#if i had her wardrobe i'd never be sad

[yourfavecharacterisqueer]

girls don’t want flowers, they want morgana pendragon’s s1-3 wardrobe!!

[wizzdot]

The Patron Saint of One Way Trips

Ch9

Description: more progress. Laika goes shopping with Gaz and Cap. Cap looses his cool in the lingerie shop but keeps it hidden. Gaz is upfront to John about how he feels. Progress progress progress. Johnny is busy looking after Simon!

*Laika’s POV*

I close my eyes and try to trick my brain to switch itself off. I toss and turn for what feels like hours. Everything is so foreign here. It's too clean, too spacious and open. I climb from the bed and lean down to organise an area to sleep underneath, like I had done at the safe house. Shit. The bed is solid. It has built in storage drawers underneath. I look around the room and try to figure out a more secure sleeping location. My eyes settle on the walk in wardrobe. I scramble towards the door, clutching my blankets and hanky. Yes. This would do. It's small, dark and gives me an extra barrier if someone were to intrude.

I crawl in and curl up into a ball. This was much better. A few minutes pass and I eventually fall asleep.

I don't feel well rested when I wake up to muffled knocking. I forget where I am for a few seconds, as I blink away sleep. It's pitch black. Oh yeah.. the cupboard. I'd slept in the cupboard.

"Laika" a muffled voice carries through the door. Two doors. I rush to my feet, feeling light headed from standing too quickly. I blink away the black spots in the corners of my vision and hurry to open the door. Its Gaz.

"How'd you sleep?" he asks, glancing at the bare bed with a furrowed brow. He doesn't bring it up. "Uhm.. better, I think" I respond. He smiles and holds his hand out for me to take. "Let's grab something to eat, then we can get ready for your big shopping spree. Did you not get chance to dig through your drawers? I thought Cap said he'd asked to have them filled with clothes for you. Just guessed your size but it'd be better than walking round in mine and Soap's clothes everyday..they're huge on you.." he laughs.

"I didn't think to look..I can go and get changed and give you your hoodie back if you like?" I suggest, slowing slightly as he leads me down the hall. He tugs me forward gently. "Don't want it back, love. You keep it, makes it special huh? Your first proper gift since you escaped" - "I didn't escape. Soap.... stole me." I wince at how that sounds said out loud but Kyle seems to find it hilarious. He laughs loudly "Yeah, Johnny does have a habit of taking things. He 'borrows' stuff all the time and never returns them. Guess he's went and done the same with you" he chuckles, squeezing my hand.

I find myself smiling along with him. It felt foreign on my face. "Toast again? Or cereal?" - "toast please.." - "fine, but you're having at least two slices today. No more under-eating, yeah? Gotta look after yourself, Laika. You've got a busy few weeks ahead of you". My happiness fades, I feel like I'd been doused with a bucked of ice cold water. Oh yeah, I forgot. This was temporary. Just a few weeks. Then I'd be on my own again. Abandoned when I was no longer useful.

I lean against the counter as Gaz flutters around the kitchen. The toast is in front of me before I have chance to snap out of my sad thoughts. "Remember what I said? Eat up, busy few weeks ahead, yeah." That's it, Gaz, rub it in. "Yeah" I reply "busy few weeks". I repeat glumly. Gaz furrows his brows, but tries to brush over whatever had upset me. I can tell he is confused.

*Gaz's POV*

I had set my alarm early - I was buzzing to spend the day off base with my Alpha and Laika. A rare treat for us when we were usually bogged down by missions and paperwork. I had showered and dressed before knocking on Laika's door. Weird. I thought she was a light sleeper but for some reason it took her about a minute to start rustling about after I'd started knocking. She greeted me at the door, still wearing mine and Johnny's clothes. That caught me off guard a little bit.

I smile at her and lead her down the hallway. Her hand feels so nice in mine. I was stupid and brought up the clothes and my hoodie and she thought I wanted my hoodie back. That was the last thing I wanted. She seems pleased when I offer the hoodie to her as a gift but she doesn't really say anything. To be honest, it's more of a gift to myself. I swear I can start smelling a tiny hint of something that wasn't mine or Johnny's scent. Could just be whatever she used to shower.

She seems to withdraw from me, all of a sudden. What did I say? Did I upset her by telling her to eat more. Fuck, Kyle. You stupid prick. I needed to have a chat with Cap.. he always knew how to diffuse this sort of situation. I'd do that when I drop her back at her room to get changed for her shopping trip. Hopefully she still wanted to go. Fuck, she looked so out of it again. Maybe it's the drugs still in her system...

*Laika's (Y/N's) POV*

Gaz leads me back to my room again after I'd eaten a slice and a half of toast. He seemed a little sad. He probably wasn't looking forward to being dragged out to the shops with me. His time could probably be better spent.. "I - I don't mind if you'd rather not come to the shops with me.. I don't want you to feel like I'm dragging you off base when you have more important things to do.." I offer him an out.

*Gaz's POV*

My stomach drops.. she didn't want me to go with her anymore. Think Kyle, think!

"Do you not want me to come? It's your call, love" I say in the most balanced voice I can manage. She furrows her brow and looks up at me. Why is she confused? I'm confused..

*Laika's (Y/N's) POV*

"I just don't want to be a burden.. I - I would like you to come with me.. but only if you actually want to..." I murmur, feeling guilty. "That's settled then, I'm coming" he smiles brightly. I remind myself that this is only temporary. "The clothes I told you about are in the drawers under the bed. I asked to put a few shoes in one of the drawers too, checked the size of your boots at the safe house. Hope you don't mind..." - "You didn't have to do that.. I feel bad that you're wasting money on me.." - "None of that" he interrupts before continuing "we get paid well and have very little opportunity to spend it, so it's actually nice to buy things. Especially for you.." he trails off.

I rub the back of my neck, feeling anxious under his gaze. "I'll shower and get dressed then.. Is the Captain ready?" - "He said he needed to call Laswell quickly, he should be ready whenever we are. I'll wait in the kitchen for you. Just come find me when you're done" he smiles and waits at the door before turning away when I start closing it. I quickly shower and change, choosing some black cargo style trousers and a form-fitting black body suit. It was all fairly standard military issue clothing but I actually liked it. It was comfortable and...mine.

Lined neatly in the drawers on the other side of the bed are a few pairs of shoes. I immediately feel guilty even though he had told me not to. There were black converse, and a few branded trainers. They had spent far too much on me, I was going to tell him. I choose the converse and put my hair in a tidy low-bun. Time to find Gaz.

When I reach the kitchen, Gaz and the Captain are already waiting. John jingles the car keys at me in a friendly nature with the sweet smile that he so often has on his face. "Let's go and get you decked out with whatever you need, Y/N".

John drives, Gaz sits up front and I sit in the back. I find myself biting my nails, trying to distract myself from the anxiety clawing at me. Gaz faces me from the front seat - "What is first on your list?" - "shower stuff and socks and.. underwear.." I reply awkwardly, blushing slightly. "Did you have stuff to use in the shower at base? I asked for some to be provided before we arrived" the captain asks "yeah.. there were a couple of small bottles of the unscented stuff.." I explain.

*Gaz's POV*

That answer piqued my interest... so if the shower gel she used was unscented, that means that whatever the faint smell I could pick up that wasn't Johnny or I, must be hers. That must mean that the drugs were fading from her system. I feel the Alpha in me get a little excited at the possibility of finally learning her scent. Beta's had nice calming, soft scents. I needed to get closer and try and scent her.. find out what she smells like.

*Laika's (Y/N's) POV*

The captain pulls up at a large multi-shop shopping center and we all get out of the car and walk towards the main entrance. I feel a little anxious - this was the first time in years that I'd been out in public without having an objective to track someone or assassinate a target. I felt as if everyone's eyes were on me but that was just my anxiety talking. I am safe with John and Kyle... "I think we should just start at the first shop we get to and work our way around, clockwise - that's probably easiest. Y/N - whatever you see, just pick it up. There is no limit or budget. I mean that.." John explains. I nod while still biting my finger nails. He gently removes my hand from my mouth and tutts at me "bad habit, that".

Gaz grabs my hand and smiles. He was good at reassuring me.. always there with a kind smile or gentle encouragement. "Let's go then" he says.

The shopping trip is successful, I am exhausted though. I slump into the back seat of the car while the Alpha's load several bags into the boot. They insisted on literally buying anything I so much as looked at. We came away with soft fur blankets, pillows, cushions, clothes, underwear, shower and skin care products, jackets, shoes, workout gear, jeans, other clothing - hell - John even bought me some summer dresses that he had caught me gazing at. He refused to take no for an answer. Gaz had disappeared for a few minutes and returned with a build-a-bear styled after himself, cap and everything. He gives it to me and it REEKS of him - he must have scented it. I blush and take it. John shakes his head fondly at the young Alpha.

*John's POV*

The Alpha inside of me was positively preening. A happy Kyle and Y/N was a job well done as far as I was concerned. Kyle had told me in the kitchen to try and scent Laika closely today because he had picked up an unknown scent earlier under his and Johnny's clothes - that was interesting. I am aware of it all day. It's faint - hardly even there, but every time she feels nervous or happy, it heightens a little. It was almost like a reward, the Alpha inside of me quickly learnt. We had developed quite a good little routine.

It went like this - Laika shows interest in something from afar, I move her toward it and encourage her to get it for herself, she hesitates and makes up excuses on why she shouldn't, I send Kyle with my card to buy it anyway. She gets all bashful and I get a fleeting hint of that faint scent that had started coming from her. See something. Buy it for her. Inhale her scent. Repeat - repeat - repeat.

I almost lost the plot in the lingerie shop. I wasn't quite sure what came over me but I had to push the Alpha down, I was getting far too excited and I could tell Y/N was feeling a little awkward, especially when the cashier called her a 'lucky girl' while glancing between the three of us. I feel myself grumbling with pride and stepping closer to her and Kyle. Snap out of it, John. She isn't your pack. Chill out!

*Laika's (Y/N's) POV)

I fall asleep on the drive home, comforted by the teddy with the scent of Gaz. The car smelt strongly of the entire pack but John and Kyle's scents were certainly heaviest. Since when did I start recognising scents so well? Another thing I should bring up to the doctor when I eventually feel brave enough to visit.

*Gaz's POV*

I nudge John and tell him to look at Laika. She had fallen asleep clutching the Gaz-bear up at her nose. John shocks me when he purrs slightly. I whisper so I don't risk waking her up "S'not only me feeling oddly attached to her, then..?"

"Kyle.." he warns in a grumbly whisper. "Don't get ahead of yourself".

I feel a little deflated at his answer before he speaks up again, rubbing my scent gland with his rough fingers "But yes, there is something intriguing about her, isn't there? Oranges and honey and something flowery.. I can't put my finger on it - it's faint but it's her.."

The Alpha inside of me hums happily, feeling encouraged at the pack Alpha's opinion.

"I want her to stay, Cap" - "I know you do, Gaz.. but we have to take things at her pace. We don't know much about her. And Simon isn't the most welcoming. We've got to look after our pack as well.. can't just make decisions for everyone without discussing them first.."

"I'll speak to Johnny, I think Ghost could come round if he gave her a chance.."

"We'll see Gaz, but don't get your hopes up" he squeezes my thigh from the drivers seat.

I stare at Y/N who sleeps the entire way back to base.

Beautiful.

[shinidamachu]

kagome higurashi, occupation: it girl

We're constantly talking about what a fashion icon Kagome is, but I haven't seen many actual analyses of her style or how it got translated from the manga to the anime, so I thought it was a fun, innocuous discussion to have this @inuvember. I'm not an expert on the subject by any means, but here's a compilation of my observations.

The first thing I noticed is probably the most obvious: she thoroughly enjoys showing off her legs, which she does by wearing an obscene amount of skirts, rarely jeans and never shorts, not even as a PJ.

The interesting detail is that she mostly pairs them off with a top that would completely cover her arms and shoulders, which is smart because puts her legs even more in evidence and brings an elegant balance to it. Sundresses seem to be the only exception to that rule:

Now, when it comes to prints, the anime left me the impression that she favors solid blocks of colors rather than especific patterns, but comparing to the manga it's easy to see that's just not true.

Not only does Kagome rock any print she wears, she also seems to have a preference for plaid variations.

Sadly we only got to see in the anime through the sundress above and the iconic Day of Days outfit (the high school uniform doesn't really count).

She likes her flowery patterns as well, although that's only really a thing in the manga. Of course, I understand Sunrise probably toned down this aspect of her clothing choices to make them easier to animate, but we can still mourn it.

The next one is particularly sad to me because it was one of my all time favorite manga outfit of hers and they replaced it with one she had used before in The Soul Piper and the Mischievous Little Soul.

The same outfit was recycled again in Sota’s Brave Confession of Love. It was literally copy and past, except for the colors.

And to add insult to injury, this was the original look:

Another thing that was pointed out by @kagomehigurashi in this amazing post is that her "stay at home" clothes are incredibly versatile: she can go from very fashionable sweaters to her fun SHAM shirt collection just like that. But when she goes out, she goes all out.

Overall, I think we can conclude that her wardrobe was pretty colorful. Especially in the anime, there's not a lot of black, if any, and Kagome tends to go for pastel. She also seems to be a big fan of overlaying: her outfits are often completed with cardigans, coats or jackets.

Plus, I'd say comfort is a priority for her. The vast majority of her clothes don't seem restricting at all and her shoes consist basically on loafers, sneakers and ballet flats. Even the heel we saw her wear once was of a wedge type.

She rarely uses accessories, but she limits herself to one or two when she does. It's usually a purse and some jewelry or belt (at least in the manga). Her hair is always down except for the occasional braid (also only in the manga), PE ponytail and bath bun.

It could have been interesting if Takahashi had also used Kagome's fashion sense to showcase how much she changed during her journey, but Kagome's style remained extremely consistent. I guess she found it very early on what she was about. I'd describe it as romantic boho, but I don't even know if that's a thing.

What I do know is that it was far from basic, that she appeared to be having a lot of fun expressing herself throught it and that it felt more mature in the manga, even if most of them are just covers or bonus art.

[raayllum]

Anyway notes on the poster

There's a swirly, cosmic feel, with both dark magic purple, star magic purple, as well as actual darkness/blackness that evoke the stars and a general feeling of sadness and chaos. This is per the course for Aaravos' colour associations as well as Claudia's

Her hair seems to be 3/4ths white rather than just 1/2, making me think that after 6x01 there'll be a brief timeskip and she'll have whiter hair from doing some of Aaravos' bidding. Her outfit also seems to be different (most notably the white collar) which makes sense and also invokes Kim'Dael's chain a bit.

Claudia is the only character whose never had a significant wardrobe change (Viren had his in late stage S3) in order to showcase her stagnation and preserve the secret timeskip, so post-6x01 might be her last big chance for a wardrobe change (prosthetic leg and all). Here's hoping!

The fact it looks like she's in an ocean of sorts, hair like tendrils in the water, reflects her walking into the water in both Viren's dreams (5x03) and reality (5x09): "The wave - it will swallow you up!" ("I swallowed her" —Aaravos, 5x09)

Claudia crying (as in S6 she'll be undeniably grieving and isolated) makes sense. I'm more interested in the potential eye symbolism, as eyes are accordingly important for dark magic and was a motif heavily present with Viren. Claudia being unable to 'see clearly' through the eye that metaphorically holds her human (dark haired, non dark magic) side? Yeah.

Furthermore, we also see Aaravos in the murky waters below likewise with an eye motif, a particularly bright star in the sky being a stand in for his eye. Together, perhaps, he and Claudia have 'full sight', and it may indicate that constellation's importance to him / general starry vibes, as we know (child Aaravos?) Leola is closest to Claudia on the star chart map. Pre-S4 I'd thought that star had been the south star, but we know that it and Leola's Last Wish is one and same, so it must be something different

Claudia is on the 'human' side of the star chart (where the 5 human kingdoms are) and thereby with more (but not all of her potential symbols, like the bumblescorp on the other side) of her associative symbols: the unicorn (for obvious reasons, and also tied to Leola) as well as the book three (Claudia almost walked into a tree in 1x01 because she was reading, and Callum mentions the three was planted 300-ish years ago, which would line up with the Orphan Queen's origins).

Listen to me. Listen. Claudia is one half of the star chart. I am willing to bet $5 whole ass dollars that a Callum poster will follow up where he is the other half, because he and Claudia are Aaravos' primary puppets going forward. (Would also parallel their dual set up from the "Lost" and "Found" S5 posters.) I need it.

That said if it's not Callum, 1) Viren (as a leftover pawn who cannot escape) and 2) Rayla (as motivation for Callum, much the same way Claudia has been motivation for Viren, and building on their arc 2 parallels thus far) are my next best guesses.

Frothing at the mouth. Gnawing my own leg off. Thank you for everything

[thekatebridgerton]

Rewatching s3 I realized that I never actually gave my opinion on the full season to you guys.

Mostly because it was good, every single Penelope and Colin scene was well written, well paced and crafted to bring their relationship full circle. In fact if I could edit s3 into a movie I'd cut everything off and leave the 1 or 2 hours of accumlated screentime that Penelope and Colin had together. Nicola and Luke really brought their A game.

Lord Debling wasa solid character, I really liked him, at first I thought he was going to be like Theo and have no purpose other than make Colin jealous, but he stood his ground as a well developed character ( for the few episodes he was in), I'm sad that he seemingly disappeared after Penelope and Colin got together and I genuinely wish he'd have found a good bride who would write to him and take care of his estate in his absence.

Francesca's storyline with John was also very complimentary, I once said I wanted to see how Eloise related to Francesca who didn't mind being a debutante just like Daphne and I am glad they gave Francesca her own unique charm as well as her own brand of awkwardness, not as obsessed with being perfect as Daphne but also not as antagonizing as Eloise. John was just the right ammount of kind and special that you can see how much Francesca really loves him. ( I'm choosing to ignore what I know of the books and look at Francesca's meeting with Michaela as just another awkward moment Francesca suffers in front of an extrovert .. mostly because I think its weird that neither John or his staff told Michaela he was married and to a Bridgerton sparkler at that, the whole ' and you are' felt really out of place and made me scratch my head)

The featheringtons actually felt more organically integrated into the plotline because this season they are in the position of being the female lead relatives so their shenanigans actually feel more plot relevant. And add levity to what would otherwise be a very dramatic series of episodes

Now on to the things I made fun of: every scene Benedict had with Lady Tilly, is very skippable, and honestly not plot relevant, after 2 seasons of watching him hoe around, a third one is just overkill. Also lady Tilly catching feelings and Benedict activating ' I want my freedom' mode is so hilarious. Gosh I wish him a very sexually frustrated and abstinent season 4.

Eloise friendship with Cressida also felt like filler. I know I've been saying Eloise needs friends since forever but I meant Kate, or Edwina or Sophie. Cressida Cowper was..a choice. And one that ultimately added very little to Eloise character development. But hey at least Eloise tried to make friends this season, I call that a step in the right direction.

Overall it was a good season, I'm sorry if I complain a lot about the parts I didn't like, but for the most part, it was good watchable content with a few snags that can be ironed out in fanfiction. The dresses were amazing and I hope their wardrobe department gets a raise for the hard work they put in these 2 years of sewing and pattern making. Hopefully one day I'll get a documentary about the Bridgerton wardrobe department process of selecting fabrics and making dresses. It would be lovely to see.

So far that's been my very belated season 3 review. And that's the tea

[u10como]

Some time ago, i released this picture on my DA with a caption, later suppplemented by a short story expanding on the theme, followed by personal afterword regarding my background and themes of the story, which i now decided to present here on tumblr, all joined into one text. Once again, english isn't my first language, it was one of the first longer pieces i wrote and i'm by no means a writer, but i hope some of you might enjoy it nonetheless.

Hope you don't mind

You met her on an online forum about your favourite band and you've been messaging for a month now. She was just perfect: Funny, smart and as far as you were aware she was really interested in you, but everytime you suggested meeting somewhere, she said she's either busy or just changed the subject. Not wanting to push her, you gave her some time to think about it.

One morning a message from her, accompanied by a photo landed in your inbox:

"So...this isn't easy for me, but you seem like genuinely good person and i'd hate myself if i passed that opportunity  because i was insecure. Anyway, this is me. I had an accident with high voltage  power lines six months ago and i'm still insecure about meeting new people or going in public in general.

If you feel weird about it i completely understand and won't bother you any more, but if you still want to meet, i know a nice little pizzeria just around corner from where i live. The owner is an old family friend and could arrange a small room in the back for us so people won't stare."

Why should i mind?

As you read the message over and over, your mind is racing, filled with mixed emotions. On one hand, you're relieved – she really wants to meet you after all. On the other hand you can't help but feel sad – such a beautiful, smart girl, full of life, suffering from such horrible injury. Of course, you never for a second consider saying no to her proposition – she is still the great girl you messaged with the past month. You immediately write your reply:

„Hey! Of course i still want to meet you - i've been asking to meet you for some time now and nothing changed about that! Today, 4 in the afternoon works for you? Just tell me where the pizzeria is and i'll wait for you there.“

In few minutes she replied:

„Oh, you can't believe how relieved i am – thank you for not being weird about it! Yes, 4 will be perfect time. The pizzeria is Giovanni's on the corner of Oak and Harbor st – just tell the owner you're Jana's friend, he'll seat you in the back.“

„Well… I have a date!“ you think to yourself. Rummaging through your wardrobe you struggle to find anything you'll be satisfied with – going all dressed up like to prom seems like overkill, but you don't want to come all casual either – after all, you really care for her and you want to show it. In the end you settle for your least worn cargo pants with a T-shirt of your favorite band – you know she likes them too, so you hope this might outweigh your otherwise way too casual look. You set off early, intending to buy flowers for her. After careful consideration, you buy a nice bouquet of seven pink carnations and set off to Giovanni's.

As you step inside ten minutes before 4, the owner – a rather short, somewhat overweight yet muscular man with large hands and a bushy mustache above his friendly smile greets you. „Welcome to Giovanni's, what can i do for you?“ „Uhm, hello, i am Friend of Jana…“ „Oh, Wonderful, wonderful!“ the owner interrupts you with a big warm smile, A friend of our little Jana is my friend too! Right this way, have a seat, i'll bring you a vase for these beautiful flowers. Care for a drink in the mean time?“ „Yes, i saw you serve a homemade lemonade, please.“ you answer. „A wonderful choice! Comming right up!“ says the owner with a wide smile.

With that, the owner runs back front, returning in half a minute with your lemonade served in beautiful tall glass with pieces of lemon, lime and mint leaves, toped with a bright red straw. „Here you go! When Jana arrives i'll send her right away. Now, if i may ask, when did you two met? Pardon me for asking what might be a personal question, but you see, being friends with her parents ever since i moved here, Jana is like niece to me.“ "Oh, don't apologise, i understand.“, you reply, “To be frank, we haven't met in person yet, we were just chatting over internet and i really liked her – and the feeling was mutual, dare i presume.“ „I see“, says the owner, „So you know about…?“, He struggles to put his thoughts to words, instead just shrugs his shoulders one by one.

„Oh? Oh! Yes, i do. In fact, she told me just this morning.“ „I was just asking.“, nods the owner, „You see, our poor little Jana suffered enough. I just don't want her to leave today with a broken heart, so i wanted to make sure you won't freak out or something.“ „Oh no, don't worry, sir. I was asking her for a meetup for two weeks before i knew about it. I liked her before i knew about it and i don't see why it should change anything.“ The owner nods his head „I see. You're good in my books then, kid. I'm glad Jana found someone so understanding.“ He pats your shoulder as he says that.

There is a ring from the little bell above entrance and a young woman's voice calls:

„Uncle Tigran, are you there?“ „That's her.“ Says the owner and rushes off to the front. „My little Jana, it's so nice to see you again! Your friend is in the back, go, have some fun, and when you're ready, call me and i'll be right back to take your order.“

You stand up to greet her. In few seconds, she peeks inside the room with a shy, almost affraid look on her face. As your eyes meet, she smiles at you and you smile back. Despite the smile, her green eyes show a hint of timid apprehension. As she steps in, you notice her motionless hands, convincing at first glance, but knowing her condition, obviously artificial.

"Hi, nice to finally meet you", you say, holding the bouquet of carnations forward. "Oh, these are beautiful, thank you, she says, leaning in to smell them. Looking into her beautiful green eyes, your heart flutters with happiness.

