#if i cant be honest and i just say nothing at all
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#ngl youd think after me reading so many books my english writing skills would improve#i hate that i struggle so much to write book reviews like how do i say this would have healed me when i was a teen?#how do i say i didnt completely relate to everything in it but it came pretty damn close?#how do i say that the characters felt real and im gonna miss them?#and so much more#i think im realising is that my actual issue is that i dont wanna be too personal and give info about myself#but its kinda hard to write earnestly when youre trying to hide so much#lol if that isnt just my life basically#if i cant be honest and i just say nothing at all#i need to **** ****** 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#le text post
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"When you guys are playing and, like, we all got podcasts and there are big podcasts out there, you know, are going from series to series, and they're critiquing teams and what not—like, at the end, do you know who's chirping you? Do you pay attention to that shit? Do you know who's on your side? Do you know who's, you know, rooting against you? Do you guys pay attention to that kind-of stuff? I'm just curious." "Yeah, I think this might be the first podcast I've ever done—I'm not the biggest fan of podcasts to be honest. I think—I'm friends with that, you know, [Shane] O'Brien, and [Scottie] Upshall (2 out of the 3 cohosts of the Missin' Curfew podcast), I love those guys... so if they ask I would do it but... again they, I think—I think negativity flows through media so much that it just kind-of disgusts me and I want nothing to do with it to be honest. So I hate the negativity, I think it's crazy, I think negativity in media steers guys away from certain teams... it's like, 'Why do you want that?' right? So I don't know, I'm a huge fan of the positivity, finding the positives in players and not putting guys down especially in podcasts and stuff like that where it should be for the players, right? It should be a positive thing, something that we rally around. Especially as ex-players!" "Yeah! We're gonna pump your tires!" "That's it!" "Well, you still gotta be real though!" "No, I know!" "You know if you have a bad game—" "It's gotta be real! For sure!" "—You gotta be real! You can't fake out your audience either so it's still a business." "One hundred percent! One hundred percent, one hundred percent... and I get that but—Yeah, I mean, I saw all those Spittin' Chiclets guys all over Edmonton's bandwagon so..." "That really bothered you guys, eh? Like, I mean, you guys were paying attention to that. I mean, as evidence as well on what took place on the ice after the game... you guys weren't, like, fucking around, you were being serious, right? You guys—that really bothered you guys?" "Hundred percent." "What was it? Like, the most that bothered you about it? Just the fact that, 'Hey, you guys are rooting for them... why are you trying to celebrate with us?' I mean, was it—is it that simple?" "Exactly. Yeah, get the f—we won, get off... right? Get out of here. That's uh, yeah. I don't know, I don't want to be too controversial or anything like that. I'm a happy guy, I like everybody so... whatever." "They're all good dudes, man. Listen if they're into hockey and they're talking about hockey thats a positive one way or the other!" "Oh, they're growing the game! They're growing the game! Huge! And they're doing a great job and I've spoke with Biz [Paul Bissonnette] a few times and I know Whit [Ryan Whitney] (Cohosts of Spittin' Chiclets) and I've got no issues with any of 'em. Truly."
