#if i die will anyone even know about it will i be able to get help when im on the floor screaming
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jambalaya-enthusiast · 2 days ago
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Can I ask for Headcanons/Scenario with the crew members where it's a normal tulpar haul. But the reader is an extremely experienced captain of another ship,and they're older,more built and more strict. Like think 6'7,built like an extreme weightlifter,very classy and formal.
And they're on the tulpar to look after everything because it's an incredibly important shipment? What would the crew members reactions be to the reader appearing very strict,no-nonsense,cold and condescending. But once they get close, the reader is actually very nice.
also can it be a male reader? Thank you! I love your writing. <3
Melting the Ice away.
Crew Members x Male! Older! Strict! Reader. [ Reader is a high ranking captain of another pony express ship ]
a/n; this ask was basically buried deep in my inbox,i was just scrolling through and found it.
Tulpar! Captain,Curly.
Oh boy,and they used to say that curly was the most able employee at pony express. Clearly they lied,Cause LOOK. AT. YOU.
For the first time in his career,he felt intimidated.
The way you basically hovered over him,gave him chills ngl.
He admires you so fucking hard, your efficiency ,your capability, and your experienced nature. you need something? Grant Curly is on it!... He found himself trying to... Impress you???
He was basically always looking for your approval at things,no matter how small or trivial it was. He needed your opinion.
He was also starting to wonder wether or not the feeling of intimidation... was rather something else.
He is definitely feelin a lil somethin somethin.
When he actually got to know you,and saw how kind and sweet you actually were. This guy just fell,he fell guys,he just fell.
Co-Pilot, Jimmy.
Manz is PISSED.
He is freaking LIVID,as if Curly wasn't already enough,bossing him around.
He'll never ever admit it to anyone,but he was basically scared of you,of how... Domineering you were.
He is jealous of how put together you were,always effortlessly classy.
He couldn't decide whether he wanted to be you,or wanted to be with you.
He didn't even notice it,but you found him staring,so intently that it actually concerned you.
Whenever you would try to interact with him he'll make up an excuse and run away.
But he,too wanted to get on your good side.
He'll die before ever admitting it,but he was craving your praise so fucking bad.
He is just dying on the inside,he desperately wants to hear you call him a 'Good Boy'.
Maybe he'll have to impress you some other way,who knows?
Nurse, Anya.
Let's be fr,the first time Anya saw you,her heart skipped a bit. I mean c'mon! Can you blame her? She doesn't see handsome, capable, disciplined male colleagues on the regular,does she?
Cut her some slack for staring! She can't help herself for wanting to admire you!
Like the others,she also tries her best to live up to your expectations,to be on your good list. She tries to make sure all your needs are met,(which aren't even bothersome,you prefer to do things your own anyway) but she always insists upon helping you out!
You began to notice that no matter who else wasn't around,Anya was always there in the corner of your eye. Was she... Following you around?
By Gods,she can't help it! No other person on the ship is as pleasant to be around as you! She feels at ease when she's with you. And you don't mind.
When she finally gets to know the real you, the butterflies in her stomach settle down into something even more soothing and calming.
Her puppy crush is beginning to grow,maybe someday in the near future, she'll ask you for things, beyond the professional limit.
Mechanic, Swansea.
He is just glad that there is someone on this godforsaken ship who has the screws in their head straight.
He does feel a bit relaxed that he doesn't have to worry about things going wrong with you onboard.
He sometimes has you deal with Daisuke instead. More relaxation time for him.
He can count on you. And he likes you the best on the ship.
Doesn't shy away from praising you in front of others.
Intern,Daisuke.
"WOWZER MISTER YOU'RE SO COOL!".
He was a bit scared of you at first,but quickly warmed up to how refreshing you were.
You were strict,yes. But not as much as Swansea. You never scolded him,or complained about him to others.
Instead you always, efficiently taught him how to do things properly.
The way you spoke,the way you presented yourself. He didn't find it strange how his other, older, colleagues were swooning over you either.
Grew to like you the best on the ship as well,always right by your side.
He does think you're hot,but is intimidated pretty easily.
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sakuraharuno156 · 2 days ago
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I was about to not answer that, but... I'm too stubborn to leave you in the dark about how sh*tty Hinata is and why every woman with a right mind should hate her, and every person who doesn't hate women should hate her as well ❤️
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First of all, did I ever said she is the only sh*t/easy to hate character? No.
But
There are characters that are villains and they are presented as villains to the public, so I (personally, you do you boo ❤️) don't see a point in hating them. You know you shouldn't follow Danzo as a role model - he is a villain.
Hinata is supposed to be a background character but on "the right side".
It's important to show all the flaws and mistakes of "non-villains", because they tend to be rewarded for bad behavior and it shows a bad massage to young people watching/reading it (and Naruto is a Shonen, so it is essentially made for children/teenagers).
Hinata is a stalker who got with a guy she was stalking - she got rewarded FOR A CRIME.
Hinata is a weak woman who always needs saving and needs a man to survive - she got rewarded for never doing a thing. All she can do is what she was given on a silver platter the moment she was born.
Hinata is a girl with no personality, no talent, no ambition, all she has is obsession - she got rewarded for being a pick me girl, who never cared for anything or anyone (besides the guy she likes).
It's easy to see her mistakes as "the right thing to do" because - hey, if you can stalk someone into a relationship, then why not continue to do so? Awfull. 🤷‍♀️
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Now to the "points":
1.) The plot could have progressed without Hinata in Pain arc.
Let me remind you that team Guy was on their way and Guy was able to nearly k*ll jubidara. You think that he couldn't fight Nagato, but Hinata could? Funny.
But why didn't they help? Oh yes, BECAUSE THEY HAD TO SAVE HINATA.
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Also, it's not like I made it up that she was a liability, it was stated IN MANGA.
1. First to Hinata DIRECTLY.
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2. Then to Guy.
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Guy would get in a way, but Hinata could help? Hilarious.
Also, Nagato wanted Naruto alive so Naruto wouldn't die without Hinatas interference - he would be just less broken by the whole encounter.