„I'm really so glad to finally meet you in person“ you say. „You're even more beautiful than on the photo .“

„Oh, thank you. Nobody said such thing to me since…“ she pauses, looking into distance. After few seconds she breaks off, shyly attempting to smile on you. „Anyway, would you mind helping me with my coat?“ „Of course, right away“, you say as you move in to unbutton it. As you remove her coat, the prosthetic arms slip off her shoulders, staying firmly inside the coat's sleeves, letting her little arm stumps show. „Oh, sorry, i didn't mean to, let me…“ you stammer an apology.

„No, that's allright. They were meant to come off. I should have told you. I wear them on the street to avoid the stares, but they are so uncomfortable, so since here i am among people who know about me, i just hooked them to the coat so i don't have to wear them all the time.“

As you sit on the opposite sides of the table, you suddenly don't know what to say. You see she is uncomfortable, so you try to steer the conversation a different way.

„So… This pizzeria – It's named Giovanni's, but i heard you call the owner a different name?“

„Oh yes, uncle Tigran gave this establishment italian sounding name as marketing trick. He is great, though, one of the best pizza chefs around. He says he spent five years in Naples learning about local cuisine, actually. I understand you already talked with him?“

„Oh yes, he seems like really nice, but no-nonsense kind of guy. Told me you're like a niece to him and warned me not to break your heart. Not that i intended to, anyway.“, you add with a smile.

„Yeah, uncle Tigran was always nice to me. He visited me in the hospital almost daily when i…“ once again, Jana's gaze slides into distance.

„You don't have to talk about it, i'm sorry if i reminded you in any way.“ You say hastily.

„Oh? No, don't apologize, you did nothing wrong, it's just… Everything reminds me, you know? Wherever i go, whatever i do, every single thing reminds me i no longer…“ she pauses and sighs, lifting her stumps to illustrate her point before continuing „…have arms. Waking up in the morning, i try to lift my blanket and these useless things just flap about helplessly. Reaching for things, trying to do any simple task, even steadying myself when i trip – everything i do i must remind myself i can't do it the normal way anymore. If it was just one i could deal with it, but like this? I feel so helpless sometimes. The first few weeks in the hospital i had to bother the nurses everytime my nose got itchy, not to mention i had to be showered by them, just standing there, leting them clean me off. Tt felt so dehumanising... I'm sorry i spilled all this on you, it's my problem and i should deal with it myself, you don't have to think about it.“ She averts her eyes, looking down into the table.

„Jana,“, you say, „If i wanted not to think about it i wouldn't be here with you – and that would make me quite a bad person, don't you think? I came because i liked you from the moment we started chatting, long before i ever saw you. If there is anything i can do to help you – even if it would be just to stand by your side to always be able to remind you how great person you are whenever should you doubt yourself – i want to be there and help you.“

With tears welling in her eyes, Jana lifts her head „Really? You would do that for me?“

„Of course i would. You are smart, funny and stunningly beautiful. If i can help it, i wish for you never to be sad again“, you reach over the table with a tissue to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

„Thank you,“ she says, suppressing tears, visibly moved. „I never thought i would hear anybody say that to me. Come on - let's order some food, i'm starving.“

As if waiting for his cue, the owner comes in with a big smile „So, what would you want, my dears? We have excellent Margherita Napoletana, but if you're not into traditional pizza, i might do a regular New York style. Most people prefer that, anyway – beats me why, though, there's nothing better than proper traditional italian pie.“

„I think i could go for your Napoletana, Jana told me you're one of the best pizza chefs around, mister… uhh…“ „Tigran Manukyan, at your service.“, he replies with maybe a little too deep bow, „I presume our little Jana here told you about my little trick already, so why should i hide it anymore? Anyway, what can i offer you, my darling?“ says mister Manukyan turning to Jana. „I'll take the Napoletana too, uncle Tigran. And might i ask you for a glass of that lemonade too? It looks so refreshing.“ „Comming right up, my dears“, says mister Manukyan and rushes off.

„So… Where were we?“ asks Jana. „Well,“ you say, „I just told you you're beautiful and i wish to be always there for you.“

„Oh…“ she pauses, but smiles, finally seeming to be at ease, „I mean… Thank you. I'm sorry, I've became quite bad at taking compliments lately – not that i ever was any good to begin with, but now… i mean, you know, with my…“ she says, wiggling her arm stumps.

„You don't have to explain yourself, i understand“, you calm her, „Jusk know you are beautiful to me and nothing can ever change that. In fact, you were beautiful to me long before i knew how you even look, when we were still just chatting.“

Mister Manukyan comes with Jana's glass of lemonade and a pitcher „I brought you two some more for refills – on the house of course. The pizzas will be done in few minutes.“ Almost unisono, you and Jana reply „Thank you, mister Manukyan /Thank you, uncle Tigran“ and with a smile, he leaves.

„Anyway,“ says Jana, „I know you're telling me that just to make me feel better. Why would somebody as cute as you consider someone ‚beautiful‘ just from an online chat?“ she says, leaning forward for the straw and taking a sip from her drink.

„Maybe because i found a great person to talk to and spend time with.“ You reply, looking directly into Jana's eyes. „Maybe i don't care about looks that much. Maybe i think beauty is not only based on somebody's looks. And maybe, or not as much maybe as quite undeniably surely, you are actually beautiful even if i would step so low as to judge you just by your looks. You have pretty face, beautiful hair and the most captivating emerald eyes i've ever seen. But even without that, you are above all the brave, smart girl i came to know and love – and nothing can change that.“

„Brave? How am i brave? I spent half a year hiding from world, almost never leaving my room unless i had to.“ Replied Jana.

„Yet you came here and invited me.“, you say, “You overcame your anxiety and reached out. That alone was braver than most people would ever hope to be. All i ask of you is to believe in yourself as i believe in you. You are the bravest girl in know and i love you for that.“

„I love you too“, she says, hint of tears in her eyes once again as she shifts closer to you with her arm stumps outstretched. Understanding the hint, you hug her, gently stroking her hair with your hand.

„Oh, young love, what a beautiful sight!“ says mister Manukyan as he comes in with your pizzas in each hand „Here is your food, my dears, Bari Akhorzhak to you both!“

„Uncle Tigran,“ says Jana, lifting her head from your shoulders, „this was the first time ever i heard you speaking Armenian in your pizzeria.“

„Well, i figured i might as well drop the act, my dear.“ said mister Manukyan with a smile. „Pizza is my passion and my living, but i'm no Italian and never will be. Maybe it's time for me to fly my true colors with pride. People come here for good food, not for fake Italian. Of course, a name change would be required, then, but i hope people would come nonetheless. After all ‚Uncle Tigran's‘ has a nice ring to it, no? And i might as well put some of my old family recipes on the menu. Next time you come, i'll make you the best Lahmajoun you ever had, i promise!“

„That would be really great, mister Manukyan“, you say with enthusiasm, „I'm looking forward to it.“

As mister Manukyan leaves with a big, warm smile, you and Jana sit to your pizzas. "Do you need any help?" you ask. "No." says Jana almost too quickly. "Well yes, probably, but i shouldn't. I need to do this on my own - i mean, there won't always be somebody around to help me, but i will be always armless, you know?" You notice her suddenly easing up, as if adressing her condition out loud, without euphemisms or hesitating helped her finally come to terms with it. "Would you mind helping me taking off my shoes, though?"

"Of course", you say as you kneel and gently lift her right foot in your hand, taking off her shoe and sock, then doing the same with her left foot. "Thank you. You're a real sweetheart" she says, lifting her feet up to the tabletop, awkwardly picking the fork with her left foot and knife with the right. As you sit on the opposite side of table, you can't take your eyes off her while she cuts a small piece of her pizza and using the fork in her left food brings it to her mouth with a great effort.

"Oooh!" she smiles with pleasure as she savors the food in her mouth, "I almost forgot how great uncle Tigran's pizzas are! You should eat too while it's hot." Taking a bite from your own pizza, you must agree - this is certainly the best pizza you ever had. As you both eat, you notice Jana's movements becoming ever so slightly more fluent and relaxed with each bite. you can't help but stop and look at her, smiling.

"What? Is something on my face?" she asks as she starts rubbing her nose with her right stump. "No, it's just... When you came you were all tense and apprehensive, but now you seem to ease up." "I just know i'm in a good company", she says, shrugging her shoulders, "I mean, yeah, i knew you are funny and kind from the first time we started chatting, but now, you made me feel... appreciated, normal. Like i matter. I... probably just needed to hear that, you know? Like... from somebody outside of my family." "I see," you say, "But how come you weren't so shy when we were chatting on the forum?"

"I don't know, i guess the anonymity played a part, you know?" she ponders, "Like - on the internet, nobody sees me. Nobody knows. There's no way to tell whether the person on the other side is beautiful, ugly, thin, fat or uses toes to write. That probably helped me there."

"Tell me about it," you say. "Sometimes i feel anxious even making a phonecall, let alone talking to strange people in person!" "You?" she smiles "No way! You seem so cool and confident. After all, you asked me out first, i would have never had the guts to do it myself without you."

"The same magic of the anonymous internet as in your case" you reply, "And if i somehow seem confident now, it's only because i feel like we known each other for ages. It's hard to describe, but i feel like we were meant to be together, you know?"

setting down the knife, she extends her right foor over the table towards you, gently stroking your face with her big toe. Smiling, you take her foot in your hands, planting a soft kiss on her ankle. She giggles "That tickles! But... it feels nice." Kising her foot once again, you let go of it, looking deep into her green eyes with a warm smile. "So, are you up for a little stroll after we finish our pizzas?", you ask her. "Gladly!", she replies as she puts another piece i her mouth. "Do you have any specific place in mind?" "Well," you say, "I was thinking of just going for a walk, but if you want, we might go to the gazebo on the cliff above the city and watch the sunset together?" "Oh, romantic!" she exclaims with excitement. "I like that."

When you finish your pizzas, mister Manukyan comes in to clean up, almost as if he was waiting for his cue. "Enjoyed your food, my dears?" he asks, "Everything was up to your liking? "Of yourse, uncle Tigran," responds Jana with a smile, "I always loved your cooking."

As you leave Jana in the back to pay for the food, mister Manukyan says:

"Thank you for everything, kid. Jana really needed someone to just be there for her. She used to visit me every week, but since her accident she just moved back to her parent's house and stoped going out. I knew what she was going through, but i had no idea how to help. Turns out, all she really needed was for someone outside of her family to just treat her with love and respect and you did just that. I won't lie to you - i doubt if stuff would be just *poof* and everything is okay now, people just don't work like that and i am sure there is still a lot ahead of Jana before she's back to the cheerful self i remember from before her accident, but i feel like you really helped her make a big progress today. Once again, thank you for that."

"It was my pleasure, mister Manukyan." you replied, "She is great girl and i fell for her ever since we started chatting." "I'm glad to hear that. And please, you can call me Tigran", he says with a smile, "Or Uncle Tigran, whole town will know me like that anyway soon, at least i hope."

After shaking hands with mister Manukyan, you return to Jana, who is almost prepared to leave. As you help her tie her shoes loose enough so she can slip them on and off at will, you go fetch her coat.

"No, you can leave that here,", she says, "i'll talk with uncle Tigran and ask him to hide it somewhere so i can pick it up later."

"Are you sure? Your arms are in there, don't you want to put them on?"

"Not really. As i said, they are heavy and uncomfortable. Also, they are purely cosmetic, so aside from keeping people from staring, they are pretty much useless.", she said. "And if that means people will stare, then so be it. I need to get used to showing in public and i thought why not now, when i have you by my side?" "As you wish," you reply. "Shall we go, then?"

"Okay. I hope you don't mind being seen in public with a disabled girl"

"Being seen with beautiful smart girl i love? Why shuld i mind?"

A little afterword is due.

This story, while obviously coming from place of my attraction to women with, let's say, non-standard physique, in this particular case bilateral arm amputees, is a departure from my usual style. My usual character background snippets revolve around happier circumstances - my characters usualy lose their limbs voluntarily, non-permanently or in some obscure magic way, which, while it can't be assured to be temporary, has the peculiar side effect of making them weirdly okay with the changes.

This is not the case. In reality, a limb loss is a powerful traumatic experience to vast majority of people. Overcoming such trauma might take weeks, months, years even, and some people may never recover mentally. I felt like this point was worth mentioning and keeping in mind.

As for overall themes of this story, the main themes are hope, acceptance and dealing with adversity. In that sense, Jana's condition is a stand-in for number of problems which might cause a person to lose their sense of self-worth and shut themselves off from the world. If you are suffering from any condition causing you to feel that way, remember this: You Matter. You are loved. And while in real life, recovery will certainly not come as quickly as for Jana in my story, the point illustrated still stands: Some battles are not meant to be fought alone. Sometimes all you need is to find someone who will help you carrying your burden. Remember, that leaning on your friends in hard times isn't weakness. On the contrary, knowing when to ask for help is major strength. And if you do not suffer from any such problems, then please, be mindful of those who do. Be kind, accepting and unconditionally loving as our unnamed protagonist. After all, the protagonist is reffered as You, because they are supposed to represent the best in every single one of us. Man, woman, trans or non-binary, if you're reading this, i hope you will always be as unconditionally accepting as the protagonist is to Jana.

Some elements of the setting sort of come from my own experience. The overall setting of my stories is this usual culturally neutral americano-european mishmash, made for easier accesibility for wider audience, but certain characters or places might carry something from my personal experience. As some of you might know, i am Czech, so i decided to write Jana as one too - even though this might not be really apparent from anything beside her name, that is her intended nationality. Whether you imagine her as local, thinking of this story's setting as somewhere in Czechia or as immigrant to a foreign country of your choice is up to you. Also, the character of Tigran Manukyan is losely based on my own experience: Where i'm from, a lot of pizzerias are actually owned by people from Armenia, Georgia or Turkey and a lot of their owners are very similar to "uncle Tigran" both in their appearance and in their cheerful, friendly way of greeting their customers. Uncle Tigran's character arc is also about acceptance: Accepting own cultural heritage, because every culture is worth preserving.

So, this is the end of my little PSA. Respect each other, be tolerant to one another and try to help those whose life dealt them the worse hand.

[the-fiction-witch]

We'll Find Her P4

Media - The Queens Gambit Character - Benny Watts Couple - Benny X Reader Reader - Y/n Watts Rating - Sad AF! Cute AF Word Count - 3098

I paused before the mirror, taking in the sight of my reflection. I carefully buttoned up my brand-new, crisp eggplant purple button-down shirt, running my fingers over the smooth fabric. The pants of my grey suit hung neatly, freshly ironed by my beautiful wife. I smoothed down my hair one last time, making sure every strand was in place, wanting to look my best for the day ahead.

"My, my someone's looking devilishly handsome," Y/n cooed as she gracefully emerged from the bathroom, I couldn't help but admire her exquisite outfit. She was wearing a snug, deep purple dress that accentuated her figure perfectly. Her vibrant Y/H/C hair was beautifully styled in vintage curls, framing her face like a work of art. To complete her look, she wore a pair of sophisticated grey heels that added an extra touch of elegance, along with a matching grey belt and a dainty grey headband, tying the whole ensemble together with effortless style. "You know about some cute stenographer you're hoping to see Benny?"

I smirked seeing her so stunning, "No, just wanted to look nice and presentable, what about you? Are you planning on flirting with the judge? Or are you just trying to rush things and give every man in there a heart attack?" I smirked wrapping my arms around her,

"No, I just wanted to make sure I matched up with my handsome husband,"

"I love you so much," I cooed,

"I love you too Benny," She smiled,

We shared a kiss and I cuddled up with her as we stood in the full-length mirror, "Usual I am very anti-shopping trips." I began,

"Ohh I know,"

"Yeah, yeah, I am usually very anti-five-hour shopping trips that cost us this much money..."

"But?" she smiled wickedly,

"But... I must admit. We look fucking Sexy."

"Not fair test, you're always sexy,"

"Ohh am I?" I smirked pulling her closer, "We'll you sure would know my sexy little wifey." I cooed kissing all over her neck as she applied a matching purple lipstick, "This colour does suit us,"

"It really does, I may be changing wardrobes,"

"Ohh? My god, it's only taken twenty-six years of knowing you and now you decided it's time to ditch the chess monochrome?"

"I never found a colour that suits me this well," I smirked checking myself out a lot, and Her of course. "yowl" I growled,

"Benny, did you legit just cat growl yourself?" She glared,

"...And you,"

"Come on, we need to get going." She laughed trying to leave but I stopped her, "Yes?"

"Thank you for picking the clothes out, everyone looks really nice and it really suits us all."

"I did my best," She chuckled grabbing my trench coat from the bed for me to slip on, "Very Watts,"

"Humm..." I nodded, "Purple for Violet, Grey for sterling, and black and white... for you and me," I cooed giving her a soft kiss, "I don't know what I'd do without you,"

"I don't either Benny," She cooed,

"And... extra plus, mostly purple for violet today. And no matter what stain you stop on purple it all looks black. Which will be very handy... for water... coffee... red liquids of any kind, you know whatever we encounter today,"

"Benny," She warns,

"You're rule was don't get arrested."

"And I stand by that, Don't get arrested, and if you get a punch or a kick in?"

"One for you too." I nodded,

"That's why I married you," She smiled kissing my cheek before she went to fetch Sterling,

I made my way downstairs and found Violet anxiously fixing her hair. She looked lovely in her sweet little purple dress, which had a flowing teenage style but was similar to Y/n's. I walked over to her and gently helped her place the flower headband in her hair, giving her a tender kiss on the cheek. "You look beautiful sweetheart,"

"Maybe too beau-"

"Anyone dare to tell my daughter she's too beautiful I will drop-kick his ass."

She laughed,

"You ready?"

"Yeah," she nodded, "You think they'll let me punch him after?"

"Ohh I do hope so, if not... I do have enough cash to bribe a correction officer." I joked,

"Look who's all dressed up for his big sister's revenge day," Y/n cooed as she brought Sterling in his little suit,

"Court date Mom," Violet smiled,

"same thing," I chuckled, "Look at you! So handsome, all the ladies will be swooning," I smiled cuddling Sterling,

"Everyone ready?"

"Yeah. Let's do this thing." Violet nodded setting the pace as she headed to the car,

"Loving the confidence Sweetheart." I chuckled following her,

The atmosphere in the large wood-lined courtroom was tense, with a significant number of people filling the hall, reflecting the widespread interest in the story of her disappearance. The impending media coverage was expected to be substantial, as evidenced by the presence of journalists from various outlets. Amidst this, the chess review reporter stood out, appearing somewhat out of place among the seasoned journalists. Additionally, her friends from school, local business owners, and other worried parents were also present, underscoring the community's deep concern. Overall, it was a respectable turnout, highlighting the widespread impact of the situation. We sat together as a family, Myself closest to the stand, of course, as there was no way in hell anyone was coming near my daughter without getting through to me first. Violet to my side, Y/n on the end with Sterling in his pram close to the wall, I had wanted to put Violet there but she wanted to be in the middle made her feel more confident than the corner which I understand.

Soon enough, it all began.

First was a jury filled the rows of people of all types which made me feel a little better. Then officers and legal people only one woman which I found interesting for a brief moment and as it happened she was on our side, in fact... they all seemed to be. Then the Judge in his professional clothes, we all stood as he arrived, he seemed a bitter old man who'd rather be playing dominoes as he took the chair.

And at last, in he came.

He was a tall man, not thin but not large either, with pinky pale skin, and uninteresting brown hair, blue eyes, wearing prison clothes and with two items, A bible and a cross necklace. He came to the box for him and smiled around the courtroom to all those who looked at him. We met eyes and he looked through me to see Violet, but I didn't let his gaze escape mine I made him meet my eyes again and as if we shared a thousand words in those brief seconds he looked away in defeat.

"Order, Case 17.14.05.85. Accused Jacob Abraham Whitemore. Stand accused of Kidnapping, Rape of a Minor, Abuse of a Minor, Sexual Abuse of a Minor, and least of all counterfeit Tabacco products. You stand trial before a jury of your peers and the public at large here inside Brooklynn East Court House this twentieth of May." The judge explained, "Where is your legal council, Mr Whitemore?"

"I- I have chosen to represent myself, I know no word more powerful than the lord and I know he will use me as a mouthpiece to speak the truth of this matter. They must be made to listen..."

Oh my god, I already wanna hit him over the head with a chair,

"Very well, Mr Whitemore how do you plead to the crimes of which you are accused?"

"Not guilty." He said,

Ohhh now I am gonna hit him,

Violet took my hand knowing this would be an ordeal for her so I squeezed it back hoping to comfort her.

"Very well, Miss Peters you have the floor."

"Thank you, Judge," She said getting up from her seat and pacing back and forth as she spoke, "I have no plan on proving you guilty Mr Whitemore, Rather I plan to bear your crimes to the jury and the public themselves so they may see the horror's you have committed. I believe truly in your mind you are innocent, but... we are not in your mind Mr Whitemore," She explained, "In simple facts, this man Kidnapped a fifteen-year-old girl and held her hostage while he committed horrific acts against her for two whole years of her life, only being stopped when police came to investigate his local store over reports of the selling and distribution of fake tobacco products,"

Shock went across the courtroom and I held Violet tight,

"The rest of my time I shall be letting you all see and understand the depravity of what happened in those two years," She nodded, "Any of those who wish to leave now, I would recommend it. I wish I could never know too."

"Proceed, prosecutor," The judge nodded,

"Mr Whitemore, can you tell me about your father? Mr James Whitemore?"

"My father was a priest for the Baptist church on Potter's Road," He nodded,

"I see, I see, and his father? Mr John Whitemore?"

"The same Madam,"

"And his father? Mr Elijah Whitemore"

"The same,"

"I see, and correct me if I am wrong but you are not a priest? In any capacity?"

"No, I am not, but I have followed God's word-"

"Yes or no Mr Whitemore,"

"No."

"And is that becuase you were rejected from every bible college to which you ever applied?"

"...yes,"

"Yes and why was it you were rejected so much?"

"... When I was a young schoolboy, I would take my bible to school and I would spend every free moment preaching the word of god to the heavens I was forced to educate with, by the end of my first terms. I knew the devil had them hard. So I would force them to hear the word of god."

"By breaking their legs so they couldn't run away Mr Whitemore," she glared, "And this of course when on your permanent record and yet you still proceeded to do so?"

"They must be made to listen..." I noticed that was the second time he had said that, and both times it made Violet's hand feel cold,

"This continued until beyond the education sector," She said, "No college would allow your entrance, But... I give you credit, You took initiative and began your own business." She said clicking the first slide a photo of the corner shop, "Tell me about it?"

"My small store is designed to cater to the everyday needs of the community. We stock essentials such as milk, bread, and paper products so that our customers can conveniently access these items without having to make the trip to the market." He nodded, "I love my store so much,"

I grimaced to think of the money we had spent in their over the years,

"And you ran this store for how many years?"

"Six Madam,"

"Six years, very impressive." She nodded, "What.. lead you to open such a store with no training, no family background, and only a rental lease?"

"I take all word from him,"

"Him Mr Whitemore?"

"God above." He nodded, "He sends me all, he has such plans for me, for all of us. They must be made to listen to the plans,"

There it was again,

"I see. Officer Ducan? you have been a patrol officer for six years correct?"

"Six years to the day. and it's been an honour." The officer nodded,

"Have you ever known of any issues from Mr Whitemore's store?"

"No, no reports, nothing, not even a brick through the window or a stolen candy bar,"

"Thank you, Now... Note Exhibit A on the front of the store sign reading 'One school child at a time' Would you like to tell us about that Mr Whitemore?"

"Well, it's only a small store..."

"Other stores your size don't hold this rule? Is there an issue with school children?"

"No no, of course not lambs of the lord unspoilt,"

"Then why the sign?"

"I like to serve one customer at a time it makes things simple,"

"Why the sign Mr Whitemore?"

"... I like to serve one customer at a time, so any messages the good lord has for them I can hear clearly, like now... so many in this room so much to say I don't know what's for whom."

"So you admit this sign is purposefully for isolating children?"

"...I... yes."

Gasps ran out,

"Thank you, I wish to turn your attention now back to the date in question, May 14th 1985. Do you have anything to say in your defence, Mr Whitemore?"

"They must be made to listen..."

"Noted." She nodded, "I'd like to call the victim, Miss Violet Watts to the stand please if she feels strong enough to tell her story?" She asked turning to Violet,

The room went quiet and I saw him stare at her,

I squeezed her hand as did Y/n but she got up adjusted her dress and walked with her head held high, Y/n came to her seat so we could hold hands and try not to panic.

I saw as she walked past his box he spoke a hushed not a soul heard but I saw and I read the words on his lips 'Be a good girl' I wanted to speak up but I didn't want to frighten Violet as she took her seat.

