#and giving him special mordecai invitations (by not inviting him) to their hotel room to try to marry him
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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years ago
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mordecai is the first funny bitch like spends 90% of his time literally just standing there going "i'm dapressed" to himself while everyone in the vicinity takes potshots and then he's clocking in for the night shift where for the next 9 hours people go "god mordecai would it kill you to act like you're having more fun at the [kills you] factory"
#The First Funny Bitch as a phrase from the ''cain was the first funny bitch'' post that i will use with some flexibility. yaknow.#i love going like oh boy a coworker triumvirate. their funny little guy (other duo going ''i want him dead'')#though it's unfair to the savoys lmfao if he's at best sometimes a desk toy to them: they do at least keep calling him babygirl#and giving him special mordecai invitations (by not inviting him) to their hotel room to try to marry him#so if nothing else we do appreciate adding a ton of flair to [afflicting the autistic coworker]#in turn i appreciate that mordecai and viktor's dynamic probably consisted of mutual ''i Do Not Care if my coworker seems weird''#but outside of that; was anyone at lackadaisy aggrieving mordecai with the style & variety that the savoys bring....perhaps not#an upgrade in that realm....and there seems to be Some mutual [i do not care if my coworker seems weird] there again too lol#even while they've all probably been working together like half a week & haven't all worn their getalong sweater long enough#and already mordecai is doing his [not just literally standing there] rogue lone mystery solving deal lmao. wild card that he is#lackadaisy#oh also speaking of [before mordecai went grr i Hate still working here; ripped off the fridge door; went & got a new Hated job]#it's pure bonus comic realm & particularly Elevated Silly Goofs genre at that; but#points for ivy having that Younger Sibling dynamic w/mordecai w/the implication she takes his forbidden condiments index seriously#and like; in general lol not even just a [it's serious when it comes to dealing with this weird guy] way. all the more powerful for that#wait i nearly forgot to mention the hot new otp: mordecai / j.j.#that's right [sad trombone] providing guy. i know enough. first funny bitch 4 first funny bitch.#[guy doing his own thing & everyone's like Get His Ass] 4 [guy doing his own thing & everyone's like Get His Ass]#and ofc because it is funny in & of itself. & basically like Your New OC. so much room to maneuver that you cannot crash#also hmm like if your nickname for someone is Maybe ''annoying mf'' does it cancel out....eh#numbers flying around intense focus like everything points to ''hatchet would directly translate to hatchette not petit hache''#and if you mon petit hache it (read this w/such a meter that it all rhymes)#900 tons of restraint not going ''wow this is just like analyzing billions'' & by even saying i've managed to avoid as much; now i haven't
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💖”Star🌠Gazing”💖 Finale
Tommy’s Story
From that moment on, every once or twice a week me and Sanjay (sometimes Jenny would join us) went to Bikini Atoll so he could meet up with Craig and have a good ol’ get-together.
One fateful day, Queen Angelica made a special announcement in the rose garden with a mysterious little chest in her hand, waiting to be opened to all of her knights; raising a hand, I asked her: “What’s inside the box?”
“Good question, Sir Thomas.” she replied back in a-sort-a snarky little tone.
Finally, she talked over near us and opened the chest, revealing little, round, golden badges with each with a huge ruby encrusted right in the middle.
“These will come in handy for your most dangerous threats.” she said in a much nicer tone than before, handing each one to all of us; Sanjay was very stoked, bragging about his status to Spongebob and Patrick and going on and on about how he was gonna rescue them whenever they where in deep slime, then going back to me in private, squealing on how cute and pretty it looked~ that night, me and Sanjay slipped out of the palace and decided to go to (where else?) Bikini Atoll, this time Sanjay planning on giving Craig a small gift consisting of a meat-lover’s pizza and hot wings in a little basket; when we finally arrived in the hotel, Craig (who was probably living there now) greeted us and hugged Sanjay, telling him how happy he is to see him come every week.
“I have a gift for you!” Craig proudly roared with joy.
“Me, too!” Sanjay squeaked.
I could hear the audible “Awww”s from the crowd at the joint, seeing the two birds in such a sweet state; first, Sanjay presented the lunch he brought him, with a smile: “I made you this.”
“For me? aw shucks, thanks dude.” Craig told him, following: “And now, here’s my gift to you.”
He hands Sanjay a small box, kinda like the one Angelica clutched in her hand earlier, the eager boy opened the trinket and found a very rare and exotic treasure: a perfectly round saltwater pearl from the depths of the sea; Sanjay couldn't help but express his gratefulness with tears of happiness.
“It’s absolutely beautiful, Craig...thank you...”
“Sanjay, there’s also a question I’ve been wanting to ask you...”
“What is it?”
Before he could ask his question, two lasers shot out of my badge (Sanjay wasn’t wearing his) and zapped the two boys right in the chests, leaving them in screaming agony and pain and both me and Jenny in shock.
“I’ll get the boys to a hospital immediately, there’s stuff there that can heal you!” Jenny proclaimed as she grabbed the boys and prepared to fly off before another laser could strike at her as I took a quick, suspicious look at my badge and saw Angelica’s face on there, realizing she was spying on us while controlling the lasers just so she could kill her “traitors”! and with that, I take the badge off my shirt, threw it on the ground to stomp on it but before I could do so, one last laser was shot into my left leg and zapped it right off of me, next thing, sure enough: I found myself lying on the ground, screaming in agony.