The only "positive" you can find is the fact that Naruto met Minato, but that also means that Hinata pushed Naruto to such hatred and despair that he GAVE HIMSELF UP, HE BECAME A MONSTER HE TRIED TO NEVER BE. He destroyed the village and was terrified that he killed villagers. He was in such bad mental state that he was hurting on the outside.
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Also, "noone gives a f*ck" that she wanted to get her own guard punished (propably k*lled because Hyugas are not lenient in their punishments) for a selfish confession? You ok?
2.) Did I say I want her to heal Shikamaru? No.
I said that she's a bad person for not even CARING that he's dying. Her being jealous for a guy dying is LITERALLY CRAZY.
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Everyone is happy that Shikamaru is alive, but "I want to stand beside Naruto too". B*TCH HE WAS DYING. SHOW SOME CONSIDERATION FOR YOUR COMRADE WHO WAS DY*NG FIGHTING THE SAME BATTLE AS YOU WERE.
Geez, that's pathetic and WRONG AF.
3.) Hinata didn't care for her teammates one bit.
Written exams are about teamwork and caring for your teammates? Let Hinata make them all thrown out for Naruto-kun 👉👈.
Her teammate is fighting? Let Hinata care only about Naruto-kun 👉👈.
Her teammate is being carried out by MEDICS? Let Hinata go to Naruto-kun (Who was 100% fine) first and treat her teammate as an afterthought 👉👈.
The fact that in an exam where YOU NEED TO RELY ON YOUR TEAMMATES, Hinata can't be bothered is baffling.
4.) "The whole Hyuga sh*t is not Hinatas problem" because...?
She's not a Hyuga? Or she's not a daughter of the head of Hyuga clan?
If your family is slave owner and you benefit from it, but you don't care to change it - YOU ARE A SLAVE OWNER.
I hope I don't have to explain to you why it makes her A BAD PERSON.
Also, please read the manga, because:
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You saying Hiashi "loathes her" is just funny or straight up delusional. Hinata is weak, so Hiashi doesn't care to train her - that's it. That doesn't mean that he wouldn't protect her.
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People like to imagine Hiashi as abusive when he cares for Hinata more than Naruto ever did 🤷‍♀️
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So, in conclusion:
Hinata is irrelevant at best and absolutely UNBEARABLE at her worst. She is just a bad person who enjoys making it worse for everyone, because she is selfish af 🤷‍♀️.
Also, don't use the word "r*t*rd*d". It's a slur, and when you grow up - you'll (hopefully) regret it.
To learn more, you can see here:
https://www.specialolympics.org/stories/impact/why-the-r-word-is-the-r-slur
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Bye ✨️
"…So you claim Hinata had no consideration for life of anyone other than Naruto... and then use a screenshot from the manga of her literally showing consideration for the wellbeing of someone who isn't Naruto."
Considering how things went after Neji vs Naruto, chances are that things changed in the Hyuuga family for those other than just Neji. Even if not, Hinata risking her life =/= a lack of consideration for anyone's life other than Naruto's, despite consequences. Or are you saying you’ve never done anything without carefully considering every single possible consequence first?
But hey… "Tell me you didn’t read my ask properly without telling me you didn’t read my ask properly".
"Or are you saying you've never done anything without carefully considering every single possible consequence first?"
First of all, sure, everyone did, but not necessarily when the consequences are:
1) you will just get in a way of a battle and be a great inconvenience instead of helping
(of which she was aware of)
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2) getting your guard punished/possibly killed
3) you hurting the person you are supposed to "help" (I'm not gonna repeat myself, you can read it here)
4) you dying for no reason
5) if you somehow don't get killed, you becoming a burden to medics who could devote their time to people who did help or got hurt by ricochet of the attack.
Second of all, you are putting it in a way that implies that Hinata did that only once, and you are wrong.
At some point of someone consistently doing the same thing you have to admit they either do that maliciously or that they are plain stupid.
I'm just gonna bring a few examples (that I talked about before over and over, but I'll do that again, especially for you)
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Shimamaru: almost died
Hinata: "But I want to stay beside Naruto too"
Does she care? No. Naruto-kun. That's all she cares about.
But maybe that's because they weren't too close, because who cares about a person from your class that is your comrade in war, he's not Naruto-kun.
How about her own teammate BEING CARRIED OUT BY MEDICS?
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The oiment Hinata has is more important for Naruto-kun, who is completely fine.
Who cares about Kiba, he is just being taken by medical team, but he can be an afterthought, they are just teammates after all.
How about her family?
Neji, who will be punished for hurting her (because, as you recognize YOURSELF, it's before Naruto vs Neji fight, so the punishment WILL BE THERE), who asked her TIME AND TIME again to just give up. Why will he do that, huh? Maybe because he had known what happened TO HIS FATHER FOR JUST THINKING ABOUT HER IN A BAD WAY.
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Anyway, how about making Neji hurt her, then provoking him by RUBBING IT IN HIS FACE THAT HE IS BELLOW HER?
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Neji just said (again) that she should give up and stop the suffering, she just casually mentions that he is "lost and suffering" because he's not in the main family.
(And before you say it was nice of her, NEJI AND THEREFORE MANGA showed us he didn't appreciate it, and the guard also saw that Neji was provoked and WAS ABOUT TO CHARGE AT HER FOR THAT COMMENT)
But ok, maybe they weren't close enough of a family, so it was acceptable to provoke him and get him to be punished, because you know...
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Naruto-kun is watching, so...
How about closer family? How about her own sister?
(Now, I don't like to quote the movies because I prefer to base my opinion on canon manga only, but you, Hinata Fans, love it, so let's go)
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(Credit to whoever made it, I can't find the original)
Hanabi was just kidnapped, but Hinatas mind is occupied, because well... Naruto-kun 🥺
BUT OK, MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, THEY DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH OF A BOND BETWEEN THEM TO CARE.
Let's look at the person who took care of her for her whole life, her guard, her family, let's look at Ko:
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Oh wait, we have already seen it.