"Hello," She bravely smiled into the mic a little too low for her,

"Thank you for being here today Miss Watts, This can't be easy and even just being here is more than most would ever be able to do." She nodded, "Please State your name, honey,"

"Miss Violet Alekhine Watts," She said,

"A very lovely name," The Judge nodded, "Interesting Middle name?"

"My- My dad really likes chess."

Everyone suddenly looked at me, so I waved,

"... Apologise for the momentary derail of this but I must ask the name of the baby I am too curious,"

"Sterling Pirc Watts," Y/n smiled,

"Adorable," The Judge nodded, "Proceed,"

"Thank you, Judge, Let the records note the adorable baby."

"Noted!" The dictator Nodded,

"Now, Violet. Tell us a little bit about yourself."

"Well... My dad is US chess champion, my Mom was a reporter for chess review back when they first met. They got married, bought our little house, and had me. They're the best parents I could ask for really they are, Dad and I play chess by the fire, Mom and I bake together, she makes the best brownies, and whenever a chess tournament falls on a school holiday or weekend we all go as a family see the cities, and every day rain or shine one of them takes me and picks me up from school even though it's only a few minutes walk,"

Awww I got a little teary hearing her talk about us like that, I squeezed Y/n's hand tight as we both got a little emotional hearing her talking like that,

"Lovely, And you think even as a teenager you have a good relationship with your family?"

"I have the best relationship with them, they always tell me they love me, always look out for me, support me no matter what,"

"Supportive of what may I ask?"

"... I came out... as liking just girls when I was thirteen. I just always knew. And Mom and Dad didn't argue, didn't debate, didn't tell me I just needed to get older or that my mind would change without so much as a raised voice they accepted me, for who I am. No questions asked,"

I saw his face full of rage at her words, and things began to make more sense to me.

"Now Violet, On this faithful day May 14th 1985, How did your day go?"

"Well... I got out of bed, showered, had breakfast, and before we left I asked my dad if I could walk home on my own today, I was 15 and wanted to be a little more independent, plus I wanted to walk with friends maybe get some snacks... maybe see a cute girl," she explained "But we made a deal, he'd drive me to school as usual, but I could walk home. So long as I called from the phone box outside the school before I left and came straight home. And everything went fine normal school day. I was excited to walk home on my own for once, I made plans to walk home with some friends who live nearby, the last teacher was being a dick and held everyone back at the end of the day cause he was missing a pair of scissors, turns out they where on his desk, So I got my stuff from my locker and went outside the gates to the little phone box where I called mom, told her why I was late out but I was on my way. I met my friends and we started the walk home, We went to the little shop just on the corner, to sneakily get some snacks... even if dad told me not to,"

"Umm, and you never made it home that day did you, Violet?"

"No. I didn't."

"The store you stopped at. Was Whitemore Corner Store?"

"Yes."

"And you observed his one school child at a time sign seen in exhibit A?"

"We did, we went one at a time, I was last since I lived the closest so I was going to grab my stuff and head straight home. I went to the back got my snacks and went to the counter."

"Who was at the counter?"

"No one, I waited, I called out but nothing so I left the correct change on the counter and went to leave."

"But then what happened Violet?"

"The door was locked," She nodded, "And... I suddenly felt a hard crack on the back of my head,"

"Exhibit B, a bathroom key wooden block roughly 2 x 3, bloody. With DNA matching Miss Watts." She said showing the next side,

Ohh my god I am gonna kill him...

Y/n held my hand keeping me grounded frankly her hand and all these witnesses were all that was stopping me from climbing over and pummeling him into the ground.

"Mr Whitemore, Do you deny the school children obeyed your rules?"

"They obeyed them perfectly, and I gave each a message before they left,"

"And the message you gave Violet was a 2 X 3? Do you deny this?"

"I do not."

Gasps erupted,

"Was this a mistake? perhaps you assumed her stealing her gummy worms?"

"No. she paid. She couldn't be allowed to leave." He said,

"And why not Mr Whitemore?"

"They must be made to listen..."

"And who is they, Mr Whitemore? Miss Watts?"

"She's one of them."

"One of whom?"

"She's a Devil girl!" he yelled getting up from his chair,

Violet jumped back,

Immediately I got up ready to fight him if I needed to,

"Order! Order in the court!" The Judge Demanded, "Sit down Mr Whitemore. And You too Mr Watts."

I nodded and took my seat taking Y/n's hand tightly as he too took his seat again,

"You do not deny you hit Miss Watts over the head with a 2 x 3 and took her down to your basement on the 14th of May 1985?"

"... I do not deny this. And I would do it again." He gritted, 

[scarydeadlavender]

꧁༺ 𝓗𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 𝓫𝓲𝓻𝓽𝓱𝓭𝓪𝔂 ༻꧂

demande of @thedogisontopofthecarmom :

okay I was wondering if you could do one where it Daniels birthday and because of his sister taking care of him he’s never had a really grand party with a lot of presents and food so the reader and his friends decided to throw him a surprise party so threw out the day they had to act like they forgot which led to Daniel being sad the whole day but when he gets back to the conman room the whole day started to make scenes to him

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When his alarm went once the noise finally stopped or at least, that's what he

It took him a couple of minutes to decide to leave the comforting warmth. His feet touched the cold floor of the dimly lit dormitory, and

With that done, he moved towards the large mirror next to his wardrobe, adjusting his house-colored tie with a bit of annoyance as it refused to cooperate. After that, he put on his black cape, its inner lining also matching his house's color. On his badge, there were threads that glowed, and stains from potions were visible, especially on the sleeves, making his cape more personal and unique.

He looked at himself in the mirror, attempting to tame his unruly hair, but eventually gave up, just blowing on the strand that fell over his right eye and rolling his eyes at the situation.

But then his gaze landed on the small calendar pinned to a corkboard where a few personal photos and pictures of his friends were hung. There were a lot of notes, and his schedule was posted as well. His eyes scanned each square one by one until he fixated on the date November 22, circled hastily in red. A small note was written beside it.

His eyes widened as he read what was written: "My birthday." A smile spread across his lips. Truth be told, he wondered how he could have forgotten his own birthday. Shame on him.

He chuckled a bit and then looked at his alarm clock, realizing he was running late. So, he dashed to the Great Hall with excitement, eager to see his friends. When he arrived at the entrance of the Great Hall, he grinned like a child in front of a candy store. He approached the table, his friends noticing him. He, who was usually cold, tense, and definitely not a morning person, well... that was somewhat surprising.

Robyn watched him sit down next to Tp, who was enjoying a pancake with some red fruits scattered on his plate.

Daniel: Hey everyone!

She looked at him, surprised by how lively he was in the morning. Usually, she was the energetic one, not him. In a way, their roles were reversed. Despite his thoughts that his friends would all wish him a happy birthday, none of them reacted, too busy with their breakfast. So, he tried to drop them a hint.

Daniel: Do you guys know what day it is?

Kevin: Sandwich Day!

Daniel: Huh?

The blond seemed excited as a flea, striking a dramatic pose in front of his friend, who didn't seem to know what Sandwich Day was.

Kevin: Every Thursday, I bring a peanut butter sandwich for Freddy the Niffler.

Daniel furrowed his brows, not quite understanding what he meant. Daniel: So... Freddy is a Niffler?

Kevin hummed joyfully, clasping his hands together before a slight frown appeared on his face. Kevin: But today we ran out of peanut butter, so I asked Robyn, "What should I bring him?" and she said, "A ham sandwich!" I can't possibly feed Freddy ham! Do you guys know what ham is?

Daniel grabbed a bowl and poured a small amount of cereal into the brown wooden bowl. He then poured milk while listening to his friend rambling, responding with a perplexed tone. Daniel: Meat?

Kevin: IT'S MEAT! If I gave Freddy meat, I'd be a horrible creature!! So, I'm late because I had to go to the kitchen to ask for peanut butter, because all we had was GROSS HAM!!

Kevin shot an angry look at Robyn, who just rolled her eyes. Daniel chuckled a bit and started eating his cereal. Daniel: Kevin, is it really that important?

Kevin looked down at the table, spearing his fork into a pancake before taking a bite, mumbling something under his breath, keeping his thoughts away from Robyn's hearing.

Tp: Oh, by the way, Daniel!

His eyes widened, hoping that she had remembered his birthday. But instead, Tp clasped her hands together in a praying motion, closing her eyes and beseeching Daniel. Tp: After classes, I REALLY need your help to revise for the Potions lesson. Please, help me.

Part of him was indeed glad to help Tp and spend time with her. However, another part of him was saddened that even his best friend had forgotten this important date. He forced a smile and lightly patted Tp's head. Daniel: Yeah, sure.

Tp: Oh my god, you're my savior!

Daniel: You can say that once you get a good grade.

He refocused on his cereal, letting Tp playfully groan at what he just said. He played with the few remaining cereal pieces in his bowl, feeling a bit down, hoping that at least someone would wish him...

Unfortunately, no one did. Even if it had been from the Frey twins, he would have accepted. However, everyone seemed to be avoiding him, as evidenced by their strange behavior.

He studied as planned, but Lottie approached Tp and whispered something in her ear. Seeing Tp laugh, he felt a pang in his heart, realizing that his friends were having fun without him, forgetting his birthday. Perhaps they had something important to do?

Daniel reflected on his day. No, he was avoiding that. It all started during History of Magic class, where Tp usually sat next to him, but this time she sat next to Ivy. Then at the meal, everyone was talking together, and when he approached, they avoided the question, telling him, "Don't worry, it's not about you." Later, he was chatting with Lottie when she left for no apparent reason, leaving him alone in the cold corridors of Hogwarts. And now, Tp was acting as if he wasn't there. It frustrated him not to understand what was going on, but it made him sad not to share these moments with his friends and not to be able to celebrate his birthday with them. Should he eat a poor cupcake with overly sugary frosting and a lone candle? So, he got up, closed the book abruptly, gathered his things, and headed towards the exit of the potion room. But he halted at the sound of Tp's voice.

Tp: Daniel, where are you going? Daniel: I think you have other things to do, Tp.

He could hear Tp asking him to wait, but instead, he continued walking through the corridors of Hogwarts. He wanted to be alone. He felt tears stinging his eyes, and he could also hear his friend's footsteps trailing behind him, persistently asking him to stop.

So when he felt the cold hitting his face, he stopped, clenching his fists, listening to his friend inquire about what was going on. He couldn't contain the sadness he'd been feeling since morning any longer. He turned around abruptly, fixing his gaze on his friend.

Daniel: You want to know what's wrong? Well, I'll tell you! I'm upset that my friends forgot my birthday!

He wiped away tears that were flowing aggressively, while Tp looked at him, allowing him to release the overflow of emotions. He ran his hands through his hair.

Daniel: I... I never had a big birthday when my sister took care of me... so... I wasn't asking for anything other than a simple "happy birthday." Just that! And... it would have made my day really great!

He wanted to stop the tears that were flowing freely down his cold cheeks due to the temperature, but to his surprise, he couldn't. Seeing the situation, Tp didn't know what to say, so she gently enveloped him in a hug, wanting to comfort him.

With his auburn-haired head still crying, apologizing for crying, Tp felt guilty. Not guilty for forgetting his birthday, as she remembered that date and had even been counting the days, hours, and minutes left until that special day. She felt guilty for putting her friend in this state! She couldn't hold back any longer from explaining why she hadn't said anything. So, with a simple gesture, gently taking one of his hands, she guided him, whispering:

"Daniels, come with me."

He didn't understand why he had to follow her. After all, he just wanted to be alone for now. But a small voice told him to listen to the girl. He didn't really notice the moment they arrived at their house's common room, or when Tp uttered the password. But what surprised him most was the common room itself, which was astonishingly dim. He even had to rub his eyes to try to see what was happening.

Daniel: Tp, what's going on here...

Before Tp could reply, the lights came back on, and all his friends were present, wearing birthday hats on their heads. They all shouted in unison:

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DANIEL!"

He was genuinely surprised, and this time, tears of joy streamed down his cheeks. The common room was adorned with colorful garlands, and numerous balloons of every hue adorned the floor. A large table displayed multiple cakes, each with different colors and flavors, and a small pile of presents was right beside it.

Tp smiled at him sadly, her friends not understanding why he was crying as they approached him.

Tp: I'm sorry you thought we had forgotten your birthday...

Lottie: Maaaan, did you really think we forgot your birthday?

Kevin: We've been preparing this for 2 weeks! How could we have forgotten!

Daniel sniffled before smiling.

Daniel: Thank you, friends, thank you for this party... I... I'm sorry for thinking that! All his friends laughed.

Tp: We know you've never really had a birthday, so... we wanted to give you this surprise!

Ivy: Group hug?

Daniel: N-no, no group hug.

Ivy: Come on, just this once!

Daniel chuckled a bit before gesturing for his friends to come in for the hug. After a few seconds, Robyn hopped up and down, clapping her hands.

Robbyn: Now, the cake! Everyone laughed, leading Daniel to a cake in the colors of his house, with several candles placed on it. And for the first time, a group of people he cared about sang the famous "Happy Birthday" song to him. He took a deep breath and blew out the candles, where their flames danced.

No doubt, this birthday filled with laughter, joy, food, and gifts will be etched in his memory...

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number of words: 2010

oh my god i feel like it went bad TwT , i hope you like it!

[w2soneshots]

We’re done -Miniminter

words: 0.7k+

warnings: cheating, angst with sad ending.

summary: you catch Simon cheating.

notes: this was requested on wattpad and I actually really enjoyed making it since it’s something I haven’t really done before! (Who doesn’t love some good old angst?💔)

I've been with Simon for almost two years. We got together after just a few dates and were super happy. Recently he's been really distant and been acting weird. When I asked him about it he told me that he was 'fine' and that I had nothing to worry about.

This morning I woke up to a message from him telling me that he had to go to a last minute side cast. I brushed it off and got out of bed. I got ready for the day and had some breakfast. Then I left the apartment and headed to the shops to get some food since our kitchen was practically empty.

When I got there I grabbed a basket and began walking through the isles, looking at the food. Just as I was grabbing some pasta I heard my name. Me and Simon are very private in our relationship and I don't have any public social media platforms so I knew it wasn't a fan. "Hey y/n! What are you doing here?" Freezy exclaimed. Freezy... it's just Cal, phew. "hey, long time no see!" I smiled "I'm just doing the food shop." "Ah ok. Where's Simon, I thought he had the day off?" He asked. "Oh, he said he had to go to a last minute side cast." I replied. His brows furrowed. "What?" I asked seriously. "Oh uh nothing." I raised my eyebrows "no. What is it?" He sighed "I um- it's just that- Harry told me they were filming the side cast on Thursday." He stated quietly. "But it's Monday." I said. "Well I could be wrong! Maybe they moved it to today?" He said quickly. "mhm" I mumbled.

I said a quick goodbye to Cal, grabbed the last things I needed to get, payed and made my way home. I unpacked the shopping then headed into the bedroom. I would never usually snoop around, search through anyone's phone or anything intrusive like that but I felt I had a big enough reason to, since he’s been acting so strange. I went into his section of our wardrobe and opened one of the many shoe boxes. My face dropped and my heart sank when I saw the small note hidden at the bottom.

just posting this because I lost my phone, oops! can't wait to see you, I miss you so much. Lana xx

Why on earth would anyone post something like this if you’re trying to hide a relationship? I thought. Then the realisation sunk in that I'd just caught him cheating... well what other explanation would there be.

I put the note back, packed my bags and waited till Simon got home. "Hey! I'm home!" He shouted through the apartment. "y/n?" He walked into the bedroom. I sat on the end of the bed with tear stained cheeks. "Where have you been?" I asked quietly. "What?" "Don't play dumb!" I stood form the bed. He looked startled "I- I-" he stumbled. My face twitched in anger "you fucking twat! You thought you'd never get caught! You basted! I hate you so fucking much!" I screamed as tears spilled from my eyes. "I'm sorry." He said dropping his head. "So you admit it. You cheated on me." He nodded. "Wow." Was all I said then I turned towards the bathroom, grabbed the suitcase I'd packed just 20 minutes ago and left without another word.

I called Freya in floods of tears as I drove through London, barely able to see the road. "Woah woah, what happened?" She asked quickly. "He- he cheated Frey, he actually cheated." I sobbed. "Oh my god," She whispered "are you in the car?" She asked. "Yea." I replied through sniffles. "Ok drive to my apartment, I'll see you in a bit. Be careful." She said before I could protest.

I arrived outside her and Josh's apartment approximately 10 minutes later. I knocked and the door swung open just seconds later. "Come here." She said with her arms out. I immediately fell into the hug. "It's going to be ok, I've got you." She tried to comfort me as I cried. "He doesn't deserve you."

Once I calmed down, I told her about the note. “It sounds like she doesn’t know you exist… maybe he didn’t tell her he had a girlfriend?” She said calmly. “What a dick.” I said.

[julieverne]

Jane puts herself in a box she labels as 'straight'.

She puts you in another little box labelled 'straight' as well.

The kind of boxes that don't stack nicely. The kind that don't fit on top of each other.

But you and Jane fit together so nicely.

--

"Man, this is great, isn't it?" Jane enthuses. You've bought Fenway tickets for the playoff. Jane is in full cosplay, but she sulks when you call it that, even when you explain it's exactly like dressing like a character from a show. Jane doesn't like to be labelled as a 'nerd'. "The only way this could get any better is if this were a date."

Jane looks over, sheepishly. "Of course, not a date with just us. Just, like. If I had a date. And you had a date. And they were both men. That kind of date."

"A double date?" you suggest. And Jane nods thankfully.

--

"I wish somebody would pick me up," Jane grumbles when Frost elegantly seduces a woman at The Dirty Robber. You immediately put your arms around her and lift her. She's not heavy, not like this, and you lean back to steady against her extra weight.

"Not like that, Maura, c'mon!" Jane doesn't struggle, though, and her cheeks are pink when you put her down. "You know, like I wish a man would pick me up."

"For sex," you say, nodding and completely understanding the intricacies of what Jane is saying now that she's explained it.

Jane tosses her head and rolls her eyes but all of her overdramatic over reactions don't mean much when weighed against the cute little blush on her cheeks.

--

"This would be perfect, if you were a man," Jane says. She's sprawled across your lap, and you're rubbing your fingers through her hair and over her back. The game is on the tv but she's too relaxed to do more than cheer when a goal is scored. "You'd be perfect, if you were a man."

"I think I'm fine as I am, and I don't want to tailor any of my dresses. So I won't undergo a sex change for you, Jane. Not even if that's the only way I can get you to date me. I like being a woman, and I like that you're a woman, and until you said that I was thinking about how perfect this was, here and now, with both of us being women."

Jane is completely still. Even her breathing has stopped. You can feel her heart beat pounding crazily through her rib cage from where your hand rests on her back.

"I don't - I can't date women." Jane's voice is small and sad and full of regrets. Jane breathes in and rolls over in your lap, trying to sit up and move away from you like you've burned down her little box with the label on it. Like it hadn't been drenched with gasoline and torn to tinder already.

"Not 'women'. Just me."

"You are, though."

"I'm a woman, yes. But I'm also the person you come home to every night. I'm the person you call every day. I'm the person you being food to when they're sick, and I'd bet dollars to glazed doughnuts that I'm the only person who's actually seen you cry. But I will not sacrifice my wardrobe for you, Jane. I won't be a man for you, because I've never wanted to be a man. Not until I met you and thought it was the only way I can be with you."

"I don't want you to be a man."

"But you want to find a man 'just like me'. You say this is perfect, but it's not because I'm not a man. I think I'm perfect as I am, apart from the part of me that wants to change for you because you can't admit what we are to each other." You're upset now, and so is she, but not the angry kind of hurt, just deeply sad on your part, and she's lost and confused.

"But I'm straight," Jane argues helplessly. "Aren't I? Aren't I supposed to feel this way about men?"

"Feel what way?" you ask, seeing a splinter in her armour. You prod and push at it.

She kisses you. She's still half-across your lap and she melts into your arms like a soft serve frozen yoghurt swirled but you're touching, you're touching her and her mouth is so soft and generous and braver than Jane is because she can't pull away, she's lost, and she's running her hands over you like she's found the holy grail and it's under your dress.

--

"That was perfect," Jane tells you much, much later. Her fingers trail over your bare skin in your big bed, and her lips linger on the bones of your shoulder, on your collarbone, on the freckles you try to cover up on your throat. "Because you're you, and I wouldn't want you any other way."

[thechatsmeouch]

Ladybug Blues

Chapter One - Her Last Words

Marinette Dupain-Cheng always had bad luck.

She could trip over a blade of grass, and jumble an entire sentence together. The one thing she always had plenty of luck in, was making friends. She adored her friends, loved them all like they were her own flesh and blood. Even back in grade nine, when Lila Rossi had vowed to make everyone hate her, she never faltered. The truth always comes out, she would tell herself. And that was enough. She could sit through her high pitched rants of being best friends with Ladybug, because Marinette knew the truth. But somehow, her friends would drift away. Waves in the hallway turned into rolling eyes and sneers. All she had left were Adrien, Alya and Nino. Her closest friends, no one could tear them apart!

Right?

**********

Marinette forced her eyes open, groaning as she pressed every button possible to turn off that godforsaken alarm clock. Pulling the covers off, she took a deep breath, and hopped down from the bed.

Rummaging through the closet, Marinette selected her outfit. Her style had changed since she was fourteen, she had thrown out her tacky blazer and pink jeans long ago, settling for a more casual look. Her signature pigtails were gone, and her hair was usually loose. Jeans and a hoodie would suffice for the day, just like any other. Perhaps it was growing up that had prompted Marinette to reshape her entire wardrobe, it had to be. It couldn't have had anything to do with the isolation she'd been experiencing in the past six months, only going out once in a blue moon when Alya and Nino weren't with everyone else who had opted not to invite her. No, that definitely wasn't it! Besides, it gave her more time to design, and draw, and bake!

Not that she'd designed anything since Rose cancelled her commission, or drawn anything since Nathanial suddenly didn't need help with his proportions anymore. She still baked, but that was her job. Nonetheless, Marinette didn't really need to go out and see her friends! She could stay home and watch the bakery while her parents went on a date, or— or do her homework! Yeah, she loved homework!

With a sigh, Marinette pulled on her shoes and opened up her purse for her beloved kwami to fly into. "Let's go, Tikki, Alya said she wanted to talk about something before class, so we have to be there early." She murmured sleepily, opening the trapdoor.

"What do you think she wants to talk about, Marinette?" Tikki chirped, getting comfortable in the soft purse Marinette had made for her.

The girl stepped down the ladder and shrugged. "I don't know, let's go find out.."

As soon as Marinette spotted Alya, her stomach churned. Her best friend gave her the same look everyone else had been giving her for the last six months. She knew what Alya wanted to talk about.

Marinette smiled politely and nodded through their conversation, ignoring the lump that had formed in her throat.

"...I'm sorry, Mari, I.. We just can't hang out anymore, it makes me look bad, y'know? Nobody really trusts you anymore.. You understand, right?" Alya grimaced.

At that moment, Marinette expected to be angry. The lump in her throat faded, and she was left with numbness. She just nodded her head and walked away, entering the school.

Marinette slumped against her locker and chuckled dryly. "I have no one, Tikki."

The kwami slowly hovered out of Marinette's purse and gave her a sad look. "You still have Adrien, don't you?" she whispered, nudging the girl's cheek.

Marinette smiled at that, not a big one, but enough that Tikki knew she'd considered it.

Heels clicked through the hallway, and Tikki disappeared into the lockers. In sauntered Lila Rossi, with a smirk on her face.

"Didn't I tell you I'd ruin your life, Marinette?" she sneered, coming closer to the girl. "I always get what I want. Maybe this time you won't forget it."

All of the rage that Marinette had shoved deep down inside of herself for half a year resurfaced, and Marinette snapped. She rammed Lila into the lockers, pressing her forearm hard against her throat. Three years of being Paris's superhero paid off in this moment; Marinette had only gotten stronger since becoming Ladybug.

She stared into Lila's wide eyes, her mouth agape in obvious surprise. The sound of Lila's body being slammed against the metal lockers must have gotten someone's attention, because the door to the locker room opened, and a small crowd of students filtered in.

"Let her go, Marinette," Adrien's voice cut through the whispering, his tone pleading. Marinette didn't move, her anger burning hotter than ever.

The crowd of students murmured, some clearly on Lila's side, some looking concerned for Marinette. But his voice rose above the rest, and everyone fell silent.

"I think you've made your point," Adrien said, his voice firm but not unkind. Marinette's body tensed as she slowly let go of Lila, who coughed and rubbed at her throat as she slid to the ground. "But you can't do this. It's not who you are, Marinette."