The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.30.24 (x)
#aaron ekblad#florida panthers#i love when ekky gets petty i think he should be petty more often#“im a chill happy peace loving guy” NO YOU ARE NOT SWEETHEART LMAOOOOOOO#its the way ekky tries to portray himself and the way he actually comes off thats so special to me#matthew “we dont listen to outside noise!” vs ekky “i remember the names of all my detractors and will write them in blood”#“negativity flows through media so much that it just kind-of disgusts me and I want nothing to do with it to be honest”#said like a man who went first overall to a team that was basically seen as a suffering hellhole for years#and has so much negative media focused on him for fucking ages#“wow that really bothered you” “yep (refuses to elaborate)”#“so like what about THAT bothered you? (proceeds to sus out his feelings)” “exactly” ITS LIKE PULLING TEETH WITH THIS GUY#“get off—” you absolutely know he was gonna say “get off our dicks” oh you know he wanted to say it. thought about it.#and went i cant be that crass in public despite the fact im allowed to say fuck multiple times.#i would pay so much money to get a completely unfiltered conversation with ekky SO MUCH MONEY#unfortunately i think you should be more controversial ekky#say what you really feel baby!#i love the podcast that shall not be named slander like yeah ekky im glad we're on the same page about this#the whatever after he goes im a happy guy i love everyone you doing a great job convincing us this didnt affect you at all#i love ekky so much you dont understand
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😦
#walks out of the swedish class with a thousand yard stare#ill be honest kitten daddys about to kill himself#and it IS this swedish course's fault#its mandatory for all studies... and it makes me wanna die so bad i hateeee it i dont understand anythingggggg#the teacher says all the instructions in swedish and half the time i dont even understand what im missing so i cant ask her to clarify#not that id like to anyway since everybody else seems to be getting by just fine#this is torture id rather pull off my fingernails than go back and its. until christmas. so the sufferings not really even begun yet#and the worst part is ill probably fail anyway so itll all be for nothing#but at the same time ive already suffered for a few weeks so i dont wanna just drop it and do it later yk??#life is agony i take back everything i said about being a career student i HATE academy i HATE learning i HATE studying#my post#nothing makes me despair like swedish class#actual misery like i never feel elsewhere
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i ship inhun in a way that differwnt and more swagful than anyone else btw.
#TBFHHHHH i know i know i knowwww i say a lot. but i dont even ship in in the traditional sense#i dont think it will b canon and i dont rlly WANT it to b canon. its just insane like ZAMNNNNN why r u looking at each other like thatatttt#i dont think that if (IF) inho reveals his identity gihun is gonna magically b like Oh my god… okay well i like u now. more the opposite#and i dont think inho genuinely likes gihun all that much. i think hes obsessed w him in a way that borders on it but. u know#to inho gihun mostly just represents the parts of himself hes locked away. hes like the person inho used to be or cld have been#i think he DOES want whats best for gihun but like. just in his own opinion#to him whats best is to just.. pretend these issues dont exist and move on.#i think being wrapped up in the games is sickening no mattter what side ur on and he knows this. and just wants gihun to forget#i also do think he sees Something special in gihun. but its not like Ahhhh come and rule by my side 😈 LOL#yeah like i said. the recognition of the self. DONT GO DOWN THIS PATH MAN FUCK OFFFFFF#um. also yeah gihun i dont think wld have such a thrn around to like date himmmm oh my god lol#i think its likely hell end up Not killing inho for various reasons and possibly even leaving room for redemption#but yeah i dont think he wld ever trust him even. i dont think he wld let all that slide 😭😭😭#gihun x youngil is bantssss. but not real at all sadly#rhe best fic i read of them was a pre series fic where inho wasnt the front man yet. and he met gihun by chance#and kinda used him to convince himself that what he was doing was right. For The Greater Good etc#i cant remember what it was called but it was sooo good i need to find it sometime#sniff….. living in a sad world where every body mischaracterises them sooooo bad and evil.