It doesn't matter who it is, if it's her comrade, friend, teammate, cousin, sister, guard. If that person is not Naruto-kun, their life or well being is irrelevant to Hinata.
She cares about Naruto, that's it. Nothing else and noone else matters.
Do you understand?
So back to the beginning:
At some point of someone consistently doing the same thing you have to either admit they do that maliciously or that they are plain stupid and when it comes to LIFE OF OTHER PEOPLE I'll say that it either way makes you a bad person 🤷‍♀️
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So, in conclusion:
I did read your ask, I just assumed (and that is my mistake, I apologize) that if you are protecting Hinata, you shoud know first thing about her, but not only you didn't read the manga, you didn't even read the parts that had Hinata in it.
So, please, first read at LEAST chapters that have Hinata in them, before you speak (It's not a lot, she is a background character after all) or I'm not gonna answer to you again, because I'm tired of repeating myself for a 1000th time.
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whosthere54 · 1 day ago
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So I want to talk about Icarus’s death again cause. Yeah I watched the finale again.
I’m sure I talked about it before but. Cause I’m writing stuff with the mindset they hold the episodes leading up to and then their death I’m just. Thinking about it. Enjoy incoherent rambling I’m tired.
So just. One. Icarus knew they were going to die. The wound was something they knew couldn’t be fixed. They knew since Momboo, maybe even before. There’s just that sense throughout the final episodes is just. They know. And they knew they weren’t done yet, and they knew they might not make it out to see the end of it alive.
Then they did, they saw the end. They killed Fable.
And there’s two ways I can take that. One. Fable is dead and they have no more direction. It’s their fault. They just killed their dad. The one person who was there through that- who *stayed*. They have no one telling them (straightforward or otherwise) what they should be doing anymore- what is considered to be the right thing for them to do. They have no guidance. Their lost- and their alone again, because of course they are. Icarus was always meant to die alone.
Two. Fable is dead! There’s nobody trying to get them to do something in a way that they want it done. Their not “being controlled” anymore. They can do what they want to- to fix it. Their death is them taking that control back. Their going to die anyways, right? Quixis and the wack had been effecting their life for so long- controlling what they do. Making them feel like they need to isolate so they don’t hurt anyone, making them have no sense of stability in items and even pets because hey they all change! Nothing stays the same!
They get to choose, now. They get to choose. If the wack is killing them, why make it that? They choose to fall. They know they’re not going to survive. There’s in element of almost comfort in that. It’s their choice. Not Fable’s, not something they gave to do because of the wack harming others. (It’s harming them. And maybe that’s for the better, isn’t it?)
They fall. And they get to say it wasn’t Quixis or the wack that killed them. It was them. They did it. Icarus dies at sunset, able to stare out into the water before they go. When they fall, they can see the stars- and that’s more of the sky than the story of Icarus ever got to see before his death.
They get to fall. And it feels close enough to flight that they can’t tell the difference. They can spread their arms wide, and *laugh*. They got to see Rae and Centross before their death. They got to choose that.
Icarus dies at sunset.
And it’s their choice this time.
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ooooo-mcyt · 2 days ago
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There seems to be a running theme with honor and “honorable” kills. Gem and Pearl, scar/jimmy and Grian, even Cleo and bigb with the betrayal. I’m interested to see how the alliances are torn/made with this
Also gempearl divorce
I think the focus on "honorable" kills in many ways comes down to the characters' desire for basic agency.
There aren't many choices anyone can make in this game. They have to play, they have to die. They don't get any choice over being here, over the game mechanics, over their inevitable fates. Any mark of agency characters get is in little things. How they choose to react to things, managing to scrape up some semblance of a 'win' for themselves, or being able to die on their own terms.
Most things in the series can be read through this lens of agency, but the "honorable kills" theme is one of the biggest ones.
Gem knows she has to die, it's part of the game, but there was something traumatic about the end of Secret Life from her perspective. Her team was strong, and then it wasn't, sustaining an injury they couldn't recover along, but continuing to drag themselves along as every single option and choice they thought they had was gone, and Gem died alone, two against one. This season she refuses to have that agency taken away from her, and she resents Pearl for trying, for refusing to give her an honorable fight.
The reason killing Impulse got to Ren so much is because Ren prides himself on his honor. Ren's never truly had much choice in his own life, but one thing he can always choose is to have principals, is to stick to his sense of honor. We see Ren do something he deems dishonorable and immediately make excuses, craft a narrative in which he was led to it, in which it wasn't his fault, in which he never would have done it on his own. Ren creates a boogeyman so he doesn't have to face the thought that his honor can fail. So he doesn't have to face the fact that the desperation of this game can take away one of his only ways of control in his own life.
Grian, when victim to 'cheap' kills, feels like it's a violation of his personal agency as well. He has a chance in a fair fight, or against a well laid trap, and when the kill is silly, well, usually he lets those happen for the bit. But a cheap kill isn't something that can easily be avoided, and it makes him feel helpless. What does it mean if someone can just kill him and he doesn't even have a chance to stop it? Furthermore, Grian practically offered to let Scar in specific kill him, and if Scar took him up on it, that would have been Grian's choice. But instead Scar turned him down and then went for the 'cheap' kill anyways, as if Scar was trying to make him as powerless as possible (scar wasn't, of course, but it must have felt like it)
People locked in an endless looping death game want to be able to feel like they have a choice, like they have agency, and they don't feel right when the little ways they can keep that agency are taken from them.
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vevobly · 2 days ago
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Yellowjackets Reactions To Your Death! [Peri-Crash] (1)
A/N: Heads up! This is written with you in mind as their romantic partner, but you can always just interpret it as whichever you want. Your death is left unspecified because I want it to be left open for you to decide (when and how). Jackie and Laura Lee didn't die in this just as they originally did in canon early on.