Marinette closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to calm herself. She could feel the weight of everyone's stares, and it was almost unbearable. "I'm sorry," Her voice was barely a whisper.

In an instant, she dashed out of the locker room, not caring about the stares or whispers. She had to get away. She knew she couldn't face Adrien, not now. So, she ran. She ran all the way to the park, where she collapsed on a bench and buried her face in her hands. Tears streamed down her face as she tried to make sense of everything that had happened.

"Tikki," Marinette sobbed, "What am I going to do?"

The kwami slowly floated out of her purse, hovering in front of her face. "You'll do what you've always done, Marinette. You'll be strong, and you'll face your problems head-on."

Marinette sniffled, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "But Lila... She'll tell everyone." The thought sent a shiver down her spine. "No, I-I can't do this, I can't keep living like this, Tikki!" She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.

The kwami floated closer, her expression gentle. "Oh, Marinette..."

The girl drew in a deep breath, and suddenly, she was overwhelmed with a sense of clarity. The rough sea of waves she'd been in for months calmed, and Marinette, for the first time, felt absolutely nothing.

"I know what I have to do." Marinette spoke, her voice soft as she slowly removed her earrings.

Tikki's eyes widened. "Marinette, wait, what are you talking about?"

She hovered in front of her chosen's face, trying to force eye contact.

Marinette just smiled. "Tikki, I renounce you."

"Marinette-!" Tikki screeched, but in an instant was sucked into the earrings, leaving Marinette completely alone.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, carefully tucking her miraculous into the pocket of her hoodie.

Marinette waited until lunchtime to go home, careful not to draw attention to herself from her parents. She stepped up the stairs to her room silently.

She placed a delicate kiss upon her earrings before setting them inside their box, hoping that Tikki could feel her love.

Her fingers brushed across her notebook, and she picked up her pen. Glittery and pink, as always. How ironic it was that she was about to write the worst possible thing with such a lovely color. The girl let out a breath before writing her last words.

Dear mom and dad, and... everyone I guess,

I'm sorry. Sorry that I couldn't bear the burdens of life anymore. I'm tired, and I just want to rest. I realize I no longer serve a purpose here on earth, in Paris... and I know that my leaving will hurt you. But please, forgive me. I love you all so much, and I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me one day.

She thought for a moment, then flipped to the next page.

Adrien,

I love you. I always have, ever since that first day we met, and you offered me your umbrella. I'm looking at it now, hanging in my room, and it makes me smile. I wish I could say something more, something to make it better, but I can't.

I hope you can forgive me, but I'll understand if you can't.

I love you, Adrien.

As she slipped the note to Adrien into her bookbag, tears welled in her eyes. She knew this would destroy her parents, but Marinette needed this. She needed to be gone. She left the note to her parents on her desk and opened her trapdoor.

Marinette hesitated before opening the front door, taking one last deep breath to steel herself. She knew what had to be done. She slipped out of the bakery door, glad that her parents were in the back. They were prepping for a large order for the following day.

Marinette hoped they would forgive her for not helping.

She walked down the street, her heart heavy, her steps slow. The sky was a perfect shade of blue, but she couldn't appreciate it. People passed her by, oblivious to the pain she was feeling. Marinette wondered if they could see it, if they could see the weight that she carried. She wondered if anyone would even notice if she were gone.

Stepping into the locker room once again, she slid Adrien's note into his locker. Hopefully he'd see it, he deserved a goodbye.

Marinette opened Alya's locker, smiling a bit as she remembered all the times she hid encouraging sticky notes and baked goods in her best friend's locker. This time, it was a box, and a sticky note that read: Guard them with your life, Scarabella.

She couldn't bring herself to look at the earrings anymore, so she closed the locker shut, pressing her forehead against the cool metal. The bell for lunch rang, and Marinette forced herself to walk away, wondering how everyone else would react to her absence. As she made her way through the hall, she saw Adrien standing by Nino. They seemed to be sharing some kind of joke, judging by the angelic smile on his face.

As if on cue, he turned to look at her, his smile suddenly falling. Adrien began to walk toward Marinette, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. "Marinette?" He mouthed, a hand reaching out to her.

Marinette ran into his outstretched hand, feeling the warmth of his touch as he pulled her close. "What's going on?" he asked, his voice low and concerned. She could feel his eyes darting over her face, searching for answers.

She wanted nothing more than to tell him everything, to make him understand why she had to do this. But she couldn't. She hugged him tightly and pulled away. Before he could say anything else, she placed a kiss on his cheek. "I'll miss you, Adrien," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

With that, she walked away, ignoring Adrien's calls to stop and wait. Her steps fell faster and faster until she had run all the way to the Seine.

She sat down on the concrete railing, watching the water flow past. It was peaceful here, a moment of solace amidst the chaos she will have created. Marinette wondered if her loved ones would ever find peace. Her parents would be crushed, her 'friends' would be hurt, and Adrien... She didn't even want to think about how he would feel.

A light breeze prompted Marinette to stand. She allowed the anxiety of what she was about to do course through her. It wouldn't change anything. Her back faced the water. She closed her eyes.

Marinette breathed in.

Then let herself fall.

The last things she felt was the shock of the cold water, and the burning of it filling her lungs.

Next

[doudouneverte]

What we didn't say

a/n: sorry I just needed to be sad...

*not my GIFs*

Pairing: (past)Natasha Romanoff x Female!reader; (mention) Yelena Belova x platonic!Reader

Summary: Natasha looses you and give up

Type: Angst (no happy ending)

Warning: implied cheating, ❗tw suicide ❗

word count: 566

----------

Dear Diary;

I know it's been a while since we talked together, but I think it's time. Recently, nothing seemed alright. You remember Yelena's best friend, Y/n? She and I used to date until last year. I know there are a lot of things we need to talk about, but not now.

So back to Y/n, she's...she changed a lot since the last time I told you about her. She became prettier, even if she already was; she still has this contagious laugh.

I know I'm the one who messed up, but it still hurts to see her with this new girl; her name is something like Wanda. If I could, I'd travel back and change everything, but I can't do that. Why is life not as easy as the book she reads?

Yesterday, she didn't acknowledge me (again). I tried to fix everything, but Yelena said that maybe we weren't supposed to stay with each other forever. I can't stop thinking about when everything was perfect, when she was mine, and when I woke up with a message from her asking me if I had a good night.

Now? I don't know. I think it's been three, or maybe four, well according to my phone, it's been one week since I left my bedroom. She seems to be everywhere. I still have one of her hoodies that she didn't want to take back, but now it no longer even has a little hint of her perfume.

In this room so familiar, where we had our best moment, our first time, our first argument, our first make-up, and our last sex, now it feels cold and strange without her. Mom told me about something we call the heartbroken disease...I don't know if it's real. I don't know if she experienced it even a little. I don't know; maybe I'm the one who is suffering from that now. I don't know; maybe it would justify why I feel numb and empty and why I can only think about her even after all this time.

Maybe it could explain why I couldn't say this. I feel like if I don't say it now, I will never have the chance again...I know you don't want to hear that, and you'd probably never trust that, but...I love you.

I love you, you who help me understand what true love is. You, who supported me for five years. You, who had to suffer from what I did. Yeah, I know it sounds ironic after I cheated on you, but I need you to know that I love YOU.

---

Natasha dropped the pen, carefully stood up, and walked to her wardrobe. She took a shoe box, opened it, and picked a picture of you two. She looked at it for a moment until some tears started to appear in the corner of her eyes. The woman carefully dropped the picture beside her and picked up a second object from the box.

On the other side of the door, her sister, Yelena, was walking to the kitchen before she heard a loud BANG. The young woman froze; she was not very familiar with that, but she knew this noise. She immediately ran to the origin of the sound before she stopped in front of her sister's bedroom. Even without opening the door, she knew. She just pulled out her phone and called 911.

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 5

Episode 27: Captain Mom (SMUT)

Season 5 Masterlist

*Strong start to the chapter, but I'd like to say that I hate this episode with a burning passion, and I'd like to have a word with whoever wrote this piece of utter—shall we continue?

To make this steaming pile of garbage slightly more tolerable, I decided to give myself a gift and write a lovely yet self-indulgent smut idea I've had in my filthy little head for quite a while now. It's not particularly explicit, but trust me, I have a long list, and most of them are so bad I'm saving them for a special chapter. Wink-wonk ;)

Please enjoy what I've written. I hated every word of this creepy, disturbing, weird, utterly confusing chapter (apart from the smut) :)

Ray was a tough guy. Strong, reliable, honest, lovable, gentle - he was all those things, or at least he was to (y/n). 

She could ramble for days on how perfect he was, from how he protected the city from whatever threat ran towards it to heading their operations in the Man Cave to caring for their growing family. 

Ever since Piper joined, his home had been busier, noisier and crazier than ever, and he was in charge of all of it. How many children did he have to worry about now? Four? Then, there was Schwoz, too, even though he was pretty low maintenance, and of course, he never stopped worrying about his sweet girl after vowing during his proposal that he always wanted her to be safe, happy and loved. 

The pressure never stopped; it was like he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, something (y/n) never forgot. He never let on, but it got to him sometimes - the stress of having thousands of people looking to him for guidance, not that Swellview's citizens or his family saw it. 

She did, though. 

(y/n) could spot the signs with pinpoint accuracy, especially after a few gruelling days of back-to-back missions. He got grouchy in the evenings, snapped at Henry for merely existing, barely ate dinner, and wriggled and writhed throughout the night like it wasn't his favourite spot in the world. 

Of course, she was by his side throughout it all, so when he got grouchy, her mood dipped. When he snapped at the kid, she apologised on his behalf. When he barely ate dinner, she picked at the pasta on her plate, which wasn't as tasty as it had been ten minutes previously. And if he wriggled and writhed through the night, you can be damn sure that she laid awake next to him, wondering what she could do to help him. 

"Ray..." she called out as he stomped down the corridor toward their bedroom, her following closely. That mission had been frustrating - anyone who used a paintball gun as a weapon was some sadist who wanted nothing but chaos to reign as he pelted the three heroes with his ammo. 

They were small, but goddamn, those balls hurt like hell. Ask Ray; he acted as a human shield so his sidekicks could get close enough to disarm the miscreant, but all those shots took their toll, and now, he was in a fouler mood than ever before. 

"Yeah, sweet girl?" he replied quietly, his tone clipped and tired like he just wanted to be left alone and was holding back from lashing out, but he could never do that to her. She only wanted to help, so he instead focused on stripping off his painted-splattered uniform with sharp, frustrated movements before tossing them into the laundry basket by the wardrobe. 

Definitely in a bad mood. 

(y/n) wasn't entirely sure how to deal with it. If he was sad, she knew what to do. Same with if he was scared, annoyed, or confused. They were easy enough to solve and soothe, but stress-induced frustration wasn't something she came across often because of how much he stamped it down. 

However, over the last few hours, she'd had a chance to mull things over, meaning she wasn't without a plan that she knew would tickle his fancy - a mutually beneficial plan. Now, if only he gave her enough time and room to set it in motion. 

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" Ray asked over his shoulder as he slumped onto their bed and began pulling at his bootlaces like they'd done something wrong. He couldn't take off his utility pants until they were off, so she admired his strong, muscled back and began disrobing, too, whilst he fiddled with the annoyingly tight weave. Once off, he threw the shoes into some godforsaken corner he didn't care about and promptly removed his blue pants, too, minding not to get paint everywhere as he did. 

"You're stressed. You act like you're fine, but you're not," she muttered as she came up behind him, kneeling on the bed in the bulletproof underlayers of her uniform. Her fingertips slid over his body, drawing shivers from the man when he felt her front press to his back and her lips land on the junction of his neck and shoulder. 

"Come on, doofus. Talk to me..."

"S'nothing..." the words weren't much more than air passing through his teeth as she let her arms dangle past his chest, meaning her hands were free to roam his pecs and the very top of his washboard abs as he leaned into her embrace and sighed. He would never leave if he could stay in her arms, where his worries flew away. To be just a man who loved and was loved, not the hero who bounced back at the snap of someone's fingers whether he wanted to or not. 

"If it bothers you, and I know it does, then it's not nothing. Tell me, Raymond..." It sounded stern, but the accompanying kiss on his cheek and how she nuzzled her face into his neck said otherwise. At that moment, she had the power to turn him into just a loved man, who loved her in turn, and she wanted his weakness after seeing too much of his strength. 

"It's just...think I need a vacation, sweet girl. Somewhere we can get away from all this bullshit...just you and me," he muttered and lolled his head back to rest on her shoulder as she kissed up his neck, taking reference from how he did it whenever life got too much for her. 

That's what this was; he did it for her, and now she'd do it for him - whatever it was or whatever he needed her to do. 

"But... I promised to give you the happiest day of your life, darlin', and I intend to keep that promise."

"I don't care what our wedding's like, doofus. I just want you safe, happy and loved as you promised..." (y/n) whispered as her hand drifted up to hold his jaw and turn his face to her gently. Ray groaned lowly as she led a delicate kiss, and he wished more than anything to feel her skin against his, not the silky smooth material of her longsleeved undershirt.

"That promise was for you, pretty girl," he gave a half-hearted chuckle as he remembered that moment when he got down on one knee and promised to always take care of her. Her. No one else. 

No one else could ever be his wife if he recalled those sentimental words correctly, which reminded him; they needed to book another meeting with that florist about the flowers for the ceremony. And he noted that she hadn't eaten lunch yet, so he probably needed to swing by that takeout place down the road, and pick up more straw for Colin's hutch, and--

"We're a team, me and you. I want to care for you too, sweetheart," she confessed into his ear and, in a tactile move, pulled his earlobe between her teeth as her hot breath rolled down his neck. 

Ray immediately felt the air shift around them and his cock twitched when she adjusted her position behind him, allowing her arm more freedom to roam his bare chest. It was strange; his muscles physically couldn't ache, thanks to his indestructibility, but even so, he was tired - wearied in spirits like his soul had had enough of everything piling up on him. But for her, his sweet fiancée, he could stamp it down again if she wanted her strong, dependable hero to fill her aching channel. 

"Don't worry. Captain Man will be ooooo-kay if he gets to have you as his wife." Despite the sudden burning in his core, he breathed out the small joke and rejoyced when he felt her smile against his neck, happy to know he still had the knack. 

It was an admirable attempt to throw her off, to get her to back down and assume their usual routine of him taking dominance and fucking the living daylights out of her, but as her fingers brushed over his right nipple, she made her move. 

"You don't fool me, doof. Strip and lay down on the bed."

"Excuse me?" Ray paused, and it was comical how quickly his head whipped around to show her how perplexed he was. 

He watched with furrowed eyebrows as his sweet girl untangled herself from him, shuffled off the mattress and began peeling her longsleeved shirt from her torso. His dark eyes drank in every inch of her bare skin and cursed the cotton bra hiding her perfect tits from his hungry gaze. 

Stood before him in nothing but her underwear, she smirked at his shocked face and didn't miss how he stared at several spots on her body - her breasts, soft tummy, hips, thighs and his favourite place between them. She knew he wanted her, but she knew what that led to; him making the calls, wanting her to rely on him doing all the work. And that's not what this was about. 

"Let me take care of you for once, Ray. So, come on. Strip, lay face down on the bed and relax. That's an order."

Following her gentle instruction, Ray echoed her movements and removed the final pieces of clothing from his body - the pesky mask glued to his face and the boxer briefs that clung to his thick thighs, more so as his arousal became more apparent. 

He didn't like the idea of surrendering himself, not because he hated the idea of being her submissive, but because he was the carer. He took control in the bedroom and relieved her of any stresses, burdens or problems as he gave her nothing but pleasure, even when she was riding his cock like a fucking queen. 

It was his instinct. Snuggling into the sheets with his eyes closed and her movements unknown was not. 

"I don't know about this, (y/n)..." he mumbled into the comforter as he rested his head on his arms and tried to relax. His nude body was stretched out on the bed, reaching from the headboard to the foot in what his lover described as a chiselled work of art, and he huffed as his eyes fluttered shut because this was anything but relaxing. 

Unable to see, his other senses perked up, painting a scene in his head. He could hear his girl hovering around the room and the unmistakable sound of her bra and panties being removed in what had to be the most unfair striptease ever. He could picture her body perfectly, having had more than enough chances to emblazon it on his brain, but he wasn't supposed to get up and look. 

He was "relaxing". 

Then, he heard her walking around the room, moving from what he knew to be her dresser on the back wall to the bedside on the opposite side of the bed to him - her side of the bed. The rumble of the drawer caught his attention because, to be honest, he didn't know what she kept in there. Lip balm, a hairbrush, her favourite pieces of jewellery, who knows? That was her private drawer, and that was the bottom line. He didn't cross it. Never. Not once. Much like she didn't touch his. 

"You trust me, right?"

"More than anyone else, darlin'..."

"Then, lie there and think of your favourite thing in the world." He could hear the smile in her voice as she returned to his side, the bed dipping next to his shoulders as she clambered across her half. In her hands was an item from the drawer Ray knew she had opened, and it wasn't anything she'd ever paid much attention to. 

"That would be you, my sweet girl," Ray whispered, slowly getting used to lying there and letting her do what he liked. Thank god his eyes were closed, or he would've seen (y/n)'s deep blush, which he always loved to tease her about, so she quickly distracted herself by flicking open the cap of a bottle of sweetly scented oil - safe for use on all parts of the body. 

It came from a generic bath set she'd received from an unimaginative relative who didn't know her well enough to buy her something more meaningful, but it was serving an excellent purpose now as she watched the golden liquid swirl inside the fancy packaging. 

The potent smell of lavender wafted throughout the room as she shuffled a little more on the bed, taking extra care not to trample her beloved doofus as she swung a leg over his body and settled herself over his lower back. Ray tensed underneath her, the move taking him by surprise when he felt one warm hand on his back, and he had to admit, he didn't picture his precious girl straddling him. 

"What are--what's going--fuck, that's cold!" He gasped when she squeezed the bottle, allowing the oil to cascade onto his back and pool in the crevice of his shoulder blades, where it trickled across his skin. 

"Sorry, doof. It'll warm up soon," (y/n) giggled when he jerked underneath her, and in hindsight, she should've warmed it up a bit beforehand. But he soon quietened when her hands glided across his back, dipping into the oil and spreading it across his skin, she could give him a massage worthy of the hero of Swellview. 

Her thumbs got to work almost immediately, rubbing slowly and sensually at the taut muscles beneath the surface. Those shoulders that carried the world were the worst, tense and strained under her fingertips as Ray released the first groan of many. 

They looked so broad from that angle before they dipped into the trim waist between her legs, and she smiled softly to herself as she massaged his neck - even that felt tight - seeing how his eyelashes fluttered from her pleasured touches. His mouth fell open in an O-shape, his tension fleeing as she dragged out every second, moving across the edges of his shoulders and down to his biceps. 

She'd always wanted an excuse to obsess over them, fondle them without stopping and not have anyone judge her. In public, she could get away with the occasional squeeze or cling to one if he wore a hot, tight shirt, but now, he was all hers. Perfect. 

Pouring an extra drizzle of oil into her palm, she kneaded his upper arm, feeling herself grow wetter at their size - so big she couldn't get her fingers to meet across their circumference. But this wasn't about her. 

So what if the intensity made her muscles ache? This needed to be dragged out until words couldn't form on his tongue and every inch of him ached for her, so she kept going, pulling and squishing his arm, switching with the other one intermittently. She knew they took a beating every time he used the gym - every day - and she knew he rarely gave them any time to rest, so she spent a few extra minutes on them until his flesh was pliant and dough-like. 

"Fuck...so good at this. S-so good, sweet girl," he groaned underneath her as she spread the remaining oil on her hands down his forearms. They were as bulky as the rest of him, with thick tendons and veins stretching down into his hands, and she could picture every time they'd been posted next to her head as he fucked her sweet cunt and braced his lithe body over hers. It was unconventional, but she squeezed them anyway before moving on. 

Then, she took his hand, moving his arm slightly bent. Rolling each joint of each giant finger, she sighed silently at the tight palm muscles, knowing they were only so tight from years of hitting a punching bag, some jerk's face or hell, even a brick wall. 

They each told a story, from when he was a frustrated teen working to his father's orders of better, faster, stronger to the sparring session they shared two days prior when he took hit after hit from her but refused to harm a hair on her pretty head. Leaning down, she pressed kisses to each fingertip before tweaking the rough pads, ensuring the blood flowed properly to encourage them to loosen up. 

"I love your body. It's so strong...and hot. Really fucking hot," she chuckled, unable to hide the grin in her voice as yet more oil pooled in the cleft of his spine as she returned to one of his best features - one of her favourites. 

He hummed a response, a faint dusting of pink visible on his cheeks as she resumed work on his back, pushing hard on the taut muscles there before dragging her hands out toward his ribs. 

Ray couldn't help but ache from her words, feeling it in his heart from her gut-wrenching confession as he succumbed to her request and let himself fully relax into the massage - utterly at her mercy. And mercy it was. She did everything for him, slowly kneading big circles, gently pulling each side down and pushing away, relaxing the whole area before moving higher and starting again, kneading, pulling, pushing, dragging moan after guttural moan from his lips. 

His cock throbbed against the sheets, hard and aching for release as her weight pressed it into the mattress. It meant he couldn't grind himself into the cotton-like he desperately craved, feeling pleasure race down his every nerve ending from the angel naked on top of him, but he was too limp and amazed by her to move. 

He wouldn't complain about getting old for at least a few days as she reached his lower back, oiling him up so her hands glided down and across his waist, the one he insisted she wraps her legs around every time he pinned her down and took his fill.

Moving further down the bed, she grinned at the sight of his cute ass, having always secretly loved it for just its general...cuteness. It was so cute at the apex of his cinched-in torso before it widened for his firm, smooth buttocks, which, of course, were firmly kneaded without a care in the world since that's what he usually did. 

Ray Manchester was an ass man, through and through, so his sweet girl held nothing back as she listened to the small voice inside her head that said the soft flesh there was to be touched and admired, which sparked a small want in her. It looked so soft - like a marshmallow - and it's not like he hadn't done it before, so...

"Hey!... Did you just bite my ass?" Ray gasped when he felt a slight, painless sensation pinch his backside, but it melted into a chuckle when he felt a kiss a few inches from the crime scene. He was shocked but not disgusted and laughed with his lover as she sat back on her haunches to admire the indent she had left behind. 

"Maybe... You know you can't talk, doofus."

"Not my fault you have the most gorgeous fucking ass I ever s--shit, that's good--"

His words dried up on a choke as she descended to his thighs, using another inch of oil from the now half-empty bottle on his thighs, which were nearly as delicious as his butt. She worked much more slowly on his upper legs, relishing in the stiff muscles crafted by Greek Gods. Gently teasing his inner thigh with feather-light trails, the heroine pushed deep circles up the backs of those powerful legs, stopping once to return his hand to his ass cheek for one last squeeze. 

Finally, she reached the end of his long body, and her hands were burning from the massage as if she'd absorbed the aches and pains from him. She ignored it, knowing she'd do it all over again if it left this tempestuous man docile and purring between her thighs - and not in the usual way. 

He seemed to enjoy the last moments the most, relishing how her thumbs ran up and down his calves and feet, perhaps because it wasn't easy carrying his heavy, six-foot frame around all day to various corners of the city. At this point, she could feel her sticky arousal clinging to her thighs, and like Ray, she wished more than anything to clamp them shut in search of some friction, but her work prevented her from doing that, even as she reached his final pinky toe. 

The sheets were ruined - stained from the excess oil she used and the room would smell like lavender for weeks, but neither cared. Ray didn't know the meaning of work as she slithered up his body, ensuring he felt her hardened nipples and tummy brush against his back as she settled on top of his form again. 

"Better?" She asked in his ear quietly, pressing a kiss to his cheek and temple as her hands roamed his jelly-like arms. 

"Mmm," he grunted, too blissed out to form words, but he vowed he'd make it up to her later. Anything for the only girl he'd ever let see him like this, and he'd dated a few in his time. None of them had the privilege of seeing Captain Man in this weak state, but they never wanted to. They didn't care as she did, and Ray swore a tear ran down his cheek from the love swelling in his heart for his wife; damn whether a piece of paper dictated whether she was or not. 

She taught him to believe in love. Wholeheartedly. And for that, she was officially his unofficial wife. 

"Then turn over." The simple command pulled a groan from his lips, but he did as she asked, feeling younger than he had in years as he waited for her to move to one side before he rolled onto his back. In healing his body, she discovered his soul, and it didn't ache anymore, not when he cracked open his eyes to see his angel kneeling by his side, skin flushed and bumpy from the chilled air or the rampant desire between them, either one. 