#THE BEST INHUN CONTENT was the animation of them over the megamind breakup scene. MY GOD#ill be honest. igaf abt their dynamic soooo hard but htemain reaosn i ‘ship’ them is bc theyre both INSANELY FINE. AND I NEED THEM BADLY#and. im obsessed w them separately. so of course they are making out sloppy style in my mind#ill b honest as well i dont think gihun is in the right state of mind for aany of That AT ALLLL rn either.#and as well w inho not being intersted in that way. and also he shot his brother bc it was aconflict of interests. btw.#whatever tho lol the memes and shit r funny as fuckkkkk so idc. keep fucking#anyways sangihun 🔛🔝 for fucking everrrrrer in terms of an actual ship#tho i dont think they wld ever be canon either. well i mean. for obvious reasons#but also bc i dont PERSONALLY think sangwoo wld ever allow himself that. BYE#idk idk idk maybe i am wrong and i know nothing.#SORRY. ik i am fighting invsisible demons again i just saw a post abt Sickos who know Nothing abt the Themes…. NO GUYS.. PROMMY THATS NOT ME
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#really about to talk about this guy again. ive become That Girl. its fine JDJDDKDKD#anyway nothings happened Happened yet but i get more n more sire that its mutual#but im gonna be PATIENT. bc god... nothing good happens when its rushed#im just !!!!!! i like him so much 😭😭😭😭😭#like usually when i like a guy right. its from afar n the minute i talk to them im like ok ew actually i dont like u#but this guy... THISSS GUY.... first of all i cant get enough#and second we're like FRIENDS alright. when im at school we're almost always near each other or talking#and i am in BLISS. OK. JDJDDJDKKZKZ#idk... idk.... ive never felt like thism im both scared n excited at the same time JDJDJDJDJDJDJJDJD#like i'll be honest i never truly related to love songs this much in my life. like pls save me !!!¡!!!!!#n im not saying its love. but like JDJDJDJJDJD. i like him a LOT A LOT..... ya.....#personal
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sometimes..so.etimes they change something even after the premiere. sp you appear and watch an entirely new and prolonged monologue. and it's like. FUCK YEAH.
#me showing up at the theatre: be normal be normal be normal be normal be no#me realising they added some things and it adds a lot of characerisation: BE NORMAL BE NORMAL BE NORMAL BE NORMAL BE NORMAL BE NORMAL!!!!!#(misson failed but at least i was Quiet lmao)#the fun thing about seeing this several times tho is that by now ive stopped trying to figure out the plot#bc i Know the plot by now and i can speak along to a decent portion of lines#so now i focus not on what they mean but what exactly they say in any moment#i notice all the small irrelevant lines that still add so much to the characters voices and dynamics#its sooooo fun#and sometimes its also just really funny#'hell do good' 'didnt you just talk to him? the fuck he will. that man cant even pretend to have any self control'#i mean she was RIGHT#my man is out here being such a miserable little fuck being dramatic about his problems#if he could get a grip on himself for like five minutes everyone could have lived! idiot <3#AND THE OTHER GUY#if you had just KEPT AWAY instead of Walking Up To Your Murderer and distracred them for like. a few minutes longer IT WOULD ZAVE WORKED#like yeah youd still be dead BUT THAT WAS THE POINT WASNT IT#LIKE THIS YOU JUST DIED FOE NOTHING#YOUE BUDDY DIES TOO BC YOU GOT YOURSELF MURDERED TOO SOON. idiot#ill be honest. if they had kissed (and if youd seen rhe way they LOOK at each other) things might have actually gone well#im convinced of this#i have Textual Evidence#anyway. i should read the og play and find out if its the play or just the actors#like do the characters actually constantly refer to each other as 'my [name/title]' or did the theatre make it even gayer themselves#ik the actors are doing it on purpose anyway. that is Not coincidence#a biscuit's rambles
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#it's so weird trying to describe yourself when u really aren't something u used to be#like until i was probably 21 or so id say i was shy. very very shy. but now im like was that even true? was i ever shy bc im not now#maybe i was just quiet and anxious. maybe thats just what being shy is. but im still both of those things but im not shy#im sorta like a hermit. i dont really go around ppl if i can avoid it but i dont hate being around ppl. its just that im less anxious when#im alone. but if u put me around ppl i like to talk to them so im not shy. ill say whatever. i dont really give a fuck#but if u throw me in a group i go back to being a non entity. i guess thats just being an introvert with an asocial streak#thats a thing i noticed while i