Jackie Taylor:
When you die, Jackie is crushed. The moment you die and leave her, it's as if everything around her just dissolved into nothing. She'd be in denial of it at first, thinking maybe when she sleeps at night and wakes up the next day, she'd find you awake beside her. But it doesn't happen, and the longer Jackie tries to ignore it, the deeper she spirals down.
She wouldn't know how to process any of it, much less cope with the fact that you're no longer around anymore, other than putting up a front with everyone else and pretending she's got everything composed even though she clearly doesn't. When she's all by herself, she'll just break down suddenly and cry; all while holding onto something that once belonged to you.
When Jackie begins accepting that you're really gone, she only sinks deeper. She becomes a mess, barely able to hold herself together. She takes out her feelings on the other yellowjackets, more judgemental and controlling. Doing everything she can to avoid grieving you more. She clings to your belongings, even when they serve no purpose. It's due to this that she becomes distant from the others.
Shauna Shipman:
Shauna's grief is quiet, yet it speaks more volumes than anything. She'd try to rationalize your death as something inevitable, but knowing her, she'd always mourn you even when she thinks like that. Not knowing how to get the pain of losing you out of her, she'd project it outward. She'd keep something of yours—anything that belonged to you once—close to her as a way of coping.
It doesn't matter how or to whom you died, Shauna would be consumed by guilt no matter what. She would just shut down emotionally, and replay the moments she had with you before your death. Second-guessing everything she said or did when you were still around and alive before. She'd wonder endlessly if she could have done something, anything to prevent your death.
Your death would become this silent but omnipresent wound for Shauna because she would constantly just ruminate about the what-ifs, and blame herself for not being able to do anything before your death. It really doesn't help that one of her coping mechanisms to live with the fact that you're dead is just daydreaming that you're still alive and with her.
Taissa Turner:
Taissa would just bury her feelings and emotions, compartmentalizing them to stay focused on keeping the other safe. She'd just double down on tasks, and insist everyone on moving forward. But she can't fool anyone, because it shows. Sometimes, she's just staring blankly at something that reminds her of you or snapping when someone questions her out of nowhere. She's spiraling, she knows.
Losing you would devastate Tai, especially if she felt like she couldn't stop it from happening. She wouldn't be able to let herself grieve you properly at all, and things only get much worse when because of that, it manifests into these nightmares or hallucinations where she sees you alive. She would know that it isn't real, her eyes are just deceiving her. But that wouldn't stop her from wanting it to be real.
Aside from those, Tai would become super focused on survival, almost as a way to honor you somehow. Your death makes her sleepwalking way worse than before because despite being asleep with her subconscious mind being the only thing leading her in her sleep, she's seeking you out unknowingly despite everything else.
Van Palmer:
Van would take your death incredibly hard. And one of the ways she would try coping with your death is just by making some light-hearted jokes. It hurts her to think about you, especially after your death, but it hurts her way even more to not think of you. In some way, she ends up thinking your death was a sign. Maybe even a punishment for something she did, something they've done.
Aside from humor, Van would try her best to deflect anything that involves you. She would avoid places (though it can't be helped that she still would come there from time to time) or objects tied back to you, not wanting to confront her own loss directly. If someone on the team questions her about how she's feeling, she will just brush it off with a strained smile and a weak reassurance in response.
Usually at night, when everyone's asleep and when she's all by herself, Van would talk to you as if you could still hear her. As if you were still alive. And despite how pathetic it may seem, she hopes for some sign that maybe you're watching over her. Whether she was involved fully or not with your death, she would blame herself, somehow ending up thinking that her own survival came at your expense.
Natalie Scatorccio:
Whether she could have done something to prevent your death or not, Natalie would feel overwhelmingly helpless. She would be so angry at everything because of your death. She would blame herself, the crash, and the whole universe for your death. It's because of her grief that she would be a bit reckless and take risks for her survival, almost as if she doesn’t care about dying or not because of it.
Nat after your death would be like a ticking time bomb. You were one of the few things grounding her, and with your death comes the push into self-destruction. During desperate times of need with the team, she'd end up lashing at them. More so to those she blames for your death, whether or not they had anything to do with it.
If she had anything that reminded her of you, you can bet she'd be holding onto it tightly. Maybe even sometimes talk to it as if you were still alive. For a while after your death, she'd be bitter towards everyone before begrudgingly just accepting that you're dead and there's nothing she could have done to prevent it. Nat would put up barriers again between herself and the team, just to isolate herself.
Lottie Matthews:
Lottie would try her damnest to convince herself that your death was part of a larger purpose. Something that the wilderness planned (was it even necessary? why did it have to be you out of everyone else?). She would insist on making the whole team follow a certain ritual or just something—anything—symbolic in your honor. If some of them didn't want to, she would become defensive or more insistent with it.
Whether you actually stayed around to see each of them slowly but surely lose their mind more after your death, Lottie will have this belief where she thinks your spirit is around and lingering with her. And this only worsens when she starts having visions of you that are vivid because she interprets them as signs that you're not truly gone.
It doesn't matter if she actually believes in it herself or not, it comforts her. It gives her a sense of purpose despite your death. While she tries to make it seem like your death was kind of a good thing, she's hurting more than she lets anyone see. When the group starts getting more divided, she unintentionally ends up using your death as something to inspire the rest to actually be a team and work together.
Laura Lee:
She's so torn to the point that she leans into her faith about the man from above and believes that maybe in some way—somehow—your death was something that he had planned. That your death wasn't just something done by the universe to be cruel towards her, make her more miserable than she already is. She would try comforting others about your death, but it would be more like she's comforting herself than them.
Despite her belief, she'd wrestle so hard with guilt about your death; wondering almost endlessly if she could have done something—just anything to save you. Over time, she convinces herself that your death was maybe a test of her own faith in him and so. But just like everyone else in the group, she's spiraling. She's falling apart just like all of them are.
Your death challenges Laura Lee’s faith. She'd begin struggling to reconcile why the man from above would ever allow this to happen. But she’d never admit it, she would never admit her doubts and just keep it all to herself instead. She becomes so focused on praying and just having these memorials for you that she becomes hopeless to the point she starts thinking maybe there isn't any higher being out there in the world, it's all just us people ourselves out here.