His lips parted again as he scanned her perfect figure, his tongue darting out to wet them as he studied her movements, unable to stop himself from staring at her tits or ass. He was a gentleman at the end of the day, but as she saw when he rolled over, his courteous nature had been pushed aside by an animal - like she made him be - hungry for the sweet girl pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. 

"Poor baby...all this just from me rubbing your back?" She teased with a mischievous smile as she took in the delicious thickness between his thighs, laying heavily against his abs as she swung her leg over him again. 

"You know it is," he growled, taking in the familiar sight of her hovering over him, and she didn't miss the twitching of his cock when he noticed the slick between her legs. He wanted her, throbbed for her, and she took great delight in it, knowing a little oil and her rubbing up against him made him as solid as granite. 

Still in a teasing mood, her fingers danced across his inner thigh, drawing a hiss from him at the tender touch, and he longed for her to slide that pretty pussy over his cock and let him feel her. Part of him said that this wasn't right; his precious girl should be beneath him, legs spread, taking his cock so she could relax against the pillows, but he didn't dare move, not when her palm moved to the right and grasped his length. 

"Gonna ride you, sweetheart. You want that?"

"Fuck yes," he groaned as she took him into her hand and began pumping him slowly, the residual oil making her glide up and down his member easily. His hips jerked up into her movements as she carefully jerked him off, but she quickly put a stop to it, shuffling forward, so she straddled his thigh, which granted her more space to pin his hipbone with her free hand. 

She explored his abdomen, roaming his chiselled V-line and abs with a hungry stare since every time she saw them, she wanted to run her tongue over them. Ray didn't miss how she stared, fully aware of her lust for his body after catching one too many stares when he was shirtless in the gym, but she refused to surrender her newfound dominance. He was supposed to relax, and she didn't want those muscles flexing. 

"Can you promise me you'll behave?" She asked breathlessly as her hips moved against his thick thigh, slowly at first but gaining speed once she found a rhythm. All the while, her wrist twisted the movements on his cock, pulling low moans from him as he watched her hand with hooded eyes that met her devilish ones. 

"That means no trying to take charge, doofus."

"Will you fuck me if I say yes?" He asked, raising a cocky eyebrow in a last-ditch attempt to regain his instinctive dominance, but a jerk of her wrist and he howled. A long, guttural moan tore from his chest, which turned into a whine when her soaked pussy left his thigh, only to kill and send him to heaven when she settled above his cock. 

"You want my pussy. You have to behave, Raymond. Can you feel how much I need you? Want your big cock inside me..." (y/n) taunted him in a needy voice, the one she used when coaxing her Captain to give her what she wanted finally. But now, the tables had turned as she ground against him, feeling his hard length run through her wetness and catch on her entrance. 

The temptation to fuck it all and slide him in was high, and she clenched around nothing at the thought of finally satiating the burning need in her core, but the look on his face made it worth his. His eyes were screwed shut as his mouth contorted in a pain-filled grimace, and she had to lace his fingers between hers to stop him from seizing her hips and flipping them over. 

Nothing was stopping him from doing that, and they both knew it. He was Captain Man, infinitely stronger than Miss Danger, and with half her patience, but he went limp the second she pressed his wrists to the mattress beside his head. All the fight drained from his body, and he gazed into her determined eyes, seeing the challenge to take what he wanted as she rubbed his sensitive head against her clit. 

Nothing was stopping him. He could have her if he wanted. 

"I'll behave. Please, sweet girl...don't stop," his quiet pleas caused a smile to break out on her face, and she giggled at the lightness in her chest. Finally, he let go, and she knew what that meant for him, the man who had greatness thrust upon him at the tender age of eight. He cared so much, so guiding him to her soaked opening, she took care of him.

"Feel so good...So, good..." they moaned together as she slid down his cock, engulfing it in her tight warmth in one fell swoop. He was so big - so big every time he took her - like it was splitting her apart and pulling her back together in the best way. The slightest hint of pain, the breach of his cock melting into a delicious fire that licked and coated her nerves as the fat head knocked against soft tissue inside her. 

After taking a minute to adjust to him - an agonisingly long minute for Ray, but as always, he refused to move before she was ready - she found a pace with a slow rut that dragged his cock along tight walls where she could feel every single vein throb enticingly against her.

Rocking her hips steadily, gaining speed and confidence with each drop, she panted how good he felt, how thick—how addicted she was to the feel of him, how she wanted to fuck him for hours. Her nails curved down over the muscles of his shoulder blades, along his waist—basking in his size, his strength—before folding herself in half to meet him in a messy, teeth-clashing kiss that spoke of the pent-up frustration in both of them. 

It wasn't fair how everything fell to them. It wasn't fair that three people had to protect an entire city. It wasn't fair that the whole town paid for a police force that didn't care about them. It wasn't fair that those heroes still managed, despite the mistreatment. It wasn't fair that he couldn't call her his wife yet. It wasn't fair she couldn't call him her husband. It wasn't fair they still had to wait another year before making it official. 

None of it was fair, so there was no wonder she doubled her efforts to try and dull the ache from not being Mrs Manchester until the fancy resort they liked had a booking available. 

"Love you, doofus. Wanna take care of you, love you, and--god, wanna--wanna spend my life with you!"

"Fuck, darlin'. Wha--what--who'd I please to deserve you? Hmmm? Who sent you?" He rambled as she swivelled her hips faster, seeking his high more than her own. Maybe it would horrify him, but she wanted to wreck him, build up his pleasure and then wring it out of him in a gut-wrenching orgasm - like what he usually did for her. 

All that could be heard in the room was the vulgar sounds of her ass hitting his thighs as she rode him with a renewed passion, frantic to see him helpless underneath him, and she doubled her efforts as he settled his hands on her hips. Losing the will to be brutal as her pussy seized with need, she allowed him some control when he began to direct her movements, showing her how to roll against him until their ends were close. 

"Shit--I love you, doofus," (y/n) whimpered as she folded her body over his, so they could share a brief yet passionate kiss before they broke apart to pant against each other's lips. His hands brushed down her back, anything to feel her silky smooth skin beneath his fingertips, with his re-energised muscles pushing him to go harder. 

"I love you so much--fuck, gonna give you my cum--fuck--" he garbled as heat crept up his spine, urging his hips to move in small, sharp thrusts underneath her. The added friction caused them both to groan, and, lost to the pleasure, she said nothing, knowing that if this were him misbehaving, she'd take it any day. 

Biting at his bottom lip for the final time, the heroine met his mini thrusts perfectly, choking out a whiny moan with each battering hit to her pussy. It hurt so good, and Ray growled lowly in his chest as he watched her tweak her nipple and rub circles on her throbbing clit - once, twice, thrice - he swore he could've died. 

"Yes! I want that--want your cum. Pleasepleasepleaseplease--" she gasped as he abruptly sat up, his oiled torso pressing against hers as he wrapped his arms around her small form--and clamped her to him. A long, broken moan reverberated in her ear as he came - hard - groaning and grinding his hips up into her pussy as the sudden change of angle brought her release. 

The tight heat around her prolonged his pleasure, making Ray pant harshly into her hair as he rambled incoherent praises for the woman securely in his embrace. Everything felt hot, sticky, and close, from their spent bodies to the air around them - a stifling but not unpleasant haze of lavender and sex - but they loved it, loved the closeness of their post-workout glow as their hearts slowed with their breathing. 

Ray collapsed back on the bed, taking his sweet girl with him as the relaxation reached past his physical being and into his mind, meaning he didn't care about their ruined sheets or the fact that people were probably looking for them since it was early afternoon. All he cared about was the angel in his arms and how even after having the brains fucked out of him, he still wanted to have her again. 

He could feel her pussy twitching around him, and he wasn't ashamed to say he perked up with interest, even though she seemed perfectly content to trace her finger over his pec and rest on top of him. 

"Feel better?" she asked quietly, kissing his chest once, causing it to bloom with affection as he sighed and basked in the blissful peace around them. 

"Yeah...so much better, thanks to you, sweet girl," he replied quietly, pecking her forehead in gratitude as she snuggled into him, clearly content to stay like that, despite only cumming once. That didn't sit right with him; it never did, even if this was meant to be about him, and he, and he couldn't just lie there and say and do nothing. 

"Let me repay you."

"Nu-uh. This isn't about repayment, doofus. I wanted to do it," (y/n) told him firmly, her hand darting out to grab his when she felt it drift over the curve of her ass - and she knew what would follow that. 

As lovely as the idea was, it had taken her an hour to get him this zen, and besides, she'd received more than her fair share over the years they'd dated. It was time to give back, and that's entirely what she intended to do. 

"I can't just--"

"I am more than satisfied, Ray. I got to take care of the man I love..." she grinned and pulled his wandering hand back to her chest so she could kiss his knuckles. It was painfully sweet to watch, but that was her all over, and for once, the hero didn't argue as she raised her hips to separate their conjoined bodies. A small part of him longed to return the favour, but he stopped himself. 

Ray allowed himself to be genuinely selfish for one hour of his life. To not worry about the world. To not run around after others. To not dance when someone clicks their fingers. He lay back and relaxed, content to doze with his fiancée as she momentarily slipped out of bed to bring him a glass of water and a damp flannel to wipe his brow. 

Only mischief was on her mind. 

"...and he's more than welcome to join me in the shower in half an hour."

Yep, she was his perfect girl.

*Six thousand filthy words later and in the words of season one Piper, I AM NOT OKAY!!! Seriously that took me like two hours, and now I have to do the episode :) Just smile and type, Ruth, smile and type. 

In all seriousness, though, that smut was for me, so now, this chapter is for all of you. My beloved readers. And the next two episodes because I'm not too fond of those either. 

For the innocents rejoining us, we're about to begin, so please take your seats. Although, in fairness, this shit's about to get properly weird. I don't know if you want to stick around. It's worse than the smut ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

~The Man Cave~

Henry was suspicious. 

Not overly suspicious, but curious. Suspiciously curious. A bit like how his parents were sceptically interested after he went missing for a month, only he managed to placate them with a few finessed lies and his sister's help. This was different and didn't involve butterflies. 

For the last two days, he, (y/n), and Ray had been called out to an abundance of irritating, strenuous and time-consuming emergencies, all of which had taken their toll on his man-child of a boss. So, understandably, he'd been in a foul mood, snapping and arguing over the little things - nearly biting his head off for sneezing in the Man Van. 

He was tired. He understood that, and he was tired too. However, he couldn't understand how all his crabbiness seemed to disappear mysteriously after he slunk off to his bedroom with the pretty heroine traipsing after him. 

A couple of hours later, he was smiling, cracking jokes, and fooling around like it was the first call of the week, which baffled the kid as he watched his boss mess around like the big idiot he was. What had happened in those few hours between the paintball guy and the Burrito Brothers? 

Why was he suddenly so...relaxed?

"Man, what is it about fighting the Burrito Brothers that makes me stupid hungry?" The smiley hero asked as he and his sidekicks jetted down the tubes with springs in their steps - not because the mission had been easy, but because they were glad to be home. 

Henry glanced at the happy couple, noting how clingy and affectionate they were, which wasn't uncommon for them - not in the slightest - but it was excessive. Strangely, (y/n) clung to her doofus like a lady on a gentleman, and he escorted her down the steps without glancing at the floor in front of him because that would mean tearing his eyes away from her pretty face. 

"I don't know, doof, but I'm stupidly hungry too," she replied with a lovestruck smile as her tummy grumbled quietly. They'd skipped lunch, and somehow, accidentally on purpose, they'd snuck a workout in between, so she was ravenous.

"I mean, is it the name?"

"I am stupid starving," Henry agreed as Ray kept ogling his precious girl, shrugging off their weird behaviour since they found a new reason to fall in love every day. Perhaps they were feeling extra touchy today, or maybe it was a full moon or something; he didn't know. All he knew was that if he didn't have a snack in the next five minutes, he would die—or something to that effect. 

"'Cause right now, I am the Spanish word for hungry..."

"That would be hambriento, or tienes hambre, doofus," (y/n) told him helpfully, melting his heart and brain because that was hot. She was hot. It was all hot. Caliente. And it turned his mind to mush as they casually strolled across the room, doting on each other so much that nothing stole their attention. 

"Or the Spanish word for food..."

"That's comida," she knew he was toying with her now, throwing word after word out in a ploy to get her to say more stuff, and Henry wasn't helping. Happy to know his boss was back to his usual chirpy self, the kid eagerly played along with the banter, causing the woman to roll her eyes when Ray's hand settled in the small of her back and guided her towards the table and auto-snacker. Although, secretly, it was nice to know she flustered him so much. 

"I could literally eat a fully grown Spanish person right now!" 

"What have I said about encouraging him, Hen?" She joked, biting her tongue as her shoulder nudged the kid, making them engage in a minor scuffle until Ray noticed something...peculiar. 

In the middle of the room, balanced on a small cabinet, was a jar, like the kind you'd see in some dusty bar out in the sticks with pickled eggs, trotters and onions. No one knew where it had come from, but they were more focused on its contents; hundreds of milky-coloured balls covered in a purple goo as they floated in an equally strange liquid. It shimmered like the cosmos and had an intoxicating, sweet smell as they got closer to see the unknown substance. 

"Are these leechees?" Ray asked, pointing at the suspicious jar of what he assumed was syrupy, preserved fruit, even if he butchered the pronunciation. In fairness, it wasn't a wrong guess; they looked and smelled good enough to eat, but despite her hunger, (y/n)'s tummy told her to stay away—warding her off with its age-old wisdom that she shouldn't touch what she didn't understand. 

"Um, sweetheart, it's pronounced lychees, but we shouldn't—"

"You know, the fruit? That you can eat?" If only Ray had the same caution. He was still buzzing from his mid-afternoon break with his sweet girl, so all he saw was her beautiful face and a load of nibbles, perfectly sized for him to feed her. He'd seen the cooking channel, and he could swear that these things grew on trees, meaning there was no need to be wary. Why else would they be out in the open if not for eating?

"You keep saying leechees. It's lychees—lychees—lychees. It's pronounced lychees like (y/n) said," Henry tried to correct him as the hero kept rambling, but in the end, he gave up when his hard-headed boss kept talking about whatever fruit he thought they were. If the leechees—lychees—whatever—were good enough for him, then they were good enough for Henry, who'd worked up an appetite after battling two men who used burritos as ammo. 

"You know what? I'm starving—I'm eating a lychee," the boy held up his hand to make Ray shut up before he dipped the same fingers into the jar. He plucked one of the "fruit" from the liquid, noting how it clung to his gloves like goop, and the saccharine essence became even stronger as he brought it to his face. 

"Wait!" Ray suddenly interjected, stopping Henry just before he could place the lychee in his mouth, and (y/n) breathed a sigh of relief. 

"What?"

"This is a bad idea," he told the kid with a stern face, and the kid paused for a moment. The woman clinging to her doofus broke out into a smile, shocked that they were being sensible and listening to her tummy for once. She pressed a kiss to Ray's shoulder - or as near as she could get to it - feeling perfectly content and happily in love since they were playing it safe. Right?

"Thank you, doofus. Glad I'm not the only one who thinks we should just get some chicken nuggies from the—"

"Why?" Henry asked as (y/n) gestured to the auto-snacker, frowning at his boss for suggesting that the lychees were bad news when all he saw was fruit preserved in sugary syrup. What was so wrong with that? There were millions in the jar; surely, Schwoz, Charlotte, or whoever wouldn't miss a couple. 

"Because, dude, you don't even know...how good I am at catching food in my mouth!" Ray exclaimed, and (y/n)'s face fell like a ton of bricks. She thumped his bicep and whined, hating how they were messing with the mysterious food when they didn't know who it belonged to or where it came from, but the boys being the boys, wanted to show off - like the testosterone-fuelled chimps they were. 

"I am also very good at catching food in my mouth!"

"I'm probably a little bit better..."

"To be fair, sweetheart, you say that about everything, and you're almost always wrong," (y/n) said tentatively as her lover preened like a peacock, his ego stretching out before him as Henry dared to say he was better at something. His face turned to hers in a twist of betrayal and, strangely, amusement as if her words provided a challenge, and he could never be angry at her, so his eyes quickly softened as he pulled her into a loose embrace, arms hanging limply off her waist. 

"You weren't saying that earlier in the shower—"

"And I'm outta here!" Henry choked as his wide eyes darted anywhere but in their direction, and he made to leave the room before he heard something revolting, which he assumed boosted the man's mood and her touchiness that afternoon. He could grab a snack at home, or a cafe, or on the moon—anything that meant he could get out of their way, but Ray wasn't done with him yet, even if he was in the middle of rubbing noses with his precious fiancée. 

"You wanna go?" He challenged the kid, pulling away from his flushed girl, who couldn't help but run her tongue over her lips to chase the fading taste of peppermint. She still wasn't entirely pleased by their fooling around, but her brain felt so fuzzy now, slightly hypoxic after being ruined by his kiss. 

"You wanna go?" And Henry was receptive. Seeing the man put down his lover, he eyed the jar and thought about the offer, thinking anything Ray could do, he could do better—or something like that. So, he swallowed the bile rising from his stomach and returned to their side, eager to show off. 

"Let's do this thing!"

"Okay, okay, let's go!" 

"Seriously? How old are you two?" (y/n) groaned as they each took a suspicious lychee and moved away from the trolley. Facing each other off, they stood about two metres apart, so they could throw the small fruits into each other's mouths as the woman watched on her her head in her hands, and Ray was the first to try it out. He dropped his jaw open, looking like a goldfish, as Henry lined up his shot and tossed the fruit, but his aim was awful to say he was a superhero's sidekick. 

He came, he threw, and he completely missed. 

The so-called snack soared past Ray's head and landed somewhere near the supercomputer, where it would be forgotten about and left to rot until the pungent smell drew someone to clean it up months later.

"My bad—my bad—my bad."

"No problem. We got plenty of leechees," Ray brushed off his worries as he pointed to the whole jar, but Henry kept cringing at his dodgy pronunciation. 

"Pronounced lychees, though.

"Uh, agree to disagree—cheese!" However, the hero dismissed him quickly, preferring to focus on their little competition since he obviously had the sweetest spectator in the world - on his side. So, he tossed his lychee, but to say he was a superhero, who trained in sharpshooting since he was a child, had every weapon under the sun, and whose job it was to hit every target every time, he was an appalling marksman. 

At least he hit Henry's face. That was something. He didn't get it in the boy's open mouth, but it hit his cheek. Not a bad attempt. 

"You two are terrible, you know that? You can't hit the target to save your lives," (y/n) giggled as she watched the fruit hit the floor, and her doofus turned to her with a faux-annoyed face. He booped her nose, causing her eyelashes to flutter and her cheeks to heat up as he reached into the jar again for more ammo. Of course, she was willing to show them how it was done, but the plan was still stupid in her eyes. She wouldn't touch those slimy alls even if they paid her. 

"Watch, sweet girl. It's a numbers game, and we're getting close..." Ray announced confidently, tossing a few more lychees at Henry, all pinging off his nose, upper lip, forehead or cheek every time. To say he was meant to be impressing her as only he could, he wasn't doing an outstanding job, so he tried again. And again. And again. 

Twenty minutes later, and (y/n) wasn't sure about turning it on, she was ready to nod off. Having grown tired of every failed attempt shared by the boys, she'd plopped onto the couch and watched with her head resting on her arms, her eyes getting heavier and heavier with each achingly slow, passing second. 

Hundreds of attempts later, Ray and Henry were still going, determined to succeed just once, even as the tried and tested lychees from the dwindling jar piled up around them. They littered the floor like stars in the sky, creating a huge mess that (y/n) would inevitably make them clean up after she woke up from her dozing. 

"I honestly thought we'd be a bit better at this," Henry admitted as he held one of the remaining lychees between his forefinger and thumb, ready to toss it in his boss's general direction. He had the excuse of being a child, with a quarter of Ray's experience with aiming and shooting, so what was his reason?

"Yeah, you would've thought you'd have caught one by now...y'know, since we're superheroes," (y/n) uttered, her words slightly slurred since her cheek was smushed into her arm, but they resonated with the boys all the same. It was an excellent point; they shared a sheepish look, knowing she was right. How did they take down criminals when they could barely do this?

"Yeah, well, this is the last lychee, so let's make it count," Kid Danger stated as he held up their last chance. There was nothing left but syrupy stuff in the jar - and they'd checked thoroughly, so they were determined to make it this time. So determined, Ray prodded his precious girl and encouraged her to open her pretty eyes before they did, so she could witness him being great. Y'know, because he liked her attention...amongst other things. 

"All right, I'm ready for it.'

"This is the one. I can feel it! Just don't mess up the throw," the hero advised his sidekick as Charlotte, Jasper, and Schwoz emerged from the secret door, sloping off after a minor incident involving the so-called lychees. The heroes were oblivious to their presence because it was just their friends in the Man Cave, nothing weird about that, so they didn't see how their faces fell and contorted in panic at the sight of the empty jar...or their dangerous horseplay. 

"Dude, my throws are gold!" Henry complained, thinking he was a pretty damn good shot. He was not as good as (y/n) - she had an edge, which made up for her lack of physical strength - but he wasn't as bad as his boss. 

"Yeah. Fool's gold."

"Whaaaat?"

"What are you guys doing?!" Charlotte snapped, interrupting their banter before they could start bickering again, and her volume suddenly caused (y/n) to be very awake. What was all the noise for? And why did she look so pale when she saw what they were doing with the purple lychees? She'd ruin their concentration if she weren't careful, but that wouldn't be bad in the girl's mind. 

"Quiet, Charlotte. I'm about to catch a leechee."

"Pronounced lychee, doof," the heroine muttered as she rubbed her tired eyes and shuffled off the couch. Now that everyone had gathered, she felt she needed to stand up; this was her lover's big moment, even if she didn't like how he dismissed the girl so harshly. She whacks him for that later. 

"NOOOOOOO!" However, Schwoz scared everyone when he bolted from the doorway and held his hands out as if to get them to stop, but he wasn't fast enough. His shout came too late as Henry tossed the lychee, and Ray opened his mouth wide, willing the forbidden fruit to hit his tongue, despite his sweet girl's warnings. A strange feeling set in her tummy - the kind that always told her to run, hide or stop what she was doing because something wasn't right, but as time seemed to slow down, it was too late to do anything - save for Henry's dab. 

Thankfully, by some goddamn miracle, or maybe just Henry's bad throwing, the lychee bounced off the man's upper lip, saving him from a truckload of trouble as it rolled along the floor to join the others. Well, that was their last chance gone. 

"Dah! You guys made me miss!" Ray grumbled as he pointedly glared at everyone except for (y/n) because he could never blame her. 

"My throw was sick!" Henry noted, and the blame fell to the helpers who'd come through the door, but they didn't have it in themselves to feel bad. If only they knew what they'd been playing with, they weren't leechees or lychees. 

"Wow, that was close..." Schwoz sighed, breathing a sigh of relief as he stared at the mess on the ground, thankful that it was there and not inside anyone. As he explained to the teens earlier after Jasper nearly made the same mistake, that would be very bad indeed, and (y/n) didn't miss his frown or the alleviation in his voice, which made her frown too. 

"What was close?" She asked as she neared her doofus and brushed up against his arm, having been too far away from him for too long, but despite the joy she felt when he curled an arm around her shoulders, she couldn't help the concern swelling in her chest. Ray wasn't particularly bothered - he was still hungry - but she focused entirely on the genius, especially when he explained...

"If you had eaten that, an alien would have—" Schwoz started, and her eyes widened at the word alien, but he never got to finish because the Man Cave's resident mastermind got there first. 

"And I'm no longer listening. Five-second rule!" Ray interrupted him and dropped it like it was hot so he could pick the freshly tossed not-lychee from the floor and pop it in his mouth. (y/n) felt the blood in her face drain away at their horrified expression, and even though she didn't understand why they looked so scared, it didn't take a genius to realise that her doofus had done a very doofy thing. And it wasn't just because he'd eaten food off the floor, something she'd scolded him for many times before. 

"Ugh, I always forget how much I hate leechees," the man pulled a face as the fruit squirted a surprisingly bitter flavour across his tongue. It was salty, almost metallic, and had a strange texture like jelly he couldn't chew, quite unlike what he remembered lychees to be like, but one thing was for sure. He'd need to brush his teeth or drown himself in his sweet girl's honeyed taste to get rid of whatever he'd just put in his mouth. 

"Ah, me too, dude. They are gross," Henry agreed blindly, even though he'd been smart enough not to eat food from the floor. 