was at the grad weekend i attended in march. the group would gather and do things while i kinda just#wandered away from them to poke at trees and sit in the snow. i dunno i just feel better away from ppl. my brain gets a lot louder if ive#been too social. which is a shame bc its interesting to watch ppl and understand how thry work#my friend came over to day goodbye before i leave next week. which was nice. i wish we would have hung out more in person but so it goes#and i think in my head im a lot more contained thst i actually am. like if u set me a task that becomes my focus but im also sorta all over#the place. partly bc i think my brain works on like a lag. and also my mood is a little elevated rn so im sorta like *jazz hands* and#talking too fast and too much and oversharing. yesterday i was instrucing an undergrad and felt so bad bc my brain was all over the place.#could not b made linear. im tired now tho bc theres nothing more draining than being emotionally honest and talking for like 2hrs. woof. it#so hot. like fucking so hot bc the monsoons have started and humidity is up so my swamp cooler is fucked and its gotta b at least 80 degree#inside my apartment. holy christ. and the temp has been over 100 degrees for like at least 2 weeks. its so hot its kinda alarming. and im#glad my friend was also freaked out by how hot its been bc oh god its hot. and i cant focus. ive done fuck all today. but i did get rid of#couch which is so so so great. ugh. someone make the sun stop making it so hot#unrelated#its been over 100 degrees outside for like 2 weeks. not on my apartment#and when i say i wish i spent more time with my friend irl. i mean it in a distant sort of way. like thats how im supposed to feel. like i#dont kno if thats actually what i feel or i kno im supposed to b social but idk if i actually mean it
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its impossible for you all to understand how much of my thoughts r in sweeney references. like there is one person on this earth who understand and its my sibling who is similarly inclined...
#bc i cant at work just be like. I had him and then . but with lamp. i can say the first thing that comes to mind#which lets say hypothetically its oot and im trying to get all the poes and theres one left.omg just have to get this one FUCKING poe. so#easy. go to the cunt. its under that little thangy on the other side of the river from the stairs to kakariko. spoilers if yr trying to#find all the poes in oot but im gonna go ahead n tell you nothing is worth dealing with this cunt.#but anyeays. Omg there he is. shoot him. he runs away#im riding on epona teying to catch him trying to shoot HE KEEPS FUCKING GETTING AWAY. IT TOOK ME 2. FUCKING. HOURS.#and like. my 3rd to last attempt. i was so. so fucking close. like one more shot i wouldve gotten him yk. so close. but he gets away. and#Immediate immediate reaction was I had him and then . his throat was there beneath my hand. NO I HAD HIM !!! HIS THROAT WAS THERE NOW HELL#NEVER COME AGAIIIIIIIIN. it was very funny#bc i was genuinely shaking with rage look i dont often relate to sweeney im gonnacome out and say bad dude yk. in that moment ? i was like#no to be honest there IS a hole in the world like a great black pit and its filled with people who are filled with shit and the vermin of#the world inhabit it . and yk who one of those vermin is. That fucking poe that fucking poe i hate him i want him dead.#i want his wife. Dead. i want his wife. Dead. i want his wife. Dead. i want his w#my fav video i miss it..#but anyways yes its near constant. i cant even say yes eithout my brain going yesss... Isnt that her . Shadow-on-the wall 😏? where Theree#Primping making herself even prettier than USUALL if possible.pretty women etc#i cant say oh no without going OH NOOOOO!!! ohhhg goddddd... dont i know you... she said....................#i love final scene mainly bc i love hearing all the sweeneys realizing its lucy Spoilers btw. not bc its like an avting momentbut bc its SO#FUNNYYYY. 2006's oh god genuinely sends me into hysterics. hs says oh no in lowercase and then goes oHhhfh goD...... its so funny#and who is it that does the rly ling OH NOOOO. its the original one ITS SO FUNNYYY#first of all the kittle bahbuh!!! after Its only a miserable old be- is so long its so funny#and then awkward beat of silence and then OH NOOOOOOO!!!!! and then he says oh my god . in the most harrowed voice ever#ITS SO FUNNYYYY#everybody go listen to final scene Firstly it is my favorite sweeney song probably. love loven ofc 2012 number one 4everr the lyrics r#slightly different from every other version bc 2012 sweeney Technically likee. well its set in a different time period normal sweeney is i#think like. late 1800s? 2012 is 1930s bc of the parallels with like capitalism and what have you.. so the framing device is its a group of#factory workers talking abt sweeney GUYS 2012 IS SO FUCKING GOOD IT MAKES ME PHYSICALLY ILL.#but ya its be like. og sweeney is set during the industrial revolution so like yk. n then the 1930s with labor unions n all that was going#on.. u get it u get it anyways. its so good but some kf the lyrics r sliiiightly tweaked just to like. suit the time period better and im#going to say something blasphemous . 2012s lyrics r so much better and flow nicer and dont sound as stilted like. the older ones dont sound