Misty Quigley:
Misty copes with her grief about your death by hyper-fixation, unable (she's kind of numb to your death) to move on from it fully and accept that you're no longer around. She'd refuse to let go of anything that belonged to you, keeping those things close to her and constantly talking about you as if you were still alive.
Misty would lash out terribly hard at anyone that tells her to move on, she would go on about how they're being disrespectful of your memory by being like that. To punish them in her head and just to be petty, she ignores them for some time completely when they need her. Only actually getting over it once Nat tells her she's being ridiculous for that.
She throws herself into keeping others alive after your death, claiming it's what you would’ve wanted. But she doesn't know that. She just thinks it's what you would have wanted. At some point after your passing, she'll start telling the others she can feel you and that you're guiding her. But no one really believes her. Things only become worse when she becomes more manipulative, using you basically as a reason to justify her behavior.
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bloodnikki · 2 days ago
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Ekko loves Jinx. He loves every side of her even if he can’t get the name right. He wonders why it’s a struggle to accept her as Jinx until she’s gone and it hits him.
Guilt. It’s guilt that made him unable to let go. It’s guilt for his people. If he accepted as Jinx, and loved her anyway, he would’ve been a failure to them. He wouldn’t have been able to look them in the eyes as he fought to protect them.
Powder’s still in there was code for I’m not a bad person for wanting her. It maybe why he was so angry he wouldn’t let him call her that. Jinx wanted him to remember her crimes. Jinx needed him to see her for who she was.
He gets why she stayed with Silco. He was an awful man but at least he cared for her enough to respect the person she wanted to be. Ekko had been ashamed to love her.
‘Hey, I know we were meant to have this big talk after the battle but I can’t. I’m tired of talking. We run around in circles. Powder, Powder you say and I say I’m Jinx and you give those big eyes and I feel shitty for being me and you feel shitty because I’m me. I can’t do that. So, I’m just gonna listen to Silco. I’m going to end the cycle. He came to me the other day talking about being brave enough to end cycles or some nonsense. He talks too much. I guess it’s finally time I listen. Kinda owe him one time seeing as I killed him.
Ekko, do you ever wonder what we could’ve been? I do. Not all the time. I’m not that crazy but I do. It reminds me of how fucked and jinxed I am and your stupid big eyes and I just can’t do this anymore. It would’ve been easier if you just killed me.
So, no big talk. Instead, I’m ending the cycle. I’m going to this place I heard about from Vander when he was still kicking around. Maybe if we met there things would’ve been different.’
Ekko.hates when he finds the letter stuffed in his things at the lab. He thinks how he thinks of it as their lab but it’s not. It’s all hers and she’s gone. Vi said she didn’t make it. He cries for what feels like hours. He leaves and can’t will himself back to their shared space.
He misses her so much. Everything reminds him of her. His feet take him back to their lab and he’s ready to mourn her all over again when he sees a letter that wasn’t there before. In large pink ink, the top read She Lives.
He flicks it open and the first lines make him chuckle. ‘I just can’t seem to die. So, the world is stuck with me. The world is stuck with me but that doesn’t mean I have to be stuck here. I doubt you’d like to come with. I’m scared you’d say no. So, I’ve gone on ahead. I’m going to check out this place here. If I miss you, which let’s face it, you most likely aren’t gonna come, I’ll leave a note on where I’ll head next. It’ll be like a game.’
Ekko hates how excited he is she’s alive. He hates the idea of not telling Vi or anyone. He tells Scar though. Ekko’s packing a bag and he tells Scar “she made it. I’m going. Things are covered here and ya got this and I’m going and-“
“Good. Go.” Scar understands. “Come back once you both are ready.”
“I… thanks.”
Ekko follows behind her. Some stops, he knows he just missed her. Everyone tells him stories about her and he reads her letters. He cries some nights looking them over. She leaves a photo behind for him. The back reads ‘look at me! I’m finally putting on some pounds. Maybe I’ll finally grow boobs.’ She looks beautiful.
Their messages are a one way street. She can talk to him but he can’t talk to her. It must be justice for all the times he shut her out when he wanted to speak to Powder and only got Jinx. Ekko buys a notebook on the way to the third town. He wants to write down his thoughts to share later with her.
It’s almost two years and he’s just missed her more times than he could count. He wonders if she’ll ever slow down enough to let him catch her. From her letters, it sounds like she’s scared he isn’t coming. He hates that she’s no faith in him. Of course he’s coming. He loves her.
It finally happens. He finally sees her in person and there’s no way she’s getting away, unless she runs. He really hopes she doesn’t run.
“Ekko.”
And that’s it. He’s never letting her out of sight again.
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maria-ruta · 1 month ago
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Discord is basically a spyware program with the NSA crawling through it so no shit Russia blocked it. If I were in conflict with the USA I'd block all the shit I possibly could
usa is shit, but don't you come to my DMs trying to defend russians gov
bc they are shit too, I'd say they are worse but honestly I don't think its productive to argue on which's government is crappier
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dazais-guardian-angel · 8 months ago
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kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....