"Those aren't leechees!" Schwoz told them sharply, causing (y/n) to gulp as her suspicions were confirmed. Dammit, why didn't her doofus ever listen? Why didn't she stop him earlier? And most importantly, if they weren't fruit, what were those things?"

"Can't you read the sign I didn't put on the jar?!" The genius snapped and held up a sticky labelled in Ray's face, but he didn't have the time to read it, as Jasper explained.

"Those are alien eggs," he said, and it was like the world stopped. Suddenly, Ray's tummy didn't feel so good, and neither did Henry's and (y/n) swore she would pass out because those didn't sound edible or safe. More like something out of a horror sci-fi movie, and her doofus had eaten them. He'd goddamn eaten them, causing her shaking hand to reach for his as the hideous truth dawned on them. 

"Huh?"

"Those are alien eggs!" Charlotte reiterated when the hero's mind went blank, save for the thought that he wondered why they tasted so bad. 

"Huh?" He mumbled again, glad he had his precious girl by his side because he'd done some foolish things in his time, but eating alien eggs took the biscuit. Her petrified face stared at his blank one, looking for any sign that this was some big prank and they were going to tell her that her lover wasn't now infested, but he looked as terrified as she did. 

"Those are alien eggs!"

"All right, we get it! Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on before I explode?!" (y/n) snapped as the repetition got too much for her, fighting back the tears. She was strong - undoubtedly strong - and she could deal with a lot of shit, god knowing she had done after over a decade spent living in the Man Cave, but when eggs and things got mentioned, she freaked out...a lot. 

"Schwoz told us if you eat one, it will grow and hatch inside your stomach!" Jasper exclaimed, and the woman swore vomit rose in her throat as her body shook. She would need every ounce of her strength to get through this because that was her doofus, the man she swore to love no matter what, and he was—what? Incubating? Henry hovered behind her as she swayed from side to side, thinking she was about to faint, but gathering her resolve, she looked Schwoz dead in the eye and muttered lowly, trying not to lose it. 

"Schwoz...please tell me that isn't true," she begged, feeling Ray's hand squeeze hers lightly, but she felt like she was floating above the room, looking down on the scene rather than being a part of it. It all felt surreal until her world came crashing into reality with the small man's grimace. 

"It's true..." he revealed, and at the moment—four-o-four. (y/n) not found. She wasn't an idiot, and for all his stupidity and recklessness, Ray wasn't either, so it didn't take long for them to put two and two together. This wasn't how it was meant to be...

"Schwoz...did I just get pregnant with an alien baby?" Ray asked squeakily, feeling his blood pressure go through the roof in a revelation that was hard on him and his fiancée. They'd always wanted children, little ones running around, half him and half her, to complete the family of their dreams, but this was a little early...plus, a tad extreme. Alien babies were out of their comfort zone, and panic set in when he wondered if this would be too weird for them to survive. 

"We won't know for sure for a couple of days," Schwoz revealed solemnly, and Ray looked around at his silent family. Henry pulled at an uneasy face and held up his crossed fingers, saying a silent prayer that by some miracle, the alien egg wouldn't hatch and they'd had a near miss. 

Perhaps Lady Luck was shining on them that day, or maybe the Goddess of Love would take pity on the lovers, who had enough to think about as it was, let alone a mutant freak alien baby. (y/n) breathed deeply to try and control her nerves, which were understandably running rampant at the thought of her doofus...giving birth—god, she never thought she'd imagine that. 

It wasn't exactly the order they'd planned things, not when they were so busy with their superhero careers, but at least if it was the other way around, and she had a little one in her tummy, there'd be a degree of normality. Something to be excited about. The way nature intended. This would be the ultimate test of their love—to see if they could take it to the brink of insanity and survive. 

But maybe she was panicking over nothing. Perhaps she was being her classic (y/n)-self; think about the worst outcome, not the other possibilities. Everything could be fine, and they'd be laughing about this in two days. Yeah, that was it. This was nothing to worry about - a mere hiccup in the road. Everything was going to be all right. 

~Two days later~

Or not. 

Everything was not all right, and nothing was okay. And she was about to have a heart attack. 

For two days, they'd waited with bated breath, looking out for every known pregnancy symptom, and (y/n), a responsible adult female in a serious, long-term relationship, was deemed an expert. Don't know why but she was. She rolled her eyes at that, having never actually been pregnant and knowing very little about the finer details, but since she was...a mother-to-be - shoot her - she watched the...father-to-be's - shoot him - every move. 

No morning sickness. Ray continued to feel...fine every morning, meaning they carried on as usual in that regard, much to their friend's disgust when she had to make a cryptic note about his progress.

For the same reason, Ray didn't seem tired. He had plenty of energy and whined when his sweet girl forbade him from going out on missions with the argument that, for once, Swellview could shove its problems and leave them in peace because this was a crisis - one he was very much awake for. 

Then, more problems came when he lacked the...biology to show signs of their bundle of joy. He had no boobs to ache, no uterus to check, and the appetite of a horse, so it was impossible to see if he suddenly disliked any food. Therefore, by the second morning, (y/n) was almost certain - praying - that the egg didn't begin to grow and they could resume their happy, healthy, normal relationship, but of course, that was too much to ask. 

Everything was normal until that fateful morning when Ray woke up feeling like an elephant was sitting on his bladder, an octopus was alive in his tummy, and he'd gained fifty pounds in weight. He felt...off, and nothing prepared the Man Cave for the bellowing screech he let out when he shuffled to the bathroom, only to see himself in the mirror. 

It was clear to see out in the light of the main room, and everything suddenly felt very real. Standing in front of the same mirror in the Man Cave, surrounded by his nearest and dearest, Ray Manchester, a thirty-seven-year-old man, stood cradling his very pregnant belly with a disturbed expression. The growth had occurred almost overnight, (y/n) having gone to bed adoring his washboard abs with every piece of her heart. 

To see his tummy so large, round heavy that his t-shirt couldn't stretch over it made her feel physically sick, and it was more than Henry and Charlotte's job's worth to pat her back as she tried not to cry. This wasn't how it was supposed to go...

"We know for sure. You're pregnant."

"Oh, yeah? What gave you that stellar idea, Schwoz?" She hissed bitterly, her eyes glued to the swollen mass glued to her panicking doofus, who had so many questions yet so little time. If he could get this big in two days, when would he...y'know...pop? It was most unlike his darling girl to be rude, especially to the coconut-headed genius, but no one could blame her. If she barely knew where to look, then the teens barely knew what to say, unlike Schwoz. 

"Congratulations!" He grinned and pushed the couple together, causing Ray to wrap an arm around his girl, who, to his heartbreak, could barely look at him in that condition. As quick as a flash, he pulled out a party popper and pulled the string, releasing the confetti and silver string over the unamused couple, who had never felt so distant in all of their relationship until now. 

"Yay..." he cheered in a quiet voice as they glared at him. 

"Fuck off, Schwoz," (y/n) snapped as she pulled away from her rapidly swelling fiancé and marched off to go and think. That's what she needed to do; sit down and think. Just think everything through, leaving her friends to watch her go sadly. Ray's mouth opened to call out after her, knowing this was difficult, but he needed her the most out of everyone since he didn't know how pregnancy worked. 

He couldn't do this alone, but no words left him as she disappeared through the sprocket, and he knew he couldn't follow. She needed time alone, and he couldn't walk that far unaided if he tried. Seriously, how did women do this? He felt so off-balance and whale-like, and if he was frank, he wanted to bury himself in her arms and shed a tear or two. 

This wasn't what they had planned, but there was nothing they could do now, and all they could do was come together and prepare for parenthood...for their alien baby. 

~

Another two days later, (y/n) had primarily gotten over her initial shock. She was by no means happy to learn that Schwoz's little experiment with the space rock from all those years ago had led to her doofus becoming a human vector for god knows what abomination was inside of him, but she was slowly learning to live with it - and him. 

Ray didn't suit being pregnant, and he commended her for agreeing to have their children should the opportunity arise. It was awful. His back hurt, his bladder was constantly full, he couldn't sleep at night, he had heartburn every five seconds, his ankles were swollen, the morning sickness had hit him in full swing, he wanted every food under the sun but smushed together on the same plate, and worst of all, his libido was ten times what it usually was, which was a lot. And (y/n) wouldn't touch him with a ten-foot pole. 

That made him incredibly grumpy, crabby, moody, snappy and whiny, and if he was all those things, then everyone around him had to face his wrath - except for his sweet girl, who was at his beck and call for everything. Everyone else, though, was miserable because Pregnant Ray was an absolute bitch.

"Uh, I want this thing out of me!" Ray groaned as he emerged from the secret door and the bathroom in the corridor behind it. (y/n) was on his arm, helping him walk since his stomach was impossibly larger forty-eight hours later. 

The hero wore an especially fetching and comfortable tank top that showed off his beefy arms for his sweet girl to drool over, except that it humorously had "Future Sidekick" and an arrow pointing to his belly printed on it. He looked so damn hot until she got to the front part, and then, she had to remember that he was ready to burst and reliant on everyone around him. 

"It keeps kicking my bladder. I gotta pee every five minutes, and I'm sick of it!"

"Welcome to the pleasures of being a woman, Raymond..." she sighed as she helped him over to the couch, her more petite body taking most of his weight. He was eternally grateful and amazed that she and millions of others worldwide wanted to go through the debilitating process, but he was so fed up already, having suddenly become heavily pregnant in under a week. How women did it for over nine months was beyond him, and he didn't mean to be so mean - he just hated how this was tearing them apart. 

"Yeah, relax. It's only been a couple of days," Jasper dismissed his groaning, also fed up with the whole pregnancy thing, but only because he bellyached. He would never be so dismissive if it were someone else, but Ray was just a drama queen. 

"Uh, excuse me. Have you ever been pregnant?" Ray asked sassily, proving the boy's point. It wasn't his fault that he'd only had the odd peck from his precious girl over the past few days since every time she embraced him, his belly bumped hers, and then, weird shit happened. She could feel the alien moving and squirming inside him, which made her skin crawl, so after brushing her lips against his cheek, she ran off to get him juice, a fluffy pillow, or a book to read. And that made him wilt. 

"No..."

"Then maybe don't tell the pregnant man to relax." A definite drama queen, but he didn't miss how his fiancée sighed at those two vital words as she helped him sit down. 

"Just relax, Ray," she muttered, and he groaned lowly when he finally took the weight off his aching back and feet. His bulky, masculine body was not suited to carry the alien, and his heart wasn't prepared for how she walked on eggshells around him. She didn't seem to call him doofus as much, and everything they usually did was impossible because of his belly - it got in the way of everything, meaning he'd never been so desperate to hold her in his arms. 

"Thank you, darlin'", he muttered as he relaxed on the couch as she instructed, smiling softly when she sat behind him. Her hand settled on his shoulder, waiting for the next thing he needed, and the proximity was good enough for him as Jasper brought over a much-needed snack, although it was one of his craving creations and, therefore, inedible to anyone else. He couldn't feed his sweet girl nibbles even if he tried - she hated the tastes he suddenly loved. 

"What's this?" Ray queried as he accepted the plate from the kid, but he didn't remember ordering it. He was excepting something else. Cue the moodiness. 

"It's pizza with peanut butter on it like you asked," he replied, causing (y/n) to wrinkle her nose at the bizarre combination, but she let her lover have what he needed. She didn't like it, but she wouldn't let him suffer, even if he was being horrible to everyone. 

"I asked Henry to bring me Chinese food! Right, sweet girl? You remember, right?! We were going to share the noodles!" The pregnant hero whined and shouted as he dropped the pizza on the table in disgust. He craned his head back to gaze at his pretty girl, appealing to her since she'd agreed to share lunch with him like they always did, but she was shaking his head, much to his disappointment. 

"Doofus, when he didn't come back fast enough, you asked Jasper to get pizza with peanut butter on it, and you threw your boot at him, which is why I told you off," the woman replied softly, trying to withhold her need to scream and shout because it was all too overwhelming yet she couldn't find comfort in her soulmate's arms. She didn't fit. Two's company, but three's a crowd. 

"Oh..." Ray muttered as he realised she was right. He glanced down at his foot and noticed his shoe was missing, and after looking around, he saw it lying alone by the supercomputer. He did that right, and she scolded him like a mother would do to a child, proving she would make a better parent than he would. He was too soft and childish, but then again, their two halves made a whole, and they worked so well together - the perfect team put to the most challenging test. 

"I'll go find Henry. Come on, (y/n/n). He'll probably need help with the food," Jasper sighed and reached for the plate of offending food as (y/n) stood up from the couch. Henry was probably okay, but after days of his crabbiness, everyone needed a break from the hormonal man and a dose of her characteristic sweetness. 

"No, don't take my pizza and fiancée away from me!" However, Ray had other ideas. With lightning speed, his hand zipped out and stopped Jasper before he could toss the vile pizza in the trash. Similarly, he grabbed (y/n)'s wrist and refused to let go, feeling his heart lurch at the thought of her leaving because he needed her. He loved her, and if this pushed her away...he wouldn't get through it. He needed her; watching her leave made him ache more than any stupid alien baby could. 

"Well, you just said you didn't want it! And if you want Chinese food, you're going to have to let (y/n) go get it," Jasper bit back. Yelling at his boss was his first mistake, but using the words "let (y/n) go" was his second and the gravest. Ray was already in a fragile state, and he wanted his future wife where he could hold her hand, kiss her, and tell her he was so sorry for all of this, so he did the only thing his pregnant brain could think of. He used his other boot. 

"I'll go find Henry!" The kid quickly said and stomped off, annoyed that their lives now revolved around the moody man, who left his shoe alone now that he'd backed off, but he wouldn't get his way. 

"Enjoy your pizza, doof. I'm gonna get our noodles," (y/n) whispered in his ear as she rose from the couch for a second time and squeezed his shoulders, aiming to follow Jasper to try and argue on her lover's case. She knew everyone hated him right now, and trust her, no one hated this weird pregnancy more than she did, but she wanted to tell them that a normal pregnancy wasn't easy, and it wasn't like Ray was ever meant to have a child like that. He was struggling as much as them, and they needed to know that. Plus, Henry had their food, and it was past lunchtime. 

"But—but...baby...don't leave me," the man said weakly, his bottom lip trembling with the emotion only pregnancy could bring, and she smiled sympathetically. She never expected her husband to have their first child, but she was coping. Just about. 

"I'll be back before you know it, Ray." 

"Can I at least have a kiss before you go?" He asked quietly, a look of longing breaking her heart as he manoeuvred as best he could with his swollen belly. A part of her repulsed the idea of getting close to whatever unnatural thing was growing in his stomach - whatever it was, it shouldn't have been there - yet that came into conflict with her undying love for him. That's when she realised that maybe she'd been a little selfish, prioritising her fear of the unknown over caring for her doofus. This was hard for him too, and kisses always made things better. 

"Of course, doofus. Whenever you want a kiss, just ask," she smiled, growing slightly teary as she leaned down to seal their lips, and he gladly indulged in it, having felt a little lonely despite everyone around him. The universe wasn't right if things weren't normal between them, and after a few seconds where he could swipe his tongue over her bottom lip, she pulled back. 

"Let me go get us something to eat," the heroine told him gently, and this time, he smiled back. Things weren't perfect, nor as they should be, but they were still a team, which was close enough. 

"Hurry back, sweet girl."

"Always." And with that, she hurried after Jasper, who'd nobly waited in the middle of the room for them to say goodbye. God, they made it seem like Ray was going off to war or something, and (y/n) elbowed him in the ribs when he cracked a joke about how they'd see each other again someday. Leaving Ray to shove half a pizza slice in his mouth, they headed for the elevator, unaware that some people had made it their haven after one too many telling off from the groaning man. 

Without any warning, hands clamped over their mouths, and they were pulled inside, unbeknownst to Captain Man as he chowed down. The boy and woman gasped, but their unknown attackers muffled the noise as the door closed behind them, and it wasn't until they were safely inside that their identities were revealed. 

"What on Earth are you two doi—" (y/n) gasped as she braced herself against the wall and came face-to-face with Henry and Charlotte, who'd been suspiciously missing all morning, but before they could interrogate her, they shushed in her face. 

"Shhhhhhh!"

"We're hiding from Ray!" Charlotte hissed, wary that the guy would hear them since the elevator hadn't moved. The only thing protecting them from that big man-child-sized bundle of hormones was the metal door, and god knows that he'd damn near rip it off to get to his sweet girl again, especially if he found out they'd lured her away intentionally. 

"The alien pregnancy is making him crazy! You should know that (y/n/n)," Henry added solemnly, making the woman look at him and the girl flatly. They made him sound a lot worse than he was; sure, he'd made some unreasonable demands, but that was still the man she loved out there. He just had a little extra...something with him. 

"You guys are making him sound like a monster or something!" She whispered back, gesturing wildly as she defended her doofus - her instinct. "He is still the same sweet, considerate—"

"Considerate? Yeah, maybe for you..." Henry scoffed at her words, which earned him another glare because she hated how everyone took her fiancé for granted, even though he'd served the city for years. So, if the kid knew what was good for him, he'd keep his mouth shut. 

"—Loving, adorable man, who I still want to marry! Look, it's not for long. We just have to wait for this...thing to be born, and then, we never have to deal with it again. And besides, it's not like things can get much worse..."

"It's only going to get worse!" A voice came from above their heads, making Jasper and (y/n) jump when they looked up to see Schwoz halfway up the wall like a goddamn ape. How did he cling to the smooth stone wall like that? Spider-Schwoz? Maybe. He waved hello at them before dropping down, landing with a slight thud, which drew many shushes and didn't sound suspicious to Ray outside, but he was too big and too busy with his pizza to get up and investigate. 

He'd have his girl back with him soon enough—and with Chinese food. That was all he needed to think about. 

"You need to get out there!" Jasper told his best friend harshly, feeling sick to the stomach, that he'd been taking abuse all morning when Henry had been happily camping out in the elevator's safety. "Ray's furious that you haven't come back with his Chinese food yet, and now, he thinks you've taken (y/n) away to carry it all!"

"That's why I'm hiding! Well, not the (y/n) bit—thanks for that, by the way. He's going to kill me," Henry jerked his head to look at the woman dryly, who gave a slight, indifferent shrug since she knew her doofus wouldn't go that far, not when the teen was his favourite of their adopted children, and she'd be kissing and cuddling him again by that point. 

"Eh...he'll get over it once we do that thing with the noodles like in Lady and The Tramp. Y'know, slurp the noodle, and then, we get to ki—"

"The Chinese place is out of the greasy food that Ray wants! There are no noodles!" Henry exclaimed, breaking (y/n) out of her lovey-dovey daydream, where she and her doofus were snuggling on the couch like old times, swapping spring rolls and stir-fried vegetables because everything tasted better when shared. It made her smile into nothingness, but then, Henry burst her happy bubble, and she looked at him in horror at such terrible news. Oh no, Ray was in a foul mood as it was...

"Why?" Jasper asked, also horrified since they hadn't confiscated Ray's other boot. 

"There's a grease shortage!" Schwoz replied, making the boy throw his head back sceptically because that was the biggest nonsense he'd ever heard. He was the dumbest guy in the Man Cave, but even he knew that a grease shortage was impossible, mainly because you couldn't bottle grease - right?

"That's not a thing!"

"It is!" Charlotte argued, and as a Smartie, she was a reliable source, meaning this sudden news was quite a shock for (y/n) and Jasper, who'd been so busy running around after the expectant father, they hadn't tuned in to KLVY.  "Scientists figured out a way to turn restaurant grease into expensive biofuel, so now, someone's stealing the grease from every restaurant in Swellview!"

"Grrrr, scientists are the worst!" Jasper growled as he imagined a roomful of nerds with their tubes and Bunsen burners, turning everyone's lives to misery simply because they wanted to save the environment and do something as stupid as recycle. 

"Instead of the greasy Chinese food Ray likes, all I could get was this!" Henry snapped, reaching to the side and retrieving a polystyrene container. He briskly opened the lid, and (y/n) gasped when she saw the contents, not because she was offended, but because her doofus wouldn't touch it. He might vomit at the sight of those leafy greens, chopped vegetables, and a single crispy crouton. 

"A salad?! Henry, Ray's not going to eat this! It's...healthy!" She hissed at him, flicking a piece of lettuce as the kid nodded. He wasn't dumb; he knew Ray nearly as well as she did, so he was aware that he hated anything that came from the ground - save for potatoes. It was the best he could get after walking into the takeaway and realising the entire menu had been struck off, but even though he tried his best, that wouldn't be good enough for his boss. 

"I know! That's why I'm hiding in the elevator!" He replied, shivering at the thought of facing his boss's wrath, especially after being separated from (y/n) for three minutes. Ray would almost certainly kill him if he went out there, so he resigned himself to living in the elevator for the rest of eternity. Unfortunately, Captain Man was insatiably curious...and greedy for his precious fiancée. 

"Ahhh!" The group shouted when the elevator door suddenly slid open, revealing the pregnant "momster" himself. Henry, Jasper, Charlotte and Schwoz cowered behind (y/n) as Ray saw them, looking bewildered as to why his family were all in there when he was still waiting on his food. His protruding tummy entered the space before he did, and he reached out to squeeze his girl's hand in greeting since he could barely move to kiss her, meaning he could analyse the nervous lot behind her. 

"What are you guys doing in here?" He asked suspiciously, noting the lack of bags upon bags of food like Jasper had hinted. What did they need his sweet girl for again?

"I found Henry!" Jasper laughed nervously, shoving his best friend into the lion's den since it was every man for himself situation when Ray was around. Henry tripped forward, knocking into (y/n), who was also nudged forward by Charlotte because the girl knew if anyone could calm the oncoming storm, it was her. 

"And look, your beautiful fiancée! Who you love! And who loves you! Byeeeeeee!" She shouted once the woman was past the threshold, and after spamming the button a few times, the door slid shut and locked them safely inside again. That left Henry and (y/n) alone with the pregnant man, who eyed them suspiciously when his pretty girl fell into his arms from the harsh shove. 

"You okay, darlin'?" He asked in concern as she angled herself away from his tummy. As much as she hated the sight or thought of the round mass, she didn't want to hurt it or him, so she smiled at him softly and patted his pec to reassure him. Charlotte was right about one thing; she sure was beautiful, and he loved her. 

"Yeah, I'm okay, doofus. I told you I wouldn't be long."

"I missed you anyway," he grinned, leaning forward to peck her lips, and that's when he noticed what was in Henry's clammy hands. "Oh, our Chinese food! Finally!"

"Okay, yeah... I don't want you to get mad, but—" the boy began nervously, wringing his fingers together as Ray took the container and began toddling back to the couch. Upon seeing him straining and struggling to move with his aching back, (y/n) wrapped an arm around his middle and started helping her doofus walk, reverting to her caring role, even though she was just as worried about what was in the box. 

"I know, I know. I've been so terrible lately. I'm sorry—to you too, sweet girl," Ray replied graciously, not seeing the haze of betrayal around him. 

Instead, he gazed at his lover, utterly in awe of her and everything she did for him, even though she never signed up for any of it. She patted his arm and carried on, taking everything in his stride better than he ever could; although he was sure that when it came for them to have children properly, he'd worship the ground she walked on it - she'd do it with much more grace and elegance anyway. 

"It's just this alien pregnancy is making me feel all the feelings...and I know you guys all hate me, but it's not my fault. I'm trying my best and—" The hero went on, growing emotional and blubbery as his hormones got the best of him as he thought about how his family - his beloved family - rallied around him. It truly meant a lot to him, but when he cracked open the container's lid, expecting to see brown, unhealthy food, and saw the salad, his sadness turned to rage. 

"What is this, Henry?! I asked for fried food!" 

"I know, but see, they were out of—" the young sidekick tried to explain, but Ray wasn't having any of it. Even when (y/n) slid her arms around his shoulders and tittered comforting words, saying they could always get something else, he still shouted and threw a tantrum, finally getting the sense he'd been betrayed. 

"Can you not—can you not understand that?! Is that why you took my wife away from me? Because you don't understand anything?!"

"Not your wife yet, but I can understand that someone's been stealing—" Henry sighed tiredly, too emotionally drained from dealing with his dramatic boss, especially when he spun the idea that he'd dragged (y/n) kicking and screaming away from him. She was there now, right? Hanging off his shoulders, kissing his cheek and telling him to calm down. He didn't have to be such a drama queen. 