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briefly confided in my mother (mistake i never learn from) about how i am very sad that my ability to have a social life in the world is tied entirely to my sibling, who will be leaving here soon, and how i do not have any other way to get out of the house and how i do not feel i have anything besides work and despite everything that came after, including an apology for saying it, the first thing she said was “well i don’t have anything else either” which is exactly what prevented me from saying anything earlier because i knew that and i know that she is very good at going “it is what it is” about the most miserable of conditions and so would never admit to being unhappy about anything even though there is so much to be unhappy about including having to raise me to begin with, and that she also gets annoyed when others complain or are unhappy about anything because SHE does it and so why can’t everyone do it. and. well. i am pretty nervous about what this means for my life (nonexistent) going forward
#it is a cold thing to say but i feel like i have like. a month to befriend my sibling's friends that will be staying here#enough to want to spend time with me or else i am never going to get out of this fucking household#i dont have many coworkers my age and even fewer that i talk to because i dont like talking to people very much#which is also a massive problem because i want to but i am weird and shy and not always a fan of people and again very strange#but i can barely functionally navigate the world on my own to an upsetting degree. if i dont have someone with me i cant do it.#i am kind of freaked out about all of this. i have today off and work late tomorrow and i wanted to maybe go out tonight#but i. can't. because no one here wants to and im fucking scared to death of calling (and paying for) an uber#and then being out in the world on my own. so i just get to stay here.#not even mentioning i am fairly certain there is a new wave of That Virus going around so what would even happen if i did#which is also fuckinggggg miserable i am the ONLY PERSON who wears a mask to work besides the deli department#drops head in hands im never going to befriend anyone im never going to go anywhere again im never going to touch anyone#i do not want to say this because i am a very repressed person but i am never going to hook up with anyone which is disappointing frankly#i can BARELY text anyone and i am often in too much pain to even walk to the one thing i can do alone which is the library#like. oh my god! my life has no meaning. i trudge along thinking 'maybe it will get better'#and its not all been bad i DO have kind of an almost social life when my sibling takes me to do things with their friends#i got to play dee n dee yesterday and it was cool even though i panicked a few times under attention#ive been able to do things. i have some coworkers i like or at least talk to. im very competent and people like that though they know#nothing else about me besides that im good at my job.#but having those moments of like honest to god Hope makes it feel infinitely worse the rest of the time when im just#staring at the clouds and the clock and thinking oh my god it was all for this and it was not worth it#whatever. classic post of buzz. this doesnt matter and i dont know what the point in talking about it is but i dont have anything else#a job im good at and hate and a blog where i complain and a death wish and thats all. an unbearable early 20s myopia#this is stupid im going to do something else since ive upset myself. AGAIN
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rereading and rereading that post