#bungou stray dogs#been thinking a lot about chuuya lately (shocking for me i know (said with no sarcasm truly lmao it is rare for me))#cause of the 15 manga and also playing the fucking jeht quest in genshin impact ugh (where's the one dual genshin bsd fan who Understands)#but like this pressure has been building up for chuuya for so long due to being used and manipulated by all these people#first the sheep then mori then verlaine then still mori now#he was groomed since childhood just like dazai#but unlike dazai he didn't have an oda to help him get out of the mafia........ he's still stuck there#and his personality is different from dazai's. dazai was more self-aware imo (but still a groomed emotionally abused kid don't get me wrong#but chuuya's whole thing is needing to belong and wanting a leader to be loyal to but ending up in positions of leadership himself#which makes him feel pressured but he accepts and stifles any negative feelings just because he wants to belong#and all this crushed him with the events in the light novels and yeah he went through character growth but he's...... Still In The Mafia...#and that fucking scene asagiri added to the cannibalism stage play i don't think hardly anyone even knows about bc IT'S NOT DISCUSSED ANYMO#where mori emotionally manipulates him with the flags!!! and it deeply hurts him!!! and he presumably deals with that shit all the time!!!#it is WORRISOME. it WORRIES ME okay.#chuuya doesn't have anyone who can save him from the mafia (dazai is in no position to okay; it's all he can do just to try to save himself#and it's so so scary. it spells awful things for him.#didn't asagiri say he'd have a rough path or something??? and he added that fucking scene in the play!!! it haunts me!!#i fully expected this shit to hit a turning point in the meursault arc but we can't have nice things i guess#and as for kunikida a;lskdfl (took me this long to get to him oop) literally the ending of Entrance Exam (the novel) is just#One Big Foreshadowing for Kunikida's downfall#he's compared to the azure king for a reason. Sasaki saw the azure king in him for a reason. it's fucking worrying!!!!!#there hasn't really been anything like that since in the manga (just like for chuuya lol ugh) but he's TERRIBLE at coping with his trauma#and it only gets more apparent once shit hit the fan in the doa/hunting dogs/meursault arc#it's not good!!! i'm worried for kunikida too!!!!#even if the manga isn't focusing on this these worries are always in the back of my mind man#both kunikida and chuuya are doomed to hit some kind of breaking point eventually and i await those moments with dread yet anticipation#i want dazai to be able to save kunikida from the despair being too good a person brings the way he couldn't save oda#and chuuya.... if we get a scene with him & mori mirroring the one in dark era where dazai finds out that mori orchestrated the kids' death#oh man i think i'll fucking die (give it to me i need to cry)
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skunkes · 6 months ago
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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frecklystars · 2 months ago
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this man's sleeves are about to pop open and tear right off. he flexes and his shirt just fucking explodes
#love notes#love notes: ignacio ♡#💕♬♪ ♥ You stole my heart before anyone knew you had it - ̗̀˚₊·🐍🎱🌹˚₊· ̖́-#[jesse pinkman voice] YEAH BITCH!!! LOVE NOTES!!!!#oh my goddd let me be abnormal about him please#add another bald man to the roster fellas#first it was marco and leonel then it was mike then it was saul (he's balding. it counts)#now it's this rattlesnake lookinass slithery motherfucker stealing my heart#it wasnt at first sight either it TOOK him TWO MONTHS#i was terrified of him#until there was a scene where he was angry and he COULD HAVE lashed out#BUT HE DIDNT. HE HAD SELF CONTROL#he calmed himself down and took deep breaths and talked rationally#and he protects innocents if he's able to. and he feels remorse when he can't.#and he cares so much for his father bc to him his father is the purest kindest soul#and i just absolutely fell so hard. so SLOWLY though. he snuck up on me#but he's a thief isn't he? at least in one episode? 🥰 how fitting#i love violent criminals with the capacity to have a soft spot. for ANYTHING#it helps me feel safer with them and like the old me#youre supposed to look at a villain and know in ur heart that ur the exception and they'd protect u#and im slowly learning that again even tho its so damn hard#but this guy!!! and marco!!! and leonel!!! i just KNOW they're my ride or die#the actors telling me that in person and in cameo sure helps though sdlfjslkfdsf#oh god i need to tell you guys something really cool that happened to me with marco's actor this week#when i get the chance!!!
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great-tusk · 14 days ago
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ughhh I need to stop having mental breakdowns over little things.
#vent in tags#chat sesh with iris#vent#tw vent#I feel like everyone hates me and even you all hope I die and nobody likes my ships bc everyone thinks I’m not good enough for my f/os#and the worst part is that none of it is unfounded!!!#none of my friends are talking to me AT ALL anymore even when I start conversations#(including in text)#while they actively talk to other people WHERE I CAN SEE IT!!!#only one of my friends is and all they do is send me anti bs and go ‘omggg these people are so weird!!!’ about like anyone who ships with-#certain characters (including ones that I SHIP WITH!!! which is why I don’t talk about it other than here)#people are like ‘omggg… I hate it when men like these characters. you don’t get them and they’d never love you.’ about my f/os#which triggers dysphoria and self loathing and fear about my ships#tw suicidal ideation#<- somewhat#I don’t like anything about myself and I don’t deserve anything that I have#man. I don’t even want to be here anymore#also I have severe mental illness that has caused a lack of possibility for happiness that lasts longer than fleeting moments#I have not spoken (like aloud) to anyone other than my parents since THE THIRD!!!#I’m going to ask my psychiatrist for testosterone on Wednesday but idek if I’m gonna make it until then#probably I will because I’m too depressed to gather the energy to do it#also she might even say no or not be able to prescribe it#and this isn’t even why I’m the most upset rn but I REALLY need a win#also my mom was like ‘you haven’t given me another name so I’ll just keep calling you the name I gave you 😊😊😊.’ instead of. idk. asking me?#tw suicide#okay yeah the tag is fully warranted now#I like know how I’d do it and everything#I also had a panic attack because I couldn’t find my quilt hashtag just autism things!!!#not takeover#obviously
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sucktacular · 4 months ago
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I miss the days where existing online was a fun thing for ppl with social anxiety to make friends on instead of like Life 2.0 ya know
#sucktacular sucks#this is literally about nothing im just like#so tired. im tired all the time. being online was my lil fun escape place#but now itslike#DID YOU KNOW HORRIBLE THING HAPPENED AND IF YOU ARENT PAYING ATTENTION#YOURE AWFUL AND ALSO THIS OTHER STUFF DONT DO IT BUT YOU#HAVE TO DO THIS THING OR ILL SEND YOU DEATH THREATS#or YOU DID XYZ OR LIKE XYZ THAY MEANS YOURE EVIL AND AWFUL#and its like#i know this stuff existed still back then but also#i just miss making movie maker slide shows#and having funny fake cyber sex in gaia online towns with my friends that i dont#know anything about and will never meet#like i could probably still exist in that closed off little world if i tried harder#but like maaaaann its just rough#i log in and get bombarded with information#i have no money i dont go outside and i want to be left alone except for my friends#i dont want to be anyone and i dont want to do anything#and Yet#my anxiety is on high alert every hour of everyday#anyone else wanna just exist and enjoy stuff or be a hater but it not be A Big Thing#again literally about nothing just like#i have an anxiety disorder and i know existing is already hard#but man online gonna make it hard now too huh#ewie#anyway i do miss my death note mutuals but i cant even socialize with my besties these days#cuz im too anxious and one little trip up and im gonna explode and die frankly#working on it#HOW THE HELL DID WE WIND UP LIKE THIS#AND WHY WERENT WE ABLE... TO SEE THE SIGNS THAT WE MISSED. AND TRY AND TURN THE TABLES
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triglycercule · 11 days ago
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who made the mtt. and no i dont mean like who made the CONCEPT of the murder time trio (because i know who that is. touken kamui i thank you for the fangame every day :3) but like,,,, who decided to just randomly pair these 3 together?? like whaaaat.......