"I. WANT. REAL. CHINESE. FOOD!" However, Ray had other ideas. After each punched-out word, he threw limp salad leaves into the kid's face, but he didn't react. As much as he wanted to smack him, Henry held his nerve and wiped the Caesar dressing from his cheek, seeing (y/n) mouth "I'm so sorry" behind her lover's back. It wasn't her fault, but she'd be a widow before she even got married at this rate. 

"Raymond! Bad!" She snapped, grabbing the man's wrist before he could throw another green handful, enough to make him moodily cease firing and cast his eyes to the floor. But that brought on another problem when he saw the food all over the place, and even though he was the one who made it, that didn't stop him from telling them off. 

"This place is a mess!"

"You made it a mess! Don't be a doofus all your life, Ray!" (y/n) growled as he tossed the worthless box into the table, sending more salad flying, not that he cared. The hero was near tears at the thought of no food, his Man Cave being a pigsty, and worse still, his sweet girl was mad at him. It was all too much, something Henry could agree with. 

"B'doop!" He mumbled, echoing a text tone since he'd had enough of Pregnant Ray and this shitshow that surrounded him. (y/n) frowned at him and the odd noise he made, and when he pretended to take his phone out of his pocket, her face darkened further as if a storm cloud was forming over her head. 

"Ooh, snap. I just got a text from my pops," he said as he stared at the blank screen, acting as though he had a text, but he was a terrible actor. If he was going to try and fool them, he should've at least tried to sound like he came from the twenty-first century. 

"Yeah, Henry, the nineties called. They want their slang back. No one says, "aw, snap" anymore," she sassed, folding her arms as Ray shuffled to look at him weirdly. He leaned back into her body, seeking warmth and comfort as the teen gave them a nervous smile, looking particularly sketchy as he acted way too casual. 

"I still do. Anyway, peep this—my dad is building...a...roller skating rink in the backyard? And I have to go help him...do that?" He read out the invisible text, which was suspicious of his outdated phrases. Ray ignored his aching joints and hauled himself up from the couch - with a bit of help from his darling girl. 

"So...dude, I'm outtie five-thousand!"

"Outtie five-thousand?" Ray echoed in confusion, having not heard that phrase for twenty years or more, "you always use outdated slang when you're lying to us..."

"Pfff, that's whack! Dude, I'm giving you the straight good-good here, home-skillet," Henry scoffed as he tapped his belt, and honestly, (y/n) wasn't even sure if he was speaking English anymore. A tube fell above his head, encasing him in glass so that they couldn't get to him, and in the rebellious moment, all Ray could do was cling to his fiancée. 

"Wait, wait, Henry! Rub my feet?" He asked in a whiny voice as he stuck his tootsie out towards the boy, who took one look at his swollen ankles and decided he'd instead take a bath with a toaster. That wobbling bottom lip wouldn't work on him; he wasn't sweet or a girl. 

"I can't—gotta bizzounce! Get (y/n) to do it. Up the tube!" And with that, the boy disappeared, flying up and out of the building—as far away from the parents-to-be and the baffling situation before he was burping and bouncing a green, glowing baby. 

"He's such a little shit, sometimes," Miss Danger muttered a few seconds after he disappeared, going to move her doofus back to the couch before he strained his back again. Ray looked miserable, and she felt for him, but now, it was just the two of them, and that's when they were always at their best anyway. 

"Now, you want me to get you some decaf coffee and then, I'll rub your feet?" Once Ray plonked his butt back down, she offered, and his ensuing adoring look made her heart flutter. It wasn't much, but to him, offering to look after him was more than anyone else wanted to do, and Ray knew he couldn't love anyone else if he tried. He was being a bitch, but it didn't bother her, or if it did, she didn't let it show. 

"You'd do that for me, sweet girl?"

"Anything for you and the...thing, Ray. I'll be back in a minute," (y/n) grinned and kissed his forehead before leaving to get him a preggo-safe drink from the auto-snacker. He watched her movements with starry eyes, wondering what he did to deserve such a sweet girl, and when he shed a tear this time, it wasn't because of the pregnancy hormones. 

~A few hours later~

For a few hours, nothing much happened. Ray finally settled down after a bowl of chocolate ice cream drizzled with hot sauce and had a nap after his angel massaged his throbbing feet for half an hour. Peace returned to the Man Cave, and she didn't know even screech when she felt the...thing kicking against her palm. Schwoz joked that the baby recognised its surrogate mother's touch, but she didn't rip his head off - a remarkable feat of resilience. 

Everything was fine. And then, it wasn't. 

"Raymond, it's just an emergency call. It's not the end of the world!" (y/n) sighed as she stormed away from the supercomputer, her lover hot on her heels as Charlotte rolled her eyes. As usual, Ray was being dramatic and childish, having thrown his dummy out after a call came in about a grease robbery or something downtown. 

The robbery wasn't the issue; it was pretty straightforward, a petty crime and something the heroes usually could deal with without a problem. Normally being the critical word. Ray could barely pee without aid, so (y/n) banned him from crime-fighting, arguing that they had enough to think about on a battlefield; a heavily pregnant man would complicate matters. 

It was reasonable and rational, easy for anyone, including Charlotte, to see, but Ray deemed her practicality as prejudice. 

"Then why can't I go out and fight crime?! I'm not broken, y'know!" He asked like a child, stamping his foot and whining in her ear as he limped after her. He'd put his Captain Man suit on, ready to go out and kick ass because he was itching to take down a criminal after five days of nothing but sitting on his ass. But his sweet girl said no. Et tu, Brutus?

"Because of your...condition! I know it's hard to hear, doofus, but you can't go out and fight!" (y/n) replied exasperatedly, gesturing to his vast stomach, which had swelled even more in the last few hours with the alien inside becoming more active too. His tunic couldn't even zip up over the curve, so he had to leave it open and loose since it was tailored to fit his trim and fit torso. He was unprotected; didn't that prove her point?

"So, I have nothing to eat. I'm not allowed to do my job—is there anything I can do?!" The man cried as he took to pacing around the room, bored out of his mind after sitting and stewing for hours. He was a physical man by nature who loved action and adventure, so being cooped up made him even crabbier, if that was possible. 

"Yes. You can sit down and be quiet while I call Henry to take care of these assholes," she instructed him as she opened his abandoned salad and skewered a piece of lettuce with the shitty plastic fork. If she didn't eat it, then it would only go to waste, and that was money down the drain, so as she set up the holo-caller in front of her, she tucked in and watched as he sneered at the sight of the healthy load. 

"Come on, kid. Pick up..." she sighed as the machine took a few moments to get through to the kid, who was undoubtedly making excuses at home so he could get to the porch. Ray continued circling the room, grumbling that his back hurt, he needed to pee, or the...thing was kicking his intestines to a pulp. 

"Oh, hey, Hen!" She smiled casually once the kid finally answered, his little hologram appearing above the device in front of her. Ray scoffed at his appearance, knowing that he would get to fight crime, and he wasn't. 

"Hey, (y/n/n). What's up?" Henry smiled, too, although he was surprised to see her acting so chill when she was living with the world's grumpiest man. 

"A couple of thieves are stealing grease from that restaurant where they fry everything."

"Fry Me A River?" The kid asked, knowing several restaurants like that, but it wasn't the one he was thinking of. Honestly, he needed to get out and let off some steam; it had been a peculiar few days. 

"Nah, Grease On Earth. You've got to go stop them," she told him before eating a veggie cube, knowing that whilst it wasn't the most substantial meal, it was technically better than what she originally ordered. Henry preened at the idea of a solo mission, knowing he rarely got to go on them since Ray still treated him like a thirteen-year-old rookie, and whilst his heart was in the right place, the kid just wanted to be independent as he neared eighteen. 

"Okay—is that Ray's salad?" He nodded as Piper crept out onto the porch, having heard voices when he noticed what she was eating, recognising the cheap plastic box anywhere after he carried it to their home. He was surprised it hadn't been tossed on the floor, but then again, Ray always behaved better for her. 

"Yeah, he didn't want it, so I'm eating it. And y'know what? It's a surprisingly good salad. I'm telling you, come my wedding day, I'm going to look like Megan Fox—" she joked and went to eat another piece when a large, grumpy lump, known as Ray, came barrelling up beside her and prodded her arm roughly. 

"I said I didn't want any salad, sweet girl!" He whined, trying to shove the box out of her hands, so she had no choice but to put it on the table whilst he pined for her attention. He was ready to pop, and the kids on the porch gasped at the size of him, Piper not knowing where to look as she took in his enormous bump. She didn't want to jump to conclusions, but someone had had one too many hamburgers. 

"I know, doofus! That's why I was eating it!" She chastised him, flicking bits of dropped salad back into the container so she'd have something to eat. His pregnancy brain was getting worse, and she knew the go-time was close at hand - the moment she'd been dreading. 

"I don't even know why you're eating it! It's disgusting, and you'll be beautiful on our wedding day either way," he mumbled, scuffing his boot against the tiles as he grew misty-eyed at the thought of their big day. Oh god, it made him want to cry, thinking about her in white, floating down the aisle before he promised to love her forever and a day, but something caught his eye. And heavens above, it was fried.

"Ooh, is that a crouton?" And they say romance is dead. 

"Whoa...Captain Man got double-c thick!" Piper exclaimed as she stared at the man's hologram. Seeing him shove the crouton in his mouth after picking it up from the floor was weird, but seeing him so fat was weirder, given how much (y/n) rambled about his love for the gym. Oh, what she didn't know. 

"Uh, for your information, I'm not double-c thick. I'm capital P-regnant!" Ray told her haughtily, and the girl's eyes practically fell out of her head. Her gaze snapped to (y/n), who had to close her eyes and take a deep breath before carrying on; she'd never gotten used to hearing that disturbing phrase. 

"You're pregnant?! (y/n), what's going on?!"

"He ate an alien egg. It's growing inside of him. We're about to have a...thing as our first child—this is my life now!" The woman replied flatly as she tossed the remaining food around with the fork since the changing conversation had made her lose her appetite. She'd gotten used to the pregnancy just about, but knowing that the living...thing would come out of her fiancé still made her skin crawl. 

Yeah, he's being kind of a gunch about the whole thing," Henry added, much to Ray's offence as he heard him. He should try giving birth when he wasn't supposed to; they'd see who was a gunch. 

"What did you say about me?"

"Hmmm?" But as usual, the boy played it cool, and Ray didn't have the energy or patience to press it further. He slowly chewed the last crumbs of the crouton, glaring at his lucky sidekick as he cradled his bump, and (y/n) sighed at the mess she found herself in. 

"Grease heist. Clocking ticking..."

"Right, on my way!" Henry nodded and clicked his fingers, knowing that criminals tend not to hang around after doing something illegal, and he was about to snap his watch shut when Ray stepped forward, fully intent on defying his sweet girl and going out there to help the kid. He was still indestructible and had his super stretchy maternity pants on, so he would be fine—well, he had the determination, at least. 

"All right, kid. I'll meet you there."

"Raymond, we have discussed this. You're pregnant, you're not going, and that's the end of it," (y/n) barked at him, latching onto his arm in a bid to keep him where it was safe—where he was away from any journalists, but the hero had other ideas. 

"I'm a grown man, and I'll do what I—-arghhhh!" He snapped back, but before he could finish his argument, a stab of pain streaked through his stomach, taking control of his body and forcing him to double over to try and stop it. Immediately, (y/n) lost all of her fights and had her hand on his back, supporting him through whatever was wrong with him, although she had a clue. 

"Oh, big guy, you okay?"

"Doofus, what's wrong?" She and Henry asked, equally concerned as he gritted his teeth and panted, holding his belly with a scrunched-up face. 

"Ahhh! My stomach's killing me! I knew I shouldn't have eaten that stupid salad!" He whimpered, rubbing his bump as Charlotte glanced over from the computer, looking worried. (y/n) didn't have to be a doctor to know what was going on, but she gulped down her terror and remained calm, thinking her panic would only make him worse if she told him that being pregnant was nothing compared to suddenly not being pregnant. 

"You ate one floor crouton, you big doofus!" She told him breezily, hoping her soft and friendly tone would help keep him sweet, but then, Schwoz popped up out of nowhere - like the loitering creature he was - and as always, he brought the good news that didn't undo all of her hard work. 

"It's not the floor crouton," he told her as she stroked Ray's back, and the genius laid his ear against her lover's belly to hear whatever lurked inside. 

"You're in labour! You're about to give alien birth!" He gasped, but Ray didn't care what he said as he was hit with another contraction, this one stronger than the last, as the labour quickly ramped up. She'd known what was coming all along, but all the same, (y/n) felt her head woozy at the news, and she wobbled for a second or two before her super-regeneration kicked in. 

She never fainted. Her brain always recovered from the drop in blood pressure before the blackout hit, so even though the news made her want to die, she had to live through the moment and support her fiancé because that's what he'd do if it were her. 

"Well, isn't that just spit-on-your-neck, kick-you-in-the-crotch fantastic?" She grinned sourly and huffed a bitter laugh, knowing that she was about to become sort of wicked stepmother or something. Ray whimpered and turned to rest his forehead on her shoulder, feeling like he was about to drop a bowling ball—something he couldn't do. Seriously, how did women do this?

"This is amazing..." Piper smirked as she took out her phone and hit record, wanting to save the mind-boggling moment forever. She'd never share it, but if she ever needed a good laugh, she could always look back on the video, especially when Ray looked up from his girl's sweet-smelling hair and saw his shame being caught on camera. 

"Don't look at me!" He snapped before hiding his face in (y/n)'s neck again, which left Schwoz to delegate since he knew what was about to happen. It was all his fault, and the woman made a mental note to kill him once this was all over. 

"Charlotte, go get some towels. Jasper, put on some Cardi B. (y/n), keep supporting Ray. We're having an alien baby!" He chuckled, earning a slap on the head from the woman since she didn't find any of this exciting or interesting, not even as a learning opportunity. She wanted to hide under her bedsheets until it was all over and then curl up and cry into her doofus' shoulder when he was okay again. But no, that wasn't possible, and neither was the possibility of her going out to help Henry take down those thieves. 

"Look, Hen, I'm sorry, but you'll have to handle those thieves yourself. I've got to help the daddy-to-be."

"No problem. I got a great entrance line, and I'm going to walk right up to them and say, you probably think you're so..."

"Argggh!" Henry sighed when Ray screeched in pain again, interrupting what would've impressed him had he not been incapacitated. Still, at least he wasn't (y/n), who had the impossible task of controlling her man-child as he breathed through the pain before lunging forward to grab Schwoz by the collar. 

"You did this to me!" He shouted at the poor man, who cringed at his bad breath after eating the garlicky crouton. However, Ray had a point, and Schwoz cowered under his and his fiancée's glares as they pinned the blame on him, knowing that if he hadn't left those poxy "lychees" lying around, then none of this would've happened. What would he do if this chink broke the couple up? Huh? Henry would have his head. 

"Okay, I'll say it when I get there..." The kid sighed, and with that, the holocall ended, leaving his family to deal with Ray and whatever was about to come out of him. 

"I have a birthing chair set up over there!" Schwoz told (y/n) as Charlotte hurried into the room with about fifteen towels of various shapes, colours and sizes since she didn't know what type a birth needed. Save for a few biology lessons. She knew very little about what was about to happen, so she looked to (y/n), who was deathly pale, slightly sweaty but still holding it together, even if she cringed at the "birthing chair".

"Right, fine. Char, come help me with the patient," she grunted as the genius scampered away to go and prepare for the long road ahead, meaning she had to take his entire weight on her own, which wasn't easy when he was shouting every curse word under the sun. The girl did as she was told and ran to throw Ray's other arm over her shoulders so that they could get him and his temper across the room. 

Her humour was intact; that was a good thing, and Charlotte smiled slightly at her sarcasm until Ray opened his big mouth. 

"Come on! I want this thing out of me! I want my body back!" Ray snarled, even glaring at his precious girl as they dragged him across the room when all he wanted to do was curl up on the floor and die. He missed normality and doing the things he loved, like having his sweet girl practically laying on him when they slept, drinking proper coffee, moving without hurting, peeing less than a million times a day, needing someone to put his socks on, and, most importantly, having a happy, uncomplicated life with his fiancée. 

He wanted to wake up and do grown-up things with her without worrying about lumps and bumps getting in the way. He wanted to walk - not waddle - in a room and see her light up at the sight of him, not light up and dim when her eyes drifted to his...condition. He wanted to take off his shirt and feel attractive again because it freaked her out right now—he knew it did. He wanted to wait a few years until they were settled for a family, as they'd discussed at midnight. He just wanted to forget this ever happened. 

"This is not okay! Do you hear me?!"

"Yes, we hear you, Ray. Stop yelling!" 

"Yeah, doofus. Everything's going to be okay," the girls tried to comfort him, but what should've taken two seconds felt like ten years as they guided him to the chair, which seemed like a mile away when he dragged his heels and kept barking orders at them. 

"None of this is okay! I want to hit someone!"

"Hit Schwoz! He got us into this mess," (y/n) said, not caring whether he did it since she wholeheartedly believed the genius deserved it. Him and his stupid, nonexistent labels on jars. 

"Fine, I'll hit Schwoz!" Ray growled, listening to her through the pain since she made him feel safe, so he uncurled his arm from Charlotte's shoulder, much to the girl's relief, and clumsily aimed at the small man as they neared the birthing chair. Luckily for Schwoz, Ray was dizzy and blinded by the contractions, so he had plenty of time to duck before the mighty fist hit him, sending the hero into a spin that ultimately landed him in the chair. 

"Well, that was easy," (y/n) noted, and she felt better knowing he was in the right place. Wanting his comfort and health above everything, she turned to get her doofus some ice chips from the auto-snacker since that's what they always did on medical TV shows when the expectant mother got thirsty, but the moment she turned her back on him. Ray cried out for her return. 

"Please, (y/n), don't leave me! I can't do this alone," He begged, his hand flying out to grab her elbow as he assumed she was going to leave him to get on with it. He understood; he didn't want her to see him like this either, but the thought of going through alien birth of all things without her made his heart bleed. If he'd ever needed her, the time was now, and he sniffed at her wide eyes, thinking he had disgusted her. 

'Don't worry, darlin'. I disgust me too.'

"I'm not going anywhere, Ray. We're in this together," she assured him, rushing back to his side to clutch his hand. He could squeeze hers as hard as he wanted - and he did when another contraction wracked his body - because she wanted him to know that whilst this was probably the weirdest thing they'd ever do, he wasn't alone. He'd never be alone for as long as she lived. 

"I—I love—-ah, ah—can't you guys give me anything for the pain?!" He whimpered as he writhed in agony, wanting to get those three little words out for the woman who refused to give up on him, but it was just too much. 

"Doofus, don't you remember? Your densitised skin has bent every needle in the Man Cave every time we've tried," (y/n) soothed him, stroking his forehead as she recalled all the occasions Schwoz wanted to take blood for tests or administer vaccines and vitamins for the birth. None of them was sharp or strong enough to puncture his body, leading to a lot of flexible needles left in her first aid kit and a very whiny doofus. 

"Hey! I got the gummy-worm cheeseburger you wanted," Jasper announced as he arrived in the room with some good news. He'd been in the kitchen for god knows how long creating one of Ray's food-craving abominations, and Ray wanted the mishmash of flavours more than anything right now. Just something to take his mind off what was happening to him. 

"Oh, thank you, my sweet boy," the hero sighed, reaching for the bizarre burger as (y/n) bit back a smug smile. She didn't care that that was his name for her, mainly because he used it on Jasper. Not Henry or even Schwoz, but Jasper - the child he swore he hated. Curly was pretty sweet, and with a proud, touched face, he went to hand his boss the sandwich, only for Schwoz to slap it out of his hand. 

"No, you can't eat that!" The bitch. 

"Noooooooo! Whyyyyyyy?!" Ray cried as his sweet and salty snack splattered across the floor, meaning he couldn't eat it, not when his darling girl banned him from any more floor food. Was he not allowed one small comfort? They groaned and grumbled when he wanted to make out with his sweet girl, so he opted for a different taste sensation. Was that not enough?

"Because, normally, this alien baby would burst out of your stomach, but since your indestructible...there's only two ways for it to exit out your body," Schwoz explained, causing everyone to grimace as they pictured two exit holes on Ray's body. One north, one south, and the latter didn't bear thinking about. 

"I'm guessing it will come out of your mouth."

"Thank god for that," (y/n) muttered. She didn't like either option, but she was confident Ray wouldn't show his face to anyone for a year if an alien came out of his...so she steeled herself for what was about to come, namely a mutant creature crawling up his oesophagus. 

"But what if it doesn't come out of his mouth?" Jasper asked, appearing as the moron of the moment as he didn't read between the lines like everyone else, which made Schwoz pause for a moment. There was no delicate way to put it, and there were ladies in the room. 

"Well..."

"I'm out of here!" Charlotte declared, making a beeline for the elevator. She could do many things, but watching an alien baby drop from her boss's ass was not one of them. However, in a surprising twist, (y/n) called out for her, wanting her at his and Ray's side during this difficult time. She needed support and couldn't find it from any of the guys.

"No, no, Charlotte, please. Please don't leave me! You're the only normal one here!"

"Yeah. That's why I'm leaving," the girl replied as her friend gazed at her desperately, knowing she'd go insane if she couldn't talk to someone about what she was going through. Ray was incapacitated. Schwoz was to blame. Jasper tried his best, but he was like a goldfish. Charlotte was the only option without Henry or Piper - girl code?

"No, no, no! If I have to watch my doofus give birth, then I want someone to hold my hand too! So, what do you want?" (y/n) said bravely, swallowing her pride as she prepared to buy the girl's support, even if it meant flexing her doofus' wallet and patience a little bit. She rarely did it, so he didn't mind, and the girl was all ears. 

"Hmm? Name your price. Ray and I will...we'll give you a raise! The Man-Copter! You can have whatever you want, no questions asked, and no whining from him!"

"I'll take a raise," Charlotte shrugged, liking the idea of a few more dollars per hour than a helicopter she couldn't fly. Whilst she loved watching the man who made her job difficult squirm, she wasn't cruel, so against her better judgement, she'd stay for the mother-to-be. Or whatever (y/n) was about to become. 

"Done!" And with that, she walked over to the woman's side, squeezing her shoulder on the way past as she asked Schwoz what she could do to help. Meanwhile, Jasper eyed the expectant couple curiously, seeing how easy it was for his friend to get more money when he was on a mere pittance. 

"I'm outta here too!" He said suspiciously as he inched toward the elevator, hoping they would whine and beg for him to come back. Bribery was shameful, but he was shameless, but when Ray spun in the birthing chair, he saw who it was and made a quick decision. 

"See ya!" Ray said quickly before refocusing on his sweet girl and the rapidly approaching arrival. Jasper's face fell when they chattered about anything but him leaving, and he realised he didn't want to go properly. The appearance of their first child was supposed to be the happiest moment of their lives, something he wouldn't miss for the world, even if he weren't very subtle. 

"Okay, fine. I'll stay."

"Schwoz, you got to get this thing out of me. We've got to go help Henry! He could be in trouble," Ray grunted as his tummy began feeling funny. It was like the...thing was wriggling up through his intestines, going the opposite way it should've done - at least how he expected - and he was sure he would be split in two. He'd never felt pain like it and squeezed his fiancée's fingers so hard; he swore he heard a crunch. Bless her, though; she didn't make a fuss, guided his breathing and tried to rest his worrying mind. 

"Don't worry, sweetheart. He's a smart kid, and he knows what he's doing. Let's focus on you, yeah?"

"Listen to your lady fiancée," Schwoz nodded at (y/n)'s words, who frowned at his bizarre bedside manner, but more so when she glanced his way and saw the terrifying grabber forceps things he was holding. They were huge, primed to pounce and pull the alien baby out, but they also looked like torture devices—her poor doofus. 

"Now, open your mouth and say, ahhhhh!"

"Ahhhhh!" Ray screamed when he saw the torture device, feeling his stomach drop at the thought of it being shoved or stuck in him somewhere. Or perhaps that was his baby moving around. All he knew was he had his sweet girl by his side, and she wasn't going anywhere - thank god for that. Things were about to get weird. 

~

"You're doing well, doofus. Don't give up now—breathe easy...or as well as you can," (y/n) dithered as she cheered her lover on from the sidelines, but she had to admit; this was the weirdest shit she'd ever seen. Her heart lurched at the sight of Ray's bump as it swelled impossibly bigger, but that wasn't the issue. 

She'd seen documentaries and dramas on TV. She knew childbirth wasn't the prettiest or cleanest thing in the world. But dear god, if anyone told her she'd have to watch her future husband give birth through his mouth, she wouldn't punch them. It was terrifying - and now she knew why fathers fainted in the waiting room. 

