality fish, smoked fish, ingredients, and some of the finest roe and caviar but Grandpa eventually got old and sick and passed on so it was up to Jack to take over and bring Sea Glass Farm and its brand back to life! Along the way he befriended Willy since they have a shared love of fishing as well as do business together. Jack has a soft spot for elderly people so he of course had a fast friendship with Evelyn (George and him eventually grow close). Gus was easy to click with since Jack was almost always up at the Stardrop Saloon having a drink with Willy (and to extension Clint) as well as getting a lot of his meals there. And befriending Kent just kind of happened since Kent is a man of few words who just happened to hang out around one of Jack's fishing spots and they ended up bonding. So let's talk about Jack's loathing of Lewis. Jack was never fond of Lewis to begin with. He's kind of fake and two-faced, doesn't like the way he treats Marnie (she's so sweet!), and doesn't like the way he mismanages Pelican Town as well as how he keeps imposing every Yoba damned festival on a poor introverted Jack! Everything came to a head at the annual Flower Dance. Lewis knows that every single/unmarried/not dating people in Pelican Town is smitten with Jack and he really wanted to pair up the beloved farmer with someone for the Flower Dance, much to everyone's hope, envy, and jealousy! On top of Jack being introverted, he hates unwanted attention especially in public spaces, and the thought of dancing in front of the whole Yoba damned town was horrifying!! So when Lewis came over being extra pushy and not taking no for an answer... well Jack verbally laid into him! It was ugly and Lewis was beyond embarrassed and pissed! And by the end of it there was screaming, choice words, and some colorful language and Jack pretty much bounced out afterwards because his rage was spiraling and the last thing he need to do was sock Lewis in the face! (He eventually simmered down at home with his roommate Krobus who wanted to learn about dancing and Jack has some complicated feelings now, but that's not important!).
Since then the two have avoided each other with Lewis being awfully passive aggressive about it. It was definitely the hot topic of the town for weeks (much to Jodi and Caroline's pleasure lol)! So if you see Jack and Lewis conversing, it's probably for legal reasons or something important and not because they want to. Jack also isn't fond of Pierre since he's two-faced, greedy, and has tried to make claim over Jack's product (actually fighting happened that day!) so he avoids making business with him as much as possible! Clint gets on his nerves, but he's learned to put up with him as well as he's gotten to know him better. Jack and George have exchanged heated words with there coming a mutual respect for each other from it as well as playful verbal jabbing at the other. Jack has complicated feelings about Pam with them either bickering or getting along with there being no in-between. Also thinks the local wizard is rude and annoying. If Jack isn't spending his time fishing and maintaining the Sea Glass business then he can be seen lumber-jacking with Robin or helping out the Adventure's Guild with monsters in the mines or other places. Also is working with Demetrius to build a recycling system for all the trash that keeps popping up in the local water. Jack is helpful and kind, but can be quite cantankerous, especially if his social battery starts running low.
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scruffyssketchbook · 5 months ago
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RAMBLES OF A VERY TIRED AUTHOR CHAN #I lost track bro
Kind of random post, sorry!!! Might delete later 😋 idk
I originally said here that this wasn’t a vent post but it might be one after all oops. (I’m sorry I’m an over-sharer and this is my ramble blog.)
(Trigger Warning- grooming? Pedo behavior?)
So I think I mentioned this here before (like years before, idk), but there is this guy who has been stalking me for forever now or whatever. Like, he’s basically the reason I don’t accept friend requests from people I don’t know on Discord and made it so only friends can message me, cause this man would pretend to be other people to talk to me. Anyways, on one of his MANY alts that he uses to send messages to me, he basically admitted to grooming me in the Pedo way when I was a minor!!! Fun 🥰🥰🥰🥰 (this is sarcasm)
But like, that literally explains SO MUCH OF THE THINGS IN SSEC, LIKE WHAT????
Like obviously I am not going in detail of the things that were in SSEC cause it makes me uncomfortable, but it does explain a lot of it, and seeing how afterwards I proceeded to get groomed by 2 other people back to back to BACK, LIKE. For one thing
I definitely feel like the tonal shift in the series was due to all of these events. Of course, I’m not going to get into every bad thing that happened to me due to being a naive girl making a stupid pokemon webcomic (sadly it’s a lot lol), but like, I didn’t even realize that I was groomed by multiple people until I was in my 20’s. (I mean, I am in my 20’s right now, but you know) and I literally was not aware that stalker man was being a pedo towards me when I was a minor until he admitted to me that he was being one- RECENTLY.
I do feel like how SSEC ultimately turned out was due to all of this. For the longest time, I was just surrounded by a lot of negativity. And, I kind of just kind of have the natural inclination to help people or be kind to people, and that ultimately just caused people to see that and use me over and over and over again, causing both the tonal shift in SSEC as well as me closing myself more and more off to people, which- really sucks honestly. (And only now I realize that that is literally the same thing that happened to Vay, wtf)
Like- I want friends. Nothing Romantic, no strings attached, no weird power dynamics, just PLATONIC friends. But I’m extremely shy and awkward, and ofc, extremely closed off ^^;;; So it’s pretty hard for that to happen, I guess.
But I suppose that is why I like/obsess about Box 31 so much.
Box 31 is basically just wish fulfillment for me.
Because, like. The only thing I’ve ever really wanted, the thing I have been looking for, for years, are friends. And, the whole story of box 31 are outcasts making friends, and supporting each other, and growing together, and that makes me very very happy.