#i shouldnt try to correct the stuff he said that isnt true about me because#there is no point#it wouldnt change his perspective#nor would it be reassuring#but for some reason im gonna do it anyway#there was never a version of me without illness#i was sensitive too its just that i was somehow able to sort of ignore it when i had to and would let it pile up elsewhere#eventually that clogged my brain and brain just kind of stopped#i cant say i didnt expect something like that to happen eventually but#im surprised that it took this long to get problems that i cant ignore beyond the occasional crying phase#i remember negatives#i had nothing but negatives in terms of human interaction since forever#if im being honest he is the first instance where that has TRULY been subverted#sure i previously attempted to join friend groups before and talked to people#but i never actually thought that those other groups/people were truly worth being friends with#im not even sure why i even tried to anyway i didnt even have anything in common with them#i will agree that i dont really have the problem of not having something to strive for#but its a bit different in my case because i have never not felt desperate to endeavor#its so basal to my mind that its not something that any amount of self hatred or demotivation or anything can get rid of#i guess i could eventually reach a semi-fulfilled homeostasis as long as im good/getting better at the things i like so its not all that ba#but i wouldnt call it sustainable since its inevitably going to fail#whether that be because being good at things slowly grows to be not enough or because i stop being good at them#not exactly sure what this post was meant to achieve#it just comes off as if im trying to make it a competition or invalidate his feelings or something#i guess its just that i always feel the need to clarify everything about myself for some reason#but of course something in me HAS to post it
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THEY LOST MY FUCKING EMAIL
AND THEN FULLYY CANCELLED THE TABLING OPTION FROM THOSE EVENTS
#SO I WAS FUVKING WORRIED FOR FUCKING NOTHING#IM. SO. TIRED#I TOLD MY TEACHER OR WHOEVER I WAS TIRED WND SHE KEYO ASKING ME FUCKING QUESTIONS#WHY AM I SO FUCKINg TIRED#WHY CANT#AGAGGHGGGGHHHHGG#I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS#IM SAYING ALL THIS SHIT AND IM GONNA BE SO HONEST I DONT FEEL ANYTHING#IM NOT UOSEY IM NOT ANGRY IM NOT HAPPY IM JUST FUVKING TIRED#WHY WHY WHY
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Idk how to even talk to anyone anymore when it’s just the same thing in a loop over and over
#i cant tell anyone anything or ask for help cuz lets see what happens#i get hit with a generic ‘just keep going keep looking for jobs keep going’#or i get *too honest* and then ive completely drained someone of life cuz thats really all im capable of doing anymore it seems#like it seems all i do is go on some sorta monologue about how miserable i am which is pointless cuz its not like anyone will do anything#and its just stressing people out too cuz its like lol if youre helpless and have to listen to me bitch over and over to you#its either annoying as hell to hear or its guilt inducing and we cant have that now can we#and im quite frankly tired of all these options like lol the very few people i actually like and enjoy are just fuckin#nothing anymore cuz im ruining their lives and being an awful friend#its really great how youre supposed to confide in people when youre feeling like shit but then doing so ruins everything#lol what am i supposed to do now you know? i cant talk about anything except myself and my misery#and its a never ending cycle cuz im still here in this unsafe environment and im just so fucking sick#of people telling me to just keep going and keep looking for jobs cuz god bitch thats what ive been doing#and i have nothing yet and lets say i get a job tomorrow its probably gonna pay like shit#and im too incompetent to work 40 hours so if i wanna like ease myself slightly itd take even longer to have money#and its just gonna take forever to save money enough to leave and god I need out like right now#because im just gonna go insane and im gonna kill myself if im here any longer every second im here breathing#feels like im being strangled im becoming a monster too and the worst friend of all time and terribly selfish and whiny#lol i guess ive just got this dumb fantasy where ill be saved by someone who treats me nice and they take me away#and i dont have to wait or lift a damn finger i can just. be safe. and get a hug and not fear my life#im so lazy and worthless and horrible I really do just deserve to die#but i guess i cant say that. cuz then itll make everyone too drained lol
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prev post reminds me a friend told me last week she doesnt believe i actually struggle with emotional volatility/dysregulation like ive mentioned before bc shes never seen it firsthand...............