part of me wants to believe it was rahafwabas with the whole bad sanses group thingy being made with those 3 in there and then like. the fangame just gave them specifically a seperate group name. but STILL,,,,, where did this trio come from
#so rain of dust got a reboot a couple of months ago and now triple the insanity did too#and my newest favorite detail in the video is that theres a section where dust and killer's sprites are#glitching out. wanna know why??? BECAUSE HORROR GOT DELETED MTT BETTA THEY ALWAYS TOGETHER#insanity is just a horror replacement i fear i dont understand at all why he's even in the trio#WHY IS IT A TRIO. IF THERE'S A SUPPOSED FOURTH. THATS A SQUAD BRO#istg he was just added there for like shock factor or smth bc horror wasn't powerful enough to keep up#it saddens me so much to have him here but also that means it saddens kist as well :3#and killer and dust's sprites are red while insanity's is purple#YOU WILL NEVER BE HIM INSANITY!!!! YOU WILL NEVER BE HORROR I FEAR#idc what anyone says idc how many people shit on the mtt fangsme concept i LOVE IT#its like one of the few mtt content i get that doesnt involve nightmare#like. ok. bad sanses cool. i however could not give two shits about the oil monstrosity and cross#please i need my own little seperate island to myself where only i get to enjoy the mtt reboot songs#cycle of endless death against a common foe. they HAVE to learn how to work together no matter what#its not like they can just give up (looking at you horror) because the human will keep on killing again and again#waaait waaaaait in an mtt fangame dynamic horror would also experience the genocides :3 awww shared truama :3#isnt it so badass that horror literally had to get DELETED because he couldnt die and therefore the human got mad#ok fine maybe im glad theres at least a reason my boy got removed from the trio but still#the human can kill dust and killer as many times as they want. the other two will keep trying to stop them bc of dt#but horror CANT die. theres no fun in that. and one day he'll just give up. that's not amusing at all#i find it nice. a cute little parallel between the 3 :3 now horror gets his own personal genocidal human experience#man the mtt fangame human is smart asf like. DAMN. i forgot bro could just erase the trio#anyways i think that it's a good concept IDC. why are they stuck in the endless loop of human kill human reset? idk lemme check#i forgot that gaster was involved in this fuckass au LMAO but at least he's not THAT involved. more like a background character#the satsujinki was created only for murder. does it have any other thoughts? any other wants and needs? i love it so much my baby#and then the phase after that just consists of my trio emptily operating off the faintest instincts they have#after all this time spent together fighting do they not instinctually long for eachother?#me imagining these empty husks to hold hands and hug. as if theyd only truly be able to coexist peacefully with their minds lost#but at least theyre together. at least theyre always together forever :3 even if they don't know anything else#tricule rant
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pa-pa-plasma · 2 months ago
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i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal
#''poor teachers!!'' yeah well at least they can fucking quit & go work somewhere else#''okay but times are different than when you went to school in the 1970's'' this was 2016 my guy. shut the fuck up#''well maybe you were a violent & severely misbehaving kid!'' i wasn't. i have ADHD & severe anxiety disorder & depression#my biggest crime was being too exhausted & dopamine deprived to do my homework#my dad talks about how he was treated in school & i'm like damn dude i went through the same exact shit#how is it that a majority of teachers & principals are still abusive power-tripping pieces of shit 60 years later#why haven't things changed#well actually the answer is simple & it's because they want disabled people to disappear#& if abled students that simply disagree with the way things are done get caught in the crossfire then that is acceptable#because anyone not fit to make billionaires a billion more dollars should just die!#anyways here are my original tags from that gravity falls post i just reblogged:#I know this is supposed to be an appreciation post but like. ''for being the ''dumb one'' he's surprisingly rational.'' seriously??#as ''the dumb'' but ''surprisingly rational'' one of my family this is THEE biggest misunderstanding & it drives me up the fucking wall#just because a person struggles in one area doesn't mean they're stupid & should be an irrational dumb dumb idiot baby holy fuckkk#sorry to OP but even when people try to ''appreciate'' stuff like this they can't help but throw in insults#simply because they genuinely believe that ''even though you're stupid you SURPRISINGLY act competent sometimes'' is a compliment#I'm less mad about this & more sad that this kind of shit is still so prevalent in 2024#both Stanley & Stanford are smart & competent & rational#they just show it in different ways & exceed in different (sometimes overlapping) subjects#this is normal for human beings but the big societal scam is that if you don't do it in the way Ford does then you're stupid & a failure#& being surprised that Stan is also smart & competent in his own ways is the biggest sing that you fucking fell for it dude#btw before i get @ ed for this. i WAS that kid#i was so much that kid the school actually diagnosed me with stupid & spiteful & i was told to quit while i was ahead (they failed me befor#obviously this is very personal for me but also i don't think people realize the language they use is on purpose & it's used specifically t#& it's still happening right now & that just. makes me wanna cry honestly#like why are people still surprised that people can specialize in something despite bad grades in school#you know. the thing we all know is literally rigged to either put you in jail or in a factory to make billionaires more money.#man sorry for the rant the original spirit of the post is super correct but like fuck HS grade-centric judging of people's entire character#Stan being able to defeat Bill is just not at all surprising if you were him or knew/know someone like him#or really paid any attention at all to the show while watching it
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iknowwhereyousleepatnight · 5 months ago