Living vicariously through my characters!!! I want them to be happy, I want them to smile, I want others to smile too!!! I don’t want to keep drawing sad things, yeah I like drama, there will be drama in Box 31, but in ssec it’s just so endless. I always wanted the characters to be happy at the end, but where is that end if there is an endless sea of issues?
Idk. I just remember me being freshly 18, crying on the ground (cringe ik) to my way older roommate that I just wanted friends, and I wonder if things would have been better if someone just took my hand and became the friend I needed at the time instead of me becoming totally isolated and the stalker using that to get closer to me.
Idk 😋 as I said, might delete later 😋 just kinda a bit cringe lmao
I just wanna keep drawing my Stupid Silly Eeveelutions~ la la laa
Oh. Speaking of that actually.
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chemtron-annonia · 3 days ago
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hurghhhhhh rant post but like my roommate's dumbass friend walked into our room instead of waiting outside and my other roommate didn't . have her hijab on!!! So I had to like shoo this random dude out of the room while my roommate totally froze up because her hijab wasn't near her desk at all and like... is homicide legal yet. why. kill. murder!!!! Like obviously he didn't mean anything by it but like doesn't mean I shouldn't kill him. Kindness is dead where did I put my bike pump like that could be a decent blunt force trauma weapon. Honestly where do people find the audacity because like I barely have the balls to drink a full dose of cough syrup or like talk to adults at career fairs but then fucking men out here just inviting themselves into dorms and stuff. Like all I'm saying is my particular campus has never tried capital punishment on freshmen boys and like we really can't disprove that it could work. I think one of the main issues with capital punishment is that our police and justice system struggles often to assign sentences fairly and accurately. Which would be instantly solved if I PERSONALLY did the capital punishing yk. Let me at em. And like I don't even know what to say because like I don't wear a hijab, I have no idea how much this bothered my roommate at all!! Out here trying to fix a situation when I don't even know how bad it even is. Which is why I should be allowed to chuck my bike pump at his head. Can't underreact if my reaction is kill. Send legal advice pls. What is least illegal blunt force weapon. I guess I have other makeshift weapons but I'd rather use my massive biceps to send this man to the coroner.
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sidekick-hero · 14 days ago
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First Fic Tag Game 😍
Pick a fandom and post an excerpt of the first thing you ever wrote in that fandom. Could be a scene, part of a scene, a couple of lines, whatever your first foray into writing for that fandom was. Feel free to include a link to the story it comes from if it’s been published (excerpts from WIPs count too). I was tagged by @steviewashere - thank you so, so much, this is awesome! 💜
So, below the cut is the beginning of my first fic I published on AO3 for the steddie fandom - almost exactly 2 years ago (January 28th, 2023). Now I just published my 100th fic in the fandom, lol. It's smutty because duh, of course it is and it was inspired by some Tumblr prompt.
It's pretty descriptive with very little dialogue - dialogue is something I've always been struggling with as non-native speaker and an introvert who avoids small talk like the plague 😂 I do think I improved quite a bit since then, but I miss those times when writing still felt easier. I might overthink it now, as I tend to do.
You can find the whole fic - Louder - on AO3.
“Uhhhhh – uh uh uh – ya – oh god… uhhhh“
Another loud bang, followed by an increscent squeaking.
“What the ever-loving fuck are they doing?” Steve huffs. It’s been an awful day, alright? Everyone and their mother had been out to get him today and all he wants is to curl up on his boyfriend’s chest and get some goddamn peace and quiet. Is that too much to ask?
Eddie chuckles above him, the sound a sweet rumble underneath Steve’s cheek. “Honey, do I need to give you the birds and the bees talk?”
Steve smiles, despite his annoyance. “Shut up. I showed you this morning how much I know about the birds and the bees. Twice.”
He’s rewarded with a kiss on the crown of his head. Instead of moving away, Eddie buries his nose in his hair and inhales deeply. When he answers, his breath fans through Steve’s hair. “That you did, honey. It was – “ before Eddie could say what exactly it was, a drawn-out, breathy scream makes them both jump.
“He’s either murdering her or rocking her world. Either way, I wish he would hurry up. I just want to go to sleep.”
Eddie hums, a thoughtful sound that means his boyfriend has an idea he would either love or hate. There often was no in-between with Eddie Munson.
“I think it’s very rude of them to disturb your beauty sleep like that. These luscious looks don’t come from nothing. We should teach them a lesson, big boy. You know, show them who’s boss here.”
Steve turns his head to look up at Eddie’s mischievous grin. “What are you suggesting?”
“You wanna fuck louder than them to establish dominance?”
He gawks at Eddie, not sure if he’d heard him right. They usually try to be quiet to not alert the whole building to their very gay, not-at-all-platonic-roommates relationship. Eddie’s grin just grows at the sight and he presses a quick kiss to Steve’s lips.
“Come on, let’s listen to Alice: No more Mr. Nice Guy. I know I can make you scream louder than that.” Just then, another long, heartfelt fuuuuuuck comes from the apartment above them. Eddie wriggles his eyebrows at Steve, the ‘I know you can do better than that’ a clear challenge in his heated gaze.
Steve knows it’s stupid. Even more than that, it’s risky. They like their apartment a lot, and it would be a shame if they had to move out just because some people could be narrow-minded homophobic assholes. But then again, Steve Harrington was not known to back down from a challenge. Ever.
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Tagging: @thefreakandthehair, @hyperrbolic-orange, @hbyrde36, @penny00dreadful, @pearynice, @aidaronan, @steddieas-shegoes, @judasofsuburbia and anyone else who wants to join!
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