#i dont even know what to tell u girl. i couldnt even give her examples to dispute it bc i find it so shameful and difficult to talk abt#and it would probably be upsetting to her to hear the sort of things that have triggered me. and how ive coped with the outbursts#as if i dont structure all social interaction in my life around trying to swallow this shit down so ppl find me just about tolerable enough#genuinely hurtful thing to hear from someone i care abt. im not upset at her anymore abt it bc what would be the point man#i can understand why she thinks that + i cant control what she believes. but it did bother me a lot + some trust has been lost there.#esp considering she struggles w getting ppl to believe her when she talks abt how she feels bc she doesnt necessarily express it outwardly#in ways other ppl expect. like since ik that im always going to try to assume shes being honest so i dont disrespect how she feels#but its hypocritical + more than a little unfair to not offer other people the same trust + respect. why wont u take me at face value#and anyway why the hell would i say i struggle w controlling my emotions if i dont. what clout am i getting from claiming that#even admitting it is a hard thing for me.... and if thats too much for her to accept it just becomes a barrier in our friendship.#shame but i shouldve expected it tbh. anyway its ok ive moved on no point dwelling on it i dont want to bring it up again#bc theres nothing to gain from it. an apology wouldnt change anything since thats what she genuinely thinks#and whatever she wants to believe doesnt change the fact it is True and likely the biggest cause of strife I experience in my life#blegh stopping there bc im edging into rumination now#god im so tired. bedtime soon i think but maybe ill play a quick game or smth to make it to 10pm.... this week has been so long#.diaries
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I literally keep rereading the dumb message too like absolutely confused and floored that she went from "everything is good and I'm excited!!" And asking me what she can do to help since I mentioned my depression was flaring up around rp as a general hobby (I feel inadequate). Then when I tell her what's up she turns around and quits ????
#personal#max talks#this is so dumb i just...#why does everyone lie???#like literally in the same say shes asking if she can do anything to help me and saying she is excited about our rp#then i tell her id love just some more ooc about the rp/ocs#and all of a sudden weve had nothing but issues and she hasnt been enjoying the rp....#like okay wait what??? you havent been enjoying it ??? but you JUST told me today you were ?????#you told me youd talk to me if you had any issues!!!!#but as soon as an issue arose you just quit ???? thats illogical#anyway i kinda hate people in the rp community of discord a lot rn#this is like the 6th time someone has just lied to me during the process#mutliple have ttied to trick me or force me into writing shit i dont wanna#multiple have lied saying they wanna gush ooc then never talk to me about the rp#like why... cant people just be honest? im baffled
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SURE TIME IS A CONCEPT, BUT THE CLOCK IS TICKING ◔
what more do some of you want?…
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A lot of you need to fix up. stop doomscrolling and complaining and actually apply knowledge.
Do you wanna know how to be like those people who enter the void/ induce pure consciousness with ease after struggling, some of them not even struggling at all? All those success stories that you idolise, screenshot, like, reblog and envy all have one thing in common:
They wanted it. Bad. You need to want it
Those people saw all this shit that they didn’t deserve happen to them, they saw how other people were born with the lives they want, and they decided enough was enough. They weren’t taking shit from the world anymore, they were tired of living lives that they dread, tired of looking at people’s lives with envy, tired of the way life was going for them and how the world treated them unprovoked. They were tired of dreading waking up another day in their shitty realities. Tired of hating themselves in the morning because of another unproductive night. They were TIRED and you need to be too, that fuelled their want for their new lives and got them where they are now.
I’m not saying you can’t be in my asks or you can’t be in my dms. But at what point is it enough? at what point does it become pathetic? You go in these bloggers asks and dms and question them on shit that 1: has been said multiple times or 2: is common sense. But fine, keep playing dumb, keep indulging in the assumption that it “just doesn’t work for you” keep pretending that your just this innocent little baby who “doesn’t understand why it’s not working🥺” 🙄anyway…. You can sit here in this community for as many years as you like while people get what they want.