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people begging me to do something to make a certain someone happy aren’t taking into account that i hate this person and i will revel in the knowledge that i kept them from getting the most perfect version of what they wanted. in fact i hope they mourn the loss of this for the rest of their life and die unhappy about it
#i wish i could do worse. i wish i could go through and ruin everything i ended up giving them (all against my wishes) and i wish#i could ruin everything they love because god do i hate them and i will laugh when they finally fucking die#i have no idea why everyone glosses over all the shit this person has done to us and all the pain they’ve caused and i can’t fathom why#everyone wants to make them happy and why they’re willing to beg and bribe for me (and one other person who also hates them) to#give in but it is amusing and i hope they all fucking cry about it like oh nooo did poor [REDACTED] not get something they will never#get another chance to have ? oh well that sucks so bad for them i’m oh so sorry i caused that i can’t believe i managed to ruin their#chances for this how awful that this person i hate who has done and gotten away with so many horrible things didn’t get their perfect#little fantasy how sad we should all comfort them and call me a bitch who has no respect for anyone#god sometimes i wish i gave into violence more in the past bc i wish i got to fucking beat their ass up back when it would be self-defense#unforch i will never get to now. SAD!#i suppose i have murder fantasies and the thought of being able to ruin their funeral to soothe my soul#and the knowledge that i could make them fucking hurt by refusing to cooperate w them#and ough every time an opportunity presents itself for me to fucking take back what they took from me arises i have to fight myself#on it bc everyone will know it was me. i don’t even want what they have i just want them to know they will never get it back and#god it would upset them so much but they never should have had it in the first place ough if i get the chance before i ditch everyone here#for good i’d want to take it and stick around just long enough to hear how much they’ll cry about it before i fuck off#unforch i would need to know where all of their copies of things are but fuck i hate knowing they’ve taken so much from me bc i didn’t#get a fucking choice and they think they have to right to keep it all bc oh it makes them so happy they love having it they’re so fucking#afraid of losing it but it’d be so easy and i doubt they’d even notice for a while and i genuinely could disguise it as a mistake something#got misplaced some files corrupted etc etc but whatever this is fantasy a sweet little daydream of mine my second fantasy involving#them has smth to do with setting their house on fire and my third fantasy is desecrating their grave when the time comes#okay i’m done w this lalalalalala *skips off into the distance* i think revenge is not productive but god is it delicious to think about
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omarwolaeth · 7 months ago
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thinking 'bout how the lads interact with what the bracelets represent, especially in their decks
#marwospeaking#Yuuya is by far hardest to work with on this because he Varies. but that might just be him being opposite to Yuzu so it might count?#anyway Yuuya is a bushfire made by fireworks set off without proper precaution (the improperly set off fireworks being Zarc..#.. being influenced into the position that made the lads through his desire to both destroy and entertain his crowds)#It's small sometimes. but in the right conditions is an unstoppable conflagration#Yuuto literally does not die. In a world where we never truly get the other two (Yuugo and Yuuri) interacting with their host (Yuuya)..#.. outside of duels. he very much does. He is undead in a way the others don't quite match (pre Zarc revival) and it's opposite to..#.. En Bird's life (assuming it counts death too as part of its cycle)#Yuugo uses machine monsters - things that distinctly don't breathe. and in most cases have exhaust pipes billowing fumes#and machines can be warm to the touch at times. which you could feasibly slide against Rin's Windwitches for being Very Cold Ladies#Also he's trapped no matter where he is. Neo Domino has a stronger grip on him as a person than anyone else. and when he might finally..#.. escape that. he's trapped in someone else's body with no canonical recourse. because the story ended on Yuuya's terms and no one elses#Yuuri is hardest to place but I think he's very stationary. Sere's monsters are dancers - constantly moving - and she's very able to#adapt as she goes despite how stupid she can be book-wise. Yuuri is rooted into his role. even when he discards his loyalty his role was..#.. always in Zarc's interest no matter if he knew or not. The Professor's loyalty from him is an add-on to that#... I'd argue Zarc cared more about his pieces than Ray cared about hers also? He made cards for them on the fly so they'd Win#Even in moments where that victory is not in a wholly positive light - Odd-Eyes Raging and Gatlinghoul - but we know he's capable of it..#.. a la allowing Yuuya to debut pendulum monsters on his behalf in order to win against Ishijima#something something this can then apply to the other lads. they never lose except to each other and Ray's girls (at least on screen)#Yuuto survived 3 years of war. even despite Yuugo and Yuuri showing up. so methinks Zarc must've had a role in helping him survive#Like. Zarc's distinctly present for his Lads. Ray's not present for her lasses until one of them speaks through her#Sure it's very possible that's a bracelet thing - they are floodgates at the end of the day - and not a Ray thing. but it also wouldn't..#.. surprise me given Ray is an Akaba. we know they will sacrifice others for a gain later on - Ray's was sacrificing a whole world to make.#.. a safer one for everyone to live in. irrelevant on if they remember it or if they never existed originally. Except Leo Akaba. He does#(with memory reading tech) and it tortures him the whole time. she didn't mean to hurt him but Still#Zarc's distinctly not better than Ray - he's still broken wide open when it comes to his hatred of humanity (but not his human half)#and it resulted in multiple near-deaths the second time around - but I can't say Ray's that much better if it turns out the bracelets..#.. weren't floodgating her ability to help her lasses#Completely unrelated but. I don't like what Arcray represents ngl. makes it seem like Zarc could never move on with the help of his lads#and has to rely on someone who killed him and sent him to purgatory about it in order to heal.
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