Watching the bump move and pulsate was weird, but watching as the creature inside began its journey north damn near killed her. Like something from a horror movie, it crawled from Ray's lower intestine to his upper stomach and further. When they thought it would stop, it didn't - as per Schwoz's prediction, and (y/n) nearly threw up as her doofus' throat bulged and wriggled as the thing struggled to get out. 

"I see one of the baby's arms!" Schowz gasped as he peered down the man's frog-like throat, having laid Ray on his back to make it easier. Jasper and Charlotte stood by his feet, the girl supportively holding (y/n)'s hand as she paled at the genius' words. 

"What do you mean one of?" She asked worriedly as her lover moaned and groaned from the pain in his neck, but hey, at least his perfect abs were back. Maybe it was naïve, but she'd always imagined the alien baby as like a little Martian or something - something vaguely human-shaped but with green skin or red eyes, which would possibly be easier to accept. However, Schwoz made it sound weird because normal babies only have two - why didn't it sound like that?

"Only eleven more to go!" Of course, it had eleven. Why not? It could also have three heads and seventeen legs to make her have a coronary and an aneurysm. 

"Just get this fucking...thing out of him before I kill you, Schwoz!" (y/n) snapped, her patience wearing thin now she had a horrifying picture in her head, and a pathetic moan from her doofus made it worse. He was in pain, and it was all Schwoz's fault; the least he could do was deliver the alien so she could...step on it. She could live with a green baby, but not one with eleven arms - they'd never find a school to take it. 

"Yeah, I want to see an alien baby!" Jasper exclaimed, too, although he was trembling for a very different reason. That wasn't his soulmate on the slab, so he wasn't worried—more like shaking with trepidation at the thought of seeing a real-life creature from another planet. 

"It's stuck! I can't get it out!" The small man grunted as he shoved his fingers down Ray's gullet to try and prise the alien from his lower throat - as seen by the ever-growing bulge there - but it shrank away from his fingers. It knew that something was after it and wanted to stay in Ray like a cuckoo in the nest, which was incredibly distressing for (y/n) to watch. 

"Pull harder!" Charlotte told him, rubbing the woman's back as she was forced to take a step back, so the doctor had enough room to operate. Her hands were clamped over her mouth and nose in a prayer-like lattice as if she was trying to smother her sobs and plead for mercy from whichever demon cursed them like this. 

"Come over and help me!" Schwoz ordered them, fed up with all the shouting and curse words directed at him, and no sooner than he said it, they...stayed where they were. 

(y/n) swore she'd have nothing to do with the disturbing process, merely that she'd hold Ray's hand and nothing more, and even though she wanted it out more than anyone, save for the hero himself, she refused to put her hands anywhere near those tentacles. His head was spinning from the lack of oxygen, and he knew he'd need a twelve-hour nap after this. 

"Not a chance. I'm not going near that thing."

"Fine. I have another idea," the handyman sighed and pulled up his gloves as Ray gagged and he switched to plan B. This was going to get messy. "Hold onto your leechees..."

"It's pronounced lychees—" Jasper advised him, much like Henry and (y/n) did days earlier when the whole mess started, but Schwoz wasn't listening. 

In a sudden yet brilliant move, he leaned over and sat the chair up at a blinding speed. The rapid change in velocity meant Ray's body lurched forward, sending the creature in his throat hurtling out into a bright, strange, new world in the blink of an eye, leaving him as indestructible as ever, (y/n) overwhelmed at the relief that instantly flooded her body and Jasper...with the alien on his face. 

He said he wanted to see a real-life alien, and he couldn't get a closer look than that. 

"Aw, it's so cute," Schwoz cooed as Jasper, and the girls screamed, obviously seeing something different to them since the...thing on his face was terrifying. Eleven pink tentacles writhed across the boy's face as the jade-coloured body clamped to his nose, a million red eyes taking in the room it was born in. It was small and covered in a thick mucus that made it hard for Jasper to grab, so it stayed stuck to him, even as he clawed to get it off before its sharp, wide mouth ate him. 

"Cute?! Are we looking at the same alien?! That...thing is—it's a monster!" (y/n) choked on her saliva as she wrapped an arm around her doofus, eyes glued to the creature that had spewed from her lover, who looked around dopily as his head cleared for the first time in days. 

"And I am o-kay!" He groaned and got to his feet as his indestructibility made the pain fade within seconds, and he'd never felt so light on his feet when he slid out of the birthing chair. His beautiful stomach was flat again, his back didn't hurt, his ankles weren't swollen, and better still, he wasn't feeling crabby. However, the best thing had to be the teary girl helping him up, looking so perfect with her tear-stained cheeks and tousled hair. 

As he slid into her embrace and her hand rested on his cheek, marvelling at how handsome he was, the tubes beeped and dropped, signalling Henry's return. The mission had gone well, thanks to Piper, and despite a few bumps in the road, the grease heist had been thwarted, meaning they could celebrate the new, hideous arrival with some sorely needed food. 

"Hey, I got Chinese food!" The kid announced once he landed, looking across the room and seeing several things that baffled him. 

First, he saw that Ray was no longer pregnant since his tunic was still unzipped and showing his deliciously toned body, which was a massive relief. Second, he noted how (y/n) was smiling brighter than she had done in days, her arms curled around her fiancé's waist as they turned and walked towards him with their love stronger than ever. Nothing unusual there, and he didn't even mind when Ray pulled her into a mad, passionate, tongue-filled kiss and gently squeezed her butt. 

They deserved it after so much suffering, but seeing a weird, green, snarling blob on his best friend's face shocked him, and that was hard to do after so many years in the Man Cave. What was that...thing?

"Oh, yes, I'm starving!"

"Me too, doofus. I want some of those noodles," the couple grinned and headed for the couch, still wrapped up in each other as Charlotte and Schwoz joined them, and the kid placed the bag on the table. 

The alien was old news now the food had arrived, and Ray had so much to catch up on anyway. He was going to do the noodle-kiss thing with his sweet girl, he was going to drag her to the showers after, and he was going to let her use his body as a mattress when they went to bed - highly needed after lacking his soulmate for so many days. 

"Whoa, what's on Jasper's face?" Henry asked with a deep frown on his features as his friend shrieked and scrambled for safety, but the green blob wouldn't let go. Ray didn't seem particularly bothered as he hovered over his sweet girl and ripped open the takeaway bag, hoping he could serve her a plateful as any protector and provider should, especially when she'd pandered to his every whim in the last week. 

"That is our son," he replied, patting (y/n)'s shoulder as she shuddered at the idea of mothering a squealing, rabid creature that liked to eat people's faces.

"Aw, congrats."

"Don't rub it in, Hen," she rolled her eyes as Ray handed her a carton of chop suey, and the boy giggled at her mortified expression. Neither she nor Ray looked particularly bothered about the alien, so he guessed that Schwoz would adopt it as one of his many insane pets. Speaking of the mad scientist, he studied the alien as it terrorised the boy in front of them and came to a startling conclusion. 

"I think it's a girl..." he corrected, although no one was quite sure how he could tell. 

"That is our daughter," Ray quickly corrected, which was much worse—nothing at all like the little girl he'd imagined in his dreams. It didn't have her (y/c/e) for a start. 

Henry choked back a laugh as (y/n) glowered at the creature, looking like she wanted to put it in the toilet and flush, and he couldn't help himself. Seeing the couple most suited to being parents in the world shuddering at the idea was just so funny. 

"Aw, congrats."

"We are never speaking of this again," the woman told him sternly, pointing a sharp chopstick under his nose as Ray squeezed her shoulder and gave her a soft smile. Some things are better left untouched and unsaid.

Henry didn't press the matter; instead, he laughed into his stir-fry and began narrating some epic tale about how he took down two grease thieves single-handedly...with a bit of help from his baby sister. Everyone listened eagerly, ignoring the alien on Jasper's face since it wasn't meant to be. 

One day, mini Manchesters would run riot everywhere because Ray wanted an army of kids and (y/n) wanted that too. They'd have a cute house, a cute dog, and a table big enough to seat fifty since they'd have the big family they'd always wanted - a peaceful life in a quiet spot where their real and adopted children would always have a place to stay, no matter where they drifted in life. They'd make sure they had a home and a hot meal to return to. 

Yeah, Ray and (y/n) would make great parents. After all, they'd already had five years of experience.

[pacifymebby]

t r o u b l e / chapter twenty one

Chapters

Sonya

There were safe rooms in several locations at the house but the one John had bundledveveryone into was hidden at the back of the wardrobe in Tommy's bedroom. I tried not to hurry with little Kitty in my arms, not wanting to scare her anymore than she already was.

"Daddy come too!" She kept repeating as if she knew that we were taking her some place to hide because there was something we needed to hide from.

"Daddy's gonna come later twinkle," I hushed her as gently as I could, doing my best to hide my own nerves as I followed Esme into Tommy's bedroom, glancing every couple seconds over my shoulder to check that Bonnie was still with us.

I felt a spark of shame in me when Esme turned to us over her shoulder and said something in Romani to Kitty which made Bonnie chuckle, his smirk fond as he looked between mother and daughter. I didn't understand what she'd said because I'd been away from home for too long. I'd never thought it mattered until now but as I sensed the quiet understanding pass between Bonnie and Esme I felt a sadness creep over me. Wished I could know what they knew.

Kitty reached up for my hair, her little fingers clutching a long lock which had fallen loose and dried in a tangled curl. I'd changed out of my wet clothes into a pair John's pyjamas and his old sweater but my hair was still damp and I knew that my lips were still a little blue from the cold night.

But when I stopped in the safe room doorway it wasn't the cold which struck my expression. It was a sudden fear. Because the door could only be unlocked through facial recognition. John's, Arthur's or Tommy's. If something happened to John tonight that little room would no longer be our sanctuary but our cage instead.

"Try not to be scared," said Bonnie quietly, his hand hovering besides mine, his fingers skimming mine for a moment before he changed his mind. Before he tapped Kitty on the nose and spoke to her instead. "Don't worry about your daddy eh little miss Shelby, he's got the best boxer in the country lookin after him," he said with a grin, putting his fists up and letting her box him with her tiny hands until she smiled and waved goodbye.

But before he left he paused again, leaning in the door frame, his eyes lingering on me. His voice quiet enough when he spoke that it couldn't be heard by the others over the sound of Esme's mumbled rosary prayer.

"Try not to be scared," he said again, "talkin to you miss gray," he said adding the clarification with a cheeky glint in his eyes, his hand reaching out to me suddenly, fingers delicately lifting the frail silver chain I wore around my neck, balancing the tiny plate of my miraculous medal on his finger tip before letting it fall back against my heart. "You'll be fine."

And when I frowned, chewing my cheek about to ask what about him he just smiled, hooked his fingers beneath the gold chain he wore around his own neck to show me his st Christopher.

"And so will I," he said with a quick smile before he shut the door locked on us and left us to sit with nothing but waiting on our minds.

Kitty's little face crumpled the moment he was gone, her bottom lip trembling as she looked up at me with big watery eyes. I could tell she was about to cry again and as I bounced her gently, trying to keep her hushed so that she wouldn't upset the other littlens, I found myself panicked, looking to Esme for help. But Esme had two of her lads in her lap and a baby in her arms and I knew that me and Kitty were in this together for the duration.

"You heard what Bonnie said didn't you twinkle," I said quietly, tickling her cheek to spark a little giggle from her as she shied away from me.

Ada shuffled up, hugged her knees up to her chest, Karl sitting in her lap despite being a little too big for that now. He was already asleep, head resting on her shoulder, long eyelashes long and dark so that he looked particularly sweet as he sleep.

She offered me a small smile but her eyes were full of worry and I knew that any argument she'd put up when John had tried to rush her inside, had been fuelled by fear rather than irritation. That was the way Ada's temper worked, it was the way most Shelby women worked and it made me wonder why I wasn't the same. Why fear didn't spark an adrenaline rush stubborn streak in me. Why it brought tears to my eyes and left me meek and shivery instead.

Seemed like everyone else in this family chose fight,felt like I was the only one who ever settled with flight.

"Daddy," whimpered Kitty, her long lashes beaded with tears.

Esme spoke up again, her hushed Romani lost on me, my eyes flickering a little sadly around the room. The children seemed to understand and Polly shook her head with a small smirk on her lips. Even Ada seemed to listen in and know. So it was just me, left feeling further from my family than ever.

"It's a joke," said Polly, her dark eyes meeting mine, I couldn't tell whether she spoke with sympathy or judgement, "she's tellin her they're more scared of John than she is of them,"

"Like spiders," said Esme her voice soft, worn out and heavy hearted. Still she managed a small smile, thin but there.

"Oh," I said with an awkward smile of my own.

But little Kitty still looked lost and when she began to look as though she were about to start crying again Esme closed her eyes for a moment, uttering the quietest of prayers.

"Why don't you let your aunty Sonya plait your hair how she does for her dancin Kitty," she said offering her daughter a warmer smile, her eyes asking me quietly to help her.

"She'll make you a star," said Pol with a warm smile directed at the little girl, her eyes glowing with tenderness.

Little Kitty didn't seem too sold, chewing her cheek, glancing nervously back at the locked door.

"The brightest star in the whole sky," I said sitting down and patting my lap for her, "and when I'm done you can show daddy," I said feeling a twist of discomfort because I knew I couldn't possibly know whether I was telling her the truth or dangling false hope before her.

But John had told me this was just precaution. They had no reason to really believe we were in any kind of danger. Tommy had been so convinced I was lying to him, so convinced that Sylvie had runaway and I was covering for her that he couldn't possibly have really believed the Italians had anything to do with it. Unless he'd really lost all trust in me. Unless he really did believe I'd choose Freddie Sabini and his family over my own.

Then again I'd spent so long trying to pretend I wasn't Shelby, trying to shrug off my roots like a dirty shirt that I couldn't really blame him for suspecting it. Perhaps I really had strayed too far. Perhaps in my own way, without ever realising it, I had sold my family down the river to the Italians. After all, I knew more of their language than my own now. The thought left me with a nauseous lump in my throat I had to concentrate to ignore as Kitty sat down and I began splitting her noisy brown hair with my fingers.

I didn't look up for a long time, concentrating on holding the plaits tight but not so taut that they hurt her. When I did look up however it was because I could feel someone watching me.

Aunt Pol was gazing at me, knowing eyes dark with an instinctive wisdom, a wry knowledge. As if she could see something in me that I couldn't.

"Fen," she said, "think about your sister and take three cards,"

I looked up at her and then down at Kitty's plaits realising that I was going to have to take mine out to tie hers.

"I already told Tommy everythin I know," I said a little apprehensive to touch that deck. I'd seen it tell people things before, things they didn't want to hear.

"Aye but this isn't about what you know Fen, it's about what they know about you..."

I tied the first of Kitty's french plaits with the elastic band I'd tugged from my own plait, my unruly hair beginning to uncurl and come undone the second I let it out.

"Alright," I sighed giving her half a smile, giving in. I hesitated before I took the first card realising that I didn't know what to do. Feeling so out of place with them in my hands. How was I supposed to ask the cards about my sister? Was I supposed to say something to them? Did I need to close my eyes?

"Just take the card Fen it isn't rocket science," she smirked shaking her head, "y'know when you were a little girl you were always askin me to teach you to read cards," she said trailing off when I drew three. I knew what she'd been about to say, knew how that sentence ended. With a 'now look at you' which would have broken my heart.

"Alright show them to me," she said taking them one by one and spreading them on the floor in front of her. I tried to hide my own curiosity, afraid somehow to show my own interest in her reading, instead focussing on Kitty's hair.

When Polly leant over the cards little Kitty leant forward too, stretching so far she almost toppled out of my lap and I had to wrap my arm around her waist to keep her still.

I wanted Polly to be quick, for her to draw her conclusions and break the suspense but instead she seemed subdued concentrating hard. I could tell she was trying to hold back the dark mood brewing around her.

"What is it?" Asked Ada stretching her neck to get a view herself.

Esme leant over too and as her dark eyes flickered over the spread she too seemed to bristle, suddenly concentrating on holding back a frown.

"You were thinking of your sister when you picked them?" Asked Pol looking at me with a flash of concern in her eyes, one I understood because of all the things I'd tried to forget about my family, the cards were one I hadn't been able to.

I could read them just about by myself and I knew that they were a strange set of cards to have drawn for Sylvie.

"Uhuh," I said looking back at Pol trying to read her mind, trying to get her to read mine so that she'd understand why my voice shook. So that she'd know I really hadn't been lying to them before.

"The whole time?"

"I uh.. I think so yeah, I..."

"They're twins Pol, they can't seperate from eachother completely," said Esme, her eyes fixed on the cards too, glowing with a troubled fascination, "not really..."

"No," hummed Polly taking the cards one by one.

The first, the hanged man in reverse.

I'd asked the cards where my sister was and drawn three cards. A past a present and a future.

"I drew the same card five times," said Polly with a grim smile, "so someone's been making impulsive decisions... You or your sister?"

I bit my lip thinking over my own actions, the ones which had lead us here. I couldn't answer her one way or the other and she knew it.

They could have been meaning me, the impulses which had driven me into the arms of Freddie Sabini, the instinctual attraction, the way I'd known I was getting into something bad the first time I'd let him kiss me... The way I hadn't cared, chasing the high his affection and approval gave me. Acting without thinking of the greater consequences, choosing only to try and satisfy my own desires. The way Polly was smirking at me then I knew she could read my thoughts just by looking at my face. The way I chewed my cheek. The way my thumb hovered by my lips when I tried to think.

"Twins," she said tsking and shaking her head, "fuckin twins..."

I tried to concentrate on plaiting Kitty's hair, threading her pretty long locks between and under and through one another carefully. But when Polly's fingers danced over the second card I felt myself bristle.

"The Empress," she said glancing to me but only for a fleeting second. Looking down quickly, "usually I'd say the cards were smiling on the woman who draws this card," she said turning it over in her hand, the way she trailed off left me feeling a little sick. Her eyes darting back to me as she spoke, "a card of abundance, fertility, new business deals..."

"Perhaps she's gone to London," I said without thinking, feeling a cutting guilt in my chest a sting on my tongue when I realised what I'd done. If I was right, if she had gone to visit Mr Solomons at his bakery like she'd wanted Tommy to do, then I'd betrayed her exactly as she'd worried I would.

"To London?" Asked Ada blinking to wake herself. She looked uncomfortable under the weight of her growing boy and her eyes had drifted shut but she hadn't really been sleeping. She looked sore, her pale features more worn out that usual.

"Fen..." Said Polly her gaze intensifying, the air around her bristling with a static, "why would you think that?" She asked, "what's in London?"

Though it wasn't a question of what, more a question of who and when I looked at the final card in her reading I realised I'd been tricked by them, that they'd drawn the answer out of me, sly as they could sometimes be, and that though the future portrayed in that final card might have been only vague, an uncertainty before, the answer I gave now would see it come true.

Two of Cups, reversed. A split between two halves. A trust that was once strong, broken. A division which runs deep.

"Who's in London Fen?" Asked Polly again but I shook my head not wanting to break that trust between my sister and I. Knowing that if I spoke again I would.

"No secrets Fen come on this is important she could be in danger!" Said Ada sitting forward trying to implore me though I could feel myself shrinking away from them all, hiding behind Kitty like a coward as I finished her hair and picked her up showing her off to the room, changing the subject in such an infuriating way that I could feel the glare from Ada burning into the back of my head. Could see the darkness brewing in Polly as she tried to calm her temper.

But they didn't say a word. All of us knowing that for as long as we were locked in that safe room, there was nothing we could do to help Sylvie. All we could do was wait for John to return.

I sat quietly whispering to Kitty, doing my best to settle her so that she would drift off to sleep like her brothers and sisters.

Polly shuffled her cards and drew again but this time she didn't show any of us the card she'd been given. Didn't look up, concentrating solely on the card in her hand, arching her body away from the rest of us so that nobody could see it over her shoulder. As I watched her I felt the others watching me.

Esme's eyes dark and curious. Her tired eyes drooping closed as the night dragged on, the silence outside leaving us in the dark and feeling lonely.

Ada fixed me with cold eyes, as if she were trying to read my mind or perhaps, more simply, intimidate me into crumbling and revealing the secret I wasn't even sure Sylvie wanted me to keep.

Kitty looked up at me too, her doe eyes fixed on me, looking to me for comfort, for a kind of nurture I wasn't sure came naturally to me. A kind of motherly gentleness I'd longed to be capable of but wasn't sure how to give.

And then there was Polly, shuffling her cards and drawing, shuffling her cards and drawing. Muttering to herself every now and then. Occasionally stealing glances over her shoulder at me. Her eyes on me made me feel strange, like I wasn't quite in possession of myself.

Like she knew something about me that I couldn't possibly know, like she hadn't decided yet whether she was going to tell me...

[meramu-meramu]

.

everything I do is carved out of the new space left behind by the illness. it's taken me time to learn how to think and feel again. bc the illness teaches you to never reach for, or even think about, anything that isn't within an arm's length. for so long it was so painful. and I used to throw tantrums and cry about it. then I accepted it. and 15 years passed before I knew it.

today my mom passed on to me her 00s burgundy marc jacobs handbag. unofficially.

I talked at length about how the lack of independence (financial and otherwise) made me so unequipped to dress the way I wanted, how my tastes and needs had changed and matured but nothing else in my life had. she has always spoiled me and always lent and given me many things from her collection, even when I could tell she was reluctant to part with it. there's a strange duality to it all; my gratefulness and my frustration coexist.

we'd been talking about our summer wardrobes and she'd suggested I invest in a pair of burgundy shoes to go with some other pieces I had when she gasped mid-sentence and took off. she went to the bedroom and took the bag out. she spoke at length about how much she loved it, going over every single detail and it was truly a beautiful bag but I was reluctant to let on how much I liked it because I didn't want her to feel pressured to part with it. we danced around it for a while and I felt like a child more than I had in ages and in the end she put it in a dustbag and I brought it home with me.

three weeks ago I was at the park and I shed a few tears because of the very simple reason that I realized that I was the happiest I'd ever been in my whole life. it is painful to be so sincere. but the sky was so blue and the birds were so loud I heard the chirping over the sound of the music in my headphones. I was listening to a recording of the opera I was to see the next day and I was so full of joy and excitement. the buds and the leaves on the branches and the grooves in the bark of the tree were so crisp to my eyes. I had eye surgery last year, and I had new glasses, so maybe this is the first spring of my life where I've seen the flowers and the leaves so clearly, I thought.

today I got home and I cried. I thought, two years ago, my mom never would have given me that bag. even with my mother's generosity, it never would've crossed her mind-and if it had, I would've declined.

even though fashion is the thing she's most passionate about in her life, for so long she couldn't share it with me, she couldn't share that joy or excitement, even though I could see how hard she tried at every turn to bond with me and make me feel appreciated and included. even when the illness was suffocating me, she would often insist. so I felt overwhelmed with sadness, and I cried.

I've been so happy about all the space I get to fill. I don't want to cry anymore if I can help it. but today I cried a little, thinking about that cramped space I lived in for my entire adult life, how even now I barely dare to think or believe that I'm free.

I'll unfurl... bit by bit.

[devianttxrts]

hand on her hip as she waited for slater's reply to come, tilly eyed the contents of her extensive walk in wardrobe. casual elegance was the goal here, mainly because she refused to step foot out the door in anything less. she found what she was looking for soon enough - a simple checkered dress that still said 'money' and a plain blazer to keep it tame, she spared a second to thank the years of experience that had brought her here. her little thanks giving was cut short when she felt her phone vibrate again, wasting no time unlocking her screen.

[tilly]: my only problem is the lack of support i get from you.[tilly]: oh yeah, because tapping a few buttons is just as satisfying as being destructive. bitch, what kind of dramatic effect is that? excuse me for having standards and a flair for the dramatic. shaking her head like it did anything to move the smile on her face, she padded back into her bedroom and through the adjoining door to the ensuite attached.

[tilly]: and don't you forget it. i always knew i'd be a hero one day.[tilly]: eating sushi alone though? i feel sad for you. so, so sad.[tilly]: even though i don't think being alone does anything to diminish your sexy. [tilly]: deal. like you even have to ask, it's gonna be so worth it. [tilly]: that sounds perfect (like me).

placing her clothes and phone on the vanity, tilly moved to open the shower door and turn the water on. while she waited for it to get hotter than was reasonable, she knew it would be a quick one. she'd bathed thoroughly last night; it was a crucial part of her nightly routine. as much as she liked the print, she wasn't an animal. and it wasn't like she'd done much since, but a little exfoliating and shower cream never hurt anyone.

@thursdaygrl