And although time is a malleable concept that can be manipulated, the clock is ticking, it’s almost 2025 and some of you are right where you started. I need to ask you to sit with your self, look at 2025,2026,2027 heck even 2028, do you see yourself still here? be honest, do you genuinely see yourself with your dream life? if not you need to change your mindset, and stop asking how, you know how!!
Locking in and changing your mindset isn’t this big character development that lasts weeks, it can take seconds. So you could’ve had everything yesterday, 15 minutes ago, an hour ago, even a fucking minute ago, but you’re still here choosing to scroll and act stupid, inhaling new information each day like you were born yesterday. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO DO!!! Are you not tired of the same routine, you get motivated from some posts, you get this high, this amazing feeling like you’re so ready to do it, then you procrastinate and if you do manage to try you “fail” and run back to tumblr for the 100th time. Are you not tired of the same shit?
Again, do yall wanna make it to 2025,2026,2027, even 2028 without all the shit you want? At what point does it become enough information and enough questions asked? I know it feels validating and comforting to complain about your circumstances knowing others can relate, but at what point do you stop aligning with the loser who “can’t do it”? Stop acting like you actually give a shit when you say you’re going to apply and then you come back whining. Start acting like you actually want it.
You’re the only one who can change your life, if you want to still complain sure go ahead. Keep the tumblr “for you page” some company while everyone else is actually applying and getting their dream lives. A lot of you don’t want to hear it but with the way you’re wavering you’re probably going to be here for a few more years.
That doesn’t mean you cant change that, i’m not the one who writes your story, it’s you, again, it’s not hard work to change. Like the art of inducing pure consciousness, nothing is hard, nothing needs effort, so you can change your mindset within the snap of a finger and be good to go. But wavering brings you right back to square one.
the clock is ticking and you are STILL here…. LOCK TF IN!!!
SOME OF YOU HAVEN’T MADE ANY SIGNIFICANT PROGRESS, THAT CHANGES NOW!! ⏳💋
#salemlunaa#reality shifting#shiftblr#permashifting#shifting#law of assumption#void state#loa#success story#the void#void concept#respawning#pure consciousness#shifting consciousness#shifters#shifting blog#shifting community#void#void state tips#voidstate#the void state#i am state#desired reality
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Pissbabies having absolute fits on r/rhythmgames because they can't follow the notes in a fucking 4 button game. Literally talking straight fucking nonsense.
#project diva#sorry but these people are insane :)#i ljtetslly am more distracred by the backgrounds in DJMAX than diva#and thats with my opacity at 0 FUCKING PERCENT!!!#dont even get me stsrted on tbe backgrounds of superbeat xonic#and like top guys RIGHT!!!! therr are NO pjdiva clones even tho its an INSANELY ADDICTING AND FUN GAMEPLAY STYLE#lets be honest too the only reason thrre are no clones is bc cjarting a game like that would be too hard for any newbies bc the reason pjdiv#charts are so good is bc they follow patterns you can learn without even paying attention#i literally couldnt understand double notes at all and without putting thought at trying to learn them beside just continue playung#i ended up learning them!!! bc they followed specific patterns that just come naturally!!!#this just screams to me that they dont like rhthym games the genre but just like games with a track that goes down and thats it no nothing#else#thats fine bht my god acting like pjdiva is awful bc youve jever played it is stupid#pjdiva gets way too much flak from ppl bc its not like anything else out there and its annoying#like if youre gonna say stupif shit you better AT LEAST be agreeing witb me that djmax is tbe best rhthym hame to exist#bc it is#like if you cant even hsve that right then your diva opinions are like theyre coming oht of a cow grazing on a field#thats how little importance they are
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