.................................................?
Much later, I woke up in a small hospital room somewhere, possibly far away from Bikini Atoll, on top of a comfy bed with a drawer and lamp on one side and a vintage TV on the right that was playing Reptar movies, I also felt as if somehow I got my left leg back; I was thinking: "Did Jenny save us?", to find out, I removed the covers to find that I have, indeed, got my leg back but I had no idea how so I got up out of the bed to look for answers, only to feel blood leaking from my leg after a few seconds into leaving the room; I turned around and saw it wasn't typical blood: it was pitch black like squid ink (no offense, Squidward)~ Finally, Jenny appears to clean up the mess and apologize a dozen times, now was my chance to ask her some questions.
"Jenny..." I ask: "...why is my blood black?"
"Tommy, that's not blood: that's an oil leak from the prosthetic leg I gave you."
“Thanks.....wait a minute, you’re a doctor!?”
“Well, yes....you see: my Mom teaching me how to build and create things outside of school inspired me to become a doctor so I could save more lives, especially those who get injured during my fights with the giant monsters I battled in Tremorton, I am a superhero so I thought it would make sense.”
“I see, thank you Jenny....also, where's Craig and Sanjay?"
"They didn't make it" she said, "No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t fix the damage that laser did to the inside of their hearts...I'm so sorry, Tommy." she said as she hung her head in grief.
My jaw dropped, my hands started shaking and my heart boiled with rage aimed at Angelica~ look, I know she's overzealous and prideful but she went far over the line, going as far as to physically hurt me and kill my friends, something even her 4 year old self would have never done and that's when I realized it was too late for her to change, no matter how many times I've tried, she'll always get worse but before I could vent my feelings on that blonde witch, I saw a little girl around Fabian’s age, seated on a chair by the window; she kinda looked like a tinier Sanjay but with pigtails and Craig’s golden eyes.
"Where did the kid come from?" I ask her.
"Well, they asked me a favor, you see: they told me that they always wanted to have a little buddy to have around when Sanjay would be able to move out so their final wish was to see her brought into the world; I couldn't use a DNA sample from either of them since they where already dead so I decided to improvise with some good ol’ mechanics.”
“I wonder if she has a name.”
“Sanjay suggested that they’d name her a name meaning “💖”.”
“What would that be?”
“Lalasa.”
💔
Lalasa’s POV
All this time I could have been living with a couple of very happy people being there for me 24/7 instead of living in a crummy school dorm with no one around and all I could do was hide my face in Tommy’s chest, letting it all out; moments later, I stopped sobbing and we both heard the faint sound of a crowd screaming from outside~ we looked out the window and saw an aircraft carrying out a couple members of the infamous Cartoon Network, as they where panicking like headless chickens; I wonder why?
🌠
Plucky’s POV
“WHY THE HECK DIDN’T YOU THREE CHOOSE THE QUICK-DRY PAINT!?” I roared with all the rage in my body at my so-called “Golden Boys” (more like “Bronze Boys” at this point) as I was trying to find a safe place away from the Dictator and her army.
Eddy back-sassed: “But it was Lumpy over here who picked it out!”
“You shoulda known better and picked out the paint yourself, you pink roach!”
“How dare you call me a roach after all those plans we gave your high and mighty hiney!”
The two of us argued and argued as Angelica and her goons where catching up on us, without any warning, a painted “golden” anvil quickly-as-possible got launched right at my face, booted me out of the craft and lead me into the lake as the craft crashed into a tree; it was about that time she was gonna arrest us~ was this the end of an era for our organization? well, no, not really for I had one more trick up my sleeve....literally! I hid a walkie-talkie in there for a special occasion.
“Do any of you me!?” My break-of-silence caused everyone to get their own out of their compartments and respond.
“Yo, have any backup plans?” Mordecai, my fellow fine feathered friend, replies first.
“See the blimp?”
“Yeah.”
“Is Alpha Quebec still aboard our ship?”
“Waaay ahead of you, dudes.” Amethyst chirps.
“Well, you’re a shape-shifter and you have a whip with a sharp, pointy end~ you have multiple choices so do the math! over and out.” I sign off.
It would not be long before I saw the glorious sight of Amethyst turning into a form familiar to her “Purple Puma” facade, breaking off a sharp, pointy tree branch and then launching it at the blimp’s balloon and making it whiz off into the sunset to the cheering of the other crew members~ we later celebrated our victory at the Cold-Kauss that evening, inviting all the rest of the CN team and our allies at Ghost Planet Industries for an all-nighter’s banquet in honor of our greatest attempt at our brand of Le Parkour.
“Goodness, you must have had a wild night....If I was still serving under you, I would have definitely had my sword handy.” said Jack, noticing the bandages that covered my head from the great fall I had.
“Yeah, but it turned out to be one of our best though! you shoulda seen the look on An-Devil-ca’s face!” I chuckle.
“So who’s paying for all of this?” He asks.
“I made a deal with the three stooges (the Eds): So don’t get fired, Eddy loans me their cash for every time a plan of theirs backfires~ riiiiight Eddy boi?”
Eddy, with a sour look on his face replies: “Yeah yeah, don’t rub it in.” as he gives me another dollar to pay for Jack’s tea.
🌠Thanks for reading